Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)
While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde is the Anti-Matter Universe version of Legally Blonde. The story follows the same broad strokes with the same characters - it's practically the same movie, down to that one bad cringey comedic scene in the middle - except this time, none of it works. At all.
Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) is now engaged to Emmett (Luke Wilson). To have the perfect wedding, she wants her chihuahua’s mother to attend. Unfortunately, the dog’s mother is owned by a cosmetic company that uses her to test products. Having found a new calling, Elle leaves Boston and goes to Washington, D.C. to work on a bill that will outlaw animal testing in the United States.
Two things made Legally Blonde an unexpected treat: Reese Witherspoon’s portrayal of Elle and the way the character was written. As before, Witherspoon is terrific in the role. She fully commits and is so bubbly you instantly fall for her. You side with Elle right away, even if the incident that’s prompting her crusade for animal rights is pretty stupid. Witherspoon's charms count for a lot but not enough, not when the screenplay by Kate Kondell is this awful.
Now that Elle Woods has graduated college and moved onto the big leagues, her brain has shriveled. It’s that scene where she walks into class with nothing but a pink, heart-shaped notebook and a fuzzy pen all over again. You’d think the years of studying and school would’ve trained her for the real world, but no. Over and over, she proves herself who everyone thinks she is: clueless, totally out of place and unfit to perform the task at hand. I feel so sorry for any young girls (or boys, I suppose) who saw "Legally Blonde", admired Elle's ability to be both a capable lawyer and a woman who dressed fashionably, became inspired and then went to see this follow-up. Why such a drastic change? Because of Amanda Brown, or rather, the lack of. The first movie was based on her experience studying at Arizona State University. It was both funny and although exaggerated, had just enough basis in truth to be relatable. Red, White & Blonde is science fiction.
Even if you’ve never been interested in politics, you can tell all of this is plastic. The Congressmen who pose an obstacle to “Bruiser’s Bill” are just a single conversation from doing a complete personality 180. The villains are either never adequately addressed or taken down with such ease you’ll roll your eyes.
Another layer of artificiality hangs over the entire movie: the plot itself. Not the wedding; Elle’s quest to abolish animal testing. In the real world, that stuff still happens so what does it matter if she succeeds on the screen? It’s a pointless victory. Even if you ignore the dated and embarrassing gay stereotypes (let’s be fair to the movie, as it was released 12 years before same-sex marriages were allowed in the U.S.), you won’t be able to dismiss a cheerleading scene so misguided it makes you want to die or the fact that the stakes are just too high for Elle to lose. I mean, is anyone wondering whether the film will end with Bruiser's mother still getting cruelly used in a lab with all the pink and the gags surrounding that colour?
Though Luke Wilson only makes a brief appearance, most of the other characters you liked before (such as Jennifer Coolidge’s Paulette) return. Notably absent is Selma Blair’s Vivian, who has been rebooted as Grace (Regina King). More attention is given to the legal case and less to the romance, which makes it a poor man’s version of the original movie or a gender-swapped even poorer version of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.
Legally Blonde 2 is a profoundly disappointing follow-up. We're talking Bridget Jones' Diary 2 kind of letdown. The conclusion hints at a sequel which you’re unlikely to have any kind of appetite for but I’m sure if it ever happens it’ll be better than the next actual chapter in the series, Legally Blondes. (June 26, 2020)
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new septembers readathon book recs
i like making lists so i thought it would be fun to make a list of recommendations that fit at least one prompt in case people were struggling to find books!! every book on this list, i have either already read & enjoyed, or it's on my tbr:) books i have not read yet will be marked by an asterisk! and if you're not joining the readathon, this can still help you find some good books to read this autumn :)
The Witch Haven by Sasha Peyton Smith (a book about witches)
The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna* (a book about witches, a cozy fantasy)
Our Shadows Have Claws: 15 Latin American Monster Stories edited by Yamile Saied Méndez and Amparo Ortiz (a creepy/horror book, a short story collection)
Babel: An Arcane History by R.F. Kuang (dark academia, a book that takes place (partially) in september)
Mexican Gothic by Sylvia Moreno-Garcia (a book about a haunted house, a creepy/horror book, a gothic novel)
Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman* (a book about witches, an autumnal romance)
Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (dark academia, a book that takes place (partially) in september)
Weyward by Emilia Hart* (a book about witches)
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier (a gothic novel, an autumnal classic)
Payback's a Witch by Lana Harper* (a book about witches, an autumnal romance)
Your Lonely Nights Are Over by Adam Sass (a creepy/horror book, a september 2023 release)
Wild Is the Witch by Rachel Griffin* (a book about witches)
Night of the Mannequins by Stephen Graham Jones (a creepy/horror book)
The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling* (a book about witches, an autumnal romance)
After Dark with Roxie Clark by Brooke Lauren Davis (a murder mystery, a book with a red cover)
The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston* (an autumnal romance)
Saint Juniper's Folly by Alex Crespo (a creepy/horror book, a book about a haunted house)
The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow* (a book about witches)
If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (dark academia, a book that takes place (partially) in september)
Legends & Lattes* by Travis Baldree* (a cozy fantasy, an autumnal romance)
Hollow by Shannon Watters, Branden Boyer-White, Berenice Nelle, and more (a graphic novel, a retelling/reimagining)
The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas* (a book about a haunted house, a creepy/horror book)
M Is for Monster by Talia Dutton (a graphic novel, a retelling/reimagining)
Slasher Girls & Monster Boys edited by April Genevieve Tucholke (a creepy/horror book, a short story collection)
The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake* (dark academia)
You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight by Kalynn Bayron (a creepy/horror book, a book with a red cover)
What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher* (a creepy/horror book, a retelling/reimagining, a gothic novel)
Hallowe'en Party by Agatha Christie (a murder mystery, a book with an orange cover)
Our Hideous Progeny by C.E. McGill* (a creepy/horror book, a retelling/reimagining)
The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Joseph Andrew White (a creepy/horror book, a gothic novel, a september 2023 release)
A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson* (a creepy/horror book, a book about vampires, a retelling/reimagining)
Why Didn't They Ask Evans? by Agatha Christie (a murder mystery)
A House with Good Bones by T. Kingfisher* (a gothic novel, a creepy/horror book)
Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie (a book with an orange cover)
House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson* (a book about vampires, a creepy/horror book)
Hangsaman by Shirley Jackson (dark academia, an autumnal classic)
Over My Dead Body by Sweeney Boo* (a graphic novel, a book about witches, a book that takes place at a private/boarding school)
Suddenly a Murder by Lauren Muñoz (a murder mystery, a september 2023 release)
Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu* (a creepy/horror book, a book about vampires, a book with a red cover, an autumnal classic)
Thieves' Gambit by Kayvion Lewis (a book with a red cover, a september 2023 release)
Coven by Jennifer Dugan, Kit Seaton* (a graphic novel, a book about witches)
Where Echoes Die by Courtney Gould (a creepy/horror book, a book with an orange cover)
The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes* (a book with a yellow cover)
I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman* (a book with an orange cover)
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson* (a creepy/horror book, an autumnal classic)
Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas (autumnal romance, a book with a red cover)
The Body in the Library by Agatha Christie (a murder mystery, a book with a red cover)
She Is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran* (a creepy/horror book)
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (an autumnal classic)
The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien (an autumnal classic, a book that (partially) takes place in september)
House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland (a creepy/horror book)
She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott, Alyson Derrick* (a book with a yellow cover, a book that (partially) takes place in september)
These Fleeting Shadows by Kate Alice Marshall (a creepy/horror book, a book about a haunted house)
Rules for Vanishing by Kate Alice Marshall (a creepy/horror book)
The Gathering Dark: An Anthology of Folk Horror edited by Tori Bovalino (a creepy/horror book, a short story collection)
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen (an autumnal romance, an autumnal classic, a book with a red cover)
Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand (a creepy/horror book)
Dracula by Bram Stoker (a book about vampires, a creepy/horror book, an autumnal classic)
The Weight of Blood by Tiffany D. Jackson (a creepy/horror book, a retelling/reimagining)
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie (a murder mystery)
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (a creepy/horror book, an autumnal classic)
The Agathas by Kathleen Glasgow, Liz Lawson (a murder mystery)
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (an autumnal classic)
A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro (a retelling/reimagining, a murder mystery, a book that takes place at a private/boarding school)
Macbeth by William Shakespeare (an autumnal classic)
Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson (a murder mystery, a book that takes place at a private/boarding school, a book that (partially) takes place in september)
The Woman in the Library by Sulari Gentill (a murdery mystery)
If I Have to Be Haunted by Miranda Sun* (a book with an orange cover, an autumnal romance, september 2023 release)
Her Body and Other Parties: Stories by Carmen Maria Machado (short story collection, creepy/horror book)
On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta (a book with a yellow cover, a book that takes place at a boarding/private school)
The Dead and the Dark by Courtney Gould (a creepy/horror book)
Crooked House by Agatha Christie (a murder mystery, a book that (partially) takes place in september, a book with a red cover)
Ace of Spades by Fariday Àbíké-Íyímídé (dark academia)
Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas (retelling/reimagining)
Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (a cozy fantasy)
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson (an autumnal classic, a creepy/horror book, a book about a haunted house, a book with an orange cover)
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (an autumnal classic)
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery (an autumnal classic)
Tripping Arcadia by Kit Mayquist* (a creepy/horror book, a gothic novel)
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