#IM STILL SETTING UP DONT MIND ME

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o) #well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing???? #i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o) #THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o( #yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

[blmpff]

Protip 1: don't piss off people who handle your food

Protip 2: if you're having breakfast at a hotel, and the sign says 7:00-9:00am, the "9am" is the time you should leave the latest.

If you're still idly sitting at the dining hall at 9:30am, while waiters are hastly cleaning up and want to prep for your next meal, you are a great inconvenience and just straight up disrespectful.

And if you're STILL still sitting there chatting away at 10am while the cleaning team is VACCUUMING and mopping, then you've been killed a thousand times over in all the staff members minds.

Don't be a dick, eat your meal, and then go chat in the common area for lounging, not in the dining hall.

Thank you for coming, have a nice day.

#guess how my morning went #and no asking them politely didnt help *karen voice* “we still havent finished out teas” #our* #bro there are 90 of you do you think setting everything up takes 5min #im in my bitter-er era #dont mind me #blmpff rumbles

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[seaweedstarshine]

You know that time in the comics when the Doctor is so depressed, he shuts off the lights, turns on an interrogation spotlight, locks himself in the console room, and argues with a bunch of judgmental shadow-figures resembling his past incarnations?

And all the TARDIS' lights go out and her interior becomes a maze to keep his companions out of the console room, all from her psychic connection with the Doctor (“moodbleed”)?

And his companions are left wandering in circles for two days as the air goes “stale,” not knowing where he is but thinking the worst, while he hallucinates in a dark room?

...because I'm thinking again about the times this definitely happened when he was with the Ponds.

#when they find him- Rory (one good nurse™) asks neutral questions to check on his emotional state while respecting his space #Amy knows when he's locked himself alone long enough to call River (fortunately Amy talks to her daughter often) #River can calm the tardis and go directly to the Doctor. she sits with him and nods when he rants. she tells him hes loved. #eleventh doctor #11th doctor #doctor who #words by seaweed #(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag #honestly same. I don't want anyone looking at me when im in that way because eyes are very uncomfortable lasers slicing my thoughts #so river doesn't look at him. she looks away and lets him look at her so he knows she's not looking at him. she also does active listening #the shadow-figures in this comic are beyond psychosis coded #emphasis: it isnt presented like some conference of past selves here (which the doctor can't just do anyway- see Power of the Doctor). #and the shadow figures dont have personalities anyway. the way theyre drawn is VERY psychosis coded (as is 11 this whole Si Spurrier run) #this is from Eleventh Doctor Year 2 Issue 3 (set between A Christmas Carol and The Impossible Astronaut) if anyone's wondering #note that he put on his comfort fez I love him #alice obiefune #poor Alice got drove up the wall from wandering in the dark for two days… I think Amy and Rory get to get used to it if they're together #eventually they work out a plan to calm the tardis enough to show them the comfy spot in the bunkbeds to wait and give him space #he joins them in their bunkbed for platonic snuggles. all in the same bunk. Rory doesnt mind. they make sure the doctor knows hes loved <3 #I think- having been percieved as psychotic growing up- Amy would be conscious about making sure the doctor knows she still adores him #I really want this fic to exist

[kathrynmjaneway]

.

#still wild to me that i am in a relationship #itll be 3 months next week and i am obsessed with him than ever #i never couldve imagined itd actually be like this but it is literally everything i ever wanted #hes sooooo kind #and sweet and i could gush about him all day long #i mentioned in front of two of his friends how im planning to buy a ps5 in the next couple months bc i only have Nintendo consoles #and i wanna play other games #and his two friends where like well why arent you getting a gaming pc????? #important note here: they all are gaming nerds and they are all like IT guys incl my boyfriend #and i explained that its just the easiest way and that im not really a pc gamer #(but important note here is that my bf has hi gaming pc set up on his tv and plays with a controller exclusively and i do vibe with that) #and then all 3 basically were like we will literally build you a gaming pc ourselves so you dont buy a ps5!!!! #that was 2 days ago. #yesterday my boyfriend showed me his research into possible gaming pc set ups for me that would be within a certain budget #while still being definitely more than good enough #and he explained some things to me and asked my opinions #and now im sat here like ok 🥺 #i think ill let my boyfriend build me a gaming pc #mind you i wasnt planing on getting a ps5 before fall the earliest bc im planning on moving soon and money and all that #but hes already planning and gathering ideas #while still understanding why i initially wanted a ps5 (less money and i have no idea about gaming pc set ups) and leaving it fully up to me #i am also now at exactly 100 hours into elden ring with him as my backseater #which means end game shit #i am currently switching between trying to win against Malenia Mogh lord of blood and radagon #its........ going #i maxed out my number of flasks and charges?? is that what its called #and i got my +10 staved and sword/catana #its still super fun but hoh boy #the rush of adrenaline when i finally beat godfrey and my boyfriend was so hapoy for me too it was honestly super fucking adorable #personal

[dorkicon]

bitching abt my job again

tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia

#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind #for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at #and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years #only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down #despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down #so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen #and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it #and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first #--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane. #and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl #bc of course they dont give a shit about the library #they just care about how scary the queers are #and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town #and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time #(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the #--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right) #when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting #the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display #its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages #talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w #--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens #sourse: i was one of tgose #and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk #and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look #--elsewhere #bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater #--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education #i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too #but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in #--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on

[deancaskiss]

highlight of the day today: the cranky pessimistic doctor actually said really nice things about me today. I had been asking him questions all day and giving my thought process behind things and my theorized diagnoses and then he let me do a cat neuter today and let me close up another amputation and he wants me to do a spay later in the week… but the real highlight was when we were in surgery and he was asking me questions to test my knowledge and then i asked him a question about his suturing and he was impressed with my knowledge and he called me “intuitive” and said I was “precise and mechanical” (probably because im a hands-on learner and because i like to run through everything I’m doing and do things systemically and he noticed all of that about me in just 2 days and he thought i had good approach) and he repeatedly said he thought i was going to be a good doctor/surgeon and he’s seen students on rotations that he knew wouldn’t be good at the job but he has no concerns about me and said i had good skills and instincts and he was sure about me 🥹

#oliver talks #vet school adventures #literally me trying not to tear up in the OR because he said such nice things #like i asked him why he was doing certain throws with the suture and he was impressed that i noticed he was only doing 2 throws #and he mentioned it was because the suture was a different material than PDS (the normal go-to where we do 4-5 throws) #and he said he does 2 throws because it has good memory and at the same time I said ‘good tensile strength’ and he looked impressed #then he called me intuitive and said i was precise and mechanical (but in a good way) #like he was impressed with the way i approach things and because im hands-on with learning i work through things in my head as im hands on #like i will be coaching myself through it mentally as im doing ti physically #and its like he’s noticed my thought process and the way i work and he was impressed with my approach #anyway still crying about this because after the internal med doctors said crap things in my last review and said i wasnt ready to be a vet #and then this ‘real world’ doctor who’s cyanical and disillusioned turns around and says he has confidence in me and thinks im a good vet #that means literally a million times more than anything else ever could #like its this huge difference from doctors on campus in a education setting being overly critical and harsh #and then an actual real world practice practioner basically sang my praises today in his own cranky way #yeah thats like the biggest compliment ever #because its like he’s so honest and brutal about things he doesnt sugar coat anything #so the fact he said those nice things to me today. i know that was genuine and real because if he doesn’t like something he makes it known #but ive impressed him. me. i did that. i impressed the doctor today. #dont mind me im gonna cry now #now i gotta watch all the spay videos again before i do surgery in front of him this week so i can impress him (dont wanna disappoint him)

[pulchrasilva]

Having people you care about who are suicidal while you're not suicidal is truly a special torture I think I want to go back to wanting to kill myself im gonna throw up

#vent post #it's just. knowing theres no quick fix or surefire solution because there never was for /you/ #it feels a little hopeless yknow? like what can i do really? how can i singlehandedly restore your faith in the world? #how can i stop your body from causing you constant pain? #i literally cant. and im not good at handling the fact that i cant do much #doesnt help that last time a friend tried to kill themself i sorta didnt see or didnt take note of the warning signs #now someone is letting me see all the warning signs it's setting off the 'THIS IS WAY WORSE THAN LAST TIME ALARMS' and idk if thats true #but its really putting me on edge about it #for forever i was used to knowing people who want to kill themselves but dont ever take action to do it #which is miserable and terrible but it's not particularly scary #PLUS doesnt help that by coincidence i was remembering other horrible miserable things that happened after my friend tried to kill themself #and my brain loves to imagine what mjght happen if they /do/ try to kill themself. what I'll do when i find out. whay ill do if they succeed #i dont really want to think about it but we're thinking about it i guess #hey isnt it kinda funny that my parents /still/ dont know my friend tried to kill themself that night #and i got yelled at for being antisocial while i was sobbing and sick with grief and unable to get out of bed #oh im gonna throw up. anyway #dont mind me im mostly ok #feeling a little sick but i can manage

[thebuttsmcgee]

THE SAME PLUSH CREATOR FOR THE LUMITY PLUSHES HAS PLANS FOR A WILLOW AND HUNTER PLUSH SET LETS GOOOOO

#butts talks nonsense #well technically its also owl house related but I dont wanna main tag that #tho it might end up there anyways? ehhhh #aaanyways. apparently they said so nearly a month ago lmao I guess I missed it tho ldjqhbdw #really cool tho!!!!!!!!! Dude I have seen like NO Willow plushes at all and only 1 Hunter plush. Ive seen a custom made Gus one as well but #only by 1 person tho it was still p cool #Im p excited tho!!!!! Their Luz and Ams plushes have always been really well made as well as their SPoP ones so woot! #Granted I jUST got the Luz one a little ago but to be fair Im. hm. picky? when it comes to detail and Ive always seen her hoodie as purbl #so thats why I ordered right away when they started manufacturing Luz in purbl instead of the blue. I also just never got the hexside #uniformed ones cuz. uh. money? Ig. lmao I dont really remember since its actually been a while. Kinda regret it but who knows! #Maybe theyll restock it or someone could sell their own one day. I did just see a S1 Ams plush go for sale. so. ehhuh. #hg. times like these I wish they made a Gus and Matty plush set ghhehgvvvv. IMAGINE A GUS PLUSH IF YOU WOULD!!!! #Granted I dont think we've seen Matty in an actual casual fit so he'd either hafta be in Hexside uniform or the fit he wore in TTLGR. #Which. Mighta? been his casual? outfit? uh. hm. In my mind I kept thinking that was his previous Glandus uni but Im not sure now LMAO #anyways w for huntlow. even if ya dont like it then hey an actually well made (and actually made) Willow and Hunter plush! #THO. HEADS UP. LMAO ITLL BE 120 FOR THE SET FHSBABSBW #yea I paid about 67 for my Luz plush and the Lumity set was like. 120 without shipping fees dfjwbsb #all cool tho. after all it is commission work! #dude I just love plushies. My sonic one is on the way argh argh argh. #I need to hold myself back from stimming cause more cool stuff like plushes for toh gets me really happy and excited djahb #but yea!!!!! hell yea!!!!!!! HELL YES DUDE!!!! FINALLY WILLOW MERCH!!!! also merch for gringito 👌 #OH LMAO I bet Mr. Zeno Robinson is gunna somehow get 1. He deserves it #uh oh. lookin at these tags. I may have. whats the word. uh. infodumped? I dunno but I rambled a lot about this cuz Im actually excited #for this. BUT THEYRE SUCH A GREAT PLUSH maker ofc I would!!!! I wonder what designs they'd use tho. okay I should stop. bef. brgore I #before I ramble again too much rjaqnnqwn

[catboybrain]

sniffles sadly. every day im so sad that fnaf didnt go with placing vanny into aftons role.... god forbid women do anything ! ! !

#just saw gtlive finish the first ending n like. urgh #maybe if i liked eclipse more i wouldnt mind how prevalent they r but woof man #like i get it its charlie and evil baby or whatever in the same body but come onnnnn #that and the candy cadet stories just bashing the same kid going into woods framework into the ground #i miss when it was like. this dude sewed 5 kittens together! this lady melted 7 keys! stuff like that yk that was different and scarier #i do rlly think the series is going toward this like polished marketable thing instead of the grimy sludge i liked .... </3 and the AI stuf #is sooooo boring like fuuuuck its so boring. i wouldnt mind if its charliebots bc at least theyre interesting !!!! #but mimic as the new villian? bro. dude. thats so boring come on... afton was interesting bc he was fucked up severly #and robots r just like. theyre just robots dude its not even scary its just a thing being programmed smh #without the afton behind it its kinda just ..... bleh #honestly i wish they would cap the story? like make vanny take aftons role; do some shit; end it in a tragic but cathartic way #and then if they want to make more games do either other families in universe (like fazbear frights) or prequels/ world building shit like #something set in circus babys pizza world or w/e .i mean you could argue its about cassie now but if her dad is bonnie bro we're still stuc #in the afton central place. and i dont like that hteyre moving on without wrapping up the 102938120 loose ends they already made URGH ! ! #is it too much to ask for a fnaf game thats crusty round the edges and really metaphorical for theorists to dig into but logical enough it #can be solved and also creates a good plotline . yeah i guess hell will freeze over before that #d.txt #sorry im sooooo normal about fnaf <- is abnormal. fuhnaffs theories r GREAT thoguh i love that guy he makes me happy about the franchise :o

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

At the movie theater and nearly falling asleep, but I snore really bad so I can't risk it, but I am so fucking exhausted it might just happen.

#today was a nice Christmas #my roommate gave me a gorgeous purple and white dice set #calling her my roommate feels weird but idk if she would describe us as friends so forever she will be my roommate tbh #but yeah i gave her a calendar with kushroom pictures and facts on it and she gave me a dice set and it was so lovely #my sibling gave me a mystery bag of dice sets and some sword earrings #i fucking love the sword earrings #my mom got me some earrings and sour cherry tic tacs and my dad got mr a mindfulness journal #it was nice. really nice #but god im so tired #our dog has been waking up several times a night to go to the bathroom #i havent gotten an uninterrupted sleep for weeks #we try to take him out later at night. we give him dinner hours before bedtime #but still. every night #barking to take him out #im in the bathroom rn #i dont want to go back into the theater. im gonna fall asleep #and then snore and ruin everyone's Christmas

[xaymak]

i think about asian link all the time. theyre asian to me like... "oh its not realistic theyre pale and blue eyed and blond" do u wanna know whats unrealistic. in the legend of zelda series thats fantasy/adventure. the way no ones just moved out of hyrule already just make a bridge and leave!!!! place keeps getting overrun!!! leave!!!!!!!!

#loz #once someone said i draw my links weird. they have such soft jaws. wide noses. angled eyes. what could it possibly be i wonder #things that drive me insane. balls to the walls apeshit #i still have a screenshot of that convo bc it was so nuts to me. its like i didnt periodically talk about it in the lu server w them #and my hcs kept getting hijacked by ppl talking about scottish westerner link hcs like thats nice! love u have ur hcs!! but cmon. #every single time. every? single time? #even in the lu au server when i was detailing out like hey this au is based on an explicitly set in japan game so like. theyre japanese #oh nooo theyre white and irish and scottish and welsh to you. congrats but now isnt the time to say that?? #i think a lot of my lu experiences wouldve gone better if ppl were more. socialized #not in the neurotypical way of whatever that nonsense is but in the. yes showing engagement by relating ur own hcs is fine #but also express interest in what im saying instead of just taking over the convo to talk about ur own take only without acknowledging me #god. once i was like trans link! and someone came up and said thats an hc i dont like bc when canon not trans are trans my brain goes brr #the way they said it was so . ??. u come into My Channel in My Category for My AU and say #god bless their heart they were Trying i think. bc they did say they wanted to keep an open mind. but Really?????????? #i dont always communicate the best either so i try not to be harsh or bitchy abt it. but man. man. #i got off topic again. theyre asian to me. theres no norway or germany in hyrule and probably not japan either so its a moot point but #theyre asian!! thanks.

[orcelito]

Great to know my mind can still break by someone standing a Little too close to me for a Little too long

#speculation nation #im fine but i had to flee lab bc lmao #feeling like a small prey animal bc ppl kept getting too close to me and that is. bad. #what i need is to hole up in a small solitary place with music blasting. i dont really have that here. #gonna go do some stuff at work tho and i may have to take a like 15 min solitude sit in storage to set my mind right #i wasnt making any progress in lab anyways. this isnt due for another few weeks so it's fine. #ykno id like to blame covid for my neurotic prey animal reaction to ppl getting close to me but nah #ive been like this since Long before that. but it certainly didnt help anything :) #in fact the public commitment (for the most part) to social distancing helped this anxiety quite a bit #but now no one is scared of covid anymore which means they get too close to me and i end up like a neurotic prey animal. woo. #too many voices talking too many people in a small area even my music wasnt helping bc i was still Aware of them #hell. hell world. hellllll world. #i hate small lab spaces oh my god. #anyways off to work with me 🙂👍

[blueslight]

👎

#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy #and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would #lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for #evidently not making it clear enough to her #cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean #and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my #composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im #in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite #and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses #my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her #and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other #friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP.. #plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes #got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy .. #and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that #is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help #and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further #and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE #GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING #idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be #friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like #Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me #and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly #like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...

[found-the-secrets-in-your-eyes]

fuck anorexia fuck this fuck this so bad are you fucking kidding me fuck fuck fuck this

an//rexia / an//mi// blogs don't fucking interact with this I block on sight. you posting your "journey" with your restriction does nothing but encourage others to fall into their own sickness and im fucking tired of it.

#tw ana #tw ed #that was so scary and so embarrassing #i fucking #FUCK #that honestly might be the second worst thing to ever happen in my life #so ofc i set the stage for u all because i cant help but overshare online #scene: airport security line. my stomach starts hurting like CRAP i feel like im gonna fucking shit myself but i cant run to the bathroom #bc im in line and the bathroom is after security #and i havent eaten in like. a day. #and so i recognize this feeling right #but i cant do anything about it but my anxiety sure wants to because all of a sudden i cant BREATHEE #like i could not get air into my lungs #and my stomach still hurts #and then i cant see and im like #ohhh fuck im going to pass out #i manage to get my jacket and shoes off for tsa but i dont even make it through the metal detector before psssing out #mind you #this is my first time away from home and my family and i already had a panic attack about this like two days ago #so tsa pulls up a chair for me and i sit down and luckily my dad was next to me because i still couldnt breathe or see and apparently i was #pale #and then just to top things off they call the paramedics meaning i cant use the restroom and then i finally can and i almost miss boarding #my flight #curtain

[miscellaneous--bones]

self care

#note when i say this is real self care for me #my emotions come late when its big things like what my life has been latley #and im finally feeling all of That today #but i am still busy #so even though i dont tend to let myself express those emotions around others/with out privacy #giving myself time to do stuff like this where im set up and alone and can just let my body and mind do what they gotta do #is honest to god self care #i dont think i want comfort or messages rn just to be left be so on a Real Note just lemme post my funny and ill be okay #dw abt me too much ik how to take care of me :) #art #doodles #vent #meeee