#and i was in there for so long my mom came to check on me but when i left i felt so much better

[starfxkr]

western nights (pt. 1)

pairing: older!trailer park!jj x reader

summary: jj maybank knows he's too old to be messing around with a young girl like you, but he does it anyways

warnings: age gap, smut (fingering), that's p much it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

jj was known for bein a sleaze around the trailer park. a two time felon who's doing his best to lay low by taking odd jobs around the complex so the feds don't come knocking at his door. you could catch him doing anything from mowing lawns to helping out the grandmas who's sons long stopped coming to check on them. girls came and went out of his trailer at all times of the day--clothes askew and hair messy.

but once he set his eyes on you, everyone else went out the window. he'd known of you of course, having grown up in the complex you're whole life but you were nothing more than one of many little shits running around in a little conglomerate of cheese puff fingers and sugar highs. he paid you no mind, maybe you were one of the kids he's bought crappy water pistols for, maybe not. one summer though, one summer he's on your lawn fixing your car because your mom asked, and there you were-- sitting pretty on your lawn chair reading some trashy book in what he thinks is the smallest dress he's ever seen.

the two of you lock eyes and from then on he's always finding a reason to sniff around you.

each time you pass by jj's place he lets out a whistle, sayin "wish the girls looked as good as you when i was that age." and you just roll your eyes and keep walking. he always finding something to fix around your house and your mom becomes more and more enamored with him not noticing he only has eyes for you.

it all comes to a head during a birthday party--your mom's to be exact. the whole little block is drinking, kids running around, barbecue in the air but you're sitting across from him in his too hot trailer trying to wrangle a beer out of him.

"you even old enough to drink yet? you still got one baby fat on ya." he pinches your cheek and you smack him away with a scoff, leaning over with your hands on either sides of his hips on the couch

"does it matter? you're gonna give it to me anyways." the little pout on you face makes his dick twitch in his jeans, and he makes no effort to hide his growing erection.

"nuh uh little girl, gonna need to see some i.d." you squeak when he pats your ass to 'search' for your wallet, fingers dancing at the hem of your denim skirt and sliding up you shirt to cup your breast, "feels like you're old enough to me."

your eyes flutter shut when he swipes a calloused thumb across your nipple, a tiny hmph of pleasure works it's way past your lips when he pinches the soft flesh.

the beer is quickly forgotten when he lifts your shirt off, wasting no time in getting his mouth on you--licking the sweat from the valley of your breasts and sucking on your neck as you move to sit on his lap.

"should we even be doin this? y'know my mama's realll sweet on you." you pull away from him but make no move to leave.

jj just scoffs and waves it away, running a hand through his blonde hair in irritation, "lots of women are, nothin new, been this way as long as i can remember but it never mattered to me much."

you can tell he wants this conversation to be over, his eyes raking over your body and his fingers tugging at the button to your skirt even as you cross your arms in front of you, "if she finds out we're fucked."

he shrugs, "then don't let her find out."

that's all you need to continue, letting him capture your lips with his, his rough hands travel over your soft skin, stoking the fire building steadily inside of you. despite your veneer of coolness, he can feel your pulse throbbing in your neck under his palm.

"you scared of me or somethin?" his voice is raspy when he whispers against your jaw.

you whimper in reply, "n-no?" even you notice you don't sound too sure--maybe there's a little fear despite your flirting. you wanted to be good for him, you wanted him to like you.

he looks like he doesnt believe you, but he lets it go.

"then get over here." jj yanks you back towards him until your face was tucked into his neck. he doesn't even bother taking your skirt off, just hikes it up and tugs your panties down with a smack on your ass until they're sitting right below the swell of the soft flesh.

the moan that leaves your lips when his fingers graze your clit is almost pornographic, you hadn't even realized how wet you were until you heard the slick sound of his fingers plunging into you with ease. he was obviously skillful, he found that sweet spot inside you with no problem, rubbing it in time with the thumb on your clit while you squeaked and squirmed against him, completely overwhelmed by pleasure.

you were slick and dripping down his palm, doing your best to squirm away from the assault on your pussy but he wouldn't let you, chasing after your thrashing hips and letting out a soft grunt when you sink your teeth into his neck. the way he used his fingers should be a crime--scissoring them open and slowly dragging the pads down your front wall just to hear you mewl like a kitten at the feeling. the thumb on your clit still rubbing in quick, confident circles and he could tell by the way it swelled and throbbed that you were close.

"bet those little boys never made you feel like this huh?" he laughs at you whining response, the answer is extremely apparent by the sound of your growing wetness--your high pitched keen drowned out by the sloshing of your pussy, "there you go sugar, just let it all out."

you choke out a moan and drench him, pussy locking tight around his knuckles as you pulsed, squirting your release all over his lap. there was no way he had you feeling like that just from fingering but here you were, pulse rushing in your ears as he got your clothes back right, sitting you on the couch with a kiss on the forehead as he left to go change seeing as though you soaked his jeans.

when he comes back he lets out a chuckle at the sight of you still sitting there dazed and he finally gives you that beer, "get yourself together aight?" i'll see you back out there.

it takes you almost 20 minutes to finish the beer, still trembling and pussy aching with the need to be filled. you finally step outside, eyes hazy and brain turned to mush when you notice you don't have your panties on.

#✨.txt #jj maybank prompt #trailer park!jj

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [18] - Boundaries

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Family dinner can get tense.

Word Count: 2500

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

“Charm, how long are you going to keep this silent treatment going?” Bucky’s voice reached you and you kept your focus on Alpine, holding the toy as she smacked it with her paw. “I mean you were the one who went and met up with your ex—”

“A friendly lunch!” you said, lifting your gaze from Alpine to see him leaning against the door of his changing room, his arms crossed. Your heart skipped a beat but you pursed your lips, painfully aware of the petulant expression on your face.

“Does he know it was friendly?”

“What do you want me to do Bucky, make him sign a paper to acknowledge it?” you asked back and he rolled his eyes.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said. “Why did you two break up?”

You frowned. “What?”

“I mean I know how good you are at holding grudges, so being friends with an ex doesn’t sound like you, to be honest.”

You shrugged your shoulders.

“Maybe he didn’t give me any reason to hold a grudge,” you said. “No wonder you wouldn’t get it.”

He gawked at you before running a hand over his face.

“I apologized like one thousand times—”

“You sent me a text couple of months later that said ‘you’re not still angry, are you’?” you corrected him. “Do you even know what an apology means?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh you do know,” you said. “I stand corrected.”

“No I mean, I’m sorry for that night.”

“Not accepted,” you deadpanned, scratching at Alpine’s head as she got bored of the feather and plopped down on the soft sheets. Bucky took a deep breath.

“Why did you break up?”

You lifted your head to roll your eyes at him. “Why is it important?”

“It’s important to me,” he said as he walked back into his dressing room, then came back with a pair of cufflinks. “Especially if he broke your heart.”

The idea of Bucky being angry at someone for breaking your heart was so absurd when he was the one who tore your heart out in the first place, but you chose not to comment on it.

“We just weren’t a good fit,” you said. “We were both idiots, to be honest.”

“You had him checked though?” Bucky asked, still busy with putting his cufflinks on and you shot him a glare.

“No Bucky, that was my first rodeo,” you deadpanned. “I just date civilians without making sure they can be trusted.”

 “And now?”

“I had him checked when he moved into the city and first made contact with me,” you said. “He still can be trusted.”

“That’s where we disagree, Charm.”

“Have you trusted anyone in your life, Bucky?” you asked, exasperated. “Except Steve and Sam, that is.”

Bucky shrugged his shoulders.

“I trust you,” he pointed out, making your heart skip a beat and you stared at him for a couple of seconds, then forced out a scoff.

“Yet here you are, questioning me about that lunch and him in general?”

“That has more to do with him than you, you know that,” he replied and you leaned back on the pillows, Alpine jumping to curl up in your lap.

“Either way,” you muttered and stole a look at him as he got into his jacket. “We have dinner at 8 tonight with your mom and dad, don’t forget.”

Bucky threw his head back with a groan. “I still think we should skip that.”

“It’s the second time Winnifred asked,” you reminded him. “We’re going.”

“Fun,” he grumbled as he came closer to scratch at Alpine’s head, then pressed a kiss on top of your hair, making you bite back a smile. “I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Mm hm, try not to kill anyone until then.”

“I’ll try,” he said and walked out of the bedroom, making you heave a sigh as you looked down at Alpine who was purring.

“Dinner with George and Winnifred,” you muttered. “Yeah. Should be fun.”

                                                  *

It wasn’t that having dinner with George and Winnifred was something new for you. You had spent your entire childhood with Becca, not to mention your families had been close since you two were little, so tonight was supposed to be just relaxing.

In theory, that was.

Yet, a mere minute after stepping a foot into the house you realized that would not be the case. Bucky had texted you saying he would be a couple minutes late, and while the food was about to be ready, George was still in his office.

“You know how they get with business,” Winnifred told you as you sat next to Becca on the couch. “I’ll just check the kitchen, excuse me.”

“No problem,” you said as she walked away and you turned to Becca. “Do you know what’s happening?”

“Apparently my father and your father had a very long phone call,” Becca said without lifting her gaze from her phone, texting who you could only assume was Leila. “I have no idea why Bucky is late, but I know for a fact that daddy won’t like that.”

You bit inside your cheek, crossing your arms.

“Great,” you muttered. “I’m guessing Ian keeps dripping poison in my dad’s ear and now George is getting affected as well.”

Becca let out a small laugh.

“It’s not like daddy can do anything,” she murmured. “Bucky took over already.”

“No but he can make things quite difficult.”

“Bucky is used to that,” Becca said and you turned sideways to look at her better.

“So you didn’t bring Leila?” you asked as if trying to tease her and she scoffed.

“Are you kidding?” she asked. “I don’t want them to scare her off.”

“Give her some credit, will you?” you asked. “That car chase didn’t exactly scare her off.”

“If it came down to choosing between a car chase and my parents, I’d say the car chase is much safer,” she told you, making you bite down a grin.

“I get what you mean,” you said as Winnifred walked back into the living room again.

“The food is ready,” she said. “Come on, to the dining room.”

Becca threw her arm over your shoulder as you both followed her to the dining room and you were just about to take your seats when George walked into the room as well.

“Aw my dearest girls,” he said, first kissing Becca’s cheek and then yours. “I missed you two!”

“Hi George.”

“Hi daddy!” Becca gave him a bright smile and Winnifred motioned at the table.

“Sit down, sit down!” she said. “The chef spent the whole day working on this, I hope you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will, I’m starving,” you said as you sat down and George looked around the room.

“And where’s Bucky?”

“He’s going to be a couple of minutes late,” you said. “He texted me just now.”

George stole a look at Winnifred, then shook his head.

“That boy needs to work on his time management skills,” he said, making you pull your brows together and Winnifred waved a hand in the air.

“He’s just busy with work,” she said. “It’s understandable.”

You shot them a smile.

“He’s just giving me the time to talk about him without him present,” you joked, making George chuckle.

“And how is married life, Y/N?”

“It’s wonderful,” you said airily. “I have nothing to complain, really. Which, you know how unlike me that sounds.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Winnifred said. “You and Bucky…You two were explosive around each other until very recently.”

“Thin line between love and hate,” Becca said with a grin before sipping her drink and Winnifred shook her head.

“Bucky never hated you Y/N, you know that.”

You made yourself busy with your food and took your fork to your mouth, nodding.

“I know,” you said after swallowing your bite. “We just had um…history, in a way.”

“And isn’t it wonderful how it worked out?” George said. “As I’ve told Bucky before—”

“Hi everyone,” Bucky’s voice cut him off as he walked into the room and came straight to kiss you on top of your head before taking his seat beside you. “Sorry I’m late, something came up.”

George heaved a sigh of displeasure as if he was trying to contain himself, and Bucky raised his brows at him but Winnifred cleared her throat.

“Oh not a problem sweetheart, we’ve just started.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said as a maid filled his glass and turned to Becca. “You didn’t bring Leila?”

“I asked the same thing,” you said with a small grin and Becca made a face.

“No thank you,” she said. “I’d rather it if you guys didn’t scare her off.”

“Well—”

“Perhaps it’s better that Becca is taking her time,” Winnifred said. “To make sure she can be trusted. She is a civilian after all.”

Bucky tried to hide his smirk as he sipped his drink.

“You haven’t even met the girl yet mom,” he reminded her. “It’s a bit early for you to not approve.”

“It’s not that I don’t approve!” Winnifred said. “It’s just…perhaps it’d be better if Becca were dating someone in business, that’s all I’m saying.”

You tried not to roll your eyes but Becca shot her a look, then turned to Bucky.

“See? Exactly why my girlfriend is not here.”

“Nah, I agree that it was the best idea for this time,” George said. “Considering tonight’s topic at least. Bucky, we need to talk.”

Bucky frowned slightly and you sat up straighter, your stomach doing an unpleasant flip.

“About what?” Bucky asked and George licked his lips.

“What is this I hear about you letting Y/N get involved in the business?” he asked. “Arthur called me, he’s worried out of his mind.”

“Nobody is ‘letting’ me do anything,” you said, trying your hardest to control the defensive tone in your voice. “If my father talked to you, you can just tell me, George.”

Bucky vibranium hand covered yours on the table and you felt a fluttering in your stomach before you turned your attention to George who shook his head.

“Y/N honey, I get that you want to be a part of it,” he said with the same condescending tone your father tended to adapt whenever he talked about you becoming a part of the business and Bucky’s jaw clenched as you narrowed your eyes. “But it’s not the best idea. Bucky agrees, I’m sure.”

“I don’t,” Bucky pointed out without missing a beat. “And watch your tone while you’re talking to my wife.”

The warmth spread over your cheeks. “It’s fine, Buck.”

“No it’s not.”

 Winnifred cleared her throat. “Perhaps we could talk about it later on.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to work,” Becca muttered, leaning back to sip her drink and George put his fork down.

“Bucky,” he said like a warning. “It’s wonderful that you two are happy and in love, don’t get me wrong. But when it comes to my business—”

“I think you mean my business,” Bucky deadpanned and a silence fell upon the table, nervousness filling your system. You rolled your shoulders back, trying to decide whether you should step in or not, but George beat you to it.

“I didn’t put you to the top just so that you can ruin the business, Bucky.”

Your eyes widened as your jaw dropped and Bucky let out a furious breath.

“You didn’t put me anywhere,” he said, his voice almost a growl. “I proved myself over and over.”

“Why don’t we all—”

“And where would you be without me?” George asked him and a furious breath left your lips.

“Alright, this is enough,” you said with a click of your tongue and stood up. “We’re leaving. Come on Buck.”

“Y/N—” Winnifred started as Bucky stood up, still holding your hand.

“See you later,” he told Becca and his mom, and you both walked out of the dining room and made your way through the foyer to step out of the house. He followed you to the car and you told the driver to drive you back to your place, then got in with Bucky.

Bucky didn’t speak a word all the way until you two got home, clearly lost in his own mind and you didn’t want to push him before he was ready. You picked up Alpine who rushed to greet you, then kissed her and put her down again. Bucky ran a hand over his face and flung himself on the couch in silence, biting inside his cheek while you filled two glasses of whiskey. You handed one to him and he took it, trying to offer you a small smile.

“Sorry about that,” he rasped out and you made a face.

“Your dad is an asshole, it has nothing to do with you,” you said. “It’s my therapist’s favorite topic to be honest with you, I could write a book about it.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Yeah well…”

“Speaking of, we’re going to the couple’s therapy,” you told him, making his head snap up.

“What?” he asked. “Why?”

“So that we can make sure this type of situation isn’t going to happen when you marry your second wife and have heirs,” you told him and he heaved a sigh.

“Y/N…” he muttered and rubbed at his eyes again. “Fuck, my head is killing me.”

You pursed your lips, then kicked at his shoe slightly before walking to the window.

“Can you come here?” you asked and he shot you a look, but did as you asked.

“What are we doing?” he asked and you turned to him.

“Tell me what you see.”

He fixed his gaze on the skyline and shrugged his shoulders.

“The city,” he said and you shook your head.

“No,” you said. “What you’re seeing is the part of the city under your rule. Not George’s, not anyone else’s. Yours.”

He huffed out a tense chuckle. “Mm hm, the part he gave to me.”

“The part you took rightfully,” you corrected him. “No one would let you have it if they thought you didn’t have what it takes, Bucky. We’re not letting Ian take over because he’s not the right choice, do you seriously believe you’d be where you are if it was just George handing you things?”

That made him think for a moment as he swallowed thickly, still keeping his gaze on the skyline and you bumped his shoulder with yours.

“You’re frustratingly good at what you do,” you told him. “Which is going to be a problem when I take over my dad’s business and eventually will have to do business with you, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, it’s fine.”

That managed to coax a chuckle out of him and he turned to look at you better, that fond light playing in his bright blue eyes.

“Thanks Charm.”

Your heart skipped a happy beat and you smiled back at him, then cleared your throat.

“No problem,” you said and walked away from him to grab your phone off the kitchen island.

 “I’m ordering pizza by the way,” you called out, your stomach still filled with butterflies for some reason. “We stormed out in style but I’m still hungry. Want some?”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky #mob!bucky x reader #mob! bucky #mafia!bucky barnes x reader #mafia!bucky barnes #mafia!bucky #mafia bucky barnes #mafia bucky x reader #mob bucky barnes x reader #mob bucky barnes #mob bucky x reader #mob bucky #mob boss!bucky #mob boss bucky barnes #mob au #mob!au #bucky barnes x you

[moondvncer]

🤫

#thank goodness and I repeat thank goodness I have the habit to carry anxiety meds with me #because I swear to god my ex's mom came in the shop just to be annoying #like 'we welcomed you in our family you would have been such a nice wife for him' #and like madam I left him 4 years ago HELLOOOOOO #and not to mention she also said that she can't believe I talked so much shir about him #'we were ready to welcome you in our family despite your situation' #and like is2g that made me laugh because bestie I literally almost got murdered by your soft boy #I had to go to the police AND the hospital to get myself checked bc I couldn't breathe well for a week straight #she walked away like she owned the place and I swear I am still so anxious and I think I'll have to face my whole day with my hands shaking #'you'd be such a nice wife for him' lol my mom was right when she said that not just him considered me the trophy girlfriend but his mom too #I wanna go home besties but the day is still so long....

[princeofyorkshire]

six years since i came out for the first time 🫡

#i saw it is liam’s birthday and i was like holddd onnnn didn’t something else happen on that day and i checked my notes and the answer is Sí #everytime i came out i would write their name out w the date until i came out to my mom in 2019 and didn’t really feel the need to continue #it’s not like i’m OUT out like i keep jumping in and out of the closet lmfao like some days i’m more vocal about it and some other days i’m #kinda regretting making it so public. i don’t know. but one thing i know is that i’ve come a long LONGGG way in the last few years and i’m #v proud of myself for that. like 15 yo me would never believe that i would even allow myself to think about that for more than a second #so yeah. shout out to lil fatima i love you baby we’ll be alright #effie’s journal

[daisies-on-a-cup]

i think god listens to children more often than adults, but also that god only really gives children what they pray for when what they're praying for is something like a second chance

#material goods? nah #god cures stomach aches caused by guilt #saw your tags malihah and it reminded me of the time i prayed in a bathroom stall in a restaurant called FATZ #because i was sick with guilt over having read like. a smut book? i think? on my kindle when i was 8 #and it really wasnt even like the actual books bc you had to pay for those- it was literally summaries/synopsis of the books #but i was soooo sick with the guilt of having to do so that i couldnt eat my potato soup and went to the bathroom #got on my knees and prayed to mary and god for like 10 minutes #just begging them to forgive me and make the pain go away #and i was in there for so long my mom came to check on me but when i left i felt so much better #my stomach pain was gone and later i lost (?) my kindle and idk what happened to it #but i interpreted that as god forgiving me and also getting rid of the thing that made me sin #im more agnostic than i am believing but i do have a relationship with god and i think about that bathroom prayer all the time

[wygolvillage]

.

#ive joked before abt how i never formally came out to my parents and they just knew #and while it is TRUE. the reason my parents knew that they knew is bc my mom was going behind my back to read my social medias at the time #and would check my history and stuff #the interaction was a little like 'you put here that youre bi and like i kind of *suspected*-' #idk i just thought abt that again bc of that post i reblogged earlier #another one of those And My Parents Wonder Why I Don't Tell Them Things And Why I'm So Sneaky All The Time! moments #one of the accounts was a (long buried and deleted) fanfiction.net account so my mom interrogated me about my writing at the time too. #very fun. very cool

[lilacponds]

tw self harm / suicide

because of course when I'm trying to just talk quietly to my dad abt my struggles my mom eavesdrops and then goes in a hissy fit about me faking it and exaggerating it.

we have so many medicines in my house that no one checks

it'd be so easy to wait for everyone to fall asleep and then try to overdose on something .

#dad yelled and argued with mom to defend me and hes my one fucking anchor in this stupid shitty household #he came to check up on me and saw i didnt wanna talk #so he just brought me dinner to eat whenever and left #idk how long ago i wouldve snapped without him here #charlie chatters

[coffee-bat]

i finally had a hyperfixation dream and it really wasn't what i expected, but you know what, it was fun i'll take it.

#just woke up from a dream that started with me going with the tf2 mercs to a local supermarket #and everyone of course started causing chaos in the stokrotka (the market chain) #especially because spy was taking incredibly long looking for Very Specific cosmetics he wouldn't go for anything else #while i was running around like a tired mother of 9 and profusely apologizing to the employees #then for some reason i accidentally made friends with one employee and as i do i got a crush on her #that's when the dream turned away from focusing on tf2 #so we went home after FINALLY finishing the groceries but i wanted to go back the next day to see the girl #so the next day mom came with me (by car) and we tried to go in the store but it was closed because apparently a murder just took place #in it (????) #so we went back to the car but it wouldn't start so while mom tinkered i kept watch #and i was really anxious bc there was yknow. a murderer on the loose in the area #multiple guys approached us as usual when you're in the city after dark #asking for money for booze and shit #and i was freaking out every time just ready to spring to violence #then one guy did actually turn violent when denied money and i stabbed him repeatedly with the jumpstart cables i was holding. #the car finally started so i looked around to check if no cameras caught me and we left to go home like nothing happened #midway through i had a sudden revelation of 'hey wait i think repeatedly stabbing a guy might be illegal' and i asked my mom if dna stays #on metal #she said yes and that we'll clean the Murder Tool when we get home and that's where i woke up. #honestly. while the mercs were only part of the dream 'stabbing a guy with jumpstart cables then leaving like nothing happened' IS still #a very tf2 thing lmao #ramble #murder cw #violence cw #so anyway. i just wrote out a funny dream were i murdered a guy. hope you enjoyed

[aidenwaites]

Ren hadnt been eating well over the past week (maybe a bowl or barely a little more a day as opposed to his usual two) but today was my first day home all day since I started Horse Place again and I just noticed that he's eating on his regular schedule and I 😔

#my mom also told me that when she was coming to check on him he kept running into my room and laying on my bed as soon as she came in 😭 #hopefully though the long hours will get him accustomed to me not being around for when i travel next month #he's staying home with a friend who's gonna petsit so he should be okay beyond a little expected lack of apettite #dog blogging

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

i keep having weird horror game nightmares

#one time i had a nightmare where i downloaded an app that put you in a randomized game during the nighttime. and you you couldn't delete it #without doing a ton of steps #and all of the games had different rules that you had to pay attention to or youd die. especially for ones with creatures in them #the last one i remembered had this thing that couldn't kill you as long as you were hidden and it didn't know and i was so terrified. i was #trying to delete the app forever but it tried to trick you into allowing the games to go on even if you deleted it. and once you did you #couldn't redownload it to get yourself out properly. i ended up being able to do it but i couldn't sleep the rest of the night because it #felt so real and i wasnt sure i had actually gotten out #and then yesterday night i had a dream i was selected by this weirdly religious like. 8 armed ball robot along with a group of other people #and it brought us to this house and it was fine for a bit but then things started happening and there ware rules. and there was another kid #there with me in this room and we had to hide under a blanket or else something would get you. and then it evolved so you also had to copy #the sound pattern it was making. but for that one there was also a different girl there was was definitely part of the house that i didn't #trust. and then there was this other thing where if you weren't tucked in this tall lady would eat you. and i was barely tucked in because #she came out of nowhere and i thought i was going to die but by some weird glitch it registered as tucked. but she leaned over me and tucke #me in properly and i was so sure she was going to kill me and she'd be all up close doing it. and i had this feeling constantly that the #robot was still around out there watching and it terrified me more than anything else #the last thing i remember from that wad waiting for the tall lady to make her rounds again but i woke up. and like again i wasnt all that #sure it didn't happen and then my mom checked up on me and it freaked me out dhfhdjsjkd #anyway i dont like dreaming #personal posts and stuff idk

[eyesopentv]

thinking about how i was only in the hospital for a week bc i hated the staff so much i forgot to hate myself

#miles thots #tw suicide #actually what happened was i told the story of my coming out and expressed my anger at my mom for taking so long to be okay with my transne #in a group session and the nurse was so quick to defend my mom even saying she sounded like a good mom even after i told her it was the #biggest reason i wanted to die #and she was all ‘i’m sure she just didn’t understand’ even though i said i’d sent her videos and links to articles and offered to explain #myself if she still didn’t get it #this nurse made me feel so incredibly invalidated. i left group early and my roommate came to check on me (he’s also trans so he got it) #i was actually still actively suicidal when they released me but i hid it so well bc i couldn’t stand to be in there any longer #my friends saved me more than that place did. they let me crash on their couches until i was ready to talk to my mom #also- in case anyone actually read this: my mom is wonderful and i love her and we have a very strong relationship now. #it took a lot of work to get here though and it doesn’t change how i view what she did or how she made me feel in the past #but we have talked about all of it and i’ve forgiven her. she’s now my biggest supporter and i love her to the ends of the earth #so this story isn’t me talking bad ab my mom- just the situation and the response i received #oh yeah also they violated hippa and i didn’t realize it for about a year and while they had no right- #i also don’t care enough to do anything ab it anymore lol #tw transphobia #< almost forgot that one

[ipoddymouth]

You had 8 tumors??? Bestie omg why and are you okay 😭

blragjeig i am fine truly there was just like a wild period between my teens-early twenties where i was just extremely good at growing tumors???? my lil brother had a similar issue around the same age (he's also fine) i just remember my mom being STRESSED

#theyre benign so its not a big deal they just grew kinda fast #and like....came back a lot gjralga #the doctors arent really sure why but i do have a blood disorder #where its like something is Not Right but i genuinely live a normal life #idk if my brother has the same blood thing i never asked #for the most part the tumors get to stay depending on where they are #and they just get checked once a year #but if they grow steadily or a new one pops up #then i go like every three or six months to get them looked at #and if they want to remove them they are....not subtle glarjggi #they're just like okay we're gonna have you 'talk' to a surgeon before u leave #and the surgeon is just like 'hey u wanna have surgery next week?' #for the 8 tumor day i didnt even tell my mom i had them (long story) #until they took me to the surgeon n she was like girl these gotta go asap #so i had to ask my mom if she could take me for like a full medical procedure in five days #for a tumor she did not know existed #in my defense my mom cries whenever i get a shot like shes so afraid of doctors

[cator99]

I was so weird about lesbian sex for a long time because when I was 14 I hooked up with an older girl at bible camp and suddenly got my period during it and I was so embarassed but she didn't care so we kept going and then I suddenly got a severe nosebleed for no reason while I was on top of her kissing her and you can imagine how that went so there was my blood everywhere all over both of us and this sounds like I'm making shit up but it was insane and k i was panicking but she was like all about it so we just kept going and like it was too late, there was already blood on both of us! Like all over us. and I thought it was kind of powerful. so I let myself get blood all over the cabin. we were feverish. At first I just let my nosebleed drip on the floor and we both laughed like fuck this place yeah lets get blood everywhere. And we did. This is just what makes us girls. We had this cabin entirely to ourselves too for 3 whole nights!! They didn't check on us in there even once!!! Not even the counselors wanted to be near us- we had wanted to be alone and not participate in the religious activities so we told everyone we were sick, however the absolutely insane family who single-handedly ran the camp (the mom was rarely seen of course but the dad was this freaky cult-leader type preacher named Greg, and they had ummmm I think 15 kids or something, most of whom were adults, so they had no issue running this camp on an acreage they owned with very little outsider involvement) genuinely thought we were just posessed by demons, and in response they gave us our own cabin in order to ensure that we were kept away from the other kids there. Major oversight on their part and also sounds illegal but I could tell they were scared shitless of me (weird hair I cut and dyed myself, 3 lip piercings, septum ring, mid kandi kid phase so I had rainbow bracelets up past my elbows) and the girl (who had a jugalette tattoo and was the only black girl at the camp, I think ever)... I ended up getting banned from bible camp for other reasons... lesbian sex blood rituals aside....... (a kid saw me smoking something in a pipe and snitched, and they thought it was weed but it was so obviously just mint tea...) yeah after that I was like "was god punishing me for being a lesbian by making me bleed everywhere during sex oh god I'm going to hell forever and ever waaah" because even though I didn't believe in that shit in any real way at all I still had raging paranoia about being punished for being gay... regardless I came to the conclusion that if all that bloodshed was the price of homosexuality then I'd just have to learn to enjoy it. And I was so right for that . But yeah when I did have sex again after that I was like Ok hellooooo God where is the blood are u there God...???

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#i still feel so uncomfortable when i hear someone say i love you #my parents never were home and when they were they were always so mad at each other #they rarely hugged me or ever embraced me as a child #so now as an adult it just feels so wrong #and yet #yet #i still long to be embraced and have it feel Normal #my mom can be very self centered i see where my sister got it from #the moment i got a job it isnt even a can you help with bills. it was just the bills are due im behind i need some money... #i gave her my first check you would think she would be responsible enough to save majority of it... but no she didn't #an she gets mad at me when i tell her she needs to be better at budgeting finances... #theres no way you should be negative when my dad works and you work and now i work again... and yet she still manages to just spend money #i dont understand it #its like being in my childhood again #i hated it #why did i have to be the adult #i was just a fucking child #why did i have to consolidate your feelings and when it came to mine i was just thrown to the side and told to deal with it #or worse if i cried they'd scream and tell me ill give you a real reason to cry #why did i have to be an adult as a child... why couldn't i had a decent childhood #the fact my grandma and mom defend my dads alcoholism even after how he was with her.. its ridiculous to me #at least he is better now but growing up why did i have to be her therapist.. shes so manipulative as well.. #even when she dealt with her stalker ex boyfriend she never told my dad i was told and i was just a fuckin kid i was only 7 years old #why would a 7 year old need to worry about something like that #now she guilts me into going places with her cause she knows i have horrible anxiety and always think of the worst if someone takes to long #and worst doesn't say anything.. she would be like but if you dont go I won't feel safe pls and me knowing that shes had a stalker #i always end up going with her cause i just dont want to have thay horrid anxiety... but shes perfectly fine when she goes to work alone.. #the way she speaks it you can just tell shes trying to guilt trip me into going places even calls me her best friend #im supposed to be your child not your best friend.. im not your therapist i should have never been put in thag predicament as a child #and yet be left alone with my own sadness as a child while i consolidate for your issues.. the fact is i dont know anything bout my parents

[noonaishere]

So yesterday was the first day I worked on my new fic since... idk two months ago? I’m not even sure now. I had been writing down little scenes or ideas for scenes for it as they came to me (and so I DIDN'T FORGET THEMMMM) but this is the first time I've opened the document in forever...

*checks the version history*

Oh my god, OCTOBER 😫😫😫 holy shit.

But anyway, to try and get back into it - because I HONESTLY forget how to write fiction when I haven't written it for a while - I decided to kind of read through it, edit a little, take notes, look for things that need to be fixed and find spots where these new scenes need to go, and oh my GOD.

First, I fucking MISSED writing, omg. Not to get all Ateez/Halazia on everyone, but:

I think it's mostly a function of: if you've been some kind of artist for most of your life and encounter a period of not being able to create anything for months and your brain just sort of gets like, "Let's see how many breakdowns we can have until we literally die from it." And I'm aware that sounds FUCKING dramatic, but omg....... I had so many breakdowns because all I did was work or think about work. And I wasn't even working full time, that's the thing that kills me. I was working part time hours, had part time benefits, and yet SOMEHOW my job took up my entire week. Like... HOW? HOW? HOW?

how.

Like, I had originally intended to write while I was at that job and slowly (but safely) segue from fanfic writing into writing original fiction (and getting paid for it), and I was so busy that I couldn't even do that.

Capitalism kills creativity, that's the takeaway.

Anyway,

So yesterday I spent all day working on my fic (the first half of it, it's a double y/n fic, remember) and got 45 chapters worked on, and today I spent all day working and got 32 chapters worked on (I accidentally started writing when I wasn't meant to be doing that yet... whoops). It was SO NICE to spend all day on something I actually cared about for a change and didn’t cause me mental anguish. I forgot how that felt and I honestly missed it. I can probably finish working on this half tomorrow. Then I need to compile and decide where all the new scenes are going in (and there might be a small continuity error between it and the second half, so I need to fix that) and then at least ONE of the halves will be done...

...but I can't post it, because both halves will be uploading at the same time, so I need the other half done too 🤣🤣🤣...

...And then I need to make the text screencaps, the twitter screencaps, and the ig screencaps, so like...

I'm getting closer at least?

(Also both halves of the fic have like 116 chapters-- at least unless I change anything and they end up with more 😬😬😬 ...halp)

#ateez #it's an ateez fic so I'll tag it #I think I described them a bit in another post a while ago? #if you want to check that out #I'm also realizing that now that I'm reposting things I should probably make a tag just for my posts #also I forget how to do ANY writing if I don't write for a long time #one time after coming back from summer vacation in the 4th grade I forgot how to spell 'The' #that was a weird one #my mom thought I was lying/being a pest when I asked her how to spell it #the spelling was literally gone from my memory #if I remember right the text screencaps took me two straight weeks last time #not excited for that #or the carpal tunnel that came with it #but: gaja! let's do this!

[pathologicalreid]

could you write fem!BAU!reader x spencer, where reader finds out she’s pregnant while they’re on a case, like maybe she takes a test when she’s at the hotel and spencer hasn’t come back yet

(lack of) convenience | S.R.

who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader category: fluff content warnings: pregnancy, nausea, vomiting, spencer reid is unfortunately perfect. vertigo. fun pregnancy symptoms. word count: 2.04k a/n: and so, the spencer reid dilf agenda continues. this is my legacy.

It came over you just after Spencer and Rossi had left to investigate a lead. This case was going nowhere fast, and the morale in the FBI field office clearly displayed it. “Are you alright?” JJ asked from right next to you, blonde hair curtaining around her face.

You nodded tightly, enough to show the newly minted profiler that you were, in fact, not alright. Nonetheless, you were motivated to push through. People were being murdered, you could brave a little vertigo to bring their killer to justice, right?

“Hey, you look a little pale,” Emily said, walking into the conference room with Hotch trailing close behind her. “Are you feeling okay?”

Rolling your eyes dramatically, you huffed at both of your coworkers. “I’m fine,” you insisted while your head was spinning. You lowered yourself down into an office chair, hoping that being sedentary would prevent your dinner from coming up.

Emily looked over at Hotch before saying, “Maybe you should head back to the hotel, it’s been a long day for all of us.”

Furrowing your brow, you frowned at your colleague. “I’ll make it through, we have work to do,” you insisted, flipping open a file as your stomach churned.

“You’re no help to anyone if you’re sick,” Hotch told you authoritatively, and you knew from his tone that he was going to send you back to the hotel. “Get some rest, we’ll start taking breaks in shifts,” he instructed, turning back to the evidence board.

It didn’t feel like shifts, especially considering you were the only one being cast off. You mumbled an acknowledgment while you stuffed your things in your bag. JJ offered to drive you, so the two of you exited the field office.

The two of you spent most of the ride in silence, just the fuzz of the SUV’s radio as background noise while you tried not to hurl in the government vehicle.

Once you were in the hotel parking lot, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get your bearings before heading inside. “You know, I used to get sick in the evening when I was pregnant with Henry,” she said offhandedly.

It felt like a pointed comment, even if she didn’t mean it like that. You started fishing in your pocket for your room card, “But I’m not pregnant.”

“Are things good with you and Spencer?” She asked, looking for details on your relationship like an older sister. JJ killed the engine before turning to face you.

Sighing, you looked at her, “Things are great with Spencer.” You wanted to scold her for prying, but you knew it was an occupational hazard. It had been seven months, and all you had been telling anyone was “great” or “nice.”

The both of you knew that the more details you gave them, the more they’d want to pry. Penelope especially. “You know he wants kids, right?” She pushed.

You frowned at her, “Jennifer.” She put her hands up in surrender as you hauled yourself out of the SUV, “I just want to go to sleep, I feel awful.” That much was true, as you stood up outside the car, your stomach started to roil again.

“I’ll check in on you later,” she said, recognizing that she had begun to pry. “Let me know if you need anything,” she urged you, the mom in her coming into play.

Nodding, you shut the door before poking your head in the open window, “Thanks, JJ.” You said, turning around and walking to your hotel room.

Luckily, the team was already checked in, so you didn’t need to waste time trying to explain the whole ‘I’m an FBI agent’ thing to the front desk. Once you got into your room, you immediately dropped to your knees in front of the toilet, eyes burning as you upchucked into the toilet.

While you were digging through your go-bag for your toothbrush, you found yourself thinking about what JJ had said to you in the car. You couldn’t be pregnant. Well, you supposed you very well could be pregnant.

Sighing, you returned to the bathroom and started brushing your teeth, having needed to take the toothpaste out of Spencer’s bag. You made a mental note to buy more for your bag – you had been using his for the last four cases.

You silently cursed JJ for planting the thought of a baby in your head as you stared out the hotel window to a convenience store on the corner. At the very least, you could get some saltines and a Gatorade. At the very most, you could get a test.

Begrudgingly, you changed into more comfortable clothes and walked across the street to the convenience store. Grabbing a sleeve of crackers and a drink before stopping in the family planning section.

Why were there so many options?

Not wanting to draw any attention to yourself, you grabbed a digital test off of the shelf and tossed it into your basket. Your shoes squeaked on the linoleum floors as you elected to use the self-checkout, not needing to provide anyone with a front seat to your misery.

Other than the nausea, your trip back to the hotel was uneventful, and thankfully it didn’t look like anyone else on the team had made the trip to your lodging.

After you took the test, you set a timer on your phone, tossing it onto the bed before you sat on the edge of the mattress, sitting on your freshly washed hands. The timer scared you when it went off, not expecting the two minutes to go by so quickly before you returned to the bathroom.

Flipping the test over, the wind was knocked out of you as you read the results.

Yes +

You didn’t know how long you had stared at the test, but the sound of the lock on your door engaging pulled you out of your stupor. Thankfully, you had done the latch on the door, so you had a few extra minutes to toss the test in your go-bag before you went up to the door and let Spencer in.

“Hey, love,” he greeted you, dropping a kiss on your forehead. “How are you feeling?” He asked caringly, someone must’ve told him you weren’t well. You hoped that was all they had told him.

Humming, you leaned into his touch for a moment before he herded you to the bed. “A bit better, but not much,” you were slightly less nauseous now, possibly because there was nothing left in your stomach. There was a dull ache in your chest though, likely a result of the information you were now aware of.

He hooked a finger under your chin and studied your features for a moment, “Were you crying?” He whispered with concern-filled eyes.

You shook your head, “I threw up.” You informed him, the lack of oxygen had caused your eyes to water – similar to a yawn. Meanwhile, your head was spinning as the words balanced precariously on your tongue, I’m pregnant.

Spencer pouted sympathetically, smoothing your hair away from your face before he felt your forehead, checking for a fever. “I’m going to take a shower,” he announced softly, “do you need anything?”

Pathetically, you gestured over to your Gatorade and saltines, silently letting him know that you were all good for the night. It was only about eight in the evening, but you were exhausted. Letting your head flop onto the pillows, you sighed before shutting your eyes.

“Hey, Y/N,” Spencer spoke up in an unfamiliar tone. “What is this?”

Crinkling your nose in frustration, you propped yourself up on your elbows, looking over at Spencer as he held up your test. Your positive pregnancy test. “Would you believe me if I told you it wasn’t mine?” Clearly, in your panic to hide the test, you had tossed the blue stick in Spencer’s bag. Your subconscious must’ve recalled that you had gotten the toothpaste out of that bag, so you thought it was yours.

Any confusion fell from his face, and in that instant, he knew exactly what was going on. “You’re pregnant?”

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, you couldn’t tell how he was feeling. “I-“ you swallowed thickly, the roiling in your stomach picking back up again. “Yes,” you answered in a small voice.

“When were you going to tell me?” He asked, there was no accusation in his voice, just pure curiosity and wonder. When you stayed silent, his eyes narrowed, “You were going to tell me, weren’t you?” He said, his volume raising from a whisper to a normal speaking level.

Pulling yourself up into a sitting position, you protectively crossed your arms in front of your stomach. “Oh my god, yes, I was going to tell you,” you clarified quickly. He didn’t seriously think you were going to hide this from him, did he?

He shook his head in confusion, “Then why hide it, angel?”

Shrugging, you thumbed the soft fabric of your sweatshirt, “I wanted time to think about it.” The admission hung in the thick tension of the hotel room.

“Okay,” he said slowly, walking over and sitting across from you on the mattress. It was clear to you that he was dealing with this situation delicately. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you about this, but I excel in thinking,” he told you.

His implications were clear to you, he wanted you to talk it out with him. “I want kids, you know I want kids. I know you want kids,” you blurted. It was something you had talked about early on in your relationship. Spencer had been very upfront with you about wanting children, he told you he needed to be with someone who also wanted that.

Spencer tilted his head to the side, “but?” He said gently, taking both of your hands in his, holding on to you.

“It’s too soon,” you whispered, feeling vulnerable on the bed with him.

He smiled at you softly, “Have I ever told you about the first time I knew that I was in love with you?”

The question left you understandably confused, “What?” You breathed, silently pleading for clarification.

Spencer nodded, “We were on a case in North Dakota, and there was this little girl who had just lost both of her parents.” The case did sound familiar, the more brutal ones involving children tended to stick with you. “We were waiting for a social worker to come stay with her, but they were stuck in a snowbank across town. Instead of working on the case, you sat down with her and taught her how to play cat’s cradle.” His voice was soft, almost placating you.

You hadn’t even realized you were crying until tears fell onto your intertwined hands, “Spence, that was years ago.”

“Two years, nine months, and thirteen days ago. I fell in love with you while watching you put a smile on her face despite the fact that it was the worst day of her life,” he said, skimming the pads of his thumbs over the backs of your hands. “I fell in love with your ability to make people feel good when the world is against them,” he murmured.

Taking a shaky breath, you looked up at him through bleary eyes, “What if we can’t protect them?”

Gathering you in his arms, Spencer let you tuck your face in the crook of his neck, “I’ll do whatever you want, Y/N. We can leave, I could be a professor and you could be a stay-at-home mom. If you want, I could stay with the BAU and you could stay home, or you can stay with the team, and I’ll stay home. Whatever you want, Y/N.”

Silently, you absorbed his words as you caught your breath, “I’m scared” you whispered.

“I know,” he murmured, “that’s okay. It’s okay to be scared.” He tightened his arms around you and rocked back and forth.

Allowing yourself to lean into him, you breathed him in, “You’re going to be such a good dad.”

He dropped a soft kiss on the crown of your head, “You’re already such a good mom.”

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #written by margot #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds angst #spencer reid hurt/comfort #criminal minds hurt/comfort #margot's requests #spencer reid dilf agenda #anon