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settersloveletters · 4 years

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NO. 1 FAN

• part sixteen; just endurance training

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⤷ y/n will always go out of her way for her family, especially for her 7 year old niece, who happens to be kageyama tobio’s number one fan. what happens when the charming sweetheart, y/n, meets the emotionally null, kageyama tobio? and what happens when those two fall in love at first sight?

a/n: its here.. ENDING is ambiguous. ill leave it up to those big imaginations yall have 🧠 hahaha. IDK IF THIS IS TOO OOC. whatever ill justify it by saying “adult kags is mature and horny and knows what hes dooing hahsjej. also likes to dirty talk im sure of it 🤗🤩😋

[!] under is written smut which is not important to the story, sorta, kinda [!]

➳ word count: 1.5k

➳ warnings: smut, but nothing too crazy; hand job, praise kink (kageyama recieving), cum eating?! is there a proper word for that lool

Wow, he’s really hot. Not that that’s new news, but here he is, in your small living room, freshly showered with damp hair in the comfiest loungewear. After all the commotion -- trying to fix the car only to decide on letting him sleepover, setting up a comfortable sleeping place for him, and of course, not trying to embarrass yourself on countless occasions -- you two now rest.

“Hey, wanna watch something?” you suggest as the two of you sit on the couch, a TV perched on the cabinet across from you. Even though you two sit at least three feet apart, you feel his body heat emanating and he hears your heart beating a mile a minute. It’s weird, you two are usually so normal and casual, able to converse and talk, but why is it so different right now.

“Sure, you can choose.”

“Romcom? Oh, or maybe this documentary. Wait no, I actually like this movie,” indecisively you scroll through the library of movies. “That one,” Kageyama says in such an alluring tone that has your finger slipping, the chosen movie is now beginning.

Minutes in, it might be your mind playing games, but the distance between you has become smaller and smaller, and before you know it your hips are touching. You feel every rise of his chest when he breathes and he feels every time you jump or squirm against him. And to be honest, the movie is getting deathly boring when your eyes would much rather feast upon the man beside you, his toned arms and big hands. You’re almost so tempted to touch them, compare them to your own, interlock both your fingers.

“Are you even watching the movie?” Kageyama scoffs, and when you get a better look at his face, you see the small rosy tinge that covers his cheeks. “Yes, I am. Are you?” leaning into him even further, your body acts before your mind can think. You give him a peck on his cheek. It’s not like you two have never kissed before, but this feels new, fresh, exhilarating.

“I am, for your information. Unlike you, staring at me like you’re the predator and I’m the prey,” he looks you dead in the eyes, deep blue engulfing you. He’s letting you know the nature of the relationship; he is no prey.

Gently grabbing the back of your neck, Kageyama pulls you into a kiss, lips touching and sending pleasurable jolts across your body. The distant movie playing has drowned out in the background as your heavy breathing and heartbeats fill the room. You even let out the tiniest of whimpers that shoot straight down to his cock. His other hand begins to wander, until it settles around the small of your waist, pulling you up onto his lap.

You two spend an eternity, his touch constantly rubbing along your body, your fingers twirling around his hair, and your lips and tongues dancing with each other. With your legs straddling his, you don’t shy away from giving an experimental grind against his clothed erection.

“Hm,” his moan is muffled in your interlocked lips. You pull off, looking him in his eyes, all clouded and gasping for air. There’s something tantalizing about the thought of being the one to seduce Japan’s top young athlete. Seeing the young star in front of you, lips red and swollen from all the kissing and almost begging to be touched. It has you quivering at the knees. This is Kageyama Tobio..

“Ha, I didn’t think you’d.. Baby, let’s take it slow, yeah?” you tell him, slipping the cute pet name in which has him pulling you in closer to him.

“Of course. To be honest, I don’t know how much of you I can handle at once,” he looks down at you, jabbing at your usual boldness and forwardness. You can tell he’s nervous. “I should be saying that to you,” you sigh, hands grabbing onto the formed tent in his sweatpants that has you too excited. He’s big.

“So, why don’t we just touch today,” you give him a reassuring smile, giving his cock another squeeze that has him moaning aloud again. Kageyama just simply looks at you and gives a nod in response. He’s embarrassed at his own voice, but to you, it sounds like heaven. You don’t hesitate in lowering the waistband of his pants and boxers, letting the heat of his cock expose itself. Looking at it has you biting your lower lip and shifting in his lap. You wrap your hands around his girth, feeling heavy in your hands as the thick veins tickle the pads of your fingers. You stroke his shaft, listening to the way he audibly gasps and groans under your ministrations. Your fingertip rubs along the head, picking up the drop of precum, allowing you to give him a more satisfying jerk.

“Do that, that felt good,” he breaths out. You pick up the repetitive motions as you feel the surface of his cock heating up, and the unsuppressed sounds spilling from his mouth. The sweet clicks of your strokes has you desperate for more, desperate to pleasure him more. Boldly, you spit onto the head of cock, slicking him up and quickening the pace. Kageyama lets out a needy noise that has your insides trembling and panties uncomfortably wet.

He likes the attention, you know it. He loves being able to openly receive this love from you, no matter how foreign or new it is to him. This thrill Kageyama feels has him aching for more. His hands grasp onto the legs that sit on his lap, squeezing the soft exposed flesh of your skin. His mind goes wild imagining what lies beneath those tight shorts you purposely wore to seduce him, what you’d look like all exposed just for him. He’s not usually this dirty minded, but you’ve always managed to pull out the craziest things from him.

“What are you thinking about, baby?” you ask with your innocent and calming voice, totally contrasting the lewd hands that continue to rub at his cock.

“I’m thinking about a lot of things..”

“Like what my panties look like?”

You will be the death of him, he swears. Before he can even respond or react, you’re already removing your shorts, showing him the delicate black fabric underneath that leaves oh so little to the imagination. Kageyama is brazen and confident on the court, but in the intimacy of right now, you have to be in control of the game. Straddling him again, you continue where you left off, bringing him closer to his release with your hand, kissing along his jaw and neck. “I won’t leave marks, don’t worry.”

“I don’t mind,” he manages to say through his pants. Without hesitation, you leave the tiniest mark on the side of his neck. The thought of tainting his perfect skin has you moaning against him, only egging him further to completion. His cock twitches in your hands, which has you stroking him faster.

“C’mon baby, you can cum anytime. You’ve been so good to me,” praising him, Kageyama looks directly into your eyes, face gone red, eyes hooded with uncontrollable lust as he groans aloud at your words. He likes it. “You’re so hot, baby. Cock’s so hard just for me,” his breathing gets heavier. “Gonna cum soon? Do it. Be good and cum all o-” He suddenly grabs both your wrists in his hand, stopping you from doing or saying anything else.

“Get on your fucking knees.”

You weren’t expecting that at all, which has you smirking and doing exactly what he says. Getting off his lap, you settle on the ground in front of him. You watch Kageyama intently as he stands right in front of you, cock in his dominant hand. He rubs himself, shallow jerks near the head of his big cock, with his other hand resting itself at the back of your head.

“I’m about to.. Can I?” his gasps get louder as he reaches the brink of climax. You stick your tongue out, a nice distance away from him, willing to accept all the love he has to offer. You admire the way his cock stills, and with a moan that has you throbbing, spurts of his cum land in your mouth. White ropes paint your tongue and face as Kageyama looks down at you, gasping for breath. You swallow his seed, all while never breaking your eye contact.

The movie has been long done, leaving you two alone in the now quiet room. Your thighs rub together, still in need for his touch even though he looks utterly exhausted. “You wanna sleep now, baby?” you simply say as he pulls his pants up, adjusting his now softening cock. Kageyama grabs a small cloth from his bag and begins wiping your face clean.

“No,” he discards the cloth and picks you up bridal style, walking you two to your bedroom. “It’s not that late. And, I still think I have a lot to learn..”

“Don’t you have practice tomorrow morning?”

“This is just endurance training.”

- TAGLIST -

(taglist continues in the replies!!)

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #kageyama smau #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio #kageyama smut #no.1 fan #bad hours #admin kae

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twitchesandstitches · 5 years

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Aradia’s Playful Ghost Rampage

It was that time of year again, the very favorite-est season of Aradia Megido, Burgundy Goddess of Death and Secrets, and a prime time for giving mortals a healthy bit of a fright.

Even in the distant eons as a mortal herself, before she and her friends had ascended to divinity and reshaped the cosmos into a more pleasing design, she had loved the fall. Small wonder that when they had worked into localized religious variants of their creations to make holidays that pleased them, Aradia had chosen to invest into many cultures a sense of liminal time for the fall; an idea that it was when the lands of the dead and the living touched again. And others just found that time of year kind of ominous, which suited her fine!

Aradia had something of a tradition. Every year, on this time, if there was nothing else for her to occupy herself with, she would descend to the mortal world with as little power as she could use in order to actually fit near them, and give them the best scare she could!

Sometimes, the others joined her, but not this year. At least, not yet. Aradia left the halls of the gods, knowing that Terezi Pyrope, the top goddess and leader of them all, was giving her a grin and totally having Karkat watch the proceedings. That just encouraged Aradia to smile, and decide to put on the best show she could, off the top of her head.

She seemed to disappear to them. She simply willed herself to dissipate into the multiverse, and focus her essence to her target: a city on a nice little world in one of the less excitable universes, in an mild cross-section of the multiverse. At least, the bits of it suitable for mortal life! She had a hard time going to the immortal realms, owing to her connection to death and time (which were not things that most immortals really understood or experienced) but she would get there eventually and surprise them good. And perhaps seek out all their interesting secrets. But that was for another time.

Universes rippled and politely shifted away as Aradia descended from the divine plane that she and the other divinities occupied when not incarnated on the mortal realm somewhere. She was pretty good at working out how to keep her divine power without having to incubate it as a regular mortal for a few dozen years or so, but with her etheric mass as big as a couple universes, there was a lot of Aradia to push on down.

She compromised, leaving the vast majority of her power behind, to draw her back when she had her fun. It was so tiring to do that she almost free fell, out of control, with most of her just flying away.

Oh no, I lost too much! She realized as she became minuscule, shrinking away to a tiny microscopic fraction of her true glory. She was dwindling,, becoming so tiny, so… helpless… She tried to muster her courage, and not think about it too much. It would only be for a short while, of course! That made her feel a bit better, and it helped to suddenly be oriented properly by her arrival in the world.

She estimated herself to be at less than five percent of her usual power. The shrunk down, hands off version of her she became in the mortal world, anyway; she’d never been this tiny, not since before she ascended to godhood. She scowled, not liking this massive reduction; still, it was only for a short time. She put a lot of effort into these pranks, after all. Still… Vriska would tease her about it, she knew it, and she’d have to make her pay somehow.

Even down to a tiny fraction of her power, her mere presence did things to the world. A wave of ghostly pressure raced out, making leaves fall and grass move without wind, windows rattle and doors open and close all on their own. It set up, in every part of this world, a perfect spooky ambience!

Aradia didn’t do that deliberately but she certainly didn’t mind. And she might have claimed otherwise later on.

Upon the little world she chose to mess with, here and now, the epicenter of her shockwave as she entered local reality came from a city, ordinary in all respects, and they soon found their view of the sky blocked. Far above them, the sky darkened, and for a moment they wondered if clouds had twisted up to block out the sun. It grew darker still, taking on solid form, and they saw something vast, too big to be properly seen. A vast curvature, rising from somewhere just out of view, looming high over everything, something massive and blunt extending over and pointing right down at them.

Translucency faded away. What seemed to them a vast pillar became solid and moved, rising up… up. Moving with a terrible ponderousness, as inevitable as the movement of continents, and the people below saw the vastness behind it, the same deep dark color of an adult troll’s skin, and there were more pillars behind it, folded up organically, and as it moved above them, they realized, with a shock, that it was a massive hand.

And with a marvelous sense of drama, there came the rest of Aradia Megido.

Her face appeared before them, looking as large as the moon; for all they knew, it might have been bigger. (It wasn’t, not now.) Broad and cute and beautifully alien. Her massive, brown-red lips were quirked into an impish smile, and beside her vast cloud of hair and the imposingly huge spiked ram-horns curling behind her head, they could make out nothing else. They could barely see her at all; she was so large that they were but barely perceptible specks to her, and only her divine senses permitted her to make them out at all.

The whole city stopped, and for miles around, entire countries halted too, and to a soul every single person gaped at the terrifying scale of the troll goddess descending upon them.

Aradia said nothing, just smirking. She waggled her finger teasingly, floating above the ground and slowly lowering her hand just like a mean child about to do something awful to an anthill. And as she lowered her hand, everyone had a sobering thought mingled with sudden horror; they were the ant.

Aradia let them hold that thought, savoring the tension rising up below her. She let it build, and build, just like a balloon floating up.

Yes. That’s it. ...Here I come.

Once again, her finger waved above the city, and then she thrust it down the vast hoof-like nail extending from it as broad across as the entire city. There should have been a vast dust cloud as her hand struck, sinking down and into the earth, and nothing could have withstood the impact of something so massive and so strong.

Below her, everything was complete chaos; cars ran desperately, people fled in terror, many people built up pillow forts in their fear and hid beneath the blankets, and the finger deliberately lowered, into the city, down to her knuckle-

By this point, miles of pitch-dark flesh moving through buildings and people without so much as disturbing a mote of dust. She was phasing through the concrete and steel and plastic compounds, and all the living things within, seemingly as immaterial as the air.

Over the course of a few minutes, people slowed. They stopped running, came to a stop and looked at once another with mounting expressions of embarrassment, mortification and even glowering anger. Cars stopped, people climbing out and poking at her hand and staring when they just moved through it. Even some bugs did that very thing, flying about and trying to avoid the teasing wall.

“GOTCHA!” Aradia boomed, drawing her hand back. In an instant, she moved away from the city, floating back, back, going high up into the air. She giggled again, far away that they could make her out. A broad burgandyblood troll woman floating up, her belly heavy and helping to support breasts massive even for notoriously buxom trolls, her hips wider even than her shoulders and her backside projecting out like a very impressive shelf. Thick seemed a poor word to describe her.

She grinned again, making finger guns at the city. “I got you good,” she said, winking to show no harm meant, and she flew away into the Earth, to find another city to mess with.

This time, she was gonna pretend to boob slam them. And then maybe the next one, she’d pretend she was going to swallow the whole city whole!

She giggled, just thinking about it. Distantly, Aradia’s friends watched her through divine perceptions, and there was a gloomy scowl from Karkat Vantas, the Red God of Bonds and Friendship. “Do you think we should… I don’t know, get her to quit that?”

Terezi Pyrope, the true goddess in charge of the new cosmology, Teal Goddess of Justice and Motherhood (as her extremely gravid frame made very clear), placed a claw to her lips. She grinned fiendishly. “I say we join her!”

“Yeah, okay, good ol’ mortal freak out. I’ll get the googly eye masks.”

“Sweet! ...Those are scary, right?”

“Fuck if I know, probably.”

“Sweet.”

#/#//#///#////#/////#queued #fics #my writing #aradia #homestuck #repost #i believe this was originally a request and it might have been a seed for the 'HS characters being incarnate gods' theme in my AUs?#also large aradia is always good

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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March 25th-March 31st, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from March 25th, 2019 to March 31st, 2019. The chat focused on Tamberlane by Caytlin Vilbrandt.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Tamberlane by Caytlin Vilbrandt~! (https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until March 31st to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Where do you think Tamberlane is from? Is she from Abroad as some characters have suggested? What do you think Tamberlane’s past history is? Last, what do you think will happen when Tamberlane’s origins are uncovered?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Yay! Hi all! I can't wait to talk about Tamberlane with you!

I'll add my answers to the discussion when I'm more awake =w=

Delphina

I remember reading the first chapter of Tamberlane once upon a time; so happy to have the opportunity to catch up again and see where it's gone!

I love just about every scene with Oakewood or Piper because they're both hilarious, but this one probably wins for me. He's such a good reverse psychology grandpa. https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-94/

Close second is Piper's brilliant plan because I am also a saleswoman at heart: https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-110/

Delphina

All signs definitely point to the idea that Tamberlane is from Abroad, and I'm very curious about what's so scary about it. (My guess is that it's the world of Humans and animal-types get treated like animals there, which would explain their fears). From the conversation with Tagg and Danger, I suspect there's internal conflict in the land of Abroad (a plague? a war?), and Tamberlane was sent out baby-on-the-river-style by a well-meaning mom that wanted her to have a better life. Tamberlane seems to be good at making friends, though, so I think even if they confirm that she's from Abroad, the community will still accept and protect her. It very much feels like "it takes a village to raise a child" is a big central theme in this comic.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oooh, that's an interesting theory!

I definitely wanted to explore It Takes a Village in this story for sure

I didn't grow up in any tight-knit neighborhoods and our distant family was either extra distant or just not close emotionally, so I don't really know what that kind of mentality is like on a personal level. I wanted to see what I could figure out with a story like that. :3

As for MY answers......:3c 1. My favorite scene in the comic so far is probably still this one dang page because it came out exactly like I wanted it to in my head.

2. Obviously I can't comment much on this due to spoilers, but I do think when her origins come to light, people are gonna flip their dang lids. :3

Delphina

I think you did a really good job of conveying a close, loving community! I can tell even between minor characters there's a lot of kindness and support in this setting and it's very refreshing to read!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Yaaaay :D

I know for a little bit early on in the writing, I was planning a more contentious environment around Belfry ("what a hassle") but then was like, who wants to read that? Not me. Screw that, lol

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Why do you think Follybrook is held in such low disregard? Who exactly are the creatures who occupy Follybrook? Also, what do you make of the rumors that Follybrook residents are disappearing because of something happening Abroad?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Hmmm, my favorite character is hard to choose. I love them all. But right now, I'd say probably Belfry. She tries so hard, and she didn't get a lot of spotlight in Chapter 3, and I really want to do more interaction with her and Tamberlane in Chapter 4.

As for Follybrook... :3

varethane

I like Briar! Something about her combination of moodiness and compassion just gets me, haha

Delphina

Briar is an MVP for sure

varethane

Oakewood and Piper are second (I'm really enjoying watching Oakewood pretend he doesn't actually CARE about Tamberlane, he's just studying! It's not parenting, nope)

(Piper because she is a hilarious troll)

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Briar has a special place in my heart for sure! She's me when I was 13, lmao. Though, a little more confrontational than I was XD

varethane

I dunno about Follybrook, though I get the impression it's closer to Abroad than Treehollow is? Which I guess might be why it's being affected first by whatever's happening out there.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

You are correct! Follybrook is on the "border" of Abroad. Sort of the last gasp of civilization so to speak.

varethane

(yess)

Nanners

Oh damn, was not expecting lore when I popped into this channel

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Mwahahaha

Delphina

Belfry is definitely a sweetie, but I feel like I need to see her not in crisis and/or mom mode to really connect with who she is and what she's about. I'm looking forward to more stuff with her in Chapter 4 and the scenes with her and Tamberlane are always very sweet, but I'd also like to see more of who she is as an individual when she's not being defined by her relationship to others.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

That is a good thing to note!

varethane

same, re: Belfry

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

-scribbles notes- All I'd heard so far from folks was wanting more scenes with her and Tam, so that's a good thing for me to think about going forward!

Delphina

Oakewood is probably my favorite too because he's clearly got this "big fish in a small pond" sort of wisdom and crusty outside/softie inside personality that's just perfect. I'm looking forward to how Milo's introduction might accent or challenge that.

(Also does Milo have a pet moth because I want 40) https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-125/

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

He totally does

A big ol fluffy moth named Sophie

Delphina

Awwwwww, Sophie looks so soft!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Since he's a cameo, in the reference character that was provided, he actually had a pet spider!

But I decided I did not want to stare at reference photos up close of a spider

So Sophie became a moth XD

Delphina

Oooooh

varethane

oooo

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene is probably the one where tamberlane tries to help the crow guy and the crow guy goes all prejudiced. and then oakewood swoops in and calls her his grandaughter and yells at the guy. i like seeing tamberlane still trying to be helpful, but i also like oakewood way more clearly defining their relationship cause that opens up a whole new can of worms and kind of adds some vulnerability to him. also, has a great ending where milo comments on this and oakewood tells him to shut up XD https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-140/ 2) i think Abroad has been mentioned way too much for Tamberlane to not be from aborad. This is not to mention a) they don't know what a human is and b) they seem relatively unfamiliar whats going on in Aborad land. So i mean, all the clues only point to one place. unlike @Delphina , im actually assuming a darker route. cause tamberlane seems kind of neglected so im not sure this is a situation of well meaning mom. more like mom who might of tried and gave up. im also less optimistic about ppl saying its fine tamberlane is from abroad. cause there seems to be a lot of built up prejudice there and man, idk. prejudice is hard to just flip at the turn of a hat.

Delphina

But yeah, if Follybrook is super-close to Abroad, then that sorta explains why the villagers treat them as social pariahs more than "those kids with their piercings and bad attitudes who are only let in once a year". The big drama in which Tess revealed that if Belfry went there for even a GOOD reason like trying to care for Tamberlane, she'd be full-out exiled was pretty shocking. Because yeah, if Abroad was simply dangerous and full of monsters, I can't imagine why it would be wrong or bad to come back; the big fear would be that you WOULDN'T come back. It seems like Abroad almost has a demonic/evil status in their minds and that they believe (rightly or wrongly) ANY contact would fundamentally change a person or attract something bad. I just struggle with the fact that if Abroad has so much mindshare in the fabric of their society, and if Tamberlane (and maybe all humans) are from there, absolutely nobody what a human looks like or have any stories that might help them identify Tamberlane as one? If there was something big and scary that I was to stay away from at all costs, I'd want to know what it looked like.

RebelVampire

3) my favorite character is definitely oakewood bar none. i am a sucker for grumpy guys. but i especially like oakewood cause hes not the stereotypical grumpy guy. cause usually old grump guys are the most prejudiced. but in this case oakewood is actually the more forward thinking of the bunch. when everyone else was telling belfry to just abandon tamberlane hes just like "nah come live with me." and then tolerates her clumsiness and all that jazz. its great contrast that plays on expectations and i love it. 4) I assume the creature occupying follybrook are just regular creatures. but ya know, prejudice and all that. which i think the comic does a good job of showing through example how prejudice works. all the characters weve known seem to have this fear and sort of "they're different think" about them. so as a reader you cant help but think "oh they must be different" even tho that might not necessarily be the case. As for the rumors, I assume theyre based on truth. Maybe some secret slave ring or something. Though not sure what it has to do with what might be going on in abroad.

yeah you make a good point @Delphina . for a place they seem to hate so much its just flat out exile, they dont seem to know much about it. or at least anything that theyre willing to talk about yet. which its strange even follybook folks who are closer are just kind of vague about what they know of abroad

Nanners

Hey @Caytlin (Tamberlane) , you mentioned that you spent a lot of time making the bartering system. Tell us about it!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

I can say, at least, that a lot of these topics will be broached in Chapter 4! :3 I can't wait to see reactions, haha

AS FOR BARTER! Oh god the barter system. I read some novels, did some research on different kinds of monetary systems. The world of Tamberlane is sort of a socialist utopia where folks' basic needs are taken care of and the town bands together to care for each other. You do work for the town, the town does work for you. So there's not a lot of, like, "how much does this cost" so much as "what of my work can I trade you"

Which! Let me just say, I have a HELL of a time trying to write and get that across

If I did it over, they'd just have a dang money system lmao

Nanners

I dunno, it makes sense that a small town would work on a trade and favor system. I live in a tiny neighborhood in the country, and things tend to work like that

A side quest economy, essentially

TimmoWarner

This isn't story related (or only tangentally), but I love seeing the groups of pallette changes when you look at all the pages in a grid on the archive.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oh yeah it totally makes sense! It's a good story decision! It's just difficult to get across narratively and causes more confusion than it helps when it comes to telling a story

Also :'D Thanks Timmo!! I really enjoy having different palettes for different scenes!

Folks are just more used to parsing "I bet you five bucks" rather than "I bet you six months of library research"

Nanners

I bet you 15 pounds of pickled beets

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

It's much easier when you have a good like that, yeah! Trying to figure out what Oakewood would offer was tough XD

Nanners

Does scowling count as a good or service?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

It's like a kissing booth!

But it's a scowling booth

2 pence per scowl

TimmoWarner

Oakewood offers access to the "good" books in the back room.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

"Y'like that, do ya? Yeah?" "Oakewood... this is a book about gardening" "THE BEST BOOK ABOUT GARDENING, THANK YOU"

TimmoWarner

Exactly.

Nanners

Is it cannon that Oakewood's a good DM?

Delphina

I would totally play DND with Oakewood

He would totally murder the party though

Nanners

What class would everyone be?

Milo as a wizard, obviously

Henry as a paladin

Belfry cleric?

Delphina

(Except she keeps rolling critical fails?)

Nanners

Constantly rolls low on cure wounds

Delphina

-7 Dexterity

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oh oh I was thinking about this recently lol!

Tess is a Barb for sure

Belfry might be a wild magic sorcerer lmao

I totally can see Oake as the DM though yeah LOL

Delphina

Oake would be constantly complaining about all the weird stuff the players do.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

"Rrrrr, another five minute break, I DIDN'T PLAN FOR THIS."

TimmoWarner

So... the climax is the coyote character was right all along?

I thought... we'd fight a monster or something.

"Why would you want to fight a monster?!"

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

LOL

"The real monster was your stubborn refusal to accept the truth all along"

TimmoWarner

Haha

(Though I suspect Oakewood actually likes swashbuckling stories.)

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

He does; he also likes romance

He's a cranky old softy

TimmoWarner

I think I knew about the romance.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Yeah, that was one of the first character Q&A comics

Delphina

I can definitely see him taking a stance of fictional relationships being so much better than real ones because when you're done with them you can put them on the shelf.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Lol! Omg so true

darch

It's late, but I just found out about this, so some thoughts until I get to be around when other people get to be around.

(1) My favorite page is definitely page 81. Because (a) the punch line is fantastic, (b) it lands right in the middle of a really emotional scene without undercutting the emotion even a bit, and (c) it is the most perfect summation of the Belfry Existential Dilemma, which is made up of two parts: (i) you can't mess this up and (ii) you are going to mess this up. Magnificent.

(2) Tamberlane is from the future. Obviously.

(3) With apologies to all of the well-realized and multi-faceted characters at play in this story, Sophie is and shall always be my one true love because SHE IS SO FLUFFY AND I LOVE HER. My opinion is extremely biased; Milo is my cameo (though not my Cameo cameo, that would be weird) and worth it just for the fluffbug sidekick.

darch

Milo was original a My Little Pony character of mine, and I continue to think that having a spider sidekick is great. For a look at Midnight Sun and Sophie before they were translated to the Tamberverse, have a look at [cw and spoiler because spider]

SPOILER

https://www.dropbox.com/s/ff7o7k5jda5pfgo/midnight-sun-the-adventurer.png?raw=1 (that art also by Caytlin).

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What do you believe happened to Belfry’s biological parents? How might Belfry’s abandonment issues regarding them play a role in how she raises Tamberlane (both positively and negatively)?

RebelVampire

5) okay. ill fully admit this is not the most epic illustration i could pick, but i really love this full body of tamberlane on this page https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-100/ tamberlane was always cute, but this is the one where my heart was stolen. like everything about her look is precious and makes you want to snuggle and protect her till the end of days. and i also like how contrasting it is to how she was before, so even without words you can tell time has passed and growth has occured and i really like. 6) Honestly, I think theyre imprisoned some how. But tbf i ironically want them to be alive and fine and showcase its the fact they were auto exiled thats the problem. And that they couldve been with belfry at any time but nope, rules and prejudice and such. but thats just my headcanon. I'm more interested in how itll affect how belfry raises tamberlane, and in a lot of senses i think its going to be a negative impact. like i feel belfry is kind of obsessed with making sure tamberlane feels loved and accepted. and while on the surface that sounds great, what happens if she has to punish tamberlane severely? is she going to panic tamberlane not feel loved and not do it? is it going to be lighter than it should? belfry already showed when she took in tamberlane that shes hyper conscious about her abandonment, and i dont think tamberlane alone is gonna make that hyperconsciousness about it go away. but on the otherhand, maybe by association others will confront belfry and make her talk about her feelings.

lonelytuatara

to reiterate what i said in the general webcomic chat: i only just started reading and the art is soo pretty!!

lonelytuatara

continuing to read: belfry pulling the pie out of the oven without mitts..... child.........

darch

She is a problem.

lonelytuatara

:O the "ghost"!!!!

lonelytuatara

"congratulations, it's a swamp monster" made me chuckle

lonelytuatara

got to page 100! tamberlane's lil pigtails are adorable

lonelytuatara

all the way caught up now! i really liked the comic and i'm excited to continue following it!

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Aaaa yay :'D I'm glad you're enjoying it!!!

lonelytuatara

i'm gonna let it sink in for a bit before i go to answer the book club questions, but overall I found it a enjoyable mix of comforting and intriguing! im always glad to find stories where trans and nonbinary characters are treated as just a normal part of society

darch

There are many things to like about Tamberlane. The gorgeous art and casual representation are high on that list for me.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

./)//w//(\

I will get around to answering the latest q's in a bit. I'm pretty wiped out today =w=;;; but! I am super happy people are enjoying the comic and convo :'D

Rebel, you made a great point about how Belfry obsesses over Tamberlane. I love it.

anonus

Tamberlane is a beautiful comic

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Thank you! :D

kayotics

so, i just started, like... 10 minutes ago so I'm not very far, but the art is extremely cute and i love the expressions and colors. Really great shapes on all the characters. the main strokes of each character's personality is painted straight away in a really strong way, too

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Oh my gosh, thank you >u<;;; I'm so glad

anonus

@Caytlin (Tamberlane) so, um, how did you come up with the idea for Tamberlane?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

So! I had spent a couple of years trying to write a comic and was just writing myself in circles and running into walls. Finally I got really fed up with not having a project so I said, FINE, next story idea to come into my head, I'M JUST GONNA DO IT. And then during D&D the next week I was doodling creatures and I drew Belfry and Oakewood and was like Ooo I like them. Then I drew Tamberlane's previous form, a little dragon, and was like oh hey they're taking care of an unknown creature, that's fun! And then I was like, actually a little dragon is not weird enough to set her apart from a buncha animals ... Oh hey what about if she's human?? And within a month I had started the comic haha

I wanted to challenge myself to do a project where I allowed myself to make mistakes and not be perfect and not worldbuild myself into a pit

varethane

I think that's pretty important, is the willingness to be flexible and play around

with longform webcomics, when it takes so long to make something, and you're working on the same story for years..... people grow as creators, and as people, and develop different tastes and learn things..... and it'd be a shame to not be able to express that if you're stuck to the same script you wrote 5 years ago, lol

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Exactly!! When you think about like every longform webcomic taking like at least 5 years ... there's not a lot of years where you can be creating compared to the number of stories in your head.

And I really just wanted to make something and get my hands dirty. So it's been a really interesting experience, half following a plan and half throwing it out the window lol!

varethane

for what it's worth, from a reader's perspective, it flows very nicely

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Thank goodness, haha! I always worry. XD

anonus

yeah it definitely flows nicely

also I've never played D&D

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

D&D is a lot of fun with the right group! And endlessly frustrating with the wrong one. XD But if you end up having a group of friends online or off, it's totally worth trying it out!

anonus

I do have lots of online friends! Don't get out enough offline at the moment though

also what inspired you to become an artist

stubat

Hi, all! just spotted the invite. Busy bat. Love Tamberlane!

I'll try to catch up with you all tomorrow evening, if I get a chance. Midnite now, kinda slow and I've got work in the morning. Belfry forever!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What has been your favorite moment in regards to how Tamberlane has been accepted or not accepted in Treehollow? What about it made the moment emotionally compelling and what should we take away from it in regards to discrimination and acceptance?

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

Heeeey Stubat! <3

5. My favorite illustrations seem to be a rotating toss up of Belfry & Tam in the sunrise, Oakewood walking along the docks with Piper/Anthony/Tamberlane at sunrise, and the full shot of the Library at night(edited)

6. :3c(edited)

7. I really enjoy writing Briar and Belfry interacting. Small factoid that I don't think will ever be revealed in the story: the bulky blue and white scarf she's been wearing this chapter is one Belfry knitted for her (poorly). It's knotty and has a lot of gaps, but it was a work of love, and Briar wore it because 1) she loves it and she loves Belfry no matter what, and 2) sort of as a good luck token for Tess and Bel to make up.

Oh super belatedly, another thing about Follybrook: I LOVED that a lot of readers jumped to the conclusion that they were Othered because they were punky/bad tempered/non-binary. And then I loved watching them come to the realization that there were a lot of characters in Treehollow that fit those descriptions so it had to be something else. I think someone specifically called it out as an allegory for trans people, and then a couple readers mentioned Marie and they were like ... oh huh, hm.

I like making people think lol!

8. Hmm, I think I like the interaction with Leon, the grumpy crow. It was a scene that was written late in the game (like, during the scene before lol!) and I put up an auction for Leon's cameo slot. I really enjoyed being able to pack in a lot of underlying meaning to the interaction, and remind readers that Tamberlane's transition to creature society is not as smooth or effortless as it's seemed.

Plus, yeah, deciding on a whim to have Oakewood call her his granddaughter and out himself and his feelings was fun :3

Delphina

There are SO MANY cute/loving character interactions, but I think when Briar is relaying her mom's message to Belfry really stood out to me because of how much she clearly cares and how torn she is in the middle of their conflict.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Which of the parents did you connect with the most in regards to how they parent their child(ren)? What do you think we can learn about life in regards to the various parent/child dynamics work and growing up?

RebelVampire

7) Probably Piper and Tamberlane. Unlike all the other relationships where its either warm fuzzies or kind of understandable anger and drama, theirs is the relationship i think is built entirely upon misunderstandings and kids being kids. Cause at the end of the day, Piper is still a kid so i have some forgiveness in her initial treatment of tamberlane. because honestly she probably just doesnt fully grasp yet the consequences of her actions. but its interesting to see how their relationship has been one of tension where youre really not sure if the trauma can be overcome or not. so that makes it really interesting. 8) I liked that small moment when Walter kind of took Tamberlane away from the fighting. Cause holy crap was that a significant change going from "your mistake" to here let me protect this little one. it was such a small thing but it really demonstrated the time passage and also kind of reflected that sometimes non acceptance is less about hatred, more about unfamiliarity. not to say he might not think shes a mistake, but that still was a lot warmer of an interaction than i expected and showed he cared. https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/tamberlane/page-132/

9) I love a lot of the little visual details on Tess. Like the scars, the bit that's taken out of her ear. It really shows off her past. And its just one of those super good character details a lot of people dont utilize and adds so much character to the character. <3 10) I actually connected with Avery the most, but this is in large because i was raised by a single mother. And to me i think Avery really captured that balance of needing to work, trying to be there for your kid, while also not really able to be there all the time cause of the work issue. So while Piper may not be the best behaved of the children, it's totally understandable given the circumstances and i give props to avery seeming to make it work regardless. overall, though, i think what we can learn about the various parent and child dynamics is that 1) parents are winging it and 2) while parents are a big influence, theres a point you have to divorce yourself from them and make your own choices in life.

snuffysam

aaah i finally caught up and this comic is so good! it's kind of late where i am rn, so I'm just gonna cut right to the chase and say - oakewood is my favorite character, hands down. i couldn't tell you why, but I'm just a sucker for the gruff, older guy with a heart of gold

TimmoWarner

Everyone loves Oakewood.

He'd be the best character if not for Marie.

Caytlin (Tamberlane)

I definitely took a lot of inspiration for Oakewood from the cranky old guy in Wolf Children lol! That's his voice in my head too (the dub version)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Which aspect of the comic’s world caught your attention the most? Alternatively, what world aspect are you hoping to see explored more? What culture detail do you think is the most significant when it comes to the story?

snuffysam

I think the strongest aspect of the comic is its theming. Just the overarching theme of parenthood, and how the best of intentions don't always work out the way you planned. You can see that theme everywhere in the story (from big things like Belfy & Tess's fight to smaller things like Belfy's clumsiness), and it all fits togeter SO well.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you believe Belfry might have to go Abroad for Tamberlane as Tess ominously worries about? Why do you believe creatures who go Abroad get banned? How might what goes on in Abroad affect their lives regardless?

RebelVampire

11) I feel the comic's strength is showing relationships and having that be a major drive of the story. Like there's no shortage of parenting styles, friendships, or anything else. And everything is about how the characters work off one another. And no character is really all black and white either. they just all have different views and different ways of handling things. so i think that makes all the character interactions interesting since you never know quite what youre gonna get ever instance. 12) The aspect that caught my eye the most was the presence of another spoken language. I hope it's explored more where that comes from and such, cause its a really interesting facet given everyone else is otherwise speaking the same language. the other detail im really interested in seeing explore is how the world is set up. like we know there are sailors who go around and explore but avoid aborad, so im curious what their known world is like in its totality. 13) I'm looking forward to seeing Belfry grow more and come more into her own. Atm, I kind of feel shes still just a kid trying to figure stuff out, so itll be interesting to see how tamberlane changes and effects her maturity levels. 14) Yes. Aborad feels like it's brought up too many times for belfry to not have to go. But I feel going will be a good thing cause it will kind of force the world to maybe stop ignoring abroad and accept that its part of the world too, whether they want it to be part of it or not.

varethane

I wanna find out what Tamberlane's deal is!

And also what's going on in Abroad, there've been hints about it being a strange and dangerous place and I am excited to find out what it's actually like.

lonelytuatara

I wonder if Abroad is like..... a portal to the regular human world or something!

or if it's still in the same world but with more humans

varethane

That's kinda my theory

The fact that they're SO nervous about it makes me wonder if it is closer to the portal thing

Would make it feel more alien to them

lonelytuatara

yea!!

like it seems like even GOING close to it is seen as dangerous, not just entering the actual place

ohh also speaking of different locations: follybrook! my theory on it, based on the way that characters interacted w folks from follybrook, is that body modifications like piercing and docking (and maybe even gender-related body mods) are a cultural taboo in Silver Sage

so anyone from silver sage who Wants to do those things has to move to follybrook, and the creatures of follybrook have just as much disdain for the ol' fuddyduddies who refuse to let people do what they want with their bodies as the creatures of silver sage have for them

also it seems like metal is Important to silver sage's culture in some specific way, like it has spiritual significance

altho i could just have misread

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Tamberlane this week! Please also give a special thank you to Caytlin Vilbrandt for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Tamberlane, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tamberlane

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Ko-Fi: https://www.ko-fi.com/pixelprism

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Paypal.me: https://www.paypal.me/pixelprism

Caytlin Vilbrandt’s Shop: https://www.tamberlanecomic.com/shop/

Tamberlane’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/tamberlanecomic

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superpotatesme00 · 7 years

Text

(Pidgance Fanfic) by AIR

Notes:

Sorry for the wait :(

Read: [Previous] || [Next] || [AO3 Link]

SO HERE IT IT^^

Becoming Aware

Chapter 3/4:

Pigeons Fly Away If You Chase Them.

Hunk was in the kitchen as usual. He was mixing up another new recipe with a level of enthusiasm that would kill a nonfood lover. His apron was tied neatly in the back and he was so methodical in his preparation that you wouldn’t have thought he studied at the Garrison but instead at some high-end culinary school. Sadly, Hunks enthusiasm only affected himself rather than have any affect on the people around him. Next to him leaned a tall lanky boy whose blue eyes were lost in daydream.

“Hey, Hunk. Am I gross?” The question left Lance’s lips as he turned away and leaned his lower back on the counter.

Hunk was a bit taken aback by the question. He didn’t stop what he was doing but instead simply arched his brows. Lance’s comment was…well unexpected.

“What??? Why would you think that Lance?” Lance stayed gazing at the ceiling as Hunk placed the meow chow in the oven.

“Well I mean, like- Pidge, has been all like…She’s been avoiding me.” Lance turned to face Hunk. “I was just wondering if like, ya know… She thinks I’m gross or something…”

Hunk eye’s turned to meet Lance’s. His face seemed desperate. He was confused and his eyes prayed that his own assumption was wrong. It was rare to see Lance this way. He was usually a confident guy. Painfully confident. So much so that it sucked the energy out of those around him. Hunk put down his mittens and quickly attempted to uplift his best friend’s mood.

“No no, Pidge has always been like that Lance-“

“AW QUIZZNACK! I mean WHO AM I KIDDING! Who would ever think this beautiful masterpiece is gross?! (*scoff*) Holy crow! I mean look at me dude I’m freaking gorgeous!”

Hunk closed his mouth. Yep, there he is.

“Whatever dude! I mean Pidge is probably just intimidated by my dashing good looks and jealous of my skills! Hahahha I mean, they don’t call me the “best shot” for nuthin! Why ELSE would she be avoiding me? Uhuh huh yeah that’s it!” Lance nodded in alliance with himself.

Hunk kept a straight face with his lips in a grim line.

“But Pidge is like a total genius Lance. I mean sure she isn’t as strong as us but hey what does she have to be jealous about?”

Lance hadn’t ended his rant. He continued to pace around, eye closed, with his thumb resting underneath his chin as he nodded along with his own outspoken thoughts.

He suddenly stopped mid-pace.

“A genius huh…? Well I mean that’s…true…But it’s not cool that bushy brows keeps avoiding me man! It’s like I'm not good enough to be ‘round her!? We’re supposed to be a team! And her telling me she’s a “girl” isn’t gonna change that!”

“Wait. Who said anything about her being a girl?”

“Huh? Wha-Nevermind…” Lance waved a hand in front of his face to swat away his mumbling.

“Well, I don't know dude…it’s not like she thinks she’s is better than us, just that she’s never been keen on being part of our team. Even back at the Garrison she…-”

“WELL IM NOT HAVING IT HUNK! She is part of the team!” Even if Keith’s included…”

Hunk couldn’t help but think that Pidge, although a girl, had never had any problems with any one else in the team. She kept to her self mostly but got along just fine with everyone else. She was fully capable of having a good laugh with any of them. And yet, with Lance she was particularly distant from…

He just has this way of always being in your personal space…affectionately of course.

A bulb lit up in Hunk’s head and he rested his fist in his palm.

“Why dontcha’ hang out with her Lance! I’m sure if you guys bonded and stuff she’d be bound to notice how cool you are!”

Lance twirled around to lean his elbows on the counter, keeping his hand on his chin.

“Bonding eh…?” He scrunched his face and pouted his lip as he contemplated the idea.

Suddenly he stretched over the counter and aggressively pulled Hunk closer by the shoulders.

“YOU’RE A FUCKING GENIUS!”

The blue paladin instantly leapt away and ran for the door so quickly that he almost slipped turning the corner.

“No plans tonight big guy! We’re pulling an all-nighter!”

Hunk stood dumbfounded until he frantically remembered his meow chow was still in the oven.

Pidge had never been more terrified in her life. She’d seen her family announced missing on the news, flown in a strange space lion with Lance at the wheel, and also fought head-on with a 10,000 year old conquerer of the universe. But for some reason having the long legs of a flirty self-proclaimed casanova persistently follow you around, made all the blood drain from her face.

It started out with her just going about her day, the same as usual…

Fresh showers in the morning were always a great way to sooth the small and stressed Pidge. Ever since THAT day she hadn’t been able to get Lance out of her mind. She tried desperately to kick him out of her thoughts, but the conversation with Allura the day before triggered even more images of that dork’s face.

This morning’s practice was significantly more laid-back than usual. Especially because, just by sheer luck, Lance had slept in and missed practice. He did however show up all prim and ready for breakfast, only to hear a mouthful of “Space Dad’s” lectures. Pidge usually would’ve thoroughly enjoyed hearing Lance get put on the spot by Shiro, but she preferred to not even make the slightest eye contact with him.

Now, safely in her room, she lightly sat on the side of her bed and rubbed her hair with the towel to dry it off. She closed her eyes for a second to relax until a sudden hint of a familiar blue popped in her head. She furiously rubbed of her head with the towel and without even bothering removing it, turned angrily to grab her laptop. She yanked it open. Her eyes glared at a series of confusing images that only a tech junky like Pidge could recognize as schematics and diagnostics.

“(*sigh~*) ok.” Her laptop instantly cooled off her sizzling annoyance as she found an overwhelming feeling of comfort in her tech work.

A quaint smile formed on her lips and she began typing new codes to further trace coordinates that possibly held the locations of her brother and father. She reached for her green headphones, that had previously been under Lance’s care. She was stretching them over her ears when she suddenly picked up on a strange noise. She slid the headphones down to her neck and looked around to find the source. It sounded like heavy shuffling in the vents. She lost interest and simply brushed it off as the mice playing around in the air ducts.

Well, whatever.

She shrugged and fit the headphones in place.

Unbeknownst to her, the shuffling continued. It moved around shifting over to right above her bed. Down below, Pidge continued to work schematics while listening to her favorite playlist. The shuffling continued. Quiet creaking hummed in response to the movement above. Unfortunately, the ceiling would not be strong enough to hold the weight of whatever was in there and suddenly burst open dropping it’s contents on top of Pidge with full force.  Pidge had been deaf to her surroundings, so when the blunt weight of a falling body struck her and yanked her headphones off, she couldn’t help but be bit terrified.

“Well, that did NOT go as planned…”

“…” Pidge stayed motionless, afraid to move even a millimeter.

“Sorry about that-“ He propped him self up.

Soft.

It took him less than a second to process that he was pinned on top of a freshly showered Pidge, on her bed, and with a face so red he couldn’t help but think she was cute.

“Are you ok Pidge?” He tried to keep his cool but soon lost all sense of rationality.

She smells good…

Almost instinctively he reached out his hand, but quickly stifled the desire by awkwardly scrambling up off of her. He sat at the far end of her bed. He neatly folded his legs underneath him trying to make himself appear smaller and hide his red face of embarrassment. Now 2 red faced idiots sat in the room.

“Oh! Uh…I-uh are you trying to find your brother?” Lance desperately tried to change the subject in attempts to erase what had just happened.

“Matt.” Pidge sat up and held an empty stare at Lance. Or maybe at the laptop next to him?

“Y-yeah! Matt! Your brother and dad.” He watched as Pidge got up, slid on her slippers and was now reaching for her laptop. She was quiet as she shut her screen she hugged it under an arm and walked towards the door.

“Wha-Wait Pidge…Where are you-?” He leapt over to the sliding door as he watched the small green paladin speed walk out of sight without saying a word.

You’d think he would’ve given up there. But, you’d be wrong. So horribly wrong.

Lance was a stubborn one.

For the next few hours, all Pidge could hear was that idiots voice reverberating through her head and the castle walls. Wherever she went, his voice followed.

“Yo Pidge!” From behind her as she was leaving the bathroom. “Hey Shorty!!” While she was shifting through the laundry room. “What up GIRL!!!” Coming from underneath the couch as she sat in the common room. “HOLA AMIGA!!!!” All the way from the other side of the training deck. “PIDGE!!!!!” Running after her as she desperately escaped through the castle corridors.

Finally Pidge snapped.

“ARGH! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! WHAT DOES HE WANT?!”

Coran couldn’t help but stare at green paladin who was furiously banging her hands on her keyboard. He was in the main deck just s happened to be curiously flipping through all the security cameras when Keith noticed the same commotion.

“Woah. Wha’t up with her?”

“Mmm.” Coran shook his head as he shrugged. “Maybe she ate a bad swail gumblr?”

“A swale- what?” Keith rarely understood half of the things Coran said.

Pidge was now comfortably alone in the green lion’s landing deck. She furiously typed away and hummed happily to the music playing through her head phones. She was ecstatic. Not only because she was getting time to do her usual tech work, but also because she was enjoying the much needed “me time” that up till now had been completely uninterrupted by Lance. A couple hours had passed since he had chased after her and she couldn’t help but smile at the thought that he had FINALLY given up.

Her enthusiasm quickly took over her as she set down her laptop and started singing along to music playing in her ears. Obviously, Pidge was short. It was a fact. But she also had funny habit of climbing onto things. Whether it be to reach things or not, it mostly was for her to feel taller. As she danced along and sang to her music she found her self enthusiastically climbing onto her lion. The clattering of her climbing caught the attention of a passerby. Keith was eating some of Hunk’s meow chow and just so happened to walk by the open door of the landing deck. He stopped short, mid-chew to see a tiny body triumphantly sitting atop the green lion perfectly rapping the lyrics of Eminem’s “Rap God”.

“THEY SAY I RAP LIKE A ROBOT, SO CALL ME RAPBOT, RAPBOT! BUT FOR ME TO RAP LIKE A COMPUTER MUST BE IN MY GENES~ I GOT A LAP TOP IN MY BACK POCKET-!”

Keith’s stared blankly, internally questioning everything he knew to be true. He decided it would be best to ignore what he had just seen. But as he walked away he wouldn’t help but mull over how much that song really suited her.

After Pidge’s self-promoting concert she came to her senses and climbed off of her lion. She was trying to fall back into her work flow but a clutter of thoughts filled her head. Lance was a hopeless idiot but when she thought about it, she couldn’t deny the fact that he was attractive.

Wait. Actually…aren’t ALL of them pretty good looking…I mean, there’s Shiro, Keith, Lance, and even Hunk…

“Why are they all so hot?” The words unconsciously left her lips.

Damn. That’s like…really annoying. Yeah, nope. Never telling anyone that.

Especially, Lance.

Out of nowhere, Pidge felt her left head phone begin to lift up.

“Found you~” The whisper sent a shiver down her spine.

Pidge let out a yelp and nearly dropped her laptop, only to turn and see the green parka of a Lance.

“WAT THE QUIZZNACK LANCE!? I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK!!!” She clenched her chest as all the adrenaline pumped through her system.

“Haha lighten up Pidge!” Lance smiled widely and leaned his weight casually to one side.

“Lighten up my ass!” She shot him a glare that made him flinch a bit.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Pidge looked away and focused back on the keyboarded while mumbling with discontent.

Lance stood behind her, leaning over slightly to see what she was doing. He couldn't help but notice that she still smelled like shampoo as it radiated out from the nap of her neck to her fluffy hair.

“So…Are you not gonna avoid me?” He braced for his inevitable rejection.

“(*sigh*) No. I figured if you’ve kept it up this long, what’s the point in avoiding you.” Pidge kept her eyes on her screen, not once looking back at Lance as she typed.

“That so???” Lance couldn’t help but form a goofy grin.

Pidge could hear Lance’s shuffling a bit as he sat on the floor. Out of the corner of her screen she could see that Lance was sitting criss cross, just 5 feet behind her, with his arms extended in front of him resting on his shoes. His eyes scanned the room and hovered over the green lion for a second before returning back to Pidge again. He swayed a bit, which was to be expected since Lance was the kind of guy that couldn’t sit still. She watched him intently from the reflection of her screen. She couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the child-like behavior and his dopey face that left his mouth slightly opened.

The giggle caught Lance’s interest and he eagerly scooted a bit closer to Pidge causing her back to stiffen slightly.

“Whatcha doing? I saw you with all those crazy looking codes on your laptop earlier. What were they called again? Schematics…???”

“Uh… Yeah actually!” Pidge was pleasantly surprised by Lance’s knowledge. She couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“Other than using my software to scan coordinates and locate my family, I’ve also been working on new upgraded features I can add to my lion-“

She turned a bit to face Lance and noticed that although he did not fully understand what she was saying, he nodded and had a glimmer of curiosity and kept his attention focused on her. Lance usually never paid much attention to the tech stuff she talked about but having him sit there so willingly was incredibly refreshing to her.

“Want me to show you how it works???” She enthusiastically kept the conversation going.

“Sure!”

Pidge went on a small spiel of the specifics in how the programming worked and how to implement its uses. Occasionally Lance would lift a quizzical brow when he didn’t understand, but having him let her explain it even more kept her on a roll. Not once did Lance’s face shift to that of boredom or disinterest. Instead, Pidge couldn’t help but think of how cute his curiosity was to her…All the while she spoke, not for a single moment did she feel flustered. But, that probably had to do with the safe distance she had from Lance.

“Holy crow Pidge! This is some fancy stuff! I wish I could do that to Blue! It’d probably take me years though haha!”

“Well I mean if you REALLY want to know I’d be down to teach you.” Pidge wasn’t one to normally offer help and was even a bit surprised by her sudden comment.

Lance was also baffled and before Pidge was consumed with embarrassment the blue paladin’s face lit up.

“THAT’D BE AWSOME PIDGE!”

“Yeah? Well, here look at this.” Pidge blushed a little and turned back to her laptop to demonstrate some specifics to the curious teenager.

“Hmm, what? You mean that?”

Pidge’s left side tingled as Lance shortened the distance between them so much that his warm breath burned her left ear. Unfortunately, that safe guard of personal space was no longer there and Pidge couldn’t help but feel overly conscious of him again. She became internally flustered and forcefully pushed his face away.

“HEY! Watch do THAT for?!” Lance rubbed his cheek that had been practically slapped.

“Too close.” She tried to maintain composure but could feel herself writhing in a bubble of embarrassment.

Calm down. Calm down.

Pidge kept her eyes down but could still see Lance rubbing his face through her peripheral.

Geez, why’d she do that?

When Lance finally put his had down it landed on the once borrowed headphones. The slightest sound could be heard from them and he picked it up to see just what kind of music Pidge here listened to.

“Aw man! I never took you for an Eminem kinda girl!”

Pidge was pulled out from her panic by Lance’s words. She turned to see him humming along to the single headphone he had pressed on his ear.

“Why do you say that?”

“Oh! Well I mean…it’s not that I don't think it suits you, just that I took you for more of a classical listening kinda genius…”

“Classical?? Pfft~! That’s like what my DAD would listen to dude! I mean sure classical is relaxing but when i’m working I need more “oomph" in my song choices!” Pidge snickered uncontrollably before falling back to lean on her arms.

“More “oomph” huh…? Let me correct that then: Eminem totally suits a techie like you.” Lance pulled a smolder and Pidge couldn’t tell if was joking or not, but regardless she liked his conclusion.

“Damn right it does!” She straightened up and smiled confidently.

Ya know…If it’s just Lance, alone…it’s actually pretty fun.

“Oh my! You’ve certainly outdone yourself Hunk! These crispy bite sized sweets you whipped up are absolutely delicious! Tastes just like my mother old morflort cakes!” Coran twirled around as he held a plate and mouth full of Hunks earlier baked meow chow.

“Yeah? I feel that the batter whipping is really what gives it good zest and texture!”

“Amazing ability as always Number 2! You must show me your recipe!”

“A chef’s secrets are never revealed- Actually, Coran, what’s up with you mustache???” Hunk couldn’t help but point out the strangely braided tails resting on the Altean’s lip.

“Oh this! Well actually Princess Alurra did it for me! Isn’t it magnificent? It brings out my eyes!”

“Yeah…It actually kinda does!” Hunk squinted at the ginger’s mustache.

“Coran, have you seen Pidge?” Allura turned the corner with a head covered in wildly inconsistent braids that were probably done by the mice again.

“Maybe with Lance? I hope it’s they’re ok though, Pidge has been acting pretty weird lately…”

“Oh! Funny that you mention that, just earlier I was observing the lion’s decks and Pidge was as angry as a wild Zworbisk!”

Allura couldn’t help but let out an awkward laugh in attempts to keep them from figuring out what was going on between the two paladins.

“A-ah-ha ha…I’m sure it is nothing…!” She forced a smile that seemed to be completely off putting to both Hunk and Coran. They both raised a distrustful brow.

Allura desperately searched her mind for a change of subject.

“A-aah…Actually! I was thinking about asking all of you to play a game with me! Since we have some free time and it would be beneficial to the team’s dynamic!” Allura cursed herself for stuttering.

“A game? What kinda game did you have in mind???” Hunk was all ears for something fun to do.

“u-Um…in Altea we called it Filhae S’qire!”

“What’s that???”

“Well my talented chef, essentially you have one player who has a set limit of ticks to find all of the other hidden players!” Coran caressed his mustache as he explained to the yellow paladin.

“Oh! So like Hide-and-Seek!”

“Yes? But, Alurra, do you think they can handle the game???”

“Of course! I used to play it as a child! I’m sure that the paladins of Voltron will have no difficulty whatsoever!”

Hunk smiled brightly, excited at the idea.

“Great! I’ll go get the others- Wait, what do you mean ‘do you think they can handle it’…”

****

THANK YOU FOR READING! Stay tuned for Chapter 4/5! :D

Read: [Previous] || [Next] || [AO3 Link]

#pidgance #flirtyrobot #plance #pidge x lance fanfic #voltron fanfic #AIR #voltron

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lifeisabeautyx · 4 years

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Fishy guy.

Well.. it’s been a while huh.. Here I am again with yet another story in my oh so sad lovelife. Get ready.

So this guy added me on Facebook like a year ago and i thought he looked kinda cute so i accepted. We didn’t really talk at all, he got in a relationship with someone and they were together for i think about a year or so. A year later i was out for dinner with my friends because it was my birthday and i got a DM on instagram from this guy wishing me happy birthday. I thanked him and that was kinda the end of the conversation.

About 2 or 3 weeks later he messaged me again on a saterday night and we kinda hit it off.. Exchanged numbers and decided to meet up pretty quickly. I was so fucking nervous for the date cause i already thought he was pretty cute and we’d totally match. He picked me up and we drove around for a while, talking about life and just alot of random shit. Honestly we were hitting it off and there was just a good vibe. He drove me back home and i was kinda head over heels. We didn’t kiss and that made me a little insecure cause i didn’t know if he liked it as much as i did. We texted a little after the date and then it was radio silence.

I was so sad cause clearly he didn’t like the date as much as i did. Decided to text him about 2 weeks later and we hit it off again. Until he said “Hey, im not really looking for a relationship or anything right now..” and again my heart broke.. FUCK.. He then said he would like to be friends with benefits with me if that’s something i would be up for. I told him i was not up for that at all and told him that i was kinda offended he thought i would just like that sleep with him. He told me i didn’t look easy at all to him and he honestly really liked me and i was defenitely was his type but he was just not ready for a relationship at the moment. Again, i told him i wasn’t up for that and we decided to just talk.

After some time we were talking on the daily and flirting with each other. This one day he knew where i was going and he drove by me just to have a quick glance at me. That night he called me on Facetime saying he wanted to hear my voice again and he wanted to see me. I was crushing on him soooo fucking hard and we just had the goofiest conversation. I loved it.

Again after some months of texting eachother non stop and some failed attempts of meeting up, it was new years eve and as the clock hits 00.00 a.m., he texted me “happy new year love ❤” after some texting i told him i’d go to bed and when I woke up on new years day i woke up from a couple different texts from him. The one that made my heart skip a beat said “Why don’t you come over tomorrow? I canceled everything for you so you can come over ❤❤❤” Since i knew he was pretty drunk that night i asked him if he was serious about what he said and that morning he said that he really did want me to come over. I agreed and went over to his house that night.

When i was on my way he texted me saying “drive savely babe” since it was pretty bad weather. I got to his house and didn’t really know how to greet him. Do i just say hi, give him a hug.. I got out of the car and didn’t really have to do anything cause he already walked inside the house and i didn’t even know where he went HAHA. I walked inside his house and he was already chilling on the couch. I took my jacket off and joined him on the other couch. We were watching a show called ‘First dates’ and he started asking me questions as “how long you been single?” we were kinda having small talk while still watching the show. Suddenly he looked at me and said “why are you still on that couch and why are you not lying here next to me?” I didn’t see that one coming at all and said to him something like “well you can come lie here too if you want..” this went on for a little while and then about 20 minutes later he took his blanket and stood up to come over and lie on the coach i was sitting on.

There he was.. The boy i was sooo crushing on was laying in my lap. We kinda stared at each other for a little while and had some small talk. Then watched the show again. He then turned his body to me and just blankly stared at me. He was deadass flirting again with me saying i looked so good and he really loved my curls while his hand was going through my hair. And there it was. OUR FIRST KISS!! he kissed me and it felt soooo good. It was just a kinda awkward position we were in since i was just sitting on the couch and he was lying in my lap haha. He got up and we kissed some more and he laid me down next to him on the couch. He started to feel me up everywhere and were just full on making out. He made a comment saying he wanted to go to his bedroom and i told him that would not be a good idea. We were still heavily making out still and he found his way in to my pants and i to his 🙈.

After about 15 minutes later and about 5 comments of him trying to get me in to his bedroom and me denying he just stood up and took my hand, kissing our way to the stairs as he walked in front of me. As we walked in to his room he turned on some dim lights and got in his bed. I took off my shoes as i lied next to him in his bed. We made out again and he suddenly was on top of me, removing my clothes from my body and i removed his clothes. And it happend. We had sex.

The sex was honestly pretty good, not gonna lie. He just came pretty quickly. As i was getting all in to it he suddenly stops and mumbled something i couldn’t hear. I asked him what he was saying and he repeated his self again saying “the first time is always quick with me” and then i realized he already came. I was just kinda confused about it all since i was just enjoying myself a whole lot about a minute ago. He then said “I’ll stay like this for a minute so it won’t come all out of you” while still being ‘inside’ me. Again i didn’t know what he was talking about and he said “I always cum a lot so if i stay inside just a little, it won’t come out flooding all out of you.” I finally understood him and it all landed haha. He lied next to me and the look on his face was just so sad and irritated. I asked him what was wrong and he said he’s just really irritated that he came that quick since it’s been a while that he had sex with anyone and he didn’t want that to happen. He got pretty mad at himself and i tried to calm him down saying that it’s okay.

He then looked at me and asked me if i wanted some tissues for all that was dripping out of me, making stains on his bed. He then said “I told you i always cum a lot hahah.” He was smiling again and that made me really happy. We lied there for a few minutes then both got up to get dressed again. We walked downstairs and he went outside to smoke a sigaret. When he got back in the house he walked over to me realll close as he showed me a funny video on his phone.

We then walked back to the livingroom and both sat on a different couch again. Immediately i thought to myself what is happening.. why are you not sitting next to me to cuddle or something. We talked some more while he was kinda distant as he was at the beginning of the evening. He then suddenly got up to light a candle that he was pretty enthousiastic over and he wanted me to smell the candle and walked over to me. He got all happy about that and i thought it was just so cute.

Some hours later i decided to go home and he said he would leave with me to go to his dad’s house. I got my stuff and we talked some more as we walked to our cars. As i walked to my car, hoping he would follow me and give me a hug or a kiss, he walked to his car and got in. We then both drove away .

On my way home he texted me talking about my driving skills that it wasn’t as bad as i made it out to be. We texted a little and the next day he didn’t say a word to me. Later that night i texted him and he immediately responds but that was it. I was getting so insecure at that moment about the whole situation. Did he just use me for sex? was i honestly falling for that bullshit?

A week went by as i build up the courage to ask him what the fuck was going on between us and what the fuck was up with him not reaching out after that night. He told me he was confused about everything and himself and life and just everything. He told me he smashed his phone and didn’t know what to do at the moment. He said he needed to go talk to his therapist again cause of his anger issues and that he didn’t know anything that was going on, including us. I asked him if he used me for sex and he told me that that was absolutely not the case, he was just confused.

Some days went by not talking to each other and while i was a night out in the city he suddenly reached out to me asking me if i was in the city. He told me that he was nearby and i could come over if i wanted to. I then said to him that i thought he was ignoring me cause he didn’t say a word to me. He told me that was not the case but since he smashed his phone, it didn’t work plus he was still so confused. We talked a little that night and the following days but then it got quite again.

Ever since that day we sometimes talk to each other on Snapchat but more on a friendly base. Till about a few months back when he replied on a snapchat saying he would love to see me again and to have his way with me again. He then told me he wanted to re-do that night again since he said he could perform better than that and he wanted to show me. I told him no since im still not up for friends with benefits. I know i would get feelings for him and i would just get hurt all over again. We talked for a bit and it made me think about the time i was with him and how good it was. It made me miss him and still hoping thing between us would work out.

WHY CAN’T I JUST FIND A GUY THAT I LIKE AND ACTUALLY REALLY LIKES ME BACK. FUUUUUCKK haha

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kc4ksu · 7 years

Text

Transition

Ironman Texas 2017, in Houston, Saturday, April 22, handed me a proposal on the word quit. On my bike in this race at mile 90 is when I decided to look into this proposal. I studied it in depth for 22 miles until I reached 112. Those 22 humiliating miles highlighted every reason why I should quit. I was convinced, by mile 112, to quit. It was time to vacate this race.

Plan A, my only plan, was to compete with the elite for a Kona Qualifying spot.

“If you fail to plan you are planning to fail,” Benjamin Franklin. And, I failed to make a back-up plan, a Plan B.

I have two incredible nieces and nephew, and their ages together add up to less than 22. I call them The Minions.

A couple weeks post-Ironman Texas The Minions and I watched an animated movie. One scene in particular caught our attention. It was about a hippopotamus and its naive audience at a zoo. The audience, who went silent at first sight of this incredible four-legged beast, erupted into excitement after a quick study. They had never laid eyes on an animal of this stature.

The hippo’s reaction to its audience was quite different. It stood motionless for a moment facing the audience and analyzing the situation. Then, casually turned 180 degrees, and began to spin its tail at increasing speed. A loud sound squeaked from its butt to provide the gift of smell to its audience. Then came the big surprise! Its tail launched dung in all directions. The audience’s faces were splattered with poo.

The poo-stricken faces reminded me of Ironman Texas and an inability to avoid disaster.

“I’m done, man. My legs and arms have been cramping since mile 90 on the bike. I ‘soft peddled’ the last 22 miles. Mentally and physically, everything is gone. Honestly, Newland, I can’t wrap my mind around a marathon at this point. A ‘finish’ isn’t why I’m here,” I said to Jason Newland who stood opposite me on the spectator side of a 4-foot tall chain link fence.

I was several hundred steps away from the T2 tent where I would soon, but not soon enough, disappear and hide from reality, or so I thought.

Both my arms draped over the chain-link fence, and as I looked at Newland he was at a loss for words. My actions weren’t fair to him as we stood face to face in this awkward situation. It was our current reality, and 180 degrees from this morning’s high fives in anticipation of crushing the race.

“Come on man, you don’t have anything to prove. It’s totally cool if you hand in your chip and call it a day,” Newland said.

Exactly what I wanted to hear! Newland’s words were comforting. Permission for freedom. It was so eloquent in this moment of despair. A type of despair I call a First World Problem. This is a problem we can easily escape by making a choice. For example, I choose to eat because I’m hungry. It’s not a life or death situation.

“Hey, one more thing,” Newland said loud enough to hear as I started walking towards T2. “You might regret it if you quit.

He deleted the one comfortable thought in my head. Newland cracked my skull open, reached in and pulled out every ‘you don’t have anything to prove’ thought, and crushed all justifications to support the proposal I studied for 22 miles on the word quit. A 26.2 mile run seemed impractical. No, it seemed impossible.

Liz, my wife, landed in Mallorca, Spain, at about the same time I was in my First World Problem. She booked this trip to shadow one of the best tri-coaches ever for a week, Brett Sutton, . She was devastated with the overlap on her trip with Ironman Texas. But this opportunity to shadow Sutton was a no-brainer to continue developing her coaching skills.

At Ironman Texas Liz wanted someone there for me who would say the right thing at the right time, especially in adverse situations.

She chose Newland.

Liz said, “Newland’s the next best thing besides me at Ironman Texas.”

Good choice. He’s a natural leader with a no-nonsence attitude, and no filter between his thoughts and mouth. He is sought after successful pediatric infectious disease MD at Wash U in St Louis. A 2x IM Kona Qualifier. And, simply put, he is a hell of a friend with a history of rising above anything or anyone who poses a challenge to success.

As I continued to walk further away from Newland, and closer to T2, athletes ran past me on my left side. My mind was so far out of this race. It wasn’t a race at this point. I welcomed each athlete to hit me on my left shoulder when they passed, and most did.

I really wished for someone to run me over like Bo Jackson did to Brian Bosworth during their first and only meeting in an NFL game. I wanted someone to put my lights out before I reached the T2 tent.

“Yep, look at that guy. The one who obviously went out too hard on his bike, or messed up his nutrition, or both. He is now mentally and physically broke. Rookie mistake! Enjoy walking that marathon! It’s gonna be a long day,” said my irrational state of mind as I caved in more to my First World Problem.

Once I reached the T2 tent I really didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to find my ‘alone’ space.

I found a chair. And I just sat there mentally numb and watched athletes come in, transition to their running shoes, and disappear towards the start of a 26.2 mile journey.

I realized, for the first time, most athletes in T2 suffer from temporary dementia. It’s the magic that involuntarily suppresses the gravity of running a marathon after a 2.4 mile swim and 112 mile bike.

I was dealing with a reality of a piss-poor attitude. It’s on the other side of the spectrum from magic.

There were several non-helpful comments from athletes experiencing dementia while I sat in T2 suffering from reality.

“Walk the marathon.”

“Stand up and put one foot in front of the other.”

“Take salt. It works.”

“I’m a really slow runner. Come with me. I know you can keep my pace.”

“The wind was brutal out there on the bike, dude. I know how you feel.”

This was like being in the middle of a twitter shit-storm and no way to exit the app. Newland’s comment on ‘regret’ was my platform to a Plan B.

The last thing Liz needed was to be in a worry state-of-mind if I quit. She was starting her exciting journey in Spain.

Newland took time away from his family, and work to be here. I would be a quintessential impression of an asshole by virtue of quitting.

“Excuses are like assholes. Everyone’s got one and they all smell like shit,” Todd Dicus has said many times. One of his many memorable quotes.

I thought about Brother D, Todd Dicus, and all the blood, sweat and swears we shared on our bike trainers this past winter. He was gritting through this same race, which was his 11th Ironman.

My family’s support is unconditional. It’s there no matter what, and I needed to find a way to apply the same unconditional thinking about the marathon.

Michelle Simmons applied insightful training strategies, and painful training sessions, the past several years. Consistency with these training sessions each day provided me a lot of growth as a triathlete, and as a person. So how would I answer the question when she asks why I quit? Would my answer feel justified? No, it wouldn’t.

And, finally The Minions!

“Uncle Casey, did you win your race?” One of them would ask it. Finishing is winning in their mind. Ironman distance triathlons teach adults this attitude if they don’t already believe it. I witnessed hundreds, maybe thousands of adults over the years cross the finish line with the expression of winning by finishing in less than 10 hours or near the race cutoff at 17 hours.

For so many teachable reasons my answer to their question couldn’t be, “You know what, it was just too hard and I quit.”

My sister, Aubrey Urban, sent a video of The Minions wishing me luck the night prior to Ironman Texas. I watched and listened to it over and over again in my head as a sat in T2.

youtube

This was it. This was the magic. The temporary dementia. The game-changer. HOPE.

T2 became my place to recover from the swim, bike and bonk, and not a place to hide. I began to prep for another race for the 2nd time in one day. I finally had a platform for a solid Plan B.

“Hey, is there a time limit on how long someone can stay in this tent?” I asked an official.

“Na, I don't think so. Never been asked that question. I guess stay as long as you want as long as you finish the marathon by midnight,” responded the official.

Volunteers handed me water that I previously denied. I slowly took in calories from food and gels, and electrolytes from salt. I stood up from my chair, walked back and forth, and sat down again.

I repeated this process until the cramping disappeared and my stomach relaxed enough to absorb nutrition.

It was time to let go. I placed my usual securities I wear and carry with me back in the T2 bag, like my Fuel Belt I wear around my waist with hydration and nutrition. My hat, arm coolers, and a cotton cloth I usually tie loosely around my neck to keep the sun off my skin, also went back in the T2 bag.

I slipped on my sunglasses and race belt with bib number 260, and exited the T2 tent towards the next timing mat where the marathon officially started.

The first person I saw was Dave Dicus, Brother D’s son. He assured me Brother D was crushing his race.

The next person I saw was Newland. He was standing near the timing mat at the run start. I could see by the way he relaxed his body language he was relieved, and curious.

“Go! What are you doing? Go! Come on, let’s go!!” yelled Newland. Now, to translate Newland talk. This means are you okay? You look okay? What the bleep were you doing? Looks like you didn’t quit. Nice job. But now it’s real. Go run!

Simmons and I discussed running off heart rate instead of watching my pace in this race. Previous Ironman distant races showed my heart rate slowing in the second half of the marathon, along with pace.

Many variables lead to lower heart rate like nutrition. But together we believe I focus too much on pace, and frustration sets in when I feel I can’t hold the pace I need from mile 14 through 26.2. It’s a mental block. The pace is there because we see it in training.

Heart rate was the one goal I still had left, and I set out to keep it close to 150 beats per minute on average through 26.2 miles.

Running a marathon after a 2.4 mile swim and 112 mile bike really makes no logical sense. But I truly love it. Because, this is the part of the race where all participants are stripped down to their core and everything is exposed like training, preparation, nutrition, attitude and extreme mental fortitude. There is no more faking it. The temporary dementia most athletes experience in T2 is truly temporary, magic disappears and reality takes its place.

So as I gained momentum from a walk to run I crossed the timing mat, and said to Newland, “I’m gonna give it my best shot. Let’s see what’s gonna happen.”

I started this run with a very simple frame of mind, “just run and enjoy the freedom of running.”

As Newland’s voice drifted off I formed a small tiny dot, a mental place, in the back of my head. It was my magic place. With my eyes down and in front of me I focused on that small tiny dot, and never left it for 25 miles.

The cramps constantly pinged my muscles, but every time they surfaced I literally said out loud to myself “<bleep> you.”

Four miles into the marathon and I was still running! I felt damn good except for the constant cramps poking at my hamstrings and quads. At every aid station I splashed myself with water and ice, drank Gatorade and Coke. And, at the end of each station I grabbed calories for the road. In between aid stations I constantly took in salt.

After each aid station it was back to the small tiny dot, and a lot of “<bleep> you’s” at the cramps until I reached the next aid station. Water, ice, Gatorade and Coke. Calories, salt, and the tiny dot. Run one mile and repeat.

At mile 24.5, before I made my 3rd and final turn leading out of a McMansion Woodlands’ neighborhood, and on a descend to the Woodlands River Walk, Newland stood waiting. He yelled, “Kershner, if you keep up this pace you will qualify for Boston!”

My stamina felt great. I increased my pace as I had the endurance to do it, but I really had to focus on using different muscles by shortening my stride with a shallow right leg recovery. My right hamstring locked twice several miles back which stopped me briefly in my tracks. The warning cramp in my right hamstring intensified, but my “<bleep> you’s” kept winning.

Only 1.5-miles to go! I ran by the drunk half-dressed crazies for the third and final time. Near the end of their cheering section a spectator walked and weaved across the sidewalk perfectly timing her meeting with me. As I made contact she was looking the opposite direction. I was shocked how easily she bounced off and into the crowd. The drunk crazies loved it and their cheering loudly increased, and faded into the past.

Only 1 mile to go, and I couldn’t move! It was awful, because I looked to my left and there was the finish on the other side of the River Walk. I was so close, but my right hamstring finally locked, and all I could do was stand strait up and try to keep from falling backwards to the ground.

I reached around with my right hand and jammed my fingers into the back of my right hamstring. It felt like a LaCrosse ball in the back of my leg. It took at least three minutes before the muscle released, and I began to walk with caution. I had to take a few steps and stop, and repeat until the process turned into a jog. At the next aid station I sucked down as many electrolytes as I could before my last push to the end.

My pace slowly picked back up without the debilitating cramp returning, which allowed a ton of enjoyment the last quarter of a mile on the run. I let the small tiny dot go, and began to really soak in the finish. Crossing that Ironman distant finish line was personally the most rewarding one compared to any others.

This was a day packed with many emotions from excitement to pain, to frustration and thought, to focus and busting through obstacles, to finally being overcome by joy.

Jimmy Valvano said it right in his speech at the 1993 ESPY’s, “Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day.”

A couple weeks post Ironman Texas one of The Minions named Pearl wanted to show me her bike riding skills prior to watching our animated movie. She rode up a neighborhood hill with impressive power and back down several times before coming to a stop. She looked up at me and asked, “Uncle Casey, did you win your race?”

I knew one of The Minions would ask it.

-The End.

Personal Notes on Race Analysis

1:15 - Swim. Lined up in the wrong spot? I couldn’t keep swimmers off my legs the majority of this swim. Tons of bumping, and grabbing for position. I remember at the half-way turn-around how tired I felt from fighting off bodies. I remember the turn into the canal and passing under the first bridge and thinking this swim should be done. I had the endurance from my swim training. I believe I just burned a lot of matches from fighting off bodies for 2.4 miles. I never found a rhythm.

4:29 - T1. Not great, but it was fine.

5:11 - Bike. Bonked at mile 90. Felt like it took 20-miles to shake the swim off my legs. Once we hit the freeway I could see my competition on the two loop course. I measured how many minutes I was behind by marking bridges they passed under. I estimated early in the race I was about 15 minutes behind most of the top guys. I let myself get out of my race and focused on others, which was my plan. I had nothing to lose after finishing 10 previous Ironman distant races, and coming as close to one spot away from Kona Qualifying. I figured if I bonked in this race at least I bonked trying. It was super humid first three hours. Winds shifted and cam from Northwest with 40 miles to go, gusting up to at least 30+ mph. The temps went from hot and humid to actually having a wind-chill on the bike. I nailed my nutrition better than any other race on my bike. Inside of quads seized at mile 90, and there was nothing I could do but stand. Triceps locked and then I had to sit. I rotated between standing and sitting from mile 90-112.

Lap 1: 30′, 150 avg hr, 206 avg np, 79 avg c, 22.5 avg mph

Lap 2: 30′, 153 avg hr, 215 avg np, 78 avg c, 23.2 avg mph

Lap 3: 30′, 153 avg hr, 212 avg np, 73 avg c, 23.0 avg mph

Lap 4: 30′, 151 avg hr, 211 avg np, 74 avg c, 22.5 avg mph

Lap 5: 30′, 151 avg hr, 211 avg np, 72 avg c, 21.8 mph

Lap 6: 30′, 150 avg hr, 207 avg np, 73 avg c, 22.8 mph

Lap 7: 30′, 149 avg hr, 204 avg np, 72 avg c, 23.2 mph

Lap 8: 30′, 147 avg hr, 196 avg np, 69 avg c, 20.2 mph (heading into bonk)

Lap 9: 30′, 146 avg hr, 179 avg np, 71 avg c, 17 mph (bonk)

Lap 10: 42′, 124 avg hr, 152, avg np, 70 avg c, 16.4 avg mph (quit)

21:56 - T2. This was not the plan.

3:18 - Run time. Topped best IM run time since my first one; a 3:23 in 2010 at Ironman Wisconsin. Finally shed that wait off my back.

Lap 1: 1:32, 142 avg hr, 7:18/mile pace. (I could have increased my hr closer to 150, but constantly ought off cramps t try and keep moving forward w/o my legs locking up).

Lap 2: 1:43, 139 avg hr, 7:50/mile pace (this includes miles 25 through 26.2 where I stood motionless for a while, recovered and pretty much jogged it into the finish).

10:11:32 my overall time. 33rd in ag. What’s crazy is I was 45′ from a KQ slot since it seems a lot of ringers showed up for this ‘North America Championship’. Honestly, my perfect race I would have been close to a 9:30, maybe a little faster, or maybe a little slower, but very close to a 9:30. Finishing, and overcoming, was a much better experience than having my perfect race and finishing several minutes away from a Kona Qualification. There’s a silver lining in everything. It’s all about perspective.

Why didn’t I have the race I planned? I conclude it comes down to little things adding up to a great day or a poor day. There were a lot of little things in my prep for this race that exposed my weakness on the bike.

The little things

I only rode outside a couple times leading up to IMT. Knocking it out on my trainer using power is almost always better than riding outside. No stop lights, no traffic, never stop peddling, uninterrupted sets, safer, etc. But, I needed a couple more solid rides outside simply to train other muscles like balancing muscles to fight wind.

I didn’t have much acclamation to humidity leading up to this race. I took the hot baths, saunas, but not enough of them. Through most of the morning on race-day it was 90 + % humidity, and very warm.

I didn’t get in one open-water swim. I’m not big on needing many open water swims. If you can swim, well, you can swim! But, there is a benefit to getting in the open water, similar to riding outside enough to get your muscles used to the elements again.

My mental focus wasn’t at a passionate level it needed to be leading up to IMT. I nailed my training sessions, but it was more because I felt like I ‘had to’ instead of a motivational attitude of wanting to improve. My passion was inconsistent heading into this race. It is not possible to compete at a Top-10 ag level level in these IM Distant races w/o being absorbed with passionate every morning when the alarm buzzes. It’s thinking about everything and how it affects tomorrow’s training. It’s not just about nailing training, it’s also putting a high level of importance on recovery, eating, sleeping, and doing every little thing to have that physical and mental edge on race day. At the end of the day I lacked that passion which was exposed at mile 90 on the bike during this race. Why was I able to nail the run? It’s simple. The training was there to do it. And I found the passion and focus to compliment my deep endurance for the marathon.

#Reds #Redstriteam #mamasimmons #bsc #triathlon #swim #bike #run #trisutto #brettsutton #bonk #nevergiveup #imtexas

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