#THIS IS SERIOUSLY SO IDIOTIC LOL

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[viiinz]

everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)

#idk why of all characters he's the one that has left such an impression on me but oh boy #it's been over a year since I've read his 'explanation' and everything that followed and it hasn't left my mind since #ippolit terentyev #the idiot #god all he wanted was some sympathy and recognition #and they just make fun of him #literally all this boy wants is to be taken seriously and no one does #they either laugh at him or beg him to shut up #because his vulnerability and the fact that he's dying makes them so uncomfortable #and he's so ashamed as well over his own vulnerbility #that even when people aren't laughing at him he'll imagine they are #and people blame him for being self absorbed?? like of course he is!! #he's EIGHTEEN and DYING #this is a teenager who's just come to the realisation that he has no agency over his life whatsoever #and that all that awaits him are the cruel laws of nature #he has a right to be upset about that #he's literally the man condemned to death that myshkin talked about #and yes he's ridiculous and awkward and not always right and incoherent and all that #and he can really be insufferable and contemptuous and unfeeling towards others #and even the state he's in doesn't really serve as an excuse for that #yet i feel bad for him #and he's such a teenager too he's so insecure and just wants to impress the people around him #and yes he's doing it for attention #of course he wants attention #can you blame him?? #all he wants is to be heard #to feel like his life mattered #but instead everyone's just begging him to shut up #like they're just waiting for him to kick the bucket so the uncomfortable ordeal can be over with #sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about Ippolit and I'm being very incoherent because i didn't plan on typing all this lol

[zika-the-certified-idiot]

'' I despise you with every ounce of my being. ''

- Grabsy (Probably)

'' D'awwwh, I love you too! ''

- Dupe (Most Certainly)

#theyre idiots your honor #digital artist #artists on tumblr #original character #silly guy #lethal company #lethal company bracken #lethal company masked #oc art #they're so precious #how is this masked even alive #seriously he forgot how to mask lol

[theflyingfeeling]

...💌

#not-very-seriously contemplating making a fitalk sideblog #just so i could ramble on about my fic ideas like the lunatic i am without bothering anyone #because istg i come up with at least 3 new ideas a day and more if necessary #but i'm too self-conscious to do that on my main blog too often because i always manage to convince myself no one actually cares #and that the only few people who do seem to care only care because they want to be supportive #and/or think it's cute i'm so passionate about the fics/pairing or whatever #and there's nothing wrong with that and i'm thankful of course! #but it sort of makes me feel like a child being praised by adults ya know? 😭 #and idk maybe i just feel like this because i used to share a hyperfixation OTP with a friend #and i'd come up with new fic ideas/headcanons for our OTP on a daily basis #until the friend admitted they weren't even that into the pairing #they just found it adorable to see how enthusiastic i was thinking of stories of them :) #which made me feel like such an idiot lol silly me thought they were as into it as i was #like. i get the need to infodump about hyperfixations to a friend even if the friend is not into the hyperfixation #especially if you don't know anyone else to whom you could talk about it #but i don't need that personally. i'd rather talk about my hyperfixations to someone who actually wants to hear it #and not just because they think i'm being adorable or they want to support me #i can very well keep it all to myself or just idk talk to myself?? lol #so yeahhhh i kinda don't want to make myself feel like a clown like that again 🤡 #i do realise i think about fic ideas an unhealthy amount probably lol #but then again isn't that what actual published authors do all the flipping time?! the only difference is that i'm not getting paid for it😤 #this wasn't supposed to become a rant lol the words just started flooding #anywayyyyy who wants to hear about my royalty!aleksi / ballet dancer!olli fic idea with side roommates-with-benefits olli/joonas? #additional tags include 'helping the other put on make-up' and 'anal fingering'. if you even care #(pls don't actually ask it's ridiculous)

[anotherpapercut]

I'm no longer responding to people just straight up lying in the tags of my library post but oh my god I want to strangle some people holy shit

#someone fr just said their library is run by neo Nazis and theyre pretty sure if they requested a queer book theyd be banned for life lmfao #just want to say how wild it is to me that yall are so leftist anarchist punk but ur too scared to request a book from the fucking library #like seriously lmao. no fucking wonder people get so mad when you suggest they should take more action than voting #yall literally cant be bothered to try submitting a fucking online form lmao #god i hate online leftists loll. people used to bomb national guard outposts and yall are scawed of library board members #also the idea that ull get banned for literally requesting a book is idiotic lol. y'all wanna be so specially oppressed. get over yourself

[djsherriff-responses]

Hazbin Hotel is like if steven universe also tries to be like south park and family guy which is funny because Viv once stated that she didn’t like Steven Universe before lol

Weirdly enough I actually remembered this one KH comic called served which I find a lot more funny than Hazbin Hotel. I am going to make clear that this comic dub does have rape and abuse jokes (along with general fandom attitudes from the late 2000s/early 2010s) so please keep that in mind before watching the video , but unlike from what I’ve heard of Hazbin Hotel it never tries taking itself seriously and remains edgy and comedic throughout, so there’s never an awkward moment of going from a very serious conversation of how a character is suffering to jumping go how funny another character’s abuse is

I’d even argue the lack of seriousness in this comic unintentionally makes for a decent comedy satire of how real abuse cases are viewed and treated , though thats just how fandoms were back in the time of the video’s upload

I know it’s probably weird to recommend an ooc KH fan comic dub from over a decade ago to compare to a modern streaming cartoon but I still watch this a few times a year just because it’s really funny and well performed

Idk this is just nostalgia or just aged ok though

#asks #ask me #hazbin hotel critical #Tw rape #tw abuse #Tw rape jokes #I think what makes served so funny is how actually ridiculous everyone behaves more than the fact it’s edgy #Like everyone here is an extreme idiotic ooc version of their canon selves #The fact they don’t take the court case seriously just adds to that ridiculousness and stupidity rather than come across as just “lol rape” #Compared to hazbin where characters just say fuck randomly

[echoes-of-realities]

Hey!! I saw your new fic on an NCIS: Hawai'i blog and I was like "e.e i know that url.. but from where??" and didn't think too much about it. Then I kept scrolling on my feed and saw Your post about the fic and went "!!it's them!!" I'm so happy you're writing a fic for my current ship! (FYI i have fangirled about your fics for brittana before) I'm sure it's gonna be epic, as always! I shall be reading soon! 😊😊

Omg thank you!!! Still wild to me that people know my url and recognize me as a fic writer lol. In my head, I'm still an early 2010s tumblr user with 7 followers who I all knew irl and not someone with a moderately successful blog, so it's always a shock that people are happy to see my url lol.

But I hope you enjoy (or enjoyed, depending lol) the fic!! I had a lot of fun with it an am excited to share my writing again somewhere that's not just me asking my friends and family to beta read my manuscript again!

#ask #anon #seriously this ask made me grin like an idiot so thank you for that #been a busy few weeks so I needed it lol!

[excelsior9173]

gotta love canadian weather

last week it was maybe -4°C, no snow, lots of sun! strangely warm and gentle winter

this week? -20°C to -35°C and we’ve already gotten a couple inches of snow, with 4-6 more on the way.

it’s so fuckin cold my face burns when i step outside. i love it!

#ramble on exie #canadian stuff #weather #i seriously missed the snow so bad #i don’t love driving in it- everyone here turns into an idiot as soon as the weather turns #but i missed the quiet of a good snowfall. the crunch of it under my boots #could do without the windchills though lol #i hate wind

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted #and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i #think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god. #and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind #and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind #splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt #and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d #some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard #as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not #and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and #more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this #and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make #things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill #laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop #with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out #itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄 #unrelated

[stonerzelda]

I love my job but i rally will never understand the phenomenon of when some coworkers/people that work in different departments alongside u like. Decide they dont like u lol. Like i get along with nearly everybody so so so well but there are these 2 ladies that have been so needlessly cold/rude to me and for what. Why would you create a hostile work environment on purpose like does that not just make your own life harder lmao

#theyre nurses too like....idfk what it is theyre treating me like an idiot that doesnt take covid seriously??? #i am literally the only person i know that still masks up in public + wven wears gloves if im going to a place that has high touch areas #yet ive been reprimanded twice for wearing gloves in an elevator (i didnt argue bc it was a fair assumption that i was working w cleaning #chemicals even tho i was actually wearing a fresh pair cuz i didnt wanna get my bleeding fingers to stain the sheets of the beds i make #which was pointless to argue w cuz i DIDNT WANNA BE RUDE LOL) #and then again on friday for wearing a cloth mask which Again was fair bc i shouldve been wearing a paper one #but ive been double masking with the paper + cloth now and this bitch is literally ignoring me when i greet her or wish her a good day #like she Rolled Her Eyes at me when i greeted her today WTF?? i still dont even know her name lol #she didnt even introduced herself or say hello or welcome like. she and this other nurse have just decided i suck infinity #i straight up Do Naught Understand like wtf do u gain from being an asshole. i didnt argue i thanked them both for their reminders like. #ok guess ill go fuck myself dam!!!! #ennyways a little worried now cuz i kinda got annoyed when she did that to me today i was just like 'ALRIGHT😐' and kept walking myself lol #whatever rant over sorry its just on my mind cuz its just so unnecessary #theyd know i take this shit seriously if they spent more than 15 seconds acknowledging my existence :/

[monorayjak]

So I think I may have Dysgraphia.... which would explain my awful writing no matter how much I try to do it better. Also potentially explains why my hands are so shaky when doing tasks focused on my hands being steady, like taking photos. Plus its often comorbid with ADHD and... yeah

#adhd #actually adhd #dysgraphia #learning disability #it explains a lot #and also makes me feel less like an idiot for having such bad handwriting #so... yeah #fun #so thats dysphoria #depression #and dysgraphia #triple d #interesting #lol #seriously though #learning disorder #fine motor skills #bad handwriting

[cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu]

I don't know why, but if I burrp after eating my brain just tells me "You've got space now, you can fit those extra cheeseburgers" like no bish, you can't lol

#seriously #my brain a stupid hoe #and my stomach knows she can't handle more food #but she an idiot too #so I end up overeating and moaning in despair #so much regret #and yet I'll do it again omfg lol