#I've met a lot of cool artists and now I'm talking to them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

c00kietin · 4 months

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Since I probably won't be online as much tomorrow (December 25) for obvious reasons, I'll say this in advance and have it in queue for tomorrow.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL WHO READS THIS AND TO ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (ALSO HAVE A GREAT HANUKKAH IF YOU CELEBRATE IT!!)

I probably won't list off all of my followers (nothing personal, just takes too long for my little brain) but to the people that have interacted with me: (VERY LONG POST)

@godofautism / @godofautismnumber2 - you are one of my first followers, and even with how many followers you have, you still talk with me and I'm so grateful for that. You are an amazing, friendly and a very fun person, never forget it! <33

@ofthefrogs - YOU. ARE SO KIND!!!!!!!! your drawings are so sweet and wholesome and bring a smile to my face- you as a whole bring a smile to my face. As I'm writing this, it's also your birthday- so happy birthday! May both your birthday and Christmas be loads of fun! :D

@taperecorder-gizmo - my dear guardian. My parent. I think you already know how much I love you. That first time you drew me, with your sona holding an octobunny, I was ecstatic. I immediately showed my sister, and she can tell you I danced like a leprechaun. And even a more recent time, when you drew Roxie, that had me squealing like crazy! I could probably write a Bible-length book on how much I love ya and how much of an amazing person you are, but I have other mutuals to talk about. Thank you so much for your kindness and your incredible art skills, and I love you loads!

@trashyandtiredsol - you were one of the firsts to become "my biggest fan" (as in liking/reblogging a bunch of my stuff) and you still are! I love your art as well (I'm so lucky to be friends with so much artists!!!) and I am so grateful for every like and reblog you've done on my posts. Love you loads, and thank you so much for your kindness.

@allmightyscroll-swag - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/pos!!!! You helped me show my ocs to people other than my sister, and to be honest, now I love drawing them! Every response you make has me giddy with excitement and smiling like a madman. Know that you are amazing and kind like all of my moots and you are more than welcome to tag me in your art too if you want to! <<33

@chiperti - Hi!!! I know we haven't chatted in a while, but just know I do really like talking to you (especially bout music hehehe)!!! Your art is so pretty and amazing and seeing you post new art always makes me excited! You have a superb taste in music, and one of the many super cool people I've met on Tumblr.

@a-had-matter - Like chiperti, we may not have chatted in a while, but talking to you is loads of fun as well! You're also probably one of the first people that I've had a fully blown conversation with- you and many other people help me talk a lot more, and I'm grateful for that! Thank you so much for all your friendliness, your kindness, and also have a merry Christmas. :]

@glastly - I love your art. I love your art. I love your art. Have I told you how much I love your art? BECAUSE I LOVE YOUR ART!!!! Not only that, but I am so thankful to have you as a mutual of mine and your compliments make me feel AMAZING! You are super kind and amazing and cool and- Merry Christmas!! :D

@t3ddysramblings - technically your other is following me (@newaccountinbio)- BUT STILL! I'm tagging you because I adore your art so much and having you respond to that Fell Sans I drew a good while back had me bouncing off of the walls!! You are a huge inspiration for me, because I think you already know how stunning your art is!

@deltaswapjevil - Yes, you! Like Sol, you've liked almost all of my stuff, to which I applaud you, Thank you so much for the support, and I appreciate all of your kindness. May your Christmas be a great one! <33

@annelostshoe - First of all, love your sona! Second of all, you are also one of my biggest fans according to Tumblr- you've liked and reblogged so much of my stuff, and I am grateful for all the support you've given me! :DD

@lumashoes - HELLO!!! You are one of my first followers, and I'm glad you're still with me! You are a very kind and friendly person, and I'm thankful to have you as my moot! Have a great Christmas!! <33

@gummy-worms-in-my-brain - The fact that you're following me still makes me giddy so much asdfggfgdfsddfgfhg- your art is so SO pretty, and that first time that you drew those Christmas cookies for me, that had me kicking my feet and squealing like a little girl- a very excited one! Thank you so much for all your compliments and support, I appreciate your kindness dearly. :>

@mikebeanz - Hello!! Back when I was starting out and had like 20 followers, I noticed how a good few of them were following you, As you do, I followed you too and I silently loved your content- if that makes sense lol. You're so kind, so friendly, funny and an amazing artist, I was like "damn. I wanna talk to that guy". And the fact that we're mutuals now makes me so happy. Thank you so much for your positivity that brings a smile to my face. <<333

*cracks knuckles and gets prepared for more typing, questioning what the limit is*

@mikey-rottmnt @ghosty-0w0 @angelosorangebandana - hope yall don't mind being grouped into one- but IRISH SQUAD!!! you all are so fun to be with and I love being on Whiteboard with you! @mikey-rottmnt, that time that you drew me made me the happiest bean on EARTH!! It was also one of the first fanart pieces I recieved, and I still adore it!! Thank you all so much for your kindness and positivity, and I hope you receive amazing presents this year!! :DD

@mellybabbles - you. make. me. sso. SO HAPPY!!! Like, really. I mean it. Talking to you gives me that boost of happy vibes that keep me going throughout the day, and I thank you so much for those lil "how are yous". You are all the positive adjectives!! Also, spectacular taste in birds ya kiwi lover!!!! <333

@crazed-rambler - congrats on the burning!! Like many of your other followers have said, you are an amazingly kind and awesome person that we are so grateful to have you as a friend! Never forget how incredible you are, and just before you type something like "I don't think so", or "X for Doubt", DON'T. YOU ARE AMAZING. NEVER TELL YOURSELF OTHERWISE.

@moonys-chaos - another fan!! Thank you so very much for your likes and reblogs, and doing that "going to jail because of your search history with @mikey-rottmnt" with ya made me laugh my ass off- it was very fun to me hehe. You are very cool, and I wish you a wonderful Christmas. :3

@oneshortlove - *gives you a million hugs* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! I LOVE YA SO MUCH!!! YOUR KIND WORDS, YOUR DRAWINGS, AH-they make me so, so happy!!! Your sona is adorable, and you are one of the nicest, sweetest people I've met on this platform! I hope your Christmas is a brilliant one and you have a wonderful new year!!

@goomykazoomy - hi!!! I hope that you're doing well!! Like a-had-matter, talking to you has helped me crawl out of my shell and talk more about myself to other people. Chatting with you is a blast, you are incredibly kind, nice and funny, and I love your art! Also, your sona is so cute and I love em sm :3 Have an amazing Christmas, friend!

@artistheworld - I know we're new to each other, but I'm gonna mention you here because of how kind you've already been to me- I love your art so much and I adore every compliment you give me! Have a very merry Christmas!!

Okay I'm sorry that I'm grouping up some of all but my creative juices are beginning to run out lol-

@sillyallthetime @clownpalette @hiro-doodlez @paintaya @m-iivy- HELLO??? HOW ARE WE MOOTS?! LIKE- ALL OF YOUR ARTWORK IS SO PRETTY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH- all of your art styles, your colours, I adore it all! Thank you guys so much for following me, It makes me feel so happy. <3

@kanaede-kun @artsandstoriesandstuff @wishtale-blogs @little-creecher @little-silly-things @it-came-from-mount-ebott @italic-does-random-shit @m3l0man14c @panda-of-the-trash @minophlia @largefound @lemonmint-the-neko @spikeygrrl @qeelovestea @holdmyteaplease @motherarts @justmesadlysry- Imma say it right now- we may not interact with each other a lot, but I platonically love yall. Like. Seriously. You are amazing people and I love your content, not to mention how kind you all are. I may have used that word a lot now, but I mean it every single time. @artsandstoriesandstuff, I want to thank you as well for drawing Roxie, for that made me squeal and giggle and smile and all sorts of happy things!! I hope all of your Christmases are wonderful and fun and that you may have a great 2024. <3333

AND NOW, TO MY FOLLOWERS THAT I MAY NOT HAVE MENTIONED ON MY LIST- c'mere. I appreciate you all. Every like and reblog you do, I can see it (which sounds creepy but I mean it in a positive way lol). I love and appreciate all of your support, really. Whether your content is art, talking or simply reblogs, I love you all and what you do, I am so lucky to have amazing people like you enjoying my content, and you all deserve the best. Pretend I'm handing you a fuzzy blanket and a plate of cookies, because that's what you deserve.

Silly Tumblr won't let me add more, so I am now done. Mic drop.

#*dies*#merry christmas #merry crisis #merry chrysler #not art #talking #long post #thank you all for an amazing year <33 #may next year be filled with love for all of you!

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emwheezie · 4 months

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Do you have some fun facts about Enzo to share? Just wanna to know the guy a bit better.

This is Enzo Vincenzo! I've gotten a TON of asks about him, but was waiting to finish some art and work his story/character a bit more before answering! He's a character we thought up in 2014-15ish, but only recently worked in depth on his development. Pre apologies here, I'm longwinded when talking about my characters! (also it is 3:13am and I'm feeling silly)

Enzo is a secondary character in the comic, friend of the main character kind of deal. My cowriter and I love Enzo and are very happy that everyone else seems to like him too! We are making sure to develop all our characters as much as the two main characters so that we can create as rich of a story/universe as possible. (like we have so much content you could pick any random minor character and be like "them. make a spinoff about them" and we could just do that immediately we have so much content my brain is going to explode)

Enzo and Lennon are high school buddies who met sophomore year, shortly before Lennon dropped out. (peep the bottom art of them from their HS years)

Him and Lennon are big into movies. They binge watch them over the weekends or when he's convinced by Lennon to skip classes for the day.

Enzo loves to draw, especially dragons and horror related stuff. He posts his drawings on DeviantArt where he met xXHexiLexi328Xx and fell in love with her. She's also an artist who loves to draw super kawaii anime chibis magical girls and pokemon stuff.

No one thinks Hexi Lexi is a real person. Everyone's like "awh poor Enzo, still single...you'll find someone, buddy." But she's real and from Arkansas. (like that state even exists?)

Enzo loves knives. His favorite one is a switchblade engraved with the name "Colleen." He found Colleen at a Goodwill while he and Lennon were looking for parts to build a "Saw trap." (you know, from the Saw franchise) Enzo thinks he's Billy The Puppet from Saw...I mean, high school Enzo kind of had the same poofy hair and I'm not gonna be the one to tell him he didn't look like that puppet.

Somewhere along the way, early in their friendship, Lennon is convinced Enzo killed his parents. Lennon's never seen Enzo with his parents so I guess that's the only solution, right? It becomes a longstanding rumor/joke... and Lennon's like wow Enzo that's so cool I'm friends with a literal murderer. (Lennon is dumb).

Enzo once wanted to become a priest but then he remembered he was evil.

Enzo is Albanian-Italian and grew up in Cambridge, MA living with his parents and grandparents. His parents are super religious people who work at the restaurant his grandparents own, located in the North End of Boston.

It's a joke that Enzo's like never heard a music once in his life before meeting Lennon who introduced him to guitar. (He's rhythm guitar in Lennon and Tony's band Poison Boy Club)

I feel like I've said a lot of words and stuff. I feel like there's more but it's now 3:40am and my brain is mush. OH later on, Enzo really hones in on his art skills and gets into tattooing, earning himself an internship at a local studio.

Overall, Enzo's a cool, confident dude who's a little scary in a "big guard dog" type of way, but he's a loyal friend and does his own thing and he's with that.

#tw knife #oc #oc lore #artists on tumblr #illustration #original character

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dragonrider9905 · 2 months

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If you could get to know and/or write with another writer (or more) who would it be?

Hi Anon!!!!!

Thank you SO much for the ask!!!!! This is such a fun one, and I appreciate you thought to send it my way!!!!!

Hoooooo boi, there are SO many cool people on here and AO3, I hope I get them all because SO many people deserve an honorable mention at least. There are also many artists who'd I'd be honored to have work collaborated with.

*Quick disclaimer, I may not tag everyone because I work long hours so if I've forgotten you, it isn't intentional, my brain is just stupid. So I shall begin!!!!

First and foremost, my dear writing friend @eclec-tech. She is literally the coolest. Her stories?!?!?!? Some of the best AU and OCs I've ever read. I will love and ship Tech/Phee, but Miran Threst has first place in my heart for Tech (even over my own OC!) She's read a lot of my work, encouraged me so much in the beginning of my time writing and even now when I get very disheartened with my progress. She's the reason I'm here on Tumblr! Her stories are just so cool. And she's a cool person.

Of course there is my bestie @photogirl894 🥰she shares my innate love for Hunter and the Bad Batch. Her ideas are SO fun and she's so fun to chat with. I've read a lot of her work before we met and I fangirled from a distance til she invited me to chat. I'm still so in awe of just talking to her, it'd be a dream to write something with her.

@apocalyp-tech-a is a moot I'd love to get to know more. Her work is freakn amazing!!!!! I know we share a love of many things, especially poetry. Her things never disappoint. Her Tech anthologies blow me away. She's so sweet and humble too.

@lizartgurl (or @jedipoodoo) I hold in awe for her medieval Batchers. I'd love to get to know her a bit more and I'D BE SO DOWN to write something with her sometime. Goodness, Hunter is beautiful on his own but BAM medieval Hunter? Just made him so much more so. She's been an inspiration to me and my own writing.

@arctrooper69 is SOOOO fun to work with!!!! She wrote "As Iron Sharpens Iron" and asked me to beta read. IT'S SO FREAKN FUN to work with her as we add fine details to her already freakn amazing story! (seriously folks, go check it out)

@carolinetano7567 has some amazing stuff I've loved seeing on here and I know we share a love of the Batch and Wingfeather! It'd be fun to collaborate someday.

@trapezequeen is such a fun presence on here too. We've discussed story ideas and it's always so fun!!!!!

Quick break to shoutout people I don't know if they're on here or not -- my great friend who I write "Hunter's Stress Journal" with, Ghost Cookie, SlimTech, Yazstar, kaydear, Cuthian, and a few other Ao3 authors I majorly fangirl over their works.

@ghostofskywalker has so many fun ideas and so many cool works and is always so sweet when I submit requests. I'm always awestruck by the work. Not to mention all the cool exchanges Ghost puts together? Those are always so much fun and so cool to participate in.

Of course there's dear @masterjedilenaaa, one of the first writers I discovered in fanfiction. I am always awestruck by the amount of detail and fine work done in all of the requests I've submitted. I think I'd faint if she'd ask me to collab.

@ladysongmaster is SUCH a cool person!!!!!! and all of the amazing stories she writes?!?!?!?! pleeeeeeease colllabing with her would be mindblowing!!!!!!

I'd love to get to know @moonstrider9904 more. I've seen a lot of her posts and she's so fun to interact with!!!!!

@klmwrites has so many different, COOOOL, like freakn cool, ideas. All of the ones I've read have left me at the edge of my seat, needing, wanting more. To work with someone so amazing and creative?!?!?! I think I'd just be too awestruck.

I have to have at least an honorable mention for @techs-stitches and @ovaa-bi-bia. They've been SO supportive of me in the past. I don't know if they write, but I love seeing their posts and getting to know them.

@frostycatblr-fandom-files is a favorite pop up of mine too. I love seeing the artwork and the stories!!!!!!! Collabing would be fun!!!!

@imabeautifulbutterfly is such an amazing, sweet, person!!!!! And the creativity?!?!?!?! the beauty with which she writes?!?!?! I would LOVE to collaborate with her. She's been a beautiful soul and a great friend <3 She might be last on the list but CERTAINLY not the least!!!! <3

Gee, I know there are more, but like my disclaimer earlier stated, my brain isn't at full steam.

So in short...a lot of people XD Thanks for taking the time to read my long winded response :) and for asking!!!! 🥰❤️

#dragonrider9905 answers #so many amazing people here it's hard to choose #it's like picking your favorite child #you can't

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justalilpearlie · 3 months

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Introduction/Fun Pearlie Facts

Was abt time I did one of these.

Hello everyone, my name is Pearl, Pearlie or Sam/Sammy if you're feeling like it. Friends also call me Martini sometimes.

I am a minor, my labels... we dont talk about them (fem presenting ftm gay/mlm + trying out gendervoid and verinix + bigender??) uhmm and I go by He/She, tho mostly He/Him by strangers- I can She/Her myself and close friends/mutuals are allowed! (I also go by neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)

I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.

I got the 'tism and the adhd, aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)

- -🌄-📀-🌙- -💚- -💛- -✨-🌄-✨- -💛- -💚- -🌙-📀-🌄- -

I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)

I like to roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are Life Series (+ evo + new life), Empires1(+ a bit of e2) and FNaF! (i dont rlly like the books tho lol..)

I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any fellow lifers or empires ppl, hermits aswell!! Tho I havent finished s8 or s9 yet...

Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!

- -💥-🐺-🌙- -❤️- -💛- -✨-💥-✨- -💛- -❤️- -🌙-🐺-💥- -

DNI prefferably:

- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)

- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.

- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.

- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much

CCs interact at your own risk. This is my domain, cyan man & moon lady. /hj

- -🪸-🐸-🌙- -💙- -🩵- -✨-🪸-✨- -🩵- -💙- -🌙-🐸-🪸- -

"Disclaimer"

- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref

- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp life series/empires u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.

- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.

- -🌸-⛰️-🌙- -💚- -💙- -✨-🌸-✨- -💙- -💚- -🌙-⛰️-🌸- -

Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)

Family! <3 🌼@pehpurr* SISTER!! super duper cool, her art is great and you should check it out!! YOU. You're the brightest little girl (i say like ur not older than me) I'VE EVER MET ACTUALLY! You're so passionate and loving I freaking adore you!! I love you so much Scar, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, Kanny <3 ⚙️@gentlexmadman DAD!! you are my daaaad, you're my dad! woogie woogie woogie! ANOTHER amazing artist! mr "I know that guy-", very funny, Henry "Autism" Emily... the copper king, my father. Speaking to you is always comforting. Love you so much papa, you're amazing :)

Simply special <3 ☕@insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love spending time with you guys and playing stuff together, you mean a lot to me and I'm so glad I met you. I hope we're still close for this year and many more! You're incredibly talented, not only at art, at everything you do. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊Jack***, oh my dear Jacky, where do I even begin, sport... you really are my other half. Mi media naranja if you will. haha.. I love every second we spend together, I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and goofiness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. <3

New friends! 🍓@strawberrystarfield I know we met fairly recently but you're all incredibly fun to talk to, your art is also amazing, your accent is real pretty (cough for a bri-💥), you're real sweet and I love reading all your thoughts and critiques about things :} (love ya Aspen /gen) 🏜️@fagdykegtws My right hand man! I know we just met through the rarepair server but oh my god we're in the same brainwave!!! You're so fun to vc and chat with and you got the best ideas ever fr fr, love ya Chewy, you're real sweet even w how lil i know you ;)

That's it folks, love yall and see you around!

#intro post #introduction #c!pearl irl #sammy emily irl #delusional attachment #fictionkin #fictkin #fnaf irl #life series irl #empires irl #mcyt fictkin #mcyt fictionkin #mcyt kin #system friendly #endos dni #mcyt irl

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thegrinchwhostolechristmas · 5 months

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Introduction to my Tumblr page??

This feels so awkward. I don't know why..

Okay anyway.

Hi, I'm Alex and this is the first introduction to any social media account I've ever made so sorry if it's not good.

I will just start off by explaining the image.

In the top left corner is what kind of music I like. I didn't want it to fill up too much so what I have on there right now is Mitski, Korn, The Cure, and The Misfits. But besides those four bands, I also like Mindless Self Indulgence, The Cure, System of A Down, The Garden, Creature Feature, Xasthur, My Chemical Romance, Deftones, Alien Sex Fiend, The Naked And The Dead, Aurelio Voltaire, Will Wood, Will Wood and the Tapeworms, Jack Conte, Lemon Demon, Queen, Birds Fear Death, Ghost, Melanie Martinez, Ramones, Pixies, TV Girl, Puzzle, Skinny Puppy, Oingo Boingo, and Soft Cell. Those are most of the Artists I listen to that I like four or more songs from.

Below the picture of music artists I like, there are three games I like to play. Like a Dino!, Nyan Cat: Lost in space, and Pastel Friends. I think I can say Like a Dino! is a music based game, and it almost reminds me of Magic Tiles 3, a game I used to play when I was younger. Nyan Cat also has music but a lot of meowing in it. I like Nyan Cat because of the sound effects and I personally find it a fun game. I also like how you can customize your cat. Pastel Friends is just a basic dress up game. I love dress up games where I get to create little characters. I don't know why, but it probably ties into how I used to be a cringy gacha kid when I was younger, but who the hell knows 🤷 It's fun and I think it's cute. But besides those three games I also like to play Fun Run 3, Geometry Lite, Geometry Dash, SubZero, Doki Doki Literature Club, Baldi's Basics, Custom Cast, Goat Simulator, Minecraft, and Gacha Life 2. Gacha Life 2 is only to dress up and make cute characters again, I promise I do not participate in any Gacha Heat 😞🙏

Below the games there are three movies. Pirates of the Caribbean 1: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest, and Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End. POTC 3 is my ultimate favorite though. My favorite character is Hector Barbossa and he is just such a good character in my opinion! I do not wanna say too much because I'm afraid I might spoil something, but he owns a monkey named Jack and I remember a specific scene at the end of one of the movies Hector is seen baby talking Jack (not Sparrow).

On the right side of the movies, there is an anime I really liked and have for four years. HunterxHunter!!! I love it so much I have no idea why. Like I hate so many of the characters, like that stupid clown Hisoka, and there's also the bald lemon head looking bald grandpa in the Zoldyck family, but it's not Zeno. But besides that, I find it a nice anime.

On top of HunterxHunter, there's two people I made in Pastel Friends. Me on the left and my girlfriend on the right. I will not say her name for her own sake but she is the best and I'd do anything for her. We were friends for a year before we got into a relationship and she's the most perfect person I've ever met.

On top of my girlfriend and I is Illumi Zoldyck. There is not much to say. I just like him :P

And on top of Illumi, there is the unlabeled flag. I hope its not outdated, I kind of rushed making this whole thing. But I do not have any labels on my gender/sexuality. I am not cis, demi-boy, demi-girl not hetero, bisexual, pansexual, I am just me and prefer the pronouns he/him or they/them. But it is completely cool if you go by any of the sexual orientations/genders I just listed!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈 bwyafypdh

I think I explained everything on the image, now I will tell you other things

My favorite drink is eggnog, my favorite foods are probably steamed vegetables, my favorite candy is suckers, my favorite dinosaur is the Spinosaurus, my favorite colors are red and sometimes green.

Likes: Candles, things that smell good, writing, reading, poetry, winter, the cold, caffeine, pirates, dinosaurs, language from the 1500's, music, the grinch, lipgloss, socks, cool mugs, sketching, mini dioramas

Dislikes: Being too warm, MY HANDS BEING STICKY, naps, breaking my elbow, cracking my knuckles and feeling pain, mean teachers

I have a basic DNI list

My favorite book is also The Timekeeper by Rob Kidd!

#mitski #korn #the cure #the smiths #the misfits #soad #xasthur #mcr #deftones #msi #mindless self indulgence #alien sex fiend #introduction #hunter x hunter #i hope i did this right #omg #gourmet lolipops are so good

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navxry · 8 months

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Rate your friends

well damn alright fine LMAO

My mutuals from discord and/or Tumblr (utc cause the post is LONG)

Carmine: def a 100/10 if I have to be honest. They dealt with me SO much and my absolute nonsense as well since 2020, no words can describe how much I appreciate them for being there with me in my highest and lowest of my era. I also love terrorizing them with my muses (Lyney simp in denial), and I dont regret at all meeting and befriending them. Love you bestie <3 /p

Ryan: also a 100/10, I genuinely owe him a lot for helping me realize just. how certain things in life isn't 'normal' and fueling my brainrot/s so much. We both had so much to talk abt during the 3 years I've known him (and we're still friends to this day!), and Goddamn do I enjoy playing games w/ him and esp abt our current hyperfixations (Persona and Raincode. I still want to rattle your Yuma bot you little shit /t)

Esther (@mixed-kester) : I just met you like months ago when I first joined astronetwrk, and tbh I genuinely am v happy to have met you and enabled you BAHAHAHAHA I've been friends with her for a while but its so fun just going through the plot + AUs, and also going through pain (and making me go through a crisis with enabling and "NO YOU DID SO MUCH FOR ME" "NO, I DIDNT" LMAOOOO). Yeah, there were times when we both have our disagreements, but I genuinely could never ask for a better friend to yell at Tinuvion/Kunimitsu and the rarepare between Wanderer and Kaeya than her.

Meirin (@meimeimeirin) : I'LL SAY THIS ONCE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: You are so cool and amazing and I'm so amazed with how you deal with my nonsense. I never saw an opportunity to talk to you outside of being on anon back then, and I genuinely thought that it won't be possible, but when EBG happened? I saw it and took it. You were so so so enjoyable to talk to, to rant about the entire event, and even after that, I enjoyed talking to you about even your simping with Zhongli and Alhaitham! I also enjoy bouncing off ideas with our threads (even if I have them on hold, I swear I'll reply to them orz). You're the sweetest person I've known and I am so, so glad to have met you and got to know you as a friend ;v; you also inspired me in writing for Genshin and for my faves, and for also sharing my thoughts on my sona and my selfships. I know you're busy but I hope you can see this because I genuinely appreciate you /pos

Yami (@pastel-rights) : YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD ARTIST WHAT THE HELL— honestly, how the fuck do you deal with me, Sam and Tae? (/lh) like I genuinely am so surprised I'm actually friends w/ you, but in a good way because you are?? So cool?? I swear I sometimes admire your art and when I say I wanna eat it, I would. You're such a good friend and I wish we can talk more fr

Tae (@nice-chiaki) : My first victim (/j), but really, I am in awe that I've met you in the mun's corner. I saw your blog with Itha and I genuinely loved interacting with him— your muse of him helped a lot in bringing me out of my idv writer's block slump because I had no ideas and ooooh, genuinely having you on vc and hearing/seeing you go through your cycles and bs with Sam and Yami (and Fifi as well) is the funniest thing. I also hate you (/exag) for the fandubs, and you making me go through a huge moment with Andrew and Cro. 0/10 wont recommend voicing villains (/j /j)

Sam (@paperbcy) : You are the biggest menace I know, and tbh I wonder if you're like a mirror to my menace self /j, but I'm kidding BAHAHAHAHA. I dont regret enabling you so much for your immorphy AU and our own shared AUs, and I sometimes wonder what would happen if I hadn't met you, Tae and Yami. Also, do not pull Father on my inbox ty

Fifi (@fffiii) : You dealt with my ass for years and I honestly question how you're still sane BAHAHAHAHA, but fr, even till now we're still together from 2016 - 2017(?) and I cannot stop but wonder how long it's been. It was v fun just looking back on our days at Q and even now, and I still appreciate you for everything even if you're a bigger menace than me.

Shiro (@leftdestiny-posts) : We may not talk as much or as often, but you are so kind and ouuuu you make me ;-; honestly. I am v thankful for you in dealing with my brainrot over TCO (which! I plan on revisiting and reviving as a long drawn series haha), and I hope that we talk more often when you have the time (ofc, no pressure!)

Ying (@yinyinggie) : OOOOH YOU'RE SO SWEET AND LUCIEN/YUZU TOO LIKE AUGHHH, I genuinely love you both as mods in astronetwrk AND outside of it. I genuinely appreciate you as a mod and a friend in keeping the server together and hosting games for us, and even when those went awry (read: the mafia game), you and the others made sure we had fun anyway and prioritized our comfort, which is so?? sweet??? I genuinely wish I can hug you and I wish we can speak more orz ily /p

There are more but I can't remember them all so o7 o/ hope this is enough anon

#👁️ | navi speaks #👁️ | consulting with: anonymous #;; theres so many moots but I cant list them all out #;; if I didnt mention you Im so sorry #;; my brain is fried rn HAIUHUIDF #;; okay im gonna go back to work o7 #;; gl to my notifs! /lh

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sapphanimates · 6 months

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Sonic OC Showdown Ask Game!

✨️ - How did you come up with the OC's name?

Trace's name originates from the same oc tutorial video I watched when creating her. One of the example characters was named Trace, after their ability to sneak around without a trace, and I thought it was cool.

🌼- How old are they? (approximate age range)

I'm thinking mid-to-late twenties. But that might change depending on how I structure events in my AU.

🌺- Do they have any love interests?

Hmm.....

🍕- What is their favorite food?

Applesauce! The air slits in her muzzler are just big enough for her to fit in and drink through a straw; applesauce is just the easiest since it's already pre-pureed and tastes great!

💼- What do they do for a living?

Nothing necessarily. She and the rest of the Daybreak's Angels spend their time either relaxing or on patrol for danger. They defend those who can't help themselves and were most active during Infinite's conquest of Mobius.

🎹- Do they have any hobbies?

Back when she could still speak, Trace loved to sing folk songs from her hometown. She can still be heard occasionally humming these songs quietly to herself.

🎯 - What do they do best?

She's well versed in various physical fighting styles, and now due to her muzzler, she has gained a sharp advantage in silent espionage.

🥊- What do they like to do? What do they hate to do?

She enjoys talking and spending time with her team. She doesn't hate much of anything. Things that are purely mechanical somewhat set her off. She doesn't trust them.

❤️- What is one of your OC's best memories?

The day she met Zess. He helped her when she was all on her own, teaching her sign language, helping her get food, and just overall caring for her. Her life has changed forever thanks to him.

✂️- What is one your OC's worst memories?

Being defeated by the Jackal Clan. It scarred her, mentally and physically. She feels as if she let her people down by letting her cover get blown.

🧊- Is their current design the first one?

NOOOOO. She's definitely had some changes, most of which in outfit designs and colors. Her muzzler was originally a completely different (and severely illogical) shape, and there were a lot more greens and even golds in her design. The most recent change I've made to her design was the addition of the burn scars across her face.

🍀- What originally inspired the OC?

This tutorial by Creative Planet Entertainment I had previously mentioned in the first question. This is the video that taught me how to draw sonic characters in general, albeit poorly. This is also where she got her name, as I said before, and even inspired the idea of a muzzled sonic character! The Tasmanian Devil aspect was unrelated to this video and was chosen purely because it's just a cool and unique animal.

🌂-What genre do they belong in?

what?

💚 - What is your OC's gender identity and sexuality?

She is a sisgender bisexual woman. She/Her pronouns.

🙌 - How many siblings does your OC have?

Unsure. Let's say... she's the middle child of 6 siblings?

🍎- What is the OC's relationship with their parents like?

Good. They care about her well-being, even taking care of her in the early months after the incident. When she left, they were heartbroken.

🧠- What do you like most about the OC?

She's my little baby girl. She was my first real sonic oc, and I'm proud of how much she's grown. She is a mini time capsule of just how much I've developed as an artist and writer when it comes to Sonic.

✏️- How often do you draw or write about the OC?

I'll have swings, just like I do with all the fandoms I'm obsessed with. When I'm in my Sonic cycle, I usually bounce back to working on fleshing out and drawing choice characters from my project; Trace being one of them.

💎- Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

Initially, yes. I had an idea of how and when she would die, but it came much too soon, much too jarring, and read like something you'd find in a shock fic. So no. Not now.

💀- Does your character have any phobias?

She is afraid of becoming lethally ill, suffocation, and drowning.

🍩- Who is your OC's arch nemesis or rival?

Infinite, or as she knew him, Zero. They go back all the way from her infiltration of the Jackal Clan camp, to her traumatic silencing, down to the aftermath of his conquest of Mobius.

🎓 - How long have you had your OC?

Since I designed her during the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020. I actually drew her during my break between virtual classes!

🍥 - How old were you when you made the OC?

Early Teens

@sonic-oc-showdown

#sonic #sonic au #project alacrity #sonic the hedgehog #trace the tasmanian devil #trace propoganda #sonic oc showdown

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bettsfic · 1 year

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2022 in writing

whoops, i wrote this at the end of december, put it in my drafts, and forgot about it. this is my seventh year writing a recap and i just read through all of them again. part of me thinks, "it's been 7 years and i haven't accomplished a fraction of what other writers have in that same time." but then the other part of me remembers 1) other writers are on their own path and working at their own speed, and 2) it's unfathomable to me how utterly mentally fucked i used to be. and i mean, i'm still mentally fucked but at least i'm working on getting better. the point is, i had a different starting line than others.

anyway, it's a new year and that means it's time to think to myself for the 7th year running, "dear god when am i going to publish a book." every year i think, this is going to be my year! every year it isn't.

overcame the worst writers' block i've ever had

"overcame" is making it sound more dramatic than it was. i went on a medication that fucked with my brain and then went back off it. but i worry that when i think back on 2022, i'm not going to remember all this cool stuff i did, i'm going to remember how utterly miserable i was for six months. how terrifying it was to feel like someone else was living in my body. i wrote a little bit about it in october's newsletter.

some of this post i've copied over from my newsletter.

but also i have to acknowledge that when i came back to writing, it felt like my brain had been totally rewired and i feel capable, creatively, of about 10x more than i used to be capable of. i'm still trying to articulate what changed and why.

published some things

“shut up and kill me” -- featured in issue 41 of Barren Magazine. the editor who chose it said it was his favorite of the 700+ submissions they received. very happy this weird story has found its home. please heed the warnings!

“coping skills” -- featured in issue 1 of Flossy Lit Mag, a magazine my friends started and which has some great work in it already.

("not if, when" was published january of this year, so it'll go in next year's update)

published other people's things

in 2022, ofic magazine published 33 prose pieces and 3 art pieces! over half of what we accepted came from not yet published authors and you have no idea how happy that makes me.

won a grant

i’m very very excited to say i won the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund grant to help offset the travel expenses of the residency i attended! i’ve been applying to this for years and it’s amazing to have been awarded it. the judges had a lot of lovely things to say about my work and it was a big confidence boost.

did a residency

i spent a month in beautiful Wyoming at the Jentel Arts residency. i met some wonderful artists, got a lot of work done, and had an amazing time. definitely the highlight of my year.

made the top 10 of a big contest

i submitted "Not If, When" to a screenwriting website hosting a prose contest, and out of what seemed to be a lot of submissions, i was a top 10 finalist, and now my story is being pitched to production studios to see if they want to buy the film/tv rights. i've also had a few phone calls with hollywood people wanting to talk to me about my work (i'm still confused about that) and i think they've gone well. no idea what the endgame is here though.

ran other workshop

i intended to run two fanauthor workshops but i only managed one, because of the whole "just gritting my teeth trying to stay alive" thing. but the one i ran i think went really well!

coaching/editing is my job now

i didn't think too much of that until i met with my thesis advisor to get caught up and she was like, wow that's the dream. and she invited me to be a panelist for the annual publishing symposium at my alma mater.

i'm not getting rich or anything, but i've picked up enough commercial copywriting work to make ends meet.

applied/submitted to a few places

totals:

11 residencies (8 rejections, 2 rejections with encouraging feedback, 1 acceptance)

4 publications (1 encouraging rejection, 3 acceptances)

1 award (1 acceptance)

2 screenwriting-ish contests (1 rejection, 1 finalist placement)

this has been far and away my most successful submission year. 6 major wins!

wrote 421k words

what's extra wild about this word count is that ~400k of it was across 6 months. from january 1 to june 16, i wrote only 22k words. and then from june 17 to december 31, i wrote the rest. and for the finished works, this doesn't include their respective trash docs (where i put everything i cut from a story). if i add in those, it's an additional ~90k.

year over year word count comparison:

2022: 421k

2021: 183k

2020: 375k

2019: 430k

2018: 450k

2017: 150k

2016: 343k

2015: 250k

2014: 311k

nine year total: 2,913,000

& other stuff

i really advocated for my mental health this year and i'm super proud of that. i mean dealing with my brain was basically a full-time job and i've come to accept i'll be spending my entire life micromanaging my own head, but for now things are okay

unfortunately i got a diagnosis that wasn't what i expected, that seems mostly correct, and which i'm having trouble accepting

i moved into an apartment with my best friend and it's going really well so far

the only travel i did was to missouri to visit family, and to wyoming for my residency

2022 goal recap (from 2021)

sell a book any book dear god -- got close, but nope

finish a draft of a new novel -- big nope

get an apartment -- yep! and it's great

publish 3 issues of OFIC -- yes and i'm very proud of them

publish 12 newsletters -- no, published 5 newsletters

run a successful Fanauthor Workshop -- yep! 2 sessions out of my goal of 4

write a proposal for a fanfiction craft book -- no, but i talked to my agent about it and now we're working on it together

write a script (pilot or feature) and submit to contests -- yes but it was Bad and i've gotta, you know, make it not bad

2023 goals

these are going to be remarkably similar to last year's, considering it's all just stuff that's been set in motion.

SELL A BOOK

finish a new novel (it's february and i've already kind of done this, but still putting it on here)

publish 4 issues of ofic mag

publish at least 6 newsletters

build the 2024 ofic press catalogue

apply for nonprofit status

run 4 workshop sessions

submit nonfiction proposal

build a script portfolio (feature, pilot, spec)

find a healthy balance between writing and living

annual thank you!

despite how badly i derailed for the first half of the year, i'm really grateful to fandom, readers, and all the friends i've made here for your support and encouragement, without which i wouldn't have been able to do any of this.

prior year recaps: 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

#writing update #2022

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grasslandgirl · 1 year

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Dude, howd u make friends on here???

aw omg anon first of all, this is so sweet of you to ask <33 the jokey answer is i don't know, im just very lucky lmao

but the more genuine answer is that i made friends on tumblr pretty closely to how i make friends in real life: slowly and organically 😵‍💫

the best advice i can give for trying to make friends on tumblr is to be earnest and enthusiastic about the things you care about, and to seek out others with the same interests! there are a lot of people on tumblr who have kind of quiet/unobtrusive blogs: they don't talk in the tags, they don't make original posts, they dont ask/answer asks, etc; and those blogs usually tend to fade into the background, because for a lot of people that's their intention for using tumblr in that way. but in my experience, i've found and made most of my mutuals/friends on here by being vocal and enthusiastic and personable!

make jokes/commentary in the tags of reblogs- this will make you memorable both to the person you're reblogging from, and to the people who see you on their dash, i've started multiple dm conversations with new mutuals based on tags that they or i have made on a post, that sparked an organic conversation-- especially artists and authors of fan content you like; reblogging a post of their art/fic with complimentary tags is an EASY way to make friends with people whose art you like and respect- I'm speaking from experience from both sides of that exchange! so many artists and authors on tumblr are so friendly and so lovely and LOVE to get feedback and thoughts and compliments about their work, and even if it doesn't spark a friendship i always think it's a good thing to put more happiness in the world

reblog ask games and send in asks to people you follow/people that you're mutuals with! most people love to talk/share about themselves, and it's a great way to compliment people/ ask questions to someone whom you don't feel comfortable direct messaging with yet!! the common culture on tumblr is to send an ask for an ask game to the person you're reblogging the game post from, and i think that's a great way to get footholds in with people you want to be friends with !!

i don't know how common this is, but for me i kind of got naturally integrated into a big d20 friendgroup/mutual circle a couple years back, and i think it's a really easy way to make new/more friends- check out who your mutuals are reblogging from or sending asks to/recieving them from frequently! look for people with additional shared interests!

participating in fan creation events is also a really great way to meet new people in a fan space, especially if you write/draw/etc-- i've met and become really good friends with quite a few people through d20 gift exchanges and big bangs over the last few years, and it's a good time of year to keep your eyes peeled for gift exchange fan events right now !!

finally, if there's someone you think is really cool and you want to be friends with them: just message them! one of my dearest and oldest mutuals and friends on here started our friendship by direct messaging me entirely out of the blue "hey you seem cool and we seem to have similar interests, feel free to ignore me but i think we should be friends!" and that was like. four years ago<3 (hiii mer!! xox) sometimes it won't work, and sometimes it'll fizzle out or be awkward, but don't let that dissuade you!! you'll find your people, just keep looking <3

tldr: be natural, be human. it's really easy to blend into just another nameless faceless blog on tumblr, so using the tags and the asks feature and having a distinctive url/header/summary/pinned post is a good way to make yourself memorable, which in my experience is the first step to being seen as approachable/friendly to other people on here!! be yourself, and find a niche/group/media/interest you're passionate about, and seek out people with like interests!! tumblr can seem really daunting i know, and especially when you're a new or small blog it can feel really intimidating when all the other blogs around you seem to already have their established little mutual friend groups; but remember- we're all just people here!! and a lot of us are always looking for a new friend <3

#anon this ask made me laugh but in!! like a sweet way!!#im so touched you thought to ask me!!#if it makes you feel better i spent like the first six months or so on tumblr like WITHOUT FRIENDS AT ALL!#it happens eventually!! the biggest advice i can give is to like!! talk!! be excited about the things you're excited about !!#good luck xoxox #asks

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yoinkschief · 11 months

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Hey y'all, little announcement time :)

It's nothing so serious so don't worry, haha

But I WILL be taking a break from social media for two weeks starting today. Nothing bad had happened, I promise, I'm perfectly okay :)! It's just in the last month a LOT has happened, and I'm grateful for it all

I've met a ton of cool people who are fantastic to be around, and I've had lots of fun talking and drawing with them and just interacting with them in general

And I've even had some of my idols/favorite artists follow me back which is CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT, and I know they're regular people like I am and I shouldn't get so worked up over this kind of stuff, but it's still crazy for me to think about it

Fuck it still boggles my mind that people like my stuff- I'm so not used to all this attention and that's why I'm taking a break, just cause I'm finally able to take a break from all the stress happening in my life and I deserve a bit of a break I'd say lol

I am SO GRATEFUL for all the love and support, gosh I still get giddy when I see likes or notes on my posts, to think people actually interact with my art, reminds me of when I was first starting on Instagram (my art was so bad LMAO I've improved so much) and I'd get lounge 3 likes from my friends and a couple handful from random strangers and I'd get flustered over that, it's the exact same as it is now hah

But I've never been good at handling tons of praise, I try to say thanks as much as I can to show my appreciation but I can't help but feel like I'm coming short, like I'm not properly expressing my gratitude. But that's personal butt problems I'm gonna try and work out over this break, or at least start to unravel the large yarn ball of, but just know every note or interaction I have makes me happy and I greatly appreciate all of you guys :)!!

Apologies for the long rant, I didn't mean to speak all much when it's just "TL;DR: Taking a break for two weeks cause I can't handle praise" haha, but I want y'all to know I'm fine, just don't wanna get a big head or anything lol and I also want to chill my beating heart cause it's crazy to be to think people actually enjoy shit of mine, that entire life forms with cognitive thoughts and lives of their own take time out of their day to spread a little joy my way. That's wild. It's crazy

Even that was a ramble, hah

Anyway, I'll be back soon! I'll probably only respond to DMs but I'll mainly be in Discord DMs because that's where my partner is so :) of you wanna reach me that's how

Also I might have a couple of scheduled posts for the next few days? Just so my account isn't dry? It's art I've already finished so I can instead work on the upcoming series :)

Yeah, still no name drop, lol, big debate on whether or not I would, but feel free to ask any questions about it now that the teasers are done, I'll try to answer as many as I can when I get back without spoiling anything lol

#TL;DR: Taking a break for two weeks cause I can't handle praise #sorry it's different from my usual content lol #but yeah #that's happening #man if i had a nickel for every time one of my idols recognized me id have two nickels #which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice #but like actually oh my God #i woke up one day and saw one here #the other was just randomly in the middle of me working on some art over Instagram and i was like #HUH #these people are crazy #how can i possibly show my gratitude #to them and the great community in general #y'all mean so much to me #jay talk

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tutyayilmazz · 2 years

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At the Pan Am Championships, which begin Friday (15 July) Andrade intends to compete on at least three apparatus, unsure if she’ll participate on the floor exercise.

“My coach hasn't defined it yet. We are waiting. It depends a lot on how the team is going to be, so I'm still not sure,” she said of her all-around prospects at the event. “But I know I'm not going to do two vaults, that he's already told me about. But when it comes to deciding who is going to go on which apparatus, he hasn't said yet, so I don't know, but I'm training them all.”

In Rio, she’ll be joined by Carolyne Pedro, Christal Bezerra, Flavia Saraiva, Julia Soares and Lorrane Oliveira on the Brazilian squad. They’ll compete for a berth to October’s World Artistic Gymnastics Championships in Liverpool.

Her focus may remain the same, but her life post-Olympic glory has definitely changed. Though she says it hasn’t had much impact on her day-to-day life, she admits she’s recognised much more often as she goes about her day.

Her success has intensified the spotlight her sport sees in Brazil, something of which she’s always dreamed.

“I think that's what I've always wanted, for people to value our sport, right? Our work. And it has been happening. I'm very happy,” Andrade said.

“My favorite part is competing, because I love competing and two, all the children asking to take a picture, saying that they started doing gymnastics because of us. And I think that's really cool,” she explained, “because I remember when I was little and I met Dá [Daiane dos Santos, the first Brazilian to win a world gold in gymnastics] and I also told her these things.

“So, I understand the importance of that, the importance of you being a mirror for others, the importance of having someone to be inspired by and admire,” she continued. “So that was pretty cool.”

Andrade says she’s changed a lot since that moment with dos Santos.

First, once dogged by injuries – she had three ACL tears prior to Tokyo – she’s learned, with the help of her coach, how to listen to her body and adapt.

“[Francisco Porath] understands very much that I am not the same athlete as when I was 15 years old. He understands that my body has changed a lot during that time, with all the injuries and everything,” said Andrade. “I can talk to him. If I come to a day when I'm not well inside the gym and say, 'Chico, I'm not feeling well today.' We can keep that vault for another day. I can do the floor routine another day, and he can understand that, and he knows that it's not laziness, that it's not fear, that it's really that I'm not feeling my body.”

But her evolution goes further.

Always a supreme talent, Andrade admits she felt that pressure that came with her extraordinary abilities earlier in her career. She’s worked hard with a psychologist to change her approach to competition.

“When I was younger, I suffered a lot from [dealing with pressure], because I knew I had talent and understood all my possibilities, all my chances. But the question of wanting to do what people expected me to do bothered me a lot, because I couldn't think of what I needed to do go get there,” Andrade admits. “At the time, I was just thinking 'Oh, my God, the competition has to end'! 'Oh my God, I got the routine right in this apparatus, what if I get the other one wrong, what if I can't do this routine?'

“And that didn't let me think about what I really needed to think about, you know?” she continued. “And over time, that improved along with my psychologist. I have been doing psychological counseling since I was 13 years old. Now, I'm 23, so in order for me to get to this state, to be able to have this maturity that everyone thinks I have... but I'm a child [laughs]... it took a long time, you know? But it happens, so we have to believe a lot in the process.”

#💚💚💚💚💚💚#rebeca andrade #panams 2022 #i wanted to post my favorite bits and it ended up being most the article

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potatopossums · 8 months

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i have a problem with people who, very loudly, don't like men. I'm not talking about not being attracted to men, I mean just being straight-up, openly disgusted by men constantly, making fun of and being grossed out by men, masculine people, anyone who appears to look male or masculine at all by their judgment. they literally just hate men. idc if you have trauma about this, your trauma does not excuse you from being a hyperbolic jerk toward people. i personally find it really gross that men existing is your biggest pet peev.

I had a friend who had an issue with male/masculine bodies, for example, men not wearing a shirt: men swimming, men exercising, men training, men sunbathing, men relaxing, men sleeping. it's not sexual to not be wearing a shirt. there's nothing wrong with seeing a male or masculine torso. there's nothing inherently sexual about shirtless men. they're just existing. now, shirtless men getting too close to you or invading your space or being rude to you or making unwanted conversation or advances? that is different. but a man just EXISTING without a shirt on, not bothering you, not talking to you, and you still feel the need to say how uncomfortable you are with them being around, how you think all men should wear shirts even in cases like the above where it's normal for men to wear less clothes — that's a you thing. it is skewed and unfair.

i also don't think depreciating jokes about men are funny. i don't think depreciating jokes about trans men are funny. i don't think depreciating jokes about masculine people are funny. it's just not funny. stop making men and masculine people into villains because of their bodies and physical features. they are people and they deserve to be on this earth. leave them alone and get some therapy. don't make your shit opinions other people's problem. you can express discomfort about being around people without being a jerk. but no, you just hate men. that doesn't make you woke or cool at all. I've met my fair share of shit people, plenty of shit men, plenty of shit women, shit nonbinary people, shit people in general. I've also met wonderful people from those groups. so please. stop treating people like shit.

also, most recent addition: stop belittling men and making their artistic and intellectual achievements into nothing once you find out they're men. more context: i also had a trans friend of mine make fun of a transmasculine artist for being a man, completely discrediting his queer art and being disappointed that such good art was made "by a man:" first of all, he's not a man, he's transmasculine, and no, that's not the same thing. second of all, he's bigender, and my friend didn't even know what that meant, so that's red flag #2. literally, just stop making fun of people. stop. it's not funny or cute. it's really upsetting and it tells me a lot about how you're going to treat me and my friends.

#vent #personal

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baekhvuns · 10 months

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Hellaaaaaauuuur, I'm in Taiwan, but I'm going home soon :/

So CBX, I'm glad they won, but I'm also confused about the whole thing, it's awkward af to be working with people you sued ajgghshgajaasgsdgsd also I wouldn't trust SM, but I hope everything improves and works out well. Baek said to trust him, so there's nothing we can say since we don't know all the details

Omfg, have you seen Shinee in Thom Browne, I can't believe Minho and Jinki are the ones serving skirts??? makes me even sadder Jinki won't be promoting. But heeeeey Shinee variety shows!!!

Baek ILY you came with a whole ass Powerpoint presentation on Ateez's lack of good photos <3333 I feel like I'm nitpicking sometimes, but I genuinely care about the pictures especially if I'm buying albums. I bought so many from artists I don't stan because of the photobooks. TXT for example, I bought two of their albums before I even got into them, because WOW same with NCT. And they don't even need to try that hard, like I said before: some of the pics members post on SNS are much better, wtf??? Very true on the settings + clothes combo, sometimes the colours are so off it makes the photos look even more lacklustre... they rely on members' looks, but they still edit them to the point of the boys looking strange :( Like https://twitter.com/shinestarnation/status/1669978356861874176?t=MOHn2peZLBCxzCiWmfTMAA&s=19 and https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1669972664046469123?t=6JuN7g_tRmtkZ2jJofzqLA&s=19 - he looks hot, but come on. This https://twitter.com/pshsource/status/1670647944469696512?t=7ewg9ktCAqqyvfKprFNCBg&s=19 is better, and the lil ponytail is cool, but again it's because HWA IS A MODEL

Now onto the album, yeah it's like Movement and I feel the same about it, except Outlaw doesn't have Cyberpunk <3 each song has cool parts, but they blend together too much. Can't even tell which one is my fave honestly, I still cannot distinguish all of them based on the verses. I haven't listened to the album a ton, because I didn't have time also the album is kinda an assualt on my senses 😭. Coming from me - noise music lover, lmao. Bouncy grew on me, it's catchy, I'd rather if Ateez gave me something else, but it's the only track that's different

Bestie my bff/flatmate met Yuta in Paris and hopefully she meets TY too, but FUCK PARIS!!! This video lowkey reminds me of our meeting, so fucking random https://twitter.com/yutpeu/status/1670738437585108993?s=20

Anyways, you're right Yuta is a great actor, the difference between that movie he did and his current drama is soooooo 😂😂😂 and the fact so many people don't know his voice and claim he can't sing, but he can do this https://youtube.com/shorts/YcuQlxS3hjA?feature=share4 !? 127 has a lot of singers and not enough singing lines, their line up never made sense to me. Like Jaehyun is a good singer with nice vocal tone, not a fucking rapper, STOP IT. I think they'd benefit from having another proper rapper instead of so many vocalists. 2 Baddies is questionable, but Yuta's "fill up the tank pour gasoline on me rah"??? Okay rockstar!

Speaking of Jamal Jeong, this https://twitter.com/jaehyunpetals/status/1669874106874073088?s=20 video is so fucking funny I've been laughing at it for days and not Troye pulling him also?! Have you seen the vid where Troye tells him he was born in South Africa and Jaehyun literally has his "if you're from Africa then why are you white" moment, I CANNOT

Hoooooold ooooon the challenges, first Taeyong x Felix, now Taeyong with Woo and Yunho. The universe knew I'd die if it was Hwa, lol

Can we talk about Hwa's room??? He did not dissapoint me, the only one so far who has a room with some personality, not just b&w hotel look (soz WooSan) or a literal man cave (Yunho). His room is gamer nerd aesthetic x high fashion girlie DID YOU SEE THE YSL STUFF???? ANTHONY VACARELLO WHERE IS HIS SHOW INVITE THEN. The Folklore vinyl made me laugh, I won't comment, but it's a crime his room is so small :///

BODYGUARD ANNIVERSARY SOON WTF?!?!

And wdym HWA AND SAN WENT TO DINNER WITH KAI AND WE WEREN'T THERE

Wow, I'm so normal... https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1670391008151109632?s=20

He is so great and amazing and spectacular https://twitter.com/shinestarnation/status/1670014890969292804?s=20 - DV 💖

hello!!

Hellaaaaaauuuur, I'm in Taiwan, but I'm going home soon :/ /// So CBX, I'm glad they won, but I'm also confused about the whole thing, it's awkward af to be working with people you sued ajgghshgajaasgsdgsd also I wouldn't trust SM, but I hope everything improves and works out well. Baek said to trust him, so there's nothing we can say since we don't know all the details

HELLOOOO LMFAOOO BACK TO BRITAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i think this is like the first time sm backed off??? no bc some ppl are not able to read,,, im vv glad they have an agreement and now will change things on their contracts, not only theirs but potentially everyone at sm will now have a chance to change those contract terms now,,, cbx really became sm’s character development??? im also hoping they weren’t threatened into this,, but as long as baekhyun says it’s fine then it must be, he’s the lawyer i just hope he isn’t be scrutinized and singled out 😭😭😭 AT LEAST WE ARE GETTING THE COME BACK??? ALL THE PRODUCERS ARE SO EXCITED AND ITS MAKING ME SCREAM BC ANON THIS????

do u hear this (put the volume up rly loud) that baekhyun siren call oMG???? ANON ALL THE BEST OLD SM PRODUCERS ARE COMING BACK??? THAT SIREN CALL??? the way im gonna buy this album the minute they drop the photos omg anon u will not hear the end of me talking about their voices ALL THE SM HIT MAKERS BMWDJWK

Omfg, have you seen Shinee in Thom Browne, I can't believe Minho and Jinki are the ones serving skirts??? makes me even sadder Jinki won't be promoting. But heeeeey Shinee variety shows!!!

 I DID AND IM SO PUMPED??) THE STYLING AND THE TEASER PHOTOS?? TAEMIN BACK TO SKUNK HAIR AND HIS FRECKLES??? OH LORD SM BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THAT ART,,, see it’s so simple but the depth?? the filter?? wowzie BUT YES SHINEE SHOWS!!! im also quite upset about that but i hope kibum does a ending fairy w onew’s face in it 🤲🏻🤲🏻

NO BC I WAS SO FURIOUS I WANT BETTER PHOTOS 😭😭😭😭 right! like it really matters when a photobook is very pretty,, sometimes i don’t even like the songs but the photobook? im buying it. it’s like a magazine collection for me fbenjck nct’s resonance album was the definition of simple but it was so pretty to look at?? a whole magazine style,,, THE NCT SEOUL CITY ONE IS JUST TO BEAUTIFUL !!!! no bc they really do post better on social media,,, petition for booba to do their actual album’s photo books !! ur right, the clothes are like the same colour as the bland background which just fades them out plus the extra photoshop on their lips that DISAPPEAR???? idk if u saw but i was looking thru the deja vu san photos,,, i think they made his nose longer? i think it may just’ve been me but when i first saw it it’s all i could think off,, those photos with the wire have sO much potential like PUT SOME FILTERS LETS NOT MAKE IT BLAND, USE CYBER CORE LIKE ITS THE PERFECT TIME??? like zoom into some random part of their face,, like just show us art 😭😭

honestly that orange ones are so pretty, i wish they did something like that!! i made a another one that i wish was the aesthetic / theme for this comeback,,, cyber core ateez pls 😭😭

each song does have some pretty good parts,, i also cannot distinguish between them.. they seem very cohesive to each other in a sense if u finish one song u don’t even know u finished it bc the next one correlates to the one u just finished,, ASSAULT TO MY SENSES FBWMDBWMBDWKBDKWHDWKHDKWJDKW LMFAOOOO bouncy grew on me too bc i be doing that dance challenge every second <3

FUCK????? ARE U ALL HAVING A YUTA MEET UP WITHOUT ME???? FUCK ???? WHEN IS JT MY FUCKING TURN FBWKFHWKJDKS STOP U LIVED A WHOLE KDRAMA 😭😭😭

RIGHT!! the movie it fit him so well, like his sharp features just make it even better ??? sm get him into movies??? NOOO LITERALLY LIKE ME TOO I FORGOT HOW HE EVEN SOUNDS LIKE BC THEY DONT EVEN GIVE HIM LINES,,, that’s the problem w nct like u guys have some of the best vocalists in the industry but the songs are too small or the lines are just not being given fbwndbsn RIGHT HE IS HE IS !!! HE SINGS SOOOO PRETTILY PLS LEAVE THE RAPPER TO MARK 😭😭😭 the rAH GOT ME FBANBDKS

JAMAL 😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO I LOVE KPOP LIKE THIS FBEKFBKW saw a twt that said “how u whiter than a white guy” I SCREAMED FHWKFHWKDHWK

Hoooooold ooooon the challenges, first Taeyong x Felix, now Taeyong with Woo and Yunho. The universe knew I'd die if it was Hwa, lol /// Can we talk about Hwa's room??? He did not dissapoint me, the only one so far who has a room with some personality, not just b&w hotel look (soz WooSan) or a literal man cave (Yunho). His room is gamer nerd aesthetic x high fashion girlie DID YOU SEE THE YSL STUFF???? ANTHONY VACARELLO WHERE IS HIS SHOW INVITE THEN. The Folklore vinyl made me laugh, I won't comment, but it's a crime his room is so small :///

THESE CHALLENGES ATE !!!!! THE TAEYONG ONE FHWKHDKW SCREAMED we could’ve had a kai x hwa x san…..

HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT AT ALL HES SO COMMITTED TO THAT CLEAN GIRL GAMER FBWKDHSK I SAW THE YSL STUFF HE’S ALSO MANIFESTING IT AND SO ARE WE !!!! he’s a swiftie….oh he will go when she comes to sk

san is me in hwa’s room

BODYGUARD ANNIVERSARY SOON WTF?!?! //// And wdym HWA AND SAN WENT TO DINNER WITH KAI AND WE WEREN'T THERE

DONT REMIND ME I WILL DROP THE TEASER THIS WEEK AFTER MY MIDTERMS 🫡🫡 FBWMDBWMDBKW AND WE WERENT THERE??? HOW DARE THEM?? no bc what would they talk about like kai would not speak a word if not spoken too 😭😭😭 these introverts pls LIKE???

Wow, I'm so normal... https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1670391008151109632?s=20 /// He is so great and amazing and spectacular https://twitter.com/shinestarnation/status/1670014890969292804?s=20 - DV 💖

wow. i just did not let out a shrill.

AANDDD??? THIS LINKUP???

and this titanic thing??? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND omf they must be mf terrified to be in their, in the dark alone in the water so deep like 😭😭 & like i did not know titanic was that close to canada like damn??? the submarine may have been imploded or flooded?? but they heard knocks from the ocean,,, like omg i hope they find them bc the oxygen is running out,, 40 hours of life support left i desperately hope they find them bc they 19yo kid in it got a whole life ahead omg 😭😭😭 ppl on twt saying titanic still taking lives 😭😭 i hope w some miracle they’re all alive ,,,, imagine them rn in that ocean thinking while we all just sit in our rooms seeing this,, it’s so unsettling my fear of the ocean skyrocketing <33

😀😀

😧😧 LMFAOOO

😶😶

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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wyrm-in-a-closet · 2 years

Text

Im gonna make a long post about everyone I've met during my time as an amphibia fan because yall are all so lovely and it's been an absolute black these last nine or so months since I first watched the show.

This isn't in any particular order, but here's a shoutout to some of my moots:

@tinydragontoons whenever I wake up, I always reblog a ton of posts from while I was sleeping, and every day, without fail, you come around a bit latter and reblog a ton from me, and it's always great seeing your tags, or even just the note spam

@slymanner I haven't interacted with you as much, but you're one of my earliest amphibia moots, even if half the time you're posting about sonic

@luna--dragon all your Au ideas are absolutely fantastic and I've loved every one of them. Maybe, this summer, I'll have time to actually write the grubhog au more (no promises)

@wormautopsy you're a bit of a newer moot, but every interaction with you is a fun one, and we can always still be Wyrm and Worm buddies

@nexus-the-kiezadrius although these days we tall a lot more about object shows, I'm pretty sure i found you from ampibia, and I'm so glad I did cause you're one of my best friends and i hope we can continue to be insane about media for a long time to come

@ryderdire @birdplushie I haven't talked with you two as much either but you've still be great buddies

@classifidpotat your art has been incredible, and you've been a great person

@insulationsun you as well. You make phenomenal art and also the tags you leave on posts are always a good read

@hlessii you're really cool as well, and although i haven't talked to you a ton you're pretty cool

@casswithmywholeheart your art is also very good, and you're fun to interact with

And last, but by no means least, everyone else who I either didn't tag here, weather it be because I forgot to or some other reason, every single one of you have contributed to some of the best months in my life. Also to everyone who follows me but I never followed back, I'm sure you all are incredible too.

Further more, all the artists, writers, creators, and fans that I may have only reblogged from a few times who have contributed to making this fandom the truly incredible thing it is. This fandom would not be the same without people like you, who've created so, so much absolutely incredible content for me to reblog and scream about the tags

I'm honestly tearing up a bit right now just with how phenomenal this whole experience has been and how much each and every person here means to me. It's hard to put into words, but I will give it two:

Thank you.

As for once the show ends, I will keep reblogging ampbibia posts as long as there's post to reblog, and whether or not yall stay with me or move on more quickly, I hope to maintain some of these friendships I've built for a long time to come.

Now, let's get ready. Only 6 and a half more hours.

#Amphibia #Thank you Amphibia #amphibia goodbye

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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11/2/22

A lot of accomplishments today. It's a shame they don't feel like much. Welp, guess this is what my therapy is now, my self-work... not just diving deep into analyzing the deep end of life... actually making some tweaks to more everyday shit too. So I'm gonna try to really sing my own praises here. Because it's literally my homework. So bear with it if it sounds a little cocky or egotistical. It's depression treatment, boosting that ego a bit instead of constantly kicking it down, because I can trust my ego to be responsible and not let shit go to my head.

I got up late. I ate a yogurt and got in the shower. I am out of cereal, so despite having milk... my breakfast plans were a bit thrown off. yogurt was my backup and good thing because I have a ton and with granola it's not a bad breakfast at all. I didn't even make coffee though. My plan was to go to the store, get a Monster and something to eat, and head right to the skatepark. I was just chompin at the bit to get there today. I didn't even really have a plan, just work on nollies a bit or something.

I got the Monster and a sandwich, headed to the park and there were two guys around my age - one a bit older than me, the other a bit younger - and their kids, I assume, either that or the younger dude was a coach or an uncle or much older brother or something. It was cool, I didn't expect it to be... but it was chill. The kid with the younger dude was practicing back axle stalls on the mini quarter, he was trying to teach him and the kid got pretty close a few times.

The other father talked to me a bit. Asked me how long I've been around, I said like 25 years. Guess that caught him off-guard. Then asked what I do, probably because he's never seen me. I swear, it's always the second question. People don't even ask me my name anymore. Think about that, they want to know my profession before my name. I've met like 3 people since I've started going to the park regularly and not one of them know my name. I don't know when to volunteer it or ask theirs, I really struggle to feel the flow of conversations, and I fear disrupting them. The second damn question I'm asked like every time I meet people, "what do you do? where do you work?" It's a hard question for me to answer.

I don't make money. So... I just say I'm an artist. Then they ask what I make. This time I said clothing, because right this moment it's basically all I make. I am capable of making much more, but right now I make clothing. Being an artist is not always an easy thing to explain to people, often it feels like trying to explain a color to them that they've never seen before. "I'm making custom clothes, I made this hoodie." Yep, I was wearing the hoodie. It even had a white colored pencil outlines for the crow centerpiece on the right sleeve still clearly visible. The dude like, without missing a beat, went "oh yeah, what else do you make?" Like... didn't even look at the hoodie. And I also have a board with custom painted griptape too... Like... some people just don't engage with it. It's so weird to me.

Welp, after a bit of talking, I mentioned I'm making jewelry too and he fuckin lit up, so that was good! My diverse media served a really good use today. So I mentioned doing it by hand and sourcing local minerals and shit. He referred me to, I shit you not, the two spots that I have been sourcing stones and minerals. The river and an old smoky quartz vein in a national park that now has signs up everywhere saying the place is off limits because people fucking googled it and depleted the damn place. Like... fuck people. I snuck in pretty recently and grabbed a few scraps. I don't need much for a jewelry piece, even like an amulet centerpiece. They don't even have to be perfect crystals, I can just shape them now. But some people came in and tore the place up bigtime, debris everywhere, cave-ins, giant holes just dug out. And the spot is a big cliff, so... that could get super dangerous and do a number on the ecosystem if people are do that wrong one time. So I stopped going, even though my best pieces are from there.

The dude also recommended a dude not far from here that does car inspections - guess whose car is a month overdue for inspection... - and has a whole load of mineral collections that he's gotten from people who inherited them and shit. I don't know if he'd be down to like... donate some... I really doubt it... but I might be able to get a few choice pieces for a good deal, especially if he knew it was going to jewelry-making, to art. That they will be cherished and worn regularly (I hope), not just sitting in a box or in a garage. I got excited about that, I got the guy's name and I'm going to try to overcome my stupid social anxiety which is flaring up big-time in that general direction right now and just see if he'll set up an appointment within the next two weeks. I'd be more than glad to help his business, and I'd absolutely love to see what he has in his collection while he works on it. Much better than sitting awkwardly in a car dealership service department drawing in my sketchbook with headphones in. I'd much rather poke around in some weird old dude's garage and look at his collection of antique cars and inherited mineral display pieces and antique license plates and shit. That would be awesome! So if I can just shake this reflex that feels like I'm setting up a doctor's appointment... please... it would be really helpful. I hate that feeling, I'm so tired of it. I wish I could just pick up the phone and call, I used to. Pavlovian training is very powerful. But the more I practice just picking up the phone, doing it and seeing that it's absolutely fine? The more I get used to it, and the easier it will be to do it again. The worst thing that could happen is he could say he can't make an appointment. That's like... it. He might like... rip me off price-wise... it's possible. But whatever, he'll have to deal with the guilt of that if he's that kind of person.

So it was cool meeting someone new and getting a life and work connection. Me and that dude waxed nostalgic about skating in college, which was really chill. I just... have a different relationship to skating than him. I sought out getting back into skating, his kid got him back into it. He clearly had an accident and just stopped skating; kinda like me I guess, though mine wasn't a skating accident. He was probably skating home from a party late at night, drunk, and ate shit. From what he told me, it sounded like that's probably what happened. It's weird how people just... tell me stuff like that. I feel like that's not very normal, but it's been happening a lot lately. Like I'm a priest or something, and they're in confessional. I appreciate the gesture, it's a huge compliment. I was talking about how I missed skating on sidewalks, the sound of it, the feeling of it. I guess maybe it brought him back or something. But he got back into skating because of his kid, which is still awesome. They were both at around the same ability level, which is actually really cool. I wish they worked on tricks together, it seems like they were both just cruising, which is still cool.

I did my own thing, practiced some stall variations on the stair. Nosestall shove revert, that weird new nosestall-toehook-crook-revert, fakie nosestall shove nosestall revert. I'm really liking adding quick reverts to the ends of tricks now. I tried doing a few lines too. Like manualing the big bank up and down, looping around and then front 180ing off the other bank onto the flat. I did a really weird manual powerslide 180 into pivot 270 on a hip, which I still can't get that whole huge fakie pivot down right... but the manual powerslide (I guess, I do them a lot, I don't know what they're called) and a little revert back to regular is still cool and fun to do on a hip.

After a bit, they all left. I had the park to myself again. I did a few laps, practiced nose manuals and fakie manuals. Fakie manuals are weird as hell and I really want to get better at them. Lots of nose/nollie tricks today so my left thigh was really feelin it. By the end, I was just toodling around and started going to the mini-quarter and came close to accidentally doing a rock-to-fakie. I got a bit spooked. That trick scares me now, but it was a trick I actually had on lock for a very short period in my life. I never really had a mini-pipe to practice on... ever... so I never got transition tricks down really. I would probably be really good at transition if I just had access to a pipe that was less than fucking 8 feet tall. I have no clue why they didn't just add a full minipipe or minibowl to this new park, there are not a lot of skaters around this area that can skate the kind of shit they've been building. In my opinion, of course. If you want a new generation of skaters, you need some beginner shit too. Not all fucking 45 degree polejams and 8' half bowls and hip-height rails and shit. Throw in a really low manual pad with coping on all sides. Throw in low rails and shit. Make a damn minipipe is what I'm saying, okay?! Let the kids - and adults - learn.

So since I came close to accidentally going into rock-to-fakie, I said fuck it, I'm gonna try just getting into rock to fakie and see how it feels. It freaked me out a bit, but it felt somewhat doable. I started to just skate off somewhere else. I literally stopped myself, and went:

RATIONALITY - "No, nope, why are you just laughing this off, you really don't understand?! This is the trick you're working on right now"

ANXIETY: "But it's getting dark, the light is fading real quick, could be dangerous... what if I catch my trucks? It seems like it's me just begging to get hurt"

RATIONALITY - "okay, let's check then, because this is the trick you're working on. Let that sink in, dum-dum"

And I took my board and ran it along the coping, made contact with the kingpin barely for like a split second and immediately went straight to the wheels and rolled out. It was like... next to impossible to hang up trucks on that thing without just rolling right out of it.

RATIONALITY - "I can say with confidence that your chances of hanging up your trucks on this are like... 10% maximum. You can do this today."

ANXIETY - "But it's getting dark though..."

RATIONALITY - "Then you better get to it."

I gave it a few runs, I got into the rock no problem. Getting on the deck is easy, staying above it is easy too, it's almost easier to not pull your body above the deck and just sneak your board over, I guess. Definitely more stylish that way. But the second I started to roll back fakie I'd just jump off my board. Every time. Like a 50's suburban housewife seeing a mouse in the kitchen or something. It was frustrating me. Like... I practiced just rolling up, lifting my trucks and tapping them back down like 20 times, I had it fine every time. I did a few runs on the big quarter rolling out fakie to prove to myself that I can roll out of a quarter fakie just fine. But it was stuck in my head. It was like a reflex. When those didn't work, I was getting a bit desperate. I said fuck it, I'll just drop in then. I'll get used to how the quarter feels right at the beginning of the line. I'll feel the curve and the balance shift I'll need, because I'm very new to this quarterpipe and I'm not familiar with how it feels to skate it just yet. So I dropped in, pivoted on the bank across from it, then came back, gave a kick and went into rock, and pussed out on the rideaway, but the board made it back out this time no problem. It was getting very dark, but I got back up, I could feel it, I just need to stay on the board. It was working. So I'm pretty sure it was the second time that I dropped in with it, I came back and rock to fakie'd it no problem. And it was a really cool feeling trick. And I fucking like clapped and pumped my arms and went "Yes! Oh my god that's such a good feeling!" And I went back and did it again, for good measure. And I got it fine.

I love unlocking new tricks, or even re-unlocking old tricks. That's a trick I probably haven't done in like... 15 years? Maybe more? And when I did have it, it was like... only for like one session at an indoor park honestly. I'm a street skater, I don't see a lot of minipipes, so the opportunity to pull that trick out just didn't come up again. Until today. And it was cool!

So I went home. Polished some quartz and listened to Devin Townsend having tea with Elizabeth aka A Charismatic Voice. It's an exhausting process hand-sanding quartz, but it's coming along very nicely now. I don't know exactly how far I want to take the super clear quartz, but I'm eyeballing it and it's coming out really well right now, it's going to be a really cool piece, I think.

I made dinner and went into the studio to eat. I ordered Cubase. Finally. It took me like a year to do it. I ordered a DAW. I haven't had music recording capabilities since 2018. I don't want to pirate anymore, and I just didn't have the money available. I said fuck it and pulled the trigger on it. It was well worth it. It was a good decision, a hell of an investment. The things I can do with this are... I mean... I've barely even looked at the thing and I'm blown away at what's possible. I am now prepared for inspiration. I just need to get my drums hooked up properly to my VSTs, learn how to do that in a way that I understand and am comfortable with. I started playing around combining Taiko drums with African drums and different rural Eastern European percussion instruments that clack and jingle. I was programming all of it, and all I wanted to do was just play them on a drum, not program them by hand. And I just couldn't really figure out how to remap them...

I think once I figure that out I can make a cool process out of it. Where I just play a cool drum groove, even layer it and form like... a drum circle? Like... have you ever been in a music class or a workshop or something and they hand out all the percussion instruments and they teach you a pattern and then you all play the patterns together? That kinda deal. And I want to add bass and some atmospheric treble stuff to it and turn those into hip-hop beats.

I want super organic stuff. But made with digital instruments. Made digitally. Played on a MIDI drum kit. That's my goal. I want field recordings too, like nature sounds and shit. I'm very inspired, in case it's isn't noticeable. But I'm holding back because my... process is inhibited by a learning curve. With a new program, and new equipment, there can be a roadblock between what you could do and what you can do. And I currently can't do the drum thing with the VSTs I want. So once I unlock that, I will be able to do any drum VST with my kit, not just Kontakt-based ones. I don't think the VSTs I'm messing around with are made for drums, I think they're made for keyboard, just sayin.

So... I cracked the seal with music and it was great to be back. I saved my little pattern and transitioned into working on the hoodie. I started to see my creative anxieties more clearly there. They weren't so visible for me in the music medium, but when it came time to start blocking out dark and light areas on the crow? Out came a piece of sketch paper. I made a mockup and found the light source. I'll show a picture when it's done, but the piece is a crow's head and shoulder in front of a crescent moon, so it's going to be basically backlit. Crescent means that half of the crow is backlit and has a white highlight on it's edge, like a white outline behind it. But the back of the head and feathers overlapping the moon will be pure black. And I need glare on the eye to make it look 3D, so I'm kinda adding in a second light source, and it's helping a bit to not have the entire crow just be fully silhouetted. The sketch looked a little too basic at first... but then started to look better and better. I worked on it for a while, then said... this is dumb... just start inking. So I refreshed my white pencil sketch and said "fuck it". I inked the eye, then the crease in the beak, and the back of the neck. Then I just started going to town on it. And I got a big chunk of it done and it honestly looks really cool. I have no idea how the shading will work if I wash this thing, even if I iron it... but I was able to actually do some brush-like shading techniques and they were pretty visible... so... if that works, that means that my pencil-style shading techniques might actually work in this medium, which opens up a whole new world of opportunity. I really need to do test swatches for this shit!

But yeah, I got a good chunk done. And then I played Cult of the Lamb for a few hours to wind down. Because fuck it, it's a fun game, addictive too, and I felt like I earned a break. So... I don't know why I didn't carry a feeling of accomplishment to bed tonight. Depression, tbh, I know exactly why. Because I have no one to share that accomplishment with. It sucks. So... I'm sharing it here! That's something, right?

But I really do need to celebrate my victories, and not let the demons of others suppress my ability to enjoy life. I did a rock to fakie today, and I wasn't even going to try to learn it. I made good progress on a really cool jewelry piece. I have a DAW now, finally, so I can make music whenever I feel the urge. Finally. And I made good progress on my hoodie too. And I got that contact that could be good for both getting my car inspected and possibly getting some cool material for jewelry. Today was a big win! And I'm really proud of myself for my accomplishments today. Comparing this to like... sitting around watching Twitch and just feeling sorry for myself? This life is much better. XD

I'll try my best to get the car repair guy on the phone tomorrow. Hard to do when you go to bed at 7 AM... which is quickly approaching.

#diary #journal #online diary #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts #skateboarding

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