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withachanceoflaxus · 9 months

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I don’t know what this is. It’s partly me rambling for a long time. It’s a meta, but also has some of my own headcanons & thoughts sprinkled in. I call it my F.antasia Manifesto because that's what it feels like. It's an examination of Laxus’ character and why Fantasia happened in the first place; it wasn’t so much about the guild as it was Laxus & Makarov’s relationship which is the main focus of this. Keeping up with the Dreyars is a full time job.

shoutout to jana / @aeceso for betareading this for me <;3

We all know what Laxus was like in the beginning. Arrogant. Rude. Loud-mouthed. Very focused on strength. His need for the guild to be strong is his stated reason for Fantasia.

That’s how he’s portrayed and he is a dick to everyone he talks to. He literally calls Team Shadowgear weak after what Gajeel did to them only to then later attack Gajeel “for them”. Obviously, it wasn’t about them or Gajeel.

We don’t really know at this point where his emphasis on strength originates.. One hidden part of it that I think we shouldn’t ignore is that Laxus as a child was sick. And that’s a key part I want to point out. He was a sickly child. I think some part of his obsession with strength, perhaps even subconsciously, was a fear of feeling like he did as a child. Pediatric chronic illness has been noted to align with later emotional, behavioral and psychiatric symptoms. It is not every child, obviously, but I think Laxus would be a good case for something like this considering Fantasia. Laxus going from being sick to having heightened senses of a dragon slayer will be something I explore in a different post because I believe that is important. And so is his relationship with Makarov.

Fantasia doesn’t happen because Laxus thinks everyone else is weaker than him, that’s just what he says. We learn that we can’t even trust his stated reasons, I don’t think he is even conscious of the fact of why he’s behaving so out of character for himself. We know we can’t trust him because Fairy Law fails. At that point, people are urging Laxus to go to Makarov, but he doesn’t and he continues. Everything he does, even in his most desperate moments, involve Makarov.

His identity is so intertwined with Makarov. All his accomplishments, all his strengths. His relationship with Makarov forces him to be more focused on the guild and the guild’s future than himself. This is proven at the end. Right after Fairy Law fails? We have these two panels.

(sidenote: I really don't think Laxus opened up much to his friends at this point because if he did, Freed would Not have said that. Because it comes across, to me, like a "okay you made your point lets end this" kinda way that dismisses the root cause which also probably caused the screaming. How many times has Laxus been told to get over things? Well, I know at least one other time which I will also get into.)

The utter heartbreak I feel aside — this shows what Fantasia was about. And it wasn't strength. It was about Laxus, his place in the guild and in his own life. Which has been completely messed up.

Natsu, the main character, does go on to attempt to reiterate the a lesson learned in the Phantom Lord arc by saying to Laxus that blood family doesn’t matter; that “no one cares” if Laxus is Makarov’s grandson. That's wrong, though.

One, blood not mattering makes sense for Lucy, who was abused by her father (at the very least, she was neglected which is a form of abuse) and she ran away. Her father was trying to force her into marriage. The two situations are different. Two, it makes total sense for a character like Natsu to not put much stock into blood family. He doesn't have any. He's only had a dragon, Igneel, to grow up with and doesn't remember his human family. And later, we learn Zeref is his brother so I can't blame him — his situation is very special. So! For Natsu, it makes sense that's what he thinks. Three, I'd say this is more Natsu's POV because it does matter. Just look below!

Laxus gets flack for being a well known Fairy Tail mage and is constantly undermined because his grandfather is the GM. People have thoughts about him, alright. His reputation matters. People have thoughts and theories on him because of his connection to Makarov, because of his blood relation. Everyone assumes he will be the next master because Makarov is the current one. Also, just to add to blood relation mattering: Laxus is also connected to a founder of Fairy Tail. Of course people are going to assume he’s going to be GM. And none of it has anything to do with any of his own accomplishments as a mage. Which is infuriating because being a mage is all that Makarov expects from him, which we will get into.

I doubt Mr. Zod was the first or the last person to say something of that effect. Makarov's reputation is very important for Laxus.

I will also like to add how important reputation is in general for Fairy Tail. As a Fairy Tail mage...the reputation of the guild matters. Fairy Tail is wildly talked about and it's not always good as we can see below. They're not taken seriously and that can affect the nature of the jobs. Not only that, because of the their destructive reputation, they could get disbanded. Yajima was protecting them there which is just another side of Makarov being so shady but that's a different meta / headcanon.

So yes. Reputation does matter. Blood relations or no. You just get extra pressure and expectations put on you if you’re blood related. No biggie!

Back to Laxus a bit. Fairy Tail and Makarov's reputation being what it was always affected him. From what people said to his face, what they said about him, how they treat and interaction with him — this is all impacted by his relationship to Makarov. Whether or not some people think otherwise (Natsu and Makarov). His relationship to Makarov gets thrown in his face constantly and how healthy can that be? His relationship with Makarov isn't even truly understood by most, if not all, of these people. They are not buddy-buddy wholesome cute close. In fact, I am hopefully going to show why I think Makarov and Fairy Tail are the same entity when it comes to Laxus and that’s how it was set up by Makarov’s own actions.

Before Makarov excommunicated Laxus, what positive interactions do we see? Yeah, Laxus is being stand-offish and a dick to others in the guild, but Makarov one, allows it to a certain point. Two, has never shown any true genuine affection for an older Laxus until the excommunication. Three, literally doesn’t seem happy when he hears Laxus is in town for the Festival despite the good memories (obviously, we the reader know something is up there, but Makarov hasn’t seen him for a few weeks). Four, we know that something Not So Chill happened and Laxus’ only parent, Ivan, was excommunicated. At some point, this becomes an argument between them. And I personally think that argument is the catalyst for their relationship and leads to Fantasia & it’s aftermath and explains why just Laxus was excommunicated.

Laxus is about 14-17 in the flashback. I personally headcanon it takes place pre S-Class because of how it ends. He's also obviously an older teenager, not a tween. When it ends, two very important things happen. Laxus makes a vow to become strong (the earliest time we see Laxus put any emphasis on strength) not for Ivan, but for himself. Makarov, however, saw it as Laxus “choosing” Ivan and no longer trusting him. But … it didn’t begin as an argument about Ivan.

To summarize: Makarov asked Laxus if he was going to be in Fantasia (something Laxus used to enjoy as a child and also something expected of Laxus as a member). Laxus got angry and upset at Makarov. Laxus talked about how he never gets the credit he deserves. That he’s always…Makarov’s grandson. Does Makarov emphasize with his struggle? No. He says "no one gets the credit they feel they deserve" and seems rather tired of the conversation and of Laxus' outburst. He doesn't admit that there's pressure to being his grandson, brushes it off. Laxus gets frustrated as anyone would (let alone a teenager) and mentions his dad, something he is separately upset about. Laxus reveals the existence of Raven Tail, which is news to Makarov. Makarov tries to get Ivan's location from Laxus and Laxus refuses, Makarov is not happy about this. It's evidence of Laxus and Ivan interaction that Makarov didn't previously know about. Makarov is afraid of what Ivan knows. This fear is what ultimately makes Makarov not trust Laxus and we see the formation of the distance between them pre-Fantasia.

Also, in the argument, Laxus truly shows that he thinks blood relations should matter. He’s Makarov’s grandson. Ivan was his son. Doesn’t that mean something? Well. What does being Makarov’s grandson mean for Laxus? The reputation comes with pressure. It means working really hard for no credit. That there are expectations put on you. Being Makarov's grandson and your father being excommunication probably doubled the pressure on him because everyone is going to wonder how he would turn out. Lastly, a grandson could also get excommunicated despite being family because at the end of the day, you're a mage of Fairy Tail and that's the part of you that matters to Makarov, as shown by his actions.

To summarize where we are: Fantasia was not about strength. It was about Laxus' lack of real identity. He was never himself, not even to his grandfather. He's always a mage of Fairy Tail first. That's how his grandfather sees him, his only blood relative that is around him. Makarov and Fairy Tail. They may as well be one and the same for Laxus. He’s not really given any room or model for how to have an identity outside of Fairy Tail. So of course he’s going to care. And he cares with his strength because he thinks that’s all he’s allowed to have at the end of the day. If he can overpower Makarov, he can be his own person.

So that’s how we get to Fantasia. And I’m not going to go over it too much, but it’s easy to see by different character’s reactions and even the townspeople that this is not something that aligns with the Laxus they are familiar with. Natsu (not Makarov) doesn’t take the threats seriously until he’s forced to. Freed is even surprised at what Laxus says to him, especially after Evergreen falls in battle. He is obviously not acting in character despite him being a dick in the few months we see him before the incident.

Now, I do think Laxus (and the Raijinshuu) do deserve a punishment for what happened. They did all endanger the lives of not only their guildmates but also citizens. I did find it odd that Laxus was the only one who was excommunicated, but when I thought about it deeper…it does make sense! Why? Because why would Makarov let Laxus and the Raijinshuu leave, when he could ensure that at least just Laxus is leaving. He can’t trust what Laxus was going to do after. Remember, in the flashback argument, Laxus threatened that if ever he got fired, he'd join his dad's guild. We know he didn't do that after he left Fairy Tail. Makarov, however? Makarov didn't have that foresight! Yes, Makarov will miss him and cries when Laxus leaves. Yes, Makarov promises to watch over his grandson from afar (considering he sent spies after Ivan, though, I figure that was a guarantee LMAO) . However, there is still a lack of trust in their relationship.

Makarov who just fired Laxus cannot risk Ivan having Laxus & the Raijinshuu especially after the Raijinshuu just displayed all their tricks. Once more, Laxus is unwillingly put into the war between his dad and his grandfather. He is cut off from his support system (his friends) because of this.

Either being fired from your job (in this case, from Fairy Tail) means you have to leave the entire city (why does a guild have that much power over its mages in the first place or why does Fairy Tail / Makarov have that power?) or, more likely, Laxus' exile was self imposed. And I think the reason why it was self imposed is tied directly into the relationship with Makarov he's had thus far: family = guild. There is no two separate things. Not even blood can save you. So of course being fired means leaving. Makarov didn’t just fire Laxus, it’s never that simple between them. Laxus is not a part of the guild, he’s not a part of Makarov’s family either.

Which is devasting because obviously other people outside his relationship with Makarov do make it matter. Strangers make it matter. People close to him make it matter (Freed is an example of how close that is). But to Makarov himself? It doesn't. And we can infer that to Laxus it also mattered. He thought being blood related mattered. That he had a grandfather, not a guild master. Since that argument, we know that is not the truth for Makarov.

To conclude: Fantasia happened because Makarov and Laxus’ fucked up relationship and its impact on Laxus. He is not allowed to be Laxus, he has to be Fairy Tail’s Laxus. Not just to the general public, but to his grandfather. And there are pressures that come with being tied to Makarov that frankly, others either don’t acknowledge and/or care about. Their relationship was forever changed from that one argument and, I’d say even to the end in canon, it was never the same. They aren’t really close as Makarov will always put the guild over his family.

#2.3 k words later and here we are folks #the fantaasia manifesto which has been on my mind for 3 years now #and when i started to look more critically at makarov #that headcanon / meta will come at some point im sure #⚡: allow me to exaggerate a memory or two / hc #⚡: your melody needs a little more character for show / canon div #fantasia manifesto #just in case i need to come back to this #makarov tag

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fuchsadler · 1 year

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A list of my headcanons and how they come to be

Fandoms that will be mentioned here and work as a CN as well: Heidi (Johanna Spyri), Harry Potter (JKR), Malory Towers (Enid Blyton), Wednesday (Netflix), Wolfblood (CBBC), Dance Academy

This lists elaboration will contain spoilers for mentioned fandoms

So, let's start with characters from Heidi:

Alm-Uncle is autistic, he literally lives slone in a hut in the mountains with his two goats and only ever goes to town if he really needs to. His special interest is nature. And I think he's gay because he and the doctor move in together at the end - yes it's said it's only because Alm-Uncle is old and someone needs to take care of Heidi but I read this as two gay men raising a child.

Heidi is autistic, she takes things very literally, which is seen in the scene when she first comes to Frankfurt and Fräulein Rottenmeier asks her name, she responds with "Heidi", Fräulein Rottenmeier then asks to what name she was christened and she responds, "I do not remember." Then I also headcanon Heidi as nonbinary because at least in the German version of the book she is referred to as "it" and "that" most of the time, when her name isn't mentioned.

Peter is dyslexic and I think there are so many clues about that it isn't even a headcanon at this point. He's known to struggle with reading and therefore probably with writing too, though the latter is never explicitely shown in the book or either of the adaptations for television.

Let's move on to Harry Potter:

Luna is autistic, she stims freely and openly and gets mocked for it. Her special interest probably is the Quibbler.

Now to Malory Towers:

Darrell is kinetic (has ADHD), which is seen in the way it's always talked about her "temper" which can easily be read as poor impulse control due to Kinetism (ADHD). Also she has strong RSD which can be seen when she thinks she didn't make it into the Lacrosse team reserve.

Irene is autistic, her special interest is music and she gets utterly upset if someone interrupts her persuing that.

On to Wednesday:

Generally, the bit I've now seen by digging a little makes me think that at least the four at the core of the Addams family (Morticia, Gomez, Wednesday and Pugsley) are autistic but I'll talk about the version of Wednesday in Netflix's Wednesday in particular.

Wednesday is autistic and in my personal view even states that indirectly. When Tyler gets mad at her for going to the Rave'N with Xavier instead of him she states that she doesn't know why he's upset now. He says, "That's kind of the problem here." and she states: "It's not my fault, I can't interpret your emotional morse code." Aside from that Wednesday has a very stoic facial expression most of the time and uses little intonation when speaking. Her special interests are writing and mysteries as well as death. And with death I mean anything from serial killers to autopsies. She has sensory issues, as Morticia states: "Excuse Wednesday, she's allergic to colour." And when her roommate Enid wants to hug her she takes a step back, signalling she doesn't want to be hugged.

Enid is kinetic, she is a sensory seeker, loves bright colours and physical touch. And she's very outwardly hyperactive, which mainly shows in excessive talking. And she has poor time management skills, likely due to time agnosia because of her Kinetism.

Let's get to Wolfblood:

Jana is autistic and kinetic, having grown up in a culture where she didn't have to mask at all she has to learn masking at school. She's very impulsive, takes things literally and has a special interest in nature and wolfblood history.

Rhydian is kinetic. He's impulsive and hyperactive and can't seem to concentrate on things that do not interest him.

Maddy is kinetic for much the same reasons.

On to Dance Academy:

Abigail is autistic, her special interst is dancing and she does not understand social norms. When she gets asked on a date to the aquarium she wants to learn a lot about fish because she previously said she loved that and thinks she is supposed to infodump. When Sammy points out that most people just look at the fish she looks a certain way at the aquarium and asks Sammy if it was right. And she likes routine and is not on good terms with change.

Kat is kinetic, she is very impulsive, which can be seen when Miss Raine lets Kat back into the academy and Kat runs up to Miss Raine and hugs her.

#headcanon #heidi #wolfblood #dance academy #malory towers #harry potter #wednsday addams #wednesday #autism #kinetism #adhd

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coutelier · 2 years

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Irongate - Masterpost

Many fairy tales begin with a child. Rejected, orphaned, broken, then found by a seemingly magic being that will grant them any wish. For eleven year old Tenley Tych, that wish is the power to exact justice on her mother’s murderers. But there is always a price; terms, conditions.

Tenley is not the only child lost. Kaya Cade lost her dreams and self to the struggle of surviving an apathetic world. Jennifer Airhart retreated from that world, building a barrier around herself and forgetting her dream to roam and explore the mysteries of the universe. Yet, amid the machinations of corporations and the appearance of monsters hunting men, the universe conspires to bring all these souls together.

In Irongate dreams are being made into reality, but dreams can become twisted into nightmares.

This is a fairy tale, but do not trust your eyes. All is not what it seems.

Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery, Action, Adventure. Elements of horror, plus a lot of inspiration and reference to fantasy, folklore, and mythology.

Inspirations: X-Files, Doctor Who, Scooby Doo, and basically all the sci-fi & fantasy I read or watched as a kid.

Warnings: violence, death, an abused child, some mild swearing.

Themes: Found Family, Friendship, Change, Growing Up, Revenge, Lost Childhood/Innocence, How everyone’s relatives screw them up in one way or another (including AI and synthetic life).

(Note: This is a masterpost for a story in development. It will be periodically reblogged when things are changed and added).

Chapter One - Boys & Girls Come Out to Play

Chapter Three - Monsters

I won’t post all of the current draft on here. But here are some more excerpts:

B-Naturals, Determinism, Dibbles, Looking at the past, Hiroki, The Mill

Tenley Tych: Perpetually angry tween. Tenley has never known happiness outside of storybooks and has never been strong enough to please her mother who spent every day training her to fight. When her mother is taken from her a mysterious woman in the forest grants Tenley the power to act on her turbulent emotions.

Jennifer Airhart: A very smart dumb person. Very gifted at science and engineering, but will got lost trying to work out a bus timetable. Jennifer has always struggled to connect with people, having had only one good friend in her life. She is however in a fortunate position in that she can chose to withdraw from the world and indulge all her special interests. But is she really happy on her own, and will the promise of a mystery be enough to draw her out?

Kaya Cade: Rebellious new adult and guitarist of the Killer Aqua Bunnies. Also a pickpocket and thief. Facetious and daring, she nevertheless regrets some of her life choices, in particular abandoning Jennifer in favor of a clique who really only brought out the worst in her.

Sayuri Oshiro: Drummer in the Killer Aqua Bunnies, but by day she works in her family’s general store. Since her brother ran away to be an eco-warrior, she’s taken on most of the responsibility of running her family business. She reads horoscopes, meditates, and grinds a lot of stress balls. She also has a crush on Kaya who alas has so far seemed oblivious.

Doctor Jana Sarkis: Former adventurer now Bio-engineer at Stag Corp who knew Jenn’s father back when she was just an intern. She now manages the ELF project, seeing in it the potential to end pollution, famine, and eventually help humanity to the stars. However her boss has very different ideas.

Titania: A woman with seemingly supernatural powers who is better than everyone and she knows it. Her skin glows and has patterns on it that are constantly shifting like sand. She also has the ability to change humans to make them more like her. But at what cost?

Pythia: An AI created by the mega-corp, Meridiem. Originally her purpose was to simulate and predict changes that would affect investments, but she has grown beyond her original programming and is now consulted on a number of matters. She may, however, have her own plans.

Meridiem: A mega-corp with an interest in a large number of businesses, including research and development firm Stag Corp. There are conflicting accounts of their history, with some saying they’ve existed thousands of years. They have definitely existed at least since the 1600s, but most of its directors have always remained secretive. They employ their own private military to protect their interests.

The Witch Way: A kind of hyperspace discovered by Meridiem that, if it were possible to traverse, would allow almost instant travel across vast distances, and access to virtually unlimited resources. Unfortunately it is hostile to almost everything from our realm, bodies becoming twisted then annihilated, minds consumed. Yet there is the possibility that new tech may make it possible for there to be a navigator.

#writing #writeblr #writerblr #writers on tumblr #original fiction #science fiction #sci fi #sci-fi & fantasy #sf&f #wip #my wip #irongate

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peaceoutofthepieces · 4 years

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Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @saraben00 @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane

~^~

Sunday, 12:40

Song: Peter Manos - In My Head

Lucas is surprised his dad hasn’t come to tell him how pathetic he is yet. He supposes it isn’t necessary. Lucas is more than aware of it himself.

He’d dragged himself out to go to the bathroom and get breakfast and managed to avoid a run-in. Now he’s curled up in his bed with the covers pulled up to his neck, trying not to feel too sorry for himself.

It isn’t easy.

He’s tempted to call Kes, but he’d called him yesterday, and he doesn’t want to be so needy. He’s thought about messaging Isa, but he isn’t really sure what he would say. He’s sure they’re all busy anyway. Possibly even hanging out together. Without him. As is likely the new normal already.

Lucas had been so sure he’d found his new normal already, too, but nothing feels normal about his situation anymore. He feels more stupid than anything. He doesn’t know what he’s been thinking. He doesn’t know how he has managed to mess everything up so massively already.

Jens was offering him friendship, and of course Lucas went overboard with it. Of course he’s a fool.

He’s spent the weekend rewatching the vlogs. He’s already in that deep.

It goes against all his rules, but he can’t bring himself to stop. He can’t get any of it out of his head. He can’t stop feeling Jens’s hands on his hips, or his breath on his ear. He can’t stop remembering the pump of his heart when Jens has done nothing more than smile. He can’t stop imagining what Jens might have done, if Lucas hadn’t pulled away from their dance, if Lucas had made up for it when Jens pulled him down to sit in front of him by leaning right back against his chest. He can’t stop considering all the possibilities that have never been possible in the first place.

He can’t stop seeing Jens with her, looking entirely at home.

He’d avoided Instagram entirely yesterday, resisting the temptation to open Jens’s message or stalk his page or Jana’s for any possible torture. He hates how dramatic his heart is being. He knew not to expect anything, and he’d let himself get much too carried away anyway. Jens had just seemed so close and so possible. Now Lucas is realising the boy is probably even more like Kes than he thought.

Lucas is long over that, but there’s still a leftover sting regardless, even as he cringes at his own thoughts and thoughtless actions. It makes him feel worse, sometimes, now that the feelings have slipped away, to look back at it, but he can’t quite bring himself to regret it.

It’s given him plenty of time to come to terms with everything. With himself. He can’t exactly bring himself to regret something that taught him so much.

It just obviously hasn’t taught him enough.

It’s in moments like this where a little of that self-hate returns with full force, and he can’t help wishing that he was just normal. It wouldn’t feel like this, if he was just crushing on a girl who didn’t return his feelings.

He might have no proof to back this up, but he feels pretty sure of it all the same.

It would be fine, if he thought it wouldn’t mess anything up with Jens. He’s mostly angry with himself because of how much he’s already letting it affect him. He had run from the party without even saying goodbye, and he hasn’t responded to the message that Jens had so sweetly sent him afterwards. Or to the second message Jens had sent him yesterday, saying that he hoped Lucas got there safe and was having fun. He’d laughed at the irony of it. He doesn’t know how to explain to Jens that he’s completely miserable, and that he hadn’t gone anywhere in the first place.

He’s lying in his bed in Antwerp, and he’s giving in and clicking on Jens’s Instagram story.

It’s a video of him at the skatepark, flying up the ramp towards the camera, grinning as he jumps off his board and pushes the person away. The responding giggles sound like they come from Robbe. He looks as beautiful as ever, and Lucas wishes more than anything that he could join them. The pained twist of his heart isn’t entirely strong enough to make him want to stay away. It’s just an additional ache.

He escapes the app in a rush and opens Spotify, hoping to distract himself. His fingers twitch, tempted to draw, but there’s already a cramp in them. It was all he’d done yesterday. He’d needed to get his thoughts out, needed to put his emotions on paper, in something real, and endless sketches had poured out, inspired by the past few weeks. He’d sketched Sander first, stood in the art shop with his camera and his smirk. He’d sketched Luca, taking care with her curls and her glasses, one eye closed in a wink, adding extra details as he refused to pour out his mind’s main focus.

It still hadn’t stopped him from creating a dozen sketches of Jens, most only half-completed, the image lost midway as another one came to the forefront.

He needs a break from feeling like this, for a while. Before he remembers that he has to return to school tomorrow, where it will be unavoidable.

He doesn’t get very far, unable to make up his mind, before a notification pops up at the top of his screen and destroys any notion of forgetting his feelings.

Jens has messaged him again. Undeterred, it seems, by Lucas’s previous lack of response.

hey, you’re probably still busy but I was wondering what time you would be back? I’m at the skatepark with the boys, and we’ll probably be here until late, if you wanted to join for a while

Before Lucas can even take this in, another message appears.

you’re probably staying with your friends until the evening though, so don’t worry about it

Lucas blinks at the message with furrowed brows. At first his heart twists, thinking Jens has changed his mind and is politely telling him not to come after all. But the rushed manner in which it had been sent makes him doubt himself, and he rereads it again, searching for the purpose of it. The meaning behind it. Another thought comes to mind, but he can’t quite let himself entertain it. That can’t be right.

There’s no way that Jens is nervous.

It sounds an awful lot like he might be, though, the more Lucas reads it over. He begins to feel a little bad. He hadn’t thought too much on what his distance might feel like to Jens. He hadn’t considered the idea that he’s being unfair. It isn’t Jens’s fault, that Lucas feels hurt. He couldn’t possibly know. Lucas hopes that he doesn’t know. To Jens, it probably feels like Lucas is ignoring him now that he’s with his friends in Utrecht. That he simply takes a back seat. Lucas is the terrible person for knowingly hurting him this way.

He can’t help but smile slightly, and then his hands are moving on their own, opening the message and typing a reply.

I’m already home

It appears as ‘seen’ almost instantly, and it takes just as little time for the typing bubble to appear.

you left early? is everything okay?

I never went

He watches the texting bubble appear and disappear a few times before quickly typing out another message.

came home to my dad waiting for me. he found my (very small) stash. wasn’t pleased.

The typing bubble doesn’t appear for long now.

shit

grounded? I was wondering why you hadn’t replied

Lucas hadn’t even realised that he was creating the perfect out for himself. It’s that simple. It probably makes sense, that his grounding would include a lack of phone privileges. It isn’t too extreme, especially if it includes the idea that he’d already gotten it back. He could let Jens believe that his father had dished out that mini, extra punishment. He won’t even be lying. Not really. He just won’t be mending Jens’s incorrect assumption. Skipping over a tiny detail.

yep. I am to remain in this house indefinitely

fuck

he couldn’t be convinced to let you out for even an hour?

Lucas blinks.

Could his father be convinced?

Can Lucas?

He doesn’t have to think about it too long.

let’s check

He locks his phone and slips out of bed, suddenly eager. Determined. Still, he’s slow and quiet as he opens his door, and he winces at the faint creak of the hinges. He tiptoes up the hallway towards the kitchen, running through what he should say, giving himself a bit of extra time. He needs to go into this with patience. He needs to stay resolute. His father will shut him down the instant he blows up, so he simply needs to keep his cool. Throw in some persuasion. It’ll be difficult, probably, but not impossible. Hopefully.

Only his father isn’t in the kitchen, or the adjoining sitting room. Lucas furrows his brows in confusion and moves back down the hallway. The bathroom is unlocked and empty, and his father’s door lies open, proving without any doubt that the room is unoccupied. He’s completely alone in the flat.

His heart thrums and his mind races in time with the quickening beat. He’s not the most passive person in the world, and he wouldn’t let himself be walked over, and he’s not a model citizen. This isn’t too far past his realm of disobedience.

His father is already beyond pissed, and while Lucas initially cringes at the thought, he shrugs it off.

Might as well go the extra mile.

He heads back to his room and pulls a sweater on over his t-shirt, a light pastel green Isa had once bought him. He snatches his denim jacket from the hook by the front door and swipes up his keys as he shrugs it on. He hesitates for half a second before returning to collect his skateboard from his room, and then he’s off.

I’m on my way

Jens’s response is instant.

fucking nice :D

Lucas’s lips quirk, and he shakes his head slightly, and feels unbearably fond. Jens is so easy. Everything he does is so easy. He’s a steadily burning flame, bright and warm and sure, and Lucas is another brainless moth. Drawn in and set alight.

He doesn’t even know how he’s managed to develop such a ridiculous crush so quickly. He just hopes he can get rid of it in the same manner. Maybe he should be giving himself more time, especially now that he has a genuine excuse. He could have stepped neatly away from Jens for a while with the excuse of his imprisonment and Jens would understand. Lucas knows he would. He knows that would be the best thing to do. It’s unfair to Jens and himself to indulge these feelings, the excitement and the urgency and the pleasure at the mere idea of seeing him.

But Lucas has been miserable the past few days, and it’s starting to make his head whir in much more dangerous directions. He just needs to appease it for a moment. He just needs to see Jens once and let his heart quiet.

He’ll be pleased, at this stage, to see any of them. It makes sense for him to want to join as many of these outings as he can. He’s just beginning to fit into this friend-group.

The skatepark is relatively full, as to be expected for a Sunday afternoon, but it takes Lucas no time to find them. His eyes seek out Jens automatically and he finds him easily where he’s now sat at the top of the half pipe, laughing at someone Lucas doesn’t bother looking at and occasionally glancing at his phone. Lucas has to pause for a second and gather himself, squashing down the mixed emotions that bubble up and plastering on a smile.

It’s only when he’s halfway towards him that he does a double take, catching sight of white-blonde hair. His smile slips into something more real, and some of his familiar bounce returns to his step as he heads towards them.

“Yo, Lucas!” The cheer comes unexpectedly from Moyo, and Lucas twists around until he can see him, jogging in the same direction to meet him as he finally stops next to Jens, kicking up his skateboard and catching the tip in his hand.

Jens smiles up at him, left eye squinting more than the right against the sun. He’s still wearing just a shirt and a deep red hoodie, but he looks soft and warm and pleased as Lucas sits down next to him. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Lucas returns, feeling uncharacteristically shy, nerves twisting in his chest. The party and the hours before it skim through his mind, and then the hours after and all of yesterday when he’d attempted to purge himself of all unwanted feelings, pushing this boy away in the process. He doesn’t deserve the easy friendship Jens has handed him. He’s taken advantage of such an innocent thing, and Jens has absolutely no idea. He wouldn’t look so fond if he did.

“You got grounded?” Moyo questions him as he swings up next to them, dropping down on Jens’s other side with furrowed brows.

Lucas shrugs, twisting his hands together in his lap. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“What? Why?”

Lucas twists around to look at Robbe, who has finally detached himself from his boyfriend long enough to notice Lucas’s presence and migrate over. Lucas catches Sander’s gaze over his shoulder and Sander brightens, slipping around Robbe to greet him. Lucas allows him to clasp their hands together with a grin, but ducks away when he moves to ruffle his hair.

“My little protégé. I was starting to think these idiots were never going to let me see you again.”

Lucas huffs, shaking his head as Sander simply drops down to sit cross-legged behind him. Robbe looks at Lucas and rolls his eyes fondly, and Lucas watches with a twist in his stomach as he sits down behind Sander, wrapping his limbs around him and letting him settle back against his chest. “You say that like I listen to them.”

Sander raises his brows at this, nodding approvingly, and this is when Jens makes a small noise in the back of his throat, strangled with confusion.

Lucas looks at him to see him glancing between him and Sander in deep concentration. “Have you already met?”

“Yeah, on Thursday at the art shop,” Sander says easily. “We had a very educational chat.”

Lucas snorts, thinking of the mini lesson Sander had given him on all his favourite dead, supposedly-gay artists as he led him around the store and then to an ice cream stand down the street, instantly winning Lucas’s heart. It may not have been the most educational experience, but it had been enough for Lucas to learn that Sander is someone he could get along with.

Jens swivels to look at Robbe. “You knew about this?”

Robbe hums. “Yeah?”

“Since when?”

“That night?”

Sander takes in Jens’s expression of utter betrayal and snorts, and Lucas can’t help but raise his own brow in amusement as Jens turns his pout towards him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lucas tilts his head. “Why was I supposed to?”

Jens struggles to form a response to that, pout deepening, and Lucas really wishes he’d stop doing things like that. He wishes he would stop treating them as if they are so close, the way Robbe and Sander are close, sharing everything automatically and having a sunk-in understanding. He wishes Jens would make it easier for Lucas to let go of this idea of something more between them.

Sander knocks his leg against Lucas’s arm to get his attention, and his expression is dramatically serious. “Jens just gets a little jealous,” he mock-whispers, loud enough even for Moyo to hear him and let out a snort.

Jens’s pout shifts into a scowl and he rolls his eyes, and Sander knocks a leg against him instead in some semblance of apology. He raises his brows at Lucas, however, in a silent ‘told you’.

“What, you don’t seriously think Sander is going to steal me away or something, do you?” Lucas can’t help but tease, raising his brows in interest.

Moyo butts in with a laugh of his own, gesturing at Sander and hitting Jens’s arm. “Sander is basically a part of the group anyway, man. Where would he go?”

“That’s not the point,” Jens mumbles, mostly under his breath. Before anyone can question him on it, he’s turning back to Lucas and asking, “How’d you get your dad to let you out, anyway?”

Lucas shrugs, smiling sheepishly. “I didn’t. He wasn’t there, so I just left.”

“Ahh, a little rebel,” Sander teases.

Robbe huffs a laugh. “A match made in heaven.”

“Don’t encourage them,” Jens protests, leaving Sander sticking his tongue out at him. His gaze turns concerned as he looks at Lucas. “Won’t that make it worse for you when you get back?”

Lucas isn’t sure it can get much worse, but he can say with certainty that this is the happiest he’s been this weekend. It’s bad. This familiar warmth flooding through his chest under Jens’s gaze. It would probably be best for him, to be locked up at home.

But he can’t bring himself to regret this, either.

He gives another shrug, allows himself to smile, allows himself to enjoy how easily Jens returns it when he says, “It’ll be worth it.”

#van der stoffels #vds #wtfock #skam nl #sink or swim #vds season fic #sos clip

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pony-boy21 · 3 years

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I have been feeling really detached from myself [not a new experience, just not in denial I guess] and have been feeling inhuman is the easiest way to put it. Here are others people experience that is very relatable (I'll bold the ones that I experience quite frequently)

“It feels like your conscious brain has detached and you aren’t attached to your body. Everything goes dull like a filter has been turned on.” — Kate R.

“Feeling like I’m not me. Like I’m looking at someone else’s body and when looking at my hands I can’t grasp that they are in fact a part of me. I could stare at myself in the mirror all day and not feel like they are my eyes looking back.” — Lydia G.

“You feel out of your body, you just feel numb, you feel like an observer… like you’re just watching a movie or a TV show about your life that you don’t have any control over. You just feel like you’re on autopilot. You look in the mirror and see yourself and you just can’t believe it’s you staring back. Everything just feels blank.” — Tayla R.

“When it starts, I can feel the things that make me human start to slip away. I lose all sense of emotion, my mind goes blank, and I feel as though my body does not exist. I go through tasks and actions like a well-programmed robot, and when I speak, it’s without my own tongue. I sound lifeless. Sometimes I scream and panic in the back of my mind, but my body won’t listen.” — Amity L.

“It feels like you are witnessing your own life behind a glass wall, like nobody sees or hears you, but you can see and hear everything very clearly, even clearer than usual actually. You see your body move and you hear your voice talk but you have zero control over what you’re saying or doing, and then you just keep banging on the glass wall hoping someone would notice you’re not really there inside the body.” — Kira H.

“You feel like your body isn’t your own body, it’s something strange and distant as a vehicle you don’t drive.” — Natasha C.

“I once described it to a friend by painting a picture. Imagine you are swimming, it’s kind of dark. You can feel what you are doing and you feel like you. As you continue, you start to see yourself from the perspective of a passerby. You move your hands but it doesn’t feel like you’re moving them, only watching. You can stare at them all you want but the longer you do it the more foreign they become. You feel trapped in this space, like your outside of your body and can’t get back in.” — Venus M.

“Depersonalization for me feels like I’m just now realizing everything around me is life. It’s like I never noticed before. And then like that, I’m lost and I’m not even sure how I actually feel. I feel as if I’m not even here. I’m a shell amongst shells.” — Chanta R.

“It’s like I’m underwater. I move, but I don’t think I wanted to. My body carries me through it’s normal motions, while I try to figure out how to come back and take control.” — Jana W.

“Depersonalization is like another version of myself takes over and handles what I’m anxious about. I suddenly become a happier person. I laugh and joke and I’m confident. Once I’m back in a secure environment, my real self appears and pieces of what happened during that time is lost. I don’t remember what happened.” — Tamasvi G.

“It’s like no longer being connected to your own body. Your mind is so overwhelmed that it just detaches from reality completely. You question whether or not you’re real. Everything about you is unfamiliar. You look at your hands and wonder whose they are. It’s almost like watching a complete stranger go about their business.” — Vanessa L.

“In all honesty, it’s horrifying. It feels like I’m not in control of my body. I feel like I’m playing out events and there is nothing I can really do about it. There’s a slight feeling of numbness. Feeling fully aware of what’s going on, but I can’t do anything to stop it. It’s almost as though I’m playing out a cutscene and I’m just there for the ride. For me, they’re the worst kind of anxiety attack I can have.” — Toby O.

“Feeling like I’m locked in a glass box but the glass is dirty and fogged up so i can only partially see/understand whats going on. I feel really disconnected from everything outside of the box so much so that i start feeling disconnected from myself too because I’m shut in and things don’t make sense. I feel spacey tired and confused and i wonder if I’m actually real. Its like my brain feels disconnected from my body.” — Sarah C.

“You’re awake, but you’re trapped mostly in your head. You think you’re in reality, but a lot of time goes by, and when you feel that sudden sense of, ‘Omg, look what month we’re in already?’ You realize you haven’t really been aware. It’s a nonstop cycle.” — Cady S.

“For me, it feels as though I’m not really in charge of my movements or thoughts. I’m somewhere not quite beside myself, but not fully me. I start to wonder if what’s happening around me is real.” — Jes V.

“Several times in the last couple of years, I have looked in the mirror and legitimately didn’t know who the girl was looking back at me. I couldn’t feel my body. I felt like I was just a void. Scared the crap out of me when I would ‘snap back’ to reality.” — Jessica H.

“Like in one of these movies, being an alien creature just inhabiting a human body and controlling it. A strong Sensation of strangeness and every move feels over-controlled.” — Stefan K.

“[It’s like] floating in a bubble just above my own head, puppeteering my body, clumsily, on strings. My physical sensations are dulled, except sounds, which are weirdly amplified and out of sync. I can think clearly as the me inside the bubble, but not as the me in the body. The me in the body feels distant, far away, like another person. My voice comes out but is strange and far away sounding. Everything is going too fast and too slow at the same time, people and cars loom up suddenly out of nowhere and things like traffic are unpredictable. My perception is oddly skewed making spatial awareness and proprioception difficult. I feel like I am piloting my body by remote control.” — Katy P.

“It’s like I’m standing just behind and a little to the left of myself. I can see and hear only me at the time. Everything else is black and silent. And if I’m in a rage, I can say and do awful things. When I come back, I remember nothing and don’t feel anything about my actions even when told how horrible I was. It wasn’t me who said/did those things.” — Caralyn R.

“I feel like I’m standing off to the side watching myself. But I feel nothing. Empty. No emotions or feelings, nothing. I’m watching people talk to me but I hear nothing. No sound. Everything is muted.” — Sheree S.

“It’s like being an alien inside your own head, but your body is a machine stuck on autopilot so you’re not controlling much of anything. You see everything, but feel nothing. And when you walk past a mirror, you avoid looking because the person you see in the reflection somehow isn’t you. It’s a hollow unrecognizable shell of a thing you remember, but can’t connect with on any level. It’s isolating too, because even if someone else does notice when you’re going through this, there’s no way in hell they could ever truly understand or relate because they haven’t ever been through this themselves.” — Devin L.

“For me it was like I couldn’t focus on anything, like my whole life was a complete blur, like I needed glasses to make it clear again, as though I was there but I wasn’t. The worst thing was that I couldn’t control it. I would look in the mirror and barely recognize the girl looking back at me. You feel unconnected with reality, you just go on auto pilot. It’s really horrible.” — Kerry F.

“It feels like you’re playing a first-person video game. You can sort of control your actions and choose to interact with objects and people, but it’s not actually you doing or experiencing any of it. You’re just watching what happens from behind a screen, completely disconnected.” — Rowan S.

“It’s like the world around me is made of Lego people and the cars are Hot Wheels. It’s like I’m the child who’s in control of how fast the cars move and how the people and trees and houses are all arranged. It’s scary really. Especially because when I finally realize I’m not the one I’m in control. I feel so confused about what happened and what I felt.” — Emmy P.

#pony-boy21 #mental health awareness #depersonalization

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birthdaysentiment · 4 years

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The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #40

Vrijdag 21.03 // "In My Mind" - Dynoro & Gigi D'Agostino

For me, this is one of those clips where I remember where I was and what I was doing when it dropped, because it was the last clip of the season, the last clip we got to see through Robbe's eyes. It's always emotional to say goodbye to a season, to a character that you hold every close to your heart, but it felt different with Robbe, because I felt like I had been living his story too. For 10 episodes, 108 clips in total, I had followed Robbe and felt every one of his emotions; I cried, smiles and laughed with him, and even though it was a crazy and wild ride with many ups and downs, I would do it all over again. Those 10 weeks were some of the most intense and emotional weeks of my life, but they were definitely also some of the best ones as well.

It was emotional to see it all come to an end, to see everyone together for one last party, to get one final scene with Robbe and Sander, where they were just enjoying some time together alone. But I think it's normal to get sentimental and emotional when you have to say goodbye to something or someone, who's been a big part of your life, because it makes you reminisce the journey you've been on, it makes you think back to everything you've experienced for the past ten weeks with Robbe and his story. I think wtFOCK did a good job with the last clip, as it's always difficult, but they managed to create a clip, where we got a chance to get one final glimpse of almost all of the characters, who had been a part of this season, and we also got a very sweet scene between Robbe and Sander, almost as a way to wrap up the final clip and message of Robbe's season.

Robbe and Sander are standing next to each other, as Robbe is sending a message to his mama, letting her know that he has a "lief", and Sander just smiles as he reads the message along with him. In that moment the music changes and a new song fills the background, once again providing a beat to the party and the dancing, a beat that has a heavier and deeper base to it, where the melancholy vibes from the previous song is gone, which makes the scene seem more happy and joyful. It's an interesting contrast, like wtFOCK is saying that it's okay to be sad about the season coming to an end, but before it gets there, let's celebrate one last time.

It's a song we've heard before, as it got used in a trailer for wtFOCK before season 1, but there's something about the use of that song as the last one in season 3, which makes the clip more special. Maybe wtFOCK chose it because of its attachment to the show, maybe it just provided the right atmosphere and feelings to the last minute of the season. Or maybe they chose it because it was supposed to tell and show us, how far Robbe has come from the show's beginning to the end of his own season, or maybe I'm just overanalysing again.

Robbe and Sander are standing in front of each other, talking, smiling and teasing like they always do. Sander lets Robbe know that his mom would like to meet him, but he also warns him that it might get awkward, but as Robbe tells him, as long as Sander wears clothes, nothing will ever be awkward. I really like this little part of the scene, because it somehow shows the trust there is between them, that Robbe feels comfortable enough to joke about Sander's naked-walk, and that Sander can just laugh and smile about it, and not take it for more than it is. I think it gives us a good idea of their relationship, that they feel more at peace with each other, so knowing that they're calmer, more comfortable together and more in love than ever, seems like the best way to say goodbye to them in this season.

They look so in love as they're standing close to each other, holding each other lightly while everyone else is dancing and partying in the background. In that moment, it was just the two of them in their own little bubble, where they were enjoying the touch, feel and presence of each other. They didn't seem to care or pay attention to what was going on around them, because in that moment it was just the two of them.

When they started kissing, once again sharing another passionate and longing kiss, that seemed to take their breath away, I couldn't help but get all emotional, because they're just so in love, they're just so happy to finally be together. And I think it means the world to them, that they can show their love, among friends and family, (even though they might be in a bubble of their own), but for them to know, that they can be themselves, is the most important thing, especially considering they always had to pretend or hide something of themselves in the past. Their journey, both separately and together, towards this moment, has been tough filled with highs and lows, but it's also because of it, that they can be together in this moment, feeling the love all around them.

Robbe breaks the kiss and looks into Sander's eyes as he says: "you know, it might be cliché, but you never know who will be alive tomorrow and who might die. the only thing we know for sure, is…", but before he can finish the sentence, they get pulled out of their little bubble by Jana, who leads them out to the dancefloor. And just as the drop in the song is coming, Robbe says "dat we nu leven". I have always loved the last words of season 3, because it symbolizes so much in terms of Robbe and Sander's relationship, what they have promised each other. They're going to live in the moment, they should not try to think ahead; what will happen tomorrow, or what will happen in the future, because they're alive now, and they should just live it minute by minute.

I think it's such a strong message to end the season with, not only because of the meaning behind it, but also how accurate it is in terms of Robbe's story and the developments he went through. With Robbe's last words, wtFOCK is letting us know how important it is to remember to live in the moment, to enjoy it while it lasts, because you never know what is going to happen in the next minute, tomorrow or in the future. It's important to remember that we're alive now, and how precious that can be, and I think that message connects with Robbe's story so beautifully. How he found peace in his reality by living in the moment, how Robbe discovered the importance of enjoying the moment to its fullest, because he could never know how long it was going to last.

As Robbe is standing in the middle of the room with his arms around Sander, while kissing him passionately, I can't help but think back to the first time we saw Robbe in season 3. How sad and miserable he looked, as he was sitting in the bathtub with Jens and Moyo, smoking weed and drinking alcohol as a way to escape the world around him. Because at that point Robbe was always pretending to be someone else, did everything he could to fit in, but no matter what he did, he always felt left out, like he didn't belong anywhere. But in this clip and moment, as Robbe has his arms around Sander, with his friends all around him, cheering as he kisses Sander, he's in a totally different place, and it makes me so emotional, so proud to see how far he has come. Because in that moment he felt like he belonged in the world, like he finally had found his place in the chaos.

Throughout season 3, Robbe did not only find Sander, someone who loves him deeply, but most importantly, Robbe found himself too. He finally came to peace with the person that he is, with the feelings that was growing inside of him, he began to embrace everything he had been trying to suppress, and during that journey he realized how good life could be, especially if you are true to the person that you are. And Sander played a huge role in that process, because he showed Robbe that he could be living his life in a different way, a way that was much lighter and happier, than the darker and painful version Robbe had turned to. Robbe realized that being himself was the best choice he could make, a choice that brought him so much love and happiness.

I guess that what I've been trying to show, or point out, with my posts is how much thought there's been put into every single detail of season 3, not only in the more important clips, but also in those scenes, which might not seem too essential. How some things just seem to fit so perfectly together, that I refuse to think of it as a coincidence, and not just me totally overanalysing all of it.

Music plays such a huge part in almost everything it's involved in, and season 3 of wtFOCK is definitely no exception. The soundtrack reflects Robbe's story so perfectly, everything he went through and every emotion he felt during those ten weeks. There are so many songs, that just connected with the scene it was featured in, where it truly felt like everything was connecting on a deeper level, which made the experience much more intense and extraordinary. I know that season 3 would have been a totally different experience without the amazing soundtrack, and for me, that's one of the reasons why I hold Robbe's story so close to my heart, because it was absolutely beautiful and wonderful on every possible level.

#wtfock #wtfam #music in wtfock #wtfocksoundtrack #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #sorry for the long post but it's the last one #thank you so so much to everyone who took the time to read my posts #it means the absolute world to me

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lunasilvermorny · 4 years

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When your worst fear come true.

Winter, 1997.

Talbott was the one that got the call.

He stood up almost immediately and ran out of the room to catch Tonks before she leaves.

“Sorry, mate.” Tonks said before he had a chance to say anything. “I know there’s a call, but I have to be somewhere else.”

“It’s-“

“Nope, I’m off the clock. We’ll talk tomorrow-“

“Listen.” He blocked her way, shooting her an extremely serious look. “The address – it’s Luna’s parents’ house.”

Tonks froze and stared at him for a few seconds, before her mind caught up to the severity of the situation. “You mean-?”

“Her father, probably.”

“Oh, no.” Tonks murmured. “Let’s go.”

They didn’t even try to follow procedure, they just left as fast as possible. Three seconds have past before they stood in front of the house. The front door was open and the Dark Mark was floating in the sky a few meters above the roof.

A high-pitched cry cut through the air, followed by loud sobbing. They didn’t wait any longer and went inside, passed through the long corridor and into the large living room. Luna was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, cradling the body of her little sister. Another loud cry burst out of her throat, so intense that it cracked mid-way through and turned into choked shrieks. She wasn’t aware of their presence yet.

Tonks turned to look at the body of the old man that was on the ground half a meter from Luna – it was her father. She and Talbott exchanged looks and without saying a word, managed to have an understanding on how to handle the situation.

With slow steps, Talbott headed toward Luna. He lowered himself to her level; his bent knees supported his weight, as he said with a soft voice- “Luna.”

She jumped away from him, not letting go of her little sister and shoved her wand in front of his face. After a moment of hesitation, she realized who she’s looking at and lowered her wand. Her dirty tears were mixed with make-up and smeared on her cheeks. An expression of complete horror filled her face.

“What happened?” he asked with the same soft voice.

Luna turned to look at Tonks that examined her father’s body and then back at Talbott. She struggled to speak without tears making her choke up, but after a few second of breathing, she said in a trembling voice- “Death Eater. Used the killing curse on them. According to…” her breaths became heavier.

Talbott gently patted her shoulder, whispering- “Take your time.” It helped calm her down enough to keep going.

“According to the state… the state of the bodies…” she wiped out the new tears that emerged from her eyes. “It happened about four hours ago, at least.” She closed her eyes and tightened her grip on her little sister. “The Death Eater left a… a…”

“This.” Tonks said and raised a sheet of paper for Talbott to see. “But I don’t think it was intentional, because it looks like some sort of code.”

Luna’s expression turned from horrified to enraged.

“It’s because of me.” She whispered in an accusatory tone.

“Luna-“ Tonks started to say, but Luna cut her off immediately.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you!” Luna roared. “It’s your fault – THE ORDER’S FAULT!”

“No, it’s-“

“What? A coincidence?!” Luna said furiously. “They knew I help you! That’s why they killed her!”

Tonks looked helpless. Tears starting to fill her eyes as well, but she managed to get a hold of her emotions in time. “No, Luna-“

“SHUT UP!” Luna screamed at her from the top of her lungs and Tonks fell silence.

“Maybe you should get that paper to evidence.” Talbott said calmly, his voice was firm but still compassionate.

Tonks seemed like she didn’t want to leave, but after a few more seconds of silence, nodded her head and apparated.

Luna turned to look at Talbott, tears running down her cheeks again. “I did this.” She started trembling.

Talbott wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. “I know how you feel right now.” She was about to say something, but he repeated- “I know.” Their eyes met and were locked in a gaze that expressed the same guilt and pain. They both knew how it feels to lose their family to the Death Eaters.

Luna lowered her head, leaned on his shoulder and started sobbing again. It was a quite cry. A defeated cry.

After Luna managed to calm down again, Talbott asked- “Where are Jana and Lilia?”

“Gone.” Luna said quietly, unintentionally, because she lost a significant amount of her vocal abilities by exhausting her vocal chords. “Not in the house, but all of their belongings are still here.”

“We’ll find them.” Talbott said. “Alive.” He added when he saw the helpless look on her face.

She shook her head. “They’re dead, I know it.”

“No, they’re not.” He insisted. “I will do everything I can, I swear.”

Luna kept shaking her head, but didn’t say anything else. She knew that Talbott is patiently waiting for her to get over the initial shock, so he could bring a unit to examine the crime scene.

“You can’t be on this case.” She said suddenly. “If the moles knew you’re here-“

“Do you really think Death Eaters haven’t came after me already?” he said with a bitter smile. “Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

“If you die in this house too-“

“No one else is going to die.” He reassured her, gently smearing the fresh tears off her cheeks. “We won’t let them get away with it.”

“No,” Luna shook her head and slowly pulled away from him, still holding onto Olivia’s body. “No, it’s my fault. You will die, everyone will die-!”

“Luna.” He said with a firm voice, but the hysteria got the better of her.

“They know. They’re watching me. I have to disappear. That’s the only way.”

“They were after your father regardless.”

“But Olivia!” She whisper-screamed in panic. “They killed her to send a message!”

“We don’t know that yet-“

“I have to go. You have to go!”

He never saw her like this. Even in the worst situations, Luna was always able to keep a calm appearance and stay levelheaded. Losing her entire family in one day was a shock too extreme to handle, even for someone as strong as her.

She quickly pushed herself to her feet, still hanging onto her dead sister, holding her in her arms like an overgrown child. Talbott followed her, but tried to keep a small distance so not to startle her.

“Funeral.” She murmured. “We have to do it quickly.”

“Luna, let’s put Olivia on the couch for a moment-“

Luna turned her back at him and started to walk from the point she was standing to the nearest wall and back.

“We can’t have it out in the open, it has to remain a secret. There’s a muggle-church nearby-“

“Luna, give me Olivia.” Talbott said and tried to remain calm, even though he started to feel the burden of her pain too. Seeing his closest friend in this condition was heartbreaking.

She ignored him. “I… I have a phone. I can call them. I need to find a spot where the magic won’t block the signal.”

“Stop for a second.” He reached out to her, but she dodged his touch.

“Maybe cremation would be the best option-“

“Luna, stop!” he snapped and grabbed her by the wrist. She looked like she’s just woke up from a dream.

“I… I…” she wasn’t able to finish the sentence.

“I know.” He said and very slowly and gently put his arms around Olivia and pulled her from her big sister’s grasp. He laid her down on the couch and got back to Luna, that buried her face in her palms.

“I’ll help with the funeral, we’ll do it as quickly as you want, but first I have to-“

“Yes.” Luna interrupted, lowering her hands and turn to look straight at him. Her gaze was almost soulless. “You need to examine the bodies.”

“I know you probably want to do it yourself, but you’re not in the right state of mind right now.” He pulled her into another embrace. “If we want to catch these fuckers, we have to do it right.”

Luna sighed loudly and wrapped her arms around his torso.

“Fine, I understand.” She said in a monotone voice. “But I’m not leaving them.”

“There’s no need for that.” He said. “You can stay here the whole time, and I’ll be here too. I promise.”

With another long sigh coming out of her mouth, Talbott knew he got through to her.

-----

I know it’s a bit cliche to say that you can split Luna’s life in two - before she lost her family and after she lost her family, but it also very realistic, since a trauma at this scale can change anyone forever.

She was never the same, especially because she lost Olivia as well - the only person she believed could live a happy and normal life out of her entire family.

Also, I know Jacob is absent, it’s because right now he has two potential paths that I haven’t decided on yet - the first where he dies and the second where he survives... You can call him Schrödinger's cat until I pick one. Either way, he wasn’t there when she found the bodies or had the funeral, so in any case he’s irrelevant.

I wrote a bit more about the situation, but I’ll save it for another post!

For those who read the whole thing - I hope you liked it!

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juniaships · 3 years

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Vanessa Marble-Whittaker Bio **redux**

I had to delete the old post due to spelling mistakes and to add more info, but here is the official character bio for my AIO OC....possibly the only one in existence 😅 Contains spoilers and subject matter of abuse & postpartum depression; if you're curious you might have to do look into the main story arcs of AIO for easier understanding.

Full Name: Vanessa Crystal Marble Whittaker (nee Marble;)

Age: Unspecified but around late 20s to mid 30s

Birthday: May 15th

Race: African American (with European ancestry on both sides)

Fandom: Adventures in Odyssey

Voice Claim: Cree Summer; Vivica A. Fox is also a good alternate

Character Role: Heroine & love interest/spouse of Jason Whittaker

Items: Cross necklace, Midnight Manor (formerly Blackgaard's Castle)

Relationships

Family: Robienne Marble (mother), Regis Blackgaard (father), Edwin Blackgaard (uncle), Jerry Jr. (son, infant), John Whittaker (father in law), Monty (nephew in law), Jana (sister in Law)

Friends at Whit's End: Whit, Eugene, Connie, Katrina, Angel (pet doberman)

Acquaintances: Nuns, denizens of Odyssey

Love Interest: Her primary love interest and eventual husband is Jason Whittaker. They began as tensse & awkward relationship during the Blackgaard Saga duento their contrasting personalities, before becoming close friends and allies. They do not become completely official until after Novacom. Their relationship is regarded as the bonafide example of "Opposites Attract" in Odyssey.

Enemies: While enemies are far and few, she considers her own father as the major obstacle between her and a peaceful life. She was a major player against Novacom. She had a brief yey tense rivalry with Monica Stone (partly for Jason's affections) but the two made peace at the end.

Appearance

- Average height (say, 5'7)

-Brown skin, light brown eyes, and wavy-curly black hair

-Has an average body type (pear shaped) and seemed to gain a few pounds since giving birth

-Typically were darker shades of purple, blue, with the occasional maroon

-Sense of fashion is put together, professional even if casual

- Still has her nun fatigues

Personality

Vanessa is a composed and reserved lady with a deep connection to God, while respecting other religions (and non religious). While seen as a cold person at first glance, she is actually very kind and open-minded, though she isn't immune to making sardonic comments once in a while. While not really great around kids, she has moments of being supportive. After becoming a mother she is rather clueless, though well-meaning and tries her hardest to be the parent her father wasn't.

One of her biggest obstacle is overcoming her aloof demeanor. She needed to learn to open up to others and to out faith in her new friends. Even now she still has her moments of keeping her true emotions, though she has a wide circle of friends and a spouse to talk to. Vanessa was also ashamed of her Blackgaard blood, though she learns to come to terms with her past in order to create a brighter future for herself and the rest of her family. Sometimes she is prone to feeling inadequate and jealous, especially during brief periods of romantic rivalry.

There is a fierce protective side that comes out when loved ones are threatened, as seen with the Blackgaard and Novacom Sagas. She dislikes staying on the sidelines and does whatever she can to help out. She even broke her vows to protect her mother Robienne when Regis came into town, and later inspired her uncle Edwin to stay and fight her father to help save Odyssey.

While studious snd intelligent, Vanessa is not very tech savvy, naturally preferring traditional mediums such as writing letters and books. While she learns how to use computers and cellphones, don't expect her to be a technophile anytime soon. She expresses curiosity and concerns over the next invention hubby makes.

Abilities

Vanessa can memorize a lot a bible verses which she uses as prayer, or as a quip. She also has taken self defense classes to hold her her own.

- Strengths: In her early years she proved to be surprisingly strong and fast when need be. She can adapt to certain situations and keep her cool. Clever and resourceful, Vanessa often thinks and plans her actions. She can speak three languages (Spanish, French, and Mandarin Chinese) and plans om studying more.

- Weaknesses: After pregnancy she isn't as physically strong and has to limit herself to recover, and can be overpowered by much stronger foes. Vanessa is not very good at advanced technology, and she is a bad cook (Jason keeps her away from the stove as much as possible).

Backstory Vanessa was the only child of Regis and Robienne Blackgaard. Their marriage had be a short and rocky one marred by neglect, emotional manipulation and mental abuse. Finally, on the guidance of Edwin (Regis's brother) Robienne decided she had enough and divorced Regis when Vanessa was two years old. Robienne moved her daughter to New England to be with family, and the two lived peacefully after that. After graduating high school, Vanessa went to the nunnery and stayed there for a few years, while Robienne moved to the Midwest to pursue a career in teaching.

However Vanessa soon grew discontent, feeling as though she was missing out on normal young adult life. Should she stay as a nun or forge her own path?

She would find clues to her answer in the form of receiving news about her father moving to Odyssey - the same town her mother lived. Fearing for her mother's life, Vanessa requested a temporary break in vows, family business, she had said. Settling in Odyssey (under the surname Newman) she got a job working at Whit's End and as a private tutor.

Following major and minor events including the Blackgaard, Novacom, and Green Ring Conspiracy drama, Jason proposed to Vanessa, and they had a summer wedding (but not before overcoming premarital jitters and a threat from Jason's past). Two years after their union (or as of current Odyssey storyline) they had a little boy named Jerry Jr. (named after Jason's deceased brother). Vanessa continues to work at Whit's End as a curator and artist.

Major Storylines: If she was canon she would've been a major player in some of Odyssey's biggest stories including:

- Blackgaard Saga: Her debut, she came to town to take care of her mother & to confront her father on troubled past. She was hired to work at Whit's End where she met then-owner Jack Allen & the previous owner's son Jason for the first time. The townsfolk were.mesmerized by the seemingly mysterious woman and rumors started to abound. Near the climax, Vanessa revealed to Connie and Eugene that came to Odyssey to protect her mother from Regis. Towards the end of the saga, she, her uncle Edwin, and a few townsfolk helped to set up a trap for her father to save Odyssey.

Novacom Saga: She was a big player in taking down Novacom, using her skills writing letters to raise awareness on Novacom's shady actions. This is where her rivalry with Monica Stone began as Vanessa feelings for Jason turn romantic. After Novacom, she would be involved in more stories.

Green Ring Conspiracy: Following Jason's supposed "death" she briefly left Odyssey in mourning. Her uncle and mother managed to convince her to come back to Odyssey. She was unaware of Jason's secret of being alive and working as the Stiletto, and had several encounters with the Stiletto where the mysterious man left her roses and notes of endearment. The two would later reunite after Jason retuned to town, but Vanessa was angry with him for keeping secrets from her. After a long time (and counsel from Whit) she forgave him, and the two reconciled with the promise of being more open with each other.

Courtship Of Jason & Vanessa: An original storyline where the romance between her and Jason comes full circle, leading to their engagement! If only they could overcome personal inhibitions, a hateful doberman, past rivals and a threat from Jason's spy work!

Junior's Birth & Beyond: A couple of years into their marriage Vanessa became pregnant. She was anxious over multiple scenarios, her growing appetite and mood swings. After her son was born she developed symptoms of postpartum depression and sought medications and therapy. Slowly but surely, her mental health improved, & her anxieties faded away. As of now she has gotten involved with the current Rydell Saga.

Trivia

Vanessa won several awards for her artwork and has them on display everywhere in Odyssey

She is one of my most complex characters, but also one starting to really grow on me mostly out of nostalgia for the series

- Characters that inspired Vanessa's creation are Megara (Disney Hercules), Rei/Sailor Mars (Sailor Moon), Esther (biblical stories), Tzipporah (biblical stories esp. Dreamworks The King of Egypt), Talia Al Ghul, and Elisa Maza (Gargoyles). Other inspos include Maria Von Trapp and Marian Ravenwood.

- Vanessa was made to have a unique female character to contrast Connie and Katrina. Also because I have a soft spot for the Forbidden Love trope (if done right).

- She is the only main character OC of mine that is explicitly religious. She was Catholic and while she converted to Protestant, she still holds on to Catholic values. She is also the only main OC to be a parent as of current.

- Vanessa still visits her old nunnery when she and Jason goes to New England.

- She has bouts of postpartum depression, and takes medication to regulate.

- Her favorite things are the color blue, making her own pigments, and coffee flavored ice cream

Quotes

"Blackgaard already made our lives miserable uncle Edwin! If you leave now you're only giving him more power! You helped mama and I so many times, so it's my turn to return the favor!"

"Connie I'm a nun not a miracle worker."

"If my mother superior saw what I'm doing right now I would've had an early meeting with the Lord!"

"No more secrets. From now on it's just truth and nothing but the truth. Except for my age, don't ask me how old I am."

"Sheesh with all these buttons I'm surprised we didn't destroy Odyssey yet!"

"Jason I know you're worried about the baby but did you have to baby proof the doghouse too?"

"My little Angel! Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl!"

"I can't believe I can still wear this after all these years!?"

"Jason Whittaker you have got to be the most stubborn, reckless, foolhardy man I have ever met, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You call it junk I call it avant garde."

"I'm not responsible for my father's sins but I am responsible for mine. But my mother and uncle are in trouble. If not for me then please, do it for them!"

"She doesn't hate you Jason, she hates everyone equally."

"I guess God had a plan in store for me after all. I would've never met such wonderful people."

"Are you going to keep talking or should I start the kissing?"

Pictures

I haven't drawn any references for her yet, so that's going to be on a separate post

#adventures in odyssey #aio radio #blackgaard saga #novacom saga #green ring conspiracy #canon x oc #oc x canon #jason x oc #jason whittaker #oc: vanessa marble #oc bio #adventures in odyssey radio show #aio #i wanna make aio more inclusive and less er 'christian propaganda' i still enjoy the series tho

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sparkythehappygiraffe · 4 years

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AIO Character Enneagram Types

Idk if y’all are into the enneagram, but I think it’s kinda fun so here we are. I’m no expert, but these are just some of my thoughts:

Eugene-Type 5 (possibly with a 6 wing): I think Eugene is pretty easy to type. He’s super intellectual, inventive, and enjoys pursuing knowledge. He tends to be a little eccentric, and is very independent and innovative. He can also become reclusive because he fears being incompetent and often struggles with relating to people emotionally. We see these struggles very clearly in his relationship with Buck, as he finds it difficult to open up to him. However, when he finally does, the vulnerability reveals a strength and maturity of character and creates a much stronger relationship to Buck. He’s pretty much the definition of a healthy five.

Connie-Type 7w6: Connie’s a little trickier than Eugene, but I think 7 makes the most sense. She’s joyful, optimistic, values freedom, and seeks fulfillment in life. She has a natural charisma, especially with the kids, that attracts people to her. She can also be very scattered, disorganized, and distractible. The wing 6 accounts for her loyalty, her tendency to be anxious, and her need for security. Although I could see Connie being typed as a 2, I think the episodes that show her character before she became a Christian point more towards a type 7. (Generally the servanthood of a type 2 is the most valued among Christians, so those ideals can often lead to them, especially Christian women, being mistyped as a 2, despite that not being their innate personality). A case could certainly be made for her as a 2 (and probably also as a 4), but I finally decided that 7 made the most sense to me.

Whit-Type 1w2: Whit is such a well-rounded “perfect” character, that typing was pretty difficult for me, again the Christian tendency to value type 2 traits also made this tricky, so episodes that involve Whit as a younger, more flawed person were what I had to base some of this off of. Whit has an incredibly strong moral compass and constantly strives for improvement. He is wise, discerning, compassionate, an excellent teacher, and an inspiring leader. He sometimes deals with resentment and being a little self-righteous, even angry when his decisions are questioned (e.g. with Jana or Wilson). He stands up for what he believes in and for people who need help. He is also passionate, self-disciplined, and an advocate for truth and justice. These traits all lead me to see him as a 1w2, but if you can argue for another type, go for it, I think an argument could be made for several other types (3, 5, or 6 specifically).

Jack Allen-Type 9: Jack is actually the reason I decided to make this list because he is the NINEST NINE TO EVER NINE. He is stable, agreeable, and supportive, but his desire to keep the peace often leads to complacency. He avoids conflict at all costs and tends to seek peace in the spiritual. He is very profound and patient with others and he is good at bringing other people together. We especially see his tendency to avoid conflict in his interactions with Jason when they butt heads while running Whit’s End. His nine-ness is also very clear in the episode “And That’s the Truth” from album 43 when he can’t bring himself to confront PJ about the quality of his work. If you tell me Jack is anything other than a 9 I will probably fight you.

Jason-Type 3: Jason is a pretty straight-forward 3. He’s charming, confident, adaptable, ambitious, and driven. He pushes himself to do every task to the best of his abilities. He often struggles with arrogance, his competitive nature, a restlessness that stems from his ambition, and his tendency to obsess over his work. He has a strong desire to help others, but sometimes his desire to be “the hero” of a situation undermines him. We especially see Jason as an unhealthy 3 in episodes like “A Touch of Healing” and “Shining Armor.” As we currently know him in the series, Jason hasn’t quite reached the level of a healthy 3 as we still see him struggle with workaholism and with a tendency to run away from his emotions. His time in “the labyrinth” clearly effected his mental health and set him back significantly in the growth he had previously shown, but he has begun to show growth again during his recent time in Odyssey and at the antique shop.

Wooton-Type 4w5: Wooton’s eccentricity pretty clearly points to him being a type 4. He’s extremely creative, self-aware, and true to himself. He shows a desire to impact the world around him in a unique and significant way. He can be very profound, and uses his art to express the beauty he sees in the world. He has also shown an ability to take everything he has experienced, both positive and negative, and grow from it. He finds the value in every experience. The deep emotion he experiences help him to feel empathy and compassion for those around him and express it in a way that they find helpful and comforting. He also has a unique but specific and easily recognizable aesthetic, like many of his fellow type 4s. I could also see him being typed as a 2 because of his love for people and his deep need to be around them, but his artistic nature is why I lean more towards 4.

Penny-Type 6w7: Although I could also type Penny as a 4, there are a few specific traits that I feel make her more of a type 6. She is committed, loves people, and deeply values reliability and trust in her relationships. She tends to be very anxious, doubtful, and defensive when she feels uncomfortable or stressed, as well as becoming very indecisive and overly cautious when facing decisions that make her feel pressured. When she feels confident in a situation, she is willing to stand up for others, helping them feel seen and heard when they otherwise wouldn’t. When she feels strongly about a cause, she devotes all of her time and energy to it. She cares very deeply about people and is naturally very sociable and spirited.

That’s all for now. What do you guys think? Do you agree or disagree with my typing? I may do a part 2 with Tom, Bernard, Katrina, and other characters that I didn’t fit into this one. Let me know what you think! :)

#enneagram #aio #adventures in odyssey #eugene meltsner #connie kendall #john avery whittaker #jason whittaker #jack allen #wooton bassett #penny bassett #low key i roasted jason lol #i swear i didnt mean to

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evak-elu-nicotino · 4 years

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Alt er love week is upon us !

Okay, so, I missed the first day yesterday, therefore I’m catching up on it today !

1. favorite remake or season

Ooooooh tough one.

I loved every remake because they all have something beautiful and special about them.

My favorite season in OG was OBVIOUSLY season three, because I connected with so much with Isak and Even’s story, on so many levels. It’s refreshing to see a love story like this brought to screens, and it doesn’t matter how many times I’ll watch LGBTQ+ love storylines unfold, I’ll always be profoundly moved. That’s just the way it its !

Isak’s story is important, Even’s even more because it finally shines a light on how it is to live with bipolar (and that’s why I’m so sad we’ll never get an Even season...PLEASE JULIE PLEASE COME BACK and make an Even season !)

As far as the remakes go, wow.

First remake I ever watched was SKAM Italia, and I don’t think I need to tell you how much I fell in love with Martino, due to Fede’s brilliant acting. So I just binged season one in its entirety, and then waited for season two with baited breath. I don’t think I knew, at the time, that season 2 was indeed gonna be Martino’s, and not Eleonora’s, because the first episode aired I literally screamed with joy to my computer (who didn’t care very much, haha !)

Then SKAM France, and I didn’t really like the first two seasons, they were kinda meeeh...But then the third season happened ! I never thought I’d like Lucas and Eliott this much though !

I didn’t really connect with SKAM Austin though, but maybe I need to give it another try, I don’t know. I remember watching the first episodes and not being in love with it...

Then I watched SKAM España, and loved the fact that Cris and Joana are Isak and Evak’s versions. It’s brilliant ! Loved the fact that they’re girls where every other remake (except for SKAM Austin) made Isak and Even guys as well.

Recently, very recently, I might add, during lockdown, I ended up watching (part of) the three remakes I hadn’t seen yet.

I started with WTfock, aka SKAM Belgium; and season 3 sure is a rollercoaster, but dammit, I think it’s one of my favorite remakes. I loved WTfockdown as well ! Sander and Robbe have an amazing chemistry (I can’t recall how many times I’ve said this, but it’s so true !) I ended up binging season 1 & 2 shortly after having watched Robbe’s season as well as WTfockdown. Also, this remake has THE BEST FUCKING SOUNDTRACK EVER ! And it’s also full of amazing characters. Jana is a really strong Eva, Zoë is out of this world, Senne is the best William in the entire SKAMverse, and don’t even get me started on Milan ! Wow, the love I have for this guy is just ridiculous. Milan is fantastic, probably the best Eskild remake I’ve seen (although I didn’t make it to the second seasons of Austin and NL, but...yeah). On the downside, Moyo is a dickhead. Yeah, I watched the whole remake, every single episode of it, and even at the end of season 3 and in WTfockdown, when he redeems himself, I’m still angry at him for treating Robbe the way he did. He’s an asshole all the way back to season one, where he makes fun of Robbe for being gay, insults him on a regular basis...Yeah, I know he apologized, but to be honest, I think he’s the worst Mahdi remake of all the SKAMverse. I’m sorry for saying so, but he made such a bad impression on me...Wow.

Then I fell in love with Druck, aka SKAM Germany, which is SO GOOD ! I didn’t expect to like Matteo’s season as much as I did, to be honest. In the first two seasons I wasn’t really intrigued by his character, not as much I was curious to get Martino, Robbe, Lucas (in SKAM France, because we have so many Lucases in the SKAMverse !) or Isak; but Matteo turned out to be a waaaay more interesting character than I initially thought ! And his love story with David is SO GOOD ! Okay, first of all, they changed the bipolar/BPD we found in OG and every other remake who made it to Isak’s season (RIP SKAM Austin & NL...), to make David a transgender character. Can I just say how amazing this change is ? It’s not only a brilliant idea, it brilliantly acted as well ! And once again, because representation matters so much, the fact that Lukas is a transgender actor as well is important. I think they did justice to Isak and Even in OG, Michelangelo and Lukas were nothing short of perfect in season 3 !

The last remake I started to watch is SKAM NL. I’ll start by saying that I’m flabbergasted that the show was cancelled. Honestly, I haven’t even finished season one yet, but the cast is amazing, the characters are BRILLIANT (can we talk about Janna ? Engel ? Liv ? Lucas ?), they’re nothing short of amazing, and it utterly breaks my heart that Lucas won’t get to meet the love of his life (although I know he did through fanfiction, thank you Jens for being a bisexual icon in our heads !)

Truth is, I fell in love with every remake who ever did an Evak season, to be honest. They all have very strong characters, none of them look like an Isak or an Even copy, and that’s really the beauty of it !

I’d say, my favorite remake is probably a mix of Druck, WTfock, and SKAM Italia. I can’t pick just one of the three, but it definitely comes down to these ones !

2. favorite character or ship

Hmmm.

I’m gonna go with both answers.

Favorite character is Martino in SKAM Italia. I don’t even have to think about it. Ii love a LOT of characters in the SKAMverse, and there are several I love to pieces, see below :

But Martino has my heart. Even though Robbe, Milan, Noora, Sana (in OG), Filippo and Giovanni aren’t that far behind him !

Favorite ship is (once again, what a surprise !) Martino and Niccolò from SKAM Italia. They’re one of my favorite Evak version. They just fit so beautifully together, I love how domestic they are, how at ease they are with each other, and they’re still best friends at the same time. Season 4 was painful to watch, but the ending got me emotional. Exactly the way I wanted that season to end.

#alt er love #alterloveweek #alt er love week #text post #favorite skam character #favorite skam ship #favorite skam season #favorite skam remake #this is long af #sorry !

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miracleanchor · 4 years

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Things Parents Should NEVER Say If They Want to Raise Empowered Daughers.

Remember that words have the power to wound, irreparably. What parents say matters, so be careful what you say if you want to raise confident daughters. Growing up in Indian households comes with its own issues. Growing up as a girl in Indian households is another matter altogether. Even today, there are some statements that have become so hideously commonplace in Indian families, that our elders either do not, or cannot understand the enormous impact these statements have on the psyche of young girls and children in general. Here are 4 examples of seemingly innocuous statements that are thrown at girls in Indian households, without a thought and understanding, which need to be banned immediately. “Behave like a girl. Don’t talk back!” Behave like a girl. Don’t talk back! (Ladkiyon jaise raho. Ulta jawab mat do / zabaan mat ladao) What does this even mean – to behave like a girl? How do we define what ‘behaving like a girl’ entails? Is it to be submissive? Comformative? Meek? Feminine? This reeks of the same stereotype that is used for the other gender – ‘Be a Man.’ Children who are constantly berated for talking back, or expressing their opinions out loud, are brainwashed into thinking that it is ‘unbecoming’ to argue (in case of women), or cry (in case of men); these children grow up to develop an inferiority complex so strong, that they cannot even raise their voices in opposition to wrong things. These children bear the weight of this nonsensical societal expectations of what a girl is, or what a man is, for the rest of their lives. In the case of women, this conditional suppression of their ability to speak up for themselves and stand for their own well being is one of the primary reasons behind their consistent subjugation. Not knowing any better, young girls adopt meekness, considering it to be a virtue, even at the cost of their lives. Is it inherent and internalized prejudice that leads us to assume girls as being somehow weaker or inferior than boys, even if they are not? Or to assume that expressing emotion, or crying, are somehow specifically feminine traits? If yes, this needs to stop now. Children do not have to bear the burden of their parents’ ideologies and prejudices. Let them discover what ‘behaving like a girl’ or ‘being a man’, means for themselves. “Daughters are someone else’s property, their real home is their husband’s” Daughters are someone else’s property. The home of their biological parents is not their home after all, their REAL homes are the ones they will have after marriage. (Betiyan toh paraya dhan hoti hain. Jab tak ho yahan theek hai, fer toh apne ghar jana hai.) I cannot believe parents still say this to their daughters. Why? It’s like adopting a child and then reminding that child every single day that they are adopted; where they are right now. I envy the girls who did not have to hear this thrown at them in their childhood. Even in jest, this is a statement that cuts to the bones of daughters. If you are a woman, reading this here, imagine for a second how it makes you feel. Does it remind you how much it hurt to hear your own parents say this to you when you were young? Why would any parent allow their own children to suffer from the same fate? Daughters are not things to be owned or possessed; they are individuals, human beings in their own right. Please stop. Never let children feel that they do not belong at their home, with their parents. Their REAL homes are wherever they choose to call their homes. Learn to cook. How will you feed your husband? Learn to cook. How will you feed your husband? In-laws will say your mother has not taught you anything. We are bearing all your tantrums, your in-laws will not suffer them. (Khana banana seekh lo. Pati ko kya khilaoge? Sasuraal wale kahenge maa ne kuch sikhaya nahi. Hum jhel rahe hain tumhare nakhre, sasural me koi nahi jhelega.) Learning to cook for oneself is a skill that everyone must acquire. Women are not born with the guidebook to be a MasterChefs. Having the capability to cook and feed oneself is not a gender specific trait, it is survival. Husbands do not need to be fed by their wives; nor do the in-laws. Threatening your daughters with the supposed repercussions they will face at the hands of their in-laws, is a poor way to handle their tantrums; it is just a way to delegate responsibility for your children to someone else. This not only sows the seed of doubt and fear in the hearts of young girls, regarding the whole institution of marriage, but also paints a poor picture of what they should be expecting from their future relatives. A peace based on fear, is no peace. Cooking and cleaning are not the only maternal legacies that matter. There are a horde of more significant traits that mothers can pass on to their daughters, like courage, determination, self-love and empathy. If you cannot cook and clean for yourself, you need some basic survival skills training asap; not a wife or daughter-in-law. Education is important, irrespective of gender and house-work is important, irrespective of gender.

Don’t wear such clothes. Good girls don’t talk to boys or stay out at night. Don’t wear such clothes. You look like a slut, a prostitute. Why are you wearing make-up? For whom? Good girls don’t talk to boys or stay out at night. They come home early. (Kaise kapde pehne hain? Vaishya lag rahi ho. Kiske liye kar rahe ho ye makeup? Achi ladkiyan ladkon se baatein nahi karti, raat ko bahar nahi ghumti. Jaldi ghar wapis aati hain.)

Although I admit that this is one of the many ways in which Indian parents warn their daughters of the atrocious crimes being committed against women, and I admit that it is extremely important to prepare our daughters to face a world where the dangers of assault are extremely real; I do not agree that this is how this subject should be approached. Believe it or not, daughters are going to come across pop culture sometime or other. They are going to be exposed to what is cool and what is not, they are going to be influenced by the generalised beauty standards of the world. There is nothing parents can do to stop that. What can be done, is to never aggressively deny or demean their choices of attire or make up. Let daughters wear whatever they want to, let them experiment with make-up however they want to. Remember that words have the power to wound, irreparably. What parents say matters. Never compare or judge daughters as ‘sluts’ or ‘prostitutes’; remember that children invariably end up doing exactly what is forbidden. It is always better to convey positive criticism and use words like – this dress does not suit you, or it does not flatter you like this other one – Be very careful of the words used, when speaking to your children. Parents must be open to uncomfortable conversations; no subject should be off-the-table. If children have questions, answer them in the best way possible; if you do not know, tell them that you do not know and attempt to find the best approach together. There is a veritable goldmine of information out there, FIGURE IT OUT. Because, children will find out about these things, one way or another, in today’s world of information overload, it is impossible to protect children from the ‘bad stuff’. The best way to prepare them for the world is to stay one step ahead of other sources; be approachable, discuss, educate. Create awareness of the potential dangers, so daughters can be willing partners in taking measures to protect themselves. Why this is important? Even in today’s so called progressive society, there is an inordinate amount of pressure being exerted on girls for marriage. We are raising daughters (girls in general) to aspire for marriage, and at the same time, we are not raising our sons to aspire for it. The value that women derive from the institution of marriage is far more than that of their male counterparts. This is the reason why there is a far greater number of women who choose to compromise and stay in abusive and toxic marriages, as compared to men. There is a vast difference in the values which we are instilling in our daughters and in our sons. The weight of expectation that we put on our daughters and women is blatantly unrealistic and unfair; and will eventually break them. We have to bring in change, and we have to bring it now. We need to know that if we want to raise strong, independent, self-respecting women, we must treat them as such; and at the same time, raise our sons to be strong, independent, self-respecting men. We must be willing to put in the effort and we must be wary of the words we use. The fate of the world lies in the hands of our children; and our children are our responsibilities.

#parentingempoweredwomendaughtersofIndiapatriacrchyconditioning

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flying-elliska · 5 years

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soooo about s2 of WTFock ;

- I get why everyone likes Zoe and Senne. They are just adorable together. They have so much more chemistry than the OG ; Senne shows actual emotion instead of staring blankly, Zoe just keeps smiling when he’s around, I found myself rooting for them even though I still found Senne’s behavior questionnable in the beginning. The sleepover scene w them making fun of the guitar playing cliché was so fun

- the cinematography really stepped up and there are a lot of nice compositions and color schemes, very fitting around Zoe herself, more light/pale with flashes of color

- I think this is the story that OG s2 wanted to be. Bad boy learns to let out the decent parts of his personality instead of the fuckboi ; cool aloof girl learns to let ppl in. Senne shows some actual growth ; he recognizes he’s an asshole, he makes moves to be good and caring towards Zoe ; he recognizes that using violence was wrong, that he just freaked out because he was protective over his friend ; he supports Zoe in putting up a complaint against his brother. I like the part where he compares himself to his brother because he has some similar impulses towards anger but in the end he says his brother can’t just get away with anything. I think this shows that Senne is capable of change and that even if he started off very deeply steeped in toxic masculinity he’s capable of getting out of it. I believed also that they could be good for each other as a couple, that he sees beyond her attempts to distance herself from everything because he’s very similar, they grew up with very little affection and it’s so heartwarming to see them find that in each other. I liked the discussions w Milan and Amber as additional insights into Senne’s personality, that he is actually this caring and sometimes scared guy who was taught how to adopt a fucked up façade.

- I really like the actress that plays Zoe, she imbues the role with a lot of nuance and vulnerability and you really feel for her. That said, I wanted more of who the character is beyond her feelings for Senne, she felt a bit flat at times.

- I like the characters individually but i’m just not feeling the girl squad as a group. they took out a lot of the scenes that made it the best part of OG s2, like the scene where Vilde tells Noora to eat potatoes, or that scene where they march to the doctor together. Also what the fuck was that with Jana wanting to find out if Robbe is gay, this made me outright dislike her like when will this finally be said that someone’s sexuality is none of anyone’s business until they decide to come out...s3 I hope

- that said i will never be the biggest fan of S2 and it still includes too many messages that I find problematic ; the way it sets up a previously strong feminist character to ‘get over herself’ and put her principles into question for a guy as if this was just a question of ‘looking at it from both sides’ (ew), the way the love interest is introduced as strong arming her into getting to know her and constantly interprets her no as a maybe...i just can’t get myself to find it romantic it’s just too much straight nonsense for me. Also the structure of the season just gets very repetitive after a while when she’s constantly ignoring him and then not and vice versa....and why is the fact that Zoe was hella drunk during the party makes her ability to consent to sleeping w anyone even if she ‘initiated’ it, non existent ?

that said it’s the first noorhelm that i am actually rooting for and him moving with her was too cute and i really hope they stay together

also they watched Eurovision because it’s bad which is extremely valid european culture

#wtfock

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pickledchickenetti · 5 years

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So I’ve had something on my mind for the last week or two that I’ve been trying to figure out how to best start a post about and coming up short. We all know that I have a tendency to be long-winded, and some of this post is going to be stream of consciousness, at least moreso than my usual longer posts, which I usually wait to start until I have a pretty solid idea of what I want to say and how I want to say it. I may go back and edit this some at the end, I may not, probably depends on how it comes out. (Edited at the end to add: I’m not editing anything. It’s long and I’m not expecting anyone to force themselves through it, but thanks to those who do!) Since this is partially me using my blog as a place to ruminate on some things, I’m going to put it under a read more for those who don’t want to have it clogging up their dashboard.

Lately I’ve had a lot of mixed feelings regarding social media and what voices and mindsets I allow to be a part of my everyday life. I put a lot of effort into carefully treading the line between taking unnecessary negativity out of my social media feeds and creating an echo chamber where I only see people who agree with me. Most of the time, the decision comes down to the tone and intent. If someone is consistently rude, angry, or condescending, with very little useful contribution to any conversation I unfollow them. This applies to people on Facebook who constantly use slurs, post hateful things about people with opposing beliefs or political stances (even if I generally agree with that person’s beliefs or stances) with little attention to facts, and it also applies to people here are just needlessly rude with no real contributions to the overall conversation.

The older I get, the more I find choosing kindness to be a priority in my life. I’m not perfect; I fully admit there are still times when I’m rude or condescending. Sometimes this is an accident, and unfortunately sometimes it isn’t. I don’t like this, and I try especially hard not to be intentionally condescending. Kindness is a choice, and progress takes time.

As I’m sure most of you know, I am often very critical of @kristagay‘s posts. I still stand by many, possibly even most, of the opinions I’ve shared. Kindness is important to me, but it’s also important to me to not let other people’s hurtful words or actions go unchecked when I have the ability to say/do something. (This applies to everyone in my radar, not just Krista.) I have very strong opinions on a number of subjects, but it’s especially important to me to speak up in defense of others in the LGBTQA community as that’s a community I belong to and those struggles are more personal to me.

A little while back, I got a string of anons (many were answered, some were deleted) that made it seem like someone was trying to create some sort of feud between me and Krista. As I said in one of the posts at that time, I was under no illusion that Krista was reading any of my posts that didn’t tag her directly, and had no interest in any sort of feud. Krista does not follow me, and in general does not seem to interact much on Tumblr beyond asks to her and posts she is directly tagged in (or reblogs/comments on her posts of course). I would likely be the same way if I stumbled onto a community of people discussing every little detail of people I was friends with in real life. I would want to set the record straight and defend my friends while also respecting their privacy, and as a result I doubt I’d interact much anyway. I respect her choice to not discuss them at all, even the things seen on TV, and hope she will continue to make that choice no matter how annoying people asking her for info might get. (And to Pickles and anyone else who has crossed the line and sent her intentionally inflammatory messages/questions about the Duggars or hate for the sake of hate, please kindly delete your accounts and learn how to interact with actual humans in a respectful way.)

When I got the string of anons asking me about Krista, I took a step back and tried to objectively examine why I followed Krista, why I continued to devote energy in responding to her posts, and if it was worth my time and emotional energy to continue doing so. The difference I found between Krista’s posts, which do often frustrate me, and posts from others who I have chosen to unfollow and/or block is the intent and context behind the posts.

At the end of the day, Krista and I are very similar. We were both raised in very conservative families/churches, who had different plans for us than the lives we’ve chosen to pursue. We’ve both come to believe differently about God than the churches we were raised in. And we both know what it’s like to have to keep up appearances, especially online, in order to not destroy (or majorly hurt) relationships with people in our lives offline who it’s still important to maintain a relationship with.

There are a couple big differences between us. First of all, I’m gay. I came to believe differently than the church I was raised in largely because I’ve had to just to be who I am and not feel depressed and suicidal all the time. When you grow up gay in a conservative family, life gives you two choices: shut off who you are and spend your life convincing yourself you are who you were told you were supposed to be or do major amounts of soul-searching to figure out who you are and how to accept yourself. When you’re already evaluating one major aspect of who you are and what you believe it becomes nearly impossible to not do that same evaluation on the other beliefs you were raised in. Because of this process, I’ve come to see a lot of hypocrisy and downright lies in the belief system I was raised in. This has pushed me into developing a pretty strong set of opinions, beliefs, and political stances that stand in stark contrast to my family and lifelong family friends.

As a cisgendered straight woman, Krista did not have this huge thing forcing her to do major soul-searching. Despite this, she has done soul-searching, and seems to still be doing it. (It’s really a lifelong process, after all.) She has stepped out into a world that she likely didn’t consider being able to live in as a little girl. She’s pursued an educational and career path that’s impressive for even women who were raised being encouraged to focus on education, so for someone in her church and belief system to get to where she is is monumental, and for that I applaud her. So while I definitely disagree with her beliefs on a number of subjects, and will continue to say so (with thoughtful responses, not just complaints) when I feel her posts call for it, I am doing my best to remember that no one was born perfect, and she is still learning just as much as the rest of us are. I’ve said many times that I really do believe her intentions are good, and I stand by that belief. She’s learning. She’s trying. She may be one of the more conservative voices in our tumblr community, but many of us have admitted we used to be worse than we are now, and she’s come a long way from who she once was too.

The other big difference between us, at least as far as tumblr goes, is that she has chosen to attach her name and face to her posts on here, and I have not. Many of you know who I am, follow me elsewhere, etc. That doesn’t change the fact that publicly, all you see is a food-based username and (currently) a photo of Jana Duggar on a boat. I share my first name, my age, and my general location. While someone who knew me offline could likely piece together my identity if they paid enough attention, I am careful to not overly-identify myself. This relative anonymity grants me the privilege of speaking freely online without worrying about offline consequences. Krista has not granted herself that same anonymity. I’m honestly a little embarrassed that I had never considered before the fact that she likely does not feel she can speak freely on Tumblr. I am very careful what I post on my other social media platforms. When my name and face are attached, I pretty much never mention LGBTQA issues for fear of outing myself and losing family members I’m not ready to lose. I don’t post about the abuses found in many Baptist churches or the lasting harmful effects I feel from my overly-religious childhood. This is partially to avoid a can of worms with a widespread ripple effect and partially out of respect for my parents and their desire to not have to defend me for believing things they don’t even agree with themselves. For Krista, the things she says here can and likely do affect her life offline, and it’s something that’s important to keep in mind when reading her posts.

I don’t say all of this to say that Krista gets a pass for hurtful things she says. We all are still accountable for the things we say, and she has chosen to put herself in the position of having to choose between saying things that will hurt her offline life, censoring herself, or staying silent. There are topics I still wish she would just address openly or not at all. But at the end of the day, she has the same right to censor herself here as I do elsewhere, and I will be trying to keep that in mind going forward. When interacting with her privately, she’s only ever proven herself to be kind and open to hearing what I have to say. In the future, I may give her the same respect I often give my offline friends where I just send her a DM to clarify her intent of a seemingly rude or hateful post instead of just calling her out publicly. We’re all learning, Krista included.

Social media, especially Tumblr, has given in to a dangerous mindset that’s often referred to as “cancel culture”. There are times when it is absolutely the right choice to “cancel” someone. Like I said at the beginning of my post, we have the right to choose what voices to allow into our feeds. We should all take advantage of that right and do what’s best for our mental health. I just think we should also be more mindful of context and intent when deciding whether or not to “cancel” someone. We all say we want young girls (and boys) in fundie communities to get out of that lifestyle and find better beliefs, but getting out doesn’t happen overnight. Many of us have the benefit of getting here after shedding many of our toxic beliefs. For those who aren’t there yet, I hope we will just remember to choose kindness and respect and do our best to be open to educating them without being hateful or derogatory.

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peaceoutofthepieces · 4 years

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Today’s clip really reminded me of how good Nathan is, damn. Like it was not just Femke’s acting in s1 that made me cry. That man knows what he’s doing

I think it’s right that they both still have feelings for each other but maybe not the way everyone thinks. Like I don’t think Jens is “lying” when he says he wouldn’t want them to go out again.

There was a lot of emotion in today’s clip. It felt like he was almost choked up. But I mean, just think of what’s going through his head right now. Jana was his last proper relationship. He dated someone after her, yeah, and I’m sure he’s had plenty of flings and hookups, but I’m pretty sure Jana’s the only person he’s ever really been in love with. And look at all they went through. He cheated on his girlfriend, her best friend to be with her. They were that into each other. It is clear in s1. But it went downhill so hard for them. Like, I actually don’t like Jens much in s1, because we’re seeing it through Jana’s eyes. I was always so frustrated, upset, and distrustful of him.

But it’s so hard for him too. Because he genuinely loves Jana so much. And then to find out she didn’t trust him, and it led her to cheat on him. And in the end, they’re not the ones who want to break it off. Their breakup is definitely one of the most emotional. Like underneath, they’re some of the most emotional people.

And they say they didn’t regret their relationship, and I’m sure they don’t, they shouldn’t. But I’m sure they wonder sometimes if it was the right idea. I’m sure sometimes they don’t like what it put them through. And they wouldn’t want to go through it again.

The big thing in s1 is communication. That’s the big issue (in all of Skam, really, but that’s a whole post on it’s own). So imagine how Jens feels, after all the miscommunication and lies and distrust in their relationship, to find out Jana is moving to New York....from Aaron.

Of course there are still lingering feelings from their relationship. They’ll probably always be there. They will always be special to one another. I feel like the Jonas characters, they struggle with loneliness even more than many of the others. It’s not as obvious with Jens, because he’s so chill, but I think it’s very possibly still there. And we’ve seen him in s2 especially still pining a little over Jana, obviously hurt those times she’s with Luka, etc etc. Now we’re in lockdown and everyone’s feeling more lonely, more isolated. And he’s finding out Jana, this one person he cared about more than he’s ever cared about anyone else, won’t be with him even after it’s over. And of course it makes him even more desperate to reach out. You can see how nervous he is before Jana picks up, how anxious he is to get to ask her about it, how he asks her why she never mentioned it in that quiet little way Jens does that subtly lets you know he’s hurt.

It’s a shock to the system. When everything’s so all over the place already, it’s another hit. He thinks “this girl is leaving and she’s one of the most important people in my life, and I’m going to miss her”. And it makes him miss her right now. And it makes him look at old photos, and feel nostalgic, and reach out.

But I don’t think he’s lying when he says he doesn’t want to get back together. She asks him if he has any feelings for her, and he doesn’t say, “pfft, no, they’re dead and gone”. He doesn’t avoid the question, doesn’t change the subject. He’s genuinely thoughtful and answers easily and says “no, I wouldn’t want to get back together, but...”

They will always care about each other. Of course they will. They were in love. Once someone has such a big piece of your heart, they never entirely fade from it.

But still having feelings does not equal still wanting to be together.

It’s something I’ve personally felt before, and I loved to see it shown in two of my favourite characters, but two of the best actors I’ve ever seen. I’m very thankful for this clip and this is why I am so so interested in Jens’s character. His emotion is so quiet but so strong and it’s such a powerful thing

#wtfock #wtfam #jens stoffels #jana ackermans

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squigglysquidd · 5 years

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3, 8, and 42 for Fibonacci shakarian and krilliams?

3. Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Shakarian

Once they have it, they are very open with it. Hell, Garrus probably won’t shut up about it and loves to flaunt the beautiful woman who actually loves him back. He’s usually the one to initiate the lovey-dovey stuff in public, but Jana has shown him hand holding since it doesn’t seem to be a big thing in his realm. She loves his little kisses, nibbles, or nuzzles, but she also knows that he’s a respectable royal, so even if it’s just hand-holding that they’re able to do, she’s happy.

Krilliams

Nihlus and Ashlin didn’t announce it to the world when they became a thing, but they didn’t outright deny or try to deflect attention when someone noticed. If asked, then they’ll tell the truth, but they’re much more professional about it. They’ve given the occasional peck or nuzzle to each other, but they rarely see each other for long periods that whenever they do and it’s not for a public reason, they’re off together in private. Then they can do all the touching they want. ;)

8. What do they like best about their partner?

Shakarian

Jana loves just how young Garrus is. He’s brash, cocky, a bit of a brat, and other things that she just loves because it’s such a contrast to her husband. Her husband, hate to say it, was a bit broken when they married. Sure, he would’ve been able to heal in time, but he wasn’t really the best support for her in the war if he hadn’t been given that time. Directly after Omega, he wouldn’t be the support in a war against the Reapers that she needs because he has his own self-care to worry about (which he was really bad at and relied on her for help with actually) but this Garrus has very little emotional baggage. It means he can help her handle her own pains and distress from losing her husband to even losing her own life and being with Cerberus. That all was something she didn’t have the time to stop and think about for herself, but with Atheling Garrus, she can forget these troubles in a different way. It’s much better to forget your worries because you’ve found something better than to just not have the time or energy to deal with them.

Can I say Garrus loves everything about Jana? Because he really does and it’d be hell for him to pick one thing, constantly changing his mind. However, if I had to pick, I think that her full support in him and her strength at his back is what he really likes. He’s never had a lover or a partner - ever - so he doesn’t have much to compare to, but Jana is there to see that even if he doesn’t go the traditional route, he is doing good and she supports him even when others are looking at him to make the expected decisions. Plus, she’s strong-willed like he is. Once he learns about her past, he respects and admires her even more because she’s allowing herself to heal even when he presents such a huge difficulty for her. That she still accepts him and even becomes his lover despite her lost husband’s identity makes him truly humbled.

Krialliams

Once she got over her prejudices, Ashlin has to admit that Nihlus is pretty damn attractive. However, if we’re going to be deep about it, then she really likes how he’s an exact opposite to her. She was bogged down by prejudices when he outright comes out and says that he’ll judge you for who you are and what you do rather than what you are and what your people have done. That and he doesn’t mince words, much like herself. That kinda similarity irritated her at first because he wasn’t afraid of telling her plainly what she was doing in battle that was interfering with her success and she was pretty defensive in the beginning especially with him being turian. She thought he was arrogant - and perhaps he was a bit just to rile her up - but now she respects that he puts himself out there to go against the grain when he sees potential in people.

Nihlus loves Ashlin’s energy, her strength and sheer determination. Her choice in weapon says a lot about her because she definitely is someone to go into things with both hands at the ready for a fight and nothing to hide behind. She’s not the most delicate of women, but he likes that. He likes a woman that can kick his ass because it’s a challenge and he knows that, if she can keep up with him, it just goes to prove how much work she’s put into her skill. He’s attracted to that fire she has and even when she clearly didn’t like him, he used to love to get her heated by saying thinks she didn’t - but needed - to hear. He very much liked her reactions ;)

42. Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Shakarian

Hm .... I don’t like to think of relationships as situations where someone would let another person do something that would ‘bother them’ because I believe that relationships are built on being open and talking, the biggest thing being what they do and don’t like.

However, if I had to choose something that makes them more uncomfortable than bothered, I think Garrus is the only one Jana trusts to take her up high. With her fear of heights, she’s someone who’s very hard to convince of the joys of flying, but he manages to get her to trust him and though she is still afraid, she knows he will never drop her. For Garrus, it’s wearing his crown. He’s not one for the pomp and glamour of royalty because he also doesn’t think he deserves it, but once Jana sees his crown, she falls in love with the look of it on him, both for reasonable and more trivial reasons. She likes the way he looks in it and she thinks he deserves to let everyone know he’s the Atheling because he damn well proves that he deserves it.

Krilliams

Again, same thinking of it not really being bothersome so much as maybe something uncomfortable.

Nihlus is one of the only people who can tell Ashlin something she’s doing wrong or how to improve without her immediately being defensive. It’s a bit of a bad habit for her, but she’s so used to her family being criticized that she doesn’t know when it’s friendly advice. Even though she’s gotten better at that, Nihlus is the only one who can say something and she doesn’t even have an inkling of that defensiveness. As for what she can do, I’d say she’s the only one who can convince him to take a break from work as a Templar. He prides himself on being useful because, for the longest time, he was looked down on because of his past, and normally he’d tell someone trying to get him to take off to shove it, but Ashlin is different. Not just because he loves her, but because she understands what it’s like to work so hard and keep working hard to stay at a place that was so difficult to get to. So when she asks for some time with him, he knows what she’s feeling and is all for the both of them taking some time away from duty to spend with each other, no obligations.

Thanks for the asks!

#Fibonacci #Mass effect au #fantasy au #Ashlin Williams #Nihlus Kryik #Krilliams #Jana Shepard #Atheling Garrus Vakarian #Garrus Vakarian #Shakarian #wafflesrock16

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