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#WHATEVER. i dont have anything else to say. probably.
skullvgirl · 22 hours
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a strange dream | barou
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incl. barou 🎀 ( he would kill me )
warnings. completely sfw, fluff, school!au, fem reader, very much ooc, slow burn
an's. i missed him so much i had to revisit
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BAROU probably hasnt got any interest in you before your relationship, not in a bad way but lets be honest—he's a soccer addict, he definitely wouldn't notice you until well, he did.
you're both sitting in math class (which did i mention had one hell of alot of students) and someone from the other side of the room asks to pass a note to you, rumor has it they've got a crush.
eventually the note ends up in the large hands of Barou Shouei and he's of course expected to pass it along to you but doesn't see anyone ahead of him expecting to receive it from him. he's confused—who the hell was yn ?
its his bad—he really wasnt to familiar with anything not soccer related.
he looked around, then finally decided to give the piece of paper back to the person he got it from—whoever that was.
you look at barou confused, so the paper was for you? you had originally gave it too him because you weren't sure if the people mumbling in the back of the classroom were really talking about you or not.
you opened your mouth to whisper-yell at him, but he wasn't paying attention to you anymore, his eyes trained on the teacher once again.
you uncrumpled the paper, trying to be as quiet as possible in the dead silence, but with no luck.
"yn?!"
shit
"yes miss?", you hid the paper under the desk, trying not to make eye contact with the 28 other students that had eyes on you.
"care to share with the class whats so important that you need to be passing notes in my class?"
fuck
reason #1 why you really hated this class, your math teacher was a fucking bitch.
'mean girl giggles' echoed throughout the room, barous eyes paying special attention to what you were about to do.
you dreaded the feeling of being forced to stand up in front of the entire class and read aloud whatever was written on the small note.
"get to it missy"
oh fuck off
you looked around the classroom trying to assess anyone who may have been distressed or embarrassed but with no luck, everyone seemed to be waiting on you.
weird...
"im serious yn. if you dont start reading in the next 10 seconds im going to—"
"no, no thats okay—i-im reading"
for whoever wrote me this, i am so sorry.
you cleared you throat in preparation for the humiliation you were about to face, curses be upon you miss peterson.
"hi, i think your really cute, we should go out sometime together, from..."
your heart stopped.
oh no this cant be right
"thats it."
"thats it?" the teacher probed, slowly making her way towards you.
"that it. i-it just says from your secret admirer after that nothing else".
your math teacher narrowed her eyes, looking closely at your expression—she didn't buy it.
dont breakeyecontactdont break eye contactdont breakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontact—
"really..."
"really!" you broke eye contact.
she pointed her nose upwards, probably as high as possible and began walking towards your desk.
"alright then i wanna see it, i need to have it confiscated"
"what?!, why?" oops you said that kinda loud. the class whom had previously lost interest when you finished reading turned back towards you and miss peterson now intrigued.
"well why not?! it was a distraction in class and now it needs to be taken away to make sure it wont be a distraction again...!"
but that doesn't make sense, if you care so much about us passing notes you should take our notebooks not the gosh dang note !
"but that doesn't make sense—" but you didn't get a chance to finish as the teacher viciously snatched the paper from you and spun around back towards her desk.
you sat down and burried your hands in your face, you couldn't watch this.
"oh this looks fun...says it's from barou shouei, not what i was expecting...not what i was expecting at all..."
fucking kill yourself, PLEASE
the class, which had previously been dormant erupted in a series of raging giggles and screams—shocked at the reveal of who the note was from.
a soccer player.
it was no secret in BLLK High that nobody—under any circumstance—was to mess with a soccer player. they had a bit of a reputation going on. even the nice ones.
" 'cuse me?" a commanding and masculine voice emerged from your left side and you turned as quickly as possible to the over 6 foot ( 182 cm ) tall man trying to explain yourself.
fuck, one day you were seriously gonna kill your math teacher.
"no, no no i promise it's not like that—i seriously don't know who made this i promise it wasn't from me and i know it wasn't from you—"
"you're yn ?" he cut you off smoothly, leaning back in his seat ever so slightly.
"huh?"
his knees were facing yours now. "you're yn right? been wondering who that was for the longest, guess i know now, cool."
"huh?"
okay now you were confused—about multiple things actually. #1, barou shouei, the man you'd been sitting next to for almost a full year now had yet to learn your name untill just now which is—gosh, just outrageous even for a soccer player
and #2 he wasn't toltally angry and going to kill you like everyone said he would have, should you make a fool of him?
no seriously someone explain what was happening.
you didnt get a chance to ponder on your thoughts much longer however, the bell rang loudly in your ear and soon everyone including yourself was making way for the door out the classroom.
what the fuck just happened, what the actual fuck just happened.
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"heyy ! yn over here !" you didnt realize it but you apparently had auto-piloted your way all the way through lunch and was now being called over by people you've never talked to a day in your life—and you knew exactly what it would be about.
could this get any worse
you were about to find out. "yes...?" you asked, tray still in hand while you stood awakwardly by the trash can near the lunch table who called you over.
"soo—wait first sit down, we're friends we're friends, sit down first" one of the girls said, patting a seat next to herself eagerly.
you looked at the eyes on you and quickly made a decision to move.
there definitely here to ask me about him. it can't be that bad right? i think her name is ashley? i don't know maybe this'll be fun, maybe they'll be nice.
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"so have you guys had sex?"
"what?! no—"
"have you guys even ever kissed yet?"
"no—"
"we used to talk you know", this one was from ashley, a pretty blonde haired girl who's blue eyes sparkled like marbles.
"really?"
she was attractive that for sure but and you could definitely see why some people would wanna date her but barou? not so much.
"really"
like in what world would some super macho super mysterious soccer guy get the hots for some popular pretty blonde girl? not to mention an obnoxious pretty blonde girl.
gosh i sound like a pick me right now, who knows maybe they really did talk
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"didn't even know her name" barou said, cracking his neck from side to side.
"seriously man?" asked isagi, popping a fry in his mouth.
"dead serious"
this was the soccer table, a table where only the best of best players would sit for lunch, not that it was official or anything—but new students were warned not to go near The Table anyway.
"so you did ask yn to prom?"
"no bachira, i didn't ask her how many times to i have to say that, i barely know her anyways"
"untill today" kunigami confirmed.
"until today" barou repeated.
"would you though?" chigiri asked, he glanced over at your table—you were pretty that much was obvious but it was barou we're talking about, who knows what he thought of you.
"nah, couldn't."
"why not? shes not ugly" nagi questioned albeit a bit insensitively.
"shes not but..." he trailed off, stringing his eyes from nagi to you, she looks kinda...
"but what"
"i don't want her thinking we're dating after prom or somethin', gotta focus on the game."
"what if i did then, think she'd say yes?" it was reo speaking now who was now also looking at your table.
"nah, your uncanny resemblance to a donkey might turn her off"
The Table laughed as reo scowled at the other players, he didnt find it very funny.
"shut the fuck up shouei, i didn't hear her accepting your undying love now did i?"
"thats because i never really asked her dipshit"
"your point! still better than knowing your rejected as a default"
"is it though?" barou was almost smiling at the purple headed boy.
"oh really? watch me"
the table made boyish "ooo"-ing sounds and reo stood up confidently.
shouts erupted from the table, causing the whole cafeteria to turn towards the players, they payed them no mind however, only staring intently at where reo was walking.
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"look, look, look! one if them is coming over here right now!"
"really?!"
you whipped your head around towards where the whole cafeteria's attention had been directed.
nononon, this cannot be happening. you seriously did not need another soccer players thinking you were some freak weirdo because someone else wanted to be messy!
"thats reo, he's super fucking rich, i heard he has a whole two backyards !"
"and an a theater room!"
great, and it was a rich snob kid too.
"does yn sit here?"
your table said nothing, even the loud ashley kept quiet while he was talking. everyones heads turned to you, waiting expectantly for you to say something.
"yeah thats me..." you said meekley.
reo smiled and curled his finger towards himself a few times, asking you to come to him.
this is so awakward
you stood up silently and walked over to where reo was. he didn't stop directing him towards you until you were standing right up against him, close enough to where he could grab your jaw and yank your ear towards his mouth.
"you're hot, go out with me"
your eyes bludged, and your heart accelerated way more than it should have. that was NOT what you were expecting.
reo let go of your face, his hands were in his pockets as he waited for your answer, he looked confident tou would say yes. and most people would, but this was a soccer player we were talking about—and this one specifically was known for being super rich, super smart and a super hoe. three things you couldn't be bothered to even try giving a chance with.
you glanced behind him trying to peer at the damage that had been done.
holy shit the whole fuking cafeteria is looking
"so?"
you were snapped back into reality as reo looked at you, still waiting for an answer. it was pretty obvious what you were going to say.
"no. im sorry but no, i hardly know you and you're really not my type, sorry."
your table made all types of noises as they watched the now humiliated boy bite a scowl and walk back too his table.
you quickly sat back down and watched as The Table made fun of reo's rejection. all the players were laughing but you were only looking at one.
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"said i wasn't her type". The Table erupted in laughter, all the players except reo cackling like animals.
"fucking told you so, at least get to know the girl before you start trying to hit on her" isagi joked, slapping reo on the back repeatedly.
"no for real, dont know what made you think she would fall for you in a day, not all girls are so easy you know" kunigami shook his head.
"what did you say too her anyways?" nagi asked now curious as to what got him such a harsh rejection anyways.
"didn't say nothing, js asked her if she wanted to go out, said no, that's it." reo reiterated bitterly.
"knowing him it was probably something like 'youre hot, lets go out'" barou said offhandedly, distracted by the feeling of eyes on him.
"you could hear?" reo asked, now confused.
The Table went silent for a moment and isagi burst out laughing when he realized what reo had just said.
"so you did really say that?!"
the emmbarassment for reo only cotinued further but barou wasn't paying attention to that. the eyes from before were still on him.
it was you.
cute...
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BAROU isnt really much of a romantic either, he hasn't got the headspace for it like he does for soccer, so of course—he's not seeking the love. the love is seeking him.
1 week later
you sat quietly in the school library studying like a madman for finals, it was just near the end of the school year and you were determined to get good marks on all of the subjects.
the library was the most perfect and quiet place to relax and work at the same time—without any distractions or problems to bother you from your job.
"excuse me?"
you glanced up to where the voice was coming from and your heart felt like it was going to explode.
it was none other than barou shouei in the flesh.
a whole week, a whole week you had managed to somewhat avoid his presence and pretty much ignore him during math ( your teacher denied you request to switch spots ) it was going fine untill—well, now.
"can i borrow your computer charger? mine just died and a left mine at home"
that was it?
you didn't really know what to expect from the man though. he was known to be pretty brutal on tbe field maybe you were assuming he'd be the same in real life.
although i guess i shouldn't think that considering how chill he was over the fake confession and all of that...
"oh yeah sure, I uh can let your borrow it no problem"
"thanks"
barou took your charger without another word and walked back over too his seat.
the racing in your heart was begining to subside, that wasn't so bad...
you shifted to get comfortable in your seat and began studying once again, right now where was i...
"excuse me?"
and just as you were getting comfortable. barou shoei again.
"yes?"
"sorry im back so soon but, could i sit here for a little bit. the outlet by my table isnt working for some reason" he said it in a polite tone but seemed eager for an answer, he was probably in a rush to get as much study time in before practice like most athletes were.
he really isnt as scary as i thought he'd be...
"yeah of course that's fine, it's better this way anyway, wont forget you had it in the first place ya know" you smiled moving your belongings over to make room for his.
"thanks"
barou set his things down and soon enough a static silence ensued over the both of you, not that you minded though. you still needed to get work done and it was better he wasn't attempting to make conversation with you. it is a bit awkward though...
"you color coded your pens"
the voice that emmited from the other side of the table almost made you forget who was there.
"i did, why?"
"nice, i did too"
barou didnt wait for an answer, but instead pulled out a all black pencil pouch to reveal all seven colors of the rainbow line up in order.
jeez, i just think it looks cool, his has all the pen hooks facing up too, ocd much?
that wasn't the main point though, what was more important was his sticker—on thst rested sturdy on his bag. "you watch graves anatomy too?"
he looked surprised when you mentioned the show, and nodded his head appropriately. "yeah, and im all caught up too, all 22 seasons and counting."
"holy hell, im only on season 12 how to even time for that—aren't you always having games and stuff, scince your on varsity and all..."
barou quirked an eyebrow, "mm you know your stuff—i make it work"
now it was your turn to make a face "you make it work...really, its that easy?"
no. the absurbant amount of school work i have is fucking killing me right now plus i've got sisters too take care of so no, it's definitely not easy
thats not what he said though.
"yup, real easy." he nodded his head and although you didn't buy it, it was hardly your place to nag. he didn't seem like someone you should nag.
"uh huh.." you shook your head up and down slow and repeatedly, "for sure, for sure"
"what you don't believe me?" barou moved his chair closer to yours, so close in fact you think your knees were touching, his arms bulged as he rested his hands on his head ; it was hot nice seeing him in a position that wasn't so straight .
"no i do, you seem really responsible im sure you're great at 'making it work' " you put a thumbs up.
gosh, could you be anymore awakward...
"oh im responsible ? you would know that im responsible?" barou questioned, leaning even closer on his arms towards you.
is he...flirting with me?
you laughed and covered your mouth with your hand leaning slightly away as he got closer.
"i mean yeah" you paused to swipe away the nonexistent dust from your eyes, you just couldn't hold the eye contact.
come on, dont get shy now yn.
"people talk, i guess."
"do they?"
"they do" you nodded your head firmly up and down, since it was the only thing you were sure you could do at the moment.
"mh"
mmh?!? the fuck does that mean ??
"so yn i wanna ask you a question" barou leaned back as he said this, finally returning to his normal position.
holy shit my heart was beating so fast, somebody get me on a stretcher and to the hospital NEOW, i am about to blow!
"yeah?"
barou stayed silent for a few moments, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.
"hypothetically..." he paused, staring directly at you.
"hypothetically..." you confirmed.
"hypothetically if someone, other than reo from the soccer team—just as an example lets say...yoichi ! remember hypothetically speaking—asked you out on a date what would your answer be?"
huh?
"what kind of question is that?"
"a hypothetical one" he said matter of factly.
"a hypothetical one, right, well if—hypothetically of course—i was asked out by isagi, om a date that is...i don't know...yeah? I guess i'd day yes?"
"really, you would?" he looked surprised and you suddenly felt alarmed, was that a bad thing or something??
"yeah? i mean no, not really—maybe not if he asked the way your friend did..."
"mhm"
??? again, what does that mean?
A moment of silence passed between the two of you and you tried and failed at going back to the work you were supposed to be doing in the first place.
"what about chigiri?" he said suddenly.
"chigiri? what do you me—"
"chigiri. pretty, has red hair, plays on varsity and is super fast? chigiri. would you say yes too him?"
"i mean, maybe, yeah he's definitely not ugly and i guess if i knew him well enough I would probably say yes—why are you asking me this?"
barou said nothing and suddenly, the strangest thing began to happen—he looked at you smiling—a large, uncanny smile resembling a creepypasta monster formed from on his face, your heart began to beat but for the wrong reasons.
"wake up yn" it was definitely barou's voice but it sounded far.
"huh?" you couldn't move, and you now realize you probably couldn't move for a while.
what...is happening...
"wake. up."
your head shot up from your arms, ans you looked around disorientedly.
oh...
up untill about the last 30 seconds you were a bit disappointed it had to end. your dream that is.
"yn", a voice—much deeper than you recall im your fantasies spoke out to you as you felt a tap on your shoulder.
it was barou. the real barou.
"i baroued your charged?" he said holding it out towards you. (an's. IM HALARIOUS LAMOSJKWIS)
"oh. right sorry, thanks." you took the cord from him. but he didn't leave, still looming over you in his tall stature he spoke again.
"uh, you got a little.." he pointed to the corner of his lip, scratching at it in expectation for you to do the same.
you did, softly at first, not really sure what is it he was implying but quickly realized what he meant after you felt a crusty dry substance still left from your unconscious.
oh..
oh !
"ive got drool on my face haven't i" he nodded his head, and you swore you saw grin appear on his face—a real one but he turned and walked away before you could make confirm.
"thanks for the charger yn, see ya later"
his back was facing you now, slowly getting smaller and smaller at he walked away from you.
seriously ! could i be anyless embarrassing for even a second!
im afraid not yn.
because according to barou, he thinks your little moments of embarrassment and humiliation were pretty damn cute.
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BAROU is never scared. he hardly ever get worried, he's king and one of the best players in his school, he's top of his class always and struggles—never. so why? why was it now, over some so trivial that he was all thoes things he never gets all at once?
1 week later, in the classroom.
barou felt weird.
the truth is, he didnt need a partner for the social studies project. his teacher was allowing groups of two or singles all the same. his reasoning behind why he wanted a partner is what was scaring him.
after almost an entire year, barou realized that you not only were in his math class, but his social studies as well. and his history, and biology—even his orchestra ( he plays cello in case you were wondering ).
he realized that you were everywhere.
barou, for the first time was recognizing someome else, not on the team, not an adult, but a girl, he was acknowledging a girl, as more than nothing.
it was weird.
"yn."
you peered up at him, wide-eyed and adorable. "work with me on the project"
your eyes, (e/c) and beautiful, got impossibly larger.
"yeah—uh—sure we can"
he gave a thumbs up, and went back to his seat.
what am i doing?
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"i dont know, maybe we can exchange numbers instead?"
"yeah thats better, since im hardly on social media anyways"
even though you've got so many followers..
"alright cool"
you and barou were in the library, again. instead of dreaming about his muscles however, you were watching them in real time move for your phone and yours the same.
there wasnt mych said after that, only short words to communicate what part of the project you both were supposed to work on, untill...
"yn?"
"yes" and once again, you were looking at him, wife eyed and adorable.
"i've got a question to ask you"
no way, did i fall asleep again?
you sucked in a breath, and pinched your cheeks, not paying any attention to the words that might come out of his mouth.
"ow!" nope, you were definitely awake.
barou raised an eyebrow and couldn't hold himself in. he burst out laughing and you we're glad the library waw empty, because in all his seriousness—barou's laugh was loud. like the sort of thing you'd been holding in for a while.
"what yn, afraid you're gonna fall asleep again?"
your cheeks heated up an intense amount.
"no..."
"you're funny you know, really funny"
"huh?!" you squeaked, shifting all over in your chair. "what does that mean"
barou leaned in close to your face, so close that your noses were touching.
"it means..." he tilted hid head sidewards, waiting for your permission.
"i think you're the stupidest most adorable person to exist..." you didn't move away.
and like a shock, barous lips were on yours so softly it made it feel very much like a dream, but it wasn't.
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an's. i know this is not himmm, he wouldn't even look at you after a supposed fake letter i knooow, i couldn't think of a better way to force it ( i was lazy ) and he's cute let me live.
an's. i rushed the end i knoww, leave me alone. i like writing for personal enjoyment shhhhhh.
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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and if i say hehe
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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brightokyolights · 3 months
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Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*
#to explain we will have person A - person B and then me#so person B is asking me if its ok to buy stuff from ebay - because i am a person that tries to avoid buying from amazon etc#and im like yeah should be because its independent sellers mostly - to be fair though yall. i barely buy anything online because i hate#online shopping. i try to buy things in person instead#anyways insert person A whos like 👁👄👁 oH aRe YoU oNe Of ThOse PeOpLE ThAt DoESNt pUrCHasE frOm AmAzON#yall im sighing just thinking about this conversation omfg its so stupid#anyways queue me explaining that yeah. i try to avoid it if i can because i dont like my money going to some motherfucker who doesnt need#the money (person B pipes in that jeff bezos is on the way to becoming a trillionaire which is Not Good 🙃 . thank you B now i will go on)#A then goes on to explain all the benefits to amazon “what if you want something the next day” i ask if theres really anything you truly#need right away like that. we used to live in times where you would have to wait or find it in a shop. A says “oh but its so cool and#convenient“ and i say sure. because they have the money and grew their business of being more 'convenient' than other businesses#A says “oh but the customer service is so good. if i want a return theyll do it straight away with no questions and maybe even give me#credit too“ and im like yeah. because they can afford to do that. ”sometimes independent sellers are in there too“ ok so buy from them then#If You Must but i can guarantee you mostly dont. not to mentuon theyre probably only on there in the first place because amazon has made it#so its one of the most popular places to use instead of anywhere else#and it went on. i just stopped talking eventually because it eas one of those situations where the other person was not fucking listening to#the point i was trying to make. which is that if you really have to. ok do it whatever. i get that its a bit impossible to avoid sometimes#im not gonna sit here and pretend when ive not been able to get something anywhere else i havent got it from there. but the point is to#actually think about WHY youre buying stuff and WHO the money is going to. because websites like amazon especially have created such a trend#of overconsumption. that you just buy stuff and then buy prime because oh its so cheap and useful and comes right the next day! and you dont#consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!!#lord i could go on but i shant#point is. genuinely do what you want like deep down i do not care it does not affect me and i know its not so straightforward#but people who just BLATANTLY and actively SUPPORT rich people (forgot to mention A kept talking about how the whole site was smart and that#Jeff was a genius blah blah) can you sit and realise that this whole system and that FUCKING Imbecile of a man are!!¡! a problem!!#i wish i could articulate it better but im leaving it at that#good morning yall xD#le text post
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pangolen · 7 months
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i am ALMOST done with chants of sennaar but i have work in the morning so i need to stop for the night
#aaaaaaa#also i'm laughing cuz i think the bards are the only ones with a different word order?#and the way it's translated kinda implies that like. it's a fully stylistic choice on their part#they're just speaking that way to sound more poetic or whatever#i love it#also i didn't check before i shut my computer down#but i wonder if there's like a. Hard Mode where you DONT get the english translations#& you have to compare everything to the devotee's language#i think that would be fun#& when u come across a new word the devotees don't have then u just gotta remember it#or maybe u gain a new devotee character#this is probably not a real mode#but it's one i would like to play#saw someone in a comment somewhere say this would be a good way to learn a new language#and yeah probably something Like this#but at the same time. the way the game is set up it'll just give you the answer sometimes#or else you accidentally yourself into a faulty translation#i've played a couple language learning games before#there was one where you run around a town and talk to people which was interesting#but i don't know that i really learned anything from it#and another that was like. the 3d game equivalent of flash cards#which is not how i learn#and also it made me motion sick#i've gotten off track#anyway this game is fun#if u were interested in heavens vault but didn't like all the dialogue or the controls this might be up ur alley#(i'm not dissing heavens vault btw i think it's rad. this is a 'it was almost for you' rec)#cos also has a point and click mode but it's usually pretty smooth
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toastsnaffler · 7 months
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i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐
#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game'#fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!!#i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all#literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt#if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i.#all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion#i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!!#dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle#i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool#and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it#i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!!#why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add#and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3#man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk-#to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want#ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever.#might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go#.vent#listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing
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arolesbianism · 9 months
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Dude istg if the colab doesn't add one of cotl's actually cool bosses I'm gonna cry
#rat rambles#I get that they very much Have to be inherently lamer just due to dont starve's lack of movement options#but I just want Something I can give a proper shit abt yknow? someone Id want to fight because its cool even if the fight is kinda eh#cotl could just do whatever with adding bosses if they decide to rly theyd probably go more ham than in the original#but Im gonna be honest I doubt that cotl is gonna add any new bosses#mostly because cotl is a much more liniar game and finding a place to fit new bosses would be tricky#like unless they rly wanna commit That hard and add like a whole new area for donr starve bosses but again. I doubt it.#I coulddddd see a sort of pergatory miniboss rush tho if theyre feeling spicy?#like idk maybe there can be a purgatory branch that includes a handful of dont starve bosses and/or enemies where you unlock follower skins#again I just genuinely dont know how this colab is gonna look on the cotl side of things#at worst this rly could just be a skin exchange and nothing else tbh fjdkhskdu#cotl gets a few new follower forms dst gets a few item skins and both parties move on with their lives#I sincierly hope that doesnt happen but it is possible especially considering the very quiet announcements from both parties#idk Im chosing to trust that theyre going to at least add one or two new items#idealy we get a boss or two along with said items but we'll see#my main concern rly is just that the dst animation team would look at cotl bosses and go yeah no thanks#not that cotl bosses are all too complicated or anything but for a colab event it might be a bit much of a workload#but if I had to pick a most likely cotl boss to get to dst Id say barbados probably#not for any real reason it just feels like the most iconic mini boss to me#plus itd probably be easier to impliment into dst gameplay wise#other options could be the very first guy but that would be boring and maybe a witness but that would also be boring#I do think a witness is more likely of the two tho and would be a good potential canidate for a second boss#mostly because I doubt anyone cares enough abt the witnesses that theyd be upset if they completely changed its attacks lol#I hate the witness fight btw I would be the number one dst witness is better truther no matter how lame the fight was#as for dst bosses in cotl deerclopse is an obvious one but I could see them going with dragonfly tbh#mostly because I just feel like shed fit nicer in the cotl artstyle and also could fit easily into several cotl common boss gimics#if I were to go morw unrealistic tho the pugalist would fit wonderfully in cotl tbh#both design and gameplay wise it wouldnt even need to be adjusted that much tbh just throw a few more projectiles on that bitch and ur good#I could also 100% see them doing toadstool honestly thatd be my number 1 pick as far as dst exclusive bosses go I think#like toadstool rly is just so cotl boss coded tbh again just throw a few moee projectiles on that bitch and your good
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mwagneto · 1 year
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ok so which part of "i dont want to have in depth discussion about the war on my silly fandom blog that i (and probably a lot of people who would end up seeing said discussions) use to get away from my real life where there is a war and 500 other horrors" is so hard to get
#mf i got like 10 asks about it bro i dont want to think about it !!!!!!!!!!#can i just dissociate and look at funney posts and gifset once every few days without#ppl treating me like a political blog. i already said all my opinions if u want them that bad just read them again#like questions about basic shit are fine but im not getting into deep political stuff that's not why this blog exists#if i post an opinion there's like a 90% chance it's coz i broke out of my dissociative slumber for#a few seconds in order to have A Thought ™ and I'll never think about it again. if you agree and#wanna expand on it that's one thing but im not a debate club and im especially not a discourse blog#anyway. dont send me asks that prompt discussions on the war or inflation or anything like that#i cant do anything about it and the more i think about it the worse it gets. ion wanna#log on here and open my ask box only to see 5 more asks about your russia headcanons especially when it's#straying into conspiracy theory level shit#im not a newspaper im just some mentally ill guy im here to look at gifs . please#barking#like again idk how to phrase this without sounding like i dont want any asks#asks about fandom discourse are always welcome. i might not publish it if the take is too hot but i always enjoy them#questions like ''how do you feel about /current bad thing/'' are ok but if it's#something I've been asked before i probably wont have anything else to say#essays about the war/economic crisis/housing crisis/etc... no ? please ? im just trynta enjoy whatever show im insane about currently#on here anyway. escapism and all
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............ ultimate somng
#i'll go a few months without hearing this and then for some reason I do again and I go insane#especially the very opening first section ....hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#I like the orchestral version too but the piano one just has a different vibe in some ways#again I'm not really a big music person (in terms of listening to/being a fan of stuff. I like to make music and experiment with instruments#but like I've never been in a band fandom or or been to concert or cared about anything in a pop culture type way) I just have like#a list of some hyper specific songs with specific tones that I listen to like 400x in a row until I get tired of them and then#choose to listen to somehting else 400x in a row until I enetually circle back to one of the ones I already listened to 400x in a row#I rarely ever put music on in the backgroudn while doing things or treat it as an activity it's more of like.. a fixation or something#I go through 'music phases' where I just feel like listening to music as an ativity for a little while and then dont again for a few months#and when I do it's like the same songs 400x in a row again but gyhbhj#or sometimes cycles through a few songs or something but all on repeat#NONE of which are ever like related to each other in any way but are jus what my brain wants to hear 4998898 times for some reason#my most recent music phase rotation was - 'moses fantasy' by paganini. 'luxury' azaleia banks. the fucking charles darwin natural selection#song from horrible histories. rock the casbah??? (idk why for a few days i just wanted to hear it ghhj). the succession opening theme.#'Ludacrismas' even though it's the middle of summer. and 'I just wanna dance with you' - starpoint..lol.. ALSO for a period of#like 2 days I was mentally preoccupied with that meme edited version of that genghis khan song that instead makes it say 'mingus kingus#' or 'i get a little bit dingus bingus' or whatever hbjhbhj.. If you don't know some of those go look them up. then put them all#in a youtube playlist and put it on repeat 6000x. this will give you a tiny snapshot into one aspect of my current mental landscape.#Really want to do a kazoo cover of Moses Fantasy. literally imagine how annoying that would sound on a loud abrasive kazoo#and ALSO how probably annoying parts of it would be to try to do ghhbjb.. the super high pitched violin but desperately squeaked#through the raspy cadence of a dollar store kazoo.... this is my design#okay im listening to it again HGHBHJ the fast parts.... just *frantic squabbling into a kazoo that's not even accurate*#ANYWAY.. I don't talk about music often because like most things I am also not capable of consuming music in a Normal Way and am defintely#not a cool trendsetter or someone with GoodOpinions to share. one of my favorite songs is something I heard in a commercial when I was#7 years old and nothing has ever topped it so.. ghbjhb.. .I am dictated not by popular media or trends but by an obscure series of algorithm#s performed by tiny squirrels that live in my brain who randomly pick and choose songs to suddenly resurfance into my conscious#'Remember that thing you heard a snippet of in school music class when you were 6? find it NOW on youtube. listen 500 times. now'#'then also literally don't listen to music again for 3 entire months until the next 4 day period where you listen to one thing on repeat'#ANYWAY ANYWAY.. obsessed with this ravel song again. also still in the grips of the charles darwin one unfortunately ghbhjbhj#brain is just a mix of *dreamlike ethereal piano* NA TU RAAAL SE LEC TIOOONNN *twinkling piano again* hGGMM... yeaaAA
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arthur-r · 1 year
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hi how is everybody doing??
#im ok im a little bit terrified about how i’m graduating in a couple seconds#by which i mean months but it feels that way#and like hooray i get to move away and be transgender and study history and help people and everything i’ve always wanted to do#but also. the kids in my graduating class. i dont know all of them. a lot of them hate me. but at least they’ve been familiar faces#and the idea of going away to a college where nobody knows my name is kind of terrifying#like i know the entire point is to reinvent myself. but isn’t that scary?? i’m going to become somebody new and that terrifies me#anyway i’m so normal regular. in other news i’m about to have a cranberry orange muffin. so wish me luck with that#anyway there’s this girl i kind of like and i kind of wanted to say something but now it’s kind of pointless#she’s going to the u of m. i’m going to wisconsin. that’s just the end of the road isn’t it??#nothing is strong enough to say anything. but the problem is it’s like this in high school and i go to college and reinvent myself#then what?? i leave college and reinvent myself again!!!! get a masters reinvent myself again!! move towns reinvent myself again!!#struck by the realization that nothing in life is ever permanent except for death. how terrifying is that#anyway i am so normal and regular and cool and good feeling. everything will really truly be okay it’s just#idk. it’s weird being at this stage in my life. didn’t mean to ramble on like that though#so anyway i hope you all are well and would love to know how you are doing. other than this stuff i’m just hanging out#sending all the love to my senior friends who are in this predicament. and my junior friends who aren’t here yet. and whoever else shdhdf#but especially my friends who are my age or like a year older who are in this same kind of soon-to-be-overwritten high school experience#wish you the best of luck finishing and starting over. and try not to take it as seriously as i’m doing its probably not that bad rationally#and so anyway i hope you are doing well and let me know how you’ve been!! hope everybody is okay#ask to tag idk if this was vent territory but it was like. kinda nearly. i can tag with whatever#me. my post. mine.#college talk#(sorry!!)#delete later
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oflgtfol · 2 years
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everyones all like wah i have wrist problems bc im an #Artist yeah well waht about ganglion cysts. Wheres my ganglion cyst gang at
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#so theres this terrible thing i do where i force myself to get up way too early and go into the lab before anyone else#bc i get overwhelmed when lots of ppl r around. its terrible bc if u do that over and over it kinda breaks ur brain#but there is something i like abt walking around while its still dark out and on ones on thr roads looking up at the stars and theyre all#haloed here bc theres actually moisture in thr air here. i feel. idk how i feel. more normal i guess. like neutral but in a negative way.#like i dont really care about anything. probably im just tired. i haven't been sleeping well. maybe its the birth control#which im still taking bc im too curious abt how my mood fluctuates when my hormones r controlled. or maybe its my mood. but ive been tired#and ive not been having fun. i just feel like im very no thoughts empty head. here's info do u have anything to say abt it? any observations#? no. no. cant read cant think cant talk in a way that makes may sense. what do we do abt it? i dunno. i dunno.#sleep maybe. stop taking the birth control maybe. talk to my councilor monday definitely. give her an insane rant abt how im definitely not#bipolar lol i think ive got a point. but i go back and forth idk. it doesn't really matter. i just find it interesting#sigh. remember when i had time to draw? remember when i wanted to draw? now im just tired#whatever. ill sleep and feel better. get my executives to function maybe. maybe. but probably not#i did cut off like 3 inches of hair on impulse. got that chin length depression haircut. classic#unrelated
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snekdood · 1 year
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I for one enjoy creating things i feel proud of and dont want to have to go back and work on again 3738393873 years in the future
#i for one dont like regretting creating something lazily when i wanted it to look a certain way with more effort#i for one think trying and challenging yourself and your ability to achieve your goals is good#if me 'going back to fix things' happens like. about 3 years after ive posted it- then that means i wasnt satisfied w it when i posted it#in the first place. i plan to do that w my comic kinda but thats more or less with coloring and after like 2-3 years of not coloring#everything in i think id probably just leave it black and white#but i wouldnt say that its necssarily unfinished. i finished it and maybe ill add on to it.#as far as im concerned. unless i clarify something is a wip everything i post online is finished as it is.#but im not about to post it until i think its actually finished#and not just 'sufficient'#but das just me#idk hard to have an opinion here bc i like all of my art both when i make something w a lot of effort and even when i dont try at all#ig i just dont feel the urge to post the pics i dont feel like *other* people think is good enough to see#like on here i feel like i have to have an *aesthetic*. my art blog has to all flow together#but when i used to be on deviantart i had scraps or other places i could put pics that the more pretentious artists wouldnt like#so even if my ~pretty~ art was what ppl saw first i was still posting everything else. i had it all in one place#but unless i wanna fill my art blog w a bunch of black and white images n shit and totally fuck up the *currated aesthetic* then idk#idk if i want to do that. i want to post about my characters and such but a. no one gives a fuck about anything on here esp not original-#content.#and b. i do kinda like the aesthetic ive made on my art blog. idk. ill do whatever when i feel like it#im very either or in that way yknw#at least i can say theres stuff im really proud of bc i actually tried.
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