#actually might come back to this not as a vent post but as a genuine ''this is what i think the retail circle of hell looks like''

[autistic-shaiapouf]

The secret 10th circle of hell Dante was unaware of at the time is retail

#we have a lot of substitute pharmacists and all of them are like. this is impossible. you guys literally can't work like this #ive just. given up? i care about the patients but doing the work of 3 ppl to make a number go up? i physically cant do it #and it's universal!! we're all fighting!! my coworker started tearing up in front of me today!! #I'm just. every time i get overwhelmed i ask myself. is this mine? and overwhelmingly. the answer is no #i put in all the effort for what? a shoutout in the group chat? i wanna put my effort towards something i actually care about #whatever doesn't get done doesn't get done and it is not my fault. I'm getting fast food and going home to draw and do stuff #i actually care about. god. god. fucking hostile to life itself. anyways. how's everyone doing this evening #no work tomorrow so i get to map out what i wanna do. wanna finish art. maybe start a business if the stars align #glitters or glimmers is the question... leaning towards glimmers; ive grown fond of it #shai speaks #actually might come back to this not as a vent post but as a genuine ''this is what i think the retail circle of hell looks like'' #working retail is not a sin but the very existence of retail is 😤

[4phr0d17e]

.

#vent post lol //////////// #i NEED to quit my job its destroying my mental health my emotional stability amd its genuinely putting a lot of strain on my relationship #but. i make like 2k aud a week. and im not paying any rent or bills so most of that goes straight into savings #we're saving for a house we only have tp get through another year anyway and then our visas run out #and if we get through it we'll be able to put a massive downpayment on a house and have a really small mortgage and basically be #chill financially for the rest of our lives. (i hope). but we have to get through it first #idk idk idk like is it actually worth it? yes obviously its worth it we're gonna be able to buy a house #but is it worth it? #it genuinely might not be #but idek what we'll do for a living when we move to europe and idek if i want to live in the country we're planning to move to #so i should have as much money behind me as possible when i get to that point to make it easier #but its destroying me. i hate it i hate it i hate it #i work 10-12hr days 5-6 days a week. outdoors. manual labour #and the main reason we save so much is bc we choose to live year round in the onsite accomodation they have for seasonal workers #most ppl stay onsite a bit but have homes in the area they go back to at the weekend or if they arent working too far away #amd we move sites a lot so we only stay places for a couple months tops #its alright rn bc we're staying at a site we really like that does feel like home (even tho the accom is just as shitty and industrial as #the rest) (well not quite as shitty as some but still . shitty) and we're here alone just me and my fiance #but next week other ppl are gonna come stay here and we'll probably be sharing the hut with 1 of them. our best guess is itll be #this one dude who is like . nice and all but hes like 65 years old. and i dont want to share a house with anyone apart from my fiance #especially not a man!!!!! but this is the price to pay for no rent #no privacy no personal space no putting down roots no sense of home no sense of community. no decorating my fucking house #idfk what to do. #delete later

[yanderemommabean]

Venting post (Homelife and abuse I guess)

Sorry for the low energy beans, my abusive grandmas been screeching her lungs out every night for hours on end and demanding the stupidest things, so I haven’t been getting much sleep.

She literally talked to me like a dog today, telling me “Come on, come here girl, come do this for me, come on”. Talk about dehumanizing.

No matter what I say or do she calls me: Lazy, selfish, slobbish, ugly and stupid, and demands that I stay on “her side” when other people tell her to back off in the family. She’ll tell me I’m a piece of shit lowlife even if I do exactly what she wants, or she’ll degrade me and mock me just because she can, and apparently we can’t do anything about that.

She genuinely needs to either die, or go to a mental institution, because my heart can’t take this stress it’s bad enough, and not being able to sleep because she’s a demanding baby is going to end up killing me.

Even if I try to ignore her, being silent does nothing and she’ll threaten more violence or nonsense, or just scream and scream and scream until you’re forced to answer, then acts like she did nothing wrong to warrant your outburst.

Going to my room does nothing, she’s right by me, her yelling and screaming and demanding cannot be blocked out.

I’m aware that I need to leave, but to do that I have to have a place to go, a car to drive, or a friend I trust and I do not have food let alone money and an income to rely on if I moved out. I don’t own a car, I’m trying to get a job DESPERATELY and my friends don’t have any room for me at their place, and have stated as such.

So I’m more or less stressed to the max and wondering why she can’t just be taken somewhere because I cannot take care of her and she refuses to listen to anyone or let anyone rest. Even if you act soft and sweet and caring she’ll spit at you this nonsense and try in some way to threaten or demean you.

There’s no “talking it out” because she doesn’t CARE. She’s never cared, not once.

I’m exhausted and I’ve been putting up with this nonsense for about four or five days now and if I don’t sleep soon and actually rest idk I might be sent to the hospital.

I hate this woman. She’s making me extremely Ill and distressed and for NOTHING.

This was just me venting, sorry loves, she’s up again and so am I so I’m trying to distract myself <3

I love you beans, stay safe and healthy

-Mommabean

#personal #ok to say stuff #ok to comment #ok to say whatever you want I hate this woman #ok to interact #Mommabean

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

I'd Like to Adopt These Side Characters, Please (And Also Make One Arbitrarily To Appease The Vibes)

So, I've already mentioned my plans to write something for our dear single-minute-of-screentime-boys from the FNAF movie. And, as per usual for me, posting some headcanons will help the ideas flow for that WIP. . .

___

Jack Samar

His passengers always are, in fact, "the weirdos." It just seems to happen without fail. College partygoers crashing down from adrenaline (among other things) highs, random drifters that could all probably be in the same cult if you pay attention to detail, that one guy who's all too happy to take advantage of the open secret that the ducks in the park are free. . .Most of the time, it's nothing too serious. But he's still got some very interesting stories here and there.

He's one of the best drivers in town. And that's not just due to his job as a cabbie; he knows how dangerous driving can be, so he takes pride in making sure his skills are sharp. (Seriously, if you've ever driven a car, then you know it's practically a miracle to see someone else on the road who actually knows what they're doing.)

He has a steel-trap memory; he knows every part of town like the back of his hand. Constantly driving on various routes just has that effect on you.

He's a bit of a rescuer. As in, if he happens to see a stray animal while driving, then he'll park, coax said animal into the car, and then drop it off at at the local shelter. If you have him drive you from Point A to Point B, there's a good chance you'll spot a scruffy-looking cat or dog riding shotgun.

If he isn't too tired at the end of his shifts, he'll drive over to Sparky's for a late-night snack before heading home to rest. Both he and Ness are good listeners, so a decent chunk their banter is dedicated to venting about sucky patrons.

He's certainly aware of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaria, as well as the rumors surrounding it, but he never really bothered with the place. And he doesn't plan to start bothering with it after seeing Golden Freddy in the back of his taxi.

Although. . .well, that occurrence might have made him start weighing the pros and cons of trying to get more information out of Mason. (He's very much hesitant about it, of course. Yeah, he was the one to help Mason out, but the assumption of Mason's experience with Freddy's is still far from pleasant.)

(Yes, his name is a pun inspired by Cory's samurai joke. What did you expect from me?)

___

Ness Aeoruhndbt-Ultendera

"Ness" is only his nickname, but he doesn't plan on revealing his full name anytime soon. Not even to his friends, for whatever reason. There's also a bit of an inside joke about how his surname is too long to actually fit on his nametag. (Yes, that gibberish my personal idea for his surname. I spent way more time working on it than I probably should have because I was determined to make a weird/funny reference, so leave me alone, okay?!)

He's been in the restaurant business ever since he was a kid; he's worked in several different joints before Sparky's. Coming from a family of foodies, he truly enjoys what he does, no matter how small-scale. Sure, some days are worse than others, but that's just life.

Similarly to Jack, it's not that uncommon for him to serve some strange characters. (Hell, sometimes the strange characters in question will wave down Jack's cab right after they've finished their meal at Sparky's.) Nothing usually comes of it, but he's still more than observant enough to pick up on certain oddities.

He makes a genuine effort to be polite and outgoing with customers. But make no mistake, he absolutely can, has, and will verbally curb-stomp someone if they push him or his coworkers too far. (Aunt Jane was lucky that her jab was minor. Plus, Ness just had other customers to focus on.)

It's no surprise that he LOVES conspiracy theories. Now, he knows which crackpot rabbit-holes to avoid, but he's still the type to listen to true crime podcasts almost religiously. In a way, researching and brainstorming is a comfort to him.

He's actually developed legitimate friendships with a specific few of Sparky's regulars. (Jack and Mason are part of this camp.) In fact, if there aren't many other customers that need tending to, he'll sit down and chat with them while they eat.

While he's perky during the day, he's still a night owl. It helps that his regular-friends almost always stop by in the late hours. (This has also paved the way for him to become a bit of a coffee-addict, but not to the point of concern. Speaking of which: he takes great joy in people's reactions to his argument that coffee is actually a type of soup.)

Oh, and that rubber-chicken-head-pencil-topper? Its name is Fabio, and Ness has been carrying it for several years now. He can't remember where/when/how he came into possession of Fabio, but you can pry it from his cold, dead hands.

___

Mason Kingsley

I wasn't originally planning to make a technical fanego for the FNAF movie. But after I learned that Mark was intended to make a cameo, I was intrigued. Thus, Mason—aka Trauma Boi—was born. His inclusion here (and in that future story I mentioned) is basically just a "What if?" scenario. As in, A. What if Mark had actually played the role of that first nightguard in the movie, and B. what if he'd actually survived his ordeal at Freddy's. . .?

Please read "survived," as "escaped by the skin of his teeth with grievous injuries and is now sort of dead inside."

Fittingly enough, Jack happened to by passing by when Mason fled the restaurant. It's pretty damn easy to stop for a guy who's covered in blood and cradling a broken arm and screaming for help.

After Jack drove Mason to the hospital, the two of them made an effort to stay in touch. Their respective patronage to Sparky's helps out with that.

Time passed, as it tends to do, and Mason eventually recovered. Keep in mind that the recovery was physical; he's still having night-terrors about animatronic monsters. Just the mention of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaria will make him start shaking and murmuring under his breath, pale and tense.

He absolutely refuses to talk about the incident in detail, but it left some very obvious scars on his neck, chest, and arms. He's constantly trying to keep said scars covered.

Silver lining: shortly after recovering, Mason was able to adopt a therapy pet. Enter Checkers, a golden retriever who's just the best emotionally-tuned girl and is always by his side.

He stops by Sparky's for dinner once or twice per week. He wasn't too receptive to Ness' chitchat at first, but by now they have a solid friendship. (It started when Ness "accidentally" brought out a large side of bacon with Mason's order. Checkers most certainly appreciated that, so it's become a small tradition between them.)

(And just to clarify, because I KNOW someone is gonna read this and take it the wrong way: I'm NOT using this to try and whine about Mark's absence in the movie. It's really not too hard to understand that his own Iron Lung project has kept him INCREDIBLY BUSY. It's an amazing accomplishment for him, so of course it should take priority over a cameo in FNAF.)

___

@sammys-magical-au @that-bat @bee-the-matpat-simp @insane4fandoms

#fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoliers #jack samar #cabbie!cory/jack #coryxkenshin #kenshin egos #cory williams #ness the waiter #waiterpat/ness #matpat #matthew patrick #egopats #mason kingsley/nightguard!mark #mark's abandoned nightguard-cameo-character #markiplier #mark fischbach #fanmade egos #fan egos #(kind of?) #(technically?)

[olderthannetfic]

Two anecdotes about neutral pronouns.

One: in my previous fandom, there was a vicious person who bullied and dragged people for what they shipped and who was terribly annoying on top of being a horrible human being.

When someone made a post to watch out for them and block, the person mobilized all their followers to harass this person and paint them as a transphobe. Why? Because the callout used 'they', and very clearly, the person had 'it' pronouns in their bio. Obviously, no one read this bio and the person used the most polite version on the internet, which is to call people 'they' by default. This was a gross misuse of power by making people feel like they had to choose between anti-bullying and anti-transphobia to offset responsibility for their actions and was even worse when later on, it was revealed this person was bullshitting all along and was using trans issues to further their goals, as they had changed the pronouns from she to it immediately after the callout.

"You have to do what I say and reality is how I define it" is often true when it comes to respect, but as a community, we have to start facing that it also, on top of genuine people who just want to be respected as themselves, attracts megalomaniacs who want everyone to listen to them and to bend to their every whim: you will dehumanize me or you are evil, and you will abandon your ethics for my entertainment.

A recent anon who likened people who don't use 'it' as it goes against their ethics to actual open transphobes did a good job at chasing away a majority of day to day trans allies this way and displaying how it's not about building bridges and making people understand we are regular people who wish to be seen as regular humans, but about power and control to make folks abandon what they value. It is an argument to defeat one's enemies or vent frustrations in an unhealthy way that harms the trans community for a good chunk of people. I am not surprised that my family, who very openly accepted a new trans member in the family and do their earnest best to correctly gender her, also see the whole 'it' and neopronouns rage for the power play and sense of control over others it is.

Two: in my language, there is a gender neutral way to refer to people that's uncommon in others. We don't have gender neutral pronouns, but we do have a word that means 'that one' and 'that one's' that's practically used in half of the cases when referring to someone, for example, "Have you seen Ben?" "I think that one went to the store." "Hope he's back soon."

In the current context of this blog, people would demand that we stop using our natural language structure because someone might get hurt by being referred to without being gendered just as often as everyone else in the world is. But sometimes, a roundabout way to avoid gendering someone is just exactly that, and not someone being an awful transphobe. By treating trans people the exact same as their cis counterpart, it's more validating and less alienating.

There is a lot more nuance in the world than many claim. Be kind and respectful, but know when someone's taking you for an idiot or a gullible fool they can use as a lackey for their next ego trip.

--

[idohistorysometimes]

Some important internet advice: Stop Oversharing

I know this is not really a history thing. But since I am kind of a teacher and this is a��‘life lesson’ I feel like this is kind of applicable here since it crosses over with IRL interactions I have. 

I think it should go without saying that kids are just on the internet now. They got phones, they got computers, they got Ipads, they got smart fridges, and there are here to stay. Some of my readers might even fall under this category. And since the new generation seems to be so chronically online I have noticed an issue (both here and on sites like TikTok). That issue is oversharing.

Like, a LOT of oversharing. 

Like, to an unhealthy degree.

I am talking people posting their entire list of traumas (with specifics), medical history including their diagnoses, full name, full birth dates, and a lot of other extremely identifying information just out on the internet either in the form of bios or in the form of an extremely lengthy post catalog where these things are frequently brought up. Now I don't wanna be the guy who is like “Well you should not do that because of internet predators” but I am going to be that guy. It's not fucking safe. Stop doing it.

The internet is not a completely altruistic place. This is not to say that you cannot meet nice genuine people on the internet or have meaningful interactions over the internet with people. But just because you can have these interactions and the fact they are possible DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE ALWAYS GOING TO HAPPEN. Not every single person you come across with be genuine, kind, or even indifferent to you. There are going to be people who use the anonymity that comes with the internet to do fucked up things to you and with the information you give them.

For example: that trauma dump you just posted can be used as fuel to harass you in a VERY VERY specific and personal way. Just because it is your authentic trauma does not mean people will respect it. As shitty as that is that is just the nature of what anonymity can allow people to do. They can use your traumas and diagnoses as a tool to hurt you. And since they will never see you in person or have to usually face the consequences of their own actions they will lay into you HARD.

I know it can suck not being able to talk about the things bothering you and being able to get support. But this is also why something called “throwaway accounts” exist. They exist so you can vent about something or post something without it being connected back to you and your main account. If you really feel you need to share something like that: use something like that. And if issues are in your life are THAT bad I would heavily recommend seeking actual counseling since the internet cannot help you solve those issues.

Along with that: you do not have to share every detail about yourself and your identity online. 

Identity might be important but so is safety. Random strangers visiting your page do not need to know that you are a 14-year-old living in X state and that has Y set of illnesses or mental issues. Not everybody needs to know those things about you. Not everybody should know these things about you. This all comes back to the weaponization component but also it can make it REALLY easy to Dox you. I am not endorsing Doxxing but with that amount of information, it is extremely easy to find and locate you or your family members based on that information you share. You dont even have to hack anything. All you need is whitepages or sites like it.

If it is not absolutely relevant to what you are doing or the conversation you are having: do not share it.

This even goes for IRL conversations. Does the person you are talking to really need to know your diagnostic history? Do they really need to know all the intricate parts of what makes up your identity? Do they need to know all of the horrible things that happened to you as a child? Do they need to know that horrible thing your friend did last week? Do they need to know any of this to be able to keep participating in conversations with you? You can still share some information that is relevant (like for example pronouns) but do they REALLY need to know everything else about you?

You do not need to be sharing that much information with strangers. You REALLY don't. There is just way too much that can go wrong with doing that and there is very little actual reason to be doing that. It's safer just not to. 

And as a final remark: The internet is NOT a replacement for actual mental health services. It is not a replacement for specialized therapies or medications. It is not a replacement for actual help. The internet CAN help you but it is not a replacement for actual treatments. You are not treating your bipolar disorder by talking to "XenoKittie999" on discord or in your DMs. And that same person CANNOT diagnose you with anything. 

Please stay safe out there. 

#internet safety #chronically online #chronically online people #advice #PSA #oversharing #online safety

[enterjokeshere]

Ramble/vent ig 🤪

I've got so many cool creative friends with awesome ocs and awesome stories and awesome art that I genuinely love and really want to see more of but I'm always paranoid I over gas-up friends' stuff to the point it holds no weight if I am speaking positively 💀

Like I don't want to come across as " 🤩 WOWWWWW YOUR HOLINESS HAS GRACED US WITH THEIR PRESENCE!!! AMEN!! BOW TO THE CREATIVE GODDDDDD 🤩 🤩 🤩 " in response to every little thing if I'm not obviously playing it up as a joke lol, but I always worry people could get that impression from our interactions maybe? Esp since I'm not very good at giving specific compliments n all, so I notice I tend to leave the same positive comments to a lot of the art in my insta feed especially. Like I'll scroll through someone's account n see I basically left the same "So cool!! Sick work!" comments on back to back on posts like a week apart, bc that's just sorta my go-to.

Like best way I could describe it is, it's a sorta "survivor bias" where the only reason the only reason these friends ARE so present in my life is because I genuinely admire and enjoy their creativity. They've managed to catch my attention and keep it, so ofc I tend to express my appreciation enthusiastically. But there's always that nagging thought of "am I being too much? 🤪"

People who are total yes-men who don't challenge anything in life, never call people out, only have positive interactions w people they don't actually care for might actually be my biggest pet peeve 💥💥💥 It's just such an empty fake plastic life imo lmao. (Not that I think being an absolute hater to everyone is the way, but yk what I'm saying.) I'm not really creative myself, so seeing people just uhhhhh create... with their brains never ceases to really impress me. Idk, TLDR: if I've ever said I liked something or do a lot, pls know I ACTUALLY do really enjoy it and genuinely mean it each time? 😭

Ok, rant over lol

#rambles #vent #text post

[palettepainter]

Ok, but do Mick and Terri have BF (before Floyd) designs? Like whenever they first met.

Sorry it took me a while to get to this! Wanted to get some what-if younger designs done for Terri and Mick to answer this!

I can't go too into detail with some stuff relating to Terri as it'll come up in a new multiple chapter story involving a younger Floyd and baby Animal, but I'll include a few small facts about the both of them:

Terri: -So according to a post I saw on here the events in Muppets Mayhem ep 6 during Teeth's flashbacks is set in the 60's. Terri's father was a lawyer (debating on him possibly holding some position in the miliraty before he got married) and her mother was a teacher, Terri in the beginning was attending college aspiring to become a music teacher and working part time at a bar. She was a bit of a loner and came off as sort of rude to other people, she was a very goal driven person so tended to place value on her work and future more then making friends.

-During the 60's there was a lot more standards and expectations for genders. While men where welcomed into careers more suited for women, women struggled to achieve job positions of higher pay such as firefighters or police officers. It was mostly thanks to these changing times that Terri became such a driven person, hoping to build herself a strong career despite all the expectations placed upon women of her age

-She met Mick when he and his biker friends where passing through town and they stopped in at the bar she was working at. Mick flirted with her, and Terri calmly shot him down before probably saying how Mick had dirt or something on his shirt. A couple days later he showed back up and Terri ended up having a genuine conversation with him which she might have enjoyed a bit. She'd had a frustrating morning and so talking with Mick helped her vent off some steam

-This is one I can't go into too much detail with, but Terri's parents hate Mick with the heat of a thousand suns

Mick:

-Mick was young, cool and just a bit dumb. He lived a comfortable life in Boston before he turned 18 and he and his biker friends set off on travelling about the world. Through out their journey they eventually get to San Franisco. Mick was getting a taste of the big world for the first time and the thrill of it all inflated his confidence, which is firmly knocked down a peg at Terri's harsh shutdown. He makes amends a few days later, he didn't actually mean to offend her, he just thought she was pretty.

-A day before Mick and his friends prepare to leave they wind up in a small brawl with another biker crew. Mick wasn't the aggressor, but he did say somethings that didn't help the situation. It ends up in a small chase on bikes, which leads to a pile up and crash, which Mick and his friends thankfully leave mostly unscathed. Thanks to the trouble they caused Mick and his pals end up arrested, but after gathering reports from witnesses and it was decided they weren't the ones responsible they're released on probation, thanks to Terri's dad. Again, can't go too in depth, but Terri's dad took pity on the younger boys and helped them out

-Not only is Mick on probation but his bike got wrecked in the crash, so now he has to save up for a new one. Terri's dad places him in community jobs such as trash cleaning and otherwork like that. Mick is not exactly happy at the situation, but with some good behaviour Terri's dad arranges him a job working at the same bar Terri works at. Terri's dad figured it would be a good way to keep an eye on him, since Terri would be able to directly report to him. This is how the two gradually become friends and, overtime, lovers. Terri began to sneak cuts of her pay into Mick's at the end of each month at the bar to help him get his bike back, because she could tell Mick wasn't truly happy being stuck there. Mick finds her out one day when he catches her messing with their monthly payments, it leads to the two accidentally confessing to each other (at this point they've had like a few dates, which neither dare say is a date out of embarrassment, and are dancing around each other). They have a small argument about it then Mick leaves

-Shortly after that Terri finds out she's pregnant and they both end up leaving San Francisco. Mick quits his biker gang, Terri homes out of home and they - especially Terri - never looked back

#The Muppets #Muppets #Muppet OC's #Terri #Mick #Terri Pepper #Mick Pepper

[dreamofmetoday]

ROSÉ AND LISA DYNAMIC READING

overall:

overall they enjoy this connection and feel fortunate to have found each other. i don’t post the cards i use usually because i mix decks and think cards from different decks have slightly different meanings, but for this reading the 9 of cups came up twice so there really is a feeling of, “i’m so grateful we both got to do this whole thing together and not with someone else”. however, there is some toxicity here. they seem to bring out bad traits in each other and they both know it, neither is really too shy about confronting the other too, so bickering and fighting is also quite frequent. both of them are stubborn and irritable, it’s good in the sense it means they are both themselves around each other and don’t try too hard to “adapt” to the other person but it intensifies clashes. they can have a problem of becoming super close, crossing boundaries and then needing to back away a bit. it’s hard to predict if they’ll always want to be friends because one day they might get sick of it but for the most part they easily make up.

how does rosé view lisa:

rosé thinks lisa is incredibly hardworking, she knew from the beginning that lisa was serious about what she wanted and already had a better understanding of herself than the other people around them. rosé sees lisa as someone who is highly capable, as someone who is able to do a lot of things and do them really well. she also sees lisa as pushy and dominating for this reason. she thinks lisa is brash and egotistical and not the most considerate person, thinking that she can be a bit thoughtless when it comes to others. despite this, she doesn’t think lisa really has bad intentions and likes how “pure” she has always been and appreciates her effort. she thinks they’re different in a lot of ways but balance each other out - she may even ponder or joke about how they must have known each other in another life where they were family or something. she also sees lisa as someone who is just very fortunate. currently however, she feels a bit hurt by lisa. it seems lisa might have vented to someone about rosé in the somewhat recent past and finding out hurt her feelings.

how does lisa see rosé:

lisa definitely sees rosé as someone less optimistic than herself, finding it somewhat odd how easily down rosé can get upset over “nothing” or what lisa sees as problems that aren’t really worth dwelling over. at this point in their connection she understands that it takes rosé longer to get over things than it does for her but it sometimes still annoys her and to this day still confuses her. she actually sees rosé as pretty resilient and goal-oriented just that she’s depressive at the same time. she thinks rosé is charming and likeable but feels sort of sad a lot of her friendships are superficial for this reason (something lisa herself would find hard to do), assuming rosé must secretly be lonely and has unfulfilling relationships (it’s also possible that on top of this rosé has a messy romantic life). she thinks rosé is good at getting what she wants since she knows how to appeal to others. she thinks rosé has a temper sometimes. she sees rosé as someone who is an extrovert that enjoys having fun with others. she trusts rosé and thinks she’s genuine with her kindness but sometimes worries she’s seen the same way she sees other friends (as business investments).

#kpop tarot #blackpink #blackpink lisa #kpop #blackpink rosé #lisa #rosé #dynamic reading #tarot #celebrity tarot #melody tarot

[disabledunitypunk]

Hey, I'm the OP of the post you discuss here. I didn't write that post in any of those contexts you bring up, I wrote it in response to seeing people talk about disabilities or being disabled and then classifying disabilities into "physically disabled" and "neurodivergent", rather than "physically disabled" and "mentally disabled" (although the distinction wasn't even necessary for the specific post that inspired my vent). It doesn't have anything to do with specific communities, and I'm genuinely a bit lost about where all of this is coming from when I made that post out of mild annoyance that people will use "neurodivergent" as if it's always interchangeable with "mentally disabled", when mental disabilities are just some of many neurodivergencies. I wasn't annoyed about the neurodivergent community or the terms people use for themselves – I was annoyed by how people use the term as half of a binary for disabilities instead of, y'know, actually focusing on disabilities. It feels like it does a disservice to those who don't consider their neurodivergencies disabilities, as well as mentally disabled folks who don't use the umbrella term of neurodivergent. That's what I was venting about. Not about specific neurodivergent subcommunities.

Next time you're confused about one of my posts, please just message me instead of screenshotting my posts to post your own assumptions and comments about it. I'm very hurt by the fact you didn't bother to actually come to me with your concerns and have instead made a post that you admit is an "ungenerous reading" about a vent I would have been more than happy to elaborate on. It feels like you've been talking about me behind my back, which I do not appreciate.

I wanted to thank you for correcting us. I understand your frustration and want to apologize for our misunderstanding. I think honestly we were a bit afraid to reach out personally individually, but tried to at least avoid our platform bringing negative attention to your blog, but we went about it the wrong way. For both that and our misinterpretation, we apologize.

We've been trying to acknowledge where we are biased and ignorant due to trauma and other factors, but we still are sometimes wrong. For all that you were understandably frustrated with us, we appreciate your willingness to be patient and explain to us anyway, and to be kind despite where we screwed up in addressing that. We will do better going forward.

We have saved screenshots of the post that we can add to this ask for context at your discretion (because we very much do want to take responsibility for what we've said), but we've taken down the original post out of respect for your feelings on how we mishandled this. We tried to keep in mind from the beginning that it was a vent post that wouldn't explain every nuance that might be present within the conversation, but we still failed to take the time to really understand your perspective and reach out to you when we were confused.

I can explain further our background on where our response did come from if it would be helpful, but I won't force you to read it unsolicited, because the important thing is that we messed up and didn't come to you out of an irrational fear. While we have had bad experiences in the past, they have been with people who haven't shown the repeated patience and grace you have in the time we've interacted with you, and we should have had the courage to assume that you would continue to be so.

We're not always good at apologies, so if there's anything else that would be helpful to hear or for us to do, please let us know. We're sorry, and thank you for addressing this with us.

We have apologized directly to OP but want to make sure our followers have the opportunity to see their explanation as well, hence also answering the ask here.

-Mod Stars

#mod stars

[smimon]

Shit I thought I already had it behind me but I never really told anyone so I'm afraid it will keep haunting me? Or maybe someone out there needs to hear it. Whatever, another vent post let's go.

Content warning: bullying, dysfunctional family

Yo so I always found it difficult to be an artist in my family house, because of the treatment I received from family members.

My brother kept ridiculing everything I draw specifically to make me feel bad. He would look at the drawing I'm making and then point and laugh and joke. Sometimes when I was not drawing at the moment he would randomly start talking about my artstyle and why he finds it lame and stupid. Sometimes he did it in front of our friends.

My mother didn't even look at my drawings and only kept shaking her head and complaining how I should stop being so childish and find a more mature hobby, like babysitting any boring man of my choice.

My father mostly ignored my drawings, but sometimes he would point a single insignificant detail and make a sarcastic, misinterpreting comment that only he found funny and left me in tears like that.

Grandma kept wondering why am I even drawing at all because she can't see any appeal in it. She meant it in a lighthearted way and took grave offense when I didn't respond with laughter, but up to this day I don't know what she was expecting.

This made me feel bad, and I didn't want to feel bad, and I only saw two solutions. First, my mother's preferred, was to just stop doing art. But I'm an artist, you can't stop artist from doing art. The second solution was to just avoid any opportunity for my family members to see my art. So I developed this habit of covering the paper with my whole body whenever someone entered the room. (I didn't have my own space until I moved out to boarding school so this was happening quite frequently). A habit that took me years to get rid of, with all the patience and help from my artist friends. And even today I still have this instinct in me. (I know what could heal me, but I need a better internet connection for that - I thought of doing speedpaints and livestreams! Maybe next year)

On the other hand, there was always my best friend with all the love and support for my art. I couldn't really understand it after all that was happening at home, but I think without that I would just give up. Then I got internet connection and started posting my art online, and other people started coming to say they like my art. It surely did feel like mocking, but with all my might I chose to believe they genuinely enjoy it, and just rolled with it.

And where am I now? Confidently calling myself an artist, producing silly drawings on a daily basis, no shame, no regrets, connecting with people through my art, even providing something meaningful every once in a while. Does my family know about it? Hell no, and they will never know!!!

Oh dear, if only I knew back then how comfortable I will become with art. Actually, no, I would never believe that. But this is a message that still needs to be send:

Life is difficult but love persists! Life is hard but passion remains! All the bad days will come to an end!!!

#vent post #but with a happy end! #you know the saying 'go big or go home' and since I didn't want to be home I just gave my all to art haha

[avese23]

Can’t deal with people who act all personally aggrieved that they can’t personalize the entire internet to their personal happy place. Especially people who then go out looking for things to get mad at

(This isn’t about people venting about trolls or harassment. It sucks. I’m sorry. Fuck bullies and bigots. This also isn’t about flash warnings, and anything that keeps people with epilepsy safe)

But like, it’s not other people’s job to read your mind and guess what hyperspecific trigger you have then manually tag everything for one person. I’ve seen people ask creators to tag images with the character their blog is about. Just block the blog. That’s not a safe blog for you.

It’s not other people’s job to explain that fucked up shit in fiction is not real. You’re not a child and we’re not your parents here to hold your hand and reassure you that the actor is only playing dead.

I think a good example of effective content warnings is Hazbin. They’re not gonna put one up every individual episode to tell you a show full of swearing and gore is gonna have swearing and gore. But episode 4 is more graphic than any other episode so it’s given a separate warning. Because someone signing up for the rest of the episodes might genuinely be taken aback by that one.

Or Hashtag Ruthless Productions always putting heavy topics in their politics section. Asking for a warning every episode would be silly when you can just skip the politics section. You know it’s gonna be venting and politics. So don’t be surprised when it’s about politics. But if they talk about dark topics that aren’t typically brought up in that fandom they do give warning. For instance most people wouldn’t expect a discussion about eating disorders when the hosts talk about the cult in Wayward Son. Or a spoiler for Star Trek in a podcast about Buffy. So *then* it makes sense.

It’s social kindness and being stewardess to recognize when you as a creator are putting out something unexpectedly and objectively shocking to people who didn’t consent to it. It’s not other people’s job however, to use common sense for you. Or to read your mind. Don’t click on a video about a movie and get mad at spoilers for that mobile. Don’t read the Bible and get mad about major character death (Christian’s don’t come after me with a ‘well actually’ I haven’t read it 😭)

Speaking of Christianity if you’re someone who gets mad at Christian’s being upset by goths wearing crosses (which is silly) but then get upset by what people are writing about your blorbos on ao3 you might wanna do some soul searching.

So no I don’t care about your DNI list. No I don’t care that you only want virgos to reblog your post about Home Depot. No I don’t care that you can’t tell the difference between an anime character and a person, between real life and a plot point, between internet drama and an actual crime. I find that dude from Friends ugly af to that point I cringe but I’m not gonna go harass fandom accounts or look up every bad thing the characters done and accuse blogs of being bad people. I don’t like a lot of ATLA ships and think both Zutara and Kataang are morally gross af but I’m not gonna say the writers or the fans are sympathizing with pedophilia or abuse. Cuz that’s ridiculous.

When I publish works I’m gonna make it clear what kind of story it is. And then I’m gonna step back and tell the fucking story. I’m not gonna pop up every other chapter to warn people that a gay character calls another gay character a fag affectionately. Or a character in a toxic relationship *shocker* is having a bad time. I’m not gonna tell people that the horror work has gore and a jump scare. It’s horror.

Cuz I’m not gonna infantilize my audience and trust that they can set their own boundaries when it comes to stories they want to consume. No one is forcing them.

Media isn’t sex you don’t have to check in with every escalation. Entertainment isn’t your textbook, Phillip Schuyler is allowed to have no sons. A character isn’t your child they’re allowed to wear what they want and go on dangerous ass quests.

It’s frustrating being told to choose between assholes who project their own privilege onto others and assholes who project their own trauma onto others. Nuance exists.

Now block me dear lord, you’re doing the inventor of the block button a disservice when you get off on being pissed off

#vent #media literacy #content warnings #ao3 is an archive #hellsite #don’t tell strangers your triggers #please use your brain cells #the second part is to adults who know better #I’m not mad at the kids who do it cuz it’s what they see #and no one’s told them not to overshare online #avese shares a thing

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

#ooc post. #.vat file #rl illness ment- #rl death ment- #readmore. #I think I'm ok for now. I'm sorry about the stuff mentioned at the top but I'm not sorry this post is so long. for once. #you don't have to read it. but if you do? then hey. thanks. we're besties now. #I had a little rant about him and it's cathartic but I'm trying not to break down tbh #I think just expressing how much I loved him helps. he was just. so pure and wholesome in reality. #always showing how much he appreciated people...

[little-cereal-draws]

Chess Husbands Demon/Guardian Angel au

This is based off the joke they made in the finale abt Julian being a demon and this post abt Robin effectively serving as the guardian angel of Button House by @imdefyingmavity

At this point, Robin knows that he's supposed to be the protector of the House and its residents but he doesn't take his duties that seriously. Of course he does if it's an actual emergency like the burglary or if he particularly likes one of the ppl that live there like Sophie but generally he goes abt his own business running through the woods and looking at mouse babies and not really paying that much attention to what the living people are doing. However when Julian shows up, things change. He's the only other ghost who can interact with the living world in a physical way. He's not the best person though and is very cheeky but Robin thinks he's great and they bond quickly. He overlooks all the warning signs; Julian turning on the radio bc he wants to hear the music too, Julian pushing cups off tables so they break because it's funny, Julian poking living people bc a man has needs, alright? He even doesn't think anything much of Julian using his powers to try to murder Alison; she hadn't been there that long and was going to mess everything up. (Again, Robin's not always the best at his job lol)

Now here's where it could go a number of different ways. I can't pick.

Ending 1: (This one's my favorite) It's a similar process becoming a demon or a guardian angel. It's grueling and essentially breaks your brain down and restructures it to better fit your new role. Robin did it thousands of years ago during one of the times when he was the only person at the House but he managed to keep his sanity in the isolation and become an angel. (Also his want to be part of a big tribe and to redeem himself for failing his tribe when he was alive helped with that outcome.) Julian, on the other hand, isn't doing as well. It's been thousands of years since Alison lived there, the House is completely different, friends have come and gone, and he's cracking. Robin tries to help him, talking to him, trying to engage him in activities like they used to do, but there's not much he can do to stop it. It's painful, watching the only friend he still had agonizingly losing his mind. It's only after it's all done, that they start fighting each other with epic ghost magic like you would expect from a demon and angel. The relatively harmless mischief Julian used to get up to has now been replaced with genuinely life threatening and destructive tendencies and it's a full-time job trying to keep the people on the property safe. Robin doesn't want to fight though; his heart breaks time every time he looks at him. Julian might still physically be there but Robin's lost another friend.

Ending 2A: Sometime between the Coopers leaving and the end scene where Alison comes back as an old woman, Robin finally moves on. Ofc all the ghosts are happy for him but it's still heartbreaking. Julian especially is lonely/upset and every time he tries to bring up how he feels abt it (bc yes, he talks abt his feelings now; blame Alison), the other ghosts just brush him off saying Robin's probably happier now, they knew this is what he wanted, etc. Julian's frustrated, angry, sad, lonely, and doesn't know what to do with himself. He isn't particularly close to any of the ghosts left so he spends a lot more time by himself. He releases his negative emotions by messing with the hotel guests. He smashes their stuff, locks their doors, rips up their clothes, and basically vents by destroying anything else he can get his hands on. His powers get stronger but so do his negative emotions (they feed into each other) until he's completely consumed by them. All the other ghosts are kinda scared of him at this point so they bring it up to Alison one year when she comes. She tells Julian off but quickly realizes he's just acting out because he feels like no one's listening to him and he feels alone now. She comforts him and they talk about Robin and he feels better. He still has very sinister tendencies now, there's no going back on that, but he can be relatively easily persuaded to not do the SUPER bad things.

Ending 2B: (This is the one I'm least sure abt) It starts out the same where Robin moves on in the hotel, Julain's upset and starts terrorizing the hotel guests to express that, and the other ghosts tell Alison about what's happening. She tries to tell him off but he's too far gone and he kills her. (Bonus points if he gets set off because he misinterprets what she's saying and thinks he's in trouble because he's still upset over Robin.) It's the first time he's killed someone and solidifies the fact that there's absolutely no coming back for him. This makes everyone (ghosts and humans) terrified and avoid him even more. Alison's death is a violent unsolvable mystery and the hotel eventually is forced to close. Over the years, many paranormal investigators and exorcists come to the house correctly convinced that Alison's murder was supernatural but he kills them all too before they can get very far. The people he kills don't stay as ghosts nor do they move on, they just seem to stop existing. The remaining ghosts have a theory that he's somehow taking their energy since he seems to get stronger after each one but they have no way to prove it. Even though he almost always ignores them, the ghosts spend the rest of eternity living in fear and hiding on the outskirts of the property.

#take your pick. they're all angsty lol #But seriously I would love to hear ppls opinions #can u tell I like the trope of a person being consumed and corrupted by grief after someone they love dies lol #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts au #julian fawcett #bbc ghosts robin #robin the caveman #chess husbands

[redheadbigshoes]

Sorry I just want to vent about something….the past week I’ve seen multiple posts come up on my dash about how lesbians can have sex with men because “you can have sex with someone you’re not attracted to”.

As a late bloomer lesbian (shoutout to comphet), I find that hard to fathom. I’ve had sex with men before realizing my sexuality but one of the most agonizing things about being a late bloomer lesbian is having to live with the fact that I put myself and my body through all that; I can never take any of those experiences back no matter how badly I wish for it. I still have days when I break down because I wish I’ve realized my sexuality sooner so I wouldn’t have had to force myself to have sex with men just to “fit in”. The hardest pill I’ve had to swallow is that I’ve consented to all of it because I thought that’s what I wanted to do and well it wasn’t. For years, I felt so uncomfortable in my own body because of it. Thinking about those times makes me feel nauseous.

(This tiktok better encapsulates how I feel: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8dNo6XB/ definitely recommend this tiktoker btw, she makes content about being a late bloomer lesbian)

If you’re genuinely not attracted to someone, why would you put yourself through the trouble of having sex with them anyway? Especially if you’re aware you’re not attracted to them? I don’t get it.

You guys can go on about how everyone has sex with people they’re not attracted to all the time but don’t fucking act like there are zero emotional repercussions for doing so. It has taken me a long time to heal from all of that and idk maybe I am being over dramatic but it just feels like a big slap in the face seeing people say it so nonchalantly.

I will end this ask on a positive: I made some new sapphic friends this week and they invited me to an lgbtq summer halloween event!

Don’t apologize for venting!

It really is infuriating… Like, there’s obviously some exceptions when we talk about having sex with men as a lesbian such as 1) the person might have had relationships with men before figuring out their identity 2) the person knows they’re not attracted to men but they live in a dangerous place to be out as a lesbian and is influenced to/forced to be in a relationship with a guy just to fit in 3) or maybe the person is a sex worker and it’s their job…

But when it comes to someone who has sex with men simply because they want to, without it being their job, without them being forced or influenced to anything, while not only knowing fully well they’re a “lesbian” but also identifying as one… well that person isn’t a lesbian.

You wouldn’t have sex with men (considering all the things I’ve mentioned above) while knowing you’re a lesbian if you were actually one. Why would you willingly have sex with men if you’re not attracted to them?

Those people really have no idea how dangerous what they’re saying is. They completely forget how lesbians are major victims of corrective rape and how creepy men are when it comes to us. They’re only contributing to men thinking we’re deep down attracted to them.

And it’s really just like you said as someone who also had relationships with men before figuring out my identity: it’s agonizing even thinking about how I put myself and my body through that.

I’m so happy for you! I hope they’re very nice and that you enjoy this event!

#stephanie answers #anon #long post #tw corrective rape

[frecklystars]

Hey keri!! I don't want you to worry about people thinking you're faking anything and stuff like that - what you're doing and how you're approaching it is completely normal and healthy, everything you've said about the shades of pink in that post makes a lot of sense! people know that recovery isn't a straight line, but more wiggly with ups and downs, and you're such a sincere and nice person that I really don't think anyone is going to be whisper whisper about you making it up for attention or stuff like that - especially when the way you present and talk and vent about it is so different to how someone "doing it for views/attention" would be - but honestly I think a lot of people and I really understand the fear of this and the worry, but I think you should feel reassured that nohody is going to be thinking that. Recovery is complex and multifaceted and we understand, and we're all so proud of how well you're doing!! Sorry if this is a bit rambly or doesn't make sense, I find it hard to get thoughts into words sometimes. We're all rooting for you ✨💕🌻

HI YELLOW THANK YOU!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

I appreciate you writing this all out for me! And dw it all makes PERFECT sense to me, you are wonderful at phrasing things and also I love you <3

I want to believe it's true, that people can use their braincells if they see me posting a picture of my self insert wearing my favorite pink shirt, and think to themselves "oh wow look, Keri is working on healing, good for her!!!" but I've gotten some confused messages where people are like "why would you make your S/I wear a pink shirt if pink is a trigger? why are you reblogging pictures of Starscream if looking at him is a trigger?" and it's just so hard to have to explain myself over and over and over, that I'm 5 months into the healing process, that Starscream isn't a trigger anymore so much as he is someone I am heavily grieving now, that damn I love pink sooo much and I don't want it to be a trigger anymore, I genuinely want to heal and that means I'm going to have to put in the work!!! I am going to have to look at these things and allow these feelings to wash over me, to reassure myself that I am in control. I do this in my therapy appointments, I do this when I know I'm feeling stable enough to look at these things, and on my horrible days when I can't look at them whatsoever then I just simply don't.

But nowadays when I'm starting to feel myself improve even just the smallest bit, I start to get scared that ppl aren't going to try to understand me no matter how many times I explain how healing from PTSD works. I've been through a lot the last 9 months, I was completely alone with ppl who were convincing me that my feelings weren't valid, so naturally when I come back online I assume ppl are going to think my feelings on reclaiming my own triggers at my own pace won't be valid either...

...and me saying that,,, might be silly, considering all the support I've gotten in such a short amount of time,,,,, I shouldn't stress about an incredibly miniscule amount of people who could potentially tell me that I'm "faking it". but I still get so so anxious, it's been SO LONG since I've talked to people again, people who are actually healthy for me to be around, I'm not used to people understanding me or hearing me out, I'm still so scared that I'll turn around and somebody I trust is going to stab me in the back. Nobody has reason to do this, I just,,, I'm so used to it, I endured it for almost a year, so I'm always on guard now ready for someone to plunge that knife into my back when I least expect it. I never used to get anxious abt things like this but I am such a different person now than I was before I left, I feel like my biggest parts of me are missing :( but I am hoping that healing from my trauma little by little by reclaiming the things that were lost to me are going to help me find myself again.

Thank you for telling me that this is a normal part of healing, bc I feel kind of out of my mind and going thru this process is so rough. It's so hard waking up and immediately getting flashbacks, and having other days where I wake up and I'm immediately super cautious, so tense that my chest will hurt, because I know the flashbacks could start at any point and I have to be "ready" for it. Having anxiety 24/7 is!! wild!!! and I keep going up and down when I'm healing and it makes me feel weird, it makes me feel like I am going crazy and that I'm "doing this wrong". I know healing isn't linear, like rationally I think deep down I am aware of it at least, but omg I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster over here. I've never had PTSD with multiple triggers and I've never actually had to experiment with reclaiming said triggers. I'm scared of people perceiving me when I'm in such a bad state, judging my every move and deciding whether or not my healing is valid or if I'm doing this "correctly". It's probably silly for me to think these things but it's been really eating at me for the past few days.

But I'm rereading your message a few more times rn and trying to really let it sink in, especially when you say I'm a nice/sincere person ;-; thank you. Most people know me by now, I have been online for a longass time, I truly hope people know I'm genuine and I would never "fake something for attention", especially when it involves my comfort characters, like... this is literally the worst thing to ever happen to me, I couldn't fake this if I tried lmao;;;

Thank you for sending me a reassuring message, I appreciate it <3

#yellowpoet #asks #keepsake #also im so glad that you thought my post made sense 😭🙏💛 #i rly rly rly hope that most ppl have the same mindset that you do #i just know the reading comprehension on this hellsite is like... nonexistent fjhgfdksfhg #and ive already gotten some confused messages. and theyre innocently confused #but it just scares me bc theres so many Evil People out there who might try to put me down for all of this #and I am just. I'm doing so bad. I want to heal but I don't know if I'm 'allowed' to #bc people expect me to heal at a certain pace #like. I do not want to spend years being scared of these 10 or 20 things #especially a color that is so!! love-coded!!! one of my main fave colors!! #me trying to reclaim it is something I couldn't have done 5 months ago #but nobody saw me 5 months ago bc I was offline for so long. nobody has seen me at my Worst #so I'm scared that ppl will assume I'm 'healing too fast' #I've only been back for one week but my healing process is reaching 6 months very soon #idk if anything i said just made sense bc i jumped everywhere lmao??? #anyway. ANYWAY. yellow i love you SO MUCH you cannot fathom how much I love you #I thought about you a few times when I was gone I thought about a lot of mutuals #and like you're one of my favorite blogs/mutuals and I care abt you so much. so thank you for sending me this