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shroomaz · 4 months

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"No One Else but You..." (Introduction)

A Future! RISE! Donatello x GN! Reader (Series)

A/N: This is a RISE! Take on the future story (Defeated Krang Route) and how I feel Donnie would act in the future. I personally...feel like he would be a good father, yet he has to get out of the way he acts as a genius and get in touch with his more emotional side...that's where you come in my dear reader. ENJOY!!! <3

WARNING: This is a story of You and Donnie coming together and co-parenting little softshell teetle tots. If you are not interested in babies that's completely fine- I'm much either LMAOOO-

He couldn't remember what life was like before.

It had been 20 years since the Krang were sent back to the prison dimension. And in those 20 years, the turtles have turned from teenagers...to adults.

It was such a change; especially for Donatello. The science behind time was never something Donnie could figure out. Time flew by so quickly- within a blink of an eye.

And thus, science still prospered.

It was something that he could look forward to in studies; more things to discover, more to understand...and that helped keep his mind occupied. This meant more projects of technological advancements and more body parts and upgrades for Shelldon.

It kept his mind off of...you.

How is this? It all started the day you walked into his life...funny isn't it? The rooftop meeting; he never imagined would've give such bliss in memories as it did now.

Irony? The emotionally unavailable bad boy image twisting around and slowly becoming so attached to you throughout life the more he missed you.

He would often stay up doing all-nighters (like usual), trying to get his brain to think of other things...to no hope. Just going back to you.

It was nearly 17 years ago- 3 years after Krang was imprisoned...

......

...

"Donnie...?"

An 18-year-old Don was working on some upgrades to his battle shell, adding more limbs to his spider and sipping on flavorless juice. Blasting his jammy jams.

"DONNIE!" you had yelled out to Donnie to catch his attention.

"Hm?" Donnie had lifted his tech goggles and raised an eyebrow. "Oh- greetings Y/N! What brings you here to--hEy that's my chair!" Donnie gritted through his teeth as you laid your bum onto HIS chair...anyone else he would shove them out. However, this was you, he hated to admit it, but he had a soft spot for you.

You spun in it whilst laughing as he rolled his eyes and moved his things. "Oh come on Donnieeee...you know you are happy to see me." you had teased him with a little grin.

"Oh, on the contrary, dear Y/N, it is YOU who was missing me!" he gloated placing his hand on his chest with a smile. "Besides, it's been a while since you visited- What brings you to the Great Donatello today~?" more gloating...he loves to toot his own horn, doesn't he? It was cute.

"Can't I just come to see my partner anytime I want, hm? And-" Donnie turned back to you as he cheered.

"Victory! It seems that I am right...much like I concluded-"

"How else would you see me again."

"....What...?" Donnie's features had dropped, as suddenly the once purple lights faded to black.

It was nothing but you...

"What...where...? Y/N? What's going on?" Donnie had so many questions that needed answers, but were left unattended. You walked forward like you were reaching...but you turned and walked away, getting further and further.

"Y/N? No...No, no, no--Nonononono-NO- please don't leave me again- PLEASE!" Donnie called out as you continued into the darkness. The more he tried to rush to you, the more he felt like his limbs were being held back by gravity. The sound of an alarm blaring in the background getting louder.

You had looked back at him with a smile before he woke up again.

Gasping for air- and shooting up into a more proper sitting position.

He had fallen asleep at his desk again.

Looking around at his surroundings...feeling older and not like he did in his dream.

A dream...it was all a dream.

Donnie sighs as he places a hand over his face in a facepalm...and then there he felt it, the tears.

....He sighed as he rubbed his temples before looking over at one of his stations.

Standing, and stretching- he made his way to the table, and looked down at his project...his very high priority subject.

Smiling, almost full of pride.

Looking upon a specially-made incubator full of softshell eggs.

(END)

(I know this story doesn't explain a lot but its more like the prologue.

#rise donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt #rottmnt x y/n #rottmnt x reader #rise future donnie #copper daddy #rise donnie x reader #future donnie x reader #rottmnt headcanons #this is my first series BE PATIENT WITH ME PLEASE :')

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diaboliklove · 3 months

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modern day au where yui cannot catch a break, and things only get worse when her house gets broken into by an angry red headed robber — but instead of taking her things, he takes her heart

yui was having the worst year of her life.

even worse than in 2013 when her father wouldn’t let her go to that taylor swift concert since it was deemed ‘unholy.’

she really thought only taylor could understand her.

but now its 2024, and she’s begun to have adult problems. she’s broke, her heater is broken, her apartment has started to fall apart, she stained her favorite pink skirt with coffee, her phone screen shattered when she dropped it on the train, she ran out of her favorite lip gloss, college bills keep stacking up, her upstairs neighbors never stop engaging in fornication, strawberries are out of season so she can no longer afford them and most importantly —

her father just passed away.

and all she wanted now was to rot in her apartment and ask god for mercy on her poor heart.

“it’ll be okay,” she sniffled back a tear. “father used to say the lord puts us through trials to test our faith.”

yeah, used to.

it was now late night, coming back from her fathers funeral she felt more empty than when she first got the news. her feet hurt from the black heels she now had to walk home in, the black dress did little to give her warmth, her cheeks were numb from the cold weather and having to comfort people with a smile that she’ll be okay, that there was nothing to worry about.

… but yui was already worrying about dinner. also how she’d have to shiver herself to sleep again. she couldn’t allow herself to cry herself to sleep again, her face would be frozen when she woke up, and what if she finds another hole in the walls? tape didn’t work last time, and she’s running out of rags to stuff in between them. and what about her job? she can’t buy more rags without it. they granted her a leave of absence due to her fathers passing, but what if they replaced her? if she lost her job she couldn’t pay rent — and she couldn’t ask for another extension on rent, her landlord was fed up enough with her pleading, she wouldn’t get lucky again. and also —

“no, lets just take it one day at a time. thats right,” she neared the steps to her apartment. “deep breath in, and then out. lets have some canned soup for dinner, and then pair it with rewatching the kardashians. yeah. thats a great plan.”

she turned the corner to her door.

“everything will get better,”

she put the key in the lock.

“as long as i stay positive.”

and she swung her door open —

“shit!”

“AH!”

— right into a mans back.

at first she thought she opened the wrong door. but the faint smell of her candles hit her nose, and her eyes fell on the very TV she watched shitty TV on in the mans arms — and then her eyes landed on a fucking sword on his waist.

her eyes followed it as he dropped her TV from his arms, and unsheathed it from his waist —

— and directed it right in between her eyes.

“empty your fucking purse! ill fucking kill you!”

Oh wow. wooooow.

now you would think the right action would be to do as he said. anyone would listen to a manic man with hair as red as blood, especially when they pointed a sword at you that looked like it came from the 1800’s. its not like yui wanted to die, so maybe she should save her life and sacrifice her beloved tv and the few pennies she had in her wallet.

but instead. her face twisted, and yui broke out in the most ugly open mouthed sob she’s ever done.

it wasn’t out of fear. it didn’t even register how this man genuinely had bloodlust leaking out of him. it was out of absolute frustration and sadness that this was becoming her life — and that she couldn’t even have her dream of watching the kardashians.

she fell to her knees. because, seriously, what the hell did she do to deserve all of this? she was a good kid. never acted out to her father and attended mass even when she had the flu. she never wished bad on anyone. but why does everything always have to end bad? on her 11th birthday her goldfish frank died, when she wanted a coffee last week, her card declined and now she couldn’t even sob into her blankets while she heard kim talking about how rich she was. can’t she have one good day? can’t she —

“holy shit, are you crying?” the red haired man didn’t even move.

yui looked up to him, and just stared at the man’s flabbergasted expression. through her tears, she tried to inhale through her nose, but it came out in little stutters. she extended her purse towards him.

“take it. take everything if you want.” yui spoke through her sobs. its not like anything she really wanted was here anymore.

yui curled up into her knees and rocked herself, continuing to cry hysterically at the thought of just her life. she wouldn’t mind if that man stole everything in her house — material objects could be replaced… eventually. when her eyes started to burn by the amount of tears flooding out, she noticed she couldn’t hear the familiar floorboards creak from movement and her purse was still in her hands. lifting her head to see what was going on, she noticed that the man hadn’t moved from his spot, and just was gawking at her sitting on the floor. they held eye contact for a while, like they were both afraid to move.

sure, yui thought he was a manic. but he probably thought yui was a suicidal manic.

while she held eye contact, she finally really looked at him.

he was fit. wearing a black shirt and a ripped jean jacket, yui could tell he wasn’t bulky, but instead quite lean. his pecs were defined and his muscular abdomen and biceps were flexed against the fabric from welding the heavy sword. his joggers looked worn down, and black nikes seemed like they seen better days. his face was … nice. well sculpted and he had a well defined jaw. his lips were plump and chapped from the chill outside.

what threw yui off was the cacophony that was his hair and eye color. bright firetruck red for hair that looked like he hadn’t brushed it in days, and green eyes fit for only a predator. regardless of the situation, yui could tell he honestly was… beautiful. dangerous. probably looked more attractive if he didn’t have his mouth wide open in awe.

his eyebrows furrowed, and he closed his mouth. he placed his sword back in his sheath, and leaned down to grab the tv from the floor. he looked towards yui again, with a face she could only describe as disappointment. clicking his tongue, he began to drag the tv … not towards the door but towards the tv cabinet.

“this isn’t fun anymore. you can have your shitty shit back.”

placing the tv back in its rightful throne, he squatted down and went through a worn down black backpack — that had some random pins of a band she never heard of — that was on the floor. within it, he took out her favorite necklace, her jewelry box, a couple of her wool sweaters and her damn smart toaster she picked up extra shifts for.

“this is yours. ill be back when you’re mentally stable, you deranged bitch.” he motioned to the items on the floor.

“really?”

the robber rolled his eyes. “of course I will be! do you know how much your toaster —“

“— no i mean. you’ll give it back?”

“you want me to take it?”

“well… i’d like it if you didn’t.”

“then! shut the fuck up.”

he grabbed his backpack and swung it around his shoulder. he started making his way towards the door right beside yui. as he took two steps past her, he paused.

“you’re really broke, you know.”

yui sniffled. “i know.”

“like, broke broke. i don’t think ive ever broke into a house that had so much of nothing. what are you, a level one sim? do you have no hobbies? do you even eat? i see nothing to even munch on here.”

“… i have soup.”

“you literally have two cans of spaghetti-os and tomato soup.”

yui sniffled louder. “i know.”

things were silent for a while. yui was sure the robber was still there, probably reconsidering his decision. she expected him to march back in to take her things again while flipping her off. this entire situation seemed too good to be true… but maybe this could end with her losing nothing... no. she wouldn’t let herself hope for something that was next to impossible in a situation like this.

but something even more unlikely happened.

the robber spoke again.

“do you like dennys?”

“w…what?” yui turned her head towards him.

“dennys. the best restaurant in the world. do you like it?” his face stayed neutral, but somehow the question felt like a threat.

yui feared the honest answer, ‘ive never been’ would end in her getting decapitated. so, she said, “i do.”

“do you want to go get some pancakes?”

it was yuis turn to gawk at him. he looked bored, and slid his hands in his pockets. now, maybe a normal person would say ‘fuck no, its 10pm and you just broke into my home somehow and then tried to steal my beloved tv and lovely toaster then pointed a fucking sword at me… also, i don’t even know your name you creep.’

but yui wasn’t a normal person experiencing normal things right now.

“pancakes sound nice.”

aka, the alternative universe in which two cold hearts find warmth within each other.

#toffee au’s #diabolik lovers #diabolik brothers #dialovers #ayato sakamaki #sakamaki ayato #yui komori #komori yui

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miss-wanna-draw96 · 1 month

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The Beginning of a Cursed Fate: Chpt 3

- Chapter 2: Full-Course Identity! -

[Warning, this chapter will include: -Eating disorders -Kidnapping -Experiments -Body dysmorphia

Proceed with caution]

---------

Paige took her wallet out from her coat pocket and glanced over at Evan, who was still busy drinking their tea. They seemed to have healed since then, and they have shown that they trusted Paige. Though, she didn't understand why fully. Maybe, she wondered, it was because she took responsibility for her actions and allowed Evan to stay, even though they're technically a criminal. She slipped on her boots, and her jacket, covering her "misshapen" body.

She hated how she looked, especially since she was bullied for being overweight when she was younger, a mere high schooler. Paige could still hear the taunts and insults thrown at her to this day, those words strangling her and killing off every good thought she had of herself.

Wanting to be beautiful, perfect, she tried out many diets and one specific one was about starving herself just so she could be just like everyone else around her. Skinny and gorgeous. It didn't work. So instead, she turned to dull the by overeating, causing her to gain unwanted weight at an unhealthy rate. She had done this for so long that she landed herself in the hospital. Did her parents care? Of course they did! She was their little girl, and to see her harm herself like this made them devastated. Her brother was a known people pleaser, and he had even tried to stand up for her sister against the bullying she had to endure. He was locked away in his room for engaging in a fight to protect his sister, and his still couldn't understand why. He saved Paige, so why was he punished?

She eventually gave up in 10th grade and let the world do its thing, whether it be making her harm herself from starving or allowing her to be a bit heavier than other adults. She just didn't care anymore. At least the college kids were accepting of her, some even having the same problem as her. Others in the same boat as her. She wasn't alone anymore.

She felt a tap on the back of her head, snapping her out of her rotten thoughts. With a jolt, she looked back behind her and saw Evan grin at her, clueless.

"Shall we leave your dormitory now?" Evan asked, carefully setting Paige's cup into the sink with a soft click.

Paige nodded, not speaking to them as she sighed. She'll take a trip down memory lane later, right now, her brother needs her. She opened the door to her dorm and stopped in her tracks when she saw Umeko, a foreign exchange student from Japan, holding a small decorated basket in her hand. Without saying a word, she sat the small basket into Evan's hand. She took a small bow and stepped back, allowing the pair to move past her. Evan shut the door to Paige's dorm.

Paige stuttered out, "O-Oh, um, thank you Umeko. I'll take a look at the gift basket after I finish picking my brother up." She finished, making Umeko smile at her. The smaller adult knew that she meant it and afterwards, she turned around to her own dormitory and entered it, softly closing the door.

"Umeko. A name gifted to those who remind the mothers of plum blossoms, correct?" Evan spoke up, looking at the basket with great curiosity. "And it is not of this country, but it is still a nice name. Like yours." Again, she stopped in her tracks with surprise in her eyes.

Paige only said, "Thanks." And soon, she was on her way to get Nathaniel out of Hell, Evan followed after her while they still held the basket in their arms. Her mind dwelled on the image of Umeko, a polite lady whom she barely knew. Her features were soft and round, her height short but she looked fit at the same time. And always, she wore a bunny hairpin in her hair, never taking it out unless Umeko fixed the position of her peach colored hair. She was everything Paige wanted to be more.

It didn't take long to find her car, the copper colored car with a dent in the side. The pair stepped towards her car, and unlocked it. Evan didn't seem to understand how she did that and yet, she found it funny.

She got into her car and opened the backseat from behind her, then said to Evan, "Alright, get in. We don't have much time left."

Cautiously, they got in, dumbfounded by her car and its mechanics. They carefully shut the door, a slam had alerted her that they were ready. In a moment, she buckled herself in and Evan copied her, even went as far as to tighten the belt.

"Shall we make haste and fetch your kin?" The slim and tall genderless person asked, their words confusing Paige ever so slightly.

"Yeah, let's go." She took a look in the rear view mirror and saw a couple walking past her car. Now that they had left, she started her car and pulled out of the parking lot, still looking around for campus students. She didn't see anymore. Perfect.

---------

It sat there in the dark upon a sheeted bed, a pillow between its arms. It had stopped crying a while ago when it had arrived at this place. It didn't even know where it was, but it didn't like it. It scooted itself against the wall when it heard the loud banging and scraping against the floor, a metal door against the cold cement floor. A flesh husk dressed in white with rings around her eyes stepped towards the shadow, it cried upon contact. She took her hand off of its shoulder and began to pace back and forth in front of the young mist of darkness. She was trying to formulate a plan, it could see how she delved deep into her thoughts, a vein starting to poke out of her skull. At once, she stopped and called out for other flesh husks to join her. Three more, dressed in blue suits covered with heavy armor and wielding weapons, entered the room. It held onto the pillow tighter, watching and waiting like a poor dog ready to be punished by its owners.

Was this it's fate? To be trapped with the abominations who took it away? It appeared so as the husks with weapons took a hold of the child. Its voice cried out again.

---------

Dr. Simon had entered the containment cell of the dark creature, watching her with its beady white eyes. She took steps towards it and gently brushed her hand against it's shoulder, but it cried out in pain so she drew her hand back.

'How odd.' She thought as she began to ponder. Did it hurt when she touched it? It didn't matter, she needed to relocate the beast within ten minutes before it was incinerated by bullets. The doctor didn't want that to happen to it; she thought of several ideas and they all pointed to the direction of its death. After a few more seconds of pacing, she thought of an idea to not only save its life but also benefit humanity.

"Reaper, Tank and Tommy! Get your asses in here at once." She ordered harshly, watching as they flooded into the room. "Take the child and transfer it to the upper levels, room 22-6B. When you're done, alert Dr. Harley to meet me in its room at exactly 18: 00 hours. Do it quickly now before I lose my temper." The doctor crossed her arms over her chest as she stared through her thick rimmed glasses, the soldiers took the child by the arms pulling it up from the bed with great force. A shrieking cry was let out from the child but the four adults ignored its pleas, its agony induced heartbreak from separating it from its cursed kin. The monsters that tarnished the world and everything in its godly light, had turned everything with its path into bleak and dark realm of misery and nothingness. And now that she had a bit of the darkness within her lab, she would do everything in her power to destroy it from the inside out, molding it into something that would make the rest of humanity proud of her work as head scientist.

She saw the three tear the disgusting creature out of the room, a grim smile on her face as she noticed tears running down its face. How glorious. It would understand the true meaning of why humans are the strongest to walk and control this earth, why they were basked in the light of gods that could eliminate its wretched kin.

Dr. Simon followed after them. Today would be the start of something revolutionary, something beyond science and technology. She only needed to get the higher ups word to perform the implements and changes.

---------

Nathaniel chewed gum to pass the time, on the verge of dozing off in the warm sun. He had waited for forty minutes for his sister to arrive but he remained cool headed. He was tempted to go back and apologize to his parents, the urge tugging on his heart harder and harder. The boy was stronger than this, he believed, so he casted those ideas out of his mind.

He spat the wad of gum out into a nearby trash can, its dull flavor still lingering on his tongue. At least it had tasted good and provided him comfort.

He didn't even notice his sister pull into the small parking lot. The only thing that dragged him out of hus momentarily emptiness was a loud honk that was played twice. He whipped his head to face his sister, who was waving her hand out of her window. Nathaniel had instantly rushed over to her, being mindful of the loose rocks scattered around.

The boy halted when he reached her window. "Hey sis." He greeted her.

"Hey dude. I see that you're doing better now that you have quit?"

He dipped his head. "You have no idea." From the backseat, Evan waved their hand towards Nathaniel and not wanting to be rude, he waved his hand back. "Is that...?" He trailed off and his sister picked up his thought and finished it.

"Yup, this is Evan. Evan bud, this is my brother Nathaniel." She introduced the two to each other. Nathaniel had remembered a key detail about them: the fact that they were Nonbinary.

"Salutations." The Nonbinary and gentle person greeted, their voice calm like the waves upon the ocean and pleasant like falling raindrops in the night with a quiet thunderstorm in the background. It made Nathaniel feel better around them to hear a comforting voice after his interaction with his parents.

"You as well, Evan."

"Ah, you presented me with a kinder reaction than your kin did." Evan explained, making Paige chuckle to herself.

"Really? How?" Nathaniel questioned, his hand on his hip.

"Okay, when I first saw 'em, I swear that I thought I felt my soul leave my body. I didn't expect them to suddenly show up but hey, at least I have company while Maxwell is away at work."

"Oh shit, the dude finally landed a decent job?"

"Yup. Got a position at the the daycare he badly wanted to join."

Nathaniel nodded his head in approval. "He's growing up so quickly, I'm so proud of him."

"I am as well."

---------

[A/N: Name of chapter comes from the song 'Appetite of a People Pleaser' by GHOST/Ghost and Pals.

Not much to say about this chapter tbh. If the chapter makes you uncomfortable then I'm sorry. I hope you do like it and the small sneak peek into Evan's past.

That's all for now. Also, thank you@/theinsaneartist for being cool and liking my story so far, you rock.]

Word count: 1998 words

#original characters #original story #cursed fate new beginning #cursed fate nathaniel #cursed fate paige #cursed fate evan #cursed fate dr simon #tw eating disorders #love ya <3

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c-c-cherry · 1 year

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HELLO you may recognise me as the artist that drew that one whole scene from chapter 7!! thought i'd drop in to say:

FIRST OF ALL midterms are the pain ever, i wish you all the best!! stay hydrated <3

SECOND OF ALL thank you for taking the time to leave such a long and heartfelt reply on my post asjcjkdj it made me really really happy and giddy for the rest of the day i'm so glad i managed to portray the characters and envision the scenes the way you intended us to! your writing is absolutely gorgeous and i hope you're doubting its quality less, because it is top tier.

speaking of your writing i was tempted to talk about why i really loved the fic in the post itself but felt like it was really long already 😭

so here i am, this may be long, i apologise in advance for my rambling, in this essay-

REIGEN'S SPIRALLING DOWN THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK WAS SO HEART BREAKING BUT SO RAW, IN A WAY, LIKE IT HURTS THAT HE REALLY THINKS NO ONE NEEDS HIM AROUND AND EVERYONE WOULD BE FINE/BETTER OFF W/O HIM. BUT SO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN POSITIVELY IMPACTED BY HIM AND SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE HIM AND WANT HIM AND NEED HIM

I LOVE HOW REIGEN WAS FORCED TO FACE THAT TRUTH THROUGH DIMPLE'S MEMORIES, I LOVE HOW DIMPLE CARES AND IS CONCERNED FOR REIGEN WHILE BEING BRUTAL AND A LITTLE SHIT

i love how everyone turns to teru because he's reliable and he's smart but he's just a 14 year old who's had to be his own adult for way too long and he's just trying to figure things out, too. I LOVE HATE THE WAY HE TRIES TO FILL REIGEN'S SHOES, I LOVE THEIR FATHER-SON DYNAMIC

getting me started on ritsu would be a mistake as i may write a 13k word essay if left unattended BUT in short, I LOVE THE WAY YOU DEPICTED HIS TRAUMA, HIS EXTREMELY HUMAN, EMOTIONAL REACTION TO MOB POTENTIALLY LOSING CONTROL, THE WAY HE ISN'T OVER IT, BECAUSE REALLY THATS SO UNDERSTANDABLE, THE WAY HE'S JUST A SMALL, SCARED 13 YEAR OLD JUST OUGHHH

MOB AND HIS CONCERN FOR REIGEN, HIM STEPPING UP EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW HIS SHISHOU COULD BE DEAD INSIDE THE OFFICE, HIS BRAVERY AND HIS COMPASSION. AND THE ONE MEMORY? WHERE HES ASKING REIGEN NOT TO LEAVE SO SOON, NOT WITHOUT SAYING SOMETHING I CRIED. I CRIED OK I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

SERIZAWA DESPITE BEING ARGUABLY THE MOST ANXIOUS ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION, STEPPING UP!! TAKING CHARGE AND BEING MATURE AND DOING HIS BEST, FOR THE KIDS AND FOR HIMSELF AND ESPECIALLY FOR REIGEN

and shou oh my god i love that he tags along, that he's included but feels like an outcast in their group, the way he's there because he cares but he thinks he doesn't really have the right since he's not as close to reigen. HES SO ALONE BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO INTEGRATE INTO THEIR CIRCLE, SO HE KIND OF HANGS AROUND THE EDGE AND GOOD LORD I WISH THEY'D JUST PULL HIM IN

in conclusion i want to hug them all. i haven't felt this many emotions in so long cherry you did amazing and trust me you're going to keep doing amazing, because you are you

if you read all the way here thank you for bearing w me 😭😭 i hope you're doing well, you said you recovered from a mystery sickness recently? take care ok, we support you!! <3

-bloo

Hello Bloo!! I’m so sorry it took me this long to finally reply. Life is life, and now I’m here! But just know that I’ve been rereading this ask consistently because it makes me so happy that my work can…make people think THOUGHTS? In-depth thoughts that they want to share with me?? It still barely feels real to me that people are liking my silly self-indulgent fic where I make the business man suffer. So thank you! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it, and thank you again for that deliciously-crafted fan comic! :)

I'm sparing your poor souls from a Cherry ramble under the cut. But for those who wanna peek inside my silly head:

As for what you’re saying about the fic itself…yeah HAHA. You’ve got it down. As someone who’s completely desensitized to their own ideas and the execution of said ideas, I don’t know how obvious all my little underlying themes and ulterior plot lines have been, but your interpretation of it all is pretty spot on. I’m a sucker for forcing characters to face their own truth via IMPOSSIBLE circumstances and then dragging every other character into a whirlpool of chaos and conflict and confrontation in turn. It makes it all the more fun >:)

I’ve been trying to write the characters carefully so their dynamics blend or clash or do anything else that I please, and that means letting them roam free and interact with each other while keeping their special character quirks. I love writing Mob constantly on the verge of guilty instability, Seri having to step his ass up despite his confidence not yet being 100%, Shou and his mysterious ways that are SO worth exploring because he's such a complex character despite not appearing a lot in canon, Ritsu’s impulsive, fear-driven, 13-year-old antics (and that dreaded stop sign), and of course, Reigen and all his pathetic self-loathing. In fact, ALL of them have been incredibly fun to write because ONE has amazing, fleshed-out characters that interact so well together. BUT I’ve been surprised with how much I’ve loved writing Dimple and Teru especially. Dimple’s not hard to write at all for me, but his interactions with the other characters in writing are ADDICTING, and I didn't expect that. I will say this forever, but I want Dimple in more fics because of the POTENTIAL. LET THE FART CLOUD HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT!! As for Teru—you can ask anyone who was around for the first few draft chapters of AH—I was very hesitant to write him at all. I personally think his character is very hard to nail, and I’m honestly surprised at how much the audience has taken to his role and his little moments within the fic—that encouragement and influence definitely made him appear more than I originally anticipated :)

I could ramble for hours about every character and all their inner complexities that I'd love to explore in this work and others. But I will stop myself here hahaha.

Thank you for this sweet little breakdown of what you’re enjoying in AH so far. It makes me feel very happy :) And thank you all for all the support! It really means a lot.

As for my mysterious sickness from a few weeks ago, it has vanished! Student life is crawling with unknown bacteria. It's like you're in daycare all over again, or perhaps a medieval plague ward. Now all I have to do is battle the turbulent trials of finals :’)

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #fanfic #reigen arakata #hanazawa teruki #whump #area hysteria #sweet anons #kageyama shigeo

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evilwickedme · 1 year

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Who's your favorite BatFamily member?

Oh my God thank you for asking it's this asshole

Jason Todd's tag on this blog is literally "Jason Todd my beloved" I could not be less subtle about it. This man is everything I've thought about since like, late July

Now you didn't ask WHY I love this man but I will explain anyway. Starting with the fact that as a villain, he outsmarted Batman. On his first try. He planned meticulously and was ruthless in his execution (both of the plan and of, y'know, people) and he SUCCEEDED. If it weren't for that basic human element of not being able to convince Bruce to kill his murderer, he'd have outright fucking won. And let's be real here - Jason is so fucking right. Joker, in the actual DCU, is a villain on par with the worst of them. He's a mass murderer and mass traumatizer who's been proven to be incapable of change (this is partially bc of the way he is represented as chaos, similar to a force of nature, and partially for convenience's sake). The Joker SHOULD die. Preferably with a crowbar.

But I love this fucked up dude even when he's not a villain, although that's my favorite version of him, easy. DC is trying real hard to retcon his run as Robin to make hin "the violent Robin", but we all know that's not true. "Robin is magic", etc, but more importantly the few cases where he is violent are all so clearly coming FROM THE SAME SENSE OF JUSTICE THAT LED HIM TO BECOME RED HOOD. Although he might put on airs to pretend otherwise, at his core he is so empathetic, especially towards children.

Also look how scrungly he looks as Robin 🥹

This is why I'm so obsessed with the fact that he likes reading, specifically Jane Austen. Because it's easy to like reading in general. I work in a bookstore, and all kinds of people walk in, wanting to read the latest thriller or wanting a recommendation for a beach read. People who haven't read in years want something to start out with and people who read every book the week after it comes out wanting our latest releases. But reading Jane Austen means having to employ that same sense of empathy. Austen wants us to feel for her characters, to laugh with them and grieve with them and treat them with respect but also acknowledge when they fucked up. She's funny, and uses irony extremely well. I'm not saying anything new here, I'm just stating the information necessary for my thesis, which is that Jason is capable of all of the above. He feels things incredibly deeply, and for someone with his life style, that verges on weakness.

I also enjoy him as an adult member of the batfamily and in theory as an antihero, although I'm currently still on n52 RHatO and we all know how "good" that comic is. I think he challenges the characters around him by genuinely having a point of view and personal philosophy that's very different from the main Batfam's, but still understandable, worth considering, and sometimes even more correct than the main Batfam's (I would argue that neither position is incorrect within the universe's framework, real life morals aside). I just find that type of character fascinating - a true foil.

Also, he's hot

#<<< that's my jason being hot tag there's some quality content in there #jason todd #batfam #dc #ask #anonymous #gail speaks #jason thirst tag #jason todd my beloved #jt

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talonflamee · 2 years

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talking a little about pokemon black and white:

i finished White the other day and i feel Sooooo Normal about it. yup :)

some background info: i played White on launch back in 2010. i didn’t like it too much. haven’t touched it in 12 years and I remembered very little about it, so this was basically like playing it for the first time again! overall i enjoyed it very, very much and i’m SO glad i replayed it!! here’s a quick review of the stuff i liked and disliked:

what i didn’t like:

- many of the new pokemon: there are no previous gen pokemon available until you finish the main game. this would’ve worked great if the new pokemon were. like…… good? i don’t hate all of them, but overall i think gen 5 has some of the worst designs in the franchise. (i’m not a Vanillish hater btw, that guy is awesome)

- the wild encounter rates: ABSURDLY high. sometimes i was getting a wild pokemon every single step, even when i wasn’t running

- the sheer size of the maps: i think this is a positive for most people. but for me, some of them were just wayyyy too big, most notably castelia city and twist mountain. i just wanted to get out of there lmao

i think that’s pretty much all my complaints! now onto the good stuff!

what i loved!!:

- THE MUSIC!!!: good god…. so for me personally, music is pretty much AS important as gameplay, sometimes even more so. honestly, i think i’d now say gen 5 has my favorite pokemon music of all time, next to gen 3 and gen 4/PLA. it’s fantastic. and the adaptive music!!!! this is SO cool!!!! when i got the piano and drums to kick in in accumula town, i knew this game was gonna be something very special

- trainers who heal on long routes so you don’t have to walk/fly back to a pokemon center i love you so so much

- the art/animation: ah, our last 2D main game… i miss it terribly. each and every sprite was painstakingly and lovingly crafted and it looks SO good. they also really wanted to show off the 3D environments and it still holds up pretty well! neat dynamic angles and of course. bridges

- the story: an in-depth story with fairly heavy themes! this went over my head as a kid, but as an adult i quickly recognized team plasma as just like. a literal cult. this game also addresses some moral questions fans have had since the beginning, like “do pokemon actually enjoy battles?” and “are humans forcing pokemon to fight for them?”

- the post game: hey wow actual post game! i thought swsh had a pretty abysmal post game, so this is super refreshing. i haven’t finished it yet, but it’s pretty great so far! i really like that you go back to important areas in the story to uncover more details about team plasma

- the characters: really fun characters and designs! as well as a villain that is genuinely intimidating and fucked up. i’ll take a goofy villain like guzma any day of the week, but there’s definitely something to be said about one you want to hit with hammers many times in a row

- N: oh boy... i’ll be honest, i started replaying white for ingo and emmet. i was extremely impressed by most everything about this game, but especially N. i remembered him the most from my last playthrough (literally 12 years ago) but i didn’t really understand the hype for him at the time. replaying as an adult… yeah man. this guy absolutely rules.

he’s a wonderful character and i’m writing a character study on him at the moment!! so look out for that if you’re interested!

#overall i give it a 9.5/10😳#talking #pokemon #black and white #long post #maybe new tag #game reviews #lost 5 followers for this 😭😭

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st0rmyskies · 1 year

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oh lucky timing! Please tell us about Time and Legend. any universe any degree of a appropriate. I know they are a rare pair but the two them together be it platonic or spicy is my absolute jam.

The Platonic:

Legend and Time have one of my favorite relationships in the HSH series. Legend needs someone to look up to, it's been a long time since he's had an adult figure in his life that he felt like he could trust. Time has no reason to come down on him for anything, he doesn't judge Legend or think less of him based on his beliefs or practices, and Legend really appreciates that about him. Time needs someone he can lean on now and then, or at least open up to without fear of judgement, and Legend is a pretty tell-it-like-it-is friend.

Most of all, the two of them both have a history of heartache that's made them a bit jaded, and they both recognized that in the other immediately upon meeting one another. Legend and Time understand one another on a level that few others would.

The Not-So-Platonic:

Legend grit his teeth. He shook his head wildly from side to side, trying unsuccessfully to dislodge his blindfold. When that failed, he moved instead to straining against his ropes, shifting his arms and looking for some way out. Time’s rope work was firm and perfect, of course, but Legend was slippery. He flattened his palm, leaning far to the left and feeling the strain of his bonds against his upper arm as he struggled to wrench it free. But feeling a warm weight on the bed between his parted knees made him freeze. “Please, Legend,” Hyrule shivered against him, “please, please, please please pleasepleaseplease…” “Please what, Hyrule?” The sound of a sharp slap made Legend lunge forward against his harness, getting him nowhere. He kept his head up, kept facing the direction he knew Time to be, as Hyrule turned to nestle his face on the inside of Legend’s thigh. He could feel dampness on Hyrule’s skin — from sweat, he hoped — and he snarled his frustration. [...] Another sharp click and that wicked humming was back. Hyrule’s body jolted and Legend felt him curse against the inside of his thigh. It was unlike Hyrule to be so vocal. Legend was used to quiet trysts stolen away together on the second floor, trying not to rouse the suspicion of their roommates. But on the third floor, things were different — especially tonight, when Time’s directive had been to be vocal and be direct. “There’s a lot of silent communication that goes on between you two,” he had said as he laid out the cotton blindfold on the bed in front of Legend. “Tonight, you’re going to use your words.” And Hyrule had some choice words this evening. Legend was so stunned to hear the stream of expletives that he hadn’t even noticed Time had moved off of the bed until he felt the tug at his harness from behind. Time inched him back into a more upright position. “Don’t make me tie you by your hair,” Time warned. “Pay attention.”

#lmtcoy spice under the cut #stormy drunken asks #stormys spicy asks #lmtcoy #time/legend/hyrule

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ramblingdisaster73 · 1 year

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4x06 Thoughts & Feelings (there will be both positive & negative opinions here – so read below the cut at your own risk.) As usual I tag everything with 911 lone star spoilers until the next episode airs.

At least it wasn’t another gender reveal party – for the pink chalky stuff

Sorry – but – Owen you are the one that told them to go – so if it was a real life situation – their deaths would be on you – not on them – they were following your orders

So, he is allowed to use humor to deal with shit, but no one else is – got it.

You did overreact – you have a SHIT TON more knowledge than they do – check your own narcissistic ass – take responsibility for once instead of lashing out.

I do understand why he is acting like he is – that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Can Owen just become a Fire Marshall – then we can get Captain Ryder full time? I really think that Arson investigator would be perfect for him – but there is a lot more opportunity (imo) for the fire marshall than arson investigation.

Seriously though – why introduce a white supremacist Nazi group – an actual real threat in Texas & the US at the moment – then make them the VICTIMS. What.the.actual.FUCK.

Sorry – if Tim wanted the FBI chick’s death to make us feel something – this was a HUGE miss for me – that is what I was hoping for since I saw the still of Owen carrying her out.

SIDENOTE – I do like Amanda Schull in Center Stage – I love that movie so much

I guess he isn’t the bad guy – BUT – I don’t really care

Sorry, but I don’t feel bad for the Nazis.

I wonder if Owen actually saved Red’s life by coming in before the FBI raid – it seems like the ones that died were the ones closer to the bar/farther back in the screen area – where Red came from to talk to Owen.

2nd adversary of Owen’s to get severe burns in an explosion

The text spoof thing – seems to smart for the kid

The FBI is so single minded in their pursuits of criminals

Sorry, but the painted ambulance was a huge giveaway that the bomb threat at the capitol would really be outside

At least they found the bus & dead hiker

I really didn’t think that the mikey kid was smart enough to get Andy to do all the provable work.

I did say that the kid would be involved – the scene he was in @ the roadhouse after his branding clinched it for me.

Why would you be sorry Owen? You very rarely are, especially since you always get to come out the hero?

I guess at least he is admitting he can’t do it all alone – so I guess at least that’s 1 step in the right direction.

Oh yay – gun porn for the gun people – lovely – sorry – not a fan (losing a childhood friend in a school shooting and a high school boyfriend being murdered with one – make it a bit hard for me to find guns sexy – but to each their own.)

So, we now have 2 adults that have been kidnapped/held captive with their hands bound in front of them with their mouths taped – but they couldn’t just lean the 2 inches forward to rip off the tape?

So Andy was a suicide bomber – dude wasn’t planning on blowing the place up & getting away with it – he was literally a suicide bomber. – but – yeah, please try to make me feel bad for the kid, but too bad it was another miss.

I do think that the actor did an awesome job with the role – I could also buy him as a relative of O’Brien – something about the eyes.

I wouldn’t hate an Owen/O’Brien friendship – but am totally cool with it being off screen

As soon as the fake ambulance was surrounded – I knew that Owen was going to be pulling a Derek Morgan

Like the kid getting the boot from the club for being TOO right wing is not the way to get me to sympathize with him

“You need to run” – Okay – we will all just stand here and stare at you instead.

Like that ambulance is fake as fuck looking – how dumb are law enforcement in this show.

Sorry – but Grace has been hired as Owen’s babysitter

Maybe – tell her that you have anfo in the van – that way she can more quickly give you directions

Then Listen to the woman.

Sorry – but I predicted the van stopping – and laughed when it did. I thought we were about to see Owen go Superman and just push it all the way in with his pinkie finger.

Doesn’t he know you have to weight the gas pedal? Like he watches so many movies – but missed this one thing that is in almost every action movie I have watched.

Of course, it turns into laughing gas

Apparently Judd forgot all of the science info he recorded for Mateo in Season 1.

I loved that little throw back

I love Mateo

I really want Captain Judd Ryder to be a thing

Here is an Owen thing that I absolutely loved – the way he kept eye contact (until Andy spoke directly to him) with O’Brien during Andy’s testimony – Neal played that role so well – he truly looked like he was in pain over the situation. – Owen was the person he could look at and know he wasn’t being judged, just supported in the way he was trying to support his nephew’s wife.

It is what you do Owen.

So glad he was reminded that he had a son – and decided it was convenient for him to stop by. – I get that a lot of people absolutely love this whole scene – I like parts of it – but as I have mentioned previously – Owen & my Father are very similar & that makes it incredibly hard to see this gesture as one towards TK – but rather see it as one to assuage his own guilt.

Tim’s comment about Owen being the dad of the Groomzilla is fucking stupid as shit – sorry but that says that TK will be the groomzilla – the groomzilla can ONLY be the groom (in this case either or both Carlos & TK would qualify) – the father would be a Dadzilla – not the dad to the groomzilla. It really isn’t that fucking hard – but Tim likes to make TK look like the diva anyway – so I guess that is pretty on brand for him.

Sorry Owen, but one of those men is on his second wedding/marriage – they can’t all call Iris his wife in other eps and then act like this him marrying TK is Carlos’ first marriage.

#911 lone star season 4 #episode 4x06 thoughts #911 lone star spoilers

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sjweminem · 2 years

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do you miss your dad in a quantitive way? ive recently lost someone close to me and it hurts but you seem to be coping so well even tho its been years

i think a whole lot of it has to do with some of my own illnesses/disabilities (especially autism and SZPD), actually, as well as a severely trauma-ridden life..so i guess the """""""short"""""""" version (literally this fucking essay IS a short rundown) of the deal is this:

not only was i born with a predisposition for emotional scarcity, but also live the damage done by a life so harsh it just drains you of the more basic human emotions. i think that's why i'm so obsessed with math? everything is an equation to me. now, i loved my dad more than anybody on earth, but i don't know what "grief" means since i wasn't equipped with it, i don't think i know what it means to be "sad" (i'm recalling this old journal entry in which i said i was jealous of people who got sad, cuz like their mom died or they had a breakup or put their dog down etc. because my definition of the word "sadness" portrays it as a state of being with an inherent end-point, and good god did i wish i could be sad for that fact alone (i still have that journal, i can post that page or others if anybody wants, it's probably explained better there). the last time i cried was in drug detox like 3 years ago and that was due simply to the physical pain of opiate withdrawal. otherwise i straight up CANNOT cry, it's like i'm physically incapable of it. i think the ability has been taken.

it would make sense to cry over my dad, that exact moment while i was talking to him and felt life exit and soften the hand i was holding; at the moment we were looking each other in the eye and then suddenly..weren't. no tears; the mathematical equation had just been completed- when you become an adult it is the natural progression of things and has been for millennia. it made sense, it added up.

maybe, for weeks to come, it looked to others like i was repressing my Sadness (my WHAT?), that i wasn't letting myself Mourn (umm i don't think anyone ever taught me that ability?) but i'm still like that to this day. personally i just appreciate that i had him as a father, that he cared for me while my mother worked, taking me out for fun little adventures. i love that i had a father who so openly showed his love for me, was affectionate and never closed-off, and also he was brilliant and hilarious. moving on, i appreciate that the remainder of his life post-diagnosis was bright, that he moved in with us, that he and i got to be close again, that he continued with his passions. i hope you can gather past memories/positive facts to be seen through this kind of lens that eases your hurt.

i'm proud that i was the one to take care of him, driving him to and staying around for every single chemo session, sitting up next to his bed where he'd watch me draw in amazement. i'm delighted that the very last thing he felt while still a living human was my hand on his, that the very last thing he ever saw was my smiling face, that the last thing he ever heard was my voice. that's enough for me. i don't understand why i should feel hurt. i have plenty of "oh man i wish my dad could see this drawing!/hear about this stupid thing i did today!/etc but i mean..hey, i wish a lot of things! i wish i lived with mobius in a little house in maine! i wish there weren't so many dirty dishes in the sink right now! i wish my skin didn't get so dry no matter what i do why is it so fucking dry! i don't dwell. maybe the fact that i can't feel sadness and loss and whatever but am still able to feel love and affection work out in this case.

all that being said though, i wouldn't call any of this "coping well"- i just never HAD to cope. and i wanna make sure this doesn't come off as braggy abt how Strong i am or make you feel jealous for how i handled this loss!! like i come on here for people and content and i cuz i think i'm funny but the downside is it can project an inaccurate picture. like even if you've read the worst of the worst about my life and self i've cared to mention here over the years you've still only read the children's edition. if anybody ASKED for a real rundown i'd be totally fine writing that dissertation and pop some pics in for extra fun but i'm not the kind of person who whines all woe is me on their social media as if everyone cares lmao

#anonymous #correspondence

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campmurderparty · 2 months

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vikram & charlotte.

Vikram gave a little laugh and a slight shrug. “Well, that’s good to know.” though he doubted it was completely true. Even before she found out the truth about his mendacity, there had to have been little things he did to piss her off, especially since they moved in together. Vikram had actually lived with a girlfriend before, either living by himself or with roommates from time to time, so there had been an adjustment period.

“Yeah, well, maybe not a lot of damage, but it would still hurt a little.” she was right, though, that his reflexes had improved since he was turned. “It does change you, the curse. I’m stronger, faster than ever before. The bhaktas are not a sporty family, but now I can run up a wall like spiderman. That’s kind of the only good thing about it all." He never liked physical activity growing up and didn’t like working on a team. It was another reason why the pack lifestyle annoyed him so greatly; if he wanted to be part of some community in his adult life, he would’ve joined a rec league soccer team or something. Now they were all bound together by the moon.

“Oh, you don’t like the rugged wild man look?” Vikram smiled, shaking his hair. The curls tumbled over his face in one big clump, and he already knew his body was streaked with dirt underneath the clothes he pulled on after the change. Once they finished their conversation, he’d hop in the shower and painstakingly comb the knots from his hair. Then he’d probably fall back into bed and sleep for the rest of the day.

He nodded, shrugging one shoulder. “Trust me, it’s a big point of contention in the wolf community. Some people are annoyed by it because there’s a lot of heritage and tradition in our culture, so they think it’s insulting to have our species reduced to weak dogs. Other people like it because it makes humans underestimate us, if they think we’re real and out there somewhere. It keeps our secret.” In his opinion, it was probably better if the general public thought his kind were like they were in twilight or some other show. “Vamps don’t get along with us because we’re on top and there’s more of us than there are of them. They’re more animal than we are.” vikram was being prejudiced, but he was only following in the tradition of his pack. The feud between vampires and werewolves had been raging long before his grandparents were born.

“You’re not crazy, you’re smart and perceptive.” Vikram declared lovingly. “I don’t know much about ghosts, but from what I've heard, they’re very bored, spending eternity on earth and watching humans get to enjoy life. I think they fuck with people just to amuse themselves, or get back at them.” that would probably be what he would do if he ever died and became a ghost, but only humans could linger on after death. Thanks to that trip he took with his college buddies a few years ago, he wasn’t one anymore—but charlotte was. She’d remain a human even if he had to die to maintain that.

He frowned, placing charlotte’s hands in his. “I know, and I'm so sorry that I put you in this position.” perhaps she had made a mistake in following him to the forest last night, but it was all his fault. If he hadn’t fallen in love with a human, then she’d never have been in danger in the first place. “I know that you love me, but I can understand if you can’t be with me anymore. Or if you want to go visit your brother or something, get out of town for a while. I’d find some way to deal with audrina, or i’ll go before the pack and deal with the consequences.” his grip on her hands tightened. “But I promise you, lola, I will not let anything bad happen to you. I love you.”

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qhostqizmo · 4 months

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personal

i try so hard to hold on to christmas spirit every year and ride some false high and every year its. not. it's not there.

i can't bring back the childhood memory of laying on the skirt of the christmas tree, staring up at our decorated pine, the smell of sap, the soft bulb mutli-color lights. the house dark; decorations everywhere, the faint sound of the tv in the background.

it's like the only positive memory i can recall. other than getting a gameboy and pkmn yellow the year of its release. only vaguely otherwise recall going to my grandmother's or my aunts, but nothing concrete. no details.

christmas time is literally the /worst/ time of the year for me and i'm so exhausted. i cook, i clean, i do everything to make christmas the best i can for everyone else- baking and buying gifts and decor and helping to put things up and going on and on. i'm tired. i'm working myself to the bone and constantly stuffing new things in that trauma box in the back of my head.

grandmother passed away christmas eve 10 years ago

not having presents under the tree for years and feeling like i'm worthless compared to everyone else (i understand it's not the meaning of christmas but try telling anyone it doesn't hurt to see adults and kids getting to unwrap surprises and you're just There, handing them all out). (oh and now you're an adult ADDICTED to the concept of surprise gifts becuz you have repressed feelings about 'person who got me smth cuz they like me and saw this and thought of me').

being burnt out and told by your family you're being mean and grinchy and cause all the fights and dramas on the holiday when you just want some peace or not to be asked to do something every 5 seconds. literally. called to cook or pick up or help with something or mocked for being the family blacksheep who gets overstimulated and needs a min or won't allow hugs or won't drink-- just leave me alone just let me be for a moment, please. i'm so tired of always doing everythign for the holidays i never got to be the one that sat down ever since i was fucking 7-8ish i've always been the second matriarch i didn't want to be i'm SICK of it. i'm SICK of having had to pick up my parents slack and be a second parent without realizing it god it's so goddamn exhausing and i don't really dwell on it until the holidays roll around just how long and how much i've had to do to make the holidays what they've been all my life for eeryone else.

this is my first year without my orion

last christmas is when i noticed something was very wrong with him

it fucking klls me how much i miss him. i'm devastated. i hate everyone talking about getting a new pet in this house i just want my boy back i'm so exhausted. my soulmate, my sweet boy, my goofy moose my protector my friend my smelly man. he meant the world to me. and no one fucking gets it.

it feels like there's this constant wall between me and happiness all the time and it's so much more pronounced in winter / especially dec through february. i hate carrying my burdens. i hate having to smile through and push through for something that hurts so much. this time of year is draining and filled with heartache for me. and it aint' even over becuz come my birthday i once again have to deal with the 'day that something bad alwys happens' and be mocked for being old but unaccomplished for my age according to normal people stands.

but i don't know any other way than to ball up my feelings and swallow them with the exception of like middle-of-the-night-diary-shitposting-all-over-the-internet. just throwing up my baggage. hoping the universe hears e i suppose. hoping somehow that yelling into the void can soothe the aches i carry deep down.

i want to hold my dog. i miss my boy so much. i hate pretending. i hate christmas. i hate that it will never have the innocent spark it had in childhood ever again, and will always be a muddled mix of misery and loss and grief and the struggle of adulthood and mockery.

i just want it all to be over.

i don't want to hold up a fake smile anymore or hold up traditions for anyone else i just want to be alone with my sadness and a blnanket. i 'mt not worth much more than finished housework anyway.

#qhostly evp

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allieatthemovies · 7 months

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Movie Review: Ouija House (2018) d. Ben Demaree - 2 / 5 Stars

I’m doing a fall challenge on Letterboxd that, unlike the summer one, I aim to actually complete. So, let’s start this challenge right with a terrible movie that I enjoyed way more than is probably socially acceptable. Ouija House is the tried and true story of curious people deciding to talk to ghosts with a toy trademarked by Hasbro and created during the late 19th century in a house where vicious murders once took place.

The movie opens with Tara Reid and two of her friends entering the house and playing with the titular Ouija board. Things quickly go wrong for the trio and the movie flashes forward to present day where Tara Reid’s character has grown into Dee Wallace, the mother of the protagonist Laurie. Our collegiate protagonist is writing a thesis on paranormal activity and invites her boyfriend Nick, their friend Spence, and his girlfriend Tina to a haunted house connected to her family. She aims to record some supernatural activity for her thesis so she can publish her findings and save her mother’s home from repossession (of the mortgage kind, not ghostly kind). At the house, her cousin Samantha tells the story of Roka, an evil warlock obsessed with word and number games who sought to open portals between our realm and the realm of a... tree god?? Honestly, that part matters less than Roka’s focus on murdering people who suck at word games as Samantha explains that when a family would fail he would murder them and steal their baby. An appropriate response to illiteracy, portals to hell or whatever notwithstanding. And honestly, I had a blast with this because I love word games (Roka and I are truly kindred spirits). I compulsively stopped the movie every time Roka posited a new anagram before the gang of misadventurous young adults. The very first puzzle Roka presented had my notes like:

“Okay legitimately wondering where this is going and how ‘glean’ is going to play into this

“So generally glean means to reveal or uncover but maybe there’s a definition or use I’m not familiar with - to the dictionary!

“‘to clear (a field, orchard, etc) of leftover produce in this way’; ‘to gather small amounts of (grain or the like) left behind after a harvest, nowadays often for charitable use’; ‘to gather slowly and laboriously, bit by bit’ - so the charity bit is definitely not relevant unless we’re talking souls for a god is charitable work, however the term as it relates to harvest and gathering seems relevant especially with the constant affirmations of Laurie’s connection to ‘good nature witches’; this could be foreshadowing that Laurie’s understanding of her own witchy heritage is not all it seems to be, and of course bringing all of these characters together relates to the laborious gathering since it’s been stated that the house has been kept fiercely off limits; am I overanalyzing the hell out of this: absolutely; I’m gonna unpause the movie now; OH WAIT AND ALSO THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS OF TARA REID ESCAPING THE HOUSE IS MAYBE THE ‘LEFTOVER PRODUCE’ I’M DUMB SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT FIRST hFKAHfiu;sheILFHIUlsehyflk; sp up can talk maybe bloodlines being important here and the house wants or needs Laurie for something (though this doesn’t explain the interest it seemed to take in Tina when they first arrived that’s kind of an anomaly)”

I did learn that apparently my most familiar use of ‘glean’ is actually, like, the fourth one down in the dictionary so I can’t say this wasn’t an educational experience. But anyway, our cast of unfortunates fail this first game by guessing “angel” rather than “glean” and must attempt to reestablish a connection with the spirit we later confirm is actually Roka. This is the general progression of the movie, and there isn’t much variation in terms of the play-lose structure. However, the movie carries the idea of the Ouija off the board and into some interesting new environments: Tina volunteers herself to act as a talking board by painting the responses on her torso with lipstick. It’s... inventive, to say the least. Following a series of unfortunate events, Tina becomes the planchette as the group realize the whole house has been made into a talking board. From there it’s win or lose at the cost of your life while Tina runs around trying to bash her head into the letters painted on the wall.

None of the kills are in anyway creative, in fact they almost entirely happen off-screen. There isn’t any suspense in the story, the set design, the score, the lighting and as a functional horror film it really fails quite spectacularly. The story doesn’t really make any sense, there are numerous plot threads that go nowhere - certainly none of my unhinged over-analysis of the word “glean” mattered - and for all the effort Laurie and her friends go through to stop Roka’s evil game, all I could think about is how much trouble they could have saved themselves by just letting Roka play an eternal game of Wordle.

#movie review #Ouija house #horror #Letterboxd challenge

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invincible-selfxmade-punk · 10 months

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i appreciate your answers. I'm not looking for permission. I just needed to talk about this to someone who isn't my therapist or social worker or doctor. I need to talk to other adults, who've been through shit, who can understand where I'm at, you know? because I'm so alone, and there's no solutions to anything, and i have to make my own decisions. i have to live with these thoughts every day, and sometimes i just really want to talk to someone who can say, yeah, this is hard, and i know what it's like to be in pain, and here's what i think or what I'd do. so thank you. it's kind of you to take the time to talk to me, especially given this family history. I'm sorry if i upset you, and I'm sorry you had to live through all of that. it must be VERY hard.

Oh you're fine. I'm not upset at all. I don't know what it is and I think it is really just my relationship with God and a lot of prayer and some therapy that I am now to an okay point where it will pop up and it will devastate me out of the blue but on a daily basis I'm okay. But it took me a long time to get there. From the time I was 12 until the time I was 25 I was suicidal everyday. So I know exactly how that feels I know what you're going through. And I couldn't tell anyone about it because no one understood and no one knew what was going on at my house. And even if they did no one would care, it was a really small town and my dad knew the police department and and it wasn't my dad that was doing all this s*** it was my stepmother but it was still an absolutely hellacious way of growing up. So around age 22 I woke up and magically I didn't want to kill myself anymore suddenly I was just angry really really angry with the world. I was angry that no one listened to me, I was angry that nobody helped me, and was only angry with myself I was okay with myself I was just angry at everybody else and that's what I kind of called my Nine Inch Nails face because that's what I was listening to at the time. And for decades I really thought that I somehow brought myself out of it until I got therapy. And I will never forget my therapist saying no that was the other part of your pain body coming to life you were no longer in the position of the victim you were in a different position and so that's what your subconscious picked up on. All that Suicidal Tendencies was still there it was just not at the service. So that was this huge Revelation to me because I literally thought that I had somehow cured myself just by surviving and that one day for everyone else they would just pop out of bed and be okay. And that led to like several nervous breakdowns later on. And I totally remember sitting in a car in my early twenties getting drunk with one of my friends and finally telling her about all the abuse that I've been through and her saying if you do not see a therapist now you are going to have a nervous breakdown by the time you're 35. And she was totally right I mean who knew how she got that information as a 20 year old but still she was dead on. So it took me years to get therapy. But when I did get therapy I got EMDR therapy. If you've never tried it I suggest you try it. For me it worked very well but then the lady who is my therapist for 5 years suddenly stop doing therapy and since then I have not been able to find a therapist at all and I live out in the middle of BFE so . . .

So yeah I am always around if you need to talk or anything like that.

I may not be able to give any great advice but I can listen. And I just did a huge poetry dump so if you want to read what mental illness pretty much wrote way before I got any therapy you are welcome to it

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yzxsn · 1 year

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090223

| it’s time for crime.

enter miyako shirokawa. day job: an editor. a debt collector (of writers' drafts) by night. one of the strangest calls she would get in her lifetime would come from a doted cousin. from the police station. just as she was about to head to another victim's position by dark.

"please miyako. please don't contact my parents…"

ayu sat opposite her, head down, with her gaze towards the floor and clenched fits in her lap. they were in a cafe, across the street from the station, but the police didn't need to involve themselves in family affairs. and miyako sighed, considering the dilemma posed to her from ayu's explanation.

things were even more complicated, now that ayu's parents had decided to relinquish their responsibilities of caring for her to the office worker. given that their daughter was family to miyako, she didn't need to know of the situation in full to understand her obligation in caring for ayu. yet, miyako was understandably frustrated with how dire their argument seemed to be.

after all, ayu must've travelled for long hours to get to the city on her own, especially since she lived far into the countryside.

like any responsible adult, miyako's first concern with regards to ayu's circumstances was to the girl's education. but her cousin seemed more concerned with becoming independent.

"what do you mean by work…? i mean, no one would think about hiring a minor without the consent of their parent, you know…?"

"i'll just have to forge the consent form," ayu explained to her, and this alone was enough to send chills of danger down the adult's spine.

no. way. not on her watch.

"i won't allow you to start such a shady lifestyle."

and that was supposed to be the end of their discussion on that topic. until, somehow, miyako remembered that she, too, had her own origins of working odd jobs, under questionable conditions. sure, it would be criminal to send ayu to work in such positions, but it wouldn't be unsafe. money was still money, even if it was paid from under the table, and she was certain her cousin would be well taken care of, even if, to miyako, her employer was to be considered an airhead.

so that was the route miyako chose to take. while waiting for colleague to pick up the phone, she ran through simulations of the two's potential relationship in her mind. yukari would materially spoil ayu. ayu would domestically care for yukari. yukari would be motivated to write more stories (ideally, on time), and ayu would be reasonably compensated for her work (through money).

yes. yes, this could work after all.

"--you said before that you wanted a beautiful girl to take care of your surroundings, right?"

"oh, i feel like i would've say that."

"well, i'll hold you to it now. because i've found one."

"hah?!"

"i've found one. a beautiful girl who will work for you. so please wait patiently, okay?"

the line was killed before yukari's outburst could be overheard by the beautiful girl in question herself. and as miyako looked upon ayu, she wondered for a moment if she'd gone crazy herself.

well, if that was the case, miyako thought as she pulled up a ride-hailing app on her phone, then the problem really lies with yukari. honestly.

miyako wouldn't be aware of what was to transpire between the author and her now-adopted living partner until much, much later. but even if she had known beforehand, she would still justify that this was the right course of action to have taken to begin with, given their priority for the girl's shelter.

(and, to be truthful? it seemed as though miyako was right after all. on both the better judgement, and the conclusion that yukari was the crazier one, between the two of them.)

#femslash february #age gap tw #yukari/ayu #yuri before the deadline #miyako pov

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traumxrei-archive · 2 years

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I usually see the arranged marriage au with reader and Kalim, but can you imagine it with Jamil? If maybe you two were set up to be married when you were still children? Or maybe if you fall for Jamil but his family has arranged his marriage to another? But that's the first time he refuses to follow the life set for him in front of his family? He decides that he can't go through with it- it's the one thing he'll regret forever, to marry someone else but you, especially when the arranged marriage has to do with his prearranged life of servitude.

- Jamil Lover anon 🙃

d u d e i think about arranged marriage aus n scarabia all the time. like. the amount of angst potential. it's such a rollercoaster to try and think about it with jamil, bc like whew, we could go anywhere with this.

like the specific scenario i fall back to is he's arranged to marry someone else, probably of a servant family that also serves the al asims, but at a lower station than the vipers OR of another servant family of another rich family.

and i keep thinking, he loves you, but he's in an arranged marriage. probably has been for a long time, or he always knew he would be in the future. and he would do anything to be with you. but his respect for his family has been ingrained into him since he was a child. so he's torn between wanting to be with you and doing his family proud.

[ au continuation + small drabble below the cut ! ]

but also, there's another angle, bc he knows that any person he marries will also be tied down to a life of servitude just like him; tied down to the al asims. so maybe he thinks it's for the best that he can't be with you, bc being with him only serves to tie down your wings. and he of all people knows the value of freedom in this world. so he rejects you, he distances himself, he does everything he could to show you he wasn't interested or that he thought of you of someone no more than an acquaintance. and it breaks his heart in the process, but it was for the best, right ?

there's a lot of ways this could go, but i think maybe kalim steps in. bc maybe at that point in time, they're already adults, no longer kids. and so kalim understands now, he understands better than when he was a child. so when he sees his friend struggling and suffering; agonizing over his own heart— he comes to a decision.

he decides to gift jamil the freedom he oh so desperately wanted in a way that still keeps his family's honor. still not sure what that could be like, but i assume incorporating him into the al asim's business or having him adopt a position of power above a servant would work.

and as soon as jamil realizes that he's free he starts running. he runs, towards where he knew you would be, because now he can finally be truthful with himself. he would sweep you into his arms, even if you were busy with something, just to murmur in your ears how much he missed you. how sorry he was for being so cold even when you were always so kind to him. and how he lied, he was lying when he said he wouldn't want to be with you, so could you please, find it somewhere in your heart to give him a second chance?

and what can you say to a man who's gone beyond apologizing? someone who's trembling in your embrace, his breaths uneven from his hurry— practically begging you to say you won't throw him away? you say, "okay. alright." and before you could say anything else you could hear the softest of sobs escape from his lips.

your eyes widen because this was jamil viper. the man was unmovable on a good day, and annoyed on a bad one; he rarely showed what he thought so clearly on his face. and he most definitely had never cried in front of you. you sink to the ground, him still in his arms and it takes ages for you to calm him down. there's a swell of emotions inside of you too, but you try your best to stay strong for him. he's holding you like someone would try to take you any second, but his grip was also soft; like you'd drift away if he dared hold you so tight.

in the end, he comes to his senses pretty quickly, coughing into his fist with darkened cheeks. but he reiterates that he means every word he said earlier. and he asks you again for your second chance. you hold his hand as you say yes, because of course it was a yes, you were also painfully in love with this stubborn piece of work called jamil viper. and that's the start of your second chance with him.

whew i kinda got carried away bc i love angst. but yeah. jamil viper arranged marriage is. *sighs dreamily* yeah...

#/trau replies #/jamil lover anon #jamil viper #mmm angst #you don't know yet #but i love my angst #like i will whump my babies without question #just for that hurt/comfort #jamil viper x reader

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