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ayamari-no-goshi · 2 years

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Chasing Shadows (5)

AO3 -> First, last, next

Fandoms: Danny Phantom (DP) / DC universe

Summary: THIS IS A CROSSOVER. As Bruce Wayne begins to slowly recover from the loss of his son, two separate mysteries open up old wounds. Who is the unknown leaving clues hinting at a return to Gotham, and who is the phantom pretending to be his lost son? Is it just a coincidence they’re active in Gotham at the same time? Or are they connected?

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, and questionable mental health

Parings: none

Notes: originally uploaded to AO3. Cross-posted to tumblr

After the trip to the graveyard, Bruce made plans with Alfred to remove the casket so it could be examined in the cave before heading to Arkham to talk to the Riddler. Nygma again denied knowing what happened to Jason’s body, even after having a couple of his fingers broken. Bruce believed him after that. He also didn’t recognize the wax covered pomegranate but was openly intrigued by it. Deciding it might be beneficial to let Nygma know this was the same person who sabotaged him months ago, he sat back and watched the man fume before offering his services to help.

Would it help in Bruce’s investigation into the “famous nobody”? Unlikely, but perhaps seeing the clues might jog something he heard or saw when he orchestrated the Hush plot that didn’t mean much to him at the time. He would bring photos of the clues to Nygma after he further examined the pomegranate.

After returning to the cave, Tim hesitantly checked on him before leaving him to his work. While he appreciated the concern, he didn’t want to be bothered for now.

The pomegranate ended up just being a simple pomegranate, but the wax preservation made it difficult to verify how old it was. However, he did discover the wax was made from Esparto.

While the plant found most of its modern use making paper and wax, Esparto was once heavily used to make ropes specifically for use on boats, and in parts of the Mediterranean, beekeepers would burn the plant to make the smoke needed to gather honey, honeycombs, and beeswax. Ropes and wax, more ties to the ancient epic.

Even the pomegranate had another tie to the story than he originally believed. In a few carvings of the Sirens, they were shown holding the fruit which signified their ties to death. This person did his research.

…

The next evening, he and Alfred removed the casket from the cemetery before he once again returned to Arkham. Nygma couldn’t hide how his features lit up when he reviewed the images of the clues from Nobody.

“While I wouldn’t have chosen such a subtle way of doing this, these are good,” he grudgingly admitted. “It’s interesting how this person keeps referencing life and death. Whoever your person is, he’s on his way back home and had been presumed dead, but you knew that already.”

Bruce knew that his silence on the matter would be taken as an affirmative. “Does anything about this seem familiar?”

“No, but this is the person who took that important object from you.” The Riddler’s eyes drifted towards the door where there were guards within earshot to let him know why he phrased it that way. That was strangely courteous, but it didn’t improve Bruce’s mood. “Hush didn’t take my words about you at face value. He received a second confirmation from someone else. While I didn’t personally meet him, Hush is the only one who did, I know he’s the one who caused you to fall which set everything in motion. This person knows an awful lot about you. I’m almost jealous.”

He knew his cut line had been purposeful, but it was nice to have a confirmation on who it was. It specifically put him in crime alley where he had met Jason. Whoever the ‘famous nobody’ was, there was a connection to his son, but what was it? Why had gotten Clayface to take on the appearance of an adult Jason? Why had he taken him? Knowing he wouldn’t gain anything further from Nygma, he took his leave and ran his patrol for the evening.

When he returned home, the casket waited for him. The first thing he noted was how pristine it appeared. The son of the man who made his parents coffin had made the one for Jason. His craftmanship eclipsed the work of his father, but even with the skill, it should have shown signs of time, especially inside of it. But there was nothing there. After examining every inch of it, he couldn’t find traces of decay from Jason’s body. His son had never been in it.

He knew full well he buried his son, but whoever took him had the coffin replaced. With it being identical to the original, he knew someone had gotten the coffin maker to duplicate it. Due to the cost involved, whoever asked for it must have either a great personal wealth, or the more likely situation judging by what he knew of the unknown, good connections.

Although it was unlikely the craftsman would give him any information, he would still try to reach out as Bruce Wayne to see if he could give him any hint of who may have commissioned the replacement. Even if he decided to provide any information, it would still take time to get it.

It seemed as if the replacement occurred recently. Perhaps, just prior to the Hush plot. But if that was the case, why would Phantom have said Jason was missing for at least two years? His body language hadn’t suggested a lie, so he at least believed it. It was likely that’s what the ‘famous nobody’ told him.

Though, there was the possibility that the ‘nobody’ didn’t have the coffin replaced. Instead, he was just aware of it and wanted to bring it to Bruce’s attention. If that was the case, maybe Jason was missing longer than he wanted to admit.

He needed to take a step back and reevaluate everything. Firstly, he would need to review who might have ties to Jason outside their family. Because, if he understood the motivations of this ‘nobody’ correctly, everything he did centered around his son. If he could figure out who it might be, he would be able to return Jason home faster. But if he couldn’t, he knew he wouldn’t be able to locate him until he found the final clue, and he had no idea how long that would take.

…

Dick found out about Jason’s empty casket from Tim. Of course, Bruce wouldn’t tell him. Just like how he didn’t tell him that Jason died. But this time, Dick could see the grief. He knew this was something he wanted to handle on his own.

That didn’t mean Dick couldn’t put feelers out for information when he was in Gotham. That’s why he was currently stalking the shadows of Crime Alley. Sometimes the low levels chatted when they thought they weren’t in earshot.

But right now, the most interesting conversations were about someone new in the area. They didn’t know much about him other than he was slowly pushing the low-level thugs, traffickers, and drug dealers out of the area. They were calling him the Red Hood due to the red helmet he wore. While it wasn’t much, it did potentially match up with the unknown pulling the strings regarding the ‘famous nobody’ and even Phantom.

He didn’t seem to be present all the time in Gotham per what he’d gathered, but he seemed to be coming and going more frequently than he was. The criminals didn’t know anything about the man other than he seemed to work alone, and that he was well-trained. Once, he even heard someone mention he was just as stealthy as Batman as no one seemed to hear him coming. If that was true, it made him even more dangerous as few people could do that.

Eventually, he made his way to a warehouse on the edges of Crime Alley that a few thugs had reported seeing Phantom near recently. While it wasn’t the Unknown he wanted to find, if they could locate Phantom’s base of operations, it could lead them back to the other one.

Slipping into an open window, he carefully made his way around the upper perimeter of the building. At first, he didn’t catch sight of anyone, but as he moved towards the east side, he began hearing voices. They were indistinct at first, so he crept closer.

“… getting worse.” The strange voice with the echo could only belong to Phantom.

Dick took the chance to move a little faster in order to see the meta. He was floating near another large figure who was facing away from Dick. The unknown man had his shirt removed, and there seemed to be strange greenish markings on him. Were they tattoos?

If only he could get closer, but that would further risk him being spotted. For now, he just needed to wait and watch.

“They weren’t visible like this until after I faced the old man,” he explained as he rubbed his hand along his left arm, almost tenderly tracing what Dick could make out of the markings. So they weren’t tattoos? Or were they something more mystical?

He also noted the Unknown’s voice held a Gotham accent. But if Dick wasn’t mistaken, it also sounded a lot younger than he expected. Was this person only in their teens or early twenties? That would line up with someone who might have known Jason when he was still alive.

Phantom shifted so he looked like he was sitting in the air. “The last time that happened, was when you let Robin catch sight of you. Are you sure you want to continue this?” When the other man tensed in preparation to speak, Phantom held up his hands. “I know why you’re doing this. Heck, I even agree with you, why else would I be helping? But whatever that woman did to you did something to your body. You know it. I know it.”

So Phantom was working with this unknown, and he, at least, believed he was willingly doing so. That didn’t rule out he was tricked into believing that.

“I don’t recall ever mentioning that to you.” A clear warning crept into the unknown’s voice.

“Oh, the scary eyes.” Sarcasm dripped off of Phantom’s voice before it shifted to a more serious tone. “Look, I can sense it. Whatever it is, it’s similar enough to what prevented me from having a true death.” He angrily gestured at the man. “I’m worried it’s tipping your goals into a true obsession. You promised me the only people you’d hurt were criminals, and, if it came to it, Batman. You could have killed Robin with that stunt in the cemetery! He had nothing to do with what happened to you! And don’t get me started on what you pulled with Man-Bat! You didn’t warn me about that one because you know I would have tried to stop it, right?”

A flash of anger raced through Dick’s body. This man was the ‘famous nobody.’ The one who hurt took his brother’s body.

Phantom also suggested he was the one who hurt Tim. But Bruce had been absolutely certain that was Clayface. Was it possible they’d switched places sometime during the fight? The cowl footage of the fight did show the unknown bleeding at one point, and Bruce did loose track of him in a few frames. That would make sense with how he showed himself at that press conference. It also helped strengthen the claim that Tim briefly saw him when he was in civies.

What in the world was this man after? If he hadn’t altered his appearance, then he did look a great deal like Jason would have, if he ever had a chance to grow up. Though, he was a lot bigger than any of them would have expected. His brother was believed to have stunted growth due to malnutrition.

But Jason was dead. He knew that, but something in the back of his mind kept nagging at him. Could it be possible he was somehow back?

That didn’t make any sense. While Dick personally knew a few people who had come back from death, the miracles that gave them back their lives hadn’t touched his brother. Besides, what would Jason have gotten out of doing all of this? It also wouldn’t explain who or what Phantom was. The more he learned, the more confusing it got.

“I… I went too far with the kid.” Nobody’s voice sounded troubled as if he was confused with his actions. “It should have gone no further than the threat. I just needed to see how he’d react… I wanted to see if there was regret... pain… something.” He gave a humorless laugh as he grabbed his shirt off the nearby table and put it on.

“Good,” Phantom gave a sharp nod, “as long as you’re aware of that.”

“I should give you the same warning.” When the meta jolted in surprise, Nobody gave a fond chuckle. Dick still couldn’t see his face. “Dove, you know how I feel about teen heroes, but I should have known that nature of yours would cause you to get directly involved in the fights. Even without all the ghostly bullshit you deal with, the feeling of stopping the bad guys and helping the innocent can be addicting.”

“Don’t call me that, and I’m being careful!”

“For now you are.” Nobody sighed as he ran his hand through his dark hair. “Look, don’t take any unnecessary risks. You’ve been a big help, and I don’t want to hear you walked into a trap. Even the best heroes fail eventually, and I still won’t be in the city full time for a while.”

“Can I at least get a warning of what you’re planning next time?”

“What? And ruin the surprise?” Nobody fingered a red helmet that was sitting near where his shirt had been for a moment before putting it on. “Besides, you never know when a little birdy is watching.” That statement seemed a little too pointed. Did he know?

“Head home, kid,” the man ruffled Phantom’s hair before gently shooing him.

After brushing his hands away, the teen smoothed his hair before sticking out his tongue. “Don’t call me that. You aren’t all that much older than me.”

“But I’m still older.” Even through the voice modulator of the helmet, Dick could hear Nobody’s playful tone. No matter what this man was, he seemed to have a genuine fondness for Phantom. “You’ve been doing a lot recently, so make sure you take time to rest. I don’t want to hear you were back on the streets tonight. You know I have ears everywhere.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t go dying again on whatever trip you’re taking.” With that, Phantom faded from view.

Dick quickly switched to the thermal and watched a cold form slip through the east wall. Sending a message to Tim, Babs, Steph, and Cass, he hoped one of them was close enough that they might be able to further track him.

But there was another abnormality on the thermal, Nobody. He was so cold it almost was as if he was a cooling corpse. How was this man alive? Was he even human?

Nobody, the Red Hood, glanced in his direction. Oh, he absolutely knew Dick was there. Crap. Well, the man was in a talkative mood, he might as well oblige.

“Nightwing,” the man greeted as Dick dropped down to the floor. He made no defensive move but with the helmet covering his head, it was difficult to gage any tells he might have regarding what he was planning.

“I’ve been hearing people calling you the Red Hood.” Dick remained on guard as he watched the man. Now that he was closer, he could verify the man was nearly as tall as Bruce and built similarly. He also wore several gun holsters, all of them filled. They knew he had some sort of firearms training, but they didn’t know the extent of it.

Hood shrugged. “Several people have used it throughout the years. What’s one more?”

“Right.” There was something about the way he phrased it that made Dick pause. Not many people were aware that the moniker had been used periodically throughout the years. “What’s Phantom to you? If you’re harming him…”

“Oh, have you developed a fondness for the little ghost? Does he remind you of the brother you lost?”

Ignoring the sting of his words, Dick grabbed his escrima sticks. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Nor does it answer mine,” Hood tilted his head slightly, “but I’ll indulge you. I have only asked him to help me place my clues when the occasion needed it. He took it upon himself to watch over you and the others. If I could, I’d stop him from getting involved with the costumes of Gotham, but I can’t do anything to stop a ghost’s obsessive nature other than redirect it.” He retrieved one of his handguns from its holster and pointed it at Dick. “Heed my warning, Nightwing. If you or the others let anything happen to him, there will be hell to pay. Even the dead can die again.”

Dick didn’t wait for Hood to pull the trigger. Instead, he bounced out of the line of fire and lunged at the man. Strangely, the man stayed on the defensive and pulled away as opposed to immediately fighting back. That changed when he leaped over the table his gear had previously been on and kicked it at him.

As he dodged and attempted to find Hood again, he felt something hard press into his back. He went still as he tried to gage the best way of escaping.

“I’m not interested in fighting you,” Hood told him. “My grievances are with Batman, and only Batman. You and the others don’t need to get into the crosshairs.”

He twisted in hopes he could knock the gun out of the man’s hand, but Hood seemed to be aware of what he’d try and pulled back just in time. “What do you want with him? And why, why would you take Jason?”

“I didn’t take the lost Robin,” he responded slowly, almost as if he was carefully choosing his words. “He was in that grave less than a year, but no one ever knew because no one bothered to visit.” He slipped a smoke bomb out of his utility belt and detonated it. “And for why I’m here… Ever think that sometimes the dead can’t rest until they’re fully avenged?”

Dick tried to switch back to the thermal to see where Hood went, but the smoke disoriented him enough to prevent more than catching his strange heat signature moving up into the rafters before disappearing. Nothing about what just happened made any sense to him. Red Hood, who had brutally dispatched some of the criminals in Crime Alley and purposely caused a fight between Batman and Man-Bat, hadn’t been interested in fighting and provided more questions than answers.

Had he taken Jason? Or did someone else did, and he was making an elaborate game out of their ignorance of the situation? While Bruce would want a report, Dick decided that he wanted to verify the timeline Hood suggested first. Calling Babs, he asked her to help him find any evidence that his brother had been missing for years longer than they ever expected.

…

In the month that followed Dick’s confrontation with the Red Hood, they made little progress in determining who he was. Bruce had retraced Jason’s life and anyone who he associated with before and after coming to the manor. Every person had been reliably accounted for, whether alive or dead.

Their best chance at identifying him, outside of questioning Phantom, lied in the strange markings on his body. They didn’t appear to be traditional tattoos. Judging by what Dick overheard, they were possibly a type of illness or even a curse. He had hoped to consult Zatanna at the next League meeting, but everything related to the Red Hood had temporarily been put on hold due to Tim’s exit.

Jack Drake, Tim’s father, discovered his son was the current Robin. Infuriated, he threated to expose everything Bruce and his immediate and extended family worked for over the years. Tim made the impossible decision to hang up the cape and go willingly with his father. As much as he missed the boy’s presence, Bruce couldn’t fault him.

Just as he was getting used to the idea of working primarily by himself again, Stephanie Brown broke into the Batcave. She’d been helping them as Spoiler for a while, but her skills were lacking but improving. However, she admittedly blindsided him when she showed up in a homemade costume which looked similar to Tim’s and demanded to become the new Robin. With some reservations, he agreed as long as she was willing to undergo better training.

For a while, it appeared she would be a great Robin, but after a nasty run in with Mr. Zsasz, a psychotic serial killer who had escaped Arkham, Bruce had second thoughts. The man attempted to take Stephanie as his next target, but she fought back and nearly killed him. While Bruce understood the need to protect herself, Stephanie had taken it too far. It was especially troubling after Bruce learned Phantom helped her escape, and she went back to incapacitate the criminal.

But the finally call came when she openly disobeyed his orders. Yes, she did so to help him, but she’d proven multiple times she wouldn’t follow instructions to the point it created more issues. He couldn’t trust her, and as a result, forbade her from donning the cape ever again. He should have known she wouldn’t listen to him.

----------------------------

odyssey clues:

Stop 8 was the island of the sirens. This one was a little trickier which is why there were 2 plants. Firstly, some carvings of the sirens depict them with pomegranates. Those are famously associated with death due to the myth of Hades and Persephone. But the Esparto has a neat connection too. Ancient cultures, including the Greeks, used the fibers to make boat ropes. Odysseus tied himself to the mast while they passed the island. It can also be used to max wax, which Odysseus' men put in their ears, but in some places, the fibers were used to make smoke for beekeepers to get honey, honeycombs, and beeswax.

#Chasing Shadows #Odyssey AU #Danny Phantom #DP au #danny phantom crossover #dp crossover #dp x dc #DPxDC

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thewritingstar · 2 years

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Tranquility (TwiYor)

Pairing: TwiYor (Twilight x Thorn Princess, Loid x Yor, which ever you prefer)

Fandom: Spy x Family

Note: Im super excited for this one. Ive been in a writing slump for a while and after diving through spy x family, I knew I needed to write something for it. Of course no fandom that im in can escape the angst so that is what this is.

Big shout out to my lovely friend and amazing beta @smolmexicanita shes the best!!

TW: Character Death, blood, wounds, angst but like this is a love fic so dont be scared please

Since this is a new fandom pls lmk if you would like to be tagged in any upcoming fics. This will also be posted on Ao3 soon.

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He always knew deep down that one of these missions would kill him. It was never a surprise or something he could avoid. Especially when you put your life on the line constantly. Death might come naturally to others, but his was always lurking over his shoulder.

Even a mission as simple as delivering a letter could cost him his life. It was important to make it all count and more important to not leave anything behind. You don’t get to have friends and family in this line of work. That way when your blood is splattered on the wall, there are no words left unsaid or any resentment. You can die with the peace of saving the world even if you didn't know anyone in it.

Guns, poison and even bombs were used against him and although he was trained to handle them with grace and swiftness, he never thought that it would come to this.

His back was against the ground, eyes looking up at the night sky in all its glory. He wished that maybe in another life he could have gotten more out of it. To walk outside and see the stars twinkling in the fortress of the sky. To know that the world didn’t rest on his shoulders. If he had a choice, he might have been an astronomer. Hell, he might have been a lot of things.

He had always loved the night sky. Hence, Twilight.

But instead the grass poked his back. His suit was becoming damp from the nightly watered grass and possibly blood. Most definitely blood. Maybe this is what a corpse felt like six feet under. Oddly enough, it felt peaceful.

He should be panicking right now, but laying down like this felt good. A chance to relax. When was the last time he relaxed? Maybe when he gets home he can lay on the couch while Anya tells him about the newest episode of her spy show. That would be relaxing.

What wasn’t relaxing was the state of his suit. He would have to get this suit dry cleaned. Well maybe he would just toss it, there was too much blood.

He coughed and almost choked on the blood coming from his dried lips. Everything around him was spinning. Even if it weren't night time, he would probably still be seeing stars.

The only thing keeping him centered was the weight on his stomach and the fist that clenched his tie.

He never thought his death would drag on like this. He assumed it would be quick and in a sacrificial way that saved thousands. His death would mean something. It would be the end of war and children would never cry from the cruel world. If Twilight's name was erased from the WISE association then it meant he did his job.

Instead he was on the lawn of a garden in some place he couldn’t remember.

He heard a voice mumble something. It was soothing and sweet. Maybe he should close his eyes.

“No, stay awake.” The voice called to him.

By command, he forced his eyes to stay open. He also noticed the slowing of his pulse.

The voice trembled again. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

He knew that voice. It was one he had grown accustomed to. Her voice was a haven, one that he vowed to protect. He needed to get up and finish his mission. Why wasn’t he moving?

“Stop trying to move Loid.” She pleaded.

A water droplet fell onto his face. The stars were still glowing without a cloud to cover them. Another drop fell and this time he forced his eyes to the source.

But the clouds were not clouds, but in fact eyes that were red and raw. Eyes of crimson that he had come to know so inexplicably well that his own eyes began to water.

“Y-Yor.” He whispered her name and that was all it took for him to realize what was happening.

She let out a sob as her fist tightened on the fabric. The fabric that she would straighten in the morning when he was “running late”. The fabric that she washed and ignored the blood stains. The fabric that she would pull to make his head turn to her and kiss her softly. The tie that he wore when he asked her to marry him.

And now it would be the tie that would signal his death.

“Loid, please. Please forgive me. I didn’t know it was you.” Yor’s voice grew with worry and now he could see it.

A gold dagger sticking out from his stomach. He had been stabbed in close combat and hadn’t sensed the presence of her. He never had been able to. It was one of the many things that intrigued him. Now he understood why. It was all falling into place.

That black dress and gold details flooded his mind begging for information. So this was the infamous Thorn Princess. The deadly assassin that left no trace and killed with the grace and sophistication of a god.

He remembered when he joined WISE and they had said if he was ever in the unfortunate situation of meeting her, that he was as good as dead. He was naive to think of that as an empty threat. In the end, they had been right.

Twilight remembered spending months trying to research about her. Her victims vanished from the face of the earth without a trace and no one had ever seen her.

Everything he knew about her was true. But also so wrong at the same time.

“You weren’t supposed to be Twilight.”

The lore of her was how she was heartless and took no prisoners, yet he had watched the same woman warm up to a child who wasn’t even hers and loved her as if she was her very own. He knew that her blades were deadly and her strength was unmatched, but her smile and contagious laugh outshined those truths.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed.

For everything that he had known about the Thorn Princess began to unravel as Yor looked down at him. This was not a deadly assassin, but a woman who was given a bad hand of cards. Just like him.

But the only thing they forgot to mention about her was how kind and caring she was. No amount of blood on her hands could diminish the way his heart fluttered when she walked through a door. It didn’t matter how deep her blade was in his skin.

“Please Loid, it can’t be you.”

He didn’t know it was possible, but he loved her with every fiber of his being.

“It's okay.” He soothed her.

“Loid just hold on, I am going to get you help.” But as Yor began to move off of him, he grabbed her hand.

“Don’t.” He coughed.

Her eyes went wide. “Loid.” More tears surfaced. “If we don’t get you to a hospital-”

“I know.” He spoke calmly. She had a tendency to get lost in her mind and throw around the most obscure scenarios.

He could feel his head growing heavier by the second. The grass was feeling more comfortable and the pain wasn’t as bad as he had thought. He never held resentment for the world he protected. He never felt hatred for the life he never had. But he would be damned if his words would go to his grave.

“Loid.” Yor panicked. “I don’t know what to do.”

His hand reached up and his thumb brushed away the tears falling down her face. He wished he met her sooner. He wished that there was an alternate timeline where they had met.

One as childhood friends. Coworkers. Neighbors. Anything. Hell, even enemies.

He prayed that those universes existed so that he could still be with her, even if he didn’t know it.

In every single one, he wanted to love her.

He wanted her smile that reached her eyes when he came through the door. The way her cheeks would dust with the slightest of pink when their hands would brush and the way her voice would catch in her throat when he pressed his lips to her cheek.

He wanted it all. The smiles, the stares they shared, he even wanted the tears and the arguments. He never wanted to lose the feelings he had for her.

Although he wasn’t sure that those universes existed, he was beyond grateful that in this present one, he got to know her.

“You were always so beautiful.” He said. “From the moment I saw you, I wasn’t able to shake the feeling that we were destined to meet.”

She shook her head. “Please, don’t. Loid…I’m sorry.” She cried.

And instead of trying to push her off or fight back, he just smiled. A genuine smile that he found was just for his family.

“I never thought that my life would be like this.” His voice, soft.

“Being a spy?” She asked.

“No.” He said. “You gave me a life I wasn’t allowed to want and even though it was meant to be a facade, I always forgot that it was. I was meant to get a family. A wife and child. Send that child to a school and have her get me close to my target. World peace was the goal.”

“They told me that this would be the hardest mission of my life.” He grunted. “But they were wrong. It was easy because I was in love with you and after all this time, I had forgotten that it was supposed to be fake. I was selfish to think that it could last.”

Yor cupped his face with her hand. “You gave everything to everyone.”

“And you gave me everything. You are the most selfless person I have ever met Yor. The way that you rearranged your life and fell into a role with so much ease, it's beyond amazing. I hope you know that I am forever in your debt.”

There was so much blood that her anxiety started to worsen. “Then please, let me be selfish for once. Let me save you.”

A big part of him wanted that. He wanted to wake up the next day perfectly fine with minimum wounds. He wanted to walk out into the kitchen where he would spend a quiet and peaceful hour making breakfast before a mop of pink hair would stumble into her chair and complain about the morning sun being too bright.

He wanted to hear the footsteps of Yor coming out of their room, hers was turned into a study, and she would greet him with a kiss on the cheek and Anya would mutter something about them being in love.

But then there was the realist in him. The part of him that held the truths even if it hurt to bear them. The part of him that was small told him that he only had a few more breaths left before it would become painful to breath. The blood seeping from his wounds and coating her hands would be the last feeling they would share.

Loid wanted nothing more to get up. But his legs wouldn’t move. He heard Yor mutter something into a phone but his mind was betraying him.

“It's going to be okay.” She cried. “I love you too much to let you die like this. You don’t get to save the world and then not be here for it.”

He brought Yor’s hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

“You gave me my own sense of peace a long time ago. Looking into your eyes is pure bliss in itself.” He smiled.

The pink on her cheeks that he adored so much surfaced. “Loid, I love you so much. You are going to be okay. Our family is going to be okay. Just save your energy.”

Yor wasn’t sure who she was trying to reassure. She knew by the state of his body that there wasn’t much time left. The doctor she called said they would be there soon but she wasn’t sure how long this would last. She was so used to taking lives that trying to save them was not really in her wheelhouse.

She looked down at Twilight, not Loid. He will always be Loid. His blonde hair damp against his forehead and his shallow breathing still made him look as gorgeous as ever. She never knew what being in love was like. She had watched movies and read the books but they could never truly encapsulate everything she felt for the man.

Whatever they deemed love to be, that was the perfect label for him. Her love. Her Loid.

She had lifted her body off of him a while ago and was applying pressure to his wound. Everything was happening too fast. How was he the one losing his life and yet she felt like death was creeping on her as well? She once read that a swan could die of heartbreak. She now understood why.

“Yor, please. The silence is too much.” Loid whispers and she could see it now.

She could see the tears in his eyes. The weight of the situation is hitting them both but she has to be strong. She inhales and tries her best to stop the tears and instead smiles down at him. Her fingers brush over his bangs.

“I once read about Twilight. I was told about the best spy in the world. He was quick and a master of disguise. You should see the way people talk about you. You were like a god among men. No one knew you and yet, everywhere you went, you left traces of yourself. I was told that maybe one day I would meet you. They said to be careful and to prepare for the very worst.”

Loid made no sound but he stared at her, waiting for the rest.

“I thought that if someone could be that good at their job then I would need to be the very best. I trained harder than I ever had once I read what little file we had on you. I became better at my job because of you. But you wanna know the funny thing?” She asked.

Loid nodded.

“Twilight did not make me into the woman I am today.” She leaned and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You did.”

She watched as a tear slipped down his cheek and his lips that had been straight for a while, turned up into a small smile.

“Being your wife made me want to be a better person. Kind and caring. Someone who knows what family means entirely. You made me want to be a mother for Anya. To be a good wife for you. But mostly importantly, you taught me how to love. The messy mornings and the days where my job took a toll on me were all washed away and forgotten when you looked at me as if I was the most important thing in the world. How could I ever repay you for making me feel loved but learning to love myself too? That is what made me.” Her own tears surfaced. “Falling love with you was the greatest pleasure of my life. One I never thought I would ever experience. So thank you Loid. For loving me for all that I am.”

This time the pink blooming on the skin came from Loid. Yor let out a small laugh as she rubbed his cheek.

Loid choked out. “What's-so funny?”

“You. You being Twilight makes so much sense but also none at all. Had anyone else been given your assignment, it would have been different.”

“How so?” He said and his eyes winced from the pain.

Yor almost scoffed. “A wife and a child? You could have been cruel and forced us to perform out of fear. You could have treated Anya harshly and given her no option but to be the best. Instead you did what no other spy would have done. You offered compassion and safety. You gave that little girl a home instead of a roof on her head. You gave her toys and did everything in your power to make her smile. I mean who rents out a theme park just to fulfill a little girl's dream? The way that you cherished everything she did and not only acted as her father but became her dad. Sometimes we lose ourselves in our missions but I know now that you would do anything for her, even if it ruined your plans.”

It was true. He had never once faltered with his plans until Anya came into his life. At first it was difficult to balance it all but to know that someone cared enough that he was alive at the end of the mission was something he grew used to. He was determined more than ever to be better. For the sake of the little girl who was giving the world its greatest chance at world peace.

His body was growing tired but all he could think about was Anya. Her graduation from elementary school, middle school and high school. How if she ever found out that he was a spy, she would beg to become one herself. He wanted those moments of her growing up and to be happy when he came home. He wanted his little girl to be his forever. The mission gave him new life.

“You love our daughter Loid, so you can’t die. I won’t allow it.” Yor said firmly. “We need you.”

“I don’t want to die.” He uttered truthfully and the stars above weren’t as bright anymore.

He must have heard a helicopter or something but it was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep his eyes open. He heard Yor’s voice calling to someone and he felt cold. His body began to tremble and fear took over.

Just when he thought that he could have it all. He was ready to be done. This was his punishment. He was going to resign from spy work and dedicate his life to something normal, something he wanted.

He could go on vacations and show the world to Yor and Anya. He could give her the childhood she needed and the normalcy that Yor deserved.

He felt her hand in his and she pulled him so that he was now leaning up. If he had thought the sky was spinning then, it was going a million miles an hour now.

Yor leveled herself with him. “Your mission now, Loid, is to return to your family.”

His hand reached out to her cheek and pulled her close to him. “I love you more than you could ever imagine.” Slowly he closed the gap and pressed his lips to hers.

They had kissed many times before, but this was different. He pressed against her as much as he could, taking in her all as if it was his dying wish.

She pulled away all too quickly and her eyes flashed wide. Beautiful crimson. Rubies of her own design. He had a custom ring made for her to match, but that will have to wait for another time.

“Yor, tell Anya. To forgive me. And that-I love her.” He begged.

“Loid just wait-”

“I know I gave the world peace, but you and our daughter gave me mine.” He said as his hand fell from her cheek and he felt himself fall back onto the grass and into a black abyss.

He heard a scream rip through the air but all he could think about was how happy he was.

There was a time when he would close his eyes and his dreams would be plagued with horrors. He could clearly hear the screams of his mother and the pain he felt when he was left all alone in the world. He could remember each bullet he shot in the early stages of his spy work and slowly over time became numb to it all.

But recently when his eyes would flutter close as the tv hummed softly, he would only imagine his family. Rest was just that and he could finally relax even if raising a child was pretty demanding.

The grass was soft against his back and the stars weren’t there but he knew deep down that he did all he could. They were right when they say you don’t get to see the harvest of your planting. Deep down he fell into the darkness, his mind offering him one last image.

Yor holding Anya. The biggest smiles graced their faces and he walked into the door, planting a kiss on his daughter's forehead and then one of his wife's life. Happiness. That is what he was given.

Once upon a time, a spy and an assassin fell in love and raised a child. All for the sake of world peace. What a funny thought.

---

Thank you so much for reading!!! Hope you didn't suffer too much!

I would love to hear any thoughts you had and if you would like to see more spy x family content, pls lmk! my inbox is always open for anything from requests to asks!!

If you wanna chat or wanna follow me on other platforms, Ao3 and instagram are where to find me, same name.

Thanks again

<3 Star

#spy x family #spy x family fanfic #twiyor #twilight #thorn princess #loid x yor #thewritingstar

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artzee-bee · 3 years

Text

Not going anywhere | Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer

Request:” Hi i have request for you ,Lucifer and the reader have a big fight they are married, and this fight it's lucifer fault The reader leaves home and Lucifer decides to give her space After a few days, he goes to the reader and realizes that she has been missing for a few days,When the person behind all this claims that the reader is dead and gives them a her body . Everyone thinks that the reader is dead and Lucifer He gets depressed and thinks it's all his fault , and after a few days, the thieves release the singer and the reader goes to Lucifer.Lucifer first thinks it is an imagination and then apologizes to the reader Thank you so much”

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: kidnapping, death

~~~

Your intention had never been to start a fight. All you wanted an explanation (preferably one that also made sense) and an apology, but apparently that was too much to ask, because as soon as you voiced your opinion, Lucifer went up in flames

“Don’t start this again!”

“I dislike it just as much as you do but what I hate more is being cancelled on, AGAIN, through a text message no less!”

“It was an emergency!”

“It’s always an emergency Lucifer! It’s starting to sound a lot like work means more to you than I do!” “The detective needs me, damn it!” your husband yelled

“And she has you! Every day of every week! All I ask for is one date night and for the past month you’ve done nothing but avoid committing to one or backing out at the last second! I’m tired of being your second choice Lucifer! I’m your wife and you are my husband, I love you to the ends of the world, I just wish you'd say no to Decker from time to time...”

“I’m saving people’s lives Y/N. So if you’re not on your deathbed, other people are and they need me now!” as he said this, Lucifer walked right past you and into your bedroom, seemingly ignorant to the painful words he’d just said. You looked around the living room, vision blurry with tears, your chest heavy with anger and disgust. You rushed towards the elevator.

“When you find time in your busy schedule and feel like being my spouse again, let me know!” the elevator door closed before Lucifer could say anything

~~~

When Lucifer woke up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, he didn’t think much of it.Truthfully, he was still kind of pissed at the attitude you had given him a day before, so he got dressed as usual and went to the precinct, assuming you’ll be home by nightfall.

Except when he got home that night, he stopped by Lux first, which ended up like it always does: with him sucked into an endless cycle of booze and dancing, that lasted until well into the night. When he did enter the penthouse eventually, he found it empty. Exactly the way he had left it in the morning. Even the tie he had left on the floor, after deciding last minute that it didn’t go with his suit, was untouched. Now this was curious, but still, Lucifer felt like you must be playing hard to get. He sent you one text message, before going to bed

“Call me when you can!”

The day after that, he figured his part was done! By reaching out first, he had already made a big compromise, so now it was your turn! To reach out, come home! But that didn’t happen that day, or the day after that.

Three days after the text message,Lucifer was getting worried. He was looking at his phone every other minute. Always making sure he hadn’t accidently put it on silent or missed any texts. He sent more messages, telling you he was sorry and that he wanted you to come home. That he would listen and spend more time with you, promising luxurious dates and weekend trips, if only you forgave him. You didn’t even open the messages.

“Lucifer are you listening?” Decker was insanely annoyed at her partner’s lack of concentration

“Sorry detective. I’ve...I’ve got a lot on my mind”

“Well, better get it out of the way now, so that we can move on to our case!” she said, cleaning out her desk quickly, before resting back into her chair “Talk to me!”

“It’s Y/N. I’m worried about her!”

“Why?” “We...had a fight a couple days ago and she left. She hasn’t come back since”

“Have you heard from her at all?”

“No…” Lucifer said, embarrassed at his own lack of care for you. He should have called you earlier, reached out more! He should have tried harder!

“How long had she been missing for?”

“4...maybe 5 days…”

“Lucifer, are you sane? And you’re only telling me now?!” Chloe jumped from her seat, turning on her computer

“I thought she needed space! I thought she was avoiding me intentionally cause she was angry! I didn’t know…” Lucifer choked back a sob, not wanting to break down in tears in the middle of the precinct

“Lucifer!” Chloe caught hold of his hand “I’m gonna find her! I promise you!” A few days later, she did. Well, more like Y/n came to her, in the shape of a pretty little gift box left on Decker's doorstep.

“A lil too late on your case detective” read the note attached to it.

Inside were Y/N’s clothes, all of them stained with dark, dried blood. Y/N was declared dead that day and the case was closed. At her funeral, only her closests friends were present. Lucifer wanted it to be as intimate as possible.

That day was also the first time anyone had seen Lucifer, since the news. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes almost matched the black suit he was wearing. Throughout the ceremony he kept twisting his wedding band, a habit he’d picked up on since you went missing. He chose not to do a speech, but once the crowd disappeared, and he was left face to face with your grave, he pulled out a little piece of paper from his pocket and sat down on the grass.

“In hell, everyone feared me. There, I was nothing but another server of the universe, ruling over an empire I never really wanted, because I never had a choice. So eventually I left, thinking anywhere will be better than what I had, and I came to earth.

I ran into you about 2 weeks later, before I really even knew how to behave myself. Before I knew anything about who I really was besides ‘the devil’. I longed to know, grow and discovers different sides of me, where I could be something new, and you gave it to me. You made me who I never thought I could possibly be. You made me a lover. I never thought of myself as capable to love anyone, in any degree, but your light shone everywhere you went and your kindness touched me and everyone around you. It became impossible to not get infatuated with your person. I allowed you to see and feel around every dark corner of my soul and being and every time I thought it was the end. Everytime I would take in your touch as if it was the last, I would prepare myself for abandonment, but it never came. Through everything you stood by my side and when I felt my darkest, you gave me a fistful of your light and that was enough to keep me going. You married a broken man and called him perfect, despite everyone telling you how much of a foul you were. Even then, you shooed them away. Even then you chose me. I wasn’t worthy of your love or your trust and our last night together proved it.

You’re not here anymore to hear my apologies and I’ll never forgive myself for it. You’ve gone now somewhere I can not follow, but I know you are well taken care of there. I hope, someway, somehow, you’ll hear these words: I am sorry. I loved you with my entire soul. Not listening to you was the biggest mistake of my life and I’ll never forgive myself. I choose however, to remember you as you were, because I know that’s what you’d want. I’ll remember you and your laugh.I’ll remember our date nights and shopping sprees. Nights in Lux or on the penthouse balcony. I’ll remember all the meals you prepared for me and the flirtatious remarks you used to make, because you thought they were so silly. I’ll remember the little frown on your face whenever you worked on an important project for work and I’ll remember every evening walk around the block you’d make me accompany you on. I know I always complained about them, but they were always fun. Everything I ever did with you was always fun.

I loved you. I still do. You are my everything Y/N. Thank you for devoting yourself to me in all the ways that you did. I’ll forever live on in my heart.“

~~~

It had been months since your disappearance. After all this time, you finally managed to escape your kidnappers and report them to the New York police station, since that’s where you had been held hostage for so long. As soon as the paperwork was done and you were sure that the people who ruined you were getting the punishment they deserved, you jumped on a train and headed straight back home. Straight to Lucifer.

Lux looked exactly the same as you had left it. You were washed over by a wave of comfort that almost brought you to tears. Home. You never thought you’d get to step in here again. Overwhelmed, you took a seat on one of the couches, allowing your head to rest back on it, as you took in every detail of your surroundings: the feel of the leather on your fingertips, the cool breeze of the air conditioning, the warm lights. Everything was still here.

“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound

“Hi love…” your voice broke as you said those words. Words you never thought you would be able to mutter again. The sight of your husband, messy as he was, made you weak in the knees. He was standing at the top of the staircase, dressed in nothing but his robe, tied carelessly around his waist. He had probably just woken up. You wanted to say something again, but before you could, he laughed

“Nope” he said simply, before making his way down the stairs and to the bar “I’m not doing this. Not today, not ever!” Lucifer filled his glass to the top with bourbon, before turning around and trying to leave back to where he came from

“Lucifer, it's me!”

“Sure you are, except you’re not real! Nice of dad, taking my ability to stay endlessly sober, getting me drunk, forcing visions of my dead wife onto me to teach me another lesson about managing my emotions. Real clever, except this is too much! So I’m going to enter that elevator and I expect to never have to see you again, hum? Right, well, au revoir now!” he continued on his way, but before he could get far, you were clutching on the silk tie of his robe. Lucifer felt the tug around his waist and turned around slowly to look at you, this time a little more unsure. As if he was trying to figure you out

“Lucifer, I’m Y/N. I escaped”

“Escaped? But that’s impossible, she died! I saw it-”

“What you saw was a bloody shirt!” he looked up to meet your gaze, tears already forming “They lied to you Lucifer”

Finally, it seemed like he had connected all of the pieces of the puzzle. The glass of alcohol fell to the ground and your husband wrapped you in a big hug for the first time in months. He nuzzled his head in your hair and took in your scent, your figure, your warmth. Hell, you were even more perfect that he remembered! Silent tears fell down both of your cheeks as you collapsed to the ground, still holding onto each other for dear life

“I’m so sorry” Lucifer sobbed in your hair “I’m so so sorry”

“It wasn’t your fault Luci”

“If I hadn’t been a jerk you wouldn’t have left! If I would have simply listened to you, they wouldn’t have gotten to you! You would’ve stayed here, where you belong! You would have stayed with me but instead I was too busy with my stupid job and the stupid cases and I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” he continued crying on your shoulder as you rubbed small circles on his back

“I’m here now my love” you whispered, kissing his cheek “And I’m not going anywhere”

#lucifer #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar imagine #lucifer morningstar angst #lucifer morningstar

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amispnrewatch · 3 years

Text

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

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sassycassie-s-writing · 3 years

Text

A Court Rebuilt

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): A Court of Thorns and Roses Series/Tamlin, Rhysand, Feyre

Rating: PG/K+

Original Idea: I have no idea where this one came from. I just thought, “What if Rhys’ sister actually survived?” and made a few detail alterations and wrote this.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) Don’t really have anything else to say here besides: again, I have not read ACOSF and dunno if I’m going to, but there were loose ends I wanted to tie up. Enjoy!

^^^^^

I’d intended to winnow to the edge of the wards surrounding the manor and then walk to the front doors on foot.

I was quite surprised when I just landed on the front porch. There was no trace of the wards. No protections around the manor house. None that I could detect anyway. The front door was slightly open.

I dismissed my wings before I left home, but I felt the phantom feeling of them shuddering as I pushed the door open a little more.

Inside, the grand entrance was dusty. Dark.

Empty.

I reached out with my magic, searching for the presence of the High Lord of the manor. Please don’t be dead, I thought.

There he was. In the back. The kitchen, if I remembered correctly. It had been centuries since I’d been here, and even then I’d been very young, for a High Fae. His presence was powerful, incredible, but nowhere near the scale and scope of Rhysand’s.

I stayed on alert as I made my way through the manor, heading toward the kitchen. But there were no sounds. No servants bustling around. No sentries patrolling the garden or the halls. The manor was little more than an empty shell. An unkempt, hollow husk of its former glory and beauty.

I made it to the kitchen. The door was wide open.

Instead of going in, I leaned against the doorframe.

Tamlin’s back was to me. He looked… wan. The kitchen was barely in better shape than the rest of the house.

He stiffened as he realized he wasn’t alone, but didn’t whirl around, claws out, to defend himself. Didn’t even turn to see me. I wondered if he knew it was me without looking. He didn’t seem to indicate so.

“Good morning,” I said.

That was when he whirled. His eyes—once the vibrant green of budding trees, now dull—widened as he took me in. “You’re supposed to be dead. Centuries ago,” he said.

“Well, technically, I have you to thank for the fact that I’m not,” I replied. “Do you remember?”

“Get out,” Tamlin snarled. There was no beastly bite to the words. No fangs in his mouth. I didn’t move. Just folded my arms. “Does your perfect brother know you’re here?”

“No. I’d like to keep it that way. I didn’t come to fight, Tamlin. I came to thank you, actually. For delaying your father and brothers long enough that I managed to survive. Yes, my head was bleeding profusely as I drifted downstream. Yes, I nearly drowned and my wings were mostly torn off. Yes, I’m still gloriously furious about it. But when Rhys found me alive and got me home to heal, I was still thankful you stopped your father from finishing me off long enough for me to survive.”

“Are you done?”

“Not yet.” I held my hand out. A small sheaf of papers appeared on my palm. I set it on the kitchen table. “I’ve spent the last week brainstorming ways to rebuild your court. Feyre isn’t sorry for the devastation she left behind; and frankly I don’t think she should be. I certainly am not, given how you treated her after what happened Under the Mountain. But the fact remains that the Spring Court borders the mortal lands, and a strong border is necessary to keep any faeries with bad intentions out of there, and any mortals who have a death wish away from here. Tarquin is fine leaving some of his sentries on the border for as long as necessary, but eventually it would be most beneficial for the Spring Court to monitor its own lands.”

Tamlin growled. A deep, low, guttural sound that made braver faeries than me shudder. As it was, I grew up with Rhysand, Azriel, and Cassian. Tamlin didn’t scare me. “Get out,” he snapped again.

“Those papers have a few different detailed plans for building your court up again. You can use any one you like. Or you can use none of them. That’s your choice. This isn’t the Night Court sticking its nose in the affairs of your court. Like I said, my brother doesn’t even know I’m here. This is just one person who owes you their life trying to get yours back on track. I didn’t spend the past week drafting those plans out of the goodness of my heart. I did it to make us even. I’ve spent centuries being dead to the outside world. Everywhere except home. And, if anyone asks you who came up with this, they won’t believe you if you say I gave them to you. It would be in your best interest, anyway, to say you came up with it yourself. Show you’re still strong.

“But right now, someone needed to kick you in the pants in the right direction. And since I owed you and you didn’t even know it, I figured it could be me.” I shrugged.

Tamlin’s lip curled. “You sound like your self-righteous brother.”

Don’t pick a fight, don’t pick a fight, don’t pick a fight, I reminded myself. Rhys wasn’t self-righteous. He could be cold and calculating sometimes, but his instincts were usually right. I had to remind myself that Tamlin was bitter and broken after everything. He’d been kicked after he was already down, and lashing out.

I wanted to put on the cold, amused, wicked mask Rhys used to wear as the High Lord of the terrifying Night Court; but that mask had never belonged to me, and I would never find it comfortable. “After our parents died, he was the one who finished raising me, so I suppose that would make sense,” I said levelly instead. “I’m trying to help you, Tamlin. For your sake as well as well as the sake of Prythian as a whole. Use my ideas or don’t—I owe you nothing now.”

He snarled again. I summoned my wings and flared them.

“Get some rest, Tamlin. You look tired,” I said.

As he snapped his teeth, I winnowed out of the manor. Back home.

—

The antechamber of the townhouse between the front door and the frosted glass door greeted me. I stepped through the frosted glass door.

My brother was waiting for me in the sitting room, lounging on the sofa. “Where have you been?” His tone was casual, but I sensed there was some irritation behind it.

“Out,” I replied.

“I guessed as much,” he said.

“Didn’t realize I had to report all of my comings and goings to you.” My words held more bite than I intended, but I managed not to flinch at them.

Rhys picked up a crystal glass with a knuckle length of liquid in it from the side table and eyed me over the top of it as he took a sip. “You don’t,” he finally said. “But I would appreciate being told you’re going out and when you think you’ll be back so I don’t worry about you when I wake up and find you gone.”

“He turned the whole house upside down looking for you!” Feyre called from the kitchen.

I instantly felt guilty. “Did you not see my note?” I asked.

“What note?” Rhys demanded.

I felt where it was in the house and then summoned it to me. “I left this on my bed. I was gonna put it in your bedside but I figured you’d check my room first if you got worried.” I handed him the paper. He unfolded it. The note was short—all it said was: Running an errand. Be back in an hour, max. -Me—but it took him a long time to read it.

His eyes turned up to me. His pupils had narrowed to tiny points. “Why do you smell of the Spring Court?” The words were strained.

I heard something clank in the kitchen. Feyre dropped something at my brother’s words.

Rhys put my note on the side table beside his drink and stood up, wings extending just a bit. He towered over me—I was only an inch shorter than Feyre but Rhys had always been so big. His eyes bored into me. I felt his talons scratching at my mental shield. Not a request for entry. An order.

“You promised never to break into my head,” I said sharply.

“I will if it means keeping these people safe. Our people. What were you doing in the Spring Court? Going for a leisurely walk through the woods?”

I flared my wings out a little too. Both of us animals trying to appear bigger than we were to be more intimidating. “I’m allowed to have a private life, Rhysand. I didn’t jeopardize the Night Court at all.”

Feyre appeared in the sitting room. I wondered if she’d considered getting in between us. I wanted to warn her off. I could deal with Rhys myself. Had been doing so long before she was born. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her help—I just wanted to handle this conversation with my brother alone.

“You revealed to Tamlin you’re alive, didn’t you?” Rhys demanded. His talons scraped harder against my mental shield. I reinforced it.

“Yes,” I said.

My brother swore as his mate gasped quietly. “Why would you do that? Do you know how dangerous—”

“Of course I do. But the fact remains that if it weren’t for him, I’d be dead. The fact remains that I owed him my life. The fact also remains that the Spring Court borders the mortal lands and is absolutely barren of faeries. With good reason. Feyre did the right thing in revealing to the court what kind of male he is, but that border still needs to be monitored. I know Tarquin is fine stationing sentries on the border but those sentries will eventually get tired of it, even if he swaps them out. It would be best for the Spring Court to have, at most, the ability to protect its own borders.”

“What were you doing there?”

“I spent the past week brainstorming plans for rebuilding the Spring Court. I merely delivered them, told Tamlin my debt to him was paid, and left. My life, for getting his back on track. He deserves everything that happened to him, but we need the Spring Court’s borders to be secure. Are you going to keep berating me or can I go upstairs and wash off the smell of that place?”

Rhys looked like he wasn’t going to stop glaring at me for the next decade.

I summoned one of the copies I’d made of my plans from my pocket realm and shoved them into his chest. “Go ahead. Read them. Or don’t. I don’t care. I’m going to go take a bath.”

I stomped over to the stairs and stomped up them. From behind, I heard Feyre say softly, “You’re being a little hard on her.”

Before I heard my brother’s reply, I slammed the door shut to my room.

—

When I emerged, freshly cleansed of all the floral scents of the Spring Court clinging to my skin, my brother was in the hallway outside my room.

“I read your plans,” he said flatly, almost begrudgingly. “The one about turning the Spring Court into a haven for faeries displaced from their homes in other courts during this past war was particularly impressive.”

I made a mental note to thank Feyre later. I assumed she had convinced him to at least be civil, even though I could tell he was still furious with me for being reckless with the secret that I was still alive. No one outside of Velaris had known that I’d been rescued and recovered from my injuries. I’d spent centuries staying solely in the city, being safe. A foray into the Spring Court was a welcome change.

I finished tying off my braid. “And?” I prompted. I wanted to see what else was on his mind.

Rhys didn’t reply immediately. Just stared at me with a sharp hone to his gaze. “And,” he repeated, “I think you made a good decision. Even if I don’t particularly relish the thought of Tamlin knowing you’re alive.”

“Thanks.”

“Also, I find it hilarious that on every single plan, you’ve written multiple times to have him claim all the ideas as his own. Though you definitely deserve the credit for it.”

“Be that as it may, it’ll look stronger coming from him. What did Feyre think?”

“Feyre hasn’t read them yet. I don’t think she wants to.”

“That’s fine. I know she’s angry at him. She has every right to be. I’m angry at him too, actually, for how he treated her. He deserves the ruin she brought upon him. He deserved being outed as the beast that he is. But, unfortunately, we need his court strong enough to protect its borders.”

“I agree. Maybe next time, though, if you have incredibly savvy political plans for another court, let me deliver them?”

“Tamlin wouldn’t have listened to you. He didn’t even want to listen to me. Not even after I told him you had no idea I was there.” I shrugged. “Next time I have savvy political plans for another court, I’ll just winnow the pages to the High Lord’s assistant’s desk under the guise of a citizen submitting them. This one was just a delivery I needed to make in person—so that he’d know I owe him nothing anymore.”

Rhys gathered me into a hug. “You’re a really annoying little sister, you know that?”

I smiled. “That’s my job.”

#ACOTAR #ACOTAR Imagine #ACOTAR FanFiction #Rhysand #Rhysand Imagine #Rhysand FanFiction #featuring #Tamlin #hooray #A Court Rebuilt

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veliseraptor · 3 years

Text

2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year.

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting.

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment.

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really.

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things.

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year:

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write:

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head.

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January.

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings.

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write:

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment:

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them.

Biggest Surprise:

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

#fanfiction round up #confessions of a frustrated writer #you'll get my fun statistical analysis nonsense later

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Note

after jared has now confirmed on that podcast that the last scene of the show will just be sam + dean, i hope everyone can stop speculating about cas being there. he is not. (that of course doesnt mean hes not in the ep at all)

For those who WANT to actually listen, you can see it here (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jared-padalecki-returns/id1256754097)

While I intend to talk on this statement left by the Nonnie there's a few other things to talk about. For those specifically interested in THIS QUOTE, it’s part “Ten” in my notes.

Before I go on, lemme say, I keep saying Misha *isn’t* in the final *shot.* I can also say *ten thousand times* that “the final shot” is NOT THE SAME THING AS THE “FINAL SCENE.” I don’t know how many times I have to beat this into people’s heads. The “Final scene” may not even BE the final shot because for all you know, the last final scene is something like around scene 50 and the last 10 shots are some Swan Song montage with a dialogue. Scenes are also composed of *multiple shots* on the regular, and *very rarely* shot in order. So actually, it depends on what you even consider a ~scene~ but a shot and a scene are not the same thing. No matter how many times people choose to misunderstand this, this will continue to be true.

As it is, the board already going up to 47 was high. Not unheard of, but high. I absolutely do not think anybody should be surprised if that’s actually closer to the last 5 minutes of the episode and the next 10+ shots are literal full blown montage. Because once again, and I can not emphasize this enough, they are not teleporting to a bridge at the end of the fucking show. I repeat, they are not, in the last 20-40 seconds, teleporting to a bridge at the end of the fucking show. And they weren’t on that location any other day.

But I also know this fandom takes anything that’s in shorthand and blows it up into the worst case extremization, so I’m actually going to address this and even tag @curioussubjects and @winchestersingerautorepair and point out that Jared talks about “the last time Sam and Dean see each other” -- so enjoy that. See you on the other side, brother.

Okay so first, as a general note related to everything, that particular podcast is a mess. There is literally 17 minutes of nothing related to Jared at the start. It's a mix of sadness about how he knew a relative was dying, sadness, people's sad facebook messages which I get, losing someone is sad--but then a bunch of nonsense about ads and swag and sponsors. Like to anyone preparing to actually listen, you can skip to about 17 minutes in.

One: Confirmed they started quarantining (J2 at least) on Aug 2. 14 days gave them a few days before filming. But they refused to break quarantine even to walk the dogs to not reset the quarantine period. (This is one of the first things they talk about after the barrage of ads and other things)

Two: Jared has some great insight on how and why to let a dog go. He jumped it a little sooner than I would I think, but he talks about knowing when they're in pain or suffering. He gave assistance to her bad hips and other things through late life but saw when the spark left her and she wanted to go. Someone will probably try to problematize this but as someone that witnessed someone refusing to put down their dog while she spent half of her day having seizures and shitting herself, huffing, being terrified and unable to move, that was impressive. (This starts somewhere around 22 and goes to about 31:30, it's about a ten minute segment.)

Three: after this they actually go into the show, it also lets us know that the podcast is *recorded early on in filming*. It's talking about the first few days he left for filming. This wasn't just-now recorded. This is a few weeks old, like most Inside of You podcasts are.

Four: Jared ignores social media a lot, he confirms.

Five: He goes on having to talk about saying goodbye to a 15 year friend, never having gone more than 5 months without playing Sam, the process of being in the moment. It boils down to staying distanced from social media and your phone to be in the internet, which can actually add to feeling alone. (This may not be true for everyone, but I can definitely see why it feels so for Jared--he admits it's somewhat escapism.) Rosenbaum debates what counts as connection, but Rosenbaum also doesn't deal with a bajillion shitty comments from all his fandom lanes. He uses the podcast as an example, which is entirely different than Jared talking about ignoring twitter or instagram.

(Commercial break at 39 for a counseling/therapy service, runs to about 41 then one for a toothbrush rofl goes to about 43:15, so basically a 4 minute commercial break)

Six: Jared talks about his clinical anxiety impact on the final shooting and everything and why it was so important to have his dog with him during quarantine. He started terrified about it but got 4-5 days in and realized it was great. The wife and kids even considered going with him but he said it was okay and declined. After 45 he goes on complimenting his wife and the work she does at home.

Seven: He goes back to March 12 being the last day of filming back before covid and everyone had to run home on Friday the 13th of March LOL. So Supernatural got cursed on Friday the 13th. Rolling back to everything Gen has to do with the kids and the routine, goes back to talking about her. Talks about being the New Toy from dad being home so much. But then back to August first day of shot as an outdoor shoot. How early it was. So 21pt1 was an outdoor shoot. They continue to go on and on about how hard having kids is, if rewarding, until after 50 minutes. This converts into a conversation with his psychiatrist about his kids, his mom's birthday during social distancing, and all kinds of other commentary. Difference of psychologist vs psychiatrist. Loves sugar cuz he couldn't have it as a kid, etc.

Eight: This bit carries them all the way out past the hour mark. Just before the hour is where the "pain" section from the promo comes from. It turns into mortality and fear of death. Turns into stuff like natural childbirth. So from an hour to 1:03:00 it goes on, then it turns into another ad break that goes to about 1:07:15

Nine: How emotional the ending is, reading the script every day, remembering places start after the 1:07:15 commercial end. First week they shot up the old highway for example. Jared saying goodbye to locations he knows. Very bittersweet. There are no pickup shots because of covid.

Ten: The final scheduled moment, what you're talking about, and Jared tried very very VERY difficultly. (1:08:30 or so) -- he struggles and says "The last time Sam and Dean see each other is the last time Jared and Jensen see each other, if that makes any sense." He refused to say what the last scene was. It will be the last filming camera moments together. Which unto itself uh, hi, yes, welcome to every speculation I ever had, see you on the other side brother. Because it's the last time they see each other.

Eleven: After a bit about being emotional, they talk about Jared’s arrest, the trolling about orange jumpsuits from the crew, and asking what happened. Jared doesn’t even entirely know what happened, says it’s not an excuse, but the cliff’s notes are he was filming in Van, then he flew to Austin, he had a double date with Gen and two friends, he went to his friend’s bar (we alllll know Stereotype), they split some wine, a cocktail, hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept, bachelorette parties and show fans bought him drinks, he doesn’t know what even happened, he thinks he was blacked out, got pulled down by his hair and thought he was in a fight. He hasn’t had a drink since, he was like absolutely fucking nope. He literally wonders if he was drugged in the drinks he took from other people, but either way, he’s completely stopped drinking. It goes into them settling and actually the people thinking he was drugged, which is why the legal followthrough was light. This goes out to almost 1:20:00.

Twelve: Around then he goes on about Walker’s pickup period, how and when shooting normally works, and it’s all kinda in the air because of Walker, shortseasons because of covid etc.

Final question blast:

Supernatural movie?: Jared hopes so

Channel chuck norris?: Make Walker his own, has nothing to do with Chuck’s walker even if he grew up watching it in texas, new character, new story, new era.

Paranormal experiences of his own?: He has seen some things, experienced some things he can’t explain, but as far as specifically, “definitively no but possibly yes.”

Talked with Chuck Norris at all?: Not talked to him directly, their “people” have talked, had to give his blessing though because Chuck Norris co-owned the rights. Part of the EP group and ownership.

If you had a chance, what superhero would you play: He’s heard Nighthawk from fans, he kinda sits there quietly thinking and has a hard time. Screentested for the Superman McG movie in 2004 but didn’t get it.

The car wasn’t in either of their contracts. Jared actually goes on that despite images Jared’s actually the car guy more than Jensen. It wasn’t in either of their contracts but they kinda just knew it was gonna happen. He goes on about his favorite cars, his car books and parts books since he was a kid, etc.

-----------

Following through on this, I HAVE to keep saying. 47/A47 is, I would bet 5 dollars on it right here and anyone that wants to bet against it can leave a comment in the notes so I know who owes who money, Sam and Dean having their final talk already post major resolutions with a few more ends to tie up, saying their pre-goodbyes, and shot 60 is Sam and Dean’s final shot of going separate ways, with Sam on one side and Dean on the other.

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whatiwillsay · 4 years

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hey! i love your blog and i've read the swiftgron masterpost. i'm kinda wondering what songs (you're pretty sure) are about dianna?

(also i think wanegbt is abt di but it's more of taylor poking fun of her and di's on/off rs rather than a "shady" breakup song. i kind of see some parallels between wanegbt and ayhtdws)

oh yessss last time i got this question it ripped the fandom asunder (kidding but you know people disagree w me)

ok let’s start with Red

SINCE I CLEARLY PROVED AND ESTABLISHED THAT SWIFTGRON WAS NOT ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED UNTIL SPRING OF 2012 BECAUSE BOTH LADIES SEEM TO BE INVOLVED WITH OTHER WOMEN UP UNTIL THAT POINT CLICK HERE FOR PROOF OF ALL OF THAT

it’s fair to say none of the breakup songs are about Dianna

state of grace mentions four blue eyes, a fire sign, and is a breakup song so not dianna

red = breakup song = not dianna

we know IKYWT was not about her because breakup song

taylor said treacherous was about the same person as IKYWT so we cannot claim that song (SADLY I WISH WE COULD IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL) All Too Well = written long before dianna was on the scene and a breakup song so not Dianna

22 = well her damn name is in the liner notes so this is the first song we can canonically claim for swiftgron nation yasssss

I almost do = break up = nope

we are never ever getting back together - this one i waver on. the indie record line is dianna to a T and it is very light-hearted and almost satirical song. i think it’s possible it was born out of silly tiff the two had, but one issue with claiming this for swiftgron nation is when taylor wrote the song in June the girls had not been separated for an entire month so the “we hadn’t seen each other in a month when you said you needed space line” would be sort of “inaccurate” (ofc it’s music/poetry so you know taylor could easily fudge that detail/use hyperbole in a song but still now that i know the timeline as well as i do i have to note that) - dianna did tweet about that song so perhaps she was claiming it, perhaps she was just celebrating her girl - i’m undecided here y’all tell me who it’s about

stay stay stay = i’ve heard it was written in 2010 but never seen a receipt. if it wasn’t then i would claim it. y’all tell me.

the last time = breakup song written just as swiftgron was happily ramping up in spring 2012 = not dianna

holy ground = breakup/reflective song written before swiftgron was together = not dianna (YES i KNOW about the note on the door with the joke they made but i think that’s a coincidence - the song was written before that party)

sad beautiful tragic = nope break up so not dianna

the lucky one = written either right before or right after they got together, supposed to be about joni Mitchell right? posssssibly inspired a bit by dianna’s experience in Hollywood? but i don’t think so. this was before she was written out of glee.

everything has changed = YEP swiftgron love ANTHEM. (i think it was originally written for liz with her Gemini status and green eyes but taylor flipped the lyrics and dianna tweeted that bitch the day red came out it’s HERS)

starlight = about the Kennedys but maybe a hint of the swiftgron early love story hidden in there begin again = swiftgron love anthem!!! come back... be here = swiftgron love anthem!

the moment i knew = no

girl at home = no

now for 1989

welcome to ny = not dianna but it’s a skip anyway so who cares? it’s a friendship song about appreciating the city and maybe hints of karlie

blank space = nope satirical reflective song

style = yes cam’s fav thankfully is a swiftgron anthem!!!

out of the woods = i used to think was a song ab bearding with harry but just last night while recording a pod ep i decided no it’s a swiftgron song! listen to it today click here

all you had to do was stay = yep and tbh (aside from babe) that’s as bad as it gets for our girl i personally think. taylor has dropped some absolute DISS TRACKS about exes and people she has beef with but dianna never got put on blast compared to mad woman, should've said no, dear john, among others

shake it off = nope and skip

i wish you would = yep about dianna driving by her house after they were broken up in fall of 2013

bad blood = i kind of do think this is about katy perry but it’s not about a business dispute idk i don’t know how to exactly explain but it’s a vibe

wildest dreams = song about karlie that she wrote through the lens of just having had a rough breakup with dianna “i can see it ends as it begins” she’s nervous at the start because she’s scared kaylor will end the same way, but in general it’s about karlie tho the hint of a swiftgron breakup is in the air

how you get the girl = yep about dianna (supposedly proposing tho tbh i don’t know if i believe that)

this love = yep about her and dianna reuniting in fall 2012 i know places = so i know supposedly kimby kloss liked a tweet that said it was about karlie (haven’t seen the receipt but whatever) but kaylors gotta pick blue or green eyes. dianna has green eyes. taylor starts singing about blue eyes when she gets with karlie, and also taylor writes the line “we are the foxes” i believe she had already written that line or had it planned out when she wore that stupid fox sweater when she was out with harry in nyc because she was planning on people tying that lyric back to that day and tie the song to harry because she’s insane like that:

so if she had already written the line at the time of this hangout the song is about dianna (or you know...harry if you’re into that but if you are why are you on this blog bye)

clean = yes swiftgron breakup anthem

wonderland = i think about kellie pickler

you are in love = about karlie but early drafts supposedly contained the lyric you were in love so maybe originally about looking back on her relationship with dianna but taylor firmly gave it to karlie with that Instagram post

new romantics = just about friends and fun and should have replaced welcome to ny

OTHERS:

babe obviously

and i think you can make differing strengths of arguments for other post 1989 songs but none i would lose sleep over someone telling me it wasn’t dianna

so it goes..., death by a thousand cuts, and the 1 are the ones i think there are the strongest arguments for

also i think lea michele’s songs battlefield and on my way are about her but who asked

also thank you for loving my blog this blog loves you back!

also to be clear i don’t know for sure who any songs are actually about let me make it clear that this is just my best guess and opinion

also the thing ab wonderland being about kellie pickler was a joke it’s obviously the loudest most obnoxious swiftgron song in existence

#Anonymous

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snowdice · 4 years

Text

Food You’ll Never Eat (Part 3 of the Series “Is There Anything Left of Patton?”

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Virgil & Patton (?) Virgil & Logan, Logan/Patton(?)

Characters: Virgil, Patton(?), Logan

Summary: And was this cruel, Virgil had to wonder, to the man that Patton used to be? To the men they both used to be? To drag what was left of Patton back into the world of the living? To tie him down to the couch he once picked out himself? To let him look blankly out the window into a world he’d never be a part of again? Virgil was not sure. He just knew that usually when Logan and Patton were in the same room together, Virgil could feel the heartbreak and mourning drowning them all.

This though? This was almost, almost, funny.

Notes: Zombie Apocalypse AU, Past major character death(?), Look it’s a zombie AU so you can probably guess why there’s a question mark after everything involving Patton. Angst. It’s a little funnier than the last two parts?? Maybe? Zombie Patton is a little funny if you forget the whole horrifying painful death that caused it. Logan still cries of course.

The third part of a series of one-shots called Is There Anything Left of Patton?

Previous parts:

“Something Left”

“Someone You’ll Never Meet”

Convincing Logan to bring Patton upstairs had been frustratingly difficult considering how badly Logan clearly wanted it. It had not been helped by the fact that Virgil had snuck around behind his back to do something “objectively stupid.” (Hypocritical considering how Logan had snuck around behind his back for months and went into the cage many times to do said “objectively stupid” thing himself. But, you know. Whatever.)

“I tested it with a rat first,” Virgil had defended himself, shaking the cage he’d been holding, “Luckily for Nibbles, Patton isn’t interested in live meat.”

“Luckily for you,” had been the retort.

It had led to a series of arguments over the next couple of weeks with interactions such as…

“Why would you even want to do that?”

“I wanted to know. Sue me for wanting to be aware if there was ticking time bomb in the basement that could come and bite me in the ass at any moment. Literally.”

and…

“Well, I’ve kinda grown to like Patton.”

“Patton’s a zombie! He might as well be that chair.”

“Look I’m not going to listen to a lecture on my attachment issues by a guy who keeps his dead boyfriend’s corpse in his basement.”

and…

“He might be more comfortable up here.”

“Patton isn’t going to be comfortable anywhere ever again.”

“But what’s left of him might be.”

“…”

It was still a trial run. Neither of them was exactly going to sleep with Patton upstairs, and so Logan always wrestled him back downstairs at night. During the day, they didn’t let him freely roam the house; they’d finagled him what was basically a man-sized toddler leash. He… did not seem to like the leash. He tried to yank on it every time they pulled him around on it, but he never managed to think about using the simple clasp to get out of it even after he saw Virgil and Logan use it multiple times. He didn’t even seem to understand that Virgil and Logan were the source of the tugging, simply turning his ire on the belt itself.

He was all instinct. Struggle against things that pulled on you, grab for things that moved or made sound, eat things that your body wanted to eat. There was no more thought put into his actions than Virgil put into the act of breathing.

Virgil had secretly hope that brining him upstairs into what was once his home and not keeping him completely restrained all the time would make him act… he didn’t know… more human? Like, maybe there’d be a spark of recognition in his eyes when he saw his old bedroom, or he’d want to reach out for one of the stuffed animals Logan set out for him. But he just didn’t. He reacted, but only on the most basic levels. He would hear Logan or Virgil speak, but what they said made no difference. He would watch them move, sometimes getting up from the couch or chair they’d attached him to in order to follow them and then blindly swiping the leash when it pulled him back. Yet, he’d react the same way if they threw something large enough or if he caught site of an animal outside the window. He would reach and reach for them, but whatever it was his zombie brain seemed to want, he would never find it.

The only time he took any initiative was when there was food in the area and god was Virgil glad that he and Logan apparently did not register as food to the guy because holy fuck. The first time Virgil had seen him eat a potato, he’d almost thrown up. Like, the meat was one thing. He’d been prepared for the meat. It was fine, but the potato? He shuddered in memory even now. His mind could just not accept it. Also, he was also absolutely unstoppable when food was in the area. They had quickly learned to not attempt to cook or eat anything the zombie found palatable with him in reaching distance because, whatever it was, would be going into his mouth, no argument to be had.

Yet, despite it all, Virgil could not regret bringing him up here. Perhaps there was nothing of a person left under all of that instinct, but he still seemed calmer upstairs. Virgil was fairly certain it had more to do with the lack of restraints than the fact that his surroundings were nicer. While he pulled against the leash sometimes, it was easy for him to forget about it. He didn’t breathe quite as heavily or make as many sickening noises. He still tried to grab them when they were near, much like other zombies did (just without the biting), but it seemed just a touch less desperate.

Then there was Logan. Virgil felt a bit conflicted about Logan. He clearly wanted Patton upstairs, but at the same time, Virgil often caught him looking at the zombie wistfully. Logan was sadder when he was upstairs, but at least he was emoting something. He was less blank and emotionless. He tended to talk more even if those words were almost always tinged with melancholy. When Logan looked at Patton, he clearly could see that he wasn’t the man he loved anymore, but he was something.

And was this cruel, Virgil had to wonder, to the man that Patton used to be? To the men they both used to be? To drag what was left of Patton back into the world of the living? To tie him down to the couch he once picked out himself? To let him look blankly out the window into a world he’d never be a part of again? Virgil was not sure. He just knew that usually when Logan and Patton were in the same room together, Virgil could feel the heartbreak and mourning drowning them all.

This though? This was almost, almost, funny.

“What did… what did you do to my dining room?” Logan asked aghast when he walked downstairs to see what looked to be going on two dozen plates and bowls of barely touched food haphazardly stacked across the table, something red (distinctly not blood thankfully) all over Virgil and the carpet, and silverware and cups on the floor.

“Patton and I are trying different foods,” Virgil said as though it were the most natural thing in the world. “He really did not like the tomato soup.”

Logan rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “He is clearly an obligatory carnivore. What is the point of this?”

Virgil didn’t answer him. Instead, he set down yet another plate in front of Patton. Logan bristled a bit at the dismissal. “I heard your no on tomatoes loud and clear buddy,” he addressed Patton. “So, maybe we should stick with root vegetables from the oven. I present for your culinary experience, oven roasted carrots.” Patton stared straight forward, not even looking at the plate. “Please dude. I can’t take the only eating potatoes thing. I really can’t. It’s going to drive me bonkers.”

“This is completely unnecessary and ridiculous,” Logan hissed.

“Well, what else am I supposed to do with him Logan?” Virgil asked. “It’s not like we can play chess or have an invigorating conversation about the meaning of the universe.”

“You’re not supposed to do anything with him,” Logan snapped. “He’s not a person anymore. He’s not even a pet. He’s lawn furniture that can walk. He’s a fucking corpse that just isn’t in the ground yet.”

“Then why is he here Logan?”

“Because you wanted to bring him up from the basement!” Patton turned at his increased volume and stumbled to his feet to paw at Logan. Logan pushed him firmly away, but he just kept coming.

“No. If that’s what you think,” Virgil said. “then why is he here, Logan?”

“Because,” Logan shut his mouth. He grabbed Patton’s wrist in his hand to keep it from him and looked away from them both. “Because I love him,” Logan said. He squeezed the hand and got nothing in return. “Because I love him and he’s not here anymore. Sometimes I find myself pretending, but I know he’s not.” he looked up to stare into Patton’s blank eyes. There was no spark to them, and there was no emotion on the face that used to be so open and dynamic. He used to always smile and joke and offer soft touches. Now there was nothing left but the way he struggled to grab at Logan’s face. “Yet…” he continued. “There is something there. Just… just a little piece. Not nearly him, but something. I can’t… I can’t let him go.” He roughly used his unoccupied hand to wipe a tear that had leaked out of one of his eyes away. “And he’s not a toy. He may not be a person anymore, but he was once.”

“I…” Virgil said softly, “I know that Lo. I’m not playing games with him, I swear. I just thought maybe he’d like some other food. Might as well give him things he likes, right?”

Logan let out a soft sob against his will and Virgil’s arms went carefully around him even as the new sound renewed Patton’s efforts to get to him. “I would have let him kill me,” Logan divulged. “When I found him. He was trapped and I knew he wasn’t there anymore, but I let him loose because I knew I couldn’t kill him or leave him there. I couldn’t live without him.”

“Oh Logan,” Virgil sighed. Logan turned from Patton into Virgil’s chest and Virgil rubbed his back as he cried even when Patton started up the grabbing at the back of his head now that he was released. After a few moments, Logan managed to wrestled control over himself.

He stepped back and started to push Patton back toward the chair he’d been sitting in. He aimlessly shoved back. “That’s how I figured out he wouldn’t hurt me,” he told Virgil. He finally got Patton shoved back into the chair. “You’d never hurt me, would you dear?” There was no answer from Patton except to wiggle against the hold, but then again, he’d already answered that question, hadn’t he? He answered it every moment of every day that the mindless husk of himself never tried to harm Logan. He answered it right now when all he did was push against the arms restraining him and never tilted his head down to bite.

Logan knew, logically, it was probably only some kink in the code of whatever virus or parasite the disease was, but some part of him couldn’t help but think that maybe just a part of it was an echo of the man he loved.

Patton gave up the struggle to get back up eventually, more forgetting than relenting. There were a few more moments of silence and then Logan turned to Virgil and forced a small smile. “So, what are you going to try to feed him next? Just a warning, he didn’t care for tomatoes when he was alive.”

“I really wish you’d told me that before he sprayed soup everywhere.”

“How exactly did that happen?”

“I tried to spoon feed him and he must have not liked the smell or the touch of the metal on his lips because he slapped the spoon away. His arm hit the bowl too and I got surprised and knocked over some glasses.”

Logan found himself chuckling. “That’s surprisingly in character for Patton,” he said. “Once we talked about his dislike for tomatoes and he told me that he was fine with cooked ones meaning, of course, in spaghetti sauce or on pizza but hated them raw. So, I cooked him grilled whole tomatoes. He threw them at me.”

Virgil laughed with him. “Well, maybe I’m going about this the wrong way. What did he like to eat?”

Logan hummed. “He would eat dill pickles straight from the jar. I’d call him a heathen and try to take them away from him.”

“You’re the heathen; dill pickles are good.”

“Disgusting,” Logan replied. “He also had a sweet tooth. Particularly for snickerdoodle cookies.”

“Hmm,” Virgil said, “alright. So, we’ll work with the cucumber family and sugar and see where it goes.”

Patton did eat two pickles on his own power later that day. It was… not any more pleasant to watch than the potatoes.

Want to read more? The next part of this series is

Things You’ll Never Do

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #logicality #?#adriana writes #zombie au #past major character death #angst #italop #platonic analogical #platonic moxiety #(sorta?)

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bathroombreaks · 4 years

Text

gg 1x01 rewatch

the questions are from @pynkhues, you can find them here.

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

oooh it’s def the scene where the girls are getting ready to rob fine & frugal. i just find it hilarious that they’re about to rob a store and they’re talking about how their kids are doing in school?? like, what absolute lunatics!! and i think it sets up their dynamic very well right from the beginning, idk. everyone’s always saying that the three girls have a very lived-in chemistry and i agree and i think you can feel it right from this first scene of them together

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

idk?? i’m very bad at reading and watching things critically, i’m very easy to please, i think?? and this ep just makes me pleased as punch!! but i guess that the scene with beth and amber, while funny, doesn’t really hit the mark for me?? idk, the way she’s framed as a “beautiful dummy” and not as much at fault as dean kind of irks me. i totally get that dean is the married one, but amber clearly knew he was married and somewhat regularly saw his wife, i don’t think she should really be absolved of that. and, idk, i don’t like that she basically got a prize for cheating - like, “here, you helped my husband cheat on me, so take some money to go live your dreams” is such a weird response?? beth was very scathing in the delivery and i get the point was for amber to be out of their lives but, like, still?? why not just tell dean he has to fire her?? this just further proves that beth is an idiot and an absolute lunatic, which we already knew

3. Let’s talk about the Big 6 Character Intros – Beth, Ruby, Annie, Dean, Stan, Rio. What did you think? What did you like? What did you dislike?

oooh i really liked all of them!!!

i absolutely love annie’s, it’s so fun with the car speeding and then with her banter with ben. i love the way they set up their dynamic right from the get go!!

and then ruby and stan’s intro was also amazing!! you get right away that they love each other so much and are so supportive of each other!! the way they both gesture when sara is talking about the women standing next to the men is so cute!!! i love it!!

rio’s is also amazing, he’s a snarky little bitch right from the get go and they really did a great job of also surprising us, thanks to the camera angle, and really driving home that he’s the boss.

i think the one i liked the least is actually beth and dean’s?? i mean, they do a good job of immediately letting you know that beth is the overworked mother and dean is the lazy, good-for-nothing husband - i mean, she’s running around, taking care of everything, and then he just strolls in and asks the kids to go to the car, without even having his tie done. but i think it’s a little misleading and i think it’s one of the reasons why the fandom (including myself) maybe has a harder time accepting beth staying with dean (aside from the fact that dean is a fucking asshole and he deserves nothing less than a horrible death, i mean)?? it really sticks in your mind this contempt she seems to have for him?? and, of course, then you get the flashback to beth getting waxed for him, and so you understand that they were maybe going through a bit of a rough patch but she wanted to work through it, but what sticks in your mind is that first scene, where she’s full of contempt, not even able of saying a perfunctory i love you back. and since they seem to want to drag out the boland marriage as much as possible, i think they kind of failed there.

4. Ruby tells Stan to fix the damn door! Is Stan an amazing handyman? A terrible one???

i think stan is anywhere from ok to amazing, they’re just so overworked that he hasn’t had time?? idk, paired with the fact that he says he’s pulling a double at the beginning of the ep and that it doesn’t seem to be a new or uncommon thing, it just reads to me like a thing he really does want to take care of at some point but hasn’t found the time to do yet

5. Do you think Beth, Ruby or Annie had a way out of their individual financial situations that didn’t involve crime?

in short: nope. in long:

ruby and stan are desperate. they mention stan’s parents at some point, but i assume they just don’t have the money to help them?? and, i mean, they’re both working double shifts and they mention that they’ve had their gofundme page up for years. i think if they had any other way they absolutely would’ve already taken it, for sara’s sake.

we can assume from the flashbacks we get in 2x08 that annie and beth didn’t have as stable a home life as all that. i assume that either their parents are both now dead or they just have no communication with them. either way, they don’t have them as a safety net.

when it comes to annie, she’s working a minimum wage job, driving a very shitty car and her kid’s laptop has been broken for a month without her being notified, because said kid knows they don’t have the money to get a knew one. she does ask for help from the richest person the girls know later (that’s how i think they phrased?? i’m pretty sure), her ex, who promptly says no. so, yeah, it’s safe to say she doesn’t have a way out of her financial situation either.

and, in regards to beth, i think she would absolutely help ruby (and annie) if she could. so the fact that she doesn’t, paired with the fact that we get mentions later that this is not the first time dean has managed to basically bankrupt the car dealership, makes me assume that either the bolands were living close to paycheck to paycheck, but stable enough that she didn’t worry, or that she did think they had some spare money and did give that to them when she could?? because i don’t see how she would not give ruby the money for sara, if she thought she had it, especially when she does it later in the season.

so, no, i don’t really think any of the girls had safety nets or ways to get out of their financial situation. except for beth. she could’ve gotten a job. i know it would’ve been hard because of her lack of work experience, but she could’ve at least tried instead of immediately jumping to robbery!!

6. Is Beth’s backsplash dope? Or was Rio just being a dick??

both!! i mean, i personally like the backsplash, but rio was absolutely just being an asshole, whether or not he did believe it was dope had nothing to do with it.

7. Five major story locations were set up this episode – Ruby’s house, Beth’s house, Annie’s apartment, as well as Fine & Frugal and Boland Motors. Was there anything that jumped out for you about these locations in this episode? Do you think that they were well established given what happens in each across the course of the series?

ok so i don’t know enough about like tv shows and storylines and all that stuff to answer this, i’m sorry. but, like, i think it’s very cool that fine & frugal is robbed in the first and last episodes of season 1, it’s a fun full-circle type of thing, and i love that we’re introduced to boland motors via dean’s affair and beth’s destruction of it because it’s something that permeates the place throughout the whole time?? i mean, beth later “borrows“ one of the cars, rio smashes the corvette because of beth, it gets raided by the fbi because of beth’s illegal activities - beth is always destroying it, even when she’s not literally destroying something like in that first episode. and in season 2 we have beth fully realising just how deep dean’s betrayal was in the middle of the boland motors showroom. both of those things are always there!! it’s cool. and saying that, i mean, they kind of went the same route with boland bubbles, if you think about it?? we get dean cheating on her there, her fully realising how deep his betrayal is via gayle’s comments and then her clearly robbing the place?? boland bubbles really is just a continuation of boland motors

8. We met lots of supporting characters this episode too – in particular Boomer, Baby Tyler, Amber and Greg. Based off of what we saw of them in this episode, pick one, and tell us what you think!

i love baby tyler and amber!! i love that we’re introduced to baby tyler being all smiley and y’know a little bit ridiculous eating ice cream while on the job and maybe obviously inept because of it. and maybe you expect him to not do anything during the robbery because of that but then he really tries?? he thinks he’s facing off with 3 armed criminals and he really goes for it, he doesn’t cower like boomer!! he’s adorable!! and amber i already talked about and i know i was a bit harsh but i really do love her!! her oblivious comments are gold.

9. Screenshot and/or tell us about your favourite character look~ this episode.

frankly, this ep doesn’t really have any stand out looks for me?? the one exception is annie’s outfit when she picks up ben in the porsche. you can really tell how happy she is that she could one up nancy, that she’s proud of herself because she’s gonna get to give ben the laptop he needs.

10. This episode gives us some sharp character notes on Beth, Ruby and Annie – from Beth’s capacity for violence to Ruby’s visceral anger around being ignored, particularly when it comes to her daughter’s wellbeing, to Annie’s tendency to run a mile when given an inch. Is there a moment that stood out to you, particularly in light of future seasons?

ohhh i mean, there’s something to be said about beth’s capacity for violence uh? she keeps refusing to acknowledge it, because that doesn’t fit her stepford wife without a pulse image as annie calls it, but it’s always there - she’s always ready to blow up and throw some keys at your face. and ruby’s response to being ignored kind of screws her over?? she was very lucky jt only wanted her address for his nephew and didn’t become a second mary pat. idk, i’m sorry. like i said, not very good at critical thinking.

#stfu #txt #ggrewatch2020 #gg #nbc good girls #good girls nbc #omg this took me so long to write!!#also i didn't really understand the speed round which is why i ignored it.#when i see how other people do it i'll start doing it too

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spiralcompendium · 4 years

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Summary: After defeating Malistaire and subduing the Dragon Titan, the Savior of the Spiral returned to Earth. Now, after seven long years of teen angst and clinical depression, it is time for him to return to the Spiral.

Fandom: Wizard101 (Video Game)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences (Language)

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Ficlet, Slight Canon Divergence

Word Count: 1614

Full ficlet under the cut!~

Four boys huddled around a mostly demolished pizza, nearing the end of another night of complaining about classes and talking over each other. Despite their apathetic facades, anyone could see that both the bags under their eyes and the tension in their backs meant that their many sleepless nights were taking their toll. Adrian was especially listless, trying his best to ignore his backpack on the floor and pretend he didn’t have piles of homework for classes he didn’t care about.

“God, I miss being a kid and not having to worry about all this adult stuff,” one of his friends grumbled, handing his debit card to their waitress. Adrian groaned in agreement, as if they hadn’t already been complaining about it every day for the past few weeks.

“I miss feeling like I was the most important person in the world,” another responded. As the others continued the conversation without him, Adrian smiled to himself. He had never told anyone on Earth that as a child, he had been the most important person in many worlds. That is, him and--

The waitress stumbled over his backpack, then turned around and gave him a passive-aggressive reprimand. One of his friends kicked the backpack under his own seat as Adrian blurted out an apology, reminding himself (as he did almost daily) that those times were long gone.

The restaurant’s door banged open and ushered in both a flurry of air and a profound sense of peace and clarity. The boys subconsciously relaxed their shoulders and lowered their eyelids. Adrian recognized this unnatural feeling of relief--it was like the rush of endorphins moments before biological death. He turned away from his friends sitting around their stained table and watched as a young woman walked in. Dressed in black slacks and a white blouse that probably would have looked professional in the 1890s, she looked like any other theatre major stopping by to get dinner after a stressful day. Pausing just inside the door, she scanned the restaurant from left to right before her eyes met Adrian’s. He remembered those eyes: a blue so dark they almost looked black. His own eyes widened. ‘ What the hell is going on?’ he thought.

The girl marched toward Adrian with a grim countenance. “Aaron, you know her?” His friend nudged him and chuckled. Adrian realized he had spoken his thought out loud. “That’s intense. You look like you’re in trouble!” Adrian wiped his greasy hands on an even greasier napkin and got to his feet right as the girl reached the table.

The corners of Adrian’s lips curled up in an awkward smile. The girl drew a short breath, preparing to speak. “Morgan!” he said, interrupting her. He glanced at his friends. “Uh, ha, this is Morgan. Morgan, this is—”

She held her hand up. “I don’t care. I’d like to talk with you outside.” Her glassy voice slid over the syllables of her Wizard City accent. Adrian hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that voice.

His friends smirked, looking incredulous. The one who had first noticed her come in stuttered, “How do you know Aaron?”

Now Morgan looked a bit taken aback. A wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows. “I thought your name was Adrian Shadowblade—”

“Yeah, okay, let’s talk outside!” Adrian placed his hand on her back and pushed her towards the door as his friends erupted in confused laughter behind him. Morgan slapped his hands away, and, once she was confident that he really was following her outside, she balled up her hands into fists and stalked past him.

Adrian put his hands in his jacket pockets as they exited into the nighttime chill. Morgan looked so different since the last time he had seen her, when they were just two confused pre-teens tasked with saving the world. Now she looked like one of those kids who had a plan for each step of their career path, like she was well on her way to becoming an actual adult. “What the hell are you doing here?” Adrian spluttered.

“We need you to return to Wizard City.” Straight to the point. She hadn’t changed at all.

Adrian’s head jerked back. “What? Why?” He cringed as his voice cracked.

Morgan held her narrowed eyes on his, as irascible as ever. “There’s something afoot in Celestia, and Ambrose wants his ‘Savior of the Spiral’ to return, even though I’m plenty equipped to handle it on my own.”

Adrian shook his head, bewildered. “What’s ‘afoot’?” he asked, making air quotes. “Actually, don’t answer that. I really can’t come with you.”

Morgan crossed her arms and tried her best to look down at him, even though he was slightly taller. “You can--and will.”

Adrian laughed upwards. “The last time I was taken to Wizard City against my will, my parents thought I had been kidnapped—” Adrian threw up his hands with a sardonic grin. “--and I guess I had been! They were losing their minds from worry the whole time I was gone.”

Morgan was unmoved. “Tell them that you’ve gone on holiday to another worl--er, ‘country.’ And that you won’t be back for several months at least.”

Adrian gawked at her, amused. “They’re paying half of the bills for the classes I just started taking.” He looked at his feet and huffed. “Also, I’m in debt and have no business taking months-long vacations.”

Morgans nostrils flared. “So you’ll just leave them all to die, will you?”

Adrian blinked. “Um, what ?”

“The Celestians, Adrian. Keep up.” A few people walking by overheard Morgan and gave them both amused looks, probably assuming they were talking about some video game. Adrian gripped Morgan’s shoulders and moved her closer to the alley adjacent to the restaurant. Morgan shoved off his hands but remained close to him. When she spoke, her voice was quieter, but her tone was just as imperious. “When we adventured together, we saved entire worlds from destruction, but there are still people that need your-- our help. There are people being enslaved just as the Manders were, and there are innocents being caught in the middle of war just like in MooShu.” Damn it. Morgan knew exactly how to manipulate him. Adrian rolled his eyes in defeat. “You’re supposed to be our chosen one, so act like it!”

Adrian groaned. “What am I supposed to tell my parents this time?”

Morgan held her thumb to her mouth in thought. “The vacation excuse could work.”

“No.”

“Tell them a mysterious uncle appeared and invited you into an apprenticeship.”

“No. And they’re my parents--they would know about an uncle!”

“Tell them you entered into a whirlwind romance with a wealthy, aging widow who has invited you to live in her mansion far away.”

“No!”

“Ugh, I don’t have time for this!” Morgan shouted, as Adrian’s friends exited the restaurant. “Every second I stay here is using up the magic powering our ship. And we don’t have any way to refuel its Mana reserves while we’re here.” Adrian watched his friends approaching him from behind Morgan. “I don’t care if I have to knock you out and tie you up. You are coming with me immediately.”

Adrian’s eyebrows jerked up. He laughed awkwardly and waved back at the guys. “One sec!” He covered his cheek with one of his hands as they turned away to wait, sniggering amongst themselves. One of them made a dirty gesture with his fingers; Adrian was relieved that Morgan had her back to them.

He shifted his gaze back to Morgan, fidgeting with his jacket and bouncing his leg. “Okay. I guess I can say I decided to join the… Peace Corp or something. Even though that’s really not gonna hold up.” Morgan glared at Adrian, and he groaned. “Okay, but what the hell am I gonna do about my classes? At this point, they’re not gonna let me do a late withdrawal unless I have a doctor’s note for a life-threatening injury or something…” Adrian realized his mistake as soon as he said it.

Morgan beamed and raised her fist. “Easy enough.”

“Morgan!”

She smirked, then moved her hand to her neck and lifted an Amulet from under her shirt. Dark energy swirled around the jewel, bubbling like poison in a cauldron. “I don’t have any connection to my magic here, but I can still access the spell that’s kept in here.”

“And then you’ll heal me once we get back to the Spiral?”

“Only if you’re really nice to me.”

Adrian dropped his arms to his sides, cursing. “If I go with you... at least I’ll be able to do some good, I guess.” He hoped Morgan didn’t notice the grin that was becoming increasingly harder to hide. He gestured for Morgan to wait as he headed over to his friends.

“Here, you left your backpack inside,” said one of Adrian’s friends, who struggled not to grunt from its heavy weight as he handed it back to him. Adrian tousled his curly hair and gave superficial goodbyes, pretending like everything was normal. “See you later, Mr. Shadowblade,” his friend responded with a snicker. Each of the boys left to go back to their respective homes or dorms to study. Although Adrian’s backpack was heavy with textbooks and disorganized, crumpled paperwork, his shoulders hadn’t felt so light since he was eleven years old.

Morgan crossed her arms, trying to pretend she wasn’t shivering from the cold. “The backpacks here seem awful. I don’t know how people manage without enchantments to keep them light and spacious.”

Adrian gave his signature goofy grin. “I don’t even care anymore. I can’t wait to Spectral Blast the SHIT outta this!”

#wizard101 #w101 #my writing

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love-fireflysong · 4 years

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Day 30: Gift

Fandom: Tales of Phantasia Character(s): Cress Albane, Chester Burklight, Mint Adenade, Arche Klein, Claus F. Lester, Suzu Fujibayashi Words: 1944 Rating: General Author’s Notes: Here we are my lovelies. Day 30. And only one day late. I fucking did it. And now I’m not gonna look at a computer screen or word processor for at least a week while I catch up on Persona 5. (I’ve been going through vg withdrawls ya’ll)

Cress knows what his is. Has known since he was nine years old. The day that he was able to properly master his first sword strike. It had just been a standard downward slash, but he hadn’t tripped, or gone off-balance and fallen on his face, or smacked the practice sword into his leg. It had been a simple, clean, and precise downward strike. And his father had been so proud of him for doing it.

Miguel had picked him up in his arms, and spun Cress around, shouting for Maria to come and see! That their little boy was a bona fide swordsman and to show his mother what he can do. It had been one of the best days of life.

The next day, Miguel and Maria had stood solemnly in front of Cress and handed him a bright red headband. They told him that he was officially part of the training school, and that he was now a part of the Albane fighting style. That it would be his job to carry it and pass it on when the time came. Maria had tied the red cloth around his head, and with a cheer had run to go and show it off to Chester.

It’s the one part of his outfit that never changes, even as the years pass and his blond hair fades to white. He will never remove the headband. It’s all he has left to really remember his parents after all.

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Chester is a bit more complicated. He wants to say that it’s the scarf he wears, a birthday gift from Ami before Mars’ soldiers killed her, before everything really. The last thing she had ever given him that survived the fire and destruction of Toltus. But he knows it not. Knows that if anything, it’s his bow.

It hadn’t even been his bow originally either. It had been his mother’s first. Now, both his parents’ had been merchants. Travelling between Toltus and Euclid and Venezia, to deliver and buy goods of all sorts. But his father had been the merchant really, his mother had been more of the muscle as it were. Making sure that the beasts and monsters stayed far from the cart with her pin point accuracy and deadly aim. If Cress had always wanted to be like his father, than Chester wanted grow up and be his mother.

And whenever his parents got to stay home with him and Ami, his mother would always take Chester out on an archery lesson. Showing him how to properly fletch arrows, to take care of a bow, how to hold the bow steady no matter the danger. It was his most fond memories of childhood. And then the brigands had caught his parents unawares when they were returning from Euclid through the cliff pass. From what he had been told, as he was handed the bow that had once been his mother’s, that she had fought bravely. Nearly taking out every single one herself before succumbing to her injuries.

He spends the next few years determined to live up to her legacy, practicing with the bow everyday. So when it was lost and he thought destroyed in that first battle with Dhaos, he had been furious. Just one more thing that Dhaos had managed to take away from him. And then they were in the Elven Village, and watched Cress hand over the broken bow to the elven bowsmith and when he got it back, it was like it had never been broken. It was still his bow—his mother’s bow—no question about it. He would never forget the feel of it in his hands, but it was stronger now, more accurate, more deadly. And as he used it, he had never felt closer to her in his life.

When he finally becomes too old to use it, he hands it down to one of his kids, the one that had wanted to be a hunter just like him. He hopes that they too will pass it on.

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Like Cress, Mint has no hesitation about what her most favoured gift is. It is her hat. And like Chester, the hat was once her mom’s as well. She remember’s watching her mother work hard to save lives, to heal the sick and injured, to calm their souls. Remember’s learning under her careful and wise guidance to first heal small cuts and wounds, and then cure more powerful ailments of poison. In her young eyes, Meryl Adenade had been the pinnacle of clerical skill.

She hadn’t even wanted the hat in the first place. The unicorn earrings she always worn had been so pretty, and had wanted to try them on. They looked just as pretty as her mom did. Meryl had laughed at that, called her sweet to think so. But had promised her that just like her mother had given her the earrings, she too would pass them onto Mint when the time came. In the meantime, she had taken off her white cap, and placed it reverently on Mint’s head.

Mint had laughed at the time. It had been so large on her small head, nearly covering her eyes and blinding her to the motherly smile on her mom’s face. And Meryl had laughed with her, telling her that though it was too big for her now, she would grow into one day. Just like she would one day grow up to be a great Cleric, like her mother, and grandmother before her.

Unfortunately, the hat would be all she would ever receive. Meryl was killed by Mars, just like he had killed Cress’s parents and Chester’s sister, so she would never get the earrings as she had been promised. But it’s fine. The hat is more than enough. It is a sign of her station, that she is a healer first and foremost.

She will wait until she has her own daughter to pass it on too. And then watch as she grows into the hat just as Mint did.

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Despite being so different in all sorts of ways, it seems that Mint and Claus do have one thing in common. Like her, his favourite gift will always be his hat. But unlike her, it was not a gift from a deceased parent, but rather Mirald, though she had gotten it from their missing friend.

It had been not long after he had truly been evicted from the Alvanista Royal Academy for his studies on spirits and the possibilities for humans to use magic. Furious, Claus had started doing everything he could to prove those entitles assholes who had their head so far up their asses that they hadn’t seen the sun in years wrong. He found everything he could to confirm his theories, their theories. Sat through the agonizing pain as an old fortune teller painted magical seals onto his skin. Wore jewelry and odd clothes that would attract the attention of the spirits, to strengthen his bond with them. Anything to prove that he had been right.

That Mirald had been right. That he had been right.

She gifts the hat to him nearly ten years before Cress and Mint pop into his life and prove everything they had known to be true. Mirald tells him it’s to keep the sun from cooking his already baked brain any further. They both know its to cover the real reason, that he would want Claus to have it.

He swears that he will never pass it on. It wasn’t his to do so. It shouldn’t have even been Claus’s in the first place.

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Now, Arche knows exactly what people think hers is: her broom. It’s obivous isn’t it? She’s never without it, and hate’s to walk anywhere, preferring to fly. They would be wrong. A lesser few people might assume the blue ribbon she uses to tie her hair up. It’s closer to truth, but still not right.

The correct answer is actually the lone blue earring she wears in her left ear.

Her father had told her, that before her mom had died, that she had left the earring for Arche to remember her. To know that she would always be with her even if she wasn’t there anymore. She is seven when she finally convinces poor Bart into piercing his daughter’s ear so she can wear the blue orb all the time.

She does find out that her mother actually isn’t dead, just forced to leave her young daughter and husband behind to go back to live with the elves. The thing that clues her in isn’t the strange elven woman running out shouting to spare Arche’s life, nor the odd similarities in their faces. But when being escorted out, remembering seeing a blue round earring, identical to her own, in the elven woman’s own ear.

It turns out that even though Bart may have been lying about Luche’s death, he had at least been telling the truth about the earring. So she never takes it off. It’s her one constant after hundreds of years of living. Brooms may break down and turn to dust, ribbons tatter and fade over time, but the earring never loses it blue luster and Arche plans to keep it that way.

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Suzu is harder to pin down. There’s so little about her that stands out when compared to the other ninja’s in her village. And that’s they way it’s supposed to be. A ninja must be unseen, and blend in with the environment before giving the one fatal strike needed to kill her target and fleeing before anyone knows she was there. The only singular thing that differentiates her from the other people of her village, is the pink ribbon keeping her hair tied back and out of her face.

And even then, most would probably look over it. She’s only a child after all, nothing unusual about the bright color of a ribbon. Except there is. Suzu is a prodigy after all, the heir to the village clan, it will be her that stands up to lead it one day. And so she takes to her duty and training with a seriousness unbecoming of most eleven year old children. So the almost girlish ribbon is an oddity.

And truth be told, it was a gift. From her grandfather in fact, just before Dhaos returned and brainwashed her parents. He had given it to her and praised her for all her work, how proud she is making her parents and all her teachers. But had also reminded her that it’s okay to be a little girl if she needs to, that there’s no shame in any of it.

Suzu thanks her grandfather for the gift and his wise words, and tosses it into her room and forgets about it. Until, that it, her mother and father flee the village with a large portion of the higher trained ninja and kunochi. She knows that it is her responsibility to stop them, they are her parents after all, but before she leaves, ties the pink ribbon into her hair. A small, childish part of her hopes that they will recognize it, recognize her, and come to their senses.

They never do, not until they are on death’s door and they apologize for what they have done her, and to the clan. She keeps the ribbon in anyway. Keeps wearing it until long after she has outgrown it. It’s fine, she decides. The colors nice, its sweet.

And if there’s anything she learned while travelling with Cress and the others, it’s that she likes sweet things.

#pride month prompt challenge #my writing #tales of phantasia #cress albane #chester burklight #mint adenade #claus f lester #arche klein #suzu fujibayashi #4!#i wrote goddamn 4 of these in under 24 hours!#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#done!

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gumnut-logic · 5 years

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Swamped

Title: Swamped

Author: Gumnut

23 Jun 2019

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: So here he was standing in his undershorts on top of his bird in the middle of the ocean for all nearby female aristocrats to see.

Word count: 1782

Spoilers & warnings: SPOILERS FOR 3.15, episode tag, Gordon/Penelope.

Timeline: Sometime before the last scene of the episode.

Author’s note: This is for @thunderstorm-bay for being wonderful. Many thanks to @i-am-chidorixblossom and @scribbles97 for the read throughs. This is really just a single scene that came to mind. Also, I apparently can’t help myself. I hope you enjoy it :D

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

“Virgil?”

He sighed, slammed the wrench down on Two’s hull and grabbed another one. “Yes, Gordon, what do you want now?”

“No need to be snappy there, bro.”

“Gordon, my ‘bird is currently floating in the Pacific with her engines full of water. In what way do you think this would put me in a good mood?”

“You have Penny on board.”

“What?”

“What is she doing right now?”

“Uh, helping Scott clean sand out of the intakes. Why?”

“Oh, just interested.”

Can you be interested silently? But he didn’t say it. A calming breath and he dove back into the hatch. The sun near the equator was expectedly hot, and in a breach of protocol, he had removed his baldric, stashed it nearby for the comm signal, and unzipped the top half of his uniform. He would have loved to throw the whole thing off, but safety concerns, a frowning Scott and, of course, the Penny presence vetoed that.

But man, it would be nice to be cool.

His girl was swamped with water and she wasn’t going to fly until that water was flushed out and all her engines checked and double checked. As it was it was likely they would have to airlift her back to the Island using the heavy-duty pods that had dragged her space-damaged carcass out of the ocean last time. It had taken a week to clean her out.

Thunderbird Two was not a submarine.

“So, she was a good co-pilot?”

“Yes, Gordon.”

“Reckon she might come out of rescues?”

“Why?”

“Maybe she wants to become a more active member of International Rescue?”

“Say that to her face and you are likely to lose yours. In no way is Lady Penelope inactive.”

“Uh, you might have a point.” A sigh. “So, what do you think of Penny?”

“Gordon, I’m not going to gossip about your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“But you wouldn’t mind if she was.”

“Um...”

“Obvious, Gordo, obvious.”

“You have a point.”

“Ask her out and put us out of our misery.”

“Hey, timing, Virg. It isn’t like I can escort her anywhere at the moment.”

“You don’t have to, Gordon, or haven’t you noticed that, she has been on Tracy Island more since you were injured than she has in the past ten years?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Ask her out, Gordon. Use one of the hoverbikes and take her down to your favourite beach for a picnic. I’ll even tie up Alan for you.” He swapped wrenches again. Damn, this vent was being stubborn. He whacked it and narrowly missed his thumb, but the housing shifted and he was finally able to open the access.

“Ugh, crap.”

“What?”

“Mulched sea life in the aft dorsal vent.”

“Mulched?”

“Well, if you went through the forward intake, you’d come out mulched too. Two is not a submersible.”

“You keep saying that, yet you didn’t hesitate to take her under.”

“I had good reason.”

“Yes, an older brother who wouldn’t listen to his resident aquanaut.” Gordon’s voice took on a frustrated tone. “If he had just waited, we wouldn’t have had the problem.”

“Scott was just anxious.”

“Virgil, if I had done that you would be ripping me a new one.”

A swallow. Gordon was right. There was a stern discussion to be had in the future. But the hope regarding their father was like a light at the end of the tunnel and it shone everything else into insignificance.

“We need to focus on Dad right now.”

“I will be as happy as you to find Dad, Virgil, but I don’t want to lose the brothers I have in the process.”

He put the wrench down and it clattered against Two’s hull. Gordon was right. Scott had been in some serious danger of never getting out of that sludge. Alan and Kayo were lucky to be alive. They had almost lost a Thunderbird to the Chaos Crew. And Thunderbird Two...both he and Penny had been at risk.

All for just the chance of more information.

“You have a point.”

“I know I do.”

Perhaps they had been a bit obsessed. But the chance, Dad needing their help, stranded so far away. Could he still be alive? This could be the rescue of their lives. But at what risk? Gordon had been stuck at home watching all of them cheat death on a simple hope.

That capsule still sat snug in the module and had yet to reveal whether it was all worth it.

Virgil bit his lip. “Dad might be still alive.”

“I really hope so. I really do, Virg. Just don’t do anything stupid and keep that eldest brother of ours from killing himself in the process.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will.” A pause. “Just sucks to be me at the moment.”

“Should I leave Penny with you next time?”

“You’d need to tie her to the chair, Virg. As you said, she’s not one to sit and watch.”

“Neither are you.”

Silence from the comms for the first time in a long time. Virgil sighed. “Ask her out, Gords. If she knows what’s good for her, she’ll say yes.”

“Yeah, maybe.” But his brother’s tone said the absolute opposite.

Looks like he would be pulling out some kind of motivational speech for his little brother in the near future. Who thought Gordon would ever need motivation of any kind? The aquanaut was usually a power source for the rest of them.

“Think about it, bro. She’d be the luckiest woman on the planet.”

“Heh.” A pause. “So, what wildlife did you puree? Got enough for identification?” That was an obvious subject change if he’d ever heard one. Okay, if that is how he wanted to play it.

“I’m thinking squid.” He reached in and grabbed a pile of jellied mush in his fortunately gloved hand and held it up so his holoreceiver could grab it. “What do you think? Look like something for dinner?”

“You took out a squid? You keep that killing green behemoth out of my ocean, Virgil.”

“Hey, it’s not like she did it on purpose.”

“Can you bring it closer?” There was a frown in his brother’s voice.

Virgil complied. Pieces of the slush slid down his arm and splashed on his undershirt. “Gross.”

“Uh, Virgil, put it down now.”

“What?”

“That’s not squid. That’s jellyfish.”

The sludge landed with a splat on Two’s hull. It left residue all over his glove and arm and shirt. “Shit!”

“Tell me you didn’t get it on your skin, Virgil. Stinger cells don’t puree.”

“Damnit!”

“Virgil!”

The gloves were tossed, the uniform followed in the most awkward undressing he had ever managed. His boots were stumbled off even more awkwardly. But nothing could hide the sudden tingling on his chest. Goddamnit, so stupid!

“Virgil, talk to me! I’m sending Scott up.”

“I’m okay. Just stupid.”

“TB4’s packs have some sting neutralising spray. I’m notifying Scott.”

His undershirt was flung onto the hull. He was never going to live this down. The tingling was fast becoming painful. A lovely array of welts outlining where the sludge had soaked through his shirt was appearing on his chest. “Unbelievable!”

“Virgil?” Scott appeared up through the forward hatch. “What the hell?”

“It was an accident.”

Of course, Penelope just had to follow his brother. So here he was standing in his undershorts on top of his bird in the middle of the ocean for all nearby female aristocrats to see.

Neither his brother or their London agent appeared to care in the slightest as they clambered across Two’s hull to reach him. “What happened? Gordon said you came in contact with a jellyfish?” Scott dumped a medkit on the hull and, opening it, pulled out a bottle of the sting spray. “Do we know what kind?”

Virgil grit his teeth. Yes, it was definitely hurting now. “Scan the slush. Just don’t touch it.”

“Send the readings to me and I’ll do the identification.” Gordon voice had lost any and all joviality.

Penny fished the scanner from Scott’s kit and did as the aquanaut asked.

“Virg?” Scott approached him with care. “Where and how bad?”

“Chest and bad enough.”

The spray was heaven on earth. Scott drenched him liberally in the chemical foam. “Anywhere else?”

“No, that little bit was enough.” Virgil let a breath out.

“Any sign of additional symptoms? C’mon, sit down, just in case.”

With a frustrated sigh, Virgil parked himself crosslegged on Two’s warm hull a decent distance from the slush scattered around the vent hatch. He glared at it. “Revenge from beyond the grave.”

“Got it.” Gordon’s voice held relief even before he spouted the needed information. “You’ve been Cannonballed, Virg.”

“What?”

“Cannonball Jellyfish. Stomolophus meleagris. You must have hit a swarm because that pile of slush makes up more than one. And don’t worry, not deadly. Usually a mild sting, but can get nasty in your eyes. I suspect that you’re really feeling it, because you’re playing with the pureed version.”

“Great.” Well, at least he wasn’t dying.

“Source says a few hours of ouch and the next day lots of itch.”

“Fantastic.” Just to make dragging his girl out of the ocean that little bit more entertaining. A put-upon sigh.

“Sit for a minute while I pump some seawater up here and wash off the living dead jellyfish.” Scott wasn’t smiling, but since it was clear now that Virgil wasn’t going to keel over on him, he could relax just a little.

“Fine.”

Penny looked up and smiled at him. It was a kind smile, despite his predicament.

He let his shoulders drop. At least the sun was warm and the breeze gentle as they danced across his shoulder blades. In a minute he would wash the mess off his chest, apply some anaesthetic cream, don a clean uniform and get back to work. But for the moment he was content to sit and watch Scott scrub down his ‘bird.

“Gordon?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll leave the water rescues to you from now on.”

His little brother laughed over the comms. “Aww, Virg, but you did so well.”

“Hmph.” A smirk. “Penny says hi.” The blonde woman looked up at him in question.

“Virgil!”

“Yes, little bro?”

“Watch it.”

“Well, she’s now seen me in my underwear and she makes a great co-pilot...”

“As if she’d look at you twice.”

“Oh, I don’t know. She’s looking at me quite bit at the moment.” He grinned at her.

“No flexing your pecs, you hulk.”

If was Virgil’s turn to laugh. “You are aware I have you on speaker, aren’t you?”

“Shit!”

Penny’s laugh was as delicate as she.

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #virgil tracy #gordon tracy #thunderbirds fanfiction #penelope creighton-ward #gordon/penelope #scott tracy #tagspoilers #tag spoilers #episode tag

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kinetic-elaboration · 5 years

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July 20: Thoughts on The 100 2x04, Many Happy Returns

It’s literally been five months since I did one of these…

The wasteland was a pretty cool concept and I’m sad that they kinda pulled back on it later. Like, when characters can get from point A below the wasteland to point B above it without apparently passing through it at all, it makes it seem like the area is actually not that big after all. Is it, like, just NYC? And maybe the metro area? Also, again, as usual, floored by the costuming on this show. Amazing.

So Zoran is the first human Jaha meets on Earth. A kid and a mutated human.

Clarke is so intensely pragmatic. She legit doesn’t care if people once tried to kill her, as long as they aren’t trying to kill her now. I don’t really see this as forgiveness, but rather an ability to forget the past that isn’t useful to her. Also lol @Anya for saying Clarke is weak, like who broke who out of the Mountain hmmm?

“Everything is Grounder territory.” Murphy telling the truth. And even if some parts of the world aren’t Grounder territory, how the hell would Bellamy know?

Murphy, canonically a terrible runner. Rewatching these early eps just reinforces his glow up since then. (Not in terms of running, but in terms of, like, haircut.)

The wreckage of the Factory crash is so devastating, following the trail of bodies to the crash site. I still wish we’d found out what happened to everyone else. I guess we’re supposed to assume the rest of the stations exploded before impact? But still. I feel some bitterness.

This saving Mel story is entirely, 100% about keeping Bellamy, Finn, and Murphy stuck for most of an episode, allowing Octavia to find them, and then forcing Bellamy to come back to Camp Jaha rather than continue searching for Clarke—so he can, you know, run into Clarke. It’s pure filler. And imo not even very interesting filler since I’m not really like a rescue/adventure story person. I can’t even figure out how Mel ended up stranded along the side of the cliff. Was she climbing up and then got tired? Also, on a related note, at what point do they, Bellamy in particular, realize which station this is? Is it immediately obvious from the wreckage, or only from the identity of the survivor? Because this is Bellamy’s home.

All that time they were talking, Sterling was there in the background, doing whatever. Honestly though shame on Bellamy a little for letting Finn convince him not to save Mel.

Totally forgot they built an electric fence at Camp Jaha. Then, began work on a radio beacon.

I can’t even pay attention to the Clarke and Anya scenes because I’m too attracted to both of them. Less so in the mud. Which is 100% gratuitous given that uh, I don’t think the Mountain Men who almost never go outdoors and are currently wearing big ass gas masks on their faces can smell shit.

Bellamy and his adventure squad are such dumbasses. Huh, let’s tie this thin rope with a single knot around a stump and then just watch our friend use it to scale the side of a mountain. Nothing can go wrong there. I mean there are fucking four of them just standing around watching when they could be, uh, securing the rope? Anyway RIP Sterling, cause of death: idiocy. (Slash the narrative’s need to put Bellamy in the hero role at this point, and to up the ante on his heroism, and to waste some time.)

To be more fair, I think this is semi-important for Bellamy’s characterization, an early version of ‘save who we can save today.’ He’s at a sort of crossroads at this point, not really a leader anymore like in S1, but sort of a leader, and he needs to figure out what sort of leader he’ll be.

Monroe’s “Sterling was one of us” warms my heart because it speaks to my “the 100 were a distinct social group” theory, which I wish (again lol) had been more important to the show and for longer.

Murphy does fall in, though, pretty fast. After Monroe says the ‘one of us’ thing. Which is actually pretty impressive given that a few days ago he was blasting a hole in the dropship and running away with all their ammunition.

This must be such a trip for Jaha, like, he is aware that forest exists still, because of transmissions from the 100, but he’s in the middle of the fucking desert, and this is all he knows of Earth, whatsoever. Also, again, these sets are perfect, I love them so much.

How did the City of Light become a legend among the Grounders? It’s made from the Alie 1 chips…. Didn’t Becca, like, not like those? I’m assuming of course that literally any of this was ever thought out or ever made sense.

“I have no room for hate.” You know what I’m just gonna say it: I think this is true. This is really how Jaha lives the rest of his life. I think people forget since he wasn’t really himself for most of S3, and even in S2 his mission to the City of Light seemed kind of nutty (and boring). But “I have no room for hate” both describes him pretty well, and is rather a lovely thing about him. If only he hadn’t been so obsessed with the COL, tbh. Searching for it was a bad idea from the very beginning and it was also, I think, a rather cowardly idea.

I forgot that this was where the concept of radiation disfigurement came in and was explained. Is that really how it works? Like random mutations, even generations after the event, from non-mutated parents? Lol I have no idea. That said, Sienna kind of looks like she has some scarring on her face, too.

Here is Jaha finding someone who left her people for her son, whereas he sacrificed his son for his people. Does this also change his mind on things going forward? Connect to his insistence on the COL, at the expense of a chunk of his people?

I miss this thing where characters knew other characters even though we’d never seen them interact before, because, like, a history exists and then the show acknowledges it. That was fun.

I shipped Raven/Wick and I don’t regret it, even though fandom’s toxicity basically killed it for me in a lot of ways. They had a good rapport. More importantly, he might literally be the only man to not take shit from Raven and to actually be brave enough to challenge her.

Engineering is such a damn good set.

This is a weird episode because our two mains have pretty much the least important, or at least least-interesting, story lines. They’re basically just being moved into position to reunite at the end of the ep, and that’s it.

Clarke: “I just need something sharp and sterile [to remove the tracker from your arm].” Anya: bites it out with her teeth.

Why do they bother putting trackers on the Grounders? Do they escape often?

Murphy’s not only helping with the rescue mission, he’s at the head of the line.

Bellamy’s legs appreciation.

Murphy: “Don’t you worry, Bellamy, I won’t drop you.” I mean…you did once try to hang him. But by-gones I guess. I do believe at heart Murphy just wants to be part of the crew.

I think the Raven and Wick scenes are my favorites of this episode. I have two uninjured legs and I wouldn’t climb that thing; Raven is a brave bitch. And when she has to give up and come down, probably the saddest moment of the ep, along with finding Factory station. Some of this is relevant to my big bang.

After literally all this, Finn’s still like ‘Bellamy, just drop that rando’ lol. No, bitch, don’t do this half-assed. Stop being a wimp and pull them both up.

Before it’s revealed that the horn is Octavia, this really does look like Bellamy and the No Good Very Bad Day lol: first Factory is found destroyed, then Sterling dies, then you almost die when your fake rope breaks, then someone starts shooting arrows at you, then acid fog rolls in, like, what now universe??

I guess another purpose of this story line, being fair again, is that Murphy and Bellamy are now officially friends again. Like Murphy has proven himself completely trustworthy as of that little nod between them.

“She blew the horn” is s obviously ADR to explain what exactly is happening here. Which is helpful, even though she’s clearly carrying the horn.

Blake sibling reunion!

“Three mechanics made it to the ground.” I mean… you’d think it would be more than that… what with the entirety of Mecha making it. Or was that station mostly casualties? I don’t know, this still doesn’t make sense to me, how they split up people between stations. Season 2 implied it was random, Season 3 implied it was by home station.

“Your leg’s messed up and that blows. Figure out a way to work around it.” Legit question: is there anyone else who would have said that to her?

I really, truly miss Wick tbh. One of the few characters with a sense of humor. (And yet again: he was good for Raven.)

They’re really playing fast and loose with the rules about language in this verse huh? Warriors speak English, no everyone speaks English, no English is for friends only I guess?

Jaha just wants to be a dad. Like, do I think he was a good parent… I dunno. Is he a better parent than anyone else on this show? At this point I would have to say yes. (No, Clarke does not count as a “parent” jfc.)

Ruthless Clarke ftw.

Jaha making a chess board just breaks my heart. Just let him be a dad!!

It’s been such a freaking long time since I watched this, I can’t remember if Octavia had braids in the last ep or not, like how long she’s had them. And it’s really bugging me, because someone else must have put them in, and I’m trying to figure out who that might be.

Also, where did she get the horn? I guess the implication is it was Lincoln’s… I can’t really remember. Wouldn’t it still have been on his person when he was captured?

Octavia went off the rails but at this point I’m still very fond of her.

The map Finn gives Bellamy lists ‘statue’ (Lincoln Memorial?), ‘twin trees’ (???), ‘Ark’ (Alpha Station??), and ‘amusement park’ AND amusement park is very close to Ark so my question is why didn’t they use that amusement park for something interesting??

Bellamy knows he shouldn’t let Finn go off alone but then, what can he do? Finn never really adhered to his authority. And I don’t think he feels like he can flex that right now, like it’s sufficiently established in this new order.

But he does arm Murphy. Which says a lot about how much he has decided to trust him, but also how little he trusts Finn. I forgot about this split in the character groups, though I should have remembered it, since of course this leads directly to the massacre.

“Parting, such sweet sorrow, right?” is an interesting quote from a kid who can’t spell ‘die.’

Aw, Clarke goes back to the dropship. I forgot about that. But then of course she doesn’t realize… anything. She doesn’t know the Ark is down, she doesn’t know what happened to the few of her friends who were on the outside. And her face when she sees the message to her, and only her name is still visible…

Blah blah blah fight sequence.

Creepy skeleton parts on the ground.

I think this could have been the start of an Anya/Clarke friendship of some sort: Clarke earns her respect by fighting well, Clarke’s people protect Anya, the alliance forms… too bad they had to kill her.

And Clarke figures out where Alpha is based on Raven and Wick’s balloon.

“We fell from Earth in a football stadium. I think they already know we’re here.”

BUT the balloon is also what sets off Byrne, and gets her so worried about Grounders she authorizes the ‘shoot on sight’ command that kills Anya and almost Clarke. On the one hand, this is a nicely wrought story line. On the other hand, they shouldn’t have killed Anya, so. A wash.

Was Byrne’s worry about the balloon warranted though? I can’t decide.

Zoran, such a kind soul.

How can there possibly be a bounty on Sky People (side note: Jaha’s reaction to that name like ‘huh well I guess that is what we are’) that people all the way out in the dead zone would know about? Like… they’ve been on Earth for like a month. And the war has only been going on for part of that time, arguably. If it even is a war.

Trent Lane voice: Betrayal, yeah, stab in the back, betrayal…

Too bad “To survive, we do what we must” didn’t end up in like the fandom lexicon. It’s a pretty good variant on the theme. Plus Jaha’s just so… like he’s been fucked over but he can’t even be mad, because he gets that she’s doing it for her son and he wishes he had that chance. Watching his scenes again, I really feel like he was underrated and I miss him a lot.

I wonder what happened to Zoran and family. Were they absorbed into the hive? More generally, what happened to people seeking the CoL before ALIE could get it properly running with Jaha’s help? Did they all just… die in the desert?

Alpha Station at night is so beautiful.

And Clarke is so happy.

And this is SUCH A SETUP FOR CLARKE AND ANYA TO BE FRIENDS OMG, Anya should have brokered peace with Lexa, there was such an obvious role for her… Her death was 100% random attempt at shock, this show’s #1 worst quality, which is saying a lot.

I mean shot in the back while she’s walking away these Sky Guards are incompetent.

RIP Anya.

I really thought the Bellarke reunion was in this ep for some reason. But then I also knew Anya died right at the end—for more Shock Value ofc—so I don’t even know. I remember the scenes but nothing of their order I guess.

#the year 2019 #2019: the 100 s2 #the 100 #the 100 rewatch #2019: fandom thoughts

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just--another--daydreamer · 6 years

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Far too young to die

40s Bucky Barnes x 40s Male reader

Fandom: Marvel (Captain America) Word count: 1528 Rating: Angst and Fluff Warnings: Mentions of death and war, angst, slight smut? Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male reader Y/N= Your Name A/N: This is the second part of a small series of three parts. Hope you enjoy it and you should check out the other parts! This is set in the 40′s, before the war and Captain America happened. This is based on the song Far too young to die by Panic! At the disco

Part I: Casual Affair

Part II: Far too young to die

Part III: The End of all Things

Masterlist

Requests and Ships are open

The rain fell heavy from the sky as Y/N watched the dark grey clouds. The wind pulled the branches of the trees and moved them fiercely. Y/N sighed and looked down to the framed picture in his hands. It showed him and Bucky. Both weren’t looking at the camera, because they were smiling at each other with glowing eyes. Their shoulders touched hardly, but this touch was something special to Y/N. He remembered the feelings he had when this picture was taken: He had been in love. And he still was. Y/N tried to recall the memories of this day. It hadn’t been a day like this: No rain and the sun had been shining all day long. Bucky had taken Y/N to a funfair. It had been their first date, even though they didn’t dare to call it a date back then, but Bucky and Y/N had been together ever since.

Y/N pressed the picture to his chest when he felt his heart hurt. He started sobbing quietly.

It was always him. Y/N was always the one who cried, but usually Bucky would come to him and hug him and tell his lover that he’d be okay. But not this time. Bucky had his last day home before he was going to war. He wanted to spend it with his best friend Steve Rogers at the Stark Expo and he had left Y/N without saying goodbye. Maybe that was Bucky’s way of saying goodbye, because he didn’t know how to. Or he broke up with Y/N. He didn’t know, and he didn’t like not knowing. Y/N felt lonely and hopeless, his mind was racing, and he felt his heartbeat speeding up as he sank to the floor and cried, still hugging the picture as if his life was depending on it. He loved Bucky with all his heart.

A silent knock at the front door pulled Y/N out of his thoughts. He stood up, threw the picture on his bed and wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. After he opened the door, he had to blink a few times before he recognized the person in front of him. “Bucky,” he whispered. The man nodded and smiled. The uniform he was wearing was wet from the rain and he looked like he was cold. Y/N couldn’t do anything else than stare at Bucky’s eyes and shake his head slightly. How did he even dare to doubt that Bucky would come to say goodbye? “Can I come in?” Bucky asked, and Y/N nodded.

After he had closed the door behind Bucky, the man cupped Y/N’s face with his hands and stroked his cheeks with his thumbs. His hands were warm, he must have kept them inside his pockets on his way to Y/N’s home. “Why did you cry? Was it because of me?” Y/N nodded. Bucky always knew what was bothering his lover. “I never really thought that you'd come tonight,” Y/N admitted shyly, but Bucky nodded understandingly. “I know. I wanted to say goodbye.” Y/N’s heart dropped, and he stepped away from Bucky, who let go off his cheeks. “Y/N,” Bucky said in a reproachful tone, but his lover didn’t listen. He started running around the room in anger and confusion. “I don’t want you to go, Buck!” “I know, but- “

“You cannot do this to me! I love you!” Y/N shouted, and Bucky noticed the tears that were falling again. Bucky walked over to him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Y/N didn’t protest, and Bucky started to gently stroke his hair to calm him down, which didn’t work so he said in a soothing tone, “I love you too, Y/N.”

Bucky’s words made everything worse. Y/N started crying hard. His tears wet Bucky’s jacket again. He was shaking and sobbing in his boyfriend’s arms, who wasn’t sure what to do, so he picked Y/N up and carried him to his bed. After he laid him down on the mattress, Bucky noticed a framed picture lying on the pillow next to Y/N’s head. He took it and looked at it, running his fingertips over the cold glass. The slightly younger version of himself looked at a slightly younger version of Y/N. He still looked at Y/N the same way he did back then, even in hard times like this. While the Bucky on the picture was smiling, his reflection in the glass looked sad. He tried to fake a smile and put the photograph on a small cabinet next to the bed.

After that, Bucky took off his jacket. He felt Y/N’s eyes on him and gave him a quick look before taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Once he had put his clothes on a chair, he lied down next to Y/N. Bucky pulled Y/N closer and took his hand.

“I know that you don’t want me to leave,” he said soothingly. “But I have to. I’ll come back to you. I promise.” Y/N put his head on Bucky’s naked chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was calming him down a little. “You can’t know if you’ll ever come back,” he said quietly, and he could feel Bucky’s muscles tense up under his bare skin. “Don’t say that. I will come back, Y/N.” But Y/N shook his head.

“War isn’t a game, Buck. The battlefield isn’t a funfair. People die there.” Bucky fell silent. He seemed lost in his thoughts and Y/N didn’t want to interrupt his thinking. Bucky started running his fingers over his lover’s back. He drew lines and shapes and let Y/N lean into his touch. He remembered the nights that they had spent outside, beneath the stars. Joking around or kissing. Holding hand or cuddling.

Both were lost in their thoughts for a while, until Y/N broke the silence. “You are going to leave me in the darkness. In the cold. I won’t know what’s going on in the war, I’ll just stay here, left in the darkness, until I bring light into it by reading the newspaper and listening to the men who returned from war. They’re going to tell their stories and I’ll hope to hear your name. But I’ll also be afraid of it. Maybe they’ll tell me that you’re dead or got imprisoned. Or that you are badly hurt. But when I don’t read the newspaper and don’t listen to those men, because I’m too afraid, I’ll be left in the darkness forever. There’s no chance to hear from you and I’ll wait here, and I’ll get old and I’ll die. But you left me in the darkness. And I’ll never know.”

Bucky stayed silent and for a moment, Y/N thought that he might have fallen asleep, but then he started caressing his hair again. Y/N could hear that Bucky’s breath became erratic and raised his head. Tears were silently rolling down his boyfriend’s face.

“I don’t want to die, Y/N,” Bucky sobbed. Y/N, who thought that he had already cried all his tears out, started again as well. “I need you, Y/N. I don’t want to leave.” Y/N nodded. He started kissing Bucky’s cheeks, his lips, his neck and his chest. His hands were on Bucky’s cheeks, he tried to wipe his tears away, but they kept falling, no matter how hard he tried.

“I know.” He sank into Bucky’s arms again and felt his breath against his wet cheek. Y/N felt Bucky’s strong arms wrapped around him, keeping him safe.

“Let’s get married,” Bucky said suddenly in between sobs. “What?” “I want to marry you, Y/N. Right here, right now. Your name is now Barnes. Y/N Barnes. So that you’ll always have something of me with you, even though it’s only a picture and a name,” Bucky whispered. “Okay.” Y/N chuckled. “I’m serious,” his lover said. “I, James Buchanan Barnes, take you, Y/N, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Y/N sighed but smiled brightly. His heart hurt a little less.

“I, Y/N, take you, Bucky, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until- “ He stopped. Death do us apart. He couldn’t say it and swallowed. Bucky noticed that Y/N was uncomfortable saying those words and smiled weakly.

“You may now kiss,” Bucky whispered and placed his lips on Y/N’s. Y/N returned the kiss and closed his eyes. He tried to memorize every moment of this to have something to hold onto, until Bucky would return. They kissed again and again, lips moving against each other silently. Bucky’s half naked body was pressed against Y/N’s fully clothed one, that was how they fell asleep.

When Y/N woke up, Bucky’s half of the bed was cold. He raised his head and found the framed picture lying next to his head with a small handwritten note laying on top of it.

See you soon, Y/N Barnes. I love you.

Bucky never returned from the war.

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