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#also austin having flashbacks
seafleece · 1 year
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i think everyone should have a moment of disillusion with a creator they really like. not because of anything really wrong they do but just. an interaction that doesn’t go the way you think it will, a response from them that you don’t understand. a moment where you want to communicate something to them and they don’t hear it. it’s good for the soul.
#i have had like two capital m moments#where a creator i really like reacted in a way that bothered me personally and#i was really hung up for a while because of weird brain and then was like. they’re not. i shouldn’t be. nothing wrong happened#they’re under no obligation to consider things the way i do and i am under no obligation to hold them in my mind as an authority#we’re just two guys on opposite end of a string with cans. you can put the can down. they don’t particularly care that you personally#are or are not there.#if i am wise or cool to you and not at least a little cringe. that should change.#like. being autistic and assuming everyone is for the purpose of giving each other social grace#because it’s how you would want to be treated. sometimes talking is weird and it doesn’t go right#maybe it’ll go better next time. maybe it won’t. no one is a bad person.#anyway#in the middle of typing this i had a vivid flashback#to saying something silly on twitter about riverdale and austin walker replying and me feeling so silly#for having this opinion when it wasn’t called upon yk?#and then i went and watched riverdale and was like oh no i get it. the exchange would go much differently with the knowledge i now possess#but it won’t! and now back to watching riverdale#fleece.txt#yes i have also imbibed weed this evening much to the chagrin of that one anon#literally every time i’m high i think of them it’s so funny#somewhere they’re going >:( and i’m molting spiritually due to the taste of food#on another note if y’all only KNEW what one of the two stories is#genuinely one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me and no one knows it even happened unless i tell them#it’s beautiful it’s harmless yet debilitating.#and it’s SO funny
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hellishjoel · 3 months
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when you know, you know (mini chapter)
3.2k / pairing: linecook!frankie x waitress f!reader Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Main Masterlist | Notifications Blog | Ko-Fi
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summary: A flashback shows Tommy’s crew enjoying Christmas Eve at the diner. Frankie makes his first move with a New Year’s kiss. 
warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), half-ass editing because I’m exhausted (I’ll reread it tomorrow and fix any errors I catch, food and alcohol consumption, reader is has no physical description, swearing, smoking, pet names (princess, asshole ((yes it’s a pet name to me))), christmas/holiday themes, a first kiss is shared that starts this whole journey.
A/N: look at these stinkin cute dividers I made for Table for Two! like shut up! I hope this mini chapter holds you guys over for a little as I also give my focus to cherry thrill and delicate with the beautiful and talented @thetriumphantpanda! also thank you to @undercoverpena for helping me dial down my brain and helping me focus on writing what I really want to write first 💛
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Tommy’s Diner. One year ago. The recollection of events is slightly impaired due to alcohol consumption.
The last time it snowed on Christmas Eve in Texas was 2012. It wasn’t a normal, pretty, White Christmas. It was snow. And sleet. And pea-sized balls of hail. The winter storm began in Breckenridge, near Denver. It grew and spiraled, traveling southeast to Northern Texas. 
By the time the storm saw Austin, it barely affected the city in terms of transportation. Just beautiful little white flakes, all of them unique, not one like the other. And it was dazzling. 
Now, ten years later, in a mythically euphoric way, they land on the pavement in front of your sneakers. A snowflake lands on the toe of your shoe, melting quickly into the material. You let out an appreciative hum and bundle yourself tighter in your jacket, letting the size swallow you. 
The diner bustles inside. It’s busy, very busy. You thought people would like to be at home on Christmas Eve, celebrating with their families before the holiday rounded out in the following twenty-four hours. But some people have traditions here. 
Older couples who met here on a first date still make their anniversary appearances. There’s this older couple you see like clockwork every year, Maude and Gil. 
Gil said he met Maude by accident. Took off from the lumber mill in a hurry to grab a late lunch. Maude was there on a date with another man. 
But Gil said it was love at first sight, watching her push her straw around the milkshake glass and trying to seem moderately entertained by her date. Gil thought they were a total match the instant he laid eyes on her. 
But Maude didn’t think the same. Not at the time, anyway. 
Gil said it was fine because he knew. He just knew. Even if Maude thought their timing wasn’t right at the moment, he’d try again when it was right. 
Maude said she found it endearing; how he’d chase, beg, concede, anything he had to do to get her to at least go out with him. He was persistent. And it paid off. 
Now, all these years later, with kids and grandkids, they were celebrating a date night before they travel to their daughter’s house for Christmas tomorrow. 
After penning in their order, you can’t help but smile at the couple. 
“You two are really cute.” A sweet grin is shared between the two patrons before they turn back to you. 
“When you know,” Gil pauses to take Maude’s hands across the table, wrinkles forming around old gold wedding bands, “you know.” 
You usually don’t get along well with older people. Sometimes you didn’t know how to talk to them. You didn’t understand the references they made and felt awkward trying to navigate back to the menu selections. That, or sometimes they were just plain rude, but you suppose anyone at any age can be fucking rude. 
In this part of Texas, some folks felt all too comfortable pushing religion or politics into your lap. And when they weren’t doing that, they were complaining about things that were out of your control. 
That light is giving me a headache. 
You don’t have any trees to park my car under. 
The mashed potatoes aren’t mashed enough. Like, sorry guys, but that sounds like a problem between you, the line cooks, and your denture implementation specialist. 
Then there were the more generous guests, those who tip well and sit in your section because they like your playful personality. Where talking doesn’t feel like a chore, and you’re so goddamn funny that they laugh at everything you say. 
There’s this ongoing joke between you and these older gentlemen who come every Sunday morning for breakfast. It goes something like,
“Hey, doll, did you put the whiskey in the coffee like I asked ya to?”
You’d playfully gasp, widen your eyes, and look at them with your mouth agape before you lightly smacked their shoulders with your ticket pad. “I certainly did not, my manager would have a fit.” You’d tease, wink, and pour a little extra coffee to top them off as they snickered. They were just guys young at heart who enjoyed making you laugh. 
Frankie would play cards with them on his break. Spin the chair around and have the back against the table, thick thighs straddling the seat as he nibbled on a toothpick. He always lost to them at poker but won at blackjack. 
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Unfortunately, someone really did put some sort of schnapps in the coffee. The staff’s coffee. You weren’t going to name names, but you definitely saw who did it. And you weren’t telling. Especially since you were enjoying your third cup. 
Christmas music plays loudly in the back of the kitchen, the restaurant having been closed for the past hour. But for the love of God, Rudy couldn’t get you all to clean up the place and go home. 
“Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock! Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring! Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun, now the jingle hop has begun!” The entire kitchen sings, all terribly off-tune, but it makes it all the funnier. 
You double over in laughter as Carla, your five-foot-tall manager attempts to put a Santa hat on Frankie’s head. He simply crosses his arms and shakes his head, unwilling to bend down and let her put the stupid thing on already. 
Finally, with a roll of his eyes, he kneels down and takes the red Santa hat like a crown to a king. 
“You’re only fueling his ego!” You boo, Carla walking over and cheering her cup of coffee with yours. 
The kitchen is noisy after hours. 
All the crew has funneled to the back, sitting on countertops as Lou mops the floor and tells people to stay out of his way. Water sprays from multiple sink faucets as the dishwashers clean at a leisurely pace, too busy singing a rendition of whatever Christmas song played next off the radio. 
The old dishwasher hums along as it cleans. People talk or sing over each other, and it’s just loud. You’d be overstimulated if it wasn’t for the spiked coffee in your hand. 
“You put this booze in here, didn’t you?” You whisper to Carla as she circles back to your little corner of the counter, looking straight ahead as if she didn’t hear you. She’s as silent as a rock, which you can respect. 
“Alright, some manager you are.” 
She snickers at that, playfully slaps your thigh with the back of her hand, and watches the line cooks and busboys lazily scrub pots, pans, and plates, too busy howling out what they think are the correct lyrics to the classic Mariah Carey song playing. 
“Frankie!” Carla growls, her actual manager tone coming out now. Even Rudy shudders at the lion’s roar. 
Frankie looks up, wide-eyed like a kid about to get freshly yelled at. He’s got a cigarette hanging from his lips and a lighter one centimeter away, finger on the trigger ready to light it. 
“Go outside and smoke that, you know I can’t come home smelling like cigarette smoke! My kids will get mad at me. Shoo! Shoo!” She ushers with her hands, Frankie smirking against the cig and holding his hands up in playful defense. 
“Sorry Mama Bear, I’ll take it outside.” 
Carla playfully scoffs as he ducks down to kiss her cheek, giving him a roll of her eyes in return. 
Frankie’s eyes meet yours and he nudges his thumb into the pack of cigarettes, one inching out towards you. 
“Come on, princess. Let’s go.” 
You purse your lips to try and stop the smile, but you can’t help it. You push yourself off the counter and join him outside, the kitchen door closing behind you with a whoosh. 
It’s colder outside now, and the snowflakes fall faster but still melt as soon as they hit the pavement. 
You walk with Frankie to the loading dock. Tommy’s doesn’t have an actual loading dock, but it has an attached storage garage that houses old equipment. The concrete has questionable stains of varying colors and sizes. A game you and Frankie play is coming up with dramatic stories for each one. 
The large maroon puddle was definitely a murder covered up by a secret crime syndicate. The dark green dribbles every few inches are from a lizard-like monster, trailing its way through the garage where its buried itself under the concrete until it’s resurrection day in one thousand years. Or so they say. 
Frankie pulls a blue tarp off an old brown leather couch, both of you falling into it with a heavy sigh. 
Tonight was exhausting. The holidays in general were. 
“You goin’ anywhere for Christmas?” Frankie asks as you hold out your hand for the cigarette, but he lifts it to your lips instead. 
A playful smirk dances on your lips as you lean in and take the cigarette obediently, both of Frankie’s hands coming up as one flicks the lighter and the other shields the snowy breeze. 
The nicotine swirls down your throat and chills your chest, a nice contrast between the warmth the alcohol has spread through your tummy. Your eyes magnetize to the pretty orange blaze glittering at the end of the cigarette. 
“Yeah,” you breathe out, smoke billowing through the air and then into nothingness. “I took off from Christmas to New Year’s, so I’ll be at home with family. You?” 
Frankie makes a noncommittal noise, distracted by lighting his cigarette. He flicks the spark wheel multiple times, but the flame only grows smaller and smaller. To Frankie’s relief, it catches. He takes the dead lighter, damn near out of juice, and makes a long chuck to the dumpsters where it clatters deep inside. Dink-bong. 
“I’ll be here- wait, until New Year’s?” Frankie asks in disappointment, head tilting affectionately like a dog’s. 
You’re a bit shocked by the dramatic reaction, eyes scanning over him.  
“Uh.. yeah. Why?” 
He’s silent for a bit, eyes avoiding yours before he looks out beyond the freeway and into the void. You shrug it off and lift the cigarette to your lips again. If Frankie wants to say something, he will. 
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” You nod your head towards the snow and Frankie agrees as he looks up at the sky with a fond little smile. 
“So, no New Year’s at Tommy’s for you this year, huh?” He circles back, and you’re all too curious. 
“Why do you care so much if I’m here on New Year’s or not?” Your demeanor is playful, but he’s dancing around the subject and you’d wish he’d just come out and say it. 
But he wanes on your temper and plays oblivious. “Was that Maude and Gil out there earlier?” 
You roll your eyes and shuffle closer to him on the couch. Frankie does the same. “Yeah. I wish they came here more than just on Christmas Eve. They’re so refreshing. They’re older, but cool.”
Frankie nods and lets the calm settle between you both. 
“Before Tommy retired and moved to Florida... Or ran and hid from his bookie due to his crippling gambling addiction, he said that he was long-time friends with Maude and Gil. They’ve been coming here for like… fifty years.” 
You scoff in disbelief and glance over to him. “Who would want to come to this dump for fifty years?” 
Frankie shrugs and smiles, leaning into your side as you lay your head on his shoulder. He’s warm. 
“I guess it’s all about perspective. We see Tommy’s as clock in, clock out. Run around until our feet hurt and work until we’re sweating pigs. The customers, people like Maude and Gil, they see this place as where their lives began.” Frankie’s eyes look beautifully starstruck in this moment. “Where they started, and where they reminisce. Where it all began. It’s perspective, princess.”
And just like that, he crashes the moment. Again. 
With a roll of your eyes, you sit up properly, shoulders shuddering inward from the cold. You shove off his hand that has somehow gone below the radar on your thigh, crossing your leg over the other and tugging down the skirt of your uniform.
“You gotta stop fucking calling me that incessant nickname, asshole” 
Frankie scoffs around the exhale of his cigarette. “Why don’t you make me?” 
“Oh, I could definitely make you, but where’s the fun in that, Francisco?” You smirk in his direction, but something shifts. 
His lips part but he’s at a loss for words, and his eyes dance over your face like he’s trying to memorize each pretty eyelash and the slope of your cheekbones. 
A weird feeling of charged energy zigzags back and forth between your bodies, stitching you closer together. Where the flirting goes a little too far and something could happen. It could keep going, like a snowball effect, both of you unwilling to stand down to the other. How far could things go? How far would you let them go?  
His eyes look incredibly deep brown in the night, but they pour into you all the same. The red bandana tied around his forehead keeps his unruly dark curls out of his eyes as the wind makes the strands flutter. He’s overwhelmingly handsome. You can feel your breath change, but you don’t want him to notice how your chest falls shallow under his eyeline. 
His husky voice breaks the pretty silence. 
“If you’re not here for New Year’s, then how are you supposed to be my New Year’s kiss?” 
An unbeatable smile breaks out across your face, feeling your stomach summersault. Oh, Frankie. 
You playfully shrug as you look beyond the loading dock at the snow that amounts to nothing, still melting upon greeting the asphalt. 
“Well. Sounds to me like you’re kissing the back of your hand on New Year’s. Just the same as last year. And the year before that. And the year before that.” 
“I’d rather kiss your ass, princess.” 
“Oh, I bet you would.” You both snicker and shake your heads. He’s still staring all too longingly. 
“Come on.” He speaks softer now. His head tilts so it’s closer to your level. “Lemme kiss you.” His head is hanging to the side, and he speaks with need. His tongue lines his lips and your breath staggers again. 
Your and Frankie’s cigarettes burn with abandonment, dangling between fingers settled in your respective laps. 
Why can’t a fire break out in the kitchen right now? It would be convenient. Anything to get Frankie from getting too close. Not that you wouldn’t mind kissing him, you just fear that you’d like it a little too much. And he would like it too. What if things changed?
All you can think to do is try to lighten the mood with a little teasing because it feels all too serious right now. 
“You don’t wanna kiss me.” 
Frankie scoffs and suckles on his cigarette again like it’s the most unbelievable thing he’s ever heard. “I would, I really would.” 
Fuck, it’s not working. “What if it’s weird? We work together.”
“It won’t be.” 
“How do you know?” You tease. 
“I just know.”
“Okay, but how do you know.” Frankie shrugs nonchalantly like it’s no big deal. “When you know, you know.” 
Surprise lines around your wide eyes, recognizing the all too familiar sentiment shared by Maude and Gil. The sentence you didn’t realize had so much importance to you until Frankie uttered the same words. 
“I- what did you say?” You ask, surely he didn’t just share the same expression. Or spare the same meaning. 
A cocky smirk tilts the right side of his mouth upwards. “When you know, you know.” He repeats unphased, eyes twinkling all too sweetly as he looks at you like you’re a wonder. 
It’s just one kiss. Nothing else will happen. You wouldn’t let it. 
Before you can overthink any further, before you can decline, his large palm casts itself over your cheek, thumb skimming across the silky flesh. Warmth floods your body, and it feels like time has frozen. The snow falls silently around you both, a soft whisper of the wind hissing through the air. 
“This alright?” He whispers. You feel so caught off guard, unable to respond with words, just a lousy excuse of a nod. 
The heel of his palm guides your jawline upward, lips mutually parting as you take each other in. Anticipation fills the air, fuels the rapid beat slamming around in your chest and nudging itself up in your throat. 
Your lips meet, warm and plush. You’re sure he’s not this gentle all the time, but he is in this moment. It’s tender and delicate, slowly taking you all in as if this is the last time he’ll ever get this chance. It probably will be. The bite of each other’s cigarettes tangle in your mouths. 
It’s unclear who deepens the kiss first, but there’s more of a desperation to this part. Both of his palms are on your cheeks now, bodies inching closer as your smaller palms fist lightly at the neck of his dingy white tee. You’re keeping him close, fuck, it’s so undeniable. 
The intensity that follows highlights a level of emotion you had far long ago locked away. Shoved into a locked crate and stored in secret under your bed. You didn’t like those feelings, they were cute looking from afar, but up close, they were monstrous. But you can’t deny you enjoy the movement of his lips against yours, both of you melting into a sweet rhythm that’s lined with desire. 
His tongue explores your mouth. Your fingers dance up the dip of his neck and sink into the warm flesh. He must like the feeling of your skin on his because he lets out a low hum of appreciation. The charged energy you felt before was now flooded, running on all cylinders to keep up with the feelings you and Frankie were exploring for the first time. 
It’s heated and flickers like his dead lighter. The bond grows deeper at this newfound connection, much different than a simple peck on the lips for a New Year’s kiss. 
It feels like it lasts forever but it’s gone so soon. You find yourself pulling away first, despite it taking all of you to do so. Frankie’s head naturally follows your own, wanting more, drunk off the taste. His lips brush yours again as you laugh. 
Both of you grin before you can stop yourselves. 
“Shit,” he mutters, pulling away finally as warmth kisses the apples of his cheeks. His thumb lines his lower lip like he wants to remember the electricity and the pattern of your kiss. “Sorry.” 
“No, it’s- fine.” You’re all flustered, both of you shifting farther away on the couch. 
“I got carried away,” 
“Yeah. You did.” Lie. 
“I liked it.”
“I know you did, Francisco.” The tight-lipped grin on your lips won’t disappear. But you could. 
Everything that follows is muddled sentences and interjections on both your parts. You start. 
“I’m gonna head back inside. Carla probably needs some help-”
“Yeah-”
“Are you-”
“Yeah, I’ll stay out here for a few more.” 
“Okay.”
“Okay.” 
You’re both nodding and you’re scrabbling for balance as your feet pace on shaky ground. You nudge your jacket tighter around your body as you drop the cigarette and smother it with the toe of your shoe. 
A shaky breath leaves you as you walk away and smooth out your uniform, thankful to have your back to him as you walk off and return to the kitchen’s back door. Or else he might see you smiling sheepishly. 
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Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Main Masterlist | Notifications Blog | Ko-Fi
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mrsevans90 · 3 months
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Puppy Love
Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 11
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Y'all, this GIF is down right SPICY but it fit the smut in the story so well I had to ☺️
Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?
Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 
Warnings: SMUT, Emma getting an attitude, Sy yelling, detailed PTSD flashback, bodily function/embarrassment, self-deprecating talk, language
MINORS DNI! Must be 18+
I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 
This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.
A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 
Part 10
I wake up still in the same position that I fell asleep in, on Emma’s chest and notice that my body feels incredibly stiff. Her gentle breathing and steady heartbeat are comforting even though I’m incredibly embarrassed and just want to pretend last night never happened. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long day. I notice the amount of light cascading in from behind the curtains must make it late in the morning, but considering I had a very active night I’m not surprised that I slept in. I carefully lift my head to see if Emma is awake and am startled when I see her big beautiful eyes staring down at me. 
“Good morning.” She says quietly.
“Mornin’.” I reply.
“How are you feeling?”
“Stiff. What time is it?” I ask her somewhat brusquely.
“It’s 9:38.” She answers after looking at the time on her phone.
I sigh and sit up so that I’m faced away from her. 
“Let me make us some breakfast. I’m hungry.” She quickly gets up and goes to the restroom to take care of her morning routines before she exits and walks to the bedroom door.
“Come down to eat after you’re done in the bathroom please.” She says quietly while I’m still pondering my next move as I sit on the edge of the bed. The tension and embarrassment oozes from my body as I sit there attempting to contemplate how to handle this. I haven’t been in this situation before. Alex has seen me have a small flashback at work once, but we didn’t have to talk about it. My grandparents certainly don’t know the extent of my PTSD because I purposely keep it from them. They don’t need to know how mentally damaged their loving grandchild has become. Aika is really the only one who has ever witnessed the extent of my depravity and luckily, she can’t talk or judge me for it. She’s just a silent witness who snaps me out of it with a bark or licking my face. Emma is the only person to ever see how badly it really is and I just don’t even know what to say to her. I force myself up and relieve myself in the bathroom before brushing my teeth and getting myself ready for the day. I look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder just how I got this screwed up before heading to the kitchen. 
Emma is humming to herself as if nothing has transpired as she flips pancakes on the stove. She has coffee brewing in the pot and has sat out my favorite mug that has a picture of a donkey on it with the words, “Do I Look Like a Jackass?” written across it. It was a gift from one of my warhorse buddies, Harper. 
When she hears me approach, she turns and silently fills the cup with coffee before handing it to me with a shy smile. Seems the poor thing is also trying to figure out what to say and coming up blank.
“I hope pancakes sound good to you. I also made some bacon and saw there’s some fruit in your fridge but I’m not sure how old it is.”
“That’s more than enough. Thank you.” 
I drink my coffee while she turns back around to work on the breakfast. Once it’s made, I set the table and refill our coffee cups while remembering to add the coffee creamer that I now buy specifically for Emma since she likes hers sweet. Just like her.
We sit down and I’m aching to avoid the subject but I know I just need to get it over with.
I clear my throat. “Breakfast looks really good. Thank you.”
“Anytime, baby.” She replies and I want to smile.
“I um… I’m really sorry about what happened last night. You shouldn’t have to see me like that or put up with it and I just want to apologize.”
“There is nothing to apologize for. I’m grateful you opened up to me a little bit, honestly.”
Unwillingly, I think to myself. I take a deep breath.
“Maybe, this thing between us is moving too fast.” I blurt out.
“By this thing, you mean our relationship? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought we were exclusive after our conversation the other day. Is this you trying to end things with me?” She says angrily.
“I’m just no good for you. You shouldn’t have to deal with a grown man who has nightmares.”
“I think that I should be the one to decide who or what is good for me. I’m a grown woman who has plenty of my own baggage and I’m not going to allow you to throw this away because you’re embarrassed or trying to protect me from the one person who doesn’t pose a threat to me.”
“I absolutely pose a threat to you!” I yell and slam my fist against the table. “Wasn’t last night enough to show you? I was wielding a rifle dreaming that I was back in active war. Damnit Emma! Don’t be naïve. I could have shot you, or hit you. I could have thought that you were the enemy and there’s no way you would have been able to fight me off! I should have ended things before it got to this point and I’m sorry that I didn’t. I was being selfish and wanted more time with you but I realize now how dangerous that is.”
“NO.” She crosses her arms and straitens her back defensively.
“No?” I repeat in quiet shock.
“No.” She stares at me with a look of fire like a mother chastising her child and even though she’s so tiny I feel myself cower back a little.
“You are ruining the best thing I’ve ever had because you are scared, Austin! And I understand how scary it was, believe me, I was there watching you fight a battle in your own mind. But I’m not afraid of you and I never will be. You need to understand that we both need each other and I am good for you whether you choose to believe it or not. You’re jumping to a conclusion either to punish yourself or me because you’re embarrassed that I know this about you now and I will not tolerate it. Last night, you protected me from what you thought was danger even in your flashback. You will not hurt me and I know it.”
I sit there for a minute stunned by what she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I’d be happy to tell you everything from my perspective if you could stop trying to dump me and actually have a vulnerable conversation with me like an adult.” She snarks.
Damn, she’s throwing some verbal punches this morning and it’s kinda sexy.
“Alright, I’m listening.” I announce and she takes a deep breath before speaking.
“I woke up to the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut and you running down the stairs. Aika jumped up and seemed concerned so I took her with me as I went downstairs, turning on lights as I went since you still had the house completely in the dark. I heard the backdoor slam open against the wall as you ran out and I held Aika back so I could shut the door until I could determine what was going on. When I turned on the patio lights I saw you run by with a rifle in your hands. I figured you might have heard an animal or intruder or something so I waited for a moment looking through the window before I heard you yelling. It was pouring rain so I struggled to hear you but you didn’t seem to notice the rain. You ran up against the backside of the house and were yelling different words, military lingo I guess, and aiming your rifle around the corner. Aika was going absolutely nuts barking and I almost let her out to get you but I wasn’t sure if your gun was loaded. Instead, I carefully made my way over to you and kept repeating, “It’s Emma, you are safe.” But when I got to you I could tell you were still actively dreaming, if that’s what we are going to call it. Your eyes were almost glassy but when I touched your shoulder, you immediately put your arm around me from behind to protect me and told me to get down and cover my head. You kept placing your body in front of me. I tried talking to you but you just kept asking me if ‘Lowell and Waites’ were still alive. I wasn’t sure what to say but I remembered the conversation that we had the first time I stayed here. I couldn’t get your attention since you were so absorbed in your mission, until I finally grabbed your face with my hands. That’s when you started to come back to me. You protected me from whatever threat you saw, not the opposite.”
I take a steadying breath and try to calm my heart rate. Hearing her talk about something I’ve done during a flashback is strange, because she’s the first to actually witness it and tell me what I did. I guess it’s like sleepwalking, or undergoing anesthesia where you remember specific events but they are different to what actually happened.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“I’m not. I hate that you had to go through that in real life, and again in your flashbacks but I’m glad that I was there to see it. I think I understand you a bit more and I want to be there for you.” She says earnestly.
“If you want to apologize for something, you can apologize for trying to dump me.” She says moments later with an attitude.
I can’t help but crack a smile at her gumption. She is something else.
“I’m sorry for trying to dump you.” I whisper and she stands and comes over to sit in my lap. 
“I accept your apology.” She smirks.
“Thank you for refusing to be dumped.” I look intently into her eyes. She kisses me sweetly before tapping my forehead.
“Let me in here. I can handle it, I promise. I want to know everything about you, even the bad stuff.”
“I just… I’ve never let anyone in.”
“Okay, imagine this. What if I kept all of my trauma about Colin from you. I know it’s not the same, but just imagine I didn’t tell you about him stalking me, or why I am the way I am about things. You’d be pretty pissed, right?”
“Obviously.” I tell her. “But that’s because I want to protect you.” 
“Exactly. I feel the same way. Now imagine if I told you that I kept it from you because I just didn’t think you could handle my drama.”
I roll my eyes.
“I never said you couldn’t handle it.”
“But you’ve thought that. Haven’t you?” 
“Maybe” I mutter petulantly.
“You’d be livid with me.” She smirks at me knowing she’s made her point thoroughly.
“Alright. I get it.” I put my hands up in surrender.
“I can handle this and I want to know everything about you. Even the stuff you keep locked away for whatever reason.”
“It’s pretty dark, Sugar. I don’t like thinking about it and I don’t like the idea of you thinking about it.”
“Again, not your decision to make.” She says.
“I decide what’s best for me and what I can handle. I promise you, I can handle this and if you just get that through your thick skull and let me be there for you, we’ll be good as gravy.” She said while thumping my forehead.
“Ow, woman!” I say before I tickle her sides. 
“Fine. I’ll be better about opening up. I just might need your help and your patience because I’ve kept all of my shit buried away essentially my entire adult life.”
“They teach you to do that in the military?” She asks with an eyebrow arched.
“Pretty much.” 
“Well, I’m going to help you undo that.”
“I don’t know that I’m going to like that process.”
“You’ll be fine.” She says before kissing me gently. “I’ll use my sexual prowess if I have too.”
“Seduce me to learn my secrets? You little minx.” She giggles at my joke and I breathe a sigh of relief that we can joke about it at this point.
“Do these flashback episodes happen often?” She asks.
“Nah, this is the biggest one I’ve ever had. I’ve had a few small ones, but nothing this involved before. Maybe once or twice a year before this. It’s usually triggered by something when I’m really tired.”
“What do you think triggered you last night?”
“If I had to guess, I’d say the storm. Likely the thunder was similar to an explosion or something in my dream.” I say quietly and she just nods and strokes my cheek.
“Do you have Nana’s brunch today?”
“Nah, she’s got some clothing drive thing at the church that she’s doing. I’m glad because I don’t need her scrutiny today.”
“Does she know about the episodes?”
“Not really, just always told her it was nightmares. I think PawPaw likely has an idea having been a veteran himself, but he keeps it to himself which I appreciate. I don’t need Nana trying to convince me to join some VA group to talk about my problems.”
“What’s so bad about those groups? I only ask because I have no frame of reference.”
“Nothing, those things are really good for some people but it’s just not for me. I tried once or twice after I retired and felt worse after them. Just not the type to get up in front of strangers and talk about my issues.”
“Survivor’s guilt.” Emma mutters and I glance at her somewhat annoyed.
“Think you’ve got me all figured out then?” I ask haughtily.
“No. Not at all as a matter of fact. I know there’s a lot more that you haven’t shared with me. That’s fine, for now. Just don’t get mad at me for being here for you. I don’t deserve that.” 
My iciness cools immediately and I agree with her. She’s just wanting to be here for me in a way nobody else has ever been.
“I’ll do my best, Darlin’.” I admit while tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“That’s all I can ask for.” She kisses me sweetly.
“What do you want to do today, Sugar? That is if you want to spend the day with me.” I ask her.
“Shut up, of course I do.” She says as she rolls her eyes and I growl at her. 
“Mmm.. I need to go to the grocery store and do some meal prep, but other than that I’m open to whatever.”
“Want to go to the store together? Hell, it certainly wouldn’t hurt me to bring my lunch a few days rather than eatin’ fast food all the time.”
“Ohhh! I love that. I can prep lunches for both of us.” She says excitedly and I can’t help but smirk at her.
“You don’t have to do all that work.” I say, thinking that I can cook my own.
“I really don’t mind. I have to cook mine anyway.”
“Alright, how about this. I buy all the groceries for us, and you cook the meals.”
“No baby, I’m offerin’ to cook for you. I don’t need you to buy my food.”
“Nah, that’s the deal Sugar Pie. Take it or leave it.” She arches her eyebrow at me and I can’t help but chuckle and smack her round little ass.
“Fine, but I’m not happy about it.”
“Military negotiation training continues to pay off.” I chuckle at her reaction. She attempts to tickle me, but I gently grab each of her wrists effectively handcuffing her hands by her sides. 
“Geez, Sy, I knew you were strong, but damn.” She says as she attempts to wiggle out of my grasp. She doesn’t realize that she’s also wiggling her ass against me and in a matter of moments, she’s going to feel what it’s doing to me.
I let go of her wrists and she acts like she’s done playing before she turns around quickly and shoves her fingers against my ribs. I jolt from the chair sideways as she laughs freely at what she thinks is winning this game.
“Oh, ya wanting to play?” I say with a smirk and when I reach for her she jumps up and takes off running. Before I even realize it, we are giggling like school children as I chase her up the stairs. The dogs are barking wildly and poor Aika has Mills jumping all over her in an attempt to start wrestling. They slowed me down by getting between me and Emma so she got a little bit of a head start. Eventually Aika gives in and the start playfully wrestling in the hallway. I catch her at the top of the stairs, my long legs being no match for her short but fast stature. Emma squeals exuberantly when I pick her up from behind and haul her over my shoulder. She’s panting and I realize I might’ve played too rough so I gently slide her down my body, taking care to be intentional with where I placed my hands.
“Shit! I didn’t think about your period. I didn’t hurt ya did I?” 
She smiles before shaking her head, “it ended last night. You didn’t hurt me baby, but thank you for checking.”
“Well in that case,” I say as I haul her back up on my shoulder, “I’m going to finish what I started.” She squeals again before smacking me on my butt.
I slap her ass that’s now exposed since she was still only in my shirt and grope it gently before throwing her on the bed on her back. I lay beside her on my back as we catch our breaths from our little game of cat and mouse.
“That was fun.” She giggles.
“Sure was.” I turn to her and smile. 
“Now what?”
“Well, I don’t think I’d let you go to the grocery store without pants on, so as much as I hate to, I suggest you get dressed.” I respond as I gently rub my big mitt against the soft skin of her leg.
“Mmm, maybe later. I don’t think I’m done playing.” She admits seductively before gently placing her hand delicately against my clothed cock.
“That so?” I ask her and she nods. My heart starts beating quicker as she begins rubbing against me.
“Right now, I think I’d like to get you undressed.” She says seductively before her hand slides under the hem of my shirt. I lean up and quickly pull it over my shoulders tossing it somewhere in the room. I’m about to lean over on top of her when she pushes me back and her hands slide under the waistband of my shorts and boxers. She grasps my erection firmly before pulling at my shorts and boxers to remove them, so I lift my hips to assist her. Once those are off, Emma begins kissing across my abdomen while simultaneously jerking my throbbing erection. My hands are everywhere and nowhere at once, like an overwhelmed kid given free range in a candy store.
“Fuck, Sugar. What brought all this on?” I rasp as I grab a handful of her ass.
“You trying to dump me.” She says and I pause and look at her concernedly. 
“Gotta remind you what you’d be missing out on.” She smirks before pulling my t-shirt off of her body and exposing her flawless breasts. She immediately pushes them against me and my responding growl has her grinning. Her warm, soft skin rubbing against my torso has me aching to take control and flip her over. Emma’s tiny hand still pumping my cock has me frozen and her gorgeous body, now only clad in a little pink thong has me hypnotized. I can’t stop myself from humping further into her hand as I feel her warm breath slowly making her way up my torso before sucking on my neck.
“Sugar, you’re playing a real dangerous game here.” I warn as she bites and sucks a hickey right above my collarbone. At the same time, I’m so hard that it’s painful and beads of precum are continually leaking from my slit as she uses it for further lubrication towards her ministrations.
Emma sucks on my earlobe before lightly whispering in my ear, “Ah, I like playing games with you.” Goosebumps erupt all over my skin and that’s when my resolve breaks.
Without thinking, I flip Emma over and tear her tiny thong to shreds as I rip in from her body. She gasps with either surprise or overwhelming need but I don’t pay attention as I pull her in for a brutal kiss. She starts to try and take control back by grabbing at my forearms, but I quickly trap both of her arms above her head using one of my hands to secure them. 
“Now who’s in control?” I ask her smugly as I take in her beauty. Her breasts, peaked and heaving from the excitement are so sexy that I ache just from looking at them. Her little belly ring shimmering in the sunlight that streams in from the window somehow makes me even harder.
“Still me. I say stop and I know you’ll immediately discontinue what you’re doing.” She smiles triumphantly.
I smirk at her, because she’s exactly right. She holds all the power here, and I’m damn glad she knows it. Seems she wasn’t able to have that in her last relationship and I’ll do everything in my power to see that she knows she’s in control. 
“You’re exactly right, Darlin’.” I say with a smile and her returning grin stuns me.
“Lucky for you, I like it when you take control and toss me around.” She divulges as she squirms under me and I can’t help but rut against her legs.
“That so?” I ask and she nods dumbly.
“Well ask and you shall receive.” I say before capturing her lips in a messy kiss. I trail my other hand slowly down her body before inserting my middle finger into her core and keen as she moans in pleasure at the intrusion. I pump a few times before adding a second finger and her body arches pleasantly off the bed.
“Fuck, Sy!” Emma shouts as I curl them in search of her g-spot. I grin victoriously when I know I’ve found it based on the reaction of her body. I start worshipping her titties that are so conveniently pressed right in front of my mouth and that seems to spur her on. I’m leaking all over her thigh as I’m so turned on but I need to get her there first.
I’m still holding her arms above her body and that’s how I keep her still as she squirms and moans exuberantly once her first orgasm washes over her. I observe the pure bliss ease across her facial features as she reaches her climax and I can hear the audible squelch of her arousal each time I pump my fingers into her core. After I’m sure to help her through it, I slide my fingers out and wipe the juices along my shaft, squeezing it to release a little bit of pressure as I do. I look at a completely blissed-out Emma as I pump myself a few times before I hear her quietly request, “Fuck me, Captain Syverson. Fuck me hard.” 
I groan before capturing her lips in a filthy kiss before I flip her over. I lift her hips up off the bed and am appreciating the view of her perfect little peach and round delicious ass in the air before she shakes it at me. I smack her ass before sliding in and barely giving her time to recover as I slam into her. 
“Y’okay?” I ask after she gasped loudly and she nodded before pushing herself further back on me. 
I groan and she does it again so I stay there perfectly still for a few moments as I watch the erotic way Emma fucks herself on my cock in doggy style position. Her back is perfectly arched and she flips that mane of hair over her shoulder as she drives herself back on me again. Fuckin’ hell. I can't help myself when I wrap her hair around my fist as I fuck her harder.
My hands are in tight fists as I’m trying to keep from busting a nut so soon after we started but I know I’m not going to last long. I grab ahold of her hips and drive myself into her sopping wet core and focus on getting the angle right. I know I’ve gotten it when I feel her flutter around me. 
“Yeah? Ya like that? Takin’ Sy’s cock all the way up in your tummy? Mmm, mmm, mmm, you look so fucking good like this, Sugar. This perfect ass slamming against me as I fuck that sweet, juicy peach.” I tell her and her moans get louder.
“Tell me, Darlin’. Tell me how it feels.” I probe her.
“Ah! Fuckkk! You feel so good, baby. So big and… and full and deep. Fuckin’ me better than I’ve ever had.” 
“Yeah? This is easily the tightest, tastiest little peach I’ve ever had before. You were made for me. Made to take this cock.” I say and she moans. I slide my hands from her hips and grope her ass before putting my thumb around her tight little ring of muscle.
“You gonna let me in here one day, Sugar?” She clenches all around me and I almost blow my load.
“May…maybe.” She says as I continue to rut into her. I add a bit more pressure with my finger and feel her clamp down on me as her second orgasm ravishes throughout her body. 
“Fuck, Sugar, you’re squeezin’ me so tight. I’m gonna cum.” I tell her and she moans as I piston in and out of her at a quicker pace to reach my high. My balls are heavy and full and I grunt as they tighten to my body when my orgasm washes over me. I still as deeply as I can in her wet heat as I paint her insides with ropes of cum and gently drape myself across her back that is now limp on the bed. 
Emma whimpers as I remove myself from her and I quickly push the leaking cum back into her when it starts to leak out. 
“Y’alright, Sugar?” I ask as she doesn’t move.
“Mmm.” She replies and I don’t know if that’s a yes or a no.
“Fucked you speechless huh?” I chuckle as I stand up and turn on the shower. The sweat dripping down my chest makes me want a cold shower, but I know Emma won’t have that so I get the warm water running before I go back to get her. She’s still completely spread out on the bed on her belly like I left her. I roll her over gently before lifting her up bridal style and carrying her to the bathroom. I set her on the toilet and am shocked that she pees without making me leave the room, but I don’t comment on it. She shuffles over to wash her hands before pulling her hair up into a messy bun. I wash my hands and check the shower temperature before she wraps her arms around me. I’m sweaty but she doesn’t seem to care as she rests her cheek against my chest. I aim the water on us and soap us up cleaning the sweat and the remnants of our tryst from both of our bodies. I kiss her forehead gently and she just smiles and nuzzles further into my chest with her eyes closed. After our shower, I quickly dry her off as well as myself before I clean up the clothes thrown around the room. Her little panties are in shreds and I remind myself to offer to pay for them as I throw them in the wastebasket. 
“You’re awfully quiet.” I voice aloud and she smiles.
“I think I’ve been asleep while standing up that whole shower.” She replies and I chuckle.
“You must’ve been. Didn’t even make me leave the room when you went to pee.” I joke and her eyes snap open in realization. 
“Oh my god, I didn’t. You saw me pee.” She says as she places her face in her hands in embarrassment. 
I laugh loudly because she must’ve not even notice me pee after her while she was washing her hands.
“It’s alright, I won’t tell anyone. I peed while you were washing your hands if that makes you feel any better.”
“It doesn’t. I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t even think, your sexpertise made me almost comatose. I claim insanity.” 
“You know I don’t care about that. You could even fart in front of me and I bet it would be adorable.” Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.
“ABSOLUTELY NOT. That would be mortifying. I would have to move out of the country.” She says dramatically and I laugh.
“You really think that we could live a whole life together, married with babies, grandbabies, and even great grandbabies and I wouldn’t see you pee or hear you fart?” I ask her seriously and am surprised when she shyly smiles.
“You think about us living a whole life together?” Truth time.
“Honestly, yeah. I’ve thought about it a few times. I know it’s early on, but it’s nice to think I’d be capable of having a future like that, and it’s even nicer to imagine it with you. Plus, it’s kind of hard not to when Nana is practically marrying us off in every phone call I have with her.”
Emma’s cheeks blush pink and I’m glad I was honest with her.
“I think that sounds amazing.” She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me and I swear my heart beats for this woman.
Part 12
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wheresarizona · 1 year
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September Part 4
Jackson House of Worship, 2024
summary: Joel Miller didn’t get a chance to marry you twenty years ago, and now that you’re back together, he’s not wasting any more time—especially after you both bared your souls the night before, revealing your darkest secrets to make your bond unbreakable.
rating: Explicit (18+! No y/n, alternating POV, age gap (10 years), unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, dirty talk, praise kink (Joel gets called a good boy), spit mention, spanking, Joel should’ve stuck to missionary, flashback to the first meeting, handwavey medical jargon, mention of period typical sexism, emotions, tons of banter, LOTS of fluff, wedding, Ellie taking her best man duties seriously, Ellie’s handkersleeves, sweet Joel & Ellie father-daughter moments, Tommy being a little shit, Ellie giving Joel so much shit, dancing with Joel, Joel playing guitar, angst with a happy ending, confessions, emotional hurt/comfort, talk of pregnancy loss (stillbirth), talk of child loss, grief/mourning, talk of suicide attempt (Joel), TLOU tv/game spoilers)
pairing: Joel Miller/f!reader (reader is a doctor with no physical descriptions)
word count: 24.8k+ (This is who I am.)
a/n: I apologize for the delay in getting this done—March was not great for me. A lot of people wanted Joel to find out about the baby, and oh boy, does he. This chapter is emotional; you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll feel all warm and fuzzy, you’ll swoon, and you’ll have a good time. Shoutout to the love of my life, @juletheghoul, for being by my side through this whole thing. This is unbeta'd all mistakes are my own.
Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!
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July 2002 - Austin, Texas
The clinic wasn’t your first pick for where you wanted to do your residency to become a doctor; it wasn’t even your fifteenth choice. You applied to fifty programs across the entire country, hoping for a bustling hospital in a big city or a large clinic somewhere you could have the opportunity to explore different specialties—pediatrics calling to you, but also interested in internal medicine and surgery. And yet, out of fifty applications, the place that accepted you was a family medicine clinic in Austin, Texas.
But what had you expected? You weren’t a prime candidate due to being a lot younger than others fresh out of medical school, and the real nail in the coffin is you’re a woman; gender bias in the medical field is absolutely astounding.
So, here you are in this clinic with its beige walls and oak wood accents, sitting at a desk reading over the chart of a patient the attending physician said would be easy enough for you to handle on your own, with it only being your second week in the program.
The patient is Joel Miller, a thirty-four-year-old male complaining of knee pain. This is his follow-up appointment after he had scans done the previous week, and your job is to go over the treatment plan the physician has already decided on.
Your nose crinkles at the other doctor’s notes, seeing he isn’t offering a long-term solution but instead is basically shoving a band-aid over a gaping wound that will progressively get worse over time. That wouldn’t do; already figuring out better options in your mind that would have lasting effects and offer relief—that’s something that drew you to medicine in the first place, always having to solve puzzles, making your brain work to help people and save lives.
You’re interrupted by Janis, the nurse who you’re pretty sure hates you, though you don’t know why glaring as she lets you know the patient is ready to see you. Maybe she’s just one of those people with resting bitch face, and you shouldn’t take it personally, except she’s so cold towards you. There isn’t anything you can do about it. Shrugging it off as you get up from your chair, your white coat on and stethoscope hanging around your neck, making your way to room four with the chart in hand.
There are many facts you know about the man you’re seeing: his name, age, occupation, vitals, what the inside of both his knees look like—knocking softly on the door twice, you enter, closing it behind you for privacy—those details hadn’t prepared you for what he looks like. When your eyes land on him sitting on the edge of the exam table, you pause, struck by how handsome he is—brown waves of hair, big chocolate-colored eyes, plush lips, ridiculously broad shoulders that have the navy blue t-shirt he’s wearing hugging his chest sinfully.
You gulp, mentally berating yourself for finding a patient attractive, reminding yourself you’re here to do a job to help him feel better, quickly regaining your composure and offering your name.
“...I’ll be your doctor today,” you tell him.
His eyes round, mouth falling open before he catches himself and closes it, seeing that gorgeous throat of his work as he swallows.
You need to stop noticing his attractiveness—he’s a patient.
“Doctor…?” he asks slowly, with a drawl you’re becoming familiar with.
The surprise is clear on his face, which is something you’re used to, the walls rising inside you, readying yourself for a fight because either he’s going to be okay with you taking care of him, or he’ll be a dick and demand another, older, male, doctor—which has happened multiple times this week and is why you’ve only treated a dozen or so patients.
Your chin rises as you reply with a nod, “Yes. I’ll be handling your care.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just I can’t believe you’re a doctor.”
Your eyebrow quirks.
“Because I’m a woman? Young?”
He shakes his head as he speaks, “‘Cause you’re so beautiful.”
That’s an unexpected response that has you so taken aback that your breath hitches, trying to control the butterflies that are wildly fluttering around in your tummy.
His eyes get big, realizing what he said, quickly backtracking, flush staining his cheeks as he looks away. “I am so sorry, ma’am,” he says. “It’s rude of me to be commentin’ on your looks when you’re just doin’ your job. You probably think I’m some creep.”
This poor man is beating himself up about saying the nicest thing anyone’s said to you all week.
“I don’t think you’re a creep,” you reassure him. His eyes meet yours, him gauging if what you’re saying is true, so you smile. “You’re honestly very sweet. A lot of people have a hard time getting over my age or that I’m a female in a male-dominated profession, so you thinking I’m too beautiful is a lovely change and also wonderful for my self-esteem.” You laugh.
His lips curl up.
“Well, I’m happy you’re not kickin’ me out. You bein’ a young woman doesn’t bother me—wish my daughter was here so she could see that if she wanted, she could be like you one day.”
The sincerity of his words has your chest going tight. In med school, a doctor told your class to let the patient ramble at the start of the appointment for five minutes because you’ll learn quite a lot about them. Usually, it’s things about their lifestyle or what’s actually causing them issues. What you now know about Joel Miller is that he’s respectful, a sweetheart, and a caring father—you’re fucked, realizing your eyes are drifting to his left hand, happy that you don’t see a ring.
Not that it means anything to you. He’s your patient. You need to focus.
“How old is your daughter?” you ask.
That’s a safe question. It’s important to build rapport and trust, plus you’re genuinely curious and want to know more about him to ensure you give him the best care—at least, that’s what you’re telling yourself.
He visibly brightens, and it’s adorable.
“She’s twelve, turnin’ thirteen Saturday after next. Her name’s Sarah and I can’t believe how quickly she’s growin’—feels like just yesterday she was havin’ me check under her bed for monsters.” He has a fond expression on his face.
“Wow, you’re gonna have a teenager. Are you and your wife planning a big party for her?”
There’s no way he’s single, not that it matters to you.
“No wife, or girlfriend, for that matter. Sarah wanted a slumber party with her friends, so I’ll be hidin’ away in my room alone watchin’ a movie or somethin’.”
It shouldn’t excite you to hear he doesn’t have a partner, but there’s a thrill moving through you.
“Sounds like my ideal Saturday night—just relaxing watching tv or a movie.”
“Yeah?” He smiles. “We got somethin’ in common, then.” He scratches at the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish. “I, uh, wanna apologize again. You just caught me off guard, is all—was expectin’ Dr. Carlson with his bad combover.” There’s a smirk on his face when he continues, “But you’re a nice surprise.”
“Because I’m easier on the eyes?” you tease.
Don’t flirt with the patient!
“Yes,” he chuckles.
It’s time to focus on your job and not how his eyes twinkle, clearing your throat as you approach him.
“So, Mr. Miller—“
“Please call me Joel,” he interrupts.
You smile.
“Okay, Joel, I was looking over your chart, and you're having pain in both knees?”
“That’s correct.”
Pulling your pen from your pocket, you ask, “Has it gotten worse since last week? Feel any different?”
“No, ma’am.”
You jot down his answer.
“Well, that’s good.” Your eyes land on his. “May I take a look?” you ask, pointing your pen at his lower half.
“Of course.” He nods enthusiastically. “Look, touch, do anythin’ you want to me, I don’t mind.” He grimaces, whispering to himself, “Jesus, I’m embarrassin’.”
You can’t help the giggle that slips past your lips.
“You’re okay, Joel,” you say, putting away your pen and moving to set the chart down on the nearby counter opposite the exam table to wash your hands in the sink.
He lets out a long sigh.
“It’s been a while,” he says. “I’ve forgotten how to talk to women.”
“That’s gotta be a problem with fifty-one percent of the population being female,” you reply as you dry off your hands with a paper towel, tossing it in the trash when you’re done.
He snorts, you turning around and seeing the amused look on his face.
“I’ve forgotten how to talk to women I think are pretty.”
“Well, thank goodness we’re having no issue holding a conversation.”
“It’s taking a whole helluva lot of effort with your gorgeous eyes lookin’ at me.”
Heat is crawling up your neck to your face, focusing on getting your bearings back together. Taking a few steps, you’re close with a little bit of space, needing to get the appointment back on track.
“So, I’m going to examine your knees over your jeans. If I need to, can I push them up your legs?” you ask.
“Want me to take them off?” he asks eagerly.
It makes you laugh, him smiling.
“There’s no need for you to strip.”
“You sure?” he asks with a crooked smile.
“Positive,” you answer, winking.
What is wrong with you? You need to stop flirting with him. He’s a patient! You’re the embarrassing one here. It’s like something inside you shifts when you look down at his right knee, going into doctor mode, brain whirling as you gently touch it over his jeans. Joel tenses, a reaction that furrows your eyebrows, meeting his eyes.
“Does it hurt when I touch here?”
There shouldn’t be any pain based on the scans; if there is, you’ll need to have more imagining done.
“No.” He shakes his head.
“Okay. I need you to tell me if anywhere I touch hurts.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Your attention is back on what you’re doing, processing what you’re feeling under your fingertips, having him extend his leg so you can see his range of motion, Joel’s face pinching in pain, which you expected.
“I’m going to push up your jeans.”
“You go right ahead.”
Getting them up to his thigh, Joel shivers when you touch his warm skin.
“Sorry about my hands being cold,” you murmur, pressing into the back of his knee to feel his ligaments and tendons, comparing in your mind to what you saw on the scans with how it feels.
“Your hands are nice—soft,” he replies in a gentle tone.
The doctor-patient relationship is sacred and an essential part of healthcare, built on trust, respect, communication, and common understanding. You swore to follow certain ethical guidelines to ensure that your patient gets the highest level of care. Things might be flirty with Joel and you, but his health is your main priority—it’s your job, and you’re not going to cross a line, even if he’s tempting you like forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. While he’s your patient, that’s all he’ll be and nothing more. You’re focused, being thorough, and checking for anything that’s out of the ordinary.
“You don’t have to answer,” he says, “I know it’s a personal question, but how old are you..?”
You’re busy working, answering distractedly, “Twenty-four.”
“Jesus,” he gasps. “And you’re already a doctor?”
There’s slight swelling but no tears that you can tell—everything matches the imaging.
“I have the degree,” you say. “This is the first year of my residency—basically, I’m a doctor in training, but I’ve treated people.”
There’s a curious expression on his face when you finally glance at him.
“I’m just thinkin’ about all the schoolin’. Are you a bit… younger?”
Smiling, you answer, “Yes. I did a lot of work to get my degree sooner—basically zero life outside of school for the past six years.”
He looks impressed.
“Christ, smart and beautiful, your boyfriend’s a lucky guy.”
“My boyfriend is non-existent—was too busy with school. Well, no changes in this knee from last week—” You pull his pant leg back down. “—so that’s good. Let me check the other.” You move, immediately pushing up his jeans this time. “Does one hurt worse than the other?” you ask, going through the same exam as you did on the other, checking his motion and behind his knee.
“Uh, nope. Both hurt the same. Sarah says it’s ‘cause I’m old,” he chuckles.
“Has Sarah thought about becoming a doctor?”
As you thought, this knee doesn’t have any changes either.
“No—she wants to be a singer.”
You finish, putting his pants back in place, straightening your spine as you look at him.
“Well, she’s got a knack for medicine—she diagnosed you.”
He frowns.
“The pain is because of my age…?”
“It’s a big contributing factor along with the wear and tear from the work you do.”
He runs a hand through his hair, sighing loudly.
“You must think I’m an old man.”
“I don’t.” You shake your head. “You’re only a little older than me.”
He crosses his arms over his chest.
“Ten years is a lot.”
“Not really.” You shrug. “And you’re in excellent shape aside from your knees, but that’s bound to be an issue with your job.”
There’s a change in how he’s looking at you, and it has you gulping, watching him slide his thumb over his bottom lip like he wants your attention to go there, getting his wish, not able to stop yourself from wondering if his lips are as soft as they look.
“You, uh, think I’m in excellent shape?” His voice has gone deeper, ignoring the simmering heat in your belly.
“Ye-yes,” you stutter. He’s smirking, and you need to get back into safe territory, clearing your throat before you start speaking, “So, let me go over what we’re gonna do to help with the pain.”
From the look on his face, he’s disappointed, which confuses you, not understanding his reaction.
A tired sigh comes from him before he says, “I’m assumin’ medication, then?”
Oh, he thinks you’re going to give him a prescription for pain relief instead of actually treating him. It’s a common issue with doctors who are up to their ears in patients—instead of taking the time to figure out the root of the cause and treat it accordingly, they just write out a prescription to make the patient comfortable, a temporary solution, that has them coming back again, and again. Dr. Carlson’s plan was medication for Joel.
You’re moving to pick up his chart, your eyes scanning over the information, and turning the page, seeing that this is his sixth visit this year, and it’s only July—imaging wasn’t even ordered until last week.
“How long have you been dealing with this pain?” you ask.
“Last couple of years, I started gettin’ achy. Then in, uh, December of last year, there was a big job I was workin’ on—twelve-hour days for almost three weeks straight, and they started hurtin’ real bad.”
Your blood is boiling that he’s had to suffer for so long.
There’s a serious expression on your face when you look at him.
“There are other things we can do that will be long-term. With you being a single dad, the sole provider for Sarah, and working a manual labor job, I don’t think you’ll have time to commit to physical therapy, and I wouldn’t want to take away from your quality time with her.”
He looks surprised before his expression softens.
“What are you thinkin’, Doc?”
You smile warmly, jumping into what you planned that he can do at home, Joel listening intently as you explain each of the things in detail, him nodding along, seeming to like what you’re saying.
“You think it’ll work?” he asks when you finish.
“I do.” You nod. “It’s just keeping up on the exercises—we need to strengthen and stretch those muscles to assist with joint movement, and the other things I suggested will help with the swelling and give you some relief.”
He’s nodding. “I understand—do the exercises. Don’t wanna let you down.”
You pull a small notepad from your jacket pocket, placing it over the chart as you start writing out your treatment instructions, replying, “You shouldn’t be worrying about me.”
“Maybe I wanna worry about you. You’re the first doctor that’s actually cared about helpin’ me. Gonna have to come here more often to see you since you take such great care of me.”
“I’m not your primary physician.” You’re almost finished writing. “You’d end up seeing Dr. Carlson.”
“What if you became my primary doctor?”
Tearing off the page, you hold it out to him, his hand taking it.
There’s something here between you two, a connection you can feel, so you tell him truthfully, “Then all I could and would be is your doctor.”
Understanding dawns on him.
“Oh, is the appointment over?”
“Do you have any other concerns?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Then the appointment is over. If you have any other issues or questions, please reach out to Dr. Carlson. It’s been a pleasure helping you today, and if there’s nothing else, you’re more than welcome to leave.”
He gets down from the table, groaning when he stands up straight, folding up your note and putting it in his pocket.
Thinking there’s nothing else he wants to say and not acknowledging the disappointment that feels like a stone in your belly, you make your way toward the door.
“Wait,” he says. You stop, turning around to face him. “I have a question.”
Taking a couple of steps closer to him, you ask, “What’s your question?”
He closes the distance, stopping when he’s taking up your vision, focusing on his big brown eyes, noticing his spicy cologne that has you feeling warm. He scratches at the back of his neck, looking nervous.
“Well,” he starts, “since I’m no longer your patient and you’re not my doctor, I’m not usually this forward, and I know I don’t have a chance in hell, but I’m wonderin’ if you’d wanna give an old guy like me a shot at takin’ you out?”
Happiness thrums in your veins that he asks, unable to help when a laugh sputters from you, quickly covering your mouth, his cheeks going red, looking unsure and embarrassed. You quickly apologize, “Sorry! I’m not laughing at you for asking me out—I want to go out with you.” That makes him perk up, rewarding you with a dimpled grin. “It’s just you said I was the first doctor to actually help you, and you’d rather date me than have me take care of you. It’s sweet but also hilarious.” You’re laughing again.
He chuckles, running a hand through his hair, the other perched on his hip, keeping his weight to one side.
“Yeah,” he says, “there are a lot more doctors out there—sure, I can find another, but I’ve only ever met one you, and I’m not gonna miss my opportunity to get to know you better.”
It feels like your skin is buzzing, so caught off guard by how genuine he is, seeing it in those dark eyes of his.
“How are you single?”
Is there something you’re missing? Some deep dark secret? He seems so perfect and adorable. It makes zero sense that he’s unattached.
There’s a sad smile on his face.
“Not a lot of women are into single dads.”
“That’s a lie—I’m very into single dads.”
He laughs, a beautiful flush crawling up his neck.
“I’m happy to hear that. Can I get your number?” he asks, pulling out a Nokia phone from his pocket and holding it out to you. “I just got this.”
“Of course.”
Taking it, you punch in the numbers, saving them to his contacts before giving it back. He looks at the little screen, hitting some buttons.
“‘Doc’?” he asks amusedly, meeting your eyes. “Why not your name?”
“Can’t take the risk of a handsome guy like you meeting another girl with my name—need to make sure I stand out,” you answer with a wink.
“No other woman is like you. I only want your number.”
“You’re really laying it on thick,” you tease. “I can assure you that you’ve successfully seduced me, and I really want to go out with you.”
He smiles.
“Good. I really wanna go out with you, too. What time are you off?”
“Seven.”
“Can I call you later?”
“I would like that very much.”
“Then I will.”
“I can’t wait.”
The joy is evident on his face, and you know you’re wearing a matching expression.
He holds out his hand as he says, “It’s been a pleasure meetin’ you today, Doc.” Holding his chart with one arm, you shake his offered palm that engulfs your smaller one. “You’re already a mighty fine doctor.” He winks, bringing your hand up to place a soft, chaste kiss on the back of it, his gaze staying on yours. Your skin tingles, and your body feels like it's burning from the inside out as your jaw goes slack.
Your voice is rough when you say, “You are a liar, Joel Miller.”
His eyebrows dip together, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand.
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“You said you’d forgotten how to talk to women, and that is not true—not even a little bit. Got me thinking about kissing your stupidly perfect face.”
He crookedly grins.
“Stupidly perfect?”
“Yes,” you groan.
“And you wanna kiss it?”
He gets closer, your bodies practically pressing together.
“Yes.”
His hand comes up to cradle your jaw, leaning into his touch, his eyes moving from your own to your lips, the tension rising, thinking he might go for it and hoping he will.
His voice goes lower, “Then we better go out soon.” He takes a small step back, putting space between you, your heart pounding hard in your chest. “You busy tomorrow night?”
“No,” you breathe.
“Off at the same time?”
“No.” You shake your head. “It’s a half day.”
“Can I pick you up at seven?”
“Yes.” You nod.
He smiles brightly.
“It’s a date. I’ll call you tonight.”
“Okay.”
“Bye, Doc.”
“Bye, Joel.”
He brings your hand up to kiss the back of it one more time and leaves you standing there in a daze, thankful that out of fifty applications across the entire United States, this was the clinic that accepted you, inadvertently introducing you to Joel Miller.
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Spring 2024 - Jackson, Wyoming
For a cold night, the house is comfortably warm, the room illuminated in a soft glow by the bedside lamp, the sky outside dark and hidden by the closed blinds—Joel’s on his knees on the bed, your legs resting over his arms keeping them spread with his hands tightly gripping onto your hips, holding your ass up as he fucks into you hard.
The nap had lasted a couple of hours, the front of your body snug against his back, his fingers intertwined with yours over his heart, kissing his bare shoulders when you woke. Water was drunk, some food was eaten from the rations in your pack, and the next thing you knew, Joel’s face was buried between your legs.
Now, he’s grunting as he pounds into you, his thick cock pushing into that one heavenly spot that only he’s been able to find with his eyebrows furrowed and teeth bared—your head is dizzy with pleasure, fire burning so brightly in your belly that it’s going to explode at any second.
You’re gasping moans, your fingers digging into the bedspread, feeling so fucking close to coming, every thrust having the muscles in your stomach winding tighter and tighter.
“Come on, baby,” he says through gritted teeth. “Let me fuckin’ have it—you feel so fuckin’ good. Fuck, wanna feel you come.”
“Close,” you whine. “Oh, fuck.” Your body is starting to writhe, not able to control yourself. “You’re fucking me so good, Joel. Oh, god. Gonna come.”
The slap of his hips echoes in the room, the sound magnified by how wet you are, filling the air with the loud squelch of your cunt mixing with rough sounds coming from Joel’s throat and your breathy noises.
The heat builds in the pit of your stomach, growing hotter and thicker until stars are dancing at the edge of your vision, coming with a shout of his name.
“There it fuckin’ is,” he groans, “My good girl—I fuckin’ love you.”
Your body seizes up, the pleasure starting deep in your center and radiating out through your limbs, feeling it spread to the tips of your fingers and toes, your mind going hazy. Joel slows to a grind, letting you feel every ridge and vein of his throbbing dick, working you through your high.
The orgasm ebbs and your body continues to tremble—opening your eyes to meet his lust-blown gaze, a lazy smile on his lips.
“Feel good, baby?” he asks.
Smiling dreamily, you answer, “Yeah, babe. Feel fucking amazing. You’ve always known how I like to be fucked.”
“Yeah, I do,” he rasps, slowly thrusting, “and I know you got one more in ya.” He slaps your hip, making you gasp when he pulls out, letting your legs fall to the bed. “Hands and knees, baby,” he says, helping you get into position, your body thrumming in excitement, knowing what’s to come.
Your knees sink into the mattress, hips up, forearms resting against the pillow just how he wants you, looking over your shoulder to watch him grab onto the flesh of your ass, squeezing hard.
“So fuckin’ pretty like this,” he says, spreading open your asscheeks, the bed jostling as he moves. His face gets close, moaning when you feel him spit onto your entrance, the hot saliva mixing with your slick and come, your eyes closing, facing forward once more.
He straightens up, wasting no time to press back inside you in one smooth thrust, gasping at how he stretches you. It was something you’d never tire of, the way he fills you and how your body makes space to have him fitting all nice and snug, sliding perfectly along your sensitive walls.
His hands are grabbing onto your hips, digging in his fingers as he starts moving, soft sounds falling from your lips with each push and pull of his cock inside you. He sets a punishing pace, hearing the dull smack of your bodies colliding and his balls slapping into your clit, him grunting in exertion with how hard he’s slamming into you.
Your head falls forward, pressing it into the cushiony pillow, him turning you into a whimpering, drooling mess at how good it feels, the familiar heat in your core growing, expanding, as he fucks you into the mattress.
“You gonna come for me, baby?” he grits out, his hand landing on your asscheek in a resounding smack that has your cunt clenching. “You’re so fuckin’ wet.”
He’s making your ass jiggle and thighs quiver with every hard thrust, whining in reply, “Yes, Joel. So good.”
You have to push back to keep him from fucking you into the headboard, your arms trembling, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to your end.
His hand leaves your hip to massage your clit, making you keen, the jolts of electricity ramping you up and setting every nerve in your body ablaze, clawing at the pillow for something to hold onto.
You’re so close—everything he’s doing to you builds you up until you fall over the edge, chanting his name as the waves of euphoria spread through you.
“My good fuckin’ girl,” Joel groans, grabbing your hips once more to fuck you through your climax, going harder to extend it—snapping into you with abandon. It makes your head spin, and feels like the pleasure just keeps going and going—
He comes to a sudden stop with a hiss—pulling out, the bed jostles as he falls onto it beside you on his back. You’re coming down from your high, turning your head to see his chest heaving as he catches his breath with his eyes closed. Reaching over, you pat his flushed, sweaty chest.
“Tire yourself out?” you mumble.
“Yeah,” he pants.
“Shoulda listened to Tommy and stuck to missionary, you old man.”
His head turns a fraction toward you, opening one eye with a grumpy expression on his face, grumbling, “Don’t be fuckin’ mean.” You laugh when he pinches your hip, your body crumpling flat onto the mattress.
“I’m sorry, babe,” you giggle, scooting over to him to throw your arm over his stomach and rest your head over his heart, leaning up to kiss his chin.
“Liar,” he replies.
“I’m not lying,” you say into his skin. “I am a little sorry.”
“Good—did I, uh, tire you out?” he asks.
You snort.
“Need me to get on top and finish you off?”
His cock is still hard and resting on his belly, wetting his skin in your slick.
He lets out a long sigh. “...Yeah.”
“Say no more,” you reply, kissing his stubble.
With a groan, you’re moving to straddle his hips, one hand on his chest to hold yourself up, the other moving to grab his dick to notch him at your opening, him twitching in your palm. It’s a reflex when his big hands land on your waist, his thumbs rubbing circles into your soft skin.
“Fuckin’ love when you’re on top,” he rasps, his glazed-over gaze on yours.
“‘Cause you like watching my tits bounce.”
He’s unable to reply, his mouth falling open as you sink down on him, your eyes fluttering closed at how he feels so much bigger like this, your thighs meeting when you bottom out.
“God, I love your dick,” you moan, both hands on his chest, rolling your hips, adjusting to the fullness.
His voice is strained when he replies, “I know you do—always hungry for my dick.”
“Says the guy who can’t keep his face out of my pussy—fuck,” you gasp, tilting your hips to have him press into something divine.
“Mmm,” he hums. “Gotta make up for lost time.” One of his hands moves to your center, pressing his thumb to your clit it making pleasure spark in your belly. “You wanna come again?” he asks.
Meeting his eyes, you shake your head, “No,” you answer. “I’m spent. Another, and I know I’ll pass the fuck out.”
He smirks. “Nothin’ wrong with that.”
Your eyebrow raises.
“Except that you’d have to get yourself off with your hand—I’m good, babe. It’s your turn.”
“Okay.”
His hand goes back to your hip, your inner walls fluttering around him, starting to move up and down, rising on your knees and falling over and over, his eyes locking on your chest with his jaw slack.
“Fuck,” he groans. “So fuckin’ beautiful. Lean down, baby.”
It makes you grin. Of course, he wants you to lean down.
Your hands move to either side of his head to hold yourself up, riding him in earnest, not surprised when he palms your breasts. His fingers tease your stiff nipples, rolling and pinching them, causing electricity to shiver down your spine, breathily moaning as you work him over, feeling the sheen of sweat coating your skin and your thighs beginning to burn. There’s a beautiful flush covering him, his golden skin glistening in the lamplight, wanting to lick the drops of perspiration along the column of his throat. He feels so good inside of you, his cock moving in and out of you, going at a rhythm he likes, his face screwed up like he’s in pain, knowing he’s getting close with the rough noises he’s making.
“Kiss me,” he pants.
Lowering your face, you hover your lips over his. “Aren’t you needy,” you say between heavy breaths, nudging his nose with your own. “You want me to kiss you?”
“Please,” he croaks out, looking absolutely wrecked.
“My good boy asking so nicely.” He moans loudly, feeling his cock jerk. You give him what he wants, capturing his mouth in a kiss, pressing your lips forcefully to his while you keep rutting against him, his hands squeezing your breasts.
It’s loud between your legs, hearing the wet sounds of you moving on him.
“‘M close,” he murmurs into your lips, making you go harder, your heart pounding in your chest.
It doesn’t take much more for his big hands to finally grab onto your hips, pulling you down all the way to be flush with him, a dirty, low groan spilling from his throat as he comes—his dick twitching, the warmth of his spend filling your inner depths.
You’re wrung out, your head falling into the crook of his neck, panting hot breaths into his skin, Joel sounding just as winded, hugging his arms around you to hold you close.
Minutes you lay wrapped up in each other, your heartbeats slowing together, comfortable, happy, neither of you wanting to move.
Exhaustion is creeping up on you, afraid you’ll fall asleep. Your voice is muffled when you say, “Joel?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m old.”
He swats your ass. “Stop that. You’re not old.”
“Joel, I want to sleep—I’m old,” you sigh. “I’m too tired to fuck.”
He sighs, too, replying, “Fuck, I’m tired, too—bone fuckin’ tired. That doesn’t mean we’re old.”
A memory comes to you. “Remember that one weekend Tommy watched Sarah? You’d been swamped with work the week before, and according to him, you were an absolute asshole because you needed to get laid, so when the job was done, he told you to stay with me all weekend, and we literally fucked the entire time?”
You’d barely left your bed.
“That was a good weekend.” You can hear him smiling.
“It was. We barely slept and fucked like rabbits. Joel, we didn’t even last all of tonight. Face it, babe, we’re old.”
“We just need a good night’s rest, and we could easily go all night.”
“Sure, babe—“ You lightly pat his cheek “—just some sleep, and we can go all night like we’re twenty years younger.”
“That’s what I said, and I know I’m right.”
“You’re cute,” you say, moving to kiss his jaw. “I gotta get up and go to the bathroom—I’ll grab us some water.”
“Mmkay.”
Unwrapping his arms, you carefully got up with a groan, the bed squeaking as you maneuvered off of it.
Your first stop was the en suite to take care of your needs and clean yourself up, relishing in the delicious ache between your legs at being thoroughly fucked. Next was doing the same walk of shame that Joel had taken earlier, not bothering to put on any clothes as you padded down to the first floor to refill your cups, returning with them full of water.
Your eyebrows dip together when you get back into the bedroom, finding Joel in the same spot you left him—his head is cushioned on a pillow, his eyes closed, completely still, seeing his chest's steady rise and fall.
Normally, he would’ve gotten up to clean himself up and use the bathroom.
Did he pass out?
You set the glasses on the bedside table next to him. “Joel?” you whisper. “Did you fall asleep?”
You’re afraid that if you touch him, you might startle him.
“No.” He says the word clearly.
Stepping closer to the bed, you push his messy hair away from his face.
“You just comfortable?” you ask.
“...no.”
Well, the slight pause has alarm bells ringing in your head.
“What do you mean?” You stroke your hand over his cheek. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
He lets out a really long breath, finally blinking open his eyes to look at you, a frown on his lips.
“Don’t make fun of me…”
Oh, god, he’s hurt. Immediately you’re looking over his body for any sign of injury, noting that his breaths are even, your fingers moving against his neck to feel the steady thump of his pulse.
“What’s wrong?” you ask again.
“I… can’t move,” he answers, grimacing.
That narrows things down. “Jesus Christ, Joel. Hips or back?”
“Back—pulled somethin’. Fuckin’ hurts to move.”
Your brain is making quick work on how you will treat him, remembering you saw some ice in the freezer.
“Well, at least you didn’t break a hip,” you murmur. “Tommy and Ellie would’ve never let you live it down.”
That grumpy expression comes over his face.
“My hips are fuckin’ fine,” he grouses. “Just gotta lay here for a bit, and I’ll be okay.”
“Um, no,” you reply. “You’re not laying here and suffering.” Grabbing a glass of water, you ask, “First, I need you to drink something. Does it hurt to lift your neck?”
His frown becomes more pronounced, him lifting up as much as he can, and your hand immediately going behind his head to help him up, the other bringing the cup to his lips and tilting it for him to drink. Once he’d drunk the whole thing, he laid back against the pillow again.
“Thank you, baby.” He looks so sad, and it has you putting the glass back onto the table before cupping his cheeks and leaning down to kiss him softly.
Breaking it, you look him in the eyes, smiling. “You’re welcome, and don’t be upset. I believe you said it was sexy that I could treat your sex injuries, and I’ll have you feeling better in no time.”
His eyes are big. “I know you will,” he says softly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now, I gotta flip you over to make sure it is a pulled muscle and you didn’t slip a disk or something worse.”
“Okay,” he sighs.
Helping him get onto his stomach involves him making a lot of pained sounds and muttering ‘fuck,’ repeatedly. Luckily, after a quick exam, you confirmed it was just lower back strain.
Earlier in the evening, Tommy had dropped off a bag filled with clothes. Rummaging through it, you found a white t-shirt that was clearly meant for Joel that you put on before going downstairs to grab some ice that you wrapped in a small towel.
When you got back to your injured fiancé, you applied the cold compress to help reduce the pain and swelling.
You’re lying beside him, your hand holding the ice to where his pain is, his head turned toward you.
“I refilled the ice tray,” you say. “We just need to do this every three or four hours over the next couple of days, and you’ll have to take it easy. No strenuous activity.”
“Yes, Doc,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“You wanted to fuck for a couple of days.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry,” you reassure. “I was dreaming big and did not account for the fact that I am no longer an energetic twenty-something. Honestly, I am so fucking exhausted. I think everything is catching up to me—saving Ellie, finding you, us walking here to Jackson. I want to sleep for days. Then there’s the fact you fucked me so good, I’m gonna need some time to recover—I’m sore.”
“We overdid it.” He lets out a breath.
“We overdid it.” You nodded.
“But it was good..?” He looks hopeful.
You smile. “So fucking good—worth the pain.”
“Yeah?” He smirks.
“Yeah.”
“I reckon it was worth the pain.”
Once his back is iced, he’s able to get up, and you both take a quick shower together, deciding to call it a night. Joel’s protective instincts have him sleeping closest to the door with a gun and knife on the bedside table, you nestled into his left side, your leg hitched up on his thigh, resting your head over his heart, the strong beats so calming that it has you relaxing. There’s no doubt that you’ll sleep more than a few hours—you’re beyond tired and sated, so comfortable and happy that your mind is already beginning to drift. Add in Joel’s fingers sliding along the bare skin over your ribs, the shirt you’re wearing pushed up under your breasts, and you’re in heaven.
It’s the early hours of the morning, the room is dark and quiet, save for your even breaths filling the air.
His voice is gentle and barely above a whisper, “Baby?”
“Hmmm?”
“In the shower, you asked about my scar?”
“Yeah?”
“There’s one below your belly button that I don’t think is from bein’ stabbed. How’d you get it?”
His question has your eyes flying open, the sleepiness now replaced with panic as your mind races and heart pounds, knowing exactly what scar he’s talking about—it’s surgical, a cut made by a scalpel that’d been hurriedly stitched up after the doctor sterilized you.
It’s an easy enough answer to give him since he’s aware you can’t get pregnant. But it feels like a lie; it’s not the whole truth that you’ve buried so deep down inside your conscious because of the pain of remembering.
You’d been adamant about wanting to protect Joel from the anguish of discovering the extent of all he lost twenty years ago. You didn’t see the point in upsetting him and knew without a doubt he’d blame himself. Yet, there’s a part of you that feels he deserves to know, that he needs to know, and that this isn’t something you should have to carry by yourself. He’s the love of your life, the man you’re going to spend whatever days you have left on this earth with, and it feels wrong to keep a secret like this from him. If he found out later, he’d be even more devastated, and you don’t want to betray his trust like that—you don’t want to keep anything from him, like how you hope he doesn’t keep anything from you. You’re partners, you’ve always shared everything, and this is no different.
The resolve hits you that you’re going to tell him the truth, the whole truth.
“We don’t have to talk about it…” he says when you’re silent for too long. “It’s late anyway.” The last word turns into a yawn.
“No, I’ll tell you,” you reply. Moving, you get on top of him, your thighs bracketing his naked hips, leaning over to turn on the lamp. His eyes squint from the light, looking uneasy, your body pressing into his to hover your face over his, holding yourself up on your elbows beside his head, stroking your fingers through his damp grey hair. His arms automatically wrap around your back to rub his hands along your shirt-covered spine.
“I’m not gonna like what you’re about to tell me, am I?” he asks with a frown.
“No, Joel,” you answer softly. “It’s gonna hurt like a bitch, so take a deep breath for me.”
The expression on his face turns serious, clenching his jaw, his hands stopping their movements.
His voice is low, “How’d you get the scar?”
“We’ll get to that in a second. First, I need you to understand that everything that happened to me is not your fault, okay?”
“Just fuckin’ tell me.”
“You tell me first that you understand what I just said.”
“Yes—not my fault,” he says impatiently. “Tell me.”
One of the things they teach you in medical school is how to give a person bad news. There are times when you have to tell someone they’re dying or have an incurable illness; a patient dies in surgery, and you’re having to inform the next of kin. It’s a step-by-step process, starting with finding out the person's understanding of the situation for a place to begin and build upon. Next is the warning shot, which you delivered by telling Joel that what you’re about to tell him is going to hurt. Then you present the news in plain words to avoid any misunderstandings. It’s common for there to be silence, so you wait for them to make the next move and validate any emotional responses. It’s a little fucked up that this is the process you’re going to use to tell him, but it’s the best way to ease him into it and not cause too much emotional distress all at once.
“Good,” you reply. “Remember in the truck when I told you I took measures to ensure I couldn’t have children?”
“Yes. The scar’s from that? Surgery?”
“Yes.”
“Okay… what aren’t you tellin’ me?”
Taking a deep breath, you answer, “The reason I had it done.”
His eyebrows crease together, eyes narrowing in confusion.
“But you said—”
That you had a fellow doctor help you out.
“Yes,” you cut him off, “except after the Outbreak, especially right at the beginning, doctors weren’t doing elective surgeries, and still aren’t with the lack of supplies. They only do sterilization at the time of childbirth or in conjunction with another abdominal surgery.”
“Please, for the love of God, say surgery,” he says desperately, and it makes your chest ache, hating that you’re putting him through this.
Cupping his cheeks, you give another warning shot, saying as gently as possible, “Joel, I’m sorry I have to tell you this, but I was pregnant.”
His eyes go wide. “When?” he breathes, but you can tell he already knows the answer.
“2003.”
He looks like he’s just been punched, his face pinching in pain, squeezing his eyes shut as he absorbs the blow and processes what you said.
There’s a roughness to his voice when he speaks again, hearing the hurt when he whispers, “The baby?”
“Didn’t survive the pregnancy.” Swallowing hard, your eyes are burning at remembering all that’d happened, knowing something was wrong, and discovering the worse when an ultrasound was done. “I, uh, lost her in December of that year. I was a little over five months along.”
The devastation is clear on his face when his gaze meets yours, seeing how hard he’s trying not to cry with the tears brimming his eyes and his bottom lip trembling.
His throat bobs, the word cracking when it leaves his mouth, “Her?”
“Yes.”
“Five months? Five? You were… you were…” He can’t even say the whole sentence. “Before? On my, my… On my birthday?” Tears start falling down his cheeks.
Your throat is so tight that it’s hard to speak, answering morosely, “Yes.” Wiping at the wetness on his face, continuing, “I found out a few days before.” The next part, you say so quietly, “I was going to surprise you—it was your gift.”
You can see his heart break, and it makes your own squeeze so tight it steals your breath. It was the right thing to tell him—he deserved to know, but it comes at such a great cost, feeling terrible that you’re causing him so much distress. A pained noise comes from him as he crushes you in a hug, pressing your face into his neck, his body shaking as he cries hard, giving in to your own sadness.
“I’m so sorry, Joel,” you sob.
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He’s in agony. It hurts. The pain is gut-wrenching, the sadness so deep inside of him he can feel it twisting him in knots, his heart shattering into a thousand pieces. It’s like someone is trying to skin him from the inside out. What he’s feeling is unbearable, and he is unsure if he will survive.
Getting stabbed felt better than this. He’d rather get stabbed because that’s something that heals and scars over, but this? It’s a gaping wound that’s going to stick with him just like Sarah’s death had.
There was nothing he’d wanted more than to have a baby with you all those years ago, and now knowing how close he got to his dream—that he lost two daughters without even knowing, he’s at an utter loss, the anguish consuming him, and overflowing into the tears he can’t hold back, letting it all out as he holds you close, needing your comfort.
His body is trembling uncontrollably, wracking with sobs. “We lost our baby,” he chokes out. “Our baby girl—I lost my babies.”
It feels like his chest is caving in, his heart getting crushed under the weight of his sadness, and he’s thankful you’re here with him—you’re keeping him grounded, your presence stopping him from simply checking out, and he’s allowing himself to feel the emotions, and grieve, something he couldn’t do with Sarah.
He can’t even imagine what you went through alone—losing the baby, him, and Sarah. At least he still had Tommy, but you had no one, having to deal with it all by yourself. Joel feels like shit that he wasn’t there for you in your time of need, wondering if he had been, would the baby have survived? Did another of his kids die because he failed to protect them again? Maybe he wasn’t meant to be a father—he’s not supposed to outlive his children, and he has with two of them, fucking delivering the third to people who wanted to take her from him, too, and barely saving her. He’s a failure as a father, unable to keep his kids safe, and now he’s very aware of how much stronger you are than him. After all the loss you went through alone, and you kept going? He’s weak in comparison, a coward; he barely survived—a failure of a father, partner, and human.
Your words are muffled, your tears hot on his skin, “I’m sorry,” you cry. “I did everything I could to give her the best chance, and it wasn’t enough.”
It’s not right that you’re blaming yourself, and he’s so angry at himself that he’s stopped crying, needing to make you understand it wasn’t your fault—if anyone’s to blame, it’s him.
He pulls you up to look you in the eyes, seeing your face is wet, his large palms caressing your cheeks. “I know you did all you could.” He speaks the words clearly, making sure you can hear the truth. “It’s not your fault, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I… I,” he stutters, “failed you both.”
Your eyebrows dip down, going serious. “I told you everything that happened to me isn’t your fault, Joel. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to the baby, or Sarah, for that matter. I’m the one who fucked up and got a flat tire. I’m the one who became a doctor for the army and had to deal with the stress of treating people caught in the blasts when they tried to stop the spread of infection by bombing Alberquerque, which didn’t even work. The city was lost, the army cut their losses and sent us to Phoenix, we just…” You pause, sounding ashamed when you say, “We abandoned the survivors—left people in the medical camp who’d die without treatment, and as a doctor, I was horrified, but as an expectant mother? I was one of the first people on the truck because the baby was all I cared about.” Taking a deep breath, you continue, “I figured having the protection of the military and access to medical supplies was the best option I had to safely bring her into the world, even at the cost of my morals—she was all I had left of you, and I was willing to do anything to protect her, and in the end, she didn’t make it, and none of it was your fault.”
“There’s a chance she would’ve survived if I was with you.” Pain cuts through him like a hot knife, the regret stinging. “They both might’ve survived if I’d been with you.”
It’s weighing on him how things could’ve been different, feeling like it was all his fault for not finding you sooner. After Sarah’s death, he doesn’t remember much about the days or weeks that followed—he’d completely disconnected from everything and wasn’t himself, simply an emotionless shell of a person that did whatever he needed to keep Tommy safe, looking for you in every QZ, settlement, or army camp they entered. That night everything went down, they should’ve checked the route you took, they should’ve tried harder to find you. His mind is whirling with all of the different choices he could’ve made.
Your hand cups his cheek. “Hey,” you say softly. “Don’t think about the what ifs. I know it’s hard, but all it will do is drive you crazy. What happened, happened, and you don’t need to torture yourself over it by thinking of how you could’ve changed things. So, stop blaming yourself. I don’t blame you. I’ve never blamed you. It gave me the strength to keep searching for you, thinking that you and Sarah were out there looking for me, too. We can’t go back in time, so we focus on the present and the fact that after everything we’ve been through, we still managed to find each other again.”
Hearing that your grief spurred you on to keep looking for him makes guilt roil in his stomach over how weak he’d been and that, by his own hand, he’d almost made your search pointless.
There’s no sugarcoating it, and you should know after all you’ve revealed to him, so he just says it, “I tried to kill myself.”
It makes you flinch, shock coming over your face. “What?” you whisper. “Joel, when? Why?”
Taking a deep breath, he lets it out slowly, his eyes darting away because he feels so much shame.
“Second day,” he answers. Swallowing thickly, he continues, the emotion making his voice rough, “Sarah died in my arms, and after all the shit I saw, I thought you were gone, too, and that was why you never made it to my house. I lost you both and couldn’t see the point anymore.” He takes a second to figure out his next words. “I’m, uh, not as strong as you are. The two people I love most were taken from me, and I didn’t want to keep living. Simple as that. Wasn’t even scared,” he admits. “I was ready—more than ready.” He pauses, his jaw flexing as the memory of holding the gun and feeling so calm comes back to him. “When I…” He has to swallow again, a lump forming in his throat, it just as hard telling you as it was with Ellie. “When I went to pull the trigger, I flinched.” His gaze meets yours, seeing the sadness in your eyes. “I, uh, told Ellie this story the other day, and I said I don’t know why I flinched, but some part of me likes to think it was Sarah tellin’ me to keep goin’ and not give up.” A sad smile turns up on his lips. “You know how she was always bossin’ me around.”
You sniffle, sharing the same look as him, both thinking fond memories about his daughter. “Because you’re a fucking disaster, Joel,” you reply. “You need someone bossing you around.”
He’s not going to deny the truth. “That I do, and I’m so fuckin’ happy I did keep goin’ ‘cause I found you, and there’s Ellie.”
The only kid he has left.
If he was protective of her before, he doesn’t know what he is now, a little afraid he might become one of those annoying helicopter parents. He can’t risk anything happening to her. He needs to keep her safe, ignoring the sudden urge to jump out of bed to go over to Tommy’s to check up on her.
After the resort town, and what she’d gone through, he’d been so worried about her change in demeanor—how quiet she became, closed off, distracted, aloof. She wouldn’t talk about it, but from the look in her eyes and the blood that’d been on her clothes when he found her, she’d had to kill a person or people, and Joel felt like he’d let her down by not being able to keep her safe.
He hated when she had to shoot the guy in Kansas City to save him, and he hated even more that she had to kill when he wasn’t there to do it for her—she’s still just a kid, his kid, and he knew it’d be traumatic for her, even if she tried to put on a brave face, and sure enough, it’d fucked her up, Joel worried sick that he’d lost his upbeat, chatterbox, bad pun telling Ellie forever.
He’d done everything he could think of to cheer her up and get her out of her head as she’d always done to him, pretty sure he said more words to her on their trip to Salt Lake City than he’d said in the past twenty years combined.
Then she met you, and he knows it was you who brought her back to him—you’d literally taken him to her, helped save her life, and given her hope that everything she’d been through, the good and bad, all meant something, freeing her conscious of the guilt she’s held over those who’d died for her.
And since Joel and Ellie are cut from the same cloth and terrible with emotional shit, now that she’s better, they’re pretending like it hadn’t happened.
Thank Christ you were there to call him out on his lie about the Fireflies finding someone else and telling her the truth—she never would’ve forgiven him.
“I’m happy you kept going, too,” you say, “so you could be there for her. Ellie needs a parent, someone to love her unconditionally, and I know you love her like she’s your own kid.”
“I do.”
“Have you told her?”
He looks away. “...no. We’re, uh, not very good at that kinda thing.”
“I figured as much. You’ll have to tell her one day. I think it’d make her happy.”
“Maybe…” He looks at you again, frowning. “That little girl has been alone her whole life. No parents—abandoned with FEDRA when she was born. I reckon she’s never been loved or cared about, and she isn’t quite sure what to do now that she’s got a… a…”
What is he to her?
“Dad,” you finish for him. “You’re her father, and she’s your daughter. You’re still a dad, Joel. You’ve got another teenager to raise or at least guide. She’s no longer alone and now has people to love and care about her, all thanks to you.” You poke his nose.
“She’d hate me sayin’ I’m her dad…”
“Because it’s so foreign to her. She doesn’t know what it’s like to have one, and I think she’ll warm up to the idea after some time.”
He couldn’t help feeling hopeful. “It’d be nice,” he replies. “Easier way to explain our relationship, and I do know she loves me.”
She’d never had to say it. Her actions and how she said she’d follow him anywhere were enough for him to know. That’s how their relationship has always been—doing their damnedest to talk around their feelings because they’re both just so fucking awkward. He told Ellie it wasn’t time that healed him, and she’d understood what he meant: I love you, and you’re the reason I’m better. When she responded that she was glad the attempt on his life didn’t work out, he heard: I love you, too.
They get each other.
“Good,” you say. “I know she loves you, too.”
It’s an understatement to say life has been unkind to him. Frankly, it feels like all he’s gone through was some kind of sadistic test of his resolve to live, it getting harder and harder with every passing year.
Joel thinks he’s finally catching a break or at least hopes.
He’s got you, Ellie, and Tommy all together someplace safe.
It still hurts like hell everything he lost to get here, unable to stop himself from imagining what it’d be like if his other two daughters had survived—all of you settling in Jackson, him and you taking care of Ellie, Sarah in her thirties with her own home and a family, and then there’s the girl who would’ve recently turned twenty that looks like a mix of you both; he pictures a face with your gorgeous eyes, his mouth, your chin, and he’d feel awful that she got his nose, but she’s beautiful just like her mom.
What would she have been like? Would she have looked how he’s imagining? The thoughts have his chest squeezing so tight, feeling like he’s lost another piece of his heart after he just put it back together again.
His eyes are watery, his voice wobbly when he asks, “Did she have a name?”
Your face goes soft, sadness gleaming in your eyes, your fingers sliding through the hair above his ear. “Yes,” you answer.
“I’d like to know it,” he says softly.
“When I first found out, she was Jellybean.” There’s a fond expression on your face. “Then, after everything, I started calling her Hope? Didn’t even know if she was a girl, but to steal from Star Wars, she was my only hope and kept me going, so that’s what I referred to her as. If she’d ended up being a boy, I would’ve named her Joel.” That makes his breath catch in his throat. “Then I found out the gender, and Hope just stuck.”
“Hope was perfect.”
“Hope Miller.”
Tears are rolling down his cheeks. “Hope Miller,” he says, the name ending on a sob, Joel crying once more.
He hugs you close to him, breathing in your hair while he breaks down, your body shaking as you let go, too, needing each other at this moment, mourning together, sharing in the sadness.
It could’ve been minutes or hours later that there were no more tears to shed, both of you overly exhausted, feeling like your bodies had been wrung out of everything inside of them.
You lean over him to turn off the lamp on the bedside table, and with a hand on the back of your head, he brings you down for a tender kiss.
“Thank you for tellin’ me,” he murmurs into your lips.
“Thank you for telling me,” you reply.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, no matter what.”
“No matter what,” he agrees.
It’s comforting when you end up half on top of him, your leg thrown over his waist, your head on his chest, your arm across his belly. He holds you, everything that happened tonight, making him fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.
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He turned onto his left side as he slept, and It’s the bed jostling, you sitting up quickly beside him, that has him waking abruptly, adrenaline pumping in his veins over not hearing the intruder enter the room. You’re in danger, his heart pounding, breathing hard, and he’s out of the bed immediately, needing to neutralize the threat, not seeing any weapons, his hand grabbing the unarmed man by the throat.
He’s being shouted at by you, it finally registering in his brain, “Joel, it’s Tommy!”
His brother’s eyes are wide, his hands clawing at Joel’s arm, using what little air he has to repeat, “It’s me, it’s me…”
It breaks him from the spell, letting go of the other man, who starts coughing.
“Jesus Christ, Tommy,” Joel growls. “I coulda fuckin’ killed you!”
“I’m sorry,” he wheezes. “I knocked, and nobody answered.”
��So, you broke in while we were sleepin’? You got a fuckin’ death wish?”
Tommy catches his breath. “I wasn’t thinkin’.” He looks sheepish. “Doc’s here, and I thought it’d be funny, like back in the day when I’d barge into your room when she was at the house.”
Joel’s hand is on his naked hip, the other pressing to his face.
One of Tommy’s favorite past times, back in Austin, was showing up at his house on Saturday mornings when he knew you’d be staying over and annoying the fuck out of you both until you got out of bed to go have breakfast at the diner with Sarah—after the first time, you started sleeping in a shirt much to Joel’s chagrin.
“You’re fuckin’ stupid, Tommy,” Joel sighs. “You can’t be doin’ that anymore. There’s a real chance I’d end up murderin’ ya, and I don’t need Maria hatin’ me more than she already does.”
“Maria doesn’t hate you.”
He moves his hand from his face to narrow his eyes at his brother. “Maria hates my fuckin’ guts,” he replies.
“Wait,” you say, Joel stepping to turn his body toward you, confusion on your face. “Why does Tommy’s wife hate you?”
There’s a thrill running through him because he knows that as soon as you find out, you’re gonna rip into his brother. He looks at the younger man, nodding his head toward you, “Tell her why Maria hates me.”
Tommy looks uneasy. “Well, like I said, she doesn’t hate you. She’s just gotta warm up to you, is all,” his brother says.
“Uh-huh.” Joel doesn’t sound convinced. “Stop beatin’ around the bush, and tell her.”
“I told her the truth of all we did in order to survive,” Tommy says quickly. “How we fuckin’ murdered innocent people and all that fucked up shit. I didn’t leave out anythin’ ‘cause she’s my wife, and I tell her everythin’.”
“Tommy,” your voice has gone low and serious, and Joel can’t help his smirk. “Did you blame everything you did on Joel and make him sound like a fucking monster?”
Tommy looks mad. “You don’t know what we did—all the people we killed. We could’ve done things differently. It was Joel’s fault.”
“For keeping you alive, Tommy?” she asks, Joel glancing her way to see her looking just as angry. “His daughter died in his arms. His daughter. He lost me that night, too, thinking I was dead, and you’re fucking blaming him for doing fucked up shit to keep the only person he had left alive? Are you fucking kidding me, Tommy? If anyone has survived to today, they’ve had to do horrible shit to get here—I’ve done horrible shit that I’m not proud of, but I’m still breathing, and that’s all that fucking matters.”
“There were other ways we could’ve survived,” Tommy says. “Maria—”
“Maria,” you interrupt, “wasn’t in the same situation as you and Joel. You make her sound like a goddamn saint, but I have no doubts she’s had to do fucked up shit, too. Get off your fucking high horse, Thomas. You were the last person Joel had, and after the shit that happened to him, you’re gonna bet your ass that he would do anything, no matter how shitty, to keep you alive. Frankly, you should be thanking him that you survived long enough to make it here.”
The other man breathes in deeply before replying, “Look, it’s in the past, and I get it now that he was just desperate to keep me livin’. I still feel pretty fuckin’ guilty about the shit that went down, but I understand why he did it. I’ll, uh, talk to Maria.”
“Yeah,” you say. “You better.”
“I will.” He nods.
“Did ya come over just to annoy us?” Joel asks his brother.
“No,” Tommy replies. “Brought y’all breakfast, like I said I would. It’s in the kitchen, and I’m also here to find out what the fuck happened ‘cause Ellie is a goddamn liar.”
Joel’s stomach twists. “What’d she say?”
“I know I said I tell everythin’ to Maria, but I kept my word to you and didn’t mention Ellie’s… condition. She thought you were takin’ the girl to find her family.”
“Thank you.”
“Ellie said y’all found the campus in Colorado abandoned and that you ended up in Utah at a hospital the Fireflies were usin’, and that’s where you found Doc. She said the place got hit by raiders, and you had to fight your way out.”
“I did find Doc at the hospital in Salt Lake City, and Colorado was abandoned,” he says. Scratching at the back of his neck, he looks away. “We got to Utah, found the Fireflies, but they’d wanted to kill Ellie in order to try and make a cure…”
“What the fuck did you do, Joel?” his brother asks through his teeth.
“Joel and I killed them all,” you answer for him, Tommy’s attention moving to you. “I was a doctor there and have been researching a cure for the last five years. Ellie was our key, but Marlene and the head of the facility wanted to murder her instead of doing a procedure that she would’ve survived. It was fucked up, so I helped Joel save the girl, and we took out the Fireflies in the process.” You shrug.
“You saved her instead of everyone else on the entire fuckin’ planet?” Tommy sounds like he can’t believe what he’s saying.
“I couldn’t let her die,” Joel replies, his eyes meeting his brother’s. “Not after Sarah—she’s my kid, Tommy.”
His brother sighs. “Yeah,” he replies. “I get why you’d do it. It’s just fucked that there coulda been a cure, and now what the fuck are we gonna do?”
“Well,” you start. “If I can get my hands on the right equipment, I can do the biopsy and work on developing it myself, but I’d basically need a lab.”
“You could do it?” Surprise is in Tommy’s tone.
“Yeah? The assumption is that Ellie has had Cordyceps growing inside her since she was born—my theory is that her mom was bit while pregnant and somehow gave birth before turning.” That has Joel’s stomach falling through the floor at the thought of Ellie’s mother making sure her baby survived even after being handed a death sentence, not knowing if the child was infected, too. He understands, though, if he’d been in her shoes, he would’ve done the same thing to ensure his kid was safe—hell, he murdered an entire hospital, risking the lives of millions for Ellie, and he thinks her mother would’ve approved. “Anyways,” you continue, “what we think happens is when Ellie gets bit, the normal Cordyceps think she’s Cordyceps or that she’s already turned, making her immune. If I biopsy some of her mutated Cordyceps, I can multiply the cells to make a vaccine to give people that will cause the same immunity, or at least that’s what I’m hoping. There’s no guarantee it will work.”
“Fuckin’ A, Doc!” Tommy’s grinning. “I always said you were too fuckin’ smart to be with this fucker.” He points his thumb at Joel. “We got a clinic, nothin’ fancy, but I’m thinkin’ I could probably convince Maria that we need more medical shit. The town’s gettin’ bigger, anyway. It’d make sense. We can send raiding parties to nearby towns and cities to gather whatever they can find—you give me a list, and I’ll see what I can do.”
“I can do that,” you reply. “Does Jackson have a doctor?”
“Yeah, Dr. Jones is an old, ornery motherfucker. We could use some new blood if you’re up for it.”
You smile. “I’d love to.”
“Great! The other reason I’m here—” he focuses back on Joel “—is findin’ out when you wanted to get hitched.”
Joel looks at you. “You got a preference, baby?”
“The sooner, the better?” You shrug.
He smiles, thinking the same thing as he nods his head, facing Tommy again. “You heard the lady. The sooner, the better.”
His brother’s smiling big, looking delighted. “In that case, be at the House of Worship in two hours.” He holds up two fingers.
“Will do. How’d Ellie sleep?” Joel asks. “You fed her, right? Let her take a shower?”
The younger man’s eyebrows are up to his hairline. “Jesus, you really care about this kid.”
“Congratulations, Tommy,” you say with a smile. “You’re an uncle again.”
“I guess I am—missed it.” He’s smiling softly. “She had no complaints when she woke this mornin’, and, of course, I fuckin’ fed her. Couldn’t believe how much food she scarfed down. I should be askin’ if you’ve been feedin’ her,” Tommy tells Joel as he pokes him in his bare chest. “She showered first thing at the house, and Maria got her more clothes.”
“Thank you for takin’ care of her. You didn’t have to,” Joel replies.
Tommy smirks, saying, “Based on all those fuckin’ hickies coverin’ your naked ass—” He points at Joel’s torso “—it’s safe to say it was better she stayed at mine last night.”
Joel’s cheeks heat, having not realized that he is, in fact, completely nude. Walking over to the bed, he groans as he sits down on the edge, pulling a blanket over his thighs to cover himself up, his back twinging in pain.
He sighs. “Yeah, yeah,” Joel says. “Thanks again for watchin’ her. Can you make sure she’s at the weddin’? You, too.”
“We’d really like you both there,” you add. “It’s important to us.”
“What about Maria?” Tommy asks, looking unsure.
“Like you said last time I was here,” Joel starts. “She’s family and allowin’ us to stay here, so she can come.”
You speak behind him, “But, if she isn’t civil and ruins my wedding, I get to kick her ass.”
Joel snorts, and Tommy puts his hands up in a placating gesture. “Woah, Doc,” his brother says. “Maria isn’t gonna start shit—she’s seven months pregnant, for Christ’s sake, she’s got enough on her plate.”
The blood leaves Joel’s face, feeling like he’s been kicked in the gut with all the air leaving his lungs.
He’d forgotten about his brother having a baby, or maybe he’d pushed the thought away because he didn’t like to think about it. It wasn’t his proudest moment how he acted when Tommy first told him the news. He’d been jealous and resented his brother for living his dream of being married with a kid on the way. Tommy was getting to live this happy, idyllic life, and Joel, at the time, was struggling with his fears of failing Ellie and getting her killed. It’d been too much to hear his brother had a kid on the way, making Joel dwell on the fact that Tommy had been right, his life had stopped all those years ago, and he couldn’t stand how his brother and everyone else in this town were living like the world hadn’t ended.
It didn’t feel fair to him, not with all he’d been through.
Of course, he wants to be happy for Tommy. He really does. He wants to be able to share in his joy, but it hurts so fucking bad being reminded of how close he’d gotten to having what his brother has now.
He lets air fill his lungs and slowly lets it out.
At least he’s got you back. And Ellie.
He’d started living again the moment Ellie had forgiven him, shoving her bag into his arms the last time they were in Jackson and telling him, ‘Let’s go.’ They went, and the journey wasn’t easy, both coming far too close to death to be comfortable. He found you, or you found him as it were, and now he’s getting his chance to live a happy, idyllic life married to you, and together, you’ll care for Ellie.
That sounds pretty fucking perfect to him.
A wife and a kid. Wouldn't have even crossed his mind a year ago—a fever dream.
“Someone married you,” you say in disbelief, taking Joel from his thoughts, “and is having your baby? I know the apocalypse happened, but did hell freeze over, too?”
“I forgot how fuckin’ mean you are, Doc,” Tommy chuckles.
“You’re tellin’ me,” Joel whispers, receiving a playful swat to his shoulder from you.
“I’m not mean,” you grumble.
He has to hold in his groan as he twists his body to pat your thigh. “No, you’re not,” he tells you. “You’re perfect.”
“Stop lyin’ to her,” Tommy says. “And I’ll have you know that I’ve matured, Doc, now that I’m older.”
Joel turns back, squinting his eyes at the other man. “You almost got yourself killed by bein’ dumb…” Joel replies.
“It was for old time’s sake.”
“Well, congrats, Tommy,” you tell him. “You were always so good with Sarah. I know you’ll be a great dad.”
Tommy smiles. “Thanks, Doc. I’m nervous but excited. Put together the nursery myself.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“Well, I’ll get out of your hair and see y’all in a bit. Joel?”
Their eyes meet. “Yeah?”
“For all that’s holy, put on some fuckin’ clothes. We don’t need you bein’ our first prisoner in the town jail for public indecency.”
Joel glares at his brother. “You’re right,” Joel replies. “It’s time for you to get the fuck out. We’ll see you at the church.
Tommy laughs as he leaves, hearing his footsteps thudding down the stairs and the slam of the front door.
He presses his hands to his face, “Fuckin’ asshole,” he mumbles into them.
There’s movement as you crawl up behind him, wrapping your arms around his front and resting your chin on his shoulder.
“You okay, babe?”
His arms go over yours to keep you in place, turning his head to look at you. “Yeah,” he answers. “I’m fine. Had a rude awakenin’, is all.”
“Do you wanna talk about becoming an uncle?”
He lets out a long sigh. “There’s nothin’ to talk about—I’m happy for Tommy.”
“Joel, you don’t have to lie to me. It would be reasonable if you were feeling hurt that your brother is living such a great life and having a baby. I’m…” you pause, chewing on your lip. Your voice is small when you keep speaking, “I’m sorry I can’t give you children, and I’d understand if you wanted to find someone else you could have a family with.”
Hissing in pain, he’s standing quickly and turning around to face you, getting back onto the bed on his knees, not understanding why you’d even say such a thing—not after everything you’ve both been through to find each other again.
Is this you getting cold feet? Do you not want to marry him? Did he rush things?
His hands cup your face, making sure you’re looking him in the eyes.
“What?” he asks. “Are you second guessin’ marryin’ me? Was it ‘cause of how I woke up?”
He’s scared.
“What?” You look confused, your hands rubbing up his bare chest. “I want to marry you. Your reaction this morning was warranted.” Letting out a slow sigh, you continue, “Just, I know how much you’d wanted kids, how we wanted kids, and I wouldn’t blame you, now that you’re in a place like this, if you wanted to settle down and start a family.”
His face pinches in confusion, saying slowly, “Baby, we have a family… You, me, Ellie, we’re a family, and you’re all I need. You’re the only woman I want to be with.” He swallows hard. “I can’t stomach bringin’ any more children into this world—I’ve lost too many.” He inhales deeply, letting it out slowly. “I… uh, struggle with my need to keep Ellie safe. It’s always on my mind, and it scares me that I’ll end up gettin’ her killed like… like…”
“Sarah?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “Like Sarah. I know Ellie isn’t her. I’m very aware. They’re so… different.”
You smile softly. “But they would’ve loved each other.”
He smiles, “Yeah. I reckon they would. Sarah would’ve found Ellie funny.”
“Oh, yeah.” You grin. “Would’ve loved Ellie’s terrible puns.”
He’s fondly thinking about it as he says, “She had a book full of ‘em. They were fuckin’ awful—if you think my jokes are bad, these were worse.”
Laughing, you reply, “I love your dad jokes. They would’ve enjoyed music together, too.”
“That they would. Both would’ve given me shit if I played guitar for them.”
“Affectionately, because they can’t reveal how much they actually love it to avoid seeming uncool. I miss your singing. Remember the first time you played for me?”
“Sarah’s thirteenth birthday party.” He nods. “We were hidin’ away in my bedroom while the livin’ room was overrun with teen girls, and I was tryin’ my damndest to woo you by playin’ some Ben E. King.”
“Oh, you wooed me.” You smirk. “Stand by Me was always my favorite.”
“I know.” He smiles. “I’ll have to see about findin’ a guitar.” He’s gotta play for Ellie and you. “What we were discussion’,” he says. “Ellie’s different, and I know it. She can shoot a gun and protect herself—has protected herself when I wasn’t there.” He frowns. ”I worry about her constantly. Somethin’ inside me needs to know she’s okay. If I’m like this with a girl capable of killin’, how would I be with a baby? It honest to god frightens me, and I’m sure I’d end up worryin’ myself to death.”
Your arms loop around his neck, a tender expression on your face. “As a doctor, I can tell you it makes sense that you’re overprotective of your living child. Hopefully, being here in Jackson and not constantly on guard will ease some of the worries. Just know I’m here if you ever wanna talk.”
“Thank you, baby,” he replies, leaning in to kiss you. When he pulls back, he looks you in the eyes. “I’m happy with all we have,” he says truthfully, “and there’s nothin’ for you to be sorry about—Ellie is more than plenty.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” There’s something he can tell you to ease your mind, and it makes him smile crookedly. “As a matter of fact, me bein’ able to fuck you full of my come with no risk of knockin’ you up really riles me up—gets me harder than a fuckin’ rock. I’m happy as a fuckin’ clam, baby.”
Your eyes go a little wide. “Oh my god,” you breathe. “You’ve got whatever the opposite of a breeding kink is.” You looked away, eyebrows creasing as you thought aloud, “Would it just be a creampie kink? No, ‘cause it turns you on that, there’s no risk of pregnancy. Wait, a birth control kink. You’ve got a birth control kink.” Your gazes meet, a grin on your face looking beyond delighted, as you playfully slap his chest. “I thought I knew all your kinks and fetishes, and look at you keeping me on my toes.” Leaning forward, you kiss him, Joel moaning when you shove your tongue into his mouth to tangle with his own, his hands holding your face, meeting your energy until you both need to breathe and separate. “I feel better knowing you’re happy with what we have because I’m happy, too,” you pant.
“Good,” he replies, smiling. Joel kisses you quickly. “We better get ready,” he says when he pulls back, a grin on his lips. “We got a date with an officiant.”
You’re smiling just as brightly, and it has butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He almost can’t believe this is happening, that you’re here, and in—he looks over at the clock on the bedside table—an hour and a half, you’ll be his wife, something you should’ve been twenty years ago. He’s missed too much time with you and won’t waste any more.
“It’s about damn time,” you reply.
“Don’t I know it.”
It’s obvious you’re both excited with how quickly you’re getting off the bed. Turns are taken in the bathroom, then it’s going through the bag of clothes Tommy had brought over. Neither of you expected to look like a traditional bride and groom; wedding dress stores no longer existed, and there definitely weren’t places to buy a suit. He asked your opinion on what he should wear, settling on a black and charcoal-colored plaid shirt with some dark wash jeans that were a tad tighter than he was used to. You did the same, showing him potential outfits and trying things on before you went with a cream-colored cable knit sweater over a white tank top and some light blue jeans that hugged your hips perfectly, but were too long in the legs, having to bunch them over the top of your boots.
Once dressed, you’d made your way down to the kitchen to eat the breakfast Tommy had left. Sitting at the kitchen table, you’re across from each other, barely coming up for air as the two of you eat your plates of eggs and bacon, the best fucking thing Joel has eaten since the last time he was in Jackson. You’re setting your water down after taking a gulp, a thoughtful expression on your face.
“You know what would’ve made today perfect?” you ask him.
“Hmm?” Joel hums around a bite, his eyes on yours.
“If Sarah were here.”
The sadness hits him like a truck, taking him off balance with how it slams into him.
He swallows his food, setting down his fork, frowning as he looks at you. “I wish she were here, too,” he says sadly.
A small smile appears on your lips. “I’d been so nervous the first time I met her because I didn’t want her to hate me.”
“There’s no way in hell she would’ve hated you.”
“Kids are really protective of their parents, and you’re the only one she had since birth,” you point out. “Then, for the first time in her life, you started dating. The cards were stacked against me—there were a ton of reasons for her to hate me.”
“She, uh—” he scratched at the back of his neck “—was always tellin’ me I needed to find someone, and then I met you and told her about meetin’ you. When our first date went so well, she was beggin’ me to meet you. I’d tell her about you, and she approved. You had nothin’ to worry about.”
“That makes me happy. You know, almost a year in, she said she hoped you’d marry me.”
He smiles. “Oh, she was tryin’ real hard to get me to pop the question—kept suggestin’ romantic places, she even said I should take you to Paris,” he chuckles, “and I’d have to remind her that I was waitin’ for the first year of your residency to end so you wouldn’t be stressed about a weddin’. Then there was the hiccup with you gettin’ fired—”
“Forcibly relocated,” you interrupt.
“Right.” He smiles. “There was the hiccup of you bein’ forcibly relocated and out of work for those few months, just didn’t seem right at the time, which was dumb, I know. So, by the time you’d started makin’ up your time at the clinic, I was done waitin’. I asked Sarah’s permission a week before my birthday, and she’d wanted to help me pick out a ring.” He frowns. “I’d been busy with that job, and well...” He sighs, rubbing a hand through his hair, leaving it unsaid because you two were very aware of what happened. “What I’m tryin’ to say is—” your eyes were on his “—Sarah loved you from the very beginnin’, and she would be so fuckin’ happy that we’re finally gettin’ married.”
You sniffle, your eyes shining with unshed tears. “I miss her so fucking much, Joel.”
His throat was closing up, having to clear it before he could speak. “I miss her, too, baby—every fuckin’ day.” He has to wipe at his eyes, something coming to him suddenly. “Last time I was here in Jackson, Tommy tried givin’ me a picture of her and me—one of the Polaroids that’d been on the fridge.” Sarah had been obsessed with the Polaroid camera you got her for her thirteenth birthday, the refrigerator littered with pictures of her with Joel, you, and Tommy, some a combination of the four of you. “I didn’t take it, couldn’t, not when I was thinkin’ if Ellie stayed with me, she’d end up like her. I didn’t want the reminder.”
There’s sadness on your face. “Oh, babe,” you say, “we’ll have to get it from him. Maybe put together a little memorial for her somewhere in the house.”
“I’d like that.” He nodded. “We could do somthin’ for Hope, too.”
“I’d like that,” you reply softly.
He nods. “We better finish eatin’” He points at your plate. “They’ll be expectin’ us.”
You smile. “Yes, they will.”
It’s a beautiful spring day, the sun shining high above in the clear sky.
It caught him off guard when you took his hand as you exited the house. Normally he wouldn’t want to be without his dominant hand in case he needed to use a weapon, but then your fingers intertwined with his, reminding him of times spent walking around the mall or the park, and the little smile on his face said that he didn’t mind, he actually quite liked it. Hand in hand, the stroll to the House of Worship has you taking in more of the town. It throws him a bit how people smile as they pass or offer quick greetings, it feeling foreign when Joel tries to politely smile back.
“I can’t believe it’s an actual functioning town,” you marvel beside him. “Electricity, water, sewer. I wonder how they found people to get things working again. They’d need engineers, electricians, and plumbers, too. Add in the fact they’re producing enough food to feed hundreds of people, and that’d require people with ample husbandry knowledge. They really got lucky.”
“Probably found people with backgrounds,” he replies. “I did construction, but I know my way around some electrical and plumbin’. Don’t know if I could get a dam workin’—if I had a manual, I’m sure I could figure it out.” He shrugs.
You glance at him. “It’s true you can learn a lot just from reading—don’t need fancy degrees anymore.”
“I reckon you’re a much better doctor than anyone who learned after the outbreak. Your fancy degree still means somthin’.”
“I guess.”
“I know it does, baby,” he says, leaning over to kiss the top of your head.
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The House of Worship is an old church along the main street, the wooden siding of the building painted a deep red, with the entrance coated in white. It’s traditional looking, with the tall steeple containing a bell and its gabled roof that made the front look like an ‘A.’ The inside had the vaulted ceilings that you’d expect and rows of pews that led to the front where a plain podium stood, no holy symbols anywhere since it was multifaith. The place was empty, the tall windows along the walls letting in light from outside and illuminating everything.
“Five bucks says Tommy’s late,” your voice echoes in the large room, turning your head to look at Joel, his hand still engulfing your own.
“That’s easy money, baby.” He meets your eyes, looking amused.
“Wanna walk me down the aisle?” you ask.
Letting go of your hand, he straightens his back, it aching a little as he offers you his arm with a grin, answering, “Gladly.”
You hook your arm through his. “Ready?” you ask.
“Born ready,” he responds.
It doesn’t feel right that there’s no music, imagining that if this was before the outbreak, you probably would’ve walked down the aisle to the “Bridal Chorus.” Now, though, you’re thinking it needs to be something different, wracking your brain for the perfect song when it hits you, your lips turning up when you both face forward.
As you slowly start walking, you start humming loud enough for Joel to hear. He’s silent for a second, and you know with how much he loves music, he’ll recognize it.
“Etta James?” he asks, glancing at you with a curious expression.
“It felt fitting,” you reply, not feeling any embarrassment when you do your best impression of the singer, singing the opening line of “At Last.”
He huffs out an amused breath.
There’s a reason you studied sciences instead of the arts, and it’s because you’re not very talented in any of them; your singing voice is pretty lousy. Warmth spreads through your body when Joel jumps in on the second verse, sounding a bit rusty as he softly sings with you, making your way down the aisle.
The song isn’t finished when you get to the front of the church, both of you stopping on the same line. There’s a pause where you’re standing in silence, a circular window high above behind the podium showing the blue sky.
There are nerves swirling in your belly, even though you know you have nothing to worry about. Marrying Joel felt so right and was always what you’d wanted, now getting to make your dream come true. You’ve been alone for so long and lost so much in the past that you’re nervous about having people in your life to love and care about again, knowing they could be taken from you in the blink of an eye. You’re not sure how you’d survive if you lost Joel again; hell, it’d fuck you up if something happened to Ellie or even Tommy. These are your people, they’re all you have left, and you can’t worry about the morbid possibilities. You just need to focus on the right now and enjoy what you have, living every day to the fullest.
There’s something else you know without a doubt that Joel is feeling, too, and it’s the sadness weighing on your chest that Sarah is missing today.
Joel clears his throat beside you, his voice rough with emotion when he says, “You know, she’s here with us.”
“I know,” you reply truthfully.
Unhooking his arm from yours, he undoes the button on his left cuff, carefully rolling up the sleeve to his forearm, doing the same with his right. He turns to face you, and you do the same to look him in the eyes, seeing that sadness in the dark depths.
Gently, he grabs your left hand, bringing it up to softly kiss each knuckle, lowering it after a moment, his thumb rubbing over what he kissed. “It’s silly,” he says, looking a little sheepish. “She, uh, fixed this watch and gave it to me as a gift?” He holds up his left arm to show you his favorite watch that had broken, the glass now splintered. “It broke again when she died. The time it stopped on, well…” Your heart squeezes, feeling your eyes burn. “It’s,” the word cracks. He takes a deep breath, trying again, “It’s all I’ve had left of her. I keep it to keep her with me. She’s here.”
You cradle his cheek with your right hand, replying, “She is.” You nod. “She’ll always be with us, Joel.”
The door at the back of the church opens, both of you tensing, and looking toward it, the emotions dispersing as you go on high alert.
“It’s so much bigger than it looks outside,” Ellie’s voice echoes while walking quickly down the center aisle, looking around at everything, a visibly pregnant woman waddling slowly behind her. Ellie’s nose crinkles. “Smells fucking weird.”
“It’s an old buildin’,” the woman replies. “Old buildin’s smell.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Ellie’s finally made it to you, her attention on Joel as you both turn toward her. “Well, you’re not in a wheelchair, so your hips—”
“Are fuckin’ fine,” he grumbles.
The amusement is clear on the young girl’s face.
“Thank god for that,” she says. “Imagine traveling across the fucking country and almost dying multiple times, only to get to your destination where you cripple yourself from not being able to keep it in your pants. That’d be so fucking embarrassing,” she laughs.
“Well, that didn’t happen, so there’s nothin’ for me to be embarrassed about,” he retorts.
“Oh, there’s plenty for your old ass to be embarrassed about, Joel,” she replies. “You couldn’t even make it to the top floor of that building in KC. There was that time you couldn’t find the shit you stashed or, oh my god, how fucking smelly you get—which good on you, cleaning up for Doc.”
He lets out a long sigh, his hands on his hips. “You done?” he asks.
“I’m sure I’ll think of other shit, but for now? Yeah.” She nods.
“Thank you for bein’ here,” he tells her.
“Like I’d fucking miss you assholes getting your happily ever after, or whatever. Plus, I’ve never been to a wedding. Read about them, though. Wanna see what the fuss is all about, you know?”
“This should be pretty straightforward,” you respond, Joel and Ellie looking at you. “Just someone leading the ceremony and us saying vows to each other. Back in ye olden times, some people had crazy long ceremonies with a lot of speeches, but that’s not really us. We’re doing this more traditionally.”
“Yeah,” Joel agrees. “We’re not needin’ no sermons or someone waxin’ poetic about the sanctity of marriage.”
“Weddings sound exhausting,” Ellie replies.
“Oh, they could be,” you say. “Super boring, too.”
The woman spoke up, standing beside Ellie, “Tommy and I just did a small ceremony, like what y’all are doin’ with some close friends, and we exchanged our rings.”
“You must be Maria,” you say, sticking out your hand and introducing yourself, wanting to be cordial. “Most people call me Doc, and it’s kinda stuck.” You shrug as she shakes your hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she replies, letting go of your hand.
“Are you guys gonna get rings?” Ellie asks, pointing between you and Joel.
“Rings are hard to find…” you answer.
“Not when you live here,” Maria responds, smiling. “We’ve got a smith in town who can make you some—she does it for all newlyweds as a gift.”
Your eyes widen.
“Oh, I’d love a ring,” you say. Looking at Joel, you ask, “Joel?”
“Yeah,” he replies. “I’d like one, too. Thank you, ma’am.”
“You can call me Maria, Joel, and there’s no need to thank me,” she says. “It’s Valerie who makes ‘em, and I’ll let her know you’ll be stoppin’ by to get sized.”
“Well, thank you for doin’ that,” he responds.
“You’re welcome, Joel.” She nods.
You can tell Maria doesn’t particularly love Joel, but there’s nothing about how she’s looking at him, speaking to him, or her body language that says she hates him. If anything, it’s more indifference, her coming to terms with him being her brother-in-law and now a part of her life, so she has to make some kind of effort for things not to be awkward. Joel’s doing the same thing. It's almost like they’ve silently agreed that this is how things will be—civil and nothing more.
“Thank you for giving us a place to stay, Maria,” you tell her. “The house is lovely, and Jackson is so wonderful.”
“Y’all are more than welcome to stay as long as you’d like,” she says. “Joel’s family, and you’re about to be family, too. I know Tommy’s excited to have all of you here.”
“Speakin’ of my brother,” Joel cuts in. “Where is he…? And whoever's officiating, for that matter.”
As if on cue, the door to the church opens, and Tommy comes striding in. He’s in jeans, a light blue button-up tucked into them, with the ugliest brown and mustard yellow striped tie around his neck, and a navy blue suit jacket about a size too big for him—he even slicked back his hair. “Sorry, I’m late,” he announces. “Had the worst fuckin’ time findin’ a goddamn tie.”
“Going without one would look better than whatever that abomination is,” you reply, pointing.
He frowns. “This is a tie-wearin’ occasion, so I’m wearin’ one.”
“You didn’t wear a tie when we got married…” Maria says slowly.
“‘Cause I love ya and wouldn’t want you havin’ to look at this eyesore.” He replies, holding up the tie.
“So, you don’t love us?” you ask him. “What are we, chopped liver?”
“Liver and onions ain’t too bad,” he answers. “And, of course, I fuckin’ love y’all, too.”
He makes it to your group, going over to Maria, his hand on her swollen stomach as he kisses her sweetly. “Hey, honey.” He smiles at her, and she grins back. He looks toward you and Joel. “I’ll take it introductions were made? Doc, you met my wife—” He’s rubbing her belly. “—and mother of my kid?”
“Yep,” you answer. “We met.”
“Good. Well, everybody’s here, so we can start.”
“What are you talkin’ about?” Joel asks. “Where’s the minister or whoever the fuck you got to do the ceremony?” His arms cross over his chest.
A shit-eating grin appears on Tommy’s face, the one that means he’s up to no good and is about to say something that is going to aggravate Joel. “You’re lookin’ at him.”
Joel’s eyes squint. “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” he grits out. “You’re not marryin’ us—the towns gotta have someone ordained or somethin’.”
“It just so happens Jackson does: Me.”
“This ain’t funny, Tommy.”
“Remember when you told me you were gonna marry her?” Tommy nods his head toward you.
“Yeah..?”
“Well, I went ahead and got myself ordained to do your weddin’—ain’t no skin off my back. I did it on the computer.” He looks proud of himself.
“What?” Joel sounds like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Why on God’s green earth would you think we’d have you do our weddin’? We probably would’ve had the minister at the church ma, and pop went to do it.”
“That man was older than sin and long dead now.”
“You’re not marryin’ us.”
Tommy matched Joel’s pose, crossing his arms over his own chest and staring his brother down.
“Then I guess you’re not gettin’ married.”
Joel scoffed. “We’re gettin’ married. We can do it ourselves.”
“Joel?” you said, putting your hand on his arm.
He met your eyes, the angry look on his face immediately disappearing. “Yeah, baby?”
“I don’t have a problem with Tommy marrying us. I think it’s sweet he got ordained.” You pointedly look at Tommy, saying in a tone that brokers no argument. “And I know Tommy would be very serious about the whole thing because he knows how important this is to us.”
Tommy’s hands go up in defense. “Hey, now, I’m not takin’ this job lightly,” he says.
Looking back at Joel, you say, “See, he means well, and I kinda like the idea of him doing it. We’ve got our whole family here—him, Ellie, Maria. Why not let him be involved?” You shrug.
He’s frowning, sighing out, “Fine.” He glares at his brother. “Don’t say anythin’ stupid—this is a big day for us. Keep it simple.”
“I can do that.”
“Okay.” Joel nods. His face softens when he looks over at Ellie. “Would you, uh, care to be my best man or woman, as it were?”
Surprise is on her face. “You want me to be your best man?” She points at herself.
“Well, yeah?” He sounds unsure as he keeps talking, eyes darting away, “Or, if you’d rather be the maid of honor, I’m sure Doc would be happy to have ya by her side.”
Ellie makes a face, meeting your eyes. “No offense, Doc, but I’m not feeling, ‘maid of honor.’” Her attention moves back to Joel, grinning. “But best man sounds fucking cool. What do I do?”
Joel’s smiling, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Just gotta stand next to me and be my moral support. Unfortunately, I don’t have a ring for you to hold.”
“That’s fine,” she replies. “I can stand beside you—catch you if you faint, make sure you say your lines, oh! Offer you a handkerchief when you start crying like a baby.”
“You don’t have a handkerchief…”
“Or do I?”
“Do you?”
“Of course not. Where the fuck would I get a handkerchief? My plan if you become a blubbering mess is to just, like, wipe at your face with the sleeves of my sweater.” She holds up her arms to show her maroon zip-up hoodie that’s a little baggy on her.
“I’m not gonna cry…”
There’s a shift, her playful expression melting away, replaced with a soft look showing earnestness and trust, her voice a little quieter like she’s trying not to scare him away, “You know it’s okay if you do, right?” she asks. “I won’t think any less of you, Joel. This whole thing is really fucking exciting, and I’d expect some tears, so don’t worry about me, okay?”
“Okay,” he replies, the word coming out rougher.
“So,” she starts, looking around at the adults. “How is this going down? In the books I’ve read, there’s music and people walking down the aisle and shit.”
Tommy walks around everyone to stand in front of the podium, everyone turning to look at him. “They’ll be over here and stand in front of me, you next to Joel, and I’ll get this show on the road.”
“I’m sitting,” Maria says, taking a seat in the first pew, her hand resting on her belly.
Your head turns toward Joel, him meeting your eyes. “You ready?” he asks.
The nerves you felt earlier had disappeared, and now you’re just excited. Sure, you hadn’t envisioned Tommy Miller doing your wedding ceremony, but you know, without a doubt, he’ll do his best. Even with him being a pain in the ass sometimes, he’s always been a sweetheart who loves his brother dearly—loved his niece a whole lot, too—and he’ll go out of his way to make this special.
You smile, taking his hand. “Let’s get married,” you answer.
He gives you a beaming smile, and quickly you’re moving to where Tommy had indicated, you on his left and Joel on his right.
Ellie pats Joel on the back, hearing her whisper, ‘You got this,’ him twisting a little to say back, ‘Thanks, Ellie.
Tommy pulls out a piece of notebook paper from his back pocket with writing on both sides, unfolding it to read from, and you’re impressed that he put in so much thought. Your hands are in front of you, Joel holding them, his thumbs rubbing over your knuckles, him smiling softly.
“Welcome, everyone,” Tommy starts, looking between you all and glancing at his notes. “Now, I’ve been to my fair share of weddings. They were all before everythin’ went to hell, and a lotta them started with how gettin’ married was the beginnin’ of some remarkable journey, yadda yadda yadda, you get the picture. That don’t quite work for Joel and Doc. No, their remarkable journey started in the summer of 2002, and I remember the day they met ‘cause Joel called me askin’ if I could come over the next day to hang out with Sarah since he asked his doctor out on a date—let me just tell y'all, I was confused as all get out ‘cause our doctor was a man in his 60s, with a bad combover, that was happily married, and I was under the impression, Joel was only attracted to women. My brother and I were raised that you love who you love—skin color, gender, none of that shit matters, which was pretty progressive for Texas. So, Joel tellin’ me he was goin’ on a date with his doctor, I thought he was comin’ out to me, and Joel, do you remember what I said?”
Joel snorts, replying, “‘Dr. Carlson’s a great guy. Where ya fellas goin’?”
You remember what Dr. Carlson looked like, which has you laughing hard with everyone else.
“That’s what I said,” Tommy continues, amused. “I was just happy my brother was goin’ on a date, didn’t care who with. He’d corrected me that it was a new doctor, and I’m not jokin’ when I say that Joel jabbered on and on about her for a solid hour, and I knew he had it bad. That was only the beginnin’ and after their first date? I knew he’d found the one.” Tommy looks at Joel. “I apologize for airin’ your personal business—” he went back to addressing everyone “—but Joel had bad luck with women, mostly ‘cause he went out with the wrong ones who didn’t much care for him havin’ a kid. But then he met Doc, who loved him, and his daughter, and I can tell y’all that Sarah—” Emotion is thick in his voice, already feeling tears starting to form in your eyes. “—woulda been happier than a hog in mud that they’re finally gettin’ hitched.” He’s fondly smiling. “I think her exact words would be, ‘Oh, thank god, took ya long enough.’” You and Joel chuckle, a tear falling down your cheek, his eyes watery, knowing he was hearing in his mind her saying those exact words just as you were. “Seein’ these two together,” Tommy kept speaking, “they just make sense. Aside from my wife, and I, I’ve never seen a more perfect couple—they complement and balance each other, and honestly, couldn’t have picked better partners. I only saw their relationship from the outside, but boy, could I feel their love; I can still feel it, and that love is what’s brought them here today. I don’t know that remarkable is the right word to describe their journey to get here—impossible seems more fittin’, and if there’s one thing they’ve shown me, it’s that soulmates exist.” Ellie scoffs, Tommy looking at her with a smile. “I know it’s cheesy, but hear me out. You familiar with Greek mythology?”
“No…?” she answers, and you’re wondering where he’s going with this.
“Myths are stories passed on by people that explain things about the world, like how it was created and such. Pretty much just people makin’ shit up and tellin’ each other until they thought it was true, but there’s this one I heard once about soulmates. It goes that when humans were created by Gods—the Greeks had more than one,” he clarifies, “they had four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. They weren’t fragile like we are now, they were pretty freakin’ powerful, and it made them fearless enough to challenge the Gods, and they sure didn’t care for that, so to take the humans down a peg, they were split into two, and were forced to spend their lives searchin’ for their other half. Sounds kinda familiar, right?” he asks her.
“Holy shit,” she breathes.
“Right? You’ve got these two who had a happy life together and were torn apart. I, uh—” Tommy audibly gulps “—didn’t know if Joel could live without her if I’m honest. They kept searchin’, ‘cause that’s how deep their love goes, just never stoppin’, and it took twenty goddamn years for them to find each other again, but they did—found their other halves, ‘cause they're meant to be together. So, us bein’ in this church today? It’s been a long time comin’ and marks the beginnin’ of a new chapter in their lives—one where they’re back together and finally gettin’ to live as husband and wife.” Tommy looks between you and Joel. “Before we get into it, I gotta thank you both. Even though I was jealous of what you have, it gave me a blueprint for what I wanted in a relationship.” He smiles softly. “Our story isn’t as crazy as yours, but I found it with Maria—she’s my soulmate.”
His wife starts booing from her seat, and everyone erupts in laughter. “This ain’t about us,” Maria teases. “You’re embarrassin’ me.”
“Sorry, honey, was just tellin’ the truth.”
“You can tell it later. Keep goin’.”
“Gotta listen to my wife,” he chuckles, looking at his paper quickly. “Does anyone object to this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
“Do people actually object?” Ellie asks. “What happens if they do?”
“Nothin’,” Joel answers, looking over his shoulder at her. “The person gets kicked out.”
You lean to the side to meet her eyes. “The objection part was for back before there were public records, so if there was a legitimate reason for the couple not to wed, like one of them was already married, someone with the knowledge would object, and the wedding would stop. In modern days, people who objected usually wanted to proclaim their love to the bride or groom.”
“That sounds really fucking awkward.”
“It was.”
You straighten, your attention back on Tommy as he starts speaking, “We are gathered here today to join these two in the union of marriage and celebrate their love. We all know the seriousness of the commitment bein’ entered and recognize that they have a truly special bond. Go ahead and look at each other; you’re gonna wanna remember this.”
Looking into Joel’s eyes, you take in the rich chocolate color and how they’re gleaming with unshed tears. There’s a pink tint to his cheeks, those grey waves of his combed back from his face, and his pouty lips turned up in a happy little smile, him looking so unbelievably handsome. There may be more lines on his face, signs that he’s aged, but staring at him in this moment, he still looks like the man you fell in love with all of those years ago, and you can see him, can perfectly picture that Joel having this same expression on his face.
“And now,” Tommy begins reading from what he’d written, “Joel, do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to protect her, to comfort her, to share in the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health, and whatever life might throw your way?”
“I do,” he answers so clearly, hearing how much he means the two words, and it makes you sniffle.
Tommy says your name, addressing you, “Do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to protect him, to comfort him, to share in the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health, and whatever life might throw your way?”
“I do,” you reply with the same conviction as Joel, and he smiles, a tear falling down his face.
The other man’s attention is on Joel, “Joel, repeat after me, I, Joel Miller, take you—” He says your full name, “—to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and protect always, holdin’ unto you forevermore.”
Joel’s gaze is locked on yours, his voice thick as he repeats what Tommy told him to. Your lip is trembling, feeling so happy you want to cry.
“Doc, repeat after me,” Tommy starts, “I—” He uses your full name, “—take you, Joel Miller, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and protect always, holdin’ unto you forevermore.”
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“—take you, Joel Miller, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and protect always, holding unto you forevermore.” He can hear the truth in every word you speak, knowing you mean them all, and it has warmth spreading through his veins, feeling like he might be floating with how happy he is.
You’re on the verge of tears, smiling at him, and looking so beautiful that he’s saving it to memory how you look at this very second, wanting to remember it always.
Tommy’s grinning. “By the power vested in me by some online church, I forgot the name of and the town of Jackson, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” He looks at Joel, clapping his hand on his shoulder. “You may now kiss the bride.”
Joel doesn’t need to be told twice, his hands moving up to cradle your jaw while he moves in, fusing his lips to yours in a searing kiss, ignoring the tears falling down both your cheeks. It’s a little wet, but he puts everything he’s got into kissing his wife for the first time.
His wife. He got you back, and now he’s married to you, and nothing else has felt more right in the world. You’re his wife.
He’s deepening the kiss, wanting you to feel his love, his happiness, his devotion, that the vows you made to each other are the real deal, and he meant every single one—he will live as your husband until the end of his days, following you even in death, loving you forever, doing everything he can to honor you, protecting you with his life, being there when you need comfort, happy to share whatever good times await you and be with you through the bad, knowing he’ll never leave your side in sickness and in health, and that you’re stuck with him no matter what life throws in your way, because like Tommy said, you’re meant to be together—went through literal hell to find each other, and he never wants to lose you again.
There might be some credence to the stuff his brother said about soulmates. When Joel lost you, it felt like he’d lost a chunk of himself, and having you back has filled that void.
“Is the kiss supposed last this long?” Ellie whispers to Tommy. “It’s like he’s eating her face.”
You must hear her with how you snort, breaking the kiss so you can giggle, Joel sighing, Tommy and Maria laughing.
“Sorry,” you apologize to him.
“Nothin’ to be sorry about,” he replies, leaning in to give you a quick kiss.
“Let’s all hit the bar to celebrate,” Tommy says.
Joel nods at his brother, who starts walking over to his pregnant wife to help her up from her seat.
It just seems like the natural thing, Joel taking your hand as you both turn around toward the door, his attention moving to Ellie beside him.
“What’d ya think?” he asks her.
She smiles. “Disgustingly sappy, but I liked it. That soulmate shit was cool. I gotta do my best man duties—can you get down a little? You’re too fucking tall.”
Confused by her request, his eyebrows crease, but he slightly bends his knees. Ellie covers her hand with her maroon sleeve, pressing it to his left cheek, and it feels like his throat is going to close up that she’s wiping away the tear tracks. Her tongue is peeking out in concentration as she gets one cheek, then the other, giving him a once over and moving her head to get different angles, ensuring she gets all the wetness.
“Done!” she says, her arm dropping to her side. “How’s Doc’s face? Does she need me to help her out, too?”
He stands to his full height, his head swiveling your way and finding you’ve used your own sleeve to clean your face.
You lean past him to look at her. “I’m good, Ellie,” you reply with a smile. “Thank you, though.”
“No problem.”
The young girl is next to him as you leave the church, Tommy and Maria leading. His brother has an arm around his wife’s waist as they walk, and Joel’s holding your hand.
“So,” Ellie begins. “If we’re going to the bar, does that mean I get to have a celebratory drink, too..?”
“No,” all four of the adults say simultaneously.
“Geez, you guys are no fun.”
“There’s juice for you and me,” Maria replies, looking over her shoulder at the teen.
“Great,” Ellie grumbles, and it makes Joel smile.
The bar is how he remembers it from the last time he was here, except the mood is lighter this go around, and the place is just as empty as before.
“Holy shit!” Ellie exclaims, beelining for a corner. “Mortal Kombat?!”
He remembers how excited she’d been seeing the old arcade game when they’d stopped on their way to Bill and Frank’s. She said her friend knew everything about it, and Ellie seemed to love the character Mileena. She’s pressing the buttons and jerking the joystick. “Does it work?” she twists her body to ask.
You and Joel are standing with her while Tommy goes behind the bar, Maria taking a seat at a table near her husband.
“No,” Tommy replies, frowning. “Sorry, kid. We tried gettin’ it to run, but somethin’ in its fried. The jukebox works, though.” He points to the opposite corner where the machine sits. It was one from the 80s modeled after jukeboxes from the forties and fifties but updated to play CDs, with colorful lights glowing on the front. “There should be quarters in the bucket on that table by it.”
Ellie immediately went to it, the arcade game forgotten, hearing her clicking the button to flip through the track listings. The two of you headed for the bar, Tommy having set five glasses onto the bartop and was currently using an ice pick to break ice from a block.
“Tommy?” Maria calls.
“Yes, dear?” he answers, putting ice into each cup.
“Can you show ‘em what we got?”
“Yeah.” Tommy moves a few steps away to grab something, then sets it up next to the glasses.
On a plate sits a small round cake covered in white icing.
His brother is smiling. “She says ‘we,’ but it was really her,” Tommy confides in you both. “An olive branch, if you will.”
You’re turning to tell Maria, “Thank you. This was very thoughtful of you.”
The other woman waves away your words, replying, “It was nothin’. Can’t have a weddin’ without cake.”
“Well, thank you. We appreciate it.” You’re hugging Joel’s arm, looking up at him. “Right, Joel? We appreciate it very much.”
“That we do,” he responds, his head moving to look at the other woman. “Thank you, Maria.”
“You’re welcome, Joel.” She nods.
He doesn’t think they’ll ever be best friends, but she’s been friendlier this time around.
“I’ve never heard this song,” Ellie’s voice is loud as she speaks. “But based on the title, I’m pretty sure it’s how Joel feels about Doc.”
“What song?” he asks, both of you turning in place, looking in her direction.
“Gimme a second. I’m trying to figure out how to work this fuckin’ thing.” There’s the sound of her struggling, and before he can go help her, you’re already heading her way.
There’s a pull for him to walk over there, too, and he has to fight it to stay back, resting his side against the bartop with his arms crossed, watching from afar.
He glances at his brother to see him pouring drinks, putting what looks to be apple juice in two of them.
His attention goes back to you and Ellie, her pointing at what he assumes is a song, which makes you laugh, and him frown because he’s dying to know which one it is.
“You’re right on the money, squirt,” you tell Ellie as you show her how to use the jukebox.
A second later, the opening to “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by The Police starts playing, Joel snorting and shaking his head as the lyrics run through his head, seeing how they are pretty accurate—every little thing you do is magic, and you’re always turning him on.
Something inside him soothes when you beckon him over, Joel quickly walking across the bar.
He’s in front of you, and you lean in so your lips are close to his ear, asking in a whisper for only him to hear, “Is your back okay?”
You’re pulling back, searching his face. His back isn’t bothering him at the moment, and he’s able to move around fine. “Yeah,” he answers.
A toothy smile appears on your face. “Dance with me, then,” you say. “Please.”
There’s an empty space in front of the jukebox that you’re standing in that must’ve been used as a small dancefloor. He feels heat licking up his neck because he hasn’t danced in years, and there’s an audience—Ellie watching off to the side with an amused look, Tommy with a matching expression over at the bar.
“Yeah, Joel,” Ellie ribs. “Dance with her.”
“Remember, Joel,” Tommy yells. “Happy wife, happy life!”
He sighs, gulping at your hopeful expression, not wanting to disappoint you. “Apologies in advance if I step on your toes, ma’am,” he says as he pulls you into his arms—a hand around your waist, the other holding your hand, while you’re grabbing his shoulder. He goes the safe route, starting to move you both in a swaying shuffle, you grinning at him with stars in your eyes that make his heart pick up in speed.
It’s not really a slow-dancing song. It’s too upbeat and moves too quickly. His heart is in his throat when the steps come back to him as if he’s riding a bicycle, you laughing softly when he begins leading you in quicker movements around the small space. He’s smiling at your glee when he throws in a spin here and there, knowing it amuses you, always pulling you back into his arms.
Ellie is standing by the jukebox with an expression on her face like she can’t believe what she’s seeing but is delighted by it anyway.
It’s reminding him of going out with you to the bar in Austin that did live music, having a few drinks, and you pulling him onto the dancefloor with the rest of the couples. With how happy you look, he thinks you’re remembering the same thing, the both of you just letting loose and having fun.
Fun.
When was the last time he got to have carefree fun like this? Sure, he and Ellie had some fun on the road, but he was always on alert and couldn’t let his guard down. Christ, he sure as hell wasn’t having any fun before the teenager came into his life.
That means the last time he got to enjoy himself like this was on his birthday, watching his favorite movie with Sarah while waiting for you to get off work. He hadn’t found it odd you were working at such a late hour that night since your clinic in the big city was open twenty-four hours, and there were times it was so busy you couldn’t call him until the end of your shift.
And here he is, having the best time dancing with you.
He’s taken aback by how normal this all feels. He woke up that morning with you beside him, in the new house you share, got married in a church, and is now celebrating in a bar with a cake, having drinks, and dancing to music as if outside the town walls, there isn’t desolation and unimaginable horrors.
How long can Jackson remain being this little oasis amongst the apocalyptic hellscape? How much time will he get in this bliss? Too many things have happened to him to think this will last—it’s too good to be true.
The song comes to an end, and he lowers you in a dip, causing you to giggle while Ellie claps.
Pulling you back up, you grab his face and kiss him, Joel losing himself in the sensation of your lips on his, feeling you smiling.
He focuses on you in his arms and your mouth on his, grounding him and pulling him from the darkness of his thoughts, giving him hope.
Joel will do whatever he can to help keep this town safe. It’s a new beginning for the three of you; Ellie can have a somewhat normal life and get to be a kid, you can relax, and the two of you can settle down together, hopefully living out the rest of your many years here.
“Thank you for dancing with me,” you say when you pull back, taking him from his thoughts.
“Any time,” he replies, smiling.
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There’s a possibility you might explode from how happy you are.
You’re married to Joel. He’s your husband.
Staring into those big brown eyes of his, a sweet smile on his lips, you start speaking, “I need you to do something for me.”
His eyebrows dip together. “Anythin’,” he responds, rubbing his big hands over your arms.
“I need you to pinch me—I’ve gotta make sure I’m not dreaming and you’re really here with me.”
The expression on his face melts into something soft. His hand dips down to pinch your hip, his other one caressing the side of your face. “There,” he says. “Believe I’m here now, baby?”
Tears spring to your eyes, grinning as you crash your mouth to his, kissing him desperately, your hands wrapping around his neck.
“I suddenly want juice,” Ellie announces to no one in particular. “So, I’m gonna go get some, so I don’t have to see this. Seriously, guys. Gross.”
Her comment has you breaking apart from Joel, giggling as you face her.
“Sorry, Ellie,” you tell her, seeing her face pinched in disgust. “We did warn you about the excessive PDA.”
“Yeah,” she replies. “Still gross. I mean, who wants to see their… their… their.”
“Dad?” you finish for her.
“He’s not my dad.” It’s said almost like a reflex, and you can see fear in her eyes.
She’s like a wounded animal, and you’re going to need to be careful. You close the distance slowly; it’s only a couple of steps.
Joel’s moved beside you, and you’re surprised when he speaks, his voice low so only the three of you can hear. “It’s okay,” he says, her gaze on him. It takes him a second to figure out his next words, and he looks away with his hands perched on his hips. “That shit I said last time we were here? I was lyin’.” He sighs. “Thought if I said it out loud, it’d be true.” He meets her eyes. “You can, uh, call me whatever you’d like—caretaker, guardian, ward, Dad. ‘Cause—” he audibly swallows. “—I think of you as my kid,” he says softly. “You’re not cargo. Never were. You’re family. My family.”
“You’re my family, too.” Her voice is quiet, looking hopeful. “Feels weird calling you, Dad, though—” She points at him “—you’re Joel.”
He smiles. “Then keep callin’ me, Joel,” he reassures. “If people ask, can I say you’re my…?”
“Daughter?” she finishes for him, smiling. “Sure.” Ellie shrugs. “And you’re my father, but—” She looks around like she’s making sure no one is listening, saying conspiratorially, “—I’m pretty sure I’m adopted.”
He snorts. “That was stupid.”
She grins. “I thought it was pretty funny, Dad.” She makes a face. “Oh, yeah, that’s fucking weird—no offense,” she adds quickly.
“None taken.”
Her eyes dart away. “I’m glad you brought me here,” she says. “And that I’ve got you—both of you now.”
“Yeah, I’m happy you’re here, too, and Ellie?”
“Yeah, Joel?” They look at each other.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere. Okay?”
“Okay.” She nods. “That juice sure sounds good,” she says a bit louder, making you smile because Joel hadn’t been lying that they’re both terrible at expressing their feelings to one another.
“Let’s go, kid,” he replies.
She’s already moving toward the bar, and you take his hand, both of you mosying your way over.
“Congratulations, Joel,” you whisper.
“For what?”
“It’s a fourteen-year-old girl.”
He chuckles. “What can I say?” he whispers back. “I’m a girl Dad.”
“Yes, you are.”
Taking seats at the bartop, Joel is between you and Ellie, Tommy placing drinks in front of each of you before walking out from behind the bar to take Maria her juice, holding his own glass.
“To Mr. and Mrs. Joel Miller!” Tommy toasts.
Everyone raises their glasses before taking a drink.
It’s whiskey—actual facts whiskey, and not moonshine, it sliding down your throat smoothly, relishing the burn. This was quality shit from before the outbreak that was extremely hard to find.
“Holy shit,” you breathe, staring at the glass. “This is the real fucking deal.”
“We save it for special occasions,” Tommy replies. “But we also have shit we’ve made.”
“Thank you for letting us have some,” you say, turning your head to look at him. “I haven’t had a decent drink in years.”
“You’re welcome, Doc.” He holds his cup up to you.
Joel sets his glass down, you taking another drink.
His arm goes around your waist, his other hand scratching at the back of his neck, and you can tell he’s trying to figure out what to say.
He keeps his eyes forward. “I just wanna thank y’all for makin’ today real special for us,” he says loud enough for everyone to hear. “It means a lot to us havin’ ya here.”
“Psh—” Ellie playfully punches his arm. “—like I’d miss my chance at seeing you so happy it makes you cry, and I wasn’t disappointed.”
“Yeah…”
“We ain’t done celebratin’!” Tommy exclaims. “There are gifts.”
You and Joel are turning in your seats to look at his brother.
“What are you talking about?” you ask. “You’ve done more than enough. The house, the beautiful ceremony, the cake, this booze. We can’t accept anything else.”
“Yeah, Tommy,” Joel adds. “We don’t need anythin’ else.”
“Oh, quit it,” he replies, walking back behind the bar. “Let us spoil ya today. You sure as fuck deserve it.” He’s leaning down to grab something behind the bar and coming back up, keeping his hands low so you can’t see what he’s got. “This first gift is from Maria and me.”
“Why are you lyin’ to them?” his wife asks. “That gift is all you—I got the cake.”
“‘Cause we’re married.” He sounds exasperated.
“That one’s too damn special, it’s solely from Tommy, and I had nothin’ to do with it.”
He sighs.
“This first gift is from me,” he says, the last word a little louder. “And only me.”
“We read you loud and clear,” you reply. “I am dying to know what it is.”
He looks a little unsure as he speaks, “Well, now that y’all are here together, I’m hopin’ you’ll want them.” Two Polaroid pictures are placed between you and Joel, both having faded a little over time, your breath catching in your throat, covering your mouth with a hand.
The first one is of Joel and Sarah making silly faces at the camera—him with his hair still brown and his face less worn from age. You’ve worried that over time your memory of what Sarah looks like had decayed, but here she is with her dad’s eyes, her beautiful smile, and her head full of curly hair, just as you remember.
You’re reaching out to touch the second photo of the three of you on her fourteenth birthday at Joel’s house. You’ve got your arms around her, Sarah resting her head on your shoulder, Joel hugging you both from behind, all three of you smiling at the camera.
“I, uh, told Joel this last time I saw him,” Tommy starts. “But I went back to the house some years ago. Place was picked clean—found those, though.” He points at them. “Kept one of her and me—hope that’s alright.”
Joel’s voice is thicker from emotion, “Of course it’s alright,” he says. “Thank you.”
“Yes, thank you, Tommy,” you add.
“You’re welcome.”
“Look at her,” you murmur.
“Just like I remember,” he whispers. “God, I miss that smile.”
“I do, too.”
“Can I see this one?” he asks, pointing at the one with the three of you.
“Yeah.” You move your hand to pick up the other, him taking the one he wanted gingerly between his fingers.
He stares at it for a second before showing it to Ellie. “This is Sarah,” he says to her. “My other daughter. I just know she would’ve liked you. Not that I think you’re the same. Definitely different kids, but still mine.”
“How are we different?” she asks.
“Well, she was a lot more, I wanna say girly?” He’s quickly adding, “And I’m not sayin’ that you’re not girly...”
She snorts. “I’m not.”
Joel smiles crookedly, “Yeah, you’re not. So that. She was taller. She had that killer smile.” His eyes widen, worry on his face, speaking fast, “Again, not sayin’ you don’t...”
“Chill out, Joel,” she laughs, him visibly relaxing. “She did have a killer smile. You really think she’d like me?”
“Oh, yeah.” He nods. “You’d get on like a house on fire. She would’ve liked you ‘cause you’re funny. I think you would’ve made her laugh,” he answers thoughtfully. “The two of you love music—she had a small CD collection she would’ve liked showin’ you. And I know together you would’ve had too much fuckin’ fun givin’ me shit. Can picture you gangin’ up on me,” he chuckles. “She would’ve liked you a whole helluva a lot, and I bet you would’ve liked her back.”
“Yeah, I think I would’ve,” she replies. “Sarah sounds really fucking cool.”
He’s softly smiling, looking at the picture. “Yeah, she was the coolest.” His head swivels in her direction, “Not sayin’ you’re not cool—you’re really fuckin’ cool, too. The two of you are way cooler than me.”
She’s laughing. “Jesus Christ, Joel,” she says. “It’s okay, and it doesn’t take much to be cooler than your old ass.”
“Yeah,” Tommy speaks up, Joel and Ellie looking at him, smirking. “Sarah would’ve found you hilarious, and y’all would’ve had a blast terrorizin’ the fuck outta this asshole.” He nods his head toward Joel.
“God, Joel’s right,” you add. “They would’ve ganged up on him, just a constant Joel roast.”
“It’s already a constant Joel roast…” Joel grumbles.
Rubbing his arm, you reply, “But it’s done affectionately.”
“I guess,” he sighs.
“There’s one more gift for ya,” Tommy says.
You’re staring him down, telling him, “Tommy, the pictures are more than enough—way more than enough. We can’t accept anything else. We won’t.” You shake your head.
“She’s right,” Joel cuts in. “You’ve given us too much. There’s no fuckin’ way we can ever repay you.”
“This gift isn’t from me,” Tommy responds with a little smile. “It ain’t from Maria either.”
“Then who’s it from?” Joel asks, confusion on his face.
You’re wondering the same thing. There’s no one else in Jackson you know.
“Ellie.” He points at her, both of you turning your heads to look at her, you having to lean around Joel.
“Hey.” She puts up her hands in defense. “Tommy helped!” She points at him. “Told me I could pick out a gift for you guys, and we went around to a bunch of places last night looking at shit, and I saw something I thought you might like, but it’s probably super fucking lame, so if you wanna trade it, go for it. I have no fucking clue what to get people when they get married.”
“Hey, don’t stress,” you reply, giving her a reassuring smile. “We’re gonna love it.”
“Yeah.” Joel smiles, knocking his shoulder against hers. “We’ll love anythin’ you got us.”
She looks unsure. “I hope so.”
“What’d you get us?” you ask.
Her attention moves to Tommy.
“Is it back there?” she asks him.
“Yep,” he answers.
Ellie jumps off her barstool, walking around the bar, to lean down and grab something that seems big, but you can’t see since it’s so low, her moving back toward you both.
When she’s in sight, your eyes go wide, realizing it’s a black hardshell guitar case.
There’s pink on her cheeks, holding it out to Joel, looking down at her feet. “When, um, we were on our way to Salt Lake City, you, um, said you wanted to find a guitar?” she says it as a question. “Said you hadn’t played in forever and that you’d teach me. Which you don’t have to,” she quickly adds. “But, um, I figured if you used to play, you probably played for Doc and Sarah, and she’d maybe wanna hear you again, so a guitar, for your wedding or whatever.”
“It’s perfect,” he chokes out, and you can see his eyes glistening as he gently takes it from her. “Thank you, Ellie. I, uh, didn’t think you’d remember all that.”
She meets his eyes. “I do. Remember a lot of it. So, there you go.” She’s wringing her hands in front of her, Joel carefully setting the guitar against the bar and getting up from his chair to stand in front of her.
“Would it be alright if I hugged you?” he asks softly.
“Sure.”
He’s slow in his movements, not going too quick as he wraps his arms around her, one behind her back, the other hand cradling the back of her head, resting her cheek on his shoulder. Her own arms go around his middle, his chin nestled atop her hair.
A father holding his last living child, a daughter being held by the only parent she’s known, a comfort they’ve both needed and something to cherish.
“Thank you, baby girl,” he whispers.
This seems like a private moment, averting your eyes, Tommy doing the same.
“I’m happy you’re, uh, better,” he continues.
“Thanks for not giving up on me,” she says just as softly.
“Never in a million years, I… care about you too damn much.”
“I care about you, too.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
They stay like that for seconds longer before separating, his hands on her shoulders.
“I think I promised I’d sing for you,” he tells her with a warm smile. “I apologize if I’m a bit rusty.”
“I didn’t save the world.”
“There’s still time, kiddo.” He moves back over to the black case to open it up, pulling out the mahogany acoustic guitar, its sides stained black, him admiring it. “Well, isn’t she a beauty.”
“You gonna play the thing or take it out on a date?” Ellie asks, making you giggle.
Joel’s eyes narrow at her, him moving to sit on the barstool with the guitar resting on his thighs.
“Gimme a second,” he replies, strumming his fingers over the strings, it clearly out of tune. “I gotta fix it.” His eyebrows are creased in concentration as he turns each peg to adjust the pitch of the strings until he’s satisfied, nodding his head when he strums, and it sounds right.
He’s not playing any particular song, just reacquainting himself with the chords, doing little melodies to get back into it.
Tommy walks out from behind the bar to go sit next to Maria at her little table, his arm over the back of her chair, while nursing his drink with his other hand, both of them watching Joel in interest.
Since Joel was a child, he’s been passionate about music. By the time he turned seven, he was playing guitar, and as an adult, he was so good that he only needed to hear a song once to know how to play it.
“Promise me you won’t laugh,” he says to Ellie while still playing.
She’s smiling, replying, “I won’t.”
He gives her a look.
“I won’t, I promise,” she says.
He nods his head.
“I’m trustin’ you.”
It makes sense that only after some minutes, he seems to have the hang of it, things sounding smoother, and you grin when he moves into a familiar tune—the steady rhythm with the twang as he plucks the strings, excitement bubbling in your belly over what was about to happen.
He’s focused on the guitar, his voice a deep, throaty rasp, as he starts crooning the beginning of “Stand by Me” by Ben E. King.
Tears are back in your eyes, feeling emotional that he’s playing your song.
This was the first song he’d ever played for you all those years ago, the song you’d ask him to play again and again because of how much you loved it, the song you thought would play while you shared your first dance after saying ‘I do,’ the song you could imagine him singing to your children.
And here he is, playing the guitar for the first time in over twenty years, and this is the song he’s chosen to sing, knowing how much it’d mean to you.
Joel Miller is the love of your life, has always been the love of your life, and now you get to call him your husband.
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She’s honestly surprised that he’s not bad—kind of reminds her of the singer from Pearl Jam, but, like, if he were Texan and his voice was a bit deeper.
God, she misses her Walkman so fucking much, she’d kill to hear “Take on Me” again. Wait, maybe Joel knows it, and he could play it for her. She’ll have to ask him when he finishes with this song.
It’s crazy to her that this time last year, she’d been in FEDRA school, getting up to shit with Riley, and now she’s across the country, in a small town that fucking works with her—Jesus, it’s even fucking weird to think about calling him her Dad—Joel, he’s her Joel, it’ll take some time to ease into the name change. Anyways, she’s now here with Joel and Doc, who’s honestly a great addition to their team.
If anyone deserves to be reunited with their one true love like he’s living a fucking fairytale, it’s Joel, and Ellie is so fucking relieved that Doc is actually pretty great; she’s more than pretty great, actually. Doc is fucking awesome and has always been honest with her, so she knows that when Doc told her she’d try to figure out a cure, she was telling the truth, and that gives Ellie hope that she might actually get a chance at saving the world after all.
Everything she’s gone through, all of the people who’ve died for her, it all needs to fucking mean something. It has to.
Ellie’s happy for Joel and Doc, she really is, and she’ll never admit it out loud, but she’s scared. Not that, like, Joel will forget about her now that he has a wife. No, they care about her too much, and that’s what scares her.
For the first time in her entire fucking life, she has a family—Joel, Doc, even Tommy, and Maria—she has people who give a shit about her and love her. Joel wants her to call him ‘Dad,’ he thinks of himself as her father, and she sees herself as his daughter, and now there’s Doc, too, who’s so warm and comforting, and fuck, what if something happens to them? What if she loses them like she’s lost every other person who’s ever given a fuck about her? This time last year, she had Riley, and now Riley’s dead, and not only that, but Ellie’s the one that had to kill her.
A year and so much has changed.
What if she loses all of this?
She told Sam she’s afraid of ending up alone, but really she’s frightened of outliving the people who care about her, and now there are so many.
She just has to remind herself that Joel is the strongest man on the entire fucking planet. He got her across the country, basically came back from the dead, and took out a hospital full of Fireflies—they’re not in danger here in Jackson, and if they were? Joel will keep her and Doc safe, she’s positive about that, and Ellie will help, she can hold her own, and she’s not going to let anyone else die for her.
They’re safe.
Everything is going to be okay. Joel will make sure of it.
The song finishes, and he sighs, not looking at her as he asks, “Well?”
“Well, that didn’t suck,” she replies, smiling. “I’m honestly impressed ‘cause I figured you’d be fucking terrible, but you weren’t. You were pretty good.”
He looks at her with big eyes and a little smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She nods her head.
“You still got it, babe,” Doc says.
He turns to look at her with a grin. “Yeah?” he asks her.
“Yep.” She smiles back. “You had me swooning—you know how much I love that song.”
“Yeah, I do,” he replies in a different tone that has Ellie making a face.
Jesus, they’re so gross, and now they’re kissing—of course, they are. She’s pretty sure they can’t go five fucking minutes without their lips locked.
Her attention moves to Tommy and Maria, who aren’t much better sitting close together fucking canoodling.
Disgusting.
She’s got the ick.
“Cake sure sounds really fucking good right about now,” she says loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
“Hell yeah, it does,” Tommy replies, getting up from his chair. “I’ve got plates and shit.” He’s walking back behind the bar.
Joel and Doc have unlocked their lips, thank god.
“Joel?” she asks.
He meets her eyes. “Yeah?”
“This is probably a long fucking shot, but there’s this band I loved called A-ha? Listened to the tape on my Walkman all the time, and they had this song called “Take On Me.” Do you know it?”
He smiles. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
He’s already playing the beginning, the familiar melody making Ellie smile so big she thinks her cheeks are gonna hurt.
Yeah, everything is gonna be okay, and her life has never been better.
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aeithalian · 11 months
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Have an observation of mine that I determined with the very legal use of pdfs and the control f function:
The phrase "I smiled" only appears 6 times in the entire ToA pentalogy.
he's glad he remembered Austin and Kayla's names (THO)
he's going crazy (THO)
he's meeting Grover (TDP)
he realizes his kids love him (TON)
he's comforting Dionysus (TON)
he's seeing Meg again after regaining godhood (TON)
The phrase "I grinned" appears 7 times.
he's going crazy (THO)
he's going crazy (TDP)
he's going crazy (TDP)
he's injured/passing out (TBM)
Piper laughed at a joke he made (TBM)
he's injured/passing out (TTT)
he's showing off his big sister (TTT)
The phrase "I laughed" appears 18 times.
4 are because he's going crazy/mentally foggy (3 in TDP, 1 in TON)
2 occur in flashbacks (Commodus in TDP and the Sybil in TTT)
4 are immediately followed by negatory words: mirthlessly and hysterically (both in THO), nervously (TBM, when Crest dies), and weakly (TON, could also fall under 'going crazy/mentally foggy')
2 are sarcastic (1 in THO, 1 in TDP)
1 is antagonistic (TON)
Which means that the remaining 5 are the only times Apollo genuinely laughs in the entire series. Which furthermore can be divided down even further when you realize:
3 are out of surprise/relief (twice in TTT when Reyna restores some of his power and once TON when he realizes he can trust Lu)
By basic math, this means that the 2 remaining times Apollo laughs in the entire series both take place in book 5. And they. both occur after his godhood is restored.
Allow me to reiterate:
THE ONLY TIMES APOLLO GENUINELY LAUGHS OUT OF JOY AND HAPPINESS AND NO OTHER REASON ARE AFTER HIS GODHOOD IS RESTORED.
Once with Dionysus. Once with Meg.
FURTHERMORE:
Our grand total for the amount of times Apollo outwardly shows and admits to feeling happiness in the entire series?
7
AND.
4 OCCUR AFTER REGAINING HIS GODHOOD.
Over half of his moments of genuine joy occur in the last four chapters of the series.
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Get this man some therapy.
Furthermore, I will take this as evidence that Apollo is a giggly drunk.
(Disclaimer: this is not an exhaustive list: there are alternative phrases that include the words "smile" and "laugh" that directly refer to Apollo's actions and feelings, but that requires a lot more work and effort than I was willing to put in.)
EDIT: a masterlist of my other metas
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austinstyles · 12 days
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Could’ve been
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Austin x reader
Summary: Austin looks back at what life was like with the reader after she had passed away. Also they were married with a baby boy. Will mostly be form Austin pov and have flash backs form the readers pov. Also they have been in each other’s life since they were both 19 years old. ( he was not with Kaia in this fanfic.) Also this fanfic is set in the present day.
Warning: kiss, dead. Spelling mistakes. And this can get a little sad for some readers. Let me know if I missed anything.
Austin pov
I was laying down in my bed with tears running down my cheeks. Missing my lovey wife of three years y/n. Our baby boy was in his bedroom sleeping. Just two months ago I became a single dad, and I lost the love of my life. Grieving has been hard, she has been here for me since 19 years old. Now I just have me and my other family members that have been supportive during this. But it’s hard to be alone without her. Because before I could call her and text her, now I just can’t talk to her.
We started to date some time after my break up with Vanessa. And the then we got married and had our little baby Christian. Our child is a three year old, and now the family we had of three is a family of two people. My wife passed away two months after Trevor birthday this year.
As I am looking at pictures of me and y/n together I feel my mind started to think back to the day I proposed to y/n.
Flashback
Austin pov
Me and y/n have been together for two years and I know she is the one for me. I can’t see myself not spending the rest of my life with her. Will grow old together and see our children grow up and our future grandchildren grow up. Today I am asking y/n to marry me. I’m hoping she will say yes.
Y/n pov
Today me and my amazing boyfriend of two years are having a nice date night. I can’t wait. I love Austin so much and would be the luckiest person in the whole entire world if we were to be together for as long as possible.
At the time Austin proposed.
Austin pov
When we get to the park where the proposal is going to happen I feel my heart beating so fast. I’m ready to Ask her this important question, and I have been ready since I knew she was the one to make her my wife.
I Get down on one knee in front of the my amazing girlfriend standing.
‘Y/n I have known you were the one for me since I first laid my eyes on you. I have fallen in love with you more and more over time. Your mental for me is what I truly believe with every bone in my entire body. Would you make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife?’
Y/n pov
I can’t believe what is happening. My boyfriend is proposing to me, my heart is beating out of my chest with excitement. I feel happy tears running down my cheeks. I know exactly what I want to say and just can’t hold it in anymore.
‘ Yes Austin I will marry you’
Me and Austin then share a magical kiss as an engaged couple. And everything feels like we have all the time in the world together.
End of flashback
Back to the present.
Austin pov
Tears are running down my eyes, I remember the happiness of that day and all the happiness we had together. But I started to remember the sadness of losing her. And how it felt so fast, everything was going good then she gets sick. Next moment she is gone.
I feel myself start to drift back to the exact moment we found out y/n is sick, exactly one year ago.
Flashback to one year ago
Austin pov
Me and y/n are in the doctors office, our son is at my sisters at this moment. We’re getting some results form test y/n have been getting since she is sick. For the past two weeks when she coughs there is blood coming out of her throat. I knew this is very serious, and my mind goes to that she could die.
We get the results and she has stage four lung cancer. And was given just months to live. And was lucky if she can live a year. Y/n and me leave the doctors office and are now sitting in the car. My wife is crying so much and I feel my heart breaking. This isn’t how we thought was going to happen so early in her life. But I have to just try and enjoy the moments I have with her left is what I know. Telling our families will be hard, and knowing your baby boy will loose his mom so young just breaks my heart.
End of flashback.
Back to the present
Austin pov
I feel so lost without her. How do I keep going knowing I won’t see her again for a very long time. But also I am very aware I have to keep going, but this is hard. My heart feels like it’s being ripped apart the moment she was dead in our bedroom. Still to this day it’s hard to sleep in my bedroom with the memory of her death. So I have been sleeping in our guest bedroom for the past two months. I know it has also been hard for my baby boy with grief over losing his mother. I know what that is like, but when I this happened to me I was a 23 year old. Let’s just say that it’s been ups and downs since loosing y/n.
My grieving has been really tough, but I need to grieve. I can’t keep living like I will wake up and she is next to me. But I believe we will see each other again some day. It’s just hard to believe she’s not here. This two months have Ben hard, I did join a support group for widows that are single parents. It’s been good to share with others so that does help.
Y/n would want me and Christian to keep on going, also for our little boy to know his mother loves him and didn’t want to leave him. But now she is his guardian angel and will always protect her child. When she was diagnosed with cancer we told your son she was very sick and had short amount of time. In the future I will definitely explain cancer to him. But we chose not to. That when differently when telling the family, it was hardest for her family defiantly. I even remember the funeral, it was a time to remember all of her life. And we’re thankful for the time we had. Just wish we all had more time with y/n.
I decided it was time to go to bed seeing it was 11:00 pm. And tomorrow I had a busy day, in my sleep I was dreaming of y/n. It all felt so real and I wanted to stay in this dream forever. In this dream we’re the small family of three again, Christian is playing with his mother and I join in the fun there having. It was amazing and so realistic. But my mind knows this isn’t real, I want this to be reality more then anything else in the hole universe.
I have to keep going I know, I tell myself this is what y/n wants me and Little toddler Christian to do. But I will always keep her in my heart. For the rest of my life.
Thanks for reading. Sorry it was a little sad. I appreciate every feedback I get. Also please like and reblog this I appreciate it. And also please request what you want me to write. I hope everyone has a great day take care.
😊👍🏻🩷🌸🖤😃
Grace
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ellilyre · 29 days
Text
I finished ToA not long ago and I wanted to write down some thoughts/scenes that stick with me
(in chronological (ish) order, watch out for spoilers)
Theres an italian girl at camp ! It means Nico gets to practice and speak italian ! (which probably haven't happened in about 70 years)
Will introducing Nico as "my boyfriend". I already knew they would be canon, but reading that line felt weird /pos
Apollo sees Solangelo and think of himself and Hyacinth
That night when Kayla and Austin disappeared and Apollo left to look for them, it probably was the first night Will ever spent alone in his cabin
Apollo's insane body dysmorphia. He's a god, he can always take the physical form he is the most comfortable and confident in... Until now. He is stuck in a body that isn't his, he feels ashamed, when he sees certain traits in others he find them charming or pretty, but when it's on him then it's disgusting. He complain that everything is this body's fault (ex. he wouldn't have been touched by the Eurynomos if it wasn't for his chub.)(I could go on for hours)
Lityerses ! I love that guy. Idk why i love him that much. He is my best guy.
Apollo's reaction to Commodus' name. His flashback of him. So painful he was physically sick.
Apollo talking Helios out of killing them, because he just want to be free, not to hurt them.
APOLLO ATTEMPT TO KHS TO STOP THEM ?? IM A SUCKER FOR SOME GOOD PAINFUL SELF SACRIFICE.
Jason. I'm not talking about Jason. I can't speak about Jason.
Frank and Apollo ! They are so fond of each other !!!
Apollo heard all of Frank's prayers when he was unclaimed and wished he could've adopted him.
And Frank respecting Apollo as a god although he is *vaguely gesture at Apollo/Lester*
Reyna saying aloud that she doesn't want nor needs romance. It's so rare to see aromantic representation and Rick did it so well.
Literally Apollo singing his way out of situations.
FRANK'S SELF SACRIFICE!!! (He already had one of my favorite character development before that)
APOLLO KILLING COMMODUS ??? why do never talk about that it's one of the best deaths I've ever seen that was BADASS AND FULL OF EMOTIONS.
Apollo slowly dying out of poison and the Dodona Arrow doing everything it can to keep him conscious.
I hope Dakota didn't get killed off just to give Lavinia the role of Centurion. I love my boy Dakota, and his death felt kind of meaningless, except for her rank up :/ also i feel like it doesn't suit Lavinia. Some ppl are strong and good and trustable but just not made to order others. (ill prop make a full post about that)
Dionysos confirmed to be an annoying little brother!
Nico. How does Rick manage to always give him more issues. Leave the kid alone.
When Will glows, Apollo is genuinely impressed and tells him how proud he is.
Nico destroying Nero's door with his giant zombie bull. That was cool.
When Apollo gets stabbed in Nero's tower and think it's the end, he prays "Zeus, Artemis, Leto, anyone"
And in general the few parts he talks about Leto, he's such a momma's boy and I love it.
When Apollo left for Delphi... I was fully expecting Meg to go with him. I was so worried that he went alone while already feeling that weakened from the previous events.
DODONA ARROW. FOREVER IN MY HEART.
Artemis is here when Apollo wakes up. She's by his side, she's the first person to tell him he succeeded, she hold him while he sobs...
The first thing he does is to greet his horses :) and then to see his friends.
When he gets back to the Dodona bush ! To tell them all how brave and heroic the Arrow have been !
I could spend hours talking about the character developments of Apollo, Meg and the Dodona Arrow (i love the arrow so much you have no idea) but its for another day
There's many things I didn't talk about, but the post is already long enough. I love those 5 books, and Apollo is an amazing narrator.
I love the Arrow of Dodona with all my heart.
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carlos-in-glasses · 6 months
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Thank you for the tags @carlos-tk @thisbuildinghasfeelings @inflarescent @lemonlyman-dotcom @alrightbuckaroo @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @strandnreyes @sanjuwrites @heartstringsduet @whatsintheboxmh @herefortarlos 🩷
Something from Flashback Fic (which I'll start posting on Sunday!) It's 2021, the day TK and Carlos break up. Carlos is drawn back to the honky-tonk...
Smiling politely but tearfully at the barman, Carlos orders a tequila slammer.
The barman blinks. “Excuse me?”
“One tequila slammer, please,” Carlos repeats, “Actually make that two!” He’s only ever had a tequila slammer during Austin Pride, at a pop-up bar with rainbow awning called Mermen on the Rocks. The silver tequila was mixed with red food dye to become pink.
The barman raises an eyebrow. He’s an older guy – a gray-bearded biker type in a leather waistcoat. His arms are covered in aged, greening tattoos of snakes curling around daggers, thorny roses growing around crucifixes. “How about one shot for the road, and then you get a taxi home and drink lots of water, son?”
“No, no, no!” Carlos appeals with flare. “I can’t go home. I have to stay right here.” He spirals a finger and then bounces it against the bar. “Right here.”
“Why can’t you go home?”
“I don’t have one. I mean I do. I’m a homeowner.”
“Okay.”
“But I was staying with my…my…” Carlos keeps swirling his finger in the air, like he’s aiming to land on words visible only to him. “But! You know. Sometimes.”
“Ah. Yeah,” The barman smiles. He has a gold tooth. Shiny. “I think I get what you’re saying.”
“Thank you. You’re the only one who does.” He’s also the only person Carlos has talked to since TK fled from him at 2 p.m. this afternoon.
“Women trouble,” the barman says definitively.
“Something like that.”
“We’ve all been there.”
“I haven’t.”
“No?”
“I mean. I have. Literally with a woman.”
“Uh huh.” The barman surreptitiously fills a glass with water and pushes it towards Carlos slowly.
“But this is different. TK’s different.”
“Flowers. Chocolates. A groveling apology. It’s all we’ve got.”
“But I didn’t do anything wrong.”
The barman stifles a laugh. “You almost certainly did.”
“All I did was buy an apartment for us. Without mentioning it. But like…it was meant to be a happy thing. A nice surprise. It was meant to be, like…hey I got you a piece of forever, and this piece of forever has great light, and it’s near clubs and that really good bakery. You know?”
“Sounds like a good forever to me.”
“I thought so.”
“Have a little water, son.”
Carlos seizes his glass of water in both his large hands, like he has the dexterity of a three-year-old. He sips from it gently. “This is good,” he says, as if the barman has given him something new and delicious. “My partner is totally sober. My ex, I mean.” His voice cracks as he cries. “I haven’t been drunk like this in a long time.”
“That does not surprise me.” The barman sighs and hunches, leans his folded arms on the bar to create a little privacy with his shadow. He lets the strange man cry in his presence, as many have done before.
“We had our first dance here. First kiss. First–”
“Son, look at me and listen,” the barman says firmly. Carlos does. He looks into friendly blue eyes surrounded by crinkled skin. “Tomorrow is a new day. You sober up yourself, and then you take that pretty girl the biggest box of chocolates your money can buy, and the biggest motherfucking bunch of roses too. You get down on your knees and tell her you love her with your whole dumbass heart. I’ve got no other advice for you, than to try.”
Tags below + open tag!
@eclectic-sassycoweyes @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @inkweedandlizards @redshirt2 @louis-ii-reyes-strand @jesuisici33 @three-drink-amy @orchidscript @basilsunrise @mikibwrites @fitzherbertssmolder @ambiguouspenny @wandering-night19 @catanisspicy @sugdenlovesdingle @noxsoulmate @theghostofashton @paperstorm @reyesstrand @goodways @bonheur-cafe @freneticfloetry @rosedavid @chicgeekgirl89 @spaghett-onaplate @liminalmemories21 @never-blooms @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @ladytessa74 @lightningboltreader
❤️ 🩷 🧡 💛 💚 💙 🩵 💜
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missmaywemeetagain · 2 years
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Pink Scarf - PART 16 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)
Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)
Requested: kinda
(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)
Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years.  [ Fem!Reader ]
TW: Rough SEXXX. Restraints. ANGST. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.  
Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)        ||     Word Count: 7.2k
A/N: Woo, boy, y'all. Get yourselves ready, cuz the snowball is rollin' and the shit storm is comin'. This part is a little bit of everything--a little sweet, a little salty, a little smutty. It's what y'all deserve!
For the flashback, I had E's 1960 It Feels So Right playing in my head on repeat, so if you are one who likes music to set the mood, then you might give it a listen before/during/after you read that part!
As always, to all my babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every single reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to our friends from Elvis Twitter, Elvis Discord, and Elvis Instagram--I see and appreciate you coming over to join us! 👀💋
If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I think I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone. There seem to be some issues with tagging that I can't seem to fix, so please know I'm not leaving you out intentionally! Also, if you comment on a previous part that you want to be tagged, I might not always see it, so feel free to message me if I miss you!
I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat! 
Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch. 
(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my long-neglected AO3 account (which some of you already discovered!), so if you are so inclined, you can check it out over there!)
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Graceland, Christmas 1960
The mansion is finally quiet, or at least you’ve managed to find a quiet part of it in the midst of all the holiday revelry. Elvis loves Christmas, and this is his first one home in two years. And the first one without Gladys.
You had thought that maybe his grief would make the holiday a more solemn affair, but he’s gone in the opposite direction. It’s as though his loss has fueled him to make Christmas as joyful as humanly possible. Even though he’s been away filming for most of the month, he still directed the mansion should be decked out in all the Christmas finery for his return. And so it is.
You wish you were more in the spirit to enjoy it. Usually, you would be—Christmas is one of your favorite times of the year—but this year it sits heavy for you. Heavy because if all had gone well, you’d be sharing it with your newborn baby.
The thought brings you to tears again.
You’ve been hiding your grief as much as possible, sliding on a quaint smile, singing carols, and making cookies with the rest of them, but in these solitary moments, you grieve. You cannot help it. You know it’s futile and silly. How can you grieve someone who barely even existed, someone who was never born? And yet, here you are, alone, sitting in a quiet corner of the house at the piano, a couple of glasses too many of champagne in, being sad over what could have been.
So you begin to play. You know practically every carol and hymn by heart, so you just close your eyes and let the music take you away. It doesn’t erase your grief, but it does help you let it out in some way. You barely notice the tears rolling down your cheeks as you play Away In A Manger and What Child Is This?. You let the dramatic chords of O Holy Night linger in the air at the push of the pedals.
And after a bit of playing, that image of a baby in your arms feels fuzzy and faraway. Or maybe that’s the champagne. Maybe it’s both.
The air shifts. You notice it but play on anyway. You’re not sure how, but you are able to sense him, his presence, his essence, as it pushes in around you. But he remains quiet, and your eyes remain closed as your hands continue to fly over the keys.
Elvis does not interrupt, he only watches. You’re not sure why. You feel as though he barely speaks to you anymore. Yes, he is away and busy and all the usual excuses. But he used to seek you out when he returned. He’d bring you silly little trinkets and sing to you and tell you stupid, off-color jokes.
Now, since that horrible day in March, it’s as though an invisible wall has come between you two, and you don’t understand why. It’s nothing overt—he treats you kindly in the group and doesn’t outwardly ignore you. But something significant has changed, you swear it. Perhaps it is your ultimate failure as a woman that has turned him away. Or maybe with the explosion of his stardom since returning from Germany, he just doesn’t have time for you anymore. Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all; maybe he’s just a different man now.
Your tears of grief now include the loss of him, too. Losing your friend is heartbreaking in its own right, much less coupled with the loss of your child, of your fertility. It doesn’t help that Jack has been gone with Elvis on his travels and feels distant, too. You’d initially thought the space would be good for you two, but instead you just feel achingly lonely.
God, you wish you’d never been pregnant at all, as all it seemed to bring you is heartache.
You stop playing and open your eyes. The room is dim, lit only by one of the many Christmas trees in the house, but when you turn towards the door, Elvis is still there, his blue eyes shining with emotion as he leans in the doorway. The man looks ready to weep, which takes you by surprise, as he’s only shown enthusiasm and excitement since being home. You recognize the look though: it’s grief and melancholy, similar to your own.
Then Elvis looks at you unabashedly for a moment, almost like he is really, truly seeing you for the first time in months. The air sits heavy and silent. You don’t bother wiping the tears off your cheeks, though your heart races a bit. Must be the champagne, you think. It certainly isn’t the way he is looking at you now, how you are being laid bare and vulnerable by his intense gaze.
Something builds between you, though you are not exactly sure what, and he suddenly straightens and crosses the room to you. He towers over you now at the end of the piano bench and an overwhelming need to be near him comes over you. It’s as though you are both magnetized to each other, so when he holds out his hand, you cannot help but take it. The warmth of his hand surrounds yours as he pulls you up and into his waiting arms.
You fold into him, your arms tucked into your chest and your head buried into his collarbone as he wraps his arms around you. His spicy, distinct scent surrounds you and his warmth engulfs you and you cannot help the sob that escapes you at the comfort of it.
Elvis holds you close and lets you cry, and you feel his chest shudder and his breath hitch as though he is as emotional as you are. His mother, you think; he’s been hiding his grief as you’ve been hiding yours. You can feel the wetness of his tears against your temple as they run down his face and onto yours, and this prompts you to unfold your arms and wrap them around his torso, comforting him as he is comforting you.
He sways you, moving to the unheard music you assume is always playing in his mind, and pressed against him like this, you can feel the quick and steady beat of his heart pounding in his chest. You don’t remember the last time you were this close to him. He feels bigger, broader than the boy who went to Germany, but is no less Elvis. His sensitive spirit is the same after all.
You are not sure how long you sway there, crying in each other’s arms at your respective losses. But you know it’s more than just that. You know because as your tears start to ebb and you move back the slightest bit, he grabs your hand and pulls you in close, unwilling to part with you. He dances with you now, slowly pulling you back into his silent rhythm.
And you let him. You let his hand clasp yours and he draws it over his heart, holding it there. His heart beats quicker, you think. It’s too intimate now, the way his warm, damp cheek presses to yours, the saltiness of your tears mixing and binding your grief together. The air shifts again, still heavy and thick, but with a million unsaid words hanging there in the silence.
Your heart skips, flutters, and your breath catches. You’re not exactly sure what is happening. But you still let him hold you and sway you in slow circles. His hand splays hot on your lower back, burning through you, setting your body aflame in a way you don’t understand.
But you are a few glasses in and on a roller coaster of emotion and right now the feel of his strong, lean body pressed against yours makes you feel alive in a certain kind of way. You’ve been lonely and you’ve missed him more than you thought. It’s almost as if this is a silent plea for forgiveness from him.
Yes, that’s all it is.
You feel hyperaware of him and his closeness, so when Elvis nuzzles his head against the side of yours, you feel breathless. Your mouth pops open with a puff which, considering his proximity, he must feel, but he does not stop, and you cannot help the way you return the gesture in kind.
His breath is warm in your ear, and you can feel the softness of his lips brush against it, sending a decidedly inappropriate cascade of shivers dancing through you.
Oh, god.
Involuntarily, your hand contracts in his, your nails scraping lightly at his button-down shirt. Elvis presses your palm down onto his heart in response. You feel out of control, completely at his mercy, knowing this is too much, too close, too intimate but you can’t seem to stop, intoxicated by his strength, his affection, his essence.
Elvis’ still-damp cheek lingers against your own, and he presses his forehead gently to yours with a soft sigh. Then he pulls back slowly, just far enough to look at you, and you feel knocked over by his pure beauty. Honestly, you feel absolutely heady as you threaten to tip over and lose yourself in those churning, deep blue eyes of his. And, boy, they are churning, with things you can’t quite grasp. You watch as they search your face, his impossibly long lashes punctuating their every slow move. Holding your breath, your heart speeds up ever faster, and you wonder what it is he seeks in you.  
Your sadness and grief feel far away now as he plunders your soul, his gaze so alluring that you cannot even begin to piece through what is going on in any sort of logical way. You don’t understand any of it. All you know is you want more, and that feels forbidden in every way.
As if reading your thoughts somehow, his lips part. His eyes flutter down your face and land at your mouth. A shock runs through you as you think Elvis just might kiss you, and that terrifies you, not just because it would be crossing a line but because in this moment you want him to.
You want to feel his lips soft and sweet against you, then crushing into you. You want his body passionately pressed into yours as you cling to each other in the sparkling light of the Christmas tree. You want his large hands roaming your curves. You want to feel the strands of his dark hair between your fingers as you tug him closer. You want him to make you forget everything but the taste and feel of him.
These wants flash through you in an instant, shocking your system because he is so close that you almost can taste him and panic shoots through you. Never have you let your thoughts truly drift to that place with him, and opening that door feels very dangerous. Suddenly, with a wave of absolute certainty, an intuition you cannot explain at all exclaims that Elvis wants you more than anything in this world.
And that makes you gasp and pull away.
That cannot possibly be true. Nothing about the way he’s acted this past year supports that but something inside you screams that it’s real. It makes no sense. None of it makes any sense.
Elvis blinks and shakes his head as though snapping himself out of a daze. His hand falls from your waist, the spell broken. The soulful look in his eyes flashes with what almost seems like hurt, then apology, then regret. Without a single word, he turns and leaves.
Your heart plummets for reasons you don’t understand.
You must be confused. You are drunk. You are emotional. You couldn’t possibly have read the situation correctly. And yet the feelings awakened in your body surprise you and the look in his eyes haunts you as you sink back onto the piano bench, left alone in the silence.
*
Your eyes pop open at the memory. You had been very drunk that night and hadn’t remembered that moment until this very minute, yet another hidden facet of your long and suddenly complex relationship with your friend making itself known. Elvis had continued to keep his distance from you after that Christmas and had never even alluded to such an intimate moment happening, so you’d had no reason to think anything strange had happened at all. In hindsight, it seems awfully significant and feels like yet another thing he’s keeping from you.
Running it through your mind again, you swear he’d almost kissed you that night or at least had wanted to, which is shocking to you because 1960 was a long time ago. Still more shocking was that certainty you’d had about him wanting you more than anything, which couldn’t possibly be true.
Could it?
You shake off the thought. Emotions were high for both of you that night, and he obviously had thought better of it, but still…that prickle at the back of your mind keeps gnawing at you, those pieces of the puzzle attempting to slot into place. Maybe if you weren’t so damn tired and emotionally spent, you’d be able to figure out what your mind is trying to tell you. Maybe if your body wasn’t still aching with the memory of losing your child and almost dying, you’d be able to think clearly.
And your conversation with Sandy also sits uneasily in your mind. Running away ain’t gonna solve anything, her voice echoes in your head. You wish you had the strength she hoped you did, the strength to tell Jack to fuck off, to tell Elvis how you really feel, but it all feels so overwhelmingly insurmountable that you can barely even entertain the thought.
Heart pounding and wheels turning, you know sleep is out of the question and sit up in the bed. You get up and busy yourself instead. You feel as though you are racing the clock. It doesn’t take long to pack your bag, and while you are not frantic, you are determined. Mentally, you are ready to go. You have to go.
Unfortunately, things are not working out as you hoped they would. When the concierge calls you back with your fight arrangements, he informs you that there are no flights out of Vegas until 7:30am tomorrow morning. It being a Sunday night and with such short notice, there were no seats headed back east to be had. You thank him and reply that of course the morning flight would be acceptable before you set the receiver back on the hook and let out an aggravated scream.
You need out now. You are half inclined to rent a car and drive back to Memphis, but you know that is a terrible idea for a variety of reasons, namely being that you had no idea how to get to Memphis from here and being alone on the road for so long with no preparation sounded dangerous.
Fine, you think, I can make it through the night. I should tell Elvis in person anyway.
The thought makes your stomach churn because you know he will not be happy with this development. You’d rather not see the look on his face, but you also know it is the right thing to do. You just need to steel yourself to see your decision through and not be swayed by his charms.
Easier said than done.
And it doesn’t help that you are running on fumes and adrenaline. With everything that happened last night, the only sleep you’ve had was on the roof and that was short-lived and filled with nightmares. You took a shower after getting back to the room, but your mind is spinning too much to sleep, plagued with returning memories and creeping doubt.
You decide to get ready for the show as originally planned. It’ll be easier to gain access to Elvis between shows to talk if you do so. You dress accordingly, carefully putting on your makeup and doing your hair up nicely to give yourself as much confidence as possible. After repacking your toiletries, you grab your clutch and see the silky pink scarf folded neatly inside.
It takes only a moment for you to decide to put it around your neck. It’ll guarantee that Elvis will make time to see you, and you try not to shiver at the fact that the last time you wore this scarf, it led to a decidedly different outcome than it will tonight. The thought sends both warmth to your core and dread into your heart. You don’t want to leave him.
But I have to.
You shift your thoughts instead to Red, wondering and fearing whatever he might have planned. You don’t know if he is planning to sit on the information he gleaned from your leaving Elvis’ suite this morning, or if he is looking to cause mayhem immediately, though considering Jack has not burst in angrily, you don’t think anything has been said yet.
Either way, you have to warn E, and you have to get the hell out before the shit hits the fan.
The afternoon quickly turns to evening, and you pump yourself up on the way downstairs, despite the nausea in your stomach, the exhaustion in your body, and the ache in your heart. Now that you are somewhat a part of the show, it is easy to get backstage, and while you’re not sure how you are going to be able to wait the few hours the show will take, you continually remind yourself that this is what you must do. You have no choice.
But I do, I do have a choice, a pesky little voice chimes in. Stay.
Shut up.
By the time Elvis makes his way backstage, you feel like you’re about to jump out of your skin. The way his bright eyes light up when he sees you and then how they flash heat when he sees the pink silk knotted around your neck fills you with both desire and anxiety. Being near him weakens your resolve because his charismatic energy rolls over you even from this distance, and he just looks so damn good in that white suit of his, but you knew that this would test you. You force what you hope is a normal a smile, but you see a look of confusion flash over his pretty face before his usual pre-show nerves take over. But he does not come over to you, for which you are grateful.
The show begins with the usual fanfare, and you are surprised that even with everything going on in your head (or perhaps because of it), you still get swept up in the music, still sing the parts quietly that you have so diligently practiced. Regret hits you from another angle, one you did not anticipate. In leaving Vegas, you’ll also be leaving this—the show, the music.
Doubt creeps in in earnest throughout the show, putting your nerves even more on edge. You don’t really want to leave this opportunity, but the problem is you don’t think you have the fortitude to stay and to be able to resist Elvis.
The curtain closes and Elvis is surrounded, soaked with sweat, riding that post-show high that makes him nearly glow from the inside out. He wipes his face with the towel someone has draped over him, and you watch as he pulls Jerry aside with a glint in his eye, presumably to arrange your meet with him. But Jerry leans back and whispers something into E’s ear and that handsome face clouds with dark emotion. Then Elvis finds you past the crowd and his eyes lock on and you know. You know he knows by the hurt and angry look in his piercing blue eyes.
Sandy.
Goddammit.
As Elvis stalks over to you, pushing through musicians and instruments, it’s evident that Sandy has betrayed you. She told Jerry. And whether she meant for him to tell Elvis, you do not know, but your heart speeds up as Elvis crosses the backstage area in long, quick strides, with a wounded and feral look in his eyes that frightens you. It is not at all the same as the jealousy from the night prior; no, this is damage done on another scale.
You cannot help but back up as he approaches, nearly falling back over your chair, but he is on you in an instant, grabbing your arm firmly with one hand and your waist with the other, seemingly uncaring of the confused looks of his entourage that has been left behind so uncharacteristically. Luckily, Jack is nowhere to been seen, but you catch Red’s smirk before Elvis manhandles you into the hallway.
He doesn’t speak, not yet, though you see his brewing temper play over his face. Your heart drops because it is so obvious how you’ve truly hurt him, and he practically carries you back to the dressing room so quickly that you barely have time to register what that means. Once inside, he releases you and you tumble forward before he slams the door with too much force and flicks the lock.
As you straighten, you attempt to brace yourself for what you think you know is coming. Your nerves are on pins and needles, and you can’t help the lightheaded feeling that comes over you as you watch him fume. His chest heaves with both the exertion from his performance and his building fury, which makes for a dangerous combination.
You realize too late that perhaps you didn’t think this through.
“Is it true?” Elvis growls, rounding on you. “Are you trying to leave?” The pain is palpable in his stormy eyes and is layered with indignation.
The words catch in your throat. You finally force yourself to nod, attempting to find your voice in the meantime.
“What the fuck, y/n? What the fuck do you think you’re doin’?” his voice raises, as he paces the room like a caged animal. His eyes are icy now, glaring at you in such a way that you feel it to your toes. His white suit clings to him with the moisture of his sweat, which gleams off his tan skin, distracting you.
You finally find your voice. “I’m leaving, Elvis. For my sake and for yours,” you breathe out. Your heart threatens to shatter at the words.
“The fuck you are,” he flips back at you.
“Excuse me?” you huff.
“You ain’t goin’ nowhere, honey,” he points at you sternly.
“That’s not up to you,” you sputter, blinking rapidly.
“The hell it ain’t,” he glares.
Elvis’ eyes flash and he advances towards you. Your heart thunders in your ears and you counter backwards until he has your back against the wall. He grabs your chin with his hand, his rings cutting into you.
“I thought I fucked some sense into you last night, but it seems I fucked it out of you instead,” he purrs dark and low, but it is laced with threat.
You hold back a groan at his words. The sound of his voice and the look on his gorgeous face as he rakes his eyes over you sends both dread and heat through you all at once. You should have known he’d put up a fight. This is why you’d wanted to leave right away. Resisting him feels insane and futile.  
“E, Red knows. He caught me coming out of your room this morning, and I just know he’s gonna make trouble,” you ramble out, trying to skirt around him. He boxes you in with his arms.
“Fuck Red. I’ll take care of him,” Elvis spits, eyes flashing but barely giving it a second thought because his sole focus is you. Then you see him eyeing his scarf around your neck. Wordlessly, slowly, he unties it, his calloused fingers brushing the skin of your neck and making you shiver. “Now tell me why you’re really leavin’, honey,” he commands, but the lilt in pitch betrays his sensitivity to those who know him well enough. And you do.
Oh, god, the way his smokey eyes bore into you, intoxicate you, has you frozen and your mouth dry. All the words you prepared to say are gone in an instant. You can’t tell him everything (you can’t), but his hurt and his need to dominate you because of it drives his actions, and you know he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.
“Hmm,” he shakes his head, a darkness overcoming him. “Guess I gotta find another way to get it out of you. Give me your hands,” he orders. You are caught in his gaze and feel powerless to deny him. Begrudgingly, you obey, holding out your hands.
You watch as he ties one end of the silky scarf to your left wrist. It’s tight, but not uncomfortable. Your brow furrows in confusion as he pulls your arms up, and it is then that you notice the bar, which must be used as a clothing rack, attached to the wall above your head.
Your eyes widen and your heart thunders in your chest. “Elvis, what’re you doing?” you squeak out as he wraps the scarf over the bar and attaches it tightly to your other wrist. Your arms are loose and your feet remain planted on the floor, as the bar is not that high up, but you are effectively trapped.
“Well, honey, you keep tryin’ to run away from me and I need answers,” he glowers, amusement playing under his anger.
“Goddammit, this isn’t funny, let me go!” you say shrilly, yanking your arms but only succeeding in making the scarf tighter around your wrists.
“No, you’re right, it ain’t funny at all. Were you just gonna steal away in the dead of night without talkin’ to me?” he asks, the hurt back in his voice.
“No, I…no, that’s not what I wanted…” But it is almost what you did, and he seems to know it.
His eyes flash with realization at your unspoken words, then narrow as he moves closer. You look away, shamed. He grabs your chin again, his rings cold against your skin, and forces you to look at him.
“You are all I’ve been able to concentrate on, ya know that? You’re all I fuckin’ think about. I want you. I want you to be with me. Be with me.” He says it like a pleading promise and a stark demand all at once.
Oh, Jesus, it makes you ache for him in every way. You can feel your resolve crumbling around you, all your reasons for leaving melting into a puddle at your feet.
“We can’t Elvis. We can’t keep doing this. I’m losing my mind,” you say but Elvis has his head buried in your neck now, his lips and tongue dragging across your skin and setting your entire body aflame. Resisting him is like resisting gravity—an impossible feat.
“Why would you do this to me, lil’ mama?” he whispers in your ear, his hand brushing away your hair so his breath tickles against you. The sensation immediately has your body at attention, like a switch has been flipped. Your nerves tingle, your nipples stand at attention with just the temptation of that raspy baritone.
Despite yourself, despite the angel on your shoulder screaming at you, once again, that this is a bad idea, your mouth pops open with a sigh. His other hand cups your cheek as his lips travel over your face, so close that those long, dark lashes brush against you in their wake. This sends another thrill of sensation through you.
It’s agonizing that you can’t touch him, which you know is exactly the point.
Elvis presses you against the wall, and his thumb is dragging slowly over your bottom lip. It takes everything you have to not disintegrate right there and then. The way he makes you feel—it’s like you have no sense of reality when around him like this. He is your drug of choice. And you keep coming back to him again and again.
“Tell me why you don’t want me,” he asks in a boyish whisper, his bedroom eyes deadly serious, filled with anger and hurt and need and lust. All for you. Only Elvis could look so entirely innocent and completely sinful all at once.
His words cut you, as you think he intended. You wish you could make him understand, but your breathing is fast, too fast. You are dizzy from the scent of him, all sweat and musk. He’s dripping with it. Your eyes roll back.
“Dammit, E, of course I want you,” you breathe, “but when we get caught, which we are seconds away from, I’m the one who’s life blows up. I’m the one who’ll have to face the consequences. It all comes back on me, and…I don’t have anything without Jack.” You can’t let yourself forget it.
The way Elvis looks at you now is fierce. He grabs both of your cheeks roughly, his hands like fire against them.
“Baby, you have me, you’ll always have me. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and I’ll take care of you, no matter what happens.”
The sentiment hits you sideways, flooring you. He’s staring at you so intensely you feel completely gone, weak. There is nothing else but him.
“Let me take care of you,” he breathes seductively, nuzzling your nose. “Let me be your everything.”
Oh, sweet lord…
“Elvis…” His name escapes you like a hushed prayer. You are defenseless against him, your heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird, stealing your breath away completely.
The temptation of what he is saying is so strong that you want to give in to him immediately. It’s almost everything you want to hear, which is the problem. You think he’ll say anything to get what he wants. You love him, but you know he’s a master at manipulation—it’s how he’s so damn good at his craft. It’s how he so effectively hypnotizes the masses. You think half the time he doesn’t even realize what’s he’s doing, but knowing him as you do, you know he is too shrewd for ignorance.
But part of you refuses to believe him, what he’s saying, even now. Part of you is still reeling from the pain and the fear of your recently uncovered memories. And the fact is, he is still hiding things from you, and you are still married to Jack.
Elvis bows his head, his soft lips now mere millimeters from yours, his hot breath mingling with the heat of your own. But he does not close the gap. He’s waiting, waiting for you to decide. He’s impatient, nearly shaking with anticipation.
You came here to end it, you did (didn’t I?), but he’s like the sun, pulling you into his orbit. Desperate, you find your voice, doing your best to be strong.
“Elvis, I am still married. You know as well as I do how complicated it is with Jack, and he’s not going to take kindly to this when he finds out. And he will. We both know he will. He’s your friend. You can’t have it both ways, and neither can I. But I can’t be near you without wanting you, so something’s gotta give. That’s why I have to go. That, and all the secrets, the lies…It’s tearing me apart inside,” you plead with him. And I know you’re keeping something from me, but those words don’t make it out of your mouth.
His brow furrows and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head. Then something significant shifts, that dark look clouding his eyes once more.
“Jack ain’t shit. Fuck him. And, baby, I’ll tear your marriage to shreds and throw it in the trash, just like that,” Elvis snarls, snapping his fingers in your face, his endless eyes burning into yours. His vehemence has you shaking, your eyes going big. “I don’t care what I have to do or who I have to pay off. I thought I told you, honey—I always get what I want, and I think I’ve made it quite fuckin’ clear who I want.”
Holy shit.
A shocked beat, your breath held in a pause before it quickens again. Elvis is choosing you over Jack. Elvis wants you to end your marriage for him (or more accurately, wants to end it for you). This means that he is much more serious about this, about you, than you thought. Your heart plummets into your stomach and warmth blossoms over your body. You are both elated and terrified by what he is asking of you. All words escape you.
“Still need a little more convincing, huh?” His lip curls into a smirk, sending a coil of desire into your belly. Pushing you up against the wall, he grinds his hips into you, your arms straining against their bonds. You know now that this is his way, his way of proving to you the truth of his words. A whimper escapes your lips, causing him to grin even more. He has you right where he wants you, which is infuriating and exhilarating.
Elvis gets close, his full lips so tantalizingly near that you can almost taste their pillowy sweetness, but he still does not kiss you, only tempts you as his breath blends with yours. As much as you want to, you do not submit, you do not close the gap, your stubbornness and lingering doubt dampening your near-consuming desire.
All your churning emotions of the past few days keep you silent. Confusion, fear, anger, shock, love—all of it only fuels your passion for him, a love so consuming it eats you alive. But you also don’t want him to have the satisfaction of you giving into him. He’s right: he does usually get what he wants, but that doesn’t mean you have to make it easy on him.
Elvis watches your reaction carefully as he yanks your dress up over your hips. Then he groans, a deep, carnal sound as he grinds into you once more, his arousal evident and the metal of his ornate belt biting against your pelvis. You bite your lip to keep from making the noises that threaten to escape you, but your breathing is starting to become even more labored. There is an element of calculated control in his flaming eyes, combined with power and need. He doesn’t let you look away.
Elvis grabs the back of one of your thighs, pulling it up to his hip, running his hand over your bare flesh from your knee up to your panties, his fingers dancing just under the elastic. You hold back the hiss that wants to escape you. God, you want to touch him, to claw at his bare chest, but the scarf holds you fast and you grip its strong silk for dear life.
When he lets go just long enough to pull the zipper of his fly, pulling out his cock, your eyes widen, then fall closed. You feel as he tugs your underwear to the side, his fingers swiping through your folds. You bite your lip at the feel of his fingers prodding at you so roughly. But with your churning emotions desperately trying to keep your desire at bay, you are not nearly wet enough to take him yet.
“Look at me,” he demands, and you do. You are powerless not to.
Reaching his hand up, he looks you right in the eye as he spits in it, then reaches down to cover his cock, lubricating it fully. You gulp. A shiver of anticipation races down your spine. Taking a long moment to gather more saliva, he spits in his hand again before snaking it between your thighs to smear your pussy with it, watching your reaction carefully. You can’t help but moan at the sensation of the warm slick.
True to his word, nothing stops him from taking what he wants as he brusquely lifts your legs around his waist and enters you with a quick, hard thrust and a deep grunt.
You gasp loudly at how Elvis fills you so completely, both with surprise and with pain of the pleasurable sort. You are so tight, too tight, and while your arousal pools, it has not yet coated your walls, making his saliva the only lubrication to ease the friction. You claw at the silk scarf, trying to push back against the wall in retreat, but he chases you, pausing for only a moment as you attempt to adjust to him. He starts rocking into you, but his thrusts are not gentle—they are powerful, claiming. You continue to hold back the noises that want to escape your mouth, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of hearing your pleasure.
“Why ya gotta be so fuckin’ stubborn, baby? You really makin’ me take you this damn hard to remind ya just who ya belong to?” he growls seductively into your ear as he drives into you harder. Your head falls back onto the wall and your eyes flutter. This shouldn’t be so satisfying, but you can’t deny how it makes you feel, how he makes you feel. Your arousal pools around him at his words, at his audacity, and it gives you away as he slides more easily in and out of you. Then that damn lip of his dares to curl up again into a knowing smile.
His baritone rumbles in your ear as he fucks you more vigorously, each thrust punctuating his words, as if driving them deeply into your body and mind. “I’m not lettin’ you outta my sight after this little stunt of yours, honey, not for one damn minute. In fact,” he chuckles darkly, “you’re going on stage with me for the rest of my shows, starting tonight. Your debut performance.”
You can’t hold back your choked gasp at that.
“You’re all mine now.” Elvis’ hand comes up and wraps around your throat, just tight enough to let you know he means it. “Now, be a good girl and say it for me.”
Your brain fights against him—possession is not love! Sex is not love! it screams at you—and you don’t want to give him this, but you know the truth of it: you are his. You’ve been his for a while now. And you relish in it. You want so desperately for it to be more than that, but you are too weary of denying yourself of the obvious.
“I’m…y-yours,” you gasp out. He fucks it out of you.
The corner of his mouth briefly lifts in satisfaction before returning to his relentless railing of you and his ongoing, heated diatribe: “You’ll stay in my room, my bed, and we’ll fuck whenever we damn please, honey. I don’t care who fuckin’ knows. Let Jack try and come for you…see what happens,” he threatens, grunting as his thrusts become more erratic.
You don’t even recognize the moan that comes from you at that. The fact that he will take Jack head on for you sends an inexplicable rush through your system. The coil in your belly tightens rapidly now, but Elvis is too far ahead of you, too consumed with his lust and his need to claim you as his own.
“Tell me you’ll stay,” he says in your ear. It comes out more needy, breathless, pleading, than you think he intended, which tugs at your heart, telling you what you need to know, at least for now.
You have no choice, not anymore. Neither your heart nor Elvis’ will allow it.
“I’ll stay,” you whisper, finally conceding.
“There’s my girl,” he groans, then plunges in so deep and fast that the wind is knocked out of you. You both cry out as he pulses again and again, filling and coating you with his need, his teeth digging into your shoulder as he climaxes.
You both gasp for breath, him from his release, you from the shock of his words as they settle within you. After a moment of recovery, he unceremoniously pulls out of you, sets you gently back on the ground, and unties your hands. Your legs feel wobbly and your hands tingle with a burning sensation, rubbed a little raw at the wrists. Elvis kisses each wrist softly, making that unrelieved coil in your belly cinch even tighter as he wraps the scarf around your neck. You wince at the pins and needles in your arms as you shake them to regain circulation.
You wait to see what he has in store for you next, but he just looks a little jaded, uncharacteristically making no effort to alleviate your need. He turns and walks all the way back into the bathroom, and you follow silently.
You look at him questioningly in the mirror as he cleans off, that coil in your belly poised and ready, but unfed. He’s never left you unsatisfied before. But you also don’t want to push him right now. Things still feel too tenuous.
He finally acknowledges you in the mirror, looking over your mussed and flustered state and immediately gleaning the reason for your hovering. “Honey…I’ll deal with you later,” Elvis tuts in a reprimanding tone, his left eyebrow raising, his blues still chilly towards you.
He’s being petty, but you suppose you deserve that to an extent. You resist the urge to pout, instead choosing to wrap your arms around his waist from behind, pressing against the sweaty heat of his back. You want him to forgive you, want to be in his warmth, want him to love you as you love him. But for now, you’ll accept the relief of not having to leave him.
Let me take care of you…Let me be your everything.
The memory of his words sends warmth radiating through your chest, even if he just said it to get you to stay. Even if he didn’t really mean it.
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly. And you are.
Elvis doesn’t move for a moment, just letting you cling to him. Then he turns, bringing you close, and he finally kisses you, his pliant lips pressing hard and fierce and wanting against yours.
“Don’t ever try to leave me like that again, baby,” he says, pulling away, looking deeply into your eyes. He is trying, you think, to be as possessive and demanding as before, but the edge of his anger has been tempered, quelled, and has turned into something more imploring. Then, with that quintessentially Elvispuppy-dog look on his face, he blinks slowly and quietly adds, “I need you,” as though just realizing it himself.
And, with that, you realize for the first time that despite all your doubts, despite what he is hiding from you, despite every obstacle that wants to pile against you, the shitstorm that is coming is still going to hit hard, but it will hit you two together.
*
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absorbedbutler · 2 years
Note
dilf! austin butler /elvis?? idk a secret affair between the reader and austin or elvis 🤌🤌 chefs kiss
why am i falling over at the thought of this i’m in a ball on the floor eating my hair ALSO doing this with elvis bc… we know his ass was cheating. i hope this fulfills what you had in mind!
warnings: smut, infidelity, basically manipulation tbh, like sexual innuendos/flashbacks??, age gap (reader is 19 elvis is 34) lil bit of crying, kinda virginity kink, reader is kinda innocent but is somehow a whore? talk about being parents, that’s it i think!
——————————————————————————
the sound of converse soles thudding on the tile of backstage echoed around the low buzz of stage managers and the packing up of equipment, but all that was in your ears was a high pitched ringing and your mind chanting the words “don’t cry, don’t cry” over and over again.
you had tunnel vision, get to elvis and finally be able to talk, be able to breathe. you’d been having an affair with him for about a year. you’d moved out as soon as you could to finally make a life for yourself, but then you met elvis.
you had played your cards right, made an impression. soon he was sneaking you in through backdoors and sending your favorite flowers to your apartment.
you knew he had a wife, but obviously if he was still keeping things going with you she wasn’t pleasing him in the ways you could. the ways he 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥. you knew it was wrong too, but you couldn’t get enough.
reaching the giant door with a shiny gold star with “elvis” in the middle, your perfectly manicured hand (that he payed for) knocked on his door with urgency.
the door swinging open had given you the relief you’d been searching for, you were finally able to see him again for the first time in 2 weeks. your body felt like it was on fire.
“hiya darlin,” his southern drawl sounded like honey to your ears, “what’s the matter?” his large ringed hands went to behind your ears, keeping your eyes on him.
“jus’ really missed you elvis…” you said making your voice as soft and warm as you could while playing with the hem of your pretty blue dress (which his wallet also accounted for)
“none of those tears, alright? the wife ain’t here t’night, y’can stay with me… how’s that sound, hm?” he had leaned down to make what he was saying go in one ear and out the other as you stood there admiring him, eyes glazed.
with a low chuckle, his hands unhooked from behind your ears and reached between your shoulder blades, aiding you into his dressing room.
this had happened many times before, it almost gave you deja vu everytime it happened, the gold star, the pure adoration in his voice, the complete need to see him.
on the other hand you also remembered the white buzz in your ears, waves crashing down on you, his iron grip that would soon leave you with bruises on your hips, needing to be impossibly closer to him, and the feeling of wanting to be utterly his.
“why didn’t you call… i really did miss you,” you couldn’t stop talking, you sounded so pathetic, you thought. “i just.. was thinking i didn’t want to be a secret anymore.” you knew the answer he would say, time and time again, you couldn’t, it was too controversial.
“honey, you know you mean the world to me, but-“
“we can’t go public yet.” you finished for him
you knew the answer, so why was the disappointment so apparent in your stomach and why were your cheeks burning?
“oh doll, the tears, you’re killing me,” he groaned as he walked over to you and sat you down at his vanity. “there’s just so much paperwork, and damage control the colonel will have to do.”
wiping the tears from your face, you looked up at him, he turned away to flip the radio on, “cant take my eyes off you” by frankie valli filling the air.
he pulled you off the cushioned chair and into his chest, your arms naturally going around his waist.
“you’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of..” he pulled you away from his chest as he cupped your cheeks “you..”
rolling your eyes and giggling you went back to pressing your face into his lacy shirt. the lingering disappointment in your stomach turning into butterflies and a hint of arousal from being held by him and his scent.
his hands trailed down to under your dress where he pinched and gripped the fat that connected the backs of your thighs to your ass. pulling a whine from the depths of your chest.
“poor baby, i haven’t been taking good care of you recently huh?” his voice was dripping with condescension but you didn’t catch it while in the midst of need.
you shook your head slowly and looked up at him as your chin pressed to his chest.
he turned you both around to where your back was facing the wall and started to walk you backwards until you met the cold cement.
the shock of the cold took away your attention from him, so you didn’t notice his leg kicking yours apart and settling itself in between.
“can feel your cunt drooling for me honey, it all for me?” the words made you very aware of the wet spot that was close to seeping through his pants, embarrassing you.
“elvisss, that’s a dirty word,” you said swatting his shoulder. “cant say those things.”
“gotcha honey, an older married man can give your pussy a beating weekly but swearing is where you draw the line.” you began to breathily laugh into him but his hands had gone to the backs of your legs, moving you up and down on his thigh making you groan loud enough you were sure the stragglers in the audience had heard.
“can you take those pretty panties off for me darlin’?” he said lifting you off his leg caging you in with his arms next to you on the wall.
you took your underwear off with such fervor you had to hold on to his shoulder for support which made a short chuckle sound above you.
you felt like a middle schooler with her first kiss, you were clumsy, immediately going back to connect with him, with teeth clashing and moaning into his mouth.
you were about to ask him to do anything, touch you, let you do anything to him. but once again you were moved, this time to the couch, you practically fell into his lap, straddling him.
his fingers tapped on your lips, signaling for them to open, and as you did he slipped them into your mouth, your eyes nearly rolled back into your head as you massaged his fingers with your tongue.
after releasing them with a pop, his hand moved down to your core, gathering slick at a tantalizing pace that made you whine.
“you let any other man see you like this? see what’s mine?” he asked looking down at the scene before him.
“never, only you, only thought about you.” you started to rattle off anything you could say to get him to do any single thing to you. 
“that’s what i like to hear honey.” and with that he was knuckles deep in you, you keeling over forehead pressed to the crook of his neck.
“can never get enough of you, kills me to be away for so long, away from such a pretty little thing like yourself.” every single word he said made heat grow in you.
with his thumb circling your bud and his pointer + middle finger stuffed in you, you couldn’t say a word, he knew how sensitive you were to things, you were so fresh, so unscathed.
you sucked and kissed marks into places where you knew only him and you would see, eager to make him feel even a fraction of what you felt.
“y’so eager f’me? think you can take a little more?” with a few choked sobs you nodded against his neck.
after he pulled his fingers out he stuck them into his mouth, moaning as he did so, “so sweet baby” he would always compliment. 
while he unbuckled his belt and dipped his boxers to let his cock free, you played with his messy hair which was your favorite pass time with him.
“cmon bug, lower yourself.” he said leaning back into the backing of the couch.
the length of his dick, which you had taken many times before, felt meters longer with the position. he let you take your time but you felt his thighs twitch once you bottomed out.
after getting used to it you slowly started to move again, keeping your hands on his shoulders to push yourself up on.
even though your legs were burning you couldn’t stop your movements, he felt so impossibly deep and you felt so full.
it took you by surprise, the still unknown feeling of an orgasm brinking had crept up, but sooner than you had hoped you toppled over onto him, crying out and wrapping your arms around him while he kept bucking up into you.
“get on the floor, can’t make you a momma yet honey, gonna finish in your mouth.” he didn’t have to tell you twice as you pulled him out and scrambled in between his dress pant clad legs to put him into your mouth.
you moved your hand up and down on him, just as he taught you, and you finally felt him release on your tongue. swallowing as quickly as it came.
his hand came to grip your chin, you opened your mouth to show him you had swallowed and he let it go with a soft few pats on your cheek as his head fell back and he sighed.
your head rested on his knee watching him pull his boxers and pants back on.
you stayed there a few minutes with the radio whirring in the back before he spoke up.
“want me to take you for a milkshake darlin’?, put your panties and sneakers back on i’ll get you cleaned up to go.”
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venus-haze · 2 years
Text
Fame (Yandere!Austin!Elvis x Reader)
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Summary: Getting your start among the dozens of other fresh-faced teeny boppers in the 1950s, you expertly navigate your career through the decades, the only one remaining in public consciousness and on the charts–apart from Elvis. With yet another single at the top of global charts, you’re long past that part of your career, hardly thinking about the man who was long ago considered your biggest rival, until you run into him unexpectedly at a party, and he makes it his business to make sure he’s always on your mind.
Note: This is based on an anonymous request and also David Bowie’s song Fame. Reader is gender neutral and no specific descriptors are used. Paragraphs in italics indicate flashbacks. This is set in the 70s because that’s just the vibe I got from the song, and I wanted to write a reader who was more of the aloof and superficial type of celebrity who only tolerates the fanfare and is more interested in the money and lifestyle. Do not interact if you are under 18 or post ED/thinspo content.
Word count: 3.9k
Warnings: This is a yandere fic, so expect dark themes such as obsessive and manipulative behavior, stalking, abuse of power, and some elements of victim blaming, which some people may find disturbing or triggering. Do not interact if you are under 18.
Leaving clubs and parties was one of your least favorite things to do, not because the night was over, but because somehow word would inevitably get out that you were there, and weirdos would hangout at every exit just to catch a glimpse of you. Perhaps they wouldn’t care as much if you weren’t so private and aloof, mostly inaccessible to the masses, but you weren’t about to pretend you wanted to see any of them. Almost as soon as you opened the door to a service exit, hoping to leave undetected, you cringed at the sound of a girl practically screeching as soon as she saw you.
Putting on a forced smile, you hastily signed some of the things shoved your way with nothing more than your initials as you pushed through the small crowd to get to the limo that was waiting for you in the street. You were particularly horrified when a man collapsed at your feet, even more so when you realized he wasn’t moving. Of course, as soon as you flagged someone down to call an ambulance for help, the man stirred, throwing his arms around your legs to keep you in place. Enraged at his audacity, you barely managed to kick him off of you before your chauffeur came to your rescue, guiding you into the limo and locking the doors before anyone got the bright idea to try to join you.
Thankful the windows were tinted, you didn’t bother hiding your disgust as you sneered at the fans banging on the side of the car. You could never imagine debasing yourself like that, going so crazy over someone you didn’t even know. Hell, sometimes you hardly gave a damn about people you did know. From Hollywood to London, you’d earned your icy reputation over the years, and it served you well. People who you didn’t want bothering you left you alone, and those you wanted to talk to considered it an honor when you approached them.
The drive back to your hotel was uneventful, and as you dragged yourself into your room, you figured you probably shouldn’t have gone out that night since you’d be flying from Los Angeles to Las Vegas the following day for a party some friends were throwing. You planned to stay the weekend and then fly out to New York to record a promotional interview for a late night talk show. 
You were at least able to sleep on the flight from LA to Vegas, and slept off the previous night’s party in your hotel room before having to prepare for the next party. There were times earlier in your career when you could party for days on end with limited sleep, but now you had to be choosier about when you partied and who you partied with. The friends who were throwing the party you were getting ready for never disappointed in the past, so you figured it’d be worth attending. In all honesty, you hadn’t bothered to ask who would be there, but you figured some worthwhile people would be available to chat over drinks or whatever else was being served.
The penthouse apartment wasn’t far from your hotel, but as much as you would have enjoyed walking up the street to the party, there’d be no way to do so without the ten minute stroll turning into an hour-long ordeal as you’d be inevitably mobbed the second someone noticed you. Sometimes you wondered if all of those people even cared about you or your career, that it was just the excitement of being around a celebrity that they were interested in–the photo, the autograph, the story, whatever commodity they could get from you. That’s all you were to most people who weren’t famous; it’s why celebrities tended to stick to their own. Everyday people didn’t really get it, and you got to the point where you felt the most normal around other people whose lives were also undoubtedly abnormal from their fame and fortune.
To your relief, you recognized just about everyone at the party, which was full of familiar faces as your friends excitedly paraded you around at your arrival. There was one person, however, whose face you and just about everyone else on the planet were extremely familiar with, but you hardly knew the man personally. Still, when Elvis saw you, he greeted you like you were an old friend, giving you a kiss on the cheek.
You hadn’t seen Elvis in person in at least a decade, the two of you briefly sharing RCA as a label for a few years in the ‘50s, but you were never that close to begin with. He was handsome as ever, though, as he’d undoubtedly matured over time. There was still a familiarity about him as he shared how much he enjoyed your latest single. You hadn’t kept up with his career, in all honesty, as being poised as rivals at the beginning of your respective careers left a sour taste in your mouth at the mere sound of his music for quite some time, but that was long behind both of you. He certainly didn’t seem to hold a grudge as he brought over drink after drink, sticking by your side for most of the night.
“It’s really nice to see ya again, Y/N,” he said when the party began to wind down. “Shouldn’t let it go so long without seein’ each other.”
You were taken aback, hardly considering Elvis a friend before, but the way he spoke, it was as if he’d known you far more intimately. “You know how busy schedules can be. Plus, I’m sure it’s hard for you to get away from Vegas.”
“You’re tellin’ me,” he muttered. “I got things worked out, though. I think we’ll be seein’ a lot more of each other.”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” you said, figuring the alcohol was to blame for his odd behavior. 
“So, how much longer are you gonna be in Vegas for? Maybe you could come to my–”
“I’m flying back to New York tomorrow, or today, actually,” you said, rambling about the late night show interview and other promotional engagements that you’d be busy with for the rest of the week.
“Sounds great,” he said. “Never was much for New York, though. You still live there, don’t you? Near Central Park?”
“West 71st, yeah, I can’t believe you remember that,” you laughed. “Same apartment for all these years. Well, same building, bigger apartment.”
“Ever consider movin’?”
“Sometimes, maybe for privacy, but I love being close to everything. Nothing beats the nightlife there.”
When you bid him goodnight at four in the morning, you’d tripped over your own feet and into his arms, and you made a weak joke about definitely needing to head out. You thought it was kind of him to walk you to the car waiting for you outside, even going as far as distracting the fans who had congregated outside of the apartment building, talking with them and signing autographs as you were spirited back to your hotel.
Unbeknownst to you, Elvis had taken your answer of ‘sometimes’ and ran wild with the slight indication that you weren’t happy with where you lived. Privacy, as you’d emphasized, could certainly be afforded to you at Graceland, nightlife be damned. There was plenty of nightlife in Memphis. You’d get used to it in no time, he was sure of it.
Of course, you felt right at home when you returned to your apartment, never taking for granted how nice it was to sleep in your own bed and not have to travel far to record music or go on talk shows. Everything was so close, so convenient. You could hardly consider living anywhere else. You didn’t have much time to enjoy being at home before you had to leave for your talk show engagement. 
The show in particular was one you’d been on at least half a dozen times before, the host usually asking you softball questions that gave you the perfect opportunity to charm audiences and sell them on your latest music. You looked over the list of questions presented to you while getting your makeup done before going on, gazing over them before approving with a quick nod. 
You stood backstage, waiting for your cue to go on. As soon as you heard the host announce your name and the house band begin to play, you walked out, the friendly yet distant smile you’d perfected over the years painted on your face to the fanfare of the studio audience. The host greeted you with a handshake, and you sat down in the chair next to his desk.
“Y/N, every time you’re on here, ratings go through the roof,” he said. “You’ve been in the business for 15 years now, and people can’t get enough of you.”
You smiled, that much was true. By keeping your personal life as private as possible, the air of mystery surrounding you was magnetic. You were never a celebrity with a lot of drama attached to you, so whenever you did much of anything, people waited with bated breath to see what was going on.
The interview was going smoothly, until, oddly enough, the host brought up Elvis of all people. His comments and jokes confused you, though the audience seemed to be in on it. 
“What are you getting at?” you asked.
“You can’t fool us now, Y/N. The people at home are dying to know the details, how long have you been dating Elvis Presley?”
Suddenly, you felt like you were fresh in your career again, when you could hardly get through an interview without someone mentioning Elvis. Your chest tightened upon being presented with the photos, which you had no doubt would be blown up for home audiences so that they too could see you chatting up Elvis, drinking with him, and finally cornering him for what looked like a passionate kiss. 
You weren’t sure how to respond, not expecting the normally friendly host to divert from the pre-approved questions that he was supposed to be asking. A million thoughts ran through your mind, including how you didn’t notice any cameras around or how the hell you could convince people it wasn’t what it looked like. There was no point in trying to deny it, especially not on the spot like that. 
“I don’t kiss and tell,” you answered coolly, hoping your bored expression would conceal your rage at being publicly humiliated. 
You blazed through the rest of the interview before storming into the green room, demanding a direct line to the International Hotel. Sure, the poor sap who was on the receiving end of your ire probably didn’t deserve it, but you wanted to make it clear that you weren’t going along with whatever Elvis was trying to pull. You wanted to laugh at the fact that you had felt bad for disliking him for so long. 
When you watched the interview later that night, you felt tears well up at how stupid you looked, from the photos to the host’s commentary after your interview. Who the fuck is he to do that to me? You made a mental note to never go on that talk show again, but most pressing was figuring out what was going on with Elvis. You had a busy schedule through the rest of the week, but you managed to move some things around so you could return to Vegas and confront him.
Even though you hadn’t publicized your intentions to go to the International Hotel that night, no one among Elvis’ entourage seemed particularly surprised to see you. In fact, it was almost like they were expecting you as you stormed past just about everybody to get to the man himself’s dressing room. Without so much as a knock, you barged in, all of the pent up anger and humiliation you’d felt the past few days coming to a boil upon seeing Elvis.
He was clearly unbothered as his face lit up upon seeing you enter. “Darlin’, what’d you think of the show?”
“Are you insane?” you raged, slamming your palm against the vanity. “I can deal with rumors, I’ve had plenty of rumors go around about me, but to stage photos that make me look like the instigator? I don’t know what your end game is, but I swear to god Presley–”
“C’mon, darlin’, after seein’ you the other night, I knew we should’ve been together from the start,” he said, too calm and collected for your taste considering how angry you were. “I’m just settin’ things right. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you. Remember? At RCA’s New Year’s Eve party?” You didn’t show the recognition he’d hoped for, as he huffed when he had to elaborate. “1956 into 1957, you’d just released–”
“My debut album,” you whispered.
New York - December 31, 1956
There were definitely places you’d rather be spending New Year’s Eve than at RCA’s party, where even with the open bar you had to keep up appearances for the executives and their families in attendance. The party marked the end of a record-breaking year for the label as they brought on as many up-and-coming rock n’ roll musicians they could squeeze corny love songs and covers of covers out of. After a few weeks of well-charting singles, your debut album released to much fanfare and unprecedented sales–except for your label-mate, Elvis Presley. Even during interviews for your own damn album he somehow came up, and you had to do your best to politely steer the conversations back to your music. 
Rumor had it he would be at the party that night, but you hoped he wouldn’t show and steal the spotlight from you. While you liked getting attention from important people, signing autographs and taking photos with crying fans was the bane of your existence. By all accounts, Elvis seemed to relish in it, going out of his way for his fans in a way that seemed incomprehensible to you. You hated artists that tried to pull the humble act, finding it in poor taste. At the very least, his music was good and he was extremely easy on the eyes, you’d give him that much.
He did arrive about an hour later, much to your chagrin as the focus quickly shifted to him. You watched with contempt as everyone rattled off the exact same compliments to him that they’d been giving to you just moments before. Regardless of how handsome or talented he was, the last thing you were going to do was humiliate yourself by being a kiss-ass like the other RCA stars did, flocking to him as if being in his proximity would somehow make his success rub off on them.
You kept your cool as you nursed your drink and wandered around the party, making small talk with the other stragglers. All things considered, the as the night progressed, you were enjoying yourself, though you were wondering what your friends were getting up to at their New Year’s Eve party on the other side of Manhattan.
During a moment to yourself, someone called out your name from behind. You turned around, eyebrows raised as you watched Elvis eagerly make his way toward you. When he stood in front of you, he openly stared for a few moments before finally pulling himself together.
“Y/N, I’m sorry to bother ya. Someone mentioned you were here, and I had to find you,” he said. “I know you don’t know me, but I’m—“
“You don’t need to introduce yourself, Elvis. I’d have to live under a rock not to know you.”
A bashful smile appeared on his face. “I hope that’s a good thing. I swear I’m your biggest fan.”
“That’s what everyone says,” you joked.
Instead of the forced laughter you expected, his face grew serious. “Well, I mean it. There’s no one else like you.”
“Thanks,” you said, feeling the pressure of his intense gaze on you. “You too, you’re all anyone talks about.”
“I’m sure you’re tired of hearin’ about me.”
“It’s not you; I promise. I know it’s just weird marketing stuff, the posing us against each other and all that. I think RCA sells more albums that way.”
He nodded. “Good, because you really have a gift for music, Y/N. The last thing I’d want is for you to think I don’t support you.”
He seemed to be laying it on thick the more you spoke to him, and you wondered if it was his weird way of trying to strong-arm you into bed with him. You weren’t impressed with what you perceived as his desperation, especially considering how high up he was in the musical food chain, and came up with an excuse to prematurely end the conversation.
Somehow, you found yourself buzzed and alone during the inexplicably minute-long countdown to midnight. Sipping your drink of choice, you half-heartedly joined in while glancing around the room. Everyone already seemed to be paired up, not that you cared too much about a New Year’s Eve kiss, anyway.
3! 
You looked over at Elvis, who incredibly seemed to be on his own too.
2! 
It’s not like it would hurt anything if you went over and kissed him.
1! 
Pushing your way through the party-goers, you stumbled your way over to Elvis, grabbing his arm. As soon as the clock struck midnight, you sloppily pressed your lips against Elvis’ for a brief moment, giggling a bit at his stunned expression before throwing a wink over your shoulder as you walked away. 
You left the party not long after that, hardly remembering the kiss the following morning, and even less so as the years went by. The two of you crossed paths briefly at RCA events the following year, but then he got drafted and focused on acting when he got back. Around the same time, you broke your contract with RCA to switch labels and branch out in your music to keep up with the rapidly changing state of rock n’ roll. The two of you were hardly in the same social circles, to say the least.
In Elvis’ mind, however, the kiss was everything. You had kissed him, not the other way around, and as nostalgia clouded his memory, the incident became increasingly personal and intimate. A half-drunk peck on the lips had transformed over fifteen years into a profession of love accompanied by a passionate kiss. The reasons why you couldn’t be together would change from time to time, but he had convinced himself you were star-crossed lovers, communicating through songs and veiled comments in interviews. Once you realized this was how things were supposed to be, he was sure you’d calm down one way or another.
“That was fifteen years ago. I didn’t even remember it until just now,” you said. “If you’ve been that hung up on a New Year’s kiss, you need help.”
”It wasn’t just a New Year’s kiss, and you know it,” he argued.
“All I know is that you’ve lost your damn mind, and you better find it before I–”
“Before you what, Y/N? I’ve spent all this time lovin’ you, and it’s like you don’t even care.”
“Because I don’t care! I don’t even know you!” 
He’d been leaning against the wall for most of the conversation, but when he stood up to his full height, you felt yourself wither under his gaze as he approached you. He was no longer the starry-eyed boy you had met at the RCA party nor the rival you harbored resentment toward for a solid two years. No, he was a man with determination blazing in his eyes as he stood over you. If he was willing to stage photos and make sure everyone and their mother saw them, you couldn’t fathom what other lengths he would go to have you.
Still, you had stormed into his dressing room, guns blazing, and you certainly weren’t going to let yourself be run down so easily. You returned his gaze with an equally determined one as you straightened your posture. Neither of you wanted to be the one to fold, to break eye contact or the silence. All you could hear was your heart pounding as you stared at him, and though he folded first, you knew you lost when he nearly knocked the wind out of you by pulling you in for a kiss where you had to steady yourself with his shoulders so as not to fall over. You could hear a faint click behind you, and pushed away from the kiss you had yet to return.
“You’re sick,” you spat. “Do you seriously think I’d want to be with you after all of this?”
Provoking him wasn’t the best idea, considering how angry he looked when you pulled away, but you had to use what little leverage you had in the situation since he had you locked in with yet another photo, one far more damning than the others. He had far more emotional investment in the situation than you, though you now had so much at stake far more quickly than you expected.
He shook his head. “You know they say to never meet your heroes. Makes sense in your case, I swear I’ve never met anyone as full of themselves as you.”
“I have lawyers and PR people who’ll tear you to shreds–”
“For what? Kissing you?”
Your face fell as a smug smile appeared on his. No one cared if someone kissed you without asking. It wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before at public events or parties, and Elvis doing so in his dressing room after you had let yourself in certainly wouldn’t elicit sympathy from anyone. Your general persona was the antithesis of sympathetic, and you were too admittedly too proud to even try to portray yourself as a victim. He played you right into his hands, and for half a second you considered lunging at him.
You inhaled, unsure of how exactly you ended up in such a situation but determined to figure a way out of it. 
“I can be photographed kissing anyone, you know,” you countered, voice shaky as you tried to hold yourself together.
He scoffed in clear amusement, not at all the reaction you had hoped for. “I got you photographed doin’ a lot of other interestin’ stuff too, darlin’. It’s almost unbelievable what bein’ friendly and generous to a few paps will get you.”
Just as you were about to call his bluff, he grabbed a folder from the coffee table in his dressing room and began flipping through it, your stomach dropping as he held up each one, describing what you were doing and when, every photo more compromising than the next. Almost a year’s worth of your most personal life which you guarded so fiercely. It was more than enough to end your career, and you knew he probably had copies stashed all over the place. 
“What’s your plan then? We become fucking Sonny and Cher? They hardly even like each other,” you said, quickly realizing he had little to no rationality that you could appeal to. 
“I got it all figured out, darlin’. You just need some guidin’ in the right direction to get us back to where we used to be.”
There was no point in arguing with him that there never was an us or we to begin with, just a stupid New Year’s kiss you gave him at a party you didn’t even want to go to fifteen years prior. He probably already had a retort to every protest you could possibly hope to come up with, like the promotional engagements you had planned leading up to and after your newest album release, or the fact that you lived in New York and he in Memphis. Over the years, you’d receive truly disturbing pieces of fan mail from people you could only assume had been stalking you. You began to wonder if any came from him.
Taglist: @eliseinmemphis @crash-and-cure @kittenlittle24 @im-lame-irl @loudwombatmugkid @rxsesss @roseymary04 @queendelrey @jovialladyaurora @positivitylane112 @moonknightswif3 @holy-minseok @datsavageavenger @21bruhs @luckyevansstan @djsjs13949 @butlerslut @ash-omalley @powerofelvis @sad-bisexual-bitch @peachy-deaths @kibumslatina @adoreyouusugar @raefoxiegirl @donnamarie23 @ilovehobi101 @memphis-menace @animeketsu-yander​ @phhistheloml @dkayfixates 
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oceanasky · 1 year
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Just finished season 2! It was amazing. I was prepared to fast forward through most of the teen bits like I did in season 1, but I quickly got sucked in.
I liked that they showed Joe has a little bit of darkness with the flashbacks of him in high school, it sets him up the possibility he’ll be able to meet Georgia on more equal footing.
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Although Georgia says “I think of everything,” I honestly believe she didn’t really see Joe that way. For her, he was a symbol of hope. He was everything she wanted for her own kid. When they meet again, she cares about him, flirts with him, and manipulates him, but I don’t think she views him as a legitimate option. Whenever they have a moment, it freaks her out. She thinks he’s too good for her and, on some level, still sees him as that boy at the rest stop. But now that he’s been honest about his feelings, and she had her strong reaction to Cynthia sleeping with him, I think a seed has been planted. Even if she insists that “love isn’t enough.”
Zion is her penguin in part because she resents him on some level for getting to have his life. He got to explore and grow up and she set him free to have that, but it makes it hard for them to be together. He has grown into the best dad though and is so good with Austin. Also, Simone is lovely and a healthy choice for him. Although I was worried when they explained she’s a criminal defense attorney....
Gil is terrifying. All the garbage he dripped in her ear about how she’s worthless spoke to her deepest fears about being trapped by her past.
She sees Paul as her knight in shining armor and she loves the idea of him and all he represents--she enjoys calling herself the mayoress--but he resents the way she’s a force. His “I won’t be disrespected in my own home” was a major warning sign for me. He loves Georgia, but her secrets horrified him (honestly, fair) and he loves his image and his political career.
Anyway, I hope they have a season 3 and that it ends with Georgia somehow getting together with Joe for keeps.
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mrsevans90 · 3 months
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Puppy Love
Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 10
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Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?
Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 
Warnings: smut (oral/m receiving), talks of period intercourse, detailed PTSD flashback, graphic death of character discussed, self-deprecating talk, language
MINORS DNI! Must be 18+
I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 
This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.
A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 
Author's Note: This is a heavy chapter--- Big time PTSD flashback so consider yourself warned! Also, I purposely chose to not use characters in the flashback from the movie Sand Castle. I just didn’t want to kill off anyone’s fave character, so we are going to pretend this flashback was another mission from another deployment right before Sy retired not related to the movie. It was just easier for my conscious to write it that way. 
Part 9
All night long I have nightmares about the war. I wake and try to reset myself like the therapist taught me with deep breathing, water, change of environment, etc.; but nothing is working. I maybe only get about 2 hours of sleep total and I’m exhausted. I still go on my run to try and exhaust myself even more so that maybe tonight I will pass out into a dreamless sleep. I try to fake enthusiasm for whatever Nana is rambling on about in her phone call to me on the way to work but I’m sure she can tell that I’m starting to spiral. Alex can tell that today is one of those days so he asks me if I’m good and when I grunt at him he keeps his distance. God, I’m an ass but I’m obviously not good and I just can’t talk to him about it. Nobody really understands except the boys that I was with when it happened and several of them are dead now. I’m supposed to be their leader and I feel like I should have my shit together. My nightmares continue to worsen throughout the week and I feel like I overcompensate by working harder or exerting myself in more difficult physical pursuits in hopes of tiring my body and my brain out. I forced myself to run four additional miles on Friday even though my leg quickly protested. I focused on pushing through the pain and ended up having to ice my leg after work.
Friday evening finally rolls around, and Emma shows up at the house as planned with a little overnight bag in tow and homemade banana pudding. I’m cooking us some chicken and veggies out back on the grill when she arrives and I feel like I calm a bit just being in her presence. She still looks absolutely adorable as she shows up wearing comfortable clothes-a tank top and soft shorts. I love that she’s feeling relaxed enough with me to just be her most authentic self. After we eat, I fill my belly up with her decadent dessert and I swear I see stars. She’s quite the chef; as if she needed any more of a direct line to my belly or my heart. Assuming she’s still on her period, I ask her if she’s feeling alright and she nods but doesn’t offer more. I suggest we get in bed and watch a movie and she gleefully agreed. We get all cozied up in bed and she chooses a rom-com to put on. Not my first choice, but I’ll do anything to make her smile like that. It’s nice having someone other than myself warm my bed. We fall asleep easily tangled in each other and I’m relieved that I have no nightmares. Maybe Emma is the cure to my nightmares? Or did I really succeed in tiring myself out enough that I slept too hard to dream. Either way, I’m not complaining.
Saturday morning. I wake up at my usual time and smile to myself at finally getting a decent night of sleep. I lay in bed watching my girl dream before I decide to get up and go for a run. If it’s the exercise that helped me sleep last night, I’m not going to miss the opportunity to do it again. I leave a little note on Emma’s nightstand and decide to only run two miles today so I don’t fuck up my leg more than I probably already have. When I get back home, Emma is still a mess of hair and sheets and I can tell that she never missed me. Her hair is halfway across her face, one of her breasts is almost spilling out of her twisted tank top, and the covers are tangled all in her legs which brings a smile to my face. For someone so effortlessly beautiful, she’s kind of a mess when she sleeps and I can’t help but find that to be one of the most endearing things ever. I attempt to take a quick shower and am surprised when ice cold hands wrap around my stomach as my eyes are closed under the spray of the water and I jump like a cat. 
“Damn woman! Your hands are ice cubes.” I say as she laughs uncontrollably.
“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She says as she hugs me from behind. 
“I woke up and heard the shower running so I figured you wouldn’t mind if I joined you.” 
“Always, join me Sugar. My favorite showers are the ones with you.” I tell her as I turn around to see her. She’s got her beautiful hair tied up in a bun on top of her head and I shift her so that the water runs down her body to warm her up. I spy her adjust the temperature higher and I can’t help myself.
“What is it with women taking showers equivalent to the heat of lava?” She smiles.
“We are colder than you are. Gotta warm up somehow.” She presses a sweet kiss to my lips before turning around and washing her body. I can’t help but stand there like a creep watching her but I’ll never turn down an opportunity to see her wet and soapy.
“I hope you don’t mind that I hijacked your shower.” She smiled sweetly.
“Darlin’, I was done anyway. Now I’m just here for the show.” I arch my eyebrow at her as she spies my obvious erection.
“Let me help you.” She seductively suggests.
“I can help us both.” I offer but she shakes her head.
“Still on my period.” She replies without making eye contact.
“So?”
“We can’t have sex when I’m on my period!” She looks completely shocked.
“Says who? You know, sex actually helps relieves cramps.”  
“But..I might get blood on your…”
“Dick? What’s your point?”
“Isn’t that gross?” 
“Sugar, I told ya, I’m a man. A little blood isn’t going to scare me off. Now if you’re not interested because you don’t feel well or you just don’t want too, I have no problem with that. But, if you’re not interested because you think I’m going to be grossed out or something, I promise I won’t be. You can have me anytime you want, Sweetness. There’s no pressure either way. If you’re uncomfortable with it, I won’t mention it again.”
“Maybe give me some time to come around to the idea of it. I’ve never really considered it as an option.”
“Sure thing, babygirl.”
“You are something else, Bear. You mean it when you said I can have you anytime I want?”
“Mmhmm.” I say as her fingertips trail down my abdomen and she wraps her hand around my throbbing cock.
“Can I taste you?”
“Always, but don’t feel like you have too. I’ll be alright if not.”
“I want too.” She says before pushing me towards the shower bench and taking me in her mouth. In no time at all, I’m coming down her throat after receiving one of the best blowjobs of my life. She has my legs trembling from the stimulation and I can’t help but caress her cheek and kiss her gently when I come back to reality.
“my EmKay.” I whisper as I kiss her tenderly.
“Your EmKay?” She asks. 
“Mmhmm.” 
“Funny, I don’t remember being asked to be yours.” She haughtily replies.
“Ya’ ain’t going to make this easy on me, are ya?” Shit, what am I doing. I should have thought this through. She shouldn't want to be with me. The unreal blowjob has me not thinking clearly.
“Now why would I do that?” She retorts with a smile. I palm her cheek so that she’s looking right at me.
“Will you be my woman?” I ask seriously. Fuck it. Why not?
“Only if you’re my man.” 
“Well, I’ve been told that I’m a bear, but I’ll be your man too.” I joke before pressing my lips against Emma’s in a feverish kiss.
As the water gets cold, we finally climb out and get dressed for the day. I decide to take Emma out for breakfast at the diner in town before we go in search of furniture for her guest bedroom. Her parents are arriving next weekend and it was adorable when she shyly asked me if I’d be willing to meet them. I assured her that I’d be happy too and to just let me know when.
We spend a few hours at the furniture store where Emma purchases a matching bedroom set before going to a mattress store and trying out all of the mattresses to determine which would be a good purchase for her guest bedroom. They are able to deliver it same day which is nice so we pick a time for it to arrive that afternoon. We then head to a department store so she can pick out curtains, bed linens, and other odds and ends that I’m told a room requires like lamps and decorations. Being a single man for the majority of my adulthood that was mostly away in the military, I didn’t realize how much work women put into buying all of this shit. Why does she need the guest bath towels to match the hand towel in the bathroom? Or all of the little knick-knack items she bought to go on the dresser? I’m even more confused when she was discussing bed trains? No bed skirts. I’ve slept on friends couches without even a blanket but she’s really rolling out the red carpet for her parents. It’s a bit concerning if they are expecting all of this from their daughter who has lived here for under two months. Maybe they don’t expect it and she’s just trying to show them that she’s a capable adult who plans on settling here. I watch as she spends a small fortune trying to get everything in order for their visit. It’s obvious that she values their opinions. What if they don’t like me? I’m certainly different from the preppy type of guy that they’re used to seeing her with. I’m kind of rough around the edges and although I think I’m pretty smart, I certainly don’t hold advanced degrees. I’m broken from my thoughts when Emma asks my opinion about curtains. It’s sweet that she wants my opinion but I’m a fish out of water when it comes to decorating.
We load up all of the stuff and head back to Emma’s house where I get started hanging curtains as we wait on the furniture and mattress delivery. Emma orders us pizza and we munch on pizza and beer for a while. I’m regretting all of my additional workouts after I finally get the bed put together and the mattress put on it. Emma tried to help but she’s so little I didn’t want her to hurt herself so I ended up just man-handling it myself. She had washed the new bedding and put everything together before we took a look at it and she dove across the top of the bed. Emma patted the space beside her and I laid down next to her on top of the comforter. 
“I’m fucking exhausted and I didn’t even lift the heavy stuff.” She exhaled.
“I didn’t realize it was so much work to put together a bedroom. You sure know what you’re doing though.”
“Thank you. I just pick what I like. I couldn’t have done it all without you though, so thank you, baby. I can’t wait to have them visit and see that I’ve got my shit together here. That I’m not some dumb kid who needs rescuing. I’m able to handle myself.” Ahh, so I was right about that. It’s about proving herself to her parents.
“I think they’ll be impressed, Sugar. I know I am.” I smile at her before yawning.
She kisses my lips before scratching my beard gently. 
“Can we go back to yours, shower and then go to sleep? I’m dead on my feet.” She asks as she stands up and fluffs the new pillows. Why are there like 5 pillows that will just get thrown on the floor? Seems wasteful.
“You still want to come back to mine with me?”
She nods. “I want to be with you and the pups. Since they are at yours, it wouldn’t make sense to get them and come back here. I always sleep really good with you…Unless you’re too tired for a sleep over.” She says sheepishly and I wrap my arms around her.
“Nothing could be better than having my girl in my bed with me.” I tell her because I’m beginning to believe it’s the truth. “Let’s go.” 
We turn out all of the lights and lock up before heading back to mine. Emma’s car is still parked out front from where she left it and it makes me happy that she wants to be here with me. There’s a summer storm approaching and the wind has picked up which has Emma’s hair twirling in the breeze. I pull the patio cushions inside when I let the dogs out to do their business. After a quick shower because we are both too tired to do anything but clean ourselves, we do our nighttime routines before climbing into bed. Emma snuggles next to me with her head on my chest and I’m confident that it’s going to be a good night as we drift off to sleep.
It’s hot, but more than just hot. It’s sweltering. I can feel the sweat rolling down my chest and my back. It’s the type of unbearable heat that has your clothes sticking to your skin the instant you walk out of the mess hall. Then you add your gear, and the added weight from your gear plus your sweat soaked clothes is a certain feeling that I’ll never forget. I smell the smoke of an explosion further in the distance. We have our orders and it’s my job to lead our special forces team in to execute our orders exactly like planned. The problem with that is that most things never go as planned. It would be easy for this to be a cookie cutter mission where we get in and out and go back to base and fuck around for the rest of the afternoon. No, this will require me thinking on my feet at every turn. It’s what I’m trained for, hell, I’m the best which is why I’m the captain. I’ve got seven men with me whose lives rely on me assessing our situation and giving correct orders. They are sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, and friends who have people waiting on them at home. Each order I give is weighted by the knowledge that I’m responsible for them. We’re crouched in different positions behind the old dilapidated building that the informant said our guy would be in. The sun is glaring across our faces but we’re in the best position we could be in for this mission. We’ve been after this specific hostile for months and never been this close to him before. We can hear men inside the building, yelling in Arabic and moving around so we must remain completely silent. If we can hear them, they could hear us. We are ghosts that can’t be seen or heard but must work as a team for this to go smoothly. If one person spots us, it will turn into a close-range gun fight that I can’t imagine we will all win. I inhale deeply and even though there is dust on every inch of myself and the ground, I try to focus my thoughts. 
As I am about to give orders to direct my guys to move on to the next step of our plan, I hear the tell-tale whistle of a bullet zipping through the air. I swivel to the left with my gun and look for the insurgent. I can’t see anyone but the bullet buries itself in the left shoulder of Waites across the way from me. We were fucking set up. I swing my gun back around and that’s when it happens, I hear the bullet and feel it explode into my lower left thigh at the same time blood spews from my friend, Goodwin’s head who had crouched beside me when I stood to look for the shooter. My leg gives out and I instantly drop down into the dirt to where I’m level with Goodwin’s face and it’s obvious, he was killed instantly. His eyes are still opened and he has a massive wound to the head. Anthony. Fuck. His girlfriend is expecting a baby girl in a few months. My leg is burning from the inside out but my adrenaline spike helps me ignore the pain and I grab my gun and instantly start shooting towards the rooftop where I believe the sniper might be. I hear Brown screaming before I realize he’s got Waites against the building and is yelling into the radio for help. I watch as insurgents start coming out of the building we were casing and I start taking them out. Lowell goes down. Setas is either hurt or attempting to provide aid to Lowell. I can’t tell but I never stop shooting. Ramirez is also trying to find the source of the ambush with his own gun. Bullets are flying, many from my own gun as I empty the clip into the only building the sniper could have been on, Browns pleas for backup, along with Waites heavy gurgling breaths fill my ears. I feel a hand on my arm and flinch.
            “Austin! Captain…Captain Syverson. Look at me.” Two hands on either side of my face help me focus in. “St..Stand down. You are safe, the threat has been eliminated. Your superiors have given orders to return to base for further instruction. Do you understand?” 
I blink against the water that’s dripping down my face. Emma?
“My men. The injured men in my unit. Where?”
“They are at base getting medical. Captain, I need you to confirm that you understand me.”
I blink and then nod slowly. “Roger that.” I mutter distractedly. I look around. I’m in the backyard of my house, leaning against the brick exterior in my underwear. I have my pistol tucked in the back of the waistband of my boxers and I’m wearing the boots I leave by the back door. In my hands I’m clutching my old hunting rifle that I keep on the top shelf of my closet. Shit. I’ve done it again. I’ve had a PTSD nightmare, but this is so much worse because Emma is here to witness it. I look over at her. She’s crouching on her knees in front of me wearing nothing but my water-soaked t-shirt and panties while she’s barefoot in the mud. Water is dripping from the ends of her hair from the rain that’s pouring down on us. She looks terrified and concerned. 
“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” My throat aches either from unshed tears or maybe I was yelling earlier.
“Austin, baby, are you back?”
I nod. “Emma, I’m so sorry.” I mutter as tears mix with the rain that drips down my face. This is what I was afraid would happen if I got close to her. If I let her in. I would relax and then my past would quite literally present itself.
“Baby, don’t be. You’re okay, we’re okay.” She tells me as she reaches towards my face that’s now aimed at the ground.
“Aika?” 
“I left her inside. I know you said she could help but I wasn’t able to tell if your rifle was loaded and I didn’t want her startling you and there being an accident.” 
Jesus. She was afraid I’d shoot my own dog, because she’s right, I was nowhere near my right mind. Here we are over six months since my last flashback yet this was the most involved PTSD episode I’ve ever had. Thank fuck I keep my ammunition locked and separate from my guns for situations like this. 
She stands and reaches to help me up but I can’t let her help me stand. My leg feels as though it has been shot just yesterday but that could be a result of me crouching on my knees in freezing rain outside in the middle of the night, not just the psychological pain from my flashback. 
“Come on baby.” She takes the rifle from my hand and I don’t protest. I follow her silently back to the house. The air conditioning on our soaked skin has both of our bodies covered in goose bumps. Aika bounds to me whining and crying and I sit down in a chair from the table and run my hands through her thick fur. I bury my face into her back and focus on breathing. My palm clutches my leg that’s radiating phantom pain from where I got shot. Emma appears next to me with a towel but hesitates. 
“Can I help you clean up a bit?” She gestures with the towel.
I nod and she leans down and starts wiping the mud off of my legs. 
“Sugar, I…”
“Baby, nothing needs to be said. I’m okay, and you are going to be. Would you take a warm shower with me?” I look at her and want to just burst into tears. How is she so kind and understanding after what I just did? After what I could have done?
“Please?” She urges and I nod. I follow her to the master bathroom and watch as she turns the water on. Aika stays close and sits down behind me in the bathroom floor. I have no idea what time it is in the night or early morning or how long she’s been awake dealing with me. Emma pulls out two fresh towels for us and then whips the sodden shirt off of her torso before removing her panties. She looks at me and then slowly and gently eases my soaked boxer briefs down my legs before taking my hand and pulling for me to get in the shower. Once I step in, steam surrounds me and I take a deep breath. I’m exhausted, flashbacks always take the energy out of me and it’s not like I’ve been sleeping great this past week. Emma begins lathering a wash cloth with soap and gently starts cleaning me. I stand there perfectly still and let her do what she wants as I attempt to think of anything that I could say to make this situation better. I’m aching with embarrassment. Once she washes me, she quickly washes herself before turning around and caressing her hand on my cheek. She leans down and picks up my wrists that were laying limp by my sides and wraps them around her waist before putting her own around my neck. My eyes are aimed down focusing on the suds swirling around the shower drain.
“Baby, look at me.” She says with the sincerest and worried look on her face and that’s when my resolve breaks. I bury my face into her neck as the hot tears stream from my eyes. I can’t seem to stop them and I ache when I hear myself let out a sob that sounds so painful and broken even to my own ears. Emma tightens her arms around me and guides me back to the bench that we once used for a much different form of intimacy. Emma curls herself around me and holds me tightly while I fully break down. Once my breath starts to come easier, I carefully pull my head from her shoulder and try to clean my face up.
“Let’s dry off and lay down.” She says as she turns off the water and starts toweling me off. I gently take the towel from her, not wanting to be babied but not wanting to seem ungrateful. Once we dry off, Emma hands me some boxers and she tosses on a dry shirt and panties on before we sit on the bed. It’s silent and I feel like I have to say something.
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be thinkin’ but I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I woke you, scared you and I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I completely understand if this is the last time I see you.” I say quietly and she looks shocked.
“Austin, I’m not going anywhere. This is what relationships are about. Holding each other through the good and bad. I’m not scared and you’re not fucked up. You’re haunted and although I don’t know the details of it, I want to help you through it. Even if you don’t want my help, I’m not leaving you.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I should be better. I survived, Damnit! I shouldn’t have any problems. Goodwin, Lowell, Waites, they are the ones who died. I just got shot in my stupid fucking leg after leading them to their deaths!” I sob.
“You are allowed to have problems. Their deaths are hard on you but you are not responsible for it. I don’t know what happened, but I know it’s not your fault.”
“The informant set us up, we were ambushed. Goodwin, God. Goodwin got shot right in front of me. I watched the life drain from his eyes. He has a little girl that he’s never met. If I had questioned the mission from my superiors or done more digging on the informant, they would all be alive right now. I had to look at their family members at their funerals and I’ll never forget the grief from their loved ones. Goodwin’s pregnant girlfriend, Lowell’s widow, Waites’ mom. I still see them sobbing over their caskets in my mind. I didn’t deserve to live when they didn’t get too.” I finally say out loud. I take deep breaths attempting to calm my body from going into another spiral.
“Bear.” Emma reaches for me.
“It’s been years and I still get like this. Hell, it might be getting worse. I don’t think this is something I’ll just get over. I’m too fucked up, Emma. You deserve someone who doesn’t have these types of demons.” My eyes blink heavily.
“You are not fucked up. I deserve you because you treat me better than I’ve ever been treated before.” My eyes droop and I know it’s a result of the flashback. When I have them, my body goes through the trauma all over again so when the adrenaline finally stops coursing through my body, I basically crash.
“Love, you look exhausted. Can you try to sleep for me?” She asks and gently pushes for me to lay down. My head is resting between her breasts as she lays back on her back. We’ve never laid like this before but it’s comforting.
“I’m right here, I’m not leaving. Aika’s here and so is Mills.” She tells me while caressing my head but my eyes are already closed, too heavy to fight staying open longer. I wrap my arm around her waist and within moments, I’m deeply asleep soothed by the steady rhythm of Emma’s heartbeat as she caresses my scalp.
Part 11
Taglist: @shellyshellshell, @henryownsme, @caramariehurst, @beck07990, @mollymal, @kingliam2019, @syversonswife, @identity2212, @starfirewildheart, @hannah9921, @wa-ni, @kneelforloki, @cutedoxie, @enchantedbytomandhenry, @foxyjwls007, @geralts-yenn, @courtlynwriter, @corrie1013, @squeezyvalkyrie, @summersong69, @livisss, @mayloma, @uunotheangel, @warriormirkwood
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sidthedollface2 · 9 months
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Third Love
Ch: 3 El Boracho
Pairing: Eddie x Mexican Female Reader
Word Count: 4.3k
Summary: Eddie tries to win over your affection and use you in hopes of getting signed to your dads record company. There's just one problem. Your situationship and a heartbreaking past that threatens to expose the darker side of you.
CW: MDNI 18+ flashbacks, mental illness, smut (fingering, bjs) Modern au Eddie, fuckboy Eddie. Spanish words. Reader with other man (not cheating). Eddie with other girl, gave you a cute lil nickname cuz youre a sweetie. 🍑
Finding a day that both you and Eddie were free turned out to be harder than you thought. He still managed to send you text messages. His sweet Good Morning message brought a smile to your face and his play by play of how his day was going made you feel like you two knew each other more than a weekend.
Your schedule was already tight with zoom meetings and studio time. A particular Rapper had a falling out with the label, stating creative differences and unprofessionalism by the label. In other words the Artist was defying the requests to create a radio friendly track while also claiming his royalties weren't reflecting the millions he was bringing the company. Word Had gotten around that this Artist was money hungry and ungrateful for the success he had attained in such a short time. Everywhere you looked and social media was stretching the truth, and cancel culture was not giving up on him.
"Dad, you can't take him off the label. Austin can blend into multiple genres, right now the rap world thinks he's a clown. But If i can convince him to cut his hair and do this Nirvana cover set the rock world will embrace him with open arms."
A sigh leaves your dads lips as he looks out from the 13th floor of his office. Tall glass windows brighten the room, L.A. traffic and high rise towers surround the building. You sit on one of the many couches where contracts are signed, and famous musicians cheer to their success. Gold and platinum albums cover the walls, a photo of your parents sits on your dads large mahogany desk. Soon this would be your office and you wonder what photos would make it to your desk. A best friend maybe, or perhaps a lover, possibly both.
"This whole Company is going to be your responsibility soon. If you think Austin can turn this around without getting canceled then do what you have to do. But if it fails then the possibility of more failed artists will run this place to the ground, and that'll be on your shoulders."
You thank your dad for trusting you to deal with Austin and assure him you'll be home to cook him his favorite meal, just like how your mom did. You're half way out of his office when his following question has you stopping in your tracks.
"Mija wait. Have you told Sebastian about the contract?"
Almost all the talent you were seeing thought that your Dad was the only person to offer them a contract when in reality it was you. Your dad handled the office work and mostly stayed behind the scenes where lawyers and financial advisers were involved.
You knew first hand how the singers or bands commanded a crowd. How talented or how much work needed to be done to get them to a level where they'd bring a profit to the company. As a band Glass House wasn't ready yet. Sebastian as a front man was incredibly talented. You just didn't have the heart to tell him that his friends were keeping him back.
"They're not ready yet." You replied, closing the door behind you. As you reach the elevator doors and press the G button for the garage, you quickly send Austin a message. "You owe me big time."
~~~~~~~~~
After finding out that Max was your roommate Eddie had asked if she would meet him for coffee to talk about how her trip with Lucas went. Not to get some personal information about you. Nope. That wasn't like him, he would never betray your trust that way. Or would he?
The delicious scent of coffee grounds and vanilla filled the crowded shop. People in business attire stood at the order pick up line, glancing at the names of drinks that had been served. Eddie's tight black jeans and cut off sleeves of his shirt was a stark contrast to the suits and ties that were gathered as he walked up to grab his drinks.
"Since when do you get cold brews Red?" He asked, sliding her the vanilla cream cold brew she ordered. "Since my roommate made me try one of hers." She took a sip of her drink, humming in approval of its bitter but sweet taste. Coffee order, check. Eddie took a sip of his Americano, "You didn't tell me you had a roommate." He questioned. "She's hardly home because of work, and she spends the night with her boyfri–" She cuts herself off and shakes her head. "Sorry, not boyfriend. Actually, that reminds me Lucas wanted me to give you some nerd D&D stuff. Left it at the apartment though."
It was wrong and he knew it. He followed Max to her apartment, knowing it was also your apartment. Hesitancy written all over his face as he walked into your safe space. Bright light filtered through large windows. Planters and hanging pots decorated the space. A money tree with three thick roots spiraled together giving home to large green leaves sat in the corner by another window. He knew Max didn't care for plants so this love of greenery must be yours. He walked over to the bookcase in the living room, it was large and filled to the brim. "These are all yours?" He asked as Max sauntered to the kitchen in search of some snacks. "Nope. All roomies." She replied.
Eddie slowly glanced at the titles, tracing his finger along the spines. He plucked one from the shelf and smiled to himself, A Game of Thrones, book one to a series of 7. You liked fantasy, he thought as he placed the book back in place. "Have a seat. I gotta look for the damn manual in all my junk." Max explained, throwing Eddie a smuckers peanut butter jelly sandwich. "Yeah yeah take your time." He replied, secretly asking for more time to roam through your home. Eddie watches as Max bounces over to her room and he wonders which one was yours. He sat at the couch, eyes wandering every little corner, memorizing the small details of your apartment. For knowing Max as long as he did he knew all her likes and dislikes so it was easy for him to decipher her hobbies from yours. Gaming consoles filled the space under your TV, A Ps5, Xbox, Nintendo Switch, guess no PC games for you. On the wall behind the couch a painting caught his attention. A man Eddie assumed was a warrior, large orange feathers held in place by a thick gold band rested on his head. Armour draped over his shoulders and down the center of his chest leaving his torso and arms bare. Animal leather draped along his waist as a loincloth. Physique sculpted like a God. He carried a curvy woman in his arms, she wore a white dress and a flower in her hair, she was dead and this warrior carried her down a large mountain. At the bottom of the beautiful painting are the words Popocatépetl and Iztaccíhuatl, he couldn't even sound out the words but wrote them down in his phone to google later.
Eddie took steps toward the hallway, his heart beating faster than normal as he stood outside your room. His hand held onto the door knob to your bedroom, this was crossing a line. Invading your privacy like no one had ever done. The bed you slept in at night, that housed your nightmares, all your delicate clothes and personal belongings just on the other side of this door. Photos of your father and your beloved mother sit at your nightstand where you'd silently cry into your pillow begging to turn back the hands of time for one more minute with her. Detailed notes and revised contracts of future artists litter your desk, a calendar of all your past and future events hang on the wall above. Multiple medications fill the medicine cabinet of your bathroom, antidepressants, anxiety, pain pills and sleep aids to name a few. Medications that no one knew about except your father. Small beads of sweat gather around his hairline as he thought of entering without your knowledge. He tightened his grip on the door, his breath deepend causing his chest to visibly rise and fall. The thundering beat of his heart heard loud through his ears, blocking out the good vs bad thoughts if he were to enter your room. If Eddie entered your room, all your deepest secrets and pain would be delivered to him on a silver platter. Your Mothers passing, your Fathers business, your brother's trip to your family's homeland, the mere fact that you had a brother. The real reason Sebastian was involved so much in your life, all details about you lay just beyond the door.
A shaky breath escaped from his lips as Eddie released the door. He did want to get to know you, just not like this. Not veiled in deceit and lies.
"Bathrooms over here."
Eddie jumped at the sound of Max's voice just behind him.
"Dammit Red, scared the shit outta me." He chuckled, clutching his chest in surprise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You didn't get home till almost 11pm, dragging your feet up the steps of your apartment. The comfort of your bed softly calls you towards it. The soft glow of the living room brought your mind some sense of peace, you were finally home. You shuffled to your door, eyes drowsy with sleep. Searching for the key to your room, the sound of metal grinding the tile floor was heard as you looked down to your feet, a shiny chain peeked from beneath your shoe. You leaned down and cradled it in your hand, a silver chain with a red and black Fender pick hung from its length. On one side the initials EM delicately carved the surface, and CC on the other. Too exhausted to think much of it, you pocketed it in your jacket and turned in for the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie had called you everyday leading up to your date night. The conversations were usually quick, a hurried 'have a good day' and a 'don't forget your lunch.' It was sort of domestic you thought, but you welcomed it as it made you feel cared for. Tonight Eddie had asked if it was ok to facetime you, which you nervously accepted.
You sat in the living room of your Dads house, when your phone rang the screen came to life as the name 'Eddie' was displayed. You answered with a shy "hello" as Eddie's beautiful face filled your phone screen. His long dark curls framed his pale face and his wide smile brought a tiny flush to your cheeks. "Hey, Princess Peach" he greeted. His deep voice rattled your nerves and the sweet pet name had you smiling into your phone. How was he able to pull a smile from just a greeting you had no idea. Eddie's eyes roamed over your shoulder and you informed him that you were at your Dads house. "I've never seen a house so huge, Quick tour perhaps?"
"Oh, yeah of course." You agreed, getting up from the couch and walking up the stairs. You gave him a glimpse of the foyer from the top of the stairs and Eddie gasped. White marbled floors and a wrought iron staircase circled both sides of the room, in the center a white grand piano gave the entryway a luxurious look. Eddie swallowed, and he all of a sudden realized that you were way above his social status. Your Dad must be a Billionaire if not then for sure a Millionaire. Not even Steve's house, the wealthiest person he knew had a foyer. Shaking the uncertainty from his face he focused on the piano. "You play piano? Or any instrument?." He asked, genuinely curious. You threw your head back and your boisterous laugh echoed in the room. "I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It's just. I was a producer before, and yeah, I can play many instruments." Eddie beamed at the knowledge. You continued down the hall and motioned to a bedroom. "This is my room." You continued walking, not bothering to open the door. "Whoa whoa, I don't get to see where the magic happens?" He chuckled, raising his eyebrows suggestively. You smiled at your phone and bit into your bottom lip. "Maybe after our date, but only if you're a good boy." Eddie's eyes widened at your flirtatious gesture, and he hoped to God you meant it.
"Don't tease me with a good time sweetheart cuz I'll hold you to it."
He smirked and your stomach knotted as he licked his lips.
You dip your chin towards your shoulder and cover your smile with your hand. "Don't get shy on me now baby, I wanna see that pretty smile." He cooed.
When the word Baby left his lips you knew you were in trouble. He looked so pretty even through the screen, prettier than you remembered. The sparkle in his warm eyes, and the crinkles when he smiled made your heart beat a little faster. You talked for hours about everything and anything. From your favorite childhood movies to Game of Thrones, which he mentioned was an amazing show. Your favorite foods which brought you to cook dinner while the phone sat in the corner. His curious eyes watching you carefully cut into various vegetables and beef, all the ingredients needed to make the caldo as you explained to him. Eddie's lips parted as you brought a spoonful of soup to your mouth, gently puckering your lips to blow at the steam that swirled from the hot liquid. He didn't know if his mouth watered at the delicious meal you made or the image of your lashes fluttering closed as your glistening lips wrapped around his–
"Mmmmm, so good." You hummed, interrupting his dirty thoughts.
"Yeah? That actually looks tasty, can't wait to try some." He hinted. Hoping to be a taste tester for any and all cuisine made by your skilled hands.
"Did your Mom show you how to cook?" He asked.
Time stood still. Your eyes focused on nothing as your mind went back to all the times you leaned over your moms shoulder eyeballing spices, and dancing to Vicente Fernandez as she swayed her hips belting out gritos that sounded like a cat dying. You and your brother's coughing fits paired with faux asphyxiation whenever she'd roast chili peppers on the stove. The thoughtful way she'd buy extra hominy for the menudo during holidays because she knew it was your favorite part.
"Peach?"
You blink back to the present as you wipe at a stray tear that escaped your lash line. "Um, yeah. She taught me how to cook." You utter, not trusting the wobble in your voice.
"That's really sweet of her, passing down those family traditions. I don't know how to cook much but I do love to eat." He says, rubbing his hand over his tummy. Eddie carries the conversation effortlessly, not one moment of silence between you. You learn that he's incredibly charming, laughs at almost everything, therefore making you laugh. He's fond of squishmellows and has to stop to look at every one he sees and do a squish test. He's not once brought up anything involving music or the usual, which celebrities are rude and is so and so really that obnoxious or is it an act, something that you're incredibly grateful for.
You're curled up on the couch, phone propped by the throw blanket bunched up over your tummy. Eddie is sprawled out on his bed, chucking pretzels in the air and catching them in his mouth. "That's five in a row." You yawn, eyes heavy with sleep.
"I should let you get some sleep sweetheart, It's late." He coos.
"Can you stay on the line with me? Please?"
"Of course I can Baby."
The sleepiness in your voice gives him a glimpse of what it would be like to sleep next to you. When you finally fall under the spell of the midnight sky, where the only light is bouncing off the glow from your phone, Eddie thinks you're just as beautiful sleeping as you are awake. He falls asleep staring at your cute nose and plush lips, wishing he was there to kiss you goodnight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We're Corroded Coffin, Thank You and enjoy the rest of your night."
Eddie jumped off stage, buzzing with adrenaline and booze as he walks straight to two girls who had flashed him during their set. He walks between them, one arm over their shoulders as he orders enough drinks from the bar to regret it in the morning. Their hands roam the expanse of his body, fingers twirled around his tousled curly hair as they whisper and giggle in his ear. You arrive at the same bar, Max had invited you to see her friend's band play, not for work she mentioned, just to hang out and have fun. It also happens that Sebastian's friends are also on the roster tonight, which is why he walks in beside you, palm at the small of your back leading you to the bar for drinks. While Sebastian orders the drinks you leave his side in search of a restroom. The bartender motions backstage behind these two doors.
You stumble into a room that was rarely occupied. Deep grunts barely audible through the loud blaring music. The bartender at the front mentioned that it was behind these doors so you pushed through and you gasp, body frigid as the scene before you.
"Oh fuck, just like that sweetheart."
Eddie has a strawberry blonde on her knees between his thighs, hard cock shoved half way down her throat, a topless bleach blonde at his side licking into his mouth while his fingers pump into her dripping sex. "Get the fuck out." He seethes, not once looking towards the door.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You spoke as you quickly turned away to scurry out of the room. Eddie's head snapped towards your paniced voice quick enough to see half of your face, and his stomach dropped. "Wait, Wait! it's not… fuck!" Eddie's voice strained as he pushes the girl off his cock. Shoving his dick back in his jeans to chase after you. You were able to make it back to the bar, leaving the restroom for a later time.
Eddie frantically searched for you in the crowded room, cursing himself in the process. He hadn't even take you out on a date yet and he was already fucking up. Afraid you had run out of the bar, he grabbed the nearest stool, stood on it and scanned the room till he found your beautiful face smiling with a group of your friends. He weaves through the crowd desperate to get to you, his rough hand reaching for your elbow. He leans in close to your ear so his words are not mistaken. "Can I please talk to you?" You crane your neck over your shoulder to meet Eddie's pleading eyes. A fake smile on display as you agree.
You follow Eddie outside, stepping into the cold night air. A shiver runs through your body as you stand under the glow of a lamp post. Eddie trails his eyes over the curves of your body. His eyes walk up your smooth bare legs, that he wishes he could touch. The black short shorts accentuate the curve of your hips and plush ass. His lips sting with the urge to kiss the curve of your waist, as his gaze ghosts over your exposed midriff. Eddie swallows as he now realizes your top is see through and your breasts sit perky in your black bra. You cross your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling too naked under his stare. His eyes finally meet yours and he's left speechless at the sight of you. The girls he was with don't even compare to your beauty, yet he agreed to indulge them 1 day before your date was supposed to happen.
"I'm sorry you –. They're not –." A sigh left his lips as his palm roughly dragged across his face.
"They're just a hook-up, nothing serious. I'm so fucken sorry."
"It's ok." You shrug, arms crossed over your midsection for warmth. He takes notice of your shivers and places his leather jacket over your shoulders.
"It's ok?" He repeats your words, brows pinches in confusion. Every girl that Eddie knew would be screaming at him with angry mascara streaks running down their hot cheeks, livid in jealousy. Some would claw and scratch at him begging why they weren't good enough, hitting him and calling him every ugly name in the book. But not you.
You stood tall, seemingly unbothered by what you had seen. Eddie stepped forward expecting you to step back. You stay planted, cautious eyes set on his guilty ones. He would prefer retaliation because the words you would speak would pain him more than a few scratches.
"You're not my boyfriend Eddie, and you're a Rockstar; they're all the same."
You look down at Eddie's hands. His fingers are twitching with the undeniable urge to touch you. The sound of the bar doors open and a tall figure steps out.
"There you are Kitten, I've been looking for you."
Eddie's Jaw clenches at the pet name, and he shakes his head in disbelief. How could he be green with jealousy if not even 20 minutes ago his cock was down another girl's throat.
Sebastian laces his fingers with yours and brings your hand up to his lips for a gentle peck to the back of your hand. You smile at his tenderness, and brush your shoulder against his chest. Eddie rolls his eyes, shooting daggers at his competition. He notices the need in Sebastian's stare, he glimmers with fondness and longing to be something more.
"Who the fuck is she?!" A screeching voice could be heard in the distance, and Eddie tightly closed his eyes, wishing the ground would swallow him up. This was not happening. He was fucking it all up before it even started. Cursing under his breath at the cards that were being played for him. A glance over Eddie's shoulder and you see Strawberry girl storming towards you.
Before she can reach you Eddie stands between you, hands gripping her arms, blocking her from attacking you. Sebastian pulls you behind him and it makes Eddie's stomach churn. It should be him shielding you from this groupie but instead it's his fault shes speaking to you. You try shoving Sebastian away attempting to confront the girl but his tall frame is immovable.
"Stop, just stop Chrissy." Eddie winces at the name. Surely a slip of the tongue. A loud crack is heard, as Strawberry girl's hand meets the side of Eddie's cheek. "It's kristie asshole!!" She yells, storming back into the bar, wobbly legs threatening to fold under her. Eddie's relieved to get rid of her and as he looks back to search for you he comes face to face with Sebastian's hard glare.
"Stay away from her." He orders, as he shoves Eddie's jacket to his chest.
Sebastian jogs back catching up to you, placing his hand on the small of your back guiding you to his car. You wrap your arm around his waist and Sebastian pulls you in a side hug.
Eddie watches at a distance as you both enter the car, Sebastian is seen waving his arms and hands around seemingly in a heated discussion. Eddies about to walk over to you when he sees Sebastian grip the back of your neck as he brings your lips to his in a deep kiss. Eddie has no right to be upset but seeing this man touch you and kiss you has him seeing red. Eddie knew he fucked up but he was determined to make it up to you. Just as Eddie turns his back away, you push at Sebastians chest and when his lips try to chase yours you turn away giving him your cheek instead.
Eddie finds himself back at the bar, drowning in whiskey and coke wondering if you'll find yourself in Sebastians bed. The thought alone churns his stomach, but he has no one to blame but himself. After his 4th drink, liquid courage raced through his veins and therefore the beginning of his drunk text messages.
Eddie: You never tolf me if Sebastan was your boyfriend
Eddie: he actz lik e your boyffiend
Eddie: is he youre fuckimg boyfriend!!
Eddie was right, you did end up in Sebastians bed that night. His warm body curled up behind you, anxious hands caressing and kneading your thighs, fingers gripped your hips pulling you close to rub against his clothed erection. He kissed your bare shoulder, gently moving your hair to the side to place wet kisses along your neck, inhaling the scent of your shampoo that lingered in your hair. The bright glow of your phone stopped him from going further. Skinny fingers punched in your password as your soft breathes deepend, indicating you were now fully asleep. Sebastian looked over the messages Eddie sent you and sadness consumed him. He didn't understand why you couldnt reciprocate his adoration for you. To him you were it, his end goal and the woman of his dreams. He never once looked at other girls, despite having groupies throw themselves at him. He never looked for other relationships even though you clearly made yourself available to other men, sure you two weren't official but he still stayed loyal to you. He told you many times that he would never let you go, he'd wait for you for as long as it took. He types out a message and sends it to Eddie hoping it would steer him away from you.
You: He's not my boyfriend yet, but we do fuck.
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aconflagrationofmyown · 7 months
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You know I hate to ask cause I know it will only hurt me but...how long are you envisioning Elvis living in each story? Captain? Sarge? Big Daddy? I know he is getting happier endings but I'm concerned about the end cause sadly that's the way his story is.
Also I want Gigi to devour Big Daddy and make him so love struck he can't stand it. 😍
I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ASKED.
First off let me say even for fics where it’s either never mentioned or has yet to be established, they’re all true fix its, ok? So, don’t sweat either way.
But more specifically let’s just gab about the AU’s as I’ve figured them out so far.
A Whole Man -the most concerning perhaps? but at the same time it’s set in his life around the real time of ‘69-70 so, healthwise he’s not awful but I’ve given him shit 1800’s issues and a hell of a lot of work, so, bad news. Also a criminal record with a hanging offense. Oops. But, I have this one universe entirely planned and let me tell you the whole story only spans a whole year at most. And then if y’all like, I’ll keep writing either one shots of the future (that suggests he lives, eh?) or flashbacks digging deeper into any back stories yall want explored.
Sarge: I refuse to date when Elvis or Elaine pass away in this one, I can’t emotionally take it and I want them going out together. He nearly dies many times through the 70’s, that stays in the story but he makes a recovery due to many circumstances jolting the man -Angel of a wife or eight kids aside, only Elvis can save Elvis. The more I plan the second generation and grandbabies the more I find myself assuming he’s there for events in the late 90’s at least. Which surprises me, as I still see him as destined to be die young no matter what. But it seems I’m to softhearted for it. Sixty something is still young, I suppose…😣
Gigi: undecided but we shall be buying far far far more time, and when he’s gone? There’s a sensitive young man named Austin who comes knocking on Graceland’s door to see the home of the man he is about to portray and ask his younger widow about him. Is it possible for two people to love a man together who’s been gone for little while now? They don’t know, but they manage it all the same, and somehow, it’s a little less lonely together…
I really love these types of questions, sometimes I’m more than happy to explain my vision I just don’t wanna spoil unless y’all ask. 💋
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superbluebirdgirl · 13 days
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I can't draw to save my life, but I like imagining animatics so here's how I would make a Trobed animatic set to Texas Reznikoff by Mitski
It's beautiful out today I wish you could take me upstate To the little place you would tell me about When you'd sense that I want to escape
This opening part would begin with an exterior shot of Greendale, which then goes to a scene of the inside where a small party is taking place. Troy is there, and so is Abed, who looks overwhelmed with the noise and goes to a corner of the room and sits down. Troy comes over, gently speaks to him, and as he does little speech bubbles appear that show images of fantasy worlds Abed may have seen in a movie/show
Texas is a landlocked state It's a little bit far away From the water, from the home That I've wanted to make It's somehow in the city You make it there And you make it anywhere, anywhere
The scene is torn open to reveal a post-canon Abed walking home through “Texas” (L.A.) looking tired and sad. We also show him working at a TV set and getting a thumbs up for a job well done, and he smiles (unconvincingly).
But I've been anywhere And it's not what I want And I wanna be still with you
We cut to Abed alone in his new house (on a bed or couch) curled up slightly as a soft tear falls down his cheek. An imagined, transparent version of Troy embraces him.
Do, do-do-do, do You keep your socks on in bed Keep our hearts warm See the tree shadows lie in black pools in the lawns
During the instrumental/do-do-do part, Abed hears something at the door. He walks over, and sees the REAL Troy standing there. They intensely embrace and cry. For the rest of this section, we see both men in bed together (socks still on) hands touching. We see, through a house window, the two sharing a first kiss.
You're the breeze in my Austin nights You're the breeze in my Austin nights You're the breeze in my Austin nights
For the first “breeze in my Austin nights”, we see a flashback image (drawn in a more sketchy style) of the two first meeting. For the second one, another sketchy image of the two saying goodbye in season 5. For the final line, a fully realized image of Troy holding Abed’s somewhat trembling frame in bed.
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