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taddymason · 6 months

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Brother

One shot of Kaida and Noah (from @finn-m-corvex)!! This au has possessed my mind and made me really want to write something after reading Finn's amazing one shot. Chronologically this would be a continuation (not relevant, but at least in this one Jay hasn't recovered his memories).

I will publish the next chapter of Lighting Pin soon, these weeks I have been with exams and for some reason the third chapter has been quite heavy to write.

(also sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language!)

Words: 2.9k

TW: implied child abuse.

Living in the monastery is weird. Kaida feels like an outsider and that sucks.

It's weird because there are times she's too aggressive to let her guard down for a fucking second and stop yelling at any of these people. It's weird because sometimes she allows herself to stop and think about how screwed the Administration was with the rest of the world, that these kids here weren't ordered to kill from a young age or that they've never washed someone else's blood under their fingernails. That there are things that she thought were normal and when she says them out loud she realizes that they were not.

Sometimes she feel like a rabid dog that just wants to bite something and not let go, she feel like if any of them talk to her the first thing they will say will be an insult or something hurtful. She is angry at how things have changed, that her father is no longer hers, that there is no normality to return to because there never was one.

And when Tessa tells her how her father treated her and Noah, that anger doesn't diminish. Not when she knew every word was true.

It was hard to process… that. Especially when her Jay would probably set the world on fire before letting something bad happen to her. When he preferred to stay in the Administration despite all the bad things that happened there, the bad things that they had to do in their job, just so as not to lose her.

They had never talked about it, she didn't even know how he would react if she told him, but she was sure that the reason the Administrator had let him adopt her was solely so that he would stay there. Have two elemental masters nearby. It had worked well she supposed.

After her training, she enters the monastery dining room once she saw that it was partially clear. Only Noah was there, lying on an couch reading a book with complete concentration. She didn't have as much trouble talking to him compared to the others. He was calm in a way the others weren't and he wasn't actively trying to make her angry like Jenna.

"What are you reading?" She asks, raising her voice, a few steps behind the couch where he was.

She had been trying to talk to them more, to build a relationship that wasn't based on her speaking sarcastically to them, to be more empathetic as Jay liked to say. It was an effort, but she felt like she should at least try.

The boy looks up, startled by her presence, smiling friendly in a rather familiar way as he gestures to his book.

“Hey, Kaida! I was working on some ideas for a future project. You want to see?" He says in a kind and jovial voice. It was quite difficult for her to believe how he and Tessa could be so calm, have so much patience with what they had had to suffer. How could they make it look so easy? She supposed it was something that came with having siblings.

Kaida nods somewhat uncertainly, and he holds out the book for her to see, a few scribbles and paragraphs of engineering terminology written on the pages that seemed to be some time old.

She can't help but roll her eyes while huffing. She shouldn't be surprised that half of them were so passionate about inventing. “A mech. You really like these mechanical things, huh?”

Noah raises an eyebrow curiously, not responding to the mockery. “Do you know how to read Ninjargon?” She nodded vaguely with disinterest as she continued searching through the notes for some idea similar to a weapon or a ship. "I had no idea. Although it makes sense I guess…”

She didn't miss the way his tone fell at the end. It was easy to read between the lines. Hoping it wouldn't show, she clears her throat. “Yeah, actually, I have quite a collection of books from here. They are better than any shit from the Administration. Especially the animal ones.”

His face lights up with a smile, he brushes away the blue locks that fell from his forehead as he sits up slightly. "I also like them a lot! What’s your fav-?”

His tone is suddenly cut off when a voice interrupts him from behind them.

“Hey, kiddo.”

Both she and Noah turned their gaze toward the door. Jay enters at a brisk pace while giving her a half smile. She doesn't miss the way Noah tenses next to her at the sound of his voice.

That moves something red and burning in her chest and she pushes it down, remembering Tessa's words. She couldn't blame them.

“Hi, old man.” Kaida waves mockingly, hoping the worried look she gives the boy next to her wasn't obvious. It seemed like he could run away at any moment.

“How was your training?” he asks and she's grateful that in that moment he keeps his distance and doesn't get too close to where they were. She felt stupid for not realizing why sooner, but Noah never liked being in the same room with him for long.

Kaida glances at him carefully, gauging his withdrawn expression before turning to Jay as she takes a few steps forward.

“Well, I still insist that target practice is better.” She jokes, although she actually meant it half seriously. She wasn't used to fighting for so long without using a weapon or her powers, physical strength had never been one of her advantages. The fights had to end quickly in her opinion.

But she had also been able to talk to Tessa more, which ultimately must have been something.

Jay laughs softly while rolling his eyes. “If you want, early tomorrow we can do target practice in the yard.”

She smiles. “Don't you think the green one would be against that idea?”

He frowned half defensively as he snorted arrogantly. “Well, he's not my leader.” And that's when he scans the room, paying attention to the boy on the couch for the first time. Jay's gaze lingered on Noah for a moment, no doubt noticing the boy's rigid posture, the way he had deliberately turned his eyes to his book, how he avoided looking at him or making the slightest sound whenever he spoke.

His brow furrows slightly, and for a few seconds, he opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, struggling with the words with a slurred sound.

However, in the end he just sighs dejectedly and mutters a few words under his breath.

“Let me know if you need anything.” He murmurs, keeping his voice deliberately calm. His hand absentmindedly pats her shoulder as he passes, giving the other teen one last look before he leaves.

She nods firmly, waiting for him to leave the room before turning around and walking over to where the other boy was. He was hunched over, his black hair completely covering his eyes as he read his old book. Although it seemed more like he was glaring at the pages more than reading them.

"Hey." She calls, attracting his attention. Kaida took a deep breath before saying. “You don't have to be afraid of him, you know. He’s not going to hurt you.”

Noah frowns with a small inhale, his mouth opening and closing a few times as he lowers his gaze. His fingers absentmindedly run through the pages of his notebook.

“It's… complicated, Kaida.” He whispers, almost as if he was preparing for her to fight and argue like he had with Tessa. His body was so stiff that he was practically shaking as he crumpled in place. “I don't think you understand. You don’t want to hear about this.”

She didn't really want to hear about it, what Tessa had said had been too much. She might as well have taken that as a sign to continue on her way and mind her own business.

But she didn't want them to continue being afraid of Jay either. Especially when he could definitely tell, and she already knew he was dealing with too much shit right now.

Instead of leaving, she makes a sympathetic face, hesitating for a moment before sitting down in one of the other chairs. Her hands clenching together as she absentmindedly pulled at her cuticles.

“Tessa told me about your timeline.” she murmurs, trying not to make her voice sound as sharp or harsh as she felt. She had noticed that he didn't like it when she and Jay spoke loudly, which was all the time because they were both terrible at speaking softly. Noah's gaze clears with understanding and wonder as he sits up straighter. “I'm sorry about what happened to your parents.”

He seems to bite his tongue and his own voice, running a hand through his hair several times between slow breaths.

“He never tried to be my father.” He says in a heavy voice, slurring his words. His tone is calm, however, there's more resignation than anger than she expected and she didn't know what to do about. “All he did was… make things worse. For me and Tessa. He didn't even care when he hurts us or-“ he cuts himself off as he shook his head in regret. "No, I'm sorry. You don’t want to hear this, kid.”

She frowns, trying to think clearly as she spoke. “If you want to talk about it, I can handle it.” Her eyes dart back in the direction Jay had gone before looking back at him. “Jay is not like that. He wouldn’t hurt you, much less want you to be afraid of him.”

He shakes his head slightly. “I just don't think I'm ready to give him that chance.”

Kaida took a deep breath as she bit her lip nervously. She knew he wasn't winning any awards for emotional talks and she appreciated the infinite patience this boy had in handling her pathetic attempt.

“Look- Noah, I'm telling you this, because I know how you feel.” she explains, the words something bitter that she spits into the air with difficulty. “I know what it's like to be… scared like that.”

He looks at her uneasily, looking her up and down intensely. Looking genuinely confused as he cleared his throat with halting words. "How?"

“It wasn't Jay, if that's what you think.” she assures with a rigid tone. The scars on her eyebrow stung with a burning sensation, the memory of the grip of a gun crossing the air, and she absentmindedly scratches them as she looked away.

She hears him sigh in relief before starting to speak. "But then, what-"

She cuts him off with a sharp sigh, speaking quickly as she waved a hand in the air.

"I, um, I grew up in an orphanage, you know? And it was a military orphanage, so it was double shit." "She explains, clicking her tongue between the pauses in her words. As if she had a mouth full of cotton." "They trained us to be agents. Soldiers." She could hear him swallowing hard, swallowing whatever words he wanted to say, but he doesn't speak. “And the people there didn't treat the children well. We were supposed to be tough and disciplined. They did not tolerate mistakes and they had their… methods to make us obey them.”

Noah looked at her intensely the same way Jay did when she said things like that. When she was a fucking mess who bit the hand of anyone who came near, when her first instinct for any mistake was to run because she didn't know what the punishment would be.

She can imagine what it must be like for Tessa and Noah and it doesn't help her calm the knot of anger that coils in her throat and chest. It was one thing for the stupid Administration guards to give her a scar on her face because of her intelligent mouth, but for their father to do things like that to them? That made her stomach turn.

She makes a sudden gesture with her hand, trying to downplay it, so that it doesn't show how much that look affects her. “I'm just saying, I'm still- I'm still dealing with it. Being distrustful of people. Or- “she takes a breath before continuing. "-being afraid all the time."

Noah purses his lips, his face pale as he rubs his eyes, a tired expression that underlines everything he has endured. “Kaida, I-“

"I just want you to know that Jay helped me with that. It didn't matter if I was practically a burden, or if I was too screwed up not to get upset over the smallest thing-" Noah frowned as if to interrupt her, but she continued. "What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be afraid of him. He's never laid a hand on me. And I know he wouldn't do it to you either."

He is silent for a moment before speaking. “It's just… it's harder than it looks. It's too much. For me and Tessa. It doesn’t help that he- well, he doesn’t even remember Nya or the others.”

Kaida grimaces, rubbing her hands restlessly. “Yeah, I don't think I'm helping with that.”

Noah frowns immediately as he shakes his head a few times again. "It's not your fault."

“Yeah, but I'm not making it any easier either, right?” she snorts harder than she intended. It takes her a moment to catch her breath again between her teeth. Noah looks at her attentively and not for the first time, she wondered where he got the desire to stay and listen to what she had to say. She wasn't good at this. She clears her throat, eyes closed. “I don't want to pressure you to see him as- you know. Just give him a chance. And, uh-” her tone stumbles stiffly and struggles to keep her words steady and not shake pathetically. “I want you to know that you can talk to me about these things if you want, not just with Tessa. I can deal with it.”

She opens her eyes to see his expression, Noah, to his credit, just blinks in surprise for a few seconds before nodding. Clearly confused as to whatever peace attempt they're forming here, but taking it at least. There is a softness in his gaze that she cannot decipher and she tries to ignore it as she crosses her arms.

"Alright." She hears him say in a stiff voice and she only nodds once.

"Good." Her fingers drum against the arm of the chair several times for a moment before she clicks her tongue sharply. “Anyway, do you know the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?” She asks in complete seriousness, he looks at her blankly as she waits dramatically in silence. She waits just a second before smiling. “He just needed some space.”

If she had known how he was going to laugh at a joke like that, maybe she would have told one of her stupid puns much sooner. His loud laughter only encourages her own, and soon the red acid burning in the pit of his stomach evaporates like a cloud.

Noah interrupts himself in the middle of his laughter with a firm and intense voice.

"Hey, Kaida, you can talk to me too if you need." He wasn't lying. He makes sure to add emphasis to his words as he leans forward. "And you're not a burden. You know that?"

She doesn't really agree with that, but the way he says it sends something warm and safe in her chest and she doesn't have the strength to contradict him. Instead, she nods vaguely with lost eyes.

He gives her a tentative smile and looks back at his book, although he still didn't seem to be reading the pages. Kaida, once she is sure that no one is approaching, takes courage before speaking.

"Do you want to tell me about any of your inventions?" Her hand vaguely points to the notebook.

His gaze practically glowed as he looked at her with a dumbfounded smile. "Really?"

She shrugs, approaches him less cautiously than before. "I'm sure there must be something good about Ninjago's primitive technology, right?"

He laughs again, not even bothering to respond to her mockery, before delving into complex, technical terms about his inventions at full speed. She stays by his side, still a good distance away, but listens to him attentively while he speaks without even stopping to breathe.

Maybe having a brother wasn't so bad after all.

#ninjago jay #ninjago fanfic #dad jay au #kaida walker #noah walker #ninjago oc #she is trying guys

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