#I'm having the time of my fucking LIFE

[robinmage]

#this shit is my bread and fucking butter #I'm having so much fun you have no idea #just finished the 7th light novel....... four more to go..... #so far it's been like. 5% romance. 25% medical malpractice. and 70% fantasy politics #I'm having the time of my fucking LIFE #sorry I haven't been posting mahoyome much I've spent literally all of my waking free hours this past week reading/watching #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto

[radiosummons]

Me, whenever someone brings up Mass Effect:

#mass effect #garrus vakarian #garrus my beloved #mass effect garrus #he's my husband #your honor #it's my man #i can't not want to be with him #there's no shepard without vakarian #lol yeah i finally started playing mass effect #after over a year of watching #my sister play through the legendary edition #i'm having the time of my fucking life

[danthropologie]

so who’s making the max vs checo ‘bad blood’ fancam edit

#this alone makes merc double brit podium worth it #i'm having the time of my fucking life #max #checo #brazil22 #m:text

[aza-trash-can]

Oh my god in the activity section you can choose to boop back

Oh my god this is beautiful

#aza's trash #i'm having the time of my fucking life

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[thebibliosphere]

A friend gifted me Gotham Knights on Steam after I expressed a vague interest in it. I believe my exact words were, "The color of the cover art is very cyberpunk bisexual, and I love that for them."

A lot of key smashing ensued, followed by, "No, wait, you have to play it, you have to. Don't ask why. You'll know when you see it."

After spending a substantial few hours with my new dopamine generator, zipping around Gotham as various different heroes, grappling my way across the skyline, and driving my motorbike into walls (sorry, random Gothamites.) I got to the part of the story where Dick Grayson is seen drinking from a bisexual-themed Bludhaven mug (WE WANTS IT, PRECIOUS, WE NEEDS IT), followed by Babs posting a gossip article in the literal batfam group chat (I have no idea when she actually sent it, I keep forgetting to check the chat lmao) where Dick fully leans into being Bruce's son by being the biggest, sluttiest fuckboy imaginable when the male interviewer asks Dick if he has a "type" then describes the way Dick drops his voice to an "intimate purr, his gaze for me and me alone" followed by the most bisexual response ever which can be summarized as "People are gorgeous. All of them. Why restrict myself to an archetype when the world is full of beauty?"

And can I just say, as a slutty, slutty bisexual *chef kiss* love that for him. That and all the nude photoshoot offers he seems to be getting lmao.

Combine that with the interactions where Tim talks to the batfam about his boyfriend, asking for relationship advice (Babs telling Tim she's hopeless with guys, so to ask Dick instead), Dick suggesting Robin and Nightwing should go to Gotham Pride in costume so people know the batman are firmly in camp LGBTQ+ (followed up by an email between Babs and Jayson where they talk about wanting to go to Pride to support Tim so he'll know they're proud of him), the rainbow flags in the living room, and the trans, bi, pan and I think non-binary flag (need to check, might be demisexual) bike color options, I can honestly say I'm having a lot of fun careering round Gotham like the most terrifyingly competent, backflipping, Solo Pride Parade that's ever swung out of the skyline to dropkick a cop into oncoming traffic.

#batfam #gotham knights #gotham knights game #this game is like playing crackfic #crackfic with the occasional bit of pure soul-destroying angst #it's quite clunky and a bit grindy #but as a character-driven gremlin I'm having the time of my life just fucking around and falling off buildings

[andthebeanstalk]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

#original #the last unicorn #tlu #peter s beagle #molly gru #schmendrick #schmendrick the magician #two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first! #my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped! #no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different. #to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life! #but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol #because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb #the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!! #my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘 #i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful. #and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE #mostly zoro's blades from One Piece #normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and #then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU #and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele

[historicity-was-already-taken]

wisdom i've accumulated in my almost-35 years on this planet: success = hard work + privilege + luck

never let this late capitalist hustle culture bullshit convince you that your lack of "success" is your fault.

#i work very fucking hard #i also have parents who are able to provide me with a thickass safety net #if i didn't have that safety net my life would be VERY different #and for all my hard work #it's very unlikely that i'd have achieved this stuff wrt my book #i'm DEEPLY grateful and i know they're proud of me and are happy to do it #but just bitchslap me if you ever catch me saying that it's all hard work and time management #and all that kim kardashian bullshit #I love what this post has become

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Natsu: I haven't really known what I've been doing since I was like 15, but I don't think it's too obvious Lucy: It is. It is extremely obvious.

#natsu dragneel #natsu continues to be a mood #i'm in law school. like i am a full adult. i pay rent and feed myself. i have no fucking clue what's going on this is a cry for help /lh #he just like me fr #but we knew that. he's actually why my hair is pink. it's all the fault of one sunshine boy with a million dollar smile and the power of fr #endship. he's why i'm getting my degree and why i've planned my wedding and he's why every blessing in my life is mine #sorry got sentimental there hsdbfuwefwegf that's all a story - a very teary eyed story - for another time #lucy heartfilia #nalu #fairy tail #fairy tail incorrect quotes #incorrect fairy tail quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect quote #anime #manga

[ghouljams]

I KNOW WHAT THAT „Ov-„ IN THE TAGS MEAN

GHOUL

GHOUL PLEEEAAASSSEEEE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Yeah 4 asks is enough to pressure me into being a freak, but y'all should not be encouraging my depravity. The shame I feel, so I'm keeping this tamer than- no actually I'm gonna be a freak about this. Once again I am not going to heaven.

You're filled with hot, viscous, come as you orgasm on Threat's cock. The warmth of it seeps into you, tingles through your muscles, and makes your head spin. Your eyes roll, your back arches, you feel like you've been pushed to the edge again with no idea how you got there.

Threat sighs over you, their head dropping against their chest as they rock their hard cock into your pussy. They're muttering something, mumbling to themselves like they didn't just come in you. Their cock twitches, and they give a hard jerking thrust into you, bumping that aching soft spot deep inside you. There's a sharp tight feeling, something giving way to them, and you whimper, clawing at their shoulders for purchase as they keep pushing into you. You're just starting to blink the tears out of your eyes when their hand settles around your throat, their claws tearing into the sheets under you. They give a testing thrust and you grab their wrist.

Their cock drags against something entirely alien to you, hot and painful but somehow numb and tingling. You feel something thick against your entrance when they pull back, never leaving you clenching cunt. It bumps against you, stretching your hole, just a little more with each grind of Threat's cock. You try to breathe through it but that strange aching warmth won't let you do more than gasp. The bump pops into your pussy and you almost come right there, feeling it nestle against your g-spot and just press, press, press. The tightness of it zips through you, twisting the knot in your stomach as you feel it moving against your gummy walls.

You moan and Threat chuckles over you, grinds their cock against you again so you feel a second bump nudging your entrance. You whine, you can't get your brain to spark with anything but pleasure. You don't know what's happening, don't know if you want to, but you know you want more of it. Threat's teeth are sharp and dripping when you look up at them, their tongue darts out to drag along their lip before they smile, cooing down at you, "Feel good?" You nod, pout when their grip on your neck tightens, as if you'd go anywhere. "Eggs slut," They lean closer, lick their tongue against yours as you pant, feeling the next bump pop inside, "you're always begging us to breed you, so I'm going to fill you full."

Eggs. Your breath hitches, your cunt already stretched around two of them with a third attempting to make room for itself. Threat hums, pityingly, as your brows draw together, your cunt clenching around the eggs the seem perfectly suited to rub against every sensitive nook in your pussy. You jolt as the first one presses against that stinging, achy, spot, and you feel more come release into you, making your stomach tingle before a soft weight settles in you. You can't help the moan that slips past your lips, the soft succor of panic drowned by pleasure. Eggs, plural. The understanding alone makes you come, the egg already settled in your womb just adds to the shaking desperation of it.

Threat holds you down with a firm hand on your neck, hooks their other arm under your knee and holds it up to thrust into you, forcing the third egg in alongside its sibling. Christ. You sob, shivering and shaking with each roll of it against your sweet spot. There's no need to tug on your tethers to make you ride out your orgasm a second time, not with the way Threat's eggs drag against your poor cunt.

You get through two more squirting orgasms on four more eggs, each one sliding into your abused cunt easier than the last. You shudder at each added weight in your stomach. It's not much, but it's noticeable, and your stomach clenches, your cunt fluttering with excitement at each one added to the clutch. Fuck, you- shit- your eyes roll back as the last one slips into you with another burst of that warm fluid. Goosebumps rush over your skin, and Threat's hand leaves your throat to tease their claws against your clit.

You swallow, your hips bucking to follow the rub of their fingers as the claws melt into something a little softer. You tilt your head forwards to look at yourself. Your stomach is bigger, not by much, but enough for you to notice. You can almost feel your partner smiling over you, they're certainly quick to pull you up to settle on your knees, the shift in your posture also shifting the eggs cradled inside you. You moan at the feeling, your breath hitching as you look at your full tummy.

"Look at that," Threat's hand rubs over your stomach, "they'll feel even better coming out, granted we keep Soap away from you." You meet their gaze with a look of confusion, and their smile turns mirthful. "Wouldn't want him to fertilize the clutch, and keep us from doing this again, would we?"

#threat is a spider and I am both gay and a monster fucker #I cannot be saved from the fires of hell #but I can make the list of reasons I'm going there longer #ok kink tag time #aphrodisiac #ovipositor #eggs #cervix penetration #dub con #monster fucker #egg laying #x reader #x oc #oc x oc #oc x oc ship #oc: threat #oc: crybaby #f!oc #f!reader #fae au #let's all be really cool about my depraved kink #I have never wanted to be fucked by threat so back in my fucking LIFE

[mattodore]

i circle around you, a wild animal near a fire

#me roughly an hour after saying i’m not going back into photoshop today: opens photoshop #jerma going no chat come on i'm not gonna do that . and then doing that #river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #THEY ARE SOOOOOOO BUNNY AND WOLF HERE LIKE THEY NEED LITTLE EARS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ #IF I COULD DRAW WELL….. KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM SOME!!! #also if you’re thinking uhhhh river are they… you know…? 😁 they are <3 this is easily my favorite ww animation bc of this exact part #moving past that i edited these with esther in mind bc theo with long hair is kind of tearing my life apart atm too... #and i think i actually really love drawing hair strands now. all it took was giving theo long hair and i'm just. obsessed. #yeah they take me like thirty fucking minutes and i’m screaming and biting my own hands the whole time but . #doesn’t theo look good :) #and... lmao. i could’ve edited the screenshot of matthias where he’s looking directly at theo #but i like the !! sudden jolt when you go to the next screenshot and it looks like he’s staring straight at you 🫵 #it’s like he’s saying close your fucking eyes 🫵🫵🫵 #......i finished this edit at 12pm but it's just been sitting in my drafts this whole time while i try to come up with a caption dfjknkhn #i'm giving in and just using a matthias core quote for it

[h0estar]

Yukine's journey toward acceptance of the life that was robbed of him, this time with finality, exemplifies the emotional and beautifully rendered arc that has defined his character.

Yukine finally accepting the reality of his death. Yukine stepping out from the fridge that contained memories of what was once his life. Yukine freeing himself from the shackles of his trauma. Yukine running to protect the person who cherished him the most in the world. Yukine standing up to an abusive father. Yukine wholeheartedly apologizing. Yukine's growth, and Yato tearing up as he stretches his little arms to pull him for an embrace.

Yukine's gratitude for what Yato did for him is evident throughout the series. He was given a name more precious than any other. He was treated like a human--an ordinary teenage boy. And life after that was one exciting journey after another. Now, Yukine can no longer be entirely consumed by the horrors of his past because he knows that his reality with Yato is so much brighter. Far brighter.

Yukine could break out from that refrigerator because of the true, sincere, and nurturing love shown by the only father figure in his life. Yato has said multiple times throughout the series that Yukine was his priority above all else, and Yukine was the only person he swore to protect the most. Hell, he even went straight to hug him after Yukine apologized for turning into that form! Yato did not need to summon Yukine. Yukine came to protect Yato on his own decision. As he always did.

The journey to their healing will be painful, and this chapter shows that Yato and Yukine will face it together. No more secrets and no more miscommunications. They will help and be by each other's side as they always have, not only as god and shinki but, this time, as family.

"I will not let him die. Not Yato. No matter what happens... I swear I won't let anyone take him from me!" -Yukine, Noragami Vol. 17 Chapter 67.

#noragami manga #noragami 104.2 #ah yes i've finally calmed down #i am still however sad as fuck but at the same time relieved #my boys have reconciled and i look forward to the yato and yukine duo once again :') #i was rereading my fave chapters and i missed seeing them in battle TOGETHER #hopefully we get that next chapter when they completely annihilate father <3 #i love them so much and i love this series sm #i will never shut up abt them man. their father and son dynamic is one of the best and i will stand by this till the day i die #i remember a post i made abt hoping yukine's life w yato will outweigh the grief of his past #and it did :'))))) it really did. yukine realized that himself and now he is back with yato #he is back by yato's side. the place where he rightfully belongs #i'm so emotional rn holy shit i've had this chapter dominate my head for the whole day today #anw WAR IS OVER LADIES Yukine has come back home 😭🫶 #noragami #noragami spoilers #yukine #yato #mine

[just-somedude]

.

#I had to go to a high school friend's funeral a couple weeks ago #the guy was like an older brother to me #he was only 23 #I spent an hour alone in a room with his coffin just crying #wishing I had gotten to spend more time with him #Now because of that #I'm making sure to live my life exactly how I want to #I've had people tell me to “do the smart thing” and build a career #travel in short spurts etc #fuck that #I want to be the unemployed friend in all those memes #the guy who you don't hear from until you get a video from a glacial lake in the middle of the wilderness #and then a week later a picture from atop a mountain #I want to do cool shit #I want to have DAD LORE #stories to tell #people to tell them #mid life crisis at 22 is crazy but FUCK IT WE BALL #anyways my rambling is over if you're still reading this I'll give you a smooch

[danthropologie]

maybe this is all part of daniels plan 🧐 he sees nyck has tried out half the grid this year and had like that private alpine test and I think the alpine they used for that might’ve been from when daniel was at renault, so he gets lando sick so nyck drives this years mclaren as well and then he compares notes so he can make his decisions on reserve next year and 2024?

if daniel ricciardo is out here intentionally giving his teammate food poisoning so that he compare notes and incorporate that into his plans for the future, he'd have not only the biggest cock in the paddock, but the biggest brain as well.

and just saying, but maybe we need to consider that this may have been going on for a lot longer than any of us might have even guessed! maybe daniel himself was instrumental in helping nyck get that alpha tauri seat in the first place. he Knows People. he can make calls, he can pull strings, he can put in good words. and at the end of the day, if nyck's info tells him that none of these other options are likely to be the right fight, he can always pull those strings for himself too

#we are truly weaving a TAPESTRY of events today #i'm having the time of my fucking life #dan #nyck de vries #silly season22 #brazil22 #answered #anonymous #rbr v merc: daniel edition

[alaynestcnes]

Jon Snow and Sansa Stark in Art

Prince Ivan on the Grey Wolf / Viktor Vasnetsov A Foster Mother / Charles Sillem Lidderdale Portrait of a Young Woman (detail) / Pierre-Auguste Cot King Arthur (detail) / Charles Ernest Butler Portrait of a Young Girl / Konstantin Yegorovich Makovsky Dante and Beatrice in the Garden / Cesare Saccaggi

#jonsa #i have a billion things to do for uni atm so u knowwww i'm fucking around with my jonsa bullshit #my brain literally gets obsessed with making random shit whenever i have actual work to do that will impact my life #the art for jon being a girl bc he’s too pretty. definitely not bc i found the pic first and then reverse image searched to find the info #and by that time the edit was already done and idgaf #art #sansa stark art #jon snow art

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''