#and he must do it now and all alone

[shkika]

Honestly I think it's awesome, reinforces the fact they're cyborg computers and can just dump infected body parts out of the can !

Imo Pebbles may have dropped his labs first, realized he still got rot cysts crawling on parts he cannot just throw away, then started to resume giant water intakes to flush whatever clung on away. Moon collapses afterwards.

If anyone would like to give me an iterator anatomy lesson I'd actually love you so much I'm neither good enough at biology or technology stuff to know anything.

ANYWAY I don't know if there's any other part of Pebbles he has actually thrown out that we can see but hm...

I wonder if this little guy had selfish little thoughts. Not born out of malice, but fear and frustration. I mean his project has failed, everything is going WRONG.

Now.

Moon is already in a horrible state. She's not stable, she's also part of why this is happening. The water he could stop taking wouldn't do much for her, she's a lost cause.

But he's still functional. He can still try and finish his work. I mean it makes sense why he shouldn't stop. Moon will collapse anyway. While Pebbles has the chance to solve the problem still.

He was this close after all.

#ask #hohhoho im not fact checking all im saying but yes #i also need to say that the events of what happened #happened INCREDIBLY FAST #in a game where we see these robots in like such different parts of their lives #where we assume many years have passed #moons collapse happens in the span of DAYS from implications #maybe weeks #she already begins to worry about her life after pebbles has been taking water for only TWO CYCLES/roughly TWO DAYS #THESE PUTERS #CANNOT #last AT ALL without water #nobody had enough time to do anything #it was a very very scary situation #pebbles is a scared little guy trying desperately to survive #even during artificer times #he believes he can fix himself or at least find something DO SOMETHING before the rot takes over #and he must do it now and all alone #to make up for what happened #as if it would #HOHOHHOHOHO SORRY I LOVE GOING ON TANGENTS SO SORRY #kiki rambles #geeai #rain world

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means. #when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial. #the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times. #often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost. #22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes. #he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home. #can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long. #Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place. #clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves. #he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[tobi-smp]

right now, I think my current problem with the crimeboys ending is it being presented as a Happy ending, in the fandom now and the potential of that being the case in canon in the future.

the problem isn’t Just that it wasn’t earned in the arc as a whole, but that it wasn’t earned from the Tone Of The Stream Itself.

I can’t stomach seeing people talk about how Now, Now tommy’s secure in his relationship with wilbur and he feels wanted and loved and safe when the Only thing we have that’s supposed to give that us that answer is a book that wilbur wrote for him that we never get to read.

and front loading That is tommy being violently upset, crying and lashing out, because he thinks wilbur is going to kill himself again. something that he has every right to believe considering the last time he saw wilbur months ago Wilbur Was Threatening To Kill Himself.

wilbur only told tommy the truth, that he was leaving, after tommy pried it out of him. and then he Left, and Immediately after he admitted that he was avoiding tommy Deliberately because the idea of talking to him was Too Hard.

after it was stressed time and time again that all tommy wanted was honesty, all he wanted was the chance to be there with wilbur. and he got neither. their ending gave him neither.

so we headcanon that wilbur is sending tommy letters, how is tommy ever supposed to trust that wilbur is telling the truth in them. he certainly had no problem lying to phil in the lead up to the 16th. he certainly had no problem lying to tommy over and over again, until the truth came out to bite both of them.

tommy is chronically loved from the other room, and this is That taken to an extreme.

even if you read this as a soft ending, even if you ignore that dream is for sure going to try to murder and or torture tommy now that he’s alone, I cannot for the life of me understand how anybody could read this as an ending where tommy is Happy.

where he gets to be content and comfortable and feel secure in his relationships. when he opens up to someone for the first time in his entire life about the trauma he experienced and then they ghost him and leave.

wilbur Chose to leave this time, he Chose to leave tommy where it wasn’t safe, and he didn’t trust in tommy enough, have the faith in him Enough to be honest about that. to let him prepare for it emotionally. to even spend time with him in the space between the exile stream and him leaving.

wilbur has every right to leave if that’s what he has to do for himself, I’m not gonna deny that. but the idea that tommy could have Faith or Trust in their relationship going forwards is so.

“Now tommy is secure in this relationship, Now tommy knows that he is loved” does he? and if he does, what does being loved mean if nobody will ever stay?

#dream smp #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #rambling because I saw a post that hurt my feelings again #universally this ending just hurts my feelings and not in the good way #if it was on purpose that'd be one thing #but I have to sit through people writing meta about how Great this is for them #how Well tommy must be doing now that he's hurt traumatized and alone #he was forced to sail away from all of his loved ones #and now he's trapped on that shore watching the one he loves sail away from him Willingly #why isn't he worth staying for #why does nobody want him enough to keep him #what is he doing wrong that even when people love him that's not Enough

[celebregol]

so the thing about finwe is that he really loves children. he wants to have a big family and he loves his son, but he also can’t deny that he’s always wanted more kids around. so he pleads his case to the valar, he wants to marry another woman that he loves and he wants a larger family. and he gets it! he remarries, has four more children, and everything should be fine.

except it just... doesn’t feel the same? finwe is acutely aware as to what it’s like to raise a child---he’s been raising feanor on his own for a while now---and he doesn’t get the same feeling with his other children. he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s not alone now, that these children have a mother to take care of them as well, or if something in him is just wrong. or if this is some kind of latent punishment, as if he can get these children, but he can’t muster the same deep love he had with feanor with them.

sometimes, in quieter moments, he wonders if it’s his price for raising feanor. miriel died to birth him, and perhaps finwe’s cost is him being so drained of love he has barely any to give to his other children and his second wife. the thing is that he does love indis, he loves all his children, but he is also so tired. so exhausted.

he knows that considering the huge struggle he put to marry indis, this result is a disappointment. so he does the best he can, but when indis and him drift apart, he lets her (she shouldn’t have to be burdened with the elf he’s become) and when his fluctuating parenting results in some children who stick too close and some children who decide to go afar, he doesn’t reach to change them.

finwe tries to build the family he’s always wanted, he really does, but he is simply so drained. sometimes he feels more like a husk than an actual elf and he can’t help but wonder if miriel didn’t have the right idea

#c.posts #kind of at least #silmarillion #finwe #the idea here that i mentioned to radium is that there's a cost to raising feanor #miriel was so exhausted from the birth and finwe raises feanor. there must be some price to that #it's also really funny to me that this man is like i want more children! i want a big family! but then he just very readily dumps the rest #of his family to live with feanor. it's interesting to me and of course i must come up with in verse explanations as to why #hence him being drained from raising feanor #it plays out in two main ways with his other children: once feanor was grown finwe just sort of. didn't have the same energy to attend to #his not grown children. he loved them he paid attention to them as much as he could but he was still always semi distant #the other way is that finwe is exhausted in general and it shows after he marries and has more children #feanor attributes his father's exhaustion and diminishing attention to the fact that he remarried has more children but that's not it #there's also the fact that finwe doesn't know how to do anything with someone else. he's a leader alone. he raised a child alone. he has no #siblings. he doesn't know what it's like to share responsibility and he's tired now which makes the process harder #so he fluctuates between distant and smothering #he's overbearing especially when he recognizes he's been distant and it's him trying to make up for it #in general i do think all his children have different relationships with their father #feanor is obviously very close to him; i think findis is close by being virtue of the first new child; fingolfin and lalwen aren't as close #to him but fingolfin really wants finwe's attention while for lalwen it doesn't matter as much #i think finarfin has the most distant relationship. finwe wanted to get it right with each new child and finarfin was a commitment (hence #arafinwe) but then whoops. distance happened more than the smothering #anyways wanted to put this out there before the art comes along

[isekyaaa]

Reading the spoilers of otome light novels always be like, "Wow, people really hate men."

#rambles #I KNOW I COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS A LOT OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE #I JUST........... #NUANCE #PEOPLE HATE NUANCE AND IT SUCKS #PEOPLE HATE COMPLEXITY #AND MOSTLY #people hate stereotypical tropey men that are specifically written that way for the trope #'i hate how possessive and dismissive he is of mc!!!' #it's the same level of idiocy as going to the circus and being mad at the clowns #if you want to read a story about the perfect politically correct male lead find some chronically online girl's book on tiktok #like look okay let me be honest here #when i go to isekai manhwa as my medium of entertainment choice i embody those middle aged women reading smutty novels abt guys named knut #i don't go in expecting quality okay i'm not an idiot #i go in expecting a specific fix to be filled #and if that specific fix is a possessive dismissive male lead then by the almighty god himself one must do as one must #now let me be clear like.... i am complaining about two things here #one: readers don't like nuanced complex men #two: readers do not like genre-specific stereotypical men #these two things are not the same okay #possessive stereotypical men are not nuanced or complex... BUT BY JOVE THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO EXIST #SHITTY STEREOTYPICAL MEN ARE JUST AS ENJOYABLE AS NUANCED AND COMPLEX MEN #it's so funny that people go into otome manhwa expecting q u a l i t y #this is the modern woman's equivalent of those trashy novels our grandmothers read #we are no better than them #i really just want to go into reading spoilers where everyone is on the same page of 'okay so we all just have terrible taste amiright' #tho tbh writing all of this i should be more forgiving of people that love crappy reader-inserts on this website #but lmao no i am not i have way better taste than they ever will whoops u//w//u

[princessconsuelapark]

gungi, a child, who

- traumatically had his entire family slaughtered

- is currently being hunted and treated as something to be SOLD

- desperately seeking out his home planet, he knows barely anything about, and only remembers from DREAMS, and NOT EVEN WHAT VILLAGE HE COMES FROM

finds a village of his own kind slaughtered and burnt to ashes and the sight forces him onto his knees, symbolising the hopelessness of ever finding a place of belonging ever again ??? dave, my kind sir, pray tell WHAT THE FUCK

#the bad batch #gungi #the bad batch spoilers #star wars #i was near tears the whole episode #the order really had no contingency plan for all these kids huh #they grew up SO FUCKING SHELTERED can you imagine how isolated it must feel ??? #having to go out in a world you never navigated on your own and SURVIVE #dave filoni YOU MONSTER #i loved how while gungi seems to have found some peace with these folks #they didn't make a point of showing him overjoyed or immediately fitting in !! #he doesn't know them !!!! doesn't know any of the cultural norms or whatever !!! #he was so sweet copying what everyone else did with the trees looking to check if he was doing it right !!! #and like he is SUCH a jedi constantly lightsabering even when he's told it draws way too much attention !!! #it's what's normal to him it's who he is !! #also! while wookies had a great relationship with the jedi i can imagine gungi meeting with some prejudice given wookie jedi are super rare #just a thought #like he must just feel so alone because he doesn't really belong anywhere now does he #not even on kashyyk :( #it just makes me so sad #and! not being able to speak basic and not everyone immediately understanding him must isolate him even further right? #i mean language barriers are not a super big deal in star wars most of the time #but on some level it must come with some frustration #HE IS JUST A CHILD MR FILONI HOW COULD YOU #i just love gungi a lot okay #my post #blake watches the bad batch

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!' #'i wouldnt lie to you!' #okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time. #its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!' #yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up. #i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up. #and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense. #shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else. #im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that. #and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares. #and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look? #then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness. #SORRY RANT OVER. #im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric. #tw homophobia #tw transphobes

[strifethedestroyer]

my uncle died. hm

this is the first time i've ever reached the tag limit. the last word is meant to be funeral.

#text #interesting experience #i mean it was expected he's been suffering for a couple of months now. he got a lot better at one point and everyone was like woo you're- #-gonna survive! you're not gonna be like before but you're not gonna die but eh voila he died #like a week ago he was sent to the hospital because his kidneys just failed and the doctors said nah dude he's on his deathbed. better #just die at home rather than dying in the hospital alone so they took him home and they've been waiting ever since and here we are #personally i barely know shit about the guy. he used to deliver us bread and he shook my hand once and smiled at me. radiated a good aura #but i dont know anything. dad says he really respected and loved my brother and i so ill take his word for it #but man for the past like month its all you hear about. like i dont mean this in a derogatory way i completely understand dont get me wrng #but its just death death death all around #an hour or so ago i was walking my dog with my mom and brother and i just said i wonder if uncle's died yet #20 minutes afterwards my mom gets a call that he's died. uncle was in a different room from the rest of the family so they couldnt know #exactly when he died (we went to visit at about 5 pm today and he was alive but asleep) but my parents think it must have been around when #i said that. dad's superstitious and all and says that uncle sent me a sign. like i said apparently uncle loved me a lot. im not #superstitious but i'll take his word for it - uncle sent me a sign before he died. #i feel a little bad now. he seemed like a good man. im just replaying my only memory of him - that time when he shook my hand and smiled #like smiled very brightly. he and grandma look so alike. like ofc they do they're siblings but they look so alike #im very worried for my parents and grandma though. #espechially grandma. she's been at his house almost all week becuase she knew his time was soon #when we visited today we were supposed to pick her up and bring her home and then return her tomorrow but once we arrived she apparently #said (idk i didnt go inside i just wandered outside and pspsed at cats #that she didnt want to come home becuase he was very ill. she knew man she knew. #i dont know how she's going to handle this i just hope she'll be okay we'll do what we can to help her #i hope my parents are going to be okay too. me and my mom's relationship is rocky and i dont like my dad much #my dad returned from europe yesterday to stay with us for a month and i was really not looking forward to it. i always dread his visits #like dont get me wrong i love him just like im supposed to i just dont like him very much #but nonetheless i hope they'll be okay #as far as i know my brother also didnt know my uncle very well so i dont think i have to worry about him #he and i will just have to do our best to support our family i guess #about like 30 minutes ago my parents left for uncle's house and they'll return early morning tomorrow and then go back immidietaly for the

[code-dy]

Wouldn't it be hilarious if during the time Thorin worked as a blacksmith, he ended up marrying Bilbo for his money but Bilbo ended up agreeing to the marriage because the blue mountains is prime mushroom farming estate and the dwarrow just doesn't see the value to it? Like, they're both golddiggers who thinks the other is their sugardaddy or something and they both feel really guilty for only marrying the other for their material possession.

A slow burn fic where they slowly fall in love with one another but feels supper guilty in doing so.

Bilbo, who probably has gift-giving as his love language, keeps on buying things for Thorin and Thorin being super guilty about taking advantage of Bilbo's generosity and is now panicking that maybe Bilbo will stop supporting him financially when Bilbo finds out that he only married him for his money.

Thorin, who probably has acts-of-service or quality time as his love language, spends more time with Bilbo doing menial tasks and just is always there and Bilbo being super guilty that he's taking advantage of Thorin's "genuine feelings" to get access to those mushrooms that made all the other hobbits green with envy and is now panicking that maybe Thorin might stop his mushroom gathering privilegea once Thorin picks up on the real reason that he said yes to him.

Also dwarrow and hobbit cultural difference and miscommunication on what they value the most (dwarrow thinking that mushrooms as a courting gift is just scandalous, while hobbits thinks that giving money is akin to buying someone's affection or something)

#the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #anyways i just really like the thought of husbands falling in love #and them trying to court each other while they're already married #thorin shoving a basket of mushrooms at bilbo coz he heard hobbits like plants being like /i only have this/ #hobbits twittering to each other about how rich and romantic thorin is to spoil bilbo like that #while the dwarrow just despair about how low their king has fallen #bilbo seeing that basket and saying /marry me/ to thorin #then bilbo buying the most expensive ring at the mathom house which probably doesnt cost a lot coz yknow hobbits #bilbo presenting it to thorin and being like /heard you like stones/ #the dwarrow thinking about dang the size of that gem! wish that was me #hobbits tsking and chattering about how desperate bilbo must be for love. poor lad #he's been alone in that hole for years. desperate time for desperate people yknow #thorin being like /i already have the venue/ and doing mental calculations on how much money he could mooch of bilbo #this all came to mind while i was watching a documentary on why truffles are so expensive #im going to sleep now #no i wont be writing this into a fic #I'm barely literate in this language lmao #but if anyone wants to write it #send me a link when u do

[cak31ssuperi04]

1bitJanuary Day 16- Sports Strike 3

#1bitheart #1bh #Akashi Oihara #Nobody cares about Akashi but I care about Akashi #Sorry king #he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone #I was going to split the challenge into two parts and do the rest in february but now that I'm on 16 I must see it all the way through #Cakeart

[emotionally-enervated-conagher]

Sometime in the late hours of the night, where the stars danced above the vastness of the New Mexico desert, Dell had left.

(cw: sleeping pills, depressing thoughts of death)

Most of his belongings still resided at the base, a sign that he would return eventually, but he couldn’t bring himself to stay at the base, his state of mentality eating him alive.

He needed to clear his thoughts.

So he headed to the nearest town around, a town that was once well acquainted with the mercenaries back in the Gravel Wars.

Dell slowly drove by the town’s bar, light shining from within the building as the saloon dwindled with its late night patrons. The old mercenary couldn’t help a small smile that formed on his lips as he remembered the countless times the boys had gotten kicked out for causing a ruckus each time they went.

His smile soon faded as he drove on, heart aching as he gripped the steering wheel. Those days were gone.

Dell pulled up to the town’s cheap motel, parking his truck near the front, it being one of the few cars in the parking lot. With rarely any tourism to bring people to this town, Dell considered it a miracle the motel was still open for business.

Soon enough, Dell let out a weary sigh as he opened the door to his assigned motel room on the second floor, grimacing as the stale smell of the room hit him, but he went in regardless, locking the door behind him. He tossed the dufflebag he had brought with him onto the bed and collapsed next to it, the old springs of the mattress creaking at the weight.

He shucked off his boots and tossed then haphazardly on the floor, not caring where they went as he buried his face into the blankets. The bed was dingy and the covers were scratchy, but it was still better than the recliner.

Like clockwork, Dell felt his heart rate quicken as his thoughts began gnawing at him, right on queue. The man squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut them out, but it was as useless as covering a water leak in a rowboat with his bare hands.

The most recent events hit him first; Sylvester and that damn robotic bird. He meant no true intent to harm in what he said to the bird, just to get it to shut up, but Dell couldn’t shake the look Sylv had given him, how he had reacted.

He scared Sylvester. Sylvester was scared of him.

Tears sprung to Dell’s eyes, the guilt nearly suffocating him, feeling panic claw at his lungs as his breathing contracted.

He couldn’t have another attack now, he couldn’t-

The man sprung up and snatched his dufflebag, ripping it open and rummaging through it in a desperate manner.

It was in here somewhere, he knew he packed it-

His hand felt the familiar plastic of a bottle and pulled it out, the pills inside jostling noisily as Dell popped open the lid, shoving a tablet into his mouth. He slammed the pill bottle onto the nightstand and snagged a pillow, burrowing his head into it, desperately trying to escape his thoughts as he waited for the Triazolam to take effect.

DDON'T SSAY THHINGS LLIKE THHAT

Ah didn’t mean it-

IIF II MMAKE AANOTHER MMISTAKE, YYOU WWON'T TTAKE MME AAPART, WWILL YYOU?

No, ah would never Sylv, ah wouldn’t-

You’ve done nothing but hurt everyone since you came back. You shouldn’t have come back.

Ah jus’ wanted to set things right, ah jus’ wanted to see them again-

That Respawn would have failed if Ludwig hadn’t stepped in. Don’t you see? You aren’t meant to come back. You aren’t meant to be here.

The black tendrils of sleep started to pull Dell under as the medication took effect, but his mind made sure to punish him until the end.

It should have been you that the Respawn machine failed with instead of Jane all those years ago, Dell.

…Ah know.

#heed the cw warning! #but uh yeah :’] #im so sorry JDJFJJAA #dell will be back eventually #he just has very big demons fo fight #prob can’t do it alone but cant bring himself to talk about it with anyone else bc he doesnt want to be a burden #also feelin guilty as fuck #thinks he is causing all this bad stuff due to his return #domino effect or somethin #but yeah :’3 #im so sorry dell but you must get worse before getting better #sorry i dont make the rules hehe #for right now I’d say Dell is not available to stuff happening on the base but #im totally fine if someone wants to track him down ^^ #kinda have a plan of what i wanna do but its bare bones rn #emotionally xyz mercs #emotionally enervated conagher #coffeetalks

[blissfali]

THEY DID NOT MAKE SKY ZONE FOR THE FAT PEOPLE

#The first thing i did was go on the diving thingy into the foam pit and i got STUCK IN THE PIT #AND THE WORKER SPENT LIKE 5 MINUTES TRYING TO GET ME OUT #AND I WANTED TO GO AGAIN BUT WHEN I LOOKED DOWN THE DROP AND I SAW THE SQUARES OF SOFT FLUFFY MATERIAL #MY LIFE FLASHED BEFORE MY E YE S #How could this happen to me #i had fun i think im done now tho i didnt do much but must of it is just foam pits and i dont wanna go in there again #It was traumatizing guys i was like ctommy in exile #How he had the fucking BALLS of STEEL to jump off that tower #Tje drop was only 6ft but i wanted to kill myself #Every step i took i just sunk further #my brother told me before how i could suffocate as joke #And all i could think about was what if i cant get out what if im stuck here forever #it wasnt the embarrassment that deterred me it was the idea alone of not having the ability to pull myself out #how can i turn this into a metaphor for ctommy. #something something carrying the dead weight of himself out of the pit with his scars and all being a symbol for all the trauma hes faced #Uhh something something someone is holding your hand trying to pull you out but none of it matters in the end #Sorry.for using my ptsd from skyzone to fuel my ctommy meta. Um

[strayskinny]

today was actually so awful i hate everything,,,,,,

#so last night i had an emotional b!ngl bc i was upset about my pet #so i paid the price this morning bc i v0mited three times bc my body could not handle that much food n i needed to get that shit out #i don’t even p*the that was just my body’s natural response lol #and bc i had to take my pet to the vet to see if there’s literally anything we could do to help him #i wasn’t able to eat or drink anything so i finally made some miso soup n ate a bun bc that’s was the first piece of bread i could find lol #that was like 3hrs ago maybe n now i’m picking on some freeze dried bananas #but the flavor is literally so concentrated bc of the freeze drying i can only eat a few #oh and the vet has no idea what’s wrong with him and bc he’s a small animal it’s really hard to check to see if somethings wrong #like they can’t even do bloodwork bc his veins are so hard to find bc of how tiny he is #but hes literally lost so much weight n idk why idk what happened it was so sudden i can feel all his bones :((((( #they said there’s no real way of knowing what could’ve happened or caused this but the gave us antibiotics to try but i’m not very hopeful #she said it could be organ failure bc she said his kidneys felt very small and he was dehydrated #but that’s not a diagnosis bc there’s no way of confirming if that’s what’s wrong #she suggested we think about saying goodbye to him…. #it fucking hurts so bad man bc he’s always been such a sweet n cuddly boy n he doesn’t deserve to suffer like this #he’s so weak n i’m trying my best to help him by giving him all his fav treats n feeding him critical care n giving him medicine #but it just doesn’t seem to be enough #i hate it man i really do i hate seeing him like this bc ik he must be suffering n i feel so helpless bc there’s nothing more that i can do #n i think his cage mate knows somethings up too bc he’s been very attentive to him recently n he’s been grooming n cuddling with him #and that breaks my heart even more bc he’s gonna be alone soon n he won’t know where his friend went #god i hate it so much #anyway now i’m crying again so that’s cool major slay ahahahaha