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carmenberzattosgf · 2 months

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Carmy trying to make reader squirt 🤭 it somehow comes up casually and reader is like “oh yeah lol it happened to me once a few years ago but idk how the hell I did it” and Carmy just like short circuits 💀 then he hyperfixates on it for 3 days and when he finally has some time off bro is DETERMINED to make reader do it again. Like brows furrowed in concentration. Fingering them like no tomorrow and breathing heavy. Overstim and talking them through it. Praise. 🫣

Oh my god. ( this is not proofread it is literally 2am)

Carmy’s not super experienced. We all know this. In all honesty he barely knows what squirting is. He thought it was just a thing in porn, until it came up in a conversation between you two.

“I’m pretty sure it happened to me once a few years ago, but I have no clue how I did it.”

“W-wait what? I thought that only happens in porn.” His cheeks begin to flush as he thinks about it. You, with your fingers curling up inside of you, gushing onto the sheets below you.

You giggle at his pure cluelessness. “It can happen, it’s just not common. Some girls can��t do it at all. I didn’t realize I could until it happened.”

“Oh.”

Needless to say Carmen cannot get the idea out of his mind. It literally haunts him at work. He wants to make you squirt. He needs to.

Carmy being the nerd that he is researches the hell out of it, making sure he knows exactly what he’s doing. That Saturday on his day off, he’s determined to make it happen.

His lips are on yours the second he finishes cleaning up the kitchen from cooking dinner. His mouth moves sloppily against yours, teeth clashing together.

“Carm—“ you manage to break away from his eager lips for a brief moment. “What’s the rush? We can calm down a bit, you know. We have all night.”

“I wanna make you squirt. I’ve been— thinking about it non-stop for the past few days. I can’t fucking think straight. Can I? Please?”

How can you refuse him when he’s looking at you with those desperate blue eyes. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

You and Carmy work together to remove your clothes. He has you lay down on your back with your knees spread wide. He sits beside you, still fully clothed. “J-just tell me if you want to stop.”

His middle and ring fingers press into your soaked core with no hesitation. Carmy’s studying you, the facial expressions you make, and the way your cunt pulses around his fingers. His movements are slow and gentle at first, but that changes quickly. He quickens the thrust of his fingers while hooking the two fingers upwards. Carmy’s searching for that rough spot, and by your reaction, he knows he found it.

“Carmy! Fuck—“ you hand aimlessly searches for something to hold onto to steady yourself. Carmen offers his left hand, which you grip tightly.

Once he finds the spot, Carmy locks into focus. His thrusts are deliberate, alternating between speeds and making sure to apply pressure. Your hips move out of their own volition. “That it, baby? That feel good?” He asks. His voice his smooth, but you don’t miss the way he’s biting his lip in concentration. His brow is furrowed and sweat collects on his forehead.

“Yes, Carm. Please. Please don’t stop.”

“Wasn’t planning on it. I’ve got you.” Carmy continues to pleasure you, only stopping for a brief moment when you neared your climax. He softly shushes your whimper of complaint. “I know, baby. Trust me. You can trust me.”

His pace picks back up before you even know it. His fingertips move at lightening speed, pressing hard at the rough patch at the top of your core. Carmy looks like pure sex, and you’re not even pleasuring him. His face is completely flushed as he breathes heavily, panting for hair. Sweat is starting to pool off of his brow and down the side of his face. His eyes are blown out; only a small sliver of the blue still visible.

“Carm— I’m close. Please I’m so close. Fuck!” Your cries are nearly incomprehensible. Your hips buck against his fingers.

“Cum. Gush around my fingers. Make a fucking mess.”

“Shit— Carmen—“ you moan as your orgasm over takes you. You shutter as you feel liquid spill between your legs. It’s euphoria like you’ve never felt before.

“Good girl! Fuck. That’s it. Keep cumming for me. Don’t stop soaking my fingers, baby,” Carmy praises, watching you in awe. You clutch onto his body as more spurts leave you. He hasn’t slowed down his fingers at all. It’s all becoming too much.

“T-too much—“ you try and tell Carmy, but he doesn’t slow down immediately.

“I’ve got you. You can take it.” He’s still watching your cunt at your hips recklessly move against his hand. He can’t believe he made you squirt. He wants to stay in this moment as long as possible.

After he’s finally decided you’ve had enough, he removes his fingers from you. As if on autopilot, he places the digits in his mouth, licking the remnants of your slick off of them. You pull him down by the back of his neck to kiss him deeply.

“Fuck, Carm. That was— I don’t even know what to say.” You don’t need to think of anything else, though, because Carmen does the rest of the talking.

“You did so good for me. Holy shit that was—God, you’re so fucking pretty. I want to do that over and over and over—“

“Woah let’s slow down a sec. I need to remember which side is my left or or my right first.”

“Sorry… got a little bit excited.”

From then on Carmy loves to make you squirt. His favorite thing to do is bring a mirror into it, so you can see how fucking gorgeous you look squirting around his fingers. Also he definitely starts to try and learn how to make you squirt with his cock after this….

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto smut #the bear #brain rot

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saintblk · 11 months

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*ೃ— spider’s web | NANAMI KENTO

warnings: foul language, smut, p in v, vaginal penetration, slight slut-shaming, sort of kinda sub!nanami, implied virgin!nanami, nerd!nanami, college au— gender neutral afab reader, considered to be black + thick

word count: 606 (so short i know>_<)

note: ngl idk if i like this but i been having nerd!nanami brainrot for a while i might write another part to this idk

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS INTERACT AT YOUR OWN RISK

NANAMI KENTO prided himself on his work ethic. he didn’t allow for anything, or anyone, to come between him and his perfect gpa. that included skipping out on gojo’s dumb parties, handing work in far earlier than he needed to, and spending all his free time in the library. it also included approaching professors and insisting he get to work on his own. one thing he despised most was depending on other people for a good grade.

so when you were assigned to be his partner for a research paper, he wasted no time in raising the concern with the prof before he left the lecture hall. unfortunately, he’d be quickly turned away after some speech about working with people in the real world.

as he suspected, meeting with you was as difficult as he expected it to be. as soon as you approached him for contact information, he couldn’t help but further curse your prof. you were followed by your equally loud friends, dressed in short revealing clothes. nanami, to his assumption, had you figured out in a minute.

he was not surprised by your lack of response to his texts, how little you showed up to class, and the new man he saw on your arm every week. to him, you were nothing but a manipulative little slut who had everyone wrapped around their finger, and he refused to be taken advantage of.

the position he found himself in just a few days later would say otherwise. you showed up at his dorm abruptly, informing him the library was closed for renovations neither of you knew about. he allowed you to come in and bit his tongue when you plopped down on his bed.

the last thing he expected was to have you climb atop him, tight walls enveloping his shaft as you sunk down onto his member. he couldn’t recall exactly what led to it; at least not with the way you clenched around him. while he failed to stifle his whimpers and groans, you ground your hips down against his in an attempt to force his noises out.

“lemme hear you,” you breath. “know you wanna let it out.”

as if he was waiting for those words, nanami let out a choked whine and clasped at your pudgy hips. he needily bucked his hips up into you, thrusting his aching member between your walls. a loud and sudden moan escaped your mouth, encouraging him to repeat his actions.

as he chased the unfamiliar feeling overcoming him, he mindlessly pistoned in and out of you. your nails dug into his chest and your mind went blank. every time he hit the spot inside you that made your toes curl, you felt yourself lose more and more of your sanity to him.

“f-feels so good-fuck…” he bites out.

nanami, who’d never been inside anything besides his own fists, fucked into you with reckless abandon. any concern he might’ve had about the assignment flitted from his brain as did his reservations about you. it was not long before you found sweet release and gushed onto his pelvis with nanami following close behind. despite trying to hold out the way you clenched around his manhood made it impossible. with a bruising grip on your waist, he thrust into you until he emptied his seed into your womb.

it didn’t take very long for him to knock out from exertion, only to come to with an email from you, the attached document containing a nearly complete assignment. though he might’ve thought being your partner would be absolutely pointless, it seemed you were useful for something after all.

#nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x black reader #nanami kento smut #jjk x black reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #anime x black!reader #collection :: jjk #꒰ slim’s works ꒱

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netherworldpost · 2 days

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The Cold Hearted Amateur Economist Studying the Annual Budget ($113.4 million proposed 2023) for the Chicago Public Library to state "This Is a Stupidly Great Deal."

I am not a professional economist.

To be clear, and to start with, I do not run economic data for real world scenarios for clients or governments or any institutions.

I do run fantasy economic models for fantasy worlds (elves, dwarves, dragons, etc.) for private clients (nerds with more cash than time).

But to be clear I am not a real world economist. So there will be variables I don't know/care about.

The Chicago (hi, I live in Chicago) public library proposed budget

for 2023 is

$113,400,000

(source)

Which is a lot of money, objectively speaking, when you look at it as an annual price tag of "I need $113,400,000. For, um, this year. Next year it'll be more."

In addition to being an amateur economist, as I call myself, because I deal exclusively in fantasy-world economics exclusively

I was a professional graphic designer for many years and have dealt with charts, graphs, information displays, etc.

for a really long time

From the above source, 24.3% (about $27,556,200) is provided by grants, leaving 75.7% (about $85,843,800) to raise.

Still a big chunk of cash.

Damn near $86 million bucks.

That would buy so many zines.

Is it worth it?! LET'S GO BACK TO "I WAS A FORMER GRAPHIC DESIGNER" and dealt with charts and things, a lot, to raise cash for weird projects, a lot.

$85,843,800 (above figure to raise) divided by 365 (sorry leap year, we're being un-generous) is $235,188.49 a day.

Nearly. A quarter. Million dollars. A day.

Wow.

But wait...

...there is more than one person living in Chicago.

Which means that it is NOT a daily bill to ONE person for $235,188.49. It is a daily bill for for 1/2,665,039 PEOPLE, given the city's population.

(source)

To be fair, not everyone pays taxes, for a variety of reasons.

Since I'm not a professional economist, let's be brutally unfair and guess only 1/3 of the city pays taxes. It's far more than that, but, yknow...

...amateur economist privilege.

2,665,039 x 0.33 = 879,462.87... we'll... just round... up... this isn't SAW.

FUN FACT, though! You can borrow SAW from the Chicago Public Library for $0.00!

Resuming the point!

Daily bill of $235,188.49 sent to a collective of 879,463 people whom paying taxes to fund the library using the above math.

(Folks astute in math are going to immediately get my end point that this is cheap)

$235,188.49 (daily budget) divided by 879,463 (people)

is...

$0.26742283643 or rounded up

$0.27 per day.

The Chicago Public Library costs less than $0.30 per day per tax payer to cover the entire city.

Less. Than $0.30. Per day. Per tax payer.

...wow.

You can do similar math by checking your local library's budget and comparing it to your local population and being as ungenerous, or more specific if you wish to get a closer-to-accurate number, when comparing tax payers.

If you want to say "1 out of every 3 people paying taxes is too high" (it's not, but let's just say it is for the sake of furthering my point of "the library is an intensely great deal) and instead... say...

1 out of every 5 people pay taxes

because you want to be a contrarian for whatever personal reasons

1/5 = 20%, 20% of 2,665,039 people is 533,008 (rounded up, per above SAW rules)

$235,188.49 (daily budget) divided by 533,008 (people in this ultra contrarian numbers formula) is $0.44124757977, or, $0.44 per day per tax payer.

Using 1/3 as a tax payer base is extremely low. It's easier math. I chose it to make a point.

Pushing it further to 1/5 as a tax payer base raises the daily cost by ($0.44-0.27) $0.17.

Use your local library. Your literal pocket change pays for it.

This is a "I love the library" post sponsored by the library research I am doing for a private client and work that'll be used for future Netherworld Post releases.

#library #library postings #local library #library funding #i love the library #public library #public libraries

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dairy-farmer · 23 days

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Oh? Ooooooooh~☆? What's THIS my mind has brought me?

You remember my Time Stop Au? My mind, genius that she is, has oft be asking! But what if The Reverse Tho? And isn't THAT a delightful question indeed??? >:Dc

Because everyone with EYES could tell you? That Batman? Desperately in need of some orgasms and a nap. Just in general. Always.

Would it fix him? No. But it WOULD probably help! Especially in Tim's early years.

And! Who has greater resistance to Magical Temptation? Batman... or Robin? If YOU were a Time Effecting Magical Device and trying hide from the Fuzz? Would you try and tempt BATMAN to sneak you into his pocket? Or wee baby Newbie Robin?

*sparkles in Innocent Time Piece* ~✨️ Thaaaaats right, kid. Pick them up. Promise not to lead you too THAT many poor life choices!

So Tim finds a neat watch. Looks like one of his parents antiques. Shiny.

Discovers LATER? Omg. He can FREEZE TIME? Gets SO much work done. Because he is a Nerd. But! He also gets super used to using it. For homework, naps, extra training. You name it. And it helps! He's doing a lot better as Robin.

But Bruce isn't getting better. Is in fact, in one of his Tough Case, self-destructive spirals. He needs to sleep. Eat. Rest for just ONE minute! But he won't. And it's BAD. Tim doesn't know what to do. It's not like he can FORCE him. But he knows Stress can kill.

He's franticly researching. Ways to bring down stress. Ways to get people to sleep. Anything! And... huh. "Jerking off" huh? Well he KNOWS there no way Bruce is going to go for it. It might feel good and God forbid THAT happen! No, we gotta punish ourself for days and worry all the people around us!

But... wait...

Looking at his Watch? Tim thinks... But what if I do it?

So he brings his watch to the cave. Goes to a changing stall with his uniform. Waits. Aaaand, there! Alfred bullying Bruce into a shower. Water starting. Give it a minute. Alfred's satisfied he's actually in, is leaving. Elevator opens. It closes.

Click. Time stops.

Slips out of his clothes so they won't get wet. Leaves everything in the stall. Pads over to the shower. And there is Bruce. Wet and miserable. Leaning forward against the wall with his eyes closed. Letting the water just run down his back. Half-hard but clearly intent on ignoring it.

Not on Tim's watch! He did RESEARCH. Using Pornography!

So, carefully, he rubs and strokes Bruce's cock. Doesn't REALIZE yet, that because time is frozen? It can't react to the teasing until time starts again. So obviously he must not be doing it right. Maybe if he rubs and teases the head? No... he's supposed to cups and roll the balls, right? Wait. That lady used her mouth.

He's pretty sure Bruce can't FIT.

But he CAN lick! And he's in the shower, so he's clean. Tim's licked weirder stuff for less. Does he do the whole thing? No reaction. Maybe try sucking on just the head? How though? He tries several ways on now seem to work. Darn. Maybe rub that and lick there? No, but what if he...

He tries for over an hour. Eventually concedes defeat. He just cant figure it out! Maybe hes just bad at this. He'll do more research and try again. Bruce needs this, he's sure of it. So, sighing, he let's go and pads over to his dressing stall. Honestly his hands are cramping and his tounge feels like he licked sandpaper. But he TRIED! What did he do wrong?

Click.

The sensations slam into Bruce like a semi-truck. His hips bucking back but being unable to escape the onslaught of pleasure. Hot stroking hands, inexperienced but worshipping, teasing EVERYTHING. Then a MOUTH? He chokes on the cries that want to rip out of him. TIM is here. He... he will NOT.

But after twenty minutes, when it at most takes him ten, and no sign of him? He doesn't much get a choice. Tim find him, hand pressed desperately over his own mouth, cumming AGAIN into the growing puddle on the shower floor. His whole body twitching, shameful, unable to stop as some unseen force keeps trying to suck him dry.

Tim looks so startled.

Helps him without judgement. He always seems to be doing that. Even though he's just found his Mentor utterly ruined, he doesn't even blink. Just helps. Bruce... Bruce doesn't deserve him. Clings anyway, as another orgasm rips through him.

Stops pushing him away, after that. Is alot closer.

Tim is THRILLED. It DID help! But inevitably, Bruce starts to spiral again. Not because of him. But does it matter? Stressed to the point of breaking down. Every other method exhausted. Time to MAKE Time.

He has to search a little, this time. But finds Bruce in his room. Already trying to De-stress. Good! Tim'll help. Has been working out how to do that himself. Doesn't think it will FIT, yet, but he can definitely do that thing the lady did! Where she rubs herself against the tip. And? He has been practicing fitting things in his mouth! He can do it this time.

Tim leaves, certain he did a good job. And Bruce? Who just wanted a quick jerk before bed? Gets slammed with sucking wet heat and eager hands. Another marathon he can't escape. Butt stuff! Cause Tim found his lube on the bed and remembered that article he read on prostate health.

He has such precise, clever little fingers. Bruce doesn't so much see stars as whole ass nebula. Has a drained, thousand yard stare and early morning sheets washing session the next day. Calmer though.

And it continues. Bruce gets Too Stressed? Tim brings out the watch. Bruce quickly figures out the link, but can't figure out the culprit. Is pretty damn sure he took their virginity. But is it really "taking" if they use you like a dildo? Regardless. Tim has been a rock. No prying question, no judgements, just support.

It brings them closer.

He can admit... he craves a warm body to hold. Feels like a monster, making up the excuse that Tim will be on gaurd for their mystery assailant. Bruce know he won't be able to stop them. It's a magic user. But... Tim is warm beside him. And maybe Bruce can pretend that it's Tim, depraved as that is, instead of some stanger. Hold him close after.

And Tim KNOWS he should stop. Or come clean. But? It's HELPING. And they're so close now! And... and it feels so GOOD. Bruce's cock, grinding inside him. Lifting himself and rocking back down. Or sucking him and just relaxing into it, like maybe Bruce wanted him to warm his cock for hours. Or.. or fucking BRUCE, feeling the other end of the dildo rocking and moving inside him, every time he thrusts, wondering if he's hitting that good spot, gonna make Bruce cum.

Tim can't help it. He wants to be GOOD for him. Ride him and suck him and make him feel good. Let Bruce use him and fill him up. Keep him full. He's pretty sure he's turning into a pervert. And it's getting worse.

He's started to notice... well...

Dick looks REALLY stressed you know? Tim could probably help~

-🐼🐼🐼

😍😍😍!!!! tim stopping time to fyck vruce and bruce latching onto tim because he doesn't "judge" while being phantom fucked. tim starting to escalate and setting his eyes on dick 👀👀!!!

#answered asks #asks #anonymous #brutim

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escaping-to-fiction · 19 days

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Bucky was also a physics nerd (affectionate)

(Image direct from IMDB)

As a means of procrastination, I’ve been going down a rabbit hole of research about real life John “Bucky” Egan (mainly post war), and I noticed something interesting that I don’t think I have seen mentioned in the ‘Master of the Air’ Tumblr tags yet, so thought to share it, but apologies if I have missed it and this is common knowledge.

It also fits in well with the BAMF!Bucky, and highly competent and intelligent Bucky posts I have seen floating around in the last couple of days.

---

Gale Cleven wasn’t the only physicist/physics nerd (affectionate) in the 100th. It looks like that Bucky graduated from Georgetown University a couple of years (1948) after the war with a bachelors degree in Physics. This is mentioned in the USAAF bulletin/obituary about his death/funeral, and in at least one newspaper obituary about his death too (I am pretty sure I found a second newspaper article that mentioned it, but I lost track of it). (references are in the hyperlinks and shown as photos attached after the read more cut off)

According to this newspaper obituary, before the Korean war [but after Physics degree? my assumption], Bucky was the assistant director of education (must have been good at teaching?) at the Air Force ground operational school at Southern Pines, N.C. He became a full colonel while there in 1951.

His military obituary also says that after Bucky came back from the Korean war (1950-1953), he attended the National War College starting in the summer (August) of 1957 and then by July 1958 was back at work with new orders – a year would be enough time for a Masters degree, although I can’t find any further publicly available information regarding what he studied there.

In the years between the Korean war and his time at the National War College, he was stationed in Japan and Hawaii.

(His Wikipedia page also mentions that before joining the USAAF that he also went to St. Thomas College in St. Paul, Minnesota, the only other source that says this is this newspaper obituary. No mention though of what he studied there.)

---

So, Bucky like Buck probably had multiple degrees which I thought was interesting in itself, but of particular interest was the fact that one of them was in physics. So I am now imagining Buck and Bucky both geeking out about maths/space/flying physics (aeronautics) etc. (maybe to the exasperation of everyone else). Or did Bucky pick up his physics interest from Buck and did he then attend every one of Buck’s calculus classes in the Stalag, or did he help him mark the homework? Lots of potential fanfic gold!

Below the cut there are some of the references as images if you don't want to use the links

(Tumblr has made this one blurry - HD image via this link, but I have added the whole text to the image description if that is more convenient)

#masters of the air #mota #john egan #bucky egan #John “Bucky” C. Egan #John C. Egan #historical background #and fanfic goldmine if you want #BAMF Bucky #intelligent Bucky #highly competent Bucky #Bucky isn't stupid #Physics #Physics geek #(affectionate)

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 2 months

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tuesday again 2/13/2024

writing cover letters like "Market Research Firm 953989464860, will YOU be my Valentine?"

also, a fallout 4 femslash fic for femslash feb

listening

Fresh Blood by the Eels off their 2009 album Hombre Loco. i would say this is another "i think a vampire probably wrote this low, grooving track" but there are several howls featured. wikipedia says it is about a werewolf. this song sounds like it has a simple bassline and simple drums but it knows what it's about. it's probably secretly really complicated but i specced in knowing about fabric, not about music.

youtube

it makes me want to ice skate really fast and also sounds like watching broken highway lane dividers go by late at night. fascinating that the back half of the four-plus minute song is fully instrumental. definitely a song for when you are traveling, or perhaps proceeding. spotify

Sun down on the sorry day By nightlights the children pray I know you're probably gettin' ready for bed Beautiful woman get out of my head I'm so tired of the same old crud Sweet baby I need fresh blood

i've been mainlining The Black Keys' album Brothers so it makes sense this popped up on my Discover Weekly spotify playlist

reading

in 2015, the year i dropped out of college, the closest comic/weird nerd shit store was a forty minute drive from my house. i bought the first issue of the serialized anthology comics magazine The Island bc i liked the Moebius-esque cover by Brandon Graham, before i knew who either of those artists were or that i liked them. i think it was ten bucks, and having to show my drivers' license really sticks in my brain for some reason. the point i am slowly approaching is that the magazine only ran for fifteen issues, and i didn't buy any other copies bc ten bucks a month was too dear for me, but it was a tremendous incubator for artists i would end up loving. about half the time i stumble across a lovely self-contained book that knocks my socks off i find out it started life in The Island.

All his life, Hank Cho wanted to join the ranks of the Habsec—the rulers of the orbital habitat his people call home. But when he finds a powerful, forbidden weapon from the deep past, a single moment of violence sets his life—and the brutal society of the habitat—into upheaval. Hunted by the cannibalistic Habsec and sheltered by former enemies, Cho finds himself caught within a civil war that threatens to destroy his world. A new barbarian sci-fi adventure by SIMON ROY (PROPHET, JAN'S ATOMIC HEART, Tiger Lung), originally serialized in ISLAND MAGAZINE.

Simon Roy's Habitat asks: do you want to hear a story about a generation ship gone wrong? this is a guy who really knows how to draw mechs and all their fiddly bits and loves doing it, which is a really transferrable skill to lovingly detailing the crumbling brutalist neo-mesoamerican architecture. the Habsec cannibals and their bits and pieces of scavenged armor blend in so well, it's genuinely shocking when we see someone in full, kept up, incredibly colorful armor. gorgeous, gorgeous book. love a fucked up generation ship.

found while perusing the stacks of the library that was closest to a bunch of other admin errands i was running, bc i finally have a tx drivers license and can start collecting tx library cards

watching

im also asking myself why the hell i'm watching yellowstone with my bestie and her husband. it has every trigger warning and a lot of them would make me decline the experience had i looked them up beforehand. however, the inevitablilty of each little tragedy feeding into the circular threshing maw that is the Dutton family is really clicking for me. like well! that mom sure did die in the most traumatizing way possible! and wow that really does go a long way toward explaining why the daughter is self-medicating to an alarming degree AND why no one else is doing anything about it bc they're all still mad at her for being very tangential to her mom's death!

the amount of Stuff that happens per episode is truly astonishing. one of my favorite parts of the ttrpg Beamsaber is the downtime between missions, bc you get to have some really bonkers interactions with people who don't usually interact. despite its huge cast, Yellowstone doesn't yet feel incoherent or like it's jumped the shark in its first season bc it's really successful at getting its huge cast to have unexpected interactions with each other. this sounds a little bit like praising it for knowing how to be good television, but this is a neowestern about a land grab that's also a familial dynasty drama that's really leaning into the familial dynasty part of it. it would be very easy for this to become incoherent or bad at switching between storylines, but so far it's really good at it. it's not beamsaber or black sails bc nothing will ever be beamsaber or black sails but it's really scratching that itch of many small rapidly shifting factions and rapidly shifting political goals bc each child is their own horrible little faction and they have a lot of time where they're trapped in cars or helicopters together getting around their ranch, which is simply too large.

we're trying to watch the yellowstone franchise in release order, and the yellowstone prequel with tim mcgraw came out between the first and second seasons. we will not be continuing this. this is a bog standard wagon train western. cripplingly boring after the brazen insanity of the first season. also i think it is in poor taste at best and irresponsible at worst to show a suicide on screen.

i said i don't know why i'm watching this but i do know why i'm watching yellowstone, and that's bc my bestie keeps seeing tiktoks about it. sometimes im influenced in real life

playing

changed my sheets this week and didn't chortle at the TOP OR BOTTOM tag which is how i know im having. a brain time. another way you can tell im having a brain time are these screenshots of the Breath of the Wild map. as you may or may not remember from last week, last week i had very little of the map filled out.

now is this EXPLORED? good heavens no. i have under 40 shrines DISCOVERED. i have simply beelined to each tower and went VERY fast. or was very sneaky. the three towers i have not bothered to climb yet are the ones i would have to actually fight some guys about. fuck the akkala tower for real.

i love to accidentally get way too close to dragons and die. some fun things about this run: incredibly, exceptionally rainy. except for the stint in the literal desert and the five minutes in the snowfield it has been raining about 70% of the time, which has made climbing very annoying. another fun thing about this run: exceptionally low ancient shaft drop rate, which makes getting ancient arrows to safely kill guardians from afar very difficult. bc as discussed above i have optimized this little blond boy to be very fast and very sneaky to get up the towers very quickly in the two minute spans of time it is not raining.

another fun thing about this run: not very good at successfully spitting out riders next to horses. you can only see the tip of spinch's hat bc he is underground.

i have unlocked the elephant and the falcon, i haven't gotten much farther than finding painkillers for the goron boss and stalled out at the yiga clan stealth mission. bc despite liking being a sneaky fast sniper out in the world, i fucking hate an enforced stealth mission. i don't think i ever got past this part in my other run either.

not jacked enough to unlock the master sword, i think you need twelve hearts? i would rather have more stamina so i can get faster horses + the princess's horse.

after i unlocked a bunch of towers i spent a goofy amount of time in the Lake Floria system herself hunting for treasure chests (there are easily fifty chests in the water. wild) to get the 10k rupees to unlock the last great fairy. i also spent several real-life hours video game mining video game ore. this was deeply annoying bc i sold off all my gems to get 10k rupees and then had nothing to get those sweet sweet high level upgrades with. this was the point on sunday night where i realized i was getting irrationally annoyed with a game that is supposed to be fun, and is NOT meant to support the kind of grinding i was doing. that was enough video game for one day thank you.

did you know there's a korok in the shrine of resurrection? me either.

also did you know magnesis ACTIVATES on the windmills in Hebra but i can't figure out how to get close enough to any of them to do anything about it. annoying.

this has got to be so funny from ganons point of view. i unlocked the elephant and the falcon in under a week of in-game time and then spent several in-game months mining and collecting clothes. would that make ganon more or less anxious d'you think

making

cross stitch update. this confetti in the rover square. i am dying. here’s what it will look like finished, and a link to buy the pattern

i had such high hopes for pin stitches as a thread finishing method but i had to rip out a mistake near a pin stitch and accidentally ripped out the entire pin and single confetti cross stitch. so what the fuck. i am an insane woman who likes to fully submerge and lightly hand wash projects before they get framed to remove all the oils (yes i wash my hands before stitching, i do get paranoid) and i am not confident pin stitches will hold up to that. oh well. the loop method is pretty great in halving the number of ends i have to weave in, even though i feel like it is extremely wasteful and leaves me with lots of short useless lengths my cats would love to eat. so the gains from halving thread management are really not offset by the meticulous cat management i must embark upon every time i do my fun relaxing hobby.

and the back, which is a horror. and will only become more of a horror. but once this is framed no one will actually see it so it's FINE. i am FINE with this. i started this knowing there was going to be lots of confetti. that's the point of this masochistic pattern

i wrote the first chapter of this fic last summer and outlined the emotional beats (but not much else) while procrastinating moving and have finally lightly polished the first chapter and threw it on the archive. im trying to let things molder less and just fucking post them in the hopes this activates the writing part of my brain again but who could say what's going on up there. this is still something that hasn't quite returned to me post-covid round 2

this will eventually be an E-rated 5+1 fic fixing all the fucking bullshit around Cait Fallout4's companion quest. she will NOT go in the magic chair that tortures her into not being a junkie and being the perfect waifu. she is going to stumble backwards and accidentally into some harm reduction and get railed by a mean top. the mean top and the harm reduction won't fix her but they certainly won't hurt.

#being unemployed is great for the amount of Stuff in these posts even though it is very bad for all other aspects of my life #tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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bloodgulchblog · 1 year

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Hi!! Ok sorry for the mammoth question I’m about to ask but you’re super knowledgeable on Halo stuff and I need help- sorry if I don’t word things well my brain is having a day

Ok so I’m writing a Spartan character and I can’t find too much on the specifics of how they were trained. I’m trying to determine what kind of trauma would come out of being beaten into a Spartan, especially the IIs and IIIs.

Basically trying to figure out what kinda trauma they have/how bad it is so I can roadmap my character’s recovery yknow

*CRACKS MY KNUCKLES*

You came to the right nerd. This is pretty much like throwing a kong ball full of peanut butter into my enclosure. This post is gigantic and I had so much fun.

If you want to read it directly for yourself, you're looking for Nylund's Halo books. The Fall of Reach covers the Spartan-IIs, and Ghosts of Onyx covers the Spartan-IIIs. I'd happily recommend either of those, they're well-liked Halo novels for a reason. Ghosts does work pretty well on its own if you want to focus on the IIIs, but it benefits from having read Fall first. (...And First Strike, but I will contain myself.)

If you want IVs, which are very different because they were selected and augmented as adults with military experience, your options are New Blood by Forbeck or the comic Initiation. (I'm not really a big fan of either so it just depends on if you'd prefer it from Buck or Palmer.)

That said, let's get going.

(....I want the readmore cut to be here, but Tumblr keeps moving it when I make edits. So.)

Spartan-IIs and Spartan-IIIs: Training

These guys have a lot in common, and they feel weirdly familiar to one another. (Just enough that the differences feel even weirder.)

Both groups started training as young children. The IIs were all six years old, the IIIs cast a wider net. Ghosts mentions kids as young as 4 in Alpha, but that doesn't... make sense actually. Because we have canon DOBs we know Carter would've been 12 and Jun would've been 8, and those numbers feel closer to right, but I'll get to why in a bit. (Researching this post has made me have a revelation about Spartan-III ages.)

Spartan-IIs were selected for genetic matches to a profile that Dr. Halsey determined was likely to accept the augmentation procedures. (The failure rate was still very high though. I'll talk about that.) They were kidnapped from their homes by ONI operatives and brought to Reach. Here's what they were told because hahahahaha big iconic moment:

(One note: Spartan-II training began in 2517. This was 8 years before the Covenant attack on Harvest in 2525. They were absolutely trained to bring down human targets, and were taught that it was necessary to sacrifice human lives for the good of innocent people. The first class of Spartan-IIIs kicked off in 2532, and they would focus from the beginning on Covenant.)

There were a total of 75 Spartan-II candidates. No one died during training (...at least I am pretty sure, if someone died during training it was a retcon introduced later) but it was hard. Halopedia has a pretty thorough rundown of things we know they did. Most of those are in The Fall of Reach. The Tango Company bit is from First Strike. Bonus: Here's a story Gray Team tells in Envoy that isn't mentioned:

(If you want to know who the most feral and defiant S-IIs are with the most atypical profiles, you want to look at Gray Team.)

Surviving Spartan-IIs are going to be 49 years old as of Halo Infinite. (Though, like all UNSC infantry, they've spent huge amounts of time in cryo during ship travel over the years. Sergeant Johnson was chronologically 78 in Halo 3, if that helps.)

Spartan-IIIs were selected along a wider profile because the augmentations were changed by Colonel Ackerson to be 1) cheaper and 2) have a much higher success rate with a broader margin for compatibility. They were working with orphans the UNSC picked up on planets the Covenant attacked, so they also could not be as selective as the original project. The young S-IIIs' fear and anger toward the Covenant (and their desire for revenge) were huge motivators. There were hundreds of Spartan-IIIs in all 3 classes. (They exhausted the available candidate pool after Alpha, and Ackerson was pushing for efforts to more widely genetically profile children from colony worlds as a result…. 😬)

Here's how the first company of Spartan-IIIs (Alpha Company) got the intro. (We don't know what Beta and Gamma were told, but it's likely to be similar):

(Ghosts of Onyx, Chapter 6, this is immediately followed by a bit from the perspective of a boy named Shane that would probably be really useful to you if you're looking for some insight to what those kids were feeling. It's just too long to paste.)

Another note: Chief Mendez trained both groups of Spartans. We have fewer detailed descriptions of S-III training shenanigans, because there is a lot of time skipping during Ghosts of Onyx to demonstrate the catastrophic losses suffered by the Alpha and Beta companies. Given that Mendez was involved, though, they are likely to have been highly similar.

Based on what we do get of training in Ghosts, I see the S-III teams being pitted against one another in exercises more often than we see mention of the IIs doing. (This is likely because S-II was on Reach, a huge ass military base, and had much more access to personnel that could be dragged into this than Onyx, which was extremely remote and established solely for the purpose of minting Spartans.)

The Spartan-IIIs had much less training time than the IIs... at least originally. S-III Alpha Company had 4 years compared to the S-II's 8 years. ONI was banking on improved augmentation protocols and technology to make up for it. Kurt pushed for the later two classes to get more training time.

Another another note: Kurt, if you were not aware, is Kurt-051 (Kurt Ambrose, using the name ONI gave him to work under.) Kurt was a Spartan-II abducted by ONI (making it look like he died on a mission) specifically for this job in 2531. Kurt loved those kids. Their deaths weighed heavily on him. More on that later.

Spartan-II Augmentations

I wasn't sure where else to put this, so it's going here: Spartan-II augmentations had a huge wash-out rate. S-III had a much much much smaller percentage.

There were 75 Spartan-II candidates, and only 33 came out as intended. The rest of them suffered serious side effects, and several died.

Halopedia once again has a big pile of information.

I bring this up for two reasons: the first is that it's a thing they all went through and all lost people who were as close as siblings to.

The second is that some Spartan-IIs that initially washed out of the program at this point were rehabilitated. Dr. Halsey worked on individual therapies for Spartans whose bodies rejected augmentations, restoring some quality of life and, in some cases, successfully getting them back to a point where they could continue training. (Black Team and Red Team (Halo Wars edition) are both made up entirely of former wash-outs.)

ONI created jobs for and retained most Spartan-II wash-outs that couldn't continue as Spartans. Serin Osman, Musa, and Fhajad are examples.

Differences Between Spartan-III Companies

There were 3 companies of S-IIIs trained, so if you're working on a III you'll want to establish which one they were from. You can identify the generation of S-IIIs by the letter in their tag number: Jun-A266, Lucy-B091, Ash-G099. Alpha, Beta, Gamma.

(Sidenote on picking Spartan tag numbers for OCs: There's a specific range of numbers. S-II had 150 candidates observed even though only 75 were taken and trained, so their tag numbers range from 1-150. Alpha Company had 497 kids, Beta had 418, Gamma had 330. WIki's really good for making sure you're not duplicating an existing number. Spartan-IIs are pretty much all accounted for canonically but if you're writing a II OC you're already in your own city anyway.)

Here's a good wiki trailhead for you, individual articles for the companies tell you what we do know about their training, too. But if you like reading my words about things:

ALPHA COMPANY:

The first group Kurt and Mendez trained, starting in the last days of 2532 and going active in 2536. There are very few surviving members of Alpha Company, only seven canonical, because almost all of them were killed in one operation.

Ages are kind of fucky for Alpha Company, as I mentioned earlier because Ghosts implies they were really young, but the problem with that is that after only 4 years of training they would have not been old enough to undergo augmentation. Jun, Emile, and Carter were Alphas. Jun was 28, Emile was 29, and Carter was 32 at Reach, so they would've been from 8-12 years old at the start of training. I feel like we're meant to go with that.

That means surviving Alphas would be in their late 30s as of Infinite.

BETA COMPANY:

Started training in 2539 and went active in 2545. Kurt was devastated by the loss of the Alphas (he's terribly upset when he finds out what happened to them, the information was kept from him.) He tried to train Beta company better and harder (he managed to squeeze two more years in for them), but in the end it did not save them from a similar fate. There are a handful of surviving Betas that were not present for Operation TORPEDO, but Tom and Lucy were the only survivors that were there. Kat and Noble Six were Betas. They were both 22 when they died on Reach. (That puts them both at 9 at the start of training. Tom and Lucy were a little younger, they both would have been 6.) Ages are still slightly fucky there because that means Lucy and Tom would've been 12 at augment, but that... is close enough to almost work, sort of, I guess, oh Halo you're so silly. Anyway. Surviving Betas would be in their late 20s/early 30s as of Infinite.

GAMMA COMPANY:

The last class of IIIs started training in 2545. (I had to do a little digging to confirm this year because it was authorized in '44, you're welcome.) They had just been deployed in 2552 and most of them left Onyx a week before the Onyx Conflict (you know, where the whole planet disintegrated into Forerunner nonsense) kicked off, with only three teams left on-planet for that shitmess. They were being shoved out the door because Reach had just fallen and everything was on fucking fire.

They had the most training and Kurt and Mendez were terribly proud of them. These guys would be the youngest S-IIIs both in terms of yes, that's how time works, and in terms of how old they were when they started training. We have canonical DOBs on several of them that put them at 6 and 7. This is significant because the Gammas are the ones that were being rushed into production: They were put on hormones to induce puberty early when most of them were 12ish, so that they could be augmented. (You know, horrifying!) (This is the thing that kicked off my wild confusion about Spartan-III ages that has consumed me for the last hour. Thanks, Halo! :,) )

The big thing to know about the Gammas is that they got built different. Kurt hated what had happened to the Alphas and Betas, hated it desperately, and was willing to do anything he thought would give the Gammas a chance at survival.

Kurt changed the augmentations. He did this without authorization. The Gammas' brains got tweaked to give them a heightened response to stress/adrenaline that makes them more able to block out pain/shock and keep fighting, which Kurt hoped would help them make it through the meatgrinder missions ONI was determined to use them for. The problem? The Gammas require regular injections of antipsychotics to keep them emotionally stable, and they can become less rational and start having extreme responses that make them a danger to themselves and others if they are deprived of them. (They call these drugs "smoothers.")

Anyway, the Gammas were 13-14ish at the end of the war, and surviving Gammas (there are significantly more of them) are in their late 20s by Infinite. Their altered augmentations mean they're considered unsuited for high-visibility work, ONI considers them a potential huge liability if a Gamma ever goes off the rails so they prefer to keep them away from people. A lot of Gammas that are still alive have ended up as Headhunters. (That's also the case for a lot of surviving S-IIIs generally. I don't know as much about Headhunters, they're a part of the lore I find uninteresting.)

Also just because I feel like it, here's Kurt with one of the Gammas dying in his arms:

What Are Spartans Like?

"Records show Spartans routinely exhibited mildly sociopathic tendencies, difficulty with socialization. Furthermore…" - Halo 4

We're getting into more and more headcanon and interpretation, but hey. I offer this as creative compost for your bin.

Spartans are weird. Spartans are weird. The overall portrait of an adult S-II/III is that they're mostly quiet, serious, and very intense about whatever they're doing. Some are more talkative and sociable than others, some are more unsettling than others. There's some wide variability on how careful they are about other people and how responsible they do or do not feel toward them.

As far as Spartans go, I feel like John is high on the polite end, and I have reams I've said and could say about how he handles himself. You've got Spartans who are very contained like him (I'd say Owen-B096 is another good example, he's able to be shockingly gentle with a pack of scared high school kids in Battle Born.) But you've also got examples like, say, Emile, and Gray Team, and Kevin from this one story in the Fractures anthology:

Let me break down some major traits:

LACK OF NORMAL SOCIALIZATION/GENERAL SPARTAN WEIRDNESS:

Overall, Spartans are poorly socialized. Their priorities and experiences are so wildly different from most peoples' that it's a difficult gap for them to bridge, and they're required to hide the details of their personal histories because that's very dangerous and inconvenient information (you know, for the UNSC) to have around. They were isolated from other people as children, and as adults they are extremely busy and the things that make them different make it difficult for them to make up for lost time on this.

If you've seen me writing John, I have him struggling a lot because it feels like social situations are always full of weird traps he can't see because he just doesn't have the background for them. There are so, so many things you casually assume another person is familiar with in conversation, and so many little social call-and-responses that someone who was raised under such weird circumstances wouldn't have.

There's a post that goes around sometimes about a small child who has never heard "Later, alligator" responding with "Goodbye, hippo" or something like that because they'd never heard the "After a while, crocodile" response and had to guess at what they were supposed to do. I think about that post sometimes when I'm thinking about Spartans. They're smart, and they can imitate and figure things out and get good at faking more experience than they have (and the older a Spartan is the longer they've been picking things up), but they need something to work with.

A Spartan-II never snuck out with friends after curfew to go to a concert, was never nervous about who was going out with who, and never stressed about what they were going to do after high school. But they know that enough people experience those things to pretend they understand.

It's easiest to lie by not saying anything at all as much as possible, because then you don't give anyone who's watching you a little too closely something to pick apart. Let other people assume you're what they expect, and don't give them details to the contrary.

This makes most of them quiet and sort of awkward, unless they've put in effort on their own part to work on it. If a Spartan cares enough to learn to socialize and banter smoothly with non-Spartans, that tells you something about their priorities and who they are. (And possibly that they got extra training for a specific purpose that requires it.)

Getting out of socialization: Spartans were raised in a highly structured environment, and I think most of them find comfort in routines, rules, and regular procedures that are done the same way. Following general everyday UNSC rules = not being bawled out or punished. Following some extra important serious rules = feeling like you're doing the best thing you can possibly do to prevent disasters from happening. How much that has broken down for someone vs how much they still hang onto it is gonna be real individual. Some of them really will not like being pulled out of doing things the way they "should" be done.

Amongst themselves, Spartans communicate a lot by body language and hand signals. (S-IIs and S-IIIs use similar but slightly different hand signals because Kurt was a II and they innovated on what they picked up from him. I'd also say it's very likely that each class had some variations unique to them, like a dialect.) They're also so used to being in armor that they do a lot with just flashing different status light colors on their HUD, which is neat (and also on that page.)

As a footnote re: sex and romance, it's a thorny fandom question that is up to you to answer for how you prefer to read things, but it's fair play to say that most Spartan-IIs are probably at least mostly asexual due to their augmentations. S-IIIs have no major lore implying either way about it, though later depictions of the Gammas have seemed to indicate they're not particularly interested either. It's up to you how you want to go.

REACTIVENESS

The other thing about Spartans is they are trained to react immediately in a crisis and have had that tendency reinforced by horrible traumatic experiences. I don't like throwing around real world serious words for fictional character things, but I think PTSD is fair for most Spartans. Do real research if you want to incorporate that, I don't know the most about it and won't pretend whatever I'm doing is an actual portrayal. But I do think a lot about reactiveness.

The problem with being constantly ready to react to everything like it's a life-or-death situation is... most things are not life-or-death situations. It's hard on a person, and it makes you blow some things out of proportion in a way that can become a serious problem. (For example: A Spartan that feels safer when following specific routines and procedures getting way more frustrated than is really justified by someone breaking from protocol in a harmless but definite way.)

Spartans are really good at controlling anger and fear and probably will not go all the way off the handle, but they still tend to go for immediate responses to things that startle or scare them. Make a loud sound in a room full of Spartans, expect hands on weapons and some pointed barrels. They are always always always ready to go. It is incredibly difficult for them to relax.

Most Spartans probably remember a point (or multiple points) somewhere in their lives where their guard was down, and then everything exploded under them and maybe somebody died.

LOYALTY AND SACRIFICE

This is a lot more personal and individual. The majority of Spartans are very loyal to the UNSC, it's been trained into them from childhood. The degree to which a Spartan may possibly have become embittered about it is going to be super dependent on who they are and what has happened to them.

I think a lot of them probably tend to fall back on their mission and sense of purpose (especially re: the defense of humanity) for a bare kind of comfort when miserable (which they have reason to be often.) They have sacrificed so much of themselves, but it was worth it, right? They helped save humanity from the Covenant, right? They're helping save humanity from new problems, right?

Spartans were all taught that their cause is worth their lives, and they're willing to die for it. They have known people they loved and grew up with who did die for it, and this fits pretty naturally into coping with those losses.

If the cause isn't paramount and loyalty to the UNSC isn't worth dying for.... what does that make everything they've done, and everything they've lost? What does that make the deaths of their fellow Spartans?

(Survivor's guilt is gonna be big for all of them, but especially S-IIIs. 2/3 Spartan-III companies died in almost their entirety in one go. The surviving S-IIs had remarkably few losses until... Reach....... )

I've talked/thought about sacrifice a lot with the S-IIs, especially John because I'm always in hell writing about John and people have poked my askblog about it. If a Spartan could go back in time and change how their life went and prevent them from becoming a Spartan, would they?

Being a Spartan and that sense of purpose is so core to them that I really think most of them would not. This is their world. This is their lives. This is such a huge part of who they are that they don't know who they'd be otherwise.

I don't care for Mortal Dictata much (that's a whole different post), but a huge part of the plot of that book is that Kilo Five's S-II (Naomi) is reunited with her father as an adult and it's a very uncomfortable process because... she's not the little girl he lost, anymore.

......

I think that's everything I have on this.

I am a perpetual wellspring of information on this topic tho so you guys let me know if you have more things you wanna talk about re: this. :V

#asks #spartan-ii #spartan-iii #halo lore #speculation #advice for ocs i guess

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1tsjusty0u · 1 month

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hm. horse names. does link do much with horses + what did he name any horses he has + any personalities? also what is zelda's horse named

hrose…

hm!! id say he travels a bit with horses, its how he got to kakariko hateno and such. as time goes on he uses them less because they cant climb mountains well and he doesnt want to leave them in case monsters get to them/they wander off (despawn). also as time goes on he has fast travel so he doesnt have to use horses anymore which is kind of sad. he never uses the big horse even when he catches them

for names i like to think hes bad at naming things (shaking his hand) so you end up with names like twig or signpost. for his actual horses though id say he has all 5 slots; his first and main horse is Bug, shes probably gentle temperament because thats the type of horses that dont buck you off if you dont press L fast enough. he got zeldas ancestral horse and the big horse, zeldas horse having Saff as a placeholder name (safula reference), once zelda is freed though she names them Saffron + theyre now her horse. she keeps them. for the big horse, on one hand din is a fitting name, however thats kind of like naming your cat after a god that you believe in (like jesus.) it sort of works for greek gods and such but i dont think link would actually do that so. yeag. speaking of which while looking up where eponas name comes from possibly epona is actually the name of a celtic patron goddess for foals and horses so. snorts. ANYWAYS i think a kid would name the horse instead of link, and as such their name is Dinners. both in reference to din but also “how hungry” horse. for the other two horses, one would be once he finds out wild temperament horses have better stats (though how he finds this out is questionable, considering i dont think the horse facts guy mentions it + how i found out was from a croton video </3. pre calamity he probably found out by testing and researching/reading, so post cal is either a remnant from that or the horse facts guy Does tell him and we can ignore its not actually said in the base game 👍), and one is from just. not having a horse somewhere and temporarily taming it, however they follow him when hes not riding them and they go so far he just kind of. registers them. wild horse is named Clover and the following horse is named Jerry

personality wise Saffron is a bit what youd expect (stubborn and EXTREMELY UNHAPPY to be ridden as a horse.) he warms up eventually but sometimes he still just veers off the road/turns around at max bond just to be petty/prank them. that one horse post about horses adjusting to the people riding them and making their Own decisions when driving (biting off saddles i think? something about weight…), saff would do something like that. otherwise though number 1 rated grass eater and plant stomper, would be a pain for the stable owners and will pick fights with dogs. while he accepts being a transportation animal eventually he Will Not move cargo. that is his one rule, you will Not put on a wagon attached to his saddle he will make so many horse noises about it. Dinners is less stubborn and more blood thirsty. she Will run over herons without input from link. running over bokoblins is her favorite past time. however she also is a huge horse fan in general, especially with the little horses she can be found with. she doesnt really pick fights but she does bite sometimes. not out of malice but curiosity. or sometimes just because she can. get bit nerd. she actually likes having cargo it becomes a challenge to go as fast as possible without dropping it (which leads to stress inducing situations sometimes). otherwise she just chills mostly. would probably sleep in a weird position. she would run over donkeys if she could. Bug is just friendly. a chronic wander, but friendly! because she wanders if link isnt really telling them to go anywhere they just move on their own like minecraft horses. and because of this link cant leave them anywhere because theyll be on a completely different part of the map then where he left them. huge fan of flowers for food and also apples. to be fair all horses are but she gets the most apples out of all of links horses (favoritism). would probably eat a bee hive/wasp nest (fun fact!! beehives in botw are actually really similar to wasp nests rather than actual beehives!!). theyre indifferent to cargo. Clover is Fast. a bit less spurs but they are So Fast. constantly picking things up no matter what they are/the cons of quences. they are The cargo horse. like the name implies they like to eat clovers, and they also have like. grass in their mouth constantly like a cowperson. they would absolutely herd animals. big fan of ruins honestly they just smell weird. every time theres a split in the road they always go the opposite direction of what link needs and he has to steer them the other way around. would crash into trees quite a bit. also energetic constantly they Need to be doing something always. also yes this horse is a reference to clover undertale yellow. and finally Jerry. just a horse, no thoughts head empty. completely chill. stands there as link gets mauled by a moblin

pre calamity zeldas horse was named Selig (and named for her rather than by her considering the compendium entry states that the royal family rode them to display their “divine right”, so its less likely itd be named for fun and more named to be Official and OoOo Goddess Powers, so i like to think a priest named them), but in secret she named them Lilium Woodriff Orientalis (the scientific name for stargazer lillies, Woodriff being the last name of the person who bred them. this is a reference to silent princesses and Blue Heart Lillies- blue heart lillies often being cited as a real world counterpart to silent princesses, however those lillies actually dont exist. theyre always a scam and are actually photoshop recolored stargazer lilly. in universe explanation is that its just a scientific flower name she liked a lot and she wanted to seem cool for knowing it. post calamity she’d call them stargazer even though the horse is long gone. maybe she’d name another horse that in memory?) and uses their full name always instead of a nickname. and because of this she eventually forgets selig as a name and everyone either thinks its a new horse or is cool with it. the priest is kind of exasperated but cant do anything about it. links pre calamity horse is named Epona because im a sucker for that sort of stuff, however is not The Epona (like from the amiibo or oot or tp etc). its more of a name he liked a lot especially because of the epona legends (and also in the memories his horse has a different mane/coat color from epona herself so. yeag). he too wanted to be seen as cool. he’d use her like how merchants use donkeys . light storage system

also fun fact!! the stable has a corporation of sorts!! 50 years before the calamity the Epona Co. was established (creating a champion page with stable info), and it has a logo and everything. said logo is on the hats of stable workers and also on the blankets covering crates. the stable association is under that corporation but seemingly a different thing, and also on the sanidin park ruins you can actually see the logo on the base of the statue, so they had a part in that as well!! i dunno i just think its so neat and im so sad we dont know anything about the park ruins besides being a spot to view the castle. i like to think its a memorial to a horse (whether it be someones pet horse, or a horse who did something historical (like laika or balto, though laika and balto are dogs not horses), and also im not making this an epona statue i. it feels weird to clarify that however with all the epona talk . yeah. also off topic but epona and ganons horse being plushes in majoras mask is so cool and i really want ganondorfs horse to have a name now. like why dont they have one…). alsoalso you probably know this but the top of stables (horse heads) have malanyas face, implying its an effigy of sorts. alsoalsoalso theres an unused compendium photo for epona.

theres also more horse variants (knight horses and festival horses) but. another time.

#HELLO!!#wreath of the bild #sorry if this seems. off? the hauntings have been going on you see #anyways honestly thanks for this i. needed a name for links horse #i couldnt keep calling them [horse] when writing to edit later

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