#I'm going to make a subscription post for this story tomorrow

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Settling in

Part 4 of my Demon Twins AU, a simple shopping trip between Danyal and Bruce, One of the Demon Head’s heirs try being childish. Previous First

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When they entered the high-end department store Bruce has selected Danny froze, there were so many colours, so much movement, so many people and music. He breathed through the anxiety, deep and slow, starting slightly when a large, warm hand landed on his shoulder. “Are you alright?” Bruce asked with a worried expression.

“Yes I’m fine,” Danny said automatically, before pausing for a moment and repeating more sincerely; “I’ll be fine, I just haven’t been in a store like this before. There’s a lot going on, and a lot of people. It’s an adjustment to be somewhere so… brightly lit.” He said, his lip curling slightly

“Alright, maybe I should have brought you somewhere smaller to start, but I didn’t know what style you would like so I wanted to bring you somewhere with a lot of options. We can leave and go somewhere quieter if you want?” Bruce offered.

“I’m grateful for the offer but no, I really will be alright,” Danny assured. “I don’t even know what styles I like. I intended to ask Tim to help me look up some inspiration, but I didn’t get the chance, so I guess I’ll find out what I like as I go. And you’ll have to tell me if something is entirely unacceptable. With as many children as you have you must know something about youth style,” He told Bruce who grimaced a little at the suggestion.

“If I turn out looking ridiculous I’m going to hold you personally responsible,” Danny teased his father with a cheeky smile, and Bruce huffed something that might have been a laugh.

“Well alright, I’ll do my best to help,” Bruce assured, shooing Danny deeper into the store who, reassured that Bruce would tell him if something was unacceptable, took off into the store. He found a bunch of different things, styled and cuts that he wanted to try on, just to see how they felt and looked.

“There’s a limit to how many things you can take into the changing room,” Bruce said when he saw how many thing Danny had grabbed. “Maybe you should go try these on for now and pick out more after?”

“Oh sure!” Danny said looking towards the changing room and then hesitated. “I’ll come out to show you the clothes?” He asked, looking back at his father.

“Of course, I’ll come wait just outside and anything you’re not sure of you can come show me. If you’re sure you don’t like it, or if you’re sure that you do you don’t have to ask me. I know you’re worried, but I really doubt anything you pick out will be totally terrible. This is a pretty high-end store, all the stuff they sell here is fashionable. It doesn’t all match but if you don’t clash colours I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Bruce assured as he lead the way over to the changing room.

He sat down on a bench outside the changing rooms while an attendant showed Danny to a room and he tried on the clothes. He rejected the tighter pants he’d picked out himself, they were too restrictive, the looser jeans were good, and so were the pants. Some of the shirts were good, he found he liked lighter colours on himself and he found some textures that felt good against his skin. He went out to show his father the two outfits that he liked, and with Bruce’s approval he went and picked out more clothes that he now knew would suit his taste. It ended up looking… well not unlike Tim’s style, though with lighter colours, which he sort of knew that it would honestly. He liked the way Tim dressed, he just hoped that Tim wouldn’t mind.

With enough clothes picked out for a decent wardrobe they went to check out, a few people were noticeably staring at them and Danny gave them an impassive but polite smile. He hoped that even though people had clearly recognized it wouldn’t cause problems. They had no such luck though, and were just finishing checking out when someone started taking photos. Bruce quickly hurried them out of the store, staying between Danny and the stranger as much as he could so the only photos would be blurry or obscured. It didn’t matter, they both knew that article would be in the paper by tomorrow morning.

They didn’t talk about it, instead Bruce just told him next they’d be going to was another, more private store where they would be getting him a couple of nice suits for events. Of course, that made sense, Bruce were suits all the time. For all casual clothes seemed to be the norm for Bruce’s children they all had to clean up for various press conferences and galas, Danny has seen the pictures.

The store they went to was really nice! It was quiet, the music they played was peaceful, it smelled like sandalwood, and the clothes were horribly uncomfortable. Danny found he Hated suits, they were scratchy, and warm and constrictive, but he knew they were necessary. He bore with it and said nothing, mostly letting father make the choices because he wouldn’t like any of them anyway. He put up with being touched, and measures, and cooed over by the staff with as much grace as he could, but he was glad when it was done.

“Alright, they’ll make necessary changes so they fit correctly and send them to us, probably just in time for them to have to be let out again when you have a growth spurt,” Bruce chuckled to Danny as they left. Danny smiled politely and tried to pretend his skin wasn’t still crawling from the feeling of the wool against it. Not well apparently because Bruce’s expression immediately softened. “You alright Chum?” He asked, and when Danny didn’t answer he added; “Why don’t we go get some lunch? We can just go through the Batburger drive thru and park somewhere quiet to just eat in the car?”

“That sounds good,” Danny agreed, he didn’t know what Batburger was of course but quiet, food and a little break from the errands sounded nice.

It turned out what Batburger was, was really fucking good! The food was really greasy and flavourful, and Damian would hate it no doubt, but Danny thought it was great! He ate carefully, trying not to get any grease or sauce on his new shirt, and mostly succeeded. “Thank you,” He murmured when Bruce passed him a napkin and pointed to bit of sauce that had fallen on his shirt. Danny scowled a little as he wiped it up sauce carefully.

Bruce cleared his throat awkwardly and Danny looked up, his brow furrowing a little. Bruce wasn’t looking at him, fidgeting with his fries, Danny bit back the urge to tell him not to play with his food. “I know you don’t fully trust me or feel comfortable here, and I want you to know that that’s okay,” He said without looking at Danny. Well that was random, did he think that Danny’s discomfort with the wool suit had been something deeper? Danny blinked owlishly at his father.

“The way you’ve been raised… Even seeing through some of it like you did, or maybe because you did, you’re remarkably self reliant, but you don’t have to be.” Bruce forged ahead despite Danny’s blank stare. “I’ll do what I can to earn your trust, and I want you to know that you can always come to me with anything you need.”

Danny looked down and took another bite of his burger, turning Bruce’s words over in his head. They were reassuring honestly, it was good that Bruce didn’t immediately demand loyalty and trust, that he was willing to earn it as all was a good sign. “I appreciate that,” Danny said hesitantly, he wasn’t sure what else to say. He put down his burger and cleaned his hands as he considered it. “You’re right, there wasn’t really anyone I trusted at the league. Obviously not Grandfather, mother… was maybe the closest. I know she loved us deeply, but not as much as she loved the league, she was very clear that there were certain things I thought and knew that I couldn’t tell her as to not divide her loyalty. And Dami means more to me then anyone, but he idolizes grandfather so there was really no one I could talk about my doubts with.

“It took a lot of careful work to get out of there, and I’m good at it, but it would nice not to have to be. More then anything I want Damian to see the truth about all this so I don’t have to hold him at arms length anymore. That was always their plan though, to separate us. There were things about the league he couldn’t tell me so I couldn’t tell you when I left, and I knew things about you and the outside world at large I wasn’t supposed to tell him. By the time they decided to send us both here the damage was done really, and we were used to keeping secrets from each other too.”

He sighed and wrapped what was left up his burger up and put it back in the bag, he wasn’t hungry anymore. When he glanced over Bruce was giving him a pitying look that put Danny’s teeth on edge. He couldn’t help the bit of green that crept into his vision as he bared his teeth. “Don’t look at me like that, we did what we had to to survive.”

“I know,” Bruce said calmly, resting a reassuring hand on Danny’s shoulder. “And you did well, I just wish I had known about you and Damian sooner so that you wouldn’t have had to. If I had known that you two existed nothing could have kept me from getting you from that place.”

Danny took a deep shuddering breath, trying to imagine what their lives would have been like if Bruce had come for them, what sort of people they could have been. But trying just made him sad, he sighed and shook his head. “Thanks,” He murmured, and things were silent for a long minute while Bruce ate a few more fries and then packed away his food as well.

“So, it’s up to you what we do next. I intended to get some decorations for your room, maybe glow in the dark stars for your ceiling, and then I was going to take you to the planetarium, I already have it reserved for us. But if you’re too tired that’s alright, I should have expected this might be overwhelming,” he said with a sigh. ”I guess I was a little overexcited,” he admitted ruefully.

Bruce didn’t have to worry, Danny perked up immediately at the mention of going to the planetarium, suddenly finding he was no where near as tired as he thought he was! “No I want to go!” He said quickly, sitting up properly in his seat and folding his hands in his lap. “Please! I can handle a little more shopping if we’re going to the planetarium after,” He assured with a seriousness that had Bruce stifling a smile.

“Alright wonderful, let’s get going then,” Bruce agreed, finally starting the car again and pulling out of the secluded parking lot they’d settled in. He was just glad no one had tried to break into the car while they were sitting there! After all this was Gotham.

Danny rallied himself well for the last bout of shopping, getting some personal touches for his room including a bedspread he liked, glow in the dark stars, and a few other nick-knacks to personalize the space. It was clear Danny was impatient though, rushing them through the store so that they could get to the main event, the reward for getting all these errands done. Good thing too because it seemed after they’d been spotted earlier the press was on high alert and they barely managed to hustle back to the car before cameras started flashing.

Danny couldn’t sit still in his seat on the final leg of the drive to the observatory and when they got out of the car he ended up grabbing Bruce’s hand to haul him along when he went to slow. Bruce had to laugh as his son’s eagerness, speeding up but not too much so Danny wouldn’t end up running, and maybe to see more of the rather adorable exasperation on his youngest son’s face. They were a little early for their reserved hours but the staff didn’t seem to mind and let them start their tour.

Bruce watched as Danny absolutely lit up as the tour guide told them about the stars, and Nasa, and the known species of aliens. It was so good to see Danny so happy of course, but it also gave Bruce some important information, all of his previous smiles had been some level of fake. Some more then others he was sure, but now having seen Danny truly happy he would know better when the boy was faking, even though he faked very well. Bruce had already had an idea that Danny was, especially when it was a little more strained like when Dick had been fussing over the twins, but it was good to have it confirmed nonetheless.

Bruce had been to the planetarium before, but more for fancy mixers, not with one of his children and it was fun! He paid more attention to the tour and learned a few small facts even though he knew most of info, and it was a little annoying to have to play dumb as Brucie Wayne. After the tour the last stop was the gift shop, where he waited by the counter while Danny rushed around to look at everything.

Honestly they could have skipped the interior design store and just come here to decorate Danny’s room. He picked out far more here. Including a soft blanket with star patterns, a light that would project the Milky Way on his ceiling, a few books, and, after hesitation, a plush version of a made up alien. The sort with grey skin and large heads.

“Is this alright?” He asked when he brought his picks up to the counter. “I can put some of it back,” He added looking up at Bruce with an unsure expression, he seemed to be trying not to pout and not fully succeeding, he clearly didn’t want to put any of it back. Good thing money didn’t really matter in this.

“No that’s alright,” Bruce promised as he pulled out his wallet. “It’ll help make your room feel more like yours, I want you to be comfortable here,” He assured. Danny grinned up and him and piled the items on the counter. The woman behind the counter smiled at him as she scanned the items, Danny smiled back, genuine but shy, an unusual smile for him.

Bruce was tired by the time they left, and Danny was energized beyond belief, practically dancing around Bruce, carrying the bags as he chattered at Bruce about the stuff he’d just learned. Bruce listened with a little smile, humming and nodding along as Danny switched to talking about how excited he was to read the books. He stowed most of his stuff in the back seat, keeping the plush as he climbed into the passenger seat, repeatedly running his fingers over the soft fabric of the alien, finally falling silent.

“You did well today Danny, I’m glad you had fun at the planetarium,” Bruce said without looking away from the road.

“I did,” Danny murmured in agreement, when Bruce glanced over Danny was frowning slightly down at the plushy. “They took pictures of us, there’ll be an article by tomorrow about your new charge. We’ll have to do an interview within the week. I can do it, but I’m worried about Damian being out in the public eye so soon, I’d offer to do it for both of us, but I don’t think he’d accept being left out.” Danny said.

Ah, back to being far too serious for his age and worrying about his brother. “I can speak for both of you for now, make an announcement about how I have two new sons but you need time to adjust so you won’t be in the public eye,” Bruce suggested and Danny nodded thoughtfully.

“Damian won’t accept it unless you specify we’re your biological sons,” He said with a wry smile and Bruce chuckled.

“Alright, with my play-boy reputation I don’t think it’ll surprise anyone,” Bruce agreed, and Danny nodded again.

“That will do, you should call a meeting with the two of us tomorrow to discuss it, so he won’t feel left out,” Danny murmured.

“You look out for him a lot, don’t you?” Bruce asked thoughtfully.

“We look out for each other, I know your rule against killing, but it was necessary in the LoA and more then once he finished off a target that was supposed to be mine. I could rarely follow through. My skills are less obviously useful then his skills with a blade and willingness to draw blood. I expect if you asked him, he would say he looks out for me more.”

“And you let him believe that?” Bruce asked, without judgment, whether or not it was true he wanted to know what Danyal thought.

“He’s very stubborn, I would prefer not to fight with him. We look after each other according to our skills, that’s always been enough for me,” Danny mused, running his fingers over the plush again.

“You’re a good kid Danny,” Bruce said, reaching over to ruffle Danny’s hair. “Why don’t you pick something to listen to on the radio?” That was enough serious talk for tonight. Danny nodded and started messing with the dials, finding some music and turning it up a bit.

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When they got home the other had already eaten but Alfred had set them aside meals. He shooed Bruce and Danny into the kitchen to eat, assuring Danny he would bring the bags from the car up to his bedroom to unpack later. Damian came to sit with them and quiz Danny about what the outing was like as he ate. Between bites Danny told Damian as much about the day as he could, as honestly as he could to prepare Damian for his own trip tomorrow. Bruce mostly stayed quiet through the meal, he seemed to be off in his world but both the twins knew he was listening to them intently.

“Do you want to come see the stuff that I got today?” Danny asked, tilting his head to the side a little.

“Why would I want that?” Damian asked with a sniff, a beat of silence following as Danny stared hard at a brother. “But alright,” he relented.

“Great! Come on,” Danny said, getting up from his chair, bringing his dishes over to the sink. “Thank you again Father,” Danny said politely before rushing off with Damian on his heels, chiding him for childish behaviour.

“Damian, we are children,” Danyal told his brother once they were in Danny’s room with the door closed, giving Damian a little smile. “Father will not mind if we act our age, at appropriate times of course. I know that because I tried it today, I was excited when he took me to the planetarium and I didn’t try to hide it. If anything, he found my childish behaviour charming,” He pulled the stuffed animal out of one of the bags and tossed it to Damian.

“Neither of us have ever had a stuffed animal have we? We witnessed other children beyond the League of Shadows having them, but we were ‘to old for them’ the moment we were old enough to want one. But Father didn’t blink at buying me one today, he doesn’t mind if we let loose a little. I promise,” Danyal said, giving Damian a reassuring smile.

Damian harrumphed, examined the stuffed alien and then tossed it back onto Danny’s bed. It was a better reaction then Danyal had feared, he’d half expected Damian to try and destroy the plushy. Danny started to unpack his clothes as Damian thought that over. The occasional snide comments about Danny’s choices were absentminded and didn’t take away from his thoughts, Danny ignored them.

“We don’t know how to be children,” Damian said, sulkily, he didn’t cross his arms and pout, but Danny could tell by the way his hands twitched that he sort of wanted to.

“No we don’t, I don’t think we even really know how to be ourselves. But I think we can try, do some slightly silly things, ask for some things that Grandfather and Mother would never let us have or do. What’s the worst thing that he could do to us Dami? Punish us? We’ve been hurt plenty, we’ve been trained not to fear pain. Throw us out? We can return to the league if he does. The worst thing he can do is be disappointed, and we can learn from that. We have much to learn, and we won’t if we don’t try.”

Damian hummed, unconvinced but without argument. Danny shrugged, he couldn’t make his brother do anything, just try to nudge him in the right direction… or what he really hoped was the right direction.

Letting the serious conversation drop Danny unpacked the rest of his trinkets and set them up around the room, leaving the stars to put up later and laying out his on the bed. “I think the constellations we can see from this part of the world are different from the ones at home,” He said as he flipped to one of the pages showing the night sky. “Maybe some day he’ll take us on a mission, somewhere with a clearer sky. I want to know all the constellations we might see before then.”

Damian gave a long-suffering sigh but sat down next to Danny so they could look at the book together.

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More on AO3

#danny phantom #DCU #DC stands for disregard cannon #dc x dp #Danyal al ghul #damian wayne #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #demon twins #demon twins AU #something feels off about this chapter but I'm to tired to tell what #I'm going to make a subscription post for this story tomorrow #Danny loves space #good dad bruce wayne

[shai-manahan]

Hi! It's been a while since I've talked about the upcoming updates, but I finally had a chance to actually sit down and make plans! (the life of a corporate slave, am I right? 🙃)

It has something to do with the changes I will be implementing on my patreon, though. I've thought for a while how to give content that's worthwhile of subscriptions while also making sure I can be comfortable with them, and in all honesty, I had a tricky time doing it. HM is too personal for me, as I used to talk about before, and some of the patreon benefits I promised before eventually felt too revealing - of my own thoughts and people whose lives were a huge inspiration for this story.

I will be talking about these changes and the update schedules as well below the cut.

UPDATES

I aim to finish at least half of HM's Book 1 this year. It seems to be a more realistic goal than forcing myself to finish everything right away (which tbh may have been a huge pressure I put on myself the past few years), though admittedly, things are unpredictable in the field I'm in; my job is full of overtime hours, and I spend most of my weekends trying to recover (or sick).

Still, I gotta finish it one way or another, and it's not going to write itself (though I wish it would!), so yeah, set realistic deadlines, pull out a few all-nighters, and maybe I'll actually get through it, who knows?

I do hope I'll have steadier finances by the time Book 2 starts so I can put more focus on writing and have sufficient energy for it, but that's a conversation for another day.

Changes in Prologue - Chapter 2

Okay. I know I promised not to make revisions until I write more chapters, but changing how some game mechanics work and reworking the stats made it a necessity, and I underestimated how much rewriting I'd have to do. A few scenes ended up not working well anymore, and I couldn't resist from revising a few clunky sections while I was at it.

Dialogue options were one of those that were significantly affected by the stat changes, but no worries, nothing is changed in the story -- meaning Wesley still fucks with the Ripper's life (oops), Richard still goes off doing whatever non-sus thing he's doing, you can still punch Bale (it's even a lot funnier this time), Bertrand remains a bitchy cop, and you'll still have your sad flashback with your former best friend/lover/crush or whatever they are to your MC.

The plan is to release the updated version of Prologue and Chapter 1 to patrons by the end of March (I will have a few days off work that week) and release it to the public once the new content is also ready, which I presume will be available next month (I will keep you all posted but I really hope I can get it done by then because it's been forever 🥲).

I might tweak Chapter 2 a little so the available portion can stand on its own rather than be divided into two parts, because it's just too long lmfao and is harming the pacing as I keep worrying about the length. I'm also incorporating a few suggestions a few folks gave me these past few months.

Succeeding chapters

I've probably said this before but things are bound to get more insane in HM once we're past the first three to four chapters. But also quicker to write in a way. They're the kind of scenes I thrive in, and while they have bigger variations, they're a lot more fast-paced, characters start being manipulative little shits, and the threats are more prevalent than ever. Your Ripper will not have a good time, but I certainly will (I say as I look at my outline and get sad doing it). There will be a few "breaks" in between, but this is not and will never be a light-hearted story. Anyway, I'm inclined to believe I'll be more consistent with updates when that time comes, so bear with me for now :')

PATREON CHANGES

This is getting long, so I'll just list the updated tier benefits and end the day with it. I'll be posting a schedule that I will be committing to (here and on patreon tomorrow morning), with the below details as well (so if you wanna stop here that's totally valid) but for now, here's the tentative list:

Tier 1

Early access - 4 days before a public update (this month will be an exception and you'll get the update as soon as the other tiers get it, too).

Sneak peeks and deleted scenes - I included the latter because apparently I delete a lot of great scenes

Hints for future revelations in the story - the categories will depend on results of polls; the hints may be about Bale's death, about Ripper's family, Pharos, Cyro, the ROs themselves, or the nightmares that the MC is getting, etc. Might be in form of vague conversations/dialogues between unknown characters, might be me dropping subtle info about those involved. Either way, it will be fun :). The polls and these hints will be given monthly.

Tier 2

Early access - 1 week before a public update

all the other benefits for Tier 1

monthly RO snippets - I'm still experimenting with this, but I might simply write MC x RO snippets (with different kinds of MCs for different scenarios because I deeply hate writing blank slate MCs, sorry)

a choice to see the POV of a character, decided through polls, for every chapter/update.

Tier 3

Early access - as early as it's available and goes through testing stages

all other benefits for previous tiers

Non-RO short stories

Previews on unintroduced characters :)

That's all for tonight! I am so tired lmfao but I hope you all are having a great weekend so far! See you tomorrow :)

#patreon #patreon changes #updates #hollowed minds progress update #interactive fiction #hollowed minds series #hollowed minds #wip #writing #hollowed minds book one #if wip #interactive novel

[watercolor-hearts]

So if you can answerr the ao3 wrapped: 5 6 15 and 29 please 😊

[Ao3 wrapped – Ask me about my stories/writing this year.]

Hi 😊 Of course I can. Thank you so much for asking. Long post ahead because... I love talking about writing/my stories. 😂❤

5. Has a work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Yes, Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams: 14 subscriptions, 2875 hits, 131 kudos, 5 comments, 9 bookmarks.

When I posted my first Lestappen story (not this one) I was surprised how quickly the hits and kudos count climbed. And then I realized Lestappen was the top ship. (For me it's always Maxiel so that's why it was surprising.) And in case of this story the big amount of feedback was also surprising because it's about non-planned pregnancy, abortion and it's... not about easy topics. But it was nice to see people liked it so much. (It's my number one story if we view them by hits count.)

6. Favorite title you used

I don't have artsy titles, I usually just pick something from the story and make it the title so they're really basic but I still can't choose only one so here are all my faves:

Battle scar; Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams; In Sickness and In Health; Blood, sweat and tears; and Home.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

For sure I'm gonna take In Sickness and In Health/Depressed Seb AU with me into next year because I still have a lot of story ideas for it. I'm planning to finish at least one this year but I'm sure I'll write for this au next year too. Having this little universe means a lot to me. ❤

And I think I'll also take my Charlos mpreg/premature birth/male lactation story into next year because even though I stopped talking about it, I still want to write it (uni was a bit too much and I had no time to write. But tomorrow (now today because it's now past midnight as I finish this post) is my last day so I hope I'll be able to write again soon.)

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Now this is a difficult one because so far I've written 47 stories this year. (Big big thanks to Em and Nyx for sending me my first ever prompts and giving me a chance to start this amazing journey. ❤ And also big thanks to everyone who has ever sent me a prompt. It means a lot. ❤)

Now I'm gonna try and list as few of my fave lines as I can because I don't want to copy and paste all of my fave stories here but it's not always easy. 😂 (Mission (kind of) failed. Sorry.)

In Sickness and In Health

In sickness and in health, they say. Seb and Kimi knew it well.

•

“Just a little snack,” Seb said, heading to the kitchen. He knew he needed to eat but there were times when it wasn't that easy. But for Kimi, he tried. Kimi saved him, he’ll always try for him.

•

Seb was holding on to Kimi’s upper arm like he was scared Kimi would leave him alone. Not that Kimi wanted to do that. He would never leave Seb alone.

•

He knew his back would be dead if he slept there but, to be honest, the only thing he cared about was his lover on top of him, sleeping peacefully; a calm moment after all the storms of the last few weeks, even months. Therapy sessions, arguments, struggles with the food he was supposed to eat, and long nights filled with crying; it wasn’t easy. It’s never easy but now there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. 

Maybe I deserve all of this

“You know, when people see someone crying, they usually say something like ‘please don’t cry, it’s going to be alright’ because they… they don’t really know what to do when someone cries. Nobody really teaches you what to do.

•

“Can you… Can you take off your t-shirt?” George asked a few moments later.

“Already want me half naked, I see you, Georgie,” Alex teased, giving a quick kiss on George’s head before taking off his t-shirt.

“Just want to feel your skin,” George murmured, “And your heartbeat.”

•

“I wouldn't compare pain,” Alex said, “because it’s not something you can or should compare. It’s not about whose pain is worse. Everybody’s pain is valid and they deserve to get comforted if they want to.

•

We all have moments like this; when we’re vulnerable and just want someone to hold us.”

“And it’s one of the best things in the world when you have someone to hold you.”

I will kill you (but I will kill André first)

“Fuck,” Sam muttered under his breath, finally giving in and leaning back.

“Please wait with that,” André said, jokingly, making Jev laugh and Sam smile in disbelief. “I'm sure you could give a great lap dance to Jev but I don't want to see it. At least not this close.”

“I can't believe you, Lotterer,” Sam shook his head, laughing, “I fucking can't believe you.”

I'm breathing...

“Lewis, do I have to call a doctor?”

Lewis immediately shook his head. “No, it's okay, it's just… I just…” Lewis huffed as he tried to tilt his head back to open his airways more and let the air fill his lungs. He tried hard not to let panic fully take over his mind as the anxiety reached the top.

“Try to sit up,” advised Bono and tried to help Lewis by putting his hand on the driver's back, between his shoulder blades, to support him. “I know it's not easy now but try to breathe slowly,” the engineer advised as he caressed Lewis' back. “You can control your body. Trust yourself.”

The driver nodded, tilted his head back again, and closed his eyes to concentrate on his breathing. He felt like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs no matter how hard he tried or which breathing technique he used.

“You can do it, Lewis,” said Bono in his usual calm voice, “I know you can do it. Try to make these small breaths a little longer. If you manage to control your breathing, your heart will slow down too and then the strange feeling in your chest will go away.”

Home

“Your heartbeat sounds like home,” Seb said, breaking the silence a few moments later.

“Really?” Kimi asked, surprised. Seb has always been the cheesier one, but after everything that happened, this hit really close to home for Kimi. 

#dacchamp #simi #galex #lestappen #formula 1 #my writing

[quinnsqueries]

Best Writing Resources (In My Opinion)

NaNoWriMo

This website is amazing! I love using it to help me achieve my writing goals. It helps you track how much you've written, and seeing a set goal is really helpful for me as a writer!

The Writers Digest

I get emails from The Writers Digest sometimes, so I guess it would be rude not to include them on the list! They give great writing advice, and there is tons of inspiration on their page as well. Go check them out!

Reedsy

Reedsy is a life saver for me, they have so many different prompts, and they run regular writing contests. I like to visit their website when I need inspiration, and sometimes even character names!

Grammarly

While I don't use Grammarly as much as most writers, sometimes it's nice to see what changes they'd make to my writing.

ProWritingAid

I use this one more than Grammarly for editing, mainly because they offered a lifetime subscription and Grammarly did not. I find that they both work the same.

The Young Writers Initiative

The Young Writers Initiative, also known as TYWI, is an amazing resource for young writers. I discovered it through The Summer Writeathon last year(?) and have been part of their discord server since. They offer many free resources like Beta Reading, Editing, Cover Design, etc. You can also make so many writing friends, too!

The Authors Of Tomorrow

Ah, another initiative worth mentioning! Similar to TYWI, The Authors of Tomorrow has a discord server, and there are a lot of writers to meet and befriend. They host Coach Hunts, where you can meet your writing coach, and have lots of helpful posts on their instagram and more! Go check them out.

GoodNotes

There are many notebook apps out there, but GoodNotes is by far my favorite. If you own a tablet and like writing with your hands, I recommend GoodNotes. I love using it for planning out my stories, because I can be a disorganized mess when writing, and this way I can reorganize my notes the way they should have gone down rather than the way they actually did. Plus, I mess up and rewrite things so many times, I create holes in my paper from erasing too much.

Google Docs

Google Docs is easy to use and free to use! Just open up a doc and write. Just...don't stare at the blank doc all day.

Final Draft

This one is pay to use, but makes screenwriting so much easier. I would never format my scripts right if it wasn't for them.

Pintrest

Character Boards. Need I say more?

Tumblr/Instagram

There is a ton of writing advice out there for writers of all ages on social media. I save SO many posts on Instagram and a LOT of them originated on Tumblr. Heck, I'm writing this on Tumblr. Just, don't fall into the rabbit hole and avoid writing TOO much.

#writing research #writing resources #writing help #writingtips #writing advice #creative writing #writing #aspiring writer #writblr #writing tips #writerscommunity #writers block

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Interview with Jess Mahler, Part 1

Today's interview is with Jess Mahler, writer of serialized queer SFF fiction! You can find them and their work at the following:

Substack: https://jessmahler.substack.com/

Webserial catalog: https://jessmahler.com/webserial-catalog/

Author page: https://books2read.com/ap/nAEEOn/Jess-Mahler

A pre-sale for upcoming release: https://www.smashwords.com/books/presale/1154035/DJNG3G

Part One can be found under the cut, Part Two will be posted tomorrow!

You write serial queer SFF fiction. Why does that kind of fiction interest you, and how did you get started in it? Did you know Dickens – Charles Dickens, 'A Christmas Carol' Dickens, why the fuck are you making me read this hundred-year-old 'Classic' Dickens, wrote his books as serials? Serials fell out of fashion when novels became affordable. For a time, they were replaced by newspaper comics. The old comics like Prince Valient and the Phantom are some of the last survivors of the time when most long-form fiction was newspaper serials. When I started planning this 3 years ago, almost no one had heard of serials. You sometimes saw serials on Amazon where each chapter was published as a 99c ebook, and there was Tales of MU and other free fiction folks had shared for ages. But incredibly niche and nothing subscription based.

A few years ago, I had several problems:

I was struggling with long-form fiction – I kept having ideas for short stories that spawned sequels, so I tried to just write novels, and that… didn't go horribly but didn't work well either.

I had accepted that I was shit at marketing and needed to do something different if I wanted people to hear about my writing.

I needed a new blog topic.

I cannot work on one story at a time. I need at least two stories to bounce between. And after 3 months of focusing on a storyline, I need to take a break.

A friend and I were talking the mess over one day when something in the convo reminded me that Dickens' stuff was all first written as newspaper serials. One thing became another, and I launched Jess Mahler's Serials on January 1, 2021. Amazon announced its subscription serial service, Kindle Vella, a few months later, and I still say they stole my idea. wink

Why did you decide to focus on queer SFF?

Why queer fiction? Because I'm queer, and I like to queer shit. I never actually set out to write queer fiction. I originally described the serials only as SFF. But at one point, I realized that while most of the stories are SFF (there are two exceptions so far), all of them are queer.

As for why SFF – well, there's the fun reason and the practical reason. The fun reason is that I grew up burying myself in myths and legends and folk tales. Then in 7th grade, we read The Littlest Dragon Boy in English class. I asked my teacher where I could find more like it – I never looked back.

The practical reason is that I'm not that good at research. I tried doing a historical fiction story once and gave up a month in after realizing I'd never be able to get the setting accurate enough to suit me. I reworked it as a 'lost colony' sci-fi bit. It was one of the first serials I wrote, and it's on Smash and Amazon now as Bound by His Oath.

Me+worldbuilding? Amazing stuff happens Me+research? Sad face So I play to my strengths.

How do you go about planning a serialized work of fiction? What helps keep you on track with a regular schedule of updates? 

Once I decided to go with serials, I wanted to have a firm word count goal for each episode. I aim for 1000-2000 words, which I figured is a good length for reading on a lunch break or waiting for the bus. I have several friends who are often frustrated with not being able to read because of a lack of time or trouble focusing. So keeping it short seemed like a good way to make the stories accessible.

Because of my own attention span, I decided to break stories down into 'seasons' of about 3 months long. ~1500 word episodes, for 12-14 episodes gave me a rough goal for each season. Two episodes a week, because most of the time I can write 3-5000 words a week, which meant (I figured) that I could write, edit and post 2-4000 words a week without too much trouble.

Some stories, like How NOT to Save the World or Planting Life in a Dying City, I have an idea for a full novel-type storyline. I'll sketch out the overarching plot and break it into sections and subplots that will work for season-length story arcs. Other stories, like Mighty Hero Force Epsilon or Last Lady of Lună, I have an idea for the characters. "What if this happened to these people?" I try to at least have a general idea for how a season will end.

I knew I wanted the first season of L3 to end with Nastasia and her sotii having a solid start to their new relationship. But I swear Epsilon's season 1 ending surprised me as much as any of my readers. I use a spreadsheet to track what's written, what needs to be edited, what's scheduled, when I expect to finish a season, so on and so forth.

On an episode level, I've learned not to plan too far ahead of my writing. What I expect to be 13 episodes always ends up being 12 episodes, or 14. But for stories and seasons, I've got a rough schedule worked out through the end of 2024. And a list of 7 stories waiting to join rotation after that.

Sadly, because of my health problems, I do tend to miss updates. This year I've missed about 8 updates, which works out to less than one a month on average. That wouldn't bother me, except they tend to come in chunks – when I'm healthy I try to write enough to create a buffer. Then I use up the buffer a bit at a time until it runs out. I have a 'snippet month' in September/October where I share story ideas and mini-fics. It gives me time to catch up or rebuild the buffer, but so far I've been running out of buffer around July. Which means there are often several misses over July and August. 

How do you approach writing a second season of a serial story? Is that something you plan from the beginning, or do you figure out you want more to the story as it goes along? 

I guess I got ahead of myself in question 2. ;-) But regardless of if I have a full story planned or not, I do have a feel for how many seasons a story will run. Epsilon has to be at least three seasons. The first had to introduce the characters and the world, the second will… well, I won't spoiler, but fix the mess the characters find themselves in, and the third will either resolve or extend the story. One is written, I have a very general idea of how two will go, and three… well, there will be a season three. Past that? There be dragons. (Figuratively, in this case.) Other stories I know will only be a single season – or even a mini-season. First Came Trust, I knew going in wouldn't be more than 8-10 episodes. It actually ended up shorter than that! It's something like an odd meet-cute. Sort of. You don't get a long story out of two people meeting and deciding to take a chance on each other. No matter how unconventional the meeting. (If you want a break from Christmas-everything, First Came Trust is out in ebook on Dec 21.) 

 If someone wanted to get into serial fiction, what advice would you give them? 

Well, definitely stay off of Vella. Amazon is evil, but beyond that – if you go through Vella you give Amazon control of your writing and audience. Don't give evil people control of you or your career. You need to know yourself as a writer – how fast do you write, how often, and how quickly do you edit? It does no good to commit to writing three episodes a week if you can't reliably write more than one. Think about what audience you are writing for. I know, I know, trite advice. But here, we're coming from a different direction. Remember what I said before about how I know folks who don't have time to read, so I stuck with short episodes? I went with a newsletter format for the same reason. Quick and easy reads in your inbox. I went with multiple stories running concurrently so new readers would always have a story they could jump into without a huge backlog. What are the reading habits of your audience? Do they want to curl up with a long chapter each week? Do you think they care how consistently you update? (Long-term fanfic readers won't care about consistency, mainstream readers probably will.) Will they prefer to read on a website? Email? App? "Fast, Good, and Cheap, pick two" is the business maxim. I think the serial equivalent is "Frequent, Good, and Word Count." You can post good stories frequently. You can post high word counts frequently. You can write good stories with a high word count per episode. But posting good, high-word-count episodes frequently? Not so much. Put your writing habits and audience together, and pick two. I picked frequent (twice a week) and good. I know of folks doing serials that only post once a month, but when they post, it's a lot at once. You can do whatever works for you – but unless you are a full-time writer, you can't do all three. 

Can you tell us more about some of your favorite stories you've written, and why you decided to write them? 

Oh geez, I have to pick? Tell you what, let's talk about the 2023 schedule instead of making me pick between my babies. I've got 4 stories I'll be posting in 2023. The Bargain and Planting Life in a Dying City are two of my older stories. I started them both as novels and actually published the Bargain. (Please don't buy the ebook, it wasn't properly edited, and I'm embarrassed. The publisher is supposed to pull it soon.) The Bargain – so, I'm aro-ace, though I didn't even know the words when I started writing this one. I'm also kinky. The Bargain began as me writing the kind of kink story I wanted to read. It's got heavy queer platonic/chosen family vibes and focuses on the bond between people in a power exchange relationship. With fae, magic, a bit of court intrigue, self-discovery, and a few other things. Planting Life is a world-building project that spawned a story. Hopefully several stories. The original idea was 'how would tech and society have developed if magic existed as a kind of natural force.' So, of course, I had to define my magic, build my world, etc. Planting Life is set in a Bronze age society before anyone has learned to control magic. In fact, magic barely exists in the story. Instead, the story is about a group of traumatized individuals creating a new family and a new start in a stagnating society. But there will be spin-offs and sequels. The next story will focus on an Archimedes-like character who is one of the first to begin understanding and harnessing magic. Last Lady of Lună is my newest story and grew out of my finally understanding and accepting that I am aromantic. I just don't understand WTF romance is and that comes out in my writing. See, I write a lot of love stories, but while they meet the technical criteria for romance stories (stories about love and relationships with an HFN or HEA ending), they don't register as romance with a lot of people. So… I challenged myself. I love romance stories, especially paranormal romance stories. Last Lady of Luna is me making a conscious effort to write a why choose romance story. It's about a vampire and the humans who agree to be her companions, food, protectors, and (eventually) lovers. Slow burn, but I'm told that so far I'm nailing the burn. Mighty Hero Force Epsilon started as a dream. Literally. There's this one scene, about halfway through the first season, where the Big Bad's lieutenant– anyway, yeah. So I dreamed that scene. And when you read the scene, you'll understand why I had to figure out what happened after. Which meant I had to figure out what came before. Which is how we got here. Folks familiar with the genre will recognize it as a sentai story (think Power Rangers if you aren't familiar with anime). 

When it comes to writing serial fiction, finding a place to host it can be a challenge. Why did you decide on using Substack, and what advice can you give others who want to check out that platform for themselves? 

I went with Substack because it's a good newsletter platform. It doesn't make me pay to have a subscription set up when I have less than 50 subscribers and allows 'adult content'. I'm looking at alternatives because the navigation is a pain. (New readers should start on the website to get caught up.) And I'm hearing things about the folks running it being transphobic. Turns out my web host, Dreamhost, has built-in newsletter functionality now. So that's a thing I'm looking at. But yeah, finding hosting can be a challenge, which is why I'm still here. Just… try not to stress the stats. I've had days where Substack told me I had 0 views, 1 like, and 1 comment. I've had it tell me that I had a like from a subscriber who supposedly has never opened a single email. You should never take numbers (other than number of subscribers) too seriously if you can help it – you never know how they're calculated. But extra don't take Substack numbers seriously. 

Part 2 to follow!

#writblr interviews #interview wednesdays #serial fiction

[paruecake]

4.11.22 - 10:32 am - Monday

I am on an Ascendance of a Bookworm rampage right now. I read everything that's currently published in about 2 weeks and I'm just dying for more. I even got a J-Novel Club subscription so I can at least read a new chapter every week, so I'm really excited that I have something like this to keep me going! Season 3 of the anime is going to start soon, so I'll have another thing to look forward to every week. Though I will say, part of me is a little afraid I'm not going to love the anime as much anymore, because I know they'll be skipping over a lot. Either way, I don't know how long I can live like this! I'm obsessed with this story and all of the characters, and it's all I've been thinking about since I started reading it. There's also a small part of me that's wondering how fast I can learn to read Japanese so I can keep reading, though I know that's juuuuust a bit unrealistic 😅

I tried reading the light novel for an anime I really liked - The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent, but I got so frustrated by how fast-paced everything seemed to be moving. I'm so used to reading about all of the daily details and minutia like in Bookworm that I just couldn't get used to it. So I'm putting it on hold for now, and am currently working on Tearmoon Empire. Maybe when I've read other stuff and Bookworm isn't so fresh in my mind, then I can try reading Saint's Magic Power again. I have a few other light novel series on my list that I can't wait to try also. Those would be:

Spice and Wolf

The Apothecary Diaries

Campfire Cooking in Another World With My Absurd Skill

My Next Life as a Villainess

By The Grace of Gods

How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom

Cooking with Wild Game

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

The Faraway Paladin

Basically I am just desperately trying to find light novels that will scratch the same itch that Bookworm gives me, although I should probably try not to compare too much or I'll end up getting disappointed. Anyway, this is a lot and clearly it's going to get expensive very fast. I'm prioritizing books I can checkout at the library, so at least that will help a lot

On the bright side too, I'm finding a lot of anime that I'm really interested in. I had the flu all weekend so I've just been sick in bed reading and watching anime. I'm also off today and tomorrow so I can actually recover properly and have a vacation like I was meant to (I was supposed to have a four day weekend but was sick for 3 days of it lol). Anyway... maybe I'll make a separate post about the anime I'm watching because this post is getting really long.

#.txt

[krissyisstudying]

My Notion Tutorial

Helloo, lovelies

I have not been doing much at all since my last update as it's been lockdown so I can't go out anywhere and I don't have much school work to do.

So. I have decided to give you all a quick look at my Notion. I created my account a few days ago and have been spending a lot of time working on making it look how I want. There are some personal pages that I won't be sharing but I will post screenshots and descriptions of a few of my pages.

This is my front page. I have links to most of the pages I've created on here. As you can see, it is organised in categories to help me navigate or so I can instruct others who are trying to find a page if they are ever on my account.

Clicking on "Reading List" from my Personal Home under "Daily" will open this page. It has books, movies, tv shows, and documentaries I want to read/watch as well as a status that I can change if I begin reading or watching something on my list.

Clicking on "Things I Want To Learn" from my Personal Home under "Life" opens this page. This is just a list of things I want to research in my spare time that I have come across. Once I have researched the topic, I will either link to a sub-page, Google Docs, or the website that all the information is in.

Clicking on "Time Management" from my Personal Home under "School" opens this page. The text on the left-hand side leads to further pages which I will show under this. The text on the right-hand side link to a YouTube playlist I made and a Spotify playlist I listen to when I'm doing my work. It's mostly Lofi.

This is what my time management for school looks like. This is my plan for my current History assignment. The dates on the left indicate the date I want the task completed by, the text in the middle is the tasks, and the column on the right is where I check if it is done or not.

.The last page I want to show you all is my Stories page. This can't be reached from my Personal Home, but there is a menu that comes up when I hover my mouse in the top left area of the screen that can lead me to this page. As you can see here, I have a section for my creative writing and a section for fanfics that I want to go back to (I will definitely be adding to that list when I have time).

A lot of these pages were inspired by pages I've made on Evernote or in Google Docs. I moved them all to Notion as Docs has limited space and Evernote has a lot of subscription options that are taking over the site. Notion is looking like it is going to work well for me. The only small issue I have encountered in the last few days is that there isn't an option to stay logged in so I have to log in every time.

I hope today has been good. If not, I hope tomorrow is better

Lots of Love, Krissyatschool

#studyblr #study #school #notion #study space #krissyatschool

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

I'm giving up podcasts to save my brain and soul from overload

In an era when there's so much information — so much content — that we can never, ever be bored, I've come to a breaking point: I'm giving up podcasts.

My brain is melted from an onslaught of news and takes. I've come to realize that I'm overwhelmed and the only way to catch my breath is to cut something out. So I've cracked open my podcast app for the last time for the foreseeable future.

SEE ALSO: Spotify bets big on podcasts with acquisition of Gimlet and Anchor

That's not to say I'm giving up on listening to things on my commutes or my many, many walks with an overactive dog. There's more music available at my fingertips than I could ever hope to listen to, and I'm also taking up audiobooks as a way to help pass these cold, windy strolls through the Ohio winter. 

My farewell to podcasts didn't come easily. After all, they are extremely interesting and entertaining, like a personalized talk radio station that shuffles through topics that speaks directly to my soul. But the time has come to give my soul (and my mind) a break. I need to reclaim those hours and spend it doing something other than trying to stuff even more information into an already overpacked brain.

Information Overload

Here's the real problem: I could listen to podcasts, on double speed, for every waking minute of my week and still not come close to chipping away at the stack of all of the episodes piling up in my queue. It's the result of something good: my enthusiasm for so many things. But somewhere along the line it's taken a bad turn.

A huge part of the problem is that I've been trying to stay up on all the political news I can in a particularly volatile environment. I recently wrote for this very site about the political podcasts I listened, so there's always something in the queue. Everything from the analytical banter of the FiveThirtyEight politics podcast to the Associated Press's deeply reported "Ground Game." 

These feel like must-listens that kept me up-to-date on everything happening in the political world. And that's not including the new spate of daily news podcasts that break down everything that just happened, like the New York Times' popular "The Daily" podcast and the Washington Post's "Post Reports.

There's only so much I can really take in, though. And I'm definitely not alone. It's an extension of a wider problem that many of us have been dealing wit. Burnout over bad news has been an issue for years, but it's even more prevalent now given the volatility of the news cycle we're living through — climate change, North Korea, Trump, you name it. It's also fed by how we consume the news in a never-ending stream of TV, radio, digital video, social media, and, yes, podcasts. 

There's so much input that if you don't adjust, you just might drown in the tidal wave of information. As  someone who lives and writes on the internet all day, it's something I'm hyper aware of and — at least for me — one of the easiest ways to alleviate some of the flow is to, well, cut out the podcasts.

Podcast overload has been an issue people have explored, especially as podcasts have become more popular. In August 2017, The Ringer looked at why listening to your podcasts on hyper-speed (like, ahem, I do) doesn't really help. And in October 2017, Sirena Bergman of The Cut explored the pros and cons of cramming all these podcasts into your head in any given week. 

None of the suggestions I've found for finding balance have worked for me. I've tried to listen to many podcasts on double-speed and fewer podcasts on regular speed and neither has offered the solution I'm searching for. Even cutting back a significant amount hasn't done the trick: I just keep going back for more. So I decided that the best thing for me is to simply quit cold turkey.

Not Necessarily the News

News and politics aren't the only thingsI've been piping through my earbuds. I've been a huge fan of music podcasts for years now, specifically for my favorite jam bands: the Grateful Dead-focused "Brokedown Podcast" and three Phish-related podcasts. Throw in "Pod Dylan," which analyzes a different Bob Dylan song every episode, and I've got hours of great material every week.

You can also add to the pile the countless sports podcasts I'm subscribed to. There are the three different Chicago Cubs podcasts and then there a half-dozen other baseball podcasts. On top of that there's the odd football podcast like the "(New Orleans) Saints Happy Hour Podcast," and then the ESPN "30 for 30" podcast series. Put it all together and you've got a stack of podcasts that piles up like back issues of the New Yorker.

That's another problem: These podcasts are supposed to be informative, but they're also supposed to be fun. Hearing hosts blow off steam about, say, a terrible Super Bowl-altering no call or a deep analysis of a terrific run of Phish shows is meant to help reduce the stress that builds up in my brain from everything else. 

Instead, seeing the episodes pile up and knowing I'm never going to get to them only ups the pressure in my head. And how many more sponsored messages can I really listen to before I break down and get my own meal kit subscription?

I'm surprised no one thanked Boll & Branch, Me Undies or Casper Mattresses this #Oscars Then, again, perhaps I listen to one too many podcasts.

— GettingCookedWithCraig (@GettingCooked) February 25, 2019

I want to stay informed. I want to hear the latest analysis of up-and-coming baseball prospects or what, exactly, an obscure Bob Dylan B-side means, because it genuinely interests me. But even when I made myself stop listening to every episode and got more picky, listening only to the episodes I really wanted to check out, the stress didn't really subside.

At a certain point, the anxiety of missing out on something, anything, became greater than the excitement of listening to a new episode of any podcast. Every episode I skipped could be a golden nugget I'd never hear. Was there a terrific anecdote about Phish's latest Madison Square Garden run or a life-changing revelation about a 1972 Dead show in one of the episodes I missed? 

This overpowering fear of missing out (FOMO) became my biggest hurdle to both listening to and ultimately giving up podcasts.  

Fighting FOMO

I want to keep up. In an age where information moves impossibly fast, I want to be on that leading edge. Plus there's also the not-insignificant fear of being left out of the cultural conversation. 

A few years ago, I was able to keep up with the "Serial" zeitgeist, devouring every episode as soon as it dropped. In 2019, there are so many of these podcasts that I can't possibly keep track. "S-Town"? I fell off after several episodes and never caught back up. Same with "Dirty John" and "Slow Burn."

But I agonized over it, still downloading the episodes and telling myself that, yes, tomorrow was TOTALLY the day I'd dive in and catch up to what everyone was talking about on Twitter.

What peer-induced FOMO podcast should I be listening to?

— Derek Hiebert (@derekhiebert) February 19, 2019

The more these episodes piled up, the more stressed I became. But there just aren't enough hours in the day. And the truth is that I've got a pretty bad memory. I've probably forgotten more of the fascinating anecdotes and revelations I've been seeking than I've remembered. So what am I really missing in the end?

I'm find leaving one Stone unturned

There comes a breaking point for everyone, and I finally reached mine not long after the new year, when the lighter load of the holidays fell away and the news cycle cranked up again. When Roger Stone was finally indicted as part of the Mueller investigation, the exhaustion hit me just as the news cycle exploded, including a barrage of "emergency podcasts" on the topic.

In the days that followed, I watched the deluge of reactionary podcasts roll in, but I found the urge to click "play" was fading. Between the news I was already gleaning from social media and stories I read, that fear of missing something wasn't nearly as strong as it had been before. 

Maybe it was Trump overload, maybe it was something about Stone himself — a truly repulsive charlatan — that turned me off. Either way, as the days ticked by, I didn't feel that same pull to learn more. The hold was broken, and it was easier to let other podcasts keep slipping by until I realized I wasn't really missing anything at all. 

So long, happy trails

When I mentioned my podcast sabbatical to a friend, they asked why I was going cold turkey instead of, say, just cutting back? I get that it seems extreme but it's a mix of two things: the need to give my brain full break each day and the hope of a fresh start. 

And I plan to stick to it. I've already mowed through a few audiobooks and have downloaded another half-dozen from my local library and have no desire to give up the calmer, more cohesive experience of listening to these books for a return to chaotic world of podcasts. 

Will something ever happen to draw me back? Maybe. If and when the Mueller Report finally drops, I can see dipping a toe back into the pool for an episode or two of analysis. Same goes for some sort of major move by one of my sports teams. (Say, the Cubs suddenly signing free agent star Bryce Harper.) 

SEE ALSO: Podcasts were my friends when I had none

But, for now, I'm done. Maybe getting my brain smoothed back out over the coming months will put me in a better place to come back to a slimmed down input of podcasts in time for, say, the 2020 presidential election. 

Even then, I'll need to wade slowly into the shallow end. If I do come back, I know I'll feel a lot better about managing the overload and being picky, making sure that what I choose to take in will be truly beneficial for me and something I can truly value. FOMO, be damned.

WATCH: Will Ferrell brings back Ron Burgundy for iHeartRadio podcast

#_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_author:Marcus Gilmer #_uuid:16185a0c-a8a7-3bfe-a806-7d06b807c2ed #_revsp:news.mashable