#Like knowing from a young age that you are what ruined your mothers life????? Fucking weird man i dont think i will ever process it

[strawbsj]

G!p stepmom Yujin x fem!reader

Part one , part two

Request!

Warnings: cheating (ughhhh), slight baby trapping, wlw marriage, almost got caught, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your Willy), age gap, backshots, rough penetration, not proofread, p in v, slight manipulation, basically porn with plot, make out session, nasty sex and just filthy smut!!😮‍💨

Word count: 1,4k

After the previous event that happened between you and Yujin, You both started fucking like rabbits. She taught you new things, how to suck her the way she likes it, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, cockwarming, basically a whole 101.

It was crazy how fast you learned how to please her and even crazier how your cunt was as tight as before at the way she fucked you, maybe even tighter.

There was few times where she used a condom, and there was also few times where she was raw hammering her tip against your cervix, but then she would deprive you from her creamy essence. Cumming on your back and chest. The only time she filled you up was on the first fuck-session with her, and you felt like on cloud 9.

You wished she would just toss away that rubber material, and just abuse your pussy with her big cock and fill you up. But she seemed so enthusiastic to use that useless roll up thing.

You knew that she is your stepmom and that she literally is married to your mother so she obviously just wants a fast fuck session till her wife comes back and then she would forget about you. What you didn’t know however was that she was as desperate as you, to throw that rubber material away.

She just thought that you are still young and that you probably don’t want to start overthinking about the risk of you getting pregnant with her child. So it was just something she had to accept, even tho feeling your spongy walls squeeze around her raw cock would drive her insane and make her cum three times faster, but she had to accept your wish that you didn’t even verbalize.

You had to take matters into your own hand, you went to her bedside table and opened the drawer. You took the two packs of condoms and went out to throw them in the street trash so she definitely won’t find them anywhere. You already stopped taking your birth control so that’s done and now you got rid of the condom packs so everything is under your control.

It wasn’t long till Yujin came back from work. She stepped inside the apartment and saw you on the couch laying comfortably. Your eyes traveled to her form, she looked breathtaking, a layer of sweat on her forehead, her other hand holding her black leather bag, the first two buttons unbuttoned while her was hanging loose.

You just wanted to suck the life out of her, take her balls into your mouth while the head of her cock was shoved down your throat, making her beg for more and gasp for air, but that was other days plan. Now you just wanted her buried deep inside you, spilling her cum inside your womb.

She walked towards the couch, sinking down on the space left, before searching for your face to pepper you with kisses. Her lips danced against yours, she pulled you onto her lap, you now straddling her. Your one hand was wrapped around her throat while the other cupping her face. Her hands were on the lower of your back. Massaging the area slowly.

It didn’t take long till the kiss got sloppy and messy, her saliva and your saliva drooling down your chin. To some people this was nasty and disgusting, but the both of you loved every second of it.

Yujin couldn’t say that she was dissatisfied with her bed life with your mother, but she definitely wasn’t satisfied either. Your mom hitting her way too often with ‘we are too old for this!’ And sticking with the boring same routine. She lost her mind over you, you were something so pure, ready to get ruined by her, all of your firsts with her,youthful, ready to experience new things, be freaky and wild. She hated the sentence we are too old, because she wasn’t old, and besides your mom was about 11 years older than her. She was about ten years older than you,not the craziest age gap but not the most common either.

Yujin wrapped her arms around your inner thighs before lifting you up and standing to walk towards the bedroom. She laid you down on the bed before opening the drawer, her expression turned from lust to annoyance pretty fast. She let out a loud growl, looking down at her hard on then back at you.

The condoms were not there so she had to go and buy them, and what shop is open at this time? Your eyes met hers, and you slid the already lose tie off her neck and started unbuttoning her blouse. She stopped your hands from continuing “We ran out of condoms and no shop is open now.” She felt bad for denying you but she wasn’t risking it. Her dick could wait till tomorrow.

“We don’t need one!” You smiled seductively before spitting out in a sultry tone. You yanked her hand away before continuing to unbutton her blouse. She looked back at you like you grew two heads.

“Are you sure? We can wait till tomorrow.” She reassured you, hoping that you are not feeling pressured to do anything. All of these thoughts were wiped once you lightly squeezed her hard on. A husky groan fell from her lips, her head thrown back. She tossed the last piece of clothing before ripping off the black silky night gown off you. The violated material now on the floor.

She took a grasp of your hips and flipped you over, face down ass up. Her bare cock having contact with your slick panties, she rubbed her angry red tip on the fabric, resulting more precum to spill out and more of your wetness to gush out.

With one motion your panties were next to the ripped night gown. She smeared her precum all over your slit, before pushing inside your velvety walls. A loud moan escaped your vocal cords. Your hands were gripping the sheets for dear life.

She started thrusting herself inside you roughly, hitting the sweet spongy spot inside you over and over. A ring of your wetness increasing with every thrust on her base.

She gripped your hip bone harshly, her nails piercing through your skin. While the bed rocked with every thrust of her hip.

Your ass jiggled with every movement, skin slapping sounds were echoing through the walls. While you fucked yourself back on her.

Your hips meeting each other and a loud stinging slap was landed on your ass cheek. You let out a whimper. Her hips actions were stopped at the ringing sound of her phone, and tears formed in your eyes while she let out another annoyed groan the same she let out earlier.

She picked her phone only to see that it was your mom, a rush of excitement flood through her before whispering next to your ear.

“It’s your mom, be quiet for me princess, yeah?”

You nodded hastily, putting a hand over your mouth to make sure you won’t let out a sound.

“Hi baby, everything good over there?” Yujin said in the most sickely sweet way ever, acting like she isn’t fucking her wifes daughter.

“Yeah, love. Just wanted to ask how you and y/n are doing, is everything ok?”

“Me and y/n are doing amazing, miss you so much!!” Yujin started rubbing her tip on your cervix. Why are you this quiet?? Isn’t she fucking you good enough?? She yanked your hair, a gasp came out from you. She wrapped a hand around your throat, forcing you to lay your head on her shoulder. Moans were threatening to come out from you at the way she was so soundlessly pounding your aching pussy. You weren’t paying attention to the conversation, the only thing on your mind was her hips thrusting in you.

She spit on your neck before licking a stripe up, you let out a whine. She bid her last goodbyes to your mother before hanging up. Her relentless pace was back on, her mouth was nibbling on the sensitive skin of your neck.

The pleasure was unbearable and overwhelming and with that your watery substance tried push her cock out. The clench of your pussy sent her over the edge and she spilled her seed deep inside your womb. A satisfied moan came out from your lips. Deep slumber took over the both of you.

#ahn yujin smut #ahn yujin x fem reader #ahn yujin x reader #ahn yujin #ive smut #ive ahn yujin smut #ive x fem reader #ive yujin smut #ive x reader #ive yujin #ive yujin x reader #yujin smut #yujin x reader #yujin x fem reader #yujin #ive

[certainduckanchor]

PITIFUL part 1

pairings: gojo x reader

genre: angst

Disclaimer: Read at your own risk.

Gojo hate the fact that he's married already. He don't want to be tied with someone at the age of 28. He has so many plans for himself. He wants to be free. But here you are acting so sweet, kind, and timid in front of him, which is he hates the most. Why would you ever agree to be married to him? Is it because he came from prestigious clan? You want his money?

He don't even know you, where you from, or even your name, he don't give a damn. It was his parents and elders idea, practically thinking that it would be best if the strongest sorcerer get married and has heirs.

" why are you here? " he asked you look irritated. Everyday he always asked you that question. Thinking why are you living together.

" because im you wife." you said softly. You heard him took a deep breath. You didn't bother to look at him because you know he hates you. Every single thing about you hates him, well you can't blame. The strongest sorcerer suddenly get married to someone like you. Someone who is far from his status.

" wife my ass! Are you really that stupid and pathetic?" he mocked. Trying to make you mad.

Everyday is like this since you two got married. It was so sudden that no one knew. It was a simple wedding celebration just you and Gojo's clan.

He also made it clear that no one should know that you're married together. Even in school, he specifically told you to stay away from him and you agree. You respect his decision, after all your life is meaningless anyway. You don't want to burden him.

" call me what you want, Satoru. But I don't need to answer you." you simply said not bothering to look at him.

He grabbed your arm which made you look at him. He looks dangerous. He's blue eyes is piercing through your body. It made you shiver.

" what do you want woman?! My money? My body? You want heirs?! Tell me and I'll fuck you right here and now!"

" let me go." you whispered. You don't want to start a fight with him.

" what did you say?!"

" let me go Satoru..." you warned.

" what if I don't? What can you do? You're nothing but a weak woman, pathetic, stupid, bit--"

You slapped him so hard. His eyes widened in disbelief, what you did boils him.

" I-i'm sorry, I-i didn't mea--" you tried to touch his face.

" how fucking dare you!" he grabbed your arm. You cried in pain. It's like he'll break your arm.

" S-satoru please.. l-let me go. It hurts. Please! Please! Just let me go. I'll do anything you want!" your begging. You tried to calm him down. Suddenly he stop, grinning at you. This is what he likes, he likes you to beg for him. He wants you to realized that marrying him is a wrong decision.

" get out of this house. I don't want to see your face." you nod and he leaves. If this is what he wants, I'll give it to him.

You packed your things. Wondering where you will stay the night. Hotel? it's expensive. You dont have much money, even if Gojo is your husband you never touch what's his. So you're only living in your salary. You decided to stay the night in your dorm.

Just a little. You just have to endure everything in this life.

- ff -

" yn-sama. you're late. " the maid bowed at you. She gives you a robe.

You look at the door infront of you. You thought you will finally escape from them after marrying the person they trully want but you can't. You're so sick of them, but whenever Gojo sees you you can't help but feel bad for him. You really don't want this to happened - to ruin his life.

You entered the hell, this was hell from you ever since you're young.

" yn we've been waiting for you." it was your mother. You bowed to them.

" I'm sorry.. there was something i nee--"

" i don't give a damn. So how's your married life with the strongest sorcerer?" she asked.

Every month, every last friday of the month. You were told to report from them about what it's like to live with the strongest sorcerer.

" it was great mother. he's so powerful and a kind person." you lied, still bowing to them. You feel sick, every month you have to make an excuse just to please them.

" that's good to hear. how about heirs? are you pregnant now?" your father asked.

This is their plan, to get you married from the strongest sorcerer, have his money and give birth to him. It was all their selfish desire.

" no father.. Satoru is so busy being a sorcerer and clan leader." you bite your lower lip.

" what?! you're married for 5 months already still no child?" he looks at you angry. Cursing you because for him it's your fault. You mother who was sitting beside him looks angry too.

" why don't you seduce him! Use your fucking mind! We want heirs now!" he shouts at you.

You silently clenched your fist. You're tired from this. Tired from your life. Tired from everything. You just want to die.

" I'll do my best next time father." you whispered.

" you better be or else you know what will happen to you!"

Suddenly the door opened, it was the maids. You know the drill what will happen next. They will beat the shit out of you at the basement.

You let them drag you, you didn't bother to squirm. Hoping this will be the last, hoping you will not survive from this. No one will really cares if you died here, even your husband who dispise you the most.

They lock you up for 2 hours. Whipping and beating your body. You didn't make a sound nor cried. You felt numb, growing up from these beatings made you strong enough not to cry.

After beating the shit out of you. You just dress like nothing happened. Still wondering why you didn't died today. You were used to this.

Is this the purpose of my life? I just wanted to be happy. But why is this happening? Why do I have to endure everything? Is it too much to ask?

When you arrive at your dorm. You locked yourself crying. Everything hurts. You're tired from everything. Maybe it's better if you killed yourself now. That's it. You'll end this suffering.

You stared at the mirror. Smiling at your reflection. Reminiscing your childhood trauma until Gojo Satoru entered your useless life. Gojo was right. Who wants to gets married to a woman like me? A woman who looks stupid and pathetic. A woman who's weaker than him. I'm just a bug in his life, a woman who ruined his life.

You drive yourself to your shared apartment. Satoru was there, for sure. Today you will end ties with him. You're finally giving him the freedom he deserves.

When you arrived at your apartment, you heard a moan coming from your bedroom. Not a surprise anymore.

" Satoru..." you called. His eyes widened and he immediately cover his body together with the woman he's fucking.

" what the hell! why are you here?" he angrily said.

" I'm sorry.. " you started. " Sorry for ruining your life. Sorry because I agreed to marry you. You're right, I'm just a pathetic and stupid woman. I don't hate you actually. Thank you and sorry for everything. "

He was stunned. This is so sudden. The woman in your bed looks confuse too.

" I'm cutting everything we had. Don't worry I'm still keeping your secrets. I wish you a happy life. You deserve so much. " you smiled for the last time. You bowed at him leaving him in the bedroom stunned. He can't believe you did that.

You genuinely smiled to him. Gojo Satoru swears that this is the first time you smiled at him.

You went back to your dorm happily.

Later that night..

They found your body in your dorm, lifeless, full of scars, bruise and wounds. The sound of their cries echoes through the hallway of Jujutsu High. Their beloved teacher yn is gone.

No proofreading.

P.S. thank youuu @kawaiivillainess98 for suggesting a title ❤️

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #anime and manga #gojo angst #gojo x y/n #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x wife

[yanderederee]

MeetYourTutor,

nav: start! › after!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

2004 - Eight Grade-year

Baji Keisuke really did try to be as straight laced as he could, but his grades showed none of the same effort.

Ever since he came home to his mother crying, scared for her baby boy’s future, Keisuke started to realize that his actions and mistakes could be big— real, and hurt the people he wanted to protect.

‘I cant be worrying her like that’, he reasoned to himself. She was a young mom. 28 years of age, with a 13 year old brat… Keisuke knows he’s made life hell for her, but she never gave up on. He tried making up for everything he ruined for her, becoming more respectful in towards her the most recent years, doing as he’s told (for the most part) and helping around the apartment… to make her proud.

He was really trying.

February22nd, 2004

Baji Keisuke is held back from entering into the third year of middle school, and will have to repeat year two.

—-As stated by an official government stamped letter; to the Baji residence mailbox.

Ryoko Baji cried when she thought her son was asleep. Keisuke’s guilt sank in deeper and deeper as the hours passed.

He asks Mikey for advice, and sure as boxes are square, glasses make you smart.

Two days pass, and a single failed shopping trip turned 40 v 1 man brawl later, he obtained the smartest person glasses he could find.

So why the hell were the pre-qualifying class assignment packets practically illegible? The glasses help (he swears) but he really had to put in the work this time.

February26th, 2004

Imagine how confused Baji felt, watching his mom hustle into the apartment, giddy despite having returned home after her third shift of the day. It was rare to see her home these last few months. She’d put on a brave face and did her best to help Keisuke through what had just happened 7 months ago— but a man was dead and her son had been the face of local news. Finding work was hard, but she preserved.

He wouldn’t let those efforts go to waste.

Ryoko held up a cutely decorated 8x11 colored printing paper, advertising 30-60 minute tutoring sessions for 1,000¥ per week, and encouraged her son to take the opportunity. Baji was quick to agree with her.

That’s how you met Ryoko and Keisuke Baji.

Ryoko had contacted you the same day, asking for further set details.

You were to attend the same school, which made things more convenient for when school would start up next month.

So, after you’d looking over Keisuke’s pre-qualification-class assignment packet, you got a feel for where you should focus your efforts.

But Baji Keisuke was Fucking unreadable. He was grinning like a boy and thanking you for your help one second, the next you’re like a stranger to him. He couldn’t remember your name at first either, qualifying to calling you whatever name came to mind first.

You would once in a while poke irritably at the nerdy four eyes, and how you were technically older than him, by eight months, in fact.

So to poke back, he addressed you like the upperclassman you claimed to be, sempai-chan.

From your first meeting, up til March 5th, you and Baji had studied hard for the pre-qualifying test that would take place on the 15th.

School would start early April, and a strong start is going to be your greatest milestone, as you claimed.

… Yeah, up until March 5th, when you and Baji found and cared for a broken kitten on the side of the road. *› nav:part.1… ›

It wasn’t normal to see injured animals laying so out in the open. It was even more nerve wracking to notice the broken bones were human inflicted. What kind of bastard hurts a fucking kitten?

The thought made Baji Keisuke’s blood boil.

Starting from that day, he started paying closer attention to those in the area. This was the first time something like that had happened.

But nothing happened since.

Activity was taking place away from his side of town. Keisuke didn’t have to worry about you, since he was a half hour walk away. You never went out after dark, and your weekends were mostly spent in safe areas.

He didn’t have to worry about you.

You shyly admitted to Baji once that you named Sango after the day you two had found her. (san-3, go-5, san.go-3.5> march 5th)

March 11th, 2004

The only time he felt calm was when he watched you ideally scribble gibberish into a notebook. He watched your hands. The way your fingers flex in delicate and quick strokes, the lead rattling in the mechanical pencil filling the comfortable silence between you two.

The glasses Keisuke had purchased were practically made of two way glass. He saw out of them just fine. They weren’t prescribed glasses or anything, just a tool that made him smarter.

But from those looking his direction, thanks to the thick rims and aggressive reflect; his sharp resting bitch face eyes went completely unnoticed.

He was grateful for that the most, Baji decided when he caught you take a glance up at him, completely unaware how he was just staring at your hands.

You thought you were slick with that glance. It was cute.

You weren’t nervous of Baji I’m the slightest. By nature, Baji sort of registered you as a small animal worthy of his protection and at least some respect.

He gave you credit where it was due; you were smart and patient with his dumb ass, circling with a pink gel pen where he went wrong, and your neat handwriting next to it with helpful reminders.

He dazed off while he was watching you study. You were just mesmerizing, somehow.

“Why do I have to remember these stupid old guys who’ve been dead for like, a thousand years?” Baji was growing more and more restless as the lesson continued.

You gave a pitiful look, and sighed. “Yeah, it is pretty pointless when you think about it, but,” you grinned, and started a bit of a story time to make the history lesson more enjoyable to sit through. Stringing along stories of these old dead guys of the Edo period as characters (who’s names you repeated often).

Baji seemed to get it, actually. He could follow a good story line.

“So this Nobunagi guy—“ “Nobunaga.” You corrected. “Yeah, whatever, he just decided one day he was gonna just unite japan?”

He was engaging.

Ecstatic, you gave a wide smile and nodded. He was finally retaining something.

After some praise, Baji was content with the work he’d done today. So, when you’d decided to shift your attention back to your own paper so he could do the same, he realized just how tired he was.

The soft strokes of your pencil lead against the smooth paper was like a lullaby lulling him to sleep, as his eyes grew heavier and heavier. Cross armed and head jostled against his left shoulder, Baji Keisuke well asleep in his chair.

You didn’t notice for a while, actually. Not until you heard a soft snore break through the silence of the library. Looking up, you noticed Baji slumped in slumber.

Of corse he was sleepy. You of all people knew this. You were the one keeping him up at night, both with school prep and sentimental thoughts he couldn’t simply swat away.

You let out a soft chuckle before resting your hand on your hand, gazing upon him for a little while.

Longer, you stared. His hair was slicked back, but it was long. You wondered how long, which lead to wondering how he would look if he ditched the nerd cut. He was handsome, from what you could tell. It was a shame he had to hide behind glasses.

You brought up the idea of contacts to him, but he shooed the idea quickly. The curiosity of the subject never peaked your interest like how it was now. Maybe it’s because he looked so vulnerable. While giving a fluttering glance to his lips, you had noticed a very sharp canine. Sure, he smirked and showed off his toothy grin a lot, but you couldn’t help wanting to touch them.

Weirdo.

As minutes passed, you finally couldn’t take the curiosity swimming in your head anymore. Gently—very, gently, you shifted closer to Baji, and slowly grazed your fingers against the plastic rim of his glasses. You pulled the ear pieces back very slightly, so as to not disturb the peaceful sleeper.

This was the first time you had seen Baji Keisuke so vulnerable. Even in class, his eyebrows seemed to always pinch together in annoyance, frustration, boredom, almost all the time. His features were soft… decently long eyelashes, smooth skin pulling over his higher cheekbones.

He was more than handsome, Baji was a pretty boy. You blushed softly at this revelation. On second thought, maybe he did need the glasses. Both of your sanity and his lowkey persona.

You leaned in just a little closer. When you looked closely enough, you could see some slight discoloration. Little scapes that healed over many times. Now that you were paying attention, his knuckles were also a little raw. Dry, and darker than the skin on his hand.

You admired how peaceful he looked, subconsciously leaning closer and closer to get a better look at all his features before he could wake. You didn’t even notice how close you were until you felt Baji’s breath softly exhale against your lips.

You almost wanted to kiss him—

But you didn’t have time to let your brain work the information before Baji started to stir. Panic soon rested in, and you dropped the glasses on the table on top of his study paper before pushing your head down to look very interested in the stupid study packet.

Baji let out a deep baritone groan as he began to stretch his limbs, yawning instinctually. Imagine his surprise when he blinks his eyes awake to notice everything crystal clear, no obstruction on his peripheral vision like he was now used to. He too started to panic, noticing the way his glasses were tossed on his paper. They must have fell off, he reasoned, before quickly scooping them up with lightning speed.

Glancing your way, he feels relief that you seemed too focused on your studies to notice his little blunder. Oh right. Studying. That’s why you two were here in the first place.

Baji groaned once he got a look at his paper. Barely even through the first half of the page. He really did not feel like studying. He needed to get out and warm up the stiffness in his muscles. Maybe Toman had some business to take care of he could take on. The thought excited him.

You glanced his direction once again. The displeased look on Baji’s face was very clear. Even if you were to force him to sit and memorize the useless knowledge, you knew he wouldn’t retain it with the headspace he was swirling in. So in an attempt to act casual, you asked,

“I-it’s seven, so we can head out if you want,” you offered, packing your things premature of the answer. “I’ll treat you to a juice or something from the vending machine in the commons.”

Baji wasn’t one to turn down the chance to ditch the school work Or getting a free juice box.

Not having to ask twice, he dumped all his stuff in his bag with no filing system whatsoever.

“Say, where do you go in such a hurry after school?”

Well, he wasn’t expecting that question from you. Wide eyed and panicked, Baji tried thinking up a quick lie. “I visit. The… pet clinic.” He nodded. Somehow you believed it, or acted like you did at least. A wide close mouthed smile made its way on your face at the confession.

“That’s cute. You really care about animals. Volunteer work?”

Baji grumbled under his breath while looking away with a bashful spread. “Whatever. Guess you could call it that.”

If you considered tracking down clues to find the bastards who were responsible for multiple similar cases like Sango, broken legs or pelvic bones, cigarette burns and such; than sure, he was happy to volunteer.

“Oh yeah,” he suddenly remembered. “Sango. Vet said she only had a week left for recovery. Should be dispatched to a shelter nearby sometime after.”

“A shelter?” You asked in a whisper yell voice, eyes akin to saucers. “But-“ you tried to say something, but it died in your throat before anything else could come out. Your face dropped a little, dejected.

“If you wanna keep her, the vet said it wouldn’t be a problem.” He offered you the peace of advice.

Yet, your downcast eyes seemed to lose their usual playful energy.

What the hell?

“I’m not allowed to own a pet.” You said, almost like the sentence was scripted. “Why not?” Baji asked casually. Though he appeared neutral, he could tell something was off. This might be his chance to infiltrate your exterior.

You glanced his way for only a moment, and he could see the gears turning in your head, filtering what you want to say, to what you will say. “My… parents are allergic.”

You were a good person. He knew this the moment he’d met you. And good people can’t lie for shit, through his experience. “Bullshit—-“ Baji caught himself just after the word slipped, snapping his hand over his mouth once he realized.

You looked up at him with confusion written on your face. “I-I mean, sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come off that way.” He shook his head in defeat. “You ain’t a good liar though, y/n.”

Shifting your eyes downcast again, this time you masked your true face behind a giggle. “Can’t say I didn’t try. It’s not important.” You shook your head, and before Baji could interject, you had already recollected yourself and shifted the attention elsewhere.

“Im on dinner duty tonight, so I’ll go ahead first today.” You smiled brightly as you said this. You’d already handed him his promised juice box. But your smile was fake. You were definitely a bad liar.

“If ya say so. Wait up a sec, ‘ll walk you home,” While Baji worded it as a statement, an order almost, you didn’t take it that way.

“No worries! I can manage.”

Again, before he could intervene, you took off at a brisk pace. Damnit.

Keisuke was trying to be patient with you. But it wasn’t in his nature. “The hell’s her problem?” He whispered with a click of his tongue, before throwing all his shit in his bag and jogging to catch up with you.

But even as he scanned the hallways and school grounds like a hawk, you weren’t to be found. Were you really that quick? No way. Regardless, he did have a Toman meeting. So, after some hesitation, he let the unsettling feeling behind at the school.

He couldn’t know that you’d ducked into an empty classroom and were huddled with your knees to your chest as you stared off into nothing.



#tokyo revengers #Tokyo rev #tokyo revengers x reader #baji keisuke #baji #Keisuke baji #keisuke baji x reader #baji x reader #nerd!baji

[rrenzwrld]

isn’t she lovely?

eren x pregnant! black reader

— the birth of his daughter becomes one of the best days he’s ever lived.

another bs from my notes but i like this concept so i will be adding to it whenever i can

— what to expect, when you’re expecting

Eren spent majority of his life worrying about nobody but himself and what was important to him. For a while, the life of no one else had no meaning if it wasn’t the life himself or the lives of the only two friends he had. That was until he met you. You came into his life all pretty and positive. Not a negative thing about you and he loved that. And that alone made him love everything else about you. Regardless of how you were feeling or what either of you were feeling, you always made sure that no one was upset and you made it your responsibility to have everyone else taken care of before yourself. It was as if you were this magical being sent down to make his life significantly better and he planned to keep you in it.

You were only in his life for two short years until you became pregnant. While Eren freaked out and thought this would ruin both of your lives, you were as happy as you could be. Even though the both of you were fresh into your 20s, your dream of being a mother was strong. From the little age of five playing with small baby dolls, to volunteering to babysit your neighborhood’s children, you were finally at a place in life where you were able to have a child of your own. A real child. A real child with your blood running through their veins and you knew without a doubt that part of them would belong to you.

Eren on the other hand had to figure out a way to tell his parents without disappointing them along with disappointing himself even more than he had.

“My dad is gonna fucking kill me.” He ran his hands through his hair before dragging them back down his face. You rested your head on his shoulder and held onto his arm.

“No he’s not. You’re overreacting.”

“This is a whole baby we’re talking about, Y/n… there’s no way we’ll be able to do this.” His discouragement offended you.

“Well, you can leave,” You started. He turned to you like you said something off the wall.

“What? No, no I’m not leaving so… that’s out of the question.” It made you smile a bit that he wasn’t thinking about leaving you to take care of the baby by yourself. But you had enough spirit to know that you were perfectly capable with or without him.

“We’re not getting rid of her either.” You placed a hand on your belly even though nothing had yet formed to know that you did.

“Her?”

“Yeah, her.” You looked at him and smiled. You kind of hoped your baby would have his eyes… You loved his eyes.

“How do you know it’s a girl?” He raised a brow at you as he took your hand and interlocked his fingers with yours. He was still nervous about having a child at such a young age but if he had anyone else to pick in the world to start his family with, he’d choose you. He’d choose you a thousand times over.

You shrugged. “I just know.”

Turns out, his parents weren’t nearly as angry as he expected them to be. They might have been a little shocked that their youngest son were growing up a lot faster than they expected, but they knew you’d be a wonderful mother and wasn’t at all disappointed that if he were to have a child with anyone, it was with you.

“So you’re not mad?”

“No, your mother and I aren’t mad,” Grisha started.

“Just make sure you take good care of Y/n.” The fact that his mother felt so positively towards you made you happy. There was nothing like a mother’s love, from anywhere, to anywhere, through and through.

“Thank you for your support, Mr. Yaeger.”

After dinner that night, Eren was helping his father with the dishes when more discussion about the pregnancy came up.

“You sure you ready?” Eren didn’t know what to tell his dad now that they were alone to talk about it. “Be honest.”

“No.” Eren put away the dry dishes.

“And why?”

“I’m just, I just don’t think I’m ready to be a dad. And I hate that because I know Y/n will be an amazing mom and I’ll just… suck.”

“You think I knew how to be a dad the day you were born? Hell no. I was terrible. Didn’t even know how to change your diapers until you were six months.” Eren laughed a bit, making him feel better. Making him feel like he wasn’t alone and his fears were validated.

“That does sound pretty bad…”

Grisha scoffed. “And it gets worse… but listen, you’ll be fine.” Grisha dried his hands after the last of the plates to give his full attention to his son. “You’ll learn everything you need to along the way and if you need help, just call us. Alright?”

Eren nodded in understanding. He knew raising a child would be a difficult task but maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. Maybe they’d be better off than expected.

#aot #eren #aot eren #black reader #pregnancy #eren x reader #eren x black yn

[anjelicawrites]

Keep reading

Paring: Aemond Targaryen x wife!reader

Synopsis: Aemond is being a little shit, his lady wife is done with him. Fill for the prompt “Ugh,baby, I cant- please…” from this prompt list. 

Warnings: blowjob. Wife is older than Aemond but her age is not stated. If you are a minor kindly fuck off. Smut is still going to be here for you to read, but I will not go to prison. Thanks! :)

Aemond is usually extremely mature, most of the time he acts too old for his age; in comparison you, who are older than him, but have always had a bubbly and cheerful disposition, appear to be younger. 

Even behind closed doors your husband acts older than the twenty years old lad that he is. During the first period of your wedding, which had been obviously orchestrated by your two families, he was shy and aloof while you tried your best to make him feel welcomed, even though you didn't know if you would be able to manage a life with him since your engagement had been short and you had met him only once without a real chance to speak with him.

Aemond had been nothing but a gentleman during the whole marriage ceremony and made love to you slowly and gently, a bit clumsily as well, since neither of you had an idea of what you were doing. Even then, when your noses were a hindrance during your kisses, elbows flying everywhere and what? you get cramps during sex?  he didn't laugh. He managed to keep a stern face, while you tried not to giggle and ruin whatever mood you two had managed to create. 

After weeks of painfully slow acquaintance (Aemond’s stiffness didn’t help), you had reached the conclusion that Aemond was a young man with a cunning intelligence, a big heart and a thick wall between himself and the world around him to protect himself from the courtly life of King's Landing. But you liked him and understood that he needed time to show his true colors and decided to give him the space and time. 

He thought your brain worked in mysterious ways, not in the chauvinist sense that women are too different from men to understand, but meaning that he couldn’t always get the twists and turns your mind did to get to a conclusion. That kept him on his toes, but fascinated him at the same time. Your sharp tongue and painfully bright mind made him think his mother had wisely chosen him a good match. Your interest in history gave him something to talk about: he had been afraid you two had nothing in common and was paralyzed by the idea of having to endure a life made of social events and no communication behind closed doors.

He had quickly realized you were trustworthy and loyal, ready to put an united front when in court, all qualities not so easy to find in any daughter of the houses of the Seven Kingdoms. 

You would randomly tell him things about yourself, facts that any other lady would never confess, even under duress but you, in your frank and honest ways, didn’t mind sharing with him, like the fact you had almost ran away with the circus when you were a wee lass and your parents had kept you under strict lock and key up until your wedding day. 

"Would you still go, given the chance?" He had asked you, not surprised by your confession

You told him the truth, that you are too old to pull that kind of stunt, but who knows, if you’ll ever get bored of being a princess, you might just decide to try again. His response was an amused “Hmm” and the request not to do such a thing, or he’d have to send an army after yours truly. You promised you’ll leave him clues, little crumbs for Vhagar to follow. Aemond laughed briefly, surprising you. It is after conversations like this one, that he had let his guard down for you, slowly slowly and gently gently, letting you in, permitting you to discover sides of him he had thought long dead.  

Are you straying from your line of thought? Probably. What were you saying? Ah yes, Aemond is far too mature for his age but sometimes he manages to act like the annoying young man he had never had the chance to be, like he is doing now. 

 It's a slow night. The two of you had dinner alone in your rooms and just the fact that you two didn't have to deal with the political intricacies for a night, had put Aemond in a good mood. Sitting by the fire to read your respective books made him relax; granted, he hasn't lost the broom in his back you are sure he had swallowed when he was a wee lad, but for his standards Aemond is relaxed: he has lost the eyepatch after the servants left for the night, his shirt is partially unbuttoned and his legs are splayed open. The problem is the history book he is reading from; to be more precise, the author Aemond loves and you despise with all your heart. 

Aemond knows this; you have spent more than one night debating about the conceited asshole, your husband defending him and you stating your criticism eloquently and vehemently (Aemond might have started falling for you because of your brilliance. He is not admitting this to himself, so shush!). But tonight your husband thinks it is funny to read random passages out loud, while you are trying to concentrate on your book. 

As previously stated, when Aemond is in a good mood, sometimes he lets his annoying teenager self surface, and the little shit just loves to get a rise out of you; tonight the young asshole even expects you to grumble and go on a tirade, but you are in a pecurial mood yourself tonight. 

Your lord husband wants to read out loud disturbing you? He'll do that to his heart's content. 

You close your book delicately and rise to your feet. Aemond notices your movements without really seeing them. To his trained eye you are not a threat, you are his lady wife who is going to stroke the flames and then go back to her plush armchair; his brain doesn't register you kneeling between his splayed legs until your hands are on his breeches and your are opening the latches. 

"Keep reading" you say freeing his cock

 "What are you doing?" His left hand grabs the armrest while he adjusts himself on the armchair, a hiss escaping his mouth the moment you lazily stroke his cock. 

 "What does it look like, husband of mine? For someone so smart, sometimes you are as dense as a wall of brick" you say and lick the head. 

 Aemond hisses again and his hips move on their own accord, but you stop the movement with a firm hand on his hips

 “Here’s the rules - you say while lightly caressing his cock with the tip of a finger - you keep reading, I keep pleasuring you. You stop, I stop” 

 The black of the iris has already devoured the lilac and his breath is shorter than before. Oh, the power you have on the man who rides the bigger dragon in the Seven Kingdoms: you are not really stroking his cock and he is already painfully hard and ready to go.

 From the way his jaw sets, you know he has accepted your challenge, but his hands are shaking on the leather cover of the book. He tries to school his voice as your hand wraps firmly around his cock and your tongue darts to lick the tip. 

With a firm movement you position his cock so that you can start licking from the base up, long strokes using the flat of your tongue, again and again, until you decide to slowly, oh so slowly, take him into your mouth: you want him to feel every inch of his cock being sucked and worshiped. You can hear him reading on, his voice still controlled but some moans are definitely there and you redouble your efforts sucking your cheeks in to create more friction. This seems to do the trick as he grabs the book tight and lets out a long moan of pleasure, and doesn’t continue with the task, so you stop and stare innocently at him who is bent over, eye closed and breath short. You delicately push him backwards, until is back is again against the plush chair, the way he stares at you would make another person run away in terror, you just laugh in his face and grip his balls gently

 “I’ll make you pay for this” he spits out

“I don’t think your beloved author has written this - you smile and give his head quick kitten lick - you brought this upon yourself, valzȳrys”.

 Aemond grits his teeth and starts again, but this time his voice is not as controlled as before, it breaks with every stroke of your hand and every lick of your tongue. You eye him from your position and you see the white-knuckle hold he has on the old tome and decide to finish him off. You slowly gather him again in your mouth, cheeks hollowing, until he meets the back of your throat; you keep him there, trying to control your gag reflex as he struggles to read on. When he seems to have gained a bit of command over himself, you swallow him down and he screams, his torso smacking violently against the seatback as you keep him there, massaging his shaft with your throat.

You have almost ran out of air when you hear him beg

 “Ugh,baby, I cant- please…” as you release his cock and he comes violently all over your face.

 The book lies long forgotten on the floor as he tries to regain his strength; you stare at him, licking away as much of his seed as your tongue can find. 

 “You shouldn’t have done that” he says as he tries to grab at you, but he is still so fazed that he slips on the floor and you easily straddle him, your hand around his throat, squeezing delicately

“You were saying?” you whisper against his lips as you feel his cock trying valiantly to react.

 Aemond puts one hand in your hair to push you down to his lips, to kiss you passionately.

 This was supposed to be a quiet night in, let’s all say goodbye to that.

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen

[lilxsturniolo1xx]

Its what i do.

pairing: Matt x Reader

Ive been ignoring matt for a few days now, not because hes done anything wrong or im annoyed at him, its actually the complete opposite. i found myself falling for him, but he cant know that, itll ruin him. ill ruin him. He doesnt deserve that, hence why ive ignored him, im pushing him away. Since i was a child i grew up in a rough household, one of which no one knew how to communicate, ending in screaming matches to get your point across. From a young age i have been degraded by my own family.

"no one wants you, not even us!" My dad used to say, his stone-cold eyes peircing deep into my soul as the venom of his words seep into my brain. replaying over and over again.

"your just not good enough." My mother would say, shrugging her shoulders and flicking the ash from her cigarette into my dads empty beer can.

After hearing that day in, day out, on repeat it does something to you. Well, it did something to me. It made me hate myself. Whenever someone tried to get close to me id shut them down, thinking it was a sick joke, as my mother said ' im just not good enough'.

So when i found out i had feelings for matt, i locked myself away. Scared of me slipping up infront of him just for him to tell me what ive been hearing my whole life, because with matt it felt different. I felt safe. So hearing them words come out of his mouth would've broke me. This is how i made sure i would never have to hear them.

Ive been hearing my phone go crazy all day, every time i check it, i see matts message popping up on my screen, i then shut my phone off to ignore him, somewhat scared of messaging him. until i finally have the courage to open the messages, and by this time, ive had 13 notifications. All from him.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Hes coming here, now! what do i do. panicked, i rushed and put some half-decent clothes on, and a slight bit of makeup to make me look less dead. As i sat on my bed, thoughts rushing through my brain as i twiddled my thumbs somewhat scared of even going on my phone, i heard three knocks on my front door. Matts here. Frozen, i just sat there and ignored the door hoping hed give up and go away. Then i remembered, hes got a fucking key!

i hear the twist of my lock and footsteps coming into my house, followed by my name being called. Once again, i ignore him.

Maybe he'll think no ones home and leave. i thought to myself, asif i didnt know Matt Sturniolo like the back of my hand.

He began walking up the stairs and i was still sat there, like a statue. I dont even know why i didnt just tell him to go away or something, my body wasnt moving despite how much i tried, i was stuck In some sort of trance, that was until i heard a rattle of my bedroom door handle.

a/n: Hey! sorry leaving you on a cliffhanger like this but it was getting way too long but pt2 will be out soon, i hope you like this one anyway😊xx

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo fic

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

fiona gallagher and debbie gallagher.

something i’ve noticed in the shameless fandom is that some (a lot of) people hate debbie and love fiona, and others hate fiona and love debbie. what honestly confuses me is why more people don’t love them both so much?

so, to start off- they both share three important things about their characters. grew up/matured far too quickly, constantly self-destruct, and are the only girls. these three things make it so that they’re more similar, but also make it so that they are always fighting with eachother and the fandom is always putting them against eachother.

in fiona’s case, she had no choice but to grow up too quickly. actually, that’s the case for every gallagher, but especially her, since she was first, and the second that lip was born (when she was 5) she became a mother. she had no choice, it was either raise her siblings, or let them die. she further started self-destructing by having sex at a young age, and once she started doing that she did it frequently, to the point where she connected it to her worth. she got into toxic relationships, and jumped from relationship to relationship without every catching a break (that’s a direct quote from shameless) and throughout the show, fucks herself over whenever things are going well. for example, going on a bender while on probation. and, a lot of the people who hate her (irl and in the show) are misogynist’s or people who don’t bother to understand her well enough to hate her.

in debbie’s case, she grew up too fast also not by choice, except there came a point where she started to mature quicker on purpose when she no longer needed to act 23 at 13. one of her first lines is, “you’re almost nine, carl. you’re going to need to start pulling your weight.” she’s a year older than him so clearly she has already done her part and stepped up, and throughout the first two seasons you see her acting so mature, yet so childish. she goes from kidnapping a child to innocently playing with a baby doll and naming her “gin-gin”. then, there comes a point where fiona has taken legal guardianship of the kids, and has a good job. she has an opportunity to relax, but she doesn’t. debbie is traumatized, and abandoned, and scared, so she confides in the comfort she’s seen work for her older sister, older guys. she dresses a certain way, sleeps with a twenty year old guy (whatever your thoughts are on that situation doesn’t matter in this case), and ends up getting herself pregnant and carrying the child to term. this is all pure self-destruction. then she continues to self-destruct, ruining friendship’s, relationship’s, even her bond with her family members. all of her hurt and trauma from childhood led her straight into the depths of hell. and what’s one of the major reasons she’s hated in the show and in real life? you guessed it! because she’s a woman. and like her sister, another reason she’s hated is because people refuse to read into her character and only see what’s on the surface.

fiona and debbie are two hurt girls who didn’t recieve enough love and so they self-destructed. but, do you want to know the most ironic thing? that’s what every single gallagher ever has done.

frank is a drunk and a drug addict who never bothered to attempt to recover, even when it was for his kids, and even when it was for himself.

lip is an alcoholic who has purposefully ruined his relationships and his schooling just because. he, unlike his father, has tried to recover, but fails.

ian also ruins his relationships to destruct himself, and like his sisters, starting having sex with older guys at a young age. we even see him burn himself “just to feel something”. in ian’s case, though, he gets a happy ending. not everybody really gets that.

carl doesn’t self-destruct as much, but at one point with kelly, he did. he gave up on west point, he gave up on becoming a cop, he gave up on everything and just decided to work at fast food until the alcoholism, substance abuse, and mental illness came to him.

liam honestly didn’t get the time to destruct himself… he was so young throughout the entire show. however, there was that part where he found this potential family for him that were all black and related to monica, and he felt seen by them. but then he robbed them all and ruined it. i’m not sure this really counts as much, though.

but the boys never get as much criticism, because why would they. they’re boys.

fiona and debbie should feel more connected. when fiona leaves, debbie takes on her role and tries to hold everything together, but instead, everything falls apart. debbie has really always wanted to be like fiona, and i always see people on tiktok saying “debbie’s really trying to be fiona💀” and shit, but it’s honestly true, she is like her. just not in the best ways.

anyways, that’s my rant. i have more to say but this is all that’s really important.

#shameless #shameless us #shameless rant #shameless analysis #character analysis #shameless meta #fiona gallagher #debbie gallagher #frank gallagher #lip gallagher #ian gallagher #carl gallagher #liam gallagher shameless #i also mean NO HARM to the boys (except frank) i’m just saying #feminism #i know that nobody will read this entire thing lmao #i just have a lot to say #franny gallagher

[dat-town]

love to hate you

Characters: rich boy!Chenle & female reader

Setting & genre: (one-sided) childhood ‘enemies’ to academic rivals (idiots) to lovers, college au

Summary: It was hate at first sight.

Warnings: petty arguments (MC and Chenle make everything a competition), prejudices against people based on their financial background, swear words, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of past bullying, probably inaccurate descriptions of Shanghainese college life

Words: 11.6k

Author’s note: inspired by this prompt. for @lily-blue (you haven’t guessed him, right?) <3

Love at first sight? Fuck that. It was hate at first sight.

You first met Zhong Chenle in kindergarten at the tender age of four. He was the new kid – ‘your new playmate’ as the teachers had previously told you – yet he was walking around as if he owned the place. In retrospect, you shouldn’t have been surprised since his father indeed owned the literal building in which the kindergarten resided in but four-year-old you had no idea and were pissed at this charming little kid stealing your friends with his cool games and offers of sleepovers at his home – which had an indoor pool, an arcade, a home cinema and everything one could image, so no wonder the other kids turned star-eyed at such an opportunity. Not that you weren't invited. Zhong Chenle’s mother invited everyone from your group, if not the entire children population of the kindergarten, to her son’s 5th birthday. Chenle was friends with basically everyone or rather everyone seemed to be friends with him, everyone but you. Because by the first time you two interacted, he had already befriended Jiayun who then pointed at you with that snarky little tilt of his mouth, a grimace you had already known, and said:

“Let her be. She’s weird. She doesn’t have a father and her family is poor.”

Children can be hurtful with their words and actions without knowing or meaning to. Children also have no perspective of rich and poor within the walls of the kindergarten, so later you realized he could have only said such a thing if he had heard it from adults, probably his parents, and it had been his parents too who had brought him up to be selfish and to keep his friends to himself.

But it was Chenle who had seen you for the first time then and looked at you with pity in his big brown eyes already. You felt your lower lip tremble, you didn’t want anyone’s pity, much less someone’s who didn’t even know you. You were such a child but a proud one, so you didn’t want to be friends with somebody who looked at you like that. You aren’t a charity case despite your family background or whatever you believed he thought about it back then.

“As if I wanted to play with you. You are gross,” you threw whatever you had in your hands, some kind of toy probably, at the two boys without thinking.

You, daughter of an industry worker, were scolded later by the kindergarten teacher for hurting the oh so sweet Chenle, son of a businessman and Jiayun, son of a doctor. Your mother was called in too, for a reminder that you were only in this prestigious institution because of the childcare program of her workplace. Later, you learned that it had been a warning. Like everything when it came to Zhong Chenle and his kind.

After kindergarten, your paths took different turns and you forgot about the young boy with manic laughter and schedule full of piano lessons, horse riding practice and other stuff your mom used to call ‘crazy rich bullshit’. But then Zhong Chenle walked into your Introduction to Economics class during your first year of university at Shanghai's best business school and once again, he was there to ruin it all.

You tried to be the bigger person at first, trying to treat him like every other classmate but what actually pissed you off is that he didn't even seem to remember you. Oh sure, you were just a speck of dust among diamonds in someone like Zhong Chenle's life, someone insignificant, easy to forget. Sure, there might have been ten or so kids in the group, it might have been only 2 years what you had spent together and it might have been over 12 years since. Logically, you knew you shouldn't have blamed him, at least not him alone but it was hard not to when his appearance had turned your simple, idyllic childhood upside down. There he was forgetting you like one forgets boring lyrics while you, on the other hand, spent your entire life working your ass off to prove that it didn't matter: that maybe your mother raised you alone, maybe you could never afford to go to vacations abroad but you were dead set on leading a successful life, so people like him who were born with the silver spoon wouldn't look at you with pity. So you studied hard, became the best student in your classes and later class president, worked multiple part-time jobs to afford after-school academy to not burden your mother who had been already working hard to afford a good high school after you passed the placement test, you then graduated with flying colours to earn a scholarship at one of the most prestigious institutes of Shanghai, if not entire China.

Hence, if the golden boy ever just acknowledged your presence with something akin to recognition, you might have just noted that he at least remembered how much he had ruined your joyful kindergarten days and you would have been able to forgive him. You had been just kids after all, he acted the same way he had been taught at home, he hadn't known better. But he didn't spare you a second glance, not even after your name was called during the first, second, third attendance check. Him lacking care just proved what you had already believed yet, it made you furious and fury made you more competitive than ever. Suddenly, you didn't care about being the top of every class, every debate and every competition possible, you just needed to be better than Zhong Chenle.

Being better than Zhong Chenle however wasn't an easy thing to do. He was annoyingly smart, quick-witted, his charms (if not his family's money) got every professor by his side and he lied through a smile.

You kept reminding yourself that it wasn't high school anymore but the way girls turned after him, whispering behind his back and blushed whenever he looked their way made it feel like it. And he wasn't even the typical Chinese definition of handsome. He didn't have sharp enough features, thin enough face, or a high enough nose bridge. Instead, he had smooth lines, plump lips and a big head. His ego must not have fit in smaller, you thought pettily. In your memories he was a scrawny kid with short, dark hair and cheeks that puffed out when he smiled. That was still the same even though he had grown taller, his shoulders had gotten wider and he had dyed his hair a pastel colour. He wore designer clothes, an Apple Watch and carried fancy bags while walking around with confidence. The same arrogance you had hated before you could name it.

But the most Zhong Chenle thing about him was his eyes: cheerful on the surface but sharp underneath, cutting and arrogant, full of pity as he looked at you when you got a point less on a case study analysis. It was the third time in a row. You made a show out of burning a hole into his skull while the professor was busy reciting an ode about how profound and high-level his deduction skills were. He just smirked at you.

"Don't be so sad, sweetheart, you can do better next time," he said when he passed by you in the corridors later, his wink irking you a lot. He made you feel like high school all over again: childish and competitive.

The first time you saw him outside of the classroom environment, it was at a university party in your second year during Qingming Festival and he had a wide, starry eyed, taller boy under his wings.

It didn’t surprise you because Chenle had many friends at university, too, that hadn’t seemed to change since his kindergarten days. Whether it was his own charm or his family’s money however, it was hard to tell. You didn’t even care, you didn’t want to do anything with him. Being in one kindergarten group was one thing but university must have been different, right? You tried to avoid him as much as you could. It must have been big enough for you two to not interact more than necessary, right? Wishful thinking because even at a party with dozens, if not hundreds, of people, he somehow ended up at your table where you were left alone by your friends. Shuhua was getting drinks and Yiren was on the dance floor with a boy she knew from her hometown, so you were by yourself, snacking peanuts and bobbing your head to the music when a body collided with the table and you looked up at a smiley, tipsy boy, followed by Zhong Chenle as if he was dog sitting a misbehaving puppy.

“Hi, I’m Mark, nice to meet you,” the former spoke up, his words accented, so you could tell Mandarin wasn’t his first language.

You glanced at Chenle, suspicious, wondering if it was some of the games of the wealthy ones to play with you but the wide eyed boy in front of you seemed harmless, at least to you, you wouldn’t have been sure about himself.

“He’s a Canadian exchange student. The Baijiu hit him hard,” Chenle clarified even though you didn’t ask. Although it explained the accent and why the lanky boy was behaving like that, you decided to ignore your classmate after switching to English and introducing yourself to Mark. In the meantime Chenle was busy making sure the over-zealous boy didn’t spill his drink but soon he gave up with a sigh because of the other’s unnecessarily big gestures, not that you cared, you just asked the exchange student if he was enjoying the party.

“Oh, man, it’s so good,” he grinned at you, obviously enthusiastic and very much chatty as he proceeded to tell about how he didn’t even know about this holiday but he was invited by someone called Renjun whom he lost after his first round of shots and that was how Chenle found him. It still didn’t explain why he walked up to your table to just talk but he was drunk, so maybe you shouldn’t have tried so hard to find an explanation.

“Are you here alone?” Mark blurted out, true wonders in his eyes as he asked and you were starting to think that this was the part where you would be hit on by a guy who wouldn’t even remember it the next day, but before you could have told him that no, you were with your friends, he continued. “Chenle thinks you are pretty.”

There was a beat of silence, at least it felt like it despite the too loud music playing from the speakers, as your gaze met the shorter boy’s. You didn’t know how to feel about the statement and about what it entailed because it would have been one thing for Zhong Chenle to think you were pretty (not that you needed his validation) but an entirely different thing to tell about it to others. What kind of prank was he trying to pull off? 

“I said ‘pretty annoying’, you idiot,” the boy in question clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes in annoyance as the English words rolled off his tongue. The whole situation made you snort. Of course, why would the university’s golden boy, who always placed ahead of you tests, have called you pretty, especially in front of a drunk exchange student who didn’t seem to shut his mouth?

“Talking about people’s backs? Calling me annoying doesn’t make it better either,” you retorted in your native language, not sure if Mark had good senses enough to detect the sarcasm in a language he didn’t know that well. You didn’t expect more from the likes of Zhong Chenle, rich boys only caring about the things they could afford. You went to enough prestigious institutions on scholarship and thanks to your mothers’ hard work to know the kind. It was just like in kindergarten: people with silver spoons were encouraged to avoid those who had grown up among weeds.

“I’m just honest. What do you want? A written apology? Don’t act almighty as if you didn’t badmouth me behind my back, too,” he remarked but he didn’t seem mad or annoyed, he said it matter-of-factly as if he was used to it. As if it was getting boring and you had to bite your tongue because you knew he was right: you did complain about him a lot to your friends. Every single time when he flashed that annoying smirk at you.

It was that moment when you realized that it was the first kind of proper conversation you had with him because you never talked with him in or outside of class and obviously you didn’t have heart-to-heart sessions in kindergarten either, especially after that incident with Jiayun. Yet, he managed to annoy the hell out of you like this, too. You sighed.

“What do you want? I have had enough of your games back in kindergarten,” you said pointedly and the way Chenle furrowed his eyebrows made it clear he was trying to wack his mind to figure out why you brought up such a young age and maybe it was a realization (finally?) or just pity but his eyes widened as he opened his mouth to speak. You never got to know what he wanted to say though.

“Guys, are you flirting or arguing? I really can’t tell,” Mark whined in English between the two of you, his balance kept only by the table’s steadiness and you couldn’t help but laugh at his cluelessness. Flirting? You and Chenle? It was ridiculous and seeing his expression, for once, the boy seemed to agree with you.

“Man, you are wasted,” he groaned, dragging out his syllables to show his irritance. “We’re leaving.”

He said it with such conviction that Mark had no chance objecting and you were kind of glad he did because you didn’t want to explain the two guys’ presence to Shuahua when she would get back with your drinks.

“Oh, and if you feel wronged and petty over something that happened a decade ago, try to find something better to obsess over, we are not kids anymore,” Chenle turned back to you with words cold like ice and a cutting tone which had you clench your jaw, not knowing how to answer because his claim felt both offensive (easy for him to say!) and right (no, you indeed weren’t kids anymore).

Mark waved you goodbye with a giddy grin but you just sat there with your leftover peanuts thinking: you just let Zhong Chenle walk over you and won once again. Admitting defeat hurt more than him calling you annoying or petty. You wouldn’t have cared about those if you had taught him a lesson just once about how it felt being on the sore losing side. Right?

Zhong Chenle's life was picture perfect.

He had grown up in a loving family as the second son of a successful businessman. He was an exception to China's one child policy because when you had money, such things didn't apply to you. Chenle had learned at a young age how much influence wealth had meant but for the longest time he didn't know what he had in his life – the dozens of gifts, the overseas island vacations, the buildings his father owned, the private piano lessons from genius pianists and all that – wasn't given to everyone. He had an apartment on his name in Shanghai at the ripe age of 18 as a birthday gift, he had a bank account full of money despite never working before, he had many friends just as influential and wealthy and he was on the top of his major at university. It sounded perfect, didn't it?

But nothing could be such a thing without at least a few drawbacks. What flaws a problem-free life could have one could ask but anybody in Chenle's shoes could tell them about how it's always about money with him. Whatever he did, people always asked about his family, his connections, his prestigious schools, his competitions, his future that might not have been decided for him but was expected of him anyways. Those damned expectations all the damn time. People rarely asked about him: what he liked, what he didn't, what he did just for fun or else they expected grandiose things like jet skiing in their private holiday house just because he could do so.

It was hard to make friends, true friends who didn't care about his wealth or had some other kind of interior motive because of his family. The boy had to learn the hard way that some people only befriended him to get into specific circles, to get into specific clubs, and some girls only dated him for expensive dates and gifts because he didn't care about price when it came to such things. At one point, he had thought that he would be better off with people in his class (whatever that ‘same class’ bullshit was he hated it but back then he hadn't known better) because they had less to gain with his closeness but he had to face the cruel truth that everybody wanted a piece of what they thought Zhong Chenle was. The wealthy might not want simply money but worse: they made a business deal out of everything, they put a price tag on his friendship or whatever they thought of it.

So Chenle had grown up to be a boy whose true attachment and care was hard to earn behind his goofy smiles and sparkling, always amused eyes. He always had people around him but he rarely had people at his, that place was only for the ones really close to him, the ones he really trusted, the ones who knew the real him. He could probably count the people who qualified the criteria on two hands: Qian Kun, his piano teacher who had known him for 10 years and whom he always teased with leading a boring life; Dong Sicheng, another big brother-like friend, son of one of his parents' friends; Huang Renjun from the facultative Art class he took in his first semester at university out of curiosity and who acted like he didn't give a shit about anything but was probably one of the most caring souls Chenle had ever met and for that he kept teasing him; Dejun and Yangyang, his online gaming bros who cared more about his scores than the amount of ¥ in his account, so he had already invited him over to play if they ever went to Shanghai; Mark Lee, the exchange student he had stumbled upon on campus and felt bad for because he had looked like a lost puppy and he was as harmless as one with his bright eyes at everything; and of course, Ning Yizhuo. his oldest friend to date and one of the most girly girls Chenle knew. They lived in the same neighborhood and attended the same elementary school and befriended at the age where kids made friends from one day to another only to forget them a week later yet they stuck together through thick and thin: Chenle was there for her when a boy broke her heart for the first time and she was there for him when he realized he had become just a paycheck for one of his best friends at the time. Many thought that at one point they would end up together but the boy couldn't imagine himself seeing her as anything but a cute little sister, especially not with how she was still reluctant to admit that he was better at PUBG after he had beaten her!

And then there was you.

Not as a friend, of course, god forbid! But if there were 1) the close friends, 2) the acquittances who might have thought they were casual friends and 3) the ones who wanted to take advantage of him, then there must have been another category, too: people who hated him not for who he was but for what he represented because there was no way you could have known him.

It wasn't his fault that he was born into a rich family, it wasn't his fault that he was loved by his parents and didn't turn out like an arrogant asshole, so if you wanted to hate him for something, you could have only rightfully done so because he worked harder. He didn't get his grades on a silver plate like he would get a job at his father's company or even a private jet. He actually studied hard to not disappoint but he wasn't particularly interested in business, so he found it dull and at one point, ironically you made it fun again. You with your pouts and eye rolls, you with your annoyed wrinkles between your eyebrows when he got the question right before you, you with your rivalry he didn't exactly understand where it had come from, not even after your comment at the Qingming party but at least he could be sure that you didn't want anything from him, so he went along with this, provoking you with his smug grins and cocky shrugs whenever he got better scores or faster answers than you. He found it cute when you were angry.

And oh how angry you must have been under the surface when Miss Xu handed over the application form for the national business case study competition.

"It would be great if the two of you could represent our universities. Your performance was outstanding in your tests and essays separately, so I'm sure you would be a very strong team in this competition. The application deadline is the end of semester and then we would have the entire summer break to prepare, so take your time thinking it through and get back to me if you have decided," she smiled at both of you politely but obviously hopeful.

Oh how fun, Chenle thought with an amused grin when the professor left to give you time and space for you to talk.

"I guess, we will be seeing each other a lot this summer. If you don’t act petty that is," he raised a brow challengingly at you as if your answer wasn't even a question. He had already known you couldn't back down, not from a competition even if it wasn't against him. He might not have known your reason for being so obsessed with being the best but he could understand the urge to say yes to challenges. Seeing through the cracks of your thick walls was one hell of a challenge after all and it had been a while he had as much fun as to see you suffer. He was already anticipating this summer.

You already hated this summer.

No, not because you couldn't laze around since you had a competition to prepare for but because you had to endure Zhong Chenle's almighty presence even during breaks. Sure, you could have said no, you could have avoided the whole situation altogether by telling Miss Xu that you didn't want to participate in this contest or simply that you weren't interested or didn't have time. But Chenle's last sentence irked you more than you would have liked to admit and there was no way you would let him think that you would run away or be more childish than he was, so applying it was.

At first, it only meant weekly meetings in your over-enthusiastic mentor's office room on the campus to discuss your findings about the case she had assigned to you the week before but it didn't take long for Miss Xu to put two and two together and realize that you and your teammate didn't interact outside of this practice at all. It was pretty evident that you didn't come to her as a team but individuals because you kept pointing out weak reasonings and faulty findings in each other's proposed solution. You started pity fights over matters of definitions or different interpretation of the text, about the importance of sustainability or company reputation, so no wonder even the young professor had enough at one point. You had it long coming if you wanted to be honest.

"You do realize that it isn't a competition between the two of you but you against other schools’ representatives, right? Will you keep arguing the whole time when you will have to solve the case assigned on the spot? You need to learn how to work together," Miss Xu reminded your duo while looking from one of you to the other. "It's good that you have different opinions and ideas but when the other shares them, don't just think about why it's not as good as yours but try to take it into consideration, too. You will have to agree on what to present as your final agreed solution at the competition after all."

For a long moment there was only silence following your quick, quiet apologies but then Chenle had to speak up and hit your nerves:

"I'm sorry for disappointing you, Miss Xu, it's just... she's impossible to work with."

"I'm impossible?? It was you who nitpicked on my perfectly viable proposition about the material shortage," you shrieked at which the boy rolled his eyes, already having his retort ready. But before he could have opened his mouth and blabber about nonsense, the professor intervened.

"Alright, you two, that's it for today," she sighed, looking through her papers to look for a new case to assign for your next session of practice while you folded your arms in front of your chest, refusing to look at the boy in the chair next to you. You didn't want to do anything with him in the next seven days until you had to meet up like this again. But you really weren't in the favor of Fortuna as it seemed. "Since you two get personal even when you shouldn't, your task for next week will be a bit different: analyze each other as if they were a case to solve. I want a page long, honest analysis from both of you and then I want you two to meet up and discuss your findings. Then write a paper about how your perception of the other has changed. I want both papers to be handed to me in two weeks and while I won't read these because it's your private business, I will know if you fill the paper with bullshit or skip out the meeting."

The new task rendered both of you speechless but you couldn't even protest because Miss Xu was already standing up and signaling you to pack up.

Walking out of her office with Chenle on your side had never felt so... nerve-wracking? Gosh, what kind of analysis it was! You shot the guy a resentful glance as if this punishment was all his fault and you saw the corner of his mouth twitch in what looked like amusement. Did he enjoy it? Or did he just enjoy your suffering? You genuinely couldn't tell and that was just one more proof that you didn't know him, but it didn't mean that you particularly wanted to. You came from two different worlds after all and your paths had already crossed each other more than they should have. There was no point in getting to know each other, not even for the sake of a competition but you weren't a rebellious student who could just ignore their teacher's words. You wondered if it simply wasn't the same for Chenle or he thought his charm could get him out of this as well because he left you without a word, without discussing anything about how you will meet up, as if it was just another boring case study the two of you took home to think over.  Maybe for him it was and his nonchalance annoyed you even more.

chenle: how's your diss rap going lol?

Your phone pinged with the new notification and looking at the sender, it was easy to figure out that Zhong Chenle looked you up on social media to be able to get in contact just two days before your deadline. You were actually surprised he did because you were already planning to let go of your pride and search for his contact info a day before you would have to hand in two papers out of which you were merely done with one. Even that was an overstatement: you had a list of qualities you didn't like in Zhong Chenle but after you wrote all that you felt a tad bit bad and added a few sentences about how he was indeed irritatingly smart and witty which the professors seemed to love in him. He also had this magnetic aura that drew in people. Your analysis was simple based on all that: he had grown up without much hardships and he had gotten used to getting whatever he wanted and things going the way he wanted, no wonder he became arrogant and oh so cocky. What more was there to say? Should you have pointed out that he looked down on people like you and how it probably hurt his pride that he had to be in a team with someone like you, someone coming from not even a middle class fractured family? So what if your hatred had come from kindergarten if it was well-founded?

you: you could say so. curious?

You texted back instead of wasting more time asking about how he got your WeChat info. Since you shared multiple classes together in the last two years, he could have easily found you through one of the group chats. And it didn't matter anyways.

chenle: let's send it to each other

you: didn't miss xu told us to meet up to discuss it?

chenle: does it look like i care? or do you want to cry in front of me?

You pressed your lips in a thin line at Chenle's obvious attempt at riling you up and you hated how easily he managed to do it despite you being aware of his antics.

you: fine. [Zhong Chenle Analysis.pdf sent]

chenle: [miss_perfectionist.pdf sent]

You rolled your eyes already seeing the title of the document before you opened it and met curt sentences about yourself. You braced yourself for all the offenses in the world because you knew Chenle's words could cut deep like a knife if he wanted to be harsh and then you started reading.

Miss Perfectionist as it says is someone who hates when things are not perfect or not going perfectly how she wishes. She hates being told that she's not right. She hates being in second place. Therefore, she hates me as I stand in the way of her perfect plans.

She's a hard worker but she blames the circumstances when things go wrong. She's petty and holds grudges for long and over small things, too. She's childish with her retorts and annoying when she acts all self-righteous. She's sensitive and insecure...

You stopped reading. Okay, what else did you expect from him of all people?

chenle: why am i not surprised that you think i'm a heartless snob? Chenle's text came but you couldn't tell if he found the situation humorous in an ironic way or if he was just as bitter as you. Not that you cared too much as you typed out your reply:

you: oh because you know sensitive and insecure little old me so well apparently

chenle: you aren't exactly disproving my points with your behavior now

You clicked your tongue during a grimace. As if you had anything to prove, you didn't owe him explanations just because of this assignment.

you: aren't i? or are you just used to things always going your way?

chenle: you really think i have everything, huh?

you: well, prove me wrong

chenle: challenge accepted,

He replied right away but you left him on read.

What else could you have said? Not to mention this discussion was not at all helpful, as both of you seemed unapologetic about your behaviors, there was no way your perceptions would change, not enough to write another few hundreds words on the topic. You groaned into your pillow in annoyance and stood up to get yourself ice cream to fight both the heat and the fight-or-flight reflex you had whenever the boy danced on your nerves. But your phone buzzed again before you could have left your room, so with a sigh you checked the series of texts you have gotten.

chenle: [location shared]

chenle: be there by 6m

chenle: oh and dress pretty

Hah, as if. You snorted and threw your phone onto your bed, heading to the kitchen in your homey shorts and top. You didn’t plan on going out, much less for him.

Zhong Chenle stood in the middle of the garden in his loose Saint Laurent shirt, nursing a glass of champagne and he kept glancing towards the rose-laced entrance. He didn't particularly like to play dress up but he also understood that these kinds of events were important for his parents, so he did his best to doll up in order to repay them for the endless support he had gotten from them over the years. Because unlike many heir kids, he wasn't forced into studying business and following his brother's footstep nor he was expected to show up at blind dates, so he could marry a pretty girl from an equally wealthy family to provide the picture perfect image of their family. He studied business because he didn't know what else to do and because analysis and numbers were something he had always been good at. He planned to work for the company not because it was easy or because he was expected to but because he had seen too much of what happened at conglomerates and he didn't want to accidentally get into a dirty business somewhere else causing trouble for his own family. And the girls he dated, he was actually interested in them, even if briefly. So no, his parents never forced him to do anything and not because he wasn't the first child of the family but because they actually treated him like their son and not just another asset.

And that Chenle had had enough of being treated like early on.

So from time to time, when he showed up at these parties of rich circles, he smiled politely at everyone who commented on how much he had grown even though he hadn't become taller in years or told them about his studies and over-the-top marks on his Gaokao exam even though he was bored with the same old questions. But just because he did so while he was wearing a dress shirt instead of his usual casual tees and styled his hair for once, he wasn't less of himself. Because if Zhong Chenle was a firm believer of something, it was that he wanted to control his own life by his own decisions even if he made stupid mistakes.

"Bored already?" Someone singsonged as he was nudged in the shoulder and turning towards the familiar voice, he faced Yizhuo's blinding smile. She looked like a princess in her silver, flowery dress, perfect for summer and while the boy would have never told her face-to-face (not without exceptional circumstances!), she was the prettiest without any glamour like this, the most vibrant too.

"You have no idea," Chenle sighed with a little dramatic grimace in the corner of his mouth which earned an amused chuckle from the girl who he swore must have lived to have fun at his struggling. Because unlike him, Yizhuo actually liked socializing at events like this. She liked flirting with boys who could never get her and she liked engaging in the latest celebrity gossip with the other girls. Whenever the boy called her out on being a bit too much at these events, she just shrugged and told him that it was just playing a role and she was doing a better job at it than him with his resting bitch face as she liked to point out.

"Entertain me then. How much?" she asked, stealing his glass and sipping on the sweet champagne.

There was a pause. Chenle wondered if he should have told her about the most recent mistake he made or if he should have let her figure it out. Maybe he could keep it (his momentary weakness) as his dirty little secret, maybe he should have...

"I invited Miss Perfectionist to the party," he blurted out anyways, without thinking because he needed someone else to tell him what he had already known: that it was stupid.

"You did what? For real?" Yizhuo's eyes widened in surprise and she immediately turned her head to look around in the tender green garden among blooming petunias and guests in fancy clothes. "Is she here? You have to introduce us!"

"I dunno, I don't think so and I don't think she will come at all," the boy shrugged knowing it all too well that it was just an impulse decision to text you that. He'd just had enough of you acting like you knew better when you didn't know him at all.

Chenle told himself he didn’t really care if you were coming or not. If you liked your delusions so much, who was he to break down reality for you? If you wanted to paint him like a villain, he could easily become one. Just for you.

You two had been dancing around each other for a year and half, making assumptions, competing even when it wasn't a competition. He didn't know your reasons but at first he found your behaviour amusing. Lately, he had rather started finding it a little annoying, so when you poked, he made sure to poke back.

"Too bad. I would like to get to know the girl who manages to get these reactions out of you," Yizhuo hummed behind the edge of the glass and clicked her tongue at Chenle's eye roll. "For real! Do you even notice how much you talk about her? She almost had me at the Economics test today! She has this weird habit of twirling her hair while thinking, like who does that?"

"I don't even sound like that!" The boy protested and not having a better comeback (an extremely rare occasion because Zhong Chenle's wits always had a suitable retort!), he plucked the now almost empty glass out of his friend's hands. "And get your own champagne."

Yizhuo's content smile was beautifully threatening as she tilted her head.

"And you, get your girl," she nodded towards the entrance of the garden. Chenle faked nonchalance as he slowly turned around and he swore under his nose when he saw you. He should have known better than to show your profile picture to someone like Ning Yizhuo. Of course, she would use it against him. Because now he had no excuse to not walk up to you. He had invited you after all. Shit.

You had no idea what you were doing at a place like this.

After Chenle texted you about the location and time, you tried not to think about it but then ended up searching on Weibo if it was the kind of event you should have known of and when you got to know that it was a charity 'picnic' to help underprivileged families provide better education for their kids, you couldn't not attend with your curiosity leading you. That and because both Yiren and Shuhua would have been so disappointed if you just ignored an invitation like this. And while you didn't wish to entertain Chenle's bossiness or society's conventions against women by following his almost orders, you did dress up 'pretty' or at least a bit more elegantly than you did for classes or your part-time jobs. You weren't sure exactly how fancy this event would be but you didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb. Mixing with the crowd was the best way to not get noticed and that was what you were aiming for as you walked up to the entrance of the gorgeous garden full of flowers and waiters running around among the guests. It looked nice but you weren't exactly sure how much of it was for actual charity and how much for the show. What did people do at such places anyway?

"Can I help you, Miss?" A man dressed in all black with a stern face walked up to you and you gulped anxiously. Were you supposed to have an invitation? Should you have been on a list of special people only to be there? Was Zhong Chenle pulling a major prank on you just to prove that he was indeed a jerk? Was he–

"She's with me," an annoyingly familiar voice spoke up by your side and you bit into your lower lip, stopping your thoughts from going haywire. Okay, so maybe he wasn't trying to humiliate you in front of a bunch of rich people, at least not like this, you noted as the bodyguard walked off and you turned to the boy. Oh, he looked differently from how he usually did as well, now he was more... tidied up? No messy locks, no shirt sleeves rolled up or buttons left unbuttoned. He looked more mature and unapproachable as he usually did.

"Am I your plus one now?" You asked him instead of thanking him for the intervention. You didn't like the idea of belonging to anyone but yourself but luckily Chenle didn't think you owed him anything for such a thing just because he invited you and you decided to come.

"No," he rolled his eyes with a snort as if the idea itself was ridiculous. Then he glanced away and shrugged. "You just looked a little lost there."

"What a gentleman," you remarked, tone full of irony but only because you didn't know what else you could have said. It was actually kind of him but at the same time you wouldn’t have been in this situation if he hadn’t invited you.

"Don't push it," he said it as a warning and you didn't keep questioning his mannerism. Instead you let him lead you farther from the rose-adorned entrance and get you both a glass of alcohol each as he briefly explained what kind of event this was. He didn't need to point out that his family was one of the regular donors and he was there to represent the Zhongs, your deduction skills were good enough to put two and two together.

"Shouldn't you be busy mingling with your rich friends then, instead of me?" you asked and if you wanted to be really honest, it was coming from your sense of inferiority rather than because you'd had enough of his company. You didn't think you were less than his 'rich friends' but you did envy them because unlike you, they looked like they fit into a crowd like this. Like that pretty girl in a frothy dress talking with two tall, lanky boys a bit older than all three of you not too far from you. She looked like she was born to be the star at events like this while you felt like an ugly duckling in your own dress and home-made makeup and hair.

Your concerns and feelings weren't invalid even if Chenle scoffed nor just because you were glad he did. So he didn't care what others might have thought of him because he was being seen with you? It was a relief you didn't know you needed to bear.

"If you really think that I would do that, why did you come at all?" The boy questioned, pointedly, and he had every right to be confused. You weren't sure why you really came: was it the charity, was it the possibility of your friends' nagging or was it because you were curious whether he could prove you wrong? You had no idea, so no, you weren't going to tell him that.

"Why did you invite me?" You threw back the ball to his court.

"Touché," Chenle grimaced but there was something akin to amusement in the corner of his mouth. He took a sip from his drink before adding: "I don't keep company to show off, so I don't care about them being rich or whatever, just that they're being real about themselves."

At first you didn't understand what he meant by it but within the next hour your duo was approached by multiple people, all of them asking about his father's business and asking for favours without actually asking. Barely any of them acknowledged your presence as if you were a pretty accessory even if Chenle made sure to introduce you to the other guests and vica versa. You appreciated the sentiment because this way you didn't feel so lost even if you weren't particularly fond of the conversations themselves. Chenle didn't seem to like them either.

"... and she's a classmate from business school," he told about you to a nice-looking lady in her fifties when she asked Chenle how he was doing after noting that it had been quite some time since they had last talked and that it was such a pity that him and her youngest daughter had broken up. Oh, you never imagined him dating before but it made sense to the picture you had of him in your head that he would date a girl in these circles.

"That's fantastic. What are your parents doing for a living?" The lady turned to you, probably expecting that you were the daughter of some big shot businessman to attend a prestigious university like that. These people kept forgetting that scholarship opportunities existed for a reason and not only the rich could get higher education anymore. It baffled you for a bit and Chenle must have sensed your hesitance, so he decided to intervene to lessen the tension.

"Mrs. Lu, I don't think–"

"It's okay," you interrupted him because even if you appreciated the gesture, you were no damsel in distress. And most importantly you weren't ashamed of who you were. "My mother is an employee at a garment company and my father hasn't been around since I was young."

"Oh dear, that must be tough," the lady's face turned sour as if she bit into a lemon and pity was so obvious from her sweetened words that you could practically taste it.

It was that moment again, you thought: it was Jiayun and kindergarten all over again, just unlike kids, this woman didn't point out as straightforwardly that you didn't belong among them, that Chenle shouldn't have mingled with your kind. She just looked at you with those eyes, unsure how to keep the conversation up as if she lost any interest in you just because of your family background. She most probably did. But before you could have thrown hands (or anything) like you did when you had been 4 years old, the boy beside you spoke up:

"I know, right? But she even got into the university without having to bribe anyone!" He threw the random information out there casually and the lady's expression told you the untold side of the story: her family probably needed to pay extra to get their kid(s) into Shanghai Business School. You could have felt wronged because you didn't need to be defended but you knew that Chenle didn't do it for your sake only. He didn't treat you like a damsel in distress, he just wanted to call this woman out on her bullshit for his own entertainment, so you could barely suppress your amused smile when the lady excused herself and you exchanged a knowing glance with the boy.

You two weren't alone for long and you met so many people that you couldn't even remember half of their names. But there were so many fake people, so many shallow conversations, you started to understand what the boy meant by being real was what he mostly cared about. It was a rare thing to find that in these people or at least in this situation where everyone seemed to be counting debts and favours.

"Is it always like this?" you wondered aloud, stealing a glance at the boy beside you.

"Yeah, pretty much."

You hummed, wondering if you could do it in the long term.

"How do you do it?"

"I guess... you just get used to it after a while," he shrugged before flashing you a wide grin. "But at least there's free food."

You cracked up at that. It must have been true that no matter how wealthy one was, free food always tasted the best. Even if the food served at this event was too fancy for you to cease your hunger.

At one point, you had separated from Chenle and had an interesting talk about the education system with someone from the government. While you were away, the boy had found himself company in the person of the pretty, giddy girl you had seen before who waved in your direction with a bright smile.

"Is she your girlfriend?" you mouthed at Chenle quietly while the girl was busy with calling others to the table. The guy followed your gaze and laughed, loud and hard; he shook his head.

"Gosh, no. Come on, I'll introduce you to her, just promise me you won't believe anything she says or I'll regret this," he said and it had you raising eyebrows curiously right away. Oh, so she was that kind of acquaintance who had the most juicy stories. Good to know.

"Why? Does she have more embarrassing stories about you than me seeing you eating sand and snails in the sandpit of kindergarten?" you teased, this time genuinely and well-meaningly only for the sake of entertainment and not to offend. Nor did Chenle when he rolled his eyes.

"I take it back, you're worse," he sighed but you saw the smile in the corner of his mouth.

You spent the rest of the night laughing along with Yizhuo, Minghao and Junhui at some stories about Chenle who wasn't shy to get back at them. It was fun and it had nothing to do with who had how much money, so maybe you were wrong, maybe not everything was about that. Maybe Chenle could exist as an individual entity with his friends regardless of his financial background and he never implied you were less than then, he never pointed out your scholarship or part-time jobs, never made fun of your family issues in front of his usual circle. Whenever he wanted to poke you, he only called you out on your meticulous to-do lists, your nagging personality and tendency to disagree with him.

"Thanks," you blurted out once you were outside of the garden, hovering before leaving for the bus stop.

"For what? For opening a door for you?" Chenle blinked, trying to hide his genuine surprise with a joke. You couldn't blame him, it was most probably the first time you thanked him for anything since before your pride was always getting in the way.

"For not treating me differently," you admitted because it meant a lot to you. Your whole life you had been the one to stand out for the wrong reason. You could attend prestigious school because of your mother's job but you had always been the poor one who didn't share others' interests or lifestyle. You had been treated like dirt, like a pushover but if anything, Chenle had been treating you like an equal, worthy of competing with.

"Whatever," he shrugged, clearly not seeing why this was a big thing for you or he just didn't want to prolong this strangely sensitive moment of yours, so he quickly changed the topic. "I'll take you home,"

"You drank," you pointed out even though you knew he didn't drink much, just for the sake of it to have the last word, as if it was something to win. But this time you didn't take it bloodily seriously and found it amusing when Chenle rolled his eyes.

"Okay, let me rephrase that: let me call my family's driver to take you home before he takes me home," he offered once again, determined as always. It was tempting, the comfort of it, so you made a pondering noise. But the thing was, you didn't like to owe anyone and you weren't sure you were close enough friends to accept favours without returning them, so you didn't want to agree to that. Instead, you made it into a challenge:

"How do you feel about taking the bus?" you raised an eyebrow, teasing him about rich boy privileges with personal drivers and at the end of it somehow you managed to get The Zhong Chenle onto a public bus with you which was half full of not so decent, drunk people whom the boy openly judged with his stare. You will never forget this day.

In Chenle's humble opinion Miss Xu was a bit too happy about the progress of his and your team work after her unconventional task (which she never failed to bring up as a casual conversation starter like: what new did you learn about each other since last time?). Once you confessed that he wasn't as arrogant as you thought nor you were as rigid as he thought, he admitted, preparing for the case study competition seemed like a child's play for the two of you. The two of you challenged each other, could put together a nice list of arguments easily and researched more efficiently together. You stopped treating each other like rivals when you could just work together, so you started having coffee shop and library meetings to work on your homework from Miss Xu but you usually spent half the time with watching puppy videos on Chenle's phone, talking about your friends, the video games he would so beat you in and what you wanted to do after university. Yizhuo liked to remind him that it sounded like you started being friends, which he usually didn't comment on. He couldn't really deny it anyways after he invited you over for a hotpot.

It was a small get-together with a few of his close friends: Yizhuo, Renjun and you. A night with the familiar whine of Renjun's about his movie choice, Yizhuo's laughter at his suffering and you helping him out in the kitchen. You offered your help and while Chenle didn't exactly need it, he let you join him in his very professional kitchen because he had a feeling you just needed an excuse to not be stuck with Yizhuo and Renjun alone. The fact that you were more comfortable around him than around his friends stirred something in the boy's chest but he decided not to acknowledge it for the sake of his sanity.

"You are pretty good at this," you remarked suddenly, in the middle of washing some bok choy.

"At what? I'm pretty good at a lot of things," Chenle boasted with a smirk because he knew an answer like this would annoy you and he indeed laughed at your resigned sigh. He had always found it amusing when you were irritated over small things like this.

"At cooking, I mean," you pointed out the obvious, staring at the nicely cut onion pieces in front of him. It was easy to tell that it was a practiced skill which you couldn't master with years of cooking because your diced onions always looked like chunks.

"Of course, I am. I have lived alone since I was 18 and I don't have a personal chef nor can I live only on delivery food, so I learned it," he shrugged as if it was natural. You didn't think it was. You knew a lot of college students who ate out, had their food delivered or packed lunch boxes from home and they weren't as well off as Chenle. He didn't have to learn cooking but did it anyway and you appreciated it. Plus, guys who could cook were hot… Wait, what?! Forget that.

"Still, it's impressive. Take the compliment like a normal person would," you told him and even though he just laughed, you could see pride swelling in his chest. Maybe a bit of ego boost couldn't hurt from time to time.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, watching him prepare the spicy soup, you couldn't help but wonder though as you imagined him usually cooking for one person only: himself. You were too used to cooking for two with your mom, so you imagine it a bit… lonesome.

"Doesn't it get lonely? Living alone?"

Chenle looked up from the stove with a bit of amused surprise in his usually mischievous or stern brown eyes. He croaked an eyebrow and tilted his head to get a better look at you.

"Hah, you are probably the only one whose first reaction is this instead of claiming how cool it must be to have my own place so young," he said and you weren't too surprised to hear that. Sure, a part of you understood the envy of being independent and being well-off enough to be able to do so but at the same time, living alone required a lot more effort than living at home with all things included. It was a two-sided coin like everything, now you knew better than to judge too fast.

"When it does get lonely, I go and bother someone. Don't worry about me, it's not a good look on you," he added with a teasing edge to his sharp words and with a gentle flick of his fingers against your temple before turning back to the soup with an evident grin on his face. "Go, put the ingredients onto small plates instead!"

You stalled for a moment too long because looking at his smile – that you once thought annoying –, you realized that worry might not be a good look on you but happiness definitely suited him. Here, at his home, he was comfortable, unguarded and happy; and it was nice to see this side of Zhong Chenle, you decided.

"Yes, sir~" you saluted jokingly to keep the atmosphere light and playful instead of the corny and sentimental feelings that were budding inside of you. You took care of the ingredients and with the help of others, who were more familiar at Chenle's place, you set the table right before the chef of the day finished the base soup for the hotpot, ready to put it on the table to keep simmering it over the mini stove.

During dinner you argued about what to put into the hot pot, in what order and for how long, just usual hot pot debates. You laughed a lot and had so much fun that you didn't even mind losing the game of paper, rock, scissors that determined that you would do the dishes. Yizhuo even joined you willingly to dry the plates while the boys set the movie up afterwards on the 4K smart TV in the living room. You weren't sure you wanted to know what exactly went down there but you heard Renjun scream a swear word and Chenle laugh.

"You and Chenle got really close lately, hm?" Yizhuo nudged you on the arm with news-hungry sparkling eyes but... there was no news. It had been a few weeks since you had started spending more time together outside of the schoolroom environment, he had even managed to get you to play PUBG with him and now you were at his but would this be enough for 'really close'?

"I wouldn't call it 'really close' but we are on good terms now, I guess," you shrugged, trying to play it cool. You didn't want the girl to get any other ideas (But based on what? What were you afraid of if there was no reason for her to do so?)

"I mean, I know he isn't that heart-to-heart talk kind of guy. He's more like the kid on the playground who pulls on your pigtails to get your attention," Yizhuo chuckled to herself at the metaphor before leaning against the counter. You could feel her eyes on you but you focused on the pan in the sink instead. "You know he has a hard time letting new people get close to him. You probably noticed but he doesn't care about money, he basically throws it on anyone close to him whom he cares about but when people befriend or date him solely for that, well, that understandably leaves a scar. Even if he doesn't show. He might like to seem invincible but he is just human too."

Based on his experience with fake people at those parties and how important it was for him for others to be themselves you could understand where this came from, you just weren’t sure why Yizhuo was telling you all this.

“Is this a friendly warning to get out of his life if I’m one of those people?” you turned towards her, asking directly because you knew her as a straightforward person, not someone who would honey their opinion about such matters. She seemed like a good, loyal friend, like the type who would pour bleach into the shampoo of girls who broke her best friend's heart.

“Oh, please, we both know you aren’t. Chenle couldn’t shut up about how much you despised him before that party,” she said, crackling, obviously finding it funny. “It might just help you understand why he is like this.”

Like this meant being clingy during movie nights, it meant being whiny when he didn't get enough attention or being the shield between you and the tv screen after he teased the hell out of you for being scared while laughing loudly. But it also meant being caring when he brought your favourite latte from your usual coffee shop as a good luck token for the case competition, being protective when one of the other guys at the scene acted a bit out of line or calling you cute whenever you frowned at something he said. Being friends with Chenle was like him paying for all the fancy cocktails as a celebration after the successful end of the competition and then whining about how you should buy him French fries at McDonalds at 2AM. But being friends with Chenle was also damned butterflies in your stomach when he passed out over your shoulder on a bus loveseat. Fuck.

For someone as direct and unapologetic as Chenle, he was sure hard to read. But knowing how much he hated people who pretended and faked themselves around him, you knew you had to tell him about your realization before you started acting weird. He would have probably just taken it as an ego boost and would have teased you good-heartedly about how you couldn't resist his charms after all before rejecting you kindly. You could take that rejection, you could stay friends once it was out there and you could move on, you told yourself. You were sure Chenle wouldn't have made it weird by acting differently around you just because of your newfound or at least newly realized feelings, he must have had loads of admirers back in high school who brought him sweets on May 20th as a symbol of their crush, so he must have been used to this. Still, you wanted to give him and yourself space, so you could have an excuse to leave without feeling too awkward about it. That's why it was just you two on a 'study date' at a campus café now that the new semester had started.

Chenle tried to get the Stats homework right while slurping on his Americano loudly (gosh, it used to annoy you so much, now you found even this cute, what was wrong with you?) when you blurted out a question that had been bugging you ever since you met at Economics 101.

"You really don't remember me from kindergarten, do you?"

Chenle looked up from his notebook full of his chicken scratch with a questioning expression on his face as if asking 'seriously?' and he had every right to be confused about the reason behind your sudden question. But you didn't back down as you held his gaze.

"I have a shitty memory," he said eventually but it sounded like he weighed his options about what to say. But one thing was sure, he was genuine when he said he didn't remember and it wasn't something you could have held against him a decade later.

"Nah, actually I think it’s normal. It was just me being hyper fixated on you. Don't be cocky! I mean it,” you rolled your eyes when you saw him starting to smirk. You were trying to be serious, come on. “I don't remember most of the other kids either. But I remember you because I hated you."

Hate might have been a strong word for a child though but you sure blamed a lot on Chenle just because you could and your brain justified it even so many years later until you realize how silly it was.

"I had a guess," the boy laughed, clearly finding your enlightenment amusing and probably not understanding what you were trying to say with it.

"No, listen to me. I hated you like a kid hates the world just because she couldn't get her favorite candy. It was unreasonable and unfair to you, I blamed you for everything even though you just caused the ripple in the calm water. You weren't even the one who made me feel shitty about being poor. So I guess I still had this kind of mindset when we met again and it pissed me off even more that you didn't remember, which is once again ridiculous," you told him outright even though you hated admitting that you were wrong and based on his very first written analysis on you, you knew that Chenle knew it as well. Now all his attention was on you and you suddenly felt bashful under his sharp gaze but didn't stop. "And then I hated you even more because it wasn't as easy to hate you as it was in kindergarten."

"So you are saying that you don't actually hate me?" Chenle asked as if he was taking a guess, uncertain, which was so unlike him and maybe he had just as much of a hard time reading you as you had, so you spelled it out for him:

"I'm saying that I think I like you." A beat of pause, a beat of silence then a rushed addition in the usual cacophony of the coffee shop: "And I know it's stupid, we are so not compatible, we're barely frien–"

"Hah," the boy noted quietly, simply to interrupt you and his reaction made you stop on your track. That was it? You looked at him, bewildered.

"What?"

"You beat me to it," Chenle put a hand over his chest, dramatic, as if you scored best on a test instead of him. What a ridiculous reaction.

"It's not a competition," you reminded him, scolding instead of feeling victorious for being faster than him at something.

"Oh, everything is, sweetheart," he smiled at you devilishly and ruffled your hair playfully as if you didn't spend twenty minutes just to make sure it looked nice for once.

You just stared at him, stunned for a moment, before you let his earlier words process and your eyes widened.

“Wait, so… do you like me, too?”

“Whatever, don’t act too surprised. It’s not like I planned these disgustingly cheesy feelings,” he shrugged, looking back down on his Stats textbook before he looked back up with a shiteating grin on his face. "You know, it was a very weak confession though. I'm feeling generous, so I'm giving you a 5 out of 10. You can do better."

"Do better?!" you echoed in disbelief but barely able to stop smiling so hard that it hurt your cheeks. "What about you trying to do it better if you are so smug about it?"

"Oh, it will be a marvelous confession, you will be swept off your feet, you can be sure. Just wait for it," Chenle teased and the promise of it made you all giddy inside. You could barely concentrate on the numbers and calculations for the rest of your time in the store. Chenle with his bright smile, his funny laughter and feet nudging yours under the table was too distractive. Gosh, he was so annoying (fond).

Do you have that, too, when there's a new song that you found bad and annoying at first but the more it keeps popping up, you stop skipping it and after a while you end up just vibing to it in the kitchen? Well, falling in love with Chenle was like that: no smooth sailing on calm waters, no mutual attraction at first glance, but a slow, gradual process. Your feelings hadn't changed overnight, your perception of them did. Chenle had grown onto you over the summer or maybe even earlier but you wouldn't have changed it for the world. Because if he was a song, he would be your new favourite that you wished to listen to on repeat.

#nct x reader #nct dream x reader #chenle x reader #nct fluff #nct dream scenarios #stories

[tsuki-sennin]

"ppl who celebrate character birthdays are annoying pass it on"

FUCK this post, and Happy Birthday Neon Kurama~! ...right, so you know it's all gonna go horribly wrong, but she's our friend! We support her!

Spoilers, I guess...

-What a massive L the Jyamato have taken.

-Garden Grandpa has become Construction Grandpa!

-OOOOOOOH

-Oh hey Daichi. Just sorta hangin' around, huh?

-I don't blame you tbh, I'd be sitting on my ass too.

-April 4th! That's two days from now!

-:)

-Happy Basuday~!

-...:(

-They kidnapped the poor girl on her birthday.

-"What do you even get the Celebrity 'It' Girl who has everything? ...aside from loving parents, treatment like a normal human being, a boyfriend who isn't over twice her age, and a break from creepy weirdos on the internet?"

-...three, five, and seven, huh?

-Keiwa's just totally numb to all of Ace's... Ace-iness.

-Toro, toro!

-It's a Toreador! Just like the ones referenced in that indie horror game from 2014! Octodad: Dadliest Catch!

-...is this just the Seito/Touto proxy battle arena from Build? I think it is, at least, I'm probably wrong.

-Beroba continues to Bull-y Michinaga for her entertainment.

-Fight!

-I swear, by my sword and capote, that I will once again prove victorious!

-Bullfight!

-Rook! Bishop! Buffa! All the most powerful chess pieces!

-Shut the fuck up Chirami, you ain't doing shit.

-"Happy Birthday :)"

-Na-Go Stans are wildin'

-We win, we party!

-Hot damn, Keiwa!

-Oooooh, disarming yourself for a shot? Clever.

-Oh, whoops! Bero be cheatin', who coulda guessed!

-"You cheated. You didn't learn, you didn't improve."

-Oh God, Beroba's gonna leak her DMs.

-Gotta win!

-Oh hello, Kyuun.

-"A present! For me~?"

-"No! >:( ...Maybe :("

-You're so full of crap, man.

-Free Boost~!

-Sweet and salty! Just like sea-salt ice cream!

-Word of advice lads, be honest.

-OH FUCK, IT'S DAD

-...I think I forgot his name, I'm just gonna call him Papa Naoto until I remember it.

-You're only like... marginally better a parent than your wife, man. And that's only because you don't hit her or constantly try restraining her.

-...man, I just realized, Neon suffers trauma from being kidnapped at a young age and her mother just... holds her captive. Irony at its most fucked up.

-To be quite honest, I don't think Kyuun'd be much better company than Jeff Pesos or whoever Izumi had in mind.

-Man, these supporter plotlines are so interesting, holy shit.

-Ah, yep. There's Ace. Looking into it.

-"Geats. How unexpected."

-...Waaaait...

-"I've had quite enough of family matters from last season, thank you very much."

-KOUSEI, THAT'S HIS NAME

-Ace, you don't just walk up to a girl and lay her backstory out like that.

-I'll give Kousei credit, he at least seems legitimately worried.

-Doesn't even seem to have a scratch on her. Seems a little at odds with the depiction of the kidnapping itself, huh?

-Man... Can't even cake.

-Time for the mountain lion to descend upon the bull.

-...shit, that was lame. Pretend you never noticed that.

-OH?

-Okay, it's Ace time!

-Beroba's such a scrublord. Or uh... scrublady, as the case may be.

-Ooooooh, boy!

-Set!

-Dual On! Ninja! Magnum!

-Ready, Fight!

-Get splashed, idiot!

-"Two, huh?"

-Set!

-Ooooooh, he's not going into Laser Boost, okay!

-That's neat! They kept that suit around!

-PNGTuber Beroba.

-Ohhhhhh noooo

-You're an absolutely horrendous excuse of human being, Beroba.

-Great job Takahashi, banger villain. Especially you Namika-san, you're putting in a fantastic performance <3

-Ohhh, Ace is MAD mad.

-Everybody loves Na-Go-san!

-...holy shit, that is so cruel. They just

-Instantly went on a targeted harassment campaign.

-AKARI?

-Ohhhh

-...that's

-That's depressing as fuck.

-...that goes a long way to explain why Izumi was so controlling and Kousei dumped all his money into... I'm gonna be completely honest, what's basically a snuff film ring.

-Why would he let Giroli pick Neon to play then?

-"She was lying" SHUT THE FUCK UP

-Completely ruined my homegirl's life.

-Fucking MURDER that thing, Ace.

-Oh shit, Kyuun! My dude!

-Next episode.

-#NaGoSweep!

#kamen rider geats #kamen rider #kr geats #geats #geats spoilers #the world's next round: trick shot of desire for the grand victory

[sweetestofchaos]

Your older than me and with more experience so is there anything you will like to tell us like anything about having kids and stuff like that or if you got the chance of meeting little you what would you tell her or warned her about? 💗

Oh, bestie…how much time do you have 🤔 imma give you a small(ish) list.

Don’t have kids young if you can help it. And by young I’m talking about 18-25. Live your life and allow yourself to have worldly experiences. I know this will piss people off but please keep in mind that not all of us are blessed with the resources or help to still be able to live a full life while having a child/ren.

Listen to your gut/heart. Stop ignoring the warning signs because you think you can change someone. News flash, you cannot change them!

Save money! Put money aside whenever you can. An emergency fund is a must!

Learn to enjoy being your best friend. There is a peace like no other when you are able to enjoy your solitude. You don’t have to be alone all the time but when you are, you shouldn’t hate it.

Read the fucking room! Don’t invite yourself to places that people don’t want you. If you’re on the phone with a friend and they are talking about going out with so and so, don’t ask to tag along.

Go to therapy!! There is nothing wrong with getting help. Some battles cannot be won alone.

“Love” isn’t a reason to stay in a toxic relationship. It will slowly turn into resentment and anger.

Talk to your partner about children. Make sure you are on the same page about everything. If you want them or not. How many. Parenting styles…it is all very important to know before hand. Shit like this will ruin a relationship later on down the line.

Be open minded. The world is always changing and what you know isn’t always correct. Adapt and evolve, that is the best thing you can ever do.

Don’t ever put someone before yourself. At the end of the day, all you have is you. Look out for your best interest ‘cause nine times out of ten the other person will fuck you over (speaking from experience)

And if I got the chance to meet my younger self, I would tell her to listen to our mother. Don’t hold any hate against her…she has been through a lot and is looking out for us. I would also tell my younger self to be more open about our feelings. Don’t hold them in and voice whatever is bothering us. Having feelings isn’t wrong and it is our parent’s jobs to protect us. We don’t have to be strong at such a young age.

I would lastly tell my younger self to leave my ex the fuck alone! Don’t even look at him in school. Pretend he doesn’t exist and keep it pushing. He is nothing but trouble 😒

So, yeah that’s my list. Listen to me or not. But this is what I wish I knew when I was younger. My life most likely wouldn’t be the shit show that it is now 😓😐

Thank you for asking bestie,

Chell

#soc asks #soc answers #anon bestie #just my thoughts

[fullofgutsndopamine]

Flowers In The Passenger Seat (Taken Out Of Context)

or: part of the big brother!hasan universe

or or: talking hasan off the ledge when anxiety is bad

“i’m afraid i’m going to ruin her life,” he whispers, his voice is tight and his forehead pressed against yours, “Fuck it up instead of make it better.”

tw/cursing, mention of anxiety, mention of past physical abuse (not graphic, but talks about scars), toxic masculinity, catholic guilt, implied verbal/physical abuse

series master list here

(not required reading, but you might enjoy it if you like this)

hasan comes out, in his true form, between 2am-5am.

his voice is deep with sleep, borders on slurring, heavy eye kids from a double shift at the shop, grease stains that never come out of his hands, night classes finished (“makin a better life for us, sunshine’” he’ll insist to his tiny shadow clinging to his belt loops as he picks her up from the library, running to keep up with his long strides.)

she’s too young to understand what a better life could possibly be, especially because she thinks this is the better life, by hasan's side, but she nods and repeats it back, (“a better life!” she’ll giggle to his side, her tiny fingernails dig into his denim, too thin for the cold winter, but he’d rather spend the money on her, even if it goes into new school uniform shirts she needs or holy fuck she needs new shoes already?!)

“Hasan-“ sleep finds you, easily. especially with him curled into your side, his head buried deep into the crook of your neck, imagines he’s sticking his head into the sand, a: la la la as he ignores all the real life problems he has. because with you, the real life problems aren’t nearly as bad.

he talks first.

“i’m afraid i’m going to ruin her life,” he whispers, his voice is tight and his forehead pressed against yours, “Fuck it up instead of make it better.”

“Hasan,” you sigh, turning over to face him, to put your finger under his chin, make him look at you, his eyes are misty and his face has tear streaks on it, like he was torturing himself before he finally spoke, bared his bones to you. “You’re doing good, what’s this about?” you whisper, press his forehead against yours.

“What if i fuck her up?” he whimpers. “Like our parents fucked me up-“

“hasan, you aren’t a fuck up-“

he doesn’t talk about the past much. prefers to leave it in the past. little bits come out; talks about his childhood with this hard look on his face his “before Amelie” times and “after Amelie” times, he’ll say, “when things got better. Made sense.”

you’ve seen the scars that liter his body, curve and twist in every angle on his back, white with age; only making an appearance as he mows the lawn in the hot summer, or when the boss is out of the shop and he’s working on a car by himself- “less people,” he mutter, before his eyes get dark, “less questions.”

He’s crying now, into your shoulder blade, like when he was a kid and buried his head into his mothers apron strings, hiding himself, always trying to make himself smaller, even then-because making yourself smaller meant less problems, less eyes on you-

“hasan,” you hush him gently, the pad of your thumb goes over his cheek, wiping away the tears gently, “you are doing amazing-“

“you have to say that” he sniffles his voice muffled from inside your shoulder blade.

“hasan,” you sigh, “I don’t have to say shit. Amelie adores you. she talks about you non stop.”

silence. only his sniffling is heard.

“Just cause she’s talkin’ ‘bout me doesn’t mean i’m doin’ good.” he finally settles on.

hasan is stubborn. probably the most stubborn person you’ve ever met.

and he isn’t the perfect guardian. even he knows that. there’s nights he has to take deep breaths, remind himself that she doesn’t get it, when she stomps her tiny foot at him, jabs her finger into his leg, “I hate you.” she’ll declare.

and even though it’s coming from a five year old-it still fucking hurts, right?

“You don’t mean it.” he’ll insist. swallowing hard to get rid of the tears that threaten to fall in front of her.

“Yeah!” she’ll say again, “you’re the reason mama and pa are gone!”

and she doesn’t get it.

she’s young. too young to understand the truth behind what happened, it being for the best, only knows secondhand stories.

“You made Pa leave!” she’ll say again, and on those days, the worst days, he doesn’t even think about doing what happened to him, stuck black and blue sobbing into a corner for hours on end, alone. (“be a man, for once in your pathetic fucking life, hasan.”)

“You don’t mean it, sunshine.” he’ll say again, his voice is low, raspy.

“Yeah-huh!” shell insist, her face bright red as fat tears fall down. “and-“

and before she can say it again, he brings her closer. a tight hug, squeezes her tight against his belly-

“hasan, no.” she’ll try again, but he’s already on his knees in front of her, like he’s begging for forgiveness from her, like all those years in church until his knees were bloody and scarred-

he doesn’t listen. Grabs her closer, squeezes her tighter. doesn’t let go. never let’s go.

Blows raspberries on her neck and cheeks, her belly, until she’s finally laughing, the words she said to him earlier gone.

he’s stubborn. almost as stubborn as she is.

You groan, but take his hair into your hands, gently pulling at his hair, tiny little fistfuls, the only way sleep can find him some days, and instantly, a sigh comes out of him, like some pressure was released from him.

“She talks about you,” you say gently, “like you put the stars in the sky. it’s annoying. and endearing-“

he huffs, opens his mouth and he’s about to interrupt him but you continue first-

“And last week?” you continue, “when she had that night terror? what happened?”

and you pause, making him finish, his voice defeated because he knows you’re right, knows your the voice of reason, won’t stop until he talks-

“I just went to check on her-“ he says, his voice gruff.

“hasan you shot out of bed,” you sigh, “Like, my eyes weren’t even all the way open and you were sliding across the floor to her. had her calmed down in the time it took me to walk across the floor.”

“That’s what big brothers do.” he says gently, remembers his mama bringing her home, a small bundle of blankets that cooed at him the second she looked at him, his mother crouched down next to hasan, holding the bundle up in the air, her voice goes through his head: “This is your sister, hasan. You take care of her. That’s what big brothers do.”

time has passed. time made him rough around the edges, wouldn’t fit in the same hole he did when he was younger, when everything was still good and his Pa had a job and a reason to get out of the house-

time passed. he’s rougher around the edges, thought it would be him and Amelie against the world, terrified that the world would make her rough, make her hate everything -make him hate her-the idea keeps him up most nights.

“Exactly,” you pull him down to earth gently, “And you’re doing amazing. Seriously, she turned out great and that’s because of you, hasan.”

he sniffles.

a small voice in his doorway, hard to see, only an outline, holds a stuffed bunny but the ear, is practically falling off, patches on top of patches that sapnap has had to sew, then sew again in the dark of the night, poking his finger and cursing under his breath as the needle stabs at him. (“Carrots,” He’d say, the first day he presented her with him after her first top real nightmare, “kept me safe and now he’ll do the same for you.”)

“hasan?” the voice calls gently, is quiet, timid.

“Sunshine’?” Hasan scoots up on his elbows until he’s sitting up in bed, “It’s late, what’re you doin’ up?”

“Can’t sleep,” She whimpers, “The wind is too loud.”

he laughs, some ease to it.

“C’mon, sunshine’,” he says, turns over to turn the bedside light on, “There’s a spot for ya right here.”

and she giggles, runs full speed to the side of the bed until he smiles, leans down and picks her up by her armpits and sets her in the middle of you and him.

she immediately curls into his neck, his fingers laced around yours and he brings your hand to his mouth to kiss the top of it.

“Story, hasan.” Amelie giggles into his side and because you love to tease him too, you gasp:

“Yeah, hasan! story.”

he rolls his eyes, “I ain’t much of a storyteller.” he’ll say every-time, his face pink, like he’ll be able to get out of it.

“C’mon,” Amelie will prod at him, “Story, hasan.”

and he’ll sigh, like he doesn’t love it.

“Alright,” he’ll sigh, plays with the ends of your hair gently, his kid in his side, her bony knees in his side, “fine. Close your eyes. “

and you’ll both obey, even though he wasn’t talking to you; gives a messy kiss to Amelie’s forehead, “Let’s see,” he sighs, “Okay. Once upon a time-“

and you settle in, because he doesn’t tell stories often, so you’ll indulge yourself into this, let his voice lull you to sleep, the way his voice goes up and down with the stories, with new plot hooks and when a new character comes in, they get a distinct voice.

you her and hasan, “the way it should be.” he’d smile as he drives his truck to work in the morning, a prayer to get it to start, chugs loudly around to drop you off at work, Amelie to your side, him down the road at the shop.

because this is his little family. made it himself, found it himself.

#caroline writes #hasanabi #hasanabi x reader #hasanabi x y/n #hasanabi x you #hasan #hasan piker x you #hasan x reader #hasan piker fanfic #hasan piker fanfiction #hasan piker fic #hasan piker imagine #hasan piker x reader #hasan piker

[i-try-to-write-stuff]

Entrapment - Chapter 8 (Initiation)

Please do not read this fic if this is not your cup of tea. You have been warned, by clicking on Keep Reading means you have understood the warning. I am not responsible for your content consumption.

18 +

Thomas woke up before you to find Storm scratching the door, itching to go out. Thomas took Storm out for a walk. The giant puppy was apprehensive of Tommy but went out with him, his nose discovering numerous new smells. He ran around freely, finding a dirt patch to roll around.

“Storm”, Thomas scolded. His voice did little to nothing to discourage him.

Thomas called Frances, asking her to call the groomers for Storm.

You woke up after a fitful sleep. You got up and looked around for Storm, who was nowhere to be seen. You looked around the room, checking the wardrobe to find something to wear, only to see all your clothes hanging there. You took a much-needed bath and sauntered out.

Frances found you trying to coast your way inside the mansion.

“Good morning, Mrs Shelby. I am Frances, the caretaker of Arrow House,” she approached humbly.

“Errm..” it took you a minute to confirm that no one was behind you. She was talking to you.

“Oh..hi, please call me Y/N,” you added awkwardly.

“As you wish, Miss Y/N”, she replied.

“Just Y/N is fine”, you added politely.

“No, it’s not. You’re the lady of the house, darling,” Thomas added, and you jumped out of your bones. You didn’t even hear him come, fuck that man and his ability to sneak up on people.

“Well, if that’s the case, Frances, call me Y/N,” you added reproachfully.

“Very well, Ma’am, what would you like for Breakfast? I can have our chef whip anything you like,” she asked under the scrutiny of her dangerous boss.

“Oh..ok…I am not hungry right now.” You added nervously.

Thomas stood in the hallway, shaking his head in disapproval.

“Very well, Ma’am. Let me know whenever you get hungry. We can have the chef make anything you desire.” She consoled you and left.

“Good morning Thomas, very fucked up of you to sneak on me”, You added with contempt.

“Good morning, Mrs Shelby”, he replied just to enrage you.

“Fuck you…”

“C’mon, I want you to meet someone” He took hold of your arm, guiding you gently to another room, not quite far away from the master bedroom. He opened the door and greeted a toddler, who was half-asleep. He hugged the toddler, kissing his cheeks.

“Y/N..meet Charlie, Charlie…Y/N, she is your stepmother”, Thomas introduced like it was no big deal while the child excitedly let out a squeal.

You were stunned, to put it mildly. You didn’t even know Thomas had a kid.

“Hello, Charlie…” you said as sweetly, not wanting to let the kid feel the anger you felt towards his father.

“Where is his mother?” you asked.

“Dead…”

“How..?” you enquired.

“She took a bullet that was meant for me.” He added quietly

You stayed silent, discerning Thomas Shelby, a father, A man polar opposite from the one threatening your friends and family, a man who forced you to marry him.

Soon after, the babysitter came and took Charlie for a bath. After they left, you went ballistic.

“Why did you marry me then, just to get another mother for your kid? I am sure you could have found many willing participants. Why me, Thomas, why fucking ruin my life?”

“Why did you even need this one then?” you continued bitterly, your hand over your slightly popped belly.

“It’s my kid. Why wouldn’t I want it?” he questioned you.

“And to answer your question, you were the only one who didn’t care about my money, fuck. You didn’t even care about what I did. You just simply let me be. I had the freedom to be me with you.”

“So, this is what I get for it?” you quizzed.

You turned around to leave the room. Angry at the whole situation, did no one see how fucked up everything was?

Thomas followed you.

“My family is here to meet you,” he told you.

You said nothing. You were in too deep. So much was at stake, the lives of people you love, your unborn child, and the toddler who lost his mother at such a young age.

“They were here yesterday, but you were tired, so I told them to postpone the family meeting”, he continued in his Brummie accent, which you usually found cute but now was infuriating you.

You were led into a room, his hand on your back, guiding you to where everyone was waiting. You noticed quite a few people from yesterday.

“Good morning, everybody. I would like to introduce you to my wife, Y/N Shelby.”

Some of them clapped, some hooted, and some whistled. Thomas raised his hand to order them to quiet down.

“Y/N Y/L/N, I am not changing my name for you, Thomas”, you added offensively, side-eyeing him.

“Darling, this is Polly Gray, she is my aunt, Ada Thorne, my sister, Ben Younger, her husband, Michael Gray, Polly’s son. You’ve met Arthur, John and Finn. They are my brothers. This is Linda, Arthur’s wife, Esme is John’s wife, and Jeremiah Jesus, Danny, Isaiah, Johnny Dogs, and Lizzie Stark are also family.”

You smiled, trying to get through the day; you knew what family meant. They were all gangsters, just like the head of the family.

“Thomas has told us so much about you” Polly approached you. Her hand on yours. You looked over to see Thomas grinning.

“Ada, she is even more beautiful than her pictures, isn’t she?” Polly added.

“She is… so much better than Tommy”, Ada added.

“Pictures?” you asked as you sat with Polly on the sofa. You felt like there was a part of this relationship you never knew. Thomas had painted a different picture about your relationship with this family.

“Thomas has very many pictures of you on his phone. Something I am sure he has never told you.” Polly added carefully, seeing your reaction.

“Definitely not”, you added politely.

“Her dog is a maniac, though”, John added.

“He is just protective”, you added defensively.

“You have a dog?” Ada asked excitedly

“Yeah…” you looked at Thomas to ask where Storm was. You big furry baby, crap, you forgot about him in all this hustle and bustle.

Thomas messaged one of the estate employees to get Storm to the meeting room. There was a knock on the door, and Finn opened the door.

Storm came running inside, all fluffy and cute, running straight towards you, jumping over you, licking your face.

“Hi baby, you smell fresh. Did someone give you a bath?”

Your puppy barked in affirmation.

“I had to call the groomers. I took him out this morning, and he found a dirt patch,” Thomas added shyly.

“Tommy is whipped”, Ada asked, clearly shocked by her brother’s development.

“He is a good dog. I like having him around,” Tommy added.

Storm went over to Thomas and began licking his face. There was a pin drop silence. All the family members see Thomas smile. It was a rare occurrence for them. Tommy Shelby getting licked by a dog was amusing to his family. They rarely saw glimpses of carefree Tommy anymore, so his smile meant a lot to them. Storm returned to you, his head in your lap, his snout nudging your belly. You scratched behind his ears, trying to ground yourself.

You were shoved into a whole new world of gangsters, a tight-knit family of gangsters.

#Dark Tommy Shelby x reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Desi!reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Black!reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x WOC!reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Desi reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Black reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x WOC reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Y/N #Dark Tommy Shelby x You #Dark!Tommy Shelby x reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Desi!reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Black!reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x WOC!reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Desi reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Black reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x WOC reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Y/N #Dark!Tommy Shelby x You #Tommy Shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby x Desi!reader #Tommy Shelby x Black!reader #Tommy Shelby x WOC!reader #Tommy Shelby x Desi reader #Tommy Shelby x Black reader #Tommy Shelby x WOC reader #Tommy Shelby x Y/N #Tommy Shelby x You #Thomas Shelby x Desi!reader #Thomas Shelby x Black!reader #Thomas Shelby x WOC!reader

[fuck-you-official]

fuck you dad. fuck you for everything. fuck you for ruining my life. fuck you for being such a good respectable man when we all knew who you were. especially me and you. the both of us know that that facade is faker than the love you pretended to have for both me and mom. you only cared about yourself, and when something bad did actually happen to you, when your mother died and you expected us all to coddle you. the rest of them might've cared, but I didn't. not after the trauma you gave me at such a young age, i couldn't even process it and whether it was a dream or if you knew i wouldn't be able to differentiate that memory if it was real or not. id say fuck you to my mom for never noticing, but i've forgiven her. unlike you, she had something to grow and change from. you could only abuse the ones you love and say nothing or even deny it. she accepted her mistakes and knew she did something wrong but we all know that even if you did that for once in your life, who would ever forgive someone, even less someone they were supposed to love and trust, for ruining me and defiling me, selling my body out just to get yourself kicking. god save my mothers gut-wrenched soul for the fact that you manipulated her into making her believe every slippery lie that fell off your tongue, every excuse that you came up for yourself, every pin and pointing finger you threw at me to blame me. i love my mother so dearly, the fact that you would get angry at her for your own faults and whine like a man baby when she called you out on it makes me want you to take a nice visit to the ninth circle of hell. the years its taken me (and still taking me) to recover from your abuse. i can't ask for help easily, i can't speak up about my interests or thoughts without thinking of how people might think, i can barely stand in the same room next to an older man around your age without wanting to cry or shutdown. my mom can't even bring a man shes been talking to into the house without me shutting myself away and wanting him to leave. i love reading, but god forbid i try to imagine the image of big, rough, course hands without thinking that they were yours. you made me begin to form insecurities at the age of 6. i thought i was so ugly and weird because thats what daddy told me. you sexualized me so much, i began to question whether that was normal for most families. i asked friends at school, essentially asking "hey guys, does your dad tell you you're chest is growing in so well already or is that just me" and they were fucking concerned, and i didn't know better so i thought they were just judgemental. i thought everyone wrestled with their dad and tickled eachother and even did a little gropin here and there, hell everyone knows that tradition! /s

it's been 3 years since i moved. im forgetting your face, but im also forgetting my stepbrothers faces too. they were the one thing i loved about living there, i miss them both, and the fact you ruined my life to where i can never see them again makes me realize how much of a selfish prick you are. i hope all the fat in your body doesn't add fuel for the flames of hell you'll burn in. I've far moved on from the chapter of my life that had you in it, but are you ever really able to move on from an imprinted image in your mind that haunts you occasionally, reminding you why you're like this, telling you that you're the reason for both the cause and effect of your trauma? not really. when court decides to get off their ass and actually plan the court date for your charges, I will be there. and I'll be the last, sweet image you see before your soap dropping, bitch boy days in a cell. and when you die, ill cremate you so i can roll you into a joint and smoke you.

sincerely, the kid you never bothered to respect.

p.s wait till you find out how nicely they treat child predators in jail.

.

#vent post #ask to tag