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100hearteyes · 3 years

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Clexaweek 2021: Day 3 - Reunited (a summary)

Several months after Praimfaya, Clarke is roaming the now deserted Earth without a destination. All her friends on the spaceship actually died (ship exploded after take-off); there’s no Madi either. So she’s roaming the desert when a portal opens and out comes.... her doppelganger.

After a less than warm introduction, because it’s Clarke (and there’s two of them now), Clarke 2 tells Clarke that they don’t just look alike — she’s her but from another world and her name is Ruby. And she makes her an offer (mind you, Clarke is desperate and 100% she is going to die sooner or later): trade places with her. Ruby will stay in the desert, where she actually has the tools to survive, and Clarke can take her place in her own world.

Clarke’s like 🤔 a chance to actually live a life 🤔 know what could’ve been in a different world 🤔 well what the hell, I’ll take it. So Ruby hands Clarke an object that allows her to travel ONCE to another world and they part ways — Ruby stays in our Earth, whereas our Clarke goes to that other world.

Clarke lands in a 16th century style palace bedroom. She barely has time to collect her bearings when the door opens and---

---in full 16th century noble garb, looking heartbroken, when she suddenly sees Clarke and... she nearly faints.

Sixteenth century Lexa goes totally neurotic because her Clarke just died so who is this imposter??? And she knocks Clarke down and is about to kill her (as if she could bring herself to do it) when the door slams open and---

Yes. Another one 👀 two Lexas. Clarke’s lil bi heart can’t take this.

This one is dressed completely different, a lot more sci-fi, almost like a modern deity. And she just comes in and MIB’s the first Lexa and Clarke is like WTF IS GOING ON HERE??? But also-- LEXA????

This Lexa, we’ll just call her Lexa for the sake of both our collective sanity and the story because Lexa is you-know-what, helps Clarke up and asks her to come with her, to which Clarke is like lol no, explain first. But Lexa’s all like annoyed eye roll and look we don’t have time, I promise I’ll explain everything if you come with me. She also assures Clarke that 16th century Lexa will be fine, she just won’t remember what happened.

Anyway, Clarke goes with her and they enter a sort of palace/tower in the middle of space or like in a rift between worlds. There’s a big room there with an oval/round table, which is basically a database for every single Clarke and Lexa in existence. The building is called The Observatory.

Lexa explains that there is a multitude of universes and timelines where the two of them exist. A lot of their iterations have different names, but sometimes they’re called Clarke and Lexa. Those are like their “purest” versions.

So, yes. They’re soulmates. Obviously.

And there is always a Clarke-Clarke or a Lexa-Lexa watching over all of them, making sure everything runs smoothly. Which is what Lexa does. When an Observer dies (time passes normally for them) another takes her place.

Basically, in this AU, every Clexa fic that’s ever been or ever will be written is canon.

Anyway, Lexa tells her tat the Lexa-Lexa or Clarke-Clarke that becomes the Observer is one who has passed away too soon. And Clarke is like 👀👀👀 so are you MY- but Lexa shuts that idea down very quickly.

So what happened to this rogue Clarke? A Clarke aka Ruby has been killing other Clarkes for a while but Lexa has no idea why and she also doesn’t know WHICH version of Clarke she is. There’s millions, billions of their iterations.

She killed 16th century Clarke (whose name wasn’t Clarke), too.

And why can’t Lexa just go after her in Clarke’s world? Because while you can detect anomalies (like a live Clarke in a dead Clarke’s world) you can only locate Clarkes or Lexas if you know WHO they are. Also, the Observer can’t stay in any world for longer than two weeks.

Clarke asks Lexa why she didn’t just go back to her world after being sort of brought back to life. Lexa explains she’s only allowed a short total amount of time in her original world and she already used some of it a long time ago when she went back to help her soulmate when no one else would. Clarke, remembering how her Lexa showed up in the City of Light to help her, says it must have killed Lexa’s Clarke to lose her a second time. Lexa says it was just as painful for her.

And she can’t stay on HER original world for longer than a day — otherwise she dies/disintegrates (and another Observer will take her place.

Clarkes and Lexas are supposed to live out their lives without outside interference. In some worlds they know about soulmates, in others they don’t, bu they need to live in their own worlds and timelines. The Observer observes — everything else is considered tampering with how things are supposed to be. So the time limit rule is meant to keep her from influencing other Clarkes and Lexas and from going back to her own world.

So Lexa can’t just jump into Clarke’s world going after Ruby because it might take too long to find her.

Still, they have a name now, thanks to Clarke — Ruby. So they look it up... Only to find out there’s like a thousand Rubys. Obviously they can’t find a ruby needle in a haystack so they try to understand why Ruby would go on a soulmate killing spree. Clarke and Lexa start visiting every world and BONDING and shit.

There’s also some soul searching on Clarke’s behalf because she’s struggling between being sad about Lexa but also mad because once again she was left behind. And Observer Lexa helps her sort through all those feelings, and our Clarke starts maybe developing some feely feels for this Lexa but also feels GUILTY.

And this one time there’s something Lexa says that makes the lightbulb go off in Clarke’s head.

What if Ruby never had a soulmate?

What if there was never someone meant for her in the first place?

Lexa counters with the fact that several iterations of them never even get together, that being someone’s soulmate isn’t binding — there’s still a choice. But, Clarke says — how heartbreaking would it be to never have a choice at all?

You can never make the wrong choice or the right choice. You can never change your mind. And it’s heartbreaking to have that choice ripped away from you.

That’s Ruby. She never had a choice. And, as they find out eventually, she comes from a world where soulmates are a pretty big deal. Upon finding out by accident that there are billions of Clarkes in millions of other worlds who have a Lexa, while she — sue to some crazy glitch of the universes — had that choice taken away from her, her excruciating pain turned into something ugly. And she decided to start killing Clarkes, so Lexas all around other worlds would feel HER pain.

And that’s how Clarke and Lexa realize what was missing: the numbers didn’t add up. The sum of Rubys with living and dead soulmates didn’t match the total number of Rubys — because there was one whose soulmate was neither dead or alive. She never existed in the first place.

So they manage to filter out all the other Rubys and find the right one. Lexa’s intention is to stun and arrest her, but Clarke is a little more practical and just takes a gun.

Before they go, though, Clarke and Lexa have a heart to heart.

At this point, their feelings for each other are too strong to ignore. So before they go, Lexa asks larke to stay with her in the Observatory even after they catch Ruby. Clarke wants to, but she also feels guilty because she’s falling in love with THIS Lexa and it feels like a betrayal of HER Lexa. And she feels like she owes it to HER Lexa to make an effort to survive and build something in their world. So she tells Observer Lexa she can’t, because she can’t run away again like she did when Ruby came to her. She HAS to build humanity back up in her world. She HAS to survive.

And that’s when Lexa — nervous, tentative Lexa — asks:

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?”

So, yes. It’s Lexa 😌

(If you think about it - I didn’t mention it but - she knew which Clarke Clarke is right away. She didn’t ask, the Obervatory didn’t tell her. She just knew who Clarke was. Because Clarke has that scar on her forehead from when Emerson attacked her. And the moment she saw it — she KNEW.)

Lexa didn’t say it before because she knew Clarke would want to stay with her but she didn’t know if there would be any consequences. And if there were and it turned out to be impossible for Clarke to stay, then the heartbreak would have been all the greater, because they’d be losing each other a fourth time.

Anyway, Clexa reconnect and everything is beautiful but they still have a murderous soulmate to catch.

They teleport themselves to a spot close to Ruby. Some fighting ensues, Clarke loses her gun, which ends up in Lexa’s hands, and Ruby ends up pointing her own at Clarke’s pretty head. And Lexa has a double reason not to dire that gun: one, she’s still a grounder and grounders don’t touch Mountain Men weapons; two, she’d be shooting a Clarke for all intents and purposes.

Ruby taunts Lexa about not being able to shoot her, pokes the bear a few times about how she’ll have so much fun killing Clarke — You wouldn’t mind, would you? After all, it’s just another one in a billion —, yada yada.

And then Lexa actually shoots.

And Ruby dies and Clarke runs to Lexa’s arms and Lexa is like, I thought I was over the violence, and Clarke pulls her to meet her eyes: We are now.

Clarke and Lexa go back to the Observatory and Clarke asks if it’s actually safe being there, if she or Lexa won’t be harmed for it. And Lexa tells her she’d been thinking about how everything happens for a reason and maybe, just maybe — maybe this WAS always meant to be their second chance.

(Or third. Or fourth.)

So they stay there and live out their days together traveling between worlds and making a home for themselves in the Observatory. Their maybe someday has arrived at last; they owe nothing more to their people.

#Clexaweek21 #Clexaweek21 Day 3 #Day 3 reunited #reunited #clexaweek #clexaweek2021 #mine #my fics #sorta #all great things

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hmsjiara · 4 years

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always a heart attack away from falling in love (jj + kie)

request by @shaymq7: Hi! I didn’t see an ask box so I hope this okay to submit a promt! I loved your other jiara fic, you nail there characters! I was wondering if you could write something about them revealing their feelings, John B and Sarah are alive but while they were “dead” JJ and Kie got really close and now everyone is back and everyone sees the change in their bond and they get into an argument and end up revealing their feelings?

ahhh this was so fun to write!! as always, i can’t write anything short lol. i hope this is what you wanted, i was going to include all of the pogues perspectives but then i just really liked writing for sarah. thank you so much for the prompt!!

summary: jj and kiara are in love and oblivious, john b and pope are 100% done with their shit, and sarah cameron (for better or worse) decides to play match maker. warning: brief/minor mention of abuse.

read it here on ao3.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! leave me an ask or message me :)

•••

A month ago, Sarah would have given anything to be where she was now: sitting around the fire at the Chateau with the Pogues, John B’s arms wrapped around her as they laughed and listened to JJ tell ghost stories.

And she was thrilled to be back— the three month long chase for the gold in the Bahamas had been exhausting, and she and John B had missed the Pogues so much that it hurt. But they’d done it— they’d found the gold, and returned to the Outer Banks a whole lot richer than when they’d left it. She’d testified to the cops, they all had, and now her dad and brother were being tried on all sorts of charges.

And it was hard, but she was getting through it. With John B’s help, and the Pogues.

There was just one problem: JJ and Kiara.

Well, maybe problem was the incorrect word to use. There was nothing wrong with them, but ever since her and John B had returned and reunited with the group, Sarah had noticed that they were acting... different.

She hadn’t even been friends with the Pogues for that long, so maybe the few whirlwind days of cop chases and treasure hunts weren’t enough to go off of, but Sarah couldn’t just ignore it.

JJ and Kiara were close, she knew that. Kie was close with all of the Pogues, they were her best friends. And Sarah knew that they’d all had a thing for her at some point, that John B had kissed Kiara during their hunt for the gold, but Kie had always insisted that she would never, ever reciprocate their feelings.

Personally, Sarah thought her best friend was full of shit. She’d known them for years— how could she not have feelings for at least one of them?

But she knew that conversation wouldn’t go over well with Kiara— and they were still getting used to being friends again, she didn’t want to rock the boat.

Still, she couldn’t prevent herself from noticing things.

Like how these days, JJ and Kiara were always touching, as if physical contact wasn’t just a want, but a need. It was little things— sitting a little too close on the couch to be normal, knees and shoulders brushing, JJ’s head on Kiara’s shoulder and her running her fingers through his hair. JJ helping Kiara into the boat even though she didn’t need it, grinding on each other at the Boneyard, finding them cuddling on the pullout after falling asleep there the night before.

And it wasn’t like they were trying to hide it. Even now, Kiara was leaning against JJ’s legs, her head on his knee and his fingers braiding her hair as she laughed at whatever Pope was saying.

It was painfully obvious, so how the hell was Sarah supposed to stay quiet?

She cracked when she found them lying in the hammock one day, fingers brushing as they passed a joint between them, an entangled mess of limbs that made it difficult to tell where JJ ended and Kiara began.

She asked Kiara if they could talk, watched as she murmured something in JJ’s ear that Sarah couldn’t hear. He grumbled, wrapping his arms around her waist when she tried to leave, and Kiara was smiling as she forced herself from his grip.

Sarah raised her eyebrows at her as they headed inside the Chateau, but she made sure they were far enough away before she said, “Okay, enough is enough. You. JJ. Spill. And don’t even bother denying it.”

She thought Kiara would deny it, scoff and roll her eyes and say Sarah was being delusional, or too romantic, or any one of her usual deflections. But instead, she froze, her shoulders sagging as if she’d run out of air.

The change in her mood was dramatic enough that Sarah faltered, suddenly regretting bringing it up all together.

“Kie, I’m sorry, I—“

“It doesn’t matter,” Kiara snapped, cutting her off, but she wouldn’t meet Sarah’s gaze. “It’s nothing, I’m not—“

“Kie, please don’t do that,” Sarah sighed, moving towards her, but Kiara took a step back. “Don’t pretend like it’s nothing, we both know that’s a lie. If you would just—“

“What, Sarah? What should I do?” She asked, and Sarah flinched at her sharp tone. Her gaze flicked towards the screen door, and Kiara must have been thinking the same thing she was, because her voice was quieter as she continued. “I’m not going to tell him, I can’t. Don’t bother trying to convince me.”

“But JJ loves you, it wouldn’t be a big deal,” Sarah told her, remembering all the times she’d caught JJ staring at Kiara when she wasn’t looking, the smile on his face when she was telling them a story about sea turtles or rode a wave better than he did, the heat and lust in his eyes whenever she danced with him. “Just tell him the truth.”

“It would be a big deal,” Kiara insisted, hands on her hips and fire in her eyes. “We’ve been best friends for years, Sarah, okay? Do you know how many times I’ve shot him down? It wouldn’t be fair to bring this up now, not when everything’s finally back to normal.”

“Oh, bullshit,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “You’re just scared, Kie. That’s normal.”

“Of course I’m scared,” Kiara hissed, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. Sarah’s heart twinged— fuck, this was worse than she’d thought. Because Kiara didn’t just like JJ. No, this wasn’t some schoolgirl crush, this was the real deal. The I’m in love with you kind of deal. “And don’t you think that I want to tell him? But you don’t get it, Sarah. After you and John B...”

She paused, her gaze darkening like any of the Pogues did when they mentioned Sarah and John B’s disappearance, her bottom lip trembling.

Sarah felt a familiar rush of guilt. They’d tried to think of a way to contact the Pogues for weeks, wanting to keep them safe and protect themselves as well, and they’d eventually decide to send a postcard with a coded message and a burner phone.

Kiara had cried for the entire call, and JJ and Pope hadn’t stopped talking, but none of them had mentioned what it had been like without them. Sarah had avoided asking, not wanting to push, but...

“Kie, what was it like when we were gone?” She asked, careful not to use the word dead. John B had made that mistake once, joking about it, and JJ had left the Chateau and slammed the door behind him without a word. Kiara had apologized to John B on his behalf, followed him out. They’d found them at Rixon’s Cove later, JJ’s hair wet from surfing and Kiara wearing his sweatshirt.

“Sarah, I don’t—“

“You can be honest with me. Please. I want to know—“

“Fine, it was awful!” Kiara screamed, and Sarah didn’t think there was anyway JJ hadn’t heard them by now. So much for being discreet. “We were all mess, we thought you’d died, for God’s sake. Pope was barely around, JJ was getting drunk by noon, beating up Kooks every chance he got. And I...”

She faltered, as if debating whether or not to continue. Kiara had always been like this, she’d noticed. She would be more than happy to help other people with their problems, but when it came to her own? Not so much.

Kiara shook her head, as if forcing herself to pull it together. “I was a mess, too. I could barely sleep, I kept having nightmares. And JJ was the only person who was there for me. We barely spent a minute apart afterward, you know? He’d sit with me for hours at the Wreck, and I stayed at the Chateau every night. You want to know why? Because I was so scared that he would go back to his dad, and that I’d lose him like I lost the two of you. And I can’t— I can’t lose him, Sarah, I—“

She was hyperventilating now, and Sarah wrapped her arms around her as Kiara buried her face in her shoulder, her tears wet against Sarah’s bare skin. She didn’t know what to do except murmur soft words of comfort, and curse herself for bringing it up in the first place. Kiara was right, she didn’t know, and she should have asked before now.

“Hey, is everything okay—“

Of course, JJ chose that moment to enter the house.

Sarah was facing the door, so she got to watch his facial expression change as he realized that Kiara was crying, saw JJ falter, his smile fading.

He was rushing forward in an instant, his gaze concerned but determined, obviously ready to comfort Kie if she needed it, but Kiara was already out of Sarah’s arms, brushing the tears from her cheeks and moving towards the door.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night, guys. See you tomorrow.”

Sarah didn’t mention that it was only eight, or that the Pogues had been planning to go night fishing. She stayed quiet, watching JJ.

“Kie, wait,” he said, catching her by the arm as she walked past him, pulling her close and talking so quietly that Sarah had to strain her ears to hear what he was saying. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, JJ,” she snapped, and Sarah saw Kiara flinch at the harshness of her own voice. God, she was so freaking whipped it was hilarious. “I’m just tired, I want to go home.”

“Fine,” he said, his eyes narrowing even as his shoulders sagged and he raised his hands in surrender. “I’ll come with you, let me just—“

“No,” Kiara said, her tone cold and leaving no room for argument. Sarah wondered if JJ saw through it— probably not, boys were oblivious. “I want to be alone. Don’t follow me.”

With that, she turned and walked out the door.

It was silent as they listened to her car engine start, then the sharp sound of tires against gravel.

JJ‘s muttered fuck was quiet as he ripped his hat from his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn’t look at Sarah, grabbing two beers from the fridge and collapsing onto the couch. He turned on the tv, offered her the second beer after tearing the cap off with his teeth, and Sarah took it as a invitation, sitting down beside him.

It took her a few minutes to gather up the courage to say something. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he said, and while he didn’t sound angry with her, she knew there was no point in pushing it. She hadn’t known JJ for long, but she had already picked up on his dislike for being backed into a corner, literally and metaphorically. Kiara was the only person who could get away with it, or John B, but ever since they’d returned from the Bahamas it was no question who JJ was leaning towards more.

Screw staying out of it— Sarah was done watching her friends be miserable over each other.

She was going to do something about it.

•••

Their plan for finding the gold had flaws, that was undeniable. But, she had learned that the first aspect of any mission, no matter subject or scale, was reconnaissance.

So, Sarah did her research. First step: observation.

She didn’t push the matter with Kiara or JJ, and after a few awkward, clipped reactions, things were back to normal between them. Which was good; she already had enough work to do.

Sarah had been watching them before, but now she was paying attention. She noticed how JJ gravitated towards Kiara in any situation, the warmth and love that appeared on his face whenever she ranted about climate change, how when Kiara was dancing with a Kook at a Boneyard party he didn’t take his eyes off of them for the entire night, ignored the girls who were trying to talk to him.

JJ was obvious, but Kiara was a little more subtle. She laughed at his jokes, but JJ was funny, so that wasn’t that incriminating. She got pissed when JJ rode his bike without a helmet, but that was undeniably irresponsible, so it didn’t say much on its own. But Sarah learned that you had to read between the lines, which was new, because Kiara was typically an open book.

Rafe corners her at a party one night, out on bail, somehow having slipped his police detail. Kiara holds her own, slaps him across the face when he calls her a slut. But JJ is JJ, of course, so when Rafe shoves Kiara in retaliation, he makes good on his prior threat and punches him in the throat. Honestly, Sarah doesn’t know how he managed to move that fast— it was like he appeared out of thin air the moment Kiara screamed.

It was after, though, when she saw it— when John B and Pope had fallen asleep and she got out of bed to get a glass of water and found them sitting next to each on the porch. They were speaking too quietly for her to hear, but Kiara was bandaging JJ’s bruises hand with the kind of care Sarah had only seen her use on baby sea turtles before. She was wearing a crop top, and JJ’s gaze kept flicking to the bruises on her stomach from when Rafe had shoved her into the bar cart.

His hand hovered over the marks, and then Kiara nodded at him, as if giving him permission, and his fingers were brushing over them with a level of tenderness that Sarah knew JJ only showed a handful of people.

She left after that, because it felt like she was intruding, but Sarah had her evidence. Time for step two.

•••

The first person she questioned was John B, but he was no help.

She asked him if he’d noticed how different things were between JJ and Kie, and he just shrugged, said he’d noticed but that it was best to let them work it out on their own.

Pope, to her surprise, took less convincing.

“Wait, you and Kiara kissed?”

Apparently, Kiara had left more than a few key details out when she’d filled Sarah in on what happened while she was gone.

“Yep,” Pope said, nodding as he rung something up at the cash register. Sarah had caught him between shifts, insisted that she had something important to ask him. “After we sent John B off in the Phantom. I’d told her I loved her, but... well, it obviously didn’t work out, so.”

He didn’t sound bitter, so she decided it was okay to continue. “So... that’s why her and JJ aren’t together? Because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Kie and I talked it out— we’re good. We just want different things, you know?”

He seemed unreasonably cool with it, and Sarah recalled Kiara telling her about a girl he’d met at his internship at the hospital. She was happy for him, Pope deserved it.

“Okay, great,” Sarah said, grinning at him. “So, JJ and Kie. I was thinking—“

“Oh, no,” Pope said, interrupting her. “I’m not getting involved with that. They can figure out their own shit, they don’t need our help.”

“So you have noticed,” she said, ignoring the second part of what he’d said.

“Of course,” Pope scoffed, rolling his eyes. “They’re not exactly subtle. But this is JJ we’re talking about— he’s been flirting with Kiara since the eighth grade, and she just kept rejecting him. He’s not gonna believe that she likes him until she tells him. Besides, Sarah, do you really want to get between those two idiots?”

Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “I can’t just do nothing. They’re gonna explode eventually, I can tell.”

“Exactly,” Pope said, giving her a look. “And you don’t want to be around them when it does.”

•••

The explosion happens sooner than Sarah thought it would.

John B and Pope are standing in the driveway when she arrives at the Chateau, like dogs who have been sent out to the yard. There’s screaming coming from inside the house— it’s mostly Kiara, but she can hear JJ’s voice too.

“What‘s going on?” Sarah demanded as she shut her car door and approached the boys, eyes wide as she glanced at the Chateau.

“It’s John B’s fault,” Pope informed her, cringing as Kiara’s voice started to rise in volume again. “He let it slip that JJ went back home, and then Kiara saw the bruises on his neck, and well...”

He trailed off, gesturing towards the Chateau with a helpless expression.

“So you’re just letting them go at it?” She asked, scowling at them. John B flinched a little, like he always did when she got mad. “They’ll kill each other!”

Pope shrugged. “Arguing can be a turn-on for some people. Maybe they’ll fuck instead and put us all out of our misery.”

“Pope, no,” Sarah hissed, though she did think he might have a point. “I have a plan— they’re ruining it.”

At that moment, the porch door slammed against it’s hinges, and JJ appeared, fists clenched at his sides and his face lined with a bitter combination of anger and guilt.

The source of his anxiety was right behind him. Kiara was in rare form: eyes flashing, hands on her hips, screaming at JJ to come back here.

If it had been anyone other than JJ, Sarah was sure they would have caved by now. Kiara was scary when she was angry.

“JJ, I’m talking to you!” Kiara screamed, kicking up dust as she stormed towards him. “Listen to me, for God’s sake!”

But JJ didn’t turn around, palming the keys to his bike and mounting it. Sarah saw him glance at the helmet on the back, as if contemplating whether wearing it would lessen Kiara’s fury. He didn’t pick it up.

“JJ, I swear to God if you—“

JJ revved the engine, drowning out the sound of Kiara’s voice. Sarah could see the tears in her eyes, how badly she was trembling. She was angry, but there was fear there too, and that’s when she saw the bruises on JJ’s neck, his split lip. Shit.

Kiara tried to say something else, but JJ cut her off. “What do you want me to do, Kiara? It’s my house, he’s my dad. I can’t just leave!”

“Yes, you can,” Kiara insisted, her anger fading, as if she was trying to get JJ to listen to her. “You can stay with John B, or Pope, or me. I’ll talk to my parents—“

“Your parents don’t want me within five feet of you,” JJ reminded her, something dark and bitter entering his gaze at the thought. “I’m not putting this on you, Kie. End of discussion.”

He put his foot on the gas pedal, but Kiara was standing in front of the bike, hands on her hips and a determined expression on her face.

“Kie, get out of the way,” he said, glaring at her, but Sarah still saw that his hands were shaking. “I’m done talking about this.”

“Well I’m not,” she snapped. “I’m sick of this, JJ! I’m sick of worrying about you, I can’t—“

“Why do you even care, Kie?” JJ shouted, and Sarah winced. Oh, he really had no idea, did he?

She didn’t expect Kiara to tell him the truth, but then—

“Because I’m in love with you!” She screamed, her eyes brimming with tears as the words passed her lips.

Sarah held in a squeal as JJ froze, his foot leaving the gas pedal as he raised his head to look at Kiara.

“What?” He asked, as if he hadn’t understood her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air.

Sarah thought Kiara would stay quiet, or take it back, but her voice was firm and unwavering when she said, “I’m in love with you, JJ. And I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself, I can’t lose—“

But then Kiara stopped talking, because JJ’s lips were pressed against her, and she seemed to have more important things to do as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging at it, and John B wolf-whistled while Pope yelled at them to get a room.

Sarah just grinned. Pope had been right, she realized. JJ and Kiara hadn’t needed her help, it had just taken a screaming match for them to finally get their heads out of their asses. Go figure.

She’d thought it would be weird, different, seeing JJ and Kie like this. But it was the exact opposite— the look in JJ’s eyes when he stared at her was the same, and Kiara was shoving him in the shoulder and burying her face in the crook of his neck after he said something predictably idiotic. It wasn’t different, it was just them, JJ and Kie.

As they made their way over to Sarah and the boys, Kiara slid her hands into JJ’s, and she smiled at the identical grins on their faces.

Mission accomplished.

#outer banks #obx #jiara #jj x kiara #jiara fic #jiara fanfiction #jj maybank #kiara carrera #sarah cameron #pope heyward #john b #my writing

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

Note

Let me start by saying that I love all of your meta and analysis soooo much especially the ones about Ozpin. I was curious to hear what what do you think are some legit motally grey things/mistakes he did, not the garbage the haters love to throw around. The only things I can think of are either in an impossible situation with only shitty options (where I don't really consider the decisions as immoral since morality needs agency and the chance of a better choice) like with Pyrrha and Oscar (1/2)

Thank you, anon! And honestly? I couldn’t agree more. I often say that Ozpin has made mistakes partly so that people don’t blow off the points I’m trying to make with, “Oh an Ozpin stan. Ignore her, she thinks he can do no wrong and thus can’t provide an objective opinion.” But honestly? Not all mistakes are created equal. There are mistakes one makes because they’re selfish, foolish, didn’t bother to take precautions---things that are preventable and therefore invite heavy criticism and an acknowledgment of responsibility. However, there are also mistakes that, as you say, are simply outside of your control. You don’t have the information available to make an informed and therefore better choice, or you simply just have bad choices from the get-go. For me, the vast majority of Ozpin’s mistakes are the latter.

Overall, I think the largest mistake he bears responsibility for is prioritizing his love for Salem over basic ethics. AKA, choosing to become a wannabe god with her and encouraging this mentality that they are intrinsically superior to everyone else in Remnant. Granted, there are many other factors involved in this, including Salem’s status as a creature now consumed by darkness (she was heading down this road no matter what Ozpin may have done differently) as well as her abuse towards Ozpin, her manipulation, and the sheer overwhelming terror of the goal Light set him. Which just reinforces that all Ozpin’s mistakes are understandable to one extent or another. He’s human and his mistakes resonate because, if people are honest with themselves, they’d probably admit, “Yeah. If I found the love of my life again I’d be tempted to ignore Light’s warning about her too. If I was offered a life of luxury and power under the guise of protecting the people, I might cave and go along with that as well...” We get how Ozpin got to that point, we may admit we couldn’t have done better, but we likewise understand that the man he became, regardless of how he got there---from natural human desires to abuse---isn’t okay. As Oz and his host ask themselves, “What are we doing?” And we see how he comes back from that edge. How he rejects that sort of power later when it’s offered to him after the Kingdoms were reunited. Ozpin learned from his mistakes.

Which adds further complications to his choices in the present day. Just as Ozpin learned that the world doesn’t need him as an all-powerful figurehead, he likewise learned that sharing secrets leads to nothing but the worst kind of consequences. The first time he reveals what he’s hiding? His wife announces that she’s going to take over the world, then murders their children, then him. A more recent time he reveals information? A very close friend betrays him to said wife. Tries to kill him. Nearly kills his allies. Is eventually killed himself. The latest time he was forced to reveal information? People are shouting, grieving, he’s punched into a tree, the one friend still at his side completely rejects him.

The fandom points to Ozpin’s lies and secret keeping among the group as his greatest mistakes and yes, objectively I agree. Without context I can say no, he shouldn’t have made a promise if he didn’t intend to keep it. He should have just told them that there were questions left, or that the relic attracted grimm. But the thing is that context is there and it always matters. I’ve spoken before about how I think Ozpin made that promise with precisely zero expectation that he’d ever be put into a situation where he might conceivably break it, that I’d also hesitate to tell a group that there were invaluable questions left when they were clearly eager to use them recklessly (which they then did), and that keeping the grimm aspect secret was the only logical course of action because telling them would just attract more. But even ignoring all of the potential justifications attached to each choice, I simply don’t believe we can ignore Ozpin’s trauma. I might not have lied to people like that, but I haven’t been horrifically traumatized for a thousand years whenever I do tell someone information. Ozpin has been conditioned not to tell people and though yes, everyone technically has free will, trauma like that will “force” you to take what you perceive as the only safe option. It fucks with your perception and your understanding of what even is an option in this situation. Ozpin simply no longer has the ability to go, “I’ll trust them!” like the others around him do and their reactions certainly didn’t help teach him otherwise. Imagine that for a thousand years you’re punched every time someone lifts their hand. Then someone you’ve just met demands that you stop flinching whenever they raise theirs. No matter how much you may want to stop, you can’t. Not immediately on someone else’s order. The human experience doesn’t work that way.

(As a side note, the reason why I emphasize a thousand years so much is because I believe the extent of the trauma and its implied consistency is really relevant here. As is the close tie between that trauma and Ozpin’s choices. There are many other characters out there who I don’t believe “But they had a hard life!” excuses their actions: Snape, Bakugo, recently what I’ve read of Yennefer---among others. It’s notable to me that Ozpin didn’t endure traumatic events by revealing information and then, say, go abuse his students for years. Or tell someone to kill themselves. Or take over someone else’s mind. Not only is his trauma more extensive than the vast majority of characters we meet, but he hasn’t used that trauma as an excuse to get away with horrific---and unrelated---choices. The love of my life rejected me and then died... so I’m going to abuse eleven-year olds under my care. My mom is demanding and people cater to me too much... so I’m going to gleefully beat up my weakest classmate. I dealt with being ugly for a good chunk of my life and now can’t have kids... so I’m going to take away someone’s autonomy and endanger a whole town. Unlike most other characters with tragic backstories, Ozpin has a one-to-one correlation between that hard life and the mistakes he’s made: people hurt me when I tell them things... so I just won’t tell them things. By keeping that strong connection it eliminates the possibility that Ozpin is just using his trauma as an excuse (knowingly or otherwise) and he is, notably, still a good person beyond those very specific choices. We see his horror at the decisions he has to make. We see his endless attempts to be as kind towards others as possible. We see how much he’s fought not to allow his trauma to warp him into a person he’d despise. A person like Salem. Just like not all mistakes are created equal, for me not all people making mistakes are equal either. I’m less likely to forgive your mistakes if you’re an all around horrible person. You’re clearly a good person trying your best? Your mistakes are easier to stomach and, as discussed above, I’m more inclined to assume that these mistakes stem from things outside of your control. If someone who has been nothing but cruel to me lied I’d automatically be pissed. If someone who has been nothing but kind to me lied, I’m inclined to ask them why they did that, expecting that there’s a good reason attached to that decision.)

So did Ozpin make mistakes? Technically yes, but I think they were mistakes largely outside of his control. Either he only had shit options available to him or he was in a position where the group demanded something of him that his mental health simply wouldn’t allow. People have to remember that we’re not Ozpin (insert obligatory, “He’s fictional” here). We have more options available to us when it comes to our choices, simply by means of not having gone through what he has. His choices are always limited, both by outside factors and his own experiences, and they likewise always have inevitable downsides. Ozpin doesn’t get the luxury of choosing anything that turns out well.

As a final note, with Volume 7 underway I’d say that another potential mistake has been introduced: making Pyrrha the Fall Maiden. Meaning, unless the story reveals that Winter actually can’t become the next Winter Maiden due to her age (unlikely given that others have said the non-canonical age limit is 30), it raises the question of why he’d choose a 17 year old over a 20-some graduate. However, to me this is pretty clearly a writing issue. The creators were more concerned with keeping the story revolved around RWBYJNR than they were the implications of having Ozpin choose Pyrrha over a more suitable adult. So though yes, I’d technically consider that another mistake.... obviously not much Ozpin could do against his own creators lol.

Which finally leads to me saying that although Rooster Teeth seems to want us to believe that Ozpin is a morally gray character, they haven’t succeeded in writing one well. That characterization requires a fair balance between what most would consider “good” and “bad” traits. Not a good person presented with only bad choices. Or a character so horrifically conditioned that his ability to make a better decision is almost impossible. We wouldn’t call a person who was manipulated or forced into doing bad things a morally gray character, nor would we use that term if, somehow, they were sick and that led to those choices. That’s how I view Ozpin, mentally as opposed to physically sick. After a thousand years he needs evidence that trusting people and giving them his secrets won’t result in him being hurt. Until he’s shown that, expecting him to trust people just because they insist they are trustworthy is like asking someone with a broken leg to run you a race. They can try, but good look expecting them to succeed.

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #long post #mymetas #Anonymous

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theangry-ace · 6 years

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currently playing: Ken ga Kimi

update 5

time for our resident haraguro(?) boi, Sakyo. tbh I’m not looking forward for his route at all bc I am absolutely fucking scared of anything close to yan. my kokoro is not strong enough for them. but I do like Sakyo in the drama cds, especially the momoyo tsuzuri one. he’s like the most gentle boi with a tendency to tease Kayo or anyone else, whether or not that’s what he intended to do or not.

WARNING: THIS BOI BROKE ME PLS HELP

so our boi Sakyo has two kind of face; one, the ‘normal’, a bit formal and proper personality he showed to others. the other is the 100% enraged, I-will-kill-you-slowly-bc-I-wanna-enjoy-killing-you type of thing. he has a bit of an anger issue as well that he does exactly nothing to hide if ppl mentioned them. his purpose in life is only to exact the revenge of some oni who attacked and murdered his entire family. Sakyo mentioned in the common route that he didn’t trust (or don’t like) Enishi and Suzukake. I suppose he didn’t like ppl who didn’t seem to be dependable.

after the whole merry joyride to Sunpu, Sakyo went to some cave which was rumored to gather a heck load of oni trying to do... something? IDK. but they had already cleared the cave and was on the way to Edo. back in Edo, Kayo’s dad put up a banquet for the six samurai who had been protecting his precious baby girl but Sakyo didn’t manage to be present. he was instead busy in his pursuit for Zantetsu, one of the oni who killed entire family. but unfortunately, Sakyo walked right into a trap and was surrounded by oni and he got away with a terrible wound on his arm (I don’t remember which but he did say it’s no biggie bc he use his sword in another). it was night when Kayo saw Yanohiko, a neighboring kid, was wandering around saying he was getting some water for a wounded samurai. after Kayo realized it was Sakyo, she took him to her room and somehow managed to hide a whole person for a long time in her own fucking room without her dad even noticed!!! what the heck dad like i respect that u respect ur baby girl’s privacy but a wHOLE GROWN ASS PERSON!!! IN UR FUCKING HOUSE!!! FOR MANY DAYS!!!!

and so while living incognito in a girl’s room, Yanohiko came by as well to play with Sakyo. dude is actually not 24/7 angry or thinking about revenge. he is quite gentle with Yanohiko and taught the boy to write and play goma (spinning top?). there is one goddamn funny scene when Kayo’s dad suddenly wanna talk with her and there’s nowhere to hide Sakyo so she shoved him into her futon and get in with him with his goddamn face between her legs lol. STILL THE DAD DIDN’T FUCKING NOTICE???? welp. eventually Sakyo heard about Zantetsu going to enter the tourney that was going to take place and he took off without telling Kayo, leaving her having to lie to Yanohiko whenever the boy asked for him. she managed to find him later when he was trying to get his family’s treasured sword, Hotarumaru, to be fixed/sharpened by a famous fixer(?). he was refused, though, for obvious reason that Sakyo just wanted to kill with his sword.

Kayo shared this with Suzukake who had been supplying her with the medicine for Sakyo and my son said he, too, gonna join the tourney. so she and Suzukake went to the tourney together to see Sakyo. they heard about Zantetsu (lol Suzu called him ojisan) being a merciless opponent and got worried when later Sakyo was to fight him. Sakyo showed some... I think some kind of arrest warrant or written right for him to ask for a duel to the death, for killing his father, mother and elder sister?? or something?? but since Sakyo having his arm still injured and his sword not fixed, he lost the match terribly. Suzukake and Kayo wanna see him at the back room where he was taken but got refused bc Sakyo was ‘desecrating the holy tourney ground with his selfish need to exact his revenge’ or something. Sakyo was to be dumped into jail but Enishi came by and after some ‘talking’ (remember; he is actually some big shot in the Edo castle), he promised that he will make sure Sakyo will be taken care of and would not be in jail.

Kimi -nice end-

all thanks to strings pulled by Enishi, Sakyo is free from being jailed. he met Kayo to tell her everything about his tragic past. when he was a kid (8yo I think), he had a terrible fever and was bedridden. this coincidentally made him hidden from a murdering oni who came for the entire Sagihara family, who he explained was the descendant of those who forged the Five Heavenly Swords. I could not get why the Sagiharas were killed, but Sakyo survived thanks to his nurse maid and incidentally inherited his family’s heirloom, the Hotarumaru. from the age of 12, he strive to become a samurai and would eventually hunt every oni he could find, but because Sakyo was defeated by Zantetsu in the tourney, Sakyo didn’t feel like he is worthy of such pride of his family’s name. he left it in a cave and determined to carry on life no longer as a samurai. Kayo, after hearing all these, understands the whole dilemma the dude is in, but she told him it’s not reason enough to leave behind what was precious to the memory of his family. convinced by her words, Sakyo and Kayo made their way to the cave where he left Hotarumaru and retrieve it. when he unsheathe it then, glowing orbs of light filled the dark cave like a real firefly. Sakyo was so ashamed that he almost abandoned the sword there and from then vowed to always carry it with him as if he was carrying his family on his shoulders. Kayo later convinced the sword fixer/sharpener(?) person to fix Hotarumaru.

after getting his sword back, he told Kayo he couldn’t let Zantetsu’s sin towards his family to go free so he left her one night with a letter he told her to open if he never returned. while he went for his supposed one-on-one duel, Kayo just can’t sit still waiting for Sakyo to come back. she went to follow him but met Kei on the way of his patrol. buddy told her to stay home while he grab some of his pals to help Sakyo. those pals turned out to be the rest of them samurai who went to Sunpu the other day! thankfully for that, Sakyo was saved by an ambush planned by Zantetsu. Tsuzumi was there as well as he was threatened with Nanae’s life he didn’t cooperate. in the end, Zantetsu is finally dead and Sakyo could then rest easy the revenge he was living for has ended.

in the after story, Sakyo married Kayo with the five samurai buddies became her real bridal escort procession to Sakyo’s home country of Yamashiro.

Kimi -another nice end-

not that different than the previous ending, but Kayo was there with her naginata to help with Sakyo instead of staying home. fortunately, she arrived when Zantetsu got done dead. later there was news regarding Sakyo wanting to return back to his home country and probably will not coming back, and everyone knew about Kayo’s relationship with Sakyo. they all asked if she’s going with him, or why she’s unbothered about him going away, but baby girl really didn’t know how to react. sure, they’re lovers, but Sakyo never told her what he planned to do in the future, or whether or not that involved her at all.

Kayo held another feast for her samurai friends and also doubles as a farewell to Sakyo but the dude came late and has no idea why ppl giving him a farewell party. Kayo noticed him looking angry and restless seeing how close the other samurai dudes with her. Sakyo later couldn’t sit still anymore and pulled her to talk alone. there he told her he has no plan on going home aside from a short trip to visit his family’s grave, and that he planned to open up a free shrine school (kinda like a private but small informal school) for kids like Yanohiko who got orphaned and not privileged enough for a basic education. Sakyo and Kayo promised to marry each other soon.

Ken -too terrible what the heck end-

Kayo still tried to convince Sakyo from acting on his revenge against Zantetsu. Sakyo got annoyed and angry bc of this, that he assaulted Kayo to show how much of a terrible guy he is in actuality. he part ways with her and supposedly never to see her again, but he found himself led by a mysterious force to a cave where the whole shits of Asakura trying to reincarnate Tadanaga. there was nothing there but an ominous looking sword called the Muramasa. Sakyo took it after hearing a woman’s ghostly voice lamenting about her unborn child. he immediately thought the ghost to be his dead sister who had returned to the Sagihara family due to her getting pregnant and wanted to stay close to her parents during the whole pre-natal care.

however unknown to Sakyo, it was a malevolent evil spirit which was leading him to find Zantetsu to murder him. he got drunk with the pleasure to kill and didn’t stop at just one person. he managed to kill 10 ppl in one night at Yoshiwara alone, and he wasn’t stopping anytime soon. Kayo actually met with Sakyo before going on his murdering rampage and he told her he had thrown away his Hotarumaru in a lake bc the evil spirits in Muramasa told him to. there was no doubt that the madman who was killing people in the night was Sakyo, the man that she loved. she asked the help of her samurai friends to stop Sakyo but things got much worst when Yanohiko became his victim. the boy just wanted to show Sakyo his spinning top.

eventually they figured out about the evil sword and thought they’d better try to separate Sakyo from it or kill him entirely. they went to the lake where Kayo heard Sakyo said he dumped Hotarumaru, thinking if there’s any humanity left in him, he might want to reunited with his family’s heirloom. unfortunately, in his clouded mind, Sakyo heavily injured Kayo and she succumbed to the wound despite whatever Suzukake tried to do. Sakyo decided to kill himself in a cave with some kind of explosive.

they met in the afterlife and thought to cross the Sanzu river together to... Heaven? but the evil sword reminded Sakyo how much of a sin he had committed, and that he belongs to Hell. Kayo decided to fall to the endless abyss with Sakyo for eternity. this is a terrible ending I hate it.

Ken -just as terrible end-

Kayo managed to stop Sakyo from killing Yanohiko but the dude fled after realizing what he was trying to do. Kayo figured out that he needed to be reunited with Hotarumaru so she went to the lake where he dumped it. Sakyo was there, but he has already made up his mind that nothing he could do would ever atone his sins so he jumped into the lake. Kayo follow suit and they woke up in the afterlife. they tried to cross the Sanzu river but Sakyo stopped halfway saying there’s a lot of angry ppl on the other side, not gonna let him into Heaven. they were the innocent lives he had murdered before. Kayo, on the other hand, didn’t see the angry souls but instead heard some familiar voices calling for her. Sakyo guessed it must have been her loved ones in the living world. he told her to follow the voice and lived a happy life for his behalf. Kayo woke up again surrounded by her panicky dad and her friends. they told her she was floating by the lake, but Sakyo’s body was nowhere to be seen.

the epilogue has Kayo wanting to pay respect to Sakyo’s victim’s graves.

HOOOO BOY I SURE AS FUCK DIDN’T ENJOY THESE KEN ROUTES ONE BIT WHO THE FUCK WROTE THEM I WANT TO SUE FOR THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGES THEY DIDDDD!!! I’M BROKEN, YOU KNOW!!! THEY SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST HAVE ONE OF THEM WITH SAKYO IS ALIVE BUT HAD TO FACE HIS SINS I KNOW THAT’S NOT A BETTER END BUT AT LEAST BOI IS ALIVE AND KAYO DIDN’T HAVE TO BE SAD WHAT THE HECK THESE ARE TERRIBLE ENDINGS I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMM

*inhale, exhale*

well at least I like that in Sakyo’s four routes, the roles of the other samurai dudes are quite prominent. it’s nice to see the whole stupid scene with Tsuzu and Suzu arguing about the other stealing the food, Enishi teasing Saneaki that he can’t drink, also Kei the tsukkomi lol that was a nice scene.

FINALLY!!! now I get to my baby son, Suzukake!!!! I’ve actually half cleared his route before but didn’t see the ending yet. I SURE AS FLYING FUCKERY SHIT WILL NOT BE READY FOR THE ROUTE WHICH MY SON DIE!!!! probably I would skip it....

#ken ga kimi #ending spoilers #hello police pls arrest this game it made me sad

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moonprincess92 · 7 years

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the obligatory rebelcaptain x-files au

@operaticspacetrash i may have made a post about it already, bUT

- I imagine this au constantly, but I don’t want it to be an exact carbon copy of txf with just different character names, SO i imagine this takes place modern day, not the 90s (sorry 90s lol).

- I feel like Jyn would be the Mulder, since she seems a bit more in tune with her faith, a bit more rule-breaking and has less of a regard for herself.

- Her mother is still alive I think in this universe, but her father disappeared when she was eight and ever since, she has been convinced that he was abducted by aliens.

- the Erso’s are originally from England but immigrated to USA when jyn was young. she went to university, eventually, joined the FBI.

- She’s known for being a bit unpredictable. She has a hard exterior, has had to look out for herself for many years, and comes off as prickly. She’s also fierce though, dedicate to the job, and at least people can appreciate that about her. Sure, sometimes rumours go around saying that she’s crazy and worships the occult or that she believes in aliens or something, but she’s typically a respected cop.

- She finds the x-files. Hidden away in the basement one day, she realises that there’s answers out there, that her father’s disappearance could be explained. She asks to be assigned there and the higher ups say yes just to stop her from going on about it

- bUUT they don’t count on her dedicating her life to it OH SHIT. She starts to dig through files, take on cases they’d usually throw out the door. She starts to peice together the truth and they don’t like it.

- ENTER SPECIAL AGENT CASSIAN ANDOR, YALL

- Cassian is straight-laced. He’s proud to be a part of the FBI because they try and help make the world a better place. Sometimes you have to do questionable things, but it’s all worth it right?

- idk I think he would suit being the Scully here, since he’s more by the book, does whatever authority tells him to do etc (UNTIL HE DOESN’T, but we’ll get to that lol)

- so he’s assigned to the x files to reign Jyn in, question the validity of her work etc.

- Is Krennic the cigarette-smoking-man???????

- omg and Mothma as skinner!!!!! like Draven would also suit that role, but imagine MOTHMA AS SKINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Cassian and Jyn meet and naturally it’s an instant connection, he thinks she’s nuts and is gonna get them killed, but she’s genuine and there’s real work here to be done. She thinks he’s a spy, knows he’s there to shut her down but lets face it, they fall in love instead and eVERYTHING IS AMAZING!!!!

- Baze and Chirrut are totally the Lone Gunmen holy shit

- Bodhi is just Bodhi in this au, Jyn’s best friend who she met at uni. He becomes a kind of ally, definitely would believe in everything they ever come across. Maybe he’s a journalist and gets mixed up in the media conspiracies every now and then??? he and Cassian get along and Bodhi TOOOOTALLY ships it!

- Luke is definitely a part of some kind of ‘Abductees Anonymous’ club LOLOLOL

- the plot is kinda all about being assigned a case, only it somehow manages to have a connection to her father’s disappearance

- ALL THE CONSPIRACIES AND SHADY GOVERNMENT, basically Galen was in on the whole alien colonisation plan but opposed it when he realised the gravity of what it meant and tried to #expose them

- SO THEY GOT THE ALIENS TO TAKE HIM AWAY (lets keep this simple and not pull a chris carter yo)

- Cassian and Jyn work together to find her father, loads of UST and gazing, mAYBE CASSIAN GETS ADBUCTED O SHIT

- and it’s an amazing fufilling plot full of aliens and eventually they find her father along with a bunch of other abductees one of whom is possibly a little 8 year old girl called sAManThA O YES I FUCKIN WENT THERE

- IMAGINE JYN FINDING THIS LITTLE GIRL WHO’S THE SAME AGE SHE WAS WHEN SHE LOST HER FATHER AND ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS GO HOME AND SHE MANAGES TO REUNITE THIS GIRL WITH HER LONG-LOST BROTHER WHO NEVER EVER GAVE UP ON HER AND OH LOOK I JUST MADE MYSELF CRY

- anyway

- and there’s lot of sex because lets face it if there was anything that would have made the x files better, it was 100000% more sex

- and scene

- (..........plus sequels where they solve other kooky cases and eventually save the world from alien colonisation)

#rebelcaptain #rebelcaptain au #ro #txf #this has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever written?????#but DANG considering how much txf means to me i think about this way too often lol #long post #i couldn't figure out how to bring han and leia into it so feel free to add on hahaha

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gray-anxiety · 5 years

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No Sympathy Facts/ the chaos of my brain

I kept forgetting the damn name

Legit

Like “No… no wHAT????? Oh”

Aella is a name associated with storms and wind, so I gave her that name because I wanted someone who really did embody that

I kept wanting to spell Aella’s name allen smh

This book started when i finally got off my ass and convinced myself to do a mafia au. The entire plot was pulled out of my ass in a period of brainstorming that kept me up until 5:30 the next morning

I actually sketched out the apartment’s layout so I could see it better.

later I actually designed a messy version of what it’d somewhat be like in the sims

Karanese is actually a district in the Attack on Titan universe :)

Each chapter takes me like 2 hours to write simply because I play out each and every ending in my head and choose the best one I’d want to see in a story

Other times I legit just have a feeling like I absolutely know how a chapter plays out like Chapter 3’s murder fight scene. It just came to me and all I had to do was describe it like I had just watched a movie

Chapter one took a total of seven hours to write

The plot twists were created when I asked myself what cliche can I change?

(Except I kept a few just to make fun of it I.E. roommates and badboy x nerdy character because that shit is hilarious and can really show the dynamic of how different each character really is)

Chapter two bore me to death to be honest

An actual example of my brainstorming while writing down facts:

I have no idea what the fuck to do after chapter 3 help

I pretty much said fuck it to planning out a plot and just wung it

Where am I gonna place Hange and the others

What about Eren lol

OH SHIT I JUST HAD THE IDEA THAT HANGE AND AELLA WERE FRIENDS BEFORE AELLA WAS KICKED OUT AOUFHALIUEHFALIUEHF

THEY’D TOTALLY BE LESBIANS FOR EACH OTHER

How’d you come up with the name for No Sympathy?

hilarious answer, actually. I spent two damn hours laying on my bed googling “what’s your mafia nickname” to just messing around with broken languages on google translate until it just popped in my head. Pretty much I was like “oh shit that sounds lit and fearsome lets do it bois” and yeah

I’m actually making this list of fun facts while writing each chapter. I’m going to start working on chapter 4 tomorrow and hopefully get my shit together to make a somewhat good plot??

Lmao I lied I got really fucking lazy and wrote the chapter at 11 at night and published it at midnight

I wrote everything about no sympathy in one iCloud note and titled it “No sympathy; the complete chaos of making a book”

The true main character of No Sympathy is actually Levi since I feel like I understand him completely since I relate to him so much; making Levi the easiest character I’ve written about ever. Though, his true character (in my opinion) doesn’t necessarily shine through in the beginning chapters as Levi don’t get along with new people, but you can see him warm up to Aella by doing her homework, dragging her out of the party, etc.

I’ve realized I have a distinct writing pattern while writing No Sympathy: comma, semi-colon, double dash. (Chapters two and three really showcase it as I wrote those two back to back in the car)

Had I actually had the inspiration and the motivation to write this almost a year ago, I would’ve been writing about the mafia at 13, which is an absolute hilarious thought to think about when I look back to my previous fanfics. Then again, my dumbass 14-year-old self is just as clingy as my dumbass 13-year-old self lmaoo

I gave Aella the same birth day (not year lmao) as mine (September 10) so she’d be 17 during the first month of school and 18 for the rest of the book

Going off of that fact, Levi is exactly 1 year and 8 months older than Aella (I kept his original birthday)

My cat demanded that I gave him cuddles and attention so I had to stop writing for one entire day because he wanted cuddles

Normally my cat just lays on my chest while I write b u t n o he wanted cuddles

If Levi never came into the picture Aella would probably date Hanji (for all of those fellow LGBTQIA+ readers and readers that really love Hanji)

While writing chapter 1 I listened to Ghost by Halsey on repeat and I think if you read while playing the exact song it somewhat shows in the pace I set for readers.

The term ‘block class’ is actually derived from what my own high school (even though I’m not even fully considered a freshman yet jfc) uses when referring to a 90 minute class

The book Technically begins on a Saturday with Levi — the actual power duo meet that Monday (because unlike dumbass schools in real life, their first day of school was on a Monday instead of the Friday before.) on their first day. That Tuesday was chapter 4, Wednesday being chapter 5, Thursday being chapter 6 (we skip Friday because it doesn’t fucking matter in the story lmao), and Saturday being the day of the party.

Writing an x reader but without the reader was really fucking hard, honestly. I couldn’t just randomly say ‘Levi looked over at the H/C girl working on her homework across from him’ as it’d just be weird, so I thought of the next best thing and never described Aella — making her free for interpretation of her looks.

I was going to have Aella have a name reveal like ‘my real name is Y/N…’ but then I was like “No what? Fuck it. Levi already knew from the beginning after looking at her documents.”

No Sympathy was actually going to be an original story, but Levi’s character fit so well I decided to make it a fanfic.

I actually wanted to stop writing after chapter 3 because I didn’t know what to do with the plot, but I asked my friend for help coming up with the plot using the paragraphs of ideas I had to make an actual plot. So, I can successfully say I owe it to her for helping and the one sentence that kept me going in my head: “I want to make a story I’m proud of.” So I fucked up my (nonexistent, really lmao) sleeping and eating schedules and started working on this book everyday even when I didn’t post a chapter that day.

Though, it’s not really specified in the early chapters, Aella was bullied into being hated by the entire school — leaving her to be all alone, which actually happened to me and gave me PTSD after transferring.

Ironically, I gave Aella a ton of reactions and characteristics I would/ just generally have, but I see myself more in Levi, which is probably why I prefer writing about him over Aella.

As of writing this, chapter 5 is currently my favorite chapter as it is a mix of a filler chapter and a regular important chapter still just as important as the rest.

Depression and PTSD actually got in the way of writing so many times I actually am surprised I’ve written so much

As writing has always been my go to for letting out everything (as I have z e r o close friends lmao) I actually don’t realize when I’m done with each chapter until I realize I’m out of ideas for said chapter.

I don’t even realize I write about 2,000 words until it’s like “oh,,”

No Sympathy wasn’t just any fanfic for me, it was like I was actually Aella seeing the entire story unfold from beginning to finish

I tried to push myself to describe more, as I’ve noted while rereading my previous shitty fanfics — I struggled describing everything.

I tried to not have the basic “tch”, “brat”, and just random cursing from Levi unless it was at the exact wrong time (or I just put it in because I could totally see him saying that in said situation)

I tried characterizing Hanji as someone who wasn’t the basic overexcited dumbass most fanfics portray her as — instead I tried thinking of her as an actual person with reactions and different moods and tried to embody that each time I wrote her

Character development is a huge thing Ive been trying to work on ever since I wrote A Valkyrie and a Mischievous God (though that character development and story sucked ass and I cringe at how popular it’s gotten), and a huge target for it was none other than Aella. At the beginning you could see she felt trapped in an endless cycle of stress and fending for herself, but when Levi came in and was like “lmao I have money you don’t have to stress” she felt like she was in an odd spot, and eventually after she reunited with Hanji she started to feel more free

Parents were completely cut out of this story because I genuinely don’t know how to write them as mine are either states away by choice or always working, so I just had Aella get kicked out and had her entire family gone.

My best ideas surface at 4 am when I’m trying to fucking sleep

Help me

But hey I now have a new passion for this book

I generally didn’t know how to end it

buT THEN I D I D

A huge thing for me, and my entire driving motion for writing this was a simple sentence: “I want to write something I’m proud of.”

Am I proud of this?

Eh. It’s not shitty, I suppose. I could always do better.

Characterization was so difficult for me. I wanted to stray from basic fanfics of an overly hyper Hange (though, I couldn’t help in some situations, but after watching an entire season and a half in one day, you notice personality changes) and write and more serious one — except I’m a damn shitty author with so many grammatical mistakes my ex-mentor would literally rip her hair out.

Writing a book has always been my goal, and I know this is the only thing that will ever come close to it.

I have another Levi x reader planned, but I always hate doing the basic ‘_____’ ‘Y/N’, etc because it literally drives my depressed self I n s a n e when writing

Most times for my outline summaries of the chapters I just put my name in place of Aella lmao

I actually struggled a lot when writing this; sometimes I even broke down thinking no one liked this book or I wasn’t a good enough author to write anymore.

My asshole self mainly spent my summer writing this rip

Currently, as it is July 2nd, I am literally hoping to Levi that I fucking get this done before August or else I’m so fucking screwed with beginning high school and shit.

Oh yeah btw, I’M NOT FUCKING READY FOR THE FINAL SEASON. I’LL BE A DAMN SOPHOMORE AND THAT IN ITSELF K I L L S ME

I don’t know if I’m actually going to continue with this book, but have these collected facts I started writing the moment the first chapter was out :,) It’s already September and my past dumbass was right

High school is kicking my ass

I have another story idea/plot written out and I really like it so idk. I think I’d stop halfway again because I’d think that no one would like it

#no sympathy

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hiironofusha · 7 years

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I'm a little confused with your headcanons regarding your muse. You say he's Prompto's brother, but he's also the prince of Niflheim, but he's Verstael's son, not Aldercapt... but he has Aldercapts last name... but he's actually Loqi Tummelt? But he can summon the Armiger, but if he doesn't know about his history then does he know he was blessed by the Crystal? Wouldn't that be a telling sign? It feels very confusing, I'm just asking for clarification. :)

Hey~! I’m sorry I make my muses so complicated usdkctyasdhvtfdrk. I need to stop that OTL Technically this prince is still in development too. I mean I barely started RPing as him because one of my muses took over haha. I also made this blog I think around the middle of last month or late last month? But anyway, allow me to try to explain the best way I can.

Warning though: This post is going to get long, because I have no idea how to shorten things sometimes

Also once again for those that may be reading this, all of this is completely headcanon/AU-based, because “canonically” we literally know nothing about the supposed Prince of Niflheim and he never made it to the final project. Like I said before in my previous post in regards to the whole “Loqi situation”, if Loqis out there feel uncomfortable about this or feel like our muses may not be able to interact due to complications, we don’t have to 100% go with my headcanon that Hamlet is the “real” Loqi. And hell “Loqi” and “Tummelt” can probably be common names in Niflheim lol. They could coincidentally both be named “Loqi Tummelt” cuz it could possibly be a common name in Niflheim haha. You can also unfollow me if you feel like your muse really wouldn’t be able to interact with mine due to the complications haha.

Another warning: Things might get dark and messed up and become kind of disturbing, and there will be mentions of blood.

This Loqi here, AKA this muse, is the real Loqi. He was born before the Loqi we know in the game. He’s not the same Loqi we know in the game. This Loqi was pretty much adopted by Iedolas and he gave him the name “Hamlet Aldercapt”. Iedolas was aware that Verstael was going to have a son and he and his wife had already given him a name: Loqi. Loqi RPers that follow me can think whatever they want and I will respect their portrayal and headcanons, but for me when I started working on this muse I tended to headcanon the Loqi we see in the game is either actually one of Verstael’s failed experiments that didn’t get turned into an MT or a daemon, or Verstael adopted him and knowing his wife (Emilia) wanted to name their to-be-born son Loqi, he named him Loqi Tummelt. He was going to give him his lastname, but despite becoming a literal crazy mad scientist and probably did other horrible things, he did regret abandoning Emilia and their unborn son (at the time) behind, so he wanted something to remember his wife, I guess? Haha. And so the Loqi Tummelt we see in the game, Verstael gave him the name Loqi Tummelt so he wouldn’t forget his wife, Emilia Tummelt. Also why did Verstael abandon his wife and his at the time unborn son? I had said in one of my other previous headcanons that she was drugged to become a daemon later by Verstael, but then I had a thought to change it since it’s a canon fact that Verstael actually use to be a man that wanted peace for the world of something. Anyway, there was a contagious naga daemon they ran into that carried a disease and it was about to attack Verstael. When that naga daemon was about to attack him, Emilia pretty much took the hit and was bitten by that daemon. Verstael knew that when she had been bitten by that daemon that carried a contagious daemonic disease, she would eventually turn into a daemon too. Emilia was also 6 months pregnant with Hamlet AKA this Loqi. I’m gonna call him Hamlet from now on to lessen the confusion of having two Loqis haha.

When Emilia was 8 ½ months pregnant with Hamlet, Verstael abandoned her in that ice cave(?) at that waterfall place where you can fight that Midgarsormr monster. He was there in hopes he would be able to seek Ramuh’s aid so he could be guided to the correct path for peace or something like that, because Verstael was actually a man that wanted peace until things happened (and either Iedolas or Ardyn got to his head and now Verstael is a literal mad scientist). He also wanted to seek aid to cure his wife from the daemonic disease she got from getting bitten by a contagious naga daemon (Luna wasn’t born at the time and there was no oracle, and Ardyn had been stripped of his healing abilities). He saw Emilia had already become literally blinded from the disease that took over her. Half of her face had also become affected, turning slightly black/gray from the disease (oh shit, sounds like the starscourge disease). This is where Verstael leaves her and unborn Hamlet behind, because he knew she was going to become a daemon and he was also afraid of the possibility that she would give birth to a literal daemonic child, because you know, if you’ve become contagious and you’re pregnant, the disease can actually spread to your unborn child too.

A month later, Hamlet is born in the cave that Verstael abandoned him and Emilia in. After she gave birth, of course she would be weak and frail, and so because she had become frail from giving birth, she then became a naga daemon.

Coincidentally, Ardyn was passing by this cave because he wanted to speak with Ramuh for whatever reason, despite knowing Ramuh may not want to talk to him because the Gods/Astrals probably do not like him since he literally became impure from healing others from the scourge in the past long long ago, he hears the sound of a baby crying and finds it. He was aware Verstael was going to have a son, and he did meet Emilia before. Ardyn actually never planned on doing anything to Emilia because he saw no point in it, I’d just like to point that out, and so he literally never did anything bad to her (yay). They’d talk sometimes as acquaintances, but not as much. He was also aware that Emilia was pretty much affected by the scourge, thanks to the contagious naga daemon that bit her (Emilia told him that). So while seeing Emilia as an unconcious naga daemon, and seeing a newborn boy beside her, Ardyn figured out that the newborn boy there is Emilia and and Verstael’s son. Now here comes the blood mention. When Ardyn found “Hamlet”, he literally saw in blood the name “Loqi T” on the baby. Emilia wrote that on her baby with her own blood in hopes someone would find this child she named when Emilia became no more. I won’t dive into how she wrote it with her own blood because even for me the thought of it is EXTREMELY disturbing, but hey, it’s for the sake of story development, but I’m still not gonna dive into how exactly she wrote “Loqi T” on her baby in her own blood. She didn’t use a knife or any sort of sharp object, I’ll tell you guys that though. BUT ANYWAY… Ardyn figured the “T” was suppose to spell “Tummelt”, but Emilia had already fallen unconcious as she tried to finish writing “Tummelt”. So Ardyn figured the baby was suppose to be named “Loqi Tummelt”. Emilia’s lastname is Tummelt, and Verstael’s is Besithia.

Here’s where this Loqi becomes “Hamlet Aldercapt”:

Ardyn took the newborn kiddo back to Niflheim and he actually did take care of the newborn kiddo a bit with nursing milk formula he bought at a store while he was still in Lucis lol. When he returned to Niflheim, he presented the newborn kiddo to Verstael, informing him in his manipulative tone of voice that Emilia had given birth to the kiddo and he shouldn’t have left them behind. Verstael examines the kiddo, seeing he is a human boy and not a daemon (yay). However, he thinks that considering his wife was infected, his son may be even part-daemon, because of the daemonic disease his wife had been infected with. Unfortunately he does have a little bit of daemon blood in him because of that, but no one knows if it’s infected or not. No one literally bothered to check. Even Ardyn, but Ardyn gets a feeling that it might be, but who knows? I wanna leave it up toothers and even myself to make things fun haha. Ardyn also informs that Emilia turned into a naga daemon and is most likely no more of who she was before when she was a human. She probably won’t remember when she was a human, Ardyn assumed, and he tells Verstael he should “reunite” with his wife for the better, but then Verstael is like “Nope. If she can’t remember me or our son, I can’t go. I’m totally not scared boo hoo,” and starts getting all edgy on Ardyn hahahaha. Ardyn pretty much is like “Okay, I’ll just give him to Iedolas. Bye loser.” So Ardyn goes to Iedolas and informs him about the whole situation where he found Hamlet, his mom turned into a daemon, his dad apparently doesn’t want him because he’s afraid of his son, yadi yadi yada. And then Ardyn thinks “Heyyyy, we could use a Prince for this nation to you know, defeat the other nations and he can bring us some hostages that we can make daemons and MTs out of, because Verstael needs experiments. That might be cruel though, but it’s not up to me. I’d take him but unfortunately I’m unable to raise a child anymore without being such an asshole that I am, and I do not want to be responsible for how I raise him.” Iedolas considers the thought of raising Hamlet to be a prince and to also probably screw with his thoughts later when he grows so he can be in second place to take Niflheim’s throne when it’s time for Iedolas to go, and to also pretty much guard the crystal, lead an army of regular soldiers and MTs, etc. Basically Iedolas wants to use him to do his dirty work, so he decides to adopt this Loqi and give him the name “Hamlet Aldercapt”.

When Hamlet turned a year old as a baby, he had basically been blessed by the crystal to actually become Niflheim’s new Emperor when it’s time for Iedolas to go, which had also granted him the ability to summon multiple weapons like the Lucis Caelum bloodline. I like to headcanon that only royal bloodlines can summon multiple weapons and that it’s up to them if they want to grant their followers the ability to summon weapons as well. Hamlet doesn’t know he has these powers until he turned 8 years old, he was mentored by Ardyn on how to control his abilities, but at the same time it was sort of manipulation so that he could end the Lucis Caelum bloodline as well as the Nox Fleuret bloodline and the Aldercapt bloodline. In a way this was so there would be no more monarchy and war, and everyone could live in peace without monsters or something. In reality even if there was world peace, there would probably still be monsters out there somewhere. Hamlet has no idea that he was blessed with the crystals powers, and Ardyn doesn’t really tell him about it but just tells him that he was born and blessed with it, but he doesn’t tell him the crystal blessed him with those powers.

NOW FINALLY, ABOUT THE WHOLE THING ABOUT THE LOQI WE KNOW IN THE GAME AND PROMPTO:

The Loqi we see in the game, I tend to headcanon he was abandoned somewhere in Niflheim by his own family too, and I guess luckily he was found by Verstael. While Verstael was feeling the guilt of abandoning his wife and kid because he feared his wife was going to become a daemon and that their son was probably going to become one too, he adopted that Loqi, and even before Hamlet was born, they had already decided to name him Loqi, but who’s lastname was he going to have? Verstael’s or Emilia’s? Going back to the thought on Emilia, in the end she most likely started to hate her husband for abandoning her while she was frail as well as their son who was unborn at the time, she gave him her lastname, Tummelt. Meanwhile Verstael, he still wanted a part of his wife with him, and even though the Loqi we see in the game may or may not be related to Verstael by blood, he names this abandoned kid he fount “Loqi Tummelt”, so now I guess there’s two Loqis lmao. The Loqi who is actually a false prince, considering that he’s actually Verstael and Emilia’s kid by blood, and a Loqi that Verstael found abandoned somewhere in Niflheim.

As for Prompto, we all know he was a test tube baby or something like that, but before I get into that, warning: this might get disturbing. I’m assuming “canonically” Verstael made him with his own DNA in a test tube or something like that once again. He had a bit of Emilia’s DNA on him too. I won’t get that deep into it because I even find it quite disturbing, but I have it in my head for logical development reasons lol. I’ll just say though that Verstael and Emilia did do the do, and the rest of the thought is up to you guys on how he still had some of Emilia’s DNA on him. BUT ANYWAY, so Verstael made Prompto with his and Emilia’s DNA in a test tube thing. In reality, I hate to say, but if we consider that Emilia is pretty much dead and she turned into a daemon, that would leave Prompto motherless and technically if we consider that he was a test tube baby, he is “canonically” motherless, because Emilia is pretty much dead, but even with that I still like to think that the naga daemon we saw in that one cave is Hamlet’s mother as well as Prompto’s mother because if she were still alive and if life hadn’t kicked her ass and Prompto was born from her, she’d definitely be his mother too, making him and Hamlet related by blood. SO ANYWAY AGAIN, how is Prompto related to Hamlet? Because Verstael is actually Hamlet’s dad too, but Hamlet doesn’t know that and he doesn’t know that he’s actually not of royalty, and as we know, Prompto was a test tube baby made by Verstael’s DNA (and Emilia’s), which would make Verstael Prompto’s dad too, and that would make Hamlet and Prompto related, biologically. I guess considering Verstael had adopted Loqi (not Hamlet-Loqi), that’d make Loqi their brother too, even though they’re not related by blood at all to Loqi, but Verstael adopted him, so therefore Loqi is Hamlet and Prompto’s brother too.

TL;DR

I SUCK AT EXPLAINING, BUT HAMLET HAD A FUCKED UP LIFE. VERSTAEL ABANDOEND HIM BEFORE HE WAS BORN, ADOPTED THE LOQI WE SEE IN-GAME AND NAME HIM AFTER HIS AT THE TIME UNBORN SON AND ALSO GAVE HIM HIS WIFE’S LASTNAME TO KEEP A PART OF HER IN HIS THOUGHTS OR SOMETHING, AND HE MADE PROMPTO IN A TEST TUBE WITH HIS AND EMILIA’S DNA, AND THEREFORE HAMLET, LOQI, AND PROMPTO ARE RELATED. Hamlet is the oldest, Loqi is the middle, and Prompto is the youngest.

I’m sorry my muse is so complicated and it’s my fault that I make everything complicated ;^; But I hope this starts to make sense????? Hamlet pretty much knows nothing about his true identity with being the “real” Loqi Tummelt and that he’s the son of a regular but evil mad scientist (Verstael), and the son of a regular nurse (Emilia). Hamlet is not of royal blood at all and neither are his family, but the crystal chose him to become the new Emperor of Niflhiem, because Iedolas was going to die eventually and deemed Hamlet would be worthy. Hamlet would probably be the first non-royal to have become an Emperor for Niflheim.

#anons #ooc #might as well put this in my headcanons #niflheim prince headcanons #murder me for making things complicated plz :')#i might change this headcanon though idk #i kind of like it but at the same time i feel it's probably too complicated for even me and others OTL -sobs-#plz feel free to hit me up with better ideas to make things less complicated #i'd like to keep the fact that he's the ''real'' loqi though #also plot twist: he is actually not a real prince #he knows nothing about his true identity and that is sad :x #can't blame him though #it's all verstael's fault and not really ardyn's for once #blood mention tw #Anonymous #messages #I'M SORRY I MAKE EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED RSJ KTHDFKJTF -CRIES OUT OF ANXIETY-#triggering mentions #disturbing mentions #what triggers do i need to tag here?#but hamlet in a way is a messed up dude #but he's also a good dude tbh #at first he was kind of a bad dude but he was never one to hurt women or children #and now he's trying to mend himself to become a good person

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