#YALL SOUND LIKE MY PARENTS!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

purgatorily · 8 months

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ohhh we are not entertaining these nonsensical notions of will graham not today not ever

#YALL SOUND LIKE MY PARENTS!!!!#‘poor baby will he’s manipulated and hurt and doesn’t have any agency!’ DIE #mr. killed randall tier with his hands and made him into a monument???#mr. offered frederick chilton up to a serial killer???#mr. BIT OFF A GUYS CHEEK BECAUSE HE WAS FEEL SASSY????#stop. stop it #just shut the fuck up and rewatch the show

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scatterbrainedbot · 4 months

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Hello :D

You're so cool

Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?

You're very cool :D love your stuff dude

(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))

hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!

so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.

Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)

For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.

of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?

for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.

so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3

still,

that fear

never

really

goes

away.....

#cue the 2003 tmnt dramatic Shredder sound effect TM #my art #rat sons #tmnt au #ask reply #TOOK ME A FULL MONTH TO ANSWER AND IM STILL NOT SUPER PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS BUT #also apologies if shits incohierent im v sick rn #but thank you so much for the question copper!!#a parents grief and terror at the thought of outliving their children #always gets me #and boy howdy these rat babies do Not make that shit easy for ol Splinter #all of them have brushed too close to death too many times #tbh thats probably why he started teaching them ninjutsu etc #like yeah yeah discpline and routine and practice all excellent lessons #but also #yall squishy babies and ur father is Stressed please learn to fight good so its one less thing he has to worry about #sorry splints theyre hamatos now theyre destined for danger #cw blood #cw gore

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holographic-mars · 4 days

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IF YOU SHIP SOUNDWAVE WITH RAVAGE DO NOT FOLLOW ME. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME. DO NOT TOUCH MY ART

AND SURE AS HELL DO NOT EXPLAIN HOW MY ART IS SEXUAL IN ANY WAY. ITS WEIRD. ITS GROSS. AND ITS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE

If you think cuddling with your family/friends is inherently sexual and/or romantic you’re weird and I don’t want you near my stuff. I’m sorry your family doesn’t show affection but spoiler alert: it’s normal to show familial/platonic affection with people you care about.

If you follow @ / dontpetmeibite or any of their adjacent accounts, BLOCK ME. I’ve already blocked the people who tagged them in my art and I am more than happy to block you weirdos first.

#WEIRD AND GROSS #OH MY GOD #DUDE WENT INTO DETAIL ABOUT HOW MY ART OF A GUY CUDDLING HIS CAT IS SUGGESTIVE #and went like ‘I don’t know anyone who does that (cuddle) with their friends and definitely not with their mom’#sounds like you don’t have many healthy friendships and definitely don’t have good relationships with your parents #IM SO MAD YALL HAVE NO IDEA #THATS HIS CAT #THATS A MAN AND HIS CAT #ohh my godddd

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get-back-homeward · 10 months

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I know it’s all just standards.

But Ringo’s Sentimental Journey is utterly charming.

We really should talk more about how he turns to this project as therapy as the band is falling apart. It’s pure nostalgia in a bottle but with Ringo jazz drumming and just having fun with it singing and adding these cute little improv bits. Blues Turning Grey Over You is a highlight for the “I just lost myself there, child!” laugh at the end.

It’s all utterly charming.

It’s a really cool collaboration too. He recruited different musicans arrange each piece (including Paul, who arranged Stardust, perhaps before the breakup drama heats up). George Martin produces and gets the big band together. They start recording more sporadically at first, starting Oct 1969. Night and Day, Stormy Weather (which got left off the final album but I love he tried it), Stardust, and Dream, all recorded before Christmas. The rest are Jan-Mar 1970.

It gets ripped to shreds by the rock cred sector. But Ringo using this as a grief project, sorta returning to childhood in the midst of a blow for comfort, feels more honest and healthy than he gets credit for. It’s also brassy af. This is the height of “fuck jazz,” and Ringo’s just like “so what? I’ll do what I like.”

George said he liked it. John slagged him off for it in interviews, but I bet he secretly liked it too. Not sure whether Paul ever commented on it given the dual release drama. He does his own standards album decades later, after it becomes a thing artists do. But when Ringo does it in 1970? No one was doing that.

#sentimental journey #ringo starr #blue turning grey over you #particularly sounds like ringos version of grieving #pringo folks yall should be all over this one #pauls recording all by himself while john and george recruit ringo for their solo work #we know ringo took that hard with that lyric about not knowing if paul will play with him #you always hurt the ones you love #thats why that quotes on his mind #ringo appreciation post #my text #hey hey found that post i thought i lost!#when i say fuck jazz i mean fuck 40s big band #boomers saw it as their parents music and rejected it for decades #ringos like i know its my parents music but its also sounds of my childhood and like a warm blanket and thats kinda beautiful

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dandyshucks · 2 months

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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later #dandyshucks

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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cant believe masumi and sawashiro tried to end generational trauma and one of them got his body dumped in the river and the other was hauled off to jail for murder cause he wanted to make his baby happy

#snap chats #this post sounds insane but let me explain #masumi had a shitty mom sawashiro had a shitty dad #Boom Theres A Baby and its a baby with serious health conditions #bros are doing THE MOST not to be like their shitty parent now my god look what happened #sawashiro i cant confidently say Good Job King cause you did put that baby in a locker and caused this mess #you get an A for effort i guess idk your son called you a lost puppy and thats hilarious #masumi was king tho. bro did anything and everything king you didnt deserve to be ol yellered 😭#masumi and jo being masatos parents But Not Like That has been tickling my brain for days can we tell #its just so funny like. did yall ever talk bout it or was it just a silent acknowledgement #or was masumi just 'oh hes so loyal to the family thats sweet :)' and think nothing else cause i mean Youre Right but my god thats funny #i already made and posted my comic bout it ik but still funny that jo decided killin masumi was too far #blah blah blah cant take out a patriarch but what bout your babys dad blah blah blah lmao #alright im done being insane bye

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bethiewhimsy · 2 years

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LOOK !!!! is it a bird?? is it a plane?!

...oh it’s just bsd brainrot rants =_=

#wasn’t gonna make a bsd brainrot rant but this episode TOOK ME OUT #i sobbed like a child lost at the marketplace y’all #s3e6 (i know i know but The Slump was hitting again and the internet has been extra sucky lately smh) lezzgo #first off: LUCY SCREENTIME LUCY SCREENTIME #i love her she is my queen #also her and atsushi are such a funny and wonderful team aww bless #PLS THE WHOLE FIRST HALF HAD ME SMILING LIKE A GOOFBALL #but then kyoka’s parents’ death scene crashed the party and OUCH OUCH OUCH #that hurt me so much 😭😭😭#her mother was so good!!! can you imagine killing your own husband that you loved and cherished and at his insistence omg that’s horrifying #CRYINGGG #moving on because ;-;#i actually audibly said ‘yay’ when tanizaki came on screen so i guess that has something to say about me #i just think he’s neat y’all very under appreciated #anyway this is random but???? his voice sounds so similar to ango’s and i don’t vibe with that lolol #DAZAI I WILL M U R D E R YOUUU he’s always up to something can’t he go take a relaxing bath or something idk #BECAUSE OMG ?????? THE WHOLE ORDEAL WITH THE HEADMASTER HAD ME GASPING FOR LIFE #I SOBBED SO MUCH YALL #as heart wrenching as it was tho my emotions are so fucking complicated about it #the bastard deserved to die no doubt because what shitty person does what he did #but ???? he still wanted to congratulate atsushi?? bring him flowers and tell him he was proud???? WTF WTF WTF #i saw a bit of atsushi i didn’t think i would though #the borderline psychotic RAGE and sick satisfaction wow wow wow that caught me off guard #im not blaming him not even in the slightest tho #my family and i have helped people get out of abusive households and ive seen that deep rooted fear and anger before and it always hurts me #hurts me so so so much #atsushi in this episode rlly reminded me that he is a victim of heinous abuse #OKAY WAIT AND DAZAI’S ‘MOST PEOPLE CRY WHEN THEIR FATHERS DIE’ AND ATSUSHI IMMEDIATE TEARS HAD ME SOBBING #also??? theory or fact??? headmaster was atsushi’s father???#ANYWAY GOOD EPISODE BUT VERY VERY SAD

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florida3exclamationpoints · 1 year

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Crazy development in my life

#my friends are grtting married in june #she lives here. he lives in another state. originally the plan was for him to move here #turns out cost of living is crazy here and much better there #this now translates to. my best friend is moving to another state in june.#ok. here's the crazy development. i might go with them #not immediately in june #but maybe later this year?#idk. we've just started talking about it. idk how realistic it is #but im almost 20. i dont wanna live with my parents forever. i dont wanna live with my parents much longer period #not like im trapped and i have to escape but like. my life isn't going anywhere rn #and moving into a close apartment is absolutely not an option. not any time soon.#i wonder if i can really start working full time this year. but they said i could stay with them for a while #so its more of a transition than jumping out on my own #also. i could perhaps take bucky with me????? i dont want to jump into more than i can handle #but he just needs work and help and less people #idk idk idk idk #its crazy to think about #but its depressing to think about staying here. doing who knows what with my life. without my best friend #broke and alone akdbakdbsn #does this sound crazy to yall????? am i going crazy???????

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feathery-inferno · 2 years

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i forgot how much my ex pisses me off

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#it would b great if i could control my focus #ive got 10 days to respond with edits for a paper. i have to finish a manuscript #ive got an interview thrusday with a school that i need to prep for. plus another interview next Thursday #but all i want to do is make a powerpoint clarifying what dyslexia is bc i dont think ppl understand #like i didnt understand until this last 2 weeks and i think i probably had higher awareness than #the public anyway. so now im like. they gotta kno. everyones gotta kno #but fuck i have so much to do. i guess maybe this is what ill do instead of reading fanfics at night lol #i just- after talking to my parents last night. my mum is a teacher who has training specifically in understanding how ppl read #and it sounded like how i was talking abt it gave her a lil bit of a new perspective and my dad was like lol me too #and im like yea bro i get it from u lmao #also my mum said i explain things well. and now im like well now i gotta explain things #fucking hell. i just love to give myself unnecessary work. maybe ill do it #i shouldnt. at least not this week. but like its under my skin now and i cant control my attention #so here we r. thinking obsessively abt dyslexia awareness #the results on the survey so far r really interesting. so many of yall have adhd lmao #unrelated

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forestg0ddess · 2 years

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.

#yall I want a whole new like bed frame and I want like a low ride box spring and like I just want a whole new bed situation.#not matress cause my matress is only like a handful of years old but like…#and my parents are planning all that for when I move out but like idk when that will happen.#(I hope that doesn’t sound shady Meara I’m sorry if it does its not meant that way)#but I just want like a whole newbed frame and a box spring that doesn’t put me four feet off the ground

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friedbreadwombat · 2 years

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Me giving my pokemon dumbass names: ha ha

People watching my screen from somewhere in the walls or something:

#the data corrupted and my team died #rip murica i will miss you and your birb wings and aerial ace #i will see you in lavender town my child #why does this sound so much like loss #50% chance of normal name 50% chance of child leaving mother in like 2 decades #why am i so sure someone was named bob #mightyena slaps if you know how to use it some of yall just dont have brain cells and it shows #normalise using early game pokemon in late play tyranitar isnt everything you dumbass you have no idea how hard luxray slaps #you are missing out #its too tiring to get a gible i didnt discover the secret cave I had no patience i dont care garchomp isnt worth it anymore #just use whatever you want no one can stop you so use that buneary bc thats how you get lopunny #i stan pachirisu guy #seriously how is it fun if youre just using like what 4 'good' pokemon because youre scared of losing #love all your children equally not love them like youre a boomer parent #otherwise you raise lifeless soulless children and fixed statpools because yall cant be bothered to try anything else #this is a game for fucks sake have some fun or go put your ego someplace better like overwatch or something #i love cynthia and her garchomp but please #ive committed mass homicide with a bibarel and it was beautifil #underlevelled and all I like doing underlevelled fights #i also just dont care #if grimsley doesnt prove you can kill someone with a purrloin I can do it #games are complicated more than you think and beautiful and fun yall just dont wanna play really

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mossy-covered-bones · 16 days

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Rural accents my beloved

#maybe its bc we moved when i was little so all my friends had rural twangs and my parents had Generic American accents but the clipped word #endings? the slightly slurred together consonants? thats what Friendship sounds like #i feel a lil bad for my roommate bc i slur my words a bit too much when im chilling and shes not used to that? so she mishears me a lot #but also if someone has a rural accent they tend to be a lil more polite?? at least when i worked in food service. at least more friendly #bc yknow. living in a rural area’ll do that to ya #but i notice myself doin things like clippin suffixes and usin ‘yall’ on here bc its informal yknow? tumblr is the Friend Website #idk maybe its just bc its whats familiar #(i know im not immune to making assumptions abt people based on their accents but yknow. i try)#sev rambles

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widevibratobitch · 6 months

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well shit. infodumped too close to the sun o7

#i literally said ONE (1) thing about the actual expedition tonight. as a Fun Anecdote. and she looked at me for a moment and went #'so. this expedition is the thing you're *interested in* now isn't it...' and the thousand alarm bells and red bulbs and sirens #immediately sounding off in my brain were almost comical. its over you guys. we didnt make it. She Knows. nothing left but to admit it.#so yeah. i wasnt careful enough. not as good as i thought i was being at this whole 'im normal and casual about this btw' thing.#and now my mother knows i have a new hyperfixation. the most embarrassing shit ever.#idk but i kinda feel like she hoped id Grow Out Of This. but now im in my 20s and still very much neurodivergent. maybe im hiding it better #(tho apparently not lmao) but yeah. im still. like this.#and im still not straight djddbsksjsk do yall ever get that thing. when you're feeling guilty for not being Normal Enough #like your parents just wanted to have a normal child. but they ended up with a weirdo and they have no choice but to love it. but deep down #you know they wish you were. Less Like This #idk maybe im imagining shit. or maybe im not. fuck knows really.

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mathlann · 9 months

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Not to ever defend EA, but it's always weird/funny to look at Open World discourse on Sims cuz some people will (rightly imo) point out that Sims 3 had a pretty lacklustre record for actually accomplishing what it wanted (Late Night's Clubs, for example), and the common response is to point out wildly different open world games like Skyrim, GTAV, Horizon Zero Dawn, etc.??? Like idk babes there's bigger problems at hand if y'all can't recognize the coding needs between

A) AAA rpg-types with limited perspective and a static/plot-based timeline where NPCs can be programmed with set limited schedules, and where progress happens at the speed of the player action, and

B) A simulation game trying to create a dynamic township, where any housed character can be playable, and is juggling locations, character ages, multiple generations, potential relationship and job changes, etc. Etc. For an extended amount of time.

Like no doubt EA is lazy and greedy as a company and maybe they could make an open world work with a lot of time and the right effort. But also it doesn't hurt to understand that Sims is not on the same playing field as your typical AAA rpg/action/exploration game.

#not to admit to simming on main or w/e #but some of yalls arguments make yall sound like that kind of ppl my parents will be screaming about at work #“y arent you doing (coding thing) in the same way when (coding thing with totally different design priorities) does it just fine?”

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

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