#also i'm really mad about this set

[thedreadvampy]

btw about Neil Gaiman I periodically agree with the 'Neil Gaiman is annoying' stuff bc I feel like both he and Amanda Palmer seem like people who I would go insane stuck in a room with bc we have very different ideas about art and suchlike. and I also do think that the career trajectory he's on lately is cynically redoing his greatest hits and pretending that was the dream all along when it clearly was not. which is at best meh.

having said which

as far as I can tell by far the most common complaint about Neil Gaiman is "Snow, Glass, Apples is problematic/gross/it's got incest and rape and frames the child as the aggressor"

which strikes me as a weird complaint to pull out of a 40 year body of work tbh when that short story is pretty clearly coming from a place of 'how far can I push this'. like you don't have to like the story. I don't really like the story. but it is. a horror story.

like and this is the thing with particularly 90s alt horror right? a lot of the interest is in transgression and sitting in the worst possible perspective and seeing what happens if you pull those strings. like I really like Clive Barker for example but there's a good chunk of his short stories that I'm like I'm not picking up what you're putting down Clive this seems Kinda Off. but that willingness to write some trite or Bad Message horror fiction that doesn't land is imo a side effect of being willing to try writing uncomfortable and unpleasant fiction at all. which is what horror is for, among other things, it's for creating discomfort as a form of catharsis or engagement.

like I am not a huge fan of the type of sex-horror that pops up in a lot of Gaiman's work and other contemporary horror writers - to me I don't find it upsetting or horny it just ends up feeling kind of edgy and tryhard - but I'm also a bit like. it does seem like a lot of people's beef with Neil Gaiman is that In The 90s He Was A Horror Writer

and this approach to Problematic Horror in Snow, Glass, Apples I find kind of microcosmic of how The Discourse often approaches art in this kind of 1:1 way. if you write a story which seems to line up with rape apologia it can only be because you agree with it. if you write a story about transphobia you're a transphobe. if you write a story that makes me genuinely uncomfortable you're attacking me.

but artwork, especially art like horror that's not necessarily trying to provoke enjoyment as its main response, is necessarily hit and miss. and if what you're shooting for is discomfort then whether it works, falls flat or goes too far incredibly depends on your audience. and making good art - as in art that makes its audience think, art that opens the audience up to discomfort and catharsis and sticks with them and changes them - requires the space to experiment and tbh the space to fuck up. like they aren't all going to be winners and they certainly aren't all going to work for you as a singular audience.

personally I don't see the appeal of Snow, Glass, Apples, less cause it's nasty and more cause it's hack. ooh an edgy monstrous version of a fairy tale where there's lots of rape and cannibalism? you're soooo original Neil. but like. that's fine. I don't really vibe with like 70% of Neil Gaiman stuff I've read but I still like Neil Gaiman because the stuff that works for me really works for me.

idk I think there's a lot of folk on this website who shouldn't interact with horror cause they clearly aren't interested in being horrified. that's not everyone who dislikes Snow, Glass, Apples, but it's a real undercurrent to a lot of the criticism and tbh this kinda vibe is shit for art. making standout art What Is Good also requires being ready to make art which stands out for the wrong reasons. sometimes they'll be the same art to different people.

#red said #not to Cancel Culture this but isabelle fall springs to mind in a lot of how folks talk about stuff like this #like she wrote a transgressive piece exploring her own negative feelings about transness and her anger around a transphobic trope #and she made something which i found really resonant and interesting #and she got torn apart for it because it Might From Some Angles Agree With Transphobia #and I'm not making a direct comparison. because i think attack helicopter is a really GOOD story and i think SGA is gratuitous and hack #but that's the thing right? transgression and discomfort and speaking about unpleasant things in an openended way are KEY #to making art that engages directly with your own pains and angers and discomforts #and that's hard to mediate tbh. but it's also very necessary. #i think as well thinking about Gaiman this is also a thought I've often had about Amanda Palmer #who over the years has written a lot of songs about things i find genuinely uncomfortable or offensive. #and i can engage with 'it's fucked up to tell your ex they transed their gender At You' or 'your partner's suicide is not about you' bc yeah #but #you can't celebrate someone for making confessional music then get mad because you don't like everything they confess #if you only take about your socially acceptable thoughts it's not really confessional is it? #if you only talk about discomforting things that people are comfortable hearing about its not really discomforting #and you can only really discern what's Good Transgressive and what's Damaging Transgressive through doing i think #so if you want challenging art you are going to have to get some art which challenges you and you go hmm no i still disagree #is what i think #so yeah you can hate the artwork but when an artist is specifically setting out to make challenging art it's weird to hate them #for making 50 pieces of art you like and 1 you hate

[drop-the-curtain-123]

YOSHIDA Sokhna (吉田 ソクナ)

Here's my design of Taisei Yoshida's mother :) She is an accountant at Yoshida Motors, married to Shigeo. Her daughter is college aged, named Tomoko.

In my headcanon, she is from Senegal 🇸🇳 , and met her husband during a Paris-Dakar event during the 1980s.

She learnt japanese on a whim, in addition to her native wolof, french and arabic, and moved to Kunugigaoka after her marriage.

#assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #taisei yoshida #yoshida taisei #sokhna yoshida #shigeo yoshida #tomoko yoshida #assassination classroom families #i will do more so i need to figure out a global tag i guess #i really like how i did her hair! i'm not set on one specific style for her but it was fun. #also she is as interested in motorcycles and all as her husband and son. she WILL be mad about the accountability side of the market #don't hesitate to ask questions! i'm curious if anyone has any more ideas or something... #the yoshida family is literally so great IMO like they're one of the only non toxic kind families in class e. they're balanced and mature #they're the refuge for hazama etc <3 sokhna loans her french lit for her to read

[sysig]

Is torial and asgore still together in the fell!handplates au? Is that the divergence from Canon? that instead of torial disagreeing with asgore about war and leaving she instead agreed and encouraged vengeance for their children?

If that is the case who do you think ends up living in the ruins? I know what probably happened with gaster but if he chooses to leave with the boys would he live In the ruins as an escape?

Haha, that was what I thought as well! I don't really know much about fanon-agreed-upon Fellplates tbqh, but when it came up in conversation, we talked about how since they're both on the same page vis a vis killing humans, they probably would still be together haha - or that Toriel still lives in the Ruins and only comes out to beat up Gaster lol

Personally I like her being in the castle with Asgore, murder power couple <3 And she'd have very direct access to bully Gaster! I see this as an absolute win

I'm not sure, Gaster escaping with the boys isn't something I'd considered before :0 I think the Ghosts definitely still hang around the Ruins, so I don't know how dangerous it would be for them to live there if they were hostile. There's also something? weird? about Fell!Mercyplates that I can't quite put my finger on haha

And remember, this is still Zarla's AU! I just it like a bunch ♥

#UT #Handplates #Fellplates #Fellplates!Ghoster's dialogue about Toriel really makes it seem like her treatment of him is recent doesn't it ♪ #That's what lead me to that conclusion anyhow :) #I'm still something of a sap even in this intentionally edgy set of circumstances lol - I like when they're all together! #Even if sometimes that means Certain Somebodies are being tossed around lol #I also think that if anyone would have the ability to move between the Ruins and the rest of the Underground it would be Toriel #Basically calls dibs on it lol #As long as whatever makes the exit impassable stays in her control I think she'd make the most sense to have it #I think it's at least implied to be magic? Like not just a key or other similar object #And Gaster couldn't break into it when Toriel disappeared so *shrug* #I suppose I could see him trying to make a mad dash for the Ruins but I don't think he'd actually be any safer there than anywhere else #If that was something he even thought to do or wanted to do haha #I dunno! I kinda just like him following the same self-destructive path he's always been on ♫ #Which involves him being the worst hehe <3

[ghostoffuturespast]

Being a writer is weird.

#it's tough fighting that human visual bias on a platform like this #my queue ran out and i haven't posted any vp because i was trying to crank out that last chapter for my long fic #and like i get it maybe most people aren't interested in reading it #different strokes for different folks #but like the discrepancy between how people interact with photo vs writing posts is wildly disheartening sometimes #and i've been see-sawing back and forth all day about this #riding high and wallowing in the mud #this is literally the creative project that i've been pouring myself into for the past month and a half every spare moment i have #and i've been doing this for the past year and a half #it's weird pouring so much love into something when the vast majority of people won't even give it two seconds #i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason #it's why i try to reblog stuff from my writing mutuals when i see it because it's usually the artwork that gets the least amount of love #anyway just felt like getting that off my chest #i'm sure my fellow writers can commiserate too #i'm not mad or anything i just had thoughts and perhaps voicing them is better then stewing on them i suppose #also i feel bad for not reading more stuff from other people but i've got like zero beans to give atm #no need to worry or anything i'm still gonna keep writing and posting my shit #more vp comin in over the weekend #also god the new tumblr ui for desktop is fucking ugly absolutely atrocious #man i really don't want to have to set up shop on another social media outlet it's tiresome #i don't want to keep up i just want to blog in peace

[otome-on-the-side]

I wonder how all those angst fic writers feel about a younger chained up satan being canon 

#text #obey me nightbringer spoilers #I'm obsessed with this dynamic bc like #the brothers think of themselves as seperate from demons FROM SATAN.. and vice versa #Satan hates calling the rest of the 7 brother and hate that they call him brother #and all things considered!! fair!! #satan's doesnt really know better and for all his wrath he isnt outwardly malicious #he's just mad and doesnt know what to do about it!! and everyone keeps setting him off #bc he's still very much himself but hes also like #coming to grips with being a person #with only lucifer's POV and actions to inform his behavior #he really would have had an easier time if he had been born as a kid but fate athena'd him #and like. #beyond just the character satan's relationship with the brothers reflects their relationship with the devildom as a whole #and only until they call eachother family WILLINGLY and gladly!!! are they going to adapt to living in the devildom as well as they are- #-in the present #anyway #dont get me started on everyone else

[katya-goncharov]

need to somehow find the courage to tell my manager tomorrow that i do NOT want to be put on eight hours overtime shifts a week for four weeks in a row

#ugh i'm scared i won't be able to and then i will have to do the shifts and i REALLY don't want to #because my mental health will not be able to handle it. but i can't say that because talking about mental health feels weird and too #personal so i have to think of another excuse and i don't want to create a bad atmosphere or for people to dislike me or be mad at me #i don't even know how i'm going to find a time to broach the subject because no-one even asked me before scheduling me in for 10 extra hour #a week! they just did it. and yeah this is like the 5th post i've made about it but i'm just spiralling so much constantly just thinking #about it. #emma vents #literally how do you set boundaries when you hate confrontation and also don't want to get fired

[friendofthecrows]

We've successfully invented a society where you have to miss your friend's funeral because you can't afford to be any later on your deadlines. Sure, we weren't that close, but I still would've liked to have gone, and I know I'm going to, emotionally, regret staying home working instead of going for at least a week after this even though I'd face consequences if I'd gone. I'm making the smart and necessary choice, but man, it sucks that I even have to.

#hal rambles #tw death #i know some mutual friends will be wondering where i was #but i also know they won't be mad at me for not going #i'm just really pissed off at the world right now #he used to bring me vintage fashion catalogs because he knew i loved fashion #and he would set aside a few really nice antique books to donate to the church bookstore along with the rest so that every once and a while #someone would have a happy suprise #he could infodump about local history for hours and would do so at every opportunity #he was nice #the fact i'm not going is at least partially my own fault because if i had managed to get this done early like i'd wanted then i would've #been able to go #but still #wish the deadlines didn't have such huge consequences #ultimately it is utterly unimportant when these things happen #and yet

[mildkleptomania]

are you ready to see one of the sillier character concepts i've done

are you?

really?

alright, here he is

yes he drinks milk out of a wine glass

no he is not a humanoid cat in there, aside from maybe having slightly more handlike paws

yes he is going to make cat puns on purpose in his villain monologue while he has you strapped to his James Bond death trap table

#art #my art #cat #furry adjacent #tomes setting #technically this is the fantasy setting rework of him #but all that really changes is now the struggling evil genius accidentally responsible for his creation is now a wizard #and also he's got magic powers instead of very minor psychic ones he doesn't know about #and his gun is like a flintlock now instead of being semiautomatic #he *is* still running around in Frankenstein's Cyborg Mech Suit though #that isn't a new thing #he's just a proper literal necromancer instead of a mad scientist necromancer now #and also the mech suit is made out of a giant (albeit a small one as giants go) #that kind of sounds like a lot of things that changed now that i'm writing them all out #but they're all minor details in the grand scheme of things I assure you #imagine how yzma sounds after being turned into a kitten in emperor's new groove and that's close to his voice

[hotchocolateandpillowforts]

Yesterday our WiFi was out at the house which is normally a pretty big issue for me. I'm almost always watching a TV show (on streaming) or a YT video. I hate being alone with my thoughts for any length of time and coming home to find there's no WiFi is almost as bad as coming home to find my house burgled. (Almost but not quite.) But it was also supposed to be Fringe and workout night which wasn't going to happen without the WiFi. My husband helped me get my phone going as a hotspot but I really didn't trust it not to crap out while I'm in the middle of a workout.

Which is all a long winded way of me saying I'm going to watch some Fringe tonight (from the couch!) once I get done with dinner and a couple of small household chores.

#it's an episode set in Alt-Liv's world which doesn't excite me a ton #but also I'm really enjoying one of her coworkers (Lincoln Lee) so I'm not mad about it #Fringe #I really wish my life wasn't so dependent on WiFi #being alone with my thoughts is probably my villain origin story

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

I have SO many questions about the ending of Wakanda Forever and the whole timeline and just so many things

#and how were t'challa and nakia even together because he was king of wakanda and she was living in haiti #so they did long distance?? and only spent limited time together?? #and toussaint was born before the snap?? #and why keep him a secret from even shuri?? #wakanda forever spoilers #I'm confused #idk how many years after endgame this is meant to be set?? #so i have no idea of timeline #on another note I'm kinda sad to not see shuri as queen #but I'm happy for m'baku to be king #but I'm also so heartbroken and sad and mad... smad i guess that they killed off ramonda 😭😭 #hasn't shuri suffered enough!? hasn't wakanda!? haven't I!!! #also okoye done so dirty #the dora were her life #anyway i did really love the movie #I'm just sad about ramonda and okoye

[dimension-20-every-introduction]

Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20′s Coffin Run episode 1

#dimension 20 spoilers #coffin run #dimension 20 #coffin run spoilers #d20 introductions #OK I'M HAVING A BLAST THIS IS SO FUNNY #zac izzy erika carlos. WHAT a cast #swear the accent erika used for may BLEW me back in my seat #zac as this horrid little boy is also just LITERALLY so funny i was. just so delighted #and also MS. BHULLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hadn't seen her dming before this season but my WORD is she talented #the way she's able to set up a scene and shift between characters is so dynamic and fantastic to watch it Really holds my attention #literally so insane she improvised an old man's song on the spot i was OUT of my seat when izzy was egging her on #and IZZY! IZZY!!!!! IZZY is SO funny her character is FUCKING amazing good lord #she does mad scientist than brennan does let me tell you that. ofc they're both great but izzy's is WAY better #the madness on her face when Sasha was talking about how he wasted his whole life the FACES SHE MADE. THE EVIL CACKLES. #it's EVERYTHING to me #i'm not saying this just bc i think dr. aleksandr is hot. i'm not #carlos as wetzel was so funny too- and man that prosthetic looks really dope tbh #this setting is so rad and ALSO. D20 LITERALLY THANK YOU FOR MAKING DRACULA HOT #the ART........... i was like ok yeah i should have HOPED for this #brennan should watch out he's great and all but i don't know if he could measure up to ms. bhullar this was a TREAT #although maybe if brennan took over critical role i'd actually watch it so it might be a win win if jasmine scooped d20 out from under him #anyway- see you next week!

[milo-is-rambling]

Now why the hell do I have such intensely realistic dreams I had to wake up and stare at the ceiling for like ten minutes to make sure I was alive.

#me 🤝 having dreams where everyone is mad at me and also I'm having a near death experience and everyone is still mad at me #literally had a dream that I was riding a bike and got hit by a car and woke up in the hospital then felt like shit but was okay enough and #then in my dream I was like hmm I wanna go to a gas station to get snacks bc that's why I was biking in the first place and so I drove to a #random gas station and came back to my car after getting snacks and there was a fucking mountain lion inside my car that immediately pounced #on me and started trying to bite my face and no one would fucking help me at all #it was terrifying and I literally like argued with my mom in the dream and she said all this personal horrible shit and didn't care at all #that I was hit by a car and then I went to the gas station and millie was there and she was mad at me for not going on some trip with her #and her family even tho I was like nah dude I was like JUST hit by a car this morning bro I don't wanna go to Connecticut with u and ur fam #and even the gas station clerk was mad at me for some reason and he tried to charge me a hundred dollars for a pack of icebreakers and a #box of strawberries like dude what the fuck is wrong with my brain but I remember every fucking detail of it like why is my brain so evil #my brain will be like hmm time to dream... let's think about exactly how it would feel to almost die once and then be mauled by a big cat #like why in my dreams do I feel everything that happens to me. why did I feel my broken nose and he blood dripping down my face and the road #burn across my body why are my dreams like yeah u can smell the mountain lions breath as you're trying to hit it with ur purse and it's like #drooling on ur face cause it's trying to wrap it's jaws around your entire head #like bruh. hey brain. did I really need that today? did I really need two near death experiences in one dream? and also everyone hates me? #was that really necessary brain? my brain also had the audacity to set the dream in New Hampshire during winter. why would I be riding a #bike in the middle of winter and then be slammed into the road and then be attacked by a lion what message is that trying to tell me exactly #when I woke up I literally touched my nose to make sure it wasn't broken thats how fucking real my dreams are I hate it #anyways I'm mad at my brain for having hyper realistic dreams where I'm in pain physically and emotionally

[lostsouldierbye]

i’ve never opened up the mcu bucky & tony can of worms and i’m still scared to do it 

#idk i guess the ball is in tony's court #bucky takes responsibility for any and all crimes committed under hydra #like yeah yeah he knows it wasn't him #but if someone accuses him of killing so-and-so he won't deny it #so tony being big mad about the truth of his parents deaths #bucky will take it #he uhhhhh doesn't think he deserves to DIE over it #i mean it's complicated #his relationship with his own life and what he DESERVES is like fucked up #on the one hand he doesn't think he can repent for what he's done #on the other hand he wants to balance out the wrongs with rights ??? #but also his definition of 'right' is also #fucked up anyway #so from the outside it almost doesn't even look like he's doing good ??? #but his heart's in the right place ???? #anyway i don't know many canon tony's in the rpc so i doubt this will ever get addressed #did ca:cw even happen really #my default mcu verse is set immediately after tws and/or after endgame with every possibility of simply skipping over ca:cw bc fuck that #but willing to leave the starks on his hydra hit list tbh because it does kinda make sense #if big bad wolvie can forgive bucky for killing his preggo wife/gf ??? i'm sure tony can come around #❪ ⠀ * ⠀ gen ⠀﹕ ⠀ooc. ⠀ ❫ #tbd

[sysig]

Dorks

Starting with ZEX nad DAX! I moved them in by themselves first and had them fall in love and, forgot, to take any screenshots of it lol oops. They are In Love, but not committed :) I’m also really silly-pleased with how they turned out haha, using Zarla’s VUX retextures as well as these red horns and Namekian antennae haha - anything to make them just a little more alien!

Old man yaoi

Moved the Captain in and he immediately rolled a Want to flirt with ZEX lol. You’re so judgey Captain not like I intentionally made it so he and ZEX would be attracted to each other but not so much him and DAX cough

ZEX was also immediately enamoured lol, who would’ve guessed

Jinx! I ended up getting the Jealousy-negation potion because I want them all to get along ♥

Really. Right in front of DAX’s fear of getting burgled >:0

The Captain is always the little spoon, it’s the rules

He’s always the one sitting on others! It’s the rules!

DAX caught them lol, he even walked away doing the “crazy” hand sign haha, I love the two of them looking at him as he goes hehe ♪

I was curious and there actually is a difference in what ZEX and the Captain are doing - ZEX is cuddling, the Captain is sitting (on ZEX lol)

These animations I swear ♥ The shy little duck the Captain does after a peck, so cute

Okay fine he can be the big spoon sometimes

Poor DAX got kicked out of bed haha

You’re fine writing in your diary like that? Haven’t you noticed the uh

I designed this house with infidelities in mind lol, just look behind you Captain! No there’s a wall in the way! Haha

#WPVG #WPTS2 #The Sims 2 #The Sims #SCII #Much less involved than the Talana set - if I hadn't forgotten the ZEX/DAX stuff maybe... #But I'm also still playing this household! A bit less focusedly more just seeing what happens for now #It's also kinda in the middle of/around Talana's - some things happened concurrently like getting robbed #Thus DAX still being mad about it when he went over to visit lol #Both of the VUX are currently employed but the human is not - something of a house husband at the moment lol #I'll get to him he's just a bit freshly moved in yet - I made him a cute studio loft so he has a bit of space for himself :) #He still crashed in ZEX's bed and kicked DAX out tho lol mean! #DAX is a dancer - pretty sure he fell asleep in his uniform haha #I think ZEX is in the Slacker career? This would be post-exile so y'know ♪ #He has other things to be doing! Like the Captain pfft #I really am rather pleased with how everyone turned out <3 I'll have to get some closeups at some point so you can see ZEX's smile lines! #I considered giving him the short cropped hair but the longer hair just looks so nice ahhh #I gave DAX the same for a moment but they were a little too difficult to tell apart even with the eyepatch haha #It's a shame the red horns count as ''glasses'' so they come off for certain outfits - I think I might be able to turn them back on hmm #The little colour contrast on VUX skin is so pretty! <3 #I had so much fun with all the decorations as well lol there are So many space pictures and wallpaper and bedsheets #All the doors are Star Trek doors! There's a UFO hanging model in the bedroom hehe <3 #The clean white futurism look is very fun to work in :)

[trashlie]

Thank you for answering my asks! I agree, Alyssa wanting to belong to something bigger to fill in a void of loneliness sounds like a better fit than simply being an attention seeker solely for the sake of validity.

I've been thinking of what will happen after Alyssa's bullying scandal is exposed and I'm starting to wonder if Shinae's bullying accusations will be brought up in tandem. Both girls covered in similar rumors and confronting a shared past, highlighting a key difference between them: true friendship. Which I hope is one of the possible or many catalysts for Alyssa.

No matter what reputation she gains in public, Shinae will be surrounded by her friends who genuinely know and support her. A full on Shinae Defense Squad! Meanwhile, Alyssa will have a fan base turning against her, except for the stans who have a parasocial relationship towards her.

So, what will Alyssa do when she's cornered again? Will she dig her heel in, clinging to all these strangers who only see her as an image, in a desperate attempt to not lose all she has left? Or will she realize all of her former friends are standing together while she has no one and have a wake up call? 1/2

You're totally welcome! I say it all the time but it's true: I get so excited that anyone wants to talk to me about this series and reads my really long, rambling thoughts lol. I'm always happy to answer asks and share my thoughts and ideas!

I'm putting the second half of your ask under the cut. While it's not totally spoilery, it still mentions FP content so we'll be safe and throw it all under the cut!

(This is a bit fast pass spoilery). Then what if the rumors of her sexuality come to light and they step in to protect her. Will she realize it then? What she truly lost was not fame? 2/2

So I, and many others, probably including you, have figured that if Alyssa has a big career-changing scandal, it will likely be about bullying allegations, because that's a big deal in Korea and it can really make or break someone's career, especially if it's true. But I won't lie - ep 196 made pause and wonder if it could be worse. Now, I'm going to straight up say, I really, really, really hope if it turns out Alyssa is, in fact, queer, I really hope she is not outed via a scandal, but also.... it would be one way to ruin her career, wouldn't it? It just doesn't sit well with me - I'd rather she get to embrace that herself one day than have it outed against her will. For that reason, I like to hope that it will be just bullying rumors.

Once upon a time, I had written about how I thought there was a possibility that if Alyssa's past came to light, Nol might see himself in her, but that was long before he finally talked to Shinae, so, lol I think that's all out the window! He's really been giving me whiplash this last year lol. That said, I've never considered if it would wind up involving Shinae. Part of me is inclined to think no, it wouldn't, because she's not the one who is in the limelight, but the more I think about it, the more I think it would at least involve her at the "local" level - whether it's just that someone slips up and says something, that the news reveals enough details to connect to Shinae, whether Alyssa herself actually names her. It certainly wouldn't be Alyssa's finest hour, that's for sure.

As always, I think these scenarios always depend on variable factors - like would Nol still be "dating" Alyssa at the time of the scandal, for instance. I still think there's an opportunity for Nol to see himself in Alyssa, especially because we still don't know what his altercation with Kousuke was like (was he provoked, was he cornered, was he acting out of malice or was it an accident?). I don't think it has to be either or, though, right? He can both see himself in Alyssa and what sympathize with what it's like to be painted as something you aren't, cornered into something you never meant to, while also acknowledging he is trying to be above all that - you know, supposing that's his choice. I still don't know if we are getting the antihero arc that everyone has anticipated for Nol, since I feel like the big emphasis on Shinae revealing to Nol how she mirrors him is meant to imply that he may try to find a way to leave all of that behind, and to be a version of himself that he chooses to be, as opposed to the one he's been painted as. But what I'm getting at is, I think there's yes the potential that while he could sympathize with Alyssa, he could also be part of a support system to Shinae, because humans are complex. But I think that could flip a switch for Alyssa.

Again, there's a lot of factors here, like... she and Nol have discussed the nature of their relationship, so there's no real expectation that he would take her side just because she's his girlfriend or anything, and they already have a lot of contention between them, but I think there's still room for to feel... I don't think betrayed is the right word because that's a little dramatic, but I think there's a lot of complicated emotions that could arise from that, right? Picture it from Alyssa's angle: she wound up wrapped up in something she never intended and was desperate trying to save face even though her choices were not the kindest, they were what she thought was right in the moment, and in the end she wound up hurting someone she (presumably) never intended to hurt, did something she never meant to do. And though she's not in love with Nol, and maybe they aren't even truly friends, wouldn't you feel some kind of complex feelings akin to betrayal for him to support the person directly involved with this? It's an interesting scenario and I DO like to hope it would make her think about true friendship. I can't say I'm confident it could make her reassess her approaches, but that's more because I cannot say I'm confident about anything Alyssa might do lol. In such a scenario, I'd hope she'd finally understand what it means to have a handful of people in your corner, rather than a lot of people who only care about one facet of you, a persona that may not even be real. In fact, I think this would be SUCH an interesting thing to explore, but I don't think we'll really get a chance to without adding 3 more years to the story lol, but isn't there something compelling in that kind of lonely story? Once again, this is a reason I've really come to love Alyssa as a character - there is SO MUCH that can be done with her!

I do think, though, you are right in that it needs to be more than just that fall from grace and finding herself alone - being juxtaposed against someone like Shinae who would have people supporting her, reassuring her. It's one of the best ways for her to really face that void she's trying to fill and finally understand what she really seeks.

Now, trying to tie this back into the sexuality, god, if done right, it could be so tender, couldn't it? I know I said I'm opposed to Alyssa being outed by someone else, because it doesn't sit right with me, and that's such a dangerous thing for someone if they are surrounded by people who don't support her, but also a story is not about the "right" choices because as we've learned lol in general, people do NOT make the right choices. So the idea of Alyssa being outed but defended by people who she doesn't have a good track record with, because they are, at heart, good people who think it's unfair to do that to someone, to reveal something so private before they are ready, makes me want to cry, frankly lol. For Alyssa, she'd be getting another taste of what she lost, of what she has willingly thrown away, and yes, I think that could actually do a good job of making her see that.

Ultimately a thought I have about most characters (and, frankly, people in general) is that often we have to go through something to change, or to finally see and face the ugly in ourselves, to address something we've been avoiding, to take on something we are running from. It is human nature to be so wrapped up in our own experiences that we forget others have experiences and biases of their own. For Nol to change, to be more honest with himself, he essentially had to "lose it all". To be fair, he sort of threw in the towel himself, decided to be exactly what he's been painted as and give up his efforts to try to have a better life - but that's still prompted by two points of "failure". He was a good person at the formal, tried to save a friend, and in the end he couldn't do it and she got hurt, plus the drug and assault charges. He was pushed to the brink and even when being a person who cars, even when being a good friend, it backfired. Likewise, it blew up his option to go away and escape, to attend his father's alma matter and not only prove to everyone he was more than they believed he was, but to find peace for a while. For him, he lost things because he dared to defy this life so he decided to concede, and in conceding he loses his escape, his chance to maybe make his father proud, and he lost his friends, because in his eyes he was not worthy of them and would only endanger them. Only then, after listening to Shinae's desperate attempts to lure him out, when lmao attacked by her cat, the final straw!!! Did he come out - and he had no intention of coming clean to Shinae, she just happened to overhear him!

I think it will be the same for Alyssa and Kousuke - that they cannot simply wake up and decide to change, or see themselves for what they are. They have to reach a point that forces them to contend with that. It's so easy to say "Why can't Alyssa just realize that fame is not the same as friendship", but someone who has conflated friendship with idolization isn't going to see it the same. Someone who has believed that popularity feels more secure cannot see that for themselves. Logically, she knows the love her fans have towards her is conditional. That's the whole point of that incident with the fans that spotted her out with Nol - even though Nol is right to tell them off for bothering her after she politely told them she can't take a picture, she also knows that fans will only give you their support as long as they like you. Refuse their whims and they'll take to the internet to trash you to anyone who will listen. She knows that's not real love, but it's all she has so she's clinging to it. What will prompt her to change, otherwise?

The more I ramble about this lol the more I think you are right: she has to see that hollow popularity foiled against true friendship, and maybe even be reminded of what it feels like, what it's like to be supported unconditionally. Even though I've repeated that I don't want her outed against her will, I cannot deny how much I would love to see at least Nol and Shinae try to protect her. I love the complexity of it - that they are both people she has hurt in some way, that she has used in some way, but could still be allies to her. Shinae has made it clear that her feelings about Alyssa are complex - that though she doesn't seem to hold a grudge, the weight of what transpired between them still weighs heavy on her and what she really wants is clarity, to clear the air and understand. There's something painful and messy about being defended by people you feel guilt and regret towards, especially as people who probably offered some of the truest friendship she's know. (I mean, I say this loosely because, again, Nol lol likely befriended Alyssa for his quest for absolution and while he didn't intend to truly be their friend, he still was a good friend to them?) I guess what I'm getting at is: I love those complex, nuanced kinds of events, where maybe they will never become friends again, but maybe the genuine act of defending her could be the thing that makes her want to be a better person, to form real friendships and be her honest self. I hope Alyssa sometimes thinks about the first friend she made in middle school, who thought everything about her that other kids might find weird was cool, and feels some kind of regret.

lol as always this has gone on a whole tangent that was not intended but also, as always, these kinds of asks get me thinking about a lot of things! Frankly, I do not know what to expect of the second half of ILY. I don't know where we will leave the story in the present, or what we'll be set up for then, but I hope that when we see the characters as adults, we may get to see more of that complexity, of exploring and overcoming the things that have been holding you back. Alyssa is an extremely unlikeable character for good reason, but I just can't help but want to continue to see her involved in a big way, you know? There's just something so COMPELLING about her relationships with everyone!

Now lol with all that said, I will fully acknowledge that I think there IS a good chance that Alyssa could dig her heels in, because as I've said before, it is very likely that not all characters will overcome their pasts. Again, we see it with grown adults every day of life - that we are shaped by experiences and by our willingness to learn and unlearn. Is Alyssa willing to let something go or would she decide to push back and fight it, to find a way to shift blame, which would only get netizens more fired up. I WANT Alyssa to make some non-shitty choices for once, but that doesn't mean that's the arc she's on lol. I would not be surprised in the least if she found a way to try to deflect lol. Just, yknow. A resigned sigh like yup that's her lol. Flawed people can die flawed without making attempts to change, and I don't want that for her but look, sometimes that's life.

Man, this took me so long to answer and I apologize! My brain has been running away all week ;_____; some days I can sit down and bang out a response, other days the words are all jumbled in my head and it feels like I have to make a game of stringing them together since I can't telepathically write my responses. But as always, thank you for this ask and indulging in my love of Not Great Women characters lmao

#I Love Yoo #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #ILY Brainrot #Alyssa Cho #Shinae Yoo #this is really only semi related but i gotta say: every time i answer asks like this it makes me wish i was capable of writing fic lol #there's so many things i think would be fun to explore in characters in universe but i just don't have the brains to think about where i #think this story is going and where i could set them TO explore that #i would LOVE to explore Alyssa facing the loneliness of a life she doesn't love yknow? #i'm still convinced she's an idol only for some other reasons - that maybe she thought being a trainee would boost her popularity and she #never intended to actually debut but yui came along and pulled some strings and now she's stuck doing something she doesn't love and never #wanted? GOD. that there are kids who would KILL to be in her role and she feels like she was pushed into it when she didn't truly want it? #that she's been performing so long she doesn't know how to be herself or if her true self even exists anymore - if she ever did? #or that maybe writing and composing is the only time she feels truly in touch with what she wants #idk maybe she HAS come to love performing! she was so excited to perform their new song and so mad Nol ruined the night but also #that could just be because it was a song SHE wrote something that's close to her something more in tune with her and she was upset he #ruined the night because it was supposed to be her big moment and now it's forever tainted #(plus yknow despite the fake dating i think she liked that he attended the party because it made her feel like maybe they were friends #again. so finding out he didn't even want to be there that there was somewhere else he wanted to be MORE hurt because it meant she was not #his first choice. it meant her friendship didn't mean anything or matter you know?) #GOOOOOOOOD i miss being confident in my writing because it would be SO satisfying to explore I JUST. LOVE TO EXPLORE EMOTIONS esp for #things that may never come to be stories that may not be what is really being told you know? #anyway as always thanks for enjoying my extreme rambling lmao

[ottoline-otter]

every so often i'll think oh, i wish there was a tv show that had all these things, and then after a moment i realise i'm just describing anne with an e and then i get mad all over again that it got cancelled

#the thing is that i really love tv shows that are set in the past but are about teenage girls but the main girl is also quirky & dreamy #& allowed to be feminine but also a strong female character & also the show is cosy & aestheticcy & deals with friendship & also it has #important messages and powerful storylines & also it's at least mostly historically accurate & also genuinely good and - #and well. anne with an e was litarally ALL those things and i'm so mad we didn't get a season 4 >:( >:( >:( #i should rewatch it actually. maybe read the books too