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eggman-is-fat-mkay · 7 months

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Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

firstly i think i am very sexy. i've been going to the gym a lot lately and it's paying off! my personal trainer says i need to eat more, and he's right, but i'm still making very respectable gains. i've been holding a plank (hands on floor, not elbows) for a little bit longer every night, just before i go to bed, for a few months now, and last night i set a new personal record of 25 minutes! i was cheating a little bit, shifting side to side and lifting one hand up to give my abs a break, and my form was more than a little sloppy, but still! 25 minutes straight!!!! (the secret is music, and wear loose clothing -- you overheat *super* fast) i've definitely got the six pack to show for it too. and as a certified gay dude and muscle enjoyer i gotta say it is a huge confidence boost to be low-key attracted to the guy i see in the mirror

second i'd say i am a pretty smart guy. most programmers are. i *love* being able to think of something, go "hey, i kinda wish that existed", and then just build it. and then... holy crap, that exists now. and i made it happen. and that's just such a cool feeling that i think everybody should get to experience.

if i don't tell anybody about my current project i'm gonna burst so here we go. i've been browsing a certain monosodium glutatmate related site lately that lets you upload images, put tags on them, and then search for them by their tags, and i've been somewhat disappointed with it. like most boorus, its search feature is quite limited -- you can specify the results have all of these tags, none of these tags, and one or more of these tags, but that's it. if you want to search for one of these two but not both, or one or more of these AND one or more of those, you're outta luck. i thought that was kinda disappointing. fortunately, i'm a programmer, and, as it turns out, this particular imageboard provides a full database dump containing the URL, rating, description, full list of tags, upvote/downvote/favorite count, image URL, etc., of every post on the site, all in one gigantic 3GB .csv file. practically begging me to make a better search function with it. it didn't take me long to whip up a script in rust that could parse that .csv file and, given a search string like "fluffy 1{ cat dog } 2-{ a b c }" (meaning "must be tagged fluffy, either cat OR dog but not both, and two or more of a, b, and c"), spit out a list of URLs of posts that matched. running the script on my laptop, it took about 12 seconds to search through the whole database, 30 if running on my phone. i also thought that was kinda disappointing and i could do better. so i started looking into ways to speed it up. i loaded the entire post database into RAM for faster access (my phone's 6GB of RAM was not thrilled about this, but it pulled through), i used the excellent rust library Rayon to search in parallel across all available CPU cores, i downloaded a second database dump from the site matching each tag name with its internal tag number (storing those instead of the names greatly reduced my RAM usage, not to mention integers are several times faster to search through than text strings), and i wrote a modified version of the search algorithm that took advantage of SIMD instructions to compare four integers at once on a single CPU core. all together, those improvements got my time for a single search down from 30 seconds to 1 second on my phone, and from 12 seconds to 50 milliseconds (that's a 20th of a second!) on my laptop. that's over a 200x improvement! isn't programming cool!!!! also the drag-race linear search algorithm i came up with for searching through the tags faster than a binary search was no doubt come up with long ago by someone much smarter than me, but i don't care i'm still proud of myself for having come up with it. i'm currently working on hooking that search algorithm up to a discord bot and in the process learning the intricacies of using postgresql to keep track of who's looking at what and what they want to see next. i'm learning a ton and it's super fun!

i'm no super-genius, don't get me wrong -- especially that SIMD part was mostly me throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck -- but i definitely felt pretty cool after seeing the 10% performance improvement it got me :P

thirdly i can semi reliably get people to laugh. since i'm autistic this does not come naturally to me, but through many years of practice and a lotta misses i've figured out a system, there's three parts.

When someone asks a rhetorical question, answer it incorrectly. example

when someone else makes a joke, your job is to "yes, and". ex.: "eggman always likes sitting in the sun. like he's cold blooded. i bet he's a lizard." "it's true. zuckerberg's actually my cousin"

commit to the bit. pretend what you just said is true. what would that imply? zuckerberg's my cousin; i probably hang out with him a lot. is he normal for a lizard, and the rest of us are that good at pretending to be human, or is he weird even by our standards? what's lizardfolk physiology like? zuckerberg was acting really strangely in the 2018 facebook senate hearings -- he nearly blew our cover. hey, that's a joke right there. just keep these ideas going in your head and string them together with whatever you can think of. ex.: "zuckerberg's actually my cousin. he's a lot less awkward once the meat suit comes off. i don't know why he gets so nervous in front of humans. guess he's just camera shy. during the facebook senate hearings he was such a mess we had to spoon feed him lines through a transmitter in his fourth ear. i don't know how people didn't notice. swear that guy is gonna out us one day. don't know why they haven't given his meat suit to someone else yet. anyway i talked with him about the whole social media panopticon thing but he was kinda stubborn on that point." alternately: "is zuckerberg your cousin?" "no actually common misconception he's just about the only celebrity who isn't. the overlords keep trying to kill that rumor cause he's making us look bad. there was talk of installing a lizard as the head of facebook so we'd have control over social media but the higher-ups wouldn't sign off on it"

(i lied there's 4 parts) learn how to volley. "if zuck's your cousin, why don't you have a facebook account?" "zuck knows enough about me just being my cousin; i don't need him being able to look up all my browsing history and bring it up at family reunions." from here, if reaction is positive, you can run with the bit: "and you know he'd do it in the most well-meaning way too; he'd see me and immediately ask if i found those dildos i was searching for two weeks ago, and if not offer to help. bro has zero social awareness"

for skills i practiced in reddit comment sections, they translated to real life surprisingly well. of course, like anything, this takes practice. coming up with stuff like that on the fly did not come naturally to me at first, and unfortunately i can't really say for certain when or why that changed. i guess my advice would be hang around with people you think are good at making jokes, watch them, and try to figure out why what works, works, and when you think you've got something, try your hand with some friends. or you could take the autistic route of just saying something that wasn't intended to be funny, having people laugh, and laughing along with them while silently puzzling over why that was funny and how you can make a funny on purpose next time. something that's important to remember though is that if you can't think of anything, that's okay. jokes often make conversations more fun, but a lack of jokes does not often make them worse.

smart, handsome, and funny is a pretty good set, i gotta say. i'm not perfect -- no one is -- and i'm definitely not sure how many other people would agree with any of those three assessments of myself (my parents tell me i'm smart, but don't everyone's?), but i'm pretty happy with where i'm at life wise and the rate i'm progressing. you asked for five things i liked about myself; i'm a bit busy at the moment so i'll have to give you a rain check for the other two. but i will definitely be forwarding this ask to everyone i can think of who hasn't blocked me!

#be kind to yourself #positivity #most people have done something that's brag worthy #what's yours?#idc how tiny it is i wanna hear it #if you're reading this light my ask box up #whatever you're proud of yourself for

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substituted-shinigami · 7 months

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We… We have a lotta fun here xD

Channel Update!!!

Hello Everyone!!! Despite the, uh…rather silly presentation, I really have been working super hard on some fanworks in the background, and now I’m proud to finally present to you the “We Can’t All Be Winners” Fall Season Schedule! Plus I've got some previews for you to boot!!!

Let’s take a look!

"We Can’t All Be Winners" Fall Season Schedule plus FAQ and Previews!!!

(this post is already kinda long, (and is about to get a lot longer) so I put the rest underneath a tag xD)

October

Oct. 7th - Tiger Robe (fanfiction, renruki & Ichigo, hurt/comfort)

Oct. 14th - Three Times I Dreamed of You (fanfiction, renruki, some angsty longing but also fluff)

Oct. 21st - Who is Ichigo? (Karakura Gang Comic!)

Oct. 28th - Night Scare, Morning Care (fanfiction, renruki, hurt/comfort)

November

Nov. 4th - Double Feature! Bleach Book Club - Letters From The Other Side (light novel overview) + Roommates Assemble (Rukia & Ichigo + Karakura Gang drabble + fanart)

Nov. 11th - Bubble Tea (fanfiction, renruki + Yoruichi, slice of life, fluff)

Nov. 18th - Peaceful Day, Peaceful Night (fanfiction, renruki, fluff)

Nov. 25th - Commercial Break - Pocket Renji (Comic/fake ad)

December

Dec. 2nd - Bloodlines - Learning to Breathe (L2B) Prologue & Ch. 1 (multi-chapter fic, renruki, hurt/comfort, some angst, some humor)

Dec. 9th - L2B Ch. 2

Dec. 16th - L2B Ch. 3

Dec. 23 - L2B Ch. 4

Dec. 30 - L2B Ch. 5 & Epilogue

And that’s it! Yeah, Ichigo wasn’t kidding, it really is mostly just RenRuki fanfiction, haha!😅 Now I'm sure you all have some questions like: Wait…What is this?! Why is this?! How is this?! When is this?! And Where is this?! And I'll do my best to answer them in the FAQ below!

FAQ

Wait…What is this?!?

“We Can’t All Be Winners” or “WCABW” started out as an anthology series of RenRuki one-shots I started back in January. It contains a handful of stories featuring Renji, Rukia and occasionally others, and puts them in different scenarios, some of them canon-compliant and some of them in alternate universes. Originally, I planned to write and post one story a month, but I quickly fell behind. So I took a break and reassessed and decided to try posting in “seasons” instead. So now it’s a season of weekly uploaded fanworks to be posted from October to December, and will feature a variety of Bleach related content such as fanfiction, fanart, fan comics, bleach light novel overview, and, when I’m able to write one, a multi-chapter fic. All the fanfiction will be available on both Tumblr and AO3, but the rest will only be available on Tumblr (sorry!). Once this season is completed, I will mark the AO3 work as “completed”, and if I can do this again next year, I will start a new one!

Why is this?

Like most people, I originally planned to create and post fanworks whenever I finished them. However, I eventually found keeping up with a social media account stressful. Something about it makes you feel like you need to post all the time, even when no one else is pushing you. So I thought, hey, why not have a season! That way I have a predetermined end goal AND I don't feel like I gotta post outside of it! Plus if I feel like I need to just step away for a break (which I will most likely be doing once the queue starts running), it won't affect it since everything is already queued! So yeah, that's the idea behind it.

How do you plan to post this on AO3? It doesn’t have a queue system!

Yeah, that is a problem. My current plan is to have a tab open for each story/chapter I need to post, and then will just press the button to post it on the day it’s due to come out (or within 24 hrs). This will probably mean that the Tumblr post will link back to the table of contents of WCABW on AO3 rather than the chapter itself, so I would like to apologize for that in advance. I’ll try to fix it whenever I am able, or at the latest, when I become socially active on Tumblr again.

When is this?

Every Saturday from October 7 to December 30th at 11 am EST here on Tumblr, and within 24 hrs (either before or after) on AO3 (I'll try to make it before, but life happens sometimes). Now obviously this is no real substitute for the Bleach anime, not even close! But Saturdays were already a convenient day to post, so I thought, "Hey, why not?!" And just pushed the joke all the way!!!

Where is this?

Right here on Tumblr and on AO3 (links provided). On AO3, the one-shots will be posted under the We Can’t All Be Winners anthology series of one-shots that's already on there (if you haven't seen it yet, why not check it out? It already has some of my other one-shots on there!) The multi-chapter fic will have its own posting.

I have some questions/comments/concerns!

No problem! My ask box is always open! Now to be honest, I will be on break starting in early October, but I'll answer any I don’t see before then when I am able/get back! Also, if you are a part of the RenRuki discord, I may be checking in there from time to time even while on break.

And that’s it! Thank you all so much for reading this needlessly long and very silly announcement for Bleach fanworks of all things! To thank you for making it to the end, I added some previews for some of the upcoming works!! I hope you all enjoy!!! xD

PREVIEWS!!!

(Note: works are subject to minor changes)

Three Times I Dreamed of You

Chapter Summary: Nightmares are always terrible. But they are made even worse when you aren’t even able to talk to the person that they are about. (RenRuki, some angsty longing but also fluff)

"Rukia!"

Renji awoke with a start, sweat dripping down his brow. He whipped his head around wildly, as he mopped off his forehead with his sleeve. He was alone, utterly alone. Quickly he reached out with his spiritual pressure to feel hers, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. Finally, he found her, a tiny cold gust on a frigid winter night. It felt so impossibly far away, but… it was enough. Renji left the Eleventh Division barrack's dorm and climbed on top of the roof to feel it better.

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Tiger Robe

Chapter Summary: While shopping with Ichigo in the World of the Living, Rukia finds a tiger print robe that reminds her of someone from her past. (renruki & Ichigo, hurt/comfort, Starts out in the Soul Society Arc, but then jumps around a couple of times)

“Okay, we're here,” Kurosaki Ichigo began as they entered the clothing store, “The women’s section is in the back. If you need clothes, I don’t mind buying you a set or two, so can you just please stop stealing Yuzu’s?!? She’s starting to get suspicious…” But Rukia wasn't listening to him. Instead, she was looking around the store, completely enthralled.

“Woah! This is incredible!” Rukia replied with wonder, as her wide eyes flitted from one brightly colored clothing display to the next, “And you can afford such garments on your allowance alone?” Ichigo raised an eyebrow at her in response.

“Yeah…? It’s just a cheap department store, Rukia.”

“Incredible…” she muttered to herself again as she continued to look around the huge, lively store with a mixture of awe and nervousness. Several people passed them by, chatting as they filed in or out of the entrance, and loud music played on the speakers overhead.

This is nothing like the open markets that sold only rags in Inuzuri, she thought, And once I got adopted by the Kuchiki Clan, the tailors came to me. I don’t think I’ve been to anything even resembling a regular clothing store since the Academy. There is too much choice! What should I…?

Rukia could feel Ichigo’s concerned eyes on the back of her neck. Quickly, she stood up straighter, and turned towards him.

“You said, I could get whatever I wanted, right?!” she asked with a devilish grin. Ichigo sighed heavily as if he was immediately regretting both this decision and his entire existence. He scratched the back of his head.

“Within reason! I’m not rich, you know," he scowled, "You can get one everyday outfit and one sleepwear, that’s it!” With that, he set off across the store.

“Ah! You're so stingy, Ichigo!” Rukia teased as she followed after him.

“Keep talking smack, and I’ll make you shop in the children’s section!”

“I might anyway,” Rukia mused, as they passed by a pair of child’s pajamas with bunnies on them, “children’s clothes have nicer prints.”

“Whatever,” Ichigo replied, “Wear what you want when you sleep, but when you are out and about, try to wear typical 'teen clothes'. Otherwise people might get the wrong idea when we are walking together.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rukia dismissed with a wave of her hand. As they continued walking along on their way to the back of the store, passing from the children's section into the men's, Rukia’s eyes were caught by a brightly colored robe. Turning towards it, she felt taken aback when she beheld the largest, tackiest tiger print bathrobe she had ever seen. Suddenly, she felt like she was thrown back over forty years…

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Bubble Tea

Chapter Summary: Relaxing is difficult when you are so used to fighting. Now that the Winter War is over, Rukia and Renji shoot the breeze and talk about the future. (renruki + Yoruichi, slice of life, fluff, During the Fullbringer Arc timeskip)

“Hmmm… Getting to know you without the fangs of death constantly nipping at our heels feels…weird,” Rukia commented suddenly, and a little too casually, one day as she sipped her bubble tea. Renji coughed in surprise. That or he got another tapioca pearl stuck in his throat, Rukia wasn't too sure.

“H-Huh?!" he spluttered, after he had finally begun to recover.

"Well, think about it," Rukia continued, as she settled her cup down beside her upon the park bench. She began to list things off on her fingers, “First it was surviving in Rukongai, then Aizen's betrayal, and then the Winter War. Whenever we were together it felt like our lives were in constant mortal danger. That it was us against the world. But now…now there’s no real threat.”

"Oh yeah…" Renji agreed, looking up to the sky in thought, "I guess, you're right…huh."

“Yeah," Rukia went on as she picked up her cup again, "The only other time it was seemingly this peaceful was when we were separated."

At that, Renji was silent for a moment, before asking quietly, "Kind of makes you wonder whether or not we're cursed, huh?" Rukia turned to look up at him, but Renji continued to stare up at the sky.

"If we are cursed," she began slowly, "then whoever made it, absolutely sucks at making curses," Renji quirked an eyebrow at her as she turned back towards her tea, "Curses are meant to make you the most miserable, but despite the dangers, I'm always more miserable when we're apart." Renji stared at her wide-eyed as she went back to sipping her tea.

******************************************

Learning to Breathe

Story Summary: Turns out purple eyes and short stature aren’t the only things that run in Hisana’s family, illness does as well. As Rukia and Renji try to help each other navigate through this new storm in their lives, will they remember to take time to breathe? (multi-chapter fic, renruki, hurt/comfort, some angst, some humor, Post TYBW, Rukia gets the same disease that killed Hisana. (Bloodlines AU))

Here’s a scene from chapter 1:

I faced an execution. I faced an espada's blade. I even faced a man who could literally murder me with fear. And yet, tiny medical needles are too much for me? You are utterly ridiculous, Kuchiki Rukia… Rukia thought glumly to herself, as she laid in bed one chilly morning before yet another doctor’s appointment. She began chuckling wryly, I've heard the pen is mightier than the sword, but I think the medical needle might be mightier still.

Rukia stared up at her bedroom ceiling, the sound of the room's clock ticking loudly in her ears. She'd been laying there for hours as sleep frustratingly eluded her. Sighing, she tried rolling over and closing her eyes again, but she couldn't shut out the anxious thoughts that plagued her mind.

I really hope today’s tests don’t have them. If I can’t get through these appointments without stressing out everytime I see one, then I’ll never convince him that he can rest, because I’ll be okay. That it will all be okay in the end. Hopefully…

Suddenly, Rukia’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the alarm on her soul pager going off. Again. Rukia’s hand shot out, flipped the infernal device open, and managed to press the snooze button for the third time that morning without even looking at it. She went back to staring up at the ceiling.

Guess I better get up now, huh? Can't keep putting it off, after all… My friends, my brother, and…Renji… they’re all so worried about me, so I can’t… I can’t be weak… I must be strong for them.

Rukia sighed, her stomach already all up in knots. Taking a deep breath to center herself, she forced herself to sit up. As she looked out her bedroom window towards the sky, she saw that it was pitch-black, that even the stars were blocked out by clouds.

Hmmm… Looks like a storm is rolling in too… Figures…

Rukia slowly pushed off her blankets and got up to search for her clothes. She thought about just wearing her black shinigami uniform, but she already knew neither her third seat nor her escort were going to let her go back to work this afternoon. Speaking of her escort…

Rukia left her room, a neatly folded dark blue kimono tucked underneath her arm, and approached the door of the guest room next to hers. She lifted her hand to knock, but paused.

I could just leave without waking him… she thought briefly, Let him sleep in. Gods know he needs it. That way, when I make it through the appointment on my own, he’ll see he has nothing to worry about! But she quickly shook herself. No! No, I don’t do that anymore! I don’t just run away... I talk about it. We talk about it. And even if we can’t figure it out, we still do even that together. Rukia took a deep breath, glared resolutely at the door, and knocked.

“Oi, Renji, you awake in there?” She heard what sounded like a groan to the affirmative. “Okay, just so you know, we’ve got to leave in an hour.”

“Mhmm… Yup. I got you,” he responded groggily. This was soon followed by the sound of very fast shuffling, a very loud bang, an almost as loud curse, and then more shuffling. Rukia raised an amused eyebrow at that.

“You good in there? All your limbs still present and accounted for?”

“Ha ha. Very funny. And yes, I’m fine. Thanks so much for your concern.”

“Of course!” Rukia smirked. However, the heavy feeling inside her soon dragged the corners of her lips back down. She took another deep breath. Here we go… "Oi, Renji…" she began quietly, "If you are too tired, it's okay, y'know? It's like I said before, it’s basically just a long doctor's appointment. I'll…I’ll be okay going by myself."

At that, Rukia heard the stomping sound of footsteps coming rapidly towards her, followed by the shoji door immediately sliding open with a sharp bang. Renji looked rather frazzled, with his sleeping robe half hanging off of his shoulder and his hair loosely pulled into a messy braid. He also looked rather cute…at least until he started shouting.

“WHAT? NO! OF COURSE I'M COMING WITH YOU, IDIOT!”

“QUIET, RENJI! ARE YOU TRYING TO WAKE UP THE ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD WITH YOUR RACKET?!?”

"You are way louder than me!" Renji replied in his terrible attempt at a whisper, "In any case, don't try to change the subject like that. You are downplaying it again, I know it. They are running medical tests today too, and I know those tend to make you nervous.” He managed to actually say that last part quietly. Then he smiled at her, “We're in this together, ya?" His lips might have been smiling, but Rukia saw his eyes. He was exhausted. She felt her heart lurch into her throat.

"Ya, well…don't go overdoing it, okay?" Rukia told him firmly as she fixed his robe for him, but her fingers lingered on his shoulder. Renji placed his hand over hers.

"Hmph… As if I could ever do too much for you… I'm fine, Rukia, really. Go get changed."

"Okay…" she murmured quietly, looking down. However, her face must have betrayed her troubled thoughts, because when she tried to remove her hand from his shoulder, Renji held it firm. She looked back up at him and he tilted his head down closer to hers.

"I love you~" he whispered to her in a cheeky sing-song voice with that toothy grin of his. He was clearly trying to lighten the mood, to make her smile or push him off and call him a dork, but instead Rukia felt her heart, already firmly lodged in her throat, leap even higher into her mouth.

“I know…” she barely got out, “I know Renji, but…”

“Uh uh. No ‘buts’, Ru. Go ahead and take your bath. I’ll see you in an hour, alright?” He winked and let go of her hand as he cheerfully went back into the guest room, closing the door behind him.

Rukia, on the other hand, just stood there, staring at the floor.

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And that's it for the previews! If you somehow made it all the way to the end, thanks so much for reading! The "We Can't All Be Winners" Fall Season starts next week! Hope to see you there!

#renruki #renruki fanworks incoming!!!#and some other characters too sometimes xD #hold on tight y'all #you're about to go on a bumpy and very fanfic-y ride!#Sorry to subject you all to this #but I gotta post my madness somewhere!!!

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the-hoarse-bard · 3 years

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Yes Man was very forthcoming with the plan to take over Vegas. We'd need to get the chip to him, upload his AI onto it, and then knock off House somehow and use the chip to replace him with Yes Man. As we stepped out of the Tops, though, we were stopped by a man with an oddly large hat. "The eyes of the mighty Caesar are upon you. He admires your accomplishments and bestows upon you his Mark. Come to the fort. We have something you'd want." He handed me some kind of medallion on a necklace.

At a second glance, I recognized the man. The cold eyes and voice trying way too hard to come off as calculated. It was Vulpes, the same legionary I'd encountered at Nipton. Luckily for all involved, he ran off before we could kick his ass. I also realized he probably meant they'd captured Benny. Boone turned to me, "You'd better go alone. Don't know if I could stop myself from opening fire on that many legionnaires." I told him to wait at the Lucky 38 in that case. It'd be just ED-E and me, it seems, and we hit the road.

The Fort was across the Colorado river, and only accessible via Cottonwood Cove south of Novac. Soon enough, we found ourselves back at the 188 without much worth mentioning. It was sunset by the time we got there, and I'd ordered a gecko steak for dinner from the bar. Then, I took notice of a strangely dressed woman standing around one of the tables and decided to strike up a conversation. I do love ED-E, but he's not much fun to talk to.

The strange girl spoke first as I approached, "No offense, but you look like you've travelled a long way down some bad roads. Where'd you come from?" I told her I'd come from Goodsprings, which was, well, half true. She seemed surprised, "Really? Huh, you have come a long way, then. Never been there myself, but I've met a few traders who've passed through. Well, welcome then. I'm Veronica, I live in a hole in the ground." I gave her a look, and she clarified, "Well, a bunker. I like it my way better." I told her that explained why I hadn't seen her last time I'd come through the 188. As we were talking, my steak arrived.

I asked what she was doing out here instead of in her bunker as I cut my steak, "Well, I'm not there much anymore. Usually out here, picking up supplies. I think my family prefers it that way these days. Someone's gotta pick up the groceries, you know?" I nodded as I was still struggling with the tough reptile meat.

Veronica was quiet for a moment, then asked, "So, hey. Can I ask you something on the level?" I looked up at her as I finally finished cutting through the gecko steak, "I had a run=in with a group calling themselves the Brotherhood of Steel. Pretty strange bunch. You know anything about them?" I chewed on my steak as I thought, and responded that I did. They had a reputation behind them of violence, but if you didn't have any dangerous tech, they'd probably leave you alone. She looked relieved, "Oh, good. I can't afford anything like that anyway. Say, where are you headed anyway?" I told her I was on my way to meet an.... Old friend. She responded, "Must be a pretty interesting relationship to bring you all the way out here." I nodded, not wanting to get into the whole Benny story.

I finished up my dinner in short order, when Veronica spoke again, "I'll be honest. You're the first person I've met out here who looks like they can handle themselves. I'll be honest, there are places I want to see that'd be dangerous to go alone. What do you think? Maybe we could travel together." I thought about it and sighed, asking what she was hoping to see, "Nowhere in particular really, just hoping to see more of the world. Get a fresh perspective, see if there's anything I could learn from." Seemed reasonable enough, and I asked what she could bring to the table, mentioning she didn't look like much, "Well, good, that was the look I was going for. Just trust me, you'll be glad you brought me along..." I raised an eyebrow. That was a bit ominous, but judging her by her meager appearance would be a misplay.

I told Veronica she could come if she wanted, and she pumped her fist, "Yes! Don't worry, if I turn out to be a burden, we can split up any time. No hard feelings. Oh! And I should probably mention... I asked you about the Brotherhood of Steel because... I'm one of them." I gave her a shocked look, the Brotherhood hadn't been seen around here in years, "I asked because I had to know how you'd react when I told you. We've made a lot of enemies over the years. You still okay bringing me along?" I told her it was actually comforting knowing she had some kind of combat training, and she pulled out a power fist and slipped it onto her right hand and said, "Thanks for taking a chance on a young girl from California with stars in her eyes and a pneumatic gauntlet on her fist."

That business settled, the sun had set, and we found some spare beds to go to sleep for the night.

#story post #fallout new vegas #Will #Veronica #brotherhood of steel #ed e

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svtrie · 3 years

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@hvnlydmn submitted; hi! i’m back to request a male jjk matchup if that’s ok (since my one piece one was so amazing) i’m 5’5, my pronouns are she/her - i have long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white, green eyes + tan skin! im pretty thin with a large butt and thighs ~ i’m bubbly, loud, naturally v flirty + my love language is physical touch! i love working out + i’m a huge foodie - i’m stubborn + impulsive, emotional, giggly, energetic, confident + bold. i love teasing and i’m super playful! i’m competitive, sassy and self-assured/straightforward! tysm, no rush ofcourse, take care of urself <3

welcome back!~ glad you enjoyed the one piece one, i hope this one also meets your expectations, once again thank you for requesting, i match you up with . . .

word count; 955

Gojou Satoru !

You met Gojo when he was still a teenager, meaning he was still a bit rude and arrogant.

You, being the sassy ass you are; ain't gonna deal with his shit at the moment.

So you did what you gotta do, put him in his place.

Oh god that's when Satoru catches feelings for you, you're bold, attractive, confident, and straightforward.

In short, you practically fits all of Gojo's checklist and as a bonus; you can deal with his cocky ass and put him back on the road (in other words, a reality check).

Once he does sort out his feelings for you though, he just straights up tells you it.

I mean, he's handsome, strong, he's basically perfect in his eyes so you won't reject him, right? What could possibly go wrong?

Oh boy, your answer was not what he expected it to be.

You did reject him. (suck ass gojo!!)

He's shocked.

Scratch that, he's devastated.

No one's has ever rejected him before! How? What did he even lack in? He's perfect! How could yo-

"No."

"What?"

"I said no Gojo-san, if you want me to be your significant other, try harder."

Gojo opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, looking like a dejected fish.

Satisfied by his reaction, you turned your back to him and gave him a lazy wave, walking away.

It's safe to say that Gojo took that as a personal mission; to make you fall for him.

But that only backfired and you weren't the one falling for him, but the opposite.

He was falling for you. Like, head over heels.

After he gets older and gets his reality check though, probably when you're both in your early 20's; you finally accept his feelings.

Finally !! After years of dumb competition to make the other fall in love with eachother was finally done.

Shoko is relieved that she won't hear anymore of Satoru's dumb love songs for you.

Seriously, that boy...he confesses with the most dumb ways you could ever imagine with.

"Wait so, Gojo has been bugging you to give him my phone number everyday?" You ask in disbelief as Shoko finished her rant about satoru.

"Yeah, i swear to God if i hear ONE MORE stupid guitar songs that he made, I'm going to lose i-"

You hear a guitar stringing.

"Oh no." Shoko's face switched to annoyance.

"What?" You raised an eyebrow.

"He's here again."

As if hearing that sentence could spawn the devil, Gojo pops out from nowhere, guitar in hand. Getou besides him, holding a tambourine.

"Satoru I swear to go-"

“Good evening, ladies and ladies” a voice; revealing to be Gojo's voice spoke out.

“On today’s concert of ‘Shoko, please give me heavenly's number’ we are joined by the amazing Getou Suguruuu!” Gojo exclaimed as he puffed out his chest proudly.

Shoko's left eyebrow twitched, you merely watched in amusement.

"This was happening everyday?" You asked, eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Everyday." Answered Shoko, voice hoarse and pained.

"Everyday he's been following me with that godforsaken guitar singing stupid songs..!"

“ The first song of the night is called ‘Shoko, I am running out of ways to ask for Heavenly’s number’ featuring my amazing guitar skills and Getou's tambourine. Here we go, five, six, seven, eight…”

Now back to the present, you both are now an official couple and both are jujutsu teachers.

Satoru LOVES the fact that you don't mind whenever he clings on to you; knowing that your love language was also physical affection.

Megumi has had enough of seeing his sensei cling onto you like a koala for several years.

Not to mention the teasing he gets from the both of you.

Seriously. Please give Megumi some mercy.

Also, let me just say this;

Pretty eyes duo !!

Like seriously, I've never seen two pretty eyes couple.

Gojo insists that you and him are soulmates, his reason?

"I mean come on~~ We're meant to be together! Soulmates even! Everything about you fits perfectly with me, think about it!" Satoru confidently exclaimed.

You raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you sure it's not that you're the one made for me and not the other way around?"

"Hmm...Now that i think about it..."

Satoru holds no shame in admitting that he checks you out whenever you work out, even some butt slapping every here and then.

Don't worry, slap his ass back lol.

"Satoru are you looking at my ass right now?"

"Yeah"

You sighed and playfully rolled your eyes, continuing to work out as your man child boyfriend checks you out.

"Ya know..." Satoru starts.

"Hm?"

"It's not fair you get a big ass! I mean, I want a big ass too come on! Can't we be the big ass duo?"

He does however, feel his pride boost whenever a guy checks you out, knowing that they have no chance with you and you belong to him.

Also, you both probably do food reviews, or in Gojo's case : sweet reviews.

Cue him buying sweets from all around the world and teleporting back to the dorms to do a review/mukbang of said food.

It gets alot of views whenever you upload it online so you just both kept doing it lol.

Whenever Satoru feels annoyed by the elders, he just goes up to you and plops his face in between your thighs.

Like, almost suffocating himself.

"Toru, you're gonna suffocate yourself if you're in that position jesus fucking chri-"

"If i die by suffocating in your thighs then so be it, my life is complete" Your boyfriends voice can be heard, a bit muffled.

You got the strongest shaman wrapped around your finger; it's up to you what you wanna do with said info.

sorry if this isn't good as the one piece one, i'm currently still practicing writing jjk characters in general so i apologize if he's ooc.

once again sorry if he isn't the most compatible, although this is only my opinion on who would balance well with you.

note; not proofread ! sorry for some grammatical errors.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo saturo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #matchups #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #submission

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marmar-97 · 4 years

Text

First I want to say thank you @uglynicc-kitchensink for giving me permission to use this pic of your demon Troy drawing, love how you draw him, also got this idea of a fanfic after watching demon slayer and decided on a cross over. HONESTLY THE ANIME IS LITERALLY AMAZING, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T!Sorry this took long Tumblr kept being ass and not letting me upload it. Sorry if it's too long for y'all to read I might have gotten a bit carried away hehe. 😅 but I have a Troy and Tyreen head canon coming sometime this week of their childhood.

To befriend a demon|Demon Troy x fem! Demon slayer

Warnings: blood, biting, smut maybe?

A/N: if you're sensitive to this type of stuff then you probably shouldn't read this 😅

"This is it, final selection. Today I'll become a true demon slayer." You thought to yourself as the ceremony began, although you were a bit nervous thinking you won't make it out alive. You enter and once you're a bit far into the mountains you pick up the scent of two demons as they charge towards you quick. "Pft this'll be easy." You draw your sword out using your technique instantly killing them. "Huh, that was way too easy, they weren't even thinking straight." You walk away putting your sword back and noticed some kid running for his life you saw what he was running from, a demon. He had bat like wings dripping with blood, jet black hair, tall figure, red tattoos in some pattern on his left arm and near his left eye and his jaw was split with blood dripping from it and a long tongue along with razor sharp teeth and he starts speaking. "Every year some dumb child sacrifices their life just to try and kill me? HA! I'm the damn king of this mountain and I'm not going anywhere." The boy falls and the demon grabs his leg with his right arm. "Guess it's snack time!" He says while dragging the poor boy towards him cackling laughter coming from him, screams of terror erupting from the boy's throat as he claws at the ground. "Save him...save him...SAVE HIM NOW!" The little voice in your head said as you jumped out from behind a tree trying to strike the demon but ended up missing as he moves out of the way. He let's go of the person he was about to devour putting his focus on you now. The boy ends up running off on his own now, probably gonna end up getting killed by other demons. "H-hey, don't go off on your own!" You tried calling out to him but he was far gone. "Dammit he got away thanks to you, no matter, I've got new prey now. Heh, more prey asking for a death wish huh? Well then, let's dance shall we? I'll give you a 10 second head start, after that, hide and seek is over, and I'm going to feast on you. Countdown starts... now." You got up and started running as fast as you could away from him. Seconds have passed by already. He was ready for his next treat. "Annnnnd... 1... TIMES UP!" You hear him shout as he extends his wings again and splits his jaw doing the same cackling laugh as before. You managed to jump and dodge tree roots and branches. Taking a glance behind you, you didn't see him in sight making your heart rave a bit. But that's when you knew you messed up as you tripped over a tree root tumbling onto your back hitting your head on a tree very hard. Your vision kept fading in and out as a pair of feet were approaching you. His feet. He had found you. He kneels down next to you. "Well so much for a demon slayer like yourself, heh I could devour you right now but that would be no fun now would it? I like taking my time sometimes when I'm not starving like these other demons out here." You tried moving but he pinned both your wrist to the ground. You tried breaking free from him but he was incredibly strong. You wanted to black out right there but knew you couldn't with a demon around, showing surrender. He saw the blood on your head and licks it. "Ohhh yeahhh that's the stuff, your blood tastes really good, my type of treat." Your body shiver from the feeling of his tongue licking your wound. "Let...me...go!" You knew struggling to break free was useless at the moment since he had a stronghold on you. "Mmm my blood is pumping from the adrenaline, this year's final selection is sure bigger than last year. More blood for me. You demon slayers sure love to come out here thinking you're the shit and could easily kill us demons. Just know that I've survived for so long and became the king. And also..." He shows you his left eye. You couldn't even do anything at the moment but stare at him in shock. He was one of the twelve Kizuki demons, a high ranked one at that. "R-rank 2? S-so who's rank 1?" He must be one of Muzan Kibutsuji's demons." You had a good look of his features up close and noticed how attractive he was, but he was still a demon who devours humans thirsty for blood.

He softly caressed your cheek with one of his sharp nails as his face was inches from yours now as he hovers over you. You closed your eyes thinking he was about to devour you. He still had blood on his face, torso and hands from someone he's devoured before the boy you had seen earlier. "It would really be a shame to actually kill you right here and now, even though I'm supposed to but I think I'm going to have more fun with you. Oh, heh how rude of me not introducing myself, name's Troy Calypso, or demon king, which I go by around here, and what may yours be sweetheart?" He uses his long tongue to clean his face of human blood now. "Ugh, their blood wasn't even good like yours to satisfy my taste." He licks his fingers and hands clean soon after leaving the blood alone on his torso. "Y/N, m-my name's Y/N." His grip on your wrist got a bit tight holding you down still. His lips brushed against yours as he breathed in your scent making you shudder. "Heh, nice name. You smell of, kindness, what a sweet smell." His voice was low and husky. You held your breath as he stared at you with those fiery eyes of his. He held your chin with an index finger and thumb making you look up at him dead in the eye as his lips pressed against yours. Your mind went blank from the move he just pulled. He was kissing you instead of devouring you? You suddenly snapped out of your thoughts and noticed you were kissing him back. Why were you, you weren't really sure yourself. You also weren't sure why he was even kissing you to begin with but you had no other choice. You instead close your eyes as he gets more into it forcing his tongue into your mouth while pushing your legs apart as he moves one of his legs between yours kissing you still. You suddenly let out a low moan from the feeling of his tongue exploring your mouth. He pulls back then sits you on his lap straddling him going for your mouth once more. This time you were whimpering while moaning. You wish you could scream for help but he was preventing you from doing so. After a short while you both pull back to catch your breath. "Guess you humans are worth living sometimes, if only humans and demons could get along somehow."

He goes to kiss your neck or maybe bite it even but gets interrupted when you both hear people shouting for more demons in the distance. You get off his lap as he stands up with his back against you. "How rude of them to interrupt me, well I've got more work to do, maybe when I'm done you and me can continue before you leave this place. Now I must hunt." You see him make multiple copies of himself. "Find them, and bring me their body and soul." They Kneeled in front of him. "As you wish master." And off they went in a flash. He opens up his jaw once more and his teeth get sharp again, along with extending his wings. "W-wait, I can't leave without bringing something back, I-I'll need a head or something to prove I killed a demon." He stops and turns around to look at you. "Fine, here you go." He pops his head off and regenerates a new one shortly after. "You're welcome, now you better go. Don't forget we have some unfinished business before you leave here." And off he flew. You kept the head in a basket as you continued on with your hunt for more demons finally reaching the end. Seems like you've made friends with a demon, or maybe more? You held a hand over your mouth remembering the way he had kissed you. This is a demon you won't forget. You then checked your watch noticing that final selection was over within 2 hours, that also meant the sun will rise up. You've had enough time to wait for other demon slayers to show up. You then saw him him standing there cleaning himself off from the blood that was on him, turning to look at you. "Well I'm full now. Thought you were gonna leave without finishing what we started? You didn't forget our deal now did ya?" You furrowed your eyebrows looking at him now. "I've never made a deal with you." He chuckles low as he walks close to you now. "Oh really? You were enjoying my tongue inside your mouth and didn't fight back so that means you want to continue. You were… aroused. Now, to have some fun, don't worry I don't bite unless you tell me to." You wanted to say something but in one swift move he had you over his shoulder flying off with you now. "What the- HEY WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?! I-I GOTTA GET BACK BEFORE SUNRISE! HEY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! I'M NOT VERY FOND OF HEIGHTS EITHER!" He chuckles while having a smug look on his face that you couldn't see. "You'll see soon enough princess, I'm not gonna kill you if that's what you're thinking, like I said, I'm gonna have fun with you, just be patient." You huffed out in frustration as he finally landed near some cave walking in finally letting you down. You looked past him seeing an exit thinking of escaping but quickly knew it would backfire on since he would actually catch you very easily. "Thinking of escaping? Not possible." He picked up on you looking past him making you tense up. "U-uh n-no I'm just, trying to figure out where I am." You watched as he made his way towards you. "You're not lying to me are you?" He didn't seem a bit angry, in fact he had a neutral look on his face. "N-no of course not, but wh-what do you mean by fun?" You asked just to change the subject, playing his little game now. "Hmmm lemme show you." He picks you up wrapping your legs around his waist pressing his lips against yours in a hungry kiss. You could tell he was waiting to feel your lips on his again. This time you went along with it, not because you liked it, but because you knew you wouldn't be able to beat him in your current rank. Plus you wouldn't even be able to escape. You held onto his shoulders for support so you won't fall.

Suddenly he stops kissing you and changes the inside of the cave into a room. It seemed like it was fit for a king. You look around in amazement at how nice it looked and also from what he just did. "Like it huh? Fit for a king like me. Now to enjoy my time with you." He throws you on his bed not too hard making you bounce a little. It was very soft and comfortable. You watched him as he poked his index finger with his sharp nail on his thumb drawing blood from his finger. He then pressed it against your forehead. Suddenly you felt light headed and numb. "H-huh, what just happened?" You felt like sleeping from the feeling of being on his bed and from being numb. "I don't want you feeling pain from what I'm about to do, plus I want a taste of your blood once more. It's been on my mind ever since and I just needed more. Plus just the thought of tasting your blood while getting intimate with you is getting me all riled up." You didn't say anything as he ripped your dress with his sharp nails. His gaze was hungry when he saw your breasts and he immediately sucked and licked them. You would be lying to yourself saying you didn't like the feeling of his tongue on you. You were getting riled up yourself a bit. He then ripped your bra with his nails putting one of your nipples in his mouth sucking and licking it. You arched your back from the sensation letting out a low soft breath. He then did the same to the other one earning a low moan from you. "P-please, s-stop..." He was enjoying this moment. He bit down on one of your breasts hard drawing blood and drinking it. He hummed in approval sinking his teeth in deeper. He was breathing through his nose as he kept drinking your blood then finally pulling back licking the wound. "Fuck I needed that, but I want more." He goes to your other breasts doing the same thing. You felt his length pressed against your hip while he was enjoying his drink. He pulled back once more ripping your panties then going for your thighs now. He licked one of your inner thighs near your entrance making you squirm a bit. A low chuckle was heard from him as he did it again. And then he bit down on it drinking more of your blood, doing the same to your other thigh. "Mm looking good so far, but you could look better." He pulled you into his lap as his length was pressed against your entrance. He bites your upper arm getting another taste of your blood as you held onto his shoulders for support. You started to grind against him as the pleasure was building up inside you more. And without warning he entered inside of your wet folds. He leaned back propping himself up on his elbows watching you with half lidded eyes as you started to move slow, your blood on him getting him more excited. "yes this is just how I imagined it, you feel amazing." You picked up your pace while having your hands on his chest with your head thrown back as low soft moans escaped from your throat. He helped you by gripping your hip with his left hand pushing you down on his full length. Once you were you leaned in kissing him on the lips as he had a grip on your ass moving you back and forth on him. You moaned into the kiss as his tongue dominated your mouth once more. "Why am I even letting this happen? A-a demon? I should know better than that, but he's just so-" You were cut off when he bit into your upper arm. You hear him groan from both the pleasure and taste of your blood. He sinks his teeth deeper reaching bone and breaks them with one chomp. You didn't feel the pain but knew it would hurt so much if you did from the way your bones just cracked. He bends you over positioning himself behind you as blood dripped from his mouth and jaw. "Don't worry, once I'm done these wounds will be healed right up."

He lightly scratched the back of your neck with a nail drawing out some blood. He leans over you licking your upper back working his way to your neck. You felt him push himself back into you thrusting harshly but slow. You bit your lip trying to hold back your moans but failed when he hit that one spot. You weren't sure how you didn't even pass out yet from all the blood you've lost so far. His pace started getting fast and more harsh. He bit down on one of your shoulders while thrusting inside you still. You couldn't help but moan more getting close to the edge, a knot forming in your stomach. He bit down on your shoulder more breaking your shoulder blade. He finally pulls back from your shoulder admiring his work. He was panting slowing down his pace but his thrusts was still harsh. He kept it up until you finally spilled all over him, your orgasm finally hitting you. He chuckled as he pulled out of you releasing himself onto your back. "Heh you were such a good girl for participating in this sacrifice." You felt more numb than before from all the blood you've lost but managed to speak. "S-sacrafice? Wh-what do you mean?" And that's when you saw him, Muzan Kibutsuji appearing right before you. "Well done Troy, another successful sacrifice, you're close to being rank 1, do your master proud and kill the next victim you bring. This one lives another day." And he's gone in an instant. That's when another demon enters the room, and this one was female with a similar appearance to him but much shorter than him and had white hair to the side covering her right eye? "Were you holding back on this one Troy? What did master think?" She saw that you were still alive and sounded disappointed. "He said the sacrifice was successful but to kill my next victim." She goes over to you now hovering a hand inches from your body and heals your wounds and the same clothing you've had on before. "Well that's good I suppose Troy, alright my work here is-" She gets cut off as you start speaking to her now. "H-how do you know Muzan Kibutsuji?" They looked at both each other giving it the okay to tell you. "We both work for him, and I'm rank number 1." She moves her hair out of the way showing you her right eye with the mark, opposite from her brother's. "So are you two related? But how? I-I thought demons weren't supposed to be in a family." She turned on her heels facing the door now. "Let's just say, we stuck together before becoming demons and our bond never gets broken. Plus we're twins." And she started leaving. You looked at your watch seeing that you've had five minutes left before final selection was over. "Shit I've got five minutes left, I have to get back or they'll think I'm dead." He holds you against him flying with you to the bottom of the mountain where no one could see you both. He landed near a tree placing you on the ground. Before you ran off you felt him grab your arm. "So when will I get to see you again?" Seems like he took interest in you. "I'm not coming back, you know that right?" You actually didn't want to leave him but you had no choice. Seems like you became friends with a demon, though it was against demon corps. rules but you didn't know that yet. "I know but, maybe I could try to see you other than the mountain?" You looked at the entrance seeing everyone starting to leave now. "Sure, now I have to go. Also, I did have fun with you." You smiled at him and he smiled back as you ran to join the other demon slayers who made it out alive. "Guess demons and humans can get along in a way." He says to himself leaving before daybreak.

#demon slayer #demon Troy #troy x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #fanfic #fanart #troy borderlands #troy #troy calypso

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porkchop-ao3 · 6 years

Note

Hi hi. I've been feeling down lately. Like I'm no ones favorite. Can I have a clingy obsessed Rick?

Thank you for your patience with this! Hope this is okay. I didn’t want to go too far with the obsessive thing in case it got out of character, but I hope you like it! I was inspired by my recent uni work... But this fic by no means reflects the way I work xD

Just over 3k words!

My eyes skimmed across the words on my computer screen as I took a sip of tea, the only break I would allow myself because hey, I needed to stay hydrated. As soon as the mug was out of my hands though, my fingers were back on the keyboard, tapping away and filling the screen with more text. Of course, at this point it was all laughable bullshit; as are most essays when they’re started four hours before the deadline. Every point was being dragged out to entire paragraphs, my evidence was being stretched as much as was acceptable to back me up, I’m pretty sure I’d questioned the meaning of life somewhere three paragraphs ago but I’d made it work. I couldn’t afford to go back and change it now anyway, at least whoever had the pleasure of marking the damn thing would have a good laugh. My lecturers had said that technically there were no right or wrong answers for this particular essay, as long as I could back up what I was saying… Well, there was some kind of evidence for everything I’d said so could they really dispute me?

It was all my fault, though. I’d been drifting off to a peaceful slumber, under the sweet illusion that I was completely done for the semester, when suddenly that five thousand word essay I’d forgotten about drifted into mind and jolted me awake. That was two hours ago, and it was currently four in the morning; just two hours away from the six o'clock deadline for the online submission. I was getting there though, just another two thousand words would do it.

With a stressed sigh, I flicked through the book in front of me, searching the index for keywords, absolutely anything I could use. I just needed a scrap of evidence, a slightly relevant quote, and I’d be good for at least two paragraphs. I laughed aloud when I found something, it was bordering on delerium at this point. I was back on the keyboard then, bashing out my next point, just letting the bullshit part of my brain run with it, barely registering what I was typing. I barely even flinched when the darkened room lit up with green light, I just sighed again, my fingers never pausing.

“Not now, Rick.” I said, narrowing my eyes at the screen, my concentration lapsing momentarily, making me forget my flow.

“Oh, oh wow, th-thanks, that’s really -urrghhh- nice.” Rick slurred behind me, and I knew straight away that he was hammered. I rolled my eyes and read through my last few sentences as I tried to tune him out. “I thought you said you were done, on- on the phone you said y-you were fin-ugh-shed.”

“Yeah, then I remembered this entire essay I had to do.” I murmured, what little I had left of my concentration shattering as I felt the warmth of his presence lean over me to look at the screen. His chest brushed my shoulder and he reached an arm out to lean on the desk, shrouding me in his presence.

“Uhhh, are you high? A-are you even reading what you’re writing right now?” He commented after a moment.

“No. To both of those questions.” I told him, carrying on with the essay despite his quips.

“I thought, urp, you were studying art, not ph-philosophy. That’s some deep shit you’re playing with there, what is your essay even supposed to be on?”

“Please Rick, just let me get on with this. If you’re here to get laid then come back tomorrow. Or in two hours, whatever, I don’t care. Just after this is done.” I grumbled. Rick made a sound of irritation, then straightened up, distancing himself from me. I heard him stumbling around the room, fiddling with stuff I couldn’t see. Then I heard the telltale trickle of liquid on metal as he took a drink from his flask.

“Just wanted to see you, s-sorry I’m such a- such a fucking inconvenience.” He said under his breath. I felt a spark of guilt, then brushed it off just as fast. My work had to come first on this occasion.

“I’ll be done soon.” I said, discarding the book in front of me and replacing it with a different one. Fresh book, fresh evidence.

Rick came back over to my desk, picking up a piece of paper, which I knew to be the essay brief. He then proceeded to flick through some of the other papers on my desk, notes, pictures, plans; all hastily done and probably illegible to anyone but me… and even I struggled to read it.

“S-so you gotta compare these two photographs?” He asked. I nodded, not looking up at the images he was showing me. “You talked about how one was taken by a woman and one was taken by a man? Y-you could, urp, could make somethin’ out of that, right?”

“Probably, toss the idea of feminism around and I could get about six hundred words done. Thanks.” I said, making a quick note of the idea in pencil on the closest piece of paper; the textbook. Rick grabbed a chair from the other side of the room and took a seat next to me, slinging an arm over the back of my chair.

“You wrote the word ‘interesting’ three times in the same sentence, there.” He told me, pointing to the screen. “You could change the third one to impactful, think that’d work.” He murmured, disinterestedly yet focused.

“You’re helping me?” I asked, finally looking at him for the first time since he’d arrived.

“Two heads are better than one.” He shrugged. “Would it help you finish faster?”

“I think so. Hell, I might even pass.” I snorted.

“Alright. Let’s get this done, then we can make out, how’s that sound?” He said distractedly, fiddling with a strand of my hair. I raised a brow at him.

“You’re acting strangely.” I noted. “You’re being… nice.”

“Wh-ugh-at, and I’m a cunt for the other three-hundred-and-sixty-whatever days of the year?” He slurred.

“No! You’re just nicer than usual.” I shrugged, turning back to the screen.

“I miss you.” He told me, his voice so quiet I barely heard it. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder more tightly and pulled me into his side. My eyes widened and I sat there, rigid under the unexpected contact. With the proximity, I could smell the alcohol on him, and was convinced that it was to blame. “I’ve barely seen you for two weeks.” He added, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“All my deadlines…” I trailed off. I didn’t need to explain, he knew.

“Still think you should drop out. School is bad enough, but art school?” He scoffed.

“Hey, it’s another three years I don’t have to worry about starting a proper career.” I told him, twisting to nestle into his chest, essay momentarily forgotten.

“Sure, but is it worth the thousands of dollars?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” I sighed and closed my eyes, the fact that it was past four in the morning hit me in the form of sudden fatigue. “Let’s not talk about it.”

Rick’s hand stroked up and down my upper arm, his other hand feeding more alcohol into his mouth. He placed his flask down on my desk then reached for my chin, tilting my head up and kissing me, I responded for a while, leaning into him and enjoying the sensations. I knew I had to stop eventually though, and with a groan I turned my head towards to screen, breaking the kiss. Rick didn’t stop, spreading his kisses over my cheek and temple, down to the side of my neck. I sighed at the attention, but pulled away, turning to face the computer and attempting to get back to work. Rick’s arms encircled my waist, his kisses moving to the back of my neck and the curve of my shoulder, my body tingled and I longed to give him my undivided attention, but the clock was ticking.

“Okay, next point. Feminism.” I said under my breath, trying my very best to ignore what was going on behind me, but Rick wasn’t making it easy for me. His hands found their way to my breasts, squeezing them through my long nightshirt. My nipples hardened against his palms, and I chewed on my bottom lip.

“Remember, there are words other than 'interesting’.” He mumbled into my shoulder, and I snorted, backspacing on the keyboard as he caught me red handed.

“Thank you.” I said, my tone strained. Rick was quiet for another paragraph, silently distracting me with his touch, his persistent kisses egging me on, lighting a fire under me to get this shitty essay done so that I could be with him. I flicked through the book, finding a vague quote about female photographers. Perfect.

“S-sit on my lap, come on.” He whispered to me.

“What? No, I thought you wanted me to finish this quickly.” I laughed, gasping as he slid his hands under my shirt, resting his cool hands on my stomach.

“Come on.” He repeated, pulling me towards him. I gave in, sliding onto his lap, appreciating his little hum of approval as I did. I leaned back against his chest, and surprisingly I found that the rise and fall of his chest helped to focus me, and before I knew it I had another paragraph. I was close to the end; I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and all I needed to do was conclude. I saved the document, just in case, then skim read the entire essay. Sure, it was a fucking trainwreck from start to finish, but it would suffice. I made a mental note of the points I’d made, then made a start on my conclusion.

“Almost there.” I said, biting on my lip as I summed up my essay, pulling it all together to create what I hoped would be a convincing conclusion. A few hundred words later, and it was done, with an hour to spare before the deadline. I was on the low end of the word count guideline, but it would have to do. I checked my references, made sure my bibliography was in order, and loaded up the essay submission page.

“Aren’t you gonna read it back?” Rick asked me, his hands sliding down to my thighs.

“I don’t think it’ll make much difference at this point.” I said, uploading the file. “It’s better than nothing, right? At least I’ve produced an essay.”

“Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He chuckled. I rolled my eyes and clicked 'submit’, immediately closing down the page along with all my other windows, putting the whole ordeal to the back of my mind as I shut the computer down.

“Whatever, it’s done now.” I said, feeling the weight lifting from my shoulders with those words.

“Finally.” Rick said, standing up and forcing me to do the same. He dragged me over to my bed by my wrist and pulled me on top of him as he threw himself down. He kissed me, pushing his tongue past the easily broken seal of my lips, moaning into me. His hands explored my body, feeling me all over like they were starved. “Mm, missed this.” He broke away to tell me, but not for long. He rolled onto his side, grabbing my thigh and hooking it over his hip, putting our groins close together. He ground into me, and I felt his growing erection against my core.

“Rick.” I protested. “This is all you’ve been waiting for?” I asked, irritation clear in my voice. Rick didn’t stop his grinding, groaning quietly.

“Please.” He sounded unusually desperate, and I raised a brow. When I didn’t respond, he slid his hand into my underwear, rolling my clit beneath his fingers in lazy circles. “It’s been so long…”

“It’s been two weeks. I’m tired. I just want to cuddle.” I whined, but that didn’t stop me from effectively riding his hand, tilting my hips into his touch. His fingers moved down, sliding between my slick folds and entering me. I cursed under my breath and clung to his lab coat.

“I want you. Fuck, you’re wet.” He whispered to me, thrusting his fingers, groaning when I tightened around him, my breath catching. “Let me…” he trailed off, his other hand going to his fly, freeing himself from the confines of his pants, he stroked himself as he pleasured me. I gave my approval by pushing his coat from his shoulders and lifting his shirt over his head. He kicked his pants off onto the floor then came close to me, pulling my panties aside.

“Woah, slow down.” I laughed, bracing a hand on his chest. I pulled my nightshirt over my head and tossed it behind me, meanwhile, Rick was pulling my panties down my legs.

“I need to- oh, fuck.” He sighed, staring at my body. He leaned in to kiss me again, a hand on the back of my neck. “How did I go so long without this? Y-you’re like fuckin’… Crack. C’mere.” He urged me closer, thrusting his cock between my legs, letting it slide across my pussy. I wrapped my leg around his hips and nestled closer.

“Do it.” I told him, my words little more than an exhale. I didn’t have to ask him twice, he sunk into me slowly, inch by sweet inch he filled me up. “Oh yes…” I sighed, my eyes falling closed. There was a slight sting, having been a while since we’d done this, but it mingled with the pleasure so nicely.

“Have you touched yourself these last two weeks?” He asked me.

“I’m sorry?” I exclaimed, confused and taken aback by the question.

“I wanna know if- how many times you came without me since the last time we did this.” He said, and I flushed, involuntarily rocking my hips.

“Not even once.” I told him truthfully.

“Mmm, bet you’re sensitive, hmm?” He asked, his fingers returning to my clit as he started moving, rocking into me at a moderate pace that showed little patience. I was grateful for it.

“Yes. I want you to make me cum.” I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck and threading one hand through his hair. He thrust harder, quickening his pace early on and groaning throatily.

“Fuck.” He spat, his free hand clinging to my thigh. I pulsed my muscles around him, feeling shockwaves of pleasure each time, I let my head roll back as I bucked my hips to meet his thrusts, trapping his hand between our bodies. “Ohh god, you’re so gorgeous. So fuckin’ perfect, fuck.”

It turned into desperate, unrefined rutting, but neither of us had the intention of drawing this out. This was needy. Desperate. Purely lust-fueld. I needed release, and I needed to feel Rick cum inside me. I hadn’t realised how much I had needed this, and now that I was getting it, I couldn’t get it fast enough. Rick kissed my throat, leaving sloppy wet marks across the column of my neck, then he bit down on my shoulder. He sucked and licked at me, tasting the salt of my perspiration. His fingers moved purposefully over my clit, rubbing it tight, quick circles that wrung the pleasure out of me effortlessly.

“Cum. I want you to squeeze my- squeeze the cum out of my balls, baby.” He growled, and his words alone sent waves through my body, dizzyingly intense pleasure that pushed me to the edge. “Mmm, feel how wet you are for me, did you miss this?”

“Yes, Rick.” I nodded wildy, hanging off the edge, ready to plummet. With one particularly rough thrust of his hips, I was gone. “Rick!” I called his name loudly, completely forgetting about the thin walls of my dorm room. My pussy throbbed around him, contracting with an orgasm that I could only describe as perfect. It felt like it would go on forever, building with an intensity that made my eyes squeeze shut. I wasn’t even finished when Rick joined me, and I drew his climax into me, welcoming it with a satisfied groan.

We came down together, slowing to a stop and letting our bodies slump against the bed. Rick pulled out of me and proceeded to stroke his softening cock against my opening, smearing his seed in a display of vulgar pride. I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“Mmm, look at that.” He commented quietly, spreading my lips with his fingers and watching the mess he was making with interest. I left him to it, closing my eyes and letting the sleepless nights from the previous week catch up with me. Rick pressed a couple of kisses to my forehead, letting out a satisfied sigh. The bed shifted as he got up to leave, and I was momentarily offended, until I heard the bathroom door opening. He returned a moment later with a washcloth, and gently cleaned us up. I hummed appreciatively, pulling him back over to me, he dragged the duvet with him and covered us up.

“So you missed me, hmm?” I said tiredly, a little smile on my face.

“Don’t get any ideas.” He warned, but wrapped his arms around me regardless.

“You love me.” I smirked. The only response I got was an exasperated sigh. I laughed to myself, and tucked my head under his chin. “Goodnight.”

“It’s half past five in the morning.” He commented in amusement. “We might as well start the day at this point.”

“Fuck that. I’m sleeping through till next week.” I said. He grunted, then pecked the top of my head.

“Well done, for getting all your shit finished.” He said, though it sounded like it pained him to say it. I smiled regardless. “Glad to have you back.” He added, punctuating his words with a squeeze of his arms.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez x reader #fanfiction

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