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#also because 30-to-40 year old women who are placed in a mother figure kind of role need to be main characters far more often

vikingqueer · 3 years

Text

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

#music stuff #amalie.txt #music recommendations #mika #the mechanisms #the amazing devil #dodie #claudia boleyn #hozier #oh land #oysterband #ben platt

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xxcureangelxx · 3 years

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5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊

okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈

5. What is your favorite Color?

PURPLE

9. How tall are you?

about 1,70 meters or 5'7"

10. What shoe size are you?

size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?

13. What talents do you have?

uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?

20. Are you religious?

Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.

24. Baths or showers?

Shower's because we don't have a bathtub

25. What color socks are you wearing?

currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

28. What type of music do you like?

you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.

32. How big is your house?

compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

No, and I don't want to

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol

39. Do you have any scars?

yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?

41. Are you a good liar?

Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it

44. Do you have a strong accent?

in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

45. What is your favorite accent?

I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...

46. What is your personality type?

honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol

52. Favorite food?

hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes

54. Are you a clean or a messy person?

Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either

60. Do you talk to yourself?

sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up

61. Do you sing to yourself?

barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though

62. Are you a good singer?

I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people

66. Do you like long or shor hair?

this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺

71. What makes you nervous?

Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Yes, very

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime

74. Are you ticklish?

Yes and I hate it 😭

86. What are you allergic to?

again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/

87. Do you keep a journal?

no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...

88. What do your parents do?

making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.

89. Do you like your age?

I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....

90. What makes you angry?

another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..

96. How did you get your name?

I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..

my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.

100. Color of your room?

same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white

phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....

in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see

#ask game #answered #I really really do not have any clue how long this has been sitting in my inbox...#the og post was somewhere around december if I saw that correctly (๑•﹏•)#oopsie...#just hope posting goes through snd my 3 hours of hard work weren't for nothing....#edit; posting worked but tumblr messed up the formating...#I'm not gonna bother fixing that because it's late and I need sleep 😭

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afraidof-thedark · 5 years

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When my older sister turned 19, my parents started looking at me with the deepest pity and grief I have ever seen; like I was going to crumble and disappear at any moment.

I was 16 and listening to music in my bedroom when my mother came to me with a beautiful portrait in her hands. It was of my great-grandmother Eleanor.

“Pat, you know how Eleanor used to say that when she was 18, a she-devil offered her some kind of paradise if she agreed to die immediately, right?”

It was a weird question; whenever my mother had a little more to drink, she’d retell this tale over and over. She came from a long line of spiritual but pragmatic women, women who fought to study and to work in male-dominated fields. Women who also found a good man to marry, women who had everything.

But then tragedy struck in their lives and they would lose a daughter or a niece. Always.

“Yes, mom," I replied, and we recited together: “And she said fuck off, I have 7 siblings to help raising."

And Eleanor did. She worked her ass off to send her younger brothers and sisters to good schools, became a college teacher herself, and kept teaching every new generation of women to be strong and stand up for themselves.

My mother always loved her to bits, and did her best to raise her kids the way her grandmother had taught. Eleanor peacefully died of old age when I was a baby, and overall lived a great, accomplished, loving life.

But grief knocked on her door periodically, as she had to bury a daughter and a granddaughter, both at age 18. My aunt Cecelia died years before I was born, and that took a huge toll on my mother and on my other aunt, Christa.

Eleanor didn’t believe it was a tragic coincidence. No.

She thinks that the same she-devil who invited her to go live in a better place came to claim her descendants.

After Cecelia, there were no deaths.

My sister and my cousins have all crossed the line to 19, and none of them reported anything weird happening to them.

I’m the only female in my family who is still 18.

Despite the fact that I always admired Eleanor, I confess that I thought that she was being superstitious, or even mocking us—she was known for her savage sense of humor. So this conversation I had with my mother had been completely brushed from my mind.

Then today a gorgeous, magnificent woman approached me.

I am a part-timer at a frozen yogurt joint. As you might expect, the small store was empty. The little bell on the door rang, and I raised my eyes to meet a stunning, elegant woman who seemed to be on her early 30s.

She was wearing a simple and unassuming dress, but the fit was flattering. It was impossible to take your eyes off of her.

“Hello, Patricia." Her voice was velvety and melodious. “I see Eleanor’s granddaughter told you about me."

I forgot how to breathe for a while. She was just… God, I had considered myself straight up to this point, but then I had found a woman that I both wanted to be like and have for myself.

“Come on, get yourself some fro-yo on me. Mine will be salted caramel and strawberry, if you please."

I mechanically filled two little cups as she graciously sat.

I stared at her intently.

“When you see Christa, tell her to see a doctor about that persistent headache. Unpleasant surprise on the way,” she said very casually. “So tell me about you, Pat."

“D-don’t you know all about me already?” I asked. She smiled kindly, but the warmth never reached her violet eyes; it wasn’t like they were cold, but they were neutral. Neutral and incredibly sharp.

“I know everything there is to know about everyone on your little planet, darling. But I’d still like to hear your version."

“I’m not actually interesting, you know?” I sighed. “I am only okay at everything. My sister is brilliant and she’s pretty too, while I’m too average and not even sure what I want to major in."

She smiled so brightly I thought I was gonna go blind.

“Don’t you want to be part of something bigger and easier?” she asked. “I’ll offer you a great deal, the same one I offered your ancestor Eleanor, her daughter Bettina, and your aunt Cecelia. You know the results."

“I’m listening," I said. I don’t know the circumstances of their deaths, but I know that both Bettina and Cecelia took the offer.

“Well, take a look around the world you live in. You’re young, but old enough to know. Do you feel safe walking the streets? Isn’t this world rotten? Sure, you can say there are good people; people that mind their own business, at least. But the rotten apples always spoil the whole barrel. And lately you mortals have seen that happening a lot of people you used to deem good, huh?”

“I don’t… feel safe. Two of my friends have been assaulted. I admit sometimes I’m scared to leave my bed," I replied. “Still, I’d feel so bad about how my mother would miss me."

She smiled.

“You’re a good girl, Patricia. I’m Lilith, by the way," she grabbed my hands. “Let me tell you something, although I’m sure you already know this in your heart. All the women in your family are fit for this deal, but I have to choose only one. I chose you because you won’t be missed as much." I recoiled, feeling hurt, but I knew that Lilith wasn’t lying. There was a spark of compassion in her eyes too. “It’s not that you’re not loved, it’s just that your cousins and your sister…”

“Are so much better than me in every sense. I know. I panic easily, I don’t trust my own decisions, and I don’t have any special talent. Sometimes my life feels like such a waste."

“It’s not, dear. It’s not. Because you were born for something greater. Greater than these girls you deem better than yourself. They are fit for this world. You are fit for the Utopia."

“What’s the Utopia?”

“It’s everything there is out there, the only eternal life in the universe, offered to a select few. All the great people on Earth are nothing but a heartbeat. They will fade to nothing, like all the unassuming lives."

“So you mean there’s no heaven and hell? And what about God?”

“Oh, God exists. God created great things. Imperfect, inferior beings like you humans are just the collateral damage of his masterpieces; the residuum of the creation. He never even turned His face to you, or batted an eyelash when we told him our plan. Lucifer and I see potential in you. Well, some of you. Most are truly garbage”.

I was utterly amazed. “Why do you only take young women?”

She smiled again.

“That’s a great question. Lucifer likes to collect men in their 40s, so he can laugh at their moral dilemmas. How will my family live without me, the great provider?? What if Karen marries another man and Cody turns gay because he didn’t have a masculine figure?” She did a great impersonation of a generic middle-aged man. “But I take my girls while they are still beautiful and not completely tired of how unfair this world is to them. I don’t want the morons in your society to make you forget what Eleanor taught you. She knew there would be only nothingness out there after she died, but she opted to stay and take care of her loved ones. It was a bold, admirable choice, and I decided to reward her for it. She was the only one I ever approached to refuse."

“So you can’t both live a great life here and go to this place you call Utopia?” I asked.

“Oh, one usually can’t have it all, no. But I picked two or three of those. Like Marilyn and Cleo. They were almost 40 but still young at heart and completely unfazed by how the world tried to break them. You have to admire that."

“How is that Utopia? Will I like it?”

Lilith snapped her fingers. The walls and furniture around us, and even the street across the door started to fold and fold and fold, like the reality was only a 3D draft, until they became minuscule pieces of cardboard, and then they fell into the infinite under us.

We were now surrounded by a stunning, futuristic place. There was no sense of feeling cold or hungry, we could move by floating around as we pleased, and there were amazing buildings everywhere, decorated with statues of pure white marble and paintings so beautiful I wanted to cry.

I could see colors I never imagined possible, and the sky was always a warm shade of blue, but dotted with stars, and an immense full moon.

Everything was shiny, symmetrical and felt right; peaceful, but far from boring. A perfect, ordered chaos.

“This place is constantly expanding, so you’ll always find new things to do. You’ll never live another tedious day."

She snapped her fingers again, and everything unfolded and rose back into place.

“And if I accept your offer, which I will… can I choose the way I die and do something first?”

“Oh, you have a few days to deal with all your stuff. I’m not a monster, you know?” the she-devil smiled again.

“Great!” I said. “There’s only one thing I need to do before I go with you. I want to kill the man who raped by best friend."

Lilith agreed to allow me to do it, and we talked some more before she left.

And that’s all I can remember clearly. The rest of the day was a blur; knowing that I would die, I wanted to quit my dead-end job immediately, but I had no one to quit to, and I couldn’t leave the store unattended. So I stayed, surrounded by weird ice cream, thinking about what awaited for me.

The she-devil told me that I couldn’t tell anyone I was about to die, but I was allowed to discreetly say my goodbyes. My family was really nice and had taught me a lot, and I had valuable friends, but none of that was reason enough to refuse an eternal life of happiness where I could even be friends with Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe.

I spent some quality time with my loved ones, then two days later, I took my mother’s handgun and headed to see the one who hurt and destroyed my beloved friend, both physically and mentally.

I won’t describe the details of the torture I put him through. I’ll just say that I only stopped when it seemed to me that he went through at least ten times what he made her endure.

And then I killed him.

“Oh, shit," was my only reaction as I realized that punishing this disgusting man felt even better and even more right than living in a perfect Utopia.

It feels like I finally found my purpose. If this world is all that there is, the only thing we can do is enjoy it.

And we’ll only be able to enjoy it if we cleanse it.

I decided to take this mission upon myself.

But there’s only a problem: I already agreed with dying tomorrow.

I signed the contract and now I'm terrified of what Lilith will do to me when I say I changed my mind.

-u/poloniumpoisoning

#reddit #reddit no sleep #nosleep #scary #story #scary story

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hrbloodengutz12-blog · 5 years

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Pregnancy Miracle: Cure Infertility and Get Pregnant Naturally! Review

I’m a 42 year old woman who has spent the last several years of her life looking to get pregnant. So thats why I’m now writing this Pregnancy Miracle Review. Naturally, when things weren’t going my way, I began to turn to some online solutions that would hopefully do the trick for me. No matter how hard I tried however, I couldn’t seem to take care of the problem. I certainly didn’t want to try any infertility drugs because I felt like they would cause complications beyond pregnancy. In fact, I wanted to do everything I could to dodge expensive medication altogether. I spent so much time looking for a solution, and trying so many different things that I thought this would never actually happen. It wasn’t until I found this fantastic program that I could finally shed a ray of hope on having a baby.

Pregnancy Miracle Review

Never before had I ever realized that there were some many bad habits that I was keeping that could have had a major impact on getting pregnant. After reading this book, I feel like my miscarriages were mostly because of my eating and drinking habits. I immediately turned off of these bad habits and turned to the best foods that were recommended in the Pregnancy Miracle book.

But the Pregancy Miracle goes so much further than that. I couldn’t believe how many simple steps contributed to the hardships I was going through to have a baby. Never before did I believe that exposure to regular household products would actually hinder my hormonal production system and actually cause infertility.

Pregnancy Miracle Reviews

Furthermore, I realized that I was way off on my fertility window. This was one of the biggest things holding me back in getting pregnant in the first place. It felt like conceiving too forever before it finally happened. The simple thing I had to do that was written in the Pregnancy Miracle Book by Lisa Olson was something that I had never read anywhere else, and it was the last thing that I expected when it came to determining the best time to try and get pregnant.

Pregnancy Miracle

On top of it all, the Pregnancy Miracle Program seems to realize that conceiving is a goal achieved by you and your partner and they give you some great tips on increasing your man’s sperm count to give you an even better chance.

Needless to say, I did in fact successfully get pregnant, and at 42, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who is now precious addition to our lives. I never could have done it without the help of this book and I’d recommend this book to anyone.

Pregnancy Miracle Book

If you think that it’s too late to have your long awaited child because you think you are infertile, worry no more because The Pregnancy Miracle is now available to provide you with the best natural methods to achieve pregnancy. Having a child is something that would truly bring great joy to the family. Every couple would want to have their very own child but due to some infertility issues, they simply end up losing hope and giving up in their dream. Through the Pregnancy Miracle Book, you would be able to realize that pregnancy despite known infertility is truly possible.

pregnancy miracle

The Pregnancy Miracle book is made by a researcher of Chinese Medicine, nutrition specialist and health consultant. She once thought that she was infertile and would have no chances of having a child until she figured out a natural way to achieve pregnancy. She decides to share her technique and story through the book entitled , The Pregnancy Miracle.

The Features of The Pregnancy Miracle Book The Pregnancy Miracle Book will teach you natural, safe , effective and quick methods through which yu could be able to achieve pregnancy in just a span of two months. This book will definitely help you give birth to very healthy babies without having to worry about taking any medication or drug that would help you achieve pregnancy. If you think infertility is the end of having a child, The Pregnancy Miracle reverses the situation for you. You could be able to realize that those infertility issues can be truly resolved and you could be able to have the child that you have always wanted. The Pregnancy Miracle is a very life changing book that can help you become more satisfied and happy about yourself, especially as a mother.

pregnancy miracle book

The Pregnancy Miracle book will show you that you could be able to defy the limitations that come with infertility issues which greatly preventing you from having a child. This book will teach you natural ways to get pregnant even if you are already on your late 30’s or even in your 40’s. Age would not be much of a hindrance in achieving pregnancy this time. Even if you have tubal obstruction or even if you have hormonal problems most especially if you have elevated level s of FSH, you could still be able to achieve pregnancy through this book. Other reproductive problems like endometriosis, uterine scarring, ovarian cysts, and even low sperm counts of your partner would not be a hindrance anymore when it comes to achieving pregnancy. Pregnancy Miracle will teach you that you do not need to try out different drugs and medical procedures just to achieve pregnancy. You could be able to do it using a very safe and natural way.

If you think that this is impossible, try to get the Pregnancy Miracle book for yourself and be amazed at the quick and effective results. You can also read about various testimonials regarding the success stories of women who used the guidelines from The Pregnancy Miracle book and later on, was able to have their very own bundle of joy through their child. With all these facts, it is really proven that pregnancy is never too late through the Pregnancy Miracle book.

Pregnancy Miracle Review – Does it really work?

Getting pregnant in giving birth to a child is indeed the greatest feeling for a woman. Motherhood is one of the gifts of nature to womankind. After going through the hardships of labor and pregnancy, a mother forgets all that trouble when she gets the first glimpse of her child. However, due to the lifestyles that we follow, the stress that we face in our daily lives and due to other biological or psychological conditions, many women fail to conceive after trying hard for years. The Pregnancy Miracle Book by Lisa Olson promises to help such women conceive and get pregnant.

Pregnancy Miracle Review

What does Pregnancy Miracle by Lisa Olson offer? The Pregnancy Miracle Book by Lisa Olson offers an opportunity of overcoming infertility problems to people. It utilizes ancient system of medicine followed in China along with alternative medicine systems that fight the root cause of infertility instead of treating only the symptoms. The treatment reverses and cures male as well as female infertility issues without the use of any harmful chemicals or drugs that can have severe side effects on the patient. If you opt for this treatment, you will not have to take any harmful drugs and it is claimed that you should be able to get pregnant, naturally within a month or two. You will receive a 270 page e-book that explains the 5 effective steps for getting pregnant in 4 to 8 weeks, along with 90 days free counseling with Lisa Olson.

Who is Lisa Olson? Lisa Olson is a researcher of traditional Chinese medicine, alternative health, a nutrition specialist and a former patient of infertility problems. She developed this treatment after 14 years of research and she was successful in getting pregnant at the age of 43.

Pregnancy Miracle Review Does Pregnancy Miracle really work? Yes! Based on the response it had received from couples around the world, we can certainly say that the Pregnancy Miracle book really works. Countless women have been able to over infertility problems and become pregnant, even in their 40s, with the help of this treatment. It can work for people with all kinds of infertility problems. Even if you had a few miscarriages in the past, suffer from high FSH levels or have blocked tubes, you will still be able to benefit from it. Men with low sperm – count or sperm – mobility will also be cured of their problems.

Is it safe? The best thing about Lisa Olsen Pregnancy Miracle is that, it is 100 % safe and secure. The treatment uses only natural and herbal products, and it will not make you take any harmful chemical drugs. Hence, it does not have any side effects and is very safe.

What are the benefits of Pregnancy Miracle? It provides step by step, easy to understand and logical approach to overcoming all kinds of infertility issues and becoming pregnant. It will help you in understanding common myths associated with pregnancy and how you can conceive without resorting to any harmful surgical procedures. It will also help you to enhance your overall quality of life by following simple tips and advices.

6 Tips To Help You Get Pregnant

If you truly want to have a child, you should definitely follow the 6 tips to help you get pregnant. You may not be aware of the fact that getting pregnant is not an easy task. It is not something that you can just have anytime you want it. Getting pregnant is a very crucial process as it involves the creation of a new life. For you to be able to achieve pregnancy, you must carefully look into several considerations to make sure that your body is ready for the new life that you are about to bring to the world.

1. See Your Doctor First First of all, you have to ensure that your body will be at its best condition for it to be able to handle pregnancy successfully. You have to see your doctor so that you can properly be assessed regarding your health. You can have a general check-up to make sure that you do not have any kind of disease or abnormality that will make your pregnancy unsuccessful. You should be treated from any kind of infection that may be detected to make sure that you will have a good pregnancy. The doctor may also give you some supplements and vitamins that will help you become healthier and prepare you for your pregnancy.

Getting Pregnant

2. Stay Healthy In your own ways, you should be able to remain healthy as much as possible so that you can easily get pregnant. It is important that you eat the right kind of foods that will definitely strengthen and support your body for the new chapter of life that you are about to take. It is very important that you achieve the normal weight that is needed for pregnancy. If you are underweight or overweight, it would be somehow difficult for your body to handle the pregnancy. Be fit and stay in right shape for a successful pregnancy.

3. Maintain Regular Sexual Activity If you really want to get pregnant, you should be able to have normal sexual activity. Do not rely simply on your feelings or instinct when it comes to having regular sex. You should make sure that you not miss the chance of being able to get pregnant by having sexual activity for at least 3-4 times a week.

4. Determine your Ovulation Knowing your ovulation is very important so that you will know the best time for you to have sex and be successful in getting pregnant. You can buy ovulation kits or fertility monitors so that you can determine the closest and most accurate period for your ovulation.

5. Do It Before Ovulation Once you already know when is your ovulation, it is highly advisable that you perform sexual activity before you ovulate when you can be most fertile and when your body is more conducive to handle pregnancy. It is advisable that you have sex at least three days before the day your ovulation.

get pregnant fast

6. Try Alternative Methods of Achieving Pregnancy Couples should not only rely on using the traditional calendar method to be successful in achieving pregnancy. Women have their own cycles and each one may need to monitor their cycles properly to determine their ovulation day. It is best to get new alternatives regarding other reliable methods aside from calendar method for you to get pregnant. We recommend Lisa Olson Pregnancy Miracle Book.

Following theses 6 tips that would definitely help you to get pregnant will truly make sure that you can have that blessing of new life that you have been waiting for.

#pregnancy #infertility #women infertility #pregnancy miracle

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travllingbunny · 5 years

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The 100 rewatch: 1x06 His Sister’s Keeper

I’m a new fan of The 100, who first binged it last year, August to November. This is my first full rewatch of the show. I was planning to start it anyway and finish it before the season 6 premiere on April 30, and when I saw that Fox Serbia was airing a rerun (Monday to Friday, 40 min. after midnight, with repeats the next day), starting on 1st February, it was a great opportunity to start my rewatch in HDTV on my beautiful new TV. I decided to do write-ups and tag other fans on SpoilerTV website, as I did when I was first watching the show. But my posts turned into full blown essays. So, finally, after over a week, I’ve realized: Why don’t I post them on my Tumblr blog, too? I’ll copy my write-ups of the first 7 episodes, and then I’ll post my rewatch posts after I watch each episode. (The next one, 1x08, is on Monday’Tuesday.)

Spoilers below for all 5 seasons of the show. I go of on a tangents and make a lot of references to future events.

Rating: 8/10

Flashbacks to characters' past on the Ark are always one of my favorite things. i wish we'd get more of them. So far, IIRC, there's just been 3 episodes with flashbacks - 1x03, this one, and Join or Die in season 3. They really did a good job making both Bob and Marie look younger in the flashbacks. I do think that telling a 6 year old child it's his responsibility to take care of his sister is messed up, but on the other hand, what choice did Aurora Blake have? I can't judge her for it, since she was in a terrible situation, and it's the Ark system that's to blame for it all. And I've seen people hate on Aurora way too much. Some even go as far as to bring up that terrible "poor people should not have kids" argument, which is awful (classism, eugenics..). . (Another mini-rant upcoming) Speaking of weird things I've seen said in the fandom, I was really puzzled to learn that a lot of people did not realize Bellamy and Octavia have different fathers, and act like that's a big surprise, or that I've even seen people say that "the show never gave indication that they were half-siblings"?? WTF? The show never gave any indication that they were anything but half-siblings. For starters, I don't know why those two being full siblings would be anyone's default assumption, or why some people apparently think that women can't conceiving children with more than one man in their lifetime and that half-siblings are such a weird, rare and unheard of thing? But once you've seen this episode, the probability that they have the same father becomes microscopic. They're 6 years apart, there is no father in sight when Octavia is born, no one ever mentions a father, and Aurora is not in a regular relationship with anyone at the time Octavia is born. If Octavia's father died or was floated, it would have happened very recently, and they would have certainly mentioned it. In fact, I think that they would have definitely mentioned it if either of them knew they had a father who had been floated. I'm not sure what the deal was with Bellamy's father, whether Aurora had a serious relationship with him, whether he was around when Bellamy was very little and what happened to him (but even if he was in the picture at any point, he clearly couldn't have been around much, because Bellamy never mentions him), but in case of Octavia's father, he's clearly not in the picture and it's almost certain Octavia doesn't even know who he is. The two biggest revelations of the flashbacks were: that Octavia was discovered when Bellamy tried to let her have a life, for the first time, by taking her to see the Moon through the window and taking her to the dance to have fun and meet people; and that Shumway was the one who made Bellamy shoot Jaha in exchange for a place on the dropship. Not the greatest mystery The 100 has done - it was always going to be one of the few notable characters on the Ark, it was getting obvious it was not Kane, Diana hasn't even been introduced at this point, and the show never made the whole Jaha - Diana conflict remotely interesting or meaningful. Just how awful would have the lives of the Blake siblings been if they had spent their lives on the Ark? Octavia would have probably never met anyone other than her mother and her brother, never had a chance to have any kind of life except hiding. And Bellamy would have probably never had a real romantic relationship or a close friend (I always assumed he never had any of those on the Ark, because he kept people at a distance), never giving himself a chance to have a family of his own other than his sister, because of having to keep such a huge secret from everyone. Re: the Earth/present part of 1x06, it takes place fully on Earth (which was such a relief for me at the time, because at this point, I was sick of the Ark and hated pretty much every major character there other than Abby) and it's mostly about Bellamy taking a group of Delinquents (including Finn, who was asked to come as a tracker, and a bunch of kids who volunteered) to find Octavia, who was caught saved by Lincoln at the end of 1x05. One of the kids who volunteers is Jasper, the others include Bellamy's FwB Roma, John Mbege, some kid named Diggs, and Monroe (her first appearance). Three of those are redshits that end up killed by the Grounders. The rest almost meet the same fate, if Octavia hadn't asked Lincoln to help save her brother, so he used the signal horn to send a fake warning about the acid fog. which of course had the Grounders running away. I've seen a theory that Bellamy stopped sleeping around (minus that thing with Raven later in S1) because he felt guilty over Roma's death, because, as he says, she only joined the rescue party because of him. It may also be the turning point where he notably starts caring more about all of the Delinquents and not just his sister. As for the scenes with Lincoln and Octavia... eh. Lincoln will get much better writing and become one of my favorite characters in season 2, but in season 1, they were writing him really poorly. He was clearly meant to be mysterious and give the wrong first impression as a scary dangerous dude, which is why he doesn't talk until the very end of 1x07. But that doesn't actually make sense - there's no reason whatsoever, if he's already helping Octavia and doing things not sanctioned by the other Grounders, that he couldn't just talk to her and explain the situation, rather than chaining her up in the cave after healing her. The B subplot is again the love triangle. Or to be fair, the development of the relationship between Clarke and Raven, which is not just about the love triangle. Clarke reveals the info about the shelter to Raven (which Finn is not happy about) and they go together to search for things Raven could use to fix the radio with and contact the Ark. They have a conversation about their mothers, too. Clarke is still very angry at her mother because she blames her for her father's death, but won't talk about it, while Raven thinks Abby is awesome and wishes she had a mother like that, comparing her to her own alcoholic, neglectful mothers. We also learn more about Finn's role in her life - they knew each other as children, and he was the neighborhood boy who was giving her things and helping her survive. Which is consistent with Finn's character - he's always focusing on the girl he's in love with, doing everything for her and doing everything to make sure she feels that she needs him.

Then Raven figures out that Clarke and Finn had hooked up, because she found the origami deer and she's smart, and confronts Clarke about it I don't like the way Raven is catty to Clarke here, as opposed to the fact that she later doesn't confront Finn about it (until much later, when she realizes he's in love with Clarke). I always hate it when women blame only the "other woman", but not their own boyfriend/husband who's the one who cheated. But, again, I love the fact that Clarke absolutely doesn't do the "catty and fighting for a guy" thing. Instead, she points out that she didn't know about Raven.,but also tries to smooth things between Raven and Finn by pointing out that they thought Raven and everyone on the Ark would soon be dead and they would never see them again. This is, however, way, way too generous to Finn, because he was flirting with Clarke already on the dropship and pursued her constantly from day one. But I'm not sure that Clarke is even fully aware of it. She may be thinking that he really wasn't planning on hooking up with her till that moment at the end of 1x04, when he lost hope in contacting the Ark. She has very little romantic experience, after all, and seemed too distracted by everything else happening around them, the fight for survival, trying to save Jasper, Wells' death, the drama with Charlotte etc. to even notice how much Finn was hitting on her. The same way that, in season 2, she was far too distracted by planning the war and worrying about Bellamy and the Delinquents at Mount Weather and didn't seem to notice Lexa giving her heart eyes, until Lexa surprised her by kissing her. She's really not the most attuned to these things. Raven\s remark that "he could have waited for more than 10 days" (yes, exactly) gives us the first explicit clue about the exact timeline. The painful Octavia/Bellamy confrontation at the end of the episode is one of the best dramatic moments on S1. It gets resolved at the end of S1, but now I can't help thinking that it's just the first of the many times throughout all 5 seasons where Octavia blames Bellamy for pretty much everything ever. I remember that Bellamy takes back what he said here in the S1 finale - telling Octavia his life didn't end when she was born, it began - but does Octavia take back any of what she said to him, blaming him for their mother's death and her imprisonment and all? I don't remember that, but I'll pay attention in 1x13.

Timeline and body count at the end of 1x06:

The first 6 episodes took place over 10 days. The first 3 episodes must have been something like a day, then there was a week between episodes 3 and 4, and 4--6 were about a day or two.

Body count:

at least 320 dead people on the Ark, 10 dead Delinquents on the ground: 2 killed in the crash landing (and due to their own stupidity), 3 (Trina, Pascal, Atom) killed by the acid fog (that is, the Mountain Men) - though technically Clarke mercy killed Atom, 2 killed by the Delinquents themselves (Wells - murdered by Charlotte, Charlotte - suicide, mostly sue to pressure from Murphy),, 3 killed by the Grounders (Doggs, Mbege, Roma). "The 100" are The 90 now. As of the start of season 6, they'll be The 4.

#The 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 1x06 #His Sister's Keeper #bellamy blake #octavia blake #clarke griffin #raven reyes #lincoln kom trikru #aurora blake

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clevernewdimension · 6 years

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Unearthly Delights Part Thirteen (M)

Preview, One, Two (M), Three, Four (M), Five, Six (M), Seven (M), Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven (M), Twelve (M) , Thirteen (M), Fourteen (Coming soon!)

Genre: Drama, Smut, Action, Romance, Supernatural Creatures and Monsters AU

Pairing: JunmyeonxCharacter

Word Count: 10.3K

A/N: What happened, hm? Story shifts perspectives a bit this part. Also some more smut because yes. With two people. A different times. Double smut, double fun!

While he was once one, Minseok can’t help but think just how bizarre some humans are. It’s been so long, he’s almost forgotten what it’s like. He was born in 1888, and lived through the coming of a new century. Back then he was in France, the city of love. He was born as the classical land mark, the Eiffel tower, was being built... it’s been so long. His mother ended up there, alone with and pregnant. She had him and raised him all alone. It was hard, but she did it and she was happier than she would have been. She told him about leaving her home in order to escape an abusive husband. He was never told anything about his father other than that, she just smiled and looked out at the massive streets below. She love the city, and she made sure to talk to him in her native tongue in order to pass it along.

For the first three to four years of his life, they lived on the bare minimum. Then, suddenly, his mother found prosperous work and they started to live better. Soon, they lived in a nice house, he had a great education, and they could actually afford to do things like visit art museums, go to nice restaurants and see ballets and plays. When he turned fifteen, his mother told him way. The truth of where all the money comes from.

She was a sex worker. One that was highly sought after. She’s been doing it since before he was alive. It explains the lack of a father figure in his life, how that he thought about it. He could tell she was scared of telling him that, but his opinion of her didn’t change. It’s the world's oldest profession, after all. He love his mother with all of his heart. People who do sex work are not any less than people who don’t.

Her business was booming. People liked her ‘exotic nature’, which is weird, fetishistic and gross, but if they paid and treated her with respect, he didn’t mind as much. He was in college, studying business, trying to get a job that paid well so his mother could retire when she wanted and not have to worry about money. He had a part time job working at a store that made glass figurines. Burns and scars on his forearms still mark him to this day, though they are lighter, almost faded completely to the past.

When he was 28, about to graduate with a doctorate and applying for placed to work that greatly sought after him, he was attacked on the street. It was terrifying. Minseok was strong. He had to protect himself and his mother from clients who were stalkers and obsessed with her. He’s stronger than a lot of people, but he was nothing compared to this person. Sharp fangs piercing his neck, making him scream in agony as the person just put their hand over their mouth to muffle the noises. The feeling of the person swallowing as they drank from him, the pain that was burning into his very soul... he will never forget that night. He heard someone growling, before pulling the person away from him. He feel to the ground, looking up and seeing a man face. He looked at the person who was devouring him, before cutting his wrist and making Minseok drink.

Thus, he became a fledgling vampire. The person who changed him took the time to make sure he wouldn’t attack someone. Made sure he had self control before leaving without another word. He explained that he was a nomad, that many in their clan was. Minseok was terrified of telling his mother, who was worried sick when he came back home for the first time in two weeks. But he did. His mother was shocked at what happened, but, she still loved her son.

She passed away soon after. Cholera was going around in Europe, and it killed her with no remorse, leaving Minseok a fortune of money, art and riches, all of the things her admirers would give her. With that, he left France and went to America. For a new start.

The roaring 20’s, the market crash in the 30’s and the war in the 40’s, Minseok has lived it all. People were snide and, honestly, racist to him a lot, but he didn’t care. Then came the extermination of his clan in the 60′s. He didn’t like to think about it, but he was glad that he met Chanyeol and Kyungsoo who both helped him in the time he needed someone the most. Because of that, the three are friends for life… or as long as the wolves would live. They were young at the time, just fifteen or sixteen, still aging like humans before it slows down and lengthens their life.

Not long after that, in the year 1987, he met seventeen year old Junmyeon. The merman was a bit odd, especially when they first saw one another. Minseok was taking a night time stroll through the neighborhood, just choosing one and walking in whatever direction he wanted. In the middle of the street, in front of a large gate, stood a kid. Blood all along him, hands holding onto a wooden stake that was dripping in blood. He had a cut on his chest, deep and bleeding profusely. His eyes held the purest form of hatred Minseok has ever seen as the bodies of five vampires were all around him.

Truth be told, Minseok was scared for a moment. His eyes looked at him, “If you’re a Venture, i’ll give you three seconds to run away as fast as you can.”

Minseok, being alive for so long, was curious about this man. The name of the Venture clan made Minseok feel at ease. He understood the hatred Junmyeon was feeling. “I’m not,” He says, “I’m a vampire, but a different clan.”

He ended up healing Junmyeon’s wound, looking after him after learning about what happened. Since, they two were inseparable. Somehow, the merman drew people around him. The outcasts, the loners and the people who needed a family. Junmyeon opened a club for the sole purpose of connections in order to try and kill every last Venture. It worked, soon he was in drug rings and gun smuggling as well has had politicians in his pockets. The kind man had a dark side to him, the one that craved the revenge for his family. The one that would do anything to achieve it.

Taemin was a part of their life before going somewhere new to spread his wings as he put it. Not long after, he asked for a job for Ava.

Ava Vass. The definition of a bizarre human. She drinks, she smokes, she breaks the law and has no problem using sexual favors for personal gain. Even so, Minseok knew that deep down there are some line she doesn’t cross. For their dark twisted world, she has a good heart.She has morals, though she also acts very immorally. She was odd, and it was something that Minseok liked.

Watching her catch Junmyeon’s attention was something special, though. He’s been so obsessed with revenge that he hasn’t had the time to open himself to the possibility of any sort of romantic thoughts. That’s not to say the man celibate or anything. Quite the opposite, in fact. The merman was scared of being hurt and losing someone, so he just found sex in friends and left it there. Let his desires out with those he can trust. Not that he could blame him. Besides, Minseok has been on the giving and receiving end of his sexual frustrations and it was, truthfully, a wonderful time. Men, women, it didn’t matter for Junmyeon.

Then he saw Ava. Minseok could see it starting from a mile away. He’s known Junmyeon since the merman was a teen. She’s had a positive influence on his life even if, for anyone normal, she would be a bad influence. He started to open more to people who are not just his circle of family he made himself. The best part about it was Ava wasn’t willing to let him just ignore her like he does with anyone else who he finds even a single bit interesting. She’s in your face and knows exactly what she wants. She’s a fighter, pure and simple, molded and crafted into a person who gives zero fucks. Seeing her crack through his friend’s shell was something Minseok thought to be impossible.

Ava quickly earned his respect. Watching her throw herself headfirst in order to protect the family he’s found made him accept her as one of their own. She’s not like the rest of them, she very well could have died doing that.

After work, hearing Jongin talk a little about what his devious plan that happened was fun. The incubus knew about Junmyeon and Ava. Everyone knew, and Junmyeon was taking it slowly. But trying to speed up the process is always fun. Seeing what it would take to break Junmyeon was more so. Jongin left him after, smiling and grinning from ear to ear about how full he was made Minseok realize he should probably feed before going out into the city.

Minseok meant to leave before hand, but waited in order to feed on a healthy, unbitten feeder that was still there. It wasn’t uncommon for the feeders to be good looking. That isn’t what matters, though. What matters is the taste. People who taste the best are taken first, and so on and so on. Minseok knew by this time there would only be one left, maybe two. They all wore a tag with their blood type and what they taste like. Feeders find themselves proud of how they taste.

Minseok spots the last feeder there, looking over at the man who looked out for their safety. The man knew Minseok, knew he worked here and let him on in. A quick word of hello and it got to business. Minseok moved, perching on his lap, a leg on either side of him. He could hear the man’s heart beat quicken. No matter how many times someone is bitten it still happens. A natural reaction. Minseok smiled, liking to tease a bit before biting. He kisses and sucked on the skin, earning a few gasps. Me smirked as he bit down. His fangs pierced into his neck, gulping the hot crimson liquid down. The man below him gripped his hips, gasping as the sensation hit him quickly. The man was moaning, holding onto him as Minseok drank as much as he could. He tasted like licorice, sharp and unmistakable. Most people find it disgusting, but Minseok liked how different and unique it was. The hunger that was starting to claw at him was quickly extinguished after the first couple of gulps. The man’s shaky breathy moan in his ear going straight to his groin. There was something about a person moaning that just does something to him. A few more mouthfuls later, he licked the wound, healing it as he tastes the last of the blood. He felt stronger, ready for anything and full of energy. As he pulls away, cleaning every last drop of blood, the man was sighing, leaning back against the seat of the large arm chair they’re in. The vampire licks his lips, looking down at him as he was sitting in the human’s lap. The vampire takes notice of the very evident hard on he could feel under him, just smirking wider.

The human laughs, hair pastel pink as he was high on the buzz of being bitten. If they’re not careful, feeders can become addicted to the feeling of the bite. Some people get use to it, able to be bitten three or four times a week, but for the most part, humans should only be bitten twice a week with a few days between. Minseok made sure everything was fine, that the man was alright. He absentmindedly started flicking at one of the earrings he had, looking over him with a worried expression. His button up black shirt was hanging open as the vampire make sure he isn’t dizzy or anything.

All feeders wore the same black shirt and pants, looking very uniform. Minseok glances at him, smirking at how flushed the man was beneath him.

“I’m fine,” The human says, smiling, “I think I’m going to go find someone to fix my problem now.”

He was daring, hands on Minseok pulling him down so he he was pressed right down of exactly what the bite has done instead of softly, teasingly hovering like before. After decades of life, Minseok could easily see when someone was flirting with him. He was very wary of hooking up with feeders, though. Most of the time they just fuck and beg to be turned. This fantasy in their heads of what being a vampire is like is a ridiculous notion and Minseok hates people who don’t understand that it is also a burden. Thankfully, Junmyeon seem to know a good business, as that hasn’t happened in a while. Minseok smiles, it’s been a long time since he had a feeder that was this daring after because of it. The vampire grins, “Sorry, the older the vampire the more potent the bite.”

“Remind me to come and work here more often, then,” He says with a smile. “I’ll be back to do this again,” He says. Minseok smiled, remembering his name from the tag. Mino.

Minseok found him attractive, that was certain. He didn’t really have a type. If you’re tall and strong, that’s cool. If you’re short and smaller, that’s awesome. Men or women, human or supernatural being, Minseok doesn’t mind. Why limit yourself to one thing when you can feast on it all? It’s funny, Minseok thinks as he leans in rocking his hips a little with a small smile. The man groaned as he was grinding on his hard length, making the vampire crave something other than the man’s blood. The offer to help him out was right there, about to leave his mouth. It’s been a while since Minseok has slept with someone who wasn’t in their friend circle, after all.

Yixing’s panicked voice carried upstairs, cutting through the flirty aura that was around them. Minseok could feel the terror from him all that way up here. Mino could hear it too as he looked at the vampire. “Go,” He says, seemingly understanding. “It sounds bad.”

The vampire nods, “Come back again,” He says. The man nodded, as Minseok took one last look at him before quickly standing from the man’s lap as he moved out the door. He looked down from the stairs, seeing Ava down on one of the tables. Blood pouring from the side and dripping into the floor, the smell of chai filling his senses. Yixing was there, and Junmyeon, his eyes wide in absolute terror. Minseok quickly descended the stairs, time was of the utmost importance now as he understood the gravity of the situation that was at hand.

He knows what has to be done now. There’s not enough time for anything else, and if he doesn’t do something Ava will be gone forever. Minseok yanks Taemin back, shoving him away. The vampire knew that the demonic man spent too long being shocked to be able to turn her into one of them. She wouldn’t have the strength or the time to survive it now. He removes Junmyeon’s hands from the wound. His face is determined, doing everything he needed to. He feels his fangs sharpen as he bring it up to his wrist, stabbing it into it with quick ease. His blood starts to pour from the wound, spilling into the ground. He uses his other hand, opening Ava’s mouth. She was still awake, but likely out of it from how weak she was.

Taemin was stunned, “Minseok, you… you said-”

“And you had a chance and you let it pass. This is the only way,” Minseok growls, glaring at the incubus. Minseok pours his blood into Ava’s mouth as his eyes turned red. Mesmerising someone always felt wrong to Minseok, but hee had to do it or else. “Drink, Ava.”

Minseok watched as, with the last of her strength, she swallowed the blood. The vampire looks up seeing Junmyeon, his hands covered in blood as he looks lost as he was looking at her. The merman’s hair a complete nest as he just looks at her. Minseok feels bad for him, for his dear friend. It’s like every time he opens up, something happens. Minseok glanced at Ava, watching as her breathes stop and her eyes stare lifelessly to the ceiling. The first step is done.

Yixing was looking, his head shaking, “This will work… right?”

Minseok nodded, “Yes.” The conflicted feelings in him. He’s angry someone did this to her. He’s upset that he had to turn her or else she’d die. He’s… confused, about having someone else in his clan once again. “She’s going to be a newborn, though. She and I will, for the first week, be at my place. I still have the bunker that Chanyeol would be in before he could control himself during the full moon.” He looks at Junmyeon, “I need to take her there now. She’ll wake up in a few hours and I’m going to need that time to gather and prepare the things we need.”

“Ok,” The merman says, nodding as the door bursts open. Sehun was sprinting in, Johnny at his heels. Johnny breathing heavily as he stares at the scene before him. He looks utterly devastated at the sight, shaking his head in disbelief. Sehun, who didn’t break a sweat at all running, looked angry. His eyes took in the sights, seeing the blood all on the ground

“What the fuck,” Johnny says, moving and looking at Ava. His eyes widen, filling with tears, “She’s-”

“She’s going to be fine,” Taemin says, looking at him. He pats him on the shoulder, “She will be fine. I promise.” The incubus just pulls the young teen to him, hugging him tightly as Johnny just stared, eyes wide and full of terror.

Sehun was still. He just stared, quiet as he clenches his fists. Anyone around could feel the anger radiating off of him in this moment. He was tense, looking at Ava with red eyes. “Yixing… we need to figure out who did this,” He mutters, looking at the fae.

“I’ll prepare the time rift spell,” He says, moving and going directly into the kitchen. The fae needed to do something to feel like he’s useful after being unable to save Ava. “I have everything I need here.”

Minseok picks Ava up, holding her lip body in his arms. He looks at Sehun, “Take care of Jun.”

The shapeshifter nods, moving close to their boss.

The door is slammed open again, the two werewolves coming in. Chanyeol, living close by, was in already in a sleeveless tank and a pair of plaid pajama pants. His feet bare as it looks like he ran here. Kyungsoo liked to sometimes go and get breakfast at a diner close by after work, so he must have seen Chanyeol running here.

Chanyeol looks, seeing Minseok carrying Ava, “Is… is she?”

“She will be back,” Minseok says, “I need you two to help me. We have to watch over her when she turns. I’m going to have to get her blood bags and I can’t leave her alone.”

Kyungsoo was shocked, looking at the blood that was on the floor, dripping from Ava. “Sure…” He says, looking at her. He knows how it works, she’s technically lifeless now. He’s seen this happen before he met Minseok. She’ll wake in a little bit. Her eyes red and her hunger uncontrollable. They needed to make sure she didn’t hurt anyone, or kill someone when she woke.

Minseok just sighs, as Kyungsoo opens the door for him as they quickly get in his car. He just wanted to make sure Junmyeon didn’t see this part. He didn’t want him to see the part of the change. It would be something he would never forget in his entire life, and seeing her like that would just make his friend lock himself up emotionally again. That is, if this doesn’t. Minseok sighs, walking quickly. He just hopes he didn’t make a mistake.

Flashes pop into my mind. Like dreams, slightly blurry. Being dark, alone in a small and confined space. I remember touching, feeling wood as I scrambled in fear. In a dark place, alone. I screamed, trying to move as I was constricted. I slam my fists onto the front of the wood, hearing it crack. I screamed more, yelling for help as I slammed them again, as it cracked open and something fell on me. My mouth catching some as I taste dirt. I could feel worms crawling as I tried to move the dirt around me. I panicked as I started trying to move through the dirt, away from the wooden box.

The tears that came from my eyes made dirt stick to my face as I pushed with all my might against the earth, moving it out of my way as much as I could. It felt like years, the dirt scratching my eyes and getting up my nose. I pushed my hand up, feeling cool air hit my skin as I try to break through. Water hitting my hand was cool, welcoming. My body felt like it was on fire, burning like a witch on a pyre. I could feel pieces of wood stabbed into my arms, jagged and bleeding. I kick with my legs, pushing against some solid earth as I break through, my head out of the ground as I looked around, my heart racing.

Someone touches me and I lash out, punching towards them. I miss in my panic state, as the person moves and grabs my arm, pulling me out of the ground. I was covered in mud, the rain pouring down as the thunder cracked, illuminating the sky violently. I choked back a sob of anxiety, looking and seeing the whole in the grass I came from. Someone was yelling things to me, but I couldn’t hear it.

I fell to the ground, exhausted and in unbearable amounts of pain I realise after the sense of danger starts to fade. Before I could say or do anything, I find myself falling unconscious. It felt like my body was doing things I didn’t know of. I’d get visions of nails, growing and fur. Blood, so pretty…

Visions of people forcing me away as someone was taken out of the room. I was frantic, trying to fight them off just to get back, just to see. It was like I was in and out, watching as someone else controlled my body and took it for a joyride. I see a hand with sharp long nails slicing into someone’s chest, blood starting to seep out of it and staining the shirt. The color drawing me, inviting me as I try to rush to it. I feel someone grab me and, no matter how hard I fight, they’re too strong.

The person left, the blood all gone as I just continued to try to hurt anyone and everyone around me. Make them feel the pain I was feeling. It wasn’t fair, my did I feel it if they weren’t. It was agony. I wanted it to end. I needed it to end.

When I came back, I was standing, screaming out. My throat was sore from the amount of yelling. All I felt was pain. It felt like every bone was being snapped and reformed, pushed and made into something else, something more. My head, my stomach, my mouth… everything was agony. I open my eyes, seeing the metal walls with deep scratches down the walls. I scream, writhing in pain. I feel someone hold me steady, as I open my eyes, looking around. Chanyeol was holding me to the ground. I kick him, watching him bend in pain as I look around frantically. My mind knew he was a friend but I just… I couldn’t stop. Everything hurt. My chest felt as if it was on fire as Chanyeol move, grabbing me and holding me, trying to keep my arms at my sides.

“It hurts,” I scream, kicking and just trying to lash out at anything I could. I screamed, feeling the bone deep cold within me except my chest. I glared, my screams ringing around us in this metal room.

My stomach was going crazy, hunger clawing at me as Chanyeol had me in a grapple, trying to stop me from moving. That’s when I noticed it. The spicy smell. Chili and… something else. It smelled good. It smelled delicious.

I could hear a door open as I looked, seeing Minseok standing there. “Chanyeol, you can leave.”

The werewolf lets go of me as I move to the door. Minseok grabbed me, pushing me so hard my back hit the wall behind me. Minseok’s eyes glowing, “Stop, Ava. Now.”

I wanted to argue back, but I was frozen still. Something was stopping me as he looked at me. “Hungry,” I say, “I’m starving.”

“Come here,” He mutters, holding something in his hand. “Drink. It’s not fresh, but you’ll kill someone if you go after them.”

I take it, him being around calming me a little. He hand me a plastic bag, cutting a whole in it with his teeth. I take it, the smell wasn’t exactly pleasant. It smelled stale, older. But I was just so hungry. I take it, putting it to my mouth and drinking it. The taste was like eating the sweetest fruit, only better. My body became warm as I just drank and drank until it was gone. I look up, seeing Minseok holding another to me. “You’ll need your strength.”

I take it, gulping it down greedily. The pain in my stomach easing, and soon, the rest of it does too. It was almost euphoric the way it went from pain to bliss. It wasn’t until I was done did I realise what I was drinking. I look at the bag in my hands, seeing the label. AB positive. The deep red liquid still a tiny bit in it, dripping. I drop it, watching it flutter to the floor. Dozens of blood bags littered the ground. Some spilled on the ground, staining it. I look up, reaching to my mouth. Two razor shark teeth. I shake my head, looking at my hands and back at Minseok.

“Ava,” Minseok says, couching down beside me. “Do you remember anything?”

I shake my head. “Just… work…” I glance up, “I’m… you…”

I was never going to age again. I was going to be like this forever unless I’m killed or take myself out. It was odd. I could feel the power surging through me, molding to me and making me stronger, more alert… better in almost every way.

Minseok nods. “If I didn’t, you would have been dead.” I couldn’t tell if he was trying to reassure me or himself when he spoke. “You were attacked when you went home. All I know is you called Yixing because you thought he could help you.” He looks at me, eyes full of all different emotions that I can’t exactly place. “The blade used to hurt you was powerful. Extremely powerful. He couldn’t stop you from dying, so… I made it so when you did you’d come back again.”

I close my eyes, trying to think, “The… the box in the ground?”

“It happened,” Minseok says, patting my shoulder, “I’m sorry. It’s scary, I know. I have to tell you all about my clan… our clan now. We're part of an ancient clan made up of a type of vampire called Gangrel. The types of vampires we are can be described as… animalistic.” He says, nodding, “When I get into a rage and am fighting, I growl, grow claws and my eyes glow like a werewolf’s. That same will probably happen to you.” Minseok picks up a class he had, holding it. “We’re also extremely strong. The only thing stronger than an adult Gangrel vampire is a werewolf. You have about seventy to sixty years until you get that strong, though. For the most part, it’s the same. Holding a glass is normal. It’s when you try to really use your strength it shows.”

I nod, trying to listen and just hear him explain without freaking the fuck out about all of this. My heart was still beating in my chest, racing as I just wait, listening.

He seemed to understand how weirded out I was by my heart still beating. “Your heart still beats. Unlike common stories, vampire hearts beat. They’re slower than average, though. It pumps the blood we drink in so that we can move and feed some more. If we didn’t drink, we would just be lethargic and too weak to move,” He says, nodding. “Also, we can walk in sunlight no problem. Gangrel’s don’t get turned to ash from it or anything like that. Not even sunburn. People speculate it’s because we’re closer to wild animals than vampires. Only one family has a supreme weakness to it, however. Ventures. All others burn and sizzle and will eventually turn to ash. Ventures… they will turn to ash immediately.” He says, “As you’ve seen, the blade Junmyeon gave you turns places you cut and stab into ash as well. Lastly, because I turned you, I am your Sire. I’m basically your mentor. You’re under my care and it’s my job to make sure you don’t turn out to be a piece of shit who just kills people.”

The vampire looks up, “Now. Since that night, it’s been a week. In the time you were not yourself. The things you did you can not blame on yourself, understand?”

I nod, not sure exactly he means by that. It made me feel very uneasy. The thought how I went from just a normal human to, well… not. The pain… it must have been the process of turning.

Minseok gave me a cautious look, like he was ready to defend himself at any moment. “Now, Ava, we have to talk about feeding,” He says, “Human food will still taste good to you. I still eat someone just because I love the taste, but it will not satiate your hunger anymore.”

“Obviously,” I mutter, feeling like my entire life has just been rocked.

Minseok just smiles a little, “Since you are a new born, you need to feed daily. You, as a younger and weaker vampire, can’t drink from other vampires like I can. I also don’t think you should be drinking from feeders without supervision, because you may accidentally kill them.”

“So my options are… what, exactly,” I ask, looking at him.

“Blood bags or… well, with me there to stop you. Or an adult werewolf. They’re the only thing strong enough to be able to pull you away from them if you start to go into a frenzy and drink too much,” Minseok explains, “I also think you should have me there just in case so I can heal them if you forget. You also shouldn’t bite them for the first two weeks. One down, one to go. Instead, they will cut their wrist and let you feed that way.”

“Why can’t I bite,” I ask, glancing a tall the deep scratch marks into the wall.

“If a newborn bites in their first two week, they’ll become insane from the sensations. It will be too much of a shock to your senses. A vampire’s self control isn’t in place for their first two weeks for their new undead life.” Minseok smiles, “It’s sort of like being a child again.”

“Goddamnit,” I say, “hope there isn’t a second puberty.”

Minseok laughs at that. He shakes his head, smiling as he looks at me. “I think this is going to go perfectly well, Ava. Tomorrow, after you feed, we’ll test to see how fast and strong you really are.”

Minseok stands, helping me up as he smiles. “How about I give you a tour of my place?”

“Sounds good.”

“I do have one last thing I need to explain to you,” He says, as he walks alongside me as we look at paintings of many old, dead lords. “Because you’re a young vampire, for the first few months anytime you feed from someone, bite or not, you’ll probably get… well, for a lack of a better way to put this, unbelieveably horney.”

I laugh, “Is this like the sex talk?”

He smiles, “Sort of. This is going to be awkward, but if you find yourself unable to break through that feeling and hold it back, I’d suggest going to myself, the wolves or the incubuses.”

“But am I stronger than them?”

“Right now? You’re only stronger than Baekhyun and Chen. Though their song would work on them so if you really wanted to… but I’d suggest not just in case you break out of it. You’re about even with Yixing. Fae’s look dainty but they’re strong. When he was exiled a lot of the strength was taken from him. He was high in the Queens court and one of their strongest. High court Fae are stronger than anything I know of.” Minseok explains, calmly, “So… just keep that in mind.”

Minseok’s house was a little out of the city. It wasn’t as big as Junmyeon’s, but it was still fairly grand. Everything was modern, dark and perfect for a new age vampire. I asked Minseok questions about his Sire and his relationship with him. Minseok tells me about him, a man named Luhan who was over five centuries old when he made Minseok. Second in command of their clan and part Fae. Their relationship was, for the first ten years, platonic. Luhan taught him and cared for him, keeping him safe.

“Then it took a turn. It happens sometimes between Sires and their fledglings,” He says. “Sometimes it’s romantic, but for the most part they are mainly sexual.” The older vampire glances at me, “Don’t think that you have to do anything like that, by the way. I just… Luhan told me it was different for a Sire. That it felt wonderful in way he never knew. Anyways, after a few decades of the two of us, we splitted. Ended the romantic side of things. He dated and saw other people and I’m doing the same. And then… well, the attempted extermination of our clan.”

“So we’re the only two,” I ask, looking at him. “It has to be lonely.”

He nods, “Yeah. Not only am I your Sire, I’m your Lord as well. Don’t call me that, though.” He says, shaking his head. “Most clans live together, but for the most part Gangrel were loners. Half were nomadic, so the fact that someone hunted us all down is shocking, really.”

He stops outside of a room, “Here, the guest room. I’d suggest you shower because you… well, smell awful and haven’t bathed since before you died. Clothes are already in there.”

I nod, “Sure. And thanks… for everything.”

The room was black and white, rather plain. Smooth and stylish, while missing all personality at all. I moved into the bathroom, it was nice too. A huge shower, a nice tub, and a large mirror. When I took a look at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t help but stare. My hair was practically black with dirt. My skin was covered in it, along with a bruises. I looked absolutely filthy. Even when I was homeless I never looked this bad.

It was a bit terrifying, though. Thinking about pretty much coming out of a grave.

After I showered and got into bed, somehow those thoughts and new revelations didn’t stop me from sleeping. I slept naked, because there were no pajamas and I didn’t feel like wearing jeans to bed. I pulled the blanket around me, turning and laying on my side, trying to push the thoughts of the pain and nightmares away.

I felt something touch me as I gasp, bolting upright. The sun from the window bright, making me cover my eyes. It was mid day as Minseok was shaking my shoulder. He looks at me, eyebrow raised, “You ok?”

Nightmares. All night long. Remembering the pain. Of waking up under the ground and having to fight and crawl up. The woman, her knife, the agony. The sights of all the people I love telling me how their deaths were my fault. The devastation on Junmyeon’s face. The helplessness on Yixing’s.

“Yeah,” I say, nodding, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

The blanket was at my waist as he just looks at me. He just smirks a little, not even trying to hide as he glanced at my bare chest. He looked back at me, unashamed from his ogling. “You could have just told me you didn’t have pajamas.”

“Sleeping nude is fun though,” I say with a smile, trying to distract myself from the nightmare.

He rolls his eyes, “Nice to see that you haven’t really changed at all.” He looks to the door, “Come in, Lily.”

A woman walks in, smiling as she moves towards us. I glance from her to Minseok. I could smell her, hear her heart beating fast. It got a little faster when she say me as my eyes followed her.

Minseok just smiles, “I’ve already eaten. I’m here to make sure you don’t get too greedy. Lily works here, as one of the three people who help me keep this place clean. She agreed to let you drink from her.”

“Well, you always said I tasted like champagne,” She says, raising her wrist towards Minseok. Lily was young looking, about the same height as Minseok. Her hair was tied back into a bun, neon yellow practically glowing. She was tan, her eyes a lovely green.

Minseok’s fangs stretched out, as he motions me to move towards them. I sit up, not caring about covering myself as I watch him cut her wrist with his fangs.

The second I see the crimson liquid, I could feel the clawing hunger in my stomach. Twisting, burning, telling me to drink. To feast. To devour. I move, Minseok holding her wrist as I lick up the dripping blood before sucking directly where the cut is. The taste was like champagne and strawberries and just the most wonderful thing I’ve tasted. I could hear her moan as I drank, feeling Minseok’s hand on my head, petting my hair, muttering sweet nothings as he watched us carefully. Her hand grabbed my shoulder as she gasped, shivering as she clinged to me. “Fuck,” She moaned, her nails clawing into me which just made me want more.

The second I started to drink, it felt like when Minseok drank from me. I was moaning, swallowing up all the warm liquid. My hand immediately went in between my thighs, feeling how quickly I was dripping from feeding. I glanced, seeing the effect I had on her. Making her moan and gasp in bliss, there was something that just undeniably powerful about it.

Not only was she gasping and moaning, I was too. It was almost embarrassing how hot I felt so quickly. I whimpered, drinking gulp after greedy gulp, as much as I could. It was warm, like drinking hot chocolate on a chilly day.

“Ava,” Minseok says, his eyes stern.“Stop now.”

I drank more, hearing a faint growl from Minseok. Before I knew it, Minseok gripped my hair and pulled, eyes glowing. He glared at me, “Stop. Now, heal her.”

He lets go of my hair, giving me a chance. It took everything I had to stop sucking on the wound and lick it, letting it close and heal. I lick every last drop as I could as she sighs, face flushed. I look at Minseok, looking as he watches me in fascination as I lick the last bit of her blood away. He looked proud.

I felt oddly warm, moaning as I looked at Minseok. He looked proud in a way. I couldn’t focus on that as I looked. His handsome face and strong shoulders, my mind imagining all the filthy things we could do right now. I’ve never felt this desperate in my life to be touched or anything. “Please,” I say, begging him, “Help me, please.”

“Thank you, Lily,” Minseok says, “If you wouldn’t mind, we would like some privacy.”

She nods, and the second she shuts the door after her, I lean towards Minseok and press my lips to his with fervor. I need it, I needed it now so badly I couldn’t even think straight. He moans, licking the last of the blood off my lips, pulling me close and he picks me up, turning and pressing me against the wall. He wasted no time, understanding what it was I was craving at the moment. I gasp, his mouth moving to my neck as I moan, holding on to his shoulders.

I could hear his heart beating, as one of his hands cups my breast, the touch was harsh and rough as he squeezes the nipple in his fingertips. Minseok moves the hand and pulls on his belt, before letting his pants and underwear fall to the ground, stepping out of them quickly.

“Please,” I beg, desperate for the pleasure I so desperately craved. It almost hurt so bad with how turned on I was. The smirk on Minseok’s face was sinful as he just looked me in the eyes, holding my faces so I couldn’t look away.

In one, quick thrust, he was completely in me. I yelled, arching my back as he just wraps one arm around me, the other going to my hair and holding it tightly at the base of my skull. “Fuck,” He growls and pulls roughly at my hair, yanking it as his lips press down on the skin against my neck. He bit the skin there, blunt human like teeth instead of fangs. He was groaning, his face twisted in ecstasy as his hips rocked into me as quick as he could manage. The both of us too high with lust to want to take this slowly, too needy to tease. I need it, and I didn’t care how I get it so long as it’s done.

I bit my lip, feeling my fangs cut into it as Minseok’s head snaps up, looking at me. The taste of copper on my tongue as, for a moment, Minseok was just watching, his eyes on my lips. He presses his lips to mine, before letting out a loud growl. He sucked on my lip, pushing into me as I did the best I could to rock back and meet his thrusts. Minseok groans, tasting my blood as I could feel his grip on me tighten.

I feel softness at my back as I see that we’re on the bed now, Minseok hovering over me. I rip the shirt he wore completely in two as if it was a tissue, arching as I move, pushing him so he was on his back. He let me do so, falling back against the bed. He smiles up at me, his eyes glowing red. I trailed my fingers down his chest, taking note of the tattoo on the left side of his chest. His hands find my hips as I start to move. The sound of slick skin slapping echoed in the room, along with the noises I was making as Minseok just let’s his eyes wander my body.

“Ava,” He moans, looking in my eyes, the glowing red of his irises turning me on more and more.

I push my hands against his chest, feeling the tightness in my lower region building, ready to burst. I feel him move, planting his feet into the bed so he could thrust up into me, his hips slapping against me and he grips my ass, moaning and saying my name.

One of his hands moves to my clit, rubbing it quickly as I tumbled from the edge of ecstasy immediately. I was yelling, my throat horse from before but I didn’t care. He was hitting the most pleasurable spot within me as the same time, making me tear up at the feeling. I was shaking as he pushed me against the bed, my back there as he laid beside me, gasping.

I looked back, seeing Minseok still hard as he just takes a few deep breaths. I move, not going to let him be unsatisfied, after all. I didn’t want to risk a blowjob, since my fangs were still sharp, so wrapped my fingers around him, moving and kissing his lips. He groaned, tongue still finding my cut lip as he was gripping my hair, rocking his hips, fucking my hand as I could hear growls deep in his chest. They sounded like a tiger or a jaguar, deep and rumbling. There was something terrifying about it that made what we were doing feel even more exhilarating.

He stilled as I kept moving my hand, feeling is warm release on my fingers. He groaned, muttering words of endearment to me as he finally lets out a long moan. He pulled away after licking the small wounds on my lip. He was gasping for air, his eyes wide and pupils blown open. I smile looking at him as I look at my hand. It was covered in his release as I just brought it to my mouth, licking it clean. Minseok just watched, smiling as he shook his head.

We didn’t stay there and rest, though. Minseok wouldn’t let me as he just gets us both away from one another. I think he knew that if he stayed I would have hopped on him almost immediately. After a little bit of clean up, I was dressed in jeans and a sleeveless shirt, looking over and seeing Chanyeol across from me. The werewolf complained about being made to wait, but he was still full of joy and smiles. We walked outside, following the vampire until he stopped. He moved sitting under a tree, watching curiously.

Minseok house was small, but the land was massive. Chanyeol told me he got it to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo could run though the forest here on full moons, playing with one another and letting their wolves out freely.

The werewolf was looking at me, serious expression on his face. It was weird seeing someone so bright and happy be so serious. “Punch me,” He says, arms crossed. “I can only see how strong you are if you just let loose and hit me.”

I shrug, before pulling my fist back and swinging it as fast and with as much force as I could directly to his face. I was shocked, seeing him actually be pushed back a bit by the force. I was so use to punching these guys and them not moving at all that now, seeing this, was on the edge of being euphoric.

I was grinning, looking at my hands as Chanyeol hisses in pain.

“Fuck,” He says, “You’re not even an adult yet and you still punch like a truck.”

“All the years of fight club is going to make her into one hell of a threat,” Minseok says, nodding.

I smiled proudly at that. It will be nice not to feel like the weakest person anymore. I was use to being considered one of the strongest. When I moved here, I was suddenly one of the weakest. It felt nice to be seen as a threat again.

Chanyeol runs me though more tests. Reaction speed, which I excel at, stamina, which I have a ton of, and strength, which isn’t that much, apparently. Yet.

But, that means little to me as I pick Chanyeol up like it was nothing, grinning from ear to ear as I held him over my head. “This is so fucking awesome,” I say, smiling.

“You also seem to have good self control already,” Minseok says, “You healed Lily when I asked. Most newborns would just lash out and try to drink their fill.” He nods, “I don’t think you losing your control will happen often once this week is up.”

“That’s great,” Chanyeol says as I set him back down. “Especially since it can be very devastating.” He shows me his arm, a long cut from the shoulder to the nail of his ring finger. “You were pretty scary.”

My eyes go wide, “I… I didn’t mean…”

Chanyeol hold his hands out, “It’s ok, trust me, Kyungsoo and I don’t blame you. Besides, the scar is going to look so sick-”

“What did I do to Kyungsoo,” I ask, looking over at Minseok. My eyes wide, hearing this for the first time.

The vampire glared at Chanyeol, who looked like a kicked puppy. Minseok stands, walking to me. “You clawed him on the chest. Three long cuts. He’s fine, just resting. He was more annoyed than anything, but not at you. He knows you can’t help it.”

I sigh, “I’ll get him like… a bottle of whiskey to say sorry.”

“Or you could use actual words,” Minseok says, giving me a look.

“Just because you’re my whatever doesn’t make you my father,” I say, shaking my head. “Though, I would appreciate a daddy if you catch my drift.”

Chanyeol ignores that, “Kyungsoo is someone who thinks actions speak louder than words. Just go and see him and apologize. Be upfront about it. That fact that you showed up will be enough, really.”

“I should wait until after this week before I go and see him,” I say, “I… don’t know if I’ll trust myself out there surrounded by people until this week is up.”

The vampire grinned, “Good. This is going smoother than I though compared to the first week.” Minseok looked at me, “I’m shocked you’re not going crazy. I almost killed someone when I was turned. All I was was wanting to either kill someone and drink every last drop or fuck anyone I saw.”

“Maybe she got it all out then,” Chanyeol says, “She was like… a honey badger. Sometimes uncontrollable. It was awful. You said that it was just short bursts, but then, when she was going though it, it was like she was constantly in a frenzy.”

I could feel the clawing feeling return as I looked at the werewolf. Minseok could tell immediately, “Well, I’m right here and I’m hungry.”

Chanyeol just tilted his head as he was seated, leaning against a tree. He glances at Minseok, nodding. “I can do it.”

Minseok look at him, “You know what she’ll be like after, right?”

Chanyeol laughs, “Do you really think that would stop me? Of all of us?” After a nod and a few more words from Chanyeol, the vampire moves back to his house, giving Chanyeol and I some privacy with a smirk on his face. I swear before he left I could hear him mutter about how bizarre I was.

Chanyeol, while the first time we had fun together was a bit rough and quick, was being gentle and patient at the start, at least. He kisses my skin, soft and lightly as he undressed me slowly. Tossing my shirt and bra to the side, cupping my breasts and dipping his head to lick at the hardening buds. The air still cool as autumn was here. Undressing was the first priority, according to him. “This way, when you’re so filled with lust, you won’t have to wait long,” He explains with a smile, lightly biting at one of my nipples, making me hiss.

“So thoughtful,” I tease, moving to shimmy out of my pants, watching him get undressed. Chanyeol was, like everyone else who worked at Unearthly Delights, was insanely attractive. He was a bit of a goof and very sweet, but man, he has an amazing body. Very clear and defined abs, toned arms, and a nice butt. Not the best butt of the lot, that honor belongs to Sehun, but a nice one all the same. He was also well endowed, which I remembered from giving him head. God I wanted to take him back with me and just fuck his brains out that night.

I move, straddling him after he sat back down, my knees on either side of him, resting on the soft grass as he just looks at me. He smiles, sitting naked on the grass as if it was a usual thing for him. Perhaps he was just use to being outside. Reaching up, he holds my chin, “Open up.”

I could feel my fangs already as I open. Before I could react he cut his wrist on my fang, holding it out for me.

The smell is intoxicating. I quickly bring it to my mouth, moaning as the blood touches my tongue. He tastes sweet and spicy, like chocolate with chili in it. I open my eyes, looking at Chanyeol, watching as he moans out loud, shivering and sighing with his eyes closed. The other hand moves, softly stroking me between my thighs as I just take a moment to gasp, some of the blood running down his forearm. I rub my hips down on his length, causing him to hiss.

He looks at me, grinning, “Fuck, you’re so fucking wet Ava.” He says, before pulling me up for a moment.I just smirk, wanting to continue to tease him as I moved back down.

My eyes widen as I felt myself sliding down his thick cock, moaning as some of his blood escapes my mouth, “Fuck, Chanyeol!” I close my eyes, sucking on his wrist as I move, slowly up and down, feeling like my body was on fire. I looked at him, expecting him to be ready to tell me stop.

“Werewolves make blood faster than others,” He says gasping as I slid back up. His eyes glowing slightly. “You can drink more from me than you can normally.” He places his hand on me, positioning my hips to just the right angle so that when I fell down, I was hitting the button of pleasure inside me. Just from this little bit, drinking his blood while slowly fucking him was enough to make me feel like I was going to cum any second. It was dizzying, intoxicating.

“You’re so sexy,” He mutters, leaning in and licking my neck, sucking marks into the skin. “Watch you ride me like this is like a living wet dream,” He says biting into my skin.

I drank and I drank, starting to speed up as my eyes watered at the intense feeling. Chanyeol was just as bad, moaning and sweating, lips on my neck, other hand touching me anywhere he could.

“Stop,” He says, shaking the wrist I was drinking from. He watched me carefully, ready to use force if he needed.

It took all of my restraint and self control I had not to rip into his arm to drink more. I licked the wound, letting it heal as I pulled away, licking my lips and the left over blood.

He presses his lips to mine with no hesitation, my fangs already gone. With ease, Chanyeol pulled me off him, turning me and pushing me back down onto his cock. He smiles, his hair a little wild and his face flushed. “Ava, you have a wonderful ass,” He says, grabbing the cheeks of it and gripping, giving each a little slap. “I’ve wanted to see you like this for so long, just so I can watch it when I slap it,” He says, his voice deeper and husky as he pushes me so that I was on my hands and knees.

The slap to my ass this time was anything but soft. The sting was deliciously painful as I yell out in delight, looking back as I see him push into me. I moaned at the full feeling, pushing my hips back against his. “Chanyeol,” I moan, “Fuck, harder!”

“Your wish is my command,” He says, his voice deep and full of passion. He takes my arms, holding my wrists in his hands as he pulls me to him as he pushes in. “Getting fucked like this in a forest,” He growls, “What a little slut. Tell me you’re a slut, Ava.”

“I’m a slut,” I said, moaning, the sound of his hips snapping into mine echoing through the trees around us. “I’m the biggest slut for you, Chanyeol!”

I hear him chuckle, “God, do you do just anything someone asks of you? Are you that addicted to cock?”

“Only if they know how to use it,” I say, teasing back at him. I shivered, feeling him in me so deep. “Oh god, right there!” He was so thick that I was still gasping from the sensation. The slapping of skin echoed in the woods, along with our moans and shouts. I closed my eyes, arching my back letting him hit my g-spot over and over.

I clenched around him as I was getting close, hearing him moan curses out loud. “You filthy bitch,” Chanyeol growls, “God, your cunt practically sucks me in, begging for more.”

“Please,” I moan, feeling my breasts move with every single thrust. My knees hurt from the ground, but I didn’t care so long as he kept doing this.

“A bitch in heat isn’t even as desperate as you are,” He says, a growl in his chest as he does so. As it went on, he used more and more of his strength, making tears stream down my eyes at how powerful the thrusts were. My wrists still in his tight grip, him pulling me back as fast as he was pushing in. He moves, holding both of my wrists with one hand. I feel him grab my hair, yanking it, pulling so my back arched just a bit more, making his cock hit me at an even better angle. Chanyeol’s dirty talking just making me feel even hotter somehow, “Taemin was right about you,” He says with a growl, “You get so wet and sloppy it feels like I’m fucking you after ten men cummed in you.”

“Oh fuck yes,” I yell, feeling like my entire body was lit in euphoria.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, you little slut,” He asks, slamming his hips into me even harder as I scream. “Should we all just make a train and fuck you one after the other, filling you up?”

“Please, yes Chanyeol please,” I say, tears falling from my eyes even more.

“I can just imagine it, cum pouring out of your cunt from being fucked so many times, over and over. You want that, you filthy whore,” He says, speeding up again. Just the thought of that happening along with everything else Chanyeol did to me wasenough for me to finally tumble. I choked on my moans, feeling my orgasm crash around me. I was shivering and sobbing from the feeling as he kept fucking me, hitting the place in me with every thrust that drove me wild. I was shaking, tears dripping down my face and neck from being fucked so hard and thorough. His name left my lips in loud screams, shaking and my world piratically spinning.

A few more of his thrusts as he pulled out, sliding his cock in between the cheeks of my ass as he groaned. I could feel the cum, warm and thick all on my cheeks and lower back.

His hand let go of my arm, moving and going around my waist to keep me from collapsing on the grass. He moves, laying down on the grass and moves me so that I was using him as a pillow. His chest still heaving, his skin covered in sweat.

I laugh, “Well, I didn’t know you were an ass man, “ I say between gasps.

He laughs, “Absolutely. They’re just so nice to grab,” He says, taking a fist of my mine, shaking it a little as a demonstration.

I moved, whining as I still feel needy. Minseok was right, this is nothing to make lightly.

Chanyeol looks at me, “You’re insatiable.” He says, flipping us over so that I was on my back. I just grinned, getting ready for even more. He smirks, putting my legs over his shoulders winking, his tongue swiping up my center as I screamed, still over sensitive as I grip onto his hair for my life.

Minseok smiles, hearing the sounds even as he was inside. Chanyeol was damn good in bed, he can attest to that. He just wants to make the person he’s with feel good, and he does. Though nothing really beats the site of Chanyeol under you, being an adorable sub. It’s rare, but an absolute treat. He turns back, still holding the phone in his hand as he was listening. He placed the phone down, the speaker on. “I told you, she’s ok. She’s actually doing a lot better than most newborns.”

“I… I’m just worried,” Junmyeon says over the phone, sighing.

Minseok could hear the exhaustion in his friend's voice. The vampire was worried for his boss, and he made sure that the merman knew it. “At least now you won’t have to worry. Our little ex-human isn’t made of glass anymore. But forget that for a moment, what did Yixing and Sehun find out?”

“Using magic, they saw that it was Aisir’s soon to be bride,” Junmyeon says, and Minseok could hear how much he loathed them right now. “She was a shapeshifter, turned into Sehun and told Ava I told the fake Sehun to make sure she got home safe.”

He frowns, glaring as he crushes the now empty can of carbonated water in his hand. Minseok growls, “That… that is exactly something you would do.I bet Sehun was angry about her pretending to be him.”

“He’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him before,” The merman says, “He’s livid. You know him, when he gets angry his eyes just start to rapidly flash into different colors and I’m pretty sure that hasn’t stopped since yesterday.”

“Nope,” Minseok could hear a voice say in the room. The shapeshifter was there. Good. Minseok smiled knowing that Sehun took his words about making sure their boss was ok to heart.

“The real concern was the blade,” Junmyeon says, as Minseok could hear the squeak of his office chair as he sat down. “It’s not normal magic. It was made by Lucifer, using the rib bone that was taken from Adam. He found tit and corrupted it, apparently. It belonged to hell knights. Jongin’s had an encounter with it before it gotten into the hands of the Ventures.”

Minseok nods, “The scar on his back. Fuck, things always get more complicated when biblical shit is thrown in.”

“He said that after he was stabbed, it showed him all the people he cared about him, telling him he was worthless and that he was to blame for all their misfortunes,” Junmyeon says, “I… God, I can’t imagine Ava going through that.”

“Was that before or after,” Minseok asks, trying to keep Junmyeon’s mind on the task at hand and not Ava suffering.

“Taemin saved him from it by turning him,” the merman said, as Minseok could hear him place a glass on the wood of his desk. “The stab wound Jongin had wasn’t as bad as Ava’s, apparently. He had the time to get over the shock. This just makes things even worse for us. The only thing that powerful is an archangel blade.”

“Which, should I remind you, The only ones of us who could hold it is… well, you, Yixing and the wolves,” Minseok says, “And even then, it would burn all of you.”

“That’s not exactly true,” He says, “I’ve found one. It’ll take some time to get here, though. Expensive, but worth it.”

“Taemin, Jongin, Sehun, Baekhyun and Jongdae are all forms of demons. I’m a vampire,” Minseok explains, “We’ll get incinerated immediately if we try to use it.”

He could practically hear Junmyeon struggle to hold back what he meant. Minseok understood. There was something he didn’t know, and if he didn’t know it meant that he made a promise not to speak of it.

“You can tell him,” A small voice says from his side, Sehun, now closer to the phone.

“Sehun has archangel blood in him,” Junmyeon says, quietly. “They mixed creatures with him when they had him. It’s how he broke out of the siren’s call.”

Minseok’s eyes widen, this is... a game changer. No wonder why, when they’ve fought together, Ventures seemed scared of him. Down right terrified. It all made sense now. “Holy shit. If he gets that blade-”

“Nothing on earth could stop me,” Sehun says, the fury in his voice makes Minseok terrified for a moment. “And nothing will. I’m sick of these people hurting all the people I care about.”

Minseok looks, seeing Ava and Chanyeol walking out of the forest. Their faces flushed and hair a mess. He smiles, seeing Ava button her pants and Chanyeol was pulling his shirt over his body, “I’ve got to go. Keep me updated.”

“Will do,” Junmyeon says, nodding. “Please, just… make sure they don’t try anything.”

Minseok smirks, “Of course. For my good deeds and loyalty, you and Ava can name your first born after me in honor of my great deed.”

Junmyeon just hung up, making Minseok laugh. He could, in his mind, see Junmyeon’s blushing face and Sehun laughing beside him. Ava walked in, grinning when she saw Minseok as Chanyeol went immediately to get some water and something to eat.

The call with Junmyeon has scared him, but was also reassuring. He glanced at his new fledgling, pride over flowing as he saw how well she was handling this. The woman who had no self control, gave into all of her vices constantly and daily, somehow had a lot of it when it came to, well, stop from violently hurting innocent people. He made a mental note to ask Chanyeol how she acted when he told her to stop. He could smell the sweat and the sex coming from them, watching as they joked around with one another.

Minseok felt a need to protect Ava. She was his family now, after all. His sole duty before was whatever he wanted and to feed. Now, he felt it, deep in his heart that he will do anything he can to protect his friend.

He watched as they’re still smiley, Ava flirting and Chanyeol flirting back. It seems as if Ava is still reeling, probably turned on naturally instead of her from the blood now. Minseok left before anything could get heated up further. He didn’t want to risk biting her mid sex, again. He wanted to so badly before. He was curious about what Luhan meant, and when he kissed her with her cut lip, he felt a tiny sliver of it. It called to him, telling him to experience something new for the first time in decades.

He didn’t want to. Not now, at the very least. He has to make sure she heals properly.

So, instead, he got into his car after telling Chanyeol he was leaving. He knew the wolf would stay there. The man cared for his friends and wanted to make sure Ava didn’t hurt anyone or herself. The promise of perhaps more sex also a factor, but he knew Chanyeol’s heart was there for the right reasons.

Minseok needed a break. For a week straight he’s been anxious, worried and scared about what would happen. He’s been tense and stressed, and needed some relief.

Minseok quickly dialed a number on his phone, the person he goes to a lot to fuck out this thoughts and feelings. After promising to tell the fae that he will, indeed, tell him about all that’s happened, Yixing invites him over for the night. He glanced back at the house, seeing Chanyeol holding Ava, their lips pressed together as he was carrying her into a guest room.

“Bizarre,” He mutters, smiling at them as he, through the still open door facing the wall of glass, could see Ava get to her knees. “Very bizarre.”

Throughout his life, though, Minseok found that the people who are strange and bizarre make for the best of friends and the strongest of bonds.

#exo smut #exo fanfiction #xiumin smut #chanyeol smut #exo fanfic #exo scenarios

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the-blue-closett · 3 years

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living you just need to set I drive element before for bumblebee to it’s a lot I really really really well received they do is for the best Transformers movie badly is also getting a response is a great thing I want to be like I like all these films I wanted to Transformers film for yearsand never had one that I liked so I’m excited about all the things doing well because I need you Transformers for families to play with the toys as a kid on the big model phantom of being DC fan actually bombed after Spira saying I goddamn I guess so he can make it Spiderman movies like they did not morning feeling to yet on I just love that movie you are writing here thing to you think wholesale like appearance anymore just to see Aquaman with a slightly older children or something like that because like there is still listing of all it made it felt like I was I saw Spiderman from the old animated film smart into the spider yet everything is referring to the American girl despite it was and or 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happening we should started to slowly people that we love maybe we do the creamy maybe we pictureand I don’t particularly people down now if anything else youand then there’s a lot of very diverse films down the pipeline on which we’ll talk about but you mention not doing Henry is still soups according to himand he called his boy Henry is our last video answering the cell yes Jeffrey were were playing in real time the fans are seeing it with you all great D that is technology technologically back that he looks more comfortable doing this than on S L I would say you click as I had to go on on onand they were moments I mean some people may for that kind of thing to me by writing he was underserved by the writing it was like one of my favorite bits was like very much later in the shell is one of the last ones he was the father yeah we actually the only time actually laughed out loudand me maybe one of the prerecorded pieces yes S L in general it’s been backloaded which is so weird I used to be who watches after update going back to what mama last will quell me if you just talk character to character 100 this is Schrödinger’s Supermanand that he is both Supermanand not Superman until we have word on being a Superman meeting that he fired you but there’s also no new Superman plan so he’s both deadand alive as Superman much like Schrödinger’s you open the box he’s in a state of things with you yeah I mean as well I hated that point because people asking earlier in the week the Molokai said you know if bands like is done of Henry candles that may be just a point where they are in their career they readand he was being very kind to pray for careerand three you want to have live more than enough on the stage leaving the area live for a guy to meand my favorite conferencesand I think of what would be my favorite just be our most recent trainer is a gazillion of the performers out yesterdayand maybe whenever I try to do here was it’s not even the applicant about right all alland thinking before then all McGinnis to bring from them overand at this point I want Ellen a leader in younger more you know into a Batman is hard for me to see past it has been I really do like lead into a certain extent but at this point all this time if he was now on the other side he wasand be on the audience to out of the Batman movie American it be out but I just like so much time is past I think the reason the time is passing they had made any official announcement is good they want to make it less of a big deal when he when it when they do announce charges to the same man by saying that they actually light has mass doctorsand I’m with you but I do study in between ideas by parents yes I sure did as he used it produced found that very much cemented by the perimeter learning over there after gaining asking that it looks like very much like the man of steel trailer but but but but were warped little bit which we seen beforeand like him fixed limiting comics in comics before like the anti See Other related products: Laying Pipe As Big As You Want As Deep As You Need T Shirt

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sayonaramidnight · 7 years

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Headcanon prompts - for Kirara and Ithel, ALL the points you haven't done yet. Enjoy. I know you will.

Right. Now watch out, self, and remember you’ve got a whole big cast, don’t forget about them, don’t forget… *epic fail*

Replying to these:

1. Love

She has a higher regard for family love than for romantic love, because the latter is as fleeting as it is destructive. That’s what serial stories and high-life gossip taught her.

(Done)

2. Hate

She finds it exhausting.

He finds it motivating.

3. Hopes

There must be a way to activate her mentor’s spellbook and she’s going to find it sooner or later!

Magic. Freedom. Kirara?

4. Fears

(Done)

He was frightened when his mentor told him what he was and what he could do. Then he learnt how to live with that fear. Then he learnt how to block it out. Finally, he learnt how to be feared.

5. Crying

Is it even possible to pass a crying child by without at least asking what happened?

…No. No, it isn’t.

6. Laughter

If you managed to make her laugh, you would find out it’s very melodious.

(Done)

7. Travel

Sure, she’s all for travelling, but only if someone with persuasive skills drags her out of Brimen, because she has Duties and a Promise To Keep.

He used to travel quite a lot, because at some point he needed to take a break from Velda and try learning some new foreign magic stuff. It was both enjoyable and illuminating stage of his life, but in the end he missed home.

8. Dreams

(Done)

Same old, same old. You know, Velda filled with magic again. As for sleeping dreams, he’d rather not talk about them.

9. Music

She envies Amalie, who can play the violin. The music is haunting and the bow is a bit like a magical wand, isn’t it?

The livelier, the better.

10. Art

Theatre is a form of art too! It doesn’t even need elaborative props (although they sure are a pleasure to your eyes); all it takes is acting and imagination.

Colours. They are important. He learnt to appreciate them after two years of being blind.

11. Best friend

Two, in fact - Darrik the mayor’s son and Joss the gnome. They studied magic together. Darrik is outgoing and affable, while Joss is thoughtful and meticulous. The only people who are allowed to call her “Kiki”. They always stuck together, until Joss left Brimen with their mentor.She’s never had any female friend, but Amalie has been recently making attempts on becoming the first one. Time will tell.

(Done)

12. Worst enemy

(Done)

The queen? The asshole in his dungeon? Or the Thing In His Staff? The choice is wide.

13. Hair

Used to be longer when she was a child, but now she prefers to keep it short for comfort.

When he was a boy, the girl he was raised with approach him with a book of fairy tales and said: “Why aren’t you blond? All the princes in fairy tales are blond!”. He couldn’t find a suitable answer.

14. Eyes

Emerald green and sparkling; they’re what she likes best about herself.

When Shavli asked him what he wanted his new eyes to look like, he said: “impressive”. Now they’re so impressive they make Kirara freak out.

15. Hands

She cracks her joints when she’s nervous.

The royal guards in Taravin broke his fingers before he could cast any spell.

16. Smile

Dazzling, but very hard to achieve.

Seems hardly genuine, but it may be because of his eyes - they make him hard to read.

17. Scars

Thankfully she doesn’t have any. She finds them painful to even look at.

Probably a lot more than those on his face. Shavli offered to remove them, but he didn’t want to owe her more than the eyes.

18. Winter

Way too cold. Should be forbidden.

Quiet winter nights have a unique charm and just ask for a long walk or ride.

19. Summer

She’d love to travel far south one day. They say it’s actually hot there!

It’s both when he was born and when he got imprisoned. He has a complicated relationship with summers.

20. Spring

Early spring, when everything is still waking up, is her favourite time of year. Even though she can’t trust the weather.

Hay fever. There’s no escape from hay fever.

21. Autumn

She looks like autumn, but her eyes are spring. That’s what Amalie once told her.

All the autumns of his childhood included animals made of chestnuts and acorns. Later he taught his mentor how to make them. She was delighted. He was proud.

22. Family

One father figure. No mother figure. Some abandonment issues.

He lost his parents to a grave illness and was raised by a foster family - the people who served his ancestors for generations. They were kind and protective… until one of them betrayed him.

23. Romance

Drev hits on her all the time, but she doesn’t take him seriously.

Irrelevant right now. There are other R-words that matter more.

24. Orientation

She’s more inclined to fall in love with personality than gender.

It’s not the top priority for him to figure out. He’s never been attracted to other men, but on the other hand, he had no luck with women.

25. Religion

She knows quite a lot about gods, but has never found one for herself to worship.

The goddess his family used to worship disappeared ages ago. If he was inclined to pray, he would probably pray to the spirits of his ancestors and his mentor.

26. Beauty

(Done)

He looks for it in broken or unfinished things. Maybe it’s because he can relate.

27. Sleep

Always alert, in case someone in need calls for her.

(Done)

28. Home

(Done)

His ancestors’ old estate in Atruena. And its reflection hidden between dimensions.

29. Bedroom

The top floor of her mentor’s tower is both a bedroom and a library. Quite a cosy place.

Very tidy and barely used. In many shades of blue.

30. Sex

She knows several recipes for aphrodisiacs. And several more ways to decrease libido, because there are more people who need it than you might think.

Honestly, there are more efficient ways to reduce stress.

31. Death

She doesn’t take it well. And despises killers.

(Done)

32. Birth

Her mentor sent her to assist at births ever since she was old enough. He said he’d never be qualified enough.

When his mentor was expecting a baby, she asked him to help pick a name. It made him angry at first. And resentful.

33. Safe

(Done)

What?

34. Affection

She needs it, but is not used to showing it, not to mention receiving it.

He was a cuddly, enthusiastic kid and all that cuddliness and enthusiasm is still deep down there, waiting.

35. Guilt

She left Brimen in dire circumstances. She wasn’t responsible for them, but she felt responsible. It was her hometown after all, and she was its witch.

(Done)

36. Sacrifice

(Done)

He sacrificed his eyes for his goal. He can sacrifice other people’s safety, if that’s what it takes. He will be ready to sacrifice his own life at the end. Unless someone stops him. Maybe.

37. Vengeance

If her mentor is not safe and sound, his captor WILL PAY.

He insists it’s not the main reason for his revolution. Of course he does. But queen Mairi should be very afraid.

38. Sympathy

It’s sometimes hard to keep it in her line of work. But it’s also important not to lose it.

If you want to show him your sympathy, show it to his cause.

39. Secret

(Done)

He thinks he may not survive the revolution, but doesn’t tell anyone. It would discourage his people. Or encourage some of them in a wrong way.

40. Scent

She likes the scent of old books. And of new books, for that matter.

(Done)

41. Memory

Oh, she does have very good memory. Not only is she a quick learner when it comes to magic, but she can also memorize all her favourite lines from every stage play she’s ever seen, altogether with the way they were said. She loves practising them when no one’s watching.

(Done)

42. Loss

Sometimes she had to help other people to deal with their loss, so she knows all the theory, but it doesn’t mean she’s prepared.

His mentor died trying to rescue him and he couldn’t fully deal with it until Kirara appeared.

#grumpy-jedi #replies #Mainstream Fantasy Shit #I'm fascinated with their approach to these prompts #sometimes similar #sometimes totally different #like the 'memory' thing #is all about childhood memories to him #while she's like 'I KNOW ALL THE HEROINE'S LINES IN THAT STAGE PLAY BY HEART'#I love them

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happyweddingblogs · 4 years

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List of 50 wedding superstitions across the world

Weddings in any culture, religion, state, country, and continent are a blend of ancient rituals, traditions, customs, faiths and beliefs. Every culture and religion in the world follow their own set of beliefs and rituals during their wedding traditions. However, not just beliefs there are superstitions as well.

Well, in this post I am sharing with you the list of wedding superstitions followed across the world

1. During the wedding, the happy couple in Greece hand out sugar-coated almonds, which is called ‘koufeta’, to their guests. The white part of the almond symbolizes purity, the egg shape stands for fertility. The hardness of the almond represents the endurance of marriage, and the sugar in almonds represents the sweetness of married life. It is to wish the newly married couple “happiness, children, health, wealth, and a long life.” According to tradition here, if an unmarried girl take the blessed snacks and sleep with it under her pillow for three nights, she’ll see her future husband!

2. In Egypt, during a wedding, the hands of the couple are tied to depict the union of two souls.

3. Saturday is considered the unluckiest day for tying the knot in English culture.

4. According to the Greeks and Romans, a veil worn by Christian brides on their face during the wedding protects them from the evil spirits who were jealous of her happiness.

5. In order to ensure long marriages, couples in Italy attempt to break a vase or glass during their wedding. And this tradition actually states that the number of pieces the glass will be smashed in will determine the number of years they will be happily wed. More number of pieces means more number of years.

6. During an Egyptian wedding, all women wedding guests would pinch the bride before the wedding and this is considered a sign of good luck in Egypt.

7. According to Hindu wedding traditions, brides are not allowed to take their old clothes on their wedding. They have to distribute all their old clothes to their siblings, cousins, or to anybody else.

8. Many English traditions consider finding an eight-legged creature (spider) in/on couple’s wedding outfit a sign of good luck. I am sure people might get scared for a while

9. In Indian weddings, while leaving their house with their partners, newly brides throw rice back to their house without looking back. And the tradition states that even after the daughter of the family (i.e. bride) is gone to her new house, her family will always prosper and be happy. Because girls are considered LAKSHMI (which literally means money & prosperity) in most traditions in India.

10. In Indian weddings rice is thrown on the newlyweds to welcome them at the groom’s house.

11. In Czech Republic, peas are thrown on the newly-weds for welcoming them.

12. Believe it or not, any bride who passes the path of a monk, nun or any such religious figure will have a life of poverty and infertility after her wedding.

13. Wearing “something old” symbolizes the bride’s past, while the “something new” represents the couple’s happy future. The bride in English tradition is supposed to get her “something borrowed” from someone (who is happily married) in the hope that, that person’s good fortune will come to her as well. While, “Something blue” denotes fidelity and love.

14. Bride & Groom seeing each other before the marriage is considered a bad omen in most of Indian weddings, especially in the arranged marriages. However, the tradition is changed to a great extent, now couples meet each other before their wedding. Earlier, it was believed that if the couple saw each other before the ceremony, chances are they may change their minds about the wedding.

15. Brides after their mehndi ceremony in India cannot move out of their house to avoid evil spirits.

16. Brides are not allowed to write or use their married name or monogram before their wedding, it is believed that if she does so the wedding will not take place.

17. In one province of China, brides are supposed to spend an hour a day crying in the months leading up to the nuptials day. However, in another, couples have to slaughter a chicken to find out the perfect wedding date. And in some regions there couples are not allowed to attend another wedding, a funeral, or to visit a woman who’s just delivered the baby in the three months before their big day in order to avoid a clash of good fortune.

18. According to South African wedding traditions, the bride’s parents along with the groom carry a fire from their own hearths to the newlywed couple’s hearths and light it.

19. According to old tradition, a knife should not be given as a gift on a wedding as it signifies a broken relationship and bad luck. If somehow knives are on your registry, in that case you can give the gift giver a penny or a small amount. And then it will become a purchase, not a gift.

20. This one is from Medieval Europe, in order to avoid bringing in any evil spirits, the groom used to carry the bride into their new home. As, it was believed that a bride was extra vulnerable to evil spirits, especially through the soles of her feet.

21. In some cultures, it is supposed to be good luck for the bride to cry on her wedding day. As, it simply states that the bride has shed all her tears and do not have any to shed during her marriage. So brides don’t mind crying, apply waterproof make-up and get teary

22. In the Hindu wedding tradition, the color of the henna or Mehndi that the bride applies on her hands depicts how much or not her future mother-in-law and husband will love her. It is believed that the darker the color of the henna, the stronger will be the bond of love and affection between the daughter-in-law and mother –in- law, and the couple, and the lighter the color, the lesser the bond!!

23. In most of the cultures the brides stand on the left of the groom, because in the olden days, the groom had to win his bride, and for that he needed his right hand free to fight the other swain in line.

24. According to English traditions, for a blissful married life Wednesday is the ideal day to get married.

25. Brides in Mexico aren’t all dressed in white. Many brides sew three colorful ribbons to their undergarments. These three colors are yellow, blue, and red. A yellow ribbon symbolizes the blessing of food, blue represents financial luck, and red is meant to have a passionate relationship.

26. In Scotland, brides before getting dressed in white, must first be drenched in slime. Pre-nuptials, the bride’s friends and her groom slather on her all the smelly foods such as, curdled milk, rotten eggs, and fish sauces. The tradition is meant to prepare couples for the hardships of married life. Also, it is done to avoid evil spirits.

27. In India, brides and grooms are bathed with turmeric and curd based ubtan on the day of their wedding. The tradition is said to be done in order to have clear and glowing skin and to purify themselves.

28. In Morocco, brides take a bath with milk to purify themselves.

29. In Poland, brides are supposed to pay close attention to their footwear. According to the tradition in Poland, if the bride wears open-toed heels on her wedding their future wealth and fortune would fly right through the opening.

30. In Egypt, for an entire week after the wedding, the newlyweds are given their time to relax and do whatever they wish to do, and the family of the bride does all the cooking.

31. In North Indian weddings, brides are not allowed to choose or see their own chooda (a set of bangles meant for the bride) until they get dressed in their bridal outfits. Seeing her chooda before her wedding is considered to be a bad omen for the bride and her new beginning.

32. In North India, Punjabi brides are supposed to wear their wedding chooda for at least a forty-five days to a year after their wedding.

33. According to Hindu tradition, heavy rainfall on the wedding day symbolizes fertility, cleansing, good luck and fortune.

34. In some cultures, pearls are considered as a symbol of wealth and love, but in Nicaraguan brides are not allowed to touch them. According to the Latin cultures, pearls stands for “tears of the sea” and wearing them on your wedding day is bad as it is the sign of sadness that is likely to show up in your married life as well.

35. In Kenya, the Maasai people drench newlyweds with good fortune. The father of the bride here spits on her head and chest while she leaves the village with her new husband. The act simply means, by acting disrespectfully, rather than heaping the couple with praise, they avoid alluring fate and bringing bad luck to the newlywed couple.

36. As part of their pre-wedding celebrations, Indian brides apply henna to their hands and feet in a pre-wedding ceremony called Mehndi. More often than not, the groom’s initial or the name is included in the elaborate henna designs. If the groom is able to locate his name or initials on the wedding night, the couple is thought to have good luck.

37. Like Indian brides, brides in the Middle East apply henna on their hands and feet in order to keep the evil eye away from them.

38. In Holland, a Pine tree is planted outside the house of the newlywed couple in order to bring them luck and also planting of Pine tree symbolizes fertility.

39. This is really amazing. Brides in Sweden according to the traditions, take a silver coin from her father and a gold coin from her mother and place them in her shoes. The tradition states that the bride will never be without money ever.

40. In France, there is a unique tradition of keeping the bad luck away and the tradition is called La Soupe. According to the tradition the wedding guests will gather the leftovers from the reception, or some tasty treats like champagne and chocolates—and place them into a toilet or toilet-like bowl for the bride and groom to eat. Well… No words

41. Well, this is one-of-its-kind wedding tradition, where to have good luck by their side after the wedding, couples let a cat eat some food from their shoe (the best would be the left shoe).

42. According to some wedding superstition, if a single unmarried women sleep with a slice of a wedding cake (of course from a wedding they attended) they can dream of their future husband.

43. Well, in almost all the cultures wedding gifts are given by wedding guests only. But in the Finnish tradition, the bride personally goes door to door in order to collect her wedding gifts that too in a pillowcase and she is accompanied by an older married man. The tradition simply signifies a long-lasting married life.

44. In many cultures, if the younger sister is getting married before the older one, because the older sister couldn’t get wedding alliance, then the older sister should dance barefoot at her younger sister’s wedding to get the groom.

45. Well, the very famous trend of cutting the wedding cake on the wedding has come from Rome. In olden days wedding guests would place a loaf of bread on the bride’s head and break it in order to ensure fertility.

46. In most of the western countries, June weddings are very popular. And the reason behind June weddings is – The Roman goddess Juno, who is considered to rule over marriage, childbirth and the hearth.

47. Most of the weddings in Indian system happens in Brahma Muhurta as it is considered the best time to do any ceremonial act or to get hitched.

48. In Irish weddings, bells are traditionally chimed to keep evil spirits away and to ensure a harmonious married life.

49. In most Indian wedding traditions, seven rounds by the fire are taken by the couple during their wedding as it is considered auspicious. And in all the seven rounds they make promises or say their wedding vows to each other that they follow after their wedding. Promise like, they will respect each other etc.

50. According to Irish traditions, ringing bells symbolizes good luck and hence, Irish brides carry small bells in their bouquets as a reminder of their sacred wedding vows after the wedding. Ringing bells are a common gift for newlyweds here.

Wrapping up,

However, superstitions are now sloping down in almost every culture, religion and country in the world. Now it is absolutely up to the couples whether they want to follow them or not. But if you feel that doing or not doing a particular thing or ritual will ensure a happy marriage and fertility, then you are absolutely free to follow these rituals. The idea is to have a happy married life, and this is up to you absolutely. If you feel following them do them, if not then simply chuck them…

Happy Wedding… Source: Happy Wedding App

#Wedding #weddings #superstition #ritual #indian #traditional #wedding cake #cultures #wedding tradition #Morocco #Mexico #wedding gifts #North Indian weddings #Poland #Scotland #English traditions #Indian weddings #China #Egypt

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disappearingground · 5 years

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Rebound, rediscovery, rebirth: How Jenny Lewis made her best album in more than a decade

Washington Post March 15, 2019

Singer Jenny Lewis’s new album “On the Line” is her best work since her 2006 solo debut, “Rabbit Fur Coat.”

By Allison Stewart

Jenny Lewis has one of those faces. If you were to run into her in her natural habitat — a vintage clothing store or Whole Foods — you might recognize her, even if you’re not sure from where.

Lewis has spent almost her entire life lingering at the edges of everyone’s collective consciousness, first as a child actor, then as indie pop’s mid-’00s queen. “People think they know me personally, or we’re related, or from commercials that I was in as a child,” she says. “I just have a familiar face, because I’m weirdly Zelig-y.”

A few years back, Lewis and her longtime boyfriend, fellow singer-songwriter Johnathan Rice, broke up. It had been the formative, defining relationship of her life so far — they were practically married — and its dissolution forced her to look at the world in a new way, and to reassess the way the world looked at her.

“Can you imagine being 40 years old and thrust upon the digital dating scene after a 12-year relationship that started before cellphones?” Lewis asks. She couldn’t either, until it happened. She’s 43 now, just starting to find her footing, to figure out what she wants in a partner, and what the rest of her life might look like.

Many regular guys are afraid of her, rich guys seem unappealing (“I don’t date for the money. What’s the opposite of that?”), and she’s more famous than most of the artists she knows, which is potentially a problem. She reluctantly attended a JDate speed-dating event once because her godfather wanted her to meet a nice Jewish doctor. “It was way too weird,” she says, but at least no one recognized her.

The breakup and its painful, hopeful, way-too-weird aftermath are among the main subjects of Lewis’s new album “On the Line,” her best work since her 2006 solo debut, “Rabbit Fur Coat.” “It’s kind of like a play,” says Lewis, over lunch at the L.A. Farmers Market, over the hill from her Studio City home. “It begins with the breakup, and it’s rebound, rediscovery, rebirth, death, autonomy.”

In person, Lewis is vulnerable and disarming and warm. She won’t answer every question, but she seems like she’s at least considering it. She wears a mechanic’s jumpsuit and a trucker hat atop her familiar curtain of Marianne Faithfull bangs. She looks like the world’s sultriest gas station attendant.

After her breakup, Lewis moved to New York City. She stayed at her friend St. Vincent’s place in the East Village, and hung out with her girlfriends Erika Forster and Tennessee Thomas at Thomas’s venue, the Deep End Club. (The women formed a trio, played their first show at a Bernie Sanders rally, and released a self-titled album, “Nice as F---,” in 2016. It was probably a one-off.)

Lewis remembers watching a video of Ringo Starr and Harry Nilsson playing on the roof of the Capitol Records building circa 1974, with Ringo wearing a bright blue onesie with a star on the front. She must have watched this video a thousand times back then, because God, she loves Ringo, and she’s also partial to onesies.

During this the time, Lewis had taken to wearing Come to Me oil, an herbal compound she’d bought in a neighborhood potions shop. After acquiring the oil, you’re supposed to set an intention, something you want to happen — “You have to be very careful with it” — and then you wait.

She wasn’t trying to bring forth anyone in particular, she just wanted a good thing to happen; Ringo wound up playing drums on “On the Line” not too long after that. “I feel like I conjured Ringo,” she says. (Note: Maybe! But Don Was, the super-connected super producer who contributed to the album, also might have brought him aboard.)

“On the Line” was made in stages, and features production by Ryan Adams and Beck, working separately. In the days before this interview, Adams was accused of emotionally abusing and harassing female musicians.

Lewis says her relationship with Adams was strictly professional and is reluctant to say much more, but this is basically what happened: Adams began work on Lewis’s last album, 2014’s “The Voyager,” but could not be persuaded to finish. Lewis reenlisted him to produce “On the Line,” hoping things would work out differently. They didn’t.

“We began the record together two years ago, and after five or six days in the studio we stopped working together,” Lewis says, carefully. “I took the record and finished those songs without him, and then went in the studio with Beck to record the rest of the songs.”

It was not an amicable break. “I was left in the lurch, and again this happens to me in my life, where I’m faced with getting back to myself and refocusing,” she says.

The juxtaposition between Adams and Beck, one of rock’s all-time reasonable men, was stark. “There are these figures that come along when I’m engaged in these unhealthy creative relationships,” Lewis says, “and they appear just long enough to say: ‘You can do this on your own. You’re good. I can help you, but it’s yours.’ ”

“On the Line” is slower and more muted than Lewis’s past albums; there are gently swinging retro-country ballads, mostly sad, with an emphasis on pianos and organs, the latter provided by Benmont Tench, former keyboardist for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Petty died during a break in the sessions, followed weeks later by the death of Lewis’s mother. Lewis had a complicated relationship with her mother, who struggled with heroin addiction and mental illness, and from whom she had been semi-estranged.

Weeks after her mother died, Lewis recorded the album standout “Little White Dove,” a bottom-heavy ballad about her final days. “I’m still afraid of a lot of things, but I don’t know if I’m afraid of dying,” she says. “Having been through that with my mother, that’s not as scary to me as it once was, which I think is a really liberating thing to go through. I’m afraid of cancer, I’m afraid of the archaic medical tools, but I’m not afraid of the other stuff.”

Growing up, Lewis’s home life had been tumultuous. She had worked fairly steadily as a child actress since the age of 3; in a Jell-O commercial, the Shelley Long comedy “Troop Beverly Hills,” the 1989 Fred Savage nerdfest “The Wizard.” She shared the screen with everyone from Angelina Jolie to Lucille Ball. “There was this normalcy on the set, and there was a meal, and the routine of it. Every time I’d start a new project, there would be a new family.”

Lewis’s father wasn’t a presence in her life, but his role was played by a series of reassuring ’80s television dads. “Corbin Bernsen, David Strathairn, Peter Scolari,” Lewis remembers. “These guys that played my dads, they were the best guys.”

Lewis found the same stability in Rilo Kiley, the band she and guitarist Blake Sennett (who was also a child actor, and her future ex-boyfriend), formed in the late-’90s. Bands, like film sets, were a makeshift source of shelter. When Lewis later heard that inmates in women’s prisons formed family units on the inside, she immediately understood — it was kind of like that on tour.

When Lewis recorded “Rabbit Fur Coat” with female backing duo the Watson Twins, things in Rilo Kiley were already rocky. The album, a country-gospel-soul mash-up that she estimates took five days to make, became a cultural sensation that changed the course of her career. At 30, she felt free for the first time. She and the Twins wore matching outfits onstage, and, unlike in Rilo Kiley, nobody yelled at each other. She couldn’t believe how easy it was. Rilo Kiley released one more album before disbanding.

Lewis has always felt that her songs are prophetic somehow, like they knew things that would happen to her before she did. She is still struck by the naivete of many of those early songs, but she wonders if she was setting intentions she didn’t know about. “I’m always surprised by my songs, at either how irrelevant or relevant they feel,” she says. “There’s hidden messages to myself in there. It’s like I’m singing to my future and past self.”

When Lewis was in her 30s, she wrote the “Voyager” track “Just One of the Guys,” a song about a perennial Cool Girl beginning to doubt her life choices (“When I look at myself all I can see / I’m just another lady without a baby”). The song wasn’t a hit, but it was a big deal, and it was accompanied by a buzzy video starring Kristen Stewart, Brie Larson, Tennessee Thomas and Anne Hathaway, a friend from her acting days.

Lewis says the song wasn’t biographical (“My songs aren’t the paper of record. There’s a lot of wiggle room in there”), and isn’t meant to seem sad — just matter of fact. But pop music is short on songs about women confronting their empty uteruses, and it struck a nerve with fans, who still ask her about it.

The further Lewis gets from the track, the closer she feels. She’s “a career girl and a survivalist,” on the road so much she can’t even get a dog. But she’s back living in Studio City now, in the house she lived in with Rice, a green and brown house called Mint Chip. Mint Chip has seen countless late-night jam sessions and dissolute ragers. Mint Chip is a vibe.

But the people Lewis rented it to during her time in New York had a baby there during her absence (they asked her first, it’s fine), and the idea of a baby in Mint Chip seems strangely not awful. At the very least, it’s a means of exorcising the house’s dark breakup juju.

Children aren’t something Lewis needs, or are something she is even sure she wants. But she wonders about them, especially lately, and she feels the weight of other people wondering, too.

“There’s so much anxiety around the subject,” she says, tapping meaningfully at an imaginary watch on her wrist. “This is all I talk about with my girlfriends. There’s biological pressure, there’s this sense that you aren’t a complete person. People kind of look at you weird, like, Auntie Mame-style. It’s not whether I want it or don’t want it, we’ll see where life takes me. My time ain’t up yet.”

#publication: washington post #album: on the line #year: 2019 #mention: breakup #mention: new york #person: ringo #person: beck #person: ryan adams #mention: mother's death #song: little white dove #mention: child acting #mention: rilo kiley #person: the watson twins #song: just one of the guys #mention: motherhood

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megers67 · 7 years

Text

The ULTIMATE Queen Prompt Pack

This may differ from normal prompt packs so I’ll explain how this will work. I’ll give the first entry above the Keep Reading line as an example. I’ll put the rest under so I can update as needed and so the post isn’t too long on the dash. They’re also in no particular order.

Entries will include a link to the official Queen music video (if not, then a youtube video with the music), a link to the lyrics on Genius (because the notes give cool insight that might help), and 3-5 lines to use as a quick prompt if you’d like (and will not simply be the title out of redundancy). The lyrics I choose will be based on what would give variety to those who choose to not follow the links rather than anything else. Take note that some songs are harder than others to find isolated lines that can function as a prompt on their own. I’m just doing my best!

Inspiration can be taken from the lyrics, the music, mood of the song, story of the song, music video, Freddy’s costumes, notes from Genius or pretty much anything. Let the inspiration come to you.

If you want, followers can send in specific songs (or lyrics) for you to use as starters for an RP or any other kind of prompt. Or you can just choose a song you want. Up to you.

1. Bohemian Rhapsody

Music

Lyrics

I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.

So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

2. Somebody to Love

Music

Lyrics

Each morning I get up I die a little.

I have spent all my years in believing you.

But everybody wants to put me down. They say I’m going crazy.

3. Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy

Music

Lyrics

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things.

I learned my passion in the good old fashioned school of lover boys.

Just take me back to yours that will be fine.

4. Tie Your Mother Down

Music

Lyrics

There’s no way I’m going to lose out this time.

I don’t need him nosing around.

In fact, I don’t think I ever heard a single little civil word from those guys.

5. Play the Game

Music

Lyrics

It’s so easy, all you have to do is fall in love.

Light another cigarette and let yourself go.

My game of love has just begun.

6. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Music

Lyrics

It cries (like a baby) in a cradle all night.

It shakes all over like a jellyfish.

[She] gives me a hot and cold fever.

7. Save Me

Music

Lyrics

The years belie, we lived a lie.

I am naked and I am far from home.

Was it all wasted? All that love?

8. Under Pressure

Music

Lyrics

These are the days it never rains but it pours.

Why can’t we give love?

Because love’s such an old-fashioned word.

This is our last dance.

9. Headlong

Music

Lyrics

And you’re rushing headlong out of control.

Let me out of this cheap B movie.

It ain’t no time to figure wrong from right.

10. The Show Must Go On

Music

Lyrics

Another hero, another mindless crime.

Does anybody want to take it anymore?

Whatever happens, I’ll leave it all to chance.

I’ll soon be turning round the corner now.

I’ll face it with a grin. I’m never giving in.

11. Fat Bottomed Girls

Music

Lyrics

Are you gonna let it all hang out?

I was just a skinny lad.

I seen every blue-eyed floozy on the way.

12. Bicycle Race

Music

Lyrics

I want to ride my bicycle.

Hey man, Jaws was never my scene and I don’t like Star Wars.

I don’t wanna be the President of America.

13. Don’t Stop Me Now

Music

Lyrics

Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time.

That’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit.

I’m a sex machine ready to reload.

14. One Vision (Extended Version)

Music

Lyrics

I’m gonna tell you there’s no black and no white.

Look what they’ve done to my dreams.

Just gimme gimme gimme gimme fried chicken.

15. Friends Will Be Friends

Music

Lyrics

It’s not easy, love, but you’ve got friends you can trust.

The other half ran away.

You’re getting used to life without him in your way.

16. Who Wants to Live Forever

Music

Lyrics

There’s no time for us. There’s no place for us.

There’s no chance for us.

Touch my world with your fingertips.

17. Princes of the Universe

Music

Lyrics

I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings.

I have no rival, no man can be my equal.

I’m here for your love and I’ll make my stand.

My power is in my own hand.

I know that people talk about me, I hear it every day.

18. Love of My Life

Music

Lyrics

You’ve stolen my heart, you now desert me.

Bring it back. Don’t take it away from me.

When I grow older, I will be there at your side to remind you how I still love you.

19. Too Much Love Will Kill You

Music

Lyrics

I’ve been facing this alone for much too long.

I feel like no one ever told the truth to me.

You’re headed for disaster.

You’re the victim of your crime.

It’ll make your life a lie.

20. I Want it All

Music

Lyrics

Got to find me a future. Move outta my way.

Just give me what I know is mine.

Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth.

21. Breakthru

Music

Lyrics

You’re starting something deep inside me.

If I could only reach you….

I break up with each and every one of your looks at me.

22. We Will Rock You

Music

Lyrics

You got mud on your face, you big disgrace!

You’re […] shouting in the street, gonnna take on the world someday.

Somebody better put you back into your place!

23. We Are the Champions

Music

Lyrics

I’ve done my sentence, but committed no crime.

I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I’ve come through.

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race.

24. Spread Your Wings

Music

Lyrics

Boy you’d better begin to get those crazy notions right out of your head.

That’s because you’re a free man.

You’ve got no real ambition, you won’t get very far.

25. I’m in Love with My Car

Music

Lyrics

All I hear is your gear.

So she made tracks saying this is the end now.

Cars don’t talk back.

26. You’re My Best Friend

Music

Lyrics

You’re my sunshine and I want you to know that my feelings are true.

I’m happy at home.

Whenever this world is cruel to me, I’ve got you to help me forgive.

27. The Prophet’s Song

Music

Lyrics

Beware the storm that gathers here.

Quicken to the new life, take my hand.

Late too late all the wretches run.

Who heed me not let all your treasure make you.

28. Killer Queen

Music

Lyrics

At anytime an invitation you can’t decline.

Guaranteed to blow your mind.

She’s all out to get you.

29. Now I’m Here

Music

Lyrics

And the people all stared, didn’t understand.

Whatever came of you and me

I love to leave my memory with you.

30. Stone Cold Crazy

Music

Lyrics

I’m smelling like a dry fish bone.

Got to get away from this stone cold floor.

Here come the deputy, he’s going to come and get to me.

31. Keep Yourself Alive

Music

Lyrics

It’ll take all your time and money.

Well I’ve loved a million women in a belladonic haze.

And I’ll grow a little bigger. Maybe that can be my goal.

32. White Queen (As it Began)

Music

Lyrics

Stars of lovingness in her hair.

My goddess hear my darkest fear.

So sad it ends as it began.

33. March of the Black Queen [TRIGGER WARNING: N WORD MENTION]

Music

Lyrics

Like going up to heaven then coming back alive.

Everything you do bears a will and a why and a wherefore.

I reign with my left hand, I rule with my right.

My life is in your hands, I’ll fo and I’ll fie.

To hell with all of you hand-in-hand.

34. Seven Seas of Rhye

Music

Lyrics

I descend upon your earth from the skies.

I stand before you naked to the eyes.

By flash and thunder-fire I’ll survive.

Then I’ll defy the laws of nature and come out alive.

35. Radio Gaga

Music

Lyrics

So don’t become some background noise.

You’ve had your time, you had the power.

So stick around, cause we might miss you.

36. It’s a Hard Life

Music

Lyrics

You win - you lose. It’s a chance you have to take with love.

They say it’s just a state of mind, but it can happen to anyone.

I’ll look back on myself and say I did it for love.

37. I Want to Break Free

Music

Lyrics

You’re so self satisfied, I don’t need you.

And this time I know it’s for real.

But I have to be sure when I walk out that door.

38. Hammer to Fall

Music

Lyrics

Lady Mercy won’t be home tonight.

Don’t hear the bell but you answer the call.

Convinced out voices can’t be heard, we just want to scream it louder and louder.

39. ‘39

Music

Lyrics

Don’t you hear my call though you’re many years away?

Write your letters in the sand for the day I take your hand.

Your mother’s eyes from your eyes cry to me.

All your letters in the sand cannot heal me like your hand.

40. Death on Two Legs (Dedicated To…) [TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE MENTION]

Music

Lyrics

You never had a heart of your own.

Have you found a new toy to replace me?

Put your money where your mouth is Mr. Know-All.

Was the fin on your back part of the deal? (Shark!)

You’re a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride.

41. Flick of the Wrist

Music

Lyrics

Intoxicate your brain with what I’m saying.

If not you’ll lie in knee-deep trouble.

Seduce you with his money-make machine.

42. A Kind of Magic

Music

Lyrics

No mortal man can win this day.

The waiting seems an eternity.

I’m hearing secret harmonies.

43. I Was Born to Love You

Music

Lyrics

I was born to love you with every single beat of my heart.

If I was given every opportunity, I’d kill for your love.

I’m caught in a dream and my dream’s come true.

44. Las Palabras de Amor (The Words of Love)

Music

Lyrics

Let me hear the words of love.

And all for fear, and all for greed.

But while we live, we’ll meet again.

45. Innuendo

Music

Lyrics

Don’t take offence at my innuendo.

Just turn yourself into anything you think that you could ever be.

Yes we’ll keep on trying. Tread that fine line.

46. Heaven for Everyone

Music

Lyrics

You come to me and everything seems alright.

This world could be free, this world could be one.

Just your smile could smooth my ride.

47. Flash

Music

Lyrics

He’ll save every one of us.

King of the Impossible

Just a man with a man’s courage

48. I’m Going Slightly Mad

Music

Lyrics

Are they trying to tell you something?

It finally happened.

To be honest you haven’t got a clue.

49. These are the Days of Our Lives

Music

Lyrics

When we were kids, when we were young, things seemed so perfect.

You can’t turn back the clock. You can’t turn back the tide. Ain’t that a shame

No use in sitting and thinking on what you did.

50. The Miracle

Music

Lyrics

The wonders of this world go on.

The one thing that we’re all waiting for is peace on Earth - an end to war.

The time will come one day you’ll see when we can all be friends.

#starter prompt #prompt #prompt pack #starter pack #ask meme #queen

3 notes · View notes

selenatorsphilippines · 7 years

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Selena Gomez on Instagram Fatigue, Good Mental Health, and Stepping Back From the Limelight

On an unusually wet and windy evening in Los Angeles, Selena Gomez shows up at my door with a heavy bag of groceries. We’ve decided that tonight’s dinner will be a sort of tribute to the after-church Sunday barbecues she remembers from her Texan childhood. I already have chicken simmering in green salsa, poblano peppers blackening on the flames of the stove, and red cabbage wilting in a puddle of lime juice. All we need are Gomez’s famous cheesy potatoes—so bad they’re good, she promises. She sets down her Givenchy purse and brings up, in gaudy succession, a frozen package of Giant Eagle Potatoes O’Brien, a can of Campbell’s Cream of Chicken soup, a bag of shredded “Mexican cheese,” and a squat plastic canister of French’s Crispy Fried Onions.

“I bet you didn’t think we were going to get this real,” she says, and when I tell her that real isn’t the first word that springs to mind when faced with these ingredients, she responds with the booming battle-ax laugh that offers a foretaste of Gomez’s many enchanting incongruities.

But real is precisely what I was expecting from the 24-year-old Selena, just as her 110 million Instagram followers (Selenators, as they’re known) have come to expect it. Of course, celebrity’s old codes are long gone, MGM’s untouchable eggshell glamour having given way to the “They’re Just Like Us!” era of documented trips to the gas station and cellulite captured by telephoto lenses. But Gomez and her ilk have gone further still, using their smartphones to generate a stardom that seems to say not merely “I’m just like you” but “I am you.”

“People so badly wanted me to be authentic,” she says, laying a tortilla in sizzling oil, “and when that happened, finally, it was a huge release. I’m not different from what I put out there. I’ve been very vulnerable with my fans, and sometimes I say things I shouldn’t. But I have to be honest with them. I feel that’s a huge part of why I’m where I am.” Gomez traces her shift toward the unfiltered back to a song she released in 2014 called “The Heart Wants What It Wants,” a ballad about loving a guy she knows is bad news. The title derives from a letter written by Emily Dickinson, though Woody Allen reintroduced the phrase when he used it to describe his relationship with Soon-Yi Previn. We can assume that Gomez is referring here to Justin Bieber, with whom she ended a three-year relationship at around the time the song debuted.

If you are over 30 and find yourself somewhat mystified by Gomez’s fame, unable to attach it to any art object—apart from several inescapable pop songs and a cameo in The Big Short in which, as herself, she explains synthetic collateralized debt obligations—then you might wish to watch the video for “The Heart Wants What It Wants.” (You will be late to the party; it received more than nine million views in the first 24 hours following its release.) Before the music begins, we hear Gomez’s voice as if from a recorded psychotherapy session, ruminating over a betrayal. “Feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself,” she says, her voice breaking, “and then it’d just be completely shattered by one thing. By something so stupid.” Sobs. “But then you make me feel crazy. You make me feel like it’s my fault.” Is this acting? Is it a HIPAA violation? Either way, there is magic in the way it makes you feel as if you’ve just shared in her suffering. Pay dirt for a Selenator.

Gomez queues up a playlist—Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers—and back in the kitchen, there is a chile relleno casserole to assemble, green enchiladas to roll, and her cheesy potatoes to mix together. As I slip an apron over her mane of chocolate-brown hair, for which Pantene has paid her millions, and tie it around her tiny waist, I wonder whether her legions have felt for years the same sharp pang of protectiveness that I’m feeling at present. Even as she projects strength and self-assuredness, Gomez is not stingy with frailty. “I’ve cried onstage more times than I can count, and I’m not a cute crier,” she says. Last summer, after the North American and Asian legs of her “Revival” tour, with more than 30 concerts remaining, she abruptly shut things down and checked into a psychiatric facility in Tennessee. (This was the second time Gomez had canceled a tour to enter into treatment; in January 2014, shortly after being diagnosed with lupus, she spent two weeks at the Meadows, the Arizona center that has welcomed Tiger Woods, Rush Limbaugh, and Kate Moss.) The cause, she says, was not an addiction or an eating disorder or burnout, exactly.

“Tours are a really lonely place for me,” she explains. “My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion. I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough. Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘Everybody, let’s pinky-promise that you’re beautiful!’ It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same shit they’re dealing with. What I wanted to say is that life is so stressful, and I get the desire to just escape it. But I wasn’t figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share. And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, This is a waste of time.”

On August 15, Gomez uploaded a photo of almost baroque drama: her body collapsed on the stage, bathed in beatific light. Whether this was agony or ecstasy, it drew more than a million comments from fans (who have handles like “selena_is_my_life_forever”). It would be her last Instagram post for more than three months. She flew to Tennessee, surrendered her cell phone, and joined a handful of other young women in a program that included individual therapy, group therapy, even equine therapy. “You have no idea how incredible it felt to just be with six girls,” she says, “real people who couldn’t give two shits about who I was, who were fighting for their lives. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was the best thing I’ve done.” She stayed for 90 days, making her first post-treatment appearance last November at the American Music Awards, where she collected the trophy for Favorite Pop/Rock Female Artist and gave a tearful speech about her struggles; it quickly went viral.

In the tearoom at the Peninsula Beverly Hills hotel, little girls in pinafores and pink high-tops sit on heavily tasseled sofas and drink sparkling apple juice out of champagne flutes. One by one they approach our table, shyness replaced by rapturous giggles as Gomez praises their pretty dresses and invites them to sit with her for a picture. Her seemingly infinite patience with these intrusions is something between a habit and a principle. “Somebody I used to hang out with would always get very frustrated with me,” she says, presumably referring to Bieber, whose name she will not utter. “But I have a hard time saying no to children.”

Donna Gigliotti, who produced The Fundamentals of Caring, a 2016 drama in which Gomez plays the love interest of a boy with muscular dystrophy, recalls the throngs of children ready to engulf her outside the set even in rural Georgia. “They love her because she is so generous and so authentic,” Gigliotti says. “I admit that I didn’t quite understand her huge fan base at first. Now I see her as a sort of third-generation feminist. She’s adorable and flirty and funny, but she’s also kind of kick-ass. I think her young fans go wild for that combination.”

“There’s a vulnerability about Selena,” says Paul Rudd, her costar in The Fundamentals of Caring. “She’s never trying to sell herself or impress anyone. She doesn’t put on airs, and she was a good sport about really long days in sometimes uncomfortable conditions. You’d never know she was so famous by the way she behaved, which, I think, is a huge key to her appeal.”

Doll-like and startled in pictures but almost breathtakingly at ease in person, Gomez was once described by her good friend Taylor Swiftas “both 40 years old and seven years old.” She grew up in Grand Prairie, Texas, raised by a single mother who was sixteen when she was born. Gomez remembers being asked to feel between the cushions in the car for change so that they could buy Styrofoam cups of ramen. But at age seven, after a few years on the pageant circuit, she landed a role on the children’s show Barney & Friends, which shot in Dallas and recruited talent locally. By twelve she was one of Disney’s young players, plucked out of thousands of hopefuls. At thirteen she moved to Los Angeles with her mother and stepfather, and the following year Disney gave her the lead in Wizards of Waverly Place, a sitcom about a family of wizards who own a downtown Manhattan restaurant. The show was a hit, and Disney did what Disney does, fanning Gomez’s talent across music and movies, with her mother, Mandy Teefey, continuing to act as her manager. (Gomez hired a Hollywood management firm in 2014, after her first mental-health crisis, but she continues to develop projects with her mother and prizes her opinion above all others.) “I worked with Disney for four years,” Gomez says. “It’s a very controlled machine. They know what they represent, and there was, 100 percent, a way to go about things.”

No child star enjoys easy passage through the morass of adolescence, and Gomez struggled to shed her blandly perky Wizards persona. “For a guy there’s a way to rebel that can work for you,” she believes. “But for a woman, that can backfire. It’s hard not to be a cliché, the child star gone wrong. I did respect my fans and what I had, but I was also figuring out what I was passionate about and how far I was willing to go.” The first thing she did post-Disney was Harmony Korine’s darkly lurid Spring Breakers, a 2013 film about four college girls on a rampage of sex, drugs, and murder. (Gomez played Faith, the one who can’t quite stomach it all and heads back early.) “My mom wanted me to work with a director who would really push me,” she recalls. “I watched Kids, Trash Humpers, Gummo, and I was like, Mom, are you crazy? But it was fun to imagine how you might behave if you were set free of whatever was holding you captive. I’m a late bloomer. I grew up around adults, but in terms of getting out, having friends—at times I really didn’t know anything but my job.”

In retrospect, Gomez’s childhood successes were always tinged with sadness. “My mom gave up her whole life for me,” she explains. “Where we’re from, you don’t really leave. So when I started gaining all this success, there was a guilt that came with it. I thought, Do I deserve this?” Though she has been in several other films since Spring Breakers, Gomez has enjoyed greater success as a musician. And yet the musician’s life exhausts her. On film sets she is buffered by the ensemble and can retreat into her character, but in a concert, all eyes fix upon her. “It’s weird,” she says, “to get up onstage and have everybody know where you were last night.”

With the tour and treatment behind her, lately Gomez is feeling unusually relaxed. The Netflix miniseries 13 Reasons Why, which she executive-produced, airs this month, and it addresses several issues dear to her, among them teen suicide and the pressures of social media. Eight years ago, Gomez and her mother reached out to Jay Asher, who wrote the novel from which the series has been adapted. Its title refers to the thirteen reasons why its protagonist, Hannah Baker, chose to take her life. “I didn’t know much about Selena back then,” Asher remembers. “I think I watched Princess Protection Program to prepare. She explained to me how deeply she connected to the book, which is really about how there’s no way to know what people deal with. In that very first meeting we talked about Twitter, and I remember her telling me that there’s this idea that celebrities aren’t supposed to notice or care about what’s being said about them. But she can’t help but care.”

Gomez has also been in the recording studio off and on, and in February she released “It Ain’t Me,” a song cut last November, produced by the Norwegian DJ Kygo. It’s both a dance-floor anthem and a polemic against dependency and enmeshment. (“Who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning?” she sings. “It ain’t me.” A few years back, it might well have been Gomez.) She is collaborating with Coach on a line of accessories, out this fall, and Stuart Vevers, the house’s creative director, recently met with her in Los Angeles for a bit of brainstorming. “There’s a very warm and inclusive way that Selena has with her fans,” Vevers says. “That’s the nature of her power. What fashion house wouldn’t want to tap into that?”

There are no movies in the works and no time pressure from her record label. “For a change,” she says, “it feels like I don’t have to be holding my breath and waiting for somebody to judge a piece of work that I’m doing. I’m not eager to chase a moment. I don’t think there’s a moment for me to chase.” Gomez currently lives in an Airbnb in the Valley and honestly doesn’t get out much, except for long drives with her girlfriends: a realtor, a techie, some folks from church. “I think seventeen people have my phone number right now,” she says. “Maybe two are famous.” She is taking Spanish, which she spoke fluently as a little girl but lost, in the hope of recording some Spanish-language music in the future. She sees her shrink five days a week and has become a passionate advocate of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a technique developed to treat borderline personality disorder that is now used more broadly, with its emphasis on improving communication, regulating emotions, and incorporating mindfulness practices. “DBT has completely changed my life,” she says. “I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”

She has hardly been posting on Instagram. In fact, the app is no longer on her phone, and she doesn’t even have the password to her own account. (It’s now in the possession of her assistant.) She sometimes fantasizes about disappearing from social media altogether. “As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out,” Gomez says. “It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about. I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”

Well, not entirely under the radar. A few days after we met, Gomez flew to Italy with her new beau, The Weeknd, and the paparazzi did not fail to notice. (Neither did The Weeknd’s ex, the model Bella Hadid, who took to social media and promptly unfollowed Gomez.) When I ask Gomez about the romance, she tells me that everything she has said about her relationships in the past has come back to bite her, and that she will never do it again.

“Oh, Mylanta!” she wails, watching her cheesy potatoes travel around the table, a whiff of the simpler joys of home. “Look, I love what I do, and I’m aware of how lucky I am, but—how can I say this without sounding weird? I just really can’t wait for people to forget about me.”

Source: Vogue

#selena gomez #vogue #2017 #magazine #article #gallery

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isfeminismdead · 7 years

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While more women - including 70 per cent of mothers - work than ever before, and we've had legislation to create equal pay, extended maternity leave and flexible working, hardly any of us are in the 'top jobs' we thought we'd have by now.

Imaginary barriers: Any glass ceiling that's in place these days isn't an enemy to women, but our alibi says Maureen Rice

The figures are dismal. Only 9 percent of directors in the UK's top 100 companies, 23 percent of Civil Service top management and 20 percent of MPs are women. Plainly, there are still barriers that hold women back.

Attitudes to women at work have changed beyond our wildest dreams since then.

When fund manager Nichola Pease spoke out last week to a Commons Select Committee to criticise British women's entitlement to a year of maternity leave plus flexible working, she undoubtedly shocked many working women.

'We've reached a point where we feel confused and conflicted about what we want from work'

Yet she was only saying what many managers and business owners of both sexes have been thinking for years.

'Women get everything they want,' complained one male boss of a marketing agency.

'They work for a couple of years, take a whole year off, insist on coming back part-time - and still complain that there are so few women in charge.'

Krystyna Nowack, a City headhunter, also approved of Pease's bombshell. 'This needed to be said - and it's great that a woman said it. If it had been a man, it would have been written off as chauvinism.'

The truth is that these days, the barriers exist more in our own heads than in any old- school system of sexism. We've reached a point where we feel confused and conflicted about what we want from work.

In other words, it's women now who are constructing a glass ceiling above their own heads - because they want more from life than just the grind of a very senior position and the cripplingly long hours that go with it.

No longer a novelty: Official figures show that 57 percent of mothers of children under five work either full- or part-time

Intriguingly, too, it's not just working mothers who are wondering whether it's all worth it.

Read any women's magazine, drop in on any female-orientated internet forum, and the 'hot issue' in working women's lives is how we can get some balance and fulfillment into our over-crowded lives, rather than fighting for our right to work 12-hour days and get to the top.

If women aren't running the country or big business, it's mainly because we just don't want to. Any glass ceiling that's in place these days isn't an enemy to women, but our alibi.

One 38-year- old woman I know, Claire, is a perfect example. After getting top marks in her A-levels and a good degree from a top university, she won a place on a graduate scheme for a City bank, where she was fast-tracking her way to the top.

'Almost 60 percent of middle-level women 'drop-out' of the career track from their mid 30's onwards'

'I loved the sense of achievement, the money, and the satisfaction I got from doing my job well,' she says.

But as she entered her 30s, the shine began to wear off.

'The truth is that all jobs get to be a grind,' she says. 'To do well in the City (or in any big job), you have to be prepared to work very, very hard and to make your job a priority. I got sick of being constantly exhausted, and of never switching off from work.'

When she met her future husband, Dan, she was already planning her exit strategy.

'I was getting more pleasure from decorating our house, and planning weekends away for us,' she says. 'I began to tune out of work.'

Can you imagine a high-flying man saying something like that?

By the time Claire was 34, she was pregnant with her first child. 'I took seven months' paid maternity leave, but I knew I wouldn't go back. You can't have a child and work killingly long hours, then come home too tired and distracted to be a proper parent.'

These days, she doesn't work at all, though she says: 'I'd like to do something part-time when Daisy is older.'

Here is a woman who has chosen at what point she wanted to apply her own glass ceiling to her career - the level at which she chose not to go any higher for her own valid reasons.

Research by Catalyst, an advisory group for working women, found that Claire's story is typical.

Speaking out: Fund manager Nichola Pease says excessive maternity leave and eye-watering sex discrimination payouts could backfire on women

Almost 60 percent of middle-level women 'drop out' of the career track from their mid-30s onwards - either to stop seeking promotion, to take a career break, to work fewer hours, or to start their own business on their own terms.

Often it's because, like Claire, they simply don't want to do a full-time job while their children are small.

But sometimes it's just because they are sick and tired of giving so much to their jobs and getting so little back.

According to Mintel, almost 40 percent of the adult population is single and child-free so you might expect a generation of 'power singletons' to be taking over.

But while numbers of women of any kind in big jobs have increased over the past 20 years, it's been slowly, and not by much.

A survey by Red magazine last week found that a majority of women without children would also love to have a maternity-leave style paid break from work - without having to have a baby to justify it.

Sahar Hashemi, who co-founded the coffee chain Coffee Republic before leaving her brother to run the business while she freelanced as a consultant, was another typical 'corporate drop out'.

She says: 'A lot of women walk away because they want to live and work differently, not because anyone is forcing them out.'

Working women are not shoulder-padded pioneers anymore. We are no longer a novelty, and we no longer feel we have anything to prove.

While being a 'career woman' had cachet 25 years ago, these days, it's just one of a menu of choices that women have created for themselves: full-time, part-time, self-employed, on sabbatical. They're all valid options.

In the office at the magazine I edit, there are two women doing a job share, working half the week each (and only one of them is a mother), and almost everyone else has taken the company up on its offer to sacrifice part of their salary to buy an extra week off every year.

Wherever there is a choice - and I do realise that 'choice' can be a luxury - quality of life, good relationships, and enough time for their families, friends, and interests outside of work are the priorities for today's working women.

It's what Sarah Jackson, chief executive of the charity Working Families, calls 'a cultural temperature change'.

Now that men and women work in almost equal numbers, she says, 'it's quality of life we're struggling with' - not the next promotion.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1221818/The-truth-glass-ceiling-exists-today-created-women.html#ixzz4tD7Riiwv

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melsa17 · 7 years

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How I learned I was #blackgirlmagic

I’ve never really sat and thought about what it means to be a woman of color in science. My environment has always included intelligent, strong, black females and to me that was the norm. I was born and raised in Dominica, a small island in the Caribbean (NOT the Dominican Republic) and I attended an all girls’ catholic high school. Black women were my teachers, spiritual leaders, coaches and role models. Being in a class of thirty bright minds fostered a healthy competitive spirit and left me with friendships that still exist today. At the age of fifteen you do not really appreciate the role these women and girls play in your life, but looking back, being surrounded by them influenced the person I’m becoming.

Women are just as capable as men, no one taught me this. It was common sense, if we have the same opportunities and we both have a brain, why shouldn’t we be? Growing up, when taking exams at the national and regional level where my competition now included males I never thought twice about being any less capable. As far as I was concerned I was just as good if not better. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no genius and I’m pretty average but I’ve always been a good student.

In 2007 at the age of eighteen, I moved to Baltimore, Maryland to attend Morgan State University (MSU). Morgan belongs to a group of academic institutions termed historically black colleges and universities (HBCU’s) where both the faculty and students are predominantly black. Most of these institutions were established after the American Civil War to serve African American communities, but have always been open to all races. Prior to moving to the United States I’d never heard of an HBCU and over the past ten years I’ve described attending an HBCU as living in a bubble. And at that point in my life, I think I needed that. It was hard enough adjusting to life in a city like Baltimore.

Despite having totally different backgrounds, at Morgan everyone looks like you, everyone is treated equally and skin color never played a part in my college experience. This was probably not the case for everyone but I was sheltered because I seldom left my bubble. My teachers, deans, provost, president were all strong powerful black men and women. So when my general biology professor talked about being black and being a black woman in America, growing up black, dealing with racism and being one of the only black students when doing her PhD I really couldn’t relate. I didn’t understand their struggle because honestly I hadn’t experienced it. Growing up black in Dominica is totally different from growing up black in America and so my HBCU experience wasn’t like most of my fellow students.

Recently, a white man asked me if there was slavery in the Caribbean and I looked at him dumbfounded. There are almost 40 million people living in the Caribbean and this educated man didn’t have a clue how we got there, and we both live in the same hemisphere. Once I stopped judging him in my head I explained to him that yes, our countries were also built on the backs of slaves. However, unlike countries like Trinidad, Guyana and Jamaican where you see a lot of diversity among the people, in Dominica everyone looks pretty similar. Yes our complexions vary but at the end of the day we all call ourselves black. Racism did not exist, which is why even at an HBCU where I looked like my peers I didn’t see race the way a young black man who grew up in Alabama saw race. For me, the most difficult thing about being black in America was being away from home and just trying to figure out who I was, something that didn’t involve the color of my skin back then.

Once I overcame my initial doubts (self-doubt is something I’m still working on) and stopped underestimating my abilities I was able to excel at Morgan. I didn’t see it then but not only did MSU provide a solid foundation and help boost my confidence in my academic abilities, it gave me a glimpse into what many people may now call black girl magic. My teachers included strong black women and I attended conferences such as the National Organization for the Professional Advancement of Black Chemists and Chemical Engineers, where black women ran things. Over the course of my undergraduate career seeing black women in positions of prestige in academia was normal. At Morgan, I was no longer the girl from the Caribbean just trying to keep her scholarship; I was the Chemistry major who knew her stuff and who did research and was good at it. However, through all that I never saw myself as a woman doing well, much less as a black woman doing well. It was simply Melissa, expected to do well and getting it done.

Fast-forward to 2011 when I moved to Gainesville, Florida for graduate school and my bubble popped. University of Florida (UF) was nothing like Morgan. It is a predominantly white institution (PWI) and in a class of over 30 PhD students there were only two black people, including myself. For the first time in my life I was a minority, and self-doubt started creeping in, and I felt extremely alone. I was a small fish in a very big pond and the familiarity and support that existed at Morgan was gone. And my doubt had nothing to do with the color of my skin and that’s because the same way I was never taught boys are better than girls I was also never taught white people are smarter than black people.

This probably saved me in grad school, because had I been doubting myself based on skin color or what these people though of me I’d have been a basket case. My self-doubt was because these people seemed so damn smart and experienced; some had worked in industry, gotten master’s degrees, or been doing research for years and here I was feeling all-good about myself because I got a couple awards in undergrad. I remember calling my mom telling her be prepared I’m going to fail out and I’ll be home soon, sorry for being a disappointment (this was all before the first test). However, my mother is my biggest cheerleader and prayer warrior and so she ignored me like she normally does when I say these things. She probably said something like: “Melissa I know what you’re capable of and you’ll be fine, God is in control (West Indian mom lingo101).”

In the Caribbean its ingrained in you at a young age that you can’t fail and you don’t quit. However, growing up I was a lot harder on myself than my own parents, and they were often the ones telling me to relax. On the day of my Common Entrance Examination (an exam that allows Caribbean students to move on to high school) my dad took me to the river at 6 am for a swim so that I would just relax and stop panicking. Yes, at ten years old I was already that hard on myself. I’ve always been competitive and for that first year of grad school I was just trying to keep my head in the game and not disappoint all the people who believed in me. Looking back, I wish I could tell my 23 year old self: “CHILL, listen to more Kartel and go have a drink!”

The first year of grad school was the toughest and though I came in with a strong chemistry background all the biology material I was presented with was sometimes overwhelming. Chemistry and math had always made sense, and biology just wasn’t my favorite. I made it through the first year, did pretty well actually and kept that fellowship. And like at Morgan I found my footing and did well, my project worked, my lab environment was great, I made good friends, learned hard lessons and apart from Gainesville, being the most boring place ever, life was good. I have no horrible PhD stories and sometimes I feel guilty about it. I have a lot of friends who’ve gone (and are still going) through some tough times. My PhD mentor was great and I enjoyed my PhD experience. Not many PhD candidates can say they graduated with almost twenty peer-reviewed publications and for that I’m grateful and also very lucky (also another story).

Even though I attended a PWI in Florida I still lived in a bubble; not the kind of bubble I experienced in Baltimore but a bubble nonetheless. I hadn’t experienced blatant racism, just the usual stares or stereotypical questions and comments. My former mentor is white but his wife holds a PhD in Biophysics and is a brilliant black woman at the top of her field; she is also the only black faculty member in the Department of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology. She may not see it because she is also extremely humble but she is the perfect example of “black girl magic” and to me this was all so normal. Of course black women were killing it in science and engineering why wouldn’t they its all I had seen since moving to the U.S. Granted, I saw less of it in Florida and even though it bothered me that most of the black women I saw in my building were janitors who others wouldn’t even take the time to greet, it was ok because I knew we existed. And then Trayvon Martin was killed, and it never stopped. Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, John Crawford and we know how it goes. I’m not naïve, I know oppression and racism didn’t end with slavery and I know this had ben going on in America for years but I was now experiencing it first hand. And over the past 5 years I’ve come to understand what it means to be black in America and I’ve also learnt slavery didn’t end just because it was abolished. It doesn’t matter if you’re an MD, CEO or lawyer, all certain people see is the color of your skin. I finally understood what my undergrad professor was talking about. Seeing young black men and women being targeted because their hue was slightly different was my rude awakening.

It came to the point where watching movies like 12 Years a Slave filled me with so much anger that I’d need extra time to myself before talking to others at work. I left every movie asking why, watched every breaking news update and every not-guilty verdict and just asked “but how?” I’ve always being quick to correct others when they called me African American because I’m extremely proud of my West Indian heritage. “I’m not from this country, I’m West Indian!” However, I’ve learned, that in America it doesn’t matter what kind of black you are, racists see in black and white and if you’re black you’re beneath them. For the first time in my life I was being told that I was not equal to a certain group of people and that I was not as qualified. After more than twenty years I was being taught what some children had been told all their lives. It has left me angry, filled with hate, hurt and so confused, not because I believe them but because somewhere there is a child who’s accepted this as their fate. Also because I know its not the truth.

This week I saw the film Hidden Figures, which tells the story of three exceptionally brilliant black women who worked at NASA in the 1960s, at a time when segregation still existed in the state of Virginia. The movie focuses on the critical roles they played in the launch of the astronaut John Glen into orbit using their skills in mathematics and physics. Despite the rave reviews I’d seen I wasn’t excited about this movie. I entered the movie theater with the mindset that this would just be another film that would leave me filled with anger and asking, “why do black people have to endure so much?” This movie made me angry; the way these women were treated solely because of the color of their skin and lady parts was ridiculous and let my blood boil but it also made me realize how much I take for granted. My circle is filled with women in science that I’ve met over the years: chemists, civil engineers, nuclear engineers, immunologists, mechanical engineers, physicists and biochemists; we do it because its what we love and what we’ve always done. I am a black woman with a PhD in Biochemistry in the field of X-ray crystallography and there are not a lot of us (I checked the numbers). Like I said, I’ve always seen black women doing extraordinary things so I’ve never dwelled on how long it took us to get here. Its not about not playing the race card (a term I despise), its just that I know that a black woman is just as capable. I have the kind of parents who think I’m capable of anything I put my mind to, some days I doubt myself but they never do and more black girls need that growing up. This movie left me feeling empowered on a day where once again I had been questioning my abilities and worrying about my future. All women need to see this movie whether you’re a scientist or economist or you’re just trying to figure it out; this movie is for all of us.

Currently I work as a research scientist at the National Institutes of Health, as an X-ray crystallographer and most days I still find myself asking “Melissa what do you want to be when you grow up, what do you want to contribute with this skill-set?” Not too long ago, I went to the store on campus to buy a couple items for the lab with my white lab mates and at the register, I shared “the nod” and a smile with the cashier, a forty-something year old black woman and placed my items on the counter. She then asked me if I was a doctor and I responded yes without much thought of it and paid for my items. When we were done with my transaction she told me how proud she was of me and thanked me on behalf of her family for all my work. I had never met this woman and she had no idea what my research entailed but the fact a black woman was a doctor and was trying to make a difference filled her with pride. I hadn’t thought about that moment much but I remembered it after watching the movie and I realized how blessed I was and how grateful I should be.

I may not think what I’m doing for a living is a big deal, most days its just a job where I do experiments that may not work, or where I question what I’ll do with this PhD. Other days a band on a western blot and a protein crystal in a drop make me smile, and I meet intelligent people who make me want to do better. But there are a lot of people out there, who look up not to me but to the idea of people like me. I have a community of people who are rooting for my black girl magic friends and I because it is still an amazing thing to see.

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biofunmy · 4 years

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Who Made Your Clothes? – The New York Times

Rumsinah, 44

Role: Zipper operator at PT. Fajarindo Faliman Zipper, which focuses largely on in-house brands

Where: Tangerang, Indonesia

“Most of my co-workers and I are all old-timers,” said Ms. Rumsinah, who has been working at the same factory for 26 years. “It’s a good factory, so no one really quits. There’s seldom any job openings — only if someone retires.”

She is paid about 3.4 million rupiah, or $241, per month, which she said is tight as a single parent. Her son recently finished high school. “He can’t work at my factory because there’s no openings,” she said. “He wants to be a teacher, but we don’t have enough money to send him to go to university.”

Though her job is tiring, “all jobs are tiring,” she said. “At least weekends are off, and the hours are not too bad.”

Waheed, 38

Role: Sewing bedsheets and curtains at a textile mill

Where: Pakistan

Waheed, who is being identified only by his first name, has been in the textile industry for 20 years and works seven days a week to support his wife and two young sons. They share a house with his parents, his sisters and his brothers.

“Most factories place a lot of restrictions on garment workers. Once they come in for their shift around 8 in the morning, there’s no knowing when supervisors will let them out. It may be 8 p.m. or 10 p.m. by the time they are allowed to leave for the day.

Workers at my factory don’t have it as bad. That’s why I’ve been here for the past 10 years. It’s a nice place to work. But some of the resources that workers really need aren’t provided, such as first-aid kits or pension cards.

It’s pretty common to get your fingers injured — sometimes needles break and get stuck in your bone if your hand gets in the way of the machine. Then you have to go to the hospital and get X-rays yourself.

It’s difficult to manage on the salary I earn. My expenses amount to about 2,000 rupees a day, including the cost of my children’s clothes, their education, my family’s groceries and other bills. But I barely make 1,000 rupees a day.”

Seak Hong, 36

Role: Sews outdoor apparel and bags at Horizon Outdoor

Where: Khum Longvek, Kampong Chhnang, Cambodia

Six days a week, Ms. Hong wakes up at 4:35 a.m. to catch the truck to work from her village. Her workday begins at 7 and usually lasts nine hours, with a lunch break. During the peak season, which lasts two to three months, she works until 8:30 p.m.

Ms. Hong has been in the garment business for 22 years. She earns the equivalent of about $230 a month and supports her father, her sister, her brother (who is on disability) and her 12-year-old son.

She hopes he will not end up in a factory, too, but the price of a quality education — about $20 per month — is beyond her means. While she is at work, her sister manages the household, taking care of their oxen and rice farming their land for extra food.

“I feel tired, but I have no choice,” Ms. Hong said. “I have to work.”

Yurani Tascon, 34

Role: Tracks daily production numbers at Supertex, which works with major active wear brands

Where: Yumbo, Colombia

“They spoil us a lot here,” Ms. Tascon said. “It’s a job with good stability.” Her workplace blasts music — usually salsa or something traditional — from speakers throughout the day while employees make coats, bathing suits and sportswear.

At 11 a.m., employees get “pausas activas”: active breaks with music.

Sarjimin, 39

Role: Makes shoes for a comfort footwear brand at PT. Dwi Naga Sakti Abadi

Where: Tangerang, Indonesia

Mr. Sarjimin has worked at the same factory for about 12 years. The job is relatively stable, and his workplace is spacious, bright and safe.

He earns the equivalent of $250 a month, and his wife also works at a factory. The family is able to send their children, a 13-year-old and a 9-year-old, to good schools. They recently purchased a computer for their older son, who is passionate about technology.

Mr. Sarjimin farms catfish to supplement his family’s grocery money. He started six months ago, filling a big empty drum with starter fish as an experiment. Now he has two drums with 300 fish each, and he sells them to friends, family and neighbors.

One day, he would like to raise catfish full time. “There’s a motivational speaker I heard once, ‘You have to dare to dream, how to get there is a question for a different time,’” he said. “I like remembering those words.”

Saida, 38

Role: Sewing machine operator at Pinehurst Manufacturing, which works with major active wear brands

Where: San Pedro Sula, Honduras

The factory where Saida has worked for the last 12 years is one of the few in the area. She earns about 8,200 lempira each month, roughly $331. “It doesn’t cover everything,” she said. “Vivimos sobregirados.” (“We live overdrawn.”)

Saida lives with her mother and her 19-year-old daughter, who goes to school. “I am the one who provides everything at home. The house, the water, the electricity,” she said. “You have to stop buying certain things to be able to cover the necessities.”

Her unit currently has one primary client, a major sportswear brand. This is a source of anxiety for her and her co-workers because they fear mass layoffs if the client leaves the company. “It’s really difficult having one client,” she said.

Bui Chi Thang, 35

Role: Stitching denim together for sustainability-focused brands at Saitex International

Where: Bien Hoa, Vietnam

Mr. Bui has been at his factory for seven years. “It matches my skill,” he said, “and the salary is enough for my family.” He earns approximately 90 million dong annually, roughly $3,880, which he uses to support his mother, wife and son.

During the average nine-hour workday, “I can finish 1,000 to 1,200 pieces a day, depending on the difficulty,” he said.

Santiago, 48

Role: Sews clasps and zippers onto dresses, blouses and pants at a factory

Where: Los Angeles

“I’m from Guatemala. I’ve been doing garment work for 16 years. I started because it was the only thing I knew how to do after leaving my home country,” Santiago said. “I came here because there were not as many opportunities back home, and with six children, there are a lot of expenses.”

In the last five years, he has worked in five to eight factories. They are often windowless and dirty, with little ventilation, he said.

When he first moved to Los Angeles, Santiago was working 11-hour shifts, seven days a week. Now he works about 50 hours a week, taking home up to $350. The majority of his co-workers — around 30 other people — are Spanish speakers from Guatemala, El Salvador and Mexico.

“I’m just making ends meet,” he said. “I’m always trying to figure out how to save money, how to buy food, how to not eat out too much.” Still, he said it is better than what he was earning in Guatemala.

Maria Valdinete da Silva, 46

Role: Self-employed seamstress

Where: Caruaru, Brazil

The last factory Ms. da Silva worked at produced men’s street wear. She spent eight years there, stitching side seams together in an assembly line with an hourly quota.

“Some companies, like the one I worked for, no longer have employees inside the factory and the seamstresses work from home,” she said. “They establish small groups, tiny factories, and they are paid per item, so they basically have the same production without any costs.”

In order to make minimum wage, outsourced employees “have to work from day to night,” she said.

Ms. da Silva now makes women’s clothing independently, producing fewer pieces and selling them locally. She makes “maybe half” of minimum wage, but she said it’s worth it to work at her own pace. “I love what I do,” she said. “I no longer see myself in that situation of sitting in front of a machine doing the same thing every day.”

She is planning on taking fashion design courses soon. “Seamstresses are the key element in the fashion chain, we are the ones who put the clothes together,” she said. “You basically have to kill yourself in front of a sewing machine in order to provide for your family.”

Antonio Ripani, 72

Role: Leather quality control at Tod’s Group

Where: Casette d’Ete, Italy

Mr. Ripani, who began working with leather at 14, has been employed by Tod’s for more than 40 years, where he assesses “practically all the hides that arrive” for quality.

“Alone it’s hard to do everything, so I have a group of ragazzi [guys] under me and I have taught them everything I’ve been able to understand after all these years,” he said.

Mr. Ripani doesn’t earn much, he said, but he sets his own schedule, often working eight to 12 hours a day. He has assistants and has received awards for his highly specialized work.

“It’s not so much the salary, it’s that I am here because we’re all one family,” he said. “When I started, I had long hair. Now, I am bald.”

Rukhsana, 48

Role: Security at Sitara Textile Industries

Where: Faisalabad, Pakistan

Rukhsana began working in the garment industry shortly after her husband died seven years ago. She works seven days a week.

“The hardest thing about working in a textile mill is that management kind of cuts you off from the world for the duration of your shift. If anyone calls you from home — with good news or bad news — you can’t take the call and management doesn’t tell you until the day is over.

Two years ago, my nephew died in an accident when I was working. My brother tried calling me, but management didn’t tell me about it until my family had already held his funeral. I was so upset, I quit my job.

Now that I’m in security, I know when someone comes to the mill and tries to contact a worker. But I’m still not allowed to tell the worker their relative has been trying to reach them.

It’s not just difficult, it’s impossible to survive on the salary the textile mills pay. Are we supposed to choose between buying food and roti or paying for clothes and medicine? And there’s always rent to pay in addition to that.”

(Employees store their phones in a locker before beginning their shift, a company spokesman said in a phone interview, and they aren’t allowed to leave the organization “without any written acknowledgment from the manager.”

He said that family can reach employees on their cellphones or by calling the factory directly, and that he was not aware of any incidents in which family was prevented or delayed from contacting an employee during an emergency. )

Vu Hoang Quan, 21

Role: Sews dress shirts for mass retailers at TAL Apparel

Where: Binh Xuyen, Vinh Phuc, Vietnam

Mr. Vu has spent the last four years working on a production line with about 30 other employees, each overseeing parts of the sewing process. On average, he earns about 10 to 12 million dong (about $432 to $518) monthly. He sends most of it back to his family.

“My favorite time is at 3 p.m., when we have an exercise session,” he said. “We stay at our work spot. We pause our work process, line up and follow the exercise instructions of team leaders.”

He recently participated in a talent show hosted by the company, where he performed modern dance. “I don’t have plans to leave this job anytime soon,” he said. “I’m quite satisfied with it.”

Catherine Gamet, 48

Role: Leather goods artisan at Louis Vuitton

Where: Saint-Pourçain-sur-Sioule, France

Ms. Gamet began working with leather when she was 16 years old and has been employed by Vuitton for 23 years. “To be able to build bags and all, and to be able to sew behind the machine, to do hand-sewn products, it is my passion,” she said. “That’s how I got into it.”

About 800 employees work in Saint-Pourçain, spread out across four sites. Ms. Gamet said the workshops are well organized, bright and modern. “The time flies by,” she said.

S, 33

Role: Tailor making pants and socks for fast fashion and active wear brands at Shahi Exports

Where: India

S.’s shift begins at 9 a.m. She feels a lot of pressure from supervisors to reach quotas of about 90 to 120 pieces per hour and said many workers are afraid to take breaks or use the restroom because it will waste time.

Employees who can’t keep up are often pulled aside at the end of each hour, she said, and supervisors will yell at them and bang on tables. Many workers spend most of their 30-minute lunch breaks scrambling to finish more pieces to get back on track.

“We don’t even have the freedom to drink water,” S. said, adding that management doesn’t allow employees to bring in water bottles.

Instead, water is handed out by the factory. In the spring of 2018, the supplied water was making workers sick, and when employees gave management a letter with a variety of basic requests, including clean water, they were beaten in response. Their clothes were torn, and many of their valuables, including phones and jewelry, were taken.

The employees took their complaint to the labor department. The issues were resolved three months after the incident, after the factory faced public pressure from a report by an American watchdog group, social media and brands that worked with the factory.

Some conditions have improved: Employees get mineral water now. But the pay is still bad, S. said, and the main work space doesn’t have windows, air-conditioning or heaters.

“We want to ask for more salary, but people are scared after what happened last year to ask again,” she said.

(In an email, a spokesman from Shahi Exports acknowledged the 2018 incident and forwarded a statement outlining the preventive measures the company has since enacted.

In a separate email, a spokesman said that berating employees in any way “constitutes misconduct,” and instances brought to management’s attention would “initiate action” against the perpetrator.

“While we do strive to drive efficiencies, there is no scope to berate any employee on account of non-performance or deficient performance,” he said. The spokesman added that there “is adequate ventilation” within the work space and that the entire factory is “in compliance with the law.”)

S. is a single parent and picks up extra work in the evenings, along with taking out loans, to support herself and her daughter. “There are thousands of people” in her city in the same situation, she said. “My story is just one of them.”

Phool Bano, 38

Role: Tailor at Friends Factory

Where: Noida, India

Ms. Bano has been a tailor for about 22 years and works at a progressive factory that makes small batches of garments for high-end independent brands. The building has little luxuries like air purifiers.

“It feels nice working here,” Ms. Bano said. “It’s clean. There are some plants and trees also, you know, the kind that are meant for decoration.”

Helena Lúcia Santos da Conceição da Silva, 54

Role: Seamstress at Fantasia D!kas Roupas

Where: Nova Friburgo, Brazil

“I’ve always thought of myself as a seamstress. I even made my daughter’s sweet-16 dress. It looks like overlapping petals. It’s my greatest pride.

I start work at 7 a.m. We make everything: pants, shorts, tops. I work eight hours a day Mondays to Fridays with a one-hour lunch break. It’s a small company: me and five other seamstresses. We don’t have a quota. Here they value quality over quantity. I don’t even know how many pieces I work on in a given day. We don’t keep track.

Ms. da Silva does not make enough money from her day job, so she picks up extra work from private clients to complete on evenings and weekends, sometimes working until 10 p.m.

I prefer working for this manufacturer because I’m on the payroll, I’m entitled to vacations. It’s more secure. But my dream is to have my own atelier at home.”

Knvul Sheikh contributed reporting.

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