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brelione · 4 years

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Wish I was Sarah PT 2 (Sarah X Reader X Kiara)

Part One

Kiara woke up to her phone buzzing,you asleep next to her with your phone still in hand.She groaned,checking her phone and squinting at the bright light.It was one in the morning and her parents were trying to find out where she was. “(Y/N),hey.Wake up,we gotta get home.”She whispered,shaking you slightly.You grumbled,smacking her hand away. “Nooooo.”You protested,trying to curl back into your ball of warmth.

“Yessss.Come on,your parents are gonna be looking for you.”She pulled you up,shivering slightly at the lack of blankets.You two didnt even bother to bring the plates back,slipping through the cracked rock and onto the soft sand,the cool air hitting you skin. “I’d really prefer not to be awake right now.”You laughed,guiding her back to the large house.People were still in the yard,older folks still talking and cleaning up all of the dishes.You felt heat rush to your face as you noticed Sarah Cameron,head in her hands as she stared down at her phone at the table,half asleep.

You and Kiara went inside,greeted by her mother. “Where’d you run off to?”She asked.Kiara gestured towards you,wanting you to explain. “Sorry,its loud and we wanted to watch a movie so we went down the beach.Sorry.”You answered softly,seeing your aunt on the couch.Mrs.Carrera wasnt mad though,in fact,she was ecstatic.Kiara hadnt made any girl friends since Sarah Cameron or even kook friends for that matter. “Dont worry about it,just tell us next time.”She smiled down at you.You played with your fingers,nodding before going over to speak to your aunt.Sarah turned to watch you,biting her bottom lip as she watched you leave.That was three months ago.

Kiara grinned as you showed her an oddly shaped rock that you found by the beach,asking her what it looked like to her. “It looks kind of like a bat but it could also be a cat if you look at it when its flipped over.”You flipped the rock,running your fingers along the rough bumpy surface.She nodded,looking through the sand for shells. “Hey,Kie?”You asked,putting the rock in your pocket.She hummed,still looking through the sand.

“What’s going on with Sarah Cameron?”You asked.Her breath hitched,frowning as she looked at you. “You dont want to be involved with her.She’s evil.Shes like a snake that lures you in and then suffocates you!She’s the worst person ive ever met and her brother is a crack head that beats the shit out of people for no reason.Trust me,you dont want anything to do with her.”Kiara huffed,looking you in the eyes.

You pouted slightly,becoming uneasy. “She seems nice.”You mumbled,making her shake her head. “No,shes not.She acts nice and then she’ll betray you like she does to everyone.She betrayed me!”Kiara exclaimed.

You nodded,biting the inside of your cheek. “Okay.”You mumbled.The rest of the day was a bit awkward after that conversation,Kiara concerned that you were falling for Sarah.She was trying to think of something to tell you that would make you hate Sarah,anything to keep you from chasing after her.She couldnt though.There was nothing that could stop you from liking Sarah.She just needed to get you to like her more.She had asked you not to be around Sarah or talk to her.You had told her that you wouldnt and she was stupid enough to believe you.Two weeks after you made that promise the worst thing imaginable happened.

Kiara hadnt hung out with the boys in a while and they were getting sick of her ditching for you.That lead to her agreeing to go to the beach and surf with them early one morning.It was windy and cool but the waves were fantastic.She carried her surfboard under her arm,walking to the water with John.B as Pope and JJ tossed down towels and their cooler of off brand soda and tuna sandwiches.Her head turned when she heard squeals and giggling,two voices shouting to one another.

She squinted,making sure that she was seeing things right.Sarah Cameron was wearing a red sweater,one that had faded from being washed and worn so many times.She held a tennis racket,fighting off birds that were trying to get to the mice that stayed in the tall grass.She wasnt the only one though.You stood with a tennis racket as well,wearing a bikini top and shorts as you shouted at the birds,trying to get them to leave the mice alone.

Kiara felt her heart drop,realising what was happening.You had told her that you wouldnt talk to Sarah at all and here you were giggling with her.She couldnt even blame you.Your oblivious self had no idea just how much Kiara liked you and how desperately she wanted you to like her back.Sarah had to know what she was doing.The blonde glanced her way,a small smirk on her face to let Kiara know that she was defeated,that you liked Sarah and Sarah had won.

The way you looked at Sarah with so much love and longing made Kiara’s heart hurt.It was the same way that she looked at you.Kiara bit her tongue,looking back out at the waves. “What just happened?”John.B asked,looking down the beach to where Kiara had been staring previously.He thought he understood when he saw Sarah,thinking it was her alone that had ruined his friend’s mood.Kiara hadnt told the group about you yet.She knew that they would beg her to meet you.

SHe had convinced herself that she was worried that they’d like you more than her but she knew better.She was worried that you’d like them more than you liked her just like Sarah.She wasnt ready for those words to collide.Kiara couldnt be mad at you which just made everything hurt more.She had liked Sarah a long time ago so she could understand you.She could relate to how you stared at her with such admiration and how you were following Sarah like a lost puppy.Tears began to blur her vision as she realized that Sarah would hurt you and ruin you.

She hated Sarah so much but right here and right now she wanted nothing more than to be Sarah.You liked Sarah better.Everyone had always liked Sarah more.Kiara had cried into her pillow that night,wishing that you were different,wishing that you hated Sarah.She had sat at her window like a little kid,praying to the first star that she saw that she would wake up tomorrow and be Sarah.When she woke up her pillow was damp from tears and her head hurt,skin splotchy and eyes puffy.Her phone was ringing,causing her to groan and answer without checking who it was.

“Hello?”She asked,tired. “Hey,Kie.Did you just wake up?”You asked.She grumbled something which you took as a yes. “Its like almost noon.Are you feeling okay?”You asked.She blinked a couple of times,sitting up in her bed. “Yeah,I was just tired from surfing yesterday.Whats up?”She asked,rubbing her head. “I was just wondering if you wanted to come to the cave and paint it with me.”You answered,waiting for her to reply. “Yeah,okay.Give me a little bit to get dressed.”She told you before hanging up.

She looked in the mirror,groaning at how sick she looked.She splashed some water on her face,putting on a baggy yellow t shirt and some white jeans.She tied her hair up in a bun,changing her jeans when she remembered she would be painting.

John.B had called her,requesting that she come to his house to watch Spongebob with him,Pope and JJ. “Cant,im busy.”She answered,trying to keep things vague.He huffed. “Busy with what?”He asked.She bit her lip,trying to think of an explanation. “Im hanging out with my friend.”She answered,hearing him let out a dramatic groan.

“You’re hanging out with that girl again?Cant she just come with you?”He asked.She smiled,sighing. “Nope.”She hung up.She couldnt introduce you tot he boys.When she had walked down the beach,a smile on her face,excited to see you she frowned,seeing you speaking to Sarah Cameron.

Sarah wore just a sports bra and sweatpants,her hair in a ponytail which let Kie know that she was out on a run.She noticed the way you were biting your lip,eyes not meeting Sarah’s.You were nervous,flustered.Sarah gave you a quick hug before jogging away,not seeing Kiara. “Hey,Kie!”You smiled,jogging up to meet her half way,pouting a bit when you saw how mad she looked. “What’s wrong?”You asked,not understanding.

She rolled her eyes,crossing her arms. “What’s going on with you and Sarah Cameron?”She asked,making your heart drop. “What?”You asked,smile gone.She sighed,looking down at the sand. “You like Sarah,I know that you do.But you cant trust her,okay?”She asked,trying not to cry or sniffle.You licked your lips,looking down the beach.

“I dont think I understand.”You pulled at the sleeves of your shirt,feeling vulnerable. “Sarah is a really bad person.She pretends to be all sweet and defending mice and turtles but she is disgusting and shes like a rock fish.She lures you in and doesnt look scary and seems all innocent and then you get close to her and she poisons you!She ruined my life and hurt me and she hurts everyone!She’ll hurt you too if you stick around,alright?”Kiara asked.

“You’ve said that before...but I just...I dont know.There’s something about her.”You mumbled.Kiara wanted to cry,to run,to drown herself in the ocean that was so close. “There’s other girls out there,(Y/N).Theres ones that wont betray you and act like you dont exist.I just dont want to see you get hurt in a toxic relationship,alright?”She asked,his heart thumping.You nodded,giving her a small smile. “Lets go paint then.”You smiled,grabbing her hand and running over to the crack in the rock wall,sliding through.

Kie slid through behind you,giggling as she looked for a place on the rocks to paint.You found a flat area,picking up a palette and squirting out little mountains of red,yellow,blue,balck and white along with a few brushes.Kiara went on the more abstract approach,pouring colors onto her hands,rubbing them together and pressing them against the rocks and smearing them,trying to make something like butterfly wings.

She felt your brush glide against her arm,making a wet streak.She looked over at you,a confused smile. “What are you doing?”She asked,looking down at her arm. “I need it to be the same color as your skin.”you answered simply,making a large circle with the toffee like color.She watched you,not really caring about what she was supposed to be painting,focused on the way your brush was moving as you made a darker little wave in the middle of the circle,watching as it formed into a nose.

Kiara tried not to stare for too long,making a rainbow flower from her handprints.You used a different brush to make dark chocolate waves of hair,trying to fix the hairline of the painting,getting the paint onto the sides of the circle to make it more like Kiara’s face. “You’re painting me?”She asked,knowing the answer was obvious.

You smiled,nodding and making two dark lines closer to the hairline,making them into little curves for eyebrows.It took a good two hours for you to finish the portrait,Kiara had put on her playlist for the two of you to listen to.Once you were satisfied with the portrait you stepped aside,letting the model see it. “Oh wow….that literally looks like a picture.”She smiled,taking a photo of the painting.You simply shrugged,a small grin on your face. “I kind of just memorised your face I guess.”You answered,feeling heat in your face and neck.

She was hesitant to kiss your cheek lightly,smiling as she looked away from you.Her phone dinged,ruining her good mood because she knew exactly what it meant. “Shit,I have to go home but i’ll see you tomorrow?”She asked,turning off the music and slipping her phone into her pocket. “I’ll walk you home.”You said quickly.She didnt argue,glad that you were willing to do that.

You held onto her hand as the two of you walked,getting some rainbow paint on your hand. “You have school tomorrow?”You asked sadly.She nodded,knowing that you didnt know much about that,being homeschooled and all. “You’ll come see me after school though?”You asked. “Of course.”She answered,coming up her driveway. “So...tomorrow?”She asked,your hand still holding hers.She wasnt prepared when you leaned forward quick,kissing her.

Her eyes went wide for a second before calming,her hand lifting to cup your chin,getting purple paint onto your skin.She smiled into the kiss,feeling so many things at once.It ws the feeling you get when you’re at the top of a rollercoaster,excited and nervous to go down,laughing as it all happened.It was the feeling you get when you hear your favorite song that you had listened too when you were young.

The stong that you used to scream the lyrics too on car rids and listen to it on repeat,the one that you could remember even years later and the excitement that would course through you when you heard it.It was the feeling you get when you get a huge thing of cotton candy at the fair,the sweetness of it melting in your mouth as the sun goes down,the heat on your skin.

You pulled away,your forehead still against hers. “Yeah,i’ll see you tomorrow.”You grinned,turning around and walking away,leaving her speechless.She let out a loud sigh,licking her lips and smiling so hard it hurt before she made her way up her driveway.When she walked into her house her mother was making dinner,her dad on the couch.She went right up the stairs and into her room,falling onto her bed with her face in her pillow as she squealed,staring up at her ceiling,blushing.

Her father came upstairs,asking her who she had hung out with that day. “(Y/N).”She answered,sitting up and trying not to smile again. “Is that the girl that we like?”he asked,referring to himself and Kiara’s mother.Kie nodded,sighing softly. “Okay,dinners ready.”He answered,going back downstairs.

@poguestyleskye @jjtheangel @dannii-li @lovelyelinor @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off

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#kiara carrera #kiara x reader #obx kiara #kiara carrera x you #kiara carrera imagine #kiara carrera headcanon #kiara carrera gifs #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron imagine #sarah cameron x you #obx sarah #sarah cameron #outer banks #obx #outerbanks fanfic

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wolferals · 4 years

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🌸EX'S AND OH'S🌸

arón piper preference

Today was your and your boyfriends anniversary! 1 year you've spent with this doofus and he had promised to take you out tonight. Your dates usually consisted of snacks, movies or sometimes dinner at a restaurant. But rarely.

You had just gotten ready and he was about to pick you up.

The beautiful red dress fit you perfectly and your long hair was flowing down your back in some soft curls. Your makeup matched the dress and you had to give yourself some credit. You looked absolutely stunning that night.

About 5 minutes later your boyfriend picked you up.

„Hey y/n." he greeted you without really looking at your appearance. You didn't think anything of it though since he barely does. Yes of course it was shit to have a boyfriend that didnt pay much attention to you but you had gotten used to it over the past months.

„Hey." you smiled and walked over to him to give him a kiss but he just pecked your lips for a second before speaking:"We're running late."

So you walked to his car and he started the engine afterwards. „Do you like my dress? I bought it for tonight." you said smiling at him.

He gave you a quick glance while driving and replied dry:"Yeah looks good."

You could feel the tears building up so you turned away from him and blinked them away, looking out the window.

„Oh by the way, I invited Emma and Arón, u dont mind right?"

Your head shot around. „What?"

Your boyfriend looked at you and said:"I figured it'd be more fun."

You were genuinely shocked. „But its our anniversary." you spoke quietly.

He shrugged his shoulders.

That was his way of telling you that he doesnt really care.

Ouch.

At the restaurant you both sat down at a table for four and you kept swallowing your pride while all you wanted to do was run out of there and cry.

„Man where are they?" your boyfriend suddenly said to you. You had only been there for 2 minutes and he was getting impatient.

„Calm down, they will be here soon." you answered and forced a smile while taking his hand in yours.

But he pulled away instantly.

„Not now. Im stressed."

You couldnt believe him. It was your 1 year anniversary and he just ignored you or treated you like shit.

„Please?" you whispered and looked at his side.

He didnt face you, he just replied:"Stop being clingy y/n."

It hurt. So fucking much.

Sometimes you really doubted if he still loved you, and right now it was proven he had stopped.

But before you could really think about it or actually start to cry, you noticed Emma and Arón walk up to the both of you.

„Hey guys!" Emma smiled and gave you a hug.

„Oh wow your dress is so beautiful!" she complimented you and then went on to greet your boyfriend.

Arón came closer, stared you up and down and then gave you a tight hug. „You look really beautiful y/n."

You smiled at him. And you meant your smile this time.

„Its so nice to see you!" Emma exclaimed and sat down opposite of you.

Your boyfriend kept looking at Emma. While she was telling the story about her last nights dream, your „beloved" boyfriend was biting his lip and you could feel him shifting in his seat.

„Wow Emma, thats so cool!" he suddenly spoke and sent her a bright smile. She had just told how she got her ear pierced last week.

Aron seemed to find it off as well because he gave you a confused look.

„You never said anything about my piercings." you spoke and looked at him.

His head turned to look at you and he replied:"Yeah but look at hers. Its fucking cool."

-„I have the exact same piercing on my left ear."

He shrugged his shoulders.

„Guys cálmese. Its fine." Emma laughed and intertwined her and Arón's fingers on the table.

You guys then ordered your food and drinks. „Can we share the calamari baby?" Emma asked Arón.

He looked at her in disgust and replied:"I hate them you know that."

But thank god your wonderful partner was there to speak up:"Ill share them with you if you want."

You rolled your eyes at him. But the only person who noticed was Arón and he sent you a sad smile.

„Yeah sure if thats okay with y/n." Emma explained.

Before you could say anything your boyfriend said:"Its my choice though, its none of her business."

You looked to your left to pretend like he wasnt there. To pretend like he didnt just say that.

Suddenly you noticed your phone's screen light up from your lap. The other didnt seem to have noticed.

You took your phone and read the message.

„Are you okay?" -Arón.

You looked up and nodded at him.

But he didnt seem to buy it.

„If you want to talk im here."

You smiled at him and tried to focus on your dinner and the fact that your best friend was here and that her boyfriend was being nice to you. Instead of your own.

The one who kept complimenting Emma and didnt care about you at all. You werent there for him.

When the waitress brought your dinner you actually forgot about his terrible behavior for once. You started eating your delicious pasta and listened to the others talking.

At some point it was mostly Emma and your boyfriend having a nice conversation while Arón and you just sat there feeling super left out.

You could see how annoyed he was from his looks only.

He kept giving you these glances as you continued eating your pasta, sometimes he raised his eyebrow making you laugh slightly.

The others didnt notice how you two were communicating with your eyes.

You took a sip of your water and saw how Arón was grinning at you. You smiled back and then took your phone to distract yourself from his looks.

If you were completely honest, you hadnt gotten any affection in a while and just a cute guy looking at you made you feel better. Yes, he was taken. Yes, so were you. But he was attractive it was obvious.

Emma laughed at almost every of your boyfriend‘s jokes and you knew she didnt do this because he was funny, because he really wasnt.

Arón rolled his eyes at her and then gave you one more look.

And if you werent totally insane, picturing things, he scanned your upper body and bit his lip slightly.

You just ignored it but if you were being honest, it was kind of hot.

You then listened to Emma talk and subconsciously took another bite of your pasta and kept the spoon in your mouth. Without realizing you were licking on the spoon in your mouth and focused on her story.

You then did realize what was going on when a foot touched your own softly.

It had to be Arón. He was also giving you this horny ass look again.

Yes, he did kind of turn you on but you were both in a relationship. But your boyfriend was an asshole who didnt care about you anymore.

So you decided to play Aróns little game. You slipped out of your heel and slowly made your way up his leg. You didnt plan on going too far but you wanted to play with him a little bit.

He grinned at you and supported his head with his hand on the table while looking around.

He then coughed when your toes hit his knee.

Apparently this boy was sensitive.

You smiled to yourself and lowered your foot again.

Arón took a deep breath and grinned at you.

„Whats so funny?“ Emma suddenly spoke and looked between the both of you.

„Uhm.“ you started but Arón interrupted you.

„This guy over there embarrassed himself a little bit.“

They both looked around and then nodded.

„Anyway about this girl..“ Emma continued and your boyfriend only focused on her again.

Arón then excused himself to go outside to smoke and you decided to breathe some fresh air so you both walked outside.

„Jesus.“ he cursed and sat down on the stairs in front of the restaurant.

„Yeah right. They‘re so focused on themselves.“ you shook your head and sat down next to him.

He lit his cigarette and let the smoke emit into the air.

„I know... But now we can talk alone you know?“ he laughed and gave you a quick look.

„You want?“ he suddenly spoke and wanted to hand you his cigarette but you only shook your head.

„You know, thats good. I wish i could get away from it.“ he looked down to the ground and then back at you.

„Maybe you really have to start.“

He nodded and took a puff.

„Yeah i know.“

You smiled at him, then took the cigarette from his fingers and threw it to the ground to put it out.

„Hey!“ he laughed and stared down at the smushed piece of cigarette.

„You said you wanted to stop. You‘re gonna stop right now.“ you cockily said and ran your fingers through your hair.

Arón looked you deep in the eyes and then replied:“Alright, thank you. I dont know how I’d survive without you.“

You both started laughing.

„You‘re very welcome.“ you slightly bit your lip and looked up into the warm starry night.

„Maybe its good they‘re getting along so well. That way we can be alone.“

You didnt know what to say.

But you agreed internally.

„Yeah.“

He smiled and then placed his hand on your thigh.

It was covered by your dress so you didnt mind at all.

„Y/n, ever thought about how nice it is to fuck under the stars?“

You bursted into laughter and he smiled as well.

„No i havent.“

Arón grinned and eventually spoke up:“Too bad, id show you if your asshole boyfriend wasnt checking out my girlfriend all the time. But since she apparently feels the same, why dont we get out of here?“

You couldnt really reply to that.

„You know, maybe one day when all this shit is over.“

He nodded.

„One day hm? Promise?“ arón smiled softly.

You nodded at him and spoke:“Yeah one day.“

🌹🖤

part 2

#elite #aronpiper #cute #preference #omander #aronxreader #ander #preferences #smut

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silverandarsenic-hcs · 4 years

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Ghost BC + Breakups HCs

so if you know this or not i also post all the hcs i write onto a thing on wattpad and i got a lovely message on there with a few requests and this is the first one!

What would the Papas, Cardi C and the Ghouls do or how would they go on if they and s/o would break up bc it doesnt work ?

i am sad. these are going to be sad. and then you will be sad too.

Papa I: he’s just plain old sad. he doesn’t sugar coat it, he doesn’t shut himself off. he heals the most healthily out of the entire group. without you in his life, something is missing, but that doesn’t mean he cant go on without it. and he will. he’ll get his work done, get back to any hobbies he forgot about when all of his spare time was taken up with you, he’ll hang out with friends. he’s not afraid to let people know when he’s upset and when he needs to be alone, and hopes they understand. but he’ll call. he’ll text. he’ll invite you to lunch. he doesn’t understand why you two cant just be friends, even after everything. you say that you cant be friends because of everything, and it cuts just a little deeper than the breakup itself. hes losing you. really losing you, forever.

Papa II: he doesn’t let himself get invested quickly. he doesn't have crushes, or eyes for everyone, and doesn’t have time for the trivial. when he says something, he means it. when he says he loves you, he meant it. and when you told him things were over, you meant it. and he knows that. he’s angry for a long time. that he loved you so much, and showed you a softer side of him no one else got to see, and that you could leave him when he thought things were fine. he doesn't call, and tells himself and everyone else that he wouldn't answer if you did. he would. once the heat of anger dies down and the embers cool, hes just empty in a way he wasn't before. there is a space in his heart that should be taken up by you and your smile, but you're not there, so it’s vacant.

Papa III: here is your gutted and forlorn papa III im sure you have all thought about. there's a bouquet of flowers in the trash can. he sits on the window sill and stairs outside to the spot in the garden he picked them from, just for you. it stays dark in his house, without your light. he stays in the shower for two long. stays in bed for too long. he just.... lingers. everything he does reminds him of you. the cold side of the bed. cooking dinner just for one, now. the silence in his house without your loud music or tv shows or laughter. he wants to call you, but only tries when he’s so drunk he cant breathe anymore. he knows you wont answer, but at least he tries, and at least he gets to hear your voicemail.

Cardinal Copia: if it wasn’t extremely serious between you two, he’ll act like nothing is wrong and that he knew it was never gonna work, even if he’s upset about it. he doesn’t want people thinking he got in over his head like they say he does. but if you two talked about getting married, being together forever, soulmates type love, he will spare no expense at trying to forget you. he’ll do whatever it takes, things that aren’t like him, things he doesn’t want to do, hes willing to try anything. he’ll drink, and gamble, and sleep around if he has to. but when he’s not trying to forget you, he’s afraid one day all his efforts might work, and that he really will lose the last of you he has left.

Aether: Aether’s Soul Has Left The Chat. he gets the worst out of all of them. III shuts himself out, Copia acts out of character, and II gets angry, but they have nothing on Aether. He won’t leave his house for anything, under any circumstances. he has the person who delivers his food and alcohol meet him in the living room. he’ll drink himself stupid and drink to keep the hangover off. low energy, he’ll piss in bottles in the room so he doesn't have to get up and go to the bathroom. high energy, he will take a bat and smash every single thing in his house and everything you left behind. he doesn't care if he shouldn’t be doing it. he doesn't care if people are worried. he doesn't care if his friends need him - at least for the moment, hes so sick of being the kind dad friend. he’s sick of letting everyone unload their problems on him, and just taking it, and sick of constantly being nice and open and letting himself get hurt. losing you, that was the last straw.

Swiss: gets drunk about it with the lads the next night. that’s about it. he doesn’t really like to be sad, so he just doesn’t do it. you can say hes bottling it up and repressing, you can say he never cared, but he’s just really good at accepting things like this and moving on. the only change is that he spends a little more time alone. most likely to go on vacation to Cuba alone to find himself and relax on a white sandy beach near the ocean. and who does he meet in Cuba? the New love of his life whos way better than the last one. he’ll bring home some girl to live with him and bring her to every party, to make you jealous if thats what you say, but he really has already moved on. his infatuation with new toys knows no bounds.

Mountain: a lot of alone time. if he cant be with you he doesnt want to be with anyone. but he takes care of himself. eats, does his work, goes outside, he’ll go walk through the forest with his hands in his pockets untl he realizes hes lost, and has to find his way home. most likely to take a vacation, just to get away and find himself and be alone for a while. he gets over it relatively quickly, mostly because hes the one actually taking care of his health while he’s going through everything

Rain: He just wants to be with his friends and take his mind off things. he’ll talk about his feelings if he’s in the mood, but he would much rather get cozy with his friends and watch a few movies or play a board game. even if he’s talking about it, and not actively being crazy, he still bottles up a lot of it. he doesn’t want to burden his friends or have them thinking he’s weaker than they already do, so he keeps a lot more in than he lets out. but after a while, he’ll let it out, but only to himself. he’ll do the healing and the soul searching to make sure he really is okay again before telling people he is, and especially okay before he ever looks at another person in that way again.

Dew: he doesn’t care?? haha! he never cared! he will stop at absolutely nothing to make you feel like shit for ever thinking he loved you or that he was capable of such a thing. hes the one you tell your friends is crazy in the group text. he tells himself he hates you and that he never cared and that he isn't hurt so much so often that he starts to believe it. he starts to accept his own lies as the truth - but that's what he does with everything. he pretends it doesn't exist or matter until it doesn’t anymore. one day that man is going to explode and who will be there to pick up the pieces? probably aether if he gets it together any time soon.

- Kat

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kikis-writing-world · 3 years

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hii congratulations on hitting your milestone! can i have an oscar character for the ships, please? i’m an entp 7w6 and i really like the enemies to lovers trope a lot but you can do whichever you think fits me the best! im a chinese girl, 5’2, and im kind of like shaped like a real proportional human person but squashed a little? like someone took my image, put it on a google doc and like the words were too much so they just made the picture shorter and now the pictures like not proportionate 😂 but like i tend to be really friendly, i think im a cheerful person and i try to be nice to people i meet. people have told me their first impressions of me are either that im quiet and academic or extraverted and sexual. i think i tend to be colder and introspective more naturally though and i kind of isolate myself sometimes. when i start talking though, its hard to get me to stop. especially if its about like sci fi or crime or philosophy or like psychology. some of my worse qualities are that i dont think im very hard working. i think i try to do the bare minimum most days and that gets me in trouble. i try harder socially more than i do, academically. this past year, ive been trying really hard to understand people and be more openminded because that doesnt come very easily to me. thats another thing- although im getting better, i have a hard time dealing with other people’s emotions and even my own. i kinda take a while to open up to people and mask insecurities by like... oversharing? like i pretend to be confident by sharing too much about myself, particularly sexually. i also tend to get into arguments without realizing im arguing with someone until im too deep into the discussion already 😂 i like arguing over petty ass shit when its fun and ironic (and when the other persons being chill too 🥰) but im always afraid i offend people because i also do that on accident sometimes. with a romantic partner, im very affectionate and i like to give a lot of praises and 👀 can i include the fact that i think im service sub? i just want to spoil my partner with love and do whatever they ask of me (within reason). i really like older music, just cause. i dont try to find obscure music but i get happy if someone shows me a song most people dont know because it feels like a ✨lil sekret✨ hobbies i like include singing and playing guitar and i love writing too. i also, since im in my own mind a lot of the time, i developed a lot of darker fantasies (cnc) and like i kind of hope my partner will be openminded enough to try it out but also kind and thoughtful enough to be cautious as we try it. i also really like sucking dicci so do with that what you want 😂 thank you so much and congrats again!

Thank you so much! I know you sent a second msg saying sorry for the long ask, but really it just gave me more to work with to pair you... and I pair you with Blue Jones. In the brothel version of the movie, I can imagine you working there. You say you’re open sexually and consider yourself subby, but don’t get emotions. I can see you being perfect to work there - and if you ever get a client that was looking to cuddle and talk, you’re just like “are you for real?” lol - You’d work for Blue, but you’d be his favorite girl. Slowly he’d start pulling you from other clients to spend time with him. It doesn’t take much to realize he wants to keep you for himself, so you adjust to that and start “serving” him, in more ways than one! He’d definitely be responsive to your darker side, too.

This movie is already like 3 AUs in one so where do I go with this? lol Let’s take it to a Crime Family/Mafia AU. You’re in the family. I would think your father was the Don when you were younger and maybe now your brother has stepped up for the job. You don’t really deal with the crime, don’t get your hands dirty. You’re just the family and you’re taken care of.

Blue works for your family. He’s some kind of underboss that runs the streets and does the dirty work. He’s high enough on the ladder that he comes by the family house often enough, is invited to the big dinners etc. The two of you tease each other a lot, but you kinda tease all the boys a lot. You can’t deny that he’s your favorite, but you know how complicated that would be.

I can see the two of you sleeping together, maybe it was after a drink or two (still sober, but just less inhibitions) and that’s what breaks the dam. Now you two are in it, and you can’t stop. You try to, but you both keep going back for more. I think one time, to avoid suspicion, he probably shows up with a woman to some event and it just makes you see red. You’re slapping and punching him when he explains she’s no one and it’s a cover. He finally gets you to calm down.

When the family finds out, oh fuck. You seriously think they’re gonna shoot him! You stand in front of him, begging your brother not to kill him. Blue wouldn’t be worried about himself, only you. He’d tell you to get out of the way so you don’t get hurt, and let whatever happen, but you refuse. With some pleading and crying, and you adamantly threatening your brother that you’ll kill him if he shoots Blue, they decide to let him live - after a bit of strong discussions that he’s with you because he wants to be and not to try to gain more status in the family. He gets a very stern warning though that if he ever mistreats you, they’ll make him dig his own grave.

Post with the rules and possible tropes here. Join in the fun!

#66followers #66followers celebration #Anonymous #300 Followers Celebration

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sarasfm · 4 years

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Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs

Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ? I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro

full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies

dormitory room: 105

birthday: 20 march 1995

soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza

favorite dish: efo riro

aesthetic: when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands

Bio Points

her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit

she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa

she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !

Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’

loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted ! was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states

her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”

she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see !

Other Information

Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)

Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)

Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck

Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye

Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build

Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101

Personality

the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy.

she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu

easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready

rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart

she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming

is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand

she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer

just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich

Fun Facts

has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese

has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man

is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday

likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit

is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff

doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit

if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y

she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul

isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there

don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place

Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know

kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything

Possible Connections

crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok

flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her

enemies/angst !!! — or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that. so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!

fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !

friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right

mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”

anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu

( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )

#gallagher:intro

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

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when i said it i thought it was true [1] {Ben Hardy}

Anon asked: could you do an imagine where ben is the reader’s ex and they are somehow working together on the set of bo rhap and they fall in love all over again ☺️ could you make it angst-y and then end with fluff? i love your writing so much!!

Anon asked: could you do an imagine where the reader is in bo rhap, maybe playing as one of roger’s gfs or something and she kind of falls in love with ben while filming the scenes with him as roger 💖 very fluffy pls :D

A/N: 3124 words. Super AU version of BoRhap being filmed in the fic. There’s gonna be another part, that will fill the prompts better. This might end up being a series. I hope you enjoy. Feedback would be nice.

When your manager rings you, telling you that you’d landed a part in the Queen Biopic Bohemian Rhapsody, you were elated. Freddie Mercury was a bit of a personal hero of yours, and to be a part of his story on the big screen, it was sort of a dream come true.

In your first meeting, you sign a nondisclosure agreement, and you’re given the latest draft of the script to start learning, as well as a character brief. The script calls your character ‘Amanda’, the girlfriend of Roger Taylor who he eventually realises he wants to settle down with. You’d seen pictures of young Roger Taylor, you wouldn’t lie, you were excited for the role. Honestly, even today he was still quite a fox.

The point is, you were excited to have a fun time on set with a pretty blonde, make some new connections, and earn some good money. Some really good money.

The other shoe drops when you’re flicking through Instagram, and one of the stan accounts you follow has posted a leaked screenshot of the proposed cast list, and there’s your name, right beside the name of the last person you wanted to pretend to be in love with. Ben Hardy; pretty blonde extraordinaire, and your ex-boyfriend.

The table read is... awkward.

The two of you are sat next to each other, and barely spoke two words to each other. You feel unprofessional the whole time, but you’d rather be anywhere else in the world, and the delivery of some of your lines falls a little flat. The director casts a concerned look between yourself and Ben as you rattle of what’s meant to be banter like you’re reading the news paper.

“They’ve got no damn chemistry; it’s like watching a celebrity divorce hearing.” When the Director vents to one of the producers in the hall outside after the reading, you manage to catch it where you’re just about to come out of the bathroom.

“They’ll be better on set, I promise, it’s just jitters.” She tries to soothe his nerves, and they’re off soon after, and you’re left with a cold, sinking sensation in your stomach.

“You’re Y/N, aren’t you? How are you finding the set?” The guy who greets you on your first day on the Eastenders set smiles with such casual ease it feels like you’ve known him for a while, instead of having just met him.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You agree with a quick nod, rocking back on your heels as you gaze around the space, trying not to look at him for too long. “It’s a bit overwhelming.” Actually, what’s overwhelming is that he’s talking to you. He’s Ben fucking Hardy, pretty-boy on the soap-opera scene, and he’s talking to you on your first day.

“Yeah, you’ll be right though; if you need any help or anything, just give us a yell, yeah?” And you realise he probably doesn’t know who you’re playing, or how you’re involved in that Season’s arc, but you certainly did.

“I didn’t know you could play drums.” You’re trying to be casual when you say it, but you see Ben tense where he’s sitting on a sofa in the rehearsal room, script and pencil in hand.

“I can now, that’s all that really matters.” He’s giving off such strong ‘please leave me alone’ vibes that it almost hurts, and you have to push through the knot in your stomach and sit down next to him.

“Ben, we need to at least be civil.” You say quietly, and he looks at you, expression a little forlorn.

“Y/N, we are civil, and we’ve done this before. Let’s just keep it professional, okay?” His tone leaves little room for argument, and you nod in agreement with a small smile, and pull out your phone, waiting for the rehearsal director.

“Hey there, baby, I don’t think I’ve seen you around here; I know I’d recognise your face.” You purr, running your hand delicately over the collar of Ben’s shirt, as his eyes widened and he spluttered to form a sentence, just as the script had told him to.

Your character was more a plot device than anything, when Ben’s character is at a low point, his main romance is on a break, and he meets you, a temptress in all black. Your job is to give his character a realisation, he starts as your cocaine dealer when his supplier can’t make the drop, and he falls for you. Depending on the audience reaction, you knew the producers were waiting to see if they kill you off or have you recover from your addiction. The point is, your fate’s uncertain at the end of the Season, and Ben’s character realises he has to get out of the drug trade.

“I’ve got something for you, from Oskar. Can we go somewhere more private?” When he speaks, it’s with surprising confidence, and he steps up from the bar stool and into your space, smiling as your face lights up. The director calls cut after a moment, and you step back, smile sliding to something genuine as an assistant comes in and straightens your loose, black silk shirt, and they reset the shot for a new take.

“Ben, could you try less flustered? You’re here to deliver drugs, you’re not a schoolboy.” The director’s voice was kind as she came up to the two of you, and Ben agreed easily before she turned to you. “Great job, Y/N, don’t be afraid to be more even more forward, if you feel it.” As soon as you nod in understanding, she absconds, and you half laugh.

“If I was any more forward I’d be in your lap.” You snickered, voice quiet as you dipped your head to hide how you were faintly flustered. Ben was quiet, just watching you for a moment, but before you noticed, the director called for everyone to standby.

“I’m after Maggie, do you know where I could find her?” Ben starts as soon as the cameras start rolling, brow furrowed as he leans across the bar to speak to the bartender, and that’s your cue to enter the scene.

“Hey there, baby, I don’t think I’ve seen you around here; I know I’d recognise your face.” And when you say it this time, he smirks back at you, a little cocky, and you can feel the way it makes your heart flutter and you know it’s not as fake as it should be.

Before filming even starts, the producers have essentially forced you and Ben into bonding sessions which, if this were several years ago, would have just been dates. Now they’re awkward and tense, and you tend to bring heavily highlighted scripts.

“I saw you in that Wes Anderson movie last year. It was a really good performance, one of your best.” He offers over coffee. The idea that he’d kept up with enough of your work to label one ‘your best’ has you a little shocked, and something in your heart warms as you thank him softly.

It’s gotten easier to hang around with him, and it’s even easier to pretend to be in love with him in rehearsals. It’s like riding a bike, how easy it is to let yourself smile and lean into him, to let the banter flow easily between the two of you, fond jabs that edge on insulting coming as easily as breathing.

Joe mentions that he thought the two of you worked together before, and when you reply that you’d dated for almost a year, he goes very quiet, eyes going wide. After a beat, he admits it explains a lot.

“X-Men did you real dirty.” You’re half paying attention to an interview with Roger Taylor that the two of you had been instructed to watch together. You’re both in his trailer, sitting on opposite ends of the sofa as you watch in almost complete silence.

“What?” He asks, after a beat, your words having taken a moment to process.

“Killing you off like that; they could have gotten so much mileage out of your character.” The way you say it is far too well thought out to be an idle thought. Ben smirked.

“You just liked the leather pants.” He muttered, but you’re silence is answer enough. You know he sees your embarrassed smile, but you can’t bring yourself to deny it.

“Hey, do you wanna grab a drink after and go through notes and blocking and stuff?” You’re shooting your third episode, and you’re far more comfortable on set by now. Agreeing easily, you let Ben drive the two of you to what he claims is the best pub in town, and you sit in one of the more secluded booths to talk.

It turns out he’s just as much a fan of you as you are of him; you’re known more for your bit-parts in long-running series, it seems like the only show you hadn’t been a part of so far had been Eastenders, it was only a matter of time. It’s an innocent night, true to his word, all you do is talk, and discuss the script. There is one part of the upcoming script that has you a bit nervous.

“Listen, honestly just go for it; it’s not meant to be sweet or anything, I’m literally taking coke from you.” You tell him, fidgeting, and he’s hums thoughtfully.

“You sure? We can talk to the director, I’m sure-” He offers, but you laugh to hide your nervousness.

“Nah, let’s knock it out of the park, the script says go for it so just go for it.” You assured him, heart rate already quickening at the mere thought of it.

The next day, before the scene, the director comes over to talk you through it, making sure that if anything becomes uncomfortable, that you can talk to her. Both you and Ben assure her that it’s fine.

“You’re far too cute for this line of work.” You say as you hold a baggie of “cocaine” up to the light, smile playing on your lips.

“Cute? Ouch, you really know how to wound a man, you know.” He says, leaning back against the sofa in the hallway of the grubby hotel your character was staying in. He’s watching you with interest, small smile playing on his lips.

“Cute’s not a bad thing, baby, but you look like you should be making coffees or playing football in the sun, not here, not with me.” And you tap out a little of the powder onto your hand, pretending to snort it before you turn to him, his expression dark and hungry, and he kisses you, aggressive, almost desperate, and you lean into it, almost forget you’re playing a role with his hand on the back of your neck. When he lets go, when he pulls away, your eyes are still closed and you chase his lips for a moment. Eyes flickering open, you see him smirking down at you where he’s standing, and you both know it wasn’t entirely acting.

“You don’t know anything about me.” He growls, and you know you have to smile like you’re into it, like it’s a challenge, but instead, you duck your gaze, giving a small laugh and wiping at the nostril you’d just “snorted cocaine” through, before looking up at him through your eyelashes.

They call cut, and the director announces, almost a little awed, that she’s pretty sure they got the the take, actually says she’s not sure if she could getting a better take if they tried again. Ben seems far too pleased with himself.

“They want us to tell the public we’re together.” You’re resting your head on Ben’s chest laying at the back of the tour-bus set, and his hand is resting on your waist, which is bare for the crop top and booty shorts they’ve put you in.

“Yeah, I heard.” He replies, voice equally quiet. “I think we’ve got a meeting about it tomorrow morning.” Gwil and Rami are actually playing scrabble at the front of the bus, and Joe is talking to Singer, the director.

“It’s a bad idea.” You’re so frank that you feel Ben freeze, and you heave a sigh. “It’s good for the movie, but Ben...” You trail off, and you feel it when he forces himself to relax. “It wouldn’t be real, it would just be weird.”

“Y/N, we’re actors.” He says very pointedly, and when you turn, resting your chin on his chest, he looks tired, a little exasperated. “It’s just a business deal.” He assured, and you let out a low, thoughtful grumble.

“We’ll discuss it tomorrow.” You allow, and he nods once, shifting to a more comfortable position, and you go back to resting your head on his chest, eyes fluttering closed as Singer called for the shot to be reset and a bunch of people came and straightened your clothes, and touched up your makeup, all without you having to move much.

You agree to the terms set forth in the meeting easily, the story being that your relationship rekindled on set, and that you were now madly in love, mirroring the relationship you were portraying on screen.

“Wait, does that mean-?” Ben leans forward in his chair, with his heart in his throat as he followed their logic, thinking through the plot of the movie. “Like engaged?” He asked.

“Seems a bit fast.” You agreed, voice level enough that someone might mistake you for calm rather than internally freaking out, and your managers shared a look.

“There will be a public proposal during or after the world premiere, that’s up to you both, and after the movie is out on DVD, you can go your separate ways.” They assured, but your mouth fell open.

“You know he left me for X-Men, right?” You splutter, and Ben’s eyes widen as he turns to you with a scoff.

“You’re the one who said the distance was too much for us while I was in Cairo.” He snapped, and you threw your hands in the air.

“I was offering to come and stay with you instead, but you said you were too busy!” That was enough to shut him up, his mouth snapping closed as he turned away sharply, huffing out a resigned sigh.

“We have a few brands and restaurants who are interested in sponsoring, and the producers are willing to increase both your salaries if you go through with it for the full duration.” Your manager informed you both carefully, and you and Ben shared a resigned look.

“Fake intend to marry me for like three months?” He asked, voice low and bitter, and after heaving a long sigh, you look to your managers,

“Fine.”

“I think I love you.” Ben’s character shows up at your character’s door, and you open it in a silk robe.

“Hello to you too.” You laughed, but he’s so serious, so sincere, and when he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t offer anything else, you step up to him, pressing your lips to his, and he wraps his arms around you, hands sliding against the silk over your hips, and you pull back.

“You’re too sweet for me, baby,” voice so low it’s barely a whisper, he’s the one who chases your lips this time, but your catch his chin, and his eyes open.

“You’re high.” He says softly, voice raw and a little desperate.

“And you’re my dealer.” You push him back gently, going to close the door and his expression turns angry.

“That doesn’t mean anything; I love you, Maggie.” His words hang heavily in the air, but before you can respond, they call for cut. You’re told to play it more like it hurts to try and turn him down, and you agree, smiling and nodding all the while. Everyone sets up for another take and you close the door.

When you kiss him this time, his hands are holding your face, and you’ve got your arms around his neck, and it’s like the world falls away from around you. It’s not acting now, hasn’t been for weeks, almost months now, not since he’d asked you out officially. Every time you kiss him you’re desperate to drown in his embrace, and he kisses you like it’s just the two of you, no cameras, no scripts.

“You’re-” and he cuts you off with another quick kiss, which has you laughing a little sadly, “Peter you’re too sweet for me.” He rests his forehead against yours, heaving a sigh.

“I know you’re high.” He says gently, and you don’t push him away this time, just lean back, your finger lifting his chin.

“And you’re my dealer.” You tell him, expression falling.

“That doesn’t mean anything, that doesn’t matter; I love you.” And you know that in that moment, the words mean so much more than the script, than these characters, than the show; he loves you. Ben loves you.

You avoid him, outside of filming, until you actually get a call from your manager telling you you’re contractually obligated to be seen in public together at least once a week. Even while filming you’re short with him, and he’s quick to get away from you the moment he doesn’t need to be around you, which was getting to be pretty bad, seeing as how you had been blocking a sex scene.

After the call, you and Ben get a drink. It’s awkward at first, though that’s unsurprising. After a long sip of his beer, he pats his thighs where he’s sitting in the armchair across from you. You make a face at him, shaking your head.

“It’ll look less suspicious than if we’re shouting at each other across the table.” He hissed, and you groaned, obliging and crossing to sit yourself in his lap. He’s warm and secure, and he wraps his arm around you like it’s second nature. “Let’s not make this weird.” He said gently, and you nod.

“As for tomorrow’s shoot,” you said softly, leaning in to make sure no-one else heard, and he nodded, humming softly, “we’re professionals, and,” after a beat you cleared your throat pointedly, “it’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“Not in front of a camera crew we haven’t.” Ben says with a smirk, and you snicker in agreement. “It’s gonna go fine; this is all gonna go fine, I promise.” And when you raise your eyebrows at him in surprised question, he just laughs softly, and brings you in for a chaste kiss. “It’s only until the DVD’s released.” He assures you, and you let your expression fall, already weary.

“Ben, that’s over a year away.”

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #queen #queen imagines #eastenders #eastenders imagines #the angry lizard writes

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superemeralds · 5 years

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ive had my own idea for a sonic movie that would still be live action and a generic child-friendly action-comedy just like the “real” sonic movie is (presumably) gonna be

IN SHORT!

The main character that makes a duo with sonic for the majority of the movie is a young girl named June.

The overall plot is very similar to sonic x, but altered to fit the time span of the usual one and a half hours movie length in movies like that.

detailed description, explanation of the pictures and character info under the cut!

Through a mal-induced chaos control eggman and sonics friends get transported into the real world. this time space rift causes some really weird stuff to happen and June gets seperated from her dad, who was just on his way to bring her to school.

at first she thinks its cool to meet a talking blue hedgehog in a really pretty nature-y place and skip school to play with him, but soon they notice that they are not alone. Eggmans robots got transported to our world too! June gets captured because she is seen with sonic and therefore identified as a threat by eggmans robots! Sonic runs after her towards what seems to be eggmans base.

meanwhile the dad was transported to a really high place, whihc is bad cos he’s got fear of heights. Luckily tails and knuckles appear and offer to help him down

both teams start looking for eachother, but get interrupted by various obstacles. June and Sonic get hold off by eggmans schemes, while Dad and Sonics friends stumble upon amy, who just escaped a military research facility. she hoped that cream would be with the others, but it seemed that they had to go back and save her. the Dad used to be a hobby boxer, but since he’s a lawyer he doesn’t really do that much anymore. it surely helped him when taking out those government officials. its funny how a lawyer breaks the law, right? there’s many jokes on that and his character development goes from strict father figure that doesnt allow fun and insists on obeying the law to a wild and free man who does what’s right, even if he has to break rules. (also he screams “sorry” every time he KOs someone because hes that kinda guy)

June and sonic manage to infiltrate the egg carrier that was transported into our world and set it to crash and render all his stuff useless!

However, the ship is on course for the city which they didnt realize until it started losing height. eggman pretends that he can still stop this if the people are willing to make him their unquestionable ruler, but sonic and june are determined to stop the ship themselves. sonic keeps eggman busy while June is in the command center trying to find a way to make the ship change course and go crash in the ocean.

in the end everything is exploding and falling apart and eggman is fleeing, June managed to change the ships course and runs up to sonic telling him he needs to run, sonic says that she doesnt have to tell him twice and they go.

sonic gets blown to the side by an explosion and trips over debris, making his knee bleed a little (u cant see blood bc this is kid friendly hes just hurt like theres dirt or smth lol) and he tells june to run and not worry, but she comes back and lifts him on her back and is determined to run as fast as she can to get outside

when she reaches a door she screams because she’s scared. they are close to the ground, but not close enoguh to make it alive if she jumped... then sonic hugs her from behind and says “jump on my command” and shes like. no way. but he says “trust me we’re not gonna get hurt if we hit water” and shes like “but i cant swim that well” sonic chuckles “me neither” and then she gets the memo and is all determined and ready and they make it and its magical

they might also have a scene thats a nudge to 06 where sonic is very Positive and gives good life advice.

while everything seems like its perfect eggman is starting plan B of his conquer the others were all alarmed by the crashing egg carrier and therefore came speeding in the modified car tails rebuild for Dad (it can turn into a fucken plane. Dad and June are finally reunited and he thanks sonic for watching after her, and sonics like nah ur daughter totally watched after me shes a hero.

and then they work together to stop eggmans final boss robot and save the city.

at some point they all found chaos emeralds somewhere. and sonic can turn super to finish eggman off. yeah that sounds cool.

that also makes him and the others fade back into their own dimension, bc hes Got That Power

in the end its just him, June and Dad iin midst of a park in the city with debris and shit and June is like. sonic dont go we jsut became friends

and sonics like. treasure the memories you make and live life to the fullest bc u only got this one shot and u gotta make the best of it. n her dad is all agreeing and shakes his hand and is like. thanks sonic

and June hugs him and cries but smiles and sonic says nice smile bc im kinda getting emotional writing this all out and then he disappears in a flash of light and in that moment it cuts to the mom on the side of the park in her car with the window down going “what the-” and credits roll

thanks for reading

okay i know most of this was really silly and unfinished but granted i was making this all up as i went on and on about this and like. yea. i brainstormed this in like. 2 horus time completely from scratch, only using sonic X as basis for the plot and the humor of popular and successful action comedies as inspiration for the tone of the movie

as for the characters i just thoguht a carefree girl thats tired of being stuffed into a mold meeting sonic and learning that its okay to be herself and do what u think is right, learning that kindness really is the most powerful thing on earth and that friendships are precious??? hell fucking yeah!

also child character is more relateable than a fucking cop. kids will be able to relate to June, while adults (long time fans most of all) will be able to see their past self in her.

as for the dad, a lot of adults might see themselves in this dad role who just wants the best for his kid, while being stuck in a boring job that doesnt really fulfil them, but pays the bills and the lifestyle the family has.

I also really wanted characters that you have not seen before. Whenever i see a black dad he has a shaved head and thats kinda boring its just. basic. nothing agianst dads with shaved heads but why is Every Single(black) Dad Bald/Buzzcut? so i gave him dreads because why not? looks cool when he does action shit. whoosh whoosh

i knew i wanted a kid and i knew i wanted a girl. im really fond of puffy pigtails and i decided to go with a black girl just because! it was the very first thing that came to my mind when i was looking for an adventurous girl that wants to go on adventures with a blue talking hedgehog.

plus loving black dads that lov their girls rly rly need rep u_u

as for sonics design, i tried to compromise with the movie’s need for a more realistic sonic by making him overall fluffier to hint at texture, but keeping his core design and proportions.

the same goes for all the other characters.

I’m still very thinking emoji about eggman, I think it would be best to have him be either played by a fat person. Like Really Fat Person to resemble his original design (hes fat okay who cares abt slanky legs) or have him be CGI/partially CGI due to the fact that he’s from another dimension.

and uh. that’s all i have to say for now! it’s 1am and i should get to bed!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #my art #long post #shadows idea stash

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blookmallow · 4 years

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looking at the Get Out script and my script site has again somehow obtained a strange, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT early version of the script

( note: im white, my interpretation of this movie and the changes that were made are coming from a white perspective, this is not my subject to speak on and if im off on anything/reading it wrong by all means let me know!! )

theres this whole conversation (with like. i think its just a random family being shown alongside andre’s kidnapping) about mickey mouse mascots at disneyworld being “Always Happy :)”/”someone else on the inside” foreshadowing the twist later which i guess was probably ultimately deemed unnecessary or might’ve made disney angry lmao but its. something

i think it was a white family ignoring/completely oblivious to the black man suffering right outside on their lawn too which was a good parallel though

also had this weird thing where the kidnapper’s car had a french tutorial going in it which caused this great juxtoposition but im not sure why this was here

i dont remember this line, it might’ve been cut but apparently rose works at a hospital (or originally was going to, at least)

i dont remember enough about the crucible to say what double meanings there are here (i was a lit major... the shame...) but theres also a line about rose being good at acting/There’s A Lot You Don’t Know

i like these little hints but i feel like removing them and making it less obvious was a good call all the same

originally rose doesn’t pretend she didn’t know about the gathering and just goes “what, i told you :/” i think having her pretend to be just as shocked and “omg you GUYS no WAY” at her parents is a lot more effective at making us (and chris) think she’s on his side

i dont remember this if it did make it to the final cut but rose mentions her mom also used hypnosis on her, kind of giving an implied sense that she might have been manipulated into this too but it isnt brought up again

one of the biggest changes is andre/”logan” was originally in a gay relationship, and like... on the one hand, there’s a particular horror in being forced into a relationship with someone outside your sexuality but this definitely reads very... predatory homosexuality/”they made him be GAY” as an Especially Scary Thing, whereas having him with an older woman instead flips over the “predatory black man/innocent defenseless white woman” stereotype in a much more effective way (which they also did with chris and rose)

it would’ve been... more fitting with the themes to have andre be a gay man who is forced into compulsory heterosexuality if they were gonna go that route but i think the way its done in the final cut is done better than. this

still pretty weird to me how docile and obedient “logan” is given that he’s presumably phil’s white husband in a stolen body though / same deal with the lady hes married to in the final film

rose puts up a lot more resistance when chris wants to leave, she comes around eventually but she definitely is way less “I’m on your side, babe! :)” than she ended up being in the final cut, which i think is definitely for the better

i suspected from the beginning she probably wasnt trustworthy either but they did a way better job making the twist less blatant/we dont really know for sure if she’s in on it too yet

she also randomly brings up the fact that she Might Be Pregnant, which is never mentioned again, im guessing probably another tactic to get him to stay since she thinks he’s trying to break up with her when he wants to leave

if this got into the final cut i didnt catch it but we can probably assume it happened either way, the guy rose’s grandfather took over was one of her victim boyfriends which is REALLY fucked up

another big change is that jeremy and rose’s positions are switched in the final confrontation, rose is the one who comes for chris for the procedure, and he kills her there, while jeremy is the one who comes after him later with the shotgun and gets shot by walter

i think it hits much harder and feels much better from a narrative standpoint to have the confrontation with rose be the end, she’s the one he loved, she’s the one whose betrayal hurts the worst, she’s the one responsible for dragging him into this shit and him being forced to choke her to death is so hard to watch and such a huge moment i think it deserved to be the final showdown

jeremy also is visibly distraught over georgina/his grandmother’s death, while i think its way creepier having rose stoically acknowledge it with no emotion

i know this wasnt supposed to be funny but i m laughinG

last big thing is that it WAS actually the cops at the end originally, the whole last second bait and switch wave of flooding relief as we realize its ROD isnt there, chris actually gets arrested

and like.... while the “and none of it even matters, he won, but of course the system is still going to favor the rich white family, no one’s going to believe him, he’s still ending up being blamed for this because in a black man’s story the arrival of the police does not in any way mean rescue” is also a strong point, i think having that “oh fuck oh FUCK” moment at the end where we realize what’s coming but then it turns out he’s SAVED, as a kind of “and that’s why we stick up for each other” message is so fuckign good and we want to see him win SO BAD

so many horror movies seem to think they Have to go with the hopeless “nobody wins” ending but the fact that this was in here and jordan peele made the decision to let his hero get his freedom back and GO HOME after all the shit he’s been through is like. i dont know, refreshing? i love jordan peele’s storytelling and im so glad for this change

its such a weird ending too because he doesnt even seem like he cares. he’s done fighting. hes just like nah, man, it’s over, don’t worry about it. he’s not interested in justice or exposing whats been happening, he’s not worried it’ll start again (the armitages are all dead at this point but like, there were a lot of people at that party, this could happen again) he’s just. over it. which, yeah, after going through all that, i get it, but it feels. weird, somehow. and the thing with the song is referencing an earlier also-deleted scene where chris is forced to listen to that song over and over as a way of binding him to the white guy who’s trying to bodyswap him bc its his “favorite song” or something

so like. why is he still whistling that. it feels like a “he got out alive, but they still got in his head and he’s giving in and not fighting back anymore all the same” which!! i dont like that!! i dont know

#script reading

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evangclines-blog1 · 5 years

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what if we ...... pretended this was a good intro ..... aha just kidding ..... unless ? i was just gonna link to all my stuff but ... ur girl wrote a lot and i don’t wanna be cruel and force u all to read everything JDBWBDJBWJ so here we go !! <3

( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.

first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3

here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe

into the summary we go !

BACKSTORY: suicide mention tw

eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after

thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away

so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !!

when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3

eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced.

none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up

as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:

she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !

FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw

goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally

libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here

wears euphoria makeup to do groceries

moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management.

created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense.

she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3

it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear.

she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number

has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3

is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.

once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.

believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.

leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.

during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions.

has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.

owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.

literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...

ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting

big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3

not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...

likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it

loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...

has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company

not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately

despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time...

idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*

#opulentintro #╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc ! ┘#me: ok im gonna summarize !#me: literally just rewrites everything just to have it turn out just as long...#CLOWN !!! IM A CLOWN !!!!!

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humans-are-seriously-weird · 7 years

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The Time I Almost Decapitated Someone While Trying To Surf

Brace for a whole lot of pain and stupidity. It starts off a little slow but stick around for the AHHHHHHH As some of you may know, i am an intense klutz. As in I-Will-Trip-Over-Absolutely-Nothing-And-Probs-Knock-Over-The-Crown-Jewels kind of klutz. A Would-Trip-And-Fall-Off-A-Cliff kind of klutz I really need to drive this point home ok this is v important to this story So this is back in Peru (yes the same trip the chicken chased me off a cliff). Work is over for the day, the sun is starting to set, and all 40 of us Canadians are headed to the beach for our very first surf lessons So we show up and our instructors hurl wetsuits at us. I do mean hurl like mine wrapped around my face like a squid i nearly died before i even hit the water smh We get separated into groups of five and head off with our instructors. All the other groups had these young Peruvian guys and girls, all smiles and gentle teachers My instructor was a cranky 80 year old who never spoke and stared at us until we figured out what we were supposed to do Before we even get to go near the beach we start learning the technique on land. We lay down on these fake boards and pretend paddle and pretend stand, all in complete silence because who needs words right Im at the point of assuming our instructor doesnt speak english, which is totes cool cause we’re getting the message anyways. We’d spent three days working around the language barrier, now was no different. Moving on Our instructor finally deems us worthy of hitting the water so we all gleefully make our way to the beach. We were all sunshine and laughter, expecting the warm sand between our toes Not happening The beach is not soft like we had thought. It was rocks. Thousands of rocks and pebbles that sent us skittering as we descended the steep incline to the water First off: No one told me how freaking exhausting this crap is All those movies of people surfing like haha look at me this is so easy and majestic be one with the waves dude were straight up liars ok i was panting and heaving like a 90 year old race horse by the time i made it out far enough to catch a wave Cue twenty frustrating minutes of trying and failing to paddle fast enough to stay on a wave I thought i looked like Dash Incredible, majesticly spearing across the water from a horde of bad guys, my arms windmilling at break neck speeds Yeah no I was more of a drowning sloth if im completely honest Id make it maybe two feet by the time one wave passed and the next was already approaching Here’s where my surfing attempt took an unexpected turn Water splashed behind me and i didnt bother turning around. Probably one of my classmates heading for a better wave area “Need some help?” The voice was definitely not my classmates My instructor sat casually on his board behind me I was so shocked to hear him speak that i just nodded dumbly, not aware of what i was agreeing to. He hops off his board and bobs in the water for a second. He casually puts on hand on the back of my board like he was keeping me from floating away Behind him a wave approaches. I lay back down and get ready to paddle. I figured maybe he’ll tell me when to start paddling so i can actually catch this one but the wave is getting closer and closer and there was still no word from him. I was long past when I started paddling before I hear this soft intake of breath and then, “BRACE!!!” I obey blindly and grip my board in terror wondering if there was a shark lurking beneath me Instead my 80 year old instructor absolutely freaking catapults me forwards i swear that man could launch Niel Armstrong into orbit single handedly NASA who??

Im rocketing along along, too stunned to move Im on a wave!! Im on a… wave????? I scramble to my feet thinking somebody better be seeing this cuz i will not be doing this again By some miracle i manage to stand ok i do not have great balance on land so sticking me on a board in the middle of the ocean was in no ones best interest So im whizzing along feeling like im flying and just generally trying not to face plant on my board or topple into the sea ok i just got up here no way i can manage it a second time Something about the water ahead of me doesnt look right The sun is glaring off the water just enough to block whatever that thing is. Im squinting, praying im not about to hit a rock It was so much worse It was a man He was casually chillin on his board, a set of headphones in his ears, looking to the world like he was asleep Im heading straight for this guy at top speed and as i get closer i realize two very important things I dont know how to stop … … Or turn I think of the wicked looking fins on the bottom of my board I remember mildly thinking this is gonna hurt before reality truly set in I very well might kill this man if i dont figure something out fast I start screaming and flailing with as much strength as i can muster “MOVE MOVE!!!! UNLESS YOU WANNA BE FILLET LIKE A FISH YOU GOT MOVE I CANT STOOOOOP” He casually lifts out one ear bud and looks at me with a barely audible “que?” “YOU GON DIE MOVE!!!!” Clearly he didn’t understand english, but flailing and screaming is pretty universal He leisurely lays back and paddles forewards, moving him ever so slightly out of the danger zone My board hits his as i pass so close i could have flicked his nose My board launches off his and by some miracle i manage to not only stay on it, but stay standing I twist and stare back at the man I definitely did not kill as he casually lays back down on his board Good. That would have been troublesome to explain to immigration officers on my way home I face the beach again and prepare to enjoy my calm landing and– I am less than five feet from shore going full speed SHIT I do what any sane person would do I jump ship

That was the biggest mistake of my life

See just as i jumped for dear life the wave hit its crest and i landed right in the middle of it

Suddenly i was a soggy pair of Canadian socks in the worlds worst dryer

On a very important side note, i am attached to the board by a long thin cable that is velcroed around my ankle, meant to keep the board from drifting and keep me safe

That cord is the bane of my existence

In my Horror Dryer Extreme experience the cord had managed to wrap from my ankle all the way up to my thigh, digging cruelly into my skin even through the wet suit

I slam into shore like a beached whale

Remember kids: shore is not my friend shore is OW

I slam into the rocks and lay there dazed for a moment, gasping for air. No way im going back out there ill just let the water wash over me im done surfing im done with the ocean

But the ocean wasnt done with me

Suddenly im getting dragged by the leg down the beach. I sit up, ignoring the stones slowly filling my pants.

My board had gotten stuck in the out take and was dragging me out to sea once again

I go through another round of Angry Dryer Mama Ocean and get slammed mercilessly back into shore, this time hitting my face so hard i split the skin above my eye. I still have a scar hidden above my eyebrow from this

At this point i am done

I try to stand and grab my board but the cord was still wrapped around my leg

Our teams guide who just so happened to be a surfer comes running over to see if im ok. “hey! Get up! Another wave is coming!”

I try to shout back “i cant, im stuck!” But that’s not what comes out of my dizzy mouth

Instead i lift my leg in the air like a dog and scream “I cant! It’s winding!”

My guide took this as “I cant! Im drowning!”

He runs over looking like a stern third grade teacher “you’re fine just get up!”

“You think im not trying??”

Another wave slams into me from behind and im washed out and washed back in. Lil me cant catch a break

Somewhere in the time id been brutally slammed back to shore my guide vanished. Fine then

I quickly unwrap my leg and scramble to my feet

Screw this, screw the board, im leaving!!

I start sprinting for my life up the hill to safety

SPLAT

My leg is yanked out from beneath me and i face plant hard

I didnt take off the velcro strap

Washed out

And washed back in

I rip the velcro from my ankle the second i hit shore

My guide appears out of nowhere and grabs my board and starts shouting at me to run

I ask no questions as I scramble up the side

Now, my guide, carrying two 50lbs surf boards makes it to the top of the hill just fine

Not me

A wave sucker punches me and drags me out again

Washed out. Washed in.

At this point im just accepting my fate to be forever bound by the sea im like the opposite of a selkie except the sea has my foot and i cant stay on the freaking land free me from my curse

Eventually i make it up to the top and collapse like sweet releif i am free of this hell

My guide sets my board down and looks at me. “Rekina. Stay here, the others are having a hard time too. Dont do anything stupid” trust me pal im going no where this is my home now tell my mother i love her

(Honestly Never tell me not to do something stupid. It’s a sure fire way to make sure i do the absolute dumbest thing possible)

I shoot him a weak thumbs up as he takes off down the beach, cackling at the poor idiot Canadians floundering in the surf.

Youd think my Adventure was over

Not a chance pal

I sit up and notice one of my classmates in the same predicament i was in

There wasnt even another option for my next choice

I stagger back down the hill and help him up. I grab his board and all but shove him back up the hill and somehow we both made it up safe and sound

Until we see our teacher not moving on the beach below us, her body getting battered and tossed around by the waves

Our guide is nearly a kilometer away down the beach, too far for us to call for help

I look at my classmate and he’s shaking his head like i am not going down there again are you crazy

I pop to my feet and race down the hill i am not letting my teacher die on my watch ok im not that kind of person fight me

My classmate groans and follows behind

I grab the teacher who was thankfully just stunned and unhurt and help her to her feet. My classmate grabs her board and they both start staggering up the incline far too slowly. I stay behind them to make sure they dont fall and hit the surf again. Happily they made it up just fine

Not my ass

Im slammed face first into the ground courtesy of a massive wave that just loves me too much

The ocean gave me a friendly love tap as it dragged me down the hill and slammed me against it one more time for good measure

I finally make it back to the top and swear to never surf again in my life (but let’s be real even near drowning cant stop me from trying again)

All in all a pretty successful first attempt

#Adventure Time With Rekina #Sorry for the long post a lot of crap happened #Hope you enjoy #not my best work but you know what we only have another month for Adventure Time With Rekina until i leave soo

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the-little-red-noodle · 5 years

Text

7/24/19 12:09am

“Wish i could get a little undrunk so i could uncall you at 5 in the morning, i would unfuck you..”

i guess its that time of the night where we process some shit before my sleeping pill makes me too high to type.

mark and i hooked up. it actually happened?.. i’m feeling a lot of things but also pretty reserved, as far as things go with me. i’m not leaping into the romancey shit like I usually do. i’m actually pretty unhappy about it, actually.

i’ve been thinking about this moment for so long.. how it would feel to finally be with him and kiss him and say the things i’ve been feeling, and oh god, to hear it back? i should be happy.. im not happy.

there’s so much on the line here.. it’s not just some friend either.. our friendship was, and is, really important to me. i weighted it above other things, and now i feel like i just threw it all away for selfish reasons. i wanted to feel loved and i wanted to be touched and i wanted to touch him and i wanted to have the satisfaction of knowing he felt the same.. i wanted the euphoria of the calm before the sex where everything’s out on the table and we feel the same way and we’re holding our breath seeing who will make the first move and i just..

i think i regret it a little bit..

i think i’ve been selfish about it, cuz its what i wanted and what i have wanted for honestly a really long time but kept to myself cuz there was no way in the world that he would go for someone like me and there’s no way that someone as plain as me could captivate someone like him beyond just sex.. but we didn’t even have sex?..

lemme explain.

last night i went out to a drag show with friends, and it was so wonderful and fun and raunchy and just what i needed. it was a confidence boost (even if i struck out with a girl at the bar, i still tried!) and i got back to the frat house at 1am, drunk and confident and ready to push my limits with him.

we hung out for hours in the spare room, me being way too flirty and touchy with him and him being respectful but present.. we talked until i sobered up and we were laying in bed and the lights are off and he names the people he would have sex with in the frat and im not on the list and i feel uneasy and he talks about having a thing for people in the frat and i ask if he ever had a thing for me and he says yes, a while ago. the beginning of rush, over a year and a half ago. and he asks me if i ever had a thing for him and my face feels so hot and i shut my eyes

“you want my honest answer?”

“..yeah”

“.. i kinda still do.”

and he was quiet for so long and i felt so shitty about it and felt like i made things super weird and i said sorry and he was like no yer fine, which made me feel kinda worse.. i changed the subject and we talked about something else for a bit and then he got quiet again so i asked what was on his mind

“just what you said”

“i’m sorry..”

“don’t be. i’m glad you said something. I’ve been kinda feeling the same way for a while and didn’t know what to do about it.”

i say something to the effect of i was trying to bury it because i didn’t want to fuck up the friendship, and he says he felt the same. and we lay there motionless for a while, staring at the ceiling. everything’s out in the open. cards on the table. breathing.

i move my head to his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around me and my hands are on his chest and our legs are tied up and we just hold each other. silence. breathing. squeezing.

i say “is this stupid? is this dangerous territory?” he says he doesn’t know.

he asks how long I’ve felt this way, and i say for months probably. it was part of the reason i wanted to end my relationship with spencer, because i was having feelings for someone else.. we lay there. silence. breathing.

he pulls me in closer and holds me so tightly. he says he feels really happy.

we stay there until he falls asleep and i slip out of his arms cuz i cant sleep tangled up. it takes me a while but i eventually fall asleep. we wake up around 7:30. i go to the bathroom and wash last nights makeup off my face. i come back and we hang out. we talk, we laugh, we cuddle..

at some point i was getting frustrated that he wouldn’t just bite the bullet and kiss me. i dont have much balls, but i can communicate enough. and i start getting punchy and he’s laughing at me like what do you want? and im pouting and not saying anything and then eventually he tells me to roll on my side to face him and he looks at me and he moves my hair like in the movies and he moves in and half grazes my lips with his and moves back quickly and says is that what you meant? and i laugh and exclaim yes! finally!

(and now the good part)

i pull him back and then it just happens. all that i had envisioned that the moment would be like doesnt matter anymore because its just me and him and we’re kissing and he’s moving almost on top of me and after a bit he pulls off me and lays down and says how was that? and i dont even answer as i start kissing him again and get on top of him and we’re moving and he’s grabbing my ass (mark grabbed my ass?? who are we??) and he’s moaning like i’ve never experienced a guy doing and at some point i say that ya know.. we could like.. actually do it?.. and he says “im not sure” and that he’s a little overwhelmed and hasn’t wrapped his head around the fact that any of this is even happening. and i feel kinda rejected and i get off him, not in a make a scene way, but in a like we should take a breather way. and we lay there and i’m so hot and bothered and he starts apologizing being like

“was that too much? did i embarrass myself?”

"no no you’re fine, im just a little frustrated”

“did i do something wrong? I’m sorry”

“no.. i just.. want.. you..”

and then he’s on top of me and he’s kissing me and kissing my neck and he kisses down.. then kinda rests his head on my thigh? and then we just had a totally normal unrelated conversation while he was resting between my legs? in the most nonchalant way and it was wholesome and funny and fuck man..

we moved into his room, cuz ac, and we were laying in his bed talking and sharing memes and i ask what he’s thinking about

“sex. you?”

“sex.”

and i look him in the eye and kind of smile, and i think he avoids it and says he’s going to the bathroom, and i’m thinking when he gets back, that’s when it can happen.

it felt kinda perfect in a way. like yeah, i wanted to sleep with him, like badly, but i think it’s better to ease in and not go too fast that we can’t backtrack if necessary.. but i didn’t want to backtrack..

in the moment, when its just me and him, i have all the confidence and sensibility to make decisions and do things i’m comfortable with, but then other people talk to me in the house and pull me out of his room and then it becomes a group hangout instead of just us 2. and its fine, cuz we are great friends and we just joined conversation and it peters out.. and then im packing to leave and he gets in the shower and i text him that ill probably head out and he texts me drive safe love ya bud!! and i kinda felt horrible?.. i feel like i’m panicking and hurting.. and i wait for him and he gets out of the shower and we sit together and i just wanted one more slight cuddle before heading out cuz reassurance i guess.. so fucking stupid..

he just goes right back to our usual cadence of banter and memes and physical distance and i’m in a weird fragile place feeling like i need him

i do not need him

and i get enough physical reassurance to put on my big girl face to drive home and go about my day pretending that i’m not deeply upset at the thought that i just lost my best friend cuz i caught feelings..

i know i’m a pretty dramatic person, i did do theatre for years for a reason. homegirl likes attention. and i dont take rejection super well (hence no longer doing theatre lol). and it felt.. weird. 99% of the weird was definitely coming from me. cuz he just started acting like my friend again, and thats fine, but now i want him even more..

had we just fucked and gotten it over with, i could settle down. but we just dry humped and he kissed me over my clothes.. which was lovely, but i’m also a big girl and i want to have sex.. and now i feel like im gunna fixate on it until it can happen..

i think i was underselling him, sexually, to myself cuz i didn’t want to get my hopes up.. he’s not my physical type at all, and he’s like a weird guy and like my best friend, but it ended up being pretty good.. we could find our groove probably, if he wanted to..

i don’t even know where we stand now. i don’t know what he wants, really. he says he’s cool with whatever as long as we stay friends, and i agree. the friendship is the most important thing here. and i don’t want things to be weird, but i cant back out now just for preservation cuz i want to be with him and i love him.. a lot

still processing. glad i got it all on paper, but now its 1am and i gotta cool off cuz im hot n bothered and ugh.. i just wish we could really talk about it..

i texted him that i missed him at like 11:20. he hasn’t responded.

update at 1pm the next day he said “miss you too friend”

dude.. fuck this.

“on some nights like this I cant help but think of us.. i’ve been reminiscing, sipping, missing you. can you tell me whats with all this distant love? on some nights like this I just wanna text you, but for what? you’ll say you want me then go switch it up.. just gonna play with my emotions just because...”

#samiswriting

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safetyqueenofhell · 7 years

Text

Uh, News?

((its ‘pume rants about life” time))

So uh...hi guys. Funny story. I started out this blog because I loved the headcanon, but was at first hesitant to because of my gender identity or rather, I felt shitty for putting the words in the mouth of a transgender character when I myself was cis. This is a feeling I’ve pretty much always had about the transgender community. I always liked to think myself supportive of this community, but because of a certain rhetoric that plagued me as a kid I never really felt as though I was allowed to relate.

My older sister was a bitch. I dont know if she is now, all I know is that she doesnt wanna feel like ‘the bad guy’ anymore so I’m not allowed to bring it up. She used to draw pictures of me dying in horrible painful ways and talk about how happy thinking of me being mutilated made her. She used to take pictures of me in the shower and show her friends. Eventually convinced mom to force me to watch her shower and let her sleep in my bed with me. Her reasoning to my mother was that she was afraid of serial killers and didnt want to be alone. What she told me was that if someone were to attack she wanted someone else for them to go after, and she loved mom, my dad, and my little sister too much to hurt them. I was expendable.

She also really liked yaoi. There was pretty much gay porn always on the search history of the family computer whenever I tried to look up kingdom hearts or naruto characters. She would causally joke with her friends that she she would trade me for a cute little uke brother in a heartbeat.

When I was 13 I realized I was totally into girls. I (very famously) announced over the dinner table that I was a lesbian while asking my grandma to pass me the potatoes in the same sentence. My older sister was furious. She’d take every opportunity to tell me that I was making it up. That I wasnt really a lesbian, and in fact I was a horrible person for pretending to be a lesbian and invalidating the real struggles of the LGBT community.

This is not the first time I would hear shit like this from her.

Also around this time I started bringing duct tape to school with me. Every day I’d sneak the tape into my backpack, then go to school and strap my breasts down in the bathroom. I didnt really know what it would accomplish, but I liked it. I liked seeing my breasts disappear under my shirt. It wasnt the same as being allowed into the boys locker room like I wanted, but it was close enough.

I started reading books about girls dressing up as boys going on adventures. Not just ‘Mulan’ shit (in fact I came to resent the movie because it is by far the most well known but also the worst depiction of the trope) but also Leviathan, Song of the Lioness, and to a lesser extent The Monstrous Regiment (which is hilarious & gay as all fuck 100% recommend) More then anything I wanted to pass for a boy, even before I knew what transgender was. I cut my hair, I wore the boys school uniform when I left home to go to boarding school, I fantasized about kindling a romance with my roommate. This wasnt to be, alas, (even tho Missa is a literal perfect human being and I love the shit out of her) but I did get to experiment with girls in the form of my first girlfriend ‘E’ and the girl who took my virginity, ‘C’.

When I went home for the first time it was like returning to the darkness. I didnt realize how much I hated my home until I went back that first winter break. I would talk about my experiences (And since I had 0 shame) would also talk about girls. My sister wasnt having it. She’d shut me down in front of my own parents, insisting that I wasnt Bi because she’d never seen any of my girlfriends. Mom wanted us to repair our relationship so she’d make me drive around the street in circles talking to my sister as she repeatedly beat me down.

The next couple of years at school were pretty much blended together. I became something of a “Come Out Kid” in that, for some reason, I was the first person a lot of people told when they started having homosexual or gender divergent thoughts. Particularly girls who didnt know they liked girls until they met me. Coupled with my sister’s abuse, this kinda gave me a fucked up sorta ego that makes other people uncomfortable to this day. I almost force myself not to believe so many people came out because it seems like it couldnt have happened, how could the disgusting leech of a person my sister convinced me I was have so many people be attracted to her? Even still, a fucked up multi-faceted ego is still very much an ago, so I had the confidence to date both boys and girls. I dont wanna get into it now but was also molested by both boys and girls. One of my best friends ‘A’ made her transition, and around senior year I began to suspect that I might be on the agender side as well. My other best friend ‘M’ told me that I only wanted to “Join A on the bandwagon” and I believed him instantly because that was the kind of fucked up person I was.

I came home for break one year and saw my little sister had no contact with any boys at 13, which I found strange considering me and my older sister only hung out with boys at that age. my little sister’s dance studio was run by an entire staff of lesbians who were always incredibly supportive of sexuality and self expression. I thought it only natural that if my sister were gay then she’d probably be open about it. I suggested it to my mom. she threatened to disown me. when i said that was homophobic, she called me a monster for daring to call her such a horrible word. No, she wasnt homophobic. what she was was a mother of a confused 13 year old girl, and would not stand for me trying to police her young, undeveloped sexuality by saying the word ‘lesbian’ in front of her.

That very same summer my older sister harassed me in a public restaurant making fun of the time “grace thought she was gay but was only faking for attention” and I looked into my mothers eyes as she said nothing.

Cut to freshman year of college my older sister was graduating, and I was experimenting with my gender. My sister was ironically a psych major and graduating that year. Since I was forced to care about her again mom tried to force us to love each other by (you guessed it) more stuffing us in a car together and driving around. I admitted that I might be a boy. When I talked about wanting to look and fit in with boys she said if I ‘need to rely on societal norms to justify yourself you’re an anti-feminist and hate yourself for being a woman’ when i said that it just felt right she once again demanded ‘proof’ and went in idiotic circles from there until she slammed the breaks and said she said that I just hate myself and am desperate to be anything other then myself and I’m incredibly pathetic for doing so. She then said that if I were really a boy she’d love and accept me. But I’m not. she said that she forgives me for being such a horrible little sister and its high time i love myself too. she went on to say I’ve been faking my mental illness and I’ve always hated her for no reason and im ruining her life blah blah blah whatever.

Tragic backstory unlocked you get it.

Cut to now. Cut to making this blog. Cut to having the upmost respect and adoration to anyone who is able to come out of the closet. Not disgusting fetishists like myself, real people with real problems to overcome. I loved trans marco and related to her greatly, and made this blog. but soon people started asking me questions. asking for advice. and how the hell could I help? i had no idea what it was like to be trans. All my life I had only pretended to be LGBT so boys would pay attention to me. what could I possibly tell them? I started to look up terminology. I started to read memoirs. I might be a horrible fetishist who spits on the struggles of people who suffer by my mere existence, but goddamnit if anyone is looking at this blog I’m going to do my best to help them through their struggles. I’d agonize for days any time i got an ask about trans issues, trying to make the wording perfect to make up for the fact that i was cis scum capitalizing on the ‘fad’ of trans issues.

and you know fucking what. everything i found. everything i read. all of it i related to. all of it validated me. I thought about it, wrote down my feelings, talked to friends, and pretty much everyone agreed that why the fuck would i even lie about something like this? what could i possibly have to gain?

this is a whole lotta rambling for a whole little payoff. I guess what I’m trying to say is that...like.

I think I’m a boy. I think I’ve always been one.

I dont know if thats the same as being MtF or where the divergence between the experiences lay but. Every time i get mistaken for male i just get this flower of happiness in my heart. thats literally the image that comes to mind. just. happy. happiness rushing through my veins like glittery as fuck happy.

Idk what I even hope to accomplish with this. maybe I hope that, since I cant really come out to my family, I just want someone to...witness me? i dunno. But, Trans!marco helped me, even though I dont share any of her internal conflicts directly. So maybe someone else is reading this too. maybe someone else has been told they’re a faker. maybe someone else’s mother accused them of just trying to ‘get a reaction’ maybe someone else heard that mother bragging to her friends at dinner parties about how brave caitlyn jenner is and patting herself on the back for supporting her. but thank you everyone who has sent me asks. Thanks to all of you. I havent been paying much attention to this blog, and maybe the hiatus is gonna go on a little longer, but thanks to all of you for sticking with me. I love all of you. bless.

-Pume

#not safety #but #i needa talk about this somewhere?#and honestly #this blog made me realize some thangs #abuse #tw: abuse #long post

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