#I'm not in the headspace to do anything at all

[moonspirit]

what do u think the alliances favourite form of media is? (books, poetry, music, movies etc.) now that they’re able to freely enjoy such things

Hiya!

Oh well xD I have some strong opinions on this one.

For Armin, his fascination with books will not cease, obviously, and good for him if he finds a library he can spend all day cooped up in, reading about wonderful new things. But also, I like thinking that he's gonna enjoy music a lot. Once he gets his hands on some records, and the Alliance hauls a gramophone into their house, he's going to really become a music enthusiast. I see him bonding with Pieck over their mutual love for good music.

(also. Once he discovers a new machine or contraption or invention, it's over for everyone.)

Annie - well @aquietjune introduced the image of Annie being a movies lover, and it's been stuck in my head ever since xD It's just adorable to think she enjoys going to watch the moving pictures and can spend any amount of time there. But aside from this, while I think she's not much of a book person, I like the idea of her enjoying crossword puzzles a lot. She'd like to have something to keep her mind busy and they're good for that. Ofc, this means Armin and her can have dining table dates where he's reading a book and she's doing a puzzle and he helps her with words when they're being particularly difficult.

Jean - XD oh god. I imagine this guy likes activities that exude an air of elegance and class. This could be painting, or an interest in fine art, and poetry, museums, art galleries, the like. I think he'd also enjoy the movies and maybe he and Annie could go together for a few (tho she's not having any of his intellectual put-on opinions on them).

Pieck - she's gonna be a plant lady 100%. There will be so many plants in her room and in the house that a giant leaf is smacking everyone in the face wherever they go. I just think she's going to find some comfort raising baby plants especially if we consider that she's the only real "odd one out" in the Alliance. She's lost everyone she knew and loved and is a newcomer among the others. But! There's also the music! She's got good taste in music and I imagine she's going to find some closeness with Armin in this interest.

As for Connie and Reiner. See, I really think they'd enjoy festivals and carnivals and board games and shooting games haha xD Not that any of the others would enjoy them less, but they're the first to make a beeline if there's something going on somewhere. Reiner canonically enjoys playing chess too (if I'm remembering right, he used to play a lot with Armin during their cadet years). Connie would enjoy mimicry and jesting shows(?) a lot (plenty to laugh at) and I think Reiner would also enjoy romance novels a lot and get too involved in the drama. I just like making fun of him a lot sorry

Not related to media but I think taking care of pets would help them all, but Reiner in specific. Not going into details here cuz that is another tangent, but for someone with so many suicidal thoughts and ideations, finding joy in bonding with a dog or cat or any animal really, would be good for him.

Falco and Gabi? - they probably love everything! Though Gabi is too restless to sit in one place for anything too long lol. Falco would probably get great book recs from Armin.

Levi - leave the man alone in peace, he's got a tea shop. (But I also hc that he likes the radio a lot)

Mikasa? - I think she'd also like radio broadcasts a lot, and going to plays. I have a very hard time getting into her headspace 🥲

#ask #behyuu #attack on titan #headcanon #alliance #armin arlert #annie leonhart #jean kirstein #pieck finger #f #reiner braun #connie springer #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #gabi braun #falco grice

[theold-ultraviolence]

.

#I'll be out here dealing with a lot of heavy family stuff and feeling so sad I don't know how to get through it all #and I'm expected to write these stupid reports for my masters homework like #if I ever have to write another damn report about Diego Rivera's art it will be too soon #I'm so sick of it #and it's the last thing I'd like to be doing right now #I'm not in the headspace to do anything at all

[encrucijada]

i need to talk about speak, prophecy more

#or at all lol i don't think i've said anything concrete about this wip #aside from having it up as a current project for like a month and doing nothing with it #i'm once again in that headspace where idk what i wanna be writing #i lost the groove with haze dogs i gotta get back into it again i really want to finish chap1 #but i also want to write like 25+ other things including fanfic #i want to be done with this one scene with part 2 of pointed north #then start poking at the reunion scene i have been neglecting and finally work my way back to part 3 👁 #but yeah. SPEAK PROPHECY #pia.txt

[icezansky]

my brain feels like mush

#i just wanted to spend the day writing before my shift but i'm second guessing everything and can't commit to a single fic #like i want to finish grieving but i'm in such a bad headspace about it #but i also feel bad working on anything else when that should be my priority since it's already published 4/5 chaps #and i don't want to keep the five people who actually care about it waiting #and then i have one chapter of a new fic ready to publish but i don't want to start that either #and then sugar daddy!ice is like 1/2 finished for ch 1 but . i can't find the energy to work on it #and to top it all off i'm running an orientation at work today #which i've never done and have gotten no instruction for #and i have a terrible feeling that the people who were supposed to do things to get it ready for me absolutely dropped the ball #AND it's presidents day so all of HR is ooo so . pretty positive i can't even do half of what i need to do with these newhires #so i woke up at 3am stressing about that #SEE!!! MUSH BRAIN!! #katie text

[blujayonthewing]

'my mental health's been a lot better for awhile now, maybe I could start taking commissions again' vs 'would taking commissions just ruin my mental health again after it took this long to get it somewhere that feels reasonably healthy'

#I DON'T KNOW! I'M NOT SURE!!! #I haven't been drawing much at all lately so that's also a factor in the 'don't' column lol but aside from that #it's frustrating. it's so frustrating! #in theory the concept of 'you don't even have to be creative! someone else does the thinking and you just sit and make art and get money' #is like. IDEAL?? most of the commissions I've done have been really fun and rewarding to work on! #but ALSO!! every SINGLE time I've done a commission of anything for anyone my brain has eaten itself about it #I don't have discipline to do it in a timely manner and then I start feeling guilty so I go into a guilt avoidance spiral #and it's always been for friends so I ALSO feel like I'm FAILING MY FRIEND and there's also MONEY so I'm also GUILTY ABOUT THE MONEY #and everyone I've ever worked with has been so gracious and so kind to me in spite of all of that #but also most of the time I was actively seeking commissions I've been Mental Illness-- I mean at least a little more than my baseline #so I don't know. if I'm starting with a stable foundation... could I get my headspace right first.... I don't know :') #about me

[bardkin]

feeling like you're "not disabled enough" to quit your job or at least ask for accommodations fuckin' sucks

#venty tags because i'm angry and tired of my fuckin' job. ya'll are free to skip this one if you're not in the right headspace <3 #my fuckin' rsd just really got to me today. #your muscles hurt and ache & they hurt enough to be noticeable more often than not. #you expect them to Stop Fucking Hurting SIX MONTHS into having A Job and they seem to have only gotten worse. #but they don't hurt bad ''enough'' to keep you bed ridden. #you get frequent enough headaches but none that are on the level of full on migraines. #they're enough to make you feel like shit but they don't make you physically ill. #so you go in anyway - even though taking pain meds does fuck all for any of it 90% of the time. #your brain fog is Bad but you can force yourself to snap out of it long enough to get a requested task done. #you're barely able to remember how to do multi-step shit that gets done Every Fuckin' Day and thus should be seared into your brain by now. #you're demotivated and depressed but you know none of your coworkers will Get It & you go in anyway - #so you almost have a breakdown at the end of each month but you smother it until you finally get home that day. #you're always exhausted no matter how much or little you sleep or how long or short your work day Actually is - #and every day is a fuckin' slog that only gets worse the later in the week it is. #& if you say anything about how much you hurt or how tired you are... #it's either brushed off or becomes an open invitation to infantilize and/or ''jokingly bully'' you. #you get told to ''toughen up'' or ''get better sleep'' and that ''you can do it.'' #ugh. fuck. #i'm in a bit of an ''extremely fucked'' situation bc my work isn't corporate. it's incredibly close-knit & family run. #small business as hell being a service dog training thing. #granted - my boss is disabled / chronically ill so she May understand if i ever say anything. #but my fuckin' coworkers are Glaringly able-bodied & neurotypical. and they're the ones who do most of the ribbing. all of the ribbing. #it's not constant but it's consistent enough that my rsd has me somewhat convinced that most of my coworkers are probably sick of me. #i frequently have intrusive imagined scenarios where i get fired & at least one person says ''good riddance'' or something like that. #i'm a scrawny depressed queer who's only kind of good at sweeping up. #and i can barely do that these days without having to sit down every handful of minutes. #it's just kind of all around fucked rn. #i can't wait to get out of here.

[wrecking]

expired white cheddar popcorn, my only solace rn.

edit: oh fuck i didn't mean to post this yet i wanted to like. space this out from my last post? sorry in advance i guess

#d #putting this one at the top -- jesus christ this got long sorry #you know this shit is bad when i. who has never drank in my fucking life. was considering just getting as wasted as possible #like so i could just not be here on the 17th lmfao #i'm not gonna do it because it'd be the worst possible thing i can do but like. was the thought there? yeah #i've been in a weird headspace since midnight on the 15th hit and tbh it was predictable #thankfully my mom cancelled my electrolysis appointment so i am just going to lose these 3 days to more or less nothingness #like just bouncing between reading stupid reddit threads and watching media and reading ...things... just to make me feel smth that isn't t #this* i'm not retyping that #like just not giving a single fuck about the ''time wasted'' or whatever the fuck cuz at this point this is the best i can do #like i've been unproductive all summer but right now i can barely stand to do anything that isn't escapism or direct sensory input or both #i'm honestly handling it better than i expected cuz like i'm at least not CONSTANTLY bawling my fucking eyes out or unable to get out of be #but like i also feel like any attempts to do more than just survive right now are futile #friday will come and i'll get my hair dyed and on saturday i'll get new clothes and then that person will finally be gone enough #''dozer'' is dead. literally and figuratively.

[imwritesometimes]

anxiety level this month has been high overall but goddamn I am fighting for my life today

#I'm sitting at my computer trying not to vomit and cry which is sadly a common headspace for me but #today it's bad. bad bad bad nothing *I* can do to fix it just gotta wait and find out like #wtf is going on. cause I sure don't know and no one is giving me anything to work with so !!!! #this whole month is just a shit fuck stack and I'm mentally fried man I wanna lie down in bed for 3 days #life's not supposed to be like this. you aren't supposed to have to endure this much shit in one lifetime man #erin explains it all #delete later

[the-acid-pear]

Mental health is so complex I wish everything was easy and peaceful and easily classifiable. I wish everything wasn't a problem.

#luly talks #timmy turner sounding ass ik #but like Man. I Might Have OCD (Just As My Therapist Said) #i come to this realization once a month for those out of the loop btw #like my symptoms aren't as frequent as the textbooks might make it sound OR PERHAPS YES #PERHAPS THEY ARE AND I LITERALLY CANT IDENTIFY EM BC THEY'RE JUST A SOLID PART OF WHO I AM #JUST LIKE I USED TO LIVE W NAUSEA MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ARE SO RECURRENT I DONT REALIZE THERE'S A LIFE WITHOUT THAT STRUGGLE #AND I BE LIKE LOL I'M NOT GUILTY OR SHAMEFUL BUT I AM!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING AMMMM #MAYBE NOT HERE ON TUMBLR BUT IN MY HEAD IN MY HEADSPACE IM ALWAYS HIDING LIKE A DYING CAT AFRAID OF EVERYTHING #AFRAID OF WHAT I MIGHT THINK AFRAID OF WHAT I MIGHT DO HIDING AWAY FROM IT ALL #WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE GREAT PART OF MY MENTAL STABILITY COMES FROM WHITHIN MY BRAIN FROM THE FAKE SCENARIOS THAT GIVE ME COMFORT #BUT I CANNOT DO ANYTHING IF IM TOO SCARED OF WHAT I MIGHT THINK OR WHAT THEY'D THINK OF ME OR AUAUAUGHFJTHG #BLOWS UP ONE MILLION TIMES ! ! ! +

[adore-gregor]

Heyy

#i'm back after disapearing from tumblr (again🥲) #so uni was stressful #but i passed all my tests so far (well one i'm still waiting for the results but i did so well on it i could hardly have failed it) #i even did well 😁 got a b on the first one and a c on the 2nd one (which i'm happy with because quite a few failed and many d's) #(for the one i'm still expecting i should have at least get a C or i might even get a B or an A) #so yay #but my mental heath is always getting worse when i'm studying anyone else 🥲 #like i do nothing else or feel like i can't do anything else often order food because i feel like i don't feel like i have time for cooking #and the anxiety i stress so much before the exam until the very moment i have it then i'm calm again😂 #like it's whatever i can't do anything more now anyway so i might just do this #i then talk myself up i'm gonna do great on it because i studied well #but it still got better compared to when i was younger i still cooked some meals i saw my best friend during exam week #i also stay positive most of the times because generally i'm a very positive person but sometimes the nerves get to me still #also i find these study tiktoks or tumblr pages so funny the studying part with the clean desk and morning routines life together 😅 #i feel like it's not realistic and putting so much pressure on you i kinda hate it #i mean you shouldn't give up on trying to be balanced and relaxed with studying but some amount if mess is normal i feel like #my desk always rather looks a mess when i study #but it's unnecessary pressure fr studying is not an aesthetic and it doesn't need to look like it #all that matters is that you pass your exam and staying in a positive headspace ig #anyway now it's over i'm happy and i have a life again after those 2 weeks #no tests until end of january #only the extra studying for the medicine entrance exam is still a lot🥲 #besides i really love playing tennis so much lately this sport is everything to me :)) #it helps my mental health so much it gives me so much motivation and makes me happy whenever i play #also my progress was so big this half year 🫶 more than over the course of the last years fr #i went from probably below average in my team to one of the good players #almost won a set against our best player it was close months ago i lost 2:6 i had no chance #everyone says i improved sm 🥹 and yeah this makes me proud bc i trained sm so i really earned it (also found a coach again) #and it's exciting bc i made it a challenge for myself of how far i can go and how fast i can improve #with quick improvement certainly a lot is possible and i love a good challenge 😄

[clericlost]

lately i’ve been feeling so much like. cheering clapping applause to be here with y’all but all the enthusiasm is stuck in a snowglobe that i can’t figure out how to break cause it’s made of fear pain agony because social anxiety every time i log on :/

#out. #negative // #it sucks to experience but honestly it sucks more than like. i know people are here to have fun and often write better when #they can actually get along w their writing partner? #and i hate that this Thing is just in the way of me and everyone else but idk how to get rid of it #it's just Paralyzing like i just get stuck and it feels impossible to shake myself out of it #and then i feel anxious about THAT lmao so. wondering if i need to just throw the towel in instead of doing this to my partners jdskfs #like i logically know it's not That big of a deal but i also know it can feel so discouraging to be excited abt smth and not feel it back #but it's not even the feeling it back that's the issue! it's just talking w people idk why my brain just flatlines over it but it's so bad #lately. when i'm in a good headspace i'm the exact same way and LOVE when i can iron down my interactions to ppl i just Enjoy being around #but when i'm in a bad headspace it's so hard to do anything other that hide in ic replies indefinteily #even with people i'm so so comfortable with cause it is very much a state of being that stems from Me not anyone else #idk. i just feel shitty for ghosting but then i feel too shitty to fix it :/ #wish i could psychically link w all of you so u could know how happy i am to write with you #idk why it's so hard to translate ooc one on one #idk why it's like there's an actual physical wall in my brain stopping me most of the time #social anxiety fucking sucks i guess lol #yeah....... killing it w my mind #i know it's probably just made worse by my recent caffiene addiction but it'll probably be a while before i can kick that shit so #idk if i should quit while i'm barely ahead or just. try to be okay with ic replies #but i Hate that cause it feels like such bad rp etiquette like. i don't wanna rp like that lol #but idk how else to while i'm like this :/ #which probably means i should take a break!! but i selfishly don't wanna lose more writing partners than i already have but then #i guess either way i might lose some people but at least if i took a break it'd feel like less shitty of a reason #ugh...... #too much to think about on a sunday afternoon

[depresseddepot]

his name is bodie

#in other related news: i took him to the vet and saw a cat years to human years sign and it said that a 6yo cat was abt 40 human years #and toby. my special guy. is 6 years old #ive been in a downward spiral ever since lol so im not trusting myself to make decisions abt whether or not we're keeping bodie #i don't think i have the time or headspace to spend as long as i did with toby on him but its a baby and im doing it a disservice if i dont #hes so lonely and sad and tiny but i am Comorbid and hate change so so so much #this poor baby #its past my bedtime so im sure ill feel 100% different in the morning #but im just. toby is getting older :( #i don't know what to do after he eventually passes away one day. like frankly i dont think ill be doing anything else for very long #ive loved pets before but. not as much as i love him :( #he could be starving and would run past food if i sat down to pet him #he sits and waits for me to get out of the shower upstairs (a place he's afraid of) #he knows what times i get home and wakes himself up from naps to wander upstairs to see me #he gets lost sometimes and meows until i talk to him so he knows how to get back to someplace safe #he's a HUGE cat but he's so gentle and sweet. he was even nice to the baby #not to be dramatic but i don't think I'll recover once he passed away. like i think that's it for me. #honest to god need to have my affairs in order come my mid thirties because. well. #he even comes over to lay w me when I'm crying :( #sorry abt all these tags #vent

[wawhii]

Some rambling in the tags

#Marlinisms #I think that like. Why I've never felt necessarily connected to the otherkin/therian communities is because my perception is different #That's going to go for everyone of course! But because I don't experience things like shifts or care for labels #I've always felt like it was the wrong place for me. Even when I discovered I was plural and entirely nonhuman. #It could be because I change forms at will (as everyone in this system does if they have several forms) #Or because it's just... inherent like it doesn't feel like a big realization #But I think those are the big reasons why it took me so long to understand; I'm alterhuman. I fit the definition. #I don't experience shifts or have a certain 'thing' I am or this or that or any other common experiences... #It's very much a self-perception and plurality thing where it just IS. #I honestly feel like the best way to explain it is like. #Someone who knows he's gay all his life. He knows he's into men #But all of a sudden he finds the LGBTQIA+ community exists and has a 'wait - do I qualify?' moment #Note: I am gay and have known this for most of my life #I'm tired so this might not make sense but yeah. #Part of why I don't care to announce it is because like... I feel like it's obvious? I'm a Magnamon. I present myself as a Magnamon. #I am a Magnamon in headspace I have Magnamon skills I was a Magnamon in source (I'm an introject and not the original!) #And now I have Garuda from Warframe as an alternate form even though I wasn't her in a past life or anything #I just feel like it's known xD

[neo-shitty]

spring day never latches on to a permanent face. it takes the form of the people i miss whom i have no way of reconnecting with. ever since i read that message in my inbox, it has taken the form of you, kesya.

#i read that the night before a big midterm examination and tbh i haven't had the headspace to deal with the weight of the emotions until now #tumblr deactivations always bore more weight bc it's permanent and ig thats why it hurt a lot more i'm heartbroken #i didn't realize until now how much your deactivation has wiped—every ask sent; every reblogged interacted with; your tags; your writing #i've looked up to you for a while haha long before i've bombarded your inbox with lengthy asks abt bsd; i loved your writing first #then your thoughts second and how well articulated you were and eventually your whole being; how you consumed content as a whole #whenever you loved something you loved it in full; every piece of media you enjoyed was passed on with such appreciation #it showed in the way you passionately talked abt things; bsd-86-eren-aot to name a few. i always loved talking to you. #you always reciprocated my energy #i'm sorry for never getting around to answering your last ask i've been so busy with life. and i'm also sorry for finding out too late. #i can't quite sum up all my feelings into these tags. i just miss you a lot and i don't know where these emotions should go #but i hope they find you somehow. i'm not really going anywhere so i hope you'll find me here when the time comes. #who am i going to talk to when bsd s6 (whenever that may be) comes out? 🙁🙁 #your presence is dearly missed kesya #i've received asks on your deactivation and have seen posts from your mutuals #for the past year since i've stopped writing here you've been the only thing i came for #i was always so curious to hear what you thought of the recent episodes or chapters. rest assured i'll love media the way you did. #just to carry on the bits and pieces i've absorbed from you somehow haha #i hope this finds you someday and you don't owe us an explanation or anything. pop into my asks if you do or just pm me directly. #i miss you. i'm sorry. i hope you're doing well wherever you are. #lots of love from a tumblr penpal-ish ahaha #love you!! #by-moonflower #kesya #kesya please find this T_T

[givtit]

i'm rotting on the inside actually

#like seriously #something is so wrong #was just listening to music like anyone normally would and i got So Incredibly Sad #and i wasn't even listening to a sad song i was literally listening to the gummy bear song #yk i could seek help #glory ma'am is Right there #i just don't know how to approach her tho lmao #like what do i say #hi ma'am i think there's something wrong with me because even tho i try to avoid feeling things as mcuh as i can #once i do there's no stopping me and my chest starts to Hurt from all the Sad #sometimes eating gets hard but if i don't eat my mother will literally go batshit insane over me and i don't want that #my dad asks me what's wrong at least once everyday and i never open up #what's there to open up about #how do i explain i cannot bring myself to do anything #and that nothing brings me joy #and even if it does it's j momentary #and the minute i stop doing the thing i get into a Bad headspace again #and so i'm always dpoing Something #im either watching something or talking to my friends to avoid my own brain #watched 10 movies and 2 seasons of a show since new year and it's been 14 days #my brother saw my letterboxd and was like wtf #sorry please don't read any of this #beloved 1 speaks

[somuchstrdst]

x

#the longer this strike continues #the less eager i am to go back to uni #but it's probably not going to last long #but i just #i'm so tired #this semester is not doing it for me i guess #now i'm behind stuff bc i didn't do anything i could've done with this time ~off~ #but my head is already anticipating the future when i'll start workiing more hours #and it's eating me up not knowing when that will be #so i'm just trying to soak up all the ~free~ time i have #because soon i'll have none #it's uuuuugh #i'm so frustrated #whenever i start to feel better something happens that drags me back to being in that awful headspace again #this year has been a fucking roller coaster #i just want my life to feel normal for once #personal x