#and I also feel super lonely

[nope-body]

.

#things went really well today #but the last activity was super overwhelming and I’m like half shutting down now #meaning I can’t do the work I needed to get done tonight #and I also feel super lonely #it was just a lot of people talking over each other very loudly and I guess it reminded me of stuff at home #because it left me feeling scared? and anxious and I just #I don’t know #I don’t want to be alone but there’s very few people I would actually be okay being around #unfortunately my roommate is not one of those people #I’m also just in so much pain and I can’t deal with it right now #my hip is killing me and I want to go outside and take a walk and calm down my head but I can’t #and it’s really frustrating #because I should be able to do things but I just. can’t! #I used to be able to do them. I still can most of the time #but walking right now is asking for more pain than I can handle #I also didn’t get anywhere near enough food from the salad I was given for dinner because it was almost entirely lettuce #and while yes the food here is very much lacking in the vegetables department I need more than just a salad #but it was part of the program and I’m getting money for participating so I can’t really complain #I would go and get food but like I said before I can’t fucking walk #I’m also lightheaded because I didn’t get to eat enough and there weren’t any drinks provided #I don’t feel safe and I know that’s like a ptsd response from that program because of my family but it doesn’t make it feel any less real #I just want to feel safe

[fumifooms]

I am so sick of Kui. We see Hien’s younger sister in ONE panel in an extra on her blog that didn’t even get published and she’s in Toshizane’s retainer group.

And from other details we know it makes sense too, because both of Hien’s parents work for the Nakamotos and Hien herself grew up alongside Toshiro. Hien and Toshiro were childhood friends, so maybe this unnamed sister and Toshizane (Toshiro’s youngest brother) would parallel them. I’m hopeful that maybe they can stay friends as they grow up, instead of becoming distant and professional like Hien with Toshiro…

Kui really tought through every cm3 of her world I’m crying

#Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #hien #The nakamoto household #Toshizane nakamoto #Prob gonna add this to my nakamoto masterpost. Gonna need to make it a reblog addition though i can’t live like this #Gonna make a speculation and analysis post soon on a similar topic too. So sorry if i start making super niche content soon #Like who tf will come be a Toshiyuki stan with me… #Also don’t come @ me about this girl and hien’s sister not necessarily being the same this is 1000% a Kui move to pull. THE BANG #We have no reason to assume she isn’t #BESTIESSSS it feels nice to know Zane has at least 1 kid his age around. A lil less lonely #Meta

[n4rval]

a little pause on art for finals(they are all late) but boy has brain been braining

more specifically on dings' dynamic as asriel and chara's weird uncle bc that's just something i don't see a lot

#talking to the wall #i personally like to think dadster came up to be because these two warmed up the idea of children on his lonely heart #he used to babysit them occasionally #when they Fucking Died™ mf was absolutely destroyed. back to his lonely cave of mourning and no funny children #unless ☝️ #but now we're getting into babybones territory we already have a lot of babybones content #and mad scientist playing god with DT yadda yadda you know the drill #asriel couldn't care less about the complicated sci-fi weird machine creepy shit he pulled off #in fact the guy gave him the creeps at first. made him cry once as a baby #but chara thought the guy was the coolest idiot. lab coat and super cool sci-fi shit?? you built WHAT?? #So Cool. That's their idol. Also they get to sleep late and do dangerous nerd shit their parents would never let them otherwise #eventually asriel warms up because he's also into shenanigans (and doesn't want to feel left out so he starts trying to prove himself) #by acting like a smartass #fine i'll help but only to laugh when you go bald or something 🙄 (has the time of his life) #they went bald. now them and G are both eggheads #how delightful children are. he misses these two dearly #and then their parents proceed to divorce. is love even real anymore. #should i even tag this #oh well #undertale #gaster #asriel #chara #please nerd with me dont let me shout into the void #thank you

[my-beloved-lakes]

I see a lot of people I knew from school posting pictures on their social medias with all their friends doing various fun things together. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home wishing I could take a group photo with all my Tumblr mutuals to post so I can brag about having the best friends.

#too much of my social life is based on Tumblr but i really don't get out much since I don't have a job and i made like 1 friend in school #so i don't really know anyone to hangout with other than my siblings and my one friend #and i don't go out much exept for occasionally to the library or the store so i don't get the chance to meet new people #i used to have all 5 of my sisters at home and that was all the company i needed #but now they've all moved out except for my younger sister and im realizing that im very deeply lonely #i need to get a social life! but how! #Also i think this is part of the reason I jumped into things too quickly with my ex gf now my best friend #like I was so excited that i had found someone who was just as interested in being friends with me as i was with her #that i misstook my feelings for her as romantic ones cuz i was so lonely and she was such a good friend #and i was so scared to tell her cuz I didn't want to ruin our relationship. it didn't. we're still besties. #but i think im so lonely idk if I'll be able to know the difference between platonic and romantic feelings #and part of that definitely comes from being ace as well #anyways there's my tangent for the night about why I need a better social life and maybe a bit of therapy too #haha that got super personal oops 😬 #might delete these tags later

[kiradical]

Me? Crying over the steam engine going over the bridge collapse in Around the World in 80 Days? You better fucking believe it.

#david tennant just makes me emotional i guess #around the world in 80 days #david tennant #also im just sad and lonely so like... things that make me feel any hope at all make me super emotional #if this boy gets to live im gonna LOSE IT #(ill also lose it if he doesnt but for a different reason)

[felizusnavidad]

how was it to be a part of FLS fans meeting online & what are your fave moments from the show? ✨

i didn't expect this question at all but i'm so glad you asked! 😭

honestly, i had such a great time! i was super stressed at first because it was on zoom & i don't even know how this app works, but i figured it out somehow. no idea how many of us were there, but everyone was so so nice! some people were even brave enough to show their faces, it was so cool to see them just vibing. i, on the other hand, was brave enough to write a few words on chat (i still feel super anxious about showing myself on the internet & about my stupid polish accent when i speak english lol but maybe one day??? who knows. there's gonna be another meeting, probably in the summer, so we will see).

so we only watched first three episodes of the show, we were kinda insane about it on chat (some people were never able to see the show before so it was cool to see their reactions & it comes from someone who saw every single episode at least five times...), & there was a little conversation between each episode but also when we finished watching. i always feel like a lone wolf of this fandom, i never really interacted with other fans, especially when i joined the fandom last year & it was basically just me talking to myself on tumblr lol. but it was a nice change & i'm so glad i could be a part of it because everyone here is so sweet & we all have one thing in common - we all love lin so so so much. honestly it's kinda like slowly leaving my comfort zone, but i had such a great time i would do it again. i really want to interact with other fans. this is why creating instagram account was a good idea, most of them are active there, not here.

my fave moments from the show? hmm, let's think. we only saw three episodes so i'm gonna talk about those. so my favourite ep is "what makes a hombre" because it's lin-centered, so of course. there's also a lot of tobi there & she's the cutest little creature. the entire episode is super funny. as for the others, pilot is amazing - prom, lin in a beanie, utk with go pro, LADIES & GENTLEMEN WE WANNA THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING OUT THIS EVENING, also lin's outfit is one big slay in this one, then the entire totto ramen episode will never not be funny to me ("that TOTTOlly sucks!") & i could go on & on, i just love this show so much i will never shut up about it & sorry for this essay.

#honestly i had such a great time i'm so happy i decided to join this little party #sometimes i feel really lonely here & it's totally fine too because talking to myself & three people who like my posts is also cool but #maybe i don't really have to be alone? #idk #i'm just thinking thoughts #it's just super nice to see people who are in so deep just like me #so yeah #thank you for this question! #and sorry for chaos #anon #i saved every letter you wrote me*

[skunkes]

Hey uhhhh I lost track of tumblr for a bit, but I remember you were really excited about your special birthday dinner and I missed that day so I don't know how it went and now I'm sad

I hope it was wonderful and you had a great time!!! Here is cake 🎂 love u smunker 💙

my special dinner was delicious ^_^ i was gonna post a pic but it does/did not look as delicious as it tasted LOL.... thank u!

#skunk mail #Anonymous #my mom usually creates nuclear level drama on her birthday (a week after mine) #but she settled for doing a lower scale for my birthday instead #so i didnt get to go feed the ducks until the next day #and i have mixed feelings....like i still got to go feed them but that was literally the only thing i wanted to do on my bday which is #otherwise really boring and lonely....alas #the cake was also super good ^_^

[atlaskrr]

Just had one of my worst break downs ever and here i thought i was getting better 😃 i cant tell if its some weird ass anxiety attack, if im genuinely on the course to developing bpd (praying on my life not cause that shit will ruin my life frfr) or if im in a rlly shitty depressive episode recently and this is just its LOWest point.

#yes this was because of spiraling thoughts of being a lonely floater #like nothing even happened my friend (the only person i regularly text) did not respond to me and i started overthinking and analyzing #all my other friends that arent close anymore or just arent super close so yeah feeling like an overdramatic bitch rn cause i vented to her #on accident without asking and also cause ive been spamming like am i clingy oh and there i go again ranting #pls moots dw abt me and sry forventing cause this is the only place i can #praying to god they wont use tumblr and see this #do not want to be shittier by making them feel guilty cause its lowkey all my fault #personal vent #tw mental health #tw vent #vent post

[manasurge]

.

#sometimes I wish drawing wasn't such a lonely activity #am in a bit of a social mood but can't find anything to socialize about #i also wish I didn't need to spend ALL DAY trying to prep my brain to try to draw; despite it being something I wanna do and enjoy #why must i have executive dysfunction over my hobbies #this is why it takes me one million years to something I can actually get done in a few days at most #i'm so incredibly frustrated and it's super depressing and bumming me out #it's just so frustrating and i'm so irritated at myself #i know it's shark week so maybe it's why i'm a bit of a mess; but usually it doesn't affect me during the time so idk #also i love how every night I get to deal with the crippling dread and lowkey anxiety attacks bc everything i'm avoiding/afraid of and it- #- keeps festering in my mind and makes me avoid sleep for as long as possible and i'm stuck in an eternal negative feedback loop #i can't even do the thing i enjoy bc my brain is making it hard for me #not to mention that I constantly get those thoughts about how i'm never getting anywhere in life and i am in fact; ALONE #no irl friends or family and it still scares me to think about how worse things will get in the future for me. #not to mention not having a career or being capable of doing any kind of secondary schooling makes the dread even worse #but again frustrated and i can't even apply positive activities like how I'd usually do; not to mention i'm just always mad at myself about #-everything lmao #stupid brain just let me enjoy me hobby bc i wanna do it and you're not letting me and it's making me feel worse #delete later probably idk lmao

[polyamorouspunk]

I hope I'm like you when I grow up

#super depressed; bitter and lonely; hates everyone + everyone hates? #jk thank you so much you have no idea how much this means #imma be honest a good 50% of the time I wish I was fucking dead #I’m so tired of living event to event like ‘oh I can’t kms my best friend is visiting’ ‘oh I can’t kms I have to go see INK’ etc. #and honestly I’m such a bitter and angry person I mean some of it is valid #like when my managers are like oh I can’t finish all my shit can you clean the bathrooms for me and I’m like sure #only to get to work this morning and told that they were messy and gross and I did a bad job etc. like okay I just won’t next time #but also just like can’t control my emotions having so many meltdowns at work + home + on this fucking blog #feeling like I’m ugly and no one’s ever going to love me again etc. #but also like you know what I’m cool. I’m smart. I’m hot. I got some good qualities #be like me: have bpd and fibromyalgia and love horror and metal bands and listen to true crime and donate to victim funds. #be gay do crime post about it online #punk gets mail #personal

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Came down with some kind of unpleasant bug 🤧 on the bright side, several negative covid tests hopefully rule that out as the diagnosis.

#being sick suuucks #sore throat cough and gnarly stomach cramps #stayed home from work but still technically working from home #i want to stay home tomorrow too but worried that it's a bad look to stay home too much #but then again also a bad look to get coworkers sick #super appreciate my friend in town for dropping off juice saltines and covid tests at the door #kinda wonder if this is just a bunch of stress catching up to me #annoying that my body was like 'oh you're feeling sad about being lonely?? well have fun being sick alone then idiot'

[novanoms]

If you’re ever feeling sad that you can’t hold prey safe in ur tum, just remember that you already house trillions of tiny lil bacteria guys in ur tum that not only help you out but need you to survive! Your gut is there favorite place and they are well protected in there <3

#safe vore #idk i just think about that kinda stuff sometimes #just the super tiny things that we tend to glance over because they're so smol #honestly makes it feel a little less lonely when you know u got thousands of lil friends :) #also pls don't hesitate to msg me if u need me to put a warning on this because its one of those out there things that might #make people uncomfy but I have no idea what it'd be tagged for

[cruelsister-moved2]

man one thing idk how to feel about is the trans men you periodically see weighing in on 'lesbians who fuck men' discourse, usually pretty young people who dont have much experience, desperately insisting that lesbians can be attracted to men because their lesbian girlfriend says so. look I'm not trying to be mean but you need to realise she doesn't see you as a man. she sees you as a woman, or basically a woman, and that's why she likes you. if she was attracted to you as a man she would have to reconsider her feelings about men. if it's just you, that's because she doesn't see you as one.

#lesbian chasers of trans men are so real and massive creeps ive seen it #it often ends up a kind of ESH situation because u also get trans men who are obsessed with getting a lesbian or whatever #but yeah i feel like people dont realise thats a thing and it super is #this one guy who left a huge seething coping rant in my notes #and i went on his blog and it linked to a tiktok acc where he posted 1000 coping videos about it #because he had a massive crush on a lesbian who agreed to date him #and all these videos like 'im trying to see my attraction as more sapphic' #mixed with 'i feel so lonely in the sapphic community because theres nothing about men' (!) #likeyoure literally just trying to change who you are for her. its not worth it #same person that was like just let people have fun or whatever!!! i mean this doesnt look like youre having fun but do you #'sexuality is fluid and complicated!' yeah and if she was attracted to you as a man she would realise she likes men #if her attraction to you isnt making her consider her feelings towards men it means she doesnt see you as a man so its not a challenge to h #her. do the maths

[chompe-diem]

he’s a special kind of pathetic <3

#naddpod #albin pembroke #ba2mia #even for murph standards he’s got smthn to him thats a new exciting kind of pathetic #it’s the defeat. the resignation #and maybe even the fall from grace #but mostly the first part i said. bc it also makes his friendship w sol all the sweeter #u are the last thing i have from that life that isn’t tainted. u are the person who makes it feel worth it #you are my past were my present and i only hope you will be in my future again. i love you #SORRY. childhood friends gets to me #also they left him behind and i want him to come back ;-; #pleading on my knees but like an annoying toddler. pleeeeasee pleaseee murph #after they get calder back can they pick him up on the way to frostwind please #sorry now he’s stuck in my head. thinks abt sol making breakfast in the irondeep mountains and who he’s used to making breakfast for #i’m normal (im so lonely you guys) #<- not super serious but i do miss my friends ):

[violetclarity]

The problem with being depressed but in therapy/on medication is that I try to actually figure out what will make myself feel better when I'm down, but because I can't go online shopping to find a friend group that will regularly want to do things with me, instead I'm probably going to impulse buy a table.

#I don't usually use facebook marketplace but when I do etc. #I rearranged my living room furniture a few weeks ago and I need something to go behind the couch #I had high hopes of building something but realistically that's not going to happen #and I'm over not having a space to put my lamp bc I hate my overhead lighting #what I'm really sad about is feeling super lonely but that's not fixable lol you know what is? #needing a table. #ergo if I go get a table I'll feel better?? #it's hard to be really broke but also committed to trying to improve your wellbeing and surroundings #bc I know *how* I could fix all the things but I can't *afford* to #(although tbqh if I could afford it I'd just move out of my current apartment bc there's so many things I can't fix about it) #anyway...

[floral-hex]

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

#ugggghhhhh so sad #like genuinely I think my therapist rocks #he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me #I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy #I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks #between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday #I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot #and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say #I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden #and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting #I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕 #I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately #I don’t know what I’m going to do #I have to believe it’ll get better #because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point? #also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs. #I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing #and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top… #now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm…. #I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh #but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is. #sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning #I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad #but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this #okay be safe #goodbye forever #text