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#and also because I don't want the people I'm talking about to see this tbh
iimr3 · 14 hours
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reasons why (in my opinion) the try guys hit the nail on the head with forming a subscription service where watcher fumbled:
try guys has already been making TV-caliber content for a while. without a recipe and phoning it in both feel like professional cooking shows, and the fact that they have actual celebrity guests adds to that. their audience is extremely familiar with them having this huge set and a ton of employees working to produce the videos they love. on top of that, they've been around longer. they mention at the beginning of the announcement they've been on YouTube for ten years, & dropout/CH similarly had been around for a while when it's streaming service dropped. try guys just always felt more professional & as a fan you immediately understand why they would need more money
(edit) also, they have formed an emotional connection between the audience and their employees! people love rachel & know how hard she works & want to see her get paid well for that work. not that the watcher team don't deserve that, but their audience is way less emotionally invested in their employees' wellbeings than with the try guys audience & their non-talent team (& I say this as a fan & regular viewer of both channels).
try guys already had experience with paid content that went over really well with their audience. their live shows proved that their audience was willing to pay a decent amount every once in a while for something cool, and they proved that they would actually provide something cool for that money. people pointed out how watcher neglected their patreon; the try guys made very good use of their live shows imo. and as a result, they are able to say "you'll get free tickets to the live shows!" which is a really good perk if you are someone who enjoys those. instead of paying $20 every once in a while for one live show, you can pay 5$ for free live shows and early content and exclusive new content.
plus, they also reveal their expanded cast, which is something all of their fans have been wondering about for over a year. it's not just keith and zach you get to see, but all of these people their audience now loves and is always talking about wanting to join the try guys officially. collectively the try guys announcement feels more positive in multiple senses, both in emotional vibe and in what the audience is getting out of this.
also: no one can say for certain whether or not they decided to keep posting on YT after the watcher debacle, but I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt & believe that they always intended to stay on YouTube. it makes sense as a business decision & it's clear they've been working on this for some time (despite what some people seem to think??). tbh I don't think they were trying to be cruel to watcher in their announcement, I think they just saw that shitstorm and understood they needed to make it clear to their audience that they are not making the same mistakes.
also also: they have, especially in the trypod, been very candid about their struggles with the algorithm and appealing to youtube's demands for content. in one episode I remember them talking about how they wanted to reject the "constant expansion" mindset, placing more focus on what their existing audience wants rather than trying to constantly get new people. they have been open about how certain things they want to do are not viable because of monetization issues; smoke show is a recent example of this.
tl;dr i think it comes down to what was presented (not leaving youtube, new content that wouldn't be allowed on youtube, free live shows, new cast), how it was presented (shorter video, focus on the excitement & positives, show of respect to those who can't afford the price), and the context surrounding it (being older, a reputation for more professional content, having prepared their audience for a big shift, having previously discussed issues with youtube and their content)
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sleepinginmygrave · 3 days
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⋆˚࿔ jupiter's aquarium 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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300 followers celebration<3
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welcome to jupiter's aquarium!!
thank you guys so so much from 300 followers omg, i can't believe so many individuals are following me and interested in my silly life hjjhjjh i love you guys so much<33
𓇼 ⋆。˚ this will end on the first of july! (i think, probably)
𓇼 ⋆。˚ this is heavily inspired by @urbanflorals' event because it was just too gorgeous hjgjhh (i really hope it doesn't bother you oml)
𓇼 ⋆。˚ you can request as many as you want! (just keep it reasonable hjhhjh)
𓇼 ⋆。˚it might take me some time to fullfill your request, please be patient!
𓇼 ⋆。˚ this is for followers and mutuals only<3
intro post
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welcome to our aquarium!! what creature do you wanna see? let me show you what we have!!
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⋆。˚[ sea creatures ]⋆。˚
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {eels} ࿐ྂ i'll make a small pinterest board inspired by you
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {sturgeons} ࿐ྂ i'll recommend one or a few musical artists/songs i like for you
please precise what type of music you listen to!
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {moon jellies}࿐ྂ i'll make you a moodboard or a stimboard for whatever you want
please precise what you want the stim/moodboard to be about! it can be inspired by you, a character, an animal etc (also precise if you want a stim or a moodboard!)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {octopus} ࿐ྂ i'll (try to) draw you something!
please tell me what you want me to draw! it will be shitty btw, please don't pick that /j this one is probably the one that'll take me the longer tho, just so you know
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {manta rays}࿐ྂ i'll talk to you about whatever's happening in my life (or just yap about my hyperfixations really)
(i am an Oversharer when it comes to my own life so this is great because i'm allowed to yap hehe)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {tropical fishes}࿐ྂ i'll assign you an animal based on you/your blog
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {turtles}࿐ྂ i'll tell you three things i associate with you
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⋆。˚[ sharks ]⋆。˚ (mutuals only)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {blacktip reef sharks}࿐ྂ i'll tell you what we would do together if we met irl
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {whale sharks}࿐ྂ i'll write you a letter :>
⇢ ˗ˏˋ {lemon sharks}࿐ྂ i'll assign you one of my favorite animal!!
the same as tropical fishes tbh but more personal :3
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queue ; 13 visits to go
we hope you had a nice time observing our residents!! thank you so much for passing by<33 don't hesitate to come back!!
again thank you guys so so much, i'm so glad for all the friends i made here<33
⋆。˚tagging⋆。˚
⋆。˚@urbanflorals ; tysm for letting me use your event as an inspo, i almost copied the presentation hjhgjhghh it's so so gorgeous
other moots!!; @bloophasarrived @starmanbutitsregulusblack @aesthetic-writer18 @this-is-me-lolol @in-the-sweet-november-rain @daydream-of-a-wallflower @ev-enhotterthanyou @silence-between-seconds @skeelly @thedvilsinthedetails @marylily-my-beloved @a-wondering-thought @a-beautiful-fool @sceirlose @hansenesque @holdmyteaplease @rorythinks @niallermybabe
(i don't have the energy to tag a lot of people sorry, also please tell me if you didn't wanted to be tagged!!)
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cinnamon-bunni · 5 hours
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💙💛🧡123 Headcanons🧡💛💙
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bc I love them so much........they are everything to me your honor dhushadhhsjajdhsjai am so normal about these three
These three have the best dynamic to ever your honor
we have the Tired Mom, the (not) Cool Older Brother, and the Loser Older Brother (that you forget is technically an older brother). what else would you ever want?
like??? Lucifer needs to put the two on a leash whenever they go out shopping. i mean he has to do that for all of his brothers but its upsetting that he needs to do it for these two as they should be the most well-behaved
but Levi is on the verge of summoning lotan because he didnt get a limited time figurine of a sanrio x ruri-chan crossover and mammon is currently trying to start up what appeared to be a pyramid scheme, so no these two were not to be trusted alone
But most days are good days though! Mammon behaves sometimes because Lucifer says if he's good then he can get a special treat; and Levi behaves majority of the time outside, but that's often because Lucifer handed him a tablet before leaving the car and he's been on it and not paying attention for the whole trip, just trailing behind Lucifer
In a similar vein, I think while Lucifer is trying to catch Levi up on the details of an important student council meeting he missed, the second he sees Levi's eyes start to wander he's quick to pull out with a subway surfers video or smth to keep his attention to the matter at hand (he also keeps a small bag with grimm in it to jingle in front of Mammon; it has the same affect)
Lucifer often looks at his brothers and is like "i expect more out of you two," and Mammon is like "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" and Levi responds by insulting Lucifer with so many internet slang words that Lucifer only knows half of at most but he knows he should be offended
You know how most people know a trend/meme is dead when the older generations get their hands on it? yeah that's Lucifer. Mammon cringes so hard whenever any internet term leaves his older brother's mouth. Levi cried once when Lucifer used the word "poggers"
(Lucifer, of course, is very much aware of this, and uses this to his advantage. He does his best to pay attention to the types of terms Levi uses, but they change like everyday and Lucifer is still always somehow a few years behind
Speaking of embarrassing older brothers: Mammon is such a col older brother and brags and boasts about this fact all the time and Levi is soooooo embarrassed by him its unreal. Like how the hell is this scumbag, who isn't even a tenth as cool as Lucifer is, his older brother. how did this happen
Obviously the label of "older brother" is used less the younger they get--Lucifer is The big brother; Mammon is an older brother but often isn't viewed as one (despite desperately wanting to be seen as one bc he loves his brothers soooo much he wants to protect them so badly I could go on for forever about it tbh); and Levi is more of "oh right i'm older" sort of older brother. he's like a babysitter than anything else
These three definitely get together in Lucifer's study to get drunk and talk tho you know they do. They all have to deal with so much shit from the younger four (most don't respect them as older brothers, don't listen to them, don't heed warnings about cursed objects (that necklace is cursed Asmo don't put it on stop putting it on-)), and so the three just get together and complain <33
They also coo a lot abt their younger brothers! Either when they get together and drink, or in their group chat. i mean, this is a bit canon already as the three talk about their brothers in their groupchat, but thinking about how they talk abt their brothers behind their backs (in a positive way) is sooo cute <3
also thinking abt how the three work very well together when needed! need to work on a larger chore together (grocery run, errands that need to get done either for their own reasons, for Diavolo, or for RAD)? usually lucifer and levi get the most work done when paired together! lucifer is often good at making sure levi stays on task, and is able to deal with his possible whining without making it worse
if mammon and levi usually leave with an 80% of either getting off track, or not getting anything done to begin with. on a good day they'll take an hour longer than needed
lucifer and mammon can get a lot of work done as well together! lucifer just has to keep a tight leash on mammon <3 but mammon, despite how much he gets on lucifer's nerves, steps up a lot when it's just him and lucifer
like, lucifer can trust mammon with just about anything...like yeah, hes annoying to all hell and back, but he's loyal and trustworthy. he's his brother, who lucifer can trust to keep him in check and go along with his plans when things go awry. they trust each other so much even when everything has gone to shit <33
and you know that even tho levi is big brother himself, lucifer and mammon still tease him bc he's still a little brother in their eyes <3 and the both are always just so incredibly proud of him when he learns and grows and gets out of his shell after they all fell
lucifer cares so much for all of them, and hes so proud of mammon and levi of what they've become. theyre responsible and caring and so full of love for the rest of their brothers and the people in their lives?? like. even after everything he's put them through, the pain he cause, the two still held up their heads and helped their younger brothers when they needed it. lucifer couldnt ask for better brothers
and levi and mammon?? following lucifer to the ends of the earth. hes done so much for this family and yeah, hes such a pain in the ass sometimes that it gets on their nerves, but they know how much he cares. how his heart bleeds for his family. he would do just about everything for this family, and mammon and levi would be right behind him with it
the three clash and get on each others' nerves often but like. those three? their bond is stronger than anything in the Three Realms. they all have each other's backs and would all just do everything in their power to protect their family and have them all safe <3 and really thats all the three of them could ask for
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lucy-ghoul · 19 days
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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tvuniverse · 2 months
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Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.
The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.
I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.
I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.
I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.
All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.
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dykeinthedark · 1 month
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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)
#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me#like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes#and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style#like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting#like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to#which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own#it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch#but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way#what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian#like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me#i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively#people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation#but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc#(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either#bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme#idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance#even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do#that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes#like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16#because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem
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wonder-worker · 3 months
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that feeling when you want to write a long post ranting discussing something you feel especially strongly about but you're just. too Tired to actually sit down and do it
#also it's technically vaguing other posts which I don't want to do#but tbh this is something I really have wanted to talk about for a while I just didn't realize how frustrated I was until now#anyway:#you do know that it's possible to recognize Henry VII's success as King without completely erasing Edward IV's entire reign impact#and achievements* in the process right?#(*achievements that massively BENEFITTED Henry VII and gave Henry several useful precedents which he actively followed.#If you're genuinely interested in Henry you should be able to acknowledge that and use it as part of your analysis of him)#like I'm sorry but if the only way you can compliment Henry is by erasing someone else's credit and policies that Henry himself referenced#I don't think your opinion can be taken seriously. even though I very much do agree with your broader point#There are ways to highlight Henry's considerable success without diminishing Edward IV's own success that preceded Henry's#(and also without incorrectly caricaturing the entire Wars of the Roses as decades of bloody ravaged in-fighting my god)#(there was a 12-year reign of relative stability and economic recovery from 1471-83 that you're literally erasing completely.#are you fucking stupid?)#It's weird because I obviously dislike the way Henry VIII is glorified at his father's expense#and dislike when Henry VII's achievements that contributed so massively to his son's reign are minimized#so when I see people defend Henry VII using the exact same method to praise Henry at Edward IV's expense (except Edward is#just entirely erased and overlooked rather than vilified)...#it's rather hypocritical imo?#to be clear it's not about Edward I know it's about Henry. and it doesn't generally happen because Henry is not generally#talked about positively at all. he's often regarded negatively in a way that makes no sense and which I'm very frustrated by#But when he IS given praise it's usually exacerbated by people who (implicitly; perhaps unknowingly) minimize Edward IV in the process#and it's irritating to say the least#anyway. sorry. I didn't mean to vague I don't generally do this. but I really do have a lot to say about this topic#I do want to make another post about it sometime but not anytime soon#I might delete these tags in a bit let's see#(super unsure if I should post this but. whatever)
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lizstiel · 2 years
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.
#also this isn't meant as shade or a vague in any way but#writing for this fandom#creating any kind of content for this fandom tbh (spn)#is so hard because like#at least for me#i am petrified that i'm going to write something and then be vagued#or talked about for ''not understanding the characters'' or getting their characterization wrong#which like YES it can be annoying to be reading a story and be like huh#that is the complete opposite of what **I** think that character would do#but some of y'all go IN on these people#like truly and wholly go in on them#and as someone watching that from the sidelines it fills me with DREAD to write#I can work on something for literal years#and continue to hide it because I don't want a bunch of spn blogs to talk shit about me#and that's like. a very **me** problem. that's no one else's issue. that's just how it makes me feel#and like yes obviously it's your blog and you can say whatever you want on your blog#i'm not trying to shame anyone I get it trust me#but SEEING it#i'm just saying it gets in your head and it stays there#it's just a rough thing#and this is probably prevalent in most fandoms#i just feel like the spn fandom is very....loud about these characters#because they care about them so much#oh but ___ would never do ____#or you're SO wrong for thinking ___ would ____ like#bestie you didn't create these characters either#i don't know this has been sitting heavy on me for a number of years#i miss writing#i used to love it#but writing for this fandom just fills me with so much anxiety
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chqnified · 2 years
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Love how one of my irl 'friends' thought I'd be devastated that she hadn't even looked at my messages in over 2 weeks and that she had so many messages. Like babes, i have 3 fan accounts, but whatever.
#I didn't say anything. she wanted to see how many unread messages i had and i think that spoke for itself lmao#but like??? i mean tbh i didn't even realise she never responded or looked at them. She's on the list of people i generic reply lol#bless her. she's recently really been trying to embarrass us in some way lately. or attempting to feel superior anyhow#first it was with the grades... i did better than her so she failed at that (not to mention she also cheated but whatever)#then it was the attempt at saying she had sex and kissed someone at a party and she was 'so drunk she couldn't remember ' ...#idk how she thought that was a flex but go off ig#now she's trying to claim she's way more popular and liked than me and that in a way we need her?#like ok.#erin tag#it's comments here and there that really make me think. ok. you're definitely not jealous of us huh?#and don't get me started. she's still trying to twist everything we say into making it seem like we have a crush on her but she doesn't#again go off ig. but we all know the truth. She's the one who follows me around and has to come find me#nobody else will talk to her at break lol#she'd try to make out that i don't have anyone to talk to but her. the difference is. in break i fucking hide from everyone#because they all get on my last nerve atp#I'm just tired?? i have enough issues as is without some immature person trying to jab at me anytime possible#and whilst she doesn't know about our DID. it is perfectly obvious she tries to take advantage of when a little is out#also. despite knowing when we're having an anxiety attack. she'll just purposely leave us and claim we're holding her back from socialising#one time we only agreed to go out with a group of friends bc she said she'd be there if we needed to leave for a break#when time came and we were very stressed and in physical pain too bc haha joints. she made us feel guilty for it?#also she forced us into staying with the group. saying she too had anxiety and leaving the group would make her feel awful.#manipulation at its finest#that's all she seems to be good at. and yk what. i give her the credit of being better at it than us. congrats babes.
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mental-skillness · 1 month
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"This is gonna be my last pack for sure. I'm gonna taper myself off," i say, three days before i get someone to buy me a second pack
#i worked a graveyard shift and on the way home i drove around for 2 hours#and at a gas station i saw a homeless guy ive talked to a few times and paid him to get me a pack#idk i feel bad about it#like he agreed and he got something out of it too but it feels like a shitty thing to have done#like i feel manipulative for it#and on top of that there's the guilt for getting a second pack at all#bc how am i ever gonna quit if i keep doing that?#like i only have a year to stop#because once i turn 21 and have easy access it's gonna be a thousand times harder#and the issue is that i don't WANT to stop#i just don't want to die at 60 from a heart attack#and that's what's gonna happen if i never quit#like heart attacks are one of the most common smoking fatalities#and heart issues already run in my family#and i already take adderall (adhd not recreational) which probably puts strain on my heart even without smoking#but i really really like being able to smoke#i like having something i can fall back on#and it's so easy to imagine a life where i never make myself give that up#and there's also the added benefit that it feels.... validating? in a way?#like it feels like proof that i struggle with shit#bc healthy people aren't addicted to cigarettes#and that almost feels manipulative too#bc i already HAVE proof that i struggle with shit#i take SNRIs every day and have a history of suicidal ideation/behavior going back as far as i can remember#which means this isn't about validation#it's about wanting other people to see that I'm struggling and assume things are worse than they are#and tbh maybe it's about wishing things WERE worse than they are#like if my mental health is bad enough for me to be a smoker then maybe it's bad enough for me to act the way i do#but deep down i know that's not really true#i chose to start smoking and i had to go out of my way to do it
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forecast-rain · 2 months
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oh.... oh, oh oh oh I might just start posting any and all doodles to this blog. I've been having a kinda identity crisis in regards to how I want to use this blog and my art blog.... cause. I don't want this blog to be Known/Make fandom content or whatever? not original. but. the art blog has to have Polished art. which doodles aren't. and. and. augh. social media hard...
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neverendingford · 3 months
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#tag talk#just realized the intense depression and associated anger issues and intrusive violent thoughts are prolly related to the Lamictal I starte#I was like “I don't think I need this don't think it'll help but I'll try it for science” because I'll try anything once#and uhhh. I went to go to bed and realized there was a bowl with food tucked into my bed covers.#laundry all over is one thing. that's kind of normal. but food in my bed is massive warning bells so I was like uh oh that's real depressio#so anyway i messaged my dr like hey I think these meds are making me feel so fucking lethargic and despondent and also I want to kill peopl#because I would just stop taking them but I'm willing to see what she thinks.#also my current psychiatrist is really great and I like her a lot idk if I already talked about her but she's really cool.#the first one I got was an absolute dick and was passive aggressive towards me and also straight up lied in her notes about me?#said that I had said I'm not sexually active and like. bitch where did I ever say that ever that's literally untrue and you wrote it down.#like. I don't think medical professionals are supposed to lie about you actually that's kind of a big problem#also she was like “I'm not seeing adhd here at all” and wanted to do a full on adhd diagnosis before trying any meds for it#whereas my new person was just like “oh you don't have to talk about being adhd it's pretty obvious to me” and I was like kissing you kissi#ng you kissing you kissing you kissing y#but yeah. I don't think I want to keep taking these meds and I think I'm just gonna take the meds I have to today not the short term ones#some days I just don't need my adhd meds or I would rather feel my normal relatively unproductive self.#still gonna take the ssri and estrogen obvs cause those need to keep up levels in my body and also duh I wanna keep my E levels up#but the others nah my body is super sensitive to meds (or any substances tbh) so I need a break from them today I feel really unbalanced#I did have my gf deadass ask me “should I be worried?” when I mentioned the violent intrusive thoughts and I was like no no no no it's fine#because like. I've never genuinely hurt someone fully impulsively like that. it's all thoughts it's all in the head#I'm not gonna kidnap and murder and dissect anyone it's just theoretical situations my brain likes to fuck me up with.#but it does kinda suck to have people around you inherently mistrust you because of how your brain works.#my brother told me a while back that he locks his door at night because he's worried about me and you do know how fucking hurtful that is?#the person you trust enough to move out and move in with is afraid of you enough to lock their door at night.#not like that would stop me if I genuinely did try to hurt him obviously. interior door locks are a joke.#but like... that someone would hear you talk about intrusive thoughts and genuinely think you capable of them to some extent.#idk that hurts a lot.#I wish I weren't like this.
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starlit-mansion · 5 months
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i still keep getting recommended posts about the james somerton debacle (unsurprising) and i swear to god, at this point i've spent more time trying to remember what my reaction was to watching his yoi video a while back while half-sleep deprived or smth than i a) spent watching the video and b) spent thinking about any other creator i watched one mid video from and ignored after
#at least i remember specifically deciding that blaire trianglehead was too slow paced and dull to keep listening to after about 3 vids#but also the subjects were really... ghoulish borderline true crime like the leggings scam vid that was 1/3 botched surgery talk#at least in my memory. and her dispassionately talking about it rather than sticking to the subject at hand and having little opinion#put me right off my lunch and i was done#somerton was allll up in my recs just before the bomb dropped and i was half keeping an eye out for a new vid about a subject i cared about#but it was literally all stuff i'm sick to death of. didn't want to hear about evil gays or vampires or if barbie is camp#it was all very... stuff i was already tired of seeing on tumblr and i didn't think i'd get anything new out of#but i was still keeping him in mind because i thought he was a type of person that had little presence in the video essay scene#lol in retrospect#but i do actually try to keep an eye out for creators with different backgrounds. esp black creators. and accept that i might disagree a bi#or find parts of their perspective a little uncomfortable or off-putting. so i probably would have forgiven some of the misogyny tbh#not that it's something that like. idk i should do to punish myself. it's not like there isn't a lot of microaggressions from women#but the fact that it was proven that so many of those were trumped up for show was. honestly a huge betrayal?#people are genuinely cruel to marginalized creators and pretending that it's worse than it is and flopping for sympathy is so galling#it's really easy to be like 'oh i would have never been taken in' just because there was already something keeping me at arms length#but i know that isn't true. i'm a freakin easy mark! you don't even want to know how many podcast/youtube sponsorships i've tried#and also sometimes i find something initially off-putting about a youtuber and later get into them more and find them charming#i genuinely don't think that i have unimpeachable first impressions and sometimes i test them later to see if they still hold
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yeahxsurexokay13 · 16 days
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bragger - lando norris
summary: fans constantly tease yn for always bringing lando up and being a bit of a simp for her boyfriend - which only gets worse after his first f1 win - so she writes a song about how if they were her they'd do the same.
warnings: none i think??? but let me know if i missed any. the song mentioned is 'bragger' by kelsea ballerini!! (((:
IN HONOUR OF LANDO'S VERY FIRST WIN !! 🥇
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y/n.updates
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Liked by fan22 and 1.340 others
y/n.updates Y/n's interview with WIRED where she answers the web's most searched questions about her is now out! Go give it a watch 😄
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fan1 she looked painfully beautiful in this
fan2 how was lando in the answer for questions like 'does y/n speak spanish?' or 'is y/n a good singer?' lol
fan7 she said she didn't remember much from high school but knew some words lando had been taught by carlos sainz and that her boyfriend tells her she is... it kind of isn't that weird if u think about it haha
user1 The more I see of her, the more I like her
fan7 i spy with my little eye 1.6K people with no taste
fan3 interview was everything I hoped for and more! she's hilarious and relatable as always
fan4 new drinking game: take a shot every time she mentions lando
fan5 I've watched it like 5 times already lol
fan6 we need a tally for how many times Y/n drops 'Lando' in her interviews. can someone make that happen?
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y/n.y/l
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Liked by carlossainz55 and 1.890.321 others
y/n.y/l the vibe i bring to the function (ugly crying on facetime) !!! so incredibly happy for you @/landonorris. you did it 🧡🧡🧡
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y/n.y/l also congrats @/oscarpiastri and everyone else at mclaren for an amazing race ((((:
oscarpiastri thank you Y/n! 🧡 ❤️ by author
landofan4 ok this is very cute and nice of her🥺🥺
fan1 ARE YOU STILL CRYING ? BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY STILL CRYING
y/n.y/l started crying on lap 54 and haven't stopped since
fan2 new post from my fave lando norris fan account yay (also go lando!!!!!!)
user1 Well deserved 👏🏼👏🏼
landofan3 soy lago
y/n.y/l same
lnfour LFGGGG ❤️ by author
fan3 How many times do you think Y/n's going to mention Lando's win in the next week? Taking bets now
maxfewtrell It's the messy hair and smudged mascara for me
y/n.y/l knew i should've gone for the 'perfectly composed while crying' look instead 😔
landofan1 rip lando nowins: 2019-2024 ❤️ by author
landofan2 "you were scared? i wasn't. i was ok (laughs). thank you. i love you" lando 🥹🥹🥹
fan5 when did he say that? omg
landofan2 f1 posted a reel on their profile and you can hear him talking to her!
mclaren LANDO NORRIS IS A FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER 🏆
y/n.y/l I AM SO NOT CALM ABOUT THIS ??!!?
user2 i could've sworn i saw her at the race? why are they facetiming?
fan4 they could barely speak after the win tbh! this is probably a call in between interviews
user2 today's bottle smash hit different ❤️ by author
landonorris I've said this like a million times already today but I love you so much
y/n.y/l i love you i love you i love you i love you
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Liked by pietra.pilao and 1.809.896 others
y/n.y/l if he was yours, you'd do the same without apologising... new single 'bragger' out now!!!! 💋💋
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fan6 WHAT HAPPENED TO HWLLO ?? HOW ARE YIU ??
y/n.y/l 🫢🫢
fan1 "he's just too damn good not to mention" .....................i mean she is right we'll give that to her ❤️ by author
landofan1 USING THESE SPECIFIC PICS OF LANDO TO ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF A SINGLE ABOUT BRAGGING ABOUT HIM IS WILD !!!!
landofan5 that last video is doing things to me.........
landonorris i'm confused does anyone know who this is about?
y/n.y/l no idea 🤷🏽‍♀️ but let me know if you find out xx
landofan4 apparently about some guy named bob?? I'm not sure
fan8 HAHAHA I LOVE THEM
fan2 she really wanted to make sure she'd made her point clear with this dump omfg
fan3 her point: she has a hot bf and we don't
user1 Well played, Y/N. Well played. 🥸
fracisca.cgomes On repeat ❤️❤️
y/n.y/l lindaaaaaaa ❤️
landofan2 knowing all she's saying is about lando makes the song x1000 times better
fan7 so she saw the tweets... 😐
y/n.y/l i saw everything 👀 they were actually hard to miss hahaha
user2 "i understand why you would want him (i don't mind)" queen behaviour !!!!!! 👑👑
fan4 So this is how she gets back at us for all the teasing lol not complaining at all
landofan3 I can't believe this new song is actually inspired by the fans' teasing about Lando!!🤣
fan5 we joked, she delivered!!! bragger is actually a banger👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
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il-miele-che-scrive · 4 months
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you know what people are saying when a girl gets cheated on? go for his brother.
a/n not tryna offend anyone, I just love a lil drama
Part 2 here
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username1 Miss Y/n Y/l/n getting cheated on? No one is safe fr
↳username2 Yeah cuz how's he casually cheating on a literal goddess??
username3 they were together for almost 2 years😭
username4 My therapist will hear about this
↳username1 And Arthur is paying the bill
username5 that's it I'm NEVER trusting a man
username6 Isn't that girl Y/n's friend too? Poor girl getting cheated on twice
↳username3 yes it is 😭 guess Arthur got it from his brother
username7 Except Charles didn't cheat 😭 he's a homie hopper but he got morals
username8 I don't worry about Y/n, she's gonna find a new bf, but she wasted almost 2 years on him
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yourusername excuse my state i'm as high as your hopes
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username2 Miss girl about to enter her hoe phase
↳username3 As she should tbh
charlottesiine Lots of fun last night🤍
↳yourusername nothing will beat an ex wags night out
↳username2 best ex wags fr 😭
yoursister Next time I'm going too to keep an eye on you wtf
username4 Wait so Y/n and Charlotte are friends? When did this happen?
↳username5 Yeah cuz we've never seen them hang out back when ChaCha was a thing and suddenly the girls are partying together?
↳username6 I mean it could be just a "we both suffered a Leclerc so let's hang out" kinda thing
username5 WE BOTH SUFFERED A LECLERC 💀 no okay but that's valid
username7 Am I the only one noticing this post was liked by Charles?
↳username2 He knows his lil bro messed up lmao
username8 Okay guys so what are we betting on - did Charles like this post because of Y/n or because of Charlotte? Also, isn't he in a relationship?
↳username3 Charles has been single for a few months now, he's free to like whoever he wants lmao
↳username9 It's just a like it's not that deep
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arthur_leclerc You were my cup of tea but I drink vanilla latte now
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username1 The AUDACITY some men have
username2 and she was her best friend 😭
username3 I really want to believe they broke up before he got with the best friend but I don't think it's true
↳username4 Y/n and Arthur literally attended Charles' race a few days before we got the pics of Arthur with the other girl
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yourusername you don't mean nothing at all to me
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yoursister And I didn't even have to stop you from calling your ex
↳yourusername why would I even wanna call him anyways
yoursister Riiight, you were too busy getting to know some other interesting people:)
username1 What is Y/s/n talking about?
↳username2 Or rather WHO is she talking about?
username3 No Charlotte in the post but Charles is in the likes again 😶
↳username4 Have you seen what this one gossip page posted? Charles being in the likes isn't the thing I'd worry about here
username5 WHAT.
username3 Care to elaborate?
username4 Charles was also at the club with Y/n. It honestly looks like it was organized by a friend of his and he took Y/n there
username2 OH
username2 That's what Y/s/n is talking about
username5 Our girl Y/n is getting promoted from F2 to F1 and I love to see that
↳username6 LMAO it's so funny because it's true 😭
↳username2 Do we know who else was at this party?
username4 Allegedly the party was organized by Gasly, so obviously there was his gf Kika, but also some fellow drivers like Albon, Russell, Sainz, Ocon, Ricciardo and their gfs
username5 I was joking but now it looks like Y/n is actually becoming an F1 wag now lol
username7 Gossip girl on wheels I've been saying it for months
username8 But the caption SLAPS
↳username9 no because it looks like Y/n and Arthur are having a caption war lol it's funny
username8 It's childish but let a girl heal from a heartbreak in peace
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yourusername karma will take it from here
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username1 MISS GIRL?? WHO IS THE MAN??
↳username2 We all know it's Charles (allegedly)
username8 Nah cuz I told yall she's gonna find another boyfriend soon
yoursister Loving to see you happy again ❤️
↳yourusername just needed a little upgrade
username3 I have no proof but I just know it's Charles
username4 Do we think she went for Charles because she genuinely likes him or just to get back at Arthur?
↳username5 Wait until someone starts a "she cheated on Arthur with Charles" gossips
username6 My two favorite red flags
↳username7 The homie hopper and the brother hopper, a match made in heaven
username6 The homie hopper is so real, Y/n recently hung out with his ex Charlotte 💀
username8 What kinda brother gets with his brother's ex?
↳username9 Imagine the next family dinner lmao
username10 Y'all it's not even confirmed that the man is Charles, y'all are crazy
↳username6 The post was liked by all the F1 drivers and their partners that were on the party from Y/n's previous post, it says a lot
↳username2 What @/username6 said and also Y/n is now followed by half of the F1 grid AND the wags
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charles_leclerc Not your cup of tea, but my glass of wine
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yourusername KARMA IS MY BOYFRIEND❤️
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wordstome · 6 months
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COD Men as Dream Daddy DILFs
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Call of Duty single dads x gn!single parent reader
⤐Characters: 141 + König + Horangi + Keegan
⤐Premise: You just moved into a neighborhood with a high population of retired military personnel.
*glances at my 3-4 wips* let's talk about some dilfs, shall we? ...Don't look at me. I had a vision. (No relation to the actual characters from Dream Daddy, just a similar premise) Also a disclaimer: I'm writing these dads mostly in their late 30s to 40s, but don't think about their ages and the ages of their kids too much. This is all vibes. And sorry ahead of time if I gave one of the kids the same name as you 💀 Feel free to imagine the kid has a different name because the names really don't matter
p.s. I wanted to write more characters but I had to reel myself in. I could be persuaded to write a part 2 with Vaqueros, Nikolai, Valeria, Nikto, and other Ghosts tbh
Warning: this shit is LENGTHY. Strap yourself in.
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Price: A post about DILFs and you expect me not to start with Captain John Price? Price is the lynchpin of this cul de sac. He's the one inviting everyone over to the barbecue, tries to get the dads to get along, and gives everyone advice. He has the quintessential dad energy. He 100% slaps his knees and says "well!" when he gets up. Price also has major girl dad energy. He's got three adorable little ladies, aged 3 (Clara), 9 (Brianna), and 11 (Alice). Yes, he did name his daughters in ABC order, I can see him doing that. Oh, he dotes on his girls, and they love their dad endlessly. He's the model father: recitals, sports, parent teacher conferences, you name it, he's there.
That's how the two of you meet: he comes up to you at one of the aforementioned events and gives you a firm handshake and apologizes profusely for not coming around to introduce himself earlier. It's not like him not to at least swing by, and he hopes you can forgive him the discourtesy. He hands you his number and says anything you need, just give him a call, or maybe swing by for a beer sometime. He gives you a wink that makes your knees weak, a wink that says he definitely noticed you checking out his muscled arms and broad shoulders. Maybe you will swing by for that beer sometime—and maybe get a little more than just a drink.
Ghost: I could see Simon having a one night stand kid. He certainly never saw himself starting a family after he lost his last one, but he was stressed and probably piss drunk as well. Years and years later, he's back from deployment and finds a social worker with a boy on his doorstep, and the rest is history. I love the idea of Simon with a moody 16 year old, but I actually see Simon and his son having the same dynamic as Mike and Abby Schmidt from the FNAF movie. Since Simon wasn't around for Caden's early childhood, they have a relationship that's undeniably father and son, but leaning towards casual and sibling-like. Simon's figuring his shit out, dealing with his PTSD and the various lasting health issues his time in special forces has left him with, and Caden's a quiet, sensitive 10 year old boy who thinks the world of his dad.
You meet Simon at the local bar. His Ghost days are long behind him, but the balaclava's a hard habit to kick. Besides, he doesn't need people staring at his scars. He's usually there with the 141, but today he's alone, and looks like he could use some company. You sit up at the bar close to him and order a drink, but you don't disturb him, and he visibly relaxes when he realizes you're not going to try to make small talk. It becomes a routine, the two of you: always sharing a quiet drink together at the bar, and then both of you wordlessly go home to your kids. You have a sort of silent conversation every time: Good to see you again. Yeah, you too. Neither of you actually speak a word to the other until Price introduces you to him at a gathering, and you finally hear his voice. "We've met before," he says, with a glint in his eye that suggests perhaps he'd like to be more than just a silent drinking buddy. That's fine with you: you're dying to see what's under the mask and dark hoodie.
Soap: JOCK ALERT. Johnny's basically Craig from Dream Daddy: total dreamboat who goes on runs around the neighborhood and gets all the appreciative looks from the local moms. He thrives on the attention in a way that definitely makes the 141 roll their eyes. He's got an older little girl named Elodie, and a lil baby boy Thomas that he takes everywhere with him. Obviously he's just being a responsible parent taking care of an infant, but secretly, Thomas is a great conversation starter with aforementioned local moms.
Conversely however, it's Johnny who makes the move on you first. Maybe in the grocery store, maybe at one of Price's get-togethers. Sidles up to you and introduces himself with a look in his eye that means trouble. Only the good kind of trouble, of course. If you reciprocate and he finds out you're single, you're not getting rid of him. But why would you want to, anyway? He's endlessly charming, attentive, and good with his hands. When he's fixing a leaky tap for you, of course—what did you think I meant?
Gaz: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick is a fucking heartthrob. I'm saying it right here, right now. He's a walks in with flowers, makes you dinner kind of partner. Also househusband vibes, because, surprise: Kyle is still married. This isn't a Joseph (Dream Daddy) situation, though: he and his wife, Emily, have known each other for a long time, a very high school sweethearts situation. Over the years, though, they drifted apart with Kyle in the military, and Emily eventually realized she's not actually into men. They're still married for coparenting purposes: they've got an older teenage girl named Violet, and a younger boy named Elliott. (Yes, I'm naming him after Elliot Knight, sue me.)
Honestly, I think it would be HILARIOUS if you met Kyle on a dating app and realized he's your next-door neighbor. But however you guys meet, Kyle is an old-school courter kind of guy. He is taking you on dinner dates, listening to you rant about your day, and is on your doorstep in a heartbeat when you call him in a panic because your kid's running a 105 fever (41 in Celsius) and you need a ride to the emergency room. (Not that the other dads wouldn't do the same, but I'm trying to convey "most reliable man in the world" vibes here.)
König: Y'all...you don't know how much fucken time I've spent thinking about this man as a dad. He's in the same boat as Ghost where he never saw himself living long enough to start a family, but here he is with the most precious little girl you've ever laid eyes on. Ava's got her father's curly hair and big green eyes, and she has her dad wrapped around her pinky finger. For König, Ava is living proof that he's capable of being more than just a tool for violence.
You meet König through Ava, of course. Your kids are the closest of friends, and the two of them are constantly going over to each other's houses. You're obviously delighted that your kid is making new friends and fitting in so well, but you'd be lying if your heart didn't skip a beat whenever you open your door to see Ava's six foot ten dad standing there with soft eyes and a sheepish smile. I have to stop here, because I've already written an extra paragraph for this man that I've cut out and pasted for safekeeping in my notes app, and if encouraged I will write more. (Please encourage me.)
Horangi: I know we already had a sort of Robert (Dream Daddy) figure with Ghost, but I think Horangi is a dad whose kid is an adult, much like Robert and Val. I also think that out of all the dads, Horangi is likely the one who's still doing some level of military work. Either that, or he has a very demanding job that takes up a lot of his time. He's ashamed of the way he let his gambling affect his family in the past, and is making up for it by being responsible and keeping his finances in order.
You don't meet him until you've lived in the neighborhood for quite a while, but he pops up at a gathering, talking quietly with König in a corner. You'd thought you had met every neighbor in the cul de sac, so you're intrigued by the newcomer. Someone, probably Price, tells you what Hong-jin's deal is, and ever since that you just can't keep your eyes off of him. You can't quite work up the nerve to talk to him, so you occupy yourself talking with the other parents. Some time later, you're at the food table grazing on the snacks when you look up and make eye contact with him. There's something intense in his gaze that makes you freeze, like a deer in headlights. He's definitely checking you out, you think. Your chest erupts into nervous butterflies when he starts walking towards you.
Keegan: Keegan is an adoptive father! I love his dynamic with the Walker boys, so I can see him being the kind of guy who adopts an older teenager so they have a home and a family instead of aging out of the system. Jason and Cecelia are high school age siblings who would have been separated otherwise, and consider Keegan their dad in every way that's important.
I think you and Keegan are definitely rivals in some way. Maybe it's a PTO thing, maybe he gets a little too boisterous at your kids' sports game. Whatever it is, you can't stand the man, but your annoyance whenever he's around only seems to amuse him. You have no problem saying to his face exactly what you think about him, but unfortunately, Keegan can see right through you. And hey, Cecelia could use some experience as a babysitter, so you won't have to worry about spending the night over at his place, will you?
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As always, I wanna hear peoples' thoughts and feedback! If you want to hear more about these dads, drop me an ask <3
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