#LAUDNA IS STRUGGLING WITH DELILAH.

[sparring-spirals]

i desperately need an episode of just the Bells sitting and talking to each other and checking in and touching base and bonding. both for "i live for that shit" reasons and because the amount of lore drops the last few episodes has left me yelling "MOON?" "HAUNTED?" "CITY?" "MOON CITY?" "RED?" "CAGE GOD EGG?" with increasing fervor and decreasing coherency. my brain was not built for this. i need like 80 minutes of everyone asking each other how they're feeling and in depth 1 on 1 talks and characters Vibing. CR please.

#you know how the bells hells REALLY need a nap? maybe i do too. 🤔 #anyway MOON CITY HAUNTED CAGE EGG FAKE GOD RED STORM MOON HAUNTED CITY? #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e30 #cr liveblogging #bell's hells #spar speaks #speculation #meta #PLE ASE #folks. im bad at lore and plot threads. i dont know how evident it is that my favored terrain is character dives but. my insight on Plot is #probably not the most helpful #like this is GREAT and FUN but im only gonna get LESS HELPFUL FROM HERE. .... having fun tho #okay maybe i do need sleep #Fearnes parents BARGAINED HER AWAY. fcg HAS BEEN A WHEEL AND ALSO HAD THEIR MEMORY REDONE. #LAUDNA IS STRUGGLING WITH DELILAH. #THE YU BETRAYAL? GOD theres so much happening #i need them to Chat

[beedreamscape]

Idk if it's me missing the guests but these last eps without them haven't gripped my attention for more than five minutes

#critical role #cr spoilers #cr stuff #idk i have no nostalgia for VM so the thing with Keyleth wasn't that interesting to me personally #they also seem to be having the same gods-good-bad conversation over and over and over again every ep #i'm dying for those personal struggles to return to spice things up: FCG with his origins and Dancer and loneliness. Imogen and her powers #and her family and the moon. Laudna and Delilah and humanity and uncertainty in her powers. etc etc #the only person who seems to still be toying around those things is Ashton #everyone else seems to have settled idk #rambles

[nellasbookplanet]

I'm still thinking about Laudna and how, as she starts breaking down and the jagged pieces show more and more, earlier aspects of her characterization take a new, kind of horrifying shape.

Laudna was never upset - in fact, the idea seemingly never occurred to her - about Imogen voicing the opinion that maybe the Vanguard was right, even after they murdered Laudna right in front of her. She has never, as far as we have seen, actively sought a way to be rid of Delilah, or to grow her magic in ways that don’t involve Delilah. She talks about a fear of holding Imogen back, encourages Imogen to move on once Laudna is gone. She represses negative emotions but at the same time her joy in life is genuine and overflowing, not a mask.

It all builds a picture of someone who isn't only undead in terms of game mechanics, but who genuinely doesn’t really see herself as alive. Laudna sees herself as living on borrowed time. Marisha has spoken of her as someone who has lived through trauma and moved past it; I believe she means that not in the sense that she's unbothered by her trauma - we have seen she’s not - but that it in a sense doesn’t matter to her. She’s already dead. There’s no point in healing, or seeking a solution or cure, only in finding as much joy as she can in every little thing until the darkness catches up with her. When she regressed in Whitestone post shard incident, there were mentions of her not fully remembering her early days as an undead. She was unstable, not fully sure of what was real and what wasn’t, maintaining her sliver of sanity by talking to the evil necromancer in her mind and an anthropomorphized dead rat. She was likely treated by locals like some scary monster because she largely acted like one. She was a hollow one in every sense of the word. Then she met Imogen, someone who not only wasn’t scared of her and saw her as human, but who understood her struggle; I suspect this genuine human connection was what brought her out of nearly three decades of hollowness.

And in that, she has made Imogen her purpose where before she had none. If the Vanguard is Imogen's destiny, then it doesn’t matter that they killed Laudna because Laudna was a lost cause even before Otohan killed her. Exandria and Laudna both were hollow before Imogen, because she had no real connections, and so now Imogen is all that matters. If Imogen wants to fight Predathos, Laudna will fight. If Imogen wants to leave the struggle and go live in a cottage, Laudna would go with her. If she wants to join Predathos, Laudna would help her. If Imogen died, Laudna would sacrifice Exandria and the gods and the remains of her own soul to get her back.

#laudna #critical role #cr3 #this is why it would be interesting if oryms deal with nana - bring everyone back alive - actually ended up making laudna fully alive #bc she’s been an undead lost cause for so long that she can imagine nothing else. she sees no point in fighting it #but if she was suddenly made alive - would that change her perspective? #nella talks cr

[porterprophet]

also, yes it’s probably just another bit of manipulation, sure sure sure

BUT

the fact that Delilah is out here reassuring Laudna that Imogen wouldn’t be better off without her….

like their relationship is fucking fascinating. and fucked and fascinating.

the way Laudna sees Delilah’s apparition and Marisha asks if it’s Delilah when Matt says she’s warm but stern (like maybe it might be her mom?).

the way Laudna struggles and second guesses and she asks Delilah, is this right? is this wrong? is this love? like a child seeking assurance; like she’s looking for an adult’s guidance (a parent?).

the way Laudna seems to treat Delilah like a god; she’s always watching but maybe she’s not always there — no, dear, she’s always there. she feeds her in a way more tangible than followers feed gods but Delilah grants her power in that same way.

but also the way she’s blunt and curious and jaded like she often is in those honest talks with Ashton; the way they talk quietly together and it’s rife with their intertwined history and nature but also comfort and some level of respect.

fucking incredible.

#critical role #cr3 #cr spoilers #laudna #delilah briarwood #c3e86 #laudna is my favourite could you tell #cr meta

[vaxieth]

because something really did ask, have a much too long post about my thoughts on laudna’s individual dynamics with the rest of bells hells.

under the cut because it’s almost 3000 words.

laudna/imogen

i struggle to find something to say about imogen and laudna that hasn’t already been said a million times before. the core concept—the thesis—of their arcs, together and separately, is choice. so much of their backstories are defined by helplessness. laudna was chosen and killed because she happened to look like someone else, she was resurrected because she happened to be there. imogen’s mother left, she was burdened with powers she didn’t understand and meant constant pain and isolation. so, they make sure to constantly emphasize that the other person has a choice in everything. imogen tells laudna she only has to come back if she wants to, even though it would have devastated her to lose laudna forever. laudna tells imogen that the gods can’t control her, that no matter what her “destiny” is, if she wants, they can leave and live in a little cottage and raise horses together. the way they love each other unconditionally is all the more incredible given how cruel the world was to them for so long. laudna’s “you make me better” is true for both of them. they give each other a place to be vulnerable and feel all their messiest, worst feelings because they know the other one won’t judge them. they’ll support each other no matter the choices they make.

something i’ve mentioned quite a few times but never gone in depth about is that imogen and laudna do have a fairly significant age difference, and i do think that affects their dynamic. on the one hand, they both have a bit of arrested development—imogen due to her isolation from the rest of gelvaan from 18-26, laudna because she died at 20. on the other, laudna has so much more life experience than imogen. she spent almost 30 years traveling and interacting with the world even if was mostly people trying to kill her, maybe even because of that. the “laudna is imogen’s aunt/mother/older sister” takes were obviously ridiculous, but laudna does canonically look at imogen and see someone young who she wants to protect in a way she never was. she said as much to fcg after the gnarlrock fight. laudna acts as imogen’s rock, her tether if you will, a lot of the time, and part of the reason she can counterbalance imogen’s anxiety is because of the experience that comes with age. for example, during their conversation in episode 49, laudna is able to stay more “rational” and level-headed even when imogen is scared and overwhelmed. 

one of my other favorite things about them, specifically from laudna’s point of view, is that with a few exceptions (the gnarlrock fight, her jealousy of frida), she doesn’t seem insecure about their relationship. again, during episode 49, laudna mentions that she knows they haven’t talked in a while, but she didn’t worry because they “transcend words.” she didn’t need outside assurance from imogen because she felt confident in their love for each other. something i love about that episode 39-49 period is that they didn’t interact a lot, but when they did, they slipped right about in the same kind of intimacy they’d always had—imogen holding launda’s hand when they went into her dream together, laudna’s protectiveness of imogen after she interacted with ludinus. but anyway—that confidence is why i believe the transition from friends to lovers was so easy for laudna. laudna’s unsure of herself, of delilah and what she might do, but she’s absolutely not unsure of the love between her and imogen. that’s why as soon as imogen tells her she’s not a bad person, that she wants to be with laudna in that way, she lets herself embrace it entirely.

in conclusion: they invented romance, they’re the best canon pairing critical role has ever had and one of the best dynamics in general, etc., etc.

laudna/orym

oh my god, WHERE to begin? i feel like my take on their dynamic is slightly controversial. at the very least, i get more push back from people when i post about it than anything else, so let me start with this: orym cares deeply about laudna, i will never dispute that. however, orym is uncomfortable with laudna and has been since the very beginning of the campaign. she’s his friend and he recognizes her beautiful heart and resilient spirit, but he’s uncomfortable with her appearance and her messages in his head, with her macabre humor and her deadness. he can’t reconcile that laudna his friend and laudna the dead woman can’t be separated. laudna’s deadness is a part of her, one laudna embraces. orym, for better or worse, is “normal.” he grew up with a loving family and he had a husband and a career. will and derrig’s deaths were an unbelievable tragedy but one that never challenged his place within the status quo. (sidenote: i’ve always wondered if part of orym’s discomfort with laudna come from the fact that her proximity to death is a reminder of the resurrections will and derrig never got.) he sees himself as a follower, someone that doesn’t stand out, then there’s laudna, who does nothing but stand out. 

something i find fascinating is that orym is the first person to find out laudna’s backstory, and it affects him so much he can’t sleep that night and takes a point of exhaustion. he even explicitly recognizes the dehumanization she’s gone through and how laudna’s relationship with puppets like pate and sashimi mirror that. yet, he still never apologizes for trying to disguise her appearance, something without even asking. yes, i get it’s tactical and for “safety” (though that argument falls a bit flat for me when there’s also a glowing rock person and a fully conscious automaton in the group, but whatever), but it still hurts laudna. even beyond that, orym always qualifies his friendship with laudna to other person, making some mention of how she’s dead-looking and isn’t that crazy, wow, almost as if he wants some validation that it—laudna—is weird (one he, interestingly, rarely ever gets, given how enraptured most of the other pcs, including guests, and even some npcs, are with her). he does this even in situations he absolutely doesn’t need to like, for example, when maeve says laudna “looks cooler than i thought.” all this just sucks. it’s not that the love isn’t there, it is. it just isn’t unconditional, and laudna deserves better than that.

finally: the delilah in the room. no, it isn’t orym’s “fault” delilah is back. yes, he was also having an extremely bad time during the bor’dor fight and it wasn’t his “responsibility” to save laudna from herself, but laudna is orym’s friend. he listened to laudna tell him the trauma delilah put her through, he fought through hell to save laudna from her, and still nodded because part of him thought maybe delilah could help him and that was selfish. the fight against ludinus is important to of the bells, but for orym, it’s personal. it’s been his mission for six years. meanwhile, laudna is the one with the least enthusiasm about this. she has no connection to the gods. in fact, she actively thinks they dislike her, but he’s willing to sacrifice not just his safety, but the safety of her and all his friends for a cause they never set out to fight for.

in conclusion: i want to put them in a salad mixer together and watch them go around and around and around and around and around, then let them out to scream at each other a little.

laudna/ashton

if i had to explain laudna and ashton’s dynamic in one word, it would be “projection.” i adore their relationship, it’s one of my top 5 c3 dynamics, but oh my god, so much projection, and it’s so interesting because of that. ashton thinks he understands laudna, but in reality, he doesn’t at all. i’m an absolute sucker for characters that look very different on the surface but in reality are much more similar than they know, and ashton and laudna are that to a tee. they are very much narrative parallels especially regarding their feelings of “brokenness” and how their traumas are physical, visual parts of themselves, but the ways they diverge are almost more interesting.

certain people have said that her conversations with ashton are the only time laudna is “honest” or that, at the very least, she’s more honest with him than she is with anyone else, and i couldn’t disagree more. laudna can be a joyful, optimistic person and deeply traumatized with a core anger she hasn’t truly processed. laudna is a high-charisma character, and in my opinion, part of how that manifests is her ability to adapt her demeanor to the person she’s talking to. she speaks gently to imogen the same way she matches chetney’s hyperactive energy when they go sky-sailing. of course when she’s with ashton, who makes no effort to hide his anger and bitterness and doesn’t want her to be soft, she isn’t. none of these laudnas are more “real” than the others, they’re all laudna. what those people, and ironically, ashton themself, don’t get, or won’t let himself get, is that all those things can be true at once.

with ashton specifically, i don’t think they want to believe that because then they’d have to admit that growth and healing is a real possibility because anger is so much easier to deal with. people talk most about orym’s choices during the bor’dor fight most, but i’m fascinated by ashton’s as well. i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a part, no matter how small, that wanted laudna to break, to prove to himself that he was right and laudna was just as broken and fucked-up as them. so, laudna killing bor’dor was almost vindication, evidenced by their “what have i done?” “nothing i haven’t done.” exchange afterwards.

i don’t want this to sound like ashton doesn’t care about launda, they do. ashton cares about her so much, and besides imogen and fearne, is the most unabashedly into laudna’s aesthetic. i love how much they love all the weird shit she does. i love how protective ashton is of laudna, especially during battles and their willingness to go above and beyond for her—he carried laudna when she was dead despite his chronic pain without complaining once and were willing to make a deal with hexum after going through an entire museum heist to repay their debt. i love the moments when ashton sees how much laudna is struggling and tells her, as gently as he can, to take a moment and do what she can to ground herself. i love that when laudna way too dramatically assumes they kidnapped imogen, their response is “that’s very fair.” it’s all wonderful, and i love them.

in conclusion: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND I WANT TO LOCK THEM IN A ROOM AND FORCE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR HOURS.

laudna/fcg

laudna and fcg have been getting more attention in the past few days for obvious reasons and that has me rubbing my hands together maniacally because even though they have very little actual interaction, the subtext is delicious. 

besides ashton, fcg might be the character laudna parallels the most, especially their struggle with their humanity (if they’re even human at all), which isn’t helped by the constant dehumanization they face from outsiders, including the almost continuous comments they get when they meet someone new. people look at launda and see a horror while they look at fcg and see a novelty (he’s a robot with personality??), and those both suck. i think, for fcg, laudna is an uncomfortable reflection of himself because everything they’re afraid is true about themself is true about laudna. finding out they had a soul was such an important moment for his character (also remember his early campaign habit of calling other people “soul-touched folks”). as a hollow one, who knows if laudna even has a soul. if i’m honest, fcg seems to think less of laudna than the rest of the party (see: him calling her a “former person,” his speech before casting turn undead including, “no offense to laudna but can you please shine your light and wipe these evil, dead souls off the face of this flat planet?”) and that’s probably why. they have such strict ideas about “good,” which has become “godly,” and “wrong,” (“ungodly”), and within that framework, everything seemed to point to laudna as “ungodly,” which is why their empathy towards her is lacking. 

the biggest conflict between fcg and laudna right now is obviously their feelings on the gods. the changebringer brought fcg purpose and tangibly helps them on a daily basis. of course they want to share this incredible thing with everyone they meet, especially his friends. yet, time-and-time again, the world has shown laudna the gods don’t seem to care about her. before someone says anything, pike resurrecting laudna doesn’t automatically mean she has to trust the gods. clerics and paladins spent 30 years running her out of towns for existing and trying to kill her in the name of their gods. if the circumstances were different, there’s a good chance fcg could have been one of those people. for fcg, the world is black-and-white. for laudna, it’s all gray. laudna was able to have a conversation with imogen about the ruby vanguard’s message and the purpose of the gods because she understands the need to question things and thinks that’s a good thing even if she doesn’t agree with the conclusions. fcg’s not there yet, and until he is, their friendship with laudna will never be able to progress past where it is now.

in conclusion: please have a conversation, maybe even two or three. it’d be so good for fcg to learn the world’s incredible nuances and for laudna to see how faith in the gods can be an empowering force for good, not just something beyond her grasp.

laudna/fearne

out of all launda’s dynamics, this is the one i desperately want more of. we’ve gotten so little! almost all their moments are interactions between the three witches that tend to center imogen (making the red-string friendship bracelets and comforting imogen after she talked with relvin come to mind) OR center imogen and fearne’s mutual appreciation for laudna’s… everything. one of my favorite about fearne is that, like imogen, she doesn’t think laudna is gross and creepy, she thinks laudna is gorgeous and charming without any caveats. even ashton, who also loves laudna’s laudnaness, tends more towards “yeah, you’re disgusting and THAT’S why it’s great.”

the other main part of their dynamic i want to sink my teeth into is the coin-toss, more specifically fearne’s guilt over the coin toss. regardless of whether you think fearne lied (i personally find that headcanon FASCINATING but to each their own), she clearly feels so many emotions about having to pick whether to save laudna and orym that she hasn’t even begun to unpack. one of the few sole moments we’ve gotten of them was in episode 42 when laudna asked fearne to help teach her to cast fireball, and in it, fearne, unprompted, blurts out, “how’s it feel being alive again?” almost immediately. she also apologizes to laudna, says they’ll fight any piece of delilah that’s still in there, and tells her, “i missed you terribly for that moment in time.” even when laudna gives her the chance to make the conversation light-hearted, fearne stays so genuine, which is all the more-noteworthy because she’s usually so flippant and almost always keeps her real feelings close to her chest. 

some other examples of fearne’s guilt include: the 4sd where ashley said part of why she was so protective over imogen during their separation arc was that she couldn’t bear having to tell laudna anything happened to her and just this past episode when fearne’s protectiveness after laudna made her only cast first-level cure wounds on fcg after they cast turn undead.

in conclusion: PLEASE LET THEM INTERACT MORE. THERE’S SO MUCH JUICY POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO SEE IT EXPLORED.

laudna/chetney

i don’t have that much to say about them except that their dynamic is absolutely delightful. i love that we’ve gotten to see more of it in recent episodes, and i hope that continues. 

chetney exists at an interesting place between orym’s genuine discomfort and fearne and imogen’s complete enchantment with laudna’s undeadness. he is sometimes grossed out, but he also seems to accept it as a thing about laudna without too much judgment, or at least, that “judgment” is light-hearted in a way orym’s or even fcg’s isn’t.

i love that they’re the characters with the most life experience (even if laudna is technically the fourth oldest, fcg only has two years of memory and fearne is a 100+ but spent 99% of that time in one place) but also embrace being “childish” and silly together, like the entire sky-sail sequence! 

in conclusion: *gently holds* i just think they’re neat!

that’s all! if you read this whole thing, you get my eternal love and gratitude. thank you.

#laudna #imodna #laudmoore #orym #fresh cut grass #fearne calloway #chetney pock o'pea #bells hells #critical role #my posts #textpost #i’m weirdly more nervous about posting this on here than on twitter #but i spent like three hours writing and am pretty proud of the result #in case it isn’t clear i want to reiterate that i love ALL these characters #including orym and fcg #but they aren’t perfect #that’s what makes their dynamics so interesting!

[immeasurable-depths]

This episode has really got me thinking about Imodna’s endgame - and how for them both to be happy together, I think they’ll both ultimately have to give up their powers.

Their powers, which tug them both in different directions, that make them the best and worst versions of themselves.

Here’s what I envision. Through whatever means, they manage to stop Predathos waking and re-seal it (maybe in a similar way to the prime deities/betrayers?). As thanks for their help and dedication, Keyleth casts True Resurrection on Laudna, banishing Delilah from her in the process, and allowing her to grow old at a normal rate.

Live a normal life.

She keeps her sorcery powers, but mostly uses them for practical, delightfully domestic purposes.

Meanwhile, in the process of sealing Predathos, Imogen (and maybe all Ruidusborn) loses her powers.

For a long time, she struggles. She misses the power she had; the confidence and surety her magic gave her. For a long time, she’s jealous of Laudna, and the fact she kept some of her powers after Delilah is defeated.

They move to a cottage in the countryside.

They raise horses.

They forgive each other.

They relearn how to be.

Maybe one day, Imogen finds a new source of magic - maybe sorcery, maybe even wizardry, or Druidic magic. Maybe not.

Eventually, she learns how to live again.

They grow old.

Together.

#critical role #imodna #imogen temult #laudna #laura bailey #marisha ray #cr campaign three #c3e89 #southern gothic #imogen x laudna #they’re just so tragic #and I love them #and I want them to be happy but also I love angst #post canon

[still-cookiedough]

Laura Bailey role playing episodes are my absolute favorite (I mean come on Jester finally confronting the gentleman about being her dad?), and this past episode we both had a scene with Imogen’s mom and Laudna?

I am loving the Laudna/Imogen dynamic, it feels so fragile. Both of them are struggling with trying to hold on as tightly as they can but realizing that what they’re holding is made of glass. There are so many factors to consider if the two of them can make it out of this campaign alive (or kind of alive) and their relationship in tact.

I don’t think I would go so far as to call their connection toxic and I don’t even know if I would say they are overly co-dependent. It’s normal to feel grounded by your significant other in times of extreme stress. But we’ve only seen them under duress. Imogen, in theory, can make it out the other side of this if they are successful in stopping Predathos, but Laudna’s very existence is tied to a force that is driving a wedge between them. And what is Delilah’s end game? It has to be control over Laudna’s body right? Will we see that in the campaign? Will this be a situation like when the Mighty Nein fought Trent after the final battle? Will we see a fight for Laudna’s soul to wrench her free from Delilah? Maybe Imogen will be a granted a favor from the gods and we will see Laudna brought back to life and Delilah extinguished for good. But that seems too neat and clean.

All I can say is that I’m loving their story. There will always be a level of compromise in a relationship, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of compromising yourself.

The angst is real, the angst is good. And I will never stop sending into the universe a wish for my girls to get a happy ending.

#imodna #imogen temult #laudna #laura bailey #critical role #cr3 #bells hells #I am finally caught up and now I am trapped in the angst #and I can’t just watch the next episode?? #binging campaign 2 spoiled me

[ratinayellowbandana]

I’m still thinking about the implications of “You would lie to me again, right, Laudna?”

lie? again? that word choice has to be deliberate; the last time Imogen accused Laudna of lying was another power struggle with Delilah. Imogen knows the rock wasn’t Laudna's fault. She knows Delilah took over to steal more power. and Imogen forgave Laudna for it. this time Imogen is asking if Laudna is telling the truth about Delilah's part in this. but the fact Imogen is asking suggests she actually doesn't believe Laudna about the rock. or maybe Bor'dor.

it's such a strange move for someone who knows how deeply upset Laudna was/is about previous incidents. what’s worse is Laudna is kind of lying this time. her motivations are to better protect the people she cares about, but does it matter if she's feeding back into Delilah's power cycle? Imogen has already made her disgust well-known. are dubiously good intentions enough?

Laudna knows what happens when Imogen thinks she's lying: Imogen rejects her. she'll storm off and leave Laudna alone with Delilah, and Laudna can’t deal with that right now. neither can anyone else. apparently the fate of Exandria/Predathos relies on Laudna keeping Imogen grounded. so if Imogen leaves her, it seems like the rest of the world will go too.

#if laudna breaks her trust will that be enough to set imogen on a new path? #laudna knows it will drive imogen away. but if laudna is the thing holding her back… #'ill break the world for you' but its accidental #im studying them under a microscope #laudna #imogen temult #imodna #cr3 #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e89

[ohmaillegode]

Thanks for your post about Laudna and Imogen. I love how supportive they are of each other and it always felt a little strange that so many defined it as unhealthy.

Just curious though since I'm not well versed with the terminology, could you enlighten me on what codependency actually is or what it's defined as? I feel like the term gets thrown around and misused a lot.

Sure I can! And thanks for asking :) Keep in mind please that French is my first language and that I struggle to explain concept in another language.

I felt the same way, and as a therapist, I find it hard to see people misuse concepts and pathologize behaviors based on false information.

Codependency is when a person has a hard time being themselves in a relationship (friendship, romantic relationship, professional relationship, etc.) and has a tendency to completely disregard their own needs, wants and sometimes personality to meet the other person's needs and expectations. They usually have low self-esteem, and usually feel worthless except when they meet the other person's needs. Most of the time, only one person in the dyad is "erasing" themselves to please and tend to the other person.

I was in a relationship like that 10 years ago (and it lasted for 7 years). It was a bit violent too. I could never express any anger, sadness or discomfort 'cause I was met with rejection, gaslighting and more anger. I had to ask for anything I wanted to do outside the relationship. I felt like I had no power, but I loved them so much and I wanted to "save" them from themselves. I loved being their favorite person, and I loved it when I made them laugh, made them happy. When it ended (they ended it), I felt like I would never find someone else 'cause nobody would love me. I though that all our mutual friends would choose them and leave me. Two months after the break-up, I just bloomed.

Based on what we know and see of Laudna and Imogen, this is not their dynamic. Both are themselves, have moderately good self-esteem (don't start me about how Laudna doesn't have a good self-esteem 'cause it's not true), are able to express their needs, are making choices for themselves and are able to compromise together. TOGETHER is a very important word here. Usually, in a codependent relationship, one person feels like a victim or a martyr, which is so not what we are seeing here. They are both taker and giver in the relationship.

They are both able to give the other support, validation, agency, praise, and honesty. Are they perfect? No. The rock incidentTM is a good example of that. Imogen became passive-aggressive (common with people pleasers) and Laudna felt guilty for something that Delilah did (common for someone in a violent relationship). But in the end, both were able to express regret and apologized.

Both are also able to see their own worth. Laudna embraces her weird, and knows that she is a good caregiver. She has never questioned the love that Imogen has for her, she accepts it fully, and even sees herself as Imogen's better half. She feels loved. She told Imogen about Delilah being back 'cause she knew that Imogen wouldn't blame her and wouldn't stop loving her. She knew Imogen would be the one to help her regulate her own emotions, and feel like a good person again.

Same goes for Imogen. She is aware that Laudna is gonna love her no matter what she choses, and no matter if Laudna doesn't approve herself. She knows that she's powerfull and capable, she doesn't need Laudna to tell her that, but she loves it anyway.

Everyone has or wants a "tether", someone who helps you being grounded on what's important in life. It's not unhealthy to be able to count on someone, on their love and their adoration. They just love each other, that's it.

#imodna #critical role #laudna #imogen temult

[pink-ivy-vines]

ashton's speech about how it 'could have been any of us' isn't about pushing away their responsibility about the mistake that they had made nor about how everyone should immediately forgive them because the entire group is a 'ticking time bomb'.

their speech is about how every single person in that party is just as fucked up as ashton is. every single one of them is still trying to figure out who they are and how they matter.

ashton is a rock who believed that they were nothing. that they mattered to no one, that they didn't have a place, and that in the act of trying to matter to literally anything, they fucked up so hard that they deserved to be left behind just like every single other time before. over the course of these past days, they have found out that

they are not the only one struggling with these types of feelings and

bells hells has a dangerous affinity for accepting dangerous things in order to matter to someone or something (even if that's themselves)

just over the past 48 hours laudna has turned to delilah, imogen has wondered if she should just give in to the power of ruidus, orym has mentioned sacrificing everything to save people he doesn't know, chetney has spoken up about controlling the wolf and his own loneliness/abandonment issues, and fcg and fearne have both given in to do something that would help but that they both tend to avoid (ex. going murder robot for the sake of healing and taking the shard, specifically).

ashton is not advocating themselves of blame; they are stating "i am hearing what you're saying and i am acknowledging that i am not alone. that none of us are alone. and if someone does make the same mistake i did, that we would all still stand next to them."

#critical role #literally the only thing that makes ashton different from the sorcerer girlies is that our beloved rock beat them to the punch #critical role spoilers

[notori]

On a more genuine note from my previous post though: I do not think Imodna will go the same way as Vaxleth for a few reasons.

Vax's story was very personal to Liam. It always frustrates me when people act like the Raven Queen 'took Vax away' (and thus she is a bad goddess) when in fact she answered his prayer and granted his wish. Vax's story is about "Take me instead!" - not some kind of "Don't let Vex die!", and certainly not someone who was raised from the dead without their consent and bound like a puppet. Unless such an ending is expressly what Marisha wants for her character, I don't see it being narratively satisfying. Even if Laudna dies in sacrifice to save the others, because of the breadth of Delilah's power, it would be more of a general "I'm dying to save everyone" and less personal (and impactful) than Vax's trading his life for Vex's.

I joked about how this is Delilah Briarwood vs Laura Bailey again, so don't sweat it, but it's true! The players play their characters differently. Liam loves tragedy and plays it well; Laura loves romance and plays it well. Percy also had a dark streak with a hunger for power, and Vex would not let him go. I see more parallels with themes like: "I feel cruel, but in control." and "Take the mask off." Meanwhile, Imogen and Keyleth are different characters and their love interests have different relationships with death. In the end, the reason Keyleth could not do anything against the Raven Queen isn't because she's a god and Keyleth is not, but because Vax - as a paladin - chose to honour his faith and uphold his end of the deal. Imogen is not in that position because Laudna is not in that position. Laudna may see herself as just a puppet, or a risk, or a dead end - but we the audience, and Imogen, know that she is not (maybe a bit of a calculated risk). If anything, I see us on the precipice of an arc of Imogen inspiring Laudna to fight for her independence again and figuring out a way to do that (this is a world of magic after all).

And that theme of fighting for independence is something that has been there since the beginning. We have seen it both in analysis and confirmed on 4SD that Laudna's relationship with Delilah is in many ways similar to struggling with addiction. And now, into year three of C3, we are really seeing that take form when things get rough. When things get out of control, when you get desperate, that's when you grasp at anything to make it easier. It would be a real kick in the teeth to have her not overcome that struggle. Of course, there's the possibility that she does overcome that struggle by getting rid of Delilah and dying as a result. But out of game it has been referred to more in line with addiction that is constantly managed rather than addiction that is ended cold turkey - which for some people is the only way. I'll admit this one is more a personal preference but I do see it overall leaving a bad taste if Laudna were to die from Delilah in some way (again). Presuming they resolve issues with the solstice and resurrection spells, True Resurrection does exist and I'm certain the Hells would work off a 25k GP debt to bring Laudna back for good (which I see as more of a final episode/epilogue/post-game situation).

Regardless, it's a beautiful story and I'm sure that whatever happens will be what the players want. However, in this case I genuinely don't see them repeating something they have done before. Although we saw many parallels last night, there is still much which sets Imodna and Vaxleth apart narratively.

#imodna #critical role spoilers #critical role

[flurry-of-beaus-pop-pop]

Honestly? I'm ready for the drama that is Laudna/Imogen/Liliana...

Imogen saved her Mom - at least for right now - and I can 100% see her wanting to make the most of that, accepting her Mom with open arms, deciding to put everything they need to talk about regarding what has happened on the back burner for the purpose of just being together.

Laudna, on the other hand, doesn't do well with betrayal, especially when it is betrayal of those that she loves. So if she witnesses Imogen just "forgiving" her Mom for everything that she has done, I can see Laudna having a lot of issues with that, especially if Imogen starts to open up more to Liliana rather than Laudna.

The juicy part of this is... Laudna is already struggling to fight Delilah's presence... if she feels Imogen pull away from her, even if it's unintentional, will she start to feed Delilah more? Will she decide to always go down the route of self-sacrifice, getting stronger and stronger with no regards to what this means for Delilah, because she sees it as a way to make sure Imogen gets her happy ending with her Mom (but in reality, it's more self-destruction out of jealousy?)

I'm ready for it.

#critical role #imogen temult #liliana temult #laudna

[biorusted]

Laudna might have been hurt by Orym’s response of nodding and not helping her kill or not kill Bor’dor, but that does NOT mean Orym manipulated her. 

After reliving the most horrible things they could have, they were faced with another revelation, that a person they thought was a friend, actively wanted to kill them and the gods, thus taking away culture and maybe life on Exandria as we know it.  

Laudna cracked under the stress and did what she needed to for survival. Ashton led Prism away and Orym stood by, both giving Laudna the space that both of them thought she needed. When Laudna looked back, Orym nodded. Showing his support in whatever Launda chose to do. 

As reviled by Liam, there was a single thought that Delilah might come back and Orym, who, once again is up against a global extinction type event and is in his darkest thoughts, was willing to deal with that if it meant some help. 

Orym did not maliciously nod his head and push Laudna over the brink with the intention of summoning Delilah back into existence. 

Laudna looked over her shoulder for some kind of guidance from a friend, and Orym nodded. 

And then Laudna killed Bor’dor.  

None of them had the mental stamina to deal with someone who wanted them dead. They were all at their wits end. It is safer for all of them to kill those who want them dead. Like Orym said, this is War. If the Ruby Vanguard wanted a kind ear to listen to them, they shouldn't have fell in line with someone who wants to take choice away from the people, who wants to remove a cornerstone of Exandian life and culture permanently for his own gain. Who was willing to kill innocents. The Ruby Vanguard made their choice. Bor’dor had the opportunity to get out  during the week he was with BH and he didn’t. Bells Hells made their choice and Laudna killed him. 

Orym loves his friends. He listens to them and is struggling with them. He has no outer ploy to punish the people he loves or to make them suffer. He has nothing to gain. If a friend looks to him for advice or an answer, Orym is going to give his answer. That answer might hurt, but that does not make it manipulation. 

#Orym #bells hells #critical role #laudna #ashton #bor'dor dog'son #yall manipulation has layers to it. Orym nodding was not manipulation #he nodded and let Laudna go through with Her Choice in killing bor'dor #people having different views and giving you their views after you ask for it is Not Manipulation #people collectively having a shit awful time and then something happens and its a worse time is Not Manipulation #it just happened yall #even if Laudna blames Orym for what happened it is still not manipulation on oryms part #as someone who has been blamed for manipulating a 'friend' after having a panic attack yeah i got personal views on peoples silly takes #manipulation is a ploy. does Orym have a ploy against his freinds? no

[nellasbookplanet]

I know this is old hat to just about everyone, but I'm more and more enjoying Imogen and Laudna as not just a mirror of the Briarwoods but also, and perhaps even more so, as a foil.

Laudna may be the death magic goth with a necromancer in her head, but out of the two of them, Imogen is the stronger mirror of Delilah. She’s the one with the undead lover, the one prepared to break the world by risking Delilah's return as long as it got her Laudna back, the one with the drive and the thirst for power and knowledge. Laudna meanwhile, while also tempted by power, is mostly just along for the ride, deeply devoted to Imogen over anything or anyone, alive only because Imogen found a way to resurrect her. They have looked each other in the eye, recognised the same seeds of darkness and the possibility of giving in, and said 'Together either way'.

But they are also in many ways a direct subversion of the Briarwoods. Delilah and Sylas both seemed perfectly happy to have made a pact with Vecna and revelled in the power he granted them, even knowing the disaster he would bring and the horrific acts he asked of them. Imogen and Laudna meanwhile, while tempted by power and openly voicing said temptation to each other, actively fight against it. Imogen was prepared to risk Delilah's return for the sake of Laudna's resurrection, but she would've fought her every step of the way. She's tempted by the power and knowledge of Ruidus, but also prepared to give all of it up if it means saving the world, because unlike Delilah she chooses to care about people other than herself and her lover. Laudna may be prepared to follow Imogen into hell itself, but she may also be what would lead her back out, because unlike Sylas she doesn’t just recognise darkness in her lover, she wants to fight it alongside her.

This is what I mean when I say these two hold the potential for great darkness. They wouldn’t function as a mirror and a foil of the most romantically iconic critical role villain duo if they didn't. But holding the potential for darkness and corruption also means holding the potential to resist and fight said darkness at every turn. It gives them the potential to choose kindness and struggle while still keeping a little bit of that darkness in their hearts, because without it, they never would have found each other.

#critical role #imogen temult #laudna #cr3 spoilers #imodna #southern gothic #cr3 #i still get weirded out by the way large swaths of shippers will happily compare imodna to the briarwoods because #'ooh romance and aesthetic and breaking the world for each other ~~' #and yet will completely lose their shit when someone actually engages with the darker aspects of their characters #and talks about their relationship as anything other than perfect and fluffy and supportive #guys. the potential darkness is what makes them interesting. it's where the flavor comes from. embrace it #I'm hoping for more moments where they give in a little to that dark the way laudna did when killing bor'dor #i mean laura even said last 4sd that imogen very well might next time because she Wants To Know!! #please go there miss bailey I'm begging it would be such an interesting turn for both imogen and laudna! #delilah briarwood #sylas briarwood #nella talks cr

[lilac-clouds]

I had another angsty imodna thought, might as well throw it out there

Right now, Imogen's taken off her circlet(unless she chose to put it back on and I missed it?) but presumably can't hear BH's thoughts in the background unless they're actively communicating because of whatever they used to protect their minds before getting on the Moon?

What if, with how heavily Laudna is leaning into Delilah's influence right now, once that mind protection finally wears off and Imogen starts hearing everything again, Laudna's current mental state means her thoughts no longer sound musical, and they hurt Imogen as much as anyone else's? How devastating would that be to both of them? Would Imogen even say anything or try to hide it until she can't anymore?

Just imagine, Imogen is struggling back on Exandria without her circlet, her head hurts, Laudna notices and tells her to just use her mind as a refuge, and Imogen has to tell her that won't work because her music is gone and only noise is left.

(I can't leave it here it's too sad so...that's the wake-up call Laudna needs so she stops becoming Delilah 2.0, she never feeds Delilah again, and gradually her thoughts regain their soothing nature, the Hells find a way to exorcise Delilah after (or before) they deal with Predathos, and everyone lives happily ever after)

#why do i only think of angst for these two when i just want them to be happy #oh yeah it's because canon is STRESSFUL AF right now #Laudna is not okay #Imogen is not okay #Can they please for the love of god have a conversation about it at some point before it's too late #imodna #cr3

[staticrevelations]

constantly thinking about Not Strong Enough by boygenius and imodna

black hole opened in the kitchen

the shade creepers at Zhudanna's place

drag racing through the canyon

the deathwish run in the ravine in bassuras

do you see us getting scraped up off the pavement?

imogen's crawler wiping out and a barely-alive laudna rushing over to her, imogen rushing to laudna's dead body after the showdown with otahan

i don't know why i am the way i am not strong enough to be your man i lied, i am just lowering your expectations

imogen asking to kiss laudna, an unspoken expression of desire for something more than friendship, and laudna immediately feeling unworthy of imogen's love and affection and telling her she lost her way and is afraid she's a bad person

half a mind that keeps the other second guessing

delilah a constant presence in laudna's head, both of them torn as to whether to use the power of delilah and ruidus or fight it

always an angel, never a god

both of them doomed to be the playthings and messengers of higher powers, never able to have true control over themselves or their lives

i don't know why i am the way i am there's something in the static i think i've been having revelations

imogen's struggle to find out why she suddenly started hearing people in her head, the way it always sounded like static to the point that the noise was starting to become too much until one day laudna showed up and it sounded like music, like a revelation in the flesh

skip the exit to our old street and go home go home alone

both of them wanting, more than anything else, to settle down and live a quiet life together in their own little home

#i'd write this fic or draw these vignettes with lyrics myself but i cannot write or draw #critical role #cr spoilers #imodna #imogen temult #laudna #crit role #cr3 #cr3 spoilers #campaign 3 #bells hells #critical role spoilers #boygenius #not strong enough #mine #not to mention the end of the song moves to a gallop #i'd be lying if i said i wasn't trying to find the part of tumblr where CR gays and indie music gays crossover #long post