#Rereading The Terror

[saints-who-never-existed]

Oh God, you guys, I forgot Bridgens had his own journals...!!!

In the book, Bridgens had his own journals, kept throughout the Expedition and possibly beforehand. There's one purposefully left behind in his tent when he goes for his final walk, and five even longer ones purposefully left far behind on Terror!!!

Just consider that for a single goddamn second!

John Bridgens, a man who loves literature and stories, and has defined his entire life by them, specifically destroys his own story, deliberately leaves it all behind to rot, in order to carry Peglar's forward with him instead...!!!

#I read ahead to the next chapter #It's Bridgens' last chapter and now I hate everything :( #But there's also a lot of things I love and that is one of them #I'll be thinking about it for days #I hate Dan Simmons as much as the next gal and there have been parts of this book that made me want to tear my own ankles off #But there are also parts that hit the sweet spot like a fuckin' ton of bricks and I'm tired of pretending there aren't #The Terror #Rereading the Terror #Terror Spoilers #John Bridgens #Henry Peglar

[hellenhighwater]

hey, I saw you mention at one point you had a cat named Nimitz! may I ask what inspired this name? (speaking as someone who used to have a bunny named Nimitz)

Ah, the Terror of the Underbrush, may she walk in quiet darkness. She and her adopted sisters were all named after admirals-- we had Halsey and Yamamoto-- but Nim was also a nod to Honor Harrington, which I was reading when she showed up when I was twelve. Appropriately, she turned out to be a shoulder cat.

I love Malice and Vice, and I loved Hazy and Yama, and Kitten Little before them, but I'll never have a cat better than the Terror.

#nimitz #the terror of the underbrush #halsey #keeps the threshold #yamamoto #she who is measured with seismographs #kitten little #first and fiercest #honor harrington did not really hold up on reread but I liked it a lot at the time

[representative-democracy]

Everyone else on the expedition must having been googling shit like "how to get my bosses to either fuck nasty or get divorced" and "is proximity to the inherent-eroticism-of-being-rivals something I can bring to HR?"

[prev][next]

+ i just like how sad they all look while JFJ serves cunt as a burrito

#i'm back into fitzier in a real way bc i reread 'How To Kill The Man You Love' #also that post about JFJ and Tarts made me so sad I had to make memes to cope #the terror #the terror amc #james fizjames #francis crozier #fitzier #the terror shitposting

[even-in-arcadia]

I was rereading "Lovers of the Human Flesh" by Caleb Crain as one does and I was very struck by two particular lines in relation to one Cornelius Hickey:

Incorporating what you love is a sure way to see that it never escapes from you.

and

Eating something is a way of keeping it with you forever, but it is also a way of destroying it.

I don't need to delve into the implications for Hickey's actual cannibalism - that's been done by those better (and more attached to Hickey) than I. What I want to talk about more is this concept in relationship to Hickey's ambitions to godhood.

Hickey has a plan always, at all times. It's a plan that shifts based on what seems best for him, what seems most convenient, and whatever he thinks his relationship to Crozier is at any given moment. They all essentially make sense in a scrappy, aggrieved, mutiny kind of way. Until: Solomon Tozer tells him, horrified, that he witnessed the Tuunbaq eat Mr. Collins' soul. Hickey says, specifically, that this merits a change in plan. He spends a long time by himself on a hill doing --we'll never know what.

EC/Cornelius Hickey, a man who clearly has never known a love that didn't turn on him or leave, has determined to be become melded to the Tuunbaq, an eater of souls. Gibson turned on him by falsely representing their relationship to Irving; Crozier turned on him by denying the "clear" bond they had and denying Hickey's gift of Lady Silence; he's been betrayed by this entire voyage that was supposed to take him to Oahu. Who knows what other loves have betrayed him.

If the Tuunbaq can eat souls, if Hickey can become connected with that power, then perhaps he too will be able to incorporate souls! Perhaps he will be able to finally ensure that something, someone will never turn on him. And if those souls must be destroyed in the process, what is it to him? Has the world not spent his entire time on earth trying to destroy him? (Conjecture: but given what we learn of him, the Nagaitis lore, and the cultural & economic context in which he exists, I think this is reasonable.) He yells into the Arctic air:

Bugger Victoria! Bugger Nelson! Bugger Jesus! Bugger Joseph, bugger Mary! Bugger the Archbishop of Canterbury! NONE EVER WANTED NOTHING FROM ME

He feels abandoned by every institution of society, and so he is going to create one in his own image. He offers a captain, an officer, a marine, and a ship's boy: the ship's hierarchy in miniature. If he feeds the Tuunbaq their souls and then melds with Tuunbaq himself, he can eat society and reconstitute it not just in his own image but in his own person, with only his chosen loyal followers, those who do want something from him. As Crain says, "In Freud's Totem and Taboo, the cannibal feast is the founding act of crime and sharing that binds society." That's the founding myth Hickey is not just counting on but trying to actively create.

And maybe, maybe! When he has access to Tuunbaq's power - will he have a line on those souls as well? Tuunbaq devours both body and soul in tandem, suggesting they are connected. As Hickey has already eaten of Gibson's flesh, maybe he can reconstitute and reingest that as Gibson's soul. Thus the destruction becomes the resurrection becomes the incorporation. Crain writes: "The body is a convenient boundary for the definition of the self. [...] in practice the peculiar act [cannibalism and homosexuality] violates that boundary. The act offers an ecstatic union." A cannibal rat wedding, if you will.

Crozier says to Hickey, "You must be a surpassingly lonely man." Hickey doesn't deny this. He merely says "Not for long." This is about power, but it is also about an end to loneliness, to his sense of betrayal at all levels and at every turn. Of course, it doesn't work out. In not caring about who suffered the consequences of his actions, he failed to take into account that incorporation & ingestion involve destruction. He thought himself the instrument of this, but by failing to see the Tuunbaq unto itself, as something other than a tool, as the independent Arctic that could never stomach Western society and live: he turned that back on himself and so was himself destroyed.

#cw cannibalism #is it weird if i write caleb crain fan mail #the terror amc #cornelius hickey #tuunbaq #apparently i'm a terror essayist now #i have not reread this and don't know if it makes sense

[roserocksrapidly]

absolutely inconsolable thinking about how one of the last kind faces wwx sees before dying is a-yuan and one of the first kind faces he sees upon being brought back to life is lan sizhui!!!! how was I ever expected to be normal after that!!!!

#mdzs #me rereading the first chapters again and yelling 'THATS HIM! THATS YOUR SON! BABY RADISH BOY!!' at the page as if wwx could hear me #every time i remember mxtx almost didnt include the lsz reveal i shiver in terror #their relationship is everything to me 🥺

[marypickfords]

The Treasure of Abbot Thomas (Lawrence Gordon Clark, 1974)

“‘The Treasure of Abbot Thomas’ (1974) is the most ripping mystery of the bunch, starring Michael Bryant as a theologian who teams up with a young posh protégé to try to uncover a treasure allegedly hidden on the Abbey grounds. Bathed in blue and black hues, with the chameleonic Bryant practically unrecognizable from both Girly and The Stone Tape in the years previous, the adaptation moves the action from Germany to Somerset’s Wells Cathedral where it incorporates the famous 14th century stained glass 'Jesse Window' as part of the mystery. [...] The stained glass operates as something of a map, with clues leading to the Abbot’s treasure, which (as in A Warning to the Curious) is guarded by a supernatural being” — Kier-La Janisse, from Yuletide Terror: Christmas Horror on Film and Television (2017).

#the treasure of abbot thomas #lawrence gordon clark #kier la janisse #yuletide terror: christmas horror on film and television #w* #caps #mr james christmas #i looove this story #read it by candlelight in october and i couldn't stop rereading #also i just love how everything GLINTS in this version

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i love dead characters. i love characters who were always dead, who die halfway through, who die in the end - characters who die and come back but in a way they're still dead bc their first life died with them & nothing will ever be the same & their coming back is a bandaid over a gaping wound & their own death haunts them-

#characters whose deaths haunts the narrative and the other characters #almost to the point where it feels like theyre still there #characters who continue to haunt everyone even After they come back #CHARACTER DEATH <3 #when done Correctly its sooooooo good its literally the best i love it when characters die Well #when you rewatch/reread and Notice that they were doomed from the start. they were always going to die #AGH AGH AGH AGH #im going to be honest my Favorite trope is characters who die and come back #bc - again - when done well its SO!!! FUCKING!! GOOD!!! #maybe they come back the same but no one else is and That changes them too #or they come back Different and it just makes them haunt the narrative / other characters More Intensely #anyway their resurrection just makes it hurt worse bc theyre Back but now everyone knows what its like to live without them #and they will forever be haunted by that Knowing. and understanding that they could lose them again so so easily #the terror! the dread! the persevering grief!! looking at someone wholly alive and seeing a ghost! seeing everything thats Not There! #ohhhh also shoutout to characters who die without Actually dying #they never lose their life but who they are Changes So Suddenly that its like they died. the person they were died #and someone else kept breathing #slamming my face into a waaaaallllllllll #death in fiction death in fiction DEATH IN FICTION!!!! #oh also shoutout to characters who die without dying and then Actually die and both haunt everything #prime example: anakin motherfucking skywalker. KING of haunting the narrative #absolutely unprompted #what has me thinking about this? well im always thinking about it BUT #ahsoka episode 5. my own characters. potentially welcome home (we'll see we'll see...) #character death my beloved <3 #there are so many ways to do it and do it Well <3 #and it kills me inside that 'killing for shock value' and 'character dies and everyone moves on' are so common #its so lame! and annoying!!! like cmon!!! get a grip! #we need CONSEQUENCES we deserve FORESHADOWING #we need their death to haunt the narrative so hard that rereading/rewatching is one big reminder that They Will Die!!!

[notafagipromise]

sometimes i hate reading fan fic because after it's over i will never have anything from that universe anymore and i will never feel what it made me feel again

#especially if it's an orphan work or from a anonymous author #yes this is about the devils white knight from a anonymous author #IT'S SO GOOD #i just cant get enough of it im rereading it rn #the relationship of Regulus and Harry is so sweet i see so many jegulus raising harry fics but this is the only one where harry is an adult #it's so nice to see Regulus as a steadying comforting presence contrary to james being more straight forward and protective #i love it so #like fr the scene where harry is suffering from night terrors and reg just holds him and makes him tea MY HEART!!!! #this is a love letter #author if you are seeing this you have no idea how much i love that work #the marauders #harry potter #jegulus #jegulus raising harry #james potter #regulus black #fanfiction

[breadandblankets]

day one billion of asking people to quit calling we are robin a cult or a gang, yall really be showing your whole asses

#duke thomas #we are robin #not tagging the other robins cause im pretty sure u guys don't know their names #anyway please consider the implications of calling a group of young people leading a social movement #comprised and lead by kids of color a cult or a gang #i saw someone say that war was a “cult” that “terrorized” gotham and i got a little heated #did dc do very well with that whole metaphor in the first place? no not really #anyway think about the narratives the general public places on leftist social movements and then reread war

[yatogamiofficial]

I haven't seen a poll like this yet so

reblogs appreciated for a larger sample size

#noragami #noragami aragoto #hiii im not dead yet im waiting for the manga to end so I can reread it in full #im filled to the brim with terror ^.^

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading the next chapter which includes Irving's funeral and Crozier reminiscing about his interrogation of Hickey. This latter section has no right to be as funny to me as it is so I think it deserves its own post.

Some things that happen during Hickey's Post-Murder Interrogation:

Crozier orders Hickey to strip further and further until he's down to his underwear, shivering in the cold. It's literally the first thing the Captain says to him as he enters the tent. (I imagine the practical purpose was to check whether there was any blood or other evidence on Hickey's person but still, delightfully bizarre with some fascinating sexual undertones.)

Hickey, of course, lies his arse off throughout but does so very badly to oddly hilarious effect:

He tries to say he never insisted on going off alone to find Irving, even though everyone else says he asked to do so several times.

He attributes signs of blood under his fingernails to the scurvy and dysentery they're all suffering from and the bleeding it causes 'on the seat', so to speak. "Are you saying that a Royal Navy petty officer on my ship wipes his arse with his fingers, Mr Hickey?" is Crozier's excellent reply.

He fully just makes a fucking imaginary wife up out of nowhere - it kind of starts as a throwaway line but then he commits to it because Crozier, the weirdo that he is, knows off-hand that Hickey's muster papers had him marked as an unmarried man. "Oh, my Louisa's been dead going on seven years now, Captain. Of the pox. God rest her soul."

He denies calling Irving "a whoremaster and a liar" even though multiple men across both ships have attested that he's been saying shit like that constantly.

And finally - the pièce de résistance, the cherry on top of the whole shit sundae - Hickey insists that he, along with many of the other men, thought of Irving AS A SON?!! "I swear to you, I didn't say no such thing. A lot of us looked on poor Lieutenant Irving sorta like a son. A son." Like, Hickey, baby, first of all - canonically he's older than you. Secondly, he isn't your son just because you kind of wanted to make him call you 'Daddy'...!

#The Terror #The Terror AMC #Rereading The Terror #Terror Spoilers #Cornelius Hickey #Francis Crozier #John Irving #Observations #Random Observations #Obsessed with the son thing #I really am #Feels very biblical #Feels very Abraham sacrificing Isaac #Only there was no divine intervention to stop him in the act

[asofterjirving]

Are you over there feeling fine? Oh, I'd prefer it if we spoke I'd like to look you in the eyes Not three AM staring into the void, waiting for replies Just waiting for replies.

-Daughter - "Dandelions"

Plus a summary of a fic I`ll probably never finish:

"Neither the day-John, who is his reliable colleague and dear friend, nor the night-John, his lover, acknowledges the other side of their relationship. Edward can live with that, it`s fine... until it isn`t. (It almost immediately isn`t)."

#nedving #the terror #edward little #john irving #and because it is very unlikely to get written i`ll just direct you to read/reread blazeofglory`s fics on ao3 #if you remember the post with the wips i deleted #it is the one titled strong foundations #mine #it is slightly mitigated because edward knows (or realises) that john needs time to adjust to the realtionship #and that he returns to him is a proof of that

[isabilightwood]

Everyone who meets May, instantly: that is not October, she's too perky

May Daye, an omen of death who until yesterday had to eat corpses and consume their memories to live:

#and then she goes and gets chinese food #is the first person to be 0% scared of the Luidaeg #and becomes a terror on wheels to all of san francisco #good for her #october daye #toby daye reread

[apollo-cackling]

something something keema, jun, and the third terror, all boys that were never taught any way of interaction other than violence (keema and jun playfighting, jun offering to let the fisherwoman(?) kill him after he's done his quest, the third terror killing that entire village for keema), the only difference being how much kindness they each received and the point at which they received godlike power

#also something something the third terror being steeped in the toxic imperial need to possess #my rambles #I need to reread the book to get my thoughts around it but yk the way the third terror and jun mirror each other #jun killing all those innocents for his father's approval and the third terror slaughtering that village for keema #biggest difference simply being that post-empress jun saw other people as people in their own right #paralleled by how the book doesn't let the reader forget the human cost by using the inserts of dying background characters #the spear cuts through water #books #need to reread that book #idk. big fan of characters receiving godlike power at developmental stages/deeply traumatic stages of their life #and seeing how that warps their worldview #[redacted] in feverwake for example #spoilers #10n #20n

[blood-mocha-latte]

Please rewatch GK. I personally need You to become like a feral dog.

lenora my darling this feels like FATE because full disclosure. i have only watched gen kill once. twelve years ago. with my brother. and i am feeling the vibes to watch it again.... in a more critical (homosexual??) way....

i am taking this as my sign to rewatch generation kill, actually. my new job is watch show and be rabid about it <3

#rie answers #reread a fic for it recently and was like DAMN #talked (completely sanely) to linh about bradray and was like DAMN #realized that stark sands was in gen kill for realsies and was like DAMN #wife said that she wanted to watch it and was like DAMN #this ask is truly The Sign. i am off to watch a show that surely won't impact me in any way shape or form #after watching it at thirteen with my brother. the marine #ALSO i watched the first episode of the terror and i have THOUGHTS. so now i have Two Shows

[onpyre]

@freshfigs tagged me to share my 9 favorite reads of the year. thanks hannah <3

i tag @cats-and-cacti, @palominojacoby, @nightofking, @deadendtracks, and anyone else who’d like to share. and no pressure, but i’d love to see what y’all are reading

#powers of horror is a much deserved reread #i think reading it in my thirties as opposed to my twenties was better #… also 3 of these are because of toothsome tv shows (terror and the north water and the magus that coach ben was reading in yellowjackets) #tag meme #‘23 #personal #also love that pulpy cover for giovanni’s room #especially because giovanni’s room absolutely wrecked me