#This has been in my brain for like actually months

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

So... @muffinlance wrote a really awesome story. I read a post from a point in time, though I truly do not remember when since it seems like I've been working on this project forever, saying that she gives blanket permission for people to print and bind the story into a book (I think there was an also addendum saying that they do not give permission to be sold, since selling fic is illegal). This fic has had total control over my whole brain since it was sent to me (@creatorofthemind I believe it was you, so thank you forever for tuning me into it) back during the days of like chapter six or seven.

So here I am now, sharing this amazing journey of my first ever bookbinding adventure. Further reading below.

So to give you an idea of what's going on, this is a fanfiction about Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender) (animated show version, the LA show did not exist yet and we do not speak of the movie) being adopted by Hakoda, Father of Katara and Zuko. (This might have also been what kicked off the Give Zuko A Parent craze, but don't fact check me.)

Overall, the characters from the show stick very well to the cannon versions, but where MuffinLance really shines is in the rich backstories and fleshed out feeling of all the non cannon elements. Especially the background characters. I would argue that the writing in this peice of fanwork could easily rival the cannon show at many points of comparison.

Now that you have context, we can get into the actual process.

To start, I used this guide to figure out where to even begin, and fount the included resource list to also be quite helpful. I cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out where I found the template I used for the front matter and such, but it must be somewhere and I will link to it when I inevitably come across it again.

Then I began to typeset. This step took... a long time. I worked in chunks from about September of 2022 to late March of 2024. I would get a big section done, sometimes even the entire thing, but then find I hated the way I had done it and give up for months at a time. Such is the life of ADHD and flitting interest in projects I suppose.

And then finally, step one was done, and I was left with pages on a word document that look like this. (And do please let me know if you want the link to the document. It was so much work, and I would love to not be the only one to use it.)

Next step was printing out this beast. Ended up being about eight pages of front matter, and about 630 pages of body text.

That I printed wrong.

Twice.

Before finally getting it right. And then not getting a picture of it, because I finished at 4 am and had work at 7, and am also an idiot.

Then I simply stitched along, putting everything together into a beautiful text block.

And came up with a design for the cover.

Yes the glue did end up lumpy. Ignore it.

Yes I did have to sketch out the design onto a scraped page several times before I figured out what I was doing. Ignore that too.

The cover design does wrap around the entire cover. No I did not get a picture before I glued the thing down. See again: I'm an idiot. And just... massively impatient.

Finally, we get to the stage of gluing. Behold, my bookpress.

Of course, topped with Madam MuffinLances own actual professional-people book, Fox's Tounge and Kirin's Bone. It is Excelent. Here is the LINK so you can go and support this amazing author with the real-monies as well as the internet-kudos.

Then, once everything is glued together, one must give the book its "gilt" edges.

#atla #salvage #bookbinding #fanbinding #muffinlance #I'm a really big fan of this story and the characters ok? #They're really fun and I love them.

[remindingpersephone]

Here we go again

Hi gang. I'm back on my Chris-Get's-Healthy kick, again. I know I've talked about this and asked for your help in the past. I am once again attempting to quit sugar and work out more.

If you have offered me advice in the past and are tired of my requests, yet again, for advice and ideas, I understand. I get it. Believe me, no one is more tired of my bullshit and my inability to stick to a regimen and make the healthy choices than I am.

This last time I was derailed by my mom's illness and death. I just did not have the mental space or physical energy to commit to disciplined nutritional choices and consistent work outs while taking care of her. But the reasons don't really matter because there were excuses before this one, and on and on. I have been starting and giving up on, healthy living routines since I was 18 years old. Let's do the math, that's 30 years!

A little background: I am not a yo-yo dieter. I very slowly put on weight starting with my first desk job at 20 and never dropped it. The weight has never bothered me. I am a confident woman who has never needed to fit into a six 6. I am also single by choice and nothing in the last 30 years has given me a reason to change my mind about this.

This situation now is that I'm looking hard at 50 and the little aches and pains: the trick knee, the occasional sciatica, the feet that get a little too sore too soon, are, I feel, all red flags signaling that hitting snooze on my health is no longer an option.

I truly believe that fitness and nutritional eating are not only the key to staying fit and active, but I think if I just commit and get through those first few tough months, I would actually like it.

Lately I've been drinking my Dr. Pepper and eating my high-calorie cheesy pasta and lots of sourdough bread (all my favorites), but they just haven't been as satisfying as they once were. [Sidebar: I realize some of this could be residual depression and grief making life just not as wonderful as it once was. That will take time.]

Mostly, I'm just tired of giving the "I have got to get my health in order" thoughts the mental real estate in my brain. I need to deal with it so I can move on from it. So it is not such big part of my daily thoughts.

My long-winded and self-indulgent post here is just to ask once again - and I swear for the last time - what do you all find works for you as far as fitness and nutrition goes? My fitness goals are:

to get stronger and improve flexibility and mobility while protecting the joints and ligaments

staving off osteoporosis

alleviating some peri-menopause symptoms

My nutrition goals are:

to kick the sugar addiction once and for all and change my palate so I don't crave sweet things so much

prevent diabetes/heart disease, etc. before they start

improving gut health

I welcome all comments and advice, and that includes the tough-love "girl, you have got to get your shit together!"

#fitness and nutrition #here we fucking go again

[alchemicaladarna]

Hi sorry, I'm ill about the soul vulture arc again. Because q!Bad made choices in his grief, in his rage, thinking he will never feel an ounce of happiness again because he thought his kids were dead. Q!Bad's Acceptance was never of accepting that grief and learning to live after it, but rather, it was the silent admission that his children were dead and there was nothing he could do. No rage, no monster, no demon, no power in heaven or hell could bring them back. It was Acceptance. But the cruel twist of fate was the fact that he was wrong. Pomme, Dapper, and the other eggs were alive, actually. By the time he found out, however, it was already too late. He was long gone, and every choice has a consequence, and he suffered the consequences of his choices like hell.

Q!Bad was dead long before he fell in the lavender field one hundred feet away from the house his children built. One hundred steps away from his sleeping children he fought so hard to keep safe, under all costs. He died the night they were taken away, because they were his soul, his happiness. Everything that mattered in the millenia he's existed, nothing could compare to his children. He died that night; and all those months where it seemed like he was alive, where he was "healing" was the grim reaper bargaining with himself to hold on a little longer for his children.

Q!Bad loved Dapper and Pomme, and Richas, and all the eggs- he loved them so much it hurt. He loved them so much that love became his hell- his purgatory. Q!Bad loved them until the moment he finally stepped in his grave and couldn't bargain any more.

He deteriorated for months. He was literally melting from the inside. The vultures pecked at his body and fractured his soul. The radiation melted the skin off his limbs, and the brain inside his skull. It hurt like no other death, but if it meant seeing his kids for one more day, then that hell was more than worth it. And the physical pain wasn't the worst of it- no, eventually, he forgot his children's names, their faces, he forgot his own name, and he forgot himself. Memories slipping away like lost fragments of time. Until his death, when he was barely himself anymore.

People noticed, but never really did anything to stop it did they? I mean, who are we kidding, even if anyone spoke up, nothing they could have done would have prevented the inevitable. Dapper knew the fate his father subjected himself to. She knew what scars from soul vultures looked like, and she tried to find a cure. He tried, when he still had his lab, but there was never enough time. No science or magic could ever remedy what was already destined to happen.

And Pomme, sweet Pomme, stayed with her father until the end. She gave him health potions- "medicine"- to help his ailments. And she had so much hope she lived in denial- she thought he was getting better. But the truth is that the memory lapses and the illness never ceased because no medicine could ever resurrect a fractured soul clinging on to his deceased body.

Then Q!Bad finally relinquished himself to the sweet mercy of death. And when he arrived, he found the promise of paradise- the promise of Home, where he would never have had to suffer a painful hell again. But he chose to come back to live and to suffer once more because this time, his children were waiting on the other side. For the first time, the scales were balanced, and his happiness was halved because he had a home that was worth living in, and a life that was worth living. For the first time in the millennia q!bad had been alone, he had love. And that was enough.

The story has always been about love and loss, and the beauty of love and life, despite that loss. That's why the soul vultures arc is my favorite, and also why I nearly cried halfway through writing this. Because love thrives in spite of the loss, and the grief, and the personal hell. When death comes, and it always does, and time has eroded every portrait, or photograph, or memory- all that is left is love. And that love is hope, as well as grief. It is joy and sadness. It is heaven and hell. It is simply love.

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #badboyhalo #qsmp dapper #qsmp pomme #qsmp analysis #character analysis #i had a shit day and i actually did start crying after writing this man ansndnfnfnend #anyways...soul vulture arc my beloved #it was death and love and hope and horror all tied up in a beatifully devastating tragedy #tw death #tw gore #<-slightly mentioned #sorry its been 2 fucking months and im still not over it #long post #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp eggs

[beefrobeefcal]

Fat Ezra? Fat Ezra.

So I think he actually hurt his leg on a prospect trip, he still has both arms. And he goes back home bc he’s out of commission. He manages to go to his fave club to see his fave girl dance. She sees him struggling and is like wow let me take you back to my place and care for you.

Fast forward a couple of months, he lives with her, she takes care of him, she hand feeds him every meal 😍 sometimes he likes to hold a vibrator to her clit while she feeds him and if she messes up/isn’t quick with the bites/misses his mouth, he pulls away until she calms down a tad and starts all over again aka he edges her. Also since she’s been taking care of him, obvi he has a belly now and she loves how healthy and fuller he is. I could easily see some tummy riding/thigh riding, maybe he’s a lil self conscious and she kisses his tummy

Bless you, Prinny, and your Ezra dedication!

I haven't forgotten about our beloved rapscallion and he will be touching down sooner rather than later.

While not all the THOTs contributed made it through, you did inspire a rather important aspect of the plot.

Everyone say Thank you Prinny! for her beautiful, sexy brain. Thank you so much for being here in the Bistro with me and for all your love and support!

Yours in sin,

Beefro👌🥩💜

#900 friendo celebration #900 milestone #900 followers #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal tummy #you ask beefro answers #thot tank #you asked beefro answered #ezra prospect #fat ezra #chubby!ezra #chubby ezra rights !!! #🥩

[itsyagurlchip]

ask: @snipersiniora If so can i please request for a rottmnt family platonic one-shot of little sister reader and her family? Reader is as the same age as Mikey.

Where reader admits she's been secretly dating a yokai or mutant boy for months and she not only admit to it but asks if he can meet her family to see if he's good or not.

If you want to know the boyfriend is a keeper (good guy) but how reader's family react and do in the meeting is up to you.

٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭ ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰Snitch Tendencies ٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭ ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰

✰⋆⁺warnings: goofy shi(!) cussing (idk i didn't look/count) (!) too many references (!) boyfriend is very much like mondo gecko(!)

✰⋆⁺lmao you didn't see that- no one did (💀💀😭🤚🏾) whatever you think you saw, you were hallucinating. yes....um, welp, enjoy! It's a mix of a one shot and head cannons, sorta like Picky Icky but, yk, with a different plot.

imma just leave this here- cuz i feel bad about not being able finish this correctly without it sounding like a brain fart. but the new one is currently in construction!

✰⋆⁺"How did they know? Could've sworn that I was subtle. But there was the snitch, should've known he was trouble" Me and you both SpongeBob. nah, nobody but you. You were always bad at lying afterall

You were slowly crawling into lair- perfectly unsuspecting, the quietest of ninja foot steps, no one would ever-

aaaand, the lights just came on.

dear cookie crumbles.

"and WHAT were YOU doing on the topside AFTER CURFEW YOUNG LADY????" There sat a tall ass foot turtle, which is my brother mind you, is tapping his foot sassily against the ground. He also wore a scowl, damned sharpie, with an eye twitch (which would have been funny, had I not been in this situation).

"EEK! a-i- ummm- welp, uhhh- hi DeeDee!" I cringed after flinching so aggressively, smiling in a forced manner. No wonder it all seemed so perfect, damn it Donnie.

"NUH UH!! you dont get to 'DEeDeE' me! What in PizzaSupreme™ were you doing out so late!???"

"i-"

"You've been missing Mikey's meditation practices for strudle's sake!! Do you wanna know what it's like when he pops into Dr Delicate mode???" Donnie was pacing in rectangles, his two fingers massaging the skin that surrounds his brain.

damn his head is big.

"And you guys are best friends!" I involuntarily flinched mentally and physically. "Imagine how he would feel when he finds out that you've been- WAIT! what have you even been sneaking out for?"

annnnnnnddd there's the question

aw pork dumplings. I sighed deeply before opening my mouth, before closing it. Pursing my lips, i did it again as sound began to stutter out of my mouth.

"Well- ummm" I actually didn't know what to say, which is a bit unnerving, because I always have 'somethin to say' per Splinter. "errrm- e-e-i- d-" I tried- but the dude wouldn't even let me speak!

"You're not sans, and quit opening and closing your mouth, it's making your survival rate lower by the second." Donnie impuded. His eyes narrowed lower at my silence.

Well, what the heck?

"I have a boyfriend....and he's yokai" Donnie quit his pacing, and turned fully towards me like a mobile roblox player in 1st pov. I simply rocked back and forth as i waited for his brain to catch up with what is happening.

Donnie couldn't even believe what his ear holes were registering.

You mean to tell him, his little poor, innocent, younger sister was out MINGLING in this universe's equivalent to the underground!

Was he even good enough? i better not be a bum, or worse, a chad.

What even was he?

Oh chewy macaroons, he hoped that you aren't dating a witch-

non of that magic nonsense! (he's still salty about being incorrect and less-than professional at witch town.)

Do you use the chart that he made for you?

Because if that- eugh -boy is going to, court, you, he has to be the one.

and ooohhh if he breaks your heart...

lets just say that the hidden city's ip addresses will have a simple look through.

"huh..." Donnie blinked. His face went through a plethora of emotions. and then he made a face- oh god-

"WAI-" I tried. But it was no use- Donnie pulled a notebook and pen out and started scribbling some more words only he could decipher.

"How tall is he? What's his species? What would you say his eye shape is? How big is-"

"Hey Donnie?"

"And then he could be a delinquent- Are you even into thugs? You didn't even tell me you were into yokai- better yet anyone!"

"DONNIE!!" I yelled. "How about he comes over and you cant meet him for yourself?" I offered. Despite whoever's efforts, i could still hear their footsteps. I was always considered the most in tune with my 5 senses, right next to Donnie.

('So why do I struggle with my mystics?' i questioned myself, but that's for later.)

"Who's Donnie gonna analyze now?" Leo walked in, grumbling with a grimace. Donnie flinched dramatically. I looked at the clock just to see it was 2:56 in the morning. Which meant i had been out for at least 6 hours. I winced again.

"Why don't you tell him? HUH? Oh DEAR little sister???!?!?" Okay now bro was getting on my damn nerves. I know he couldn't help it, but that doesn't mean he has to chuck me under that big yellow box full of sweaty children. (a bus)

Obviously that woke him up, even more than his insomnia has ever, with a lean against the wall.

"Is this about where they've been going? You do know you've missed at least 5 meditation sessions Mikey-" I held my hand up, stopping him from explaining further.

"Yea- i know, i feel bad about that as well." I started, "I've been going out to meet this boy..and we've been meeting up and dating for the past few weeks. He's a gecko mutant- He super nice and funny, he has this-"

"alright! alright! We dont need all of that gushy shit- plus, i suspected that anyway." Leo cut in. And honestly, Im not surprised.

"Yea.. figured as much" I sighed.

"YOU KNEW???"Donnie harshly whispered. Oh right, we're supposed to be quiet.

"No, i guessed. I mean, what else screams "im in love" better than a dopey smile, and kicks while screaming into a pillow- btw lil sis, you're super loud, keep the simpery down to a 3 mkay?" Leo said, just to end it with a wrist flip and a sassy finger pointing my way.

I rolled my eyes, but my faced betrayed my emotions with a bright blush.

"Whatever- we'll talk about it when everyone else is up." I backtraked. "I'll text him to come over Friday since its Tuesday. And ill tell April to come over too."

"So that's it!?" Donnie exclaimed, "No 'Look at you and ur silly crush' or 'sTinKY LiL sIs iS iN LoVe'?????" His hands were wildly waving around. "The fuck?"

"Im just better than you, besides, you were super duper sappy when you had your first date." I jested.

"Not really- well yes, but its also the fact that its now almost 4 at the ass crack of dawn and i couldn't care less right now."

"Oh- valid/That makes sense" You both said at the same time.

"Lets got to brd before Raph and Mikey wake up." Leo sat up from the wall, turning away. "Both of them being cranky isn't something I'd like to experience at the moment -" He finished, before walking towards his room.

"WELP! night night Dee! i hope you get toilet splashback <3"

"Okay then"

and you both went to your rooms. there. Despite already being awake for the whole night, you could only sleep for 3 hours before you had to get up again...great.

Speaking of, it was that morni

had to redo this bc the first one was absolutely brain fart

@kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice @cyb3r-st4r. if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!

@tmnt-shitposting you said you like little sister readers right?

#yagurlchip❤️ #rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #sibling reader #rise of the tmnt #rise donatello #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise leo #rise mikey #rise raph #rise donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #tmnt 2018 #x reader #fem reader

[66sharkteeth]

just wanted to say that last week's FP episode was such a great gut punch for me, my jaw dropped. it was beautifully done; Bell's and Jericho's stories being told simultaneously was a super effective contrast. Bell's side of things feels like acceptance of the flaws of the present society and moving toward progress in changing it, while Jericho's side feels like total rejection of the flaws of the present society and moving backward from progress to destroy it instead. thus we remain stagnant in this shitty status quo, and Jericho recreates his trauma around his autonomy being taken from him by doing the same to Bell in a way. AND in the process my favorite character is killed. augh it hurts :'-)

i've been a long time reader since the first version was posted on DA and man it's just cool as hell to see how this story has evolved. i really admire and appreciate your dedication to it. i've always found CoB a very unique concept with a ton of potential and i'm so grateful and SO excited to get to see it through to the end after all these years. it continues to impress me more and more as it progresses. i have the webtoon app exclusively to read this lol. thank you for all your hard work creating it!

i got a handful of asks about this week's episode, but i'm gonna respond to this one for now bc it's been sitting here for almost a month since i got it while it was still on FP

first off, i'm glad this ep hit w/ so many people! i'm gonna share my own thoughts soon, maybe tomorrow rather than my usual friday "weekly thoughts." a little off topic and TMI, but i actually got the worst food poisoning of my life last week and I've kinda just been a pile of mush incapable of coherent thoughts since. Today's the most normal I've felt since that all hit tho, so hopefully by tomorrow I'm capable of structuring thoughtful posts again.

But anyway, thank you! I put so much more of my brain power into that ep than I normally do and I'm glad it paid off haha. I'll elaborate more in my weekly thoughts, but it means a lot that people are appreciating it.

[cactikiki]

You can't win me, I can't be beat.

I won't hurt you... Unless you cheat!

#Fnaf #artists on tumblr #glitchart #fnaf ruin #fnaf security breach #ruin dlc #five nights at freddy's #Gregory #GGY #Mimic #Glitchtrap #tales from the pizzaplex #Cabinet man #This has been in my brain for like actually months #Finally drew it lmao

[dnncats]

slaying while slaying 🔪🩸

still + alt color:

#art #dnncats #astarion #my beloved #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion art #havent been active w art but big news this man has me in a GRIP #going 2 ramble in the tags a bit for those who Care!!! #the brain has been rotting ovr bg3 for like. 2 months now #ive done 2 playthrus (1 current) so far and bro ive only ever romanced this fucking guy its so over 4 me.......i cant deny him #i love him so much my chaotic neutral bf wife #ive gotten my ass beat by abdirak in the goblin camp every time for his approval #its actually so serious LMFAOO #anw more astarion art 2 come hopefully hehehe <3

[rox-of-iu]

my old blorbos are back in my brain

heart pirates my absolute beloved. shame theyre chillin somewhere in the ocean lol (do not mention the pre-time skip hats of penguin and shachi I'm still attached even tho its already been a million years since then)

anyway every time i remember that Law and Kid are assigned german and Scottish by Oda i gain one hundred years

#one piece #trafalgar law #heart pirates #penguin #shachi #kidlaw #weary sigh- i am never getting out of this place #OP has been in my brain since -checks watch- like 2016 I think? and there is no escape #like every few months this stupidass anime/manga just grabs my brain again for a month or so hdjkhkd #its terminal #anyway as a long time enjoyer of heart pirates-crys-hjdsfhkdhfk #i come back after a long time and this is the status update i get??? anyway fly high polar tang o7 #btw if theres any mistakes in the german bits I'm sorry i did study german for a few years as my third language of choice but #im not super confident in it so hdsjfhk sorry #but the first bit with vergo is partly a reference to a meme that i saw some time ago and that completely took me out #and should translate i think into 'yea yea whatever. you wanker' and 'sorry. you(formal) wanker' #hajsdhkd #and the one with kid hopefully says 'oh yeah mirrors can be scary' #oh well and thats about it cheers #id say read one piece but actually dont its at 1088 chapters now #and just the catching up that i did in the past few days absolutely took me out lmao #but hey this is prolly my oldest going-on fandom that i still feel the need to come back from time to time lol o7

[hoofpeet]

perpetually suffering the tortures lately

#don't ever make a very complex/esoteric story based around a pre-existing fandom .worst mistake of my life #<-(the tortures) #half joking but the autism has been extremely agonizing lately in almost every way imaginable #.mostly just in the typical way of. it being impossible to believe i can actually be welcomed in any sort of fandom/community #and feeling horribly embarrassed about continuously pushing my posts into tags where people are trying to enjoy themselves #so. been spending the last month or so trying to beat my brain out of being hyperfixated on the blorbos to the point of embarrassment #<--putting this here mostly as an apology/explanation ig for not posting much lately . #trying to exile myself from the fandom + in general. it has been hard to do literally anything but lay in bed all day #also as well as just like. summer sensory hell + sadd moments #ough . the tortures

[rainbow-flavoured-skittles]

been thinking about an au where Jay is raised by Cliff Gordon and meets Cole at one of his dad's concerts. they become childhood friends or something but lose contact. there is bruiseshipping

#this has been haunting my brain for the past month #feel like if I actually made it into a fic there would be mostly fluff #probably a oneshot series though #ninjago au #jay walker #cole brookstone #ninjago cole #ninjago jay #lego ninjago #bruiseshipping #bruise childhood friends au

[mueritos]

two gay furries from a patreon request who became my ocs...theyre on a date :) the deer is named griffin and im still trying to figure out a name for the rabbit lol...name suggestions welcome ^-^

patreon

#muertodraws #furry #gay furry #furry art #furry oc #the deer is transmasc and the rabbit is cis #yes i already drew them fucking you can find it on my patreon lol #they both love grunge music and uhh are super gay in love with each other #but yeah if anyone has name suggestions for the rabbit pls send them my way! #i was considering layne but thats like my fucking brain rot from listening to alice in chains daily kicking in #i almost named the deer eddie too after months of only listening to pearl jam bro #someone save me my brain has been grunge men for like 6 months now #actually dont save me i love men

[owlarchivist]

omg happy pride month

#the fruity four have finally been drawn together #this actually killed me omg #four characters and a background what was i thinking (i wasnt) #anywho sorry for disappearing for like several months thats on me #my brain has been absolutely rotting since my tv broke (i cant play on my ps4😔😔) and i got back into Fortnite as a result #i digress i love the four of them so much #i have like relatively solid redesigns for all of them exept brick cause his is already great #but i wanted to change his build cause he looks stupis asf in game💀💀💀 #ALSO im working on a rewrite of bl1 so that is something to look forward too #borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands 3 #lilith the firehawk #roland the soldier #brick the berserker #mordecai the hunter #owl.archives

[starjunkyard]

"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.

#house md #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #johan being crazy about yaoi md #johan's mindpalace #Im crazy #like im tearing up #this scene is so romantic it genuinely makes me nauseous #the lowlight setting the lingering stares the soft little smile a dam thats finally broken #I need a 12 gauge bullet in the thigh #Please watch this scene screencaps do not do it near enough justice #do you know whats so genuinely actually sickening #its been months since i finished house md #and i have not watched a single show that has managed to fill even a quarter of the gaping bleeding hilson shaped hole in my heart #shows that have actual gay people actual representation and not a single one has managed to alter my brain chemistry the way hilson has #since day 1 episode 1 #Like its actually nauseating a little its so over for me for the rest of my life #Like im actually never recovering #people say “they dont make xyz like they used to haha” But Guys they Genuinely dont #Im going through withdrawls #I need my yaoi cocaine so bad but my plug died 12 years ago and i cant fucking Move #House md capital of fatphobia homophobia transphobia early 2000s edgy humour outshining modern shows with actual rep like im sick #Its not even because i want to like i feel like there are worms in my brain. I feel like ratatoullie if the rat was evil #This is not what the stonewall riots were for #I feel like so nausous why couldnt i be crazy about an actual gay pairing like a normal gay person. Im gonna throwup #Why couldnt i like music and girls #Its not even that house md is objectively logically better than these shows like no. Im just crazy #Im so sick they make me so sick i feel like there are worms in my head. My head #Dont know when i will ever be onorlmal again. Sorr

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[calvinandhobbes]

good omens + abilene by plains

we don’t need to talk about abilene / ‘cause abilene don’t mean / no life that we’re building, no weathering storms / that’s why i don’t talk about abilene no more.

#I COULDNT CONAITN IT ANY LONGER #haven’t been normal about them at all. ive deceived you all this is what the inside of my brain has been looking like for over a month #whatever. watch video #it actually felt so nice to make this i missed video editing <3 #good omens #goodomensedit #j makes vids #mine