#also really im being very literal now that i think about it

[highvern]

Seventeen as Pokemon Trainers

Genre: humor, crack

Note: partially inspired by @ugh-yoongi bts as pokemon gym leaders v fun way to break up the fic im working on. thinking about doing ateez if i get the inspo

m.list

Seungcheol

our leader but also the biggest baby girl. retired champion and uses the same team from his youth to this day. He’ll randomly show up places like some old man, talk about the good old days, and wait for someone to challenge him. The only person whose managed to best him is Jeonghan and his damn clefairy

team: charizard, dragonair, bronzong, spiritomb, lapras, aerodactyl

Jeonghan

If you’re in the woods alone, Jeonghan will approach and ask for help while his pokemon pickpocket you. He likes the cute pokemon and has maxed them all out so he can scam people into battles and oneshot their entire team. Word on the street is his jigglypuff is wanted in multiple countries for tax evasion

team: tinkaton, jigglypuff, espeon, tandemaus, mime jr., clefairy

Joshua

Gym leader and one of the first gyms you encounter. Copied the elite four in the sense that once you enter his gym you can’t leave unless you defeat everyone. Bug types are weak so he makes up for it by being a lunatic. Likes bug pokemon bc they freak people out. He’s more interested in people’s reaction to his team than winning but that doesn’t mean he’ll let up

team: vespiquen, drapion, gardevoir, dustox, parasect, galvantula

Jun

Cats and cat adjacent. He’s literally just some guy that hangs around town and feeds the stray cats in hopes they’ll follow him home. So fars hes be successful. likes to have a staring contest with espurr that usual ends with them both falling asleep with their eyes open.

team: espurr, litten, purugly, glaceon, liepard, delcatty

Hoshi

Gym leader and electric type enthusiast. Arcanine is the exception bc tiger is life. You hear him before you see him and if you do see him it’s probably because he's flying thirty feet in the air from a well timed thunderbolt courtesy of his Jolteon he can’t help but pet when thinking. one of the best gym leaders, also defeated the elite four but by then cheol was champion and hoshi learned a valuable lesson on why you shouldn't brag about winning with a one type team

team: luxray, jolteon, arcanine, electivire, zebstrika, emolga

Wonwoo

All of his pokemon are from when he was an edgy teen and thought they made him look more intimidating because he wanted to be a gym leader. He’s mellowed out now and mostly battles for fun. A lot people think he’s scary but then he opens his mouth and goes on a 45 minute spiel about his absol’s favorite bedtime story and why hydreigon is simply misunderstood

team: hydreigon, absol, garchomp, mismagius, banette, lucario

Woozi

Works out with his team so it's survival of the fittest. People think he’s intimidating because he is but actually very chill. Constantly asked why he doesn’t become a gym leader and the answer is always the same: he doesn’t w4ant to. He is content to sit back and watch Hoshi act like a psycho. Doesn’t really battle much but when he does his opponent is in for a world of hurt.

team: poliwrath, metagross, gallade, gigalith, hariyama, infernape

Seokmin

Every pokemon he has starts with “well its actually a funny story…” dodrio just started following him home and seokmin was too scared to tell it to leave, same with lickilicky… and marill… and pikachu. But they’re basically a captive audience for his shenanigans and he sometimes will busk with chatot and makes a good amount of money

team: meganium, lickilicky, chatot, dodrio, marill, pikachu

Mingyu

Aims for balance. Very bro with his pokemon except Cleffa who is carried around in one of those child wraps. Not on the journey to become champion, more so just wants to see the world with his besties. You can find him sleeping in a cuddle puddle with his team after sitting around the fire and eating too many marshmallows.

team: raichu, empoleon, emboar, tauros, cleffa, steelix

Minghao

Appreciates the beauty of pokemon, especially ghost/dark/fairy. they fit his aesthetic. Has a few randoms to throw people off. You can find him sitting in a field under a full moon while they all meditate or just standing in a cave marveling at the nature (right before he sends you hightailing the way you came)

team: toxicroak, gengar, musharna, murkrow, houndoom, drifblim

Seungkwan

My island boy… also a jock. Not a gym leader but a notoriously difficult trainer you meet later on the beach. His team is as sassy as he is and has no issue KO’ing everyone, including you. Hope you know how to swim!

team: blastoise, lopunny, ambipom, azumarill, milotic, blaziken

Vernon

Average Mr. Chwe. Sometimes he’ll compete in tournaments if he’s bored or one of his friend’s drags him around. His team gets odd looks given he picked a few because they make him laugh but ngl they love him and are shockingly good in battle.

team: sudowoodo, slugma, squirtle, munchlax, mr. rime, combusken

Chan

Living his ash ketchum fantasy. Next champion but Seungcheol keeps threatening to come out of retirement just to fuck with him. Josh sought him out just to KO his team before he even reached the first gym town. Hoshi found him on a random beach and let him win just so when he got to his gym Hoshi could destroy his team several times before Chan managed to land a single attack. 

team: ivysaur, ninetales, krookodile, shelgon, gyarados, larvitar

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

#svt fluff #svt smut #svt crack #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen crack #seventeen #choi seungcheol #yoon jeonghan #joshua hong #wen junhui #kwon soonyoung #jeon wonwoo #lee jihoon #lee seokmin #kim mingyu #xu minghao #boo seungkwan #hansol vernon chwe #lee dino #🫡 highvern

[waters-and-the-wilde]

hehe scenario. jupeter coming out the other side of All That with a bit of 'wow you're just straight up a bit codependent but maybe that's actually the best-case scenario for you right now carry on fellas'

oh they've Had Their Talk in the aftermath, and, okay, it's agreed that they are Not Doing Romance because Nureyev needs Time To Grieve and it would be better to Take The Pressure Off Of Being In A Relationship and they will Reevaluate when Nureyev's had a chance to be a guy who doesn't have to worry about where his next meal is coming from. but also Like Hell is Juno just going to Leave Him Alone after all this. and the result is that they spend the Big Crash just. completely unhinged about each other. Nureyev's shot past 'feeling vulnerable around Juno scares the shit out of him' and well into 'raw nerves and gaping wounds and compound trauma and feeling vulnerable about literally anything and everything all the time and being around Juno is integral to not spiraling into the abandonment hell vortex'. meanwhile Juno's like 'holy shit Nureyev is letting me be there for him. this is already incredible progress'

u think they were insufferable on the Carte Blanche well. on the Carte Blanche Nureyev was still working on things like trusting Juno enough to let him back in at all and he Had An Image To Maintain and lots of Private Stuff to Deal With and Juno was still figuring out how not to be a prickly ass all the time and 'when is it appropriate to give your bf his space when your default mode is to Investigate Shit' and none of that is a going concern right now

'sometimes you gotta be a little bit mentally ill to handle the mental illness' they have so much separation anxiety and they are clipping their carabiners together. hooking pinky fingers and following each other when one needs to do something in the next room. where's Nureyev? sitting in Juno's lap again. his ass is experiencing 'nervous system doesn't know how to respond to the sudden removal of constant crushing dread and just goes fucking haywire at unpredictable intervals'. he gets random-ass panic attacks and there's only so much the breathing exercises and the grounding exercises and self-soothing techniques can do compared to 'Juno is here and he's fine and he's safe and he is more than happily providing prolonged physical contact' to get him to calm down on a physiological level

meanwhile Juno's like 'i chased this idiot across half the galaxy because he wouldn't ask for help and had to deal with him being all stone-faced and cold about it, do I look like i mind that he's clingy now? a lady does not need his personal space at this time. a lady is living for this. a lady is also maybe feeling clingy have u considered that'

everyone who isn't rita (idek who. melee? the other vivopolis refugees??) is assuming they are just getting a very bad grade in taking it slow and are barely humoring them about it. and neither bothers with denying the boyfriend allegations but it's not bc it's true it's they're just. too exhausted to get defensive about it

rita: and i mean they ain't actually smooching too loud in the kitchen or whatever

melee probably: he just came out of Juno's room wearing Juno's shirt

juno: he's a thief that's his shirt now

(12 hours earlier:)

nureyev: (shows up to juno's room at 3am) im sorry for waking you i had nightmares about [the bomb/the carte blanche raid/dokana capturing you] i just needed to see that you were alive and make sure im in the reality timeline and then i will go back to-

juno: get in loser we're watching bad cops

rita: hi mista' n do you want some of this blanket

nureyev: that's very kind but im afraid im

juno: yeah hold up he's like really sweaty im gonna get him a clean shirt

nureyev: you really don't need to-

juno: how are you even still standing up when you're shaking like that

nureyev: that is. an excellent question

juno: anyway welcome to the club i fired rita like an hour ago bc i had nightmares about her dying on the asteroid

rita: i had one where i was gettin chased by this big stompy plant monster with lotsa teeth and i had to distract it by throwing all my snacks behind me and then i was outta snacks and then i was up getting more snacks when mista' steel fired me

rita: you know i think only reason i ain't got separation anxiety about mista' steel is because we spent all that time in the ruby together while we were chasin' after you and that gets a gal over it real fast

juno: thanks rita :P

#good morning i am once again committing my little scenarios #hypothetical denouement nonsense #this is not even remotely legit speculation i am just saying words recreationally #the penumbra podcast #juno steel #peter nureyev

[catbeeisafraid]

I don’t have like a ton to say about this but I have mixed feelings- also spoilers ✨

I like Crystal I really do but at times her dialogue bothered me and some of her behavior was kind of obnoxious to me- like at times when she started aggressively inserting herself into situations and just kind of made it about her? Like in episode seven (though this happened many other times too) where she was having a total fit about not going to hell when it’s clearly for her own good and not about her no matter how much she cares? and I totally understand that this is her being written as an immature teenager who hasn’t been dead or a teen for 30-100 years but as a teenager this sort of selfish immature writing kind of gives me icky feelings because I know so many people who are mostly emotionally intelligent not just raging all the time.- and I mean that for a lot of teenagers and teen girls in writing, to make them tough and likable they are made volitile and annoying which to me is not likable (my opinion, I just don’t like the trope that’s not what I’m talking about right now anyway-) I do think she had good development and I liked her a lot better by the end, some people on other forums were saying that her actress was weaker than the rest of the cast and I don’t really know about that? I think maybe she was artificial at times but I’m blaming that on the writing. I also didn’t like her dialogue about her “crazy demon ex” either, it felt very forced? -Not her emotions about the whole mind cage thing I get that but just all of the “UGH WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKING NOSY IM JUST TRYING TO GET OVER MY STUPID STUPID CRAZY ABUSIVE STALKER DEMON EX BOYFRIEND UGHHH ILL DOUBLE KILL THOSE BOYS IF ITS TGE LAST THING I DO” that felt out of place to me- Lastly I get that this is also an aspect of her teenager-ness but I didn’t like the amount she cursed? I have no qualms with cursing but it felt to me like when little kids and middle schoolers start cursing where they just explosively yell fuck when like literally nothing warranting that kind of expletive has happened? She curses too often it makes her sound really stupid? Like the ep 7 “take me to hell I won’t die” thing, she was screaming at Charles who was being pretty reasonable like “fuck that I’m going he’s my fucking friend too fine then fuck it- fuck you ill find another way to get to hell” like yes she was emotional but that isn’t what teenagers sound like guys?

idk- I’d love to hear what other people think and to be clear I do like her I just focused on the negative- I guess it’s a human thing. She had lots of strong points just I ending up not liking how much she was on screen, this isn’t really about you? It’s about the dead boy detective? Give me more ghosts or Edwin or Charles or Jenny or Niko or Mr walrus please? They were fun I like them? I just felt like there were times where she was over shadowing Edwin and Charles and they are what’s actually important to the show? I think I’d like her more in smaller doses- I felt like I spent too much time having to stop and be like “girl step back this is not about you, you are not the star right now”

and to the argument of her actress being inexperienced or over acting or just not great- I have no specific feelings on this but like the other main cast had for the most part very little screen acting experience and were Fantastic so i don’t know what to feel in that area? so yes, i think crystal is an interesting character and i think she grew on me and developed in the season but i also definitely think that she’s annoying and I’m conflicted because i don’t want to not like her-..

what are your thoughts? Id love to hear different perspectives but please be nice to me because I’ll probably delete this and cry (unless that was your goal, then carry on)

that was all like super ramble-y sorry- but I hope I communicated semi accurately! Thank you

#neil gaiman #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #george rexstrew #kassius nelson #jayden revri #good omens #spoilers #crystal palace

[puppyeared]

save me old flipnote studio MVs.......

#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones #is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme......... #its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid #i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over #theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later #especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure #interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries.. #god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and #cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE #CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus #on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with #and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR #i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with #strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid #someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from #the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors #ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK #lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too #now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here #UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS #yapping #nostalgia

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[hella1975]

the closest ill ever get to being a pick me girl is the joy that fills me when the chefs at work so clearly favouritise me. like im there nicely cleaned up in my smart-casual uniform just a 20 year old waitress smiling my customer service smile and behind me spawns Scary Dog Privilege 10x in the form of several burly middle-aged chefs at least three of which have criminal records and would all stick a bread knife in someone for bothering me

#like it's really funny bc i worked HARD with back of house bc i knew my job would be significantly easier if they liked me #(it speeds your orders through. you can ask for things without being told to fuck off during a rush. they'll get you food on shift etc) #and also there's a stereotype especially in fancier places where floor staff look down on kitchen staff and i think that's shitty #so i was always going to be try with them and be nice but ALSO when i first started my job it was in a peak era so while these days #we're struggling a lot and have had to employ a lot of college kids that dont know what they're doing #when i joined it was all private school girls that would swan about the place very snootily. so the divide between front and back of hosue #was INTENSE when i joined. and there i was a little state school girlie and the chefs immediately recognised that #and took me under their wing. so even though the class angle doesnt exist so much anymore and theres majority state schoolers #im still very much in with the chefs in a way not many of the other floor staff are. and there's also the fact im not scared of them #like chefs ARE rude and a lot of them DONT like or even respect floor staff but i will GLADLY tell them to fuck off if i think it necessary #and that's a language they understand like ironically there's one chef that doesnt get on with ANY of the waitresses #(i talked about him on another post he's the soup one) but he likes me bc when he tried that rude dismissive act i told him to shove it #and now the other waitresses literally SEND ME TO TALK TO HIM when they have questions/want something bc they know he'll listen to me #and me and the head chef are besties and the one kp will talk OVER THE OTHER WAITRESSES' heads and completely blank them #so she can talk to me and it's all just really funny bc the kitchen staff LOVE me and that's not even me being arrogant #it's like a known thing at work that they love me and im just. a 20 year old 5'2 waitress with my little pearl necklace and blouse #and some tattooed ginger mohawked 6ft chef is there getting angry for me when i come in complaining about a table #or the kp that is literally on probation will give me a sticky toffee pudding and tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone LMAO #hella slaves to capitalism

[rohirric-hunter]

.

#girl help people on the lotro forums are being stupid again #tolkiens catholocism is not an excuse to insist that all orcs are irredeemably evil #in fact its evidence to the contrary #because a really big important part of all different kinds of christianity is that no matter what there is always a chance for redemption #there is always a way BACK #(assuming were going with the story that orcs are corrupted elves which is most peoples go to if not strictly canon) #and like i dont want the whole game to be about it but once saurons out of the picture? #yeah i kind of like the idea that some orcs can find their way back #maybe it wouldnt happen this fast but everything in lotro happens fast. get over it #and dear lord i cant believe *i* have to be the one to say this #i dont post about it a lot but im like. extremely conservatively christian #why is it falling to ME to make this argument #FOR THE RECORD i have been on the forums for several hours and had a couple of very civil and good interactions there #but i think i am done for now i have a headache #for the record this wasnt the only stupid person #someone also said that half orcs were breaking tolkiens lore #????????????????????? thats literally in the book

[themyscirah]

Philippus? Wym philippus this is a wholeass other woman?????? She's white?????? Guys come on now

ALSO cursed white Euboea in this same sequence.... homeboy she's Asian please stop

Joe Phillips I'm sorry but this is some shitty ass guest pencilling how can you not know anything abt what these people look like thats literally your job... you also just needed to read the issue before this to know?

Editors should have caught this one these are major Amazon characters

#also i did a quick wiki check for one thing and basically confirmed that i was right about this entire arc so i win i guess 💪💪💪💪 #like “the amazons are starting some crazy murder shit!” are they really now. which amazons may i ask? are you sure its not the bana- #oh yep its the baba mighdall. well then. TOTALLY didnt see this coming (said w love) #i mean its like maybe im being perceptive but they literally showed two of them in their armor and had one say phthia aka one of the #founders of the bana. like okay i had to do a wiki to check that and obvi id know slightly more than a pérez run reader abt them #(but not much honestly ive read the same stuff they wouldve just plus some fandom osmosis/knowing who artemis is) but i digress. do think he #maybe could have put showing them off but i understand the motive of not wanting readers to go months thinking the amazons were chopping #ppls heads off. but they could have teased the mind control red herring (probably? think it was a red herring although it could pop back up #the arc is still ongoing) a little bit more considering weve had dr psycho starting shit for the past 4 (at LEAST) issues but well whatever #anyways the pencilling on this one needed help like its not even a coloring issue at the core of it its legit this guest guy drawing #totally different people... very lame #anyways maybe im too quick to blame it all on the bana i am only halfway through the arc #like i do think it is the bana. i think thats the answer. but again dr psycho IS causing problems and theres been hints of the cheetah being #involved (“animal attack” killings + a shot of her in arkham) AND circe was namedropped (although now we know it was dr psycho) but im still #slightly suspicious bc there seems to be possesed animals... like they are v much laying different hints and pathways here #but i think its the bana. i think its psycho fucking around and also the bana and MAYBE a psycho controlled cheetah or the bana mimicing her #patterns. or are the bana even there if psychos involved??? he could just be fucking around then- okay you know what. maybe im less sure of #this than i thought and should just read more. wait but how would psycho even know about the bana to have ppl hallucinate hed just use the #themyscirans-- okay i need to read more im getting distracted. the bana are definitely involved though im calling it. its them and maybe #psycho. and maybe cheetah. and maybe circe but likely not bc we already established that was a false lead. unless that was also a trick. and #WHAT ABT ARES ALL THE STOLEN ARTIFACTS HAD TO DO WITH WAR-- #.... guys im losing it. fuck it im saying its all giganta and calling it a day i cant do this #no but i love how this mystery is set up its like they just dropped clues for every single ww villain onto it and said “here. good luck.” #this is before the big ww crossover too so it could actually be all of them im losing my mind here. WHO IS IT #ive twisted myself in a circle here i dont know anything now. only that i did call it if it was the bana. or if theres mind control or smth #sus about heracles cup. i also called that although its seeming less and less likely now that the bana and psycho are likely involved. and #maybe cheetah. and circe. and ares. guys im falling apart here #what was the point of this post then? oh shitty guest pencilling and editor flops. the editor flop part i can understand im sure they were #busy even if this is a big thing to miss imo. the penciller though is just silly come on now. someone should have caught that. anyways-- #swishy liveblogs

[gibbearish]

am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes

#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit #and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While #like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days #we shall see #also ajr live fucks severely #the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience #like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad #like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go #so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times #notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with #and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what #idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath #much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck #so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb #the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares. #however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least #meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion #prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got #taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert #so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school #and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player #and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap #like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible #which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up. #the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow #her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated #like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most #and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills. #like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard #fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there

[arthur-r]

what’s really embarrassing is my roommate on the phone with his mom saying “yeah i’ve been getting really sloppy i haven’t cleaned in a week it’s terrible” and my side of the room is just like that. all of the time. and i feel guilty but he also hasn’t ever said anything to my face he moved my stuff some at the beginning of the year but has never talked to me about it and i’m also so fucking ill that i just cant really handle adding that to my list while trying to also not fail school. so here i am being a terrible person i guess. did i tell you guys about turtle-person. have i showed my bracelets. i’m gonna go to sleep but in the morning i need to show my bracelets

#help i have work tomorrow. i also feel sick and strange. wish me luck #the sun was around today which was incredible but also i think it gave me too much mental energy #cause for the first time in forever i had the brightness of spirit to go for a walk. but that’s not the same as having the blood flow for it #so i think i overexerted myself cause of being finally happy and mentally energized i forgot about being physically disabled #i also had to explain POTS to somebody today and she was literally like ‘oh is that the thing where you need to have salt’ and NO like #i do have a really high salt intake to cope with POTS. but that’s not the fucking thing yknow?? like no that’s not what the thing i have is #it has nothing to do with salt. salt is a fun little coincidence that it can help with water retention which in turn helps with POTS #and it raises blood pressure is i think the other reason? but anyway idk i would honestly rather she just not know about it than have like #that very particular tiktok version of it like i am so glad for internet knowledge being spread and stuff and i mean. i guess even the posts #that i’m about to complain about are good for making people feel like they’re not alone. so maybe it’s fine. but i was going to complain of #the videos that are like ‘‘that one POTS friend’’ and it’s just like. salty food. instead of like. having to sit down?? BEING FATIGUED?? #and like whatever. whatEVER but i wish it wasn’t getting conflated with one particular little way of treating it. even though i use that way #i don’t have needs-a-lot-of-salt-disease. like that’s not the point. that’s not the issue. it’s not a salt deficiency. salt just helps #and it doesn’t FIX it. it just helps. that’s all #ANYWAY EVERYTHING IS FINE. i feel sick though. but i’m gonna sleep and i’ll be fine #i miss before i had a job cause then i could sleep all day if i skipped class and it would be really nice. but now i have a job i would be #missing on my responsibilities for. and I don’t actually have accommodations. but im gonna sleep i’ll be fine #and library book cart is actually so rollator. like as far as being able to walk the library situation is such a win #anyway i’m gonna go to sleep now. but yeah idk i’m sick and a mess what else is new. but i have something whatever i’m good theres something #unrequited love for life or something like that. ok im gonna go to bed sorry for being weird and strange all the time!!!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[todayisafridaynight]

me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)

im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal

#snap chats #I ALSO HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK THOUGH CAUSE I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM HOT TOPIC AND SPENCERSLKEAKVJA #rubbing off my fucking eyeliner as we speak im no better than a goffick and im sure the stuff you got was actually real fire and im jealous #i actually wore my hakuho pin out today- i pinned it on my back jean jacket. not to flex on you or anything 🥴 #i remember the day my college friend said something about me being goth and i looked like a dumbass saying 'im not goth...' #when all i ever did was wear black. and tbf i toned it down a LOT while i was at school. i wanted to be normal-passing 😭😭 #that aside i only went in to get jewelry and a new belt chain. also a kirby keychain and nail polish #but like it was that Blackheart brand so you know i just wanted it for the skull container and the name. also i was running out #my hot topic really doesnt have any clothes- or at least clothes i fuck with like its mostly skirts and puffy-sleeved shirts #and yeah those are epic and awesome but they're not my style yk. love it on other people just not on me #i usually get my clothes from like. express or skate shops. very different fashions as you can see LMAOOO #like today i got this really pretty crane shirt and then like. i got a black-and-white striped long sleeve with a skeleton hand patch LMAO #UGH im pissed i didnt get the red and black variant too but i didnt think bout it til i already left #i want to get new boots- the ones i have now are great and i love them but i want something chunkier #my 'goth' fashion is really lowkey honestly like i hardly consider myself goth cause of it- its very casual ig #ignore the fuck-you amount of rings i wear ok. theyre pretty..... also they have certain meanings sometimes #like i wear an owl ring cause it reminds me of my sis since she loved owls growing up and went to a uni with an owl mascot #i wear a dragon ring sometimes cause dragons remind me of my dad. for whatever reason. #idk its cause he tried to convince me i was born year of the dragon when i wasnt ?? idk funny guy lmao #and then i already said i wore snake stuff and crosses cause I Hate My Mom. also i was born a snake #also my dads a christian so :] i will wear two cross rings and a cross necklace tyvm love you pops i wish you were around more #uhhh did i want to say anything else. idk im just dumping about my emo bullshit thanks for reading ☠️☠️ #if this wasnt my yakuza blog id actually just show the haul i got today BUT i will spare you lot from my emo bullshit #ok ill kill the tags here now im SILLY

[stinkrascal]

even though it was buried in the tags of my last text post, that text post was the first time ive ever admitted to any of my ocs having The Diagnosis which is also My Diagnosis which means ive just somewhat admitting to having The Diagnosis which is My Diagnosis and wow that was extremely nerve wracking but it also felt nice to get it out there. this is my coming out post i guess

#definitely gonna delete this later i just wanted to ramble for a minute #idk why but this specific diagnosis was the most difficult thing to come to terms with #being diagnosed with adhd and bpd that was nothing but THIS ONE? it ruined my life for at least a few months #which is so silly bc when other people have this diagnosis i think nothing of it #but when its Me it just brings out this horrible complex inside of my heart #so having an explanation for that kinda stung you know. but hey its there now #a lot of this journey has just been me trying 2 unlearn the harmful stereotypes abt myself as far as The Diagnosis is concerned #and learning to treat myself kindly in spite of my insecurities which at times feel like a direct byproduct of my diagnosis. its a lot #but yeah. Yeah. idek what im trying to say anymore #shoutout to my homies who felt like aliens their entire childhoods only to be diagnosed later in life we are so strong and whatever #kisses you on the forehead #also tbh it feels good to project it onto my ocs. it makes me feel better about myself #making brie autistic as shit makes me feel more normal because in my head im like well shes living her best life. why cant i #and all the straud kids too. theyre still living their best lives and theyre totally confident w themselves and they accept their diagnosis #and they accept its just a part of them you know!! nothing to be ashamed of. so why cant i #THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY im very emotional right now. ik this is kinda weird but i really want to find the confidence #to talk about this without feeling embarrassed about myself. autism rocks ! #this is literally the autism website idk why im nervous right now you are all literally autistic why am i so nervous LOL

[xamaxenta]

It’s difficult to not feel discouraged sometimes when your partner is also an artist and happens to be faster than you in every conceivable way

This doesn’t bother me often because everyone is different and comparing production time and skill against each other or anyone is detrimental mostly and its ok to have your own workflow

but it does weigh on me vaguely sometimes sometimes that she can finish 2-3 full coloured pieces within a week and ive been painfully scratching out the same number but theyre only sketches that ill never revisit within a month

None of this actually matters in the long run, it just makes me feel bad on occasion

#like i should be doing more #im very sorry for complaining so much online #i just dont really have any other way to express myself #i know some of you have generously and kindly reached out to me to offer an ear #but my fatal flaw is i cant talk to anyone about my problems i just idk it was beaten into me that none of it matter #matters or my problems arent a big deal and i know ots healthy to think actuallt my problems are worth talking about or a big deal #but its hard to change a behaviour that was kinda literally beaten jnto you that talking about stuff likw this is a waste of time #i guess i just feel bad that i could do more and i dont because i dont want to #but i also want to if that makes any sense at all #i suppose it also doesnt help that alot of the work im doing right now i actually sorta hate like none of it is good to me personally #i want to stop being toxic towards myself #i just wanna stop hating me and who i am and what i do every step of the way #but that mean little voice inside me is like ahh. it wont shut up #I always say i need a break or more time but what am i gonna do with it #doing nothing at all isnt fulfilling #it sounds. sad like what teenager me did and i dont want to be or feel like that ever again but its fuckjng hard #this is so woe is me #im a liar bc i say the main text doesnt bother me but it bothers me alot im very envious of her speed prolificness and drive to create #and i have none like thats so unfair #this makes me sound ultra bitter god fucking damn it #i want to go to sleep and genuinely never fucking wake up again #please im done i just dont want to

[countess-of-edessa]

i don’t need a boyfriend and my life is full and fulfilling without any romance! as long as there is a cute boy texting me constantly, going to all social events with me and hanging out with me there the whole time, driving me everywhere, hanging out with me during all our formal events, spending at least three or four hours a week just talking with me in his car, sending me pictures of sunsets he sees, complimenting all my outfits, and going with me to get ice cream and look at the moon together, and he only does all of these things with me and nobody else, i do not need a boyfriend to feel fulfilled.

#what an annoying way to learn i am a Normal Girl kind of!!! #i didn’t think i was but i don’t have a good frame of reference because like. high school. did not want a boyfriend was just chilling #and very busy. college. was so deep in a depressive spiral i had pretty much accepted i would live and die completely alone and men didn’t #even figure into it and i just kind of assumed i would never attract that kind of attention in any way and was busy being miserable anyway. #so grad school was the first time i was like haha! this is how i can live my life happily as an adult! i have just a couple of close friend #and im so happy! i guess i really am one of those people who doesn’t really need romance in her life because im fine living without it if i #can keep my friendships the way they are. and now im like wait so why am i sad all the time now? #and upon further reflection i think everything might just be a mess now because i am stupid literally no matter what way you slice it #pray for me but also don’t take my posts too seriously i can’t talk to anyone about this in person so it’s over represented on my tumblr bl #i mean i do think about it every waking moment but like. im also doing other stuff and multi-tasking

[sushisocks]

i wish i was as good as you in being feral in tags. i truly try, but it just doesn't come. you, on the other hand, make growling and barking in the notes seem so effortless, i'm in awe

HELLPP IM FUCKING CRYING THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD

the fact that this could have been spurred by SO many posts ive reblogged the past 24 hrs. or like, ever 😭

but see

that's my secret, lissu

im always feral (lol)

and i just live in the tags so that's where it comes out more often than not LMAOO thank u for the compliment im glad my brand of mental illness is enjoyable HAHAHAH

#HAR DE HAR MARVEL REFERENCE sorry i couldnt help myself but ITS TRUE #the way i am in the tags is LITERALLY JUST HOW I ACT ALL THE TIME ONLINE THATS JUST WHAT IM LIKE #also being like very autistic and severely mentally ill and having very little dignity to speak of on this platform helps #AND i convinced myself like years ago that i can say whatever in the tags and maybe 2 other people will see it. this is my safe space #(obviously i know thats not true theres too many ppl here 4 only 2 a time to see me b crazy in the tags but we dont need to talk abt that) #also also if youre wondering how i think of the words i say in the tags. the answer is i dont!! #thank u again bcz i am STILL laughing over this #i went and looked bcz i was like 'what the fuck did i say in the tags that couldve spurred this ask' #now I scrolled like back a days worth but i really didnt need to. i definitely see your point LMAOO #DONT ASK ME ABOUT THAT JOSH HUTCHERSON POST I WILL NOT STAND RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT TEKI OF YESTERDAY SAID #NOR THAT ARTHUR MORGAN ART THAT WAS A VERY REASONABLE RESPONSE IMHO #ALSO NOT THAT WOLFSTAR ART THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY WITHIN THE PARAMATERS FOR THAT POST!!!!! #jesus christ. im doing it again #im--- #teki talks #asks

[jentlemahae]

-

#okay i need to vent a second #im literally heartbroken rn #this friend of mine just told me that she feels that ‘our friendship is starting to revolve around me’ bcs i asked her to help me once with #wheelchair practice and i was late to a meet up once and i am genuinely without words rn #like she’s been late multiple times and i’ve always let it go bcs i don’t think it’s that big of a deal but im late once and suddenly im an #awful friend #and yeah i need some more accommodations than most people but i feel like it’s obvious why #and to say that it weighs on u is genuinely cruel to me #cause i always try to make myself smaller so i dont bother people and u know that very well so to call me a weight is the cruelest thing #and she said that she feels like our friendship now is just about me discovering the world and her just being there #an insane thing to say when she knows how hellish these past years have been for me and how now im finally able to go out #it’s like am i not allowed to be happy? #i am so sad but also so angry #also the fact that she sent me this when she knows i’ve just started uni and im so stressed and overwhelmed is just beyond me #like does she even like me? does she care about me? she claims she does and then does this like wth #and i dont wanna be a bad friend and maybe she’s right and i am but im trying my best here #and im always there for her when she needs me so i dont get why she’s trying to make it seem like im not #like idek how to answer her #this is really not what i needed rn