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qveerthe0ry · 3 months

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Lions Ain't the Kind - Part One

Summary: Frankie hasn't dated in years, but now he knows what he's looking for. He's just not so good at asking for what he wants, and you're willing to help him work on it. Word Count: 8,156 Pairing: Frankie Morales x NB/Gender-fluid! AFAB! Reader Rating: 18+ Explicit Warnings: 18+ mdni, subby!Frankie, soft dom! reader, talks about gender non-conformity, sickening fluff, Frankie is way too cute and sweet for his own good, kissing, making out, handjob (m receiving), anal fingering (m receiving), dirty talk, Frankie has a praise kink, no use of y/n, no physical descriptions of reader Beta: @perotovar (my angel ilysm) A/N: Sorry for talking about this for a month straight without posting it lol! The title is from the song (Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear by Elvis Presley which I admittedly haven't listened to but I saw the lyrics and knew immediately it was my Frankie. I hope you enjoy, and I'm always open to criticism and thoughts and thots!

Frankie hasn’t dated in years. He hasn’t really had the time, between his first child being born and navigating co-parenting with his ex, along with healing some very deep trauma and getting and staying clean.

It just hasn’t been on his mind, if he’s honest. He’s been busy finding himself, as Pope calls it. And he’s not wrong. It’s taken a long while for him to be comfortable in his own skin, to come to terms with the things he’s done and the baggage he can now store in an overhead bin, rather than carry it around with him at all times.

But now, he’s ready. He knows himself, and as a result, he knows what he’s looking for.

Someone kind-hearted and down to earth. Someone who’s independent and established, but not just looking for a hookup. Someone with a sweet smile and a desire for enjoying the little things in life.

Someone like you.

He’d swiped right and left dozens of times on men and women alike, but as soon as he saw your profile on whatever dating app he’d downloaded, he was hooked.

You were gorgeous. He felt the heat from your smile through his phone screen, so happy and genuine and sweet.

You were funny, the answers to those weird icebreaker questions full of witty remarks.

You were smart, clearly, from your shoutout to your alma matter and the ‘boring’ job you mentioned in your profile.

He honestly figured he had no chance at all. His face is only getting more wrinkly, and his hair more gray, and he’s never been the sharpest or funniest guy in the room.

So when he swiped left and you matched, he was stunned. He was even more shocked when you messaged him before he could even think of what to say to you.

Hi cutie 🥰

Despite the fact that he was home alone on his couch, he had the sudden urge to look behind him, as if you’d be talking to someone else. The back of his neck got so warm, and your boldness only made him more into you.

So he messaged you back

Hi :) how are you?

I’m surprised we matched, honestly. Pleasantly surprised 😊

Same here :) Why the surprise though? I’m sure you match with everyone

Not at all, it’s hard to find people whose type I am on here. I usually use the queer dating apps but I opened this one out of boredom. What are the chances?

What are the chances, indeed, Frankie thinks, as he gives your profile another look over. Frankie doesn’t understand how you aren’t everyone’s type. He feels a little bit like he’s talking to a celebrity, looking at your pictures and just a snippet of who you are on this reductive dating app.

I like the odds :)

——

As your conversation continues normally over the next few days, Frankie learns a lot about you. He also learns a lot about himself.

It’s been so long since he’s played the field, so to speak, that he’s rusty as all hell and a bit awkward. He’s afraid to flirt too much, every message deleted and re-written at the risk of sounding too cheesy or too forward or too much.

You aren’t afraid to flirt. You send ‘good morning, handsome’ and ‘sweet dreams, pretty boy’ texts every day and night. You tell him your day would be better if you could cuddle someone, you tell him when you’re taking a relaxing bath that you wished he were there to join you.

And to say that Frankie likes it is a massive fucking understatement.

He adores it, he thinks about you constantly, all day long while he works without access to his phone, all evening long while he waits on your replies, all night long, when you’ve bid each other goodnight out of nothing but courtesy for each other’s sleep schedules.

You lead him along like a timid puppy on a leash, showing him new things with patience and care and it drives him insane. He wants to meet up with you so bad, or even just call you on the phone to hear your voice. He thinks about it, late at night, if it’s higher or lower in register, if it’s smooth or raspy. He wants to learn everything about you.

That being said, he’s not sure if he’s ever met someone who’s ‘non-binary/gender-fluid’ before. He doesn’t get out much, he hardly talks to anyone who he hasn’t known for years.

So he googles. It doesn’t really help. He understands what it means, but he doesn’t know what it means to you. He wants to ask you a million questions, but is afraid to bring up even one, and ruin the moment, or sound like an idiot.

You’re so kind though. So he bites the bullet.

Can I ask you a question?

Your response comes almost immediately, now that it’s evening time, both finished with dinner— his takeout vs. your leftover spaghetti.

Of course, pretty boy ❤️

He still flushes deep when you call him that, heat spreading all throughout his face and neck and chest.

How did you know you were non-binary/ gender-fluid?

He frets over the text a bunch before he sends it, making sure he worded it the same way you did in your profile. His heart pounds as he waits for your response.

I’ve always just kind of known I didn’t feel like a man or a woman. I used to think everyone felt somewhere in between, and it was just normal to not feel like I checked either box, but then I realized no one else around me felt the way I did. And then I learned all the terms and whatnot, later on, and knew that’s what I am. Just kinda in between, neither and both, sometimes one and sometimes the other. If that makes sense?

His smile splits his cheeks as he reads your in-depth response, eating up every bit of information you’re willing to give him.

That makes perfect sense to me. Thank you for sharing :)

It doesn’t scare you off?

Frankie scoffs, as if anything about you could scare him off. At this point, you could show up on his doorstep with a dead body in a bag, and he’d throw it in his trunk, dispose of it, and then ask if he could maybe kiss you.

Not at all. Nothing about you scares me :)

——

It’s a few more days before Frankie works up the courage to ask for your phone number. You tell him you were wondering when he was going to finally ask for it. It makes him itchy to think about you waiting for him to ask, making him be the one to do it. In a good way. In a way that kind of makes him stiffen up in his briefs if he thinks about it for too long.

But now, as he settles in from a long day at work, his grin splits his face from ear to ear as he reads your text.

Can I take you out tomorrow night?

He likes it… a lot. He feels so fucking new to all this, like a fumbling newborn calf taking its first steps, and how forward you are eases him so thoroughly.

I’d love that :)

Meet me here at 5 for dinner. Casual dress, but I’m sure you’ll be handsome in anything 😘

It’s the longest 22 hours of his life, and it’s the shortest, all at the same time. Texting you, making funny jokes like his bones aren’t about to creep right out from under his skin with all the nerves buzzing his body. Thinking about you, dreaming about you, one right after the other. When he wakes in the morning it’s like he didn’t get a wink of sleep, his anxiety drumming up a million different scenarios of how it could go right and wrong.

Calling Santi mid-morning on a Saturday when he knows he’s spending time with his family, because if he doesn’t talk to someone about this he may just float off into the ether.

“I’m so fucking nervous, Pope, what do I do? How do I act? Can you just stake out at the bar and feed me lines through an earpiece?”

“Pendejo, fucking— grow a pair man. You’re cute and funny, you’ve got this.”

Reading your texts with pupils shaped like hearts:

I can’t wait to see you tonight, cutie ❤️

and

I finally settled on an outfit

and

Is it weird that I’m not even nervous? I’m just excited to finally meet you

It is weird, Frankie thinks, but doesn’t dare tell you. It’s weird how he can’t even eat the plain toast he made for lunch without feeling bile rise in the back of his throat, and you’re just excited. It’s weird how he’s never, ever felt so gone over someone, and you haven’t even met yet.

It’s not weird, it’s sweet :) I’m excited too <3

It’s not a lie, but he’s omitting the truth a bit. He’s excited but he’s nervous, picking meticulously through his closet to find something casual but not too casual, something he likes the look of himself in, something he thinks you’ll like the look of.

It only gets worse as he stares at google maps. The restaurant is 2.6 miles away, 11 minutes from his house. It’s 4:30, and he wants to leave already, but thinks maybe it’s better to deal with the anxiety in the comfort of his home rather than the parking lot, in case you’re there early too, and you can see how much of a fucking wreck he is.

He watches the minutes tick up in the corner of his phone screen. At 4:36, he gets up, fusses in the mirror one last time, and leaves.

When he parks in the lot in front of the bar & grill, you’ve already texted him.

I’m here a little early, got all green lights. Saved us a table near the back. See you soon!

It’s 4:52.

He takes a deep breath through his nose, closes his eyes as he lets it out gently, counting just like his therapist taught him. And again. And one more time, and finally that anxious tingling in his fingertips is muted a bit and his heart rate is only slightly above normal.

4:54.

He pulls the key from the ignition, gets out of the car, and makes his way to the door.

He finds you instantly.

You’re looking at him, and you’re smiling, and getting up from your chair as he approaches you. He barely even hears you greet him with all his blood rushing in his ears.

“Hi, Frankie,” you say, and your arms stretch out to invite him in for a hug.

He melts into your arms, his strained “hi” muffled in the crook of your neck. You squeeze him tight to you, and he hears you chuckle next to his ear.

“Knew you’d be even cuter in person.”

He huffs out a laugh as you release him, and the tips of his ears burn. But you’re smiling so sweetly at him that it eases his nervous bones.

“You look— can I call you handsome?”

Fuck, he thinks, so fucking awkward.

But your grin gets even wider.

“Only if you mean it.”

“I do,” he sighs, “like straight out of the cologne ads I’d rip out of my older sister’s magazines.”

He holds his breath as you react, the flutter of your eyelashes and the quivering of your lips and your laugh, bubbly and bright and soothing.

And he isn’t lying, not even a little. You’re rugged but soft, romantic and alluring, and he can’t take his eyes off you.

Even as you take your seats across from each other, and the waiter comes to take your drink orders, and as your gorgeous eyes flit across the pages of the menu. He can’t stop looking, watching your mouth curve into a smile as you talk about your week and ask him about his.

It’s pathetic, really, when the waiter asks if you’re ready to order, and you ask if he knows what he wants, because he hasn’t taken a single glance at the menu himself. He just hopes to god the dim lighting of the bar hides his flushed face and tells you to order first while he skims the menu.

He ends up ordering exactly what you got, and floundering when your hand finds his on the tabletop. He watches your fingers trace his own from his nails to his knuckles, and flips his palm up for you to rest your hand in his.

“I’m glad you came out with me tonight,” you tell him.

His eyes flicker up from your joined hands to your smiling face, and his nerves completely melt away from the heat of your gaze.

“Thank you for asking me,” he says.

“Would you have asked me, if I hadn’t asked you?”

He bites the inside of his cheek, and there’s a teasing glint in your eyes.

“Eventually,” he nods, “I mean… probably.”

Your eyebrows turn up in question, and he realizes how that sounds, jumping to backtrack.

“Not like that! I just mean— You know… You’re uh… well, I feel like you’re way out of my league. And so maybe I’m a little… intimidated.”

You smile, then, and sigh, and squeeze his hand as you call him a sweet boy. It makes the room feel like it’s a hundred degrees warmer, like Frankie’s clothes are suddenly two sizes too small.

“You aren’t so good at asking for what you want, are you?”

He laughs then, and shakes his head.

“Not really, no.”

“We’ll have to work on that, then.”

He clears his throat, and tugs at his collar with his free hand, breaking his gaze away from your face as you chuckle. He looks to find a waiter, or maybe an HVAC guy that could crank the AC to sub-zero temps for the remainder of the date.

No luck.

The rest of the date goes well. Surprisingly well. Frankie was worried that he’d be so out of practice that he’d freeze up, or say something stupid, or do something stupid, like knock over a drink or get food stuck in his teeth.

But you’re just so easy to talk to, to click with. Of course, you’re the one who facilitates the conversation, asking him about his favorites— movies, TV shows, music, time of year.

But he likes to think that he keeps the ball rolling well enough, is aware enough to remember to ask for some of your favorites— holiday, food, cocktails.

By the time the check comes, he hardly realizes you’ve both had empty plates in front of you for a while, talking and laughing through your meals like you’re just catching up with an old friend.

He protests when you grab the check, because of course he does. You’ve given him this incredible night, your comfortable company, your sweet smiles, and he feels like his offerings pale in comparison.

“I asked you out, Francisco,” you tease him, having just learned his full name a mere 20 minutes ago.

And he can’t really protest anymore, what with the shiver that’s tingling his spine and the goosebumps he tries to hide by gripping the chair underneath him. So he lets you pay, and thanks the waiter, and feels a rush of sadness when they come back with the check to sign. He really doesn’t want this evening to end.

The apprehension falls second to the sensation of your hand on the small of his back, leading him out to the parking lot.

“Where’s your car? I’ll walk you there,” you say, your thumb pressing a soothing circle into the base of his spine.

So he walks to his truck, a little self-conscious about the out-of-dateness of it, and how he didn’t think to run it through a car wash before this. But mostly he’s just nervous about ending this date on a good note.

“This is me,” he says, barely above a whisper, stopping at his driver’s side door.

You smile at him when he turns to you.

“Thanks again for coming out with me. I really did have a great time.”

This makes him smile through the unease, even as your hand drops from the small of his back.

“I did too. Would you uh… wanna hang out again soon?”

Your face lights up, and Frankie wants to capture it in a bottle and take it home with him. Keep it at his bedside to use as a nightlight.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

He chuckles and looks down to his feet like maybe it’ll redirect the flush in his face. You grab his hand, hanging by his side, and luckily you don’t make him speak again because he doesn’t know if he’s even able.

“I’d love to. Really.”

He smiles when he looks back up at you, only briefly, because you drop his hand and take a half step back.

“Call me about it.”

“Wait!”

Your brow arches at him, because you weren’t really going anywhere, but Frankie’s mind is running a thousand miles a second. He thinks back to all the times you’ve goaded him into asking for what he wants, so far, and how it hasn’t bit him in the rear yet.

“Can we— I… Can I kiss you goodnight?”

Your smile softens, and you take that little half-step back closer to him, and he feels all the tension leak from his shoulders.

“Yes, you can. Thank you for asking.”

He huffs, and smiles at you, and you’re reaching out to cup his jaw and grab his hip, and Frankie closes his eyes far too early, but it’s okay, because he feels your body heat and then your lips.

He can’t hold back the hum that rumbles from deep in his chest, or the way that he goes a little boneless in your grasp. He finds your forearm and squeezes it, and your bicep too, anything to ground himself as your lips part and your tongue teases the seam of his lips.

But then you’re pulling back, and it’s over far too quickly, and Frankie is also acutely aware of how tight his jeans feel. His face feels like it could melt right off of his skull.

“Call me soon, Pretty Boy.”

He nods, speechless, and watches you disappear between the cars of the parking lot. On his way home, he’s already fretting over whether or not he should text you tonight, and what kind of date he should plan, and if his breath was okay when you let him kiss you.

——

Frankie is perfect.

You’re still not sure how you found this diamond in the rough that is Tinder. You thank every god you know the name of that you got bored and opened the app on auto-pilot that night.

First of all, he’s so cute. He’s handsome in such a boyish way, with his dimples and unruly curls and patchy beard.

But he’s also so kind, the way he talks to you like it’s a privilege, the way he asks careful and curious questions about you like he truly wants to know the parts of you that are deeper than what’s on the surface.

Every simple text from him makes you smile, the way he always tries to make you laugh or cheer you up when you’re overwhelmed with the demands of life, as you often are.

And meeting him in person solidified everything you thought about him.

He seems like the textbook definition of a golden retriever boyfriend, if you ever get to call him that much. You hope you do.

In fact, it seems like it’s moving quite quickly in that direction when Frankie asks if you’d be down for a movie night. Some blockbuster he missed in theaters is finally streaming, and he thinks you’ll like it.

You don’t tell him that you didn’t miss it in theaters, or that you thought it was just okay.

You do tell him you’d be down to watch it, only if he came to your place, where the walls are thin and your surrounding neighbors all know you and watch out for you. Just in case he’s really good at acting like a sweet, safe guy.

You find yourself giddy as the weekend approaches, daydreaming at work about how the night will turn out. You tell him to come in comfy clothes, because you’ll be damned if you wear jeans in your own home, even for this sweet man. He doesn’t seem to mind one bit, that’s my favorite kind of outfit :) is his cute response.

You get everything ready the day of; your coziest blankets hang off the arms of your sofa, your fridge is stocked with fresh fruits and your pantry with candy and microwave popcorn and chips (I’ll eat whatever you get :) his answer to your questioning of his favorite movie snacks, of course.)

And then you sit around and wait, excited nerves coaxing your body to straighten things up that have been straightened up a million times already. When Frankie texts you his ETA, you park yourself on the couch by the door and stare at it until there’s a knock on it.

You may count to ten before you get up to open it, just to hide how eager you’ve been to see him again.

Your throat does get a little dry when you answer it to find him in a dark blue t-shirt that hugs his arms and light gray joggers that hug… Other things.

“Hi handsome,” you smile, pushing down all the nerves and the less-than-PG thoughts.

“Hi. I um… I brought these. I noticed you ordered them on our uh– well, at the restaurant, and I didn’t want to show up empty handed.”

You watch a flush break out on his face, and his neck, and wonder how far under his collar it actually spreads.

He’s holding up a six pack of your favorite beers, and he’s smiling so shyly, and you have to crowd in closer to him to press a kiss to his heated cheek.

“That’s so thoughtful, thank you.”

He giggles— giggles, Jesus Christ— and you take them from his hand to let him come through the door.

You set the beers in your fridge to let them chill as he kicks off his shoes. You watch him from the kitchen as he takes in your place with his pretty brown eyes.

“It’s really cozy in here,” he tells you as he fiddles with his own hands.

“Snuggle up, get comfy, I’ll bring us some snacks.”

He nods, so obedient, and hovers by the couch before settling on the seat in the middle.

Sly move, you think, and you can’t hide your stupid grin as you gather some snacks.

When you turn off all but one lamp and deposit the junk food on the coffee table, you notice he’s inched himself closer to the arm of the couch, like he was second-guessing himself. That just won’t do, you think, as you settle in right next to him, so close that the length of your body is pressed against his.

He doesn’t look at you, just stares at the Roku City scrolling across your flat screen. For a second you think he might be uncomfortable, but the way his breathing is uneven clues you in on his nerves.

You reach over him to grab the blanket in the arm of the couch, and you feel his muscles tense up when you press against him.

“Frankie?”

“Huh? Sorry, yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head and sighs, heavy and long, before looking at you.

“I’m so nervous.”

He smiles in spite of it, lopsided, dimples so cute that your lips quiver with the urge to kiss them.

You smile back, and drape the blanket over both of you, patting his leg through it.

“Nothing to be nervous about, Francisco.”

It gets a laugh out of him, a huff through his nose, and his shoulders lower the tiniest bit. You slowly reach up to cradle his jaw in your palm, careful not to spook this little baby deer of a man, but his face leans into your touch.

“If it helps, I think it’s really sweet that you’re nervous.”

“Thank you… I think?”

You laugh at him, and watch as your reaction makes his eyes brighten. You want to kiss him. You want to smooch the absolute daylights out of him, but there’s still 3 hours of a pretentious movie to watch, and there will be plenty of time, if he’s amenable.

So you just pinch his cheek before you let go, and try not to look so smug at the heat that consumes his face as you get the movie up and running.

Fifteen or so minutes into the film, Frankie has relaxed into the couch, though he’s stock-still beside you with his arms glued to his own sides. You just want to cuddle, at least. You’ve been thinking about it for weeks— getting his warm, solid but soft body against your own.

You’re certain he won’t be the one to initiate it, but that’s all fine and dandy. You rearrange yourself a bit, and sling an arm over his shoulders. He looks away from the movie towards you, and you give him a smile that must be comforting.

He sinks lower on the couch, and leans against you, his messy curls pressed against your shoulder while his arm drapes over your lap. You think you hear his satisfied hum under the dialogue of the characters, and you let your head rest against his.

This is nice. Frankie’s so warm against you, the most comforting weight all lax against your side. Your hand creeps up from his shoulder to his head, and his hair is so silky when you finally work up the gall to run your fingers through it.

You can feel the way it affects him when he shivers and presses even closer into you. You watch the movie like that for a while, snacks untouched, fingertips stroking his scalp as his soft curls slip through your digits. Every once in a while his head tilts to look up at you, piercing brown, and each time you smile back down and ruffle his hair.

It’s just after the first big conflict of the film when you feel Frankie shift against you. His arm moves in your lap, and you watch his thick fingers grab your thigh over the blanket.

It shocks you how such a simple gesture makes your temperature rise. You hum and let your nails scratch more firmly against his head. You can hear him gasp, and feel him move impossibly closer, like he’s trying to fuse the two of you together. You glance down at him, past the curls you’ve lost yourself in, and his eyes are closed. Further, the curve of his nose and pout of his lips, his chest that’s heaving with his excited breaths, you notice a suspicious tent in the blanket, and you don’t want to assume, but the context clues are all there.

Frankie is hard.

You can’t blame him. You’ve been aroused since you pressed his body against yours, a slow simmering underneath the surface that’s made you feel so comfortably warm and relaxed.

You shift, and you swear you hear a barely-there whine leave his lips. You move just enough so you can press your free hand to his chest. Under your palm, you can feel his heart beating, a pace that’s concerningly higher than appropriate for sitting and watching dialogue in a movie.

His head turns toward you, his hair slipping through the grasp of your knuckles. He looks up at you with those puppy eyes and his pupils are so dilated that it makes you take a deep breath. He turns his body toward you next and there it is the hard line of his cock pressed against the outside of your thigh. You see him shudder at the friction, watch his eyes grow droopy as they flicker down to glance at your lips.

“Can I kiss you again?”

And he asks so sweetly, voice a little hoarse from the silence, that you couldn’t dream of denying him.

“Yes, Frankie.”

His lips tremble until they meet yours, so soft and chaste, a stark contrast to his scruffy beard and mustache. His breath hitches; you can hear it and feel it. His chest shudders under your palm and pushes air out to gust against your cheeks. You feel his prick, too, twitching against your thigh as your tongue peeks out to tease his pouty bottom lip.

He pulls back so much quicker than you want him to, but it’s also such a reward to look at him this close. His lips shiny, his cheeks flushed, his irises completely usurped by his pupils. His mouth hangs open and you can’t help yourself as you slide your hand from his chest to his jaw and pull him into you once again.

A surprised little noise works its way out of his throat, and his hips jerk forward, and then he’s groaning as his cock throbs against the outside of your thigh. The noise makes that feeling in your gut draw deeper, lower, and you make one of your own in response.

His hand rests dutifully still on your thigh, but you can feel his fingers twitching as your taste buds rub against his– a friction that has no right to be as delicious as it is. You want him to feel you up, to touch you all over, to give in to the desire that’s blatantly pressed against you. You want to hear these noises he seems to be holding back, the whimpers that just barely make it past his vocal chords before he cuts them off.

You pull away this time. Pride swells in your chest as you look at what you’ve already done to him. His curls are even messier now that you’ve run your fingers through them over and over. His eyes are all glassy when he looks at you, pouty lips slick and red.

He sits so still, aside from his heaving breaths, like he’s waiting for your command.

“Tell me what you want, Frankie.”

His eyes widen and christ, if they get any wider they’re going to suck you in like a supermassive black hole.

“I– I’m okay, I like this.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. He nods, trying to convince you, as he not-so-subtly pulls his erection free from its trap between his body and your thigh. His eyes cast downward, but you swiftly grab his chin in your hands to bring them back to you.

“Francisco,” you mumble, “ask for what you want.”

He gasps and bites his plush bottom lip, hard enough that there’s little indents when he opens his mouth. He shuts it again, and squirms against you, and finally opens it once more.

“I want you to touch me.”

His request comes out hardly above a whisper, all broken and breathy, and his gaze settles somewhere behind you.

“Is that all?”

He nods quickly, eyes snapping back to you.

“I swear– I just wanna feel your hands on me.”

Your smile widens as his face gets so serious, eyebrows knitting together.

“That’s good, that’s really good,” you mumble.

The shudder that visibly rolls through him is like a shockwave, sending every one of your nerve endings on-edge. You huff, an amazed little breath at this fucking guy in front of you, so responsive and timid and utterly fuckable.

“You like that? Like being good for me?”

He nods again, more apprehensive this time, but he can’t hold back his whine when his hips press against you. The possibilities of all the things you could do to this man stretch far and wide; it’s entirely overwhelming.

“Sweet boy,” you whisper, because he is, “c’mere.”

You pull the blanket off of you both, and Frankie reaches down to adjust himself so it isn’t so obvious, like you haven’t felt his cock twitching against you this entire time. It’s so endearing you think you could cry, but you’re much too turned on for sentiment at the moment. Instead, you guide him to straddle you, hands on his slender hips until his thighs cage your own.

For a moment you just watch as he sits patiently, obediently, waiting for your next words like his cock isn’t leaking a pretty little damp patch into his sweatpants. His chest heaves with every breath, and his tongue licks and bites at his swollen lips, and his eyes stay trained on your mouth in anticipation.

“So pretty,” you whisper.

His long eyelashes flutter at your compliment, and he turns his head to try and hide his reaction, but it doesn’t mask the way his prick twitches under gray fabric. Your hands find his waistband and tease the edge and you delight in the way he shivers.

You need to feel more, so you press your hands under his shirt and hum at what you find. A soft tummy and smooth skin that makes way for a small trail of wiry hairs. It’s all revealed to you a moment later when you hike his shirt higher, reach for pecs that are more solid than you imagined, and the smallest nipples you think you’ve ever had your hands on.

You look back up to his face for permission with a quirked brow, and he nods eagerly, grabbing the back of his collar to shed the material and bare himself and it’s so lovely. There’s so much tan skin, hardly any of it is obstructed by hair, just the errant freckle here or there. And you can’t help it, you have to lean forward and take one of his nipples into your mouth.

He gasps your name, but one of his hands finds the back of your head to keep you in place. You hum around the little nub, so small you have trouble getting your teeth to bite down on it, but you do and then he groans, his hips jerking in your hold on them.

“Is this how you wanted me to touch you?”

You lean your head back to look him in the eyes, to watch a pained expression flit over his face as he tries to come up with an answer he thinks you’ll like.

“I like this too,” he nods, “but I, um… fuck–”

He cuts himself off to hide his face in his hands. He is so cute and so sexy at the same time, it’s making your brain go haywire.

“Tell me, Frankie. Be good for me, Pretty Boy.”

He shifts on top of you as he looks up at your ceiling. You soothe your hands up and down his flanks and wait patiently for him to find the words.

He drops his hand from his face, fists clenching down by his sides, but he finally looks down at you and smiles, shy and sweet, just a hint of that dimple you adore rearing its head.

“Touch my cock? You got me so hard.”

You smile bright at his request, and nod, and press a kiss to his sternum.

“Anything you want,” you mumble, “just gotta ask. Just like that.”

He looks pretty proud of himself. There’s a twinkle in his eyes as you look up at him, and you take a playful bite of his skin and savor the gasp it coaxes out of him.

“Let’s get these off, yeah?”

Your fingers sneak under his waistband and his skin is so hot under there, searing. You only have a few moments to bask in the warmth before he stands up to remove his pants and briefs in one bashful move.

Jesus.

He’s so gorgeous, bare for you, vulnerable, excited. His foreskin is all pulled back, revealing a delicious looking string of pre-cum from his slit. You desperately want to lean forward and taste— but he didn’t ask for that, and you won’t give it to him unless he does.

Stunned a bit silent, you pat your lap, urging him to settle back over it. Much to your delight, he does, quick and obedient. An approving hum bubbles up out of your chest, and he preens as he sits on your thighs.

There’s a very wicked feeling in you as you stare at him, completely naked, while you haven’t shed a single layer of clothing. Control, and trust, and power. It’s overwhelming in a way that makes your lungs feel too inflated for your rib cage, to know you could take advantage of it, and to know you never ever would.

“Good boy,” you whisper, finally, testing those waters.

Frankie’s dick twitches between you two, and you huff and smile and wonder how something so perfect and precious has literally landed right in your lap.

He’s been more than good, and so with one hand you grab his hip to steady him, and the other takes his cock as gentle as ever. A sharp inhale inflates his chest as you stroke the smooth skin, a teasing, feather-light touch that makes his legs tense up in your lap. You watch him disappear and reappear through the loose circle of your hand, watch another clear droplet bead from his slit when you squeeze him tighter.

“Does this feel good?”

He’s watching your hand work when you look back up to his face. He nods, a jerky movement that seems to shake his entire body, and he’s so on-edge. You feel it in the way he shifts his weight on top of you.

“Words, Frankie,” you urge, a soft smile on your face.

“So good.”

You hum, taking in the way his eyes flutter open and closed, the way his adam’s apple pokes out when he leans his head back.

You reward him by speeding up your strokes. You squeeze his hip with your free hand, kneading at the soft flesh there, while you lean forward to press kisses into his virtually hairless chest. His skin is so hot it feels like it could burn you, flushed such a pretty color, just like you knew it would be.

He whines when you gather up more pre cum with your thumb and gently massage it into his frenulum. You look up to find him staring down at you with glassy eyes, bottom lip tucked tight between his teeth.

“Can we kiss more?”

His voice is breathy, and you nod, and a fresh wave of arousal flushed through your system when his lips eagerly meet yours.

It’s sloppier, this time. Noisier, too, as you tighten your grip on his cock and begin to properly work your hand up and down his length. You steal his breath and his noises straight from his lungs, feel every shudder he pushes out when you twist your wrist just right or squeeze tighter.

His hips start to meet your thrusts, rutting into your hand, such a desperate little thing on top of you, all for you. You want to encourage him to take his pleasure from you, and so you slip your hand back from his waist, find the perfectly pert globe of his ass with your palm.

“Haa— shit.”

His words muffle into your kiss as his hips stutter in rhythm and you lean forward to smirk into the bald patch of his beard.

“Yeah?”

A gasp wrecks through his heaving chest as he nods.

“Please, fuck— please.”

You hum into his jaw and squeeze his cock and his ass respectively.

“Please what, Pretty Boy?”

He leans back. You watch him squeeze his eyes shut and shake his head from left to right.

“Tell me what you want, Frankie. Know you can.”

A big gulp of air, and then he opens his eyes to look at you, then blinks them shut again as his head lolls back in his shoulders.

“Touch me there. I— I can’t—”

“Shhh,” you take mercy on him, bringing your hand up from his backside to cradle his jaw in your palm. He tilts his head into your touch and opens his eyes.

“I got you, sweet boy,” you remind him.

He nods in understanding, shifting to kiss the heel of your palm. You let him rest his lips there as he catches his breath, feel them quivering every other upstroke of your hand on his prick.

But as he makes to move, you hold his jaw steady in your hand. His eyes flicker back to your face, and you wonder if you look as wrecked as you feel, if he can tell how beside yourself you really are.

Slowly, so he can pull away if he wants, you trace the pad of your middle finger along the seam of his lips. You’re awestruck at how they instantly fall open for you, greedy, something you’re definitely looking forward to exploring more later.

For now, you watch with hooded eyes as he takes it into his mouth, tongue curling and lapping at it. You briefly wonder if fingers are erogenous zones, beyond turned on at how warm and wet the inside of his mouth feels, how he suckles and releases, bobs his head over and over until you snap out of it.

“Good boy. Fucking perfect,” you sigh.

He gets a cocky little goofy grin on his face at the praise, but his prick twitches against your grasp. You squeeze it for good measure, and more of his pre-cum dribbles over your knuckles.

You lean into him again, and he leans into you, holding each other up. Your mouth finds his pebbled nipple once again as his prick drags across your shirt and saturates it. He hisses at the friction, then gasps when your hand grabs his ass cheek again.

You pull it as best as you can with one hand. It isn’t too difficult with how it fits so perfectly round in your palm. You squeeze it, massage it, note how the littlest hint of peach fuzz feels against your clammy hand. You wonder how it would feel under your tongue, too, how it would taste, how the fatty flesh would feel between your teeth.

His hips stutter forward when your finger, slick with his saliva, strokes the very top of his crack. And you don’t mean to tease too much, but his jerky movements and satisfied sounds when you do are like music to your ears.

Finally you find his hole, fluttering around nothing, so little and tight, all for you.

“Ohmygod.”

Frankie sounds pained, so much so that you look up from nuzzling his chest to watch his face. His brows are drawn tight with how his eyes are squeezed shut, and his mouth is hung open, slick with a little drool around the corners of his lips. Without context, maybe he would look pained, too, but the way his cock throbs and dribbles in your hand paints a completely different picture.

And what a pretty picture he is, gulping for air above you, thrusting his hips back into your finger and forward through your fist, like he’s so out of his mind that he can’t even make it up.

You apply more pressure to his impossibly tight pucker and sink your teeth into his skin at the way he whines for you. You do it again, and again, a patient little rhythm until it relaxes and the very tip of your finger slips into his warmth.

He groans, clenching tight around you.

“Okay, Frankie?”

He laughs, a little puff of air, and you feel it where you’re inside him.

“Gonna make me come,” he chokes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, don’t— fuck— please don’t stop.”

You hum into his chest, squeeze your hand tighter around his prick as you speed up your strokes. He’s groaning now, deep and low and constant, like he couldn’t hold it back if he tried.

You wiggle your finger against his rim, tugging him open for you, toying with the elastic muscle. He’s so pliable everywhere, opening up to you, happily taking what you give him.

In a stiff moment you think he isn’t into it, because he freezes up and goes silent. You make to slip out of him, but his warmth just drags you in.

And then his cock jumps in your grasp, and his hole clamps around your finger as he gasps your name, and he’s coming.

He shakes with it as he soaks your shirt and drips over your hand. You stroke him through it and marvel at the way he feels in your grasp and around you, violent waves of pleasure that you can sense where you touch him.

You look up to watch him tremble through it and he’s gorgeous. Sweat drips from his messy curls at his temple and paints a glimmer down his neck, all pulled taught as his head hangs back. His chest tastes salty under your tongue where it heaves, you can’t get enough of the flavor, or the wicked beating of his heart under your lips.

And his noises, fucking delicious, wrung-out curses that just keep tumbling from his red lips. His stomach trembles with his shaky breaths, and he sounds so wrecked as the last bit of his orgasm tricked down the back of your hand.

His whispered chants of “fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” slow to a stop just as his joints unlock and his muscles relax. You take it as a sign to loosen your grip on his spent cock and carefully slip your finger back out of him. It earns you one last whimper before he sags into you, a boneless little heap in your lap.

You unhand him to hold him against you, wipe your hand on the discarded blanket beside you so you can stroke his back with one hand and his fuzzy little buttcheek with the other.

You tell him how good he was for you, how pretty he is when he comes, how much you loved getting to do that to him.

It takes a while for him to catch his breath, and his huffs tickle that sensitive spot on your neck just below your ear.

“Holy shit,” he sighs.

You nod, because he’s correct. Holy shit, indeed.

His voice is a little hoarse, and you’re conflicted. You want to hold him as long as he’ll let you, but you know you should get him some water and at least a towel.

You shift under him and he whimpers, wraps his arms tighter around your shoulders.

There goes that idea.

You hold him closer, and smirk at the contented sigh that leaves him.

“I think… I think I just imprinted on you.”

It startles a laugh out of you, and he chuckles too, a tiny happy sound against your collar bone. You turn to kiss his heated cheek, and he lets you, before he turns his own head to fuse his lips to yours.

This kiss is lazy, unhurried, and the adrenaline from making him fall apart is slowly making way for more of that sticky-sweet arousal from earlier.

“I wanna make you come,” he mumbles against your lips.

You shake your head, but kiss him some more, as to not give him the wrong idea.

“Another night, Pretty Boy.”

He makes a disappointed sound, but continues to kiss you until you have to part for air. His brow is turned upward in question when you pull away.

“Did I do something wrong?”

You’re shaking your head before he even finishes his question.

“Not a single thing, Frankie. Just wanted to take care of you tonight.”

His shoulders relax at that, but his face is still confused. It’s a cute look on him, with his pouty lips and big brown eyes.

“You’d tell me right? If I made you uncomfortable? You can tell me. I don’t wanna upset you.”

And christ, you feel your heart melting and oozing through your rib cage at how earnest his voice is.

“I promise, I’ll tell you.”

That seems to quell his nerves, as he sinks back into you again with his sweaty curls pressed against your shoulder.

You’re sticky in more ways than one, and Frankie’s only getting heavier in your lap the sleepier he gets, but a giggle bubbles up out of you when you realize you’ve never been more comfortable than you are right now.

Frankie huffs in response, and you press him even tighter against you.

You don’t know where one-and-a-half dates and one sickeningly hot orgasm places the two of you. And maybe it’s greedy to think about with a handsome, sweet man in your arms, but you can’t push down the overwhelming feeling of wanting more.

next part

#x reader #sub! frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #nb reader #gender-fluid reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #frankie morales #frankie morales fanfiction #ppcu fanfiction #pedro pascal cinematic universe #frankie morales smut #triple frontier fanfiction

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kyouka-supremacy · 1 month

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Fukuchi for the ask game please!

Fukuchi, sure!

Favorite thing about them: Causing Akutagawa to die for Atsushi I think he's a very well written villain!! He's sympathetic and likeable and his motivations are sincerely noble and understandable. His plan fell a little short, but that's just bsd for you ahah. I like how he poses real and relevant political questions, I dig any sort of political discussion. Overall, he's just a character I have lots of fun to reflect over and talk about, but that's primarly due to being a politics nerd pffttt.

Least favorite thing about them: I find some of the gags he gets into quite unpleasant, it's not for my taste personally.

Favorite line:

Self-explainatory. But like, something that actually has to do with Fukuchi...

It's just, I get the sentiment? Like, I get the feeling of being willing to do anything if it's to save even one single person.

brOTP: Sorry for being predictable, but highkey Fukuchi and sskk lol. Because Fukuchi seems to care about them /so much/. I find it a truly moving part of chapters 84-88, how Fukuchi doesn't want to fight even more than sskk themselves. He's genuinely sorry for them. He offers them heartfelt advices. He waits for them, he gives them time to regrup. He offers to spare one of them. Fukuchi has been a kinder mentor figure to Akutagawa in twenty minutes than Dazai has been in six years. He compliments Akutagawa and acknoweladges his value and spares him words of respect even after his death. I just,,, in a perfect world he would have loved them dearly, and be the first supporter of their union.

OTP: I REALLY like Fukuchi and Fukuzawa. Tragic yaoi FOR REAL. Very characters who aren't canonically gay but whose behavior just makes so much sense if you read them as gay. Also my other personal shipped them before they got popular. They just care about each other SO MUCH they didn't ever denied it and yet are forced to be on opposite sides... Ultimate star crossed lovers fr.

nOTP: Nothing. I need to delete this section.

Random headcanon: I can't think of anything of a proper headcanon, but I feel like he's looked to Fukuzawa and Ranpo many times and intimately wished they could have created a family together. I feel like the chapter 83.3 cover (the one a little further below) is exactly what Fukuchi would have dreamed his life to be if the world was different.

Unpopular opinion: I'm glad he killed Akutagawa. Duh. I've said this so many times but the “I wish Akutagawa didn't die” is a sentiment I really can't share.

Song i associate with them: I can't believe I could actually think of something, but Knife by rerulili is perfect as the love triangle / katanas / dying in your gay lover's arms story.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Send me a character?

#Took a break yesterday because i wasn't home the whole day! I'm taking these indefinitely btw #Still haven't been asked the characters Ryuunosuke Akutagawa and Atsushi Nakajima from the manga Bungou Stray Dogs. Btw #ōchi fukuchi #bsd #mine #people asks me stuff #Thank you for asking <333

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justfinishedreading · 11 months

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My Wondering Warrior Existence by Nagata Kabi

Warning: Spoilers Trigger Warning: Mention of Sexual Abuse

When I saw the cover I freaked out: she (maybe ‘they’, the author’s not quite clear on this yet) couldn’t possibly be getting married, last I’d heard Nagata Kabi had written about recovering from alcoholism and had yet to have her first proper romantic relationship.

Turns out at the start of the manga Nagata had gone to a friend’s wedding and felt overwhelming joy at the general happiness of the event, leading her to want to experience the joy of a wedding, but without an actual marriage. Cue a specialist fake-wedding photo shoot, where you can hire a wedding dress and get your picture taken as a bride. Now for all of us more “clued in” we might think how silly, it is not a wedding dress or a party that creates that real feeling of happiness, the genuine feeling of love emitting from a couple and the pride their family feels. And yet how many of us are seduced by the glamour and dream-like nature of a wedding, ignoring relationship issues in favour of an opportunity to wear a wedding dress and have that ONE special day?

Perhaps a fake bride photo shoot isn’t silly at all, perhaps it’s genius, it’s genius for those that can separate their desire to wear a beautiful gown from those that have the main intention of legally cementing a relationship. Power to those that can see through the consumerist crap about romance and understand that what they are really finding attractive is the dress, the flowers, the engagement ring, the special day, and so on. Not the marriage, the everyday mundane relationship stuff.

Unfortunately, the author isn’t quite there in the understanding of all of the above, she starts off by believing that the photo shoot will bring similar happiness to that of a wedding with genuine love between the couple, friends and family, but it does not, then throughout the book she discovers that real love does exist, she thought it was all a collective illusion. A lot of confusion basically.

Now speaking from personal experience I have often wondered whether true romantic love really exists, and whether it can exist long-term, having no real examples of happy long relationships in my family, so like the author, who also comes from a family with unhappy couples, I can understand the questioning of the existence of real love. However while I’ve come to the conclusion that it can exist and long-term too, love simply takes many form throughout a couple’s life, Nagata Kabi on the other hand is still stuck on understanding that first stage of love, that intense attraction love. To her all the words of love songs, and love stories were assumed to be artificial.

There are other things I can identify with, like Nagata Kabi when I first set up an online dating profile in my early 20s, my profile was perhaps “too honest” in presenting my negative qualities, not to the extent that Nagata Kabi has gone to, but over the years I have seen a lot of profiles like that, of people who are insecure and feel the need to highlight everything that they feel is bad right at the start. It’s a sort of self-defence strategy; before you confront me with my failings, I’m going to list them all, and if you initial accept them then that’s resolved. Things aren’t like that, what we think as our worst failings are not necessarily what others are going to think are our worst faults. Nagata is taking a step forward in setting up an online dating profile, but taking two steps back by writing an overly negative profile of herself which she believes will discourage anyone from reaching out to her.

That’s point one. Point two is her surprise that people, lots of people did reply to her profile. Why? Because some people just want to get laid and don’t care if they like the other person or not. Because some people don’t really read the profiles and instead just send generic messages to everyone they come across. Because some people will read an insecure person’s profile and not take the issues seriously, imagining that the person is simply insecure, and with their help this insecure person will cheer right up. And lastly because some people do relate to what’s in the profile and genuinely think meeting up is worth a try.

The first third of the manga is relatable to me on a personal level. The second third is very sad to read, the author discusses being molested by a stranger as a child, and the attitudes of those around her that made her feel responsible for being a victim, in particular teachers using the assault year after year as a warning to other children, bringing it up in classrooms and assemblies. This is only described in about 5 pages but says a lot about it in a very straightforward way.

After that section there’s a lot of over-thinking about the nature of romantic relationships and the hurdles stopping the author from pursuing a relationship: lack of faith in people, trying to figure out what’s her type when she’s never really gone out with anyone, trying to figure out her gender, her sexual orientation and so on. While it’s good to think about these things, and this book will help a lot of like-minded people, thinking will only take you so far with certain things. For example 4 books after My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness (published 2016, My Wandering Warrior Existence published 2020), the author is still not sure what her sexual orientation is, now of course everyone is figuring themselves out at different speeds, the author does not owe us an answer about her sexuality, but perhaps instead of more thinking it might be helpful for Nagata to meet different types of people, to interact with them, spend time with them, and through social experience help figure out what her type or types are.

I think a good, honest thing that the author has done is to dedicate a chapter to a letter a reader wrote to her, it explains attraction and love, and since these are concepts that the author herself is working to understand she’s decided to simply share what this reader wrote to her. A lot of what is explained of love and romantic relationships can seem like common sense to the majority of us, but I’m sure there are a lot of people, perhaps who are autistic, neurodivergent or lack experience, or are asexual or many other things that I don’t yet know about, that will really appreciate this book, the explanations, and identify with the author’s struggles.

The manga does end with a few points that even the most ‘with it’ person often fails to realize, such as you need to love yourself first before you’re able to love others, if you bully yourself you learn that behaviour and you may end up bullying other people, be it a partner or even children and friends.

And then there’s the importance of children in a family, children bring joy to a family, as family members get older and grumpier, more disillusioned or tired with life, seeing children react with joy and wonder at all that is new to them can invigorate the mood of the family. As the author considers this and her guilt for not providing her parents with grandchildren I am grateful for her mother’s interjection: grandchildren don’t automatically fix everything. She gives an example of an acquaintance who doesn’t have a satisfying relationship with her grandson… and Nagata’s mother comments that a dog would be cuter than a grandchild. While that may seem shocking to some people, the thing to take away from that is that not every human is meant to be a parent, nor every parent makes a good grandparent.

The manga ends on a happy note, although to many it may seem like nothing much happened, and the revelations the author reached aren’t particularly special, and to me it did feel at the time like perhaps the book was written to stretch out the success of the previous books, but without much to say. It fares better on a second reading, for some of the reasons I’ve already discussed, it’s a good book and a comfort to those who find it difficult to understand love, relationships and attraction on a basic level, and it is a reminder to all of us that life is not lived out in the simple plot of a story, when an author writes something autobiographic we should not expect all issues to be neatly tied up, we should not expect for questions about the nature of love to automatically result in a marriage by the end of the book… or by the end of book 5.

Review by Book Hamster

#just finished reading #my wandering warrior existence #nagata kabi #my lesbian experience with loneliness #lgbtq manga #pride month #pride month books #manga #manga recommendation #reading blog

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deathfavor · 6 months

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The Song Analysis that was never asked for but here it is (like every song analysis I do)

We’re going back to the song “Leave A Light On” by Papa Roach & Kazutora. I said before how it’s a good song from the perspective of anyone that has a positive, deeper connection with Kazutora. The song has a clear emphasis on the struggle someone else is having while the singer themselves is full of compassion and commitment to helping that struggling person. And Kazutora does struggle. I know I’ve said it, I’ve written it, but Kazutora has a LOT of struggles and issues regardless of what point in his time you look at it. They really aren't something to be glossed over in the grand scheme of things.

Dry bones rattle in a lonely soul Slipped and fell into a deep black hole I can tell you're lost, I'm here for you

Kazutora is a lonely person. Prior to Baji, he didn’t have friends. He hung out with Junpeke and his group because they gave him acknowledgement and the illusion of happiness, which is always Kazutora’s weakest point. He eats up praise and attention with a voracious hunger because he never knew it with his own family. On top of his loneliness though, Kazutora also doesn’t trust people which augments his loneliness. It’s a crux of his personality, of his character. He’s going to try to push people away first. It’s only if you’re persistent that he starts to warm up and finally start to let someone in. Even then its on a one by one basis, not a wide acceptance of a group.

He gets lost in his own head a lot and people can see that. They can see that Kazutora is lost more than he is found. In the past, he's living day by day either trying to get through juvie, and even once he's free, he's taking it day by day. It applies to the future as well. Kazutora is lost. He’s trying to atone for his past, but he doesn’t fit in the picture with others anymore and he’s acutely aware of it. That's how it is in his perspective. He didn’t have the big dreams or plans, and then being locked away for 12+ years of his life, there wasn’t a point to it for a long time. Now he has to try to find it in a world that’s left him behind. I’ll talk about this next point more in a bit, but it’s so, so important for people to be there for Kazutora. To show that even if he's lost, they're still there with him. They aren't going to leave him behind and forget him. ( Like by his family long before he met anyone, like by Toman, like in juvie. He's the first to be forgotten and it's a trauma that's only worsened with time. ) He needs actions more than he needs words. Yes, he craves the affection and praise, but actions speak so much on their own. He needs to be able to know he can count on someone.

To wash away the remnants of all your doubt I hope that you'll see me looking out

This ties in beautifully to what I just said. He needs people that can wash away his doubts. He needs people who can and will do that as needed. People that will stay when he runs. Soothe him, be there, brush away his fears. You can be upset, you can be sad, but be there for him all the same. Even if you’re angry, as long as you can convey the why, that it’s because you care, it still ultimately has a positive effect on Kazutora. It’s something that both Baji and later on Chifuyu do for Kazutora. They are the one he latches onto ( Baji when he’s younger, Chifuyu when he’s older) to be support. They’re the ones he turns to, they’re the pillars. They are there for him even when he needs to run or tries to shut down. They persist. It helps soothe away the fear and the doubts that take root in his heart to a point he can genuinely believe it without their reassurances ( even if it does help ).

Kazutora does know when people look out for him – at least when he’s accepted them. He knew Baji would always be there for him. He comes to realize Chifuyu will be too. Kazutora absolutely tried to tell Chifuyu that he shouldn’t visit or shouldn’t write because he doesn’t deserve it. ( There’s also trauma after what happened with Baji – that if they get closer, he will hurt him sooner or later. ) It just evidently wasn't listened to, and it's ultimately what let Kazutora start to open up more. That despite his attempt to push, Chifuyu stays like Baji did. He does know they’re looking out, and he appreciates it more than he knows how to show or say.

But when I see you fading in the dark I'll leave a light on for you Through the long nights, I will be right There for you if you drift too far I'll leave a light on for you

Be the shelter, be the beacon. See his struggles and leave some kind of hope for Kazutora. Tell him he can give you a call or show up if he needs to. There’s days and nights where Kazutora struggles, be it with nightmares, depression, temptation of old habits, or a million other things, and being there is the best thing that you can do. Reaching a hand out to hold him tight and ground him back into the present. There’s a few lines from a different song that go well for these long nights from Kazutora’s point of view. ( Don’t leave me alone with myself / cause I don’t trust this monster not to leave a mark / I know it won’t be gentle when my thoughts go dark / It’s focused on my fears - it knows them all by heart. ) Being right there means the whole world to Kazutora; seeing him at his worst and still being there, offering him comfort. He needs someone who will reach out and grab him when he starts to drift a million miles away. Even if its just sitting there and eating snacks or watching a show together. It doesn't need to be grand, it just needs to be something that reminds him he isn't alone if he doesn't want to be. And Kazutora will return it tenfold however he can. He'll be there for you too.

#i always make these things into mini essays #I KNOW NO ONE PROBABLY CARES #sometimes i just want to...#also that 2nd song?? all of it is kazutora #its on theme - that whole song is him #dont leave him alone with himself...#that's kazutora's song and this one is its counter #᛭ — [OOC] angst is the game and tears are the currency

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ehlnofay · 7 months

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writer asks... 🥺🛒🤡✨🎶🎨👀

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels? I think that something that always gets me is when the interaction is nice and good and lovely, and it could continue to be nice and good and lovely, but there are underlying circumstances that will not let it be and even now the cracks are starting to show. I love it when you can see the painful dissolution of a relationship long before it actually comes to fruition. it's so hhhhh and I write it a fair bit with characters like arabella and j'zargo, torr and astrid, pax and martin, and so forth

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. the thing that draws me most to writing is the characters; I think most of my writing is in some form a character study. I'm perpetually fascinated by how people react to difficulty, how they relate to one another, how their experiences inform their actions. so I think most of the themes that crop up often relate to that. I like using a lot of images and motifs, as well, but I can't think of any that are ubiquitous, though most of my characters have one or two specifically assigned to them that I like to reference

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh? hmm... I'll be honest almost anything with efri has at least one thing in it that is extremely funny to me. she just says things. I'm looking through her document to give an example and there's just so much in here. in her first meeting with savos she asks him how old he is and then raps her stick on the ground and says "you're dead," before he can finish answering. she announces to the group of vampires she's sitting around a campfire with that she isn't sure how she feels about her choice to free them, you know, ethically speaking. she refers to the eye of magnus exclusively as "the ball" and when mirabelle informs her what they've been calling it she says "huh. that's a weird name" (she does not know who magnus is)

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉 I'm genuinely really happy with where my writing is right now. I'm proud of how much improvement I can see over the last few years in how I portray scenes, atmosphere and dialogue, and I see a lot of potential for growth which I find really exciting! since I was a little kid I've wanted to be a published author and I feel like that's actually in the cards for me at some point in the not-too-distant future (assuming, you know, I actually write a book)

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately? I cannot play music or listen to literally anything when I'm writing. I close the door and the windows and ask my siblings to turn down their youtube videos or else I Cannot Focus An Inch. however I do love to listen to music to help me think through my stories and characters... it helps me get into a Mood and I've gotten a lot of ideas that way. most recent song I've begun to associate with a character is the amazing devil's the calling. it's pax (ish) at a very specific story beat

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories? LOVE IT FOREVER. I still regularly look at art fight attacks and go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I want to give each of them a turn as my profile picture but I keep forgetting :(

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! the Ludicrously Big Project.... if I keep the other sections to a similar length it will end up over a hundred thousand words, which is ABSURD. if I don't, the first bit will feel like such an insane outlier. I guess we'll see... I don't want to go into too much detail since I am only about a quarter of the way in (ridiculous) and I might trim the section I've written down a Bunch, so I don't want to like. jinx it. or say anything that ends up not being true. I will say that each main part focuses on the same story from the perspective of a different character and it is an exercise in not writing in little scenes pieced together (the reasons it is SO STUPID LONG methinks... if it was just the one character in vignettes it would have ten thousand words cut out and it would be done already) and that none of the characters in it are mine. unless you count the ones I made up expressly for this story. also it is pretty dark... which isn't super uncommon for my longer stuff it seems. I guess the more intense topics demand more space to resolve themselves. but there are parts that might be hard to read (definitely will be hard to write). whenever I post it in fifty years I will be sure to include comprehensive content warnings

#thank you muchly for the ask! sorry it took me a while to reply I was busy putting slime on my head #and then I wrote way too much about it #ah I'm kind of nervous about the Long Thing tbh. I always get worried about writing sensitive topics Well #I really don't want to mishandle stuff #but I will do my research and my best. and I'll see how it goes!!!!#ask

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thistlecatfics · 4 months

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drarry 8th year? 👀

A little ficlet that I'm not quite sure what to do with. I was thinking about the sensation of being in a group where no one is doing well but everyone is being a bit myopic about their own pain and where Harry's savior complex gets a little complicated when it comes to traumatized classmates. I've never written Drarry before but I've had a couple ideas grab me at different times, and so I'm sure I'll write something for them eventually!

Summer after 8th year

“Pansy’s drinking again.”

Harry after a year with aurors feeling a little distant

On the roof

References to childhood

Draco is trying to rebuild

No one is alright

Hermione and ron are fighting pretty aggressively

Harry had gone up to the attic to find a moment of peace at the party, but the sheets half covered over ominous furniture made him think of work, and he was trying not to think of work. Between a mirror oozing dark magic and a seemingly innocent chair, there was a window. He popped it open and clambered through, feeling like a child again, as his shoulder caught the edge and the window frame scraped through the thin t-shirt.

The summer air felt cool after the stuffy fog of the attic and the oppressive crowds below of his classmates who had stayed for eighth year and had since, inexplicably, become friends across houses. The smoke in the air and the sight of Gregory Goyle and Ernie MacMillon singing together to an old song and the press of the crowd was too disconcerting.

He looked out the grounds of the Goyle – not manor, there was some other specific title for this house. He ought to know the pureblood systems by now, given that he has spent the past year helping track down escaped Death Eaters, but the details of the snobbery and their hierarchies always escaped him.

“Potter.”

In the moonlight, Harry saw Draco Malfoy sprawled out on the roof with a bottle in one hand and a cigarette in another. His white-blonde hair stood out against the dark of his robes – no muggle clothes for him – and the black of the roof. He looked fuller than the last time Harry saw him, but of course he did.

“Malfoy.”

“I didn’t take you for hiding on the roof at parties. I imagined you’d love the opportunity to party with your former classmates.”

“It’s a lot,” Harry said, lamely.

“Quite.”

“As long as you don’t give me another person to be responsible for and as long as you promise no to fall of the roof – or ‘fall’ off the roof – you’re welcome to join.”

“Since when were you responsible for other people.”

Draco snorted. “You are welcome to sit with me whether or not you insult me. Though I’ll give you a cigarette if you refrain from insults. Or two if they’re clever ones.”

“I didn’t mean–” He genuinely hadn’t.

“Oh I know, Potter. Just sit.”

Harry moved across the roof, trainers gripping the surface. It felt good.

“Well done, well done.”

“I’ll take that cigarette.”

Draco handed over the pack. Harry took one, and Draco lit it with his wand before Harry could take his out.

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the quiet echoes of whatever was happening on the ground three stories below. He heard what had to be Parvati’s laugh, followed by the distinctive sound of Seamus Finnegan.

“Why are you up here?” Harry asked finally.

“For the views.”

They could see the tops of trees but not much else.

“Er, yeah, same.”

Draco snorted.

“What happened last year? I got letters from Ron and Hermione, but they were mostly about each other or about Quidditch or classes, and they didn’t mention –” Harry gestured with his cigarette. “-- This social thing. Like are Goyle and MacMillon really friends?”

“It shocks me too.”

“Everyone seems so happy.”

Draco turned fully on the roof to face Harry. He must have put a charm on the bottle so it wouldn’t fall.

“You think everyone’s happy? How long have you been at this party?”

“Er, I didn’t last very long before I went looking for some quiet.”

“No one’s alright, Potter. Do you want me to give you a roundup?”

Before Harry could answer, Draco continued, “Salazar, where to start, your friends are constantly cursing each other, like with real curses. Daphne’s gone off eating, and so has Parvati – I think she thinks it’s the surest way to join Lavender in death. Or slowest and most honorable or something. Pansy’s started drinking again after managing to stop for NEWTs, and so that’s another disaster waiting to happen – especially with both Millicent and your ex here, but I’ll throw up a Protego as needed. Theo dropped out to focus on his apparent true love – Calming Draughts. Blaise went off to Italy, but I suppose he’s doing alright enough, considering. Greg’s got his nightmares and his fear of fire and his grief. And then there’s the rest, but the Slytherins are my responsibility. Got anyone you’re wondering about specifically?”

“And you?”

“I’m the picture of reformation, Auror Potter. No illegal substances touch these lips nor illegal curses on this wand.”

“Malfoy.”

—

“I can go back there. The Dark Lord is dead.” The “Thanks to you, Potter” went unsaid. “The manor is ours again. Mother is determined to act as if nothing has changed. Everything looks the same, except Father isn’t there. She’s coping somehow, and I don’t know why I can’t. If I pull away, if I avoid going home, she gets so sad. Owls of her loneliness. But when I go back there, I can’t be a person.

"God, she even made a snide comment about Muggleborns in the Ministry the last time I visited. Not even a year out from the war, she’s commenting as if it never happened, and it’s simply a coincidence that there is major turnover in the Ministry from pureblood witches and wizards to Muggleborn.

"And don’t look at me like that – I know I could tell her off for it. But to do that I’d need to be a person in that house, and I can’t be a person or I’ll break completely. I can perform dutiful son just like I performed dutiful Death Eater, but I can’t let the rest of me in the house.

"Anyway, you probably wanted some quiet and instead you got my whinging which you can mock me for before I go inside and fix whatever mess Pansy created in my absence. So, go on.

"You had a few good ones in school. You made a comment about my Mother looking like she had dung under her nose once.” Draco laughed ruefully. “I was furious at you for that. So what do you have for the unredeemed shell of a man drinking firewhiskey on the roof?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that. Give it a real try.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare feel sorry for me.”

“I’m not alright either.”

They sat in silence.

“Well, then. You can stay.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed for eighth year.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“What else could I do but catch dark wizards? How could I focus on my Charms NEWT knowing Mulciber was still out there? I did miss Quidditch though.”

“I missed it too.”

“We should fly some time.”

“Are you–?” Draco corrected himself. “I’d like that.”

“Ginny and Pansy have been giving me headaches all year. Ginny’s a trainwreck, but she’s signed with the Harpies, but I’m sure you knew that.”

“Yeah, Quidditch was always her dream.”

“I think she’s bad for Pansy.”

“I’m sure Pansy’s bad for her too.”

“But Pansy’s sensitive – No, don’t laugh – and I’m actually genuinely worried about her. Ginny’s the one who keeps making her drink when she doesn’t want to.”

“I do not believe that. Who told you that, Parkinson? Anyway, don’t talk about Ginny like you know her.”

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gunsli-01 · 1 year

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Alright, let's get this set up in a somewhat digestible format. While also testing the waters. For people looking for more Mikoto info in particular this has some stuff on him within it but mostly gives a clearer idea on my experience with Milgram so far. Along with me being slightly unhinged. Soooo...woohoo...

Here's the set up. The next post will be the beginning of an in depth analysis of the two Celtic spreads found in MeMe. We will not only be analyzing them but delving into visual spin Mikoto put on the classic tarot cards with some insights his changes to them give us on his character.

There are two sets of ten cards. The first post on this will go over the first five cards in the first spread the second will finish off the first and give an overall interpretation of the reading. Then the same will be done with spread two. After we finish that then I’ll be attempting to break down the series of murders shown throughout MeMe.

Lastly, and my favorite part. We’ll finally be going over Mikoto’s character as a whole. Along with me just generally getting to talk about him without putting him beneath a microscope. Which I haven't gotten to do in weeks and still can't cause I'm stuck in tarot hell.

For those who don't read all of this and skip straight to the tarot I at least want to highlight and reiterate one part from here:

The point of Milgram is testing limits at any point these characters can do something that will make even their most devoted fans turn on them and I think the fandom should be open to having their opinions change and develop over the course of this.

So, here's post 1. I will link the beginning of the tarot interpretation here when it's up.

So, when I started writing what has to be the longest character analysis essay, I've ever written... I remember in December when I was like yeah I can crank out a few pages on Mikoto it won't be that difficult I can get this done by new years. I've already gone through the tarot once too what's a second time typed up gonna do? Maybe even before Mu's song.

I was wrong. But back when I was young, hopeful, well rested, and happier. I wrote something of a Preface. Just to explain all of my biases up front and let people form an opinion on if they wanted to take anything I said on this seriously or not. What comes after this part is that Preface.

Okay, so this is going to probably seem insane, but I might as well get it out of the way just to break in the new year putting my best foot forward. Yes, this is my best foot forward. Now Mikoto has a lot of diehard fans and detractors for some reason…How can such a normal guy be so controversial? Really unlucky… Honestly. Because of his popularity I’m a bit nervous to put out anything on him even though he is my favorite. Believe it or not I can get shy when talking about things I genuinely like a lot because I don’t know how it’ll be perceived, and I can get very, very critical when I like something.

It is not a normal like situation. It doesn’t go I like you; you could do anything, and I wouldn’t care. It goes OH, YOU UNLUCKY BASTARD! YOU’VE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION I SHALL NOW EXPOSE YOU TO THE WORLD! IF ANYTHING, BAD HAPPENS TO YOU IT IS LIABLE TO BE BY MY HAND! I well wade through the façade to find the truth I’m seeking knowledge, I’m seeking your identity, I want to dive deeper.

Don’t misunderstand- It’s just natural to want to know everything about the person you like and get all torn up inside because you never can. That’s just love isn’t it~ Ahh it’s an incredibly damning feeling that love, the idea of soulmates all that trite nonsense. Because when people aggrandize others, they usually end up wanting to pull them down to their level. That sort of sadistic thing is just as much a part of love. The adult world is so cruel that way.

As such I’m going to do my very best to tear this man to shreds lovingly, okay?

So, let’s start with some context did I love Mikoto immediately? Was I like innocent he just has to be? He’s just so good looking he can’t fail, lol. Okay, to be honest when I got here, I thought Kazui was so good-looking cause of his broad shoulders that when watching Undercover and seeing the flash throughs with Star I went that’s Kazui I know those shoulders anywhere. Got damn he looks like he gives good hugs those shoulders…

Also, I like sorry cowards my apologies for the disappointment but when I saw Mikoto in MeMe I willfully ignored him. I had a visceral response to his song telling Star I hated it and never wanted to see him or hear it again. While also going he clearly killed three people… in an obviously premeditated way as well. So, yeah guilty. Maybe? I don’t know. I’m just not interested I’ll leave that to the people who are.

I came in around Amane’s first trial… Soooo I very much could’ve voted on Mikoto, but I just did not want to look at him at all. Actually, I still don’t know why that was, but he made me uncomfortable and annoyed. Despite his video involving multiple things I very much love baths, tarot cards, clouds, water, records, baseball bats… Hell even his song was a genre of music I’m partial too. Like jeez in retrospect I really don’t know.

I just did not want to even think about him, so I didn’t. That changed when YouTube recommended me an English cover of his first song, and I was like now hold on… Those Sisters You Know really did a good job on that lyrics wise. Like it just hit different okay. I was listening to that cover every day having first job flashbacks and wondering huh why did I hate this guy again this is a complete mood actually.

After that I fell into an over analyzing loop for several months. Before I had pulled a nothing to see here and once we do that my brain just deletes the information since it’s been deemed irrelevant. Incredibly convenient skill to have. Yet, as it piqued my interest music wise, I was like well hold on…I have to know everything about this specifically now. Something that none of the Milgram characters had managed to achieve at that point.

To an extent I was pretty much like there’s nothing to see here at all when I was dragged into Milgram by Star. She showed me Mahiru’s first trial song like I really just want you to see this one and my immediate response was, “Are you trying to say something about me?!” We’ve been partners for years and this is what you lob at me what are you getting at? To which she had to dryly explain no I just think she’s neat and you love mystery things and putting together stuff so I wanted your opinion on what you think is going on here.

Then I got a rundown of the situation and was like ah okay. Then went through one through six giving all my thoughts on what they did and how I would’ve voted if I was there as she explained the results. I was surprised to hear from Star that none of the things I was saying to her had come up in the fandom as far as she saw.

As Star showed me Milgram my experience was basically

Weakness: Guilty. Committed murder for attention. Next.

Later down the line I asked Star about the reasoning behind Haruka’s trial one Innocent Verdict. It was after we watched Bring It On and she told me about Futa’s verdict. I needed to understand why Haruka was voted Innocent/Forgiven but Futa was not. Weirdly long before Futa asked us that same question in Back Draft. Why did Haruka of all people get a pass when we see him kill directly? That was the first thing that piqued my interest.

However, I was pretty disappointed by the answer Star provided and maybe to some people this will seem like a reduction of the actual reason behind prevailing consensus. Yet, what I gathered from her explanation was that he was voted innocent due to Autism. Particularly, people assuming he had a learning disability the most speculated one being Autism. Now, my response to this information was to go, um…that’s ableist right? Like, just because it’s helpful to him in this circumstance does not mean ableism isn’t present.

That’s just infantilizing and belittling his intelligence. Having a learning disability doesn’t suddenly exempt a person from knowing murder is wrong. It’s the same as using a person’s age as an excuse. Made even funnier that Haruka is treated more like a child than the literal child is. So…it’s not like that interpretation is that far off or difficult to get to. Plus, do people even critically engage with who benefits from these sorts of excuses and when they’re extended?

Because they aren’t applied indiscriminately. A perfect example of this in Japanese media in particular comes from something else Star and I were watching when she recommended Milgram. Higurashi Sotsu and the character Satoko a lot of people in that fandom got angry and found the concept that Satoko would become a villain all because she had a difficult time studying insane. Like she should have just studied harder ignoring everything else that occurred in Gou and Sotsu up until that point.

Even some going as far as creating a completely different reason for her actions. Because having trouble focusing, studying, and being ostracized in a new environment after being taken away from the people and things that brought you comfort weren’t good enough reasons. Ryukushi-07 also has a tendency to write about neurodivergent coded characters like Maria in Umineko and Satoko herself can be considered coded that way through sotsu and gou. The excuse extended to Haruka in trial one was definitely not extended to her by the Higurashi fandom.

So, it’s not surprising that same courtesy was retracted in trial 2. Sorry, to rain on your parade but disabled people of color from any minority group are not extended those same benefits of the doubt and rarely have their impairments or age taken into consideration if they even reach a trial. So, this is when I went oh well people are gonna people glad to see some things still haven’t changed. This is what Milgram’s bias looks like. It’s almost a perfect reflection of the performatively politically correct space we live under today and highlights the pervasive biases that continue to disenfranchise many that go overlooked.

All we’re missing is overt ableism, racism, and sexism disguised as feminism and we’d have everything that’s wrong with performative morality. (Star just informed me one of these things is just Yuno.) So, my interest was piqued around here but mostly from a sociological standpoint.

Yet, I was mostly ticked off. Media is supposed to be a form of escapism for many people and I found a lot of the issues that people usually use media to escape from pulled to the forefront in Milgram through its voting system. I came in and was like this series probably isn’t saying a damn thing special. Reluctantly after telling Star I wouldn’t watch it multiple times because well I was a mad at her and she kept asking. I had every reason to hate this series given what was going on around our relationship at the time she presented it to me and didn’t really think taking something lightly could end up saying a great deal about society as whole.

Umblical: Guilty. It was clear to me from the very first video that she attempted to entrap someone in a relationship through the use of a pregnancy then committed murder when that failed. Possibly multiple times.

Later, Star told me people assumed she got an abortion. Because the woman that was clearly in a sector of sex work knew nothing about contraception. That and she may have had family issues. I said oh so they thought she was stupid. That’s insulting and then people continued to think she was stupid. So, some things never change but my opinion of her did. She’s the only person here with a consistent character and seems to be incredibly considerate but not hesitant to go after the things she wants by any means necessary. I find that endearing and respectable and really wish she’d get a 50/50 since regardless of what she did I respect her want for us not to give our opinion on it.

It’s only polite to shut up and say nothing when no one asked you to speak. Yuno not only never asked us to speak but openly asked us not to. Her character description even states she dislikes being psychoanalyzed. She sort of reminds me of Kotono Kashiwaba from Caligula Effect but I can’t really figure out why yet. I haven’t finished the game at this point and right now we’re only up to Ike-P but I just get that feeling.

Bring It On: Innocent due to lack of information. I haven’t seen a murder. I don’t know what happened here. Having a flop Twitter account and making callouts is not murder or a crime at all. So, innocent. Then Star tells me the actual outcome and the reasoning behind it and this is when I start to get a bit heated.

Basically, went what do you mean guilty on the grounds of his actions allegedly leading to someone taking their own life??? Because they were just involved in someone’s death. It doesn’t say they directly caused them to die which means indirect involvement is on the table. Ha, ha, oh my fucking god that’s rich considering the dude that clearly killed a dog and a child was given a pass. Did that with his whole chest but he’s good. Alright, alright… I literally went back and pointed out all the kills Haruka was directly responsible for in his first mv going but this was passable. At that point don’t even try to justify it just say you don’t like Futa that’s less insulting.

Like I discussed in the part on Weakness I found this way of thinking inherently unfair. The benefit of the doubt and consideration extended to Haruka was completely absent for Futa. A lot of people want to say this is because he didn’t appear sorry. But, what gives others the right to decide when someone is really sorry or not. Futa’s entire voice drama goes into how you can’t tell how someone is feeling or what they’re thinking based on how they behave outwardly alone and that’s all anyone did when it came to him.

Not many people extended that same courtesy or empathy. They didn’t attempt to look deeper because no one cared to and that’s sad. Start didn’t see anyone go hey that’s clearly a kid with anxiety who’s attempting to garner validation through social media possibly due to a lack of external validation in his actual life. Something tackled in the writer’s previous game Caligula Effect Overdose with the character Naruko Morita. Who does the same sort of things Futa does if not worse. Because she literally outs a trans person on social media, takes pictures of people without their knowledge, and looks up someone work application to then go oh they’re not as good looking in real life let’s tell their fans so they no longer like this musician.

Like these are things she does repeatedly throughout the game. She is a terrible person and in the game she’s your teammate. She has a social link and reasons for the way she behaves. She’s obnoxious, annoying, egotistic, inconsiderate, a snoop, has an aversion to criticism, low self-esteem, and is easily dissuaded from doing things she enjoys if it’s not immediately praised or faced with scrutiny.

She goes out to eat popular limited time items at shops just to post food reviews about it after one bite. She doesn’t even post her own opinion on it at times but instead goes by reviews others have left already while giving a little bit of a different perspective but not really. Then if you say no to her being on the team because she basically airs out your entire organization on social media for likes, so everyone now knows who you are, what you look like, your name and all of your teammates information you’re treated like the heartless asshole.

Hm, it’s like she doxed you and it has real life repercussions and makes your life harder. It continues to make the lives of everyone she does this to harder and in instances is retraumatizing for many of them. All I’m saying is if you play this game and end up liking her but still hate Futa then you don’t dislike doxing you just hate men. Point blank. At which point I hope you enjoy Ayana.

After Pain: Guilty, I didn’t and still do not believe she’s sorry. Plus, the person she killed was uninvolved. When Star told me she was voted Innocent. Well, I couldn’t really say I was surprised given certain universal truths but- When she explained it was because people were saying it’s because she’s clearly a lesbian and that person she stabbed told everyone she was which led to her bullying.

I kind of went well isn’t that sort of justifying someone getting murdered or in blunter terms just victim blaming. Even if the victim did do that which I’m doubtful of that does not justify murder. Like people really immediately went we trust Mu she’s a victim now what did this clearly evil girl do to deserve to get stabbed, huh?! I found that kind of odd, I wouldn’t want anyone thinking that about me or anyone I love if they were murdered. Plus, given the circumstances I grew up under it’s very common to see that sort of mindset pushed on specific types of victims of brutal crimes. Just saying; it’s really not interrogated often enough who the whole what did they do to deserve it mentality benefits and hurts.

Ultimately, I found the whole concept kind of cruel. However, I guess as we’ve learned Es is the sort of Guard that abhors a person doing something that may have inadvertently led to someone taking their own life more than very purposefully taking someone else’s life with your own two hands. Taking into consideration the response seen in the English speaking part of the fandom this mindset is showcased twice throughout the first trial with the only noticeable outlier being Kazui.

Throw Down: Guilty he asked to be voted that and I respected it. Also, he was organ harvesting from his patients. Like what? Innocent is this some reverse psychology nonsense well okay at least he already feels bad.

This is how to be in love with you: Innocent due to lack of information. I can’t punish someone for something I do not understand I genuinely don’t know what she did. I assume she poisoned someone since she works as a florist, cooks, and mentioned herbal remedies. However, I just knew too little at the time.

What do you mean they thought she was so clingy her partner committed suicide, so she was voted guilty? I’m sorry so what I’m understanding is stabbing a woman in cold blood is okay but indirectly causing someone to end their life through social error is a irredeemable sin? That last girl stabbed another one purposely and that first guy killed a dog and kid-

Half: Guilty but also- That dudes incredibly good looking and has nice broad shoulders that is certainly an impressive physical build look at him in that uniform- Hears the song oh my god he’s an emotionally unavailable and dishonest coward too just my type! Guilty I know in my heart what he did was fucked up but got damn I’m hoping it’s fucked up at this point- not me literally getting chills at the let’s make it victim and assailant line in Cat like boy howdy don’t say such things oh no. Is this how people feel when Yuno says Come Marco I’ll Polo?

It certainly doesn’t help that Kazui’s demeanor and communication habits remind me a lot of Star and I end up feeling a little bad for him but slightly want to watch him squirm as well. Truly, it’s the emotionally unavailable quiet ones you gotta be careful with. They have such intense emotions but they hold them back to the point they can’t express them and then the right person pushes and boom it’s like a pistol accidentally discharging. People who bottle up their emotions like that for as long as it seems he has well when they blow a gasket it’s like a volcano and I want to be in lava range.

Innocent I- well I’m fine with this you saw that up there you know why I'm fine with it we don't have to talk about it but like why??? Because they believe he’s gay and was in a very loveless and performative marriage while also assuming his actions just led to his partner committing suicide or an accidental death. Wait why is that okay here but with the other two it’s not… It’s cause he’s hot and seemingly pathetic ain’t it? Lol, that dude is not as weak as he presents but have fun with that when it comes up I suppose. Good liar my ass...

Magic: Guilty even asked Star to vote on it. So, I was made aware of how to vote at this time. This was not because I want her to be punished but I didn’t believe anything could be solved through agreeing with her and I honestly don’t think agreeing with her will solve anything now either, but it will maybe stop her from getting jumped. Maybe? Though I’m unsure about that because Kotoko has jumped people who were pardoned before sooo... That and Amane told us not to treat her like a child.

I believe it’s a bit unfair or shortsighted of her to ask us to respect her agency in her own life, that she chose to make these decisions, and yet at the same time ask to not be held accountable for them if we feel her behavior was wrong because she answers to a higher power. Her mindset on her killing and being considered a murderer highlight her immaturity to me. Those aren’t two separate things but childishly and stubbornly she attests that they are. Being an adult is recognizing that regardless of if you had a good reason, or a higher law you abide by other adults don’t need to care about those things when judging you they can just objectively judge the actions you took. It truly is that simple. To me it just seems like she didn’t really know what she was asking for when she said that. Like she equates being an adult with gaining respect but it's more than just that.

Amane’s situation really reminds me of that song by Maaya Sakamoto More than Words, particularly these lines, “Isn’t freedom painful? I’ve become an adult, haven’t I?” “Isn’t freedom painful? I’m now alone, aren’t I?” “Isn’t freedom painful? Endlessly so…” Because a lot about being an adult is being able to stand on your own by the decisions you choose. The respect you get from others is fickle at best and never really equates to understanding or empathy. In a way as we age, we become more and more emotionally isolated when it comes to social communication and consideration. Because the patience and consideration that is frequently extended to children is not given to adults since they’re meant to know better by then and not need that sort of care.

Adults have the freedom to make their own choices and have that agency recognized. However, many times that agency we yearned for so badly is weaponized against us in small and insidious ways. Causing adults to become more emotionally closed off, socially defensive, or calculating. An adult would never ask to have their choices looked at while taking into account that they chose to do those things they’d simply tell the person accusing them to figure out why they did it or take into consideration their circumstances. Not pull a don’t judge me and I won’t judge you. They would know that their main focus should be endearing themselves by any means necessary like Mu attempts to do or lean on their legal rights.

So, I really feel like Amane was her own worse advocate during trial one and it ended up biting her in the butt. Also, another song that I feel properly exemplifies that feeling of emotional isolation one faces with age but isn’t as somber I think is “Love I need” by The Living Tombstone.

MeMe: Abstained due to a vague sense of hatred. I literally told Star to never show this to me again and not to bring him up I don’t have an opinion, I don’t care, I’m glad that’s over was my immediate reaction to MeMe. [Star: She said that she didn’t like the song, him as a character, and it was obvious that he committed several murders. So, there was nothing left to look into.] Afterwards I promptly deleted the information from memory until finding that cover song.

Harrow: Guilty she literally did the same thing Futa did just in a more direct way. She also seemed to jump people who had already been put on trial and had a decision on their actions handed down. Even openly said apologizing meant nothing. I’d rather give a pass to the person who says just say sorry then the one who goes lol it doesn’t matter if you try to make amends now no second chances ever once a bad guy always a bad guy.

I put all this to show that even before I was actively posting Milgram stuff on here. I did have opinions on all this that have only developed over time. As much as I came out swinging in the oh I really like Mikoto camp. I really did not want to see this dudes face when I first saw him. Like I feel as though I’m being a bit of a broken record. I said the same with Haruka. Yet, with Mikoto there was a bit of hatred there. Like a knee-jerk reaction that I couldn’t even pinpoint and didn’t want to interact with. Something, I still don’t really have an explanation for.

Even still before this I was spending months talking to Star over the phone sifting through the music videos reading the conversations and literally burning out all my investigative skills on it. Something I believe she knew I’d do when she brought it to my attention and asked, “What do you think happened here?”

Now here I am trying to churn out an entire essay on the guy. Certain characters can grow on you. However, with Milgram there’s this feeling that such a fondness like that can be broken. The point is testing limits at any point these characters can do something that will make even their most devoted fans turn on them and I think the fandom should be open to have their opinions change and develop over the course of this.

I feel like being shut off, isolated or just stubborn about one’s own opinion is unfair to the social experiment aspect Milgram is trying to pursue. That’s just me personally. I really hope that by the end of this there is interesting data collected. We can vote any way we want at the end of the day. Not everyone has to take into consideration what the characters did or how bad it is objectively.

Yet, for people to trick themselves into believing the vote doesn’t matter, this is all in good fun, and no one will be held accountable for the outcome in any way is negligent and blatant denial. The verdicts have a direct impact on the sort of place Milgram is currently and could become. It's a direct reflection of the will of the fanbase. If we vote a certain way the creators take that into consideration. They seem to not just take the winning verdict into consideration but pay attention to responses from both sides overall. They’re paying attention. So, it’s incredibly short sighted to assume our collective judgement regardless of how you vote or if you chose not to doesn’t reflect on the entire fanbase in some way.

I’m not saying this to be a Debby Downer or go really interrogate why you’re voting this way. I’m saying all this to get one point across if you’re going to vote seeped in bias the least you can do is express what those biases are in your own unique way. That’s what will make this all the more fun for everyone. I don’t care if you choose to vote guilty, innocent, or abstain, but at least vocalize why that is. Especially for people choosing to abstain since that’s more difficult to gauge since it is just not an option and the closest thing to abstaining would be attempting to get a fifty/fifty.

I know not everyone is willing to be that out there with their feelings and that sort of thing isn’t fun for everyone. Though even just discussing it privately with friends, people you trust and feel comfortable around is enough. All I want personally is for people regardless of how or why they vote to look at these characters for what they are and give them the opportunity to surprise you outside of your personal opinions like with actual people. All these characters will probably disappoint someone at a point but I feel like if you keep a healthy sense of realism and treat them in an unidealized way that will help in not causing resentments towards the series or the people who work on it down the line.

Some of these resentments are already present in the fandom and being used to create a reflection of the writer that could be wholly inaccurate. Personally, I don’t find that sort of approach to be fun or fair. However, it very well could be to some. Yet, at times I find it incredibly disheartening to see. My hopes in writing all of this and thoroughly attempting to analyze my fluctuating feelings on Mikoto may tackle why that is in some way. Even if the problem isn’t firmly rooted within the interpretations around his character but extends to the entire cast.

Though it’s like Jackalope said he certainly did cause a bit of trouble.

I hope this has been a good prelude of what’s to come and helped whoever may have read this far better understand my personal perspective on Milgram. This post didn’t focus on Mikoto as heavily as I would have wished but served to properly build an understanding of what one may be getting into when it comes to my analysis of his character.

I hope by displaying my biases and feelings on all the characters that one can decide whether reading what comes after this is for them or not. Regardless of if you continue to read or go back to this post from the ones that precede it, I appreciate you reading my ramblings.

#milgram #kayano mikoto #yes it's in parts i'm sorry

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palmtreepalmtree · 2 years

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Alright friends, this is my very rare theater review. I was tempted to do this in my typical Worst Movie on Netflix Right Now style, but honestly, the theater industry has taken a real serious beating through the pandemic, and I love theater people (even if I don't love theater), so the last thing I want to do is really smash hard on people who are working so hard to get up on their feet and put out something for people.

That said---OOF---Pretty Woman: The Musical is decidedly not good. Now that I've said that, let me throw out a bunch of caveats and disclaimers. As I alluded to above, I do not love theater and I do not love musical theater even more. I know some people find the immediacy of theater thrilling - I find it deeply uncomfortable. Also, years ago someone pointed out to me the absurdity of stopping to sing in the middle of the French Revolution, and you know, yeah. It's a reductive and unnecessarily dismissive perspective, but I can't fucking unsee it, so here we are. Also @lspoon who I have much respect for does like this, and she does like musicals, so this take might just be firing real wide for people who actually like musical theater and may love this.

Back to Pretty Woman: The Musical. I have never seen such a crass blatant cash-grab as this. If you like the movie Pretty Woman, then just watch the movie. The whole move to stage, and music and dancing, adds absolutely nothing to the story. The best dialogue (most of it actually) is lifted whole cloth from the movie. Nothing has been reimagined or reinvented. It follows all of the exact story beats. And honestly, I rolled my eyes SO HARD at the things they did change. SPOILER: instead of Edward rescuing Vivian at the end, she punches out Stuckey herself. GREAT JOB! SUPER IMAGINATIVE! DEFINITELY SOLVED ALL OF THE PROBLEMATIC STUFF IN THE ORIGINAL MOVIE WITH THAT SMALL CHANGE. GOLD STAR!

The music was written by Bryan Adams - and me being a lady of a certain age, I sort of expected to respond to it more. In the second act there's finally a memorable song that reminded me so clearly that Bryan knows how to write a male love song. But the rest of the music is so whatever. Maybe if I listened to this a lot on spotify it would breed a comforting pop familiarity. But it's otherwise forgettable. In the second act, there's also a brief clip from the opera they attend which I think is La Traviata, and honestly, it's almost jarring in that it reminds you OH this is what original, creative music sounds like. That's not a reaction that you want your audience members having.

Also, can I just say that I'm totally over the trend of having a black woman step forward in music numbers to sing circles around the main performers and then step back again. It's like we're treating black woman singers like an instrumental flourish, like a fucking sax solo. Give me a fucking break.

Last note - the worst part about this show is how fucking awkward the intimate scenes are. They are done almost exactly as they are done in the movie, so again, if you know the movie, you know when to expect it. But it's still so fucking jarring. Like you're watching this musical, then all of a sudden, you're like OH YEAH, she's a hooker! Like... how is this... FUCK you guys, is this a cute musical people are bringing their kids to? I'm so confused. And HOLY SHIT if I already found the immediacy of theater awkward, you better believe it's awkward when she's dropping a pillow down on the floor so she can go down on this guy. Like... damn.

I know my prudish tendencies have gotten worse the older I get. Like I don't even like that much sexual stuff in my movies anymore. I get taken out of the story - I just think like these are actors and it must be uncomfortable for them to perform this, and why do I need to see this? What is this doing for me in a non-porn context? Anyhow, that's probably a longer rant for another time.

I genuinely like the movie Pretty Woman. It's problematic as hell, sure, but it's probably one of my comfort movies. I think Julia Roberts is super charming in it, it's romantic (in ways it probably shouldn't be but whatever just let me have this), and so I know it really well. I don't think that did me any favors watching this musical. If you don't know the movie or the story maybe this will all seem fresh and fun to you. For me, I just wanted to go home and watch Edward and Viv in private, leaving me to my little inappropriate piano sex fantasies alone, as the Goddess intended.

#ptpt reviews #kinda #really did not love this one #but the row of ladies in front of me sure seemed to like it #if i get covid for this #is a thought i had multiple times #need to be more judicious about the theater

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artsyunderstudy · 2 years

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♥️

Thanks for the tag @messofthejess

I’ve only just started writing for the Simon Snow fandom, so I suppose I must rec both of them.

The Mirrors that Hold Us (Explicit)

I just started this, it’s an eighth year canon divergent fic. Simon doesn’t survive the white chapel, and both Baz and Penny are grieving. However, after a few weeks, Baz starts seeing Simon in reflections all over Watford. This fic only has one chapter posted so far, out of eight, but I’m updating every Friday. It’s also illustrated! I love it, this idea is my current favorite baby. A real lovely, angsty baby.

What Lies Behind Doorways (Mature)

This is my love letter to Baz, it centers around his trauma from his time in the coffin, and is basically just a character exploration revolving around PTSD and intimacy. It weaves through canon. Probably my favorite one-shot I’ve ever written ... maybe just my favorite thing.

Paint and Ink (Explicit)

This is technically three fics, and it is the sweetest shit I’ve ever written. And I love it. I actually go back and re-read this for fun, just to revisit it. It’s for the SPN fandom, but it’s a full AU so honestly, even if you don’t like the ship it kind of stands on its own. The story revolves around Cas, an art student, and Dean a tattoo artist, and it explores their budding relationship as Dean models for Cas’ art pieces.

It’s a very tactile piece (also somehow a christmas story, I forgot that), because he does plaster castings of dean’s body, but it’s also very tender. They are both lonely in their own way, and find peace with each other. The later two fics revolve around their developing relationship, dealing with Cas’ inattentiveness due to his dedication to art, and then in the last one dealing with the weight of familial expectations, contrasting dean’s supportive relationship with his brother and cas’ cold mother who doesn’t agree with his lifestyle, both personal and professional. Basically I love this series? I am tempted to rewrite it for snowbaz, that’s how much I love it. I probably won’t but I’d love to do something similar.

Plus it’s got some really fun smut. (not to toot my own horn) (or maybe I should. thats the point of this.)

Sex is Weird (Explicit)

It does what’s on the tin. A quick one-shot about that switch between new relationship sex and comfortable, long term-relationship sex. And finding easy love with one another. Also SPN, canon (as canon as it gets).

Blackbird Fly (Explicit)

I mean, I gotta. This is the biggest thing I ever did. It’s a beast. Not perfect, probably ridiculous. It’s got everything! Angst, bad sex, good sex, drugs, the mob, BDSM, lots and lots and LOTS of classic rock song references. But, for real, I genuinely loved how I explored the ideas of trauma recovery, addiction, forgiveness, and found family in this.

Also, man, did this one make people yell at me. SO much yelling. And weeping. Also SPN, full AU.

Tagging @whatevertheweather @cutestkilla @palimpsessed @fatalfangirl @johnwgrey

#fic rec #personal #artsyfic

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mo0n-water · 11 months

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hi :)

i’m sorry to hear that you had a bad day yesterday. i hope that you were able to give yourself some time to feel and then to recover because you deserve it! sending you lots of love and i hope that today was/is bit better.

what time zone are you in, btw?

my tbr is basically just any fic that i’ve seen someone like so it’s extensive and spans many ships and tropes so there’s something for any mood i happen to be in. i mark things for later on ao3 and it’s about 5/6 pages of fics… i can’t remember many off the top of my head but i want to read everything that eyra has ever written because i loved ‘a brief history of dragons’ so much and i’ve been putting off reading choices for forever but i’ll eventually get round to that. and of course black mass, i started it before exams but then i stopped so i’m going to go back and start it again.

i’ll have to give noah kahan a listen, everyone i know has been talking about him recently.

i love love love that you’re asking me questions back, you are genuinely making my day <33

good things recently… one of my friends, who i’m not particularly close to, bought me flowers for my birthday a few months ago after a conversation we had about how people don’t give flowers to each other enough, especially between friends. it was her birthday a few days ago and so i bought her some beautiful flowers and she was so happy with them. it feels so innocent and intimate to give flowers, i love it and i definitely will be doing it more often and without reason.

a lovely thing about my life at the moment is my friendship group. for a long time i’ve felt out of place with other people or not settled but now i feel so safe and comfortable with my close friends. it’s like i’ve suddenly matured and found my place. there are no arguments and no tension and it’s nice to relax into a group that is calm and loving and still exciting. i’ve finally got to the point where i’d have them over to my house just to do nothing with them and that’s saying something because i think domesticity is the highest form of flattery.

i’m looking forward to many things. i’m going to see a performance of the great gatsby tomorrow, i’m going to a harry styles show on friday, next wednesday i’m going to the bfi premier of asteroid city, the new wes anderson film and then next friday i’m going to a music festival, which i can’t wait for! after that it’s about a week or so until me and my best friend leave for our month long holiday through france and italy which i still can’t believe is happening!

sorry, i’ve been waffling for ages but questions:

- what’s your favourite picture on your phone and why?

- what’s your love language?

- what’s your favourite trope?

- what’s your favourite lyric of all time? do you write songs? if you have, what about of the ones you have written?

- if you could time travel, would you go backwards or forwards and what year for both would you go to?

again, sending you lots of love and hoping you feel better soon xx

ps. 264 HOURS

i ended up being a total bitch for a few days & concerning everyone around me, but i’m doing a lot better today! cried it out to the new noah kahan songs, reread looking for alaska, & the intersection of those two artistic experiences happened to help me realize why i was feeling the way i was. isn’t it lovely how art can offer you that? i’m thankful for that today. also thankful for your kind words!

i like your answers, especially in regards to giving flowers to friends. i’ve been thinking a lot about flowers, lately, both as gifts & as a symbol of finding love within grief. that’s a tad melancholic, but i think flowers are so beautiful as a sign of love (to anyone) because they imply a sort of commitment. a flower is going to wilt, so are you going to be there to replace it? rhetorical question. but anyway it makes me think of something john green likes to say about how love is not a feeling, but a choice we make again & again (loosely paraphrased!)

it sounds like you’ve got a wonderfully busy time ahead of you! have fun! lots of experiences. so jealous in regards to the harry show, omg, & the music festival? that sounds like a blast. (actually thinking of going to a music festival on thursday, so i wonder if it’s the same one haha!)

to answer your questions!!

i’m in est! same timezone as nyc. i’m pretty close to cst though. i feel a conflicting sense of loyalty to each timezone. i hope that tells you something about how bonkers i am in personifying things that have no business being that personified. but yeah it’s currently 3:30 am here. (4 now)

i don’t know if i have a favorite picture on my phone? there are a lot that represent really important memories, so it’s hard to choose a favorite. everything means so much to me in the moment. so i have a lot of favorites, but i’ll tell you about one. it’s a somewhat blurry selfie of me & my best friend sitting at a restaurant in savannah, georgia. i like that picture so much because that was one of the best nights of my life - and the best trips tbh, so iconic - and to me it represents a lot of things that bring me joy. (that friend is like the only person who reads these posts, so hello to her <3!!)

everything i do is done in an effort to express love. all of it. one thing that i find underrated is giving someone your time. what says ‘i love you’ more clearly than choosing to spend the day with someone? & what spells indifference more clearly than not making time for someone?

ooh, favorite trope! i think someone asked me this recently, & i can’t remember what i said? hm. well, if you’ve learned one thing about me from this, it’s that i hate picking favorites. but if i had to, i’d say enemies to lovers! i like reading about people learning to look at familiar things in startlingly new ways. i’m a sucker for a good road trip au as well, & stories about going back to a familiar place once you’ve changed quite a bit.

OH I LOVE YHIS. i love this so much. favorite song lyric!! okay omg i adore you for asking this.

all-time favorite: “i was cleopatra / i was taller than the rafters / but that’s all in the past now / gone with the wind” from cleopatra by the lumineers - i know that one’s technically like half a verse but UGHHH i can’t explain how much it means to me. and that whole song just means everything to me.

current favorite: “if i could leave, i would’ve already left” from paul revere by noah kahan. OUCH. this motherfucker from vermont captured my small town appalachian pain so succinctly.

favorite of mine: “i like to say i can’t get homesick for tennessee, ‘cause i’m always thinking of kentucky.” i love that line but it also haunts me because whenever i sing it, i get overwhelmed with this deep sense that the people listening Know Too Much lmaooo

time travel question! fun. okay so i have no interest in spending the rest of my life in the future or in the past, but i would like to spend a yom kippur in jerusalem in the time of the first temple. so that’s what i’d do if i could time travel. i don’t want to travel to the future at all, because that sounds like a lot of responsibility & i am a coward haha.

for your questions… there is a lot i want to ask you that wouldn’t sit well with your interest in continued anonymity, like what your name is, & how old you are, & where you’re from. also lots of other things that i’m not even gonna write here because they’re just embarrassing. i am giving you these instead!

- what is something kind that you wish someone would do for you?

- what is it that you like about anonymity? you could just as easily send asks with your name attached, so i’m curious what makes anon preferable to you

- and, of course, favorite song lyric? (also, favorite harry song? gotta ask)

sending good vibes & flowers 💐

#asks #question anon #thoughts with lem

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musicarenagh · 1 year

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Lee Switzer-Woolf Pours His Into His Latest Album - Annihilation Signals Born Lee Switzer-Woolf is a professional singer-songwriter based in the United Kingdom, Reading. As a young child his musical taste was heavily influenced by the music his senior brother loved to play, and this gravitated him towards playing in bands. After the release of his debut album “Scientific Automatic Palmistry” which was released in 2022, Lee has since then been consistently working on improving his craft to give his fans something bigger. Here is something bigger, and it is called “Annihilation Signals” and this is the sophomore album release is a far bigger, more sprawling release both in terms of the fullness of the album’s sound, and the lyrical themes within. In a recent interview with Mister Styx of Musicarenagh, Lee Switzer-Woolf shared the main inspiration behind the album and this is what he had to say about it: “Annihilation Signals are used to measure the potential existence of dark matter. That idea of looking for something that we can’t see but that affects every aspect of our universe really fitted the themes of the album for me.” He continued saying; “It’s anxiety, it’s the threat of nuclear war, the climate crisis, our political landscapes, but also our personal ones. We are all being held in this state of potential catastrophe, and that’s what I was trying to examine with the new album.” Each song on the album is finely tuned to fit the listener's musical taste regardless of their background and that is a thing which can be attributed to Lee Switzer-Woolf. Annihilation Signals was written, performed, and home-recorded by Switzer-Woolf, and Mixed and Mastered by long-time collaborator Aden Pearce. You can literally taste the sweat and blood which was put in to get this project done, listening to Annihilation Signals you can clearly tell the beauty of it although some of the songs are melancholic, they convey a deep message with resonates with the listener. Lee Switzer-Woolf had more to say about his personal life and musical journey as whole. Get the full story below while you enjoy Annihilation Signals Follow Lee Switzer-Woolf on Twitter Spotify Soundcloud Bandcamp Youtube What is your stage name: Lee Switzer-Woolf Is there a story behind your stage name? Nope, it’s just my name! Where do you find inspiration? A lot of my songs tend to be introspective, dealing with anxiety, grief, and personal relationships. On the new album I’ve tried to look outward more but really it’s just catastrophising on a greater scale. What was the role of music in the early years of your life? I always felt a connection to music, but I didn’t act on it nearly enough in my youth. I started writing song lyrics very young, but I never did anything with them. I didn’t naturally feel any talent for music and I didn’t push myself to really try until college. Are you from a musical or artistic family? No, I’m not. My mum would show me 60’s music she liked, like Herman’s Hermits, but it was my brother’s musical taste that really caught my attention. He got me into bands like Radiohead, and that’s when I started to feel a genuine connection to music. Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? I don’t think of myself as being part of the music industry. I’m perfectly content to be making music for myself, and the fact that other people have found a connection to the songs is amazing. In terms of inspiration though, I think I would’ve given up making music long ago if it weren’t for my friend Alex. He and I have been in punk bands together for over 20 years now, and for as long as we’ve known each other he has pushed me to get my music out there, long before I believed in my ability to do that. How did you learn to sing/write/to play? I taught myself mostly. The first band I ever formed was with a friend of mine, Pally, and we were dark indie-folk songs, not dissimilar to the kind of thing I put out

now. Except that all I did was write the lyrics, because that’s all I could do. I bought a guitar from him and started to learn to play and went from there. What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? It was Radiohead, touring OK Computer, at a sports centre in Reading. 20+ years later I’m still trying to top that. How could you describe your music? My music has been described as indie-folk or folktronica. At the heart it is simple introspective alt-folk, but I’ve built in electronic elements. Certainly my new album is much fuller in sound than my previous effort, less focussed on acoustic guitar and stripped back arrangements and more built around a full band sound. Describe your creative process. I almost always start with the lyrics. Lyricism has always been where my heart lies, and my main driving reason to keep creating. I try to write as much as possible, preferably writing something every day, even if it’s just a few lines. The musical side doesn’t come as naturally to me. I usually play around with an acoustic guitar and try to get something basic going in terms of melody and song structure. On the new album a lot of the work came together in actually recording the songs, as I tried to add as much as possible, knowing I could strip away what wasn’t needed or wasn’t working later. It was all about getting down a lot of ideas. Once the tracks were recorded I handed them over to Aden Pearce, who also mixed and mastered my last album Scientific Automatic Palmistry. Shifting through the mud of my recordings and clearing up / highlighting the best bits is like a super power that he possesses, which I definitely do not. I think we work very well together in that respect. What musician do you admire most and why? I love Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes. It comes back to lyrics again, and the sheer depth and consistency of his work is unbelievable. He’s also seemingly not stopped creating for well over 20 years, without diminishing returns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/39FQMAp2C86W7yagW3n43h?si=UMpiKLYeRzudOzR7-MmP9g Who do you see as your main competitor? I don’t really know what that means, I don’t think musicians have competitors, do they? I will say that my 6 year old has started freestyling his own song lyrics and I’m a little concerned that he might be catching me up already. So, I’ll go with him. What are your interests outside of music? I love all kinds of writing, and I’ve tried my hand at poetry, screenwriting and that kind of thing. I wouldn’t say I’m good at any of it, but I feel lost when I don’t have something that I’m working on. Why did you choose this as the title of this project? Annihilation Signals are used to measure the potential existence of dark matter. That idea of looking for something that we can’t see but that affects every aspect of our universe really fitted the themes of the album for me. It’s anxiety, it’s the threat of nuclear war, the climate crisis, our political landscapes, but also our personal ones. We are all being held in this state of potential catastrophe, and that’s what I was trying to examine with the new album. What are your plans for the coming months? I’m going to be promoting the new album as much as possible. I’m playing a run of acoustic shows with two fantastic artists Page of Swords and Jack Cade, which I’m really looking forward to. I’m also finishing off an album with my punk band Launch Control, which has been such a great process so far, so that is really exciting. Do you have any artistic collaboration plans? There are a couple of things that I’ve talked about with various other artists that I’m really interested in pursuing. The idea of collaborating is something I’m definitely interested in, so we’ll see what happens. What message would you like to give your fans? I’m just very appreciative of all the support that the last album received. I really hope that people find something for themselves in these new s

ongs. Let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you.

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wenellyb · 3 years

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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think #I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs

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elysianslove · 3 years

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Hiii! I loved your Iwa fluff headcanons and was wondering if you could do one with Suna? thanks <3

yesyesyes i would love to!!! iwaizumi’s version.

↬ when suna was younger, he really, really wanted a pet bunny. like he really, really loved bunnies, and would beg his parents day and night for one. he even made a really badly edited powerpoint on bunnies and why he deserves one (aside the editing, it was a very persuasive powerpoint. they filmed him while he presented it and the video haunts him to this day). his parents were relentless, though, and didn’t get him his bunny. instead, though, they surprised him with a cat. a cat isn’t as high maintenance since they’re very independent creatures, but can also be very fun. they figured any pet would make him happy. they were wrong. suna hated her so much and would never interact with her. like to the point where he nicknamed her “bitch” and now she mainly answers to that instead of her name. but all that only worked against him, and the cat just kept getting more and more attached to him.

↬ suna now loves her so much, and she’s just as attached to him. like he would kill for her, honestly. it’s his cat >>> everyone else. he has an album on his phone dedicated to pictures and videos of only her, and her bed is in his room because she always ends up sleeping there anyways. he realized later on when he grew older that a cat was the perfect animal for him, and he’s not sure if it’s a parents thing and they really knew or they were just winging it and hoping for the best, but she’s his favorite ever and he would risk it all for her.

↬ his favorite sleeping position with her would be when he’s casually laying on his back scrolling through his phone and she comes and crawls along him to lay on his chest. the warmth he feels within his chest like he just gets so giddy.

↬ suna is crazy obsessed with serial killer documentaries, horror movies, unsolved mysteries, everything like that. his favorite pastime is watching and reading these things, but honestly, it’s not even a like, “wow that’s so cool,” and more of a, “suna what is wrong with you???” type of thing, because he’s the type to have like insidious 2 in the background as he does his homework or gets ready or something. it’s kind of scary how unfazed he is with things like that.

↬ but! yeah he’s extremely brave when it comes to horror movies, borderline unhinged, but his biggest fear? his phobia, if you will? spiders. insects in general, really. he will scream like a sixth grader that’s yet to hit puberty if he sees a spider crawling near him. once he was peeing in the miya twins’ bathroom and some kind of cockroach crawling on the wall and nearly fainted. thank god he was already peeing because he would’ve pissed his pants either way. it’s so embarrassing for him, so he’s so good at hiding it. he just freezes impossibly when he notices an insect and doesn’t take his eye off of it until someone else notices it and kills it. there was this instance when they were at a training camp and he kept feeling as if something was crawling on him, but assumed it was just really hot and his skin was tingling from that. something was crawling on him, though, and it was not just really hot. Top 10 Most Traumatic Moments of his life, especially because atsumu’s first instinct was to record the whole thing.

↬ suna is extremely, and i mean extremely, touch-starved. physical touch has always made him uncomfortable for a reason unknown to him, so he never really accepted hugs or kisses from his family, and would feel so icky if he was roped into a group hug b by his teammates. so when he met you, he thought you’d be so against the fact that he’s uncomfortable with it, because who would want a partner that doesn’t wanna touch or be touched? turns out he actually craves it, and needs it badly, he just needed to take his own time and pace approaching it, and with how understanding you were, he doubted he could ever figure this out without you. he just took it slow, you know? but the more he touched you — held your hand, pinched your cheek, rested his head on your shoulder, pecked your lips for a few seconds longer than last time — the more he wanted you.

↬ when suna became comfortable with the thought and idea that yeah, he actually craves physical touch so damn bad, he wouldn’t stop touching you every second he could. he became insanely clingy, no matter if you were in public or alone. just always has a hand on you at all times. when he’s alone with you, he’s always trying to cuddle with you. you wanna sit and chill on your phone and not really talk? sure, just come do it with your head on his chest. you wanna watch a movie and munch on some popcorn and possibly share a drink? of course he’d love to! just come sit between his legs with your popcorn on your lap so he can steal some and also offer you some sips from the drink. you don’t wanna hug him after a game cause he’s too sweaty? that’s too bad, he wasn’t asking for permission. so you see, suna is a clingy mf. like latches onto you like a koala clingy <3

↬ suna’s music taste is very diverse. his favorite genre is alternative and rock, like the neighborhood, arctic monkeys, etc, but he also loves, loves loves glitchcore music, but also will un-ironically listen to kpop, and rap, and hannah montana’s old music too because why not. he just doesn’t care. if a song is good, it’s good. so what if it caters to a bunch of 12 year olds and not him? who decides that anyways?

↬ suna is very good at hair. like so good. as his sister started to get older, and her hair grew longer, she would sometimes ask him to do it for her before school. at first he was terrible at it, except maybe ponytails cause his hair was long enough at some point to push back into a ponytail, but everything else like parting her hair for pigtails or doing braids or a bun… he was just awful. so, in response, he’d just practice. he’d watch videos as he’s doing his little sister’s hair and be so focused, with his tongue sticking out a little and his eyes squinting as he tries to get it accurate. eventually, he becomes a master at it! you find this out when one day, as you’re just over at his house, his sister comes into his room with a hair tie and a brush and he just carries her up onto his lap and braids her hair as he chats with you and it was so endearing and so impressive and you genuinely believe that was the moment you realized you were in love with him.

↬ he offers to do your hair for you all the time now!! especially if you’ve just showered and are too lazy to brush it and tie it in some way, so he does it for you. he’s actually so, very gentle when brushing your hair, you don’t even feel a thing. if anything, it makes you really sleepy.

↬ when he joined the national team and started to become more and more of a public figure, he’d send you really explicit fan art of him and other teammates he was shipped with just to piss you off. if he was feeling really bold, he’d send you smut written about him. he says he wants to make you jealous. he just wants to provoke you in every way possible, really. one time someone made an edit plot twisting you and him to him and like atsumu so he downloaded video star and made such a bad edit of you and him and posted it on his twitter and instagram and it went viral. like it was one of those edits of just pictures flipping and hearts flashing and lights spasming all over the screen it was so bad it made you cry with laughter. that was his way of telling the world, no one but this person for me, right here <3

↬ i think he’d be very good at doing chores and cleaning and all that, despite how lazy he is. i just think it’s a habit kind of thing, where he grew up doing laundry and making his bed and cleaning his room and washing the dishes that he genuinely doesn’t mind doing it cause it’s natural for him. and he’s learnt to enjoy it.

↬ suna’s favorite color was deep, deep purple at some point, but now it’s between green and black.

↬ he’s caught up with all seasons of keeping up with the kardashians. please don’t ask him why, he doesn’t even know.

↬ once when you were out with him you just gave him a rock that was on the floor and he’s kept that rock with him ever since. like it’s in the drawer next to his bed and sometimes he just takes it out and holds it in his hand while he’s doing homework or scrolling through his phone.

↬ he spams you a lot. like at any time time of the day he just sends you a million videos of him doing the most mundane things; he sends you a video of him eating some almonds and at the end it’s just him going, “i’s good,” or him lip-syncing a song you sent him to listen to, or him trying to do eyeliner because why not. or maybe it’s pictures of him and it’s always ridiculous: him exaggerating him thinking, and then captioning it “thinking,” or just a picture of him on the roof with a peace sign and a pretty smile, or a close up photo of his face saying, “miss u.”

↬ he also spams you with memes all the time. and there’s no set type, it’s just all kinds. really corny memes and really cursed memes, wholesome memes and also memes that bully you. it’s all about the versatility.

↬ suna loves to sleep, he really does, but before meeting you, the only place where he could properly fall into a deep sleep was his bed. after meeting you, anywhere where you were next to him was the perfect place to sleep. if he had your presence near him he could sleep, it didn’t matter, especially if he was resting on your lap or shoulder or gripping onto your hand or resting his legs on your lap. he just wants you close to him, you know? like he feels so safe and comfortable when you’re around, it kind of scares him if he’s honest.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #suna x reader #suna headcanons #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro headcanons #suna fluff #sal's fluff tag <3

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scott-mccall-the-hot-girl · 3 years

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my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

#this took me so long #please go read these or i’ll cry #fan fiction #fan fic recs #teen wolf fic recs #thiam fanfiction #thiam fic recs #thiam #theo raeken #liam dunbar #theo x liam #teen wolf fandom #teen wolf gay #teen wolf #ao3 #fuck you fuck this & fuck it #thiam fanfic rec #thiam fanfic #thiam is endgame

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purecantarella · 3 years

Text

Revamped Rhapsody

double update? who is she? HAHAHA but for real i wanted to release these two at the same time to sort of compensate for being gone for a week. i hope you all enjoy this one too! im nayeon x idol!reader disclaimer/s : i had fun writing some good good angst

Words were important to you, it was a part of your passion and your work. Language was something that you'd adored since you were younger but the premise that you always found it a little odd how words could be twisted to mean or imply different things, just on tone and situation alone.

You wouldn't know or understand it was when you were permitted to write your own songs in your company. The blend of different meanings and people made you find a deeper understanding for the words and lyrics of songs. Then when you met Im Nayeon, the only person who could fill your mind and heart with a rhythm that followed the way you fell in love with her.

It began when you met after you entered the practice room she reserved by mistake.

You tapped away at your phone, your bag hanging lazily over your shoulder as you pushed in the door of the practice room. A familiar song that wasn't yours blasted through the speakers. Your head slowly raised as you saw the eldest member of TWICE staring intently at herself as she danced. You'd watched live performances and met once or twice backstage very briefly, but it was a different sensation to see her in her zone. No cameras and no expectations.

'She has a good form...' You thought to yourself, in an awestruck daze. Just as you were about to retreat to find the right room, a sharp thud and a small squeal sliced right past the blaring music from the speakers. You hastily turned around to see the vocalist on the floor, holding her leg.

"Oh gosh, are you okay?" You asked dropping your bag and sliding to her side. When she got over the initial shock, she recognized you. Her celebrity crush. The vocalist blushed and nodded quickly. The sparkle in her eyes as she gave you her iconic bunny smile made your stomach turn in the best way. "Y-Yeah, I'm good!"

A smile graced your lips as you saw the usually confident extrovert awkwardly fidget with her fingers. "You wanna get up or is this whole floor thing a part of your routine?" You joked to which she laughed, shoving your shoulder gently.

"Oh gee thanks, jerk!" You chuckled before getting up and offering your hand to the shorter woman. Once she took it, you pulled her up slowly, making sure she wouldn't tumble over. "Is your leg okay?" Nayeon nodded quickly.

For a second, there's a silence and a pause. You two just staring at each other like you had for years. Like you knew each other in a much deeper way than just idols who shared the same company. There's a point where she thinks that you might just lean in but nothing comes of the inkling.

"Uh, well I should go. Leave you to it..." You rushed as you took your bag from the ground. Turning to face Nayeon then the door then back to Nayeon. "Uh, I'll see you around?" You asked, readjusting the strap on your shoulder.

"I'll be counting on it." You grinned as you left, the lead vocalist running through your head the entire time you were practicing for your latest comeback.

Brushing past each other in the hallway of the company building became more frequent, on some occasion you both even ate lunch together rather than with her group and your managers or other friends. You both became a little more than smitten with each other and wound up dating a couple months after you first met.

Im Nayeon became your inspiration for working hard, to build to become the person you know she deserves. Of course, she thinks you're pretty great. She was your muse, she just hadn't put all the pieces together yet.

When your latest song dropped, of course she listened to it immediately. Then as she listened to the lyrics that you wrote, the way you described the perfect girl for you, how you began to fall in love with this girl, it clicked in her head. Nayeon rushed out of the TWICE's practice room, making the girls look at her with either a smirk or a look of genuine concern.

She sprinted across the building to reach you in your practice room. As the door flung open, your body shifted to the side, immediately smiling as you saw your girlfriend. "Nayeonie, hey what's u—" She pressed her lips to yours, cutting you off in a passionate meeting much to the dismay of your managers who sat behind you both.

Jumping into your arms, you placed your hands under her thighs as you pulled away. The dopey yet confused smile on your face made her giggle again as she placed a series of kisses over your face.

"You wrote a song for me..." You smiled even wider and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Of course I did, Nayeonie..." You paused for a second before adding, "I love you."

The smile on her face mirrored your wide and bright one as she kissed you again. Deeper and overflowing with an intense amount of love. "I love you too, dummy..." She whispered against your lips.

Despite how much you loved each other though, two years into the relationship both of you became extremely busy. Busier than you'd ever been since you were breaking into the international market and as was TWICE. Coming home to each other tired and grouchy. You'd tried to push it further but with one last fight after a long day of taking orders, you called it quits and left her dorm.

Your break-up was the toughest time for both of you, since you'd never gone public, you both had to maintain the happy facade for both your fans. It was particularly rough on you since a lot of the songs you'd been set to sing all the time were about and for her.

She anticipated every one of your songs since it was the only way she could hear your voice. Hearing how you forced yourself to be bouncy and in love with someone. At least she hoped you were forcing yourself.

On the day of your Sponsored Events, the day your latest song was to be performed during the event. The vocalist watched and saw the visible tiredness under your eyes but you still performed your heart out. Then a familiar melody played. One that Nayeon listened to all the time.

It was the first song you wrote about her. Except the lyrics were different. They were sadder, depicting your break-up rather than how you were beginning to fall in love with her. The lively guitar sound of the original was traded in for a softer and more delicate piano instrumental. As she looked at your face and heard the words that fell from your lips, it all came back to her in a wave, making her heart shatter all over again.

The rest of the girls came in after a while to check in on her and opted to stay with her to offer her some sort of comfort.

Nayeon watched your face intently, the ‘idol’ smile that was plastered onto your lips. You didn’t want to be there. She knew that. The interviewer went through a series of questions about your career and finally about the song. Your song for her, both versions. The smile on your face grew tighter, uncomfortably so.

“So two years ago, you released a song that you revamped and performed for us.” The interviewer asked you and you nodded, a dry chuckle falling from your lips. “And you said before that that song was written for a very special girl. What’s the story behind that one?” He pried making your jaw evidently clench. The girls sitting next to Nayeon eyed her carefully as she stared at your tense form. Silently anticipating what you were going to say.

For a moment, you collect yourself. The sadness swirling in your chest again from rewriting the song that you wrote for her. Having to channel all those emotions without crying on national television. You took a deep breath, releasing it with a pathetically winded laugh. “Short of it is that sometimes you need to let go of things to keep them whole. Uh…” You cleared your throat softly. The smile on your face fell a little, a sad and wistful grin left in its place. “Some things just need to happen to make way for better things, I guess.” You finished, the interviewer stunned.

A silence hung over the live feed for a moment. Nayeon and the rest of TWICE waited patiently to see what would happen next. The man leaned forward, propping his elbow onto his knee as he looked at you and asked, “If you could change the circumstances, Y/n…Would you choose to stay with her?” A somber smile on his face as your head upturned a little, eyes red and watery. Without a second thought, you nodded slowly.

Nayeon’s held tears trickled slowly down her cheeks as she held back a soft sob. “If I could…” You took a deep breath, lifting your hand to fan the tears out of your eyes, laughing softly at yourself before continuing. “I would leave everything behind to be with her.” The vocalist’s members had their arms around Nayeon as you spoke. She had pretty much bawled her eyes out as the unspoken confessions left your mouth.

“But I could never do that to her, not after all her sacrifices. I can’t.” Your voice finally cracked as the feed finally cut. The room echoed the eldest’s soft sobs while you did the same on the other side of the city.

okay, so this one was a little wobbly because i was not sober when i wrote this. had a bottle of soju and i'm feeling good HAAHAHH anyway, i hope you all enjoyed this and remember that requests are open and comments and criticism is completely welcomed! keep safe everyone and i will see you all very soon 😊😁

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