#aint it grand lmao

[wlwsakura]

inoshikacho runaway pirates

they end up boarding the ship sakura is on. (she was on her way to marry some asshole /arranged) during all the commotion she stows away on the pirate ship one thing leads to another(ino is infatuated at first fight) and what do you know? so starts sakura’s new life as a pirate

#aint it grand lmao #inosaku #thoughts

[snekdood]

everyone who says they hate rap is required to listen to this song first

#fave #music #mood #its not all about pussy money weed #listen closely to the lyrics in rap music #rather than dismissing all rap just say you think that particular rapper sucks yaknow #but also you gotta appreciate pmw rap a bit too- that was one of the points in contrapoints' opulence video that everyone glazed over #bc god forbid she not know the internet wants buck angel to shit and die #(which btw is a really good video if you can get past your blinding rage for buck angel and listen to the rest of the 40 min video) #it why even though the majority of wiz khalifas rap is pretty uhm. shallow. to say the least- #in amber ice he has a line that goes like 'we aint even supposed to be living near this people' as in WHITE people. #its about flaunting that which you are denied by a society that oppresses you #ARE YOU GETTING IT? DO YOU GET IT YET???????????? #im literally frothing over here tryna make ppl understand #which is why btw its weird when white ppl make songs like that about 'having more money than u' about themselves or make a whole song like #that. like becky you're not revolutionary at all. you're a rich white girl. oooooo so different and unique. #rap music about money is usually like 'fuck you i can do that shit too' not JUST about the flaunt bb girl #*glares at ariana grande* #ariana- YOU'RE the exact type of person rappers are pitting themselves against. flaunting your money isnt cool or different or anything #you're not revolutionary in your music at all. you're just a rich white person being open about how above everyone you think you are #thats the difference between white rappers like ariana and black rappers- white rappers rap about their money to flaunt how above everyone #they are. black rappers flaunt their money to show how above rich white people they can be #you're not proving you can do it too you're being a privileged asshole lmao #the difference between rich white rappers and old money is that rich white rappers are actually being open about how they think they're #superior than everyone #like ok becky we get you embrace being a white supremacist colonizer and no one can tell you to stop 🙄😒

[catfishofoldin99colours]

me when my coworker is worried another guy in the office doesn't like her: Ah that sucks for her. Glad I'm not affected by that tho

Me when that same guy gives me a short teams message: Ah. Well good thing I don't care about being liked by him or not

Me after thinking about it for maybe 32 seconds: no actually I hate this

#catfish speaks #i get the feeling he does not like me #and im not about to try snd change that if he doesnt like me he doesnt like me #it just stung a bit when he sent me a short reply to a teams request and im like. ok ouch. #like mine was jovial and im trying to be nice #idk. it's very small potatoes in the grand scheme of things #and stands out cos i have a pretty friendly relationship with literally everyone else at work - bot just in the office but eith everyone #were a small company so i have spoken yo almost everyone and had decent friendly conversations with most of them #and i like pretty much everyone here! everyones quite nice and we have good comvos and i feel like we're friends #so it stands out a bit when i have one on one interactions witu this guy and theyre so #like. short. and business like. #tbh tho ik im also not the friendliest #especially in the mornings lol #maybe he jusy doesnt know hwo to talk to me either #anyway! small potatoes not a big deal anf not worth crying over lmao #maybe ill try to talk to him a bit more throughout the year #but if he doesnt wanna talk then theres nothing else i can do and i aint sweating over it

[vaugarde]

king dedede @ magolor after arriving on halcandra

#egg engines is kinda a hellscape LMAO #dangerous dinner aint much better #its either abandoned mechanical wasteland full of sewage or Lava Place #no wonder he just stays inside the lor all the time #this actually factors into my own hcs abt him actually like. he grew up on halcandra so long after the ancients left it decrepit #and he grew up being told stories abt their exploits and abt galactic nova and hes named after the lor itself #(hes trans in my hc but didnt change his name bc he likes the honor and its not gendered) #so he expected to be just like the wizards who came before him and trained all hus life but ultimately was judt a shadow of what they were #and his planet is near uninhabitable and he also grew up alone after a point in time #so he wanted to live somewhere else but bc his ego is so inflated by him being a descendant hes like. a conquerer and a bitch #this isnt me woobifying him hes still a villain in the first game very much but he’s egotistical and has no people skills #and he thinks hes supposed to be this grand inventor wizard who everyone should bow down to #hes got a complex is what im saying #and he was wayyyy in over his head and he literally nearly dies from the master crowns possession #echoed voice #also think hes really close to the rtdl gang and lor post redemption bc theyre the first real friends hes ever had #i mean the lor lets him fly it still so i think it likes him. i think it finds him endearing bc it did know the ancients #and hes like…. wow i have friends now. im gonna break my back trying to impress them’’ and builds multiple theme parks #styled after him ofc bc hes still obsessed w himself he just knows not to pull that shit now #rtdl liveblog #damn this was a meme post and i went blorbo mode on magolor sorry. lmao

[jvzebel-x]

Do you really think youre better than rich people just because you don't have money?

of course i do, lmao, &i'm fucking right, too.

💘🌹💋

#the Poor™ builds character isnt that what they want us all to think anyway? #its probably the one thing rich ppl actually have correct in the grand scheme of things-- #ive never met a person who would consider themself rich who wasnt made of skin&feelings as thick as rice paper lmao. #why else do you think nepo babies have made such an obscene spectacle of themselves #bc theyre finding out money can buy everything but the lie of actual talent or individual success #from ppl who ACTUALLY have to put in effort to the things they do bc theres no safety net in the form of mommy+daddys money lmao. #why else do you think old money is so comfortable having their access to money literally define their whole families #but the second you bring up the WHERE of how the family cash&legacy came to be its all 'but that wasnt ME im not THEM #thats all ANCIENT HISTORY' lmao. #it aint my fault im a real person w depth&talent derived from years of practice that i needed to figure out myself #nor is it my fault ppl w money have never had to be real ppl bc they could afford not to be lmao. #maybe they can just pull themselves up by their bootstraps&develop into real ppl one day instead of shallow husks of selfish frivolity. ♡ #💌

[timeisacephalopod]

I don't know why my mom thought I was any kind of straight as a kid my favorite Scooby Doo character was Velma.

#winters ramblings #scooby and shaggy were close seconds but like velma is the most queer #also no straugh kid loved glee and lady gaga as much as i did honestly i dont think i was subtle #never needed to be my parents were always very clear that they didnt care about shit like that #so like i was VERY OBVIOUSLY QUEER in like 2000 ways more shit parents would squash out of their kid #like the colored hair the campy fashion the messing with gender presentation #like i still do that like ill be feminine but youre not gunna like it because i dress like a monster high doll #and thats feminine as shit but its Monkey Pawed and i always did do that plus i was OBSESSED with boys toys as a kid #which to be fair was because girls toys... werent toys plastic kitchen sets are not toys plastic vacuums also arent toys #which to be fair we never had a vacuum and mom banned us from the real one after i murdered a grand total of 3 #but like also it was very clear Gender Things might bot have been cis neither of my sisters had any of those traits #i was the only one who bucked any kind of trend and i chose to buck ALL of them whyd they think i was straight #girl i wasnt SHITE that was expected of me lmao still aint and to a point thats fine although i do wish i had a full time job #not because i want to lick boot but because working more gours would make my life easier even if itd also make my life harder #still in every other way i was a Weird Kid amd my mom knew it OBVIOUSLY i was Some Type of Gay

[my-chemical-rot]

Cutting meat out of your diet is so much easier than people make it out to be. And you don’t even have to replace it by eating a shit ton of soy or anything. People act like it’s such a bigger deal than it actually is

#i don’t think people should have to go vegetarian or be shamed for eating meat #But also some people have such a pointless vitriolic hatred for vegetarians/vegans #Like they hear you’re a vegetarian or vegan and immediately assume you’re gonna shame them for eating meat #& then immediately jump into what about quinoa what about soy you’re also a bad person you should eat meat again you’re unhealthy actually #First of all I haven’t eaten quinoa since I was like five. & I make a conscious effort to avoid filling my diet with soy #And while I’m not doing great on protein intake that has everything to do with me being an°rexic and less to do with being vegetarian lmao #And again sometimes people make dietary choices just because it’s a dietary choice it’s not a big moral stance #And like a normal ass vegetarian existing isn’t a moral position or a judgement on you for eating meat #I do think vegans who judge non-vegans often in ableist & racist ways *are* a problem but I think there’s an equal amount #of non-vegetarians/non-vegans who are dicks for no reason to normal vegetarians/vegans who are just making a dietary choice #What you eat isn’t always a grand moral position or something you have to fight tooth and nail to justify #You don’t need to prove one diet is superior to another or that you have better reasons for eating a certain way or whatever #Anyways if you wanna know the truth I stopped eating meat because that one 3OH!3 lyric. #tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef that I’m a vegetarian and I aint fucking scared of him

[maledistributionsystem]

C'mon now, sit down. Talk to me, what is you so scared for?

Fuck you mean "of what"? Im asking you why you so damn scared of transitioning. Who is you scared of?

Yknow what, fuck them. Fuck that noise and fuck them for tryna put that shit on you. Ain't nothin wrong with you, some men are born butterflies and others are born caterpillars. There isnt some grand betrayal caterpillars commit against caterpillarkind when they transform, theys just doin whats natural, so why cant you?

Nah, nah man you focused on the wrong shit here, who the fuck cares if you're ugly? Moths don't hide in the night cause they're "ugly", they just sleep all damn day. Sure, maybe you somehow aint cute in a few years, but you'd be happy, wouldnt you? You'd see the man you are in the mirror, you'd see a mans hands when you're just randomly doing shit, you'd smell and sweat like a man, you'll sound like a man, you'll look like a man, which is exactly what you want.

You listenin to all the wrong people bro, transitioning to be a man wont make you no angry roid monster or magically turn you into a sexist. You'll be beautiful and secure. Look at you now, hunched over and wearing clothes 2 sizes too big 'cause you dont want no one to notice you. What if you liked your clothes? What if you was proud of your body? Dont you wanna look down one day and finally see a cock?

I know you still scared, that's alright, I dont think caterpillars really know what they're doing when they decide to go sleep in a little pod for a few weeks either. That's what i'm here for, you dont got nothin to be scared of, you just gotta trust me, okay?

Cool, now get up and c'mon, I'll do you a favor and give you your first shot. Don't you give me that, it dont even hurt lmao, c'mon.

#force masc #forced masculinization #autoandrophilia #autoandrophile #black masculinity #black ftm #MDS Originals #i had to do this to myself. which hurts #you know? #I hope some freshly broken egg out there sees this and understands that there is endless beauty in manhood #I hope he knows he aint alone. #every emotion has already been felt a thousand times over. take solace in the fact that you aint unique

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas

Meat, page 32

DAVE: yo

DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something

ROXY: yo yourself but this is important

DAVE: uhhh

DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??

DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely

ROXY: idk about that

ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not

ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

DAVE: a nap you say

DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything

ROXY: yea??

DAVE: nah

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them

ROXY: idk

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things

DAVE: so whats wrong with her again

DAVE: like

DAVE: some sort of demonic nap

ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se

ROXY: shes just like

ROXY: floatin here... upright

ROXY: eyes wide open

ROXY: and theyre both pitch black

DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads

ROXY: lol

ROXY: no dude

ROXY: like what im sayin is

ROXY: she looks a lil possessed

ROXY: by uh

ROXY: grim spirits n shit

DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again

ROXY: no!

ROXY: this isnt grimbark

ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it

ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??

ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke

DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad

DAVE: but its not really my field

DAVE: did you try calling rose

ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan

ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing

ROXY: but rose isnt picking up

ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair

ROXY: i called an unruly number of times

ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...

DAVE: huh

DAVE: spooky

ROXY: hella spooky

ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong

DAVE: yeah i guess

DAVE: what do you think is up

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it

ROXY: its gone

ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched

DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective

DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year

ROXY: dave

DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched

ROXY: ..............

DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jakes on ur side then?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access

ROXY: god dammit jane

DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever

ROXY: siiigh

ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh

ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news

DAVE: yeah sorry about that

DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean

DAVE: not sorry that were doin it

DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by

DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do

DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation

DAVE: like objectively speaking

ROXY: ugh pls dont start

DAVE: just sayin

ROXY: idgAF!!!

DAVE: also

DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform

DAVE: i also think

DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job

DAVE: full stop

ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: of course i do

DAVE: because i...

ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question

ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while

DAVE: uh alright shoot

ROXY: yea soooo

ROXY: dave how did you come out

DAVE: ...

DAVE: what?

ROXY: like as not being straight

ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u

ROXY: do u think its ever too late to

ROXY: idk

ROXY: change ur mind?

ROXY: about the person you wanna be??

ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character

ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”

ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy

ROXY: is greedy even the right word

ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells

ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences

ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)

DAVE: ids n preffies

DAVE: damn

DAVE: thats fucking good

DAVE: anyway uh

DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now

ROXY: yeah ur right

ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam

ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here

DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that

DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time

DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping

DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade

DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her

DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital

ROXY: im thinkin about it!!

ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like

ROXY: mess with her tho?

ROXY: how would i even take her there...

DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital

DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes

DAVE: probably not a literal rap though

ROXY: wow im disappointed

DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?

DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me

ROXY: :(

DAVE: ok so

DAVE: what ive learned is

DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages

DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay

DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward

DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore

DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud

DAVE: inside you start being like

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: maybe yes homo

DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay

DAVE: stage five is

DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described

DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal

DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine

DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day

DAVE: in really lame ways like

DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets

DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler

DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick

DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay

DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%

DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni

DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night

DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court

DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue

DAVE: anyway when all is said and done

DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you

ROXY: dave...

DAVE: what

ROXY: nm

ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this

ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk

DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything

ROXY: so whats stage ten

DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh

DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.

DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.

DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.

DIRK: They’re mine.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to

DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.

DIRK: I fucking dare you.

DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.

DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.

DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.

DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.

DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?

DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.

DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.

DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.

DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.

DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.

DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

DIRK: Sure you do.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw

DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about

ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?

DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me

DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at

ROXY: yea

ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho

ROXY: but im workin on that!

ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too

DAVE: oh DOPE

DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea

DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.

DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.

DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this

DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c

DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now

DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong

DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe

ROXY: dave!!!

DAVE: ok ok

DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what

ROXY: wat

DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right

ROXY: well first of all

ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??

ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that

ROXY: even if it was effin cute

DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did

DAVE: but i could start again

DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something

DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad

ROXY: ok but SECOND of all

ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific

DAVE: what

DAVE: ugh no way

ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!

DAVE: aw fuck noooo

DAVE: wow man

DAVE: i would never call him that

DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...

DAVE: wait

ROXY: what

DAVE: something feels

DAVE: wrong

ROXY: ???

DAVE: like some shits about to go down

DAVE: and i gotta...

DAVE: karkat! dude!!!

DAVE: GET DOWN!

KARKAT: WHAT?????

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.

DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.

DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.

DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.

DIRK: But not with bullets.

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

ROXY: hellooooooo

ROXY: dave??

ROXY: whered ya go

DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.

DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.

DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.

DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...

DIRK: Ow!

DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.

DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.

DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.

DIRK: All he needs to do is say...

DIRK: FIRE.

DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?

DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?

DIRK: So be it.

DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.

DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.

DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.

DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.

DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.

DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.

DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.

DIRK: Aaand, nope.

DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.

DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?

DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.

DIRK: Not even one syllable.

DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.

DIRK: Not that you ever did.

DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #dave strider #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #karkat vantas #meat epilogue #page 32

[ariesbilly]

misc. tag game

tagged by @blood-mocha-latte

a band you don’t like that many others do:

maneskin... tried a couple songs, wanted to like them.... cant do it

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

this costume contest i refused to enter because my costume was boring and i knew i was gonna lose by the adults were like "no just join come on itll be fun" and i was like... already consumed by the darkness at that point lmfao and i sat watching everyone crying. fun! lmfao

least favorite animal and why:

i hate a snake. i respect their role in the ecosystem but dont you ever put one near me. dont put one within 5 miles of me. no. i dont trust anything that slithers bitch aint got no legs! i dont like that. and the striking? dont like that either. i have to stop talking about them now im genuinely uncomfortable

hot fandom take:

steve harrington is not a good character. he is badly written. yall only like him cuz you think joe is hot. thats literally it. the man has literally zero positive qualities. apply this to every other loved st character as well theyre all bad the show sucks i hope everyone dies

do you were any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i wear a friendship bracelet and a rope bracelet i got on a cruise (i forgot what theyre called. sailor bracelets or something?) and thats about the extent of my jewelry wearing

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

i don't think i've ever cognitively watched a movie and thought that i loved it or hated it. i'm usually just like Well That Sure Was A Movie. <- im keeping prevs because thats what wildest thing ive ever read in my life i need to study you lmfao as for my answer, insidious movies are bad. youre next is bad. many movies this website loves i havent even seen but i know they are bad thats why i havent watched them.

three things you love about yourself:

my hair is getting real cute lately. i am a huge bitch. i stare at my butt a lot i think its fun

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

italyyyy i want to trace my roots

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

idk if theres actors i have beef with for their personality lmao several i dont like because they are overhyped and im sick of seeing them. ariana grande she counts as an actress i cant stand her lmfao the vibes are rancid also stop dating married (taken) men its gross its weird

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

for my dog to finally be healed from her surgery cuz god its a lot of working making sure she dont pop her stitches

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

if stancy is endgame im setting fires to buildings i want you all to know this. also fuck a steddie and a ronance but that goes without saying

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

stranger things. riverdales a close second but stranger things... you are all genuinely mentally unwell i would like to speak to your therapists and tell them shit aint working

list three things you find beautiful about life:

the ocean my best friend the ocean. animals just be out here looking for pets... brings a tear to my eye. im really struggling for a third life is bad lmfao my best friend? thats it.

any dreams for the future?

i try not to think about the future it gives me panic attacks

how are you really feeling today?

sleepy

tagging (no pressure): @panickedpenguin @avalonlights @ihaveacorgi @imsodishy

[typekiku]

thoughts on TYPE MOON stuff

well these are my the type moon stuff i have read or watched or whatever so far. this is my opinion only so its inherently correct argue with the wall or touch grass as the youth say SO here it goes drum roll

FATE EXTRA

boring as shit. no joke im sorry its just booty cheeks but of the not sexy kind. its beyond mid its so mid i cant even act like i enjoyed it. it has an interesting concept and world sure but everything else is doo doo butter.

only good part is nero being hot asf and ig whatever servant there is because i only used nero (lmao i aint playing it all over again) she was funny at times

see shes hilarious at times... im sure CCC will change my mind... right? it has sakura what am i saying its PEAK

also fuck them for including arcueid in this crap

GARDEN OF SINNERS

i honestly dont have much to say about this one it never really clicked with me nor did i ever feel anything about it... BESIDES TOUKO

TOUKO IS SO HOT OMG

clears throat

that aside yea i genuinely dont have any opinion on this series of movies good or bad besides movies 3 and 5 which were my favorites

maybe i need to rewatch em one day and really try to get into it

FATE STRANGE FAKE

my favorite spin off in the whole fate franchise. it has some of my absolute favorite characters and GIL like what else would one even want in life amirite

some of my favorites are:

Richard: the absolute goat and one of my fav servants ever

Enkidu: i want a spinoff of gil and enkidu... is that so hard to ask??

Flat: my son

Jack: my uhhh child ig

alcides: the closest we will get to archer herc but just pure cool regardless

hansa: cyborg priest. nothing gets cooler then that

and many more im already too ti- FILIA - red to mention

i've only read up to volume 7 so i gotta get to reading the rest soon

its just pure chaos and is fun while doing so despite being slow as shit

FATE GRAND ORDER

ok this is the most complicated series here in a way since its so incredibly mixed.

there are some of the highest peaks in fate and then some of the lowest lows so lets see

Highest peaks:

babylonia

Camelot

lb5 (YES olympus and atlantis im tired of acting like olympus isnt peak NO heian kyo its mid)

LB6

the rest of the lostbelts are good but not that good

goetia is an incredible villain

lowest lows:

first five singularities

solomon im sorry the stuff with goetia was peak but the rest was average

gameplay

gacha

serious lack of male summer servants like cmon i wanna see them abs

overall fgo is alright but some parts of it is straight up incredible HOWEVER all of it is seriously held back by being a gacha mobile game and has to work around that limitation

also it has barghest whom i absolutely adore

also fuck fgo for forgetting medea...

WITCH ON THE HOLY NIGHT

now this is peak. the most gorgeous tm work by far i have to say its simply an incredible read all around. even tsukire did not look or work or sound as good as mahoyo did even tho it came out almost ten(?) years after

on the story front i loved it too with a special shoutout to soujuuro being one of my favorite characters in TM (i say this often not my fault type moon keeps releasing bangers)

however mahoyo has two issues for me:

the story is clearly incomplete: i dont mean its just nonsense or whatever but when nasu said its the first of a trilogy you can just feel that in the story with alot of things being left in the air. this wouldnt be an issue really if mahoyo 2 wasnt basically dead....

i didnt vibe with the slice of life scenes as much as i usually do in nasu works: this isnt a flaw in the story more so i just didnt like em idk how else to word that

mahoyo is a great read however and i highly highly recommend you read it or else

it also has touko enough said

TSUKIHIME (original version)

Greatest of all time. Zenith of the medium. Hallmark of media. Gold standard of storytelling. Apogee of creativity. Vertex of invention. Crest of ingenuity. Acme of imagination. Pinnacle of innovation. Epic of epics. Legend among legends. Peak fiction

ok fr tho its actually incredible and you should read it right the fuck now

all of the characters are simply chefs kiss. while the visual novel is incredibly dated and the art is even worse you have to understand this is nasu and takeuchis first ever visual novel made on a barely existing budget.

boy do they make up for that.

the vn is split into two with a near side and far side.

while the near side is really good with arcueid and ciels route (ignore how ciel was actually really fucked over even in her own route its laughable and my girl deserved better) the far side is so much more better and really is where the soul of tsukihime and shiki the main character lies

i cba to review it properly besides saying PLEASE READ IT RN or ill cry and you dont wanna see that do you....

heres my ranking of the routes btw best to worse:

hisui

kohaku

akiha

arcueid

ciel

shoutout to satsuki you finally are gonna get the route you deserved

KAGETSU TOHYA

um it has some cool lore and some really good short stories and... yea thats about it...

dont have much else to add...

play it with a guide because the structure of the game is abysmal

FATE STAY NIGHT

what is there to be said about such a masterpiece? what else could be written about fsn that hasnt been written before? i am but an ant in the shadow of the giant that is FSN only seeking some crumbs to feed and live off of. idk what that means but it sounds cool.

FSN is simply tms best work all around. while i prefer tsuki over it and find the tsuki side of TM more interesting FSN overall is much stronger on most fronts but especially its main characters

Shirou emiya is simply the goat nothing else to be said tbh

heres my ranking of the routes:

issei route

heavens feel

ubw

fate

FATE ROUTE MUST BE REANIMATED RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SABER DESERVES TO HAVE A PROPER ADAPTATION RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

we need more medea and kuzuki holy shit are they cute

FATE HOLLOW ATARAXIA

thank you type moon for making a good kagetsu tohya. its actually impressive just how much better this is then KT like seriously what the fuck did they take to drop this banger of a vn

KT had such shit comedy i didnt even giggle throughout it but THIS

THIS is a emotional rollercoaster of a whole different kind.

introducing the third (arc and medea are first and second) love of my life Bazett and angra we go through an incredible main story intermingled with hilarious and wholesome slice of life scenes that never overstay their welcome

this vn completely changed my opinion on some characters especially illya who went from someone i was kinda 50/50 on to adoring her overall

ALSO MEDEA SCENES YES I WON MOTHERFUCKERS I WO- huh? whats that? fgo basically replaced her with medea lily?

one hour of sobbing later

if you have read fsn and not FHA then i must ask you.. wtf is wrong with you psycho? you like missing out on good things? that wouldnt be me is all im saying

read it.

(in case you're wondering yes there is someone i deliberately didnt mention because my opinion on them is too complicated)

TSUKIHIME REMAKE

im not a fan of remaking classics on the level of tsuki. with all its flaws i still find the original to be good enough to not need a remake...

UNTIL I READ THE REMAKE

this is how you do it folks. the story was elevated on nearly every level and if it was the complete story id say its the best ever in existence ever forever fr. its just that good.

there are three things i really want to point out:

while maybe goin overboard i really liked the buffs all the characters received and in general the whole worldbuilding is so much better now with idea bloods and principles and vampire hierarchies and arcueid inflation scenes (heh) its just epic

ciel got a so much better route that actually feels like a ciel route and not just arcueid route 2 electric bugaloo (and getting fucking cucked)

noel is peak

this is peak type moon and when red garden comes out it will be even BETTER especially with satsuki route because satsuki deserves it

there are some other short stories i havent mentioned like garden of avalon, notes, MAGNITUNING (look it up you wont regret it) its all great and worth the time of reading

eventually i wanna play CCC and read some other stuff like maybe prillya DDD, fgo jp like lb7 traum and whatnot

i just wrote this for fun so dont really take anything i say seriously except for the teeny little part where im inherently correct.

uh if you are reading like or share or whatever tf it was idk

ciao

#fate stay night #type moon #kara no kyoukai #tsukihime #nerding out #arcueid brunestud #medea ily pls come back #fate extra #fate hollow ataraxia #fate grand order

[gamerbearmira]

Short people

Lmao I was thinking about this movie. Marathoned it plenty of times and. I'm totes rematching it. Specifically for Desolation of Smaug, because it's my favorite

But basically just Mirabel asking questions 😭 then she gets made fun if for being the baby of the company❗❓❗❓

Eskitet

-----

"So...why are you called "King Under the Mountain?" Mirabel asked from atop her horse, looking over at Thorin. The dwarf stared ahead, not answering. Mirabel waited for a moment, before turning back. She didn't want to be rude and keep pressing, her mamá taught her better. Bwsdies it could've been a...sensitive topic.

There was a tense silence before Oakenshield finally spoke up. "The castle is under the mountain. Or, rather within it," Thorin explained, and Mirabel turned to him with bright eyes. "It is a grand place, where my family used to reside."

"Used to?" Mirabel asked. She knew of the kingdom, and how great dragon attacked. But she didn't know the whole story. Balin spoke up next.

"Ay, lass. Until Smaug overtook it. He lit Erebor ablaze. It was truly something to behold," he said, throwing his hand up. "All of the gold and riches you could imagine are in that castle. A room filled with gold and treasures. And dragons love gold. Greedy creatures."

Mirabel thought for a moment before speaking up. "So...we're going back to Erebor...to take back the kingdom and the castle?"

"Exactly," Thorin said, his face growing dark for a moment. "171 years have passed. And I'm done waiting."

Mirabel's eyes widened as she looked at Thorin and the other company. "Wait, wait...171? Like one, seven, one?" She got nods as she gawked. "If I may ask, how old are you, Thorin?"

Thorin looked at her strangely before looking ahead again. "I'll be 196 soon." Mirabel looked at him in disbelief. He looked younger than her abuela!

"A-And you?" Mirabel turned to Balin, who laughed. "Just a tad younger than Thorin---178."

Mirabel sat on her horse, looking baffled. She then turned to Bilbo, he looked like he was in his 30's. "Bilbo, how old are you?"

Bilbo looked distracted and looked at Miravel for a moment as he walked. "Oh, I just turned 50."

"Lass, you're nothing but a wee baby," Balin said, laughing. "Only 10 years old. Not even of age for a Hobbit."

"But then...Gandalf?" Mirabel said, and Gandalf turned his head slightly, blowing smoke. "How old are you?"

Gandalf chuckled, gesturing for Miravel to lean closer, and she did, her eyes having stars in them as she awaited his answer. "That is a secret you aren't ready for, my small adventurer," Gandalf blew smoke into her face, which turned into butterflies. Mirabel sputtered, his face turning into a pout as the others laughed at Gandalf's antics.

"I'll find out one way or another!" Mirabel declared and the others continued to laugh at the small girl. She had determination, they'd give her that.

-----

WOAHAKSBUS so. So rad right. Don't flame me for the dialogue, I aint seen the movies in a minute, but I'm working on it 🤨

ANYWAYYYYY I'm probably gonna post a couple more asks later, currently playing wit a friend rn 🦅🦅🦅🦅 will also be doing art

I discovered the power of genderbending aus. Im abusing it with housebroken.

#my asks #my asks are open #encanto #encanto au #au #encanto mirabel #the hobbit #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #an unexpected journey #lotr #lord of the rings #gandalf #gandalf the gray

[anemcia]

Have you ever been intimidated by somebody based solely on their writing alone?

Have you ever gotten so invested in a thread?

Have you ever turned interactions with another muse away for reasons?

Do you find yourself practicing favouritism with certain blogs/muns/threads?

Munday: Guilty as CHARGED - [ACCEPTING]

//I'm on mobile for the time being so here's a selfie of me and my poké daughter, Konpeita 🎭🌿

Question 1✨: I wouldn't necessarily say I've been intimidated by another person's writing style, but I have been nervous approaching a few muns for roleplays. It's usually in relation to plot development, building relationships and tension between our muses (for better or worse). Sometimes I feel like I might be too pushy and I scare others away. Or that I'm more enthusiastic about something than they are (ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING. MY POOR LITTLE HEART😭). I die a little on the inside just thinking about it lmao. it's less about the writing itself and a lot more about if they're interested at all.

Question 2✨: YES I have gotten rather invested in many threads over the years! Some still trapped in my drafts! Some I'm still waiting for replies over. I am a patient soul, I can wait for the good stuff baby. Uhh there was one that started the same year I began this blog and it was a pretty cool AU I was doing with an imperfect Cell. I had an entire landscape of fun ideas, dramatics, action and so much more, and then... Poof. The Mun vanished. Literally the last post they made was part of our RP, and it's been years since the last update? 2019ish? I wont lie, it definitely did sting a bit, but thats just the way it goes right? I just hope wherever mun went, they're safe and happy.

Question 3✨: I have done it in the past over my eldest blog, I believe. I used to run Dimentio in the mario community, and during that time came a looooot of thirsty muses who were more interested in rattling his jester bones than actually doing anything fun. Had someone try to seduce him with a sexy wink and waggle of the hips, and at this time I was a filthy fujoshi, so "EWW GROSS DESU". Of course, I'm sure ive done this over this blog a few times before, though it's non discriminatory. Usually it's just because I'm very picky, sometimes it's just the vibe, but the grand majority of it all? I'm tired all the time, I have two needy babies and i can only focus on what the brainmeats wants.

Question 4✨: Don't we all? I find myself gravitating towards people / threads I have established a good number of times to enjoy them, but if I had to be more specific?? You, Viopolis, Kiealer, hopefromadoomedtimeline, risingsouls? Top of my list. Maybe it's just because I've had the longest bits of shenanigans with y'all, but a lot of it is the plots. Fun plots, ones ive often dropped the ball on and feel like a douche for. I do apologize for letting you guys down on that end. If it aint me feeling anxious over pestering anyone, it's me saving my energy for my babies who need me. We can pick up where we leave off, yanno? I just get embarrassed easily guys 😔

#《🌼》𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 [answered memes] #《🌊》𝑨𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒔 [ooc] #//guuuuhuhuhhuuuuhuhuuuhhhhuuuuuu #//I try to get over those wee lil anxieties #saiyanandproud

[horrocious]

Oki oki i read up on your card an agree aint no way h*tero stuff with Reinhardt will fly on my blog either, you either poly or have a gender fucked up and silly enough to be considered fruity even in a monogamous relationship/lh

But MAN has she been absolutely cooking my brain when normally im very shy/insecure with oc/canon content but this time the simping got so bad i folded and drew oc/reinhardt wedding for valentines day, usually the only time i do oc/canon is very rarely in fics that stay in the notes app never to see the light of day and even less so when it comes to art, just to give an image of how BAD i’ve been simping

ive blown up 3 discord servers as of now with my simping and am being given judgmental looks by my friends with no other reinhardt simp to turn to so i have come to you kind internet stranger

(ps you’re p cool, i like ya vibes :> )

it's always nice to meet a fellow traveler as I have also been absolutely cooked by the Grand Marshal and her scars, her moral ambiguity, and of course how buff she is (I think I'm the only one with Reinhardt x Victoria Brainrot though lmao, or at least the only one writing about it)

(ps that oc/reinhardt art sounds cute as hell)

(pps I think you're p cool too)

#ask horrocious #alchemy stars

[elverted]

very messy post to kinda formulate some thoughts but overall i think the big vibe is i got their point and their vision and not that i don’t necessarily agree with it or anything i just think ... well, it’s kinda a retread of her s2 story?? like she wanted to find out who she was, she went to go find mama, someone who is so integral to her self image and her background and i just feel like she kinda got her answers in s2 abt who she is... it’s normal for her to be really self conscious and have all of this poor self esteem however, since she’s practically been thrown into “normal society / high school” so i think like -- anyway here are some ideas

PAPA DIED IN S1

like i get it, and her denial of his request for her to understand, him calling her family -- good shit, but ugh the whole concept of her being in his clutches again, going through the whole trauma of being a lab rat, her bodily autonomy taken from her and practically dying fourteen times to “learn the truth of her background” ... aint it. im all for her going on like a quest with her friends to figure this out too.

CALI BYERS IN HAWKINS

since i’m really digging the whole cali byers goes to hawkins for spring break maybe her being back in hawkins, seeing chrissy die / fred die triggers repressed memories ?? there can be a multitude of events that can still happen, maybe she can still get into trouble with the law, etc -- and maybe that’s where owens can come in and clear her shit for her since u kno ... but other than that he can go die bc he helped her be free and for what lmao

CONSIDERING JANE NOT TO BE IN HIGH SCHOOL

i just think like ??? it was a lot of unnecessary stress / pressure, paired with a whole move across the country which is hard for anyone but jane who literally has been in hiding for the past 3 years just ... she is so strong and adaptable but i think in the grand scheme of things it was too much put on her??? maybe she is held back, im thinking she gets additional tutoring, etc but i can’t see her beyond like erica’s level in school maybe even less to catch her up with the skills she’s missing -- like she shouldn’t be in algebra if she doesnt even understand PEMDAS ??? or fractions :/// sure will, jon, and joyce can help but i just think throwing her into high school of all places is a stretch and would really burn her out and ruin any potential enjoyment from school :( 

that’s literally all i have spoons for rn <3

#eggo run : ooc posts #this is not as detailed as i would like #but i'd be down to discuss with anyone!1 #<3 <3 <3

[timeisacephalopod]

The other day I was reading the notes of this post (Bad Idea) and there was this piss guzzler in the comments simping for landlords SO HARD he literally spent like 3 weeks arguing in them notes about how he fully believed tenants should pay for bed bug removal.

Now, as someone who just got gassed for (not bed) bugs that were not my fault, thats not how bugs work you don't need to be dirty and disgusting for them to show up and I fuckin promise you I did whatever the fuck I could to try and remove them (who the fuck wants to live like that?) I was baffled lmao.

Like you're telling me you think *I* should pay for my own bug removal because this guy did not know infestations just happen, and even if for some reason some Weirdo purposefully infested themselves with bugs, something zero people would do, what the fuck do you mean they have to pay to debug a house they don't own??!?! Like LMFAO excuse you??

Isn't the whole reason why people excuse landlords sucking up 80% of everyone's income is because they're supposed to pay for their own property breaking or bugging or whatever the fuck?? Like hello, I'm not gassing bugs in a house I DONT OWN lmfao how the hell is it MY responsibility to upkeep some other assholes property?? Landlord defenders are wild and also very, very not smart and this is coming from a Certified Dummy™️ myself. Also if landlords aren't responsible for any of this shit on properties that they OWN then what the fuck is their purpose? Way to say you do actually think their job is exclusively to hold basic human rights hostage for money they don't use to keep their basic human rights held hostage up to proper living standards, that's fucked up but ok lmao.

#winters ramblings #anyway LMFAO if you think THE OWNER OF THE PROPERTY is not responsible for the property THEY OWN #i dont care who caused the damage id you had a business someone drove into-this happened to the lcbo in my small town #then unless someone got busted and maybe EVEN IF they got busted lcbo is paying for the damage lmfao #it's ONLY with landlords and really any other situation in which we can drop any and all responsibility from a power structure to #an individual we do it in a fucking heartbeat. like i pay my landlord nearly a GRAND a month and i was INFESTED #if i were a commercial kitchen id be shut down and that was my HOUSE it was STRESSFUL likw FUCK anyone but the guy #who owns the property should be paying thats what the FUCK i pay HIM for dipshit wtf is a landlords JOB except to allegedly take care #of their properties??!? like are you fuckin kidding me?? literally why are conservatives the fucking dumbest people #why the fuck would someone who DOESNT OWN A PROPERTY take responsibility for it and no living in it doesnt make you #more responsible for it. i spend a LOT of bours at work- basically part time living but i aint expectex to fork out when shit breaks there #like wtf lmao i dont care how nasty the tenant was you HELD HOUSING HOSTAGE FOR MONEY you deserve the damage you get #maybe try not to hold basic human rights hostage for your own wealth and i might feel something besides disgust for you