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#i literally cant. and im not good at handling the fact that i cant do much
pulchrasilva · 21 days
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Having people you care about who are suicidal while you're not suicidal is truly a special torture I think I want to go back to wanting to kill myself im gonna throw up
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britneyshakespeare · 5 months
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you know i mentioned last night that i realized only *after* i started rereading david copperfield that since i recently became an aunt, i was gonna see the story from a whole new angle and start relating more to betsey trotwood. i didn't even think about how at salem house i was gonna be poor mr. mell...
#i mean i didnt really think about mr. mell much because he's more of a minor character#he doesnt come back throughout david's life like steerforth or traddles or emily or agnes or#or or or all these other dozen major characters#in fact i only think of salem house as a minor part of the book. the shit we gotta get through to get to aunt betsey again#in a sense i cant wait to be done with it again#but oh my god reading about the rowdy schoolroom and how he's hardly managing to handle his stress#MEEEEE!!!!!! ME AN EDUCATOR#diana rereads david copperfield#literally just let me fucking play my flute badly in peace#you know i really have grown up a lot in the past 5 years bc all the adults used to just be caricatures to me#in the sense that all of dickens' characters are kind of caricatures. theyre exaggerated and silly#whether theyre supposed to be archetypal good or bad people.#because the way dickens uses hyperbole. sometimes it's just too true!#like the assholery of steerforth. how disingenuous but charming and persuasive he can be#that is SO true to how it feels to look up to older people as a young child. david copperfield's yielding to him is so realistic#david copperfield's own childish innocence throughout the early chapters seems comical but is emotionally true to how childhood feels.#these were the parts of the novel that resonated with me very deeply at 19. and they still do#but oh now. now i understand the position of the working adults. especially since i work w kids now how different it all feels.#and have worked w kids for several years too. but only about a year after reading dc. actually almost 2 years#im one of the bumbling incompetent adults. oh dear. oh lord.
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nexttothelamp · 8 months
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<3
#hot damn#i dont usually come here to write about good things but#god damn i caught myself SINGING again#SINGING#...i used to do that all the time. always have. it might even be like a stimming thing for me#...i dont know when i got so sick i stopped. in fact i didnt notice the lack of it until i just caught myself doing it#im only seven days into recovery after 2 lomg miserable years and im already starting to come back i think#honestly i dare not think it. i cant handle the disappointment again#but the brain fog was gone aftrr 3 days#18 months of my brain being slow and thick and never getting my point across#stutter and speech tick becoming infinitely worse#and then it was just... gone#7 days#7 days and im singing again#i fell to my knees the moment i realized and literally just. sobbed#im never gonna take anything for granted again. this was more than a wake up call#this is a new beginning for me I think#fuck. only 7 days#today is also the first day in over a year i ate fresh things instead of fast food. no fast food at all today!#the first time i almost burned down the house i stopped cooking. the first time I accidentally cut myself I stopped cutting fruits n veggies#but i cooked today. i ate kiwis and fish and asparagus and im gonna go make more fish and maybe a pot of potato soup#gonna go clean a whole tub of strawberries and eat them all at once right off the leaf#i am going to peel a cucumber and deep throat that motherfucker. 2 bites max im tellin ya#fuck. i'll never take it for granted again im gonna use this life to do as much good as i can#....im too scared to say im actually getting better. cuz what if this is just like last time. what if my last 2 MRIs pick up something?#what if this is just another calm before the storm and im about to live through some new fresh hell i didnt think i could sink to?#...but im seven days into recovery#and today i started singing again#and thats not nothing#id say delete later but i wont
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jvzebel-x · 1 year
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🦋
#LMAO I FUCKING CANT.#so missionaries came to my doorstep-- which is literally just hilarious. even more hilarious? one of them was from hawaii.#they ask about my religion&i tell them bc i dont see any point not to&the yt man speaking to me tells me#he was a surfer back in the day so--&this is a literal quote-- 'i went to hawaii&heard it all as a haole on the beach'#remember this is literally entirely unprompted from a missionary who knocked on my door in response to my answering a question#about my religion. so why did this come up? probably the same reason that he then went to on to ask me what would happen if HE wanted#to join my religion&when i answer 'you would probably have to handle that yourself as religion is entirely personal'#he literally stands there w no answer before going 'well our church accepts EVERYONE no matter what theyve done'#&--again this is a direct quote-- 'we have ppl who have done blood sacrifices to their ancestors who have found the REAL god' LMAO.#he then started talking about how the neighboring apartment complex has a primarily east european community?#like with actual statistics bc appartently he just knows that the next apartment complex over is 80% yt immigrants?#not entirely sure how they had anything at all to do w anything so thats around when i stopped laughing openly at him#&told him my neighbors were coming up the stairs&i found taking up the entire staircase to be incredibly rude#so they needed to get the fuck out lmao&the missionary from hawaii-- who had said almost nothing the whole time lmao--#wouldnt look me in the eye while telling me thank you for my time probably bc he now had to continue doing missionary work#w a man who spent a solid five minutes trying to prove im racist&exclusionay as a default#literally ONLY bc im hawaiian v traditional about it&proud as FUCK about all those facts#whiiiiich only made him look&sound. fucking TERRIBE lmao.#anyway its good to know that several hundreds of years later&a move away from my colonized home where yt missionaries destroyed my culture#i STILL cant fucking get away from yt missionaries&their ABHORRENT behaviour lmao.#i need to start checking who the fuck is at my door before opening it.#or at the v least start letting roxy just fucking tear ppl like this to shreds like she wants bc their vibes are so rank#my dog can't stand at my side w/o her ridge going so far up she doesnt NEED to growl to get the point across lmao.
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perenlop · 2 years
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idk heres like a positive post. i love reincarnation tropes, theyre hard to get right i feel like bc its easy to go “this character is special bc they’re a reincarnation of this important figure in history and not bc of their own merits!” but on the other hand they have a lot of potential and i love them in like a whole “this character deserves a second chance at life” or “this character may or may not be doomed bc of their past life” deal
#when i say ''sometimes its not handled well'' im kinda. mostly just thinking of wc tbh#the cinderheart plotline shouldve been my jam bc i love cinderpelt and reincarnation but it was so messy and ableist#bc cinderpelt wasnt forced to be a medicine cat she came to that conclusion on her own that thats what she wanted#but forget that shes actually super tragic and deserves a second chance where shes not disabled aka can be a wife and mother#bc disabled ppl cant marry or have kids (ok i know thats a leap but considering most disabled characters arent allowed to have kids...)#and then the three all being reincarnations is bullshit i really hate that bc its literally not important at ALL#its a fun fact at best thats treated as this massive revelation like ''oh of COURSE youre special youre reincarnated of these guys!''#and its never brought up again and the characters in question are nobody special and its like. WHY#but that series did plant the idea of like really good arcs. i remember i had like a wc fanfiction where after the dark forest battle#tigerstar hawkfrost and brokenstar were all reincarnated and given a chance to not be evil basically bc theyre#not in the same environment but oughhh how much of their previous lives still remainoouuu is it in their nature#if i were to reboot that. well it wouldnt be a wc fic anymore lol. but if i were to do that then id like to really get into those questions#and like. how to break the cycle. how much of their previous lives were driven by their own hate and how much of it#was the environment they were raised in (like literally having ur gods go ''YOURE EVIL YOURE EVIL YOURE EVIL'' to ur doctors)#echoed voice
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diordeer · 3 months
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౨ৎ FALSE GOD
“we might just get away with it, the altar is my hips, even if it's a false god. we'd still worship this love” - taylor swift (smau)
contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they both play in the false god music video
description: kind of obsessed with the band ‘sorry’ rn which is crazy bc its totally not my kind of music
requested by: anon!
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Liked by gracieabrams, blakelively and others
taylorswift dont miss false god, coming out tonight 12AM EST
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user1 I already love it… the colour scheme!!
user2 ok but WHO is in it because i know for a fact that isn’t taylor swifts hair
blakelively cant wait!! 🩷
user3 WE’D STILL WORSHIP THIS LOVEE
user4 i dont think i will be able to handle this
user5 whooos hands are thessee 👀
↳ user6 ikrr 🤭
gracieabrams ahhh this is so excitinggg!!
user7 i can already feel the vision
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comments:
user1 CHARLIE AND YN CHARLIE AND YN CHARLIE AND YN
↳ user2 THEY ARE SO PERFECT
user3 taylor NEVER misses!
user4 this is changing lives
↳ user2 not only is it changing lives, its bringing people back from the dead!!
user5 the SECOND i saw charlie i dropped to my KNEES
↳ user4 on my knees for Charlie AND yn, literally a sexuality nightmare
↳ user5 SERIOUSLY
user6 how do i make this mv my personality
↳ user7 my exact thoughts
user8 yn looks GORGEOUS in this literally ethereal
↳ user7 she makes me wonder things about myself i never thought i would
user9 worshipping this mv
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Liked by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others
yn.ln go watch false god… RN!
tagged iamcharliebushnell, taylorswift
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user1 if u havent already rewatched it atleast thirteen times what are you doing with ur life
↳ yn.ln i vouch to this
user2 taylor is so cute!
user3 u were MAJESTIC in this
iamcharliebushnell had so much fun with uu
↳ yn.ln ur the besssttt!!! Cant wait to see u again soon!!!
user5 charlie and yn have such good on screen chemistry i actually cant get over it
↳ user3 BEGGING they r like that irl together
↳ user5 IMAGINE IF THEY WERE DATING
dior.n.goodjohn i feel like there should be context to the last pic
↳ yn.ln it was a live reaction of me finding out i had to make out with charlie 🤢🤢
↳ iamcharliebushnell oh because it was SOO horrible?
↳ user4 WHAT DO U MEAN CHARLIE
↳ yn.ln WOW WOW WOW NOT NECESSARY
↳ user6 i see a little smile in that photo 🤨
↳ user7 u cant say theres nothing going on between them
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Liked by yn.ln, dior.n.goodjohn and others
iamcharliebushnell had the best time working on this music video with everyone!!
tagged yn.ln, taylorswift
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user1 him in the last photo… LAWD HAVE MERCCYYY
↳ user5 OMG IKRRR
↳ yn.ln its so the shirt
↳ user1 u agree then? 🤨🤨
↳ iamcharliebushnell guess i should wear it more then
walker.scobell you were great!
↳ iamcharliebushnell this seems very passive aggressive
user2 can we talk ab the outfits in this tho?! Like so so gorgeous
↳ user7 PREACH! THE DRESSES?! THE SHIRTS?!
user3 working with “everyone”… we all know hes talking about working with yn
↳ yn.ln im just so amazing and loveable🤷‍♀️
user4 tell me theres nothing going on between them… I DARE
dior.n.goodjohn i cant believe YOU get to be in a taylor swift music video
↳ iamcharliebushnell i cant tell if this is a compliment or not
↳ yn.ln just take it as a compliment babe, dont question it 🥰
↳ user6 BABE?!
taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities
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literatifanatic · 21 days
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jess mariano rant
FIRST AND FOREMOST can we talk about how no one remembers that jess's mom literally sent him to an uncle he'd never met because she "couldn't handle him" and how he was just expected to say it was it is and move the fuck on like he didn't just leave his home, friends, and everything he ever knew and im speaking from experience because I've moved like 6 times and hated my parents each time for it because it's the worst experience and ESPECIALLY when everyone in the town already hates you because you look a certain way and he was fucking 17 like guys any teenager with family issues would act like that tf?? and he didn't even do anything THAT bad because i know for sure if rory and Lane had stolen money from taylor for shits and giggles lorelai would've defended her and SPEAK OF THE FUCKING DEVIL lorelai hated jess so much for absolutely no reason other than the fact that (AGAIN A TEENAGER WITH TRAUMA) said something mean to the queen of stars hollow and obviously we all know that she hated him because she WAS him but even that i dont agree with 100% because jess had it so so SO incredibly worse, like no father, mother who married so many guys and divorced and lost all of their money and house which probably made them homeless A LOT of times like lorelai obviously had family issues but jess had it worse so she can't really act like she gets him because she doesn't.
and everyone likes to bring up the fact that he got mad when she wouldn't have sex with him and he literally didn't???? what show are you watching tf and his character development UGH ITS SO GOOD the high school drop out whom known has ever believed in is probably the most successful person in his whole family and that's why ladies and gentlemen (i still have so much more to say but i cant write it because my brain is faster than I type) jess mariano is the best character and best everything in the show
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borzoilover69 · 14 days
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I *need* the 3 paragraph essay on davejake. They give me brainworms, please
Alright here it is, me rambling at length about davejake to some person, now copy pasted on tumblr!
So as you already know (or dont) i often frame dave and jake hanging out as clubbing buddies. That's all there is to their relationship. My personal headcanon is that dave is such a loser postgame. I think he would fall out with karkat because he doesnt know how to clean up after himself and gets more aloof and sort of a jackass down the line (count it on bad parenting!!) and it pisses off karkat so bad they dont have a tumultuous breakup they just sort of fizzle out bcus both of them dont have the balls or the energy to tell the other its over they just sort of stop talking. 
It doesnt just impact his relationship with Karkat, I imagine he'd fall out with a lot of his friends because it's okay to be an insufferable prick when youre 13 or 16 but less so when youre in your 20s. This would especially impact his relationship with John. If you look at it from a subjective opinion, its a wonder they ended up friends in the first place. They have different interests, contrasting personalities, and different ideas of fun. I like the idea that John would have depression postgame, and I think that Dave just wouldnt know how to handle it at all, doesnt really know how to connect. Theyd be stuck in this thing where they can't think of a single good thing about the other when they're apart, but when they're togehter it's fine. You know its bad when you dont have literally anything to talk abt with your best friend. hes totally indifferent to any of daves comments on politics or the ilk. 
Dave understands that time and relationships dont go well at all he cant stay in touch with old friends, but also doesnt really desire cant new friends, stuck perpetually in limbo.
and thats the thing sort of the same with jake. jake hits it off big but realising so many people want him and desire to be around him makes him lose touch with his old group so hes grown distant too, theyd get along because they dont care enough to know the other on a deeper level and it suits them just fine.  like they might wonder but thatd open a pandoras box.  
For Dave it’s the fact that Jake doesn’t show outward opposition to his brand of bullshit, and doesn’t ask nor desires to get deep with him, so it’s fine. Here for a good time not for a long time.  They can do all the things that dirk is too much of a shut-in prude to do. (Same goes for John) and just hangout. Hookup a few times. 
For Jake, Dave is a strider (something he likes) and again, doesn’t ask and isn’t someone who wants to get deep with him which suits him just fine because Dave can be fun if they’re doing something fun and Jake doesn’t want to go alone. Which he doesn’t. Jake English is the type of guy to fill his entire schedule just to avoid talking to people one on one that hes known for a long time (doesn’t want to get intimate just wants to have a lot to talk about with no qualms.) 
Like he also doesn’t want to know Dave on a personal level but he can convince the guy to go on benders because Dave has nothing really going for him and they can bitch about their selective friend groups w/o it coming back to bite both of them in the ass due to them obviously not going to tell the others about it.  Which is great. For them. 
Its funny as hell to imagine them helping each other but they genuinely do not give a fuck about that at all. Funny In the glaringly not endgame our friend groups both sort of ditched us but we sort of also enabled that to happen (we lack the ability to try hard at it for too long without getting uncomfortable) and base level of similiartiy that doesn’t show signs of fluctuating so as long as they’re generally entertaining and on board to party and do fun things they are friends and or in relations (complicated and a sworn open secret) to each other.
Honestly it’s likee canon. To me. Im a big fan of less than conventional relationships. A lot of the fun comes from exploring the lengths they would go to stave off boredom in the face of immortality and  trying to stave off having a deep conversation or revelation while tiptoeing around issues they have with others and with themselves through a safe haze of vices. Like they’d get close to it but get interrupted. 
Dave and Jake are silly as heck. Love those goobers. Their relationship to Dirk is purely they know to not fuck with each other because it’d genuinely upset dirk really bad but they do it anyway. And it’s true they see attributes of their best friend in the other with added benefits of them not being so uptight as their best friends from childhood. 
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TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD
STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS
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picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health
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“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”
jeremy u flirt
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do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?
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oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10
if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.
if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.
i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.
sending lots of love to all of u
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wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?
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It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.
fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene
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Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”
jean moreau u are so loved
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“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”
THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE
ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING
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Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.
jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him
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betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug
and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-
“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.
CHAPTER TWELVEE
dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading
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“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.
king is fed uppp
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“It’s not about size, anyway.” ​“Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. ​Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.
OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U
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“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”
GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN
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“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”
now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact
“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,
this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash
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“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” ​“Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”
NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP
YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON
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CHAPTER 13333
jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him
meanwhile jean:
Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.
sureee buddy
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They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.
well that is definitely an outfit!
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“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”
EXCUSE ME
this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships
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ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER
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‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’
uhhhhh…
i don’t know how to tell u this buddy
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dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy
chapter 14!!!
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Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” ​Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” ​Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.
oh jean we’ll get there eventually
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Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.
OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE
MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR
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SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE
“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”
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“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”
“Neither am I.”
TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST
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everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept
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kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life
they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply
He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” ​“I will wait as long as it takes,”
“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”
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“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. ​“Obsessed,” Jeremy
exy fiend kevin day representation
also
“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil
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She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.
this is the love jean deserves
chapter 15:
“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”
jean i love u
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Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,
he’s so me
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“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”
THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR
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i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:
due to egregious injuries.” ​Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.
it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character
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“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. ​“Denied,” White said.
SCREAMING
THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT
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JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT
catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u
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jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world
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So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.
oh god don’t do this to me
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Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.
beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate
A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.
A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS
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SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO
“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”
starting off strong
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You’re one of my kids now.
don’t mind me i’m just sobbing
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no no no no no no no no no
holy shit no what the fucking fuck
don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now
actually dreading reading on right now
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um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read
i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing
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Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” ​“I do not want you to look.” ​It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,
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only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him
chapter 17 the finale:
feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book
please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau
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nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???
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i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007
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jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god
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“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?
stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?
stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i
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Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”
NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER
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Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.
devouring these scraps about my boy
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YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY
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Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day
- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us
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The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”
oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book
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“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”
to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together
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“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”
my hero
Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,
i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph
Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” ​“Shut up and get in the car.”
i wish neil josten was real
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He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated
FUCK THE GOVERNMENT
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Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”
he’s everything to me 🥰
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“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.
and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”
- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn
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ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope
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“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”
oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud
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“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”
THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE
all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon
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i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do
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best friends ❤️
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jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him
A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS
!!!!!
I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK
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cardcaptorr · 5 months
Note
Can i ask you for advice on how did u handle accepting u had to break up? :,,,) bc I think I'm experience ur same situation but we also still love eachother so much and its not easy at all to think about closing this chapter
I kind of woke up one day and realized I can't live like this anymore. that day, I still wasn't sure I wanted to break up, because breaking up was truly my biggest fear. I was so scared that day, but I realized that as scared as I am of breaking up, I'm also scared of staying together and being exactly where we are now in 5 years.
also, for a while, I thought we had to stay together because those 4 years would "go to waste" if we broke up. and I talked to my friend about it- and literally told her the reason we absolutely *cant* break up is because I truly believe it would be throwing away 4 years of my life. she told me something along the lines of: it's not a waste. this relationship existed and your memories together always will. the memories will always be there. it's not a waste because you learned so much, you had so many amazing times together, and you can still appreciate the relationship for what it was & not regret anything, all while realizing that it's time to walk away.
it changed my whole perspective knowing that those 4 years truly were not a waste. and I was able to make peace with the fact that we will not be making new memories together, but we have enough amazing memories for me to cherish and that's enough.
love really isn't enough sometimes. If we had stayed together, our relationship would have gotten stale. I know we love each other but I think we didn't like each other very much.... and continuing the relationship like this would be doing us both a disservice, and it would have tainted all the good times. sometimes you have to end it before it gets worse.
its 1:40 am and im so tired lol i hope this made sense and wasnt just a ramble~ good luck to you, sending u love 💗
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toomanyopinionss · 7 months
Text
I want to talk about
Surviving Summer
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(nonspoiler/spoiler)
hey y’all, it’s been a minute since i’ve done one of these. let’s get into it…😏
So i genuinely like this show. Just finished watching the second season, in fact.
I feel like it’s the good amount of cheesy and adorable and mind numbing without being too formulaic and basic like some of these Netflix originals tend to be. Now it can be annoying and cringy sometimes, don’t get me wrong. But it’s got some pretty good actors and actresses with enough heartfelt moments and playful scenes to make one feel content. She’s not a top ten, but she never tries to be, you know??
As for the show itself? Surviving Summer is the perfect name for it, because Summer the character? a HOT mess. I cannot stress this enough, the frontal lobes on that one are not fully formed. It’s especially apparent in season 1. Even so, i love her 🥰. I cant help it ok? She has the confidence that i dreamed of having in high school, and now tbh.
I won’t go to deep into every character, but let me just say this: they will ALL annoy you at some point. It’s so obvious that they’re teenagers, cuz they childish. But they all care about each other most of the time, and surfing. It’s a great summer watch! go for it, don’t be shy
7.5/10. Surface level fun with shenanigans galore and annoying teenagers.
SPOILERS
Y’all the second season was gooood. I liked it better than the first tbh. Summer, like i said before was much more serious and focused, but it didn’t change her personality at all, which i loved.
I liked how they got more into Bodhi’s conflicts with surfing and the racism in the industry on her end. If anything, i wish they had time to do even more with it. Because everything else they did with her character this season was just bleh. A half hearted conflict between poppy blown WAY out of proportion and a half assed queer relationship that was cute but barely touched on because hottake Netflix hates their wlws and their black main characters 🤭(oop who said that)
Poppy and marlon were cuteeeee. sidenote, who else forgot that bodhi and marlon had a thing, cuz i sho did 👀. they have such good chemistry and it just warmed my heart. SPEAKING of good chemistry…
✨“summer have you seen yourself?”
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summer and baxter are the only mf choice, im SORRY.
immediately side eyeing anyone who says that summer and ari should be together, because i’m not sure you and i watch the same show. another steaming take, but I never bought into summer and ari. they are too sibling for me. i was taken ABACK when they kissed in season one. I genuinely did not see it coming. they play off each other nicely, but in a romantic way? NOPE, i don’t buy it.
but from the first scene with baxter and summer, i knew. it was intense. the casual touches, the instant bind they formed, the way bax looks at her 🤭…
you cannot compete where you don’t compare, Ari is not the one 🤷🏾‍♀️
anyone else? hmmm…
oh, y’all join me in a big FVCK you to Elo and Wren. they both suck actual ass and i hate them both.
it’s the way that they treat everyone like shit equally. even their own brother? like what the fvck is wrong with them?
like especially wren. being jealous and overly competitive is one thing. but they way she handled the bodhi situation, plus the way she outed her old teammate? literally bordering on racist and homophobic like wtffff. maybe a lil psychotic too, cuz why is she literally a threat to summer’s life? don’t take it out on her cuz your boyfriend is an indecisive disaster. at least they didn’t give wren a redemption, i would have been so pissed off like fvck her.
ok this is getting long. tldr, Season 2 was entertaining and fun. poppy and marlon were cute, summer was awesome, ari does not need a girlfriend, justice for baxter, and wren and elo will not be seeing the pearly gates.
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cy-cyborg · 1 month
Text
So going to turn the tables here a bit and ask other disabled people a question:
You know those really over-the-top sports animes? The ones where someone hits the ball so hard it explodes and other out-there (but usually fun) nosense things? Could you do that with disability sports without it becoming inspiration-porn and/or just an entire cast of super-crips?
Because on the one hand, yeah if you had disabled characters doing a lot of the stuff you see in these anime series, it would be pretty blatant examples of these tropes. On the other hand though, it's literally a defining part of the genre (at least, it's in all the sports anime I've seen) and by definition, it is applied to non-disabled characters too. One of the biggest problems with both super-crips and inspiration porn is that they end up with those powers/plot-points specifically because they're disabled, which wouldn't necessarily be the case here if it's handled well. Using wheelchair basketball players for example (becaaue its the sport i played lol), by the tropes of the genre, their shots can cause explosions and summon magic dragons but so long as its not erasing/minimising their disability/implying they cant play without the over-the-top magic stuff, it might be fine? Likewise, every sports anime I've seen has at least one big inspirational speech about the power of teamwork and never giving up, but you could have chatacters do that without it being about their disability/uplifting the non-disabled characters. the big concern there would be the audience interpreting it as being inspirational because they're disabled anyway.
There's also the fact that, while it might fall into those tropes, disability sports don't get portrayed as action-packed very often. The only times I've seen it on TV it's portrayed as "like [insert abled version of the sport] but slow and requires no skill" and honestly it would be really cool to see it portrayed in such a fun, over-the-top way. it could also help push back against the misconceptions about disability sports that a lot of people have, like the one above (because trust me, as a former disabled sportsperson, that's a common beleif irl too).
This is mostly a jokey post but I remeber having this conversation with my old roomate (who's also a wheelchair basketball player) because there was a rumour about a sports-anime-style game about the paralypics circulating when we lived together. I assume the rumour was false or the game was cancelled because we never heard anything about it after that, but we couldn't come to a consensus back then either about weather this was a good idea or not, and im curious what other disabled folks think.
With careful handling (and a disabled-lead writing team behind the scenes) could it work, or are the tropes/expectations of the sports-anime genre too much of an issue?
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papakhan · 8 months
Note
Lol why would someone even say that. Like... idk im transmasc im personally mortified of the idea of getting pregnant but... its none of my business if another man wants to be pregnant why would there be any judgement there 😭😭😭 plus the post was very funny people need to stop projecting over a sillay little post. Have a good night king the haters dont get it
the thing is I totally understand trans guys being uncomfortable with the concept of (trans) men getting pregnant. In our society its a very gendered concept, it gets fetishised by weirdos online all the time and to a lot of (especially queer) afab people its strongly associated with control and abuse. I totally get it. That was me not so long ago but after a lot of research I became more comfortable with it because I want to have children one day. I shouldn't have to expose this part of myself as a defence against people calling me transphobic when I am literally trans and half the fight for trans people is "my body my choice"
what gets me is that the tumblr fallout community gets in this fucking argument allll the fucking time over whether the fallout universe should be "dark and gritty and ~realistic~" in regards to Everyone being transphobic Or if the wasteland should be some kind of trans haven without the binds of society. I personally lean on the latter and get a lot of comfort out of the idea that the Great Khans specifically are a bastion of trans joy and experience and to them women having dicks and men giving birth is just. normal.
the end goal for trans people should be to de-gender concepts like pregnancy and penis but we're never gonna fucking get anywhere if trans people project their dysphoria onto each other and start self-flagellating themselves whenever someone steps out of line or makes a stupid joke.
And yeah this is an overreaction to someone critising a stupid post of mine but I'm more mad at the wider culture of the fallout community (and tumblr) regarding this topic because like I said shit like this keeps happening. part of my job is about educating people about trans bodies and saying shit like "don't assume who can and can't get pregnant" and trying to help fellow trans people find comfort in a country that's actively trying to get them all murdered. To then log onto tumblr dot com and get called transphobic because I said I love headcanoning Papa as trans and him being able to deflect the Legion's misogyny because of his transness is like a slap to the face. you guys are meant to be the transgender love website what the fuck are you talking about?? Also Saying that I'm enabling transphobia by allowing people who arent trans men to reblog my post is also stupid and for the record most people in my notes right now are either trans people who are genuinely agreeing that Papa is trans or ghost fans who think I'm talking about their band (but are still trans and still agreeing).
sure maybe I should have put a trigger warning on the post or something because it might trigger someone's dyphoria, but just say that. Don't act like I'm the problem and that I'm too stupid to recognise internalised transphobia and calling me "too comfortable with joking about trans bodies" when 1. I wasn't joking About trans bodies and 2. ITS MY FUCKING BODY
My joke was about how Caesar cant handle Papa being trans. it was a joke about how society cant handle trans people who they can't clock. it was also a joke about how Papa comes from a society where transness is so normalised that he wrongfully assumes that its something everyone can do. At no point was I "nasty about trans bodies" like this person claims I was. In fact I think that pretending that I was says more about how they view trans bodies than it does about how I do, That I can mention trans pregnancy and they automatically assume I'm fetishing or being disrespectful.
anyway. that's a lot of shit. thanks for letting me ramble and tucking me into bed so sweetly <3
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literaphobe · 8 months
Note
no but SPEAK YOUR TRUTH re: fandom Marichat... I see so much of Angsty Forbidden Lovers Pining Sexily and I am confused??? Why make Chat Noir a strong dark brooding dude (I mean yeah he is brooding but he also is goofy af about it) and Marinette a damsel in distress (she IS dramatic BUT she is also a Disaster Baby Girl and Everyday Ladybug and Literal Ladybug, she can handle herself). It seems like some people need this 'romantic' hetero dynamic so badly to work that they change characterizations that are well established in canon. and like, no shame for that, but I feel like it takes away what is so precious about their relationship/s and the whole love square dynamic. IMO the truth is that Marichat are silly bisexual friends that bicker and go to the movies and sometimes they fake date or practice love confessions. Marinette gives Chat Noir shit but in a friendly way because she doesn't have to be 'professional' and Chat Noir wants to impress Marinette because... you know. Even as Chat Noir he thinks Marinette is brilliant and the funniest person ever. And they are in love (see Elation) but so are ALL sides of the love square so duh. thanks for coming to my TED talk let me know what you think!!!
chat noir is so dark brooding and strong but hes ALSO got a serious case of the SILLIES!!!!! he's got all this repressed fury and rage but he's also full of love and tender care. sweetness. he is a complex character that the Larger Fandom Space likes to hack away and throw archetypes onto. similarly, marinette is a one-woman wrecking crew. whether she's transformed or not. she IS constantly in distress and god help her someone save her. but NOT in the way that Larger Fandom Space thinks. those people saw chat carry marinette away from danger and run away Once and decided thats all they were and that they are the only side of the love square that does that. dsghs
marichat actually contains multitudes and is so fun to work with, think about, and analyze. but they get hit with the no fun straight people beam and suddenly All She Is is some weak helpless girl who can't do anything and needs to be saved and All He Is is some guy who won't stop calling her Princess and like idk growling and. whatever else they want. and then they say stuff like True Selves and act like the other sides are unhealthy and only marichat is healthy or whatever. and then depict them unhealthily. i just dont know man. im like everywhere bro except for like wattpad and i do not wanna know how they depict marichat THERE
in all honesty, marichat AREN'T by default their 'true selves' around each other. obviously this is due to the fact that all sides of the love square have stuff to hide from each other. but i would even go so far as to ascertain that (especially in) Early Stages of marichat interactions, they are trying to portray their most INAUTHENTIC selves and that makes them BRILLIANT
okay so marinette -> she knows chat noir right? very well. but at the same time she CANT show that she knows him well. she has to pretend that hes just some guy. or that shes a bit of a fangirl. very much Expert Pretending To Be Novice vibes. similarly with chat noir -> he totallyyyyy doesn't know this girl all that well either. she CAN'T know that this super cool superhero is actually one of her Good Friends at school. so its like they're both actors in a play but they BOTH think they're the only ones acting. but at the same time, for marinette, the facade starts to fall because she can only pretend this isnt her best friend for so long. the best example of this for me is glaciator 2, where she just starts yelling at chat noir like he's HER chat noir, like she's the one who knows him. the chance of him arguing back drops bc it likely throws him off but is also refreshing bc whoaaa marinette can yell at him like that? only its not the him SHE knows. marinette can yell at him bc she's a little bit insane and also bc he isn't in love with THIS her so he'll be fine!! and he likes it bc he can sense her comfort and also be entertained by it at the same time and its fun getting close to her without her like freaking out and escaping from him. blah blah blah they r in love!!!!!!! but the point is inevitably there are feelings on all sides
i feel as though when the reveal happens none of the sides should be dating tbh. bc that would be too easy. oh yay my gf/bf is also another person i know and love! epic! but imagine if there was pain on every side. some form of feelings, some form of love, some form of heartbreak. thats where we get the part where they have to reconcile that all this pain and failures happened because of all the identities and secrets and their inherent connection and chemistry. they SHOULD feel doubt over whether they were meant to be together at all. and then realize that this couldn't be any more perfect. because they were never meant to choose. and after finding out, they'll never have to
yeah idk where im going anymore LETS KISS ANON UR SO WOKE THANK U FOR SENDING ME A JUICY ASK :D
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ryuichirou · 15 days
Text
Replies
Also shorter ones today… mostly related to our previous replies and posts!
Anonymous asked:
After seeing Eel Floyd with Riddle
AND THOSE BITE MARKS 👀👀👀👀
I gotta know -
Did Floyd slip and slide in Riddle?
Or
Also
Did Riddle magically goldfish form and the two had merman sex???
Honestly I wasn’t thinking about Riddle also becoming a merman, but they absolutely have to have merman sex at some point, otherwise it just isn’t fair (to me) lol
And to answer your first question, yes, there might have been some slipping and sliding in Riddle involved~
Anonymous asked:
re: the gaslighting Jade ask. I randomly stumbled on your blog from other ones, and I literally blocked you because shroudcest triggers me. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own safety. As long as it’s properly marked for (which yours clearly is since I blocked you the second I made a tumblr), really all we can do is filter the things that hurt us out.
(im agreeing with you btw. draw what you want i cant stop you. just feel like i in particular make a point worth mentioning from seeing that. you can answer this or not bc obviously i probably wont see it anyway)
Anon! Whether you see this reply or not, thank you very much for writing this despite having us blocked lol
You really are making a good point, and I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and avoiding uncomfortable stuff. I really encourage it. Thank you for understanding and for approaching this issue with respect.
Have a good day.
Anonymous asked:
Gaslighting IS Jade’s love language. Also mushrooms.
Facts, Anon <3 He doesn’t waste his gaslighting and mushrooms on those he doesn’t find entertaining love!
Anonymous asked:
Honestly I can totally see Cater as the kind of guy that now and then buys a random manga just because the cover looks aesthetically pleasing, although if they are BL they are probably more oriented towards shonen-ai than explicit content. But also he wouldn't really read them because he finds the stories and characters a bit ridiculous (is he a bitter anti-romantic? or maybe his sisters used to collect shojo manga and he associates the love story genre with them?). I bet when he had roommates he had fun leaving one of his manga lying around, just to see people's reaction and go "aw, shoot, you saw it? that's sooo embarassing..." or something like that
To be honest, I can see that too. Cater seems like someone who isn’t all that into anime and manga, but is aware of it enough to recognise that the cover is pretty and that there is something gay inside (he might figure out the latter thing later as he looks inside the book lol). His sisters really could be into it though, so I can see him having certain associations.
lol Cater’s roommates “finding” his manga though… Don’t act so coy, Cater 😭
Anonymous asked:
Goddammit! Idia, you cannot escape me for long, one way or another, your chest will be licked! *shakes fist at the sky*
I love how this is turning into a Looney Tunes cartoon…
Anonymous asked:
Idia doesn’t have nipples. He accidentally shaved them off. Tragic 😔 L in the chat for his nipples.
Damn. I’m afraid I have bad news for the previous Anon.
Anonymous asked:
Do you have any HCs for Neige and/or Chenya?
We do have HCs about Neige/Vil and Chenya/Riddle (1,2)!
Anonymous asked:
It is I, 🐩 anon,
So I got a friend into twst and tell me why her favorite character is goddamn Crowley? I'm currently trying to convert her to Divus supremacy. Enough about this. Let me ask my silly little question.
Is there anything about TWST's story plot that you dislike or wished it was worked on more? Or character you wish were more fleshed out? 
Your friend has quite the taste… She is probably a genius of sorts 😔🙏
I feel like I was pretty vocal about it, so I am sorry for talking about it again, but I really didn’t enjoy how Ch2 was handled and Leona in general, to be honest. I wrote a post about my grievances a whole year ago, but my stance didn’t really change. We’ve rewatched the majority of the main story since then, and I thought that maybe with fresh minds and fresh eyes we would enjoy Leona at least to some degree, but unfortunately it didn’t really help. The events don’t really help either…
There might be some other things, but this is the one I think about every time when we talk about the flaws of TWST writing.
Anonymous asked:
what is your notp?
A bunch of Leona ships come to mind, i.e. Leona/Malleus, Leona/Vil, Leona/Idia 🤔 But also a bunch of Trey ships, like Trey/Jade or Rook/Trey…
Anonymous asked:
if you had to go on a date with one of the twst boys who are you picking? i'm picking idia
Idia is a great option, Anon; he would be so uncomfortable and awkward, getting nervous about the smallest inconveniences and whispering “thank god” every time you don’t force him to do something… I would pick him to, but my second option would be Jamil. I think he’s pretty chill.
Katsu would've picked Jade because of course, this is the best pick.
Anonymous asked:
any old fandoms that you feel out of love with?
Can’t think of any, Anon… I feel like we never fall completely out of love with anything, just move on, but there is always an opportunity that we’ll come back at some point. Things like Homestuck are still on our minds constantly lol
There are some titles that we kind of started watching, but then stopped because it wasn’t fully out yet, and since then we kind of lost interest for this thing. And with some of these titles it’s very unlikely that we’ll ever go back, but it’s never 1000% impossible. But then again, it’s not like we loved these titles…
Anonymous asked:
Funfact: The crowley that crowley is named after used to perform sex based magic with men
Damn I hope this is what our Crowley also does. This is his dark secret that is very poorly hidden
Anonymous asked:
I think Riddle would be a really good teacher's pet
Oh he would <3 He is a teacher’s pet.
Ironically, I feel like this makes him a bit boring for Crewel…although it depends…🤔
Anonymous asked:
What is a ship you rarely draw but you love
I don’t draw any of them enough, I love them all! Waaaaah :(
I feel like I don’t draw Sebek/Silver nearly enough for how much we love them, Rook/Epel is also a rare one but we love it, Sebek/Idia could use more love, anything with Jamil too…
Anonymous asked:
Please share with us a full list of the preference of the TWST boys? Top or bottom? I typed up a list for you to use!
Anon, we have a list in our pinned post! But since you’ve typed up a list, I’ll go through the list again :) We also have a post in which we explain our reasoning for each choice, so you can read it too if you’re interested.
Oh! And if you meant some other types of preferences, please let me know. In that case though, we have a list of the boys’ kinks, which isn’t the same thing, but pretty close; so you can read this one too if you want <3
Riddle – bottom
Ace – top
Deuce – bottom
Trey – top
Cater – top
Leona – bottom
Ruggie – top
Jack  - top
Azul – top
Floyd – top
Jade – top
Kalim – top
Jamil – bottom
Vil – bottom
Rook – top
Epel – bottom
Idia – bottom
Ortho  – top
Malleus– bottom
Sebek  – top
Lilia  – top
Silver– bottom
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raveneira · 1 year
Text
Continuing from my other post, for those who may be curious if this finally means Im giving up on KawaSara and the possibility that it could become canon...my answer is no, Im not.
Realistically its not lookin good, Im mature enough to admit that, does that mean I think this is the end? no I do not, why? because in a decent mangaka’s writing this usually would be the ship killer, but Ikemoto isnt a decent mangaka, hes not even a decent artist, the bar is literally in hell with him on all fronts.
With this sequels writing literally ANYTHING is possible, it doesnt matter if theres build up to it or not because just look at Kawaki’s villain arc, he literally changed his whole mindset in a fkin DAY and no Im not kidding, go back and read 76, literally took only a day for him to make a complete 180.
Look at Sasuke back in 69, he understood Kawaki, empathized with him, took the blame on himself for failing to be the one to kill Boruto instead, said Konoha doesnt have anyone to blame except for him. Now look at 78, hes holdin a sword to Kawaki’s throat despite sensing Momoshiki TWICE and KNOWING why Kawaki is doing what hes doing, he LITERALLY swore to do the same and yet here he is, hunting down Kawaki like everyone else as if he never once thought about killing Boruto himself.
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So do I think this is the death of KawaSara? no I dont, because this sequel switches from one narrative to another on a whim whenever it wants to, so right now things look horrible for KawaSara like theres no way things could ever work out and that they just totally hate eachother now etc but when the story feels like it actually wants to bother remembering Sarada and Kawaki’s bond it will, and if Ikemoto has decided to make them canon he literally will with or without build up because the man just does not care.
So no Im not giving up on KawaSara, and no I dont think KawaSara is dead, this writing doesnt give af about logic or build up so to say 79 really killed the ship is giving this man too much credit as a writer. Nothing is consistent, and nothing STAYS consistent either. If he suddenly wants to remember KawaSaras bond he will, and if he suddenly wants to forget it he will as well, whatever he feels like in the moment is what he’ll go with.
I dont blame ppl for losing hope here, I dont blame ppl for giving up either, I completely understand your frustration and hopelessness and I do not blame you in the slightest if you just wanna call it quits here, totally understandable.
All Im saying is Im not, not because I cant take the loss, I’ve lost plenty of ships and handled it just fine, but for the principal of it.
I will never forget and never let anyone else forget how a certain fanbase cared more about seeing a harmless small fandoms ship sink than enjoying their own ship they claimed was smooth sailing
I will never forget how this supposed biggest fandom of the most popular ship was praying on our downfall CONSTANTLY simply because they couldnt STAND people shipping Sarada with anyone other than Boruto who they felt she was the property of and no one elses
I will never forget how big accounts incited hate and bitterness towards us unprovoked for no other reason than just enjoying seeing a small group of ppl suffer and be ridiculed by their followers because it was just fun hating on the little guy
I will never forget how the entire fandom turned on one big account for the simple fact that he came out that he shipped KawaSara [theres other reasons now but that was the first and still is the main reason they hate him]
I will never forget how this fanbase made that disgusting head tweet [saying they wanted teen Sarada to give Boruto oral on Kawaki’s dead decapitated body] and over 500 ppl FROM THAT FANBASE liked it and cracked similar jokes, one of which saying Boruto should give HER head instead which also got a bunch of likes
I will never forget how that fanbase was quick to accuse KawaSara fans calling us sick and disgusting over a instagram post saying they hope Kawaki R-pes Sarada only for the poster to admit to being a KawaBoru shipper and NONE of those ppl apologized
I will never forget how this fandom was so insecure and downright hateful towards KawaSara just existing that when members of their own fandom also liked/didnt mind the ship they were literally SHUNNED from the fandom to the point they had to leave it because they couldnt stand it
I will never forget how that fandom constantly vandalized the KawaSara wiki page because they couldnt stand it just existing
and I will never forget how these ppl pretended to be the victim of us this entire time and convinced majority of the fanbase of this as well because they had so many ppl already on their side branding us as the bad guys when literally all we did was try to fkin ship in peace and they just WOULD NOT let us do that.
THATS why I wont give up on the ship, not because I cant take the loss, but because I cant stand letting these ppl feel like they won because more than anything they wanna see ppl drop the ship so only Bsa exists while Kawaki is thrown to whoever is convenient but Im not gonna do that. I’ll stand with the ship whether its canon or not, if others do the same great but if not then that sucks but I understand.
I aint gonna give em the satisfaction tho, whether its endgame or not, whether things get better or worse for them, even whether the ship really is killed or not, Im not giving the ppl who’ve just nonstop been praying on harmless ships downfall the satisfaction of thinkin they finally buried us, I just wont do it.
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