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wizkiddx · 3 years

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I lovelovelovelove ur writing. Was thinking if u could do one where readers relationship w tom exposed bcos someone recognises her but she isnt famous? And its all backwards and caught out sort of thing

thanks for being so kind! also I feel like me narrator-y voice has gone WAY too far, what do u guys think? I won't be offended promise I just think it sounds so fucking annoying rn

Tom Holland x reader

summary: you run into possibly the most infuriating family members the one time u and ur boy are showing PDA

warnings = none I think :)

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It was a late late evening, on the last train of the night towards manchester, the British countryside plunged into darkness that appeared as a blank, black canvas out the rounded-rectangular windows.

And although the serene surroundings were calming, the regular and rhythmic movement of the carriage on the tracks - you were more on edge. Your relationship with Tom had yet to be revealed to the world - though you’d travelled as part of his extended entourage before under the guise of a ‘family friend’. So now it just being you, Tom, Harry, Andrew and Rachel - you felt more exposed. Of course, you were incredibly grateful that Tom had planned this weekend away for the two of you (after a work commitment, hence the presence of his manger, makeup artist and Harry). But it was scary.

Coming out of Euston station, the earlier time meant the train had been more of a hive of activity. Kids running up and down the aisle, inevitably recognising Tom and then asking for a photo. Enough that you’d had to move a few seats down the carriage, so no one would associate you travelling with the a-lister.

But after you’d past Birmingham and the clocks past eleven pm, everything had quietened down and Tom convinced you to come and sit next to him on the table of four. Andrew and Rachel were taking use of their little duo seat across for you to catch up on some well needed beauty sleep. They’d all been working with Tom doing promo for his most recent movie in London so it’d been pretty 24/7.

That left you, with all the energy, contrasting greatly with the two flagging Holland boys.

“Lets play heads up!” You announced to the much less enthusiastic faces round the tables.

“You can’t play that quietly and the whole carriage dont want to listen to you screeching.” Harry rolled his eyes whilst slightly ripping into you, then picking up his phone - thinking that would shut you up.

“I can play quietly!” You huffed, looking for Tom for backing… which never came. He didn’t even need to try and defend himself before you whacked his chest in false-annoyance.

“ It’s not a bad thing, just passion.” Tom murmured, desperately attempting to sweet talk your round - which of course, was not going to happen.

“No way! I’ll prove it to you!”

“Nonono darling, look I’m tired.” He straight refused, wrappings his arms round your shoulders to try and cage you in. He ended up with his back pressed against the window and your back against his chest. “Lemme just relax with my best girl.” You huffed in reply, worming round in his clutch before eventually giving up and relaxing your head onto his collar bone. For the reasons previously mentioned, you did not for a second believe he was serious with this PDA. Just sitting next to each other was risky enough, now he was very clearly hugging you in a public place. Arching your neck back, you were shocked he already had his eyes shut - looking perfectly contented and relaxed.

“T, are you serious?” You whispered, making him crack one eye open with a questioning look. Instantly he knew what you meant, I mean, it was him that was most worried about people finding out about you - for your sake. His horror stories of previous relationships hadn’t helped, to the point now only your mum dad and siblings knew about your relationship to Tom - mainly for the sole reason your nan was the biggest gossip in the world and could NOT be trusted.

“Course love, it’ll be fine no ones around and I got my cap on. No one will notice us.”

Foolproof. Or so you both thought.

And honestly for an hour or so you relished in the fact that in a public space, your boyfriend was showing you physical affection. It was exciting, which meant as Tom’s arms grew lax round you as he slumped slightly in the chair your energy only increased. No one else was being any use either - Harry had his head in his arms on the table and similarly neither Rachel nor Andrew were conscious enough to keep you company. Finally you settled on playing a game on your phone whilst also ever so softly wiggling round on Tom’s chest, purely because you enjoyed the little huffs and the way he’d squeeze you tighter as he snoozed.

You were engrossed in shitty little iPhone game when a person who was walking down the aisle slowed down, drawing your attention away from the phone. And then your heart literally dropped because you instantly recognised your uncle and cousin, who was 12. Worse though, they had most definitely clocked you.

Of all people, your uncle and boy cousin too. Possible the best (or worst depending on your point of view) at winding you up, at messing with you, for genuinely causing all chaos and mischief with you. They were most certainly not going to be discrete. They’d rib you till your dying day.

“Y/n?” Your uncle spoke first, noticing the that the group you with all seemed to be asleep, so at least trying to be a bit sensitive. Not that it mattered on Tom’s part though, you instantly bolted up and away from him, making him groan as he slowly woke up.

“Er yeh, I-um fancy seeing you guys here. Why were you in London?” Because yes half your family did live in manchester - a fact you felt slightly guilty about, considering you couldn’t fit in a quick and explainable reason as to why you were in that area of the UK during a ‘pop in’. So you’d chosen to keep the whole trip a secret too.

“We’ve been at the footie, could ask you the same question.” Your uncle smirked, noticing toward Tom, who now was blinking his eyes heavily - looking with furrowed brows between the two of you.

Because yes, the cap had been great to stop people recognising Tom. Neither of you were to expect it’d be you that’d be YOU stopped by someone who noticed you.

“Oh um… well er this is my friend Tom, he’s got a work thing in manchester so thought I’d tag along. What was the score?” Yes you described your boyfriend of 9 months as a friend, when it was clear to everyone you were more than that. Though frankly, you still felt sick introducing him as ‘boyfriend’ - that itself was cringe as hell. The reference to football was an in-vain attempt to distract them with the most-boring-sport-in-the-world talk. If only Tom had kept his mouth shut.

“Sorry mate” His voice was a little hoarse, making him force a cough before stretching his hand out. “I’m Tom”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ritchie and this is Matt” Your uncle motioned to his twelve year old son who was smiling politely but his expression seemed to drop as he made eye contact with Tom. Blissfully unaware, Tom shook Ritchies hand your a soft smile.

“How do you guys-“

“I’m her uncle. Tell you what, didn’t imagine bumping into my niece on the 11:30 train to manchester.”

Tom’s face fell and he froze. You’d both been caught out. Massively. It couldn’t get worse, till it did.

“Y/n is that Spiderman?” Because yes, Matt was prime Marvel fanboy age. And yes, of course his favourite hero was Spiderman. And yes, this would probably be the most exciting day of his life. And the most embarrassing of yours.

It was at this point Harry was sufficiently disturbed, enough to make him sit upright whilst also backing away into the corner of the booth, watching from afar.

“I-uh” You didnt really want to say it, for the sake of that meant he was revealing this secret you’d guarded with your life. But at the same time, you had this overwhelming sense of pride for Tom because “yeh, yes he is spiderman.” Matt started jumping up and down like an overexcited boyband fan which made you laugh, heart swelling as Tom chuckled along beside you.

Yes by no means was this ideal. And yes you were now forced to tell your family (so ultimately the world) about your relationship. Maybe that wasn’t so bad though?

hope u enjoyed + thank you for reading <333

tagging: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

#Tom Holland fluff #tom holland #tom holland blurb #tom holland x reader #Tom Holland blurb #tom holland fanfiction

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dherzogblog · 3 years

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The Birth of The Daily Show: 25 Years of Fake News and Moments of Zen

It was July of 1995 and I had left MTV to become President of Comedy Central. It was the basic cable equivalent of going from the NY Yankees to an expansion team. I was on the job just two weeks when I received a call from Brillstein Grey the high powered managers of Bill Maher, host of one of the networks few original programs, "Politically Incorrect". We were informed Bill and his show would leave the network when his contract expired in 12 months. It was a done deal. Bill wanted to take his show to the "big leagues" at ABC where he would follow Night Line. Comedy Central was left jilted. Terrible news for a network still trying to establish itself. We had a year to figure out how to replace him and the clock was ticking. So began the path to The Daily Show.

It was very much a fledgling Comedy Central I joined, available in barely 35 million homes, desperately seeking an identity and an audience. It was just over three years old, born into a shot gun wedding that joined two struggling and competing comedy networks, HBO’s Comedy Channel and Viacom’s HA!, Watching them both stumble out of the gate, the cable operators forced them to merge, telling them: "We only need one comedy channel, you guys figure it out”. After some contentious negotiations the new channel was born and the red headed step child of MTV and HBO set out to find the pop culture zeitgeist its parents had already expertly navigated. The network had yet to define itself. The programming consisted mainly of old stand up specials from the likes of Gallagher (never underestimate the appeal of a man smashing watermelons), a hodgepodge of licensed movies (“The God’s Must be Crazy and The Cheech and Chong trilogy were mainstays) and Benny Hill reruns. The networks biggest hit by far was the UK import “Absolutely Fabulous”, better know as “AbFab”. Comedy Central boasted a handful of original shows, including the wonderfully sublime "SquiggleVision" of “Dr. Katz”, the sketch comedy "Exit 57" (starring the then unknown Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert) and of course Maher’s "Politically Incorrect". In retrospect I don’t think Bill got enough credit for pioneering the idea of political comedy on mainstream TV. Back then he was the only one doing it.

Politically Incorrect performed just fine, but got more critical attention than ratings. It was a panel show, and I had something a bit different in mind to replace it. I knew we needed a flagship, a network home base, something akin to ESPN's Sports Center where viewers could go at the end of a the day for our comedic take on everything that happened in the last 24 hours….."a daily show". I had broad idea for it in my head. I would describe it as part "Weekend Update", part Howard Stern, with a dash of "The Today Show" on drugs complete with a bare boned format to keep costs low so we could actually afford to produce it. We could open with the headlines covering the day's events (our version of a monologue), followed by a guest segment (we wouldn't need to write jokes...only questions!), and finish with a taped piece. Simple, right? We just needed someone to help flesh out our vision.

Comedy Central was a a second tier cable channel then and considered a bit of a joke (no pun intended). It had minuscule ratings, no heat and even less money to spend. Producers were not lining up to work with there. Eileen Katz ran programming for the channel and the two of us began pitching this idea to every producer who would listen. One of the first people we approached was Madeleine Smithberg, an ex Letterman producer and had overseen "The Jon Stewart Show" for us at MTV. We thought she was perfect for the role. “You can’t do this, you can’t afford this, you don't have the stomach for this, it will never work ” Madeliene said when we met with her. We could not convince her to take the gig. Ok then....we moved on. The problem was we heard that same refrain from everybody. No one wanted the job. So after weeks being turned down by literally EVERYONE, I said to Eileen: “We have to go back to Madeleine and convince her to do this with us"!

Part our pitch to her was we would go directly to series. There would be no pilot. The show was guaranteed to go on air. We had decided this show was our to be our destiny and we had to figure it out come hell or high water. As a 24 hour comedy channel, if we couldn't figure out a way to be funny and fresh every day...what good were we? We told Madeliene we were committed to putting the show on the air and keeping it there till we got it right (for at least a year anyway). That, plus some gentle arm twisting got her to sign on. Shortly after that, Lizz Winstead did too.

Madleiene and Lizz very quickly landed on their inspired notion of developing the show and format as a news parody. It brought an immediate focus and a point of view to the process . All of the sudden things started to take shape and coming to life. Great ideas started flowing fast and furious while an amazing collection of funny and talented began to come on board. Madeliene and Lizz were off to the races. Now all we needed was a host.

The prime time version of ESPN's Sports Center was hosted by Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann back then and it was must see cable TV. But I had recently started to notice another guy hosting the show's late night edition. He was funny, with a snarky delivery reminiscent of Dennis Miller. His name was Craig Kilborn. On the phone with CAA agent Jeff Jacobs one day, I asked if he knew happened to know who repped him? “I do" he said. "We just signed him”. Within days he was in my office along with Madeleine, Lizz, and Eileen who were all a bit skeptical about the tall blond guy with the frat boy vibes sitting across from them. After opening the meeting with a few off color comments that would probably get him cancelled today (an early warning sign fo sure), Craig ultimately won them over and we had our host.

FUN FAC#1: Minutes after the news of Craig's hiring went public, Keith Olberman's agent called me directly to ask why we hadn't considered hiring him?

Ok, we had a host and producers...but what to call it? After sifting through dozens of ideas for a title, Madeleine called me one day and said, "I think we should just call it what we've been calling it all along...."The Daily Show". As we approached our launch date we taped practice shows and took them out to focus groups to get real life feedback. The groups hated it.... I mean with a red hot hate. They hated Craig, the format, the jokes, everything. We were crushed and dejectedly looked around at the room at one another. "Now what?" “Either they’re wrong, or we are". I said I think they are...but it doesn’t matter, we're doing this!" We never looked back.

The show took off quickly garnering some quick buzz and attention, we felt like we had crashed the party. Well, sort of. We had no shortage of fun, growing pains and drama along the way. The Daily Show version 1.0 was about to unravel. In a December 1997 magazine interview Craig made some truly offensive and inappropriate remarks about Lizz and female members of the staff. Whether it was poor attempt at humor or just plain misogynist (or both) is beyond the point. It was all wrong, very wrong. Craig was suspended for a week without pay. Lizz left the show. In the moment I chose to protect the show and its talent more so than Lizz. That was wrong too. It's more than cringe worthy looking back now, and I regret not making some better decisions then. My loyalty to our host was later "rewarded" when in the Spring of 1998 Kilborn's team, a la Bill Maher, unceremoniously informed us he had signed a deal to follow Letterman on CBS when his contract expired at the end of the year. No discussion, a done deal. Comedy Central jilted again. Like Maher, Kilborn wanted his shot at the network big leagues and we had a little over six months to figure out how to replace him. We all know how that chapter ended. That search would eventually reunite us with Jon Stewart who along with The Daily Show took Comedy Central and basic cable to the "the big leagues" on their own terms, redefining late night comedy in the process The rest, as they say, is "Fake News" history.

Fun Fact #2: before approaching Jon (who I did not originally think would be interested) I initially offered the job to a chunkier, largely unknown Jimmy Kimmel, fresh off his co hosting duties on "Win Ben Stein's Money" ...only to have him turn us down.

My fascination with late night began as a kid. I remember how exciting it was to stay up to sneak a peek at the Carson monologue and watch him do spit takes with his chummy Hollywood guests. Later on I also loved the heady adult conversation Dick Cavett would have with everyone from Sly Stone to Groucho Marx. But it was the comedic revolution of Saturday night Live in 1975, followed by Letterman's game changing show in 1981 that truly established late night as the coolest place on the television landscape. I could only dream of one day being part of it.

25 years on, I couldn’t be more proud of The Daily Show and its legacy. Those days helping build it alongside Madeleine, Lizz, Eileen and the team were among the most satisfying (and fun) experiences I have ever had. It was thrilling to take a shot at the late night landscape and try and make our mark, especially when no one thought we could.

I am prouder still of what Trevor Noah and his staff have achieved since they took the hand off from Jon, evolving and growing the show through a new voice and lens. I think my personal "Moment Of Zen" will last as long as Trevor remains behind the desk, allowing me to selfishly boast of having hired every host this award winning and culture defining franchise has ever had.

25 years later. it remains as relevant as ever, a bona fide late night institution, standing shoulder to shoulder with all the great shows that inspired us to start.

#the daily show #jon stewart #trevor noah #comedy central

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selsprompts · 4 years

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Who’s the best boyfie?

Insight; This is literally a shit post idk what this is okay- I basically wanted to do some boyfriend headcanons with my best boys Kuroo and Bokuto because why not??

This is literally all over the place pls don’t come for me.

Characters; Tetsurō Kuroo & Kōtarō Bokuto

Warnings; cursing & erm there’s implied smut so read at your own risk mkay ghouls and gals tyty

Kuroo<3

oh gosh my favourite boy!!

Lots of hugs and kisses regardless of where you are this mf does not CARE.

but will be respectful infront of elders (ofc)

Loves to mark you up (hickeys ect)

He is definitely a physical boyfriend in every sense of the word

He comes off as the blunt type, definitely won’t beat around the bush when he wants something from you but will tease.

“Kitten, stop doing your work and come cuddle with me”

“Not right now Tetsurou”

“You’ve been studying for 3 hours just take a break”

“Oh yeah and do what?”

“I mean that chair looks a little uncomfortable, I have a better one right here”

Cocky bitch 101

You’ll be like ???

And he’ll be smirking licking his lips and then you catch his drift because he meant his face.

Soz back to cute stuff I’m—

He likes to buy you over the top things for special occasions.

this doesn’t mean he doesnt buy you things for non-special occasions.

it means that he puts more effort into Christmas, birthday and anniversary gifts.

Like this guy is ALWAYS doing the most just to show you how special you are no matter how much you think you aren’t.

He loves you to death and loves to show you off.

Shows you off infront of his friends especially so they can get jealous.

“Oya Oya that’s my baby, you look so good today”

“Yeah, yeah I know”

“Oh you know?”

“Yes?”

“You hear that Kenma? Y/n ALREADY knows!!”

Kenma is like 0_0 but he will compliment you saying you look nice

Kuroo likes to spend lunch with you, basically any of his spare time outside of vollyball and studying, that time is reserved for you.

It doesn’t bother him much because he sees his friends during classes and majority of them are in vollyball anyways.

WILL. FLIRT. WITH. YOU. IN. CLASS.

He will send you notes and purposely tease you (maybe try to get you in trouble)

“Hey y/n take the note”

“nO Kuroo I’m going to get in trouble”

“Come I’m just this one time-”

“KUroo no-”

“Excuse me, Mr/Ms Y/n, am I interrupting your conversation?”

“No Miss”

“Mmm”

“I’m gonna kill you Kuroo”

“ehehe”

Now he can tell you about how you need to be punished later for making such a big mistake.

Kuroo is top. He will switch if that’s what you really want but majority of the time he’s top.

Kuroos way or the fucking highway 8)

Type of bf to text you at 2am asking to FaceTime till he falls asleep and you comply

Sends you memes that you two can laugh about next time you see eachother.

Sends futuristic memes (as in things that would happen in the future between you to)

*Marriage memes*

Loves to help you do whatever you need.

He hates seeing you struggle when it’s not underneath him

Makes fun of your height if you’re shorter than him CONSTANTLY

“Hey short stuff, how’s the grass?”

if you’re taller he will be lowkey jealous that he has to look up to you.

“Hey, if it isn’t my long legged kitty, come down from up there”

Loves you regardless of what you look like honestly.

Loves you for the mindset you have and the person YOU ARE.

Kuroo is the type to fall INLOVE with someone’s way of life and how they choose to live it.

King shit all the time pls you are his King/Queen.

You ARE royalty in his eyes and deserve nothing but the best, no more no less.

Will reassure his love when need be. It’s cute because he doesn’t do it often.

10/10 boyfriend will definitely share the bed.

You’re usually little spoon but when he’s cranky and loses a match, he won’t say it but you’ll just know that he wants to be held so you be the big spoon:’)

Bokuto<3

okay off the bat this MF IS SO HYPER MY GOD-

will want your attention 24/7.

always has to make sure you’re safe.

he’s so cute when you ignore him purposely especially over text,

“Hey baby”

*read*

“Helloooo y/n”

*read*

“noe what did I do pls tell me🥺”

babie hotline 101.

wbk he super emo so when you do stuff like that he’s in babie mode.

will always answer your texts ASAP.

V supportive of anything you do 100%.

He is the physical boyfriend but is a tiny bit more modest in public and likes to keep it respectful infront of elders/superiors.

Loves to hug you from behind so he can pop his head on your shoulder and look at you from the side like ;).

he will say he loves you all the time just cause he wants you to know.

this goes for in person and over text,

“Hey y/n”

“Yeah Bokuto?”

“I love you”

“That was random”

“I know but I just want you to know how I feel right now”

“I love you too goofball”

“Hehe”

WILL HEHE WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT HIM PLS HE SNICKERS ALL THE TIME AND BLUSHES.

Loves to give affection however he can.

This means he’ll bring flowers during lunch or whatever just to surprise you to see the look on your face.

Loves sharing food with you because he gets to feed you.

Same when you’re sick he will be babying you.

Bokuto is a switch so he’s moody no doubt about it for when he wants you on top.

He can be v dominant when you see him after a match he lost or if he’s very hype.

Will go into “whos the best fucking player mm?” mode in the bedroom 0_0.

Loves when you pull his hair WHEHE.

Loves to do matching outfits sometimes lowkey.

Also LOVES LOVES LOVES to show you off infront of literally everyone???

Akaashi is like ok chile.

He thinks your relationship is good for bokuto because he’s not up his ass all the time and he doesn’t have to deal with the emo king.

Loves to kiss you on the forehead during romantic moments.

He feels that it symbolizes more affection then a kiss on the lips sometimes.

He also kisses you by grabbing you with both hands by the face.

Super passionate kisser literally out of a movie scene.

Likes sending memes of like everything dedass, especially shows you watch together which is ALSO a lot.

Will name a star after himself and tell you that ‘whenever you look up at the sky you can find me’

Super cute gifts.

Bokuto has a type.

It’s the incredibly cute kind.

He needs someone to match his uwu energy.

He loves you for your ambition and strive.

This is because he feels the same way about vollyball so when he sees you being so driven with something it reminds him of himself.

Loves your personality more than anything.

You’re probably always big spoon because babie hello unless he’s like ok protective owl time.

If you’re short he loves to throw you over his shoulder and run around with you.

“Babe not again”

“But WHYYYYY it was so fun last time”

“FOR YOU! I was being carried around like a dead CHICKEN”

“A CUTE DEAD CHICKEN!”

“I- bokuto”

If you’re tall he will dedass ask you to do blocks for him even if you don’t play vollyball... there is no choice.

Tall jokes 24/7.

“How’s the weather up there mm?”

“Shut up bokuto”

“Mhm just don’t get hit by any birds”

“-_-”

Boyfriend status again 10/10 but will pull the wholeass sheet off of you and when you yell at him he will tell you to ‘get closer then’.

It’s really a preference at this point.

Hey guys, I apologize for this long awaited post. I’ve had this in my drafts for forever and I haven’t been feeling in the mood to write lately but I hope this is good!

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disasterinadress97 · 4 years

Text

Dallas Winston Headcannons nobody asked for 🤷🏻‍♀️

Trigger warning ⚠️

A bit of nsfw in there too

Pre Tulsa, life in New York

• His mom was a drug addict and had Bipolar 1 disorder

• He has/had 4 siblings, an older brother (six years older) from his moms previous relationship, older sister (five years older) from his dads past relationship, a twin brother (who was trans ftm) and a little sister (eight years younger than him)

• He was always the one to take care of his mom during her depressive episodes when she wouldn’t leave her bed.

• She often left days-weeks at a time when she was in a manic state

• He practically raises his baby sister, she died when she was four due to cancer

• That was when he decided he hates kids cause they always reminded him of her

• he was always stealing and dealing to get his twin brother anything to help his body dismorphia and feel more comfortable in his body

• His mom often sold his body and his brother’s to her drug dealer when they couldn’t afford drugs (his dad did not know this at the time)

• his dad was actually a good dad till their mom walked out on them when he was 9, that was when he started drinking and abused Dallas because ‘you fuckin look so much like her’

• He was apart of two gangs in New York, one of which was a Drag Queen gang

• The one Queen lived beside him and always heard fighting, she took him under her wing and after his mom left they were practically the ones who raised him and his little sister

• the two older siblings and his twin left a little while after their mom did, that was when he learned you can’t trust anyone

• you bet your ass this boy dressed in drag with his queens, a master with make up, can’t change my mind

• can walk in high heels/‘stripper shoes’ like no other!

• started selling his body to strangers for money after his mom left and his dad started drinking to afford to feed his sister and himself

• His other gang was a bunch of stereotypical big mean, manly gang members

• He started dating a guy from said gang, this guy was hella abusive, controlling and manipulative. Also was twice Dal’s age

• when Dallas left New York he broke up with him and the guy beat the shit out of him and burned him with a poker ‘so you’ll never forget me’

In Tulsa/present?

• has some severe PTSD, also suffers from abandonment issues, anxiety, depression and Bipolar 2 disorder

• Loves him some Rupauls drag race, reminds him of his Queens and how much he misses them

• Acts so tough and mean because In New York he was tough and knew it but was always seen as the ‘little kid’ so going to Tulsa that wasn’t gonna happen again

• first people he came out to about being bi was Mr and Mrs Curtis

• they also found out he was selling his body for rent/food money and that was when they realised how much they care about him

• him and Mrs. Curtis were super close, she was the closest thing he had to a real mom.

• He is actually so soft behind the tough guy act

• cuddles? All the time

• is a total brat sub/bottom don’t @ me

• the gang found out about his Drag Queen past when he accidentally sent pony the wrong photo from his phone ‘you tell them you die!’

• he obviously blabbed

• everyone was shook.

• Johnny was amazed because ‘he’s so tough but so pretty!’

• two bit laughed but lowkey was impressed with Dallys confidence to do that

• Steve was just ‘if it makes him nicer and happier than whateva’

• you already know soda begged him to do his make up let’s ge honest

• Darrel was quiet but was also a good dad and was like ‘as long as it keeps him out of jail we will always love him’

• he was touched but also super embarrassed the gang found out about it, but was thankful they were cool with it

• gang 100% harassed him to wear drag for them Atleast once

• one day dallas brought his make up and shoes over, he did his and soda’s make up and wore his shoes and the gang was shook! ‘How can you walk in those?! So easily??’ ‘He looks prettier than half the girls at school!’

• all the support from the gang!

• Dallas actually reads a lot like pony does but doesn’t talk about it incase he gets made fun of for the books he likes

• is also really smart but plays dumb

• this boy LOVES vampires, they’re his guilty pleasure. We talking the vampire chronicles, the vampire diaries, true blood, he even liked the twilight books but will never tell a soul!

Dating headcanons!

General:

• cuddles all the time

• is very insecure and gets jealous easy

• surprisingly isn’t violent or aggressive when jealous, he’s scared if he is they will leave

• plot twist! Sylvia was actually a beard so Soc’s and other gangs wouldn’t know he’s bi

• they only said she cheated cause she was caught with another dude. The hate and hurt was all an act

• is a brat so will tease his dom in public subtly but so much

• is super clingy

• wants to be together all the time

• always needs reassurance ‘are you sure you’re still happy? Like I didn’t do anything wrong?’ ‘No, babe I love you’. ‘Oh okay, are you sure tho?’ 24/7

Johnny

• always getting Johnny to stay at bucks or his dads when his dad isn’t home so Johnny is safe

• feeding this boy all the time!

• when he hears dal is a bottom Johnny is shook but surpringly into a ‘daddy’ role

• drive in dates whenever they can

• they watch the stars a lot

• when Dallas is super anxious he picks at his nails a lot and Johnny holds his hands to help him feel a bit at ease

• when Dallas is in a manic state Johnny follows him anywhere he goes. Parties, fights, anything. He just wants to make sure he doesn’t get jailed again or hurt

• Johnny highkey loves when Dallas dresses in drag ‘you’re just so confident and hot!’

Steve

• watches while Steve works on his cars, he likes seeing Steve so interested and content

• when either of them fight with their dads they drive around all night and talk. They are both quiet about feelings usually but wanna be there for each other

• hangs around the DX while Steve and soda work

• both don’t say a lot normally but are always touching each other

• when Dallas is in a depressive episode Steve will come to bucks and just lay with him for hours

• They talk about both their moms walking out on them sometimes. They both swear if they ever met these women there would be hell to pay ‘how could she abandon this beautiful person?’

Soda

• all the spooning you could ask for

• Dallas is always complimenting him. ‘You’re so pretty wtf’

• on the anniversary of sodas parents death Dallas buys him flowers and they go to their graves

• when Dallas doesn’t answer his phone Soda highkey panics ‘what if he’s hurt?! What if he’s in jail ahain?’

• Dallas always feels bad about this and tries to make it up to him

• soda is always reminding Dallas he’s not alone and he loves him

• when soda really misses his mom Dallas and him talk about some of their favourite memories with her. Soda is still sad but it makes him a little happier knowing how much she cared about him and the one he loves so much

Two bit

• jokes 24/7

• when the gang isn’t around Dallas only calls him Keith or babe

• two doesn’t usually like his name but when Dallas says it he hates it a little less every time

• two bits mom wasn’t a fan of Dallas at first but after a while and gets to know him she loves him so much ‘mom I’m home’ ‘where is dallas’ ‘idk’ ‘tell him to come over I’m making his favourite dish’

• when two bit gets jealous or feels Dallas is he always puts his arm around his waist or kissing him so the person gets the hint

• twos little sister looks up to their relationship a lot and loves how happy her brother is

• two doesn’t stop drinking but slows down on it when Dallas mentions once it worries him sometimes

• Dallas and twos little sister get close really fast. Dallas is always giving her advice and one day brings her some old make up of his and she loves it!

• two doesn’t understand why dallas seems a little sad after times like these until one day dallas tells him about his little sister and how two should spend more time with her, ‘just in case something happens. I don’t want you to regret anything like I do’

• two makes a point to spend more time together the three of them after that

Pony

• they read together sometimes

• Dallas will go to literally any movie if pony is interested

• picks pony up from school everyday

• if Dallas gets arrested you know pony is lecturing him for Atleast a half hour. Dallas just sits there with heart eyes because ‘damn I missed this pain in my ass’

• dates at the Dingo are their Friday night ritual

• they both have terrible nightmares and are always cuddling and comforting eachother after

• Dallas is always saying little things to pony about his relationship with Darrel ‘I know he’s on your case all the time but it’s cause he means well’. Dallas then tells pony about his brothers and sister and how he wishes he could live with them and see them like pony can with Darrel

• pony and dar still fight sometimes after this but never in front of Dallas

Darrel

• they don’t go out a lot for dates but like to watch their favourite shows together (they kick the gang out for a few hours on these nights)

• Darrel brings out the brat in Dallas 24/7 and he teases him all the time until Darrel gets to a point he just looks at him and with a deep voice ‘bedroom now’ and Dallas practically trips over his own feet running to the room

• they are not quiet either! The gang sees them go in Dar’s room and they all groan and leave ASAP

• the gang found out about them when the gang came over and heard Dallas call out ‘daddy!’ And never let him live it down ‘how’s it going daddy’s boy’ ‘I will literally kill you two bitch’

• Darrel never celebrates his birthday after his parents die and Dallas puts an end to that so fast. He goes all out, flowers, presents, sexy time. Anything he can do

• always sitting on Darrel’s lap, clinging to him, hugging. All of it. He’s just amazed and thankful he has such a strong and beautiful bf who loves him

• dar once let dallas do make up on him and Darrel borderline didn’t like how good he looked in it

• Dallas got him to experiment in drag and Darrel felt hella empowered. Now they dress up together sometimes. But dar says only Dallas is allowed to see him like that

• this makes dal feel extra special and close to dar and he loves it

Tim

• sarcastism never stops

• Tim is quiet but really protective, he can say whatever he wants about Dallas but once someone says one bad thing they best be ready to square up

• patching eachother up after fights al the time

• they be kinky bitches man!

• after a nightmare Dallas told Tim a little bit about his ex and it took dallas an hour to talk him out of going to New York to kill this man

• Dallas does strip teases for Tim in his stripper shoes on special occasions.

• Tim didn’t tease him for his make up or anything, he actually found it real pretty on him

• Tim never lets him stay at his own place or bucks after they get together.

• Tim is Demi sexual

• Dallas heard his ex was released out of prison and has a sever panic attack. Tim was right there reassuring him ‘babe I’m right here. No ones gonna hurt you’.

• dals mom comes to town and Tim got Angela and her friends to give her a ‘Tulsa greeting’. Needless to say she left as soon as she came

This was so long and horrible I’m sorry

Special thanks to @sunlitcigars for helping with some ideas and encouraging me to post these

#dallas winston #outsiders #headcanon #dallyboy #jally #steve/dallas #dalbit #twobit #sodapop #darrel curtis #steve randle #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #mental health #ptsd #new york #tulsa #the outsiders #they trash im sorry

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mikeyhatesit113 · 3 years

Text

forever and never: Chapter 10

My car pulls up to the daycare entrance and Janie comes outside, the overnight bag slung loosely from her shoulder. Her face is blank, but her demeanor is defeated. She walks to my car and she gets in, shutting the door behind her. It’s just us two and a pregnant silence now.

A million questions swim through my mind.

Not to be outdone, she has a million excuses prepared.

“He drove you to work this morning?” I start by asking.

“Yeah,” she says quietly.

After the barrage of text messages from her and Bill, I am still unclear about what the truth is.

He said they met multiple times.

She said once.

He said they kissed several times.

She claimed once.

But whether it was a thousand times, or just once, I had a single question. This question did just pertain to the past 24 hour’s events, but it covered all the happenings over the past two years.

The hotel stays without receipts or bank records. The men who were just friends. The phone calls and text messages dripping with secrecy. The names under other names.

The nights where I watched her walk away.

“At any point throughout any of this, did you ever consider what you were doing to your sons’ home?” I asked.

My voice was not loud. My tone was not vicious.

It was a simple question that any mother should have been asking themselves. An anguished look comes across her face and she leans forward, putting her face in her hands.

Her muffled sobs fill the car and the atmosphere is devastating for both of us.

She had been caught, and another secret love story had been reduced to smoldering ash.

And for the third time in 2 years, I once again had been deceived.

Only this time, I had more answers than questions. I knew she was actually guilty.

Her lips had actually touched another man’s.

Proof beyond a reasonable doubt.

With this verdict, what would the jury decide?

They were lenient.

My heart wrenched at the thought of leaving her and the boys. After all we had been through, and all I believed we had overcome, I just couldn’t bring myself to throw in the towels.

I had watched those two little boys grow into walking, talking mini-adults.

James was no longer a curious Pre-K little boy. He was now 10, and he was funny. He had friends, and we had a great relationship. He loved Michael Myers just like I did, and he mimicked my wacky antics around the house. He was as close as a son could be.

Brock was no longer a tot in diapers. He was an animated kid who had started school now, and he loved to wrestle in the living room with his brother and I.

After 4 and a half years of being responsible for them, I was supposed to walk away without a second thought?

What if we could overcome this? One more thing to look back on as an old couple, decades later on that typical front porch swing moment. Saying with a smile as we are looking into eachother’s eyes, “We made it.”

“We got through it.”

“We proved our love was stronger than anything.”

“For better or for worse.”

Despite everything I knew, and how dirty I felt, I had decided to stay. I couldn’t pronounce it dead yet, despite what the vitals were telling me.

And as we moved on just days after the Bill scandal broke, I remained disturbed by a single, abstract thought.

I had trusted Bill, and he was a great friend.

He was my groomsman who saw us at our worst and our best.

But the fact that I was blindsided by his betrayal wasn’t because of those things, necessarily.

It was due to something else.

Like, the fact that, Bill wasn’t the one I had my eye on.

I was eyeing another person entirely, and we had already crossed paths.

Let me introduce you to, Steppenwolf.

“Mr. Steppenwolf is so funny,” Janie laughed in the kitchen as she was preparing dinner one day. We were telling eachother about our respective days, and she was telling me about how Mr. Steppenwolf, a fellow daycare teacher, had outsmarted an angry parent that day.

In fact, Mr. Steppenwolf was the director of the program at Janie’s center.

Sound familiar?

“And he has the craziest hats,” she giggled.

“Oh,” I responded. A balding man with gray hair in his 30’s with a wacky hat collection seemed interesting enough, but it quickly left my mind.

He was married with kids, anyway.

But then, Mr. Steppenwolf popped up on my radar again just days later.

I was scrolling through Instagram, and I noticed that Steppenwolf had been “liking” and commenting on almost every one of Janie’s pictures.

Despite the arena I was in, I wasn’t a terribly jealous guy. But for curiosity’s sake, I went to Steppenwolf’s profile and discovered that Janie was doing the exact same thing to his photos.

For instance, his picture of a stink bug had earned a “like” from Janie, and a bonus comment that said, “OMG Mr. Steppewolf, what a creepy bug!”

In addition, I noticed that their social networking relationship was barely a month old, and the commenting/liking had picked up in frequency.

But nevertheless, I wasn’t a jealous guy. However, I did casually tease Janie about the interactions with Mr. Steppenwolf on Instagram. She played it off and changed the subject.

Coincidentally, Mr. Steppenwolf’s profile went PRIVATE a day later.

But perhaps, Steppenwolf was deemed a true threat until one beautiful Summer day.

It was a sunny, July day, and I was going to a Fantasy Football draft at a friend’s house.

Janie, usually opposing my attendance to such events, was surprisingly supportive and cool with my plans to go. In fact, she whipped me up a batch of Buffalo Chicken Dip to take along as a party contribution.

“And I know when you guys get together, you like to stay out late. Just so you know, I won’t be mad if it goes to 2am or something. You deserve to have a good time with your friends,” she spoke.

“Are you sure you’re ok with me going?” I asked as I put tin foil over the top of the chicken dip pan.

“Yeah,” she insisted brightly. “I’ll just hang out around here, or maybe go see my parents at the campground,” she said.

“Cool,” I said, grabbing my keys. I was running a bit behind on time, and I had to get on the road. I had planned to leave 10 minutes earlier, and now I was probably going to be late.

Just then, Janie’s phone on the counter lit up.

Out of habit, I looked at the screen and saw a text.

From Steppenwolf.

“Hey bud, wasn’t sure if we were still on the for the movie? If not, just let me know, and I’ll kick back and hang around the house.”

I read the message, my jaw clenching and my mind beginning to race.

Movie? With Steppenwolf??

What the fuck?

Janie looked at the screen, and immediately after reading the message, she got frantically defensive.

“He’s texting the wrong Janie!” she insisted, her eyes quickly welling with tears. “He must have meant the other Janie in the other program,” she explained.

She picked up her phone and dialed Steppenwolf immediately. He answered, and once again, what she said next would determine everything.

“Hey Mr. Steppenwolf,” she greeted him. “I have a very upset husband standing next to me, and he thinks your message was actually meant for me,” she fake chuckled.

I’m not certain what he said, but Janie’s reaction did its best to make me believe that this was indeed just a big misunderstanding.

“That’s what I said!” she said on the phone, laughing.

She offered me the phone. “Did you want to talk to him?” she asked.

“No,” I said, scowling.

I wasn’t sure what the fuck was going on, but it didn’t look good. As I waited for her to end the call, I knew that I no longer wanted to go to the Fantasy Football draft.

I wanted to dump the buffalo chicken dip in the trash.

How could I go have a good time with these new suspicions?

In terms of timeline, the Bill scandal had not yet happened. That wouldn’t be happening for another two weeks yet.

So in truth, these were my first suspicions since a year earlier when she ran off into the night with Shawn.

But I thought we had moved past that? I thought I’d never feel that way again?

Janie hung up the phone and insisted that his message was meant from someone else. I did my best to believe her, but I was uneasy.

What if it wasn’t a mistake?

I reluctantly left the house and went to the Fantasy Football party, sitting amongst my friends and doing my best to act normal.

Janie, almost as if she knew that I was on alert, texted me frequently.

A few hours later, I left the Fantasy Football party and went to the campground her parents were at. Janie had went to visit them, and she invited me to swing by.

We sat around the fire, talking casually. Janie and I did our best to ignore the serpent between us that had just been resurrected, threatening to strike.

As the days that followed went on, I noticed other little changes in Janie.

She suddenly took a big interest into the sporty attire that the younger girls at her center wore. She suddenly bought several pairs of running shorts, and her behavior at home transformed into more of their demeanor as well.

She’d post pictures online of herself posing flirtatiously with them. Of course, these photos had a thumbs up from Mr. Steppenwolf, who was often lingering in the background and making goofy faces.

Then, she started staying out later at night. She’d cite after-work meetings at a nearby sports bar, but some nights, she wouldn’t come home till after midnight. I’d stay up and wait for her, knowing I’d have to be awake for work in less than 5 hours, but I couldn’t sleep.

I had to know she was safe, and I had to torture myself with secret suspicions.

I’d watch the Lancer pull into the driveway as relief washed over me. I’d run upstairs and crawl into bed quickly so that she wouldn’t know I had stayed up to wait. She’d come upstairs and get ready for bed quickly, and as she’d get under the covers, I’d smell the beer on her breath.

She’d fall out pretty quickly, but I often laid there in the dark as I stared at the ceiling, wondering where her night had taken her.

The weird occurrences continued one day when I saw a mixed CD in her car. It was titled “Daddy Mix”, and it contained nothing but songs with the word “Daddy” in their titles.

“Daddy Sang Bass”, by Johnny Cash.

“Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home)”, by Usher.

“Daddy’s Eyes”, by The Killers.

“What’s this?” I asked, holding up the CD.

“Oh, that,” she laughed. “So, I call Mr. Steppenwolf ‘daddy’ at work, and everyone thinks that it’s funny,” she explained. “So they all got together and put this CD together for me, and slid it in my mailbox,” she said.

The explanation seemed off to me. I’ve found many things my co-workers have done to be hilarious, but creating a mixed CD for them as a result honestly never crossed my mind.

It was such a small occurrence that I quickly forgot about it.

Either that, or I was actively overlooking things as to not find a reason to worry about them.

All I wanted was peace as a husband. I never believed that I had accidentally signed up to be a 24/7 private investigator.

Then one night, I came face to face with Steppenwolf.

It was a night where another after-work meeting was taking place, and she invited me. I sat there amongst her co-workers, and I found myself having a pleasant time as I met people and their spouses for the first time.

Then, Steppenwolf showed up.

I noticed quickly how he presented himself. Though he was a smaller man, he carried himself with an upmost self-importance.

I watched him get out of his purple sports car, and as he walked up, I saw him tug at the bottom of the tight lime-green polo he had decided to wear.

He walked into the outdoor patio area we were all seated at, and his co-workers welcomed him as he took a seat at the far end of the two tables we had pushed together to accommodate our party size.

Steppenwolf did not look at me.

Janie was seated beside me, deep in conversation with a fellow co-worker. I decided to drink some beers, and soon I found myself lost in casual conversations of my own with other people.

It was then I noticed, Steppenwolf and Janie were gone. I looked around quickly, but I could not spot them. I got up from the table and walked inside the crowded bar. After some quick recon, I located my targets.

They were deep in a hushed conversation back by the bathrooms, which were hidden from plain view. I walked up to them and as I stood beside Janie, I crossed my arms and faced Steppenwolf.

Their conversation abruptly stopped, and Steppenwolf shot me a sideways glance as he leaned on the wall. He walked away without another word, and I asked Janie about what I had seemingly interrupted.

“He’s just having an issue with another co-worker, and he was talking to me about it,” she said.

Soon after that night, the Bill events happened.

It was August now, and as Summer was winding down, Janie and I found ourselves in a shattered state.

But were we beyond repair?

The night before Labor Day Sunday, Janie and I decided to go to Hersheypark. It had always been a nice spot for us and the boys, but on this night, it was just us two.

Night had fallen, and the park was clearing out. There weren’t too many people left, and as we walked side by side, I noticed the continued silence between us.

“You ok?” I asked.

“Yeah, I just want to know that you’re ok,” she replied.

“I am if you are.”

The sunset that night, and the emptiness around us, was too eerie for me to ignore. It was symbolic of our love story.

----

The next day, we had a Labor Day cookout planned at our home. Close to the start time, Janie and I walked over to her mom’s house to get some bug spray.

My sister had requested some, and Janie found this as a reason to angrily march off across the street to accomodate my family.

“What is your problem?” I asked her as I followed behind her.

“Nothing, Michael, nothing,” she said.

We both returned to our house and our guests arrived. The cookout got started, and things started off normally enough.

Janie guzzled down alcoholic beverages, and she kept asking her step-dad to admit that she was his princess.

I played corn hole with some of the other guests, but predictably, things took a turn for the worst as night fell.

My father had taken my nephews to a local carnival that night, and he dropped them off at our house because my sister was attending our cookout. However, my father wanted to make a quick job of dropping them off, as his dog had been at home for hours without a bathroom break.

I stood out front with my sister as we casually chatted with our father, and then he got back in his car and drove off.

Janie, however, took great offense to this gesture. He had not come back to the party in the back yard to say hello, and she decided that she had an issue with this.

I picked up on this when I returned to the back yard, and Janie stood amongst the party guests glaring at me.

When I watched her walk in the house, I seized my opportunity to follow her inside and find out what was wrong.

“Hey,” I said as I slid the door closed behind me. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing is ever good enough, is it?” she asked.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Your dad, after all these years, still hates me,” she said. “What the fuck are we even doing?” she asked savagely.

Kelly came inside at that moment, and she saw our confrontation.

“Guys, don’t fight,” she said.

“I’m not fighting!” I said, my temper soaring. “She’s picking another fight with me!”

At those words, Janie scoffed and ran upstairs. When she came back down, she had another overnight bag slung from her shoulder.

The second one I had seen in a month. The third one I had seen in a year.

“And where are you going?” I asked.

“Janie, don’t leave,” Kelly begged.

Janie only wanted to talk to Kelly, but I barreled on, demanding to know where Janie was leaving to go this time.

Janie asked where the Lancer keys were, but I wasn’t about to let that happen.

“You aren’t taking the Lancer,” I said. “You’ve been drinking, and you’re not totaling my car.”

Janie didn’t scream back, though.

As our guests continued enjoying themselves in our back yard, Janie quietly left out the front door. I watched her from the door step as she disappeared into the night, one more time.

There was nothing for it. She was looking for a reason all along.

And I was tired of stopping her.

I was tired of trying.

But seeing her walk away never got easier.

I returned to the back yard, and though some people were aware what had happened, others didn't mind. Janie’s step-dad chatted merrily with our landlord, taking swigs of beer. I wasn’t about to spoil their time.

I walked up to my grandmother and uncle, and I quietly let them know what had happened. I walked them to their car, feeling bad at the failure I had become.

“Well,” my grandmother said. “You’ll have this. And remember what I said, you have a home with me.”

I thanked her and my uncle for coming, and after they drove away, I never felt more alone. Most of the guests had departed, but a few stayed. I walked around my empty home, wondering what to do. I decided to go to bed.

Of course, i didn't sleep at all.

Our Boston Terrier curled up next to me in bed as I listened to Linkin Park’s “Burn It Down” on my iPod.

The cycle repeated As explosions broke in the sky All that I needed Was the one thing I couldn’t find...

I got up several times that night, looking out the window and hoping to see her return. Instead, I remember seeing our landlord and a few of Janie’s family members sitting around our bonfire, still burning brightly.

After a brief stints of sleep and constant exhaustion, morning came.

The sky was full of clouds, and the air was humid and muggy. I walked around our house, seeing the mess in the back yard and the piles of dishes on the kitchen counter.

I was all alone.

I started cleaning up, trying to take my mind off of the situation at hand.

Had Bill re-entered the arena? Or was she with someone else?

I told myself I wouldn’t call, but we were past that point. Enough was enough. I picked up my phone and dialed her number, and it went right to voicemail. I said the only thing I could say;

“I’m not calling to find out where you are or who you’re with. I’m only asking you, out of respect for our time together and the home of those two little boys, to tell me what’s going on?”

I hung up and continued cleaning up the mess.

After a half hour, I called again.

“You don’t understand how serious this is, I need you to tell me what’s going on. Nothing else. Just tell me where things stand,” I spoke.

I hung up my phone.

Then, she called back.

I walked out into the back yard as I answered her call.

“Hey,” I said.

“I’m done,” she said softly. “We fight all the time. Things haven’t been right. We’re toxic,” she spoke. “I’m done.”

“Are you with Steppenwolf?” I asked.

“...yeah, but I slept on his couch,” she said.

Our conversation didn’t last long. What was there left to say?

I packed a few things in a hurry.

I was going home.

As I loaded some things into my car, I saw Janie’s mom sitting on her back porch. I shut my car door after putting my things inside the car and walked across the street.

“Hey,” I said.

“I’m sorry, Ekim,” her mom said. “I don’t know why she’s doing this. I didn’t raise her that way,” Janie’s mom spoke. “I can’t go against her, she’s all I have. She’s my baby,” her mom pleaded.

“I know. She’s with Steppenwolf,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, I heard. I don’t know why she’s doing this.”

---

Walking through my grandmother’s front door was less than ceremonious, but there are places throughout you’re life where you feel safe.

This was one of them.

My uncle had since moved in with her since I had moved out 5 years earlier, and he had my old room. But I didn’t care. I was eager to have any place to call home, and in turn, I moved whatever I had with me into a smaller upstairs bedroom.

It was my room when I was 14 years old before I moved to a bigger room. Since I had moved out of it, it had become a storage room for miscellaneous items and holiday decorations.

The bed mattress was gone, but the box spring was still there. I draped a few blankets on the top until I figured something else out in terms of a bed.

It would have to do for now, like everything else.

That day, I didn’t plan on staying idle and letting my imagination tear me to pieces.

There would be no sleep, no rest, and no peace.

So I might as well stay busy.

I decided to accompany some friends to a back yard cookout, and I needed to take several breaks away from the party to vent to my buddy’s girlfriend.

I was inconsolable. I couldn’t think of anything else.

Luckily, she was understanding and listened patiently while I spilled my guts several times that day.

My life was in pieces, and my marriage was over.

That night, they invited me back to their place to hang out.

I sat beside my one friend on their love seat as they watched the newest episode of the show, Breaking Bad.

I sat next to him and odd as it sounds, just not being alone made my eyes heavy.

36 hours of no sleep was catching up to me.

My head slumped over as I fell asleep, but I couldn’t fall into too deep of a sleep state.

Night was falling outside, and my vicious imagination was going to punish me for not giving it a chance to torture me all day.

I sat there, my head slumped on my buddy’s shoulder as I heard a song coming from the TV. It’s a song called “Crystal Blue Persuasion”, and it was playing on the episode of Breaking Bad. My imagination played a perverse slideshow for me as the melody filled my ears.

I missed her. I just wanted to be next to her.

And he had her.

The music from the TV played as the images in my head haunted me, my stomach turning...

“Look over yonder, what do you see?”

They start kissing in Steppenwolf’s living room, knowing they have the entire night together...

“The sun is a-risen, most definitely.”

They wander through Steppenwolf’s house toward his bedroom...

“A new day is coming, people are changing,”

They reach his bedroom and lay on his bed...

“Ain’t it beautiful? Crystal blue persuasion.”

The light goes out.

But for me, it was far from over.

Broken, but not beyond repair.

We weren’t finished yet.

“My secrets are buried now From my heart and my bones catch a fever When it cuts you up this deep It's hard to find a way to breathe

Your eyes are swallowing me Mirrors start to whisper Shadows start to see My skin's smothering me Help me find a way to breathe.”

Bring Me the Horizon “Sleepwalking”

NOTE: Though this is my side of the story, including my own personal recollections and opinions, the reader should not consider this note anything other than a work of literature. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

#dating #relationships #depression #breakups #relationship advice #divorce #marriage #mental health #suicide #begin again #new beginnings #taylor swift #never #forever #love #hate #papa roach

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lettingmydreamsspeak · 4 years

Text

The Heart Knows Best: Part II

Summary: After their brief encounter in the park, both Y/n and Chris struggle to figure out what they are feeling. This is a continuation of The Heart Knows Best: Part I

Pairing: Chris Evans x Female Reader

Warnings: None

Word count: approx. 1800

A/N: Thank again to all that read part one! I was feeling inspired by a song for part two. If you haven’t heard “I Don’t Wanna Know” by GOLDHOUSE & Mokita, have a listen to it, as it plays an important part in the story. Again, I am open to any feedback. I hope you enjoy Part II!

************************************************************************

Your eyes slowly open to the view of the umbrella propped up in the corner. It hasn’t moved since you placed it there to dry the day before. It’s as if it is haunting you. Images flashed in your mind of the rain drops that fell upon his head and slowly trailed down his face, before he put his hood up. Even though the skies darkened, his blue eyes still hypnotized you. As your hand touched his, the electricity that flowed through your body, causing your heart to skip. This is a feeling that you won’t forget any time soon. It didn’t haunt you, it invigorated you.

You could re-live every moment. It’s like a movie replaying through your mind, scene for scene unedited. On any given day you could barely remember what you ate for breakfast, so how was it you could recall every detail from a brief encounter in the park?

“So y/n, you aren’t going to let this infiltrate your life, are you?”

As you laid there staring down that umbrella, your phone kept exploding with notifications steadily rolling in. Your closest friend back home seemingly bombarded your message box, dying to know what has happened to you. It wasn’t until late last night that you had finally messaged her to simply say that you met Chris. Not one more detail was given before you fell asleep, hence the outpouring of concern and genuine intrigue that flooded your notifications. You hesitated to look at the phone, as you really couldn’t put off responding much longer. The phone buzzed yet again. It was time to make the call.

“Please god, tell me you got his number” were the first words out of Haley’s mouth when she answered the call.

“Good morning to you too! And no, I did not get his number. I just own his umbrella now. It will be my lasting memento of the occasion.” You took a picture of the umbrella and sent it to her.

“So what are you going to do about this then?”

“I’m so confused and overwhelmed right now, so most likely nothing! It seems like a great idea to me.”

Haley knew that she needed to push you. You were timid at times, and if it weren’t for Haley, there are some things that would not have happened in your life if she didn’t push you. Going on vacation to New York alone was one of those things.

“Are you going to regret that decision? If you tell me no, you better have a good reason!”

“The answer is no and it is because I come home tonight. There isn��t a better reason. End of discussion.”

“This is not the end of this discussion. I am going to give you some words of advice. You can take it or you can leave it.”

You sat there in silence as you knew you are about hear the advice you should probably take, yet dreaded.

“Age will never be a factor, but you are about to turn 35 and you have big dreams still. Probably bigger dreams than most kids. How much longer do you want these dreams to just be dreams? I’m not expecting you to answer right now, because I have more to say. You are still there, right?”

“I am still here…” as you hold back tears and a shaky voice. You didn’t want her to know your current state of being.

“Okay good. I know you are leaving and the chances of even finding him again are near impossible. I’m not saying that you have to go out and find him, I just don’t want you to give up. Or at least if you do give up, can you do it with little to no regrets?”

“Okay…” you said in hesitance as you wiped away the last of the tears rolling down your cheek.

“I’ll let you go as I know it is you last day, but promise me that starting now, you won’t live with regret?”

“I’ll try my best, fairy godmother!”

“Good! I love ya Y/n! Text me when you get home.”

“Love you too, Hales. Bye!”

As you ended the call, you threw the phone across the bed in frustration. The frustration was with yourself. You felt that you could have handled everything better yesterday. How long could you let this regret linger?

************************************************************************

“Good morning sunshine!”

“Morning Scott.”

“Where are you at? I thought you were coming home last night. Wait a sec…did you hook up with someone?”

“NO! I just needed to finish up some things in the city before heading back. It took a little longer than I expected.” This response to Scott seemed a little less enthusiastic than usual, but Chris wasn’t feeling it this morning.

“Yah, okay…..was there a girl involved in this finishing up things?”

There was silence.

“Are you cutting out, Chris? Can you hear me?”

The silence was strong, as if his connection was cutting out. Instead it was just Chris lost in his thoughts, as images of Y/n ran through his mind.

“HELLLLOOO. Earth to Chris. I really hope you didn’t crash the vehicle.” Scott was growing concerned for his brother.

“Sorry, I am here. I can hear you loud and clear. I kind of got lost in my thoughts. I’m feeling a little off today. Can we chat when I get home?”

Chris was nowhere near ready to chat with his brother and knew that when he arrived home, he didn’t really want to be alone in his thoughts for much longer.

“Sure. By the sounds of it, do you want me to make sure that the beer is fully stocked in your fridge?”

“Maybe check how my whiskey supply is holding up. I might need something stronger.”

“This must be serious. Can you tell me one thing…you aren’t dying are you?”

Even though Scott couldn’t see it, Chris had finally cracked a smile as he let out a brief laugh.

“Don’t worry, I am not dying. To reassure you even more, it is nothing bad…I promise.”

“Okay, good! I’ll see you when you get home then. Later bro.”

“See ya soon.”

Chris was thankful for the close relationship he had with his brother. They are each other’s sounding board when life throws them curve balls. Y/n was the latest curve ball in Chris’ life and he wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. How is it that an encounter that he had while out for a morning run, could impact his life so much? After he parted ways with Y/n, he replayed every single moment with her. He questioned what he could have done differently. ‘What if’ was the phase of the past 24 hours. Knowing that he needed to drown out his own thoughts, he quickly turned on some music as loud as his ears could handle. A little car dance and sing along never hurt a guy, especially when he knew he had three more hours till he made it home. Just then he started to question his choice of listening to music.

“You looked into my eyes

Your face I memorized

Didn’t say a word but you felt like home”

“Seriously?” he asked himself as he turned the music off as quick as he turned it on, throwing his head back in defeat. “This is going to be a long drive.”

************************************************************************

“Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight 549 to Vancouver. We are expected to land in approximately 5 hours. Please sit back and enjoy the flight.”

Looking down at your phone and earbuds, you felt a little disappointed that this trip was already done. Manhattan was now out of view from your window seat. You felt even more disappointed when you thought about Chris and the ‘what if’s’ you were leaving behind in that city. It was time to get home though. You had needed a vacation from your vacation. Lucky for you, you sleep well while on the plane, so you would have time to rest up. So long as you had your music to drown out all that was going on around you, things would be fine. With the earbuds in place and the music starting up. The words of the song hit you…

“You looked into my eyes

Your face I memorized

Didn’t say a word but you felt like home”

“Well isn’t that just perfect. Even the music knows how I feel right now.”

“Sorry, were you saying something?” the stranger next to you in the middle seat politely asked.

This question brought you out of a slight daze as you realized you were probably shouting with the earbuds still in your ears. You quickly pull them out, so you didn’t yell at the stranger.

“I am so sorry, I must have said aloud what I was thinking. I apologize.” In embarrassment, you put your headphones back in and curled up against the window, wishing you were invisible as you mumbled under your breath...

“This is going to be a long flight.”

************************************************************************

As Chris parked his vehicle on the front drive, he was greeted by Scott, who was holding two glasses of whiskey on the rocks.

“Welcome home, bro.”

“What are you gonna drink?” as Chris jokingly takes both glasses of whiskey after dropping his luggage on the front step.

“You weren’t lying when you said you might need something stronger.” as he took one glass back from Chris and took a sip from it. “I might need something strong too.”

The brothers both laughed as they entered into Chris’ house, dropping his things off by the staircase, and heading straight to the back deck where they found a spot to sit and chat. Not quite sure who should break the ice to discuss what was going on with Chris, they both sat in silence for a bit, looking out over the yard. The levels of whiskey in both their glasses had gone down significantly, in the short amount of time that they sat there. Scott knew that he shouldn’t pry, so he gave Chris the time to process what he was going to say. He knew his brother well enough to know that this was not going to be a short conversation. The silence did’t last much longer as Chris finished up his drink and the left over ice clinked on the wall of the glass, as he set it down on the table. Sitting back in the chair. he let out a sigh, signaling to Scott that he was ready to talk.

“Her name was...and I guess still is, Y/n”

To be continued...in Part III

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans #chris evans imagine #agirlcandream

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wolfwhiteflowers · 4 years

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I found this on twitter and wanted (try) to answer them here instead. :B Great questions! thanks. @LM_Nocass twitter.com/LM_Nocass/ status/1292935841258647553

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𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥/𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥/𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 (𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲); 2:28 PM · Aug 10, 2020 --------------@LM_Nocass

1. Which part of herself does Carol see in Daryl? ||um same brokenness past and seeing that there’s good parts in him. He’s not like Merle and Ed. 2. Which part of himself does Daryl see in Carol? ||They both know what it’s like to be abused and have an understanding. He sees strength in her. /...I think they slowly start to think they’re not alone on feeling like the odd one out or fighting to live before Apoc. They eventually think they’re a lot alike and connected right away. s1-s2. I guess they both started to grow at the same time and look after each other’s back ever since.

3. If there was no za and they met each other, would they be so close? Why? ||Yeah I think so. But not so close or “early” on. Probably lil glimpse of like oh they’re alike and good people. But other things in the way...like Carol or Daryl be stuck in bad situations and die or something. Y’kno Daryl would’ve been like “mini Merle” or like.... dead from stopping a fight or prison. Carol could just be dead or lost herself from being with Ed. ...Unless they got away from their abusers :) I can see there’s a chance of them getting close. *”mini Merle” I think I got this phrase wrong. Mini Merle is Merle’s hand weapon thing. I meant that Daryl would have become more damaged,lost, and be similar to Merle then. ..like a younger Merle.

4. How do you think, Alexandria's ppl ship them or they don’t care? Why? || BTW, I think of what the writers want or had in mind.. Anyway, when Rlchonne happened or Abe and Sasha went canon, it just seems like very neutral whatever way. Well I guess the show isn’t that .. charactery and romantic. -_- Anyway, I think they care and are supportive and of all Team family but mind their business. I think practically everyone knows about Caryl and their close relationship. I guess they’re like in the same boat as us or general fans. We would be happy if they get together but if not then like ....hmm you guys are so together~ Um..I guess people would be going WTF if Caryl grew apart.

5. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to believe in supernatural stuff? Why? || they both seem to be into that. erm I’ll say Daryl.

6. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to send a lot of Red heartFace throwing a kissSmiling face with heart-shaped eyes and etc? Why? || Carol is more open to display of affection. But Daryl got his heart on his sleeves. He’s straightforward tells/show you how he feels and means it.

13. What would do today's Carol if she met someone like Ed? ||Probably she be able to stand up to him when he starts to be controlling and she speak out and say it’s not right. Idk..maybe them talking it out will make Ed change himself if he wants to. And she walks away from him early on. 14. If today's Carol met past Carol, what would she say to her? ||You’re stronger than you think you are. You are enough. These hard times made her wiser in Apoc./life. She’s always a mother..when they’re gone, they’re still with her. 15. If today's Daryl met past Daryl, what would he say to him? ||This doesn’t always have to be this way/Merle-life. You’re not alone. Good people will stick with you. Trust them. Your goodness matters. You don’t need to depend on Merle. If Merle wouldn’t change now then he won’t later on. Idk... Daryl is so loyal and to his brother. So it’s just he gotta let Merle/his past go. 16. Why does Daryl prefer the crossbow, not a bow? ||I guess that’s what hunters like to use most often. Idk. 17. AU: real life. Which one of them is most likely to surfing in the Internet for hours? Why? ||Carol because she mentioned internet in s4. lol Okay um yeah Carol I guess. I think she likes to research on things. Daryl is more outdoorsy kind of person. 18. AU: real life. Which one of them will have a private acc on social medias and who won’t care? ||I think both would be private...or heck Daryl not private but barely any content. lol Just hunting, nature stuff and games.

19. AU: real life. Which one of them will send memes? ||Carol because she like goofy or sassy jokes.

20. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Carol? Why? ||hmm housewife, teacher, nurse, or something to look after the community.. She likes to cook but Idk if she likes to do it often. Some job to care about the people and place.

21. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Daryl? Why? ||A hunter, mechanic, or construction worker. Something like hands-on job.

22. Which of them has a black sense of humor? ||I think Carol have a dark/black sense of humor. Daryl is ..more less humor-y. more sarcastic. idk what im saying.

23. Had Daryl ever thought about having children? If he did, he would prefer boy or daughter? ||I think he never really thought of it till he’s away from Merle/past life. But Idk I think he doesn’t really think on it. He just wants to protect all kids. He’s Uncle Daryl. I don’t think he has a preference.

24. Is Daryl asexual or demisexual? Or other? Why? ||Read ? #10. I say so far it seems like he’s demisexual from what Kang said and from what people/fandom been always questioning him from the show and from that 6 years in woods plot. (Also the show isn’t that showy on romance and relationships so I didn’t think they would bother to address his romance/sexuality but they did so ok.) I guess I always think of him as demisexual...or someone who would be friends to lovers kind of person. He’s the closest with Carol so..slowburn to canon, yeah? /// This makes me think of Carol’s relationships and how she is fine having sex anytime ..no emotions involved way...She doesn’t really have or know a good emotional canon relationship except almost with Zeke, I guess. 25. Carol’s fav movie genre(s)? ||Romcoms <3

26. Daryl’s fav movie genre(s)? ||action / horror :O 27. When the show ends, what kind of ending do you want for them? ||I want good writing and that flows right. Caryl be Caryl. I guess them riding off to the sunset to New Mexico. Or..looking after team family in ASZ or TF working together to find/help Rick and living their best lives in a community. A happy ending pls. 28. Which one of them is good at math? ||hmm Carol. Daryl would be good at reading..science.

29. If there was Caryl movie, what song(s) would you add to it? || hmm a song to add, I would pick ..”You and Me” by Pink I think. Or, “X and Y” by Coldplay. Or, “Cosmic Love” by Florence Machine. 30. Did Daryl help you? ||I really appreciate the writers and the acting did with Daryl and Carol. They’re really unique, interesting and relatable characters. Daryl helped me to keep being myself and do what’s right even when you feel odd ball out. Idk I also like that we see characters like Daryl and Carol what we stereotypical think they may be like in s1 but then we see they’re relatable and we can be more open minded to other people. I liked that we see him getting a chance to grow and see how loyal he is. 31. Did Carol help you? ||Yeah. I really like how she’s like I guess most people in s1, quiet, timid, not quite fit into the Apoc. world, but learns to trust herself, get braver and open up. She’s like so strong and brave now but it’s not surprising to see that in a way because we see her character development and I like how writers and acting, made it so relatable and realistic to me. We all can be like Carol. //I think she’s a great character to watch for mothers who lost kids or was a abused wife/person. Same with Daryl as a abused child/brother in that Merle’s lifestyle.

32. What did Caryl give you? Hope? Strength? ||I really like what became Caryl in the show for years. They became one of my fave ships. They’re unique and I love that we see their strong bond and connection. They’re soulmatey and angsty. Idk I feel like they gave hope that there are people that will get you and have your back. And strength, they grown so much and made me think about myself to keep facing my fears and be in a healthy relationship. 33. Carol’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country pop. Idk.. I think McReedus are into Rock music so. 34. Daryl’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country rock. ...Idk Metal music.

35. Describe Carol in one word. ||Brave

36. Describe Daryl in one word. ||Loyal or uh a word that means does what he think is the right thing to do...and caring. Uncle.

37. What do you expect from them in season 11? ||Idk I’m really clueless. TWD right now is really not by the comics anymore and it’s hard to speculate now. I’m kinda hoping they have something a plot that relates to taking care of the Grimes kids and a plot/s that relates to Rick’s journey/TWD show. Idk well I guess they be figuring it out what to do with Maggie and politics with the ..spoiler- new communities.

I hope for good writing and if they go canon, I hope they write good relationship/romance writing. As in they don’t separate them and break up a bunch of times or be boring. eek. I hope it’s like they still be like the subtle canon ship..like RIchonne as there is something else they have to do together. Like they be canon but they talk about the new plots/problems/family in s11 and their relationship grows.

38. Your favorite Caryl season(s)? Why? ||It’s season 2 or s10. I feel it’s the most Caryl interaction and them deepening their relationship. 39. When do you think Daryl was ready to start a relationship? Or do you still think he isn't ready? Or he is ready rn? ||Whenever the writers are ready. :\ I think as a character he’s ready...yeah especially s10. He’s not hiding and being emo in the woods in s9. He’s not the (Rick’s)sidekick character anymore. He’s I think grown a lot by being with people and opening up being a leader-like now, domestic?,leading character, and I think he’s now more ready to have romantic relationship if he wants to. And for Carol ..rn is like does she feel worthy or ok to have love again. ooh angst. 40. Which of them is owl, and which of them is lark? Why? || I think Daryl is a lark/early bird because he likes the quietness and time to hunt, and Carol is a night owl because she likes to know what else is going on when it’s the dark.

#caryl #caryl positivity #*twd #2nd time posting this but no link added..

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kinghoranshit · 3 years

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Middle of the Night (1D) Ch 2

Word Count: 1,555

I ran a hand through my hair with a sigh and walked out into the main cabin of the bus. The guys ate pizza as they lounged in the dining booth. The boys stopped and stared at me, jaws wide open. What? Good one, Izzie. Ask it aloud this time.

I cleared my throat. “What?”

I noticed Liam shift uncomfortably in his seat and it looked like he was trying to cover something up. My eyes went wide. It didn’t take a lot now to realize what was going on. I had plenty of experience with this. I knew I was not alone in my apartment, so my normal pjs of an oversized tee and boyshorts were probably not the best option. But we were all friends, I had no interest in any of them, and half of them were taken so this shouldn’t be a big deal. Most of all, I hadn’t thought to pack other pjs. I guess we’d have to stop somewhere so I could buy more proper ones.

I made a low whistle. “Sorry guys, I don’t have any other pjs.”

Louis shot up from where he was sitting, fast, and went into the back bunks. He came back with a pair of joggers and tossed them to me. “Wear these for tonight, love.”

“I would ask if you’re joking, but I know you’re not,” I replied with a smirk. I tugged the black sweatpants on right there, then flopped down beside Louis.

I reached out to grab a slice, took a bite, and internally cringed. But I smacked my lips dramatically. “Mmm, good pizza.”

My mind trailed to what I needed to do later. It wouldn’t be too hard to escape out, but the finding of food would be the real test. A rat or something would be better than nothing.

Harry snorted. “What movie should we watch before sleep?”

“Insidious two,” Niall answered deviously.

I’ve seen a lot of scary things. I was considered a scary creature. Yet, I still did not like scary movies, especially demons taking over humans. Which I knew was ironic.

I couldn’t stop the look I shot him.

Louis wrapped an arm around my shoulders and gave a couple pats. “You can hide your face in one of our chests, don’t worry.”

“Y’all wish… Please pick something else.” I lightly shoved his hand off. I didn’t have the patience for it.

“Nope.” Niall stuffed the last of the crust into his mouth before he stood.

I groaned. There was no getting out of it. That was clear. I was going to have to put my big girl fangs on and suck it up.

***

My eyes were glued to the screen even though I wanted to look away. I was snuggled up next to Niall, his arm around my shoulders, and a blanket covered us. It was now I closed my eyes tightly and hid my face in his chest. This was the last thing I needed to watch before I slipped out into the night and possibly fed. I was probably the wimpiest vampire ever in those regards.

I stayed like that until I heard someone whisper, “The movie’s over.”

I peeked one eye open to look at the TV screen, it was turned off. I sat up straight and realized we were the only two out here.

“They all went to get ready for bed,” Niall filled in.

I mouthed an ‘oh’ with a slow nod. I gestured towards the back. “You should probably go do that.”

He smirked. “No need, I don’t sleep with anything on.”

I rolled my eyes. “So I can’t wear the oversized shirt, but you can wear nothing? That’s a lousy double standard.”

“In all honesty, we didn’t think girls slept like that.”

“Women like to be comfortable too.”

He chuckled. “Touche.”

I stood, leaving the safety of his arms and the blanket we snuggled under. “I’m going to bed.” But really, it was a ploy of hope they’d follow in suit.

Louis snickered as he walked back out in a pair of Adidas shorts and a loose tank. “So soon?”

I raised my brows. “I’m surprised you’re not with the day you have tomorrow. I’m not even doing half of what you are and I’m already feeling the energy being drained from me at the thought of-”

“I was only teasing, we’re all going to bed soon,” he replied.

“Right, then goodnight.”

I squeezed my way past the other three to find my bunk. Once I was under the covers and bundled, I shifted myself to face the wall. It was easier to pretend to sleep if they couldn’t see my face.

Eventually, I heard all the others climb into their own bunks and the light was shut off, and now the area was illuminated by the emergency light strips. All my senses shifted to my hearing and focused on the boys’ breathing patterns. It was easy to tell when someone was actually sleeping by their breathing and heart rate; slow and steady was what I wanted. Once I knew they were out, I tiptoed outside.

The hope to not have to fly was low. Being in the suburbs did not lend the luxury of a lot of animals. I sniffed the air for something. Anything. I caught the scent of a deer. About twenty miles North from here. There must be small woods. I bent my knees a bit to give leverage and pushed off to fly.

I followed the scent all the way up till the edge of the woods. My feet planted on the dirt floor and I searched around. The deer hid a couple trees over from me. I tiptoed over to hide behind a tree and check it out. There was a low growl and I noticed the bobcat in the distance, it’s eyes set on my meal. Fuck this. I sniffed it out first. I guess I’d have to feed on the bobcat instead since it would never back down. Plus, I’d rather let the deer live than this predator.

My eyes narrowed on the bobcat that stalked toward my old meal, who didn’t seem to notice it. I lengthened my fangs and took an attentive step forward, which revealed me. The bobcat noticed and hissed at me, showing its fangs.

I snickered. “I have fangs of my own.”

I charged at the bobcat and tackled it to the ground. It fought against me, hard, by wiggling its body. It forced me to double down on my hold, using up any strength I had left. I opened up the neck by setting one of my hands under it’s jawline then I sunk my fangs into it- a dying growl leaving it for a moment. Now the sounds of my gulps were present. Then warm, metallic ran down my throat and slowly I could feel my body getting stronger again. The control of every cell returned. It didn’t feel like I was walking on pins anymore.

Once I finished, I retracted my fangs and wiped my face off. I drug the bobcat and stuffed it into an empty log, then I took some brush rubble and covered it up. I brushed off any evidence that I would lead someone to believe I’d been in the woods before I flew back to the bus.

I snuck back inside, going straight for the bathroom to clean off the dirt I couldn’t wipe off, and took my contacts now since I didn’t need them anymore. But when I took them out, my eyes were still red.

“This is… bad,” I mumbled.

Vampires were not created to survive only on animal blood. We could get away with it for a few centuries. But eventually our bodies needed the nutrients that only could come from humans. This worried me immensely. There was the chance of going ripper again; it was a completely different person. I couldn’t control them. I couldn’t just wear the contacts for eternity and pretend. The wait would only make it worse.

I let out a low breath and put my contacts back in for now. I’d figure out a way to get human blood without hurting a person. I climbed back into my bed and heard Harry stir, which made my breath hitch in the back of my throat. I waited a few, hesitant seconds before he rolled to face his wall. A low breath left me and I completely pulled myself under the covers.

“Where did you go?” someone mumbled tiredly.

Shit. I looked across the small hall at Louis; his bunk was on the opposite side of me.

“Just had to use the loo,” I answered, the british slipped out. The loo? I really hated myself right now.

There was a moment of interest flickering in his pupils, then he licked his lips and snuggled more under his covers. “Okay,” he muffled into his pillow.

Not even a full 24 hours and I almost blew my cover. It was easier to be a loner when I was who I was. Yet, that was a miserable life. Trust me, I tried for centuries. The connection of relationships made this sentence less horrible. Once I had human blood, hopefully without the demon inside of me taking over, I’d be able to hide myself.

Next: Ch 3 (to come...)

[Masterlist]

#Middle of the Night #1D #1D fic #1D fanfiction #fic #fanfiction #vampire #supernatural #niall horan #Louis tomlinson #harry styles #liam payne #one direction

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bisexy-legend · 5 years

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Okay, I've spent the last 24 hours reading a book called "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" I don't know if it's famous on Tumblr or anything but I just felt the need to come here and talk about it and maybe introduce this book to more people.

First thing first I have to say that even though I discovered it just two day ago it's already one of my favorite books ever, I'm gonna start with a spoiler free review:

When I started it I knew I liked the concept, a Hollywood star searching for a journalist who had no relevance whatsoever and wanting to talk to her and only her about her life and hidden secrets, when Evelyn started to talk about her life I knew I liked the way the book was been written, how easy it was to see all the things Evelyn was describing, how complex every character was getting with every chapter and by the time her story was over I was completely in love with most of them, with how complex and full os nuances the author made them. It's intriguing how we already know or think we know how it ends but then it takes a completely different turn and to be honest by the end I really wished Evelyn Hugo was a real person and that I could talk to her.

From now on there will be spoilers so if you didn't read it and want to do so without spoilers stop here

I have to say I already knew there would be a lgbt story in the book, cause the indication of it came from a thread in which there were only books with Queer characters but also I had no idea that it would be as impacting for me as it turned out to be.

As a bisexual woman myself I was truly in love when Monique asks if Evelyn is coming out as gay woman cause she told her she was in love with Celia and Evelyn tells Monique that she's bisexual, that she loved both men and women and that Monique shouldn't ignore half of her just to put her in a box, the feeling of being ignored just so people can understand you easily is real.

I also loved how her bisexuality was never ignored she loved Celia her whole life, but she loved men too, and not for once she fit the "bisexuals are greedy" stereotype, yes she had sex with guys when she was with Celia, but it was shown as a characteristic of her, she didn't do it because she was bi, she did it because for her it was something that needed be done, either to keep their secrets or to have a baby without raising questions about their secrets.

One other point I really loved was the "multiple soulmates" thing, Celia was her soulmate, the love of her life, but Harry was her best friend, also her soulmate but in such a different way, when I started the book I never, not for a second, thought that their relationship would be so pure and that I would ended up loving Harry and the way he was so kind to her her whole life.

Celia St. James gained my heart the very first time she appeared, I loved how honest she was with Evelyn, how Evelyn who didn't trust a living soul ended up trusting her and their relationship was built with so many layers since the beginning, Celia was not a pure angel, she was just as complex as any other character in this book, I loved how idealistic she was, how she wanted to go to the Stonewall riots, how she never wanted to hide who she was, how when things got too much she actually left Evelyn, it broke my heart, but I also understood her choices, Celia loved Evelyn her whole life too, she was sometimes scared with Evelyn being bisexual, which also broke my heart but in the end when she says "we are gay" and then corrects herself with "I'm gay and you are bisexual", honestly I would read another book just with her and Evelyns stories, and if I could make one single change in the book would be the years they lost being apart, I cried my eyeballs out when they talk about it.

Then there's Evelyn Hugo who honestly is one of the most beautifully written characters I ever read, she was shown as a real person, not a good or bad person, she was a real person dealing with choices, some she got right, some she didn't, she's not type of protagonist I was aused to, she is not a silly girl who didn't understood the things she did, she knew what she wanted she went after it, she never say she was sorry, I didn't like her very much in the beginning maybe cause that is not the kind of female characters we are "supposed to love" but oh god did Evelyn Hugo conquered my heart fast, as a young girl conquering Hollywood or as a old woman advising Monique, I loved every part of her character, sure she made a lot of bad choices, she wasn't inocent person or as she said herself "a good person", but I understood her, I respected her so much, and to be honest, if she was a real person I would like to sit down and talk to her about everything.

Evelyn and Celia's relationship was my favorite surprise, I didn't think it would go as they did, I cried when they got married in their bed cause I knew what would happen next, the book never for once tried to deceive the reader, everyone Evelyn loved was dead, so it was a matter of time, but it was more heartbreaking than I anticipated, I loved how soft Evelyn was with Celia, how she kept the soft only for her, how even with the many tribulations I thought till the very end that their love was one of the most pure things I ever read, how they trade little messages in their Oscar acceptance speechs and how they loved each other even when they hadn't seen each other for years, how all they want to be able to live like a normal couple, I thought of how many people back then had to go through the same thing as they did, how many are going through it now, and my heart was even more broken.

I must say that I searched for every possible connection between Evelyn and Monique, and when the accident was mentioned I knew what was the big secret, but it wasn't less shocking when Evelyn said it to her, I was pleased surprised when she said that she did it for Monique to know how much she was loved, this and the letter I did not see coming, during the book I thought what part would Monique chose to put in the article, but I never thought she would put that Evelyn loved Celia and yet it felt so incredibly fit, she honored Evelyn even though she was still mad at her, as she said Evelyn loved Celia and that was the most real thing in her life, she had seven husbands and that was widely known but the thing she valuable the most was her wife.

I maybe liked this book way too much, maybe I saw a little bit of myself in every character, in the way Evelyn tried to hide who she was, in Celia want to be with the woman she loved consequences be damned, in the way Harry was realistic about the whole thing, this is definitely a must read for everyone, I'm not quite over it yet, I wrote this long ass post about it and I haven't even said all my thoughts about it, to me this book was precious and I loved the experience it gave me, I ended it crying like a baby but also, very satisfied with how it ended and just wanting badly that it ended up becoming a movie someday but without changing anything, not one single line, I don't know if anyone will ever come to the end of this post but if you do, please share with me your thoughts about this book, it wasn't been officially translated to Portuguese so I don't know anyone who read it, and I can't introduce it to most of my friends cause they don't speak or understand English and I could really use a friend to vent out about this book.

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agrassinthebeginning · 5 years

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They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day.

From Adam Silvera's official website Skip to the end of this post for the trigger warnings.

After reading my last book over the course of three days I was kinda worried the next pick would be tough. I considered the books in my library, the most recent birthday + Christmas loot versus the been-here-so-long-what-are-you-waiting-for books, and vaguely glanced over a started-this-one-three-years-ago-what-happened (I might have to go back to this one some time this year. I'll keep you posted).

Making choices is hard for me (understatement) and that's probably part of the reasons why I don't read as much as I'd like. Reading one book means I'm missing out on reading another; apply that logic to any other area of my life and you get a fair picture of my neurosis. I switched to my ebooks list because somehow digital words are less scary than printed ones and had already given up on any title possibly triggering a spark of interest until my brain went to a full stop and whispered: this one. They Both Die at the End tells the story of a world about exactly like ours except for the fact that everyday between midnight and 3am, thousands of people get a phone call telling them that today is the day they are going to die. They don't know why or how or when exactly they will die but they definitely have less than 24 hours to live and what they're doing with that knowledge and with that time, well, it's entirely up to them. How freaking terrifying.

Something that might be worth mentioning if you don't know me personally is that the thought of death terrifies me. Granted, most people probably aren't super thrilled about it either but in my case uuuh well let's say the mere thought of it is an entire ride to panic town. My brain freezes, skips, rewinds and repeats, my chest gets hollow, my throat feels full and my thoughts get in an endless loop of BAD. Now, you may wonder, if the very thought of death gives me a panic attack faster than you can say thanatophobia why the fuck would I pick this book to read? WELL WHAT DO I KNOW Fine.

I read this book for the challenge.

The challenge of having to read the thoughts of two people confronted to their imminent death, confronted to the urgency of it all, having to sort out their lives and make their goodbyes, make amends and live their last day the best they can, the best they ever wanted to live, all of it happening all at once with no escape. AKA the most terrifying thing. I've been working on myself to step outside of my comfort zone and this one could damn well have been a step, slip, end up in a painful accidental split and can't get my breath back out-of-my-comfort-zone situation but, well. I went for it. And the thing is, it saddens me to say I didn't connect to the characters as much as I wished I would have. I'm usually a character person. Whatever I read or watch, characters mean everything to me. Dialogues that sound real and people who seem spontaneous will sweep me off my feet way higher than a solid plot in a crazy-detailed universe. With this one though, I think maybe I wasn't entirely the target audience; not because I actually believe that there are such things as young adult novels that won't speak to older adults but rather because of what I was expecting from it. I usually ask my friends to never tell me anything about a movie I haven't seen yet. I don't even want to hear people's opinion about it- which is pretty rich coming from someone currently writing a book review, I'll give you that. But I know my friends too well; I know what they're responsive to and what bores them. If they sound like they enjoyed a piece enough but are still slightly disappointed I know which storylines won't go to the fullest of their potential, guess the end of the movie and then what's the point in watching it till the end. I didn't know anything about this book except it was from the LGBTQA+ book section and what the title gave away (I know what you're thinking- the title literally gives away everything, what more do you need?) but that was enough for me to build expectations and wish for answers to questions that turned out to be entirely off focus. They Both Die at the End is a romance novel. It doesn't mean it's intrinsically less good than any other kind but it does mean my questions weren't answered. There's a line in particular at the beginning of the book that stayed with me. When he gets the call, Rufus asks the Death Cast operator: how do you guys know? And that line just tilted things for me. I went on a hunt for clues: references here and there that people believe that Death Cast is a scam; a character who thinks a joke is being played on her until the very last hours of the day; damn, there aren't any public records of how the algorithm works! For all the love I give to slow burn and sweet love stories, this time around I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted Mateo and Rufus' last day to be a day of investigating Death Cast, trying to figure out if all of the deaths they "predict" are actual predictions or if some of them are plain old murders orchestrated to consolidate people's trust in the corporation. Yeah, for once in my life, I was Team Conspiration Theory. Instead the novel barely touches on those subjects- it's a book about people, not about the universe they live in. It's a science-fiction setting, not science-fiction story. It's not a bad book, just the wrong book for me. See, I was barking up the entirely wrong bookshelf.

I'm not disappointed I read it though. This book had something else to offer that definitely worked for me. The title sets a double challenge. It tells it like it is: it looks you in the eyes and goes "these two main characters will die at the end of this book, you have been warned, don't get your hopes up, don't get attached, it ends badly." So of course, the first challenge is "good luck with facing your own fear of death, bud." But there's another gamble coming with this title, it's the thought that crept up at the back of my mind the second I read the title and stayed with me throughout the entire book: Do they really? Do they really not make it at the end? And that's the deal with consuming fiction: these characters are my eyes and ears into this world. If they die then it's over. I'm not even that involved into their story or their families' but if they die, the possibility of their story just stops. I don't want it to stop, how will I know what happens next? What if there's a twist I miss, a chance I might like it better?

Let's take a breather. Think about that for a second. And now let's say that my wishes come true, that's when the fascinating twist comes in: my brain is not ever satisfied. Because no matter how much I want the story to continue, how much I want the characters to survive, how much I want to believe that we can escape death (because that's what this is about, isn't it? That's why I read it after all), there's a voice in my head whispering: But if they make it, won't I be a disappointed? By choosing this title, Adam Silvera makes a promise. And I guess each reader gets to decide how much they want him to keep it.

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

Main content warnings include: death, grief, suicide, gun violence, hospitals

#book recs #adam silvera #they both die at the end

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canaryatlaw · 5 years

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okay, so. most of the day was fairly boring lol as expected but tonight of course was super awesome. I had set a 1 pm wake up if you’re not already awake alarm but I ended up waking up to my phone buzzing right at 11 am, it was a Chicago number so I answered and chatted with this guy from this legal company that does boring shit like document review and is doing like part time temporary hiring projects, which would obviously be a short term fix as I’m still looking for full time employment, but they pay like $20 an hour (and you don’t technically have to be licensed for some of their stuff, so being that I am licensed I miiiiiight get to do some more intense stuff for more pay? Idk, have to see) so I have an 11 am Skype interview scheduled with them for tomorrow morning to chat about that stuff. I’m obviously not like dying to get this job or anything but it’d be nice to have some income while I’m still looking, like if I did like 15-20 hours a week that’s $300-$400 so that’s not insignificant. I’m just gonna be super upfront with them about the fact that I’m seeking permanent employment and if I start anything with them there is a solid chance I will up and leave with fairly short notice, and if they’re not okay with that then we won’t do it, but I get the feeling since a lot of their shit is short term they’ll probably be okay with it. So after I got off that phone call I looked up the number for Ulta and called them to push back my haircut appointment which was booked for 12, I was trying to do think if there was somewhere I could plant myself downtown and do a Skype interview to then just run to the appointment but I obviously don’t want to do like, starbucks, and beyond trying to sneak into my old student org office at school (that’s no longer mine obviously) there’s not very many options, so I was hoping we could just push the haircut back a bit till like 2 and she happened to have an opening then so that was perfect because she gets booked up fairly consistently, so I lucked out there. After that I was lazy and went on my phone for a bit before getting up and going on my laptop at the kitchen table while I ate breakfast and then eventually moved over to the couch and was just listening to podcasts while on my computer for a while, then ended up watching the pilot of the new amazon prime show “Hanna” that’s not actually premiering to March but they were making the pilot available for like 24 hours after the superbowl for some reason and I was fairly intrigued by that (I never did actually see the movie its based on) and it was okay I guess? I wasn’t like super enthralled in it but I may give it a try for a few episodes when it comes out. The main actress is pretty good, but she’s a lot older than I thought she was (she actually turns 19 like, today) when I thought she was more like 13 or 14. and she’s apparently not been in much of anything up to this point, so good for her. After that I just turned the tv off and listened to more Panic music since I downloaded a bunch last night on top of what I downloaded after the concert last week so I could be more familiar with that while doing some computer stuff and trying to get some more Batwoman comic reading done. I was trying to see what they had on DC Universe before switching over to Comixology (which I have to pay for) but they only have issues 1-12 of her new 52 run which is apparently significantly longer than that and I burned through those very quickly, and the other ones on there are basically just one-off appearances in a random Batman story. So I guess I’ll read those then see what I can get on Comixology (they apparently have a subscription thing now which may be more affordable than paying for each comic, I’ll have to see what’s the deal with that). Around 4:30 I started getting ready, tried to do my make up very carefully and ended up trying to use my liquid eyeliner on my bottom lid which I normally don’t do but I like accidentally got some on there when trying to get it on my top lid (not sure how I managed to do that) and wanted to see if I could do the rest. It turned out pretty good in the immediate aftermath at least, but when I got home it had migrated down my face a good bit which is basically my biggest pet peeve with black eyeliner so I probably won’t be doing that again (I’m gonna see if I can find a better one at Ulta/Sephora tomorrow, since I’ll be at the Ulta and there’s a Sephora down the street and I want to find something that’s a Sephora brand product. There’s apparently also a Sally’s around there which I may also hit up for some hair dyeing supplies). But I finished getting ready and got on the bus at like 5:30 to meet Jess at her work so we could go straight to the concert from there, I was supposed to get there slightly before she got off so she could use it as an excuse to leave but the bus was being uncooperative (as public transit often is) and I ended up not getting there until like right when she got off, but it wasn’t a big deal because we weren't really in a rush being that we knew Panic didn’t actually take the stage until like, 8:30 lol. We stopped at a mcdonalds drive thru on the way where we got twenty nuggets, two cokes, and a medium fries (it’s always a debate about how many nuggets to get, because Jess is like “but I want more than 10″ when we’re splitting 20 but it’s more expensive to order 30 nuggets than it would be to order 40 nuggets and that’s just way too many (we did try that once) so I was saying we could do a 20 and a 6 piece but ended up just going with the 20 for us to split. Drove the rest of the way out, the concert was out by the airport which is a bit of a hike but we’re used to going there because most Chicago cons are in a venue that’s right by there. There was fairly massive traffic getting into the venue, and we had some momentary panic (no pun intended) regarding paying for parking because we didn't have any cash and didn’t know if they’d take card, but luckily they did so that crisis was averted. of course it’s bullshit that they’re charging $25 to just park in their giant ass parking lot, but that’s life for ya. Once we parked we had to kinda run to the venue because it was cold and we were both bumming it without our regular coats (I had a leather jacket on) so we were happy when we got in there. Got in without issue, climbed up the stairs to the top level of course and found our seats. We were literally like, the furthest section back on the side before the other seats just weren’t sold because you couldn’t be able to see (the other half of our section was actually closed off) but despite that we actually had a fairly good view and could see most of everything, just mostly from a side view and sometimes the back, lol. I was pumped though because I spent like all of last week wishing I could relive the concert and now I was getting to do that, so I was very excited. The new perspective was interesting, we got to see things from different angles which was interesting, like him popping up onto the stage when he first came out and just jumps up so it looks like he just gets shot out at fairly high speed lol. The set list was the same of course, except I’ve been listening to the music all week and actually knew the vast majority of the songs this time and could sing along, so I felt accomplished for that. I did manage to take a good amount of videos that I posted all on my instagram story if you want to check those out (@ racheleiley) and this time I didn’t ugly sing while recording lol so they’re better quality than the ones from last week. But yeah it was really good, I still got super anxious and cringey when he was on the floating piano above the crowd and very clearly not strapped into anything and like, going to the edge of the platform and I like, couldn’t watch because it stressed me out too much lol but thankfully he made it back okay. When Girls/Girls/Boys came on we hadn’t gotten the little paper colored hearts to put over our cell phone lights this time because we were in the reject section that was mostly empty, but it was still enjoyable and he definitely had no less than 10 pride flags thrown onstage at him during it which he picked every single one up and draped them over him and he was like “this is a record” which was great. But yeah, I really enjoyed all of it. When he came back out for the encore someone threw a little teddy bear onstage and he was like “aw, this is the cutest teddy bear, I’m keeping this” and put it in his back pocket as he kept performing and it was really fucking cute lol. He must be in really good shape to be doing this sometimes multiple times a week because it’s so much energy expended and his voice is so strong to be able to handle it (makes sense that he did a stint on Broadway). But yeah, I enjoyed it a lot and got much better videos this time so I’m pleased with that. Once it ended we managed to get out of the parking lot relatively quickly, definitely a lot quicker than we expected because we kinda cut around part of the line to get to the exit faster (sorry not sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️) and then made it the rest of the way home, and Jess made me walk back to my place from her apartment instead of dropping me off which she could’ve VERY EASILY done, but she was being a butt and trying to get payback because she always has to make the walk when we hang out at my place (which we do the vast majority of the time). So I walked home, thankfully it wasn’t too cold, and then spent a while uploading the videos to my instagram story because it was being uncooperative while at the concert so I had to do them all after. My roommate got home shortly after I did and somehow managed to leave her keys in the front door, but now our front door wouldn’t unlock, so she was gonna go around the back to get to the front and asked if I had my front door key, which I thought she meant the front door to our apartment, so I gave her that she disappeared. Not long after I could hear someone calling my name so I went to the front door and was like ??? yes??? but she wasn’t at the door and I was thoroughly confused as to where she could be until it occurred to me that maybe she was locked outside, so I went down the backstairs to the back door where she was in fact stuck, we had a slight miscommunication on the key situation and she couldn’t get the front door of the building to open because I gave her the wrong key, whoops, but we got it figured out and fixed the door situation so that was good. After that was settled I got in the shower and started getting ready for bed and now I am here. I’ve been writing this post for about 40 minutes and it’s now 2 am, I have to get up at at least 10:30 tomorrow to make sure I’m presentable for the Skype interview so I think I should get to bed now. Goodnight loves. Have a lovely Tuesday.

#daily journal #February 2019 #Jess tag #Panic! At The Disco

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heartbreakhotel16 · 6 years

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Avengers Academy

Chapter 30:

Peter woke up groggy from last night. All he could think about is how today is the day he gets his love back. It wasn't even 24 hours and he couldn't live without her.

How is he going to be when she goes back to Xavier's? He had to stop thinking about when she leaves and start focusing on getting her back. She was his mission. If he fails he'll never forgive himself. After breakfast everyone headed to their suit.

The pods made it so much easier for them to get change. If you were to be watching a movie with action, just imagine them walking out in the hero group walk. Totally badass. Their groups form and got into assigned vehicles, that is if they don't fly. If the fly they just have to follow.

The ride there wasn't horrible, at least 30 minutes. But it felt longer due to nerves. Once they got there everything was in slow motion. Just as the doors were about to open Peter said "We've got this" earning head nods.

He tapped a button on his Iron Spider suit and the mask goes up. There's security everywhere. "IS to Stark, executive step one?" Plan one is to fly in droney who will mess with the security cameras until they're fully shut down.

Plan two is have droney mess with the connection of the walkie talkies which will go faster than the security cameras. Plan three take out security guards and sneak in. Not getting caught is the tricky part but it's worth it.

"Roger that IS. Initiate step one." With that Peter shoots droney from his web shooter. Off the little brilliance of technology goes. They wait for about 5 minutes before droney comes back to Peter.

"Droney is back, initiate step two." All heroes come out from the wooded areas. "Freeze!" A security guard yells as he tries to radio in for backup but it's no use. It only took a minute to take the security guards out.

But like any secure building there's another set on the other side. Those guards were harder to fight off. Luckily the work droney did from the outside affected the security cameras inside. The young heroes go through slowly and quietly.

The less people they have to knock out the easier things will be. But that doesn't seem to be their luck. Like any evil facilities, they have security at every corner. "Miles to IS, we know where she is. We made it to the control room. Go left." Miles pages to Peter as he reaches the end of the hall. But he can't turn till he knocks out security.

Peter stays quiet. “Knock the one on the left out first then go right”. He hits the guard on a pressure point knocking him out. Takes a few seconds for the other guard to realize it but for him it's too late and Peter kicks him in the face knocking him out.

Left. He heads down the hall coming up on a room that's barely lit. "That's the quote on quote infirmary Peter. Keep walking you'll see a door it's locked but I can hack into the system to open it."

"Copy that." Peter looks in the windows. There's multiple people in tanks filled with green stuff.

Eventually Peter spots Laura floating there, tubes sticking from her arms and face. Only one tube was for oxygen.

The rest looked like they were pumping the green liquid into her body. He opens the door after it says access granted. "Now Peter, this is where things are going to get complicated for everyone.

She won't be coming out of there until all of the stuff is in her body. They hooked her up a few hours ago so not a lot has gone in her though if she wakes up you better hope the hell that suit is blade proof. The only way to open it up is by explosion. It's bulletproof glass."

"Copy that." What does he mean by blade proof? Peter activates his other web grenade that is a tiny grenade. He shoots it and braces for impact. The tank explodes and the liquid rushes out. Laura's soaked, unconscious body starts to fall but Peter grabs her before she lands.

Then the alarms go off. "Peter grab her and go. Run fucking fast dude." Miles says panicked. Peter picks Laura up and gets out of there. As he does guards start chasing him but never get to him.

Turns out Miles' part wasn't that go to the security and control room but he noticed that they didn't have anyone checking them so he took it upon himself to do it. He orchestrated every detail and that's what guards in front of Peter and in back were being taken out.

Heroes were coming from every angle as they raced to the doors. Bullets were hitting Peter and Laura but Peter's suit is bulletproof and whatever the green stuff was made Laura bulletproof too.

As they were doing things from the inside, Tony notified the government about a Hydra base camp. As they exited the building every bit of law enforcement was there. Peter ran Laura to the nearest truck.

"Is she waking up?" Someone said as they loaded her into the truck. They were wearing a suit that looked grenade proof, bulletproof, probably everything proof. "Uh I don't know." Peter said. Why are they worrying so much about that?

They closed the doors leaving Peter there. He presses his mask off and stares as the truck leaves with Laura in it. "You guys were amazing, kid. Don't worry, she's going to be fine. It's almost like being in ambulance but unfortunately you couldn't go." Tony tries to cheer Peter up.

Like yesterday when she gave herself up, Peter stood there watching as it left. This time in fear that whatever they did to her, the Laura he knows is gone.

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spnbaby-67 · 7 years

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Craving You - Chapter 5

Synopsis: What happens on a plane when you have a full blown panic attack and Jensen Ackles is next to you?

A/N: Surprise ya’ll, its a couple of day’s early i know, but I wanted to post it. I also want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to Portia at @writersaredreamers for beta’ing this chapter. She has been a HUGE help. (all other mistakes are my own) Also to all of you readers out there, thank you so much for the comments you truly don’t know how much they mean to me. I do have to mention though that this is a completely Alternate Universe for Jensen Ackles and the cast of Supernatural. His job description will be mentioned in a few chapters, but i’m having fun keeping it secret right now, (i now i’m mean, but I cant help myself.) No harm to Danneel or JJ, i love them just the same. I don’t own the GIF’s so thank you creators who do them. My writing is to not be posted on any other site without my consent which I am about to post on Archives hopefully this week.

Warnings: Panic Attack, comforting, Jensen being sweet, (not that needs a warning) Mention of autism, bullying, foreign film, Shahrukh Khan, fluff,

Craving You, Chapter 5

I turn to look at Jensen after I realized I was still in my seat, only to see he was still in his. He was looking over some reports still, I guess the same ones from earlier. Did I fall asleep and dream that kiss? How much of that was true? What happened from the time I came back from my panic attack till now? I swallowed and shifted my position, my back was killing me. He must have heard me because he faced me.

“Hey, you ok?” He placed the papers back into his bag, got up from his seat across the aisle and came to sit by me. He placed his left arm around me. “You fell asleep after your panic attack, I thought it would be easier to let you rest.” He pulled the blue blanket he must have gotten from the flight attendant up over my left shoulder, I was shaking still. Not that it was cold, but from everything. The attack, the dream, how real it was, to him holding me now.

My throat felt like it was burning, and I tried to talk a couple of times but it was dry. “I um, I am so sorry.” I buried my head under the crook of his neck so he couldn’t see the tears. I’m normally not bad at panic attacks so I’m more embarrassed than anything.

He took his finger and raised my chin so I can look at him, I didn’t want to. “Ssshhh it’s ok, honestly. We all have times like that, that we can’t control. It’s ok to accept what happened and not be embarrassed about it.”

My facial expression must have given it away, “It’s not that,” I barely spoke. The flight attendant came over to hand me a bottled water which I took the cap off immediately, I was thirsty. “It’s just this never happened this bad before, to the point I had dreams with it. I know it sounds crazy and all, but did you kiss me?” I sat up at that time to look at him, I wanted to see his reaction.

He smiled at me, “You mean like this?”

He leans towards me, his face coming to me again just like before then disappeared when his lips touched mine. My left hand went behind his neck to card the short hairs he had thru my fingers. His hair felt soft like silk, and he smelt like leather and old spice. It was intoxicating, I feel the heat between us once more, as my heart sped up. Inside my head I’m thinking what the hell am I doing, but my heart is like quit listening to your head and enjoy what you got. I relax a bit more after that, and I feel myself leaning backwards a bit. My head hit the pillow that I could only assume a flight attendant had given me earlier.

As Jensen reclined my seat I became acutely aware of the level of privacy we have versus the other side of the curtain. If we had been in coach I'm sure several passengers would have had some loud and crude comments but I didn’t care i was in heaven. As Jensen’s right hand went around my back I became aware of the hazards of falling asleep in an awkward position, my back chose that moment to let me know it. I suddenly felt Jensen release from my lips and I opened my eyes to see the beautiful man before me. My face was red and I couldn’t catch a breath.

“Wow,” was all I could say.

His smile was like a kid winning a huge price at a county fair as he sat up from me. “You ok?” he managed to ask.

Nervously, I sat up to join him. “Y yeah, that was,” I paused to look down a moment to think of the word to say, then I looked up at him.

“Amazing.” We both end up saying it together.

I shook my head, as we both laughed. Jensen told me that I had slept for about an hour, and he constantly checked on me. I didn’t mean to worry him, hell I didn’t mean to have a full blown attack either. But he was very sweet to keep an eye on me, no one has ever been that kind before. Eventually, the seatbelt light came on and one of our flight attendants informed us of possible turbulence due to a storm we was to be flying through. Jensen returned to his seat after he made sure I was ok, and picked up where he left off on the files he had been reading earlier.

I grabbed my laptop that was in the sleeve of the seat in front of me, looking at it rather perplexed, I don’t remember putting it there. Did that dream really happen? Could he have really kissed me twice? My brain couldn’t comprehend that, but oh the kiss….. The one I'm sure happened, it was totally amazing, his lips are so soft and sweet, just so damn perfect, they fit together with mine like a missing piece that completed the puzzle. I couldn’t believe he actually kissed me though, but I would never for a moment regret it. I selected a movie that I had downloaded awhile back, but never got the chance to watch till now. I figured this would occupy the rest of the flight at least till we started the descend into Texas, god just the thought of that. I’m not too sure on how that’s going to go.

“Hi,” a flight attendant who's name tag said Jaci, came over to me with a tray. “I managed to save your lunch, you wasn't awake when I was here earlier, so here you go.” She paused, “Would you like anything to drink with it?” She was very sweet and polite.

“Um, sure Dr. Pepper?” that’s my go to soda, I think I should invest into the company as much as I drink it. She nodded and went to the back after giving me my lunch.

I look over at Jensen, he smiled and looked up at me as if he sensed my gaze. That smile, oh my it's just pure heaven. I realize that I've started thinking about his smile, his eyes, his lip… Sigh… A lot for only knowing him less than 24 hours. What has he done to me? He is so sweet, and kind. Nothing like the normal guys I've been with. God sure knew what he did when he created that man. I tucked a strand of wayward hair behind my ear, I was beginning to feel the blush start. “What?” I asked him.

“Soda?”

“That’s how we say it back in Texas, how do you say it?”

“I say soda too, but I meant why have that when you have complimentary wine and mixed drinks at your disposal.” He raised his glass at me.

“Oh, I don’t really drink that much and I figured the way my stomach feels, that I really shouldn’t chance it without having something on it.”

“Yeah you're probably right about that. I’ll be finished with this report soon and I’ll be glad to sit next to you and help distract you before we land.”

“I’d like that, thank you. Would you like to watch a movie with me?”

“Sure, eat first and then I’ll join you.” He winked at me.

I did just as that, I was thankful she saved a tray for me because I was starving. After I was done, Jaci came to take tray and refilled my drink for me just before Jensen put his stuff up to join me. I booted up the laptop and remembered.

“Um, do you watch foreign film?” I looked at him with a apprehensive face.

“I have on occasions, if it’s got subtitles I’m sure I can keep up. What movie is it?” he settled next to me as I moved closer to the window.

“It’s called My Name Is Khan, by a Indian actor that I really admire. He’s taught me a lot about love, friendship, and to have a heart. He’s very big actor in many countries, but if you ask me; he is even better than some actors here.” I saw him raise an eyebrow.

“Really, what’s his name?”

“His name is Shahrukh Khan, he’s really amazing. I’ve been a fan for 8 years now.”

“Wow, ok then. Let’s get comfortable and watch the movie.” He shifted so that I can lean against him.

I placed the laptop on the tray in front of me and started the movie. I made sure it had subtitles on it so he can understand what the movie is about. I don’t really need them any more since I know Hindi, it was a passion of mine to learn it. Every time I start one of these films I think of my neighbors across the street and the amazing chicken curry that the mom made. I snuggled against Jensen and peaked at him every once and awhile to see if he was enjoying the movie

It wasn’t long before the seatbelt light came on and Jaci announced we were starting our descent for landing, Jensen looked down at me confused . ” How long is this film?”

I laughed “2 hours and 45 minutes.”

He looked at the time bar on the laptop “We've only watched an hour and a half… Hmmm I guess I should see you again so I can watch the rest.” He flashed me that winning smile and I felt me cheeks redden.

“Do you like it so far?” I squeaked out

He took my hand in his “This movie is totally mind blowing, it amazes me every time I see someone with a certain disability like autism, find ways to grow with it and accept what they have and make something into it, but that bullying part when they killed her son because of his last name. That hit me hard, it's sad to think that there are people like that in this world.”

I took my right hand and gently washed away his tears, “I was bullied all my life. Through school, life in general, it’s hard to go through it every day. Times I decided to give up on and just say fuck it, but something would happen and stop me. I hope I didn’t upset you or anything by asking you to watch the movie with me.” I truly hoped had not upset him.

“Oh no you didn’t, I see why you like this guy. He’s great, I like what I've watched so far and I can't wait to see the rest.” He kissed the back of my hand and released it, I hugged him after I put my laptop away, the captain announced that we was approaching Austin Airport. I could feel his steady heartbeat as I laid my head on his chest. He promised to keep me safe and he did, he had one arm around me, and the other in front of me. The blanket I had was over my shoulders, the closer we got to the ground the more I began to tremble and the tighter he held me.

He took his right hand and cradled my head to his chest and began to hum a song I didn’t recognize, but it was soothing. I became lost in this moment, he was protecting me from the bad motion sickness that I was feeling along with everything else. The way the plane dipped each time it went down closer and closer to the tarmac, it felt ten times worse. I buried my head more each time into his chest, focused on his heartbeat and the humming as I kept my eyes closed. He held me the whole time, God thank you for this man he is amazing.

We finally landed and pulled into the gate, he held me a few more minutes before we had to actually get up and collect our things. Truthfully, I’m glad he did because I dunno if I would have made it. I gave him the all clear and stood up from our seats, he helped me get my carry on from the overhead bin. He gathered his backpack and walked out of the plane with me. My legs were a bit wobbly, but I managed to walk the ramp. Thank goodness he had his arm around my waist, I dunno what it was either, the after effects of the panic attack, or his beautiful self-next to me. We went to the baggage claim to get our luggage and I really hated to see him leave, he asked me if I had a ride which I told him about Jeff.

“Are you sure you got a ride to where you’re going?” he stood really close to me.

“I do, Jo’s fiancé is coming to get me. He should be here already.” We walked out of the baggage claim and the first thing to greet me was the heat that hit me in the face and took my breath away. “Wow, I don’t miss the Texas heat for sure.” I fanned myself as I took a drink from the water bottle I got after we landed.

He walked us over to an more private area that didn’t have very many people waiting on their rides, “Here, this is my number. call me if you would like to finish that movie.” He smiled like he just was the happiest person on earth at that moment.

I looked up at him, “I might do that, how long you here?”

“About a week, I go back Sunday. I’m here for a friend’s birthday and to see family. Hopefully we’ll run into each other again.” He held my hand.

“I’d like that,” I waved to Jeff who I saw approaching from behind Jensen.

He turned to see a familiar person. But didn’t act like he knew him. “Great, send me a text when your free and we’ll get together.” He winked at me, then leaned in to kiss me.

“Uh Hmm, am I interrupting anything?” Jeff’s deep voice interrupted our kiss.

I smiled into our kiss then opened my eyes as I looked at Jeff, “Um, kind of.”

Jensen pursed his lips together at my bluntness. “A girl who speaks her mind, I like that.” He held my hand as he stood next to me.

“Um Jeff, this is Jensen, Jensen this is Jeffrey Dean Morgan my best friends fiancé.”

He shook hands with him, but what I didn’t see was the nod they gave each other as we said our final goodbyes.

**If anyone wants to be tagged send me and message or an ask, Thank you all so much, I love you all*

@writersaredreamers

@secretlyfurrydragon

@secretimpala67

@iwantthedean

@laqueus-ludovicus

@nanie5

@wheresthekillswitch

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles #panic attack #shahrukhkhan #alternate universe #supernatural #jeffrey dean morgan

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nightstareternal · 6 years

Text

DL Character Meme Tag

I was tagged by @littleladysuzanne. I always look forward to your tags <3

Rules: List your top 10 favorite DL characters (it doesn’t just have to be the dateable guys, any characters are fair game) in order. And the answer the questions. Blank questions at the end.

1. Shin

2. Carla

3. Azusa

4. Kanato

5. Kou

6. Ruki

7. Shu

8. Ayato

9. Subaru

10. Laito

1. Number 5 (Kou) has decided they want to completely change up their wardrobe and they take you shopping with them so you can give your opinions on what new outfits they should buy. What sort of clothes are you going to recommend?

I'm just going to be blunt when I say I have no fashion sense. I would seriously be no help in this matter 😅

2. You walk into your room one day to find number 2 (Carla) standing on your bed, dancing to your favourite song while wearing nothing but your favourite underwear. How do you react?

Omg I can just imagine the horror on Carla's face when he is caught! XD I would honestly probably be too shocked and dumbfounded for several moments until most likely Carla snaps me back into reality to quickly leave the room.

3. Number 7 (Shu) has to go to the dentist but they’re adamantly refusing. How would you persuade them to go?

The best but unsafe bet is to take his music away. He wouldn't be able to get it back unless he went.

4. You lose a bet with number 6 (Ruki) and now have to be their personal maid for a day. Do you go through with it or do you try to get out of it?

Why do I feel this would be fitting for Ruki? Knowing Ruki, this could either go smoothly enough or horribly wrong. >_<

5. Number 4 (Kanato) takes you to see a horror movie however they end up getting absolutely terrified halfway through and bury their head into your shoulder. How do you react?

I could see Kanato reacting in anger and throw a tantrum every time he is scared. The only way to help him calm down is by giving him his favorite sweets. He would also insist that I get some for Teddy too.

6. Number 9 (Subaru) surprises you with a cake they’ve baked especially for you. Are you going to eat it?

I would be genuinely surprised by the gesture. As long as I feel it's ok to eat, I wouldn't mind to take a slice and then share the cake with Subaru too ^_^

7. Number 8 (Ayato) accidentally manages to completely trash their room, to the point where it’s uninhabitable. They don’t have anywhere to stay while it’s being repaired and so they ask if they can room with you for the next couple of weeks. How do you respond?

If it's Ayato, I would feel a little weary about it but I doubt he would give me the option to refuse. As long as he doesn't trash my room as well, I suppose he could stay over.

8. Number 1 (Shin) has decided to learn how to play the trumpet. The downside to this is that, for some reason, they’ve taken to practicing right outside your room around the time you normally go to sleep. What are you going to do?

Shin, I love you but a girl has got to sleep. If I don't sleep, I can probably be just as stubborn and grumpy as he can be at times.

9. Number 10 (Laito) recently purchased a cat onesie and they’ve insisted on wearing it everywhere over the past few days. They’ve now purchased a matching onesie for you and they’re being very insistent that you wear it and go out in public together. What do you do?

Why can I see this scenario happening with Laito? It seems like something he would do and he would have to force it on me to wear it in public.

10. Number 4 (Kanato) is still scared after watching that horror film with you. It’s now late at night and they’re demanding that you let them sleep in your bed with you. What do you do?

I would do my best to make room on my bed and let him sleep next to me. We would then fall asleep as we cuddle with our precious teddy bears <3 (and yes, I still sleep with stuffed animals at night)

11. Number 3 (Azusa) confesses to you that they want to be an Olympic gymnast but struggle to even touch their toes. What sort of advice do you give to them?

Since he struggles with even touching his toes, I would recommend practicing Yoga to strengthen both his flexibility and core strength. Then it would be a matter of building some muscles but most of this could be built as he takes gymnastics lessons.

12. Number 7 (Shu) decides they want to paint a picture of you. They make you sit still for hours while they work on it, only when they finally reveal it to you, the image bears absolutely no resemblance to you. They ask you for your opinion, what do you say?

This could go different ways. If the painting still has artistic qualities to it, I would probably like it. If it doesn't, I probably wouldn't be too happy with the end result.

13. Number 5 (Kou) buys a large pet python and they try to talk you into keeping it in your room. How do you respond?

Kou... it's not going to happen.

14. You go on a Ferris wheel with number 6 (Ruki) but when you reach the top, it stops moving and stays still for a long time. There seems to be some kind of fault, which means you’re trapped with number 6 till someone can get it working again. What do you do?

Depending on certain circumstances, I could be calm or worried. If it's only for a short while and the seat doesn't rock a lot, then I would probably be fine. Though if it's a old carnival Ferris wheel, Ruki would have to sit through and listen to my panicked self. 😅

15. Number 2 (Carla) proposes you play a game of twister. Regardless of whether you want to or not, you get dragged into it. As you’re playing, you notice number 2 seems to be touching you a lot more than necessary. Do you call them out on it, or take some other course of action?

I would probably make a casual mention of it but Carla would most likely dismiss it as a foolish thought.

16. You’re getting changed in your room when you suddenly hear a noise from your wardrobe. You open the wardrobe to find number 3 (Azusa) standing in it. How do you react?

I would be pretty confused to why he would be in there but knowing Azusa, I can see him just showing up in random places at random times.

17. Number 1 (Shin) manages to accidentally handcuff themselves to you. They don’t have a key and for some reason, no matter what either of you do, you can’t seem to get them off. What are you going to do?

Considering I'm someone who needs their own perosnal space, I can't see this going well for long even if it's with Shin.

18. Number 10 (Laito) presents you with a bouquet of roses and declares that they have feelings for you. How do you react?

I would have to politely turn him down. Hopefully he wouldn't try to seduce me after the rejection. >.>;

19. You go swimming with number 8 (Ayato). You’re having a great time until they pull you aside and tell you that they’ve somehow lost their swimwear. Are you going to help them and if so how?

When no one is looking, I would quickly toss him a towel to cover himself with. If there's no luck finding his swimwear, I would go buy a new pair to replace the one he lost.

20. Number 5 (Kou) wrote a love letter to you and slipped it into what they believed to be your locker, however the locker actually belongs to number 8 (Ayato) and they didn’t bother writing your name on the letter. How does number 8 react when they find it?

I feel like Ayato would get a good laugh from reading it depending on how much is confessed in the letter.

21. Number 7 (Shu) gets very very drunk and tries to give number 3 (Azusa) a strip tease. What happens?

I could only see this going wrong in the long end...

22. Number 6 (Ruki) and number 2 (Carla) get into a rap battle and they want you to be the judge. Who do you think is going to win and why?

I can honestly only see this ending in a tie. Carla would probably through a fit knowing he tied with a vampire XD

23. Number 1 (Shin) accidentally ruins number 9’s (Subaru) most prized possession and begs for your help in covering it up. What do you do?

I seriously would not want to get involved in this. I'm sure Shin could hold his own just fine against Subaru but I wouldn't want to face his wrath >_<

24. You wake up in between number 4 (Kanato) and number 10 (Laito) with absolutely no memory of how you got there. Do you have any idea about what might have occurred and what are you going to do now?

If I have no reason to feel like anything more went on, I would most likely just lie there confused and wouldn't move until I remembered how I got there.

25. You go on a camping trip with number 9 (Subaru), number 6 (Ruki) and number 3 (Azusa). What sort of stuff do the four of you do together?

If the weather is nice, going on a walk through the woods would be nice. Then as soon as it gets dark, it's campfire time. ^^

26. Number 9 (Subaru) and number 4 (Kanato) have somehow swapped bodies. How do they react and are you going to try to help them get back to normal?

I could see Kanato throwing a fit because of the situation and want to get back to his own body while Subaru would be moody with some furniture meeting their untimely end. R.I.P.

27. You’re playing a game of Monopoly with number 5 (Kou), number 7 (Shu), and number 10 (Laito). Who wins and who goes bankrupt and storms off in a rage?

I can just imagine Laito's face as he wins the game, Shu could care less he went bankrupt, while Kou would forever remember this loss and will plan his revenge. Gotta keep the wins and losses even for him ;)

28. You go on a hike with number 8 (Ayato) and number 2 (Carla). Number 8 is in charge of the map and they manage to get you completely lost in the middle of nowhere. What are you going to do?

Despite not liking the situation, the only choice would be to keep on walking until we find our way back or until someone comes find us. Hopefully the former would happen first OAO

29. Number 1 (Shin) has given up on learning the trumpet and has taken up the banjo instead. They write a song and play it for you but it sounds beyond terrible. How do you react?

I would be touched by the gesture and probably couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth. I've never been good in situations like this 😅

30. Number 1 (Shin) and number 2 (Carla) get in a fight over you. Number 2 manages to win and asks you for your hand in marriage. How do you respond?

Talk about a battle for the pride and future of the Founders. I feel even if I turned down Carla's proposal, I would probably be left with no choice but to marry him. I'm so sorry Shin ;A;

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