#and i know some of us don't talk much

[diamondsheep]

Happy Birthday to the Best Cook Ever 💛💛💛

#look i know that i talk about Zoro all the time but you guys don't know how much i love Sanji #he is actually one of the reasons why i started watching One Piece and i just LOVE drawing him #i have like 100 drawings of the curly cook <333 #anyway happy birthday to this idiot that has bringed me so much joy and has made me cry so fucking much (*looks at Sanji's Backstory*) #ily sanji thank you for being one of my favorite characters ever 💛💛💛 #hmm i'm gonna tag this as sanji week bc i used some prompts as inspiration lol #also do guys like individual posts with individual drawings ? or batches like this one are ok ??? bc i can post these individually ? #one piece #sanji #sanji week #blackleg sanji #black leg sanji #one piece sanji #sanji one piece #my drawings #sanji op #one piece fanart #i guess that otoko is here too lol #otoko #toko #diamondsheep art #my art #aww i just sentimental about this fool and bc i drew him in basically all his life stages ? 😭💛✨

[statementlou]

hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?

ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever

#I did start to try to deep dive before I realized it was too much #but I was reminded that when Louis was doing txf as a judge while fizzy was struggling #many people thought he had been pressured somehow into it; later when we knew what had been going on people were like #oh maybe he just wanted to be close to home to deal with fizzy stuff or somethng #but also: keeping fizzy stuff quiet would potentially be the info we didn't have at that time that could answer that q too of what they use #given the DW🤝simon jones🤝simon cowell cursed connections #(for the newbies: simon jones aka DWs bestie is Louis' publicist for no apparent reason even now long after he has gotten free of the rest #of the modest/syco/simon cowell shitshow) #anyway another example of story trading in our fandom is zayn's baby sister's teen pregnancy #which was known to the fandom early on but kept super quiet by respectful fans- during this time Z did some unprecedented actual interviews #for no obvious reason #and then iirc pretty much the day she turned 17 a very lowkey article reported on her marrying her bf and mentioning a pregnancy #but as if it was recent not like 7 months along #and even when she gave birth soon after it was all kind of... glossed over and around and not reported until a little later #blah blah blah #I felt like it was weird to talk about this for some reason but when I thought about it #I don't know if it matters. Like maybe talking about him not being a dad and being gay or whatever at all is bad #but assuming we're doing that anyway. why not talk about the struggles around that #and the creeps holding it over his head #dan wootton

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? #and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all) #i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”? #how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times? #also like #being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues #if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices #“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already #like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios #and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people” #yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent #by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else #like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much? #some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows #and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way #im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me” #WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY #AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS #anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist #you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up? #congratulations thats how most people see us #now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much #dunmeshi hell thoughts #weird rant i suppose #dungeon meshi #laios touden

[gasstationpopcorn]

youtube

#joker out #kris guštin #kris gustin #jo:g #mine #what cracks me up is that lil tv program really said we only care about royal couple over here #so let us take a cool shot of miha's kid doing his thing being a princess and then let us #include a weirdly angled shot of bojan on stage taking money from some guy #they truly said babes we know u r going to esc but be so fucking for real rn u only have one (1) nepobaby on your side and #some unwashed dude in a burlap (sack) shirt she picked up on the street #and three men who don't talk much one of them is new so we are not even including him in the frame #i live love laugh

[prismatic-starstuff]

okay was anyone going to tell me that ascended Astarion calls MC 'little love' and 'my treasure' in the smoothest most sultry voice I've ever heard or was I just supposed to get absolutely smacked around the head with that knowledge myself—

#/copypasta #baldur's gate iii spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #bgiii spoilers #i have. thoughts and feelings. about ascended astarion. #but i don't know how to properly communicate them #so i'll make another post uhhhhhh someday somewhen at some point alsmalxnxmxns #i deeply love and sincerely care for astarion in any form that astarion comes in; that's my main takeaway from my research so far #even if i vastly prefer the other ending because it is very much generqlly better and healthier for him #i love astarion and this includes after the ascension #and also... maybe i just haven't seen enough to make an accurate assessment but #i was led to believe that he basically stops treating mc like a person but from what i've seen... he doesn't do that? #like— yes he gets unhealthy and possessive #but he still talks to them affectionately and still actively wants them with him and still wants to be with them #idk i've probably missed some crucial scenes; i've only just started looking into this ending #lemme go ahead and stop rambling now ALSKSKALCNSMC #*generally #dear god tumblr let us edit tags please—

[sacrus]

Honestly I kinda don't get why we distinguish f!Cell/q!Cellbit and not q!Cell/q!Cellbit since we already have the different nicknames to know which is which

So I think that a good change would be to switch to q!Cell when we're talking about the Cell that is canon to QSMP and f!Cell when talking about Cell that is only canon to Fuga Impossivel since there are quite signficant deifferences between them like:

q!Cell: ate Pac's leg, met Bad before Alcatraz and escaped the island (since now he's on Quesadilla Island)

f!Cell: didn't eat Pac's leg (I'm pretty sure that detail was added later on to the canon but during QSMP so according to Fuga Impossivel it never happened), never met Bad (I don't know 100% because I didn't watch it ngl) and he technically might have as well died on that island

And these are basically key points in q!Cellbits backstory

Also pls correct me if i'm wrong about something i haven't actually watched it

#not original ive definitly seen it talked about #its not like 'guys. stop RIGHT NOW' but mote like 'hey i pay too much attention' #and also i kinda don't like that both thr name and the indicatiom are diff #like it bugs me for some reason becasue if you didn't know you may as well assume they're two diff chracters #but its more like wishful thinking than anything else like ive already grown used to it #and i dont mind it THAT much #its a little detail that i just needed to say somewhere or else id explode #qsmp #cellbit #qsmp cellbit #q!cellbit #f!cell #q!cell #fuga impossível #theos bullcrap

[corfisers]

two weird things that happen to me more often than i'd like and feel like they are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum: forgetting that i do actually speak two languages and forgetting that some people who post here in english speak only english

#the latter is usually when there's some post on linguistics or just like?? a thing with eng being passed as universal??? #don't have any examples off the top of my head unfortunately #but sometimes you read a post and get this “oh you never had to grapple with concepts that are not applicable to your first language” feel #this isn't me trying to shame anyone who speaks one language btw you're fine as long as you're not being an asshole #to people who's eng isn't perfect or have some weirdly strong opinions on translation or languages in general #while not having any actual knowledge you know? #whatever idk how much sense i'm making #forgetting that i speak rus has more to do with how used i am to using eng. to the point that i mostly think in it #kinda sucks if i'm being honest? i'm rereading idiot and went to look up eng translation for a chapter because i wanted to post something #and augh it's not the same! it's not the same. might be just not the best translation fuck if i know but still #but yeah i barely use rus outside of talking to someone irl (rarely happens) or reading a book. it's weird #benvey tag

[sergle]

also I know ppl hate vetting ingredients, but also want to know what I mean when I say Bad Ingredients, and I’m generally talking about the stuff that’s pretty high on the “might irritate skin” to “I WILL give you cancer and that IS A PROMISE” scale. this is the list I refer to when ingredient checking

Fragrance / Parfum Butylphenyl Methylpropional Butylparaben / Benzylparaben Isobutylparaben / 2-Methylpropyl Methylparaben / Methyl Ester / 4-Hydroxybenzoic Acid Ethylparaben Propylparaben Octinoxate / Ethylhexyl Methoxycinnamate / 2-Ethylhexyl / DEHP DMDM Hydantoin Diazolidinyl Urea / imidazolidinyl urea Almond Fragrancealpha-Isomethyl / Ionone / Laurel Fragrance Oleth-10 Ammonium Chloride Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone Cocamide DEA / Coconut Diethanolamide Selenium Sulfide Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate Laureth-23 / Laureth / Laureth-3 / Laureth-12 / Laureth-10 / Laureth-4 / most of the laureths with a number after them

#I know everyone hates it when I talk about irritants and carcinogens in beauty products. hey. I don't care. It's 3am #and I used to get hives every time I showered and now I don't. explain that atheists #there are one or two on here that are less bad and some that are basically biohazards and I'm amazed that #they get put into products that are meant to go all over your skin #but I try and avoid all of them if I can... #I know fragrance is difficult to avoid but it's the Mystery Boy bc fragrance itself isn't ingredient #so much as it is a catch-all term for a mixture of [redacted] used to make the fragrance #so it automatically is suspicious bc its ingredients are essentially Legally Undisclosed and I don't trust like that #so a lot of the stuff I try to go for is unscented completely #it just takes the guesswork out for me #sergle.txt #you can google these individual ingredients if you want to look more into exactly what risks they bring to the table #but this is just My List

[coquelicoq]

crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot

#just tracing like. the sequence of events that had to take place in order for this to come to pass #1. natori and his shiki are skulking around homura stalking ban. possibly it's just his shiki and natori is elsewhere. #either way 2. natsume shows up and natori learns about it either bc he witnesses it or a shiki comes to tell him #3. natori gets in his little richard scarry apple car (this is my mental image for some reason) & fucking. BOOKS IT to the matoba compound #4. goes inside. presumably matoba lackeys try to stop him bc their boss is in an important meeting but somehow he gets past them #(possibilities here are v fun to think about. maybe natori does this all the time and they're used to it. maybe he's never done it before #but they're all on orders to let natori in if he ever shows up. maybe natori convinces them he's supposed to be IN the meeting #which is great because it sounds like some important clan thing so what is he in the clan now??) #5. interrupts matoba's meeting like 'i need you' and matoba's like 'bye everyone whatever this is is more important' #6. they get in natori's comical apple car (again the apple car is not canon don't worry about it) #& natori drives like a bat out of hell back to homura. (SOURCE: matoba is so scarred he refuses natori's offer for a ride later) #i wonder what they talk about on the way there? because they don't talk about why natori is stalking ban until much later #so they must be busy talking about something else. but what?? #that or they're both too distracted by all the near-death experiences from natori's crazed driving lol #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #homura cats arc #horrible exorcists #my posts #sidenote i feel like that page at the end where both matoba and sensei refuse natori's offers of a ride is really funny because #sensei's reason is that it will take too long. but sensei did you know natori drives like a speed demon? think it thru... #also like. how long did it take him to decide to involve matoba? was that his backup plan all along? #also it's pretty lucky that he found matoba at all considering he could be anywhere...the matoba have like 15 houses... #he has matoba's schedule memorized lol #natori sparkling to the assorted clan members in the meeting: sorry ladies and gentlemen i just need to borrow this~ #*throws matoba over his shoulder and fireman-carries him to the parking lot*

[theotherrichardpapen]

...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.

#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it . #but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk #woe unfinished post be upon ye #honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness #by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night #enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night #and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him #i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two #a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard #but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps #no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him #he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that #anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment. #like minds #murderous intent #nigel colbie #alex forbes #nigel colbie x alex forbes #edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!! #thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john #and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand #but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them #do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see #i need to get some sleep

[cerise-on-top]

Rudy with a jealous s/o? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED THISS

Hello! Here you go!

Rodolfo with a Jealous!S/O

The moment he sees you’re jealous he’ll chuckle a bit but also be a bit worried. It’s nice to see that you like his attention enough to want it most of the time, but would he really be able to calm you down from your frenzy? He most likely could, but the worry is still there. At first he’d be a bit apprehensive about approaching you, especially if you’re being snappish and keep hinting at you being mad at him for spending time with someone that wasn’t you. If this doesn’t happen very often he wouldn’t know what to do, but if you’re a very jealous person and it keeps happening then he’ll have a talk with you. It’s not particularly fair to him that you always snap at him whenever he spends time with his teammates or friends, so he’ll sit you down and discuss your behavior and how you can both improve yourselves. Communication is very important to him.

If you don’t get jealous as often, then he’ll approach you after a bit and ask you what’s wrong. It’s up to you whether or not you honestly respond to him, but he’d much prefer you being upfront and honest with him. He won’t really know too well what to do if you just keep lying to him, pretending that you’re alright. Rodolfo will, however, take you to a secluded place if you’re out somewhere together and just talk to you. While he may not be the biggest fan of PDA, he would give you a small kiss, either on your lips or your cheeks, maybe even a hug if you’re especially mad, and apologize to you. He knows it likely isn’t his fault, but maybe an apology could calm you down. If it’s late and he’s been with his friends for a while now anyway then he could make time to just leave, especially if nothing important is going on anymore and the main events and conversation topics are over. However, if he has to stay for a bit longer, then he’ll apologize again, but promises you that you’ll be going back home soon enough.

Once you’re back home all of his attention is on you, if you want that. If you prefer to be left alone then he will let you be, but will check up on you once every hour and ask if you’re doing alright. But if you don’t want that then he’s more than happy to talk with you, or spend time with you in general. You wanna cuddle? Play a video game? Bake some cookies? He’s not opposed to any of those things. Because, truth be told, you being mad but quiet sort of scares him. He has to deal with loud, angry soldiers almost on a daily basis, so he knows how to put someone in their place if they’re being openly aggressive. Therefore you being so quiet is very worrisome and he’ll be on edge this entire time. As soon as you laugh again he knows he did something right, though. That’s the goal: To get you to calm down and smile, maybe laugh even. But he knows that, at the very least, it will likely be over by the time you both wake up again in the morning. If he can, then he’ll spend the next day with you. Or at least as much of it as he can.

#cod #cod x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x reader #at first I thought I had already written something like this but no it was jealous!rodolfo and not jealous!reader. hopsie #as someone who gets jealous very easily I sort of vibe with this even if I don't condone snapping at someone just because of it #I used to get jealous when my ex would talk to someone that wasn't me. which happened a lot during school #but then again I also felt suffocated whenever he did spend time with me so I'm glad we broke up #Rodolfo would make for a much much better boyfriend. I'm not into men at all but I'd give him a chance in all honesty #he's a sweetheart. he's attentive. he knows how to cook. he knows when to be quiet. he's introverted #what else could someone want? #I do HC him to be more into men than women though. being in a poly relationship with him and Alejandro must be bomb though #they level each other out. Ale is more outgoing while Rudy prefers to stay home #perfect equilibrium. I wanna go on a hike with the two of them they'd be so proud of me. I also wanna hear them speak Spanish at me #I don't know the language at all but it's probably lovely to hear. especially something that isn't “pendejo” #they'd be two absolute sweethearts together to each other and to their s/o #maybe if I ever find the time I'll write some poly AleRudy HCs with a reader #I'm such a sucker for poly relationships. Since I'm poly myself naturally

[statementlou]

why do you talk about Louis using blue and green signalling as if it isn't about Harry, that what the blue and green are- do you not believe in larrie?

short answer for the reading challenged trolls to cut down on asks yes I am a larrie, not that anything is wrong with not being one. But longer (much more interesting imo) answer: We know H and L were together, but no one really knows if they are still or again- I personally mostly believe that they are, but I get why people don't think so and can't see any reason to get pressed about it. But you make a solid point- blue and green and certainly things like Louis wearing the H shirt don't potentially signify anything other than larry right? Well that's what makes it so interesting to me- I kind of don't think Louis IS using those things that way! As my recent anon pointed out (and I agree) he wants people to think he is Freddie's dad, he is not presently trying to be perceived as gay in the face of people trying to force him in the closet- he is in charge of his image and is choosing to publicly put forward that he is a guy who got someone pregnant and dates women. And I do think him and H are together, but I don't think he particularly wants to talk to us about that, if that makes sense? But I believe he does want to connect with his beloved fans on a more personal level, to revel in the acceptance and love and shared wink, I know you know I know, me and you until the end, our eyes meet, together we're the greatest- and I think he uses the larry imagery to do that, rather than to talk about his relationship. I could do this for days he gives us SO MANY examples to choose from but just to pick one: the all blue and green lighting for All This Time. Think about it- if he actually had images of a rainbow flag on the screens at his shows or waved one or something, it would make the articles and press and be a whole thing and revive every rumor ever about him in every tabloid! But if he makes the entire lighting and screens for a song blue and green (or wears a shirt with a giant H on it or any of the other one million coded things he does), well so what? No journalist would think a thing of it, nothing to see here- but the larrie majority of his fanbase hears him saying "you were right about everything and yes I am gay and I love you for seeing it" and go completely bananas! It's fucking ingenious tbh, SBB at his finest! And the fact that the song he chose for his current unhinged bluegreener fest was All This Time was for me the thing that really cemented this theory for me; I know some people disagree, but to me that song reads as being about him being closeted and his public life and the fans and choosing this lighting for that rather than for like We Made It or something really feeds my conviction that he is bluegreening on main as a way to tell us that he is gay rather than to tell us anything about his personal relationship. TLDR yeah I DO think he is signaling, a lot, but I don't think it tells us anything about the status of his relationship with Harry or anyone else and the reasons I think they are together don't have anything to do with Louis' stage lighting choices, but also that means I don't think it makes sense to say he's not signaling anything ever because you don't think they're together; both can coexist and I think it's just weird to act like he's not making pretty clear choices

#yeah yeah like I said I know some people disagree and think ATT is about harry #but that's true about literally anything he's ever written (which is annoying tbh) and I just don't agree ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry #none of us know for sure! your take is as valid as mine! but this is mine #SBB #this is just about Louis harry blue greens and other things like mad too but with him #well I don't feel the same tbh #I think he is talking about Louis specifically much more often #but then his situation around what people think and what he wants them to think is different so there ya go

[sysig]

How is skeleton shaped (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Papyrus #Sans #Some redraws! I just don't feel like scanning the originals so they'll stay contextless for now lol #I apparently used to draw Papyrus' scarf/cape with a little squiggly bit down the middle of his chest as well :0 I think it looks silly now #The donk-pecks I was talking about! :D Give your sibling a family kiss ♪ As much as skeletons can anyhow lol #Papyrus was being silly and then leaned down fully expecting it lol - another thing smol and I do a lot haha #Sometimes doing the cat thing of headbutting for attention lol #Sad skele doodles! Oh no! D: Best boy is the saddest around </3 #I used to draw Papyrus' mouth as having teeth behind his teeth so I gave it another go - I think I'm good on it now lol I like his weird jaw #I don't know if I based the original eye-glows off anything specific :0 I wasn't as particular about my notes back then haha #He is still very fun to draw crying tho poor lad :') #Originally the second one of Papyrus with his eyes glowing had Sans comforting him with a forehead donk - even in this redraw! #But I got the angle wrong so I removed him and then had brainworms about it lol #Something something the player (the artist) controlling the appearance/experience and moving the pieces (the characters) around as they like #I already know all that! I've been metaphorically playing with dolls for years years years! It just never stops being weird #It's like being aware of my own breathing and blinking - it's ''natural'' and normal and there's obviously nothing wrong with it lol #There's just a level of awkward....Feeling surrounding awareness lol - intentionality! It's not like I can stop just because I'm aware of it #It's just so whimsical /neutral - if Sans had turned out how I wanted him to he'd be there comforting his brother! But because I... #As stated I have brainworms please excuse me lol #The level of weird feels between the various mediums is really interesting to me tho :) Being a player or reader or watcher or artist! #They all feel different - more or less in control of what happens to them and yet never fully without culpability hehe #Obviously as an artist it feels the most in control - even to my own empathetic detriment! (It's not that serious lol) #The difference between being a player and a reader is a lot closer than being a watcher tho imo it's like a spectrum of responsibility #Though that's kinda also just how I feel about media consumption in general lol - I guess one of those is technically media production #Anyway! Lol #I don't know where I got the idea that his hoodie is two-tone other than the separation of his pockets? #It is a cute design! Dunno if I'll keep it going forward just for convenience but I'm not mad about it lol

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals. #definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in. #i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime- #-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting- #-of things like this. #making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird. #people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing. #and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm. #maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know. #all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that. #why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at. #sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

[uncanny-tranny]

"The world isn't a safe place, so get used to it!"

Man, as somebody who's survived multiple, long-lasting instances of abuse from a very young age, I was under the impression that the world was, indeed, so safe and conforming to my desires. I'm practically stunned to learn that this is not the case, and I have been severely humbled

(Sarcasm fully intended)

#mental health #mental health advocacy #abuse apologia #trauma #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #if your response to somebody talking about trauma is to go 'the world isn't safe!' that is a reflection on you; not the world #and if the world isn't safe because of human action: we can change our behaviour #not only is this abuse apologia but it is also kind of... lazy #and i *hate* the word 'lazy' but it's simply the only word i have to convey how asinine the whole 'get used to it!!!' is #if living in the world is to be used to abuse and some of the worst shit imaginable then. i don't think that's right. or normal. #again like... i actually truly just fucking despise the way most people talk about trauma and abuse... #...and pretty much anything that isn't like the bare surface-level 'mental health is important!' type deal... #...because it has always cpme down to 'how can i help maintain the status quo (people being abused and tormented)?' #or 'well you were [x] so you deserved it!' or 'you shouldn't want for ANYTHING if it makes me sad/annoyed/frustrated!!' #but maybe i'm naïve but i know this shit can change #and i don't think silence and letting people go about believing that shit is how it'll be done