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#also if you notice typos or things that don't make sense pls tell me i'm dying
neoheros · 4 years
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sneaking out headcanons feat. gym 3 squad ♡ — also this is all gonna be set in an au before or without the quarantine, so don’t leave your house please!! social distancing is important and people are dying!!
kuroo tetsuro
listen LISTEN
sneaking out is terrible and you should never do it because it’s dangerous and risky
and you as the woke and understanding gen z that you are definitely respected that
but , BUT , BUUUUT !
the minute your boyfriend snapped you a photo of him in his car with him rubbing his tired eyes captioned “couldn’t sleep, dreamt of u”
your morals were OUT THE WINDOW and now it was your turn >:// !!!
kuroo: i know it’s 4 am but what’re the chances you’d hop out for a quick trip to chick-fil-a 👉👈
you, purposely taking two minutes to reply: why are you still awake
kuroo, who knows you like the back of his hand: babe don’t lie to me, it’s embarrassing for the both of us x
so you agree !! because it was kuroo, the love of your life, the man you’d simp for, and he’s paying for food so hell fricken yeah
you throw on a hoodie, lock your doors, fluff up the bed to make it look like someone was sleeping in it just in case and you gently make your way towards your window
due to personal reasons, you want to pass away
you suddenly remember why you hated sneaking out and boy — the food kuroo was buying you better be worth it
the only way you were actually gonna get down from your two story house that idiotically doesn’t have a roof ledge was if you grab onto the tv satellite that latched by the sill
from your window you see kuroo’s car parked by the trash cans near your house and he’s got his windshield down signaling at you
mfer pulled out his phone from his pocket and waved as he zooms closer to your figure and he SMILED ?
you were in a dilemma?? and he had the audacity???? the fricken audacity???
kuroo, snapping you the vid he took: babe please you’re so cute you look like a tiny gremlin
you: had me in the first half, not gonna lie
it was a MOMENT for you !! but you just say what the hell and go for it anyways because you only live once apparently and sneaking out with your boyfriend at 4 am was better than sleeping
you grab onto the satellite ridge and you pray for mercy that it doesn’t make a sound or loosen up because if anyone found out you were doing this it was definitely kuroo’s ass on the line
while you’re struggling to get down, kuroo’s just in the car ??? laughing his ass off at your current state and you swear that he’s still taking photos
you get down on the cement safely and instead of him pulling up closer to your drive way naaaah he makes you walk to where he was at 😤
you, getting in the car: if i dump you by the end of tonight, just know that the only reason why i didn’t do it sooner is because i wanted food
kuroo, putting on your seatbelt: we’ll get back together in the morning, i’m not worried
so the two of you make your way to chick-fil-a, get food via drivethru and eat in the parking lot with the doors open and the windows down
he still looks very tired and before you even realize it it’s already 6 in the morning
you catch him yawn every few minutes and he always reassures you that he didn’t mind staying up this late :(
he’s baby
kuroo: lets get you home, are you gonna dump me yet?
you, kissing his cheek: no, i kinda love you
kuroo, less sleepy with a lazy smile on his face: aha simp
tsukishima kei
bro if you think he’s a goody two shoes boy who won’t ask you to sneak out at like 2 in the morning , you are so wrong
canonically, he is the most devious and logical character in the entire anime and if he wants to go out with you before the crack of dawn — he fricken will !!
he’s gonna be so sly about it too, nah, he gon make you think it’s your idea to sneak out
tsukki, texting you a tiktok of homemade shrimp rotini at 2:35 am: look what yamaguchi sent me
yamaguchi, who fell asleep three hours ago and absolutely is not in any state to send tiktoks:
so you’re there like ??????
bruv you were just tryna scroll through your twitter feed in peace, why the hell would he send you that like that’s so uncool
because now you were sleep deprived and hungry
you, close to tears: does your house in hell have a pool or
tsukishima, unnerved: i don’t like the concept of swimming
he’s gonna go on about how he didn’t realize what he did and how he’s kinda sorry for waking your hunger but you weren’t born yesterday !! you smelled BS !!
so you facetime him, ready to go off on how unsorry he is and you can already imagine the shit eating grin he must’ve had on
he answers after three rings and he’s in a MFING yellow hoodie with the dinosaur print in the middle, his hair neatly tucked and you just know that he’s got his keys on his fingertips
you, defeated: i’ve been played
tsukishima, heading out the front door: i deny all accusations
you’re not even upset though because this was a perfect opportunity to try the stability of your roof ledge and tbh? who wasn’t unreasonably hungry at 3 am
turns out climbing out your window was harder than you thought and you may or may not have gotten two new bruises on your wrist just by trying
safe to assume that you fell on your ass and since the universe has a particular hatred towards you, your boyfriend arrived at the perfect time to witness all of it
tsukishima: how are you gonna kiss me when you’re too busy kissing the ground
you, tears on your cheeks: if i wanted a bully instead of a boyfriend i would’ve SAID SO
when you get in his car, the first thing he does is ask if you’re okay though and he’s checking your wrists and hands for any scratches or bleeding because 🥺
tsukki: you’re such a clumsy idiot what the hell
tsukki, kicking down the pavement when you’re not paying attention: 💢🪓
you guys end up going to numerous places because most of the drivethrus in town were already closed
you see him get tired behind the steering wheel and you almost have the urge to offer to drive but you didn’t really feel like crashing his car any day soon so
you: lets just head to starbucks hm? get some coffee?
tsukishima, feeling bad because he knows you wanted to get food: we don’t have to
you, in love with him: if you say no i will willingly walk all the way to starbucks by myself , what , you think i won’t do it
so you guys go there and order a couple double shot espressos with a side of scones and muffins and the entire time you’re just trying not to shiver because name one starbucks you’ve been to that hasn’t been unreasonably cold huh i dare you
he notices this and he gives you his hoodie and ITS JUST THE SOFTEST THING OKAY BECAUSE HE’S COLD TOO BUT HE JUST WANTS YOU WARM
you: i knew it, you love me too huh 😌
tsukishima: unfortunately so
akaashi keiji
AKAASHI IS LEGALLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD !!
like he cannot be a bad boyfriend ?? it’s impossible for him to be so ?????? he’s just built that way ????
he’s the ultimate mixture of respect and self love , god was just like “let’s make this one perfect !!”
he’s DRIPPING in love each other juice and he eats kindness for breakfast so ha !
he physically cannot say no to you because he flat out adores you
( except when he feels like you’re wrong or being irrational to which he’ll politely correct you and educate you because that’s on what? that’s on having a healthy relationship ♡ )
so when you hit him up at 5:23 in the morning after a series of tiktoks that he has yet to see and react to you about, he’s kinda alarmed
but then again he’s also not ?? because let’s face it, at this point, he’s used to you spamming his inbox
the last thing you sent him two minutes ago was a text saying “bro just imagine this: you and me at a maccas drivethru with two oreo flurry’s and a box of 20 piece chicken nuggets — immaculate”
and you didn’t really expect him to reply?
it was five am and you were absolutely shit talking but when you saw his face time status go online you were just like ?????
akaashi, snapping you a pic of him under his covers with very tired eyes: it’s 5:27 am
you, sending him back a photo of you and the 2000 piece puzzle you spent the last two hours doing: that’s not a no 💅
he doesn’t reply and you’re not really upset by it because he probably just fell asleep and that was really cute to you so !!
but then two minutes later he’s facetiming you and you JUMP at the sudden ringing
he’s all tired and his voice is groggy and tight but he’s still smiling as he says “i’ll see you in ten”
YOU ARE !!!! PUMPED !!!!!
you won the boyfriend lottery , holy hell
now the only thing keeping you from seeing your man and the mcdonald’s sign was the eleven foot gap between your window and the solid concrete
you’d usually take the stairs but you just know that your mom would absolutely murder you for trying to sneak out when you should be asleep 💆‍♀️
it was either climbing out by clawing through the pipes or not being able to give akaashi a hug and you were not gonna let that second one happen
akaashi, after reading your two paragraph rant on how unnatural it was for your window to be that high: please be careful
you, haven’t slept in 32 hours: screw careful ! i embody elegance !!
in which elegance was screaming every time your pipes squeaked because dear mercy you did not want to die yet
akaashi, who just pulled up your drive way and is now seeing you almost fall to the ground:
you, on the verge of tears: please catch me
AND he does 🥺
it was a close call and he barely even made it to you when you chose to let go but HE DID ANYWAYS
you kinda fell on him rather than landing smoothly in his arms but that’s okay you were just glad you didn’t die
when you both get in his car, he just takes a hot sec to dust you off and ask if you’re okay and he’s so concerned please tell him you’re fine
he’s such a baby please i can’t believe this shit
the two of you end up in a mcdonald’s parking lot with doja cat blaring on the radio and you guys do your best to hold back your laughter as you eat
it was pretty cold and the sun was rising but honestly you couldn’t find the urge to care since the moment just felt so surreal
you: i’m sorry for waking you btw 🥺
akaashi, showing you his new lock screen which is the picture he took of you when he first saw you climb out the window:
you: i’m less sorry
bokuto koutaro
BOYFRIEND OF THE MFING YEAR
i accept no arguments, go cry about it
i literally don’t care what anyone has to say, bokuto is the only man ever ? he’s so deserving of every right on earth i’ll cry
the way that this is the third night in a row he’s stayed up til 4 am and he’s not even alarmed about it
like at this point he’s just accepted that he is nocturnal and that’s that on that !
before he actually had the idea to ask you to sneak out for him, he debated whether or not it was worth it
you needed sleep and you barely got any so when he knew you were resting he absolutely refused to message you :(
but then he also thought about how you would love to have a large dunkin iced coffee right now
and he was already getting ready for his morning fix so why not just ask harmlessly?
if you weren’t going to respond then he’d be okay with that because he knew that you were resting well
but if you were going to answer his consecutive texts with a positive reply then HE IS 🥺 over the moon
you, barely awake: can we get a venti triple shot latté instead , my caffeine tolerance is SHOT
bokuto, snapping you back within a minute: babe you are delusional if you think i’m gonna let you drink that
so it’s 5 am and your parents are in the other room asleep but you know that their jobs start pretty early so you had to get a move on
your room wasn’t that high from the ground to be honest, so you weren’t really worried about falling off
what you were worried about was how dizzy and out of depth the melatonin gummies made you because in order to fall asleep you took 3 and now that you basically forced yourself out of a self induced coma, your body was on the verge of passing away
bokuto tells you that he doesn’t mind if you’re not up for the trip and he’d just bring you back your coffee BUT NAH
you’re not a quitter 🤬 you miss your boyfriend and you are gonna do whatever it takes to spend some quality morning time with him !!!!!
so you throw on a proper outfit, make your way through your window and gently do your best to refrain from yelping every time your hand would slip from the railing that’s keeping your balance
bokuto, pulling up seeing you on your roof: you’re so strong 🥺👉👈
you, barely alive: all for you baby ❤️
he helps you get down from where you stood and he had the prettiest smile on earth i SWEAR when you immediately sank in his cold chest
he apologizes for making you sneak out like that BUT NUH UH YOU DO NOT LET HIM
he is a gift !!! and you knew how tired he must’ve been too since he kept yawning but he still took the time and energy to pick you up 🥺
he fastens your seatbelt in the car and puts the windows up because he knew that the air would get in your face and you didn’t like that
he even brought you a spare hoodie of his because he remembered how much you swooned over this particular fabric
bokuto: we’ll get you some coffee but you can sleep while i drive, ok babe?
you, trying not to cry: are you single because i really want to kiss you
bokuto, kissing your cheek: i’m dating someone i’m sorry
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