#What an ally

[theymademesignup08]

akumatized villain: Give up Chat Noir! I have your girl!

Chat: She’s not my girl.

Villain: what?

Marinette, who isn’t dating him: what :(

Chat: She’s her own girl, she don’t belong to nobody.💅

#Feminist king #What an ally #Voice of the people #miraculous ladybug #mlb #adrien agreste #chat noir #love square #marinette dupain cheng #marichat #ladynoir #miraculous incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #rip ladynoir

[leothil]

Fdkaldhdkdk help me. TVLine why did you phrase it like this.

#911 #what an ally #bro-ment. ok.

[ato-dato]

Currently on a 9 hour road trip to our home town and it's getting too dark for my mum to read her book so she has started reading aziracrow fanfiction on her phone. Now over to Jeremy with the weather.

#She's reading priory of the orange tree btw. #What an ally #This was too silly for me not to post #Atospeaks #The adventure of my mum being the Nr. 1 aziracrow shipper continues

[chaosbetta16]

#wake up new meme just dropped #im in love with the villainess #bless misha #what an ally

[soulman133]

Tonight’s sunset said aroace rights!!

#what an ally

[pissywiser]

my gay agenda is mentioning byler in everything. english? wrote literal byler fanfiction in class and for homework involving parallels talked about how byler is paralleled to canon couples. rs title page? coloured in green, blue and yellow. on the street? constantly chanting bylerbylerbylerbyler under my breath, causing 431 car crashes, of which 61 were fatal.

hotel? trivago

#gay agenda #im putting it everywhere #you know the meter ruler in my tutor base ships byler #yep #byler #what an ally #lgbtq+

[alexbkrieger13]

The timing of the bird too. Royalty 😂

#just watch the bird #it was ready for its moment #what an ally

[theindefinitearticle]

I love that nona's narration immediately they/thems Naberius!Ianthe before they even meet - before the video feed has even started working! Nona hears that voice and immediately her gender senses start tingling

#i may not know who or what i am but i know theres some gender going on when i hear it #what an ally #tlt #nona the ninth #ntn

[nightmaremybeloved]

so my mom's coworker's son was struggling a lot with zoom classes because he has ADHD, relatable, and my mom was talking to her coworker about this and i guess he said, "yeah i would have to watch him to make sure he was still in class instead of playing minecraft." and instead of having a normal reaction, my mom said, "oh! so then you know Dream?"

#he said. 'i know ALL about dream' #but i think its very fun #my mom is very proud to know about dream #she calls the dteam 'my boys' its cute #what an ally

[moonshotsx]

what to do when your brother finally flies home? make him watch drag race france with you <3

#he’s liking it so far #what an ally

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is #what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid #he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family #and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points #and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better #pflag #parents doing their best #parenting win #good news #allyship

[river-taxbird]

Today my mum was like "I heard your roommate got her hormones. Can you send me the DIY links so I can share them with one of my students? She's 19 so it's all above board."

What an ally.

#what an ally

[stevenrogered]

Perhaps they are enjoying themselves. But how will they know each other if they do not speak?

#bridgertonedit #bridgerton #netflix #netflixedit #dailynetflix #perioddramaedit #perioddramagif #perioddramasource #perioddramacentral #bridgerton spoilers #francesca bridgerton #john stirling #hannah dodd #victor alli #mystuff #i love them #theyre so awkward and happy to be sitting in silence #what good casting #violet bridgerton #gregory bridgerton #hyacinth bridgerton #eloise bridgerton

[sea-buns]

Gorgug Thistlespring is THE realest man

#im dead #what a fucking gift #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #gorgug thistlespring #agent cuspin clark #zac oyama #brennan lee mulligan #ally beardsley

[disneydatass]

Hozier might just be the only cishet man still creating art

*watches eat your young music video*

#iyky #andrew hozier byrne #WHAT AN ALLY #unreal unearth #eat your young #my brain thinks so little of cis str8^tm men I don’t have the capacity to believe he’s not one of us in someway #the basic understanding of the sexism mysoginy homophobia of it alllllllllll #I trust (1) man #he just gets it #hozier #it’s the implications for me

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop