#and having to put up with this functionally heterosexual woman

[realasslesbian]

Ten bucks this girl goes around telling anyone that'll listen that gay people are oppressing her

#honestly tho #i feel so fucking sorry for this poor kid #like how dissonant it gotta be #to be a honest to god homosexual #a 'gay gay' if you will #and having to put up with this functionally heterosexual woman #whose support of actual LGBT people is probably about as real as her proclaimed identity #like I hope this boy moves out asap #these parents are just two sides of the same homophobic coin #lgbt #gay #homophobia

[familyabolisher]

Hi, Ave! Loved your post about gendered socialization, though there was one part I didn't fully understand: "even in its most charitable form, it attempts to present a complete account of "womanhood" and account for transfemininity only after the fact via hamfisted exceptionalism, rather than beginning with transmisogyny as the lynchpin of gendering and developing itself from there."

Could you please explain how transmisogyny functions as the lynchpin of gendering? I've read a decent amount of trans feminism and Marxism but don't remember coming across this idea before.

so what i was describing in the first part of that sentence was a tendency to articulate a particular discourse of structural gendered violence & the oppression of women into which trans women/TMA people are then kind of axiomatically deposited; it is a kind of feminism which considers itself ‘inclusive’ of trans people on the surface but is still, in its essential apparatus, hung up on ‘men’ and ‘women’ as immutable categories, and thus finds itself kind of skirting around necessary questions of how transness problematises these essentialist understandings of patriarchy by, as i said, falling back on tautology and circular reasoning. the logic goes something like—women are oppressed; trans women are women; therefore trans women experience women’s oppression. but the first statement has under this discourse become a complete and comprehensive construct without accounting for transmisogyny in the first place. within that, there are (sometimes) some gestures made towards the specific subjective experience of being a trans woman, but it’s always, like … womanhood is a preconceived category into which trans women have then been discursively slotted, rather than figuring womanhood as a category within which trans women are an essential component. there’s this baseline reluctance to admit, i think, that cis women can be agentive within and beneficiaries of gendered violence, just as much as they can be subjugated by it.

anyway, what i meant in the second half is that i think this discourse has it the wrong way around. there is no womanhood without trans womanhood, is maybe the best way of putting it; the kind of abjection that transmisogyny enforces is an abjection necessary for cis womanhood and cis manhood to make sense of themselves. transfemininity comes to stand as like, the worst thing someone can possibly be and thus as a discursive space onto which the ultimate incoherence of gender and the violence of being a subject within it can be siloed off. for example, the sexual subjugation of cis women (cis women being raped, cis women coerced into marriage, coerced into having children, cis women being denied sexual autonomy) becomes coherent (bearable, arguably) to cis women through the sexual abjection of trans women (denied access to the socially elevated status of the childbearing wife in the nuclear family, afforded sexuality through peripheralised sexual relations like sex work, reifying heterosexuality by threatening it). similarly—and this one is pretty straightforward—cis masculinity is affirmed and bolstered through the abjection of femininity in those coercively regarded as ‘men.’ so basically, writing a script for gendered violence and then tautologically inserting trans women/TMA people into an already-finished product is a limited and incoherent understanding of how gendered violence actually works. others have explained this better than i could and if any of you can dig those posts out i will be v happy, but. i hope this goes some way towards explaining what i meant.

#ask #transmisogyny

[leministfesbian]

Buck Angel interviews Briana, a 22-year old trans woman who started transitioning at age 13: 'I've had my entire face and body changed. My bottom surgery completely failed. There is no recovering it. Every surgeon I've talked to refuses to fix it, because it would probably kill me. And now I'm trying to figure out what I should do with my life, because it just hit me that this mission that I was put on is not real.'

'I had feelings of gender dysphoria when I was 6 or 7. I remember that vididly and that never changed. [...] I grew up in an environment where a lot of people around me did not like gay men. Being a feminine boy was very negative and I developed the idea really young that being gay was bad and I thought that becoming a heterosexual woman was better. Just me saying I was feminine, that I didn't feel like other boys... the doctors were like that means you are a girl. I'm 22 years old and now I'm thinking about who was I even supposed to be? I don't know.'

'I am happy with presenting as female but I miss my old genitals. I needed more time to figure things out. But I already had the idea from my interactions with the therapist and doctors that it is better to go through a full medical transtition and be heterosexually the other gender than being abnormal in that gender and gay. I did not like the idea of being gay. I was like let me have every plastic surgery and just be a girl instead.'

'Now I have to figure out how to live a life like this. I don't have sexual feelings or function at all. It has made being an adult really confusing. I'm also thinking about kids. They asked me if I wanted to have kids at 14, but of course I said no. I'm now completely sterile. At only 22 all the ideas about who I am are starting to contradict the way I felt as a kid.'

'I needed more time to figure out what is the right way to transition. Thank god I like presenting as female, but at 22 I'm still realizing that maybe I didn't need this. I don't know.'

#transgender healthcare #transgender #gender critical #radblr #buck angel #homophobia #gender dysphoria #gender ideology #the interview is very long so i picked out some intersting points that i want to save on my blog #Youtube

[themagnusbane]

GAP The Series Episode 8 Thoughts

I was out of my house for an engagement all of yesterday, and wasn't able to watch and react to this, when it dropped. Which is why y'all are getting my thoughts quite late. BUT, LET IT NOT BE SAID THAT I DIDN'T HAVE MY SAPPHICS KISSING IN THE BACK OF MY MIND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE EVENT!!! Why do I have to be a functioning human, when I can just spend all day, lazing in bed and imagining that I was in this show and Tee was mine?????????????????

Anyway, on to my reaction.

Awwwww. And we're starting with that, hands-shaking-knees-knocking-breath-catching nervousness when you're in bed with your crush and your brain is scrambling with all the emotions!!!!! I really love how that nervous excitement is portrayed differently on both Sam and Mon. I AM SQUEALING like a fucking pig!!!

2. Wait hold up. So when she meant "let's go to bed" she really meant "let's go to bed?" Sam. Honey. There's a big bed. Right there? And you're with your crush!! She's lying right there! Soft and clean and wrapped in your sheets... BEDS ARE NOT ONLY MEANT FOR SLEEPING!!!!!

3. Sam inhaling Mon's scent is the most sensual thing I have ever seen. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

4. Wait. Wait. WAIT!!!!!! What in the edging nonsense is this??? Sam, what do you mean by you're going to bed. That can't be all. YOU BETTER COME FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED! Jesus. This woman. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MON AND ME???? You can'y have us hot and bothered and just stop. What the fuck?????

5. I am Mon's frustrated "tch" sound. I feel you Mon. I feel you. The audacity of her sexy ass. And the fact that she actually slept? THE NERVE!

6. Okay. That squeak at the screen is funny af. But also, I'm just noticing her nails. Sam, girl. I hope you weren't planning on putting those nails, with all 'dem stones inside my baby girl Mon. Cuz, hell to the NO! Where is your lesbian etiquette??? Get your nails in order!!! Santana taught you better than that!

7. Of all the things to be watching right now... Lions fucking? Seriously? THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING RIOT!!!!

8. Hehehehehehe. Mon is totally fucking with her. She KNEW what "Do it" meant, and totally decided to misunderstand it as wanting to pray instead. And you know what? Girl, I support you. Sam left you all hot and bothered, all night long. Let your inner brat shine!!!!!

9. Mon is giving you so many chances to just say it. Tell her you want to fuck her Sam. She wants it. You want it. WE ALL WANT IT!!!

10. Urgh! Kirk's back with his heterosexual bullshit. Boy, she's not going through with firing Mon, not because of your ass. But because that's her girl, and of course she wasn't going to fire her anyway. Sam is NOT interested in marrying you. EVERYONE can see it. Except maybe you. And her witch of a grandmother. Urgh! Future bride my ass.

11. Gghghghhjghjghjghjg. Chin and Yha are TOTALLY acting suspicious. Why do I get the feeling that both of them are dating as well. Rofl.

12. The hilarity of everyone assuming that Kirk and Mon are secretly dating behind Sam's back, and not realizing that it's Sam and Mon that are secretly dating behind Kirk's back. The drama of this whole scene is sending me!!!

13. Sam's coworkers: Ooooh Kirk must be messaging her to flirt with her.

Me, who knows it's Sam sending Mon all the kissing emojis and begging her not to be angry anymore:

14. Sam's friends are me! I am Sam's friends!!! See their excitement as Mon starts to describe their night together. I'm waiting for the "THAT's IT?????!" screech that would rightfully follow when she's done, cuz THAT IS HOW I FELT TOO!!!!

15. Jim's "OMG. I'm about to go crazy here" is making me feel so seen! Girl, you are about to go crazy, from just hearing about it. Imagine how I felt! I was watching the stupidity in real time!! Sam and her sexually frustrating ass!!

16. Give her ALL the advice Tee. Look at my queen Tee. She's holding court and laying down the law. "You don't have to top her, but be receptive." A FUCKING QUEEN!!! Tee. Mommy. Goddess. Top me. Please. I'm begging you. I'm begging you. I'm on my knees!!!!

17. Did Sam just tell Mon "to eat with you"? Cuz, it looks more "to eat you", if you ask me. And with Sam's smirk, and Mon's gulp, I think I'm right. Hehehehehe. I swear, if there isn't at the very least, some heavy petting in this office, I will riot!

18. Sam's "girl I was about to do a lady and the tramp re-enactment of the spaghetti scene, and you blew me off" frustrated huffs are sending me!!! And you can't even complain about that Khun Sam. Now you know how it feels!!!

19. She's adorable!!! She actually watched movies as research!! Sam my beloved queen.

20. The kisses. All that tongue. ALL THAT TONGUE!!! The hands on Mon's thigh. The "let me do it". The touching and kissing, and walking backwards, and kissing more against the stairs.... I am dead. Deceased. Dead and buried!!! Ghhjgjhghjghjghjghjghjghjghjghjghjhjg.

21. Did they just include a nosebleed in this??? I'm dead! I'm fucking dead! OMG!!!! Gghjghjgjhgjhgjhgjhjhg. This show is the best!!!! Rofl!!!

22. I love LOVE how they both called their individual friends to ask them about sex, when we both know their respective friends are actually already in their very own relationship. Hell, I won't be surprised if Tee and Yuki have already had sex. Tee's too smooth to keep a girl horny and frustrated. You know what? Good on Sam for asking Tee for advice. She and I KNOW THAT TEE'S GOT GAME!!!

23. Also, shout out to Yuki for knowing all about women having sex with other women!! Aaaaaaaand this totally confirms that she's been having sex with Tee. I can feel it in my bones!!!

24. Sam and Mon being oblivious to Jim bringing them whiskey to help them get out of their own heads and on to fucking each other, is making me laugh so hard. Jim, beloved. You are a service to sapphics EVERYWHERE!!! I am so sorry that your friend is a dumbass and her girlfriend is just as clueless.

25. FINALLY!!! SOMEONE SAID IT! Shout out to Jim, the patron saint of the lesbians!!! She finally mentioned the nails!!! I was wondering when Sam was going to realize it! Thank the fuck!!!

26. The way I was screaming in frustration at Mon stopping Sam from continuing. Like girl!!! We have been waiting FOREVER!!! But her asking that all important question makes so much sense. Sam is still engage to Kirk the heterosexual ideal, and it isn't fair to him or Mon for Sam to basically be playing them both. Now I know Sam has promised to break up with Kirk after she and Mon have sex, but you know what? I'm not holding my breath. Between Kirk and her grandmother, I don't see Sam being able to successfully end it, and that is going to cause my baby girl Mon, so much pain.

27. Baby's first orgasm. I am so proud. I'm crying. That was so hot. And so beautiful. Freen and Becky really did that. THEY DID THAT! You both did so good!!!

28. Yooooo!!! They actually finished the entire bottle of scotch. Wow! Just wow!!

29. Mon's satisfied "I got ate out for hours" smile is making me so damn happy. You go girlfriend!! You got the girl, the orgasms and that glow!!! Here is hoping we get many more of these before we are hit with the pain!

30. Fggjhghjghjghjghjghj. Sam's friends are the BEST. I repeat. THEY ARE THE BEST!!!!

31. Sam's giddy, "I did it with Mon" Facebook post, and smile. This episode has me giddy with ALL THE JOY!!! SO much joy!!!!

32. Look at them making out in the office. I love it for them! But they are sooooo going to get caught. But damn. Since Sam's gotten a taste of our girl, she just can't stop kissing her!!! And you know what? Valid! Absolutely valid.

33. Mon sweetheart. You're such a good egg. Look at you being so concerned about Kirk. You know he's not going to extend that same concern to you if he was in your shoes, right?

34. I knew it. I knew it. This thing with all three of them being on Facebook, and Sam, posting everything with such glee is going to come and bite them in the ass. Kirk might be a backstabbing twat, but he isn't stupid. He's going to figure it out soon. Best break up with him soon Sam.

35. Damn. Her coworkers really have spun this false narrative about Mon dating Kirk and that being the reason why she was fired. They have no idea that the truth is so much weirder than fiction.

36. Sam. Honey. What are you doing??? How can you even believe that Mon would do that that? You know her! Yes, I know it's your insecurities and fears acting up, but you know her!!! You know better than to do this??? You can't take all this shit that you're saying back. Why are you hurting your girl like this?

37. Aaaaaand of course Kirk is here to make everything worse. Boy, did you not hear her say that people at work saw you talking with her and holding her hands, and now assume that you both together? Why are you STILL talking to her and holding her hands???? Let her go, and go sort out your own problems. Urgh!!!!

38. Sam. Sam. Sam. Why? Just... why? Fuck.

39. Aaaaaand of course. Nop is just right there. Didn't she tell you she's not interested in you? When will you get a fucking clue? She's not interested Nop. Be a friend in this moment. That's all she needs.

40. Look at my baby girl crying. I should have known that all that joy in this episode was lulling me into a false sense of complacency. Now look. Mon and I are both crying. Sam why???????

41. You know, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Sam girl, Nop is right. WHY ARE YOU SO INTENT ON BREAKING YOUR GIRL??? WHAT THE FUCK?!!! Now you're implying that she's hopping from man to man? Mon. Slap her. Slap her. Just hit her straight in the face. WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!

42. Oh no you don't. You have ZERO right to be crying right now Sam. None. ZERO. NONE!!!

Urgh!! Why??? Why couldn't we just get an entire episode filled with happiness? Don't I deserve good things? Don't we all?!!!! I swear, if episode 9 doesn't start with Sam on her knees begging, I AM GOING TO RIOT!! Y'all have a week to fix this. FIX IT!!!

#gap #gap the series #gap yuri #gap episode thoughts #gap episode 8 #sammon #monsam #sam x mon #mon x sam #beckyfreen #becky armstrong #freen chankimha #freenbecky #noria watches gap

[storkmuffin]

rant about how much i didn't like Veronika Decides to Die by Paul Coelho because my mutual (@bloodyentrails) said i could do this. (all opinions mine)

Veronika Decides to Die tells the story of Veronika, who goes down a depression spiral.

She feels like life has no point, that she herself has no purpose, and she just wants to exit. She's from Slovenia, and like the citizens of a lot of countries that are neither famous nor infamous, even though she lives comfortably and well enough, she carries this annoyance that nobody knows where Slovenia is. She takes a bunch of pills, but is rescued from her suicide attempt. However, the doctor at the mental hospital she wakes up in tells her that she has irreparably damaged her heart. She only has a week to live.

During the course of this week at the mental hospital, she meets a young man around her age who is diagnosed with schizophrenia, and gets some advice about how to live and what's important in life from a woman who was a lawyer until debilitating panic attacks caused her to lose her career and get abandoned by her husband.

Coelho kept saying, over and over, that she's very pretty, that she thinks about her own prettiness, she can get a boyfriend whenever she wants, that her life actually consisted of doing a job she was bored by (as a librarian) and then going to a bar to pick up a casual sex partner when she doesn't have a boyfriend, and starting again the next day.

By the end of day 2 of 5 to live, Veronika has decided she will do whatever she feels like. One of those things is playing the piano at the mental hospital, which apparently she does well enough for it to function as a siren call for the schiozophrenic guy. By the evening of day four, she takes all her clothes off in front of this guy in the piano room at the mental hospital and masturbates to orgasm in front of him.

MAJOR SQUICKAGE. First of all, the guy is mute. He hasn't said a single word to her so far. Secondly, given that Veronika is described as a heterosexual normie, I find the idea that she would want to flash a stranger and jack off in front of him a really bizarre turn of events. Third, I felt really grossed out by Coelho having consistently described this woman, pointedly, over and over as being really pretty. He must've been building to this point, like, he wrote this whole book to build to this scene of this young thin pretty woman get naked and put on a sex show because she wants to and it's good for her. What in the actual fuck. You WISH women wanted to do this, dumbass.

OH and this then causes the mute mental hospital male patient and this woman to 'fall in love' and they 'run away' together. So, we have Liberation of a repressed woman = she does porny things instead of what an actually liberated repressed woman would do, for one, and for another we have, "love" cures mental illness. For good. Entirely.

Day 5 happens, and Veronika doesn't die.

Then the reader is told that she has been lied to this entire time. By her doctor. Because he thinks this is a course of treatment, to tell his suicidally depressed patient, a woman who actually went all the way through with a suicide attempt which took the deliberate action of swallowing pill after pill until she lost consciousness, that she had a heart failure situation going on and there was nothing to be done. Then he injected her with medication whose side effect was to give her heart-failure-type symptoms. Without information or consent.

The book ends with this Dr. Mengele type motherfucker congratulating himself for his 'effective course of treatment' in making Veronika OK and wanting to live and set up life with her mentally ill boyfriend with whom she has essentially absconded from hospital.

I CANNOT BEGIN TO EXPRESS MY RAGE about the horror of this. The smug self congratulation by the author (speaking through the doctor) that he has done the right thing, that most mental illness can be 'cured' in this way, that this is a warm and moving parable he has told?

VOMIT. VOMIT OF BLOOD. I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

#veronika decides to die #paul coelho is cursed #enraged rant #long post

[jasontoddisrightfuckyou]

okay this is something that's been bothering me for a very long time but I've struggled to put words to it. Until just now.

I hate how often sexualisation of men, or male sexiness or male sexuality is often just sexualised male feminisation.

Now obviously femine and masculine is different and not the same as being a woman or being a man, but for the sake of this post I'll go by the common definition of masculinity vs feminity which is as following:

Feminity: feminity usually refers to the stereotypical physical or cultural traits and expectations of a cis woman

Masculinity: masculinity usually refers to the stereotypical physical and cultural traits and expectations of a cis man

Now, personally I think feminity/masculinity refers more to a aesthetic and certain way of being than it does gender, but it is still undeniably contacted to gender. Which makes the fact that Male Sexiness often involving or equaling male feminisation even more disturbing. its not just a common fetish. it's heteronormative. it's misogynistic. it's misandric. I will elaborate on why bellow.

Feminisation being equalled to sexualisation and male sexiness involving or being equalled to feminisation is something I specifically see within mlm content. In fact, the only time I see masculinity consistently being sexualised is in m/f (and often straight) media.

it's often in mlm content you see men dressed up in lingerie with feminine design, in heels, or "maid outfits". its in mlm content you see men bekng out in feminine clothing or traditionally female roles, as a way to portray them as sexy. In both fanfiction or original writing, a man's attraction to another man is often about his ass (which is not necessarily a feminine trait) or his hips. his slim waist. his large pectorals (which are often referred to as tits or boobs or breasts)

Very rarely do I see physical attraction towards men talking about anything stereotypically masculine outside of musculature. Why is it never about someone's broad shoulders, their hairyness, the bulge in their pants, their largeness.

At most, I see mentions of their large muscles and washboard abs. Which is a ridiculous beauty and bosy standard put upon men, but that's a different discussion.

That a men is only considered sexy to the point of sexualisation within mlm or queer media is not only a problem, but indicates deeper issues. Like I said heteronormativity. misogyny and misandry.

and here I'll explain why, in case it is not clear.

Heteronormative: It pushes masculine and feminine, male and female roles and dynamics onto a mlm couple, forcing them into a falsisfied and fake heterosexual dynamic

Misogyny: oversexualising of feminine traits or roles. Equaling and resucing feminity and anything stereotypically female to sexiness

Misandry: Equaling and reducing sexiness to feminity and anything stereotypically female. Implies and pushes the idea than masculinity cannot be or isn't sexy.

As a transmasc agender person it fills me with great dysphoria to see men's pectorals always being referred to as tits or boobs or breasts. The focus, fascination or sexualisation of big and lushus pectorals have never bothered me, but the trend of calling them tits or boobs do. Same when people cat like they function like boobs. Like a push up bra creating cleavage, or muscular pectorals requiring a bra to support them. Neither of which is true. Pectorals enlarged due to fat, aka Man-boobs (commonly referred to as moobs) are different, and could both require a bra to help support the extra weight on the chest, and as they consist of fat, not hard muscle, they could be pushed up by a push-up bras. Yet they do not get referred to as tits, boobs, nor do people talk about moobs in bras. This is also an example of fat phobia and the ridiculous body and beauty standards for men, but I'm getting of topic. My point about moobs is that in cases where a bra would be physically possible or serve a practical purpose, they are not included. But when it comes to large pecs being of muscle they will be used as to enhance the sexiness, through feminising the person and the body part. Meaning the bra - and the subsequent feminisation - is only attarctive and wanted when it can be used to sexualise.

And I am. so tired of this trend. I am all for men or masc presenting people wearing skirts, heels, make up, or lingere. but when they wear them, why not let them remain masculine. Let men and masculine people wear a skirt in a masculine way. (Have you seen Scots in kilts?? it's definitely possible for a man or masc person to look both sexy and masculine in skirt like clothing) Or why not try removing any stereotypical feminine stuff altogether? Sexualised rugged (non-washboard ab'd with cut muscles) men with chest hair and hairy arms and legs, stubble and a visible bulge. Talk about mlm physical attraction regarding a bulky torso and thick thighs. a visible bulge and a hot ass. Emphasise those broad shoulders, narrow hips and square jaw

let men be sexy for being masculine. let masculinity be sexy.

don't equal sexiness to femininity. dont equal feminity to sexiness. it's time we sexualise masculinity

edit: this is not to say that the feminisation of med or sexualisation of feminity in men is inherently bad or forbidden. I'm not trying to demonise anyone or what they are into. Explore what you like, create what you're into. I'm just trying to bring up an issue I've seen become more normal and want to bring it up to talk about it and discuss it. if you are a femboy, are into femboys or just like them please know this is not an attack on you. I am just bringing up my own experience and how I wish masculinity was more celebrated and sexualised for being masculine, as well as wishing for more content of men and masc people wearing traditional feminine stuff and STILL be masculine, or even wear it in a masculine way. or just men and masc people wearing traditional feminine things without it being sexualised

#perse won't shut up #feminisation of men #male feminisation #mlm sexuality #sexualision of feminity #jason todd #specifically tagging him to put it in his tag bc i see it a lot with him #jasons toddies #ringing any bell?

[watermelinoe]

While we are having bisexual class consciousness, here’s a rant:

What the fuck is this shit of pretending bisexuals are completely accepted by society and fully oppress gay people along with straight people and biphobia doesn’t exist etc etc because you can be “straight passing”. Meanwhile every single gay person is a poor little meow meow whose life is the polar opposite of a bi person and is personally victimised by our slutty antics.

Cause obviously a bi woman in a lesbian relationship is insanely privileged compared to her lesbian girlfriend, of course. It’s not like the material way they are viewed and treated by society is EXACTLY THE SAME. It’s not like a single gender conforming bi person and a single gender conforming gay person have exactly the same amount of “straight-passing privilege”. It’s not like bi women are victimised by their male AND female partners BECAUSE they are bisexual, and have the highest rate of intimate partner violence as a result.

And I’m not ignoring the fact that bi women can be in a straight relationship and live a life being treated as functionally heterosexual! I’m aware of that! And I have to mention this cause if I don’t put millions of disclaimers on a rant like this the horde will come for me. But the thing is, some bi women can’t have that! It’s not always a choice. I’m bi, technically. I could never be with a man though. I heavily prefer women. Not to mention the fact you can’t actually usually control who you fall in love with, life isn’t a dating app with structured swiping and messaging.

Like literally nobody is saying that bi women have it worse from society than lesbians or whatever, but any time you bring up legitimate problems that bi people have somebody has to shoehorn in that gay people have it worse and you’re a privileged oppressor and you should shut the fuck up. There’s literally no outlet for us to talk about our problems even amongst ourselves cause somebody who thinks they are the only true victim of society has to come along and tell us they have it so much worse.

hmm i partially agree, like i don't understand this "straight passing" argument when it's *only* applied to bisexuals. like you said there are also gay people who "pass" as straight just like any closeted bi person, but ultimately they still navigate the world as homosexuals and bi people navigate the world as bisexuals. and that's a disadvantage either way. but by that logic, i can't agree that we're viewed the exact same... you're describing a situation where a bi woman would be facing homophobia bc she's assumed to be a lesbian, and that's definitely where we have the most overlap in our experiences, but the internal effect isn't necessarily the same imo so we internalize things differently based on our sexualities

i'm the same way though, i'm a febfem bc i could never happily be with a man, i'm more or less penis-repulsed. being bi doesn't mean you're available to men. i know the majority of bi people end up with the other sex, but that isn't the case for everyone lol and even if you're with the other sex that doesn't make you immune to biphobia. the statistics are there.

i do think there are some bisexuals who wanna go on abt this "monosexual privilege" shit but in radfem spaces? there's no reason why bi women talking abt legitimate concerns should be met with "other women have it worse so shut up," like that's literally a men's rights activist talking point to shut down feminists and i yet see radfems saying it unironically to bi/straight women which is wild to me

#answered

[piqued-curiosity]

I don’t believe the vast majority of “asexuality” is real tbh. Like sure, if somebody can be attracted to women and not men, and somebody can be attracted to men and not women, and somebody can be attracted to both, it makes logically sense that some people exist who are physically healthy and have a functionally sex drive but just aren’t attracted to either.

But I think most “asexuals” are just normal people with a low sex drive who are terminally online and have convinced themselves they’re “different” because they’re not attracted to people often. Or they’re teenagers who haven’t finished developing. The existence of “Demisexuality” proves that lots of people have no idea what real normal sexuality is, to the point where they have pathologised wanting to love somebody before sex ffs.

I agree!

I think actual asexuality, as in no attraction to either sex, exists (probably in rare cases, like homosexuality but rarer). And I feel bad for the people who that applies to, because the internet has taken it and completely twisted it. Now all it takes to be “ace” is to want an emotional connection before having sex with somebody???

The “ace spectrum” and any of these ace labels and “romantic orientations” is what I’m referring to when I say I don’t think “asexuality” in the way the internet has defined it exists (I put it in quotes because what I’m talking about here isn’t asexuality, it’s people on the internet wanting to be special and misunderstanding sexuality). I think that’s just experiencing attraction, libido, emotional connection, desire, etc. in certain ways. For example, somebody who wants to date but isn’t interested in sex isn’t “homoromantic asexual”, they’re homosexual and don’t want to have sex. Somebody who wants to have sex but isn’t interested in romance isn’t “heterosexual aromantic”, they’re heterosexual and not interested in romance. It’s that simple! People have over complicated it.

So yeah, the way “asexuality” is currently defined is complete bullshit. It’s a result of both hook-up culture making people think they must be “abnormal” for not wanting casual sex all the time, as well as the “queer” movement trying to convince everyone to take on these special labels so they can be Part Of The Community (forever haunted by a post I saw from a straight woman who said “I’m heteromantic demisexual, am I queer?” And got told yes 😭).

#asks #anon

[panlight]

I always think it would have been nicer for Charlie to end up with Billy instead of Sue. It's fun in theory, but god. That BD family Christmas would also be horrendous. I can't decide if it would be more or less horrible than what it is in canon.

It certainly would have felt less rushed than Charlie/Sue. Sue might have just lost her husband, but Billy has been a widower for years. It wouldn't have the same "Charlie moved in real fast on his dead friend's wife" vibes at all. Would also take away the sense I got that Billy was being punished for being opposed to E/B. SM mentions before that there's now a bit of a rift between Billy and Charlie because they both were interested in Sue, so now Billy's lost his son to imprinting, Rachel to Paul, Rebecca's off with her surfer husband, and BFF Charlie is hooking up with the woman Billy himself was interested in. This is the price of standing in the way of true love, even if you do it because you know your best friend's kid is hanging around with actual vampires and want to protect her. 

But we all know SM wouldn't have written Charlie/Billy as canon. It's funny, though, because she mentioned in some comments about Life and Death that she could see Charlie/Bonnie (the genderswapped Billy) becoming a couple. So she acknowledges the connection but just can't see it outside of a heterosexual context.

As cute as Billy/Charlie could be you're right that the family dynamics would still be weird AF at any gathering, like Christmas. Jacob and Bella would functionally be step-siblings, which makes Nessie basically Jacob's niece and yet he's destined to spend eternity with her someday. Jacob would be Charlie's step-son and also grandson-in-law? And I feel like Sue is better at playing nice with vampires, she's more diplomatic and willing to put up with stuff (Seth's friendliness helps). But without Sue and Seth there, I can't imagine Billy doing anything but giving Edward and death stare the whole time and mentally mumbling about vampires even if he is outwardly pleasant.

#asks

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Hello! <3 in your unmasked universe, my favorite!!!, was Peeta ever in love with the lady who made the official portraits of his family? Did he fall out of love when she failed to understand him after he returned from the war? Or were both their feelings more superficial? And was Madge’s plan to marry Gale to get him to give Everdeen to Katniss’s children? That part confuses me a bit! Thank you <3

Hey Anon!

Okay so here’s the thing. I really like giving Everlark a chance to be with other people romantically before they wind up together in my fics. That’s my personal preference, but the result of it is that sometimes… yes, I write them as being in love with, or loving someone else, in some form or fashion. Which is to say that in my brain, yes. Unmasked!Peeta was in love with the woman who painted the portraits and it just didn’t work out in large part because she wasn’t able or willing to understand how being in a war changed him. Sometimes love is not eternal. Sometimes it’s fleeting. Sometimes it can’t overcome the obstacles life puts in our way. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out. And I like giving characters love interests that fail, but I don’t think that failure of a relationship automatically means it must have been “superficial” feelings. Life is more complicated than that.

BUT… I’m also fully aware that readers get to decide what they think about what I’ve written, after I’ve posted it, so if you or anyone else thinks I’m out of my gourd and clearly his feelings for Ophelia were superficial and his only real love is for Katniss then by all means, believe that. 😘

As for your other question… Gale had no intentions of giving Everdeen to Katniss’s children when he married Madge, and while Madge may have it in the back of her head that as Gale’s wife she would have influence over what happens to Everdeen and therefore her good friends Katniss and Peeta, her primary motive for marrying Gale was more protective of HERSELF than anything else. If the story is too subtle, let me be clear. Unmasked Madge and Gale are queer living in a society that would violently reject them. Marrying each other protects themselves and their lovers. Gives them a safe haven to live somewhat freely, the benefit of the doubt by nature of them being in a marriage that appears heterosexual (which they reinforce by having a child together), and also financial security for them both. Madge’s land is lucrative and valuable to Gale. She’s a woman and has no money of her own beyond that property but it’s been left derelict and unused for so long that she lacks the capital to invest in it and turn it into a functioning estate. Gale in this story has the money to invest in her property. TA-DA!!! Marriage of convenience, bonus for Katniss, and eventual happily ever after for everyone.

Hopefully that clears up your confusion!

#anonymous #look at that ask

[dakotaxatwood]

LILI REINHART, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER✦ DAKOTA ATWOOD the TWENTY-SEVEN year old has been in Hidehill for her WHOLE LIFE and was a FORMER STUDENT to Miyeon Kang, the murder victim. Whispers on the streets are that the PARAMEDIC who lives in HARTLEY AVENUE are said to be LOYAL and HEADSTRONG but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves.

Full Name: Dakota Bethany Atwood

Age: 27

Date Of Birth: 5 January 1996

Zodiac: Capricorn

Parents: Remington Atwood Sr & Annalise Atwood

Siblings: Remy Atwood @remykatwood

Orientation: Heterosexual

Occupation: Paramedic

Languages: English & Italian

Positive: Loyal, determined, generous, empathetic, resourceful

Negative: Headstrong, stubborn, honest, afraid of failure, independent 

CONNECTIONS | PINTEREST

A BRIEF HISTORY

Dakota was born at Hide General, into a wealthy family helmed by her father, Remington Atwood. In what Remington would later describe as being in ‘true Dakota fashion’, she beat her twin out of the womb by 3 minutes and 7 seconds; something that she would have no trouble with holding over her sibling’s head in order to assert some well-placed dominance. 

Dakota was a go-getter from an early age, brimming with ambition and opportunity, thanks to her familial wealth. Both her and her twin had the chance to try almost everything; dance, sports, arts and everything in-between all at their fingertips. Dakota enjoyed anything competitive and found little thrills in winning.

To outsiders, the Atwoods appeared to be the perfect family, but behind closed doors was a different story. Dakota’s parents were married in title only; they treated each other as acquaintances. They did their best to co-parent the twins to allow them to grow up in a functional household, but the frostiness between them was evident to Dakota from an early age.

As she got older, Dakota began to resent her parents. She couldn't understand the decision to stay together in misery just for the sake of what she perceived to be protecting their image. The twins were old enough to realise they weren’t happy, and every family dinner and holiday celebration felt like a ridiculous act to her. She longed for independence and freedom from the clutches of her fraudulent life. 

After she graduated from school, Dakota took a year off to travel and more importantly, put distance between her and her family. Her first stop was Italy, where she met Luca - her first real love - so real that she cancelled the rest of her European gap year to stay with him. He taught her Italian, how to cook pasta from scratch, and how to loosen up a little. However there was always a subtle gloom hanging over the both of them, knowing that they were living on borrowed time. When it came time for Dakota to return to America she begged Luca to come with her, but he had deep familial bonds that he wasn’t willing to fracture for her. She saw the irony in it; he refused to leave his family and she was desperately running away from hers.

Dakota entertained the idea of moving as far away as possible to go to college, but ultimately returned to Nashville on the promise from her father that her studies would be paid for. She had reluctantly agreed, but on the condition that she would not be returning to the family home, opting instead to move to Hartley Avenue.

NOW

Dakota works at the very same hospital she was born in as a Paramedic and can often be found post night-shift hunched over an almond latte at Verdure Cafe. Lately she has felt like she could be striving for more, and is considering going back to medical school to become a doctor.

TW: DEATH While her job is never easy and always unpredictable, the recent occurrences in Hidehill have Dakota on a knife’s edge. Every call out she receives has her wondering more than ever if she will be finding the body of someone she cares about, and she can’t shake the anxiety no matter how hard she attempts to. 

#hidehillintro #this needs an update :) #( — backstory. )

[libertasforte]

Me: I don’t know what to do about Childe please help T_T Arlecchino: Throw the patriarchy at it

Within the standard heterosexual script, Childe would fuck Arlecchino but there’s no reason for him to be exclusive to her. The only reason this works is because Arlecchino could eliminate all competitors (unalive) if she wanted.

But that runs counter to Arlecchino’s ego and what she wants. I would describe what she wants as to collect people (women), keep them under her care, and have them be the most beautiful version of themselves. She’s not a widowmaker, she’s not a black widow. If Arlecchino loved Childe as a male, then the most beautiful version of him, the logical result of her ego investment in Childe would be: a male lead to a countably infinite procession of women. And to take care of him and to cherish him as such.

I don’t know that many of you here are familiar with the tropes in a harem manga but there’s two I’ve read that have a woman who is dominant to the protagonist, and it is depicted so that the sexual conquests of the male lead are under the auspices and the domain of that female character. But he doesn’t fuck her - in one of them, maybe he would, but it’s presented as a goal that may happen at the end of the story.

But also these women are not dominatrixes, they don’t touch the male lead, and they would rather have the male lead conquer other women. (So it’s not arlechi.) Are they mommy? I would say that they have a masculine edge - an investment in sexual conquest - that makes them distinct from a mommy character. And Arlecchino is like that, too.

With Genshin Impact imitating the structure of a harem story, I think Arlecchino fulfills this role to the male protagonist. And Childe: Childe’s function as a romanceable male for a female protagonist is secondary to his role as the “best friend” character in a harem story, who will help the protagonist get the woman he wants.

But at that point, can’t you just… remove the protagonist from the picture? Have them be the ones who are together? Have them be the ones who have a harem?

This is tartacchino; this is the function they were written for, this is the function they fulfill, this is their existence and this is their love. And they’re so happy; who cares.

(I want to say that Genshin Impact isn’t an uncritical imitation of the harem story - there’s a reason that Childe and Arlecchino are villains. Tartacchino is when you go “yes, unironically, harem”)

Zeroeth wife:

First wife:

After I realized that I had to put these two men (derogatory) together, I ran into the problem of how to actually ship them. My answer was that I could just ship them in a yuri way - if anything, I was sure that Arlecchino had enough power to bring Childe over into the yuri side. But the problem with this was that there was no way that they felt safe enough to express any of their emotions or their reality.

I think they were drawn to Chiori because 1. Some sort of assurance that she is clearly the wife in the picture, 2. Her grounded energy, 3. Her ability to fight for them and defend them, and to scare.

And that’s how she got them to open up. She did the job, she got it done, and left (psychologically).

She is a woman who takes pride in her work and her existence, and that’s her place in the meta. She makes a clean cut, leaves, leaving a doll behind (to provide her symbolic presence). If her existence hurts your ego, then a minor upgrade to the mono geo team is something you can safely ignore. You can use Albedo - another competent off-field geo damage dealer, and he’s a lot more unassuming than Chiori is. He can generate a flower every 4 seconds, which is a lot easier to use than Chiori. But Chiori does more damage, and her dolls don’t break like Albedo’s flowers do.

Will there be more wives? We’ll see T_T

#tartacchino harem #tartacchino lore #tartacchino lore part 12 #childe #tartaglia #arlecchino #chiori #tartaori #arleori #genshin impact #me making tartacchino content: no one wants to see this #me making tartacchino harem content: okay really no one wants to see this #childe meta #tartaglia meta #arlecchino meta #chiori meta #tartacchino meta

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Lucy Hale.

full name: Evangeline Miller.

nickname(s) / goes by: Evie, Eva.

pronouns & gender: Cis Woman, She/Her.

sexuality: Heterosexual.

birth date: June, 1, 1993.

birth place: Baton Rouge, LA.

arrival to merrock: Evangeline has only been in Merrock for a month now.

housing: Apartment in Historical Downtown.

occupation: Pastry Chef / Waitress (evenings).

work place: Pastry Chef at Flour Co. / Waitress at Cul-de-Sac Diner.

family: Her parents have been married for 35 years. She has an older brother and younger sister. Her father is a high school football coach and her mother is a cottage baker.

relationship status: Single / Recently Divorced.

PERSONALITY

Evie is a free spirit and a rambler. She tends to talk way more often than she should, and doesn't always take a hint when someone is ready to shut down the conversation. Something about awkward pauses bothers her, so she'd prefer to fill the gaps with nonsense if that's what it takes. While typically an open book, as of late Evie has become a little more closed off; at least when it comes to romance. Being newly divorced, her trust has been tested, leaving her more wary of new people. Friendship is a whole other story though. Even though she's been up north for a few years now, Evie's still got the southern charm going for her. She is always warm and welcoming, and is always looking to make new friends. In light of her recent situation, she has also become more independent, and determined to take control of her future.

WRITTEN BY: Anna (she/her), cst.

BACKGROUND / BIO

triggering / sensitive content: cheating.

Evie was born and raised in Louisiana. Before she was of school-age her family moved to New Orleans for her father's job. To her, no matter where she ends up, it will always be home. Anytime she starts feeling down, Evie revels in the memories spent in her childhood home-- the very one that her parents still reside in to this day. She reminisces of lighthearted times listening to old rock and roll vinyls and helping her mother bake in that tiny kitchen for school functions and charities.

Although she never had the money to attend culinary school as she had hoped, Evie would consider herself as close to a professional baker as one could get. Decorating is her weakness, but she learned tricks and recipes passed on from her mom, and generations back. What she lacks in money she can make up for with a tiny gesture; such as a thank you box of muffins or a congratulatory cake. Although her dream would be to own a bakery someday, Evie knows better than to expect that anytime soon.

She put too many metaphorical eggs in the basket of her ex-husband; taking his word for it when he promised to support her dream and help her see it along. It ended up biting her in the ass. Evie didn't like depending on others, but thought if she could take a chance on anyone, it would be her soulmate. She intended to spend the rest of their life together paying him back. That all went flying out the window when he decided there were more viable options at his place of work and she found him in bed with one of his co-workers. It didn't matter than she only had a salary job that barely scraped the bottom of the barrel waiting tables; there was no way in hell she was going to stay there and be a doormat to him, or pretend none of it happened.

Unfortunately for Evie, he contested the divorce, forcing her to shell out more money for court. Although in the end he wound up with most of the money, Evie was able to keep the pets. He could take her money, her home, and he had long taken her dignity-- but she wasn't about to let him touch her fur babies.

After everything fell apart Evie considered fleeing back home. She knew her parents would allow her to stay there until she was back on her feet, but she had learned her lesson about dependency. It wasn't so much a matter of pride as it was survival. Evie's family had taken care of her since the day she was born. Now it was her turn to be an adult, take responsibility and fend for herself.

It was lonely, given many of her friends in Maine were mutual to her ex, but Evie preferred to stay completely cut-off from that circle. She searched for applicable jobs to her skills and ended up in the small town of Merrock. It wasn't too far away to manageably move, but enough that she could keep distance from her ex-husband and that situation. The day their divorce was finalized she felt like maybe things would be okay again.

Remembering that her childhood best friend Stelly lived in Merrock was another selling point. Evie missed her friend, even if time had gotten away from them. She yearned to back to her roots and rediscover herself, now feeling lost after the last few years of lies and belittlement. Evie was lucky to find a small apartment for rent within budget of her new jobs right in the downtown area. Nothing fancy, but quaint. It kind of reminded her of home in that sense.

By day Evie works as a Pastry Chef at Flour Co. and she spends evenings waiting tables at Cul-de-Sac Diner. The latter is far from glamorous, but it pays the bills and the employee discount is nice. She's a simple girl and love the retro atmosphere; especially when she gets to hear her idol, Elvis Presley, playing over the speakers.

#merrockbio #evangelinemiller #cheating tw

[moerevenue]

disclaimer: please do not feel sorry for me but take it as a cautionary tale of how your brain is your most precious organ

mainly because you can use the little bit of control you actually have of it to improve the function of other organs

also like most men in the closet at the time i made up a lie about having had sex with a woman when i had not. vaginas are a very complex and intimidating organ on its own and that’s not including the human that it’s attached to.

that paired with i am usually passive in bed and can only be dominant for a very niche type of man. vaginas have never done it for me. will i get drunk and be okay with kissing a girl every now and then maybe but that’s as far as it goes.

back to the story:

so my first actual penetrative sex experience was in 2018. it was a random and i took all the necessary precautions including condom use and sharing my location with a loved one.

it was okay i suppose.

the reasoning behind it happening was what was even crazier than the interaction itself. my anxiety and my mind at the time convinced me that i would die soon and that i needed to have sex before dying. so that’s what i did.

this interaction along with a few other interactions with a different person made me realize that it is quite scary the situations and dangers that an uncontrollable urge for sex can put you in.

following that realization i have been happily abstinent ever since

to that end, my heart truly goes out to heterosexual people who take on the responsibility of taking care of another life when it all started from giving into sexual urges

literally you can masturbate and be disgusted with who you thought about having sex with afterward

sexual urges in the the light of eternity are very temporary

but consequences are forever

editing: consequences is used here in its literal meaning as an effect of an action

no negative connotation is intended

[hrwinter]

pre-dating supercorp where lena knows how often kara stares at her boobs and she realises that she really enjoys eliciting that reaction from her. Basically coquettish lena who's holding back on making them an official thing bc she wants to enjoy this period of flirting and being chased after

I made this a coffee shop AU, too. I’ve never done one of those, and I feel like it should be some sort of fanfic author rite of passage.

—

“Oh shit,” Lena curses. “There she is.”

Without warning, she drops below the register, reaching indiscreetly under her shirt.

“Lena, this is becoming shameless,” Sam judges from above.

“Just block me from James, won’t you?”

The coffee shop is lax, but even Lena’s not bold enough to push their ‘uniform requirements’ to the very limit on this balmy, Tuesday afternoon.

“Why are you still torturing this poor woman? She seems nice,” Sam whines, but despite the defense, she steps in front of Lena and covers her view of their manager.

“Torture?” Lena balks, unsnapping her bra. “Please, she loves it.”

“It’s cruel.”

“Done,” she hisses a second later, ignoring Sam and plucking her bra out from under her shirt. She stuffs it unceremoniously into an empty, clean coffee cup below the counter.

Lena snaps upright just as Kara sweeps into the shop. She’s a vision in a long beige coat. Her blonde hair glows butter yellow in the dying sun. Kara’s eyes meet hers, and there’s an ephemeral smile there, a smile that’s just woken up, taken it’s first breath of something sweet, and exhaled. Then, her eyes glance down. Lena’s let her apron fall to her hips, revealing her t-shirt. It’s thin, gauzy, and borderline threadbare. It’s intentional. WhenLena poses her hands on her hips, her nipples peak through.

Kara tenses, she pinkens. She doesn’t stop walking towards the counter. She also doesn’t mark the elderly woman crossing her path. She doesn’t notice the clutched steaming hot mug of coffee, the woman’s look of rapt anticipation. Kara keeps coming, eyes still trained downward, unflapping from a clear collision course.

It’s absolute pandemonium.

“I feel guilty,” Sam says with a resigned sigh. Kara’s nearly bowled the old woman over and coffee’s splattered over the floor, the walls, like an arterial crime scene. James rushes over to help, to appease with his easy, confident smile.

“I feel like an accomplice to your crime.”

Lena merely smirks, flush with victory. She pulls her apron back up and over her shoulders.

“Your breasts need an insurance policy. Look at the mayhem they’ve caused.”

Lena watches the scene thoughtfully.

“What are the chances I could wear my apron over just my bra without getting fired?”

“Slim to none.”

“Shame.”

—

It hadn’t always been like this. It had started out fairly innocuous. Kara’s a regular. She’d been coming into The Sentient Bean like clockwork on Tuesdays and Thursdays for almost a year. She teaches for a graduate program at the campus nearby, that much Lena has figured out. She’s polite to the staff, dreamy in her comments about the pastries, and charming by all accounts. Plus, she’s gorgeous in a homegrown, corn fed, Midwest manners kind of way.

But.

Lena’s also discovered by a happy accident that Kara, the hapless lesbian, is highly prone to giving in to temptation. What started out as Lena playing absently with the long chain of her necklace on one slow afternoon at the shop quickly progressed to Lena intentionally touching her exposed collarbone. It became Lena wearing thin fabric and bright pink bras. It became mesh tops and plunging necklines. It became Kara’s complete inability to function.

What can she say? Lena enjoys Kara’s Pavlovian response.

“It’s honestly a little desperate,” Sam condemns.

“It’s called foreplay, Samantha. Understandable you haven’t heard of it, being heterosexual and all–”

“Stop talking,” Sam holds up a hand.

After that, they’re busy busing tables and whipping up cappuccinos for a few bleary-eyed, sleep deprived college students.

“Why don’t you just leave her your number?” Sam wanders back over to her, dropping dirty cups into the wash basin.

“Are you kidding? And ruin the mystery? This is the best part.”

Sam taps her finger nails on the counter, nonplussed.

“Come on,” Lena continues. “You know the second I give her my number, she’ll call, and then I’ll find out something terrible like she’s a drug addict or an art student or secretly obsessed with toe nails.”

“Or she’ll find out your last name and reject you?”

Lena doesn’t comment.

“Just let me have my fun,” she pouts.

“Fine, fine. But I’m not taking her order this time,” she shoves off the counter right as Kara enters the shop. “I feel like a voyeur with the way she watches you make her drink,” she grumbles.

Lena shrugs. Fine by her. More face time with Kara. Sam knows she’ll get elbowed in the kidney, too, if she tries to make Kara’s drink.

“Hi Kara,” Lena greets, licking her lips. Kara smiles, eyes flicking down.

“Uh-hi,” she falters hands reaching to clench at the counter as if that will keep her steady.

Lena hasn’t even worn anything too outrageous today. Just the same long silver chained necklace that started it all. It disappears into the cleavage of her tight black shirt, and she has her hair braided, all twelve ear piercings in. The sleeve of her tattoo winds up her left forearm. She’s looking innocent and modest, if you ask her.

But she can tell Kara doesn’t see it that way. There’s an awkward beat where the unfortunate soul seems to momentarily forget why she’s there.

“White mocha?” Lena supplies.

“Oh-uh-yes, please.”

Lena saunters to the espresso machine, prepping to make the drink. Her jeans are black (and tight), too. She can feel Kara’s eyes on her ass like a hot brand.

“How-how much?” Kara chokes out.

“On the house,” Lena swivels her head to smile. Kara’s eyes flick up. Lena winks.

Somewhere in the background, Sam groans.

Kara doesn’t hear it, moving to wait near the stir sticks, watching Lena’s hands work with a trained proficiency. There’s an intensity to her interest that has Lena blushing slightly, and when she goes to hand Kara the drink, their fingers brush.

“Bye Lena,” Kara waves, walking backwards. She also does a clumsy peace sign, too.

“Please put that poor girl out of her misery,” Sam whispers from behind Lena.

—

Lena’s not ready for Kara to come in on a Monday morning. She’s dressed to code. Her makeup’s not on. She’s enraptured in a heavy daytime fantasy about getting back into bed. She and Sam had gone out last night, and she can still taste the pickle shots on the back of her tongue. She has bad breath, looks like hammered shit, and probably smells like a stained bar pool table.

So, naturally, there her crush is, frazzled and positively harassed as she comes rushing up to the counter.

“Look, Lena, my sister said I just can’t wait any longer, and I was wondering if–”

Her eyes glance up for the first time, roving over Lena’s outfit.

“Why are you dressed like that?“

“Huh?” Lena asks after a beat, deciding to play dumb. “Like what?”

“You’re–you’re dressed like,” she waves her finger at the two other employees in the shop. “Everyone else.”

“What do you mean? I do work here—”

“No!” Kara nearly shouts, and Lena can’t help but let a smile break.

“So, you have been doing that on purpose?” Kara asks, sounding adorably persecuted.

“Maybe,” Lena hushes, leaning across the counter and into Kara’s personal space. She can smell a perfume then, maybe a shampoo or a lotion. Lena wants to fold herself into it forever.

Kara takes a huge breath, breathes out, and Lena can feel it on her lips.

“Go out with me.”

She smiles.

“Okay.”

#supercorp #fic #anon prompt #coffee shop AU #lena creating chaos with her assets #hr's askhole

[guqin-and-flute]

The Soup Incident [Episode 22]

Random Jin Guy: hey u know ur sister

WWX: everyone's mom? best person in the world? beset by terminal heterosexuality? rings a bell

LWJ: i'm sure this is more important than a war

Random Jin Guy: something happened with j

WWX: [overrunning other line] I MUST GO MY MEDDLING IS REQUIRED

Random Nie Guy: oop there he go

LWJ: wow this sounds serious

WWX: what horrors will i find what trauma will this compound what cruelty will i be met with also how did i know exactly where to go

WWX: OH. YOU.

JZX: gross

JYL: oh an audience perfect i'm sure this will de-escalate things

WWX: can we solve this with castration? tell me we can

JYL: no thanks i'd still like the option if it's all the same to u

WWX: it's not let me remove his body parts

JZX: like i'd let u near me u classless hellion

JYL: listen life hasn't been like the greatest lately had a lot of shitty carriage rides i'd like things to chill out and by things i mean namely u in this moment can we go now pls i have an appointment to cry into my pillow that i'm missing

WWX: omg noooo i'll behave i'm here to support u i'll be impartial

JYL: i don't believe that for a single second tho hun

WWX: impartial to how mUCH BLOOD I'M GONNA GET EVERYWHERE HOW IS IT  EVERY TIME I SEE UR STUPID FACE I HATE U MORE fuck u u piece o shit

JYL: and there it is

JZX: [angry sleeve flap of disdainful eloquence]

WWX: wtf

JYL: yeah he's good at those

JYL: honey ur not helping urself here he beat the shit out of u BEFORE he marinated in dark energy for 3 months pls use ur words and ur brain

WWX: WAT DID UR SLEEVE SAY TO ME BITCH

JYL: can we just go pls i like to not be reminded of exactly how much stupid i willingly allow into my life

WWX: but shijie M U R D E R

JYL: inexplicably i still want to marry him so no thank u

JZX: oh look mianmian's here

MM: u fuckin bet i am u dipshit

WWX: wtaf is wrong with him

MM: ok listen LISTEN i know i feel u trust me

JZX: time to return to the arrogance corner

WWX: UR YOUNG MASTER'S A BITCH

JYL: a-xian  n o

MM: no he totally is u right

JYL: well then he's MY bitch :(

MM: why do i bother to stay up late to practice conversations with u if u don't bother to try all that time wasted am i supposed to cover for u now?

JZX: bold of u to assume u can but go for it still don't know why tf ur all here just wanna eat my soup

WWX: HEY I HAVE A FUN GAME IT'S CALLED HOW MUCH OF CHENQING CAN WE FIT INTO JIN ZIXUAN quick someone pick an orifice

JYL: gross

MM: tempting

LWJ: oh hey i'm here now i walk slow oh shit the nice jiang is crying who would hurt the nice jiang?

MM: ok so u know how ur sister makes soup?

JYL: i never really stop it's a little pathological at this point maybe i should talk to someone...

LWJ: oh more heterosexual antics wei ying's achilles heel best wait outside thank god Xichen is mostly functional and gay as the day is long

MM: so she makes soup right? 2 goes to you chuckleheads and the third goes to emporer perpetual foot-in-mouth over here

JZX: [buffering]

MM: jfc why do i even try

WWX: DID HE INSULT UR  S O U P ?!

JYL: sorta i am soup and soup is me

MM: so anyway

JZX: [overrunning previous line] HOLD UP I THOUGHT RANDOM SERVANT NUMBER 62 BROUGHT ME THE SOUP THAT'S NATIVE TO YUNGMENG WHERE MY EX-FIANCE GREW UP

WWX: ur in love with an idiot

JYL: i'm in love with an idiot

MM: I STG UR HEAD IS FILLED WITH JUST HAIRBALLS AND LINT HOW ARE U STILL BREATHING

MM: SHE MAKES SOUP. SHE'S THE SOUP LADY. ASK PEOPLE WHAT THEY THINK OF  WHEN U SAY YANLI AND THEY'LL SAY KINDNESS. A N D  S O U P . and her murder-brothers but that's not the point rn

JZX: ...u made me soup

MM: i'm so fucking sorry pls marry him i need a competent woman to hang around with i'm getting dumber by the day

WWX: seriously this guy u love this guy?

JYL: xianxian pls romantic idiocy runs in our family it's practically traditional

JYL: i mean...yes i have 2 coping mechanisms; soup and crying neither of them are working rn tho help i don't unlock righteous fury until level 25

JZX: wow she made me soup

WWX: of course she made u soup  u human inner-thigh chafe show us the flashback mianmian

MM: [off screen] oh yeah that roll the tape jeeves

[ENTER FLASHBACK]

JYL: i made u soup bb

JZX: ur not servant number 62 go fuck urself

JYL: wut

[END FLASHBACK]

WWX: NO FURTHER QUESTIONS UR HONOR

Random Jin Guy Who Brought Wuxian: perhaps this was a [cursive writing] Mistake™

JZX: ouchie i can twirly fight countless puppets can't dodge a punch of the life of me cultivation jesus that's gonna leave a mark

JYL: GOD I WISH THIS WAS MORE CATHARTIC how does this always happen? who raised this kid? oh right me

Group of Random Jin Guards: we are all well intentioned but ultimately expendable extras fear us

Random Jin Guard: UNHAND HIM FIEND

WWX: cool imma write u a song it's called Don't Care Didn't Ask Gonna Kill Everyone In This Tent Over Soup in b flat tootly toot here comes the murder flute

Random Jin Guards attacked by resentful energy: [keyboard smash]

LWJ: wait hold on that's his shit starting music has shit been started?? wEi YiNg

WWX: are u prepared for the journey i'm about to send u on little man

JZX: i'm actually good here thanks

[unintelligible teenage screaming]

MM: HEY LISTEN U CAN'T DO THAT MURDER IS BAD and i still like him i sympathize but like...u can't

WWX: the semi corporeal black smoke demons that sublet my soul tell me that it's fine sooo

JYL: a-xian if u kill him now i will have put up with so much bs for n o t h i n g

LWJ: take a deep breath us ur words what in the actual hell is going on

WWX: fuck u ur not my therapist

LWJ: u do not have a therapist never has someone so clearly NOT had a therapist except maybe jiang cheng

WWX: SOUP MURDER IS GOING ON

LWJ: wut

JYL: pls understand it's just as dumb as you think

LWJ: ... i refuse to let soup related crimes of passion be something my future husband is known for u stop that

WWX: THEN I'M LEAVING

LWJ: wow

JYL: we're both in love with idiots

JZX: am i still gonna keep getting soup?

[this is a thing i do sometimes so if you would like to see more...]

Scene suggested by @nagisachan1​!! (I’m so sorry I forgot to tag/credit you when I posted this!)

#my stuff #cql crack #has the word soup lost its meaning for anyone else yet? #the transcript for this is saved under 'i'm at soup.docx' #brief summary #not so brief #oh well #I swear i'm working on the episode 4 one it's giving me HASSLES #please ignore the fact that I spelled emperor wrong i do that about half the time anyway #my edit