#and if i ever write anything for this fandom i don't want you anywhere fucking near it

[acerikus]

I'm. So fucking glad the block + mute buttons on ao3 exist now oh my god

#just saw smth in the yellow tag that made me really fucking angry #fuck you get blocked and muted. don't wanna accidentally read one of your other fics if you do anything less sus bc you deserve no support #and if i ever write anything for this fandom i don't want you anywhere fucking near it #L + ratio + THEY'RE KIDS + HE WOULD NOT FUCKING DO THAT #wish this feature existed when i was in the k/////h fandom lol #i wish anyone writing smut of any of these children a very die. and die even more painfully for noncon #pushing that HORRIBLE thing away though. yeah i really like that you can barr people from even looking at your shit #while not having to add their name to the exclude list every time you wanna get rid of them now #can't understand why this wasnt here from the start but at least it exists now

[thebibliosphere]

I saw your post about ingram, and out of curiosity, is there some advantage to going through the whole self-publishing thing with retailers when you're just starting out? like I mean the way that fandom zines work is that they don't even bother going through ingram or amazon or whatever. they just set up a social media site (usually twitter) to gain followers, open preorders (usually 1-2 months in length) to generate the costs of printing upfront, and then sell anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred copies of their books (usually artbooks, but anthologies exist too). I've seen some zines generate over a thousand orders. they're kind of like pop-up shops, except for books. maybe the sales numbers aren't so impressive to a real author, but the profit generated is typically waaaay more than the $75+ apparently needed for Ingram Spark, so I still feel like new authors could benefit from this method too, especially if they just need some start-up cash to eventually move to ingram if they want to for subsequent runs of their book. I think authors would also have to set aside some of the pre-order money to buy an ISBN number to have printed on their book, and I'm not really sure what other differences there are, but I just wanted to ask about it in case there's some huge disadvantage I'm missing!

So, popup zines work well for some people, and I know some authors who kickstart their work successfully. But for a lot, it's just not feasible as a long-term stratedy. Or even as a means to get off the ground.

Fanzines succeed primarily because an existing fanbase is willing and ready to throw money at something they love. They’ve got a favorite writer or artist they want to support. Supporting all the others is just a happy by-product. They also take a HUGE amount of short-term but intense planning that just doesn’t always jive with how some of us work.

I, for one, would never offer to organize a fanzine. I’ll take part in them as a creator, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than subject myself to wrangling that many people and dealing with the legal logistics.

When it comes to authors doing anthologies, it'svery much the same. The success of the funding often hinges on having other big-name authors involved whose existing fans will prop up the project. Or having a huge marketing budget.

Most self-pub authors have zero marketing budget. I’m one of them, and I’m under no illusions that my work would not be as popular and self-sustaining as it is if I didn’t have a large Tumblr blog.

When I thank Tumblr in my forewards, I am utterly sincere. Tumblr brought fandom levels of enthusiasm to an unknown work and broke the Amazon algorithm so hard, that Amazon thought I was bot sniping my way to multiple #1 spots and froze my sales rankings.

That’s not the norm. And while I could probably kickstart my own work as an indie creator, that’s because I’ve put literal decades into building up a readership. I’ve been doing this since I was 16 and realized people thought I was funny. I didn’t know what to do with it or if I’d ever actually write anything, but it meant the groundwork was already there (thank you, past-me). I basically fell upward into my success by virtue of never being able to shut the fuck up and wanting to make people laugh. Clown instincts too strong.

New or first-time authors trying to sell their work without that will find it infinitely harder.

All of that aside, even if an unknown author somehow gets lucky and manages to fund their work, there’s still the question of shipping and distribution logistics. Are you shipping everything yourself? Better hope you’re able-bodied and have the time for it. (for reference, it took me months to ship out 300 patreon hardbacks because of my disabilites. It damaged my back and hands. I couldn’t type for several weeks after I was done.)

Are you going to sell primarily at conventions? Better hope you’re able-bodied, have the time and don’t have cripling anxiety about being in large groups...

Also, will selling a dozen to a few thousand copies in one burst be sustainable in the long run as a career? Not for me. Doing things via Ingram and Amazon means I earn a steady trickle of sales for the rest of my life provided the platforms remain and so long as I keep working and can generate interest in the series, not just when I have funds to pay for physical copies to sell. The one-time (in theory) cost of $75 to distribute through Ingram gets paid off pretty quick that way. And it doesn't require the same logistics as doing the popup/crowdfund.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you are capable of but also the type of work you’re doing. If you’ve got an extended network of fellow creatives who will back you or you’ve got a large following elsewhere, doing it like a popup might work for you.

If you’re an exhausted burnout who can’t fathom the short but intense amount of organization that sort of thing requires, not to mention doing it over and over and over... Ehhhhh. No thank you.

[azrielgreen]

I feel like no matter how hard I try I can’t get over jealousy and insecurity and constantly comparing myself to other writers in the fandom. It’s either I don’t write enough, or I don’t write fast enough, I don’t write interesting or unique enough. If I get kudos, someone gets more, if I get comments, someone gets more thoughtful comments. It’s like a dark spiral in my brain. Do you have any tips on pushing through despite all the inner turmoil and noise? I’d be very grateful for your help!! 🖤

Hello, love, I'm sorry for the delay in answering. I wanted to give your Ask the proper attention in answering it.

Comparison is the death of joy.

I think jealousy and comparison in fandom is rife and no matter how much positivity and success someone projects, they too have had their dark moments comparing hit counters and kudos. In a fandom of THIS size it's deeply unhealthy, I personally believe, for us all to be so interconnected and visible.

I also believe that writers should write for themselves and the joy of creating something and crafting it, never expressly FOR the outcome of comments/attention but of course, that's becoming the norm now. People write to be popular. I see so many people at this point in the fandom not getting anywhere near the same amount of interactions they were a year ago, so comparisons and jealousy unfortunately become widespread, and equally, cliques begin to form to police the remaining attention as it slowly simmers down.

My tips for pushing through this would be first and foremost, write for yourself. Keep your true passion alive by writing what you fucking LOVE! Writing for other people will only ever go so far because attention wanders, interest fades and hyperfixations dissolve. If you write for yourself first, and share second, then you'll always be true to your inner creator and you'll always have ideas, passions and authentic stories coming alive inside you.

Secondly, and I know how hard this is for people, but stop comparing as much as you can. There will always be someone who has more than you and there are people who have less than you. Writing is art, art is to make people feel things they would not otherwise feel. To provoke humanity and lead us towards self exploration. To give comfort, empathy, guidance, joy, cathartic heartbreak and much more! I think so much of the true meaning of writing has been lost by the imposing domination of social media in fandom. I always recommend people trying to find that spark again, that little flash of magic that reminds you why you started.

And thirdly, this is hardest to hear, I know, but when you feel like this, it's usually a good indication to take a break. When you feel anxious, unhappy or low, you're going the wrong way. Move away from what is causing this, especially if it's anything on the internet - a dangerous and often toxic microcosm with an echo chamber effect.

Writing in real life is a beautiful thing, too.

Write something just for you, don't tell anyone, then orphan it, never read the comments, and move on. Rekindle your passion however you can, romanticise your methods, find new sources of inspiration and above all, please, have fun! and if you're not having fun in fandom - a place intended for fun and fuck all else - then please, take a break, love. Nothing is more important than your mental health.

P.S - also take into a account how MASSIVELY skewed A03 stats are due to longevity/legacy fics. There is ✨NO WAY ON EARTH✨ if I posted YD today it would make it into the top 1000 fics out of 24k and that would be wonderful still, that has always been my experience in the past. No comparison is ever justified or solid and it is truly the death of joy. Write for you, for your friends, and the people who will read it in 10 years time who NEED it. Nothing else matters.

💜💜💜

[sapphire-weapon]

So. I gotta say some shit.

I think we all have a tendency to be more gracious to Ada's character than she rightfully deserves. I'm guilty of this, too. We all want to give her the benefit of the doubt and insist that her character serves a purpose and is worth talking about because she's A. such a huge part of Leon's character and B. the only non-white member of the cast, but like.

There's nothing there.

I noticed this when I rewatched Separate Ways recently (because fuck ever playing that shit again holy fuck Separate Ways sucks to play).

After RE2, Ada isn't a character anymore. She has absolutely no arc; her character never develops or goes anywhere. She's not tied to anyone or anything in the plot in a way that matters -- even her relationship with Wesker doesn't fucking matter, because there's no fallout or consequence as a result of anything she does to/with/for him, whether it's beneficial to him or against him. She has only one facet to her personality: snarky and mysterious. We never see her emote or speak in a context removed from either of those two qualifiers. Ever.

She has some softer moments here and there, but they last for like a single line of dialogue or two and then the scene just completely moves on without them -- so, those softer moments never actually matter anyway.

She doesn't enhance or enrich Leon's character in any way; the only thing her character serves to do is isolate him from the main cast, which gives his character nowhere else to go other than horrible, spiraling depression because every action he takes in his life turns out to be completely meaningless -- because it's not allowed to mean anything, because he's become so far divorced from the central plot of the series.

The only functional purpose that Ada Wong actually has is as a plot contrivance to explain how a bad guy did a thing. Other than that, she exists solely as a pair of legs and tits for Leon to chase after.

We all hold out hope that Remake is going to change this and turn her into a real person with autonomous motivations and goals, and there might be some merit to that, but like

She's not there yet. She's just not. There is no there there, when we talk about Ada's character.

And this tiptoeing around that we all do to try to make it seem like we're supportive of her character just

strikes me as silly a lot of the time, man.

I understand wanting to give credit where it's due, but it's not due for Ada's character. And I understand the desire to not be seen as misogynistically bashing her, but I feel like supporting her character as it currently exists is what's actually misogynistic. Because her portrayal in canon is misogynistic.

And I also understand the desire to not be seen as being a ship war fuckhead, but like. It's not about the ships, man. It's about Ada. Specifically Ada. She just sucks, dude.

And this is coming from the person who has probably written more meta about Ada Wong in an attempt to justify her character than basically anyone else in the fucking fandom.

idk I've just been thinking about this lately while perusing EagleOne fics. It feels like everyone in this ship feels obligated to address The Ada Problem before they can start to justify a relationship between Leon and Ashley, and it's like

No, you don't. Especially in Remake canon, you absolutely do not have to bring up Ada at all. Because Remake seems very self-aware of the fact that the problem with Leon's character has always been Ada, which is why they seem to be actively writing her out of his overall arc.

Like. Let's just call it for what it is. Ada is the worst part of Leon's character. The relationship is poorly written and poorly executed and doesn't make any fucking sense for who both characters are actually meant to be. They actively hold each other back -- not as people, but as characters who are meant to meaningfully contribute to the storyline.

And idk I'm just tired. I'm just tired of always having to do the hand-wringy "oh no no, Ada's really cool and great and I'm not trying to diss on her, and her relationship with Leon actually matters" shit, man.

Because she's not cool or great and her relationship with Leon doesn't actually matter -- and if it does matter at all, it's due to the negative impact that her presence brings -- not just to him, but to the entire fucking plot of the series.

She's the worst recurring element in the entire series, and there's not even a close second.

#resident evil #ada wong

[lesbianspeedy]

can I hear about the mia and ollie similarities whenever you have time...

theyre blonde :( thats it :( okay but ACTUALLY LETS GET INTO IT

They're loud assholes to people who need to be yelled at, but theyre actually hella introverted.

Mia "i think fast i talk fast" Dearden will mouth off at villains and batman, and take the piss out of people she loves. BUT she wasn't exactly shown to have like a friend group at her school (she was shown to be popular. but we only see her specifically interact with one person), and was extremely nervous to join the titans, not because they intimidated her, but because she didnt really...want to be there. She'd rather be with people she knows. She spends most of her time practicing archery, even before she was speedy. The only time we ever saw her go out anywhere was on a date with Dodger. And I will be pretending for the sake of this post that all of this is bc of character stuff and not just bad writing!

Similarly, Ollie "goateed loudmouth" Queen thrives when he's alone, he prefers it, he rarely spends time with people outside of his family or close close friends. He'll rant and rave at leaguers and cops and capitalists and villains all day long, but he's at his happiest and most content when he's alone, and often when on the move too, this man cannot sit still he is like a fucking shark he will die if he is in the same place too long but thats unrelated to this post.

As is pretty much a requirement to be in the arrowfam. Neither of them are here to fight the big alien threats you take on while being in the league/titans. They're here to save the little guy and fuck up capitalists. They have both seen the worst of society on the very opposite ends of the spectrum, Ollie with the rich, Mia with those the rich forget or ignore. I don't think I really need to add an example of Ollie here considering thats like his main this if u know anything about him. But look heres mia thinking abt it in her first titans issue.

Now with coping mechanisms they're a lil different, Mia tends to isolate and stay in one place. Ollie will isolate but fuck off somewhere. Accidentally walk to canada. That sorta thing.

(pls ignore how terrifying bald ollie is)

They also both mask their emotions and deflect with humour when around other people, they don't want others to have to deal with their shit, they don't want to burden them (hence the isolation, this also often leads to them imploding in on themselves). Heres my most favourite example of their similarities ever (yes I will continue to post and talk about this specific thing every 3 weeks and no one can stop me) I do owe Hester my life for this

Now heres the best part. They both did this a lot right. And yknow what that led to? Learning and growing and being there for each other :] Now im going to be honest we dont really see this growth in vol 3 bc judd winick is incapable of writing character development but! Phil Hester is here for us once again with his story in the 80th special and this part specifically <3

Also once again a whole arrowfam thing- neither of them give two shits about their secret id lmao. I choose to believe Mia is so flippant about hers bc she so easily realised Ollie was GA that she just went like. Yeah sure I won't give a fuck either, it's clearly working for him.

oh and they both like musical theatre, hate batman and are homophobic**. sad. **not actually thats just an in joke in fandom

#mia dearden #oliver queen #ollie queen #long post #arrowfam #listen this isnt. worded the best #not very concise or articulate #but like u get it #u get it #pls get it #theres some more stuff but im not in my big brain mode rn so i cant word it right #anyways #green arrow #dc comics #them teehee #THE HOMOPHOBIC THING IS A JOKE DW

[godlesslittlecreatures]

Creature’s Petyr x Catelyn Masterlist, Part I

I've read it all...so you don't have to. 

I was delighted to get back on this app and find that there was demand for something like this. Even in the time since I started compiling this list, I've seen a few other lists going around, which makes my previously-closeted-PxC-shipper heart fucking sing. Y'all, I am not exaggerating when I say I very well may have read every single fic ever written for this pairing. That's both a fool's errand and impossibly easy considering the sheer lack of content, as I'm sure you know yourself if you're reading this post. 

I have stirred the dust at the very edges of the internet in my desperate, months-long search for quality content for this pairing. And believe me you, I'm no stranger to the disappointment of seeing something tagged "Petyr Baelish/Catelyn Tully Stark" (I encounter this issue more on AO3 than anywhere else, really), only for it either be an ancillary detail of the story, straight up nonconsensual, or an attempt by a butthurt ficwriter to punish two characters that so many people in the fandom seem to, at best, grievously misunderstand. Mistagging has caused me many an hour of eventual disappointment and cost me many a precious hour of my life that I will never get back.

But, even after wading chin-deep in all the shit this fandom has to offer, I have found gold. I'm here to prove it exists, if you only know where to look.

But Creature, what makes a fic good? How do you ascribe worth to something so subjective?

I've been told I'm a harsh critic, but this is less about literary merit than it is assessing quality as it pertains to the ship. Of course, many of these DO have some kind of literary merit, or, at least, are enjoyable to read. I grade a fic based on the following rubric, let's call it the Four Commandments of Petelyn Fic :

any acts of a sexual nature MUST - and I cannot stress this enough - be consensual. Do what you do, write what you write - I'm not here to police anyone's work. But don't put a pairing in the ship tag if anything that would earn it that slash between the characters' names is happening against either party's will. I simply will not read it. 

Petyr and Catelyn must have AT LEAST 2 face-to-face, one-on-one conversations. If you're going to use that damn slash, it doesn't have to be the principal element of the story, but it better feature in the foreground of the story, at least. It cannot just be a background detail that's mentioned once, off-handedly, at the end of a 63 chapter fic (true story, y'all). Better yet, it should have significant bearing on the plot, not unlike the way the relationship between the two does in canon - but that's a tall order, apparently. 

I alluded to this earlier. As an extensions of the first tenet - I do not want to feel the heat of the writer's hatred for the two characters through the story. So, SO often will people throw this pairing into some kind of canon divergent something or another and thrust them into each other's arms as a punishment for their Crimes in canon. Cat is Big Mean to Jon, so she gets the boot from Ned and ends up with Caricature of Petyr Who Lacks Any And All Nuance That Made The Character Interesting In The First Place to pay for Her Sins. I'm reading a fic because I like the characters, and I like the idea of them together (or, in many a case, him pining after her), not to stand beside someone on their moral high ground as they punish the two with each other. Again, not here to police anyone's work, so if you hate them both and want to take them to task by forcing them into some kind of relationship, be my guest! But don't expect to find your fic listed here. 

I have my own personal preferences (submissive Petyr, as I am not attracted to dominant men and genuinely don't think he would fill the dominant role in this relationship; I'll always prefer to read something requited, but that's even rarer a find; I'm not entirely crazy about AUs but can make exceptions, etc.) but I am trying to keep this as objective as possible. This list includes a pretty wide range of stuff, all of which I've enjoyed enough to reread at least once.

This may all seem like it goes without saying, but you'd be surprised. 

My credentials? A degree in TV and Film. I've read the books, and have studied the first three seasons of Thrones so closely that if I close my eyes I can watch full scenes in my head. I've been writing fic, fiction, television, and short films for 12 years, and reading and watching for nearly twice as long. And, most importantly, I'm a feral goblin who is batshit insane over these two. 

This list features fic from every corner of the internet - AO3, Tumblr, Live Journal. I unfortunately have been very hard-pressed to find anything that suits my fancy on FF.net, but if anybody has any recommendations (in line with the above), I intend for this list to be a living document.

And no, before anyone asks, I do NOT ship Petyr and Sansa. Respectfully, please keep that far the fuck away from me.

So, without further ado, here's a list of a very picky Petyr x Catelyn girlie's favorite fics.

An EXCELLENT starter kit. This is a three-part series that's currently updating. There are other things going on outside of them, but the relationship is essential to the story, thanks to the Cat POV chapters. This was the gateway drug for me way back when I still felt shame for shipping these two, and I love it still to this day. I love this series so much that, when I received the update notification for a particular Catelyn chapter in the middle of my college graduation, I dropped everything to read it. It moves fast, the political landscape is explored thoroughly, the divergence from canon is both plausible and interesting, and if you're not into smut, it's pretty fade-to-black.

Another one I read just after I'd taken the plunge down the rabbit hole. This is a notable exception to my general aversion to AUs - it works here, the real-world transpositions are not only believable, but clever! It features some pretty complex and subversive relationships between the characters; the PxC is certainly a critical, foreground element, but not always in the most immediately obvious way. Definitely had me Giggling and Kicking My Feet throughout. Refreshing is certainly a word. Obligatory smut advisory on this one, though.

Yes, I know, but hear me out. If you want to sample the best of the PxC wares the internet has to offer, you're gonna have to get down and dirty with Google's 'translate website' feature. This one is WORTH IT. I still tear up every time I read this. I have a particular soft spot for it because it reminds me of a short film I wrote/directed in college about my own experience with rejection and first love.

I believe this one is locked (meaning it requires an AO3 account to access), but making an account is both free and worth it. Yes, I know Winds is never coming out, but in my own delulu canon, this is it, this is the book. End series. Roll credits. 

Short as hell, you get the idea, but still fade-to-black if smut isn't your thing. It's hard to find good, dirty fic for this pairing. I do not currently have the mental bandwidth to be the change I wish to see in the world, but I will gladly support anyone with more patience than I.

Another locked one...oh no, I guess you'll just have to make an account.

Locked, again, but you know the drill. I believe it's by the same writer as the above. Always haunted by things that invoke Ewan McGregor's line in Moulin Rouge! - "thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love."

Not PWP but smut with themes, a favorite subgenre of mine.

Wholesome fluff to temper the fires of the above.

I think this may have been the very first one I ever read. Short and sweet, I revisit it pretty often.

Unfortunately, Tumblr only lets me add ten links at a time, so this is Part I of a multi-part series. I'll keep this post pinned at the top of my blog and add a link to succeeding parts in the comments.

I intend for this to be a living document - if you have any recommendations, my inbox is always open. Happy reading, my fellow PxC shippers :)

#petyr x catelyn #petyr baelish #catelyn tully #petelyn #asoiaf #game of thrones #aidan gillen #fanfiction #creature's petelyn fic club

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

you are officially the strongest person alive for not just closing the askbox after some of the trash you've gotten from idiots on this site. gdspeed and good luck holy hell

I've received a lot of asks like this one so I wanna respond and clarify

I actually love getting asks and even anon asks. I prefer having anon on bc yk big boy blog and all that but also so that people can send me their silliest things.

I really do truly genuinely enjoy having this blog and especially interacting w it. I've made a lot of friends recently and it's just fun to be able to talk ab the cringe failgame from a decade ago. Both for myself and in front of such a large audience.

Ever since I became aware I'm literally in the top 10 on skyrim blogs (at #9 but still) some of my anons started making a lot more sense. The power of anonymity makes people braver, which is good for things like funny headcanons and such.

I don't really like having to turn anon off and god I hope I don't have to shut asks off entirely. Fortunately once I turned anon off my inbox became a lot more peaceful. Funny that.

If I were to compare the two I'm sure I've gotten much more love than hate, but hate is much louder than love. And I know me giving it attention doesn't help much of anything but on the other hand people can and do throw around serious words about an unserious video game on unserious posts from an unserious person.

Even if I ignored all of it, just having to see it can feel so draining. And it isn't just in my inbox. It's also in the tags. I've repeatedly tried to express how deeply uncomfortable I am, AS A JEWISH PERSON OF COLOR, with people throwing words like racist and genocide around all willy nilly over video game characters.

It trivializes those real world issues, that have affected me, my ancestors, and people like me, down to fucking. Skyrim discourse. It's extremely frustrating. And from what I can see I don't think anyone is doing it maliciously or to get a rise out of me. But I think the sheer weight of those words has gotten lost.

And not to pull another race card, but this is especially upsetting from white people. I'm not thrilled about the fact white people keep talking over me and other people of color in the fandom about what is and isn't racist.

But I do also see the love. I see the cats in my inbox and the lovely asks and people writing paragraphs to defend me (when tbh I haven't done anything wrong anyways but. Eh.) and it's genuinely very touching and sweet and even if I don't reply to it (there's a lot to reply to!) I do see it and I appreciate it.

And for the poll, I fully plan on seeing it through. Round 2 closes tomorrow after which I'll set up round 3/the semi finals and then we go to the championship!

I started this poll, also this blog, for fun. I want people to have fun. I want to have fun. And most of the time I do have fun! But with the uptick in activity that brings *gestures vaguely* what it does.

Tumblr is one of those very few websites with true anonymity. This and reddit are the only ones I can think of where it's not expected to have your name, face, or other info about you anywhere. Which is a rare blessing on today's internet but it makes people very audacious about what they can and can't say to me.

I think because of that anonymity it's easy to forget I'm a human person. I very much doubt some of things I've had said to me in the last 48 hours would still be said if it was face to face. I truly don't think someone would look me in the eye and tell me to kill myself over skyrim bullshit.

And the funny part of that is if they did, I'd probably laugh in real life. For the sheer ridiculousness of the statement. "Hey. You. End your life because of video game drama" spoken to me at the local Target would be funny to me. But with the anonymity it feels just as hurtful as I'm sure it's supposed to be.

Thanks for letting me ramble and such. I'm not really even sure what I'm trying to say with all this. Other than I'm human, you're human, we're all humans, and we'd do well to remember that. Please just be nice to each other..

And be nice to me.

[ponyguru]

Okay, I'm probably way behind everyone else, but I just watched Hilda Season 3 on Netflix, and I have Thoughts about the finale. (Behind a cut, since it's exclusively spoilers for the very last episode, ha! I'm not gonna tag this for the fandom or anything, I just feel like I have to vent this somewhere or else I'll explode!)

Okay, so I literally started this season thinking, okay, a guy wrote the original graphic novel, but it's not going anywhere with shitty takes on women, so that's great, right? I'm really happy with that, and relieved, because men generally seem to not be able to write women well.

And then we get to the last episode, and it's literally just "oh hey, your mom spends the entire series acting as the human Stick In The Mud who prevents her minor child from going on death-defying adventures, but it's okay! because it turns out she's actually a half fairy who lost her parents tragically when she's ten! Now she has them back!

Ohhhh wait, because we don't want to awkwardly fold these new fairy characters into the existing universe - erm I mean, for plot reasons, her parents who she tragically lost as a child can't ever come back to see her again! So being a mom is unending tragedy, with a deadbeat fuckboy ex husband, her only family being some bitchass aunt who spent her whole life lying to her, financial struggles, and completely cut off from the people she misses most, who she only got to see for a few hours before being ripped away from them again.

Happy ending for all, hooray! Fireworks!"

Like are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?

This ENTIRE SERIES is centered around the idea that "the established status quo is wrong, and Hilda is the one who can repair that balance even if it doesn't seem likely because she's just a little girl", but we get to the Fairy Realm, and suddenly it's "whelp, can't do anything, sorry mom! bye bye fairy family forever!"

The only saving grace for the series ending on a stupid-as-fuck note might be that, since it's the last season, they simply didn't have time to wrap things up in a better manner, and for all I know, the graphic novel has a completely different take on this whole situation. But seriously, I felt so bad for poor Johanna, whose entire character arc seems to be "get used to being miserable, honey, cuz you're not the main character."

Or, alternately, 'a mom's only meaning is in her child, and she has to sacrifice all happiness for herself for the sake of her child, because once women have children they cease to exist as individuals,' but maybe that's a whole other rage essay to type out. GRRRRR.

I'm sure the intended meaning was, 'ohhhh it's so woooonderful having a chiiiiild you'd sacrifice anything for them, including your own happiness', but that's bullshit because the entire series is about Hilda breaking down magical barriers/beings and making things work out for the better. But not when it comes to her mom, I guess???

#anyway women deserve more than to just suffer endlessly for their children the end #ponyguru chat

[beansterpie]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks for tagging me @marley-manson! <3

I would tag people but it's late and my brain is tired so literally, PLEASE just adopt this tag meme if you see it and read the whole thing. You have my full permission to say I tagged you, even if we've never spoken lol. Go for it, be audacious.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

43,487!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well the posted fic is a Berserk fic, but I have various other wips that I pick away at when I'm bored. Among them include Eyeshield 21, MDZS, RotE, Harry Potter (technically?). Those are the most recent ones anyway.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Chain of Dissent, she's my favorite fic <3 (she's my only fic)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yeah I try to! Though I'll admit uhhhh I haven't updated it in... fucking? two years? god, and so I've been bad about responding to the more recent comments because I feel guilty for not updating in so long :') Really gotta get back to it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None, because I haven't finished a fic yet lol

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far! I've gotten a couple of comments that come across as unintentionally mildly rude, but definitely nothing that constitutes as hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Well not so far in CoD, but, ahem, I have written smut in one of my wips lol. Deeply self indulgent but I guess character driven? It's mildly nasty and desperate <3

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't actually written a crossover (yet. well, recently) but they are a bit of a passion of mine lmao. I love ridiculous crossovers, and I'm talking about "a magical portal opens up and throws characters from fandom A into the world (& characters) of fandom B" type shit. I don't need the ways in which the characters interact to make sense, I just want them to be thrown together and see where it goes from there. Fish out of water shenanigans! Characters questioning their own motivations and idea of life by seeing a world entirely different from theirs!! Just like, fun shit! I also absolutely don't need for the two fandoms to be similar lol. I have a somewhat detailed Berserk/Eyeshield 21 crossover living rent free in my head so clearly anything goes.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Lol no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I'll probably have to say GriffGuts, because it's a ship that's gripped me by the neck for the past 7 years or something, where my interest in it hasn't really waned.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Uhhhh, idk? I mean I am DETERMINED to finish CoD, so that's out. And the wips I write in my spare time are just like, things I do for fun where I don't put any pressure on myself over it. I'm not planning on posting them anywhere, and I'm not generally planning on 'finishing' them either. I mean if I do finish one, I might post it, but again, they're low key things that I'm not taking too seriously.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hm. I honestly don't consider myself a very strong writer, at least in terms of things like prose and sentence structure, grammar, that sort of thing. I think I'm pretty decent at figuring out the direction that I want the story to go, and all the individual steps that need to happen to get to that point in a way that feels organic (at least, imo.) And I like to think I'm pretty good at characterization-- having the characters behaving and reacting in ways that feel like could concievably happen in canon is generally what I'm going for.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Yeah prose, lol. I mean, I don't actually dislike my more.... utilitarian writing style, mainly because I generally prefer reading more direct writing (unless the lyrical writing is really really good), but I do think I could inject some more illustrative details and metaphors into my writing overall. @marley-manson is SO good at coming up with perfect metaphors to describe a situation or feeling, all while perfectly recreating the character's voice, and I really admire that about her writing!

I also want to get better with having characters like, doing things while they're talking. I find a lot of the conversations I write happen between characters just kind of standing around, which obviously is fine but I'd like to construct scenes with a bit more specificity in the future.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Wait so like, say in a fic that is otherwise written in English, having a line of dialogue written in Spanish when a character is speaking it? I... don't have strong feelings about it one way or the other I guess lol. I mean ideally the line(s) written in the other language are correct lol, and not just badly google translated or something.

Though you know, now that I think about it, I feel like it would work best between languages that use the same alphabet (which does end up narrowing the possible languages down quite a lot) because that way the reader can still sound out the dialogue even if the don't understand the language, which could emulate what the pov character is experiencing. Whereas if it was a fic written in English, and then had a line written in, say, Japanese, the reader wouldn't even be able to sound it out so it's kind of a brick wall. (Unless there's footnotes, but that tends to be a little more clunky in fic than in a published book with pages).

If the readers are supposed to understand the dialogue written in another language, like two characters suddenly start speaking in said other language and we're meant to keep up with the conversation, then I feel like it's just easier to translate their words in whatever language the fic is written in otherwise.

But yeah idk, I think with intent and good execution, anything can work, but it could also be done in a way that's more annoying than anything.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think. It was neopets LMFAO. I remember writing a fic when I was like 10 about Hannah (the adventurer) and Jacques (from the maraqua plot comic) as a romantic couple because I was annoyed at the time that there were multiple fics about Hannah and Garin (or whatever his name was, also from the maraqua plot) getting together even though I thought Garin was BORING and they were just shipped together because they were both usuls (which are overrated imho), even though Jacque was obviously better.

... I may have had a crush on Jacques.

But the first fic that I think I posted anywhere was for Xiaolin Showdown lmfao, probably also when I was 10 or 11 or something. I wrote like four separate fics for that show.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Yeah it's CoD lol. It's the longest thing I've written so far, and I'm overall still very proud of it. I'd probably go back and change some things in the first chapter because it reads a little clunky and like, abrupt to me now, but I'm not doing that until I finish the fic. Allowing myself to go back and edit stuff before I've even finished the story seems like a road to ruin lol.

#tag meme #marley-manson #ty for tagging me! this was fun #but now i am yawning all over the place so I gotta sleeeepppp #have work in the morning rip

[slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction]

N I C O L E

For the fic meme 😘

Ahhhh, you're so cute, I love you 😍😍😍😍 Thanks babe, excellent letter choices 😉

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Ohhh, so many. Too many. I tend to get a bolt of inspiration, start writing, and then get waylaid by another idea. But one I am making some inroads in at the moment is a weird little ✨time✨ fic, but I don't want to give anything away for that. We'll see if it works out LOL

I: How many fandoms have you written in?  Do you have a favorite?

*joints start creaking* back in my LJ days I wrote for Supernatural mostly, but d(r)abbled in a few others like True Blood. But yeah, three mostly – SPN early seasons, Gilmore Girls and Hellcheer, the latter two being the only ones on AO3. I got into writing later than most and also took a massive break. Hellcheer is my absolute 100% most favourite ever, in case no-one realised 🙃

C:  How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

I'm gonna just pick one, lemme see. "Those were days of roses" is a line from the Tom Waits song Martha, which I just adore – in it an elderly man contacts an old flame to see if she remembers him. The short little fic is just a chance meeting when Eddie and Chrissy are middle-aged and haven't seen each other in 20 years. I tried to imbue the sense of melancholy from the song into the fic, but gave them a little more hope, I think.

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic?

Uhm, sure, go for it! I don't think anyone would, I don't think any of it would particularly lend itself to it, but inspiration strikes from anywhere!

L:  Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

Most of my Hellcheer stuff is a bit of fun and not really emotionally taxing, I think. But my GG fic Not Time's Fool, maybe? I wrote the spaces between canon, so trying to see how Rory and Jess could move forward with those events took a bit of meditation on my part on why they would and how they could.

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

I don't know about identify, but there are some qualities in Eddie that feel like me. Or maybe that's just the Eddie I write – I probably write him lighter than canon tbh 😆 While I didn't stand on tables and act out so dramatically, I have always been someone who is a bit of a clown, who has a sarcastic comment or dumbass quip. Which fic shows that best? Fucked if I know. Maybe my New Girl fic, or Mary Jane?

(Also the sense of bottled up rage, or rage that simmers under the surface that Eddie has in some canon scenes. That's me too LMFAO)

Thanks for the ask, my love! If anyone else wants to read more waffle like this, check out the ask meme!

#the ask and the answer #ask meme

[anachronistic-falsehood]

Hi Weird Question, but how many followers would you ballpark say you have gotten from posting about qsmp?

I ask this because Ive been on tumblr for a LONG while, I have run multiple fandom blogs and this is the worst follow to notes ratio I have ever gotten for a blog (it is relativity new as well though). I don't want to sound weird and complain about the number of followers I have, but of the 523 posts in my blog, 38 are original posts. I have 236 notes total from those 38. and zero followers. compared to when one of my other blogs was at this size I would have somewhere of a ballpark of 10ish especially with a few posts chilling way above the average of 6 notes

I feel like this could be an issue much like the issue pertaining to people not reblogging stuff, but also I may need to reevaluate the way im interacting with people on this site >_<.

that's kind of a hard question bc i was gaining followers from the trigun fandom very shortly before i started posting about qsmp, so there was a period of overlap, but i guess when i switched to posting primarily about qsmp i would say i've gained approx. 350-400 followers. i typically get anywhere between 100-1000 notes on any qsmp post i make (excluding liveblogging) and i am apparently a more popular blog because i write fanfiction and make analysis posts on occasion which has made me weirdly well known in some places of the fandom and that is terrifying i hate being perceived HELP

ANYWAY i think a better blog to use as an example would be when i had to use a new blog because this one was unfairly flagged for a couple weeks. i used a previously unused sideblog to liveblog and make posts on since posts on my main wouldn't show up in the main tags. i typically got a fair amount of notes, anywhere between 50 to 200 on each post, but i only ended up with maybe 4 or 5 followers on that blog (excluding mutuals i had advised to follow that blog as a backup in case my main went down forever [which it didn't thank fuck]).

honestly?? i assume the lack of following is because a lot of people in this fandom are very wary. qsmpblr likes to hail itself as better than twitter (and it is in some respects for sure, i'm not denying that), but it feels like everyone in this fandom has some kind of Opinion on Something at all times. there's always something to complain about or criticize about anything, whether it be the admins, an event, another cc's character, a cc themself, etc etc. if you follow a person you will be subjected to all of their opinions on every single issue that pops up, even if it's just a dismissal of whatever current discourse is making its way through the tag (and i'm guilty of this myself sometimes, i'm no angel here). there is not a single day that goes by without something negative crossing my dash regarding something that's going on with the smp. doesn't matter what it is, someone will have something to say about some kind of issue no matter what, and that shit gets tiring. sometimes it's better not to follow people lest you find yourself bombarded with opinions. that way you can still scroll your dash without worrying about seeing untagged discourse and infighting and criticism.

#idk that's just. what i think i guess??? #i get tired seeing all the negativity on my dash sometimes #sometimes i just wanna scroll without being subjected to #“this character is being mean to my favourite character and i hate that cc is doing that” #“this character doesn't understand this character and the cc ALWAYS plays characters like that i think he's actually an asshole” #“you're ableist if you dislike this character” #it's just. there's always a fucking ISSUE with SOMETHING and it drives me up the wall #to the point where i have almost unfollowed people over it #qsmp

[missyourflight]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

ty @veryspecificfantasies and @love-leah for the tags 💕

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 40 counting a couple of anons

2. What's your total ao3 word count? 193,217

3. What fandoms do you write for? just f1 at the minute - i've signed up for yuletide this year (finally a chance to get unbanned lol) so it'll be nice to have a go at something else

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? So let's say, I'll come another day (1d ziam time traveller's wife au), tomorrow on every shore (maxiel below deck sailing yacht au), Somewhere in the heart of Rome (maxiel roman holiday au), let's explore your talent (BTS femmeslash tentacles in space), all creatures wild and tame (maxiel 🦑). 2 tentacle fics in the top 5 is so funny lol... my brand

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes i try to! at least for the first while after something's posted. i like the livejournal vibes of a comment thread

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i'd call them bittersweet endings rather than angsty endings but each part and grassy bits in between and Somewhere in the heart of Rome both end with the couple parting after a brief time together but like, hopefully with the sense that they found something meaningful in each other. and roman holiday kind of gets a happy ending later. kind of

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? tomorrow on every shore is probably the most uncomplicatedly happy in that they basically sail off into the sunset together. i think a lot of my fics end with like, the sense of relief or reconciliation of finding each other again, uniting your fantasy kingdoms, escaping a clone dystopia etc

8. Do you get hate on fics? not anywhere i can see it at least!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i saw someone say that they think of themselves as writer of erotica rather than romance, and as far as that's a useful distinction re: fanfic i would definitely fall on the Romance side of it (i have read so many romance novels lol).

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? not so much crossovers with like the two sets of characters together. i may have been known to write an AU or two in my time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? not published, but i had a wild time in like 2011 writing a deeply angsty and horny hal/hotspur boarding school au with a friend

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? maxiel to write, but you don't even want to see the number of pinboard bookmarks i have for merlin/arthur, ~gryles, arthur/eames, frank/gerard, stucky... it's just so many bookmarks. a ship in a smaller fandom that truly fucks me up is childermass/segundus from jonathan strange & mr norrell. bbc hot childermass you have So much to answer for

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? i don't have a lot of wips that i'm working on beyond like notes app until i start properly writing one up... i have like a maxiel omegaverse roleplay thing that i started that i don't think i can pull off the way i want to tragically

16. What are your writing strengths? hm humour? dialogue. concision. nicely turned sentences. longing and/or pining etc

17. What are your writing weaknesses? oh god. i write very slowly and all over the place and i can't sustain a plot or write anything very long. bad at sex scenes. pretty emotionally shallow. no original ideas only aus. thanks i hate it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i mostly find it jarring and i don't really do it

19. First fandom you wrote for? merlin 🧙‍♂️ it was an empire records au, obviously

20. Favorite fic you've written? each part and grassy bits in between is the most like nakedly personal. i still enjoy tomorrow on every shore a lot when i reread it. i'm so tender about clone max. i really loved the process of writing magnets, the pull of the moon but now that it's out i feel less good about it lol. it's like embarrassing to say but honestly when you work on something for months and it gets less ~engagement than something very silly you spent a day on it feels, let's say, disheartening. and there are like any number of reasons why something ~hits and something else doesn't - i myself, a hypocrite, have so many open tabs rn of things i loved and still need to comment on - and it makes me feel really small and mean and churlish to tell myself writing is something fun that i do for myself because i enjoy it and then turn around like, i didn't get enough compliments on that one actually (i'm a leo if you didn't know). and i did get some truly lovely comments i will treasure and i did what i wanted to do with that story and i loved writing it and i do think it's a good story even! just like the gap between your hopes and reality sometimes is deeply mortifying. like it's embarrassing that i was excited about it. it feels weirdly exposing even though nobody is ever thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself lol

#tag game #writing #sophposting

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Oh god I just finished Book 2 and it was so bad… I went into this with an open mind just like I did with Book 1 and god did I hate this. Clem just annoyed the hell out of me for the entire book. I liked everyone BUT her, Ricca and Morro. And I don’t even hate Morro she just showed up randomly to say weird ominous shit and then went to do her walker autopsies. Idk… it just sucked so hard. I miss Amos.

I've reread it and I'm working on my review so I won't go into a whole spiel but yeah. I mean, I still think I like Book Two over Book One... until we get to chapter 7. It has the same problem as Book One where the ending is just bad.

Clementine still feels out of character when you compare her to game Clementine, but she's consistent with Book One Clementine. I get what her character's supposed to be and why she's going through these things, why she approaches things the way she does but it makes it hard to enjoy when you have context from the games. I've already seen Clementine grow up and face hardships in the apocalypse, and the games have the advantage of showing all that across four games whereas this series only gets three books, so we don't have time to waste, y'know?

But Morro was the biggest wasted opportunity, like... what a disappointment. When I read it the first time, I was giving my first reactions in chat with Pi and we were both like, "So it's gonna be revealed that Morro's actually doing science experiments on walkers, right?" but no.... she's literally just doing autopsies like c'mon, walker science experiments and abominations would've been amazing!

And Ricca... honestly, I like the idea of Ricca because let's be real, a lot of us wear glasses or contacts or have some sort of vision impairment, myself included, and a zombie apocalypse would suck! If my glasses broke and I had no means of getting a new pair and it's the zombie apocalypse, I'm dead. And Book One set up this interesting story where Ricca's brother was an abuser who purposely broke her glasses so that she had no choice but to rely on him, then when she finally found pair that worked, she left him. But now her eyesight is worsening, and that's scary, that's something I could sympathize with...... but it's almost treated like an inconvenience? Because her and Clementine's relationship is the emotional drama that takes stage and frankly, I don't like clemricca. Not just because it's not clouis. I went into it with an open mind wanting to ship it but... meh.

I don't like how Ricca's like, "I'll wait for you," and then later she gets butthurt because Clementine won't get on the same level as her fast enough. Clementine doesn't owe Ricca anything, y'know? But Ricca is like "I love you, and I know you love me too, but I need you to love me always, not start and stop. It's not fair, you want me to wait for the impossible!?" Stop trying to guilt her when she's clearly not ready for a relationship? I get the frustration but c'mon.

And then there's chapter 9 which... I'm honestly this close to losing my shit with people. I don't think I've ever been as disappointed or disgusted of the fandom than I have seeing people send threats to Tillie on her instagram over chapter 9. She posted about how Book Two released AND she gave birth to her son on Oct 4th, and you go to the comments and there are just people calling her a pedophile and writing threats-

On a post. From Tillie. About the birth of her son. What the hell is wrong with you???

And then there are people just straight up LYING about shit.

I read a comment on reddit where someone compared Clementine Book Two to 50 Shades of Grey because there's an explicit sex scene and uhm NO??? There's absolutely nothing explicit, Ricca is not like Christian Grey like?? What the fuck is wrong with you? It's like these people read the summaries on the wiki- WHICH BY THE WAY if any of you happen to see this screenshot circulating anywhere-

^this is not a real quote, this is obviously fake.

Please don't mindlessly believe people on the internet about shit, especially when they themselves haven't actually read it.

Anyway, it's like people read the wiki summaries and decided to spread false and exaggerated information about the comic because they want to paint it in the worst light possible to trick people and it's working and I'm so...UGH.

Sorry to nosedive into this but it pisses me off. There's a lot to discuss about chapter 9- shit, there's a lot of criticism to be had with Book Two, and I will go over everything in my review, but for right now I'll just say yep, Book Two isn't very good.

I miss Amos, too.

#asks #twdg clementine #clementine book two #i'm so upset with the fandom on reddit and instagram #which is stupid because they're not worth it but my brain can't comprehend it like why are all of you like this? who hurt you? #also when i would going through reddit i found someone misquoting *me* which was the wildest thing? i don't have a reddit account sksksk #but then i happen to find a comment like 'she said this' and that's not what i said?? unreal i can't #i knew book two's release would bring a shit storm but oh my god at this point i hope tillie just kills clementine off in book three #as a final fuck you #i know she won't because clem's no use to skybound dead but it would be so fucking funny #i don't think anyone but me would find it funny though i think people would rage and ruin my fun #anyway in-depth review to come but feel free to send in asks about it

[benetnvsch]

!! INTRO POST !!

✧˖°.Kite /21 /any/all pronouns.°˖ ✧

✧ LGBTQ+ , Jewish, and Chinese- if have a problem with any of these, u can fuck off <3!

✧ Art , OCs, other reblogs of content I like , occasionally writing and editing - no queue so posts maybe be strangely timed cuz I have the worst sleep schedule. Often times vents/overshares in tags but those always have appropriate labels/warning tags before

✧ Generally sfw content though may reblog/make some nsfw jokes. I do not post nsfw art here but any art even vaguely suggestive will be tagged as such for ppl to filter if they like. NSFW accounts DO NOT FOLLOW or I will block you

✧ Current Main Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs, ( Kunikida(zai) especially !!)

✧ Other fandoms: FGO, Genshin Impact, YGO Zexal, CCS/covey stuff, Shotgun boy + Sweet home, Haikyuu

✧ Carrd: https://benetnvsch.crd.co

✧ Other socials are linked in my carrd but should be benetnvsch anywhere I do have one (most active on here and twitter!!)

✧ Follow, unfollow, block free always !! even if we are close mutuals, if my content ever bothers u or you just don't vibe with me anymore feel free to break mutuals and/or block me ! in the nicest way idc! curate ur own experience !!

✧ Requests, comms, and inbox are (almost) always open if you ever want to send me anything <3!! I do have social anxiety but I love talking to people and making new friends :> !!

✧ Mutuals are allowed to ask for my genshin, FGO, or BSD Mayoi accounts to add me there <3 !!

✧ Art specific tag is 'Kite Draws' and most other personal tags for original content/nonreblogs follows that format such as Kite Edits, Kite Watches/Reads/Plays [x]

✧ Please do not follow me if you are a pr0shipper or (specific to the BSD fandom) an 0dazai, M0rizai, or Fvkuran shipper. I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable with any of these due to past experiences/traumas and if I see ur any of these you will be removed as a follower and/or blocked ;;

✧ I block VERY liberally and for often silly reasons- pls don’t take it personally but pls don't try and block evade. if u wish to know why I blocked you feel free to dm ig but don't try and follow/interact else wise or I will explode u

✧ Please do NOT repost my art unless you're going to use it in some way (header, icon, edits, etc.) and even then I would appreciate credit. Do NOT repost it just as an image or complimentary image to a separate post/idea

#yippeee kite lore #the last things are censored just 2 b respectful so they don't show up in search for them but also not to show in association w/my name aaa #sorry if they mess with any screen readers- if anyone can't figure them out feel free to dm me and ill message you them properly <33

[echo-bleu]

Rant time (feel free to ignore)

Fandom capitalism is hell and I hate my own relationship to it especially.

I barely ever use this space to blog, because I don't fucking know how to blog tbh, and because my unhealthy conflict avoidance makes me scared to say anything ever, but sometimes I wake up sick and in a mood the day after being excited about things and, well, ugh.

I feel like I'm forever stuck between trying to do the things (art mostly) that is going to be popular and fun to other people and wanting to do my own obscure stuff but being too scared/embarrassed/prideful to actually do it. I fail at the popular stuff because I don't want to be drawing memes or things that aren't going to be fun to me, but I still want, like, the praise or something.

Every so often I tell myself I'm going to get my shit together and actually try to earn some kind of money from my art, but I think that would actually kill my mental health. Because even in fandom where I'm doing it all for free, I end up hating it. Everything is about engagement and self promotion (seriously, how many of your discord servers have channels named "self promo"?). When did sharing art/fic become self-promoting? We can rant all we want about the likes/reblog ratio and all that, but it's not the root of the problem here.

And yes, I still want it. I still want the attention, I still want people to like my art, and I end up drawing things I barely enjoy in (failed) hopes of attracting it. The truth is, I'm really bad at interacting with people and making friends, so my main way of being in fandom is throwing stuff I make out to all of you and hope that something might come back to me, and when nothing does, it hurts.

I want to be shameless on this blog and actually discuss things with people and post my random thoughts and ramble about my writing/art, but then I just get scared of discourse and purity culture and all that shit and I'm just tired.

Yeah, not going anywhere with this, just tired.

(To be clear: this isn't about something in particular, just thoughts percolating in my head on a bad morning)

#no intelligent thought here just me being tired and ranty #echo's rambling

[burningtacozombie]

I need to vent

for the most part I like exploring new fandoms, meeting new people with the same interests, and just have a fun time. but every fandom has that one faction. that one group of people you mention to others and everyone instantly starts rolling their eyes. that group of people who, for whatever reason, seems to have completely lost touch with reality. they are happy among themselves but no one in the larger scale of the fandom as a whole wants anything to do with them, and for good reason. and here is what I have witnessed the last 3 days, the reason I need to vent before I pick up boxing gloves and buy a plane ticket:

it started when Dan went on The Voice Ukraine as a coach in 2019. the producers of the show thought it would be good for ratings if he and Tina, the only woman among the coaches in his first season, played it like they were a couple. or more like, becoming one over the course of that season. they didn't have much of a choice in the matter so they did, and well… the producer was right, it was good for ratings. people started shipping them, worshipping them actually, as if the two as a couple are some godlike deity. they've been doing it ever since.

and while Dan and Tina did become close friends, having to deal with the utter madness of it all together, he explicitly explained that it was the producer's idea in the first place. over the course of two seasons they did two duets together, interviews and a bunch of performances and they, still today, talk about how close they are BUT they never confirmed an actual relationship. for all we know, they've never been together to begin with. but these worshippers don't want to hear it. these "fans" act like a straight up cult, celebrating the "couple's birthday" with cake and parties, at separate concerts they give Dan and Tina gifts that they want them to pass on to each other, they write fanfics about them (I'm sorry, fanfics about real people generally creep me out) and create fake images and videos with AI of the two with babies and whatnot. and anyone who says anything against the couple is evil. I'm serious, it's a cult at this point. there are literally hundreds of accounts on social media with AI pictures like this: and that's a harmless one…

cut to the Christmas concert: his pr manager brought a female plus one to the show who's an influencer on social media or something. that woman happened to be sitting next to Dan on the couch in his dressing room after the show, in a video he posted himself. his band, his mom, his also female pr manager, his opening acts were all there too but for whatever reason, 3 days ago people found her personal account on instagram and started insulting her for sitting next to him!!! these people started assuming he's in a relationship with this woman out of fucking nowhere and now they're dragging all three of them. her for breaking up a couple that for all we know never even existed, Tina for "letting it happen" and Dan for "allowing himself to do that". they're taking it personal as if someone killed their dog, they're so fucking offended… and all of that because SOME WOMAN SAT NEXT TO HIM!!

worshippers within this cult are sending messages to "regular" fans to get them to discuss the situation, they are literally mourning the death of the couple and the wording in this one screenshot alone has me at a loss for words. like… oh my god the man sat next to a woman who is not Tina, the audacity! (translation isn't perfect but it gets the point across)

they also demand all three of them make a statement because the fans deserve to know what's going on! with the exception of clarifying the show producer's ratings idea, Dan NEVER ONCE made any statement about his current love life, not 20 years ago, not anywhere in between. I'm not even getting into how incredibly invasive it has been for him and Tina and their private lives all these years but the insanity has reached a whole new level over the last few days and it is fucking infuriating.

these people are so obsessed in a straight up disturbing way, I'm not joking when I say they're insane. and I feel so horrible for Dan and Tina and this random woman who just happened to be there. none of them deserve any of that bullshit, recent or otherwise.

there is so much more to say but this rant did exactly what it was supposed to, I'm calming down. for the moment anyway.

#i'm not even tagging this but #people suck #ai sucks #fandom sucks