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straawberries · 3 months

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gonna make another post since that usually helps with reach

teehee poll for reach. please read the rest of this if you can

HI IM DELILAH AND IVE GOT LESS THAN 4 MONTHS BEFORE IM HOMELESS WITH NO OPTIONS FOR PLACES TO LIVE

heeyyy its me delilah. im an autistic plural trans girl with ptsd, and im living in an abusive household with my adoptive "father" that absolutely hates me. in less than 4 months, i am going to be kicked out, and i am trying to raise the money i need to survive this event.

ive been trying, pretty much every chance i get, to get a job, but i think because of this shitty small town in texas, everyone already knows who i am and nobody wants to hire me. this means i have to rely on stuff like this.

by JUNE 1ST 2024, i need to make enough money to move out, or else... well, i dont really know what will happen to me (other than vague "homelessness"), but im really scared that it wont end well.

on top of that im rarely being fed enough which is seriously fucking with my mood and making me feel like shit, so im having to balance saving and eating which.. with the money im currently getting, is not very sustainable. other than a few people giving a lot (who i am eternally thankful for and if youre able to do this i would basically do anything for you) im basically getting zero donations.

i get that this kind of stuff is annoying and maybe a bit slow, but just taking a few seconds, maybe a minute or two at most, to give me a small amount of money, would be a hell of a lot more helpful than doing nothing.

C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga

P*YP*L - @delilahkill

plenty of people use stuff like this to scam, so heres some info about me if you doubt that this is true. (copy pasted from previous post)

i have a really big love for performing, i fell in love with theatre years ago and performed the addams family musical as fester about a month ago as my biggest role on stage yet, and right now im in the process of getting ready for antigone as teiresius. i love music, and its one of my life goals to learn as many instruments as possible, and currently i own quite a few, though my favorites are my two ukuleles and my super cool electric guitar. i have 8 partners at the moment, and i have a very big desire to one day live with as many of them as i can. i pride myself on being the best partner i can be, and its been my goal to make all my partner's lives better (and i think ive been doing a good job at it :3)

i love cats an extreme amount, ive never had a cat myself (because my dad is insane and hates cats and tries to hit cats with his truck) but being around cats makes me super happy and always makes my anxieties go away, even when im having an anxiety attack or a panic attack. i really hope i can get a few cats one day, and i want to give them all silly food names :) my fursona is kind of a reflection of that, her name is bagel. some cat names ive thought of are mochi, chili, Supreme Pizza, or maybe french fry :)

im not sure if ill be able to achieve any of my goals if i dont get the financial support i need. ive been.. really close to giving up recently, but i dont want to have to do that, so im going to fight like this for as long as i can.

#undertale #pixel art #performing art #trans #autistic #actually autistic #urgent #help needed #please boost #mutual aid

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neighborlystudios · 5 months

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Hi hi!

I saw you had written a bit for cp lh!rayman so if it's okay and if you're accepting requests, could you possibly do rayman flustering the reader in his suave tv host way?

・﹒・ suave host

Summary: You were at a party for Eden's most elite, only there due to your friend. It was for Rayman, but parties never were your thing, so you opted for sitting away from everyone. The host seemed to have found you and taken interest in you.

Warnings: 18+, suggestive comments

Notes: Hey! Thanks sm for the request! Sorry this took a while to get to! Im sorry if this was really short, I hope you enjoy regardless though! :D

It was a party for the elite, those high in Eden's ecosystem that were rich, you were only here because your friend knew one of the producers of the Eden Late Show with Rayman. In fact, he was here right now, as this was his party for reaching his 30th season. You haven't seen him yet though, opting to stay towards the quieter areas of the roof as social interaction was not your forte. You had wanted to meet him for so many years now, but anxiety did not want to. Were you ready to accept the fact that you were not as boisterous as him or as cute as him, or well...as popular and rich as him.

Dressed all nice, you looked down at Eden from the secluded part pf the balcony you picked swishing a wine glass full of water imagining it as the namesake. You chose not to drink any alcohol and if you did, it wouldn't make your first impression any better if you did manage to meet him. Meeting all these people above your social status only made your anxiety grow, feeling like one wrong word would make them blacklist you from any jobs and ruin your life. Setting the glass down, you stood up and walked to the glass railing, leaning on it and crossing your arms.

It's not like you hate Eden, far from it, you just wished that you could be successful like all these people here, to be able to have that financial security and to be able to positively impact others. That's why you loved Rayman so much, just by hearing his voice made you happy and comforted knowing that he was here to give hope to everyone.

"You're looking lonely there" That same voice cut through your thoughts and caused you to look back in surprise. Eyes wide, you looked in shock as the Rayman walked closer to you with his trademark smile. Why was he here and not where the main party is? You realized you didn't say anything and was just staring. Coughing, you choked up a reply and hope you didn't look like a total idiot.

"Well uh...these types of parties aren't really my thing hah..." awkwardly chuckling as you cringed, yeah that was bad. He didn't seem detoured though as he only walked closer and stopped when he was right beside you. You knew he was short, but being right next to him really hit you for the height difference between you both.

"Why are you here then? Wanted to see handsom old me?" He winked, causing your face to warm as you stutter out denials, he wasn't convinced naturally. Honestly, that's one of the reasons you went, but it was embarrassing to admit, especially to the man himself. He chuckled and pulled a chair from nearby, up to the railing, pulling himself up and standing on it so he was eye level with you. You cracked a smile and laughed, he looked like a toddler doing that.

"What's so funny huh? You won't be laughing when I-" he then leaned closer, surprising you as his mouth was right next to your ear.

"Show you a good time" and you were dead. Face now on fire, you clamped a hand over your mouth as he pulled away, face painted with a smug smile. Was he actually flirting with you right now?

"Awe, so shy, its adorable. You gone mute...hm...I might know a way to make you talk" He knew exactly what buttons to press to make you melt, causing you to grip onto the railing to prevent you from falling as your breathing quickened.

"I am the most powerful man in Eden after all...imagine...having everything you could ever wanted and more...So. Much. More." Anymore of this and you would collapse, not knowing how to respond or what to even do. It didn't help that his hand started to caress your thigh, only increasing his advances. Never in your entire life would you believe for a second that THE Rayman would hit on you, yet here you were, him hitting on you. The moment didn't last though, as someone came out and called out to Rayman that a journalist wanted to do an interview on him. Pulling away, he said one last thing before leaving.

"This isn't over. Meet me here in the lobby tomorrow, seven pm sharp" and he was gone. Once he was out of sight, you fell to the floor and was left to process what had just happened.

#rayman #rayman x reader #cl rayman #captian laserhawk #rayman origins #rayman legends

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cowboyjen68 · 3 months

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hi jen! i've know im a lesbian since I was 12, but because of my problems with socializing i've never actually had ANY romantic interactions(my lesbianism making things even harder, as you can imagine)

i'm almost out of high school and going to college, so i'm feeling very down about missing out on teen romance but dont want the same thing to happen again. do you have any tips on what i can do to avoid this problem in the future? i am genuinely clueless on what to do when looking for a partner, really

even if you dont actually have any advice to give i still really love your blog, it reminds me that lesbians can actually grow old and live happy lives💖💖thank you for hearing me out and i apologize for any grammar mistake!!

This is pretty easy because, while it was pretty outgoing and friendly, it was often not as my full self. I kept my horse girl, lesbian, butch and weird music and hobby side of myself under wraps from most of my friends. I had no word for lesbian or butch but my high school best friend knew I probably liked girls, we just never discussed it and it didn't bother her. It might have been harder on our friendship had I tried to come out in the 80's, not because it bothered her but the insinuations of all the others about our relationship would have been A LOT for a high schooler.

I waited until after college graduation and I used to sometimes look back and wonder how many times I missed out kissing a girl in high school or other women in college. How had twinges of regret for not having sex or even attempting intimacy with women.( I mostly avoided boys too because ew)

As I was sitting in a miserable passionless marriage to my wife of 17years, I pined for that passion and tingle that i had with my first girlfriend from ages 23 to 30. How many times did I miss that feeling with girls in my high school or college or at summer jobs because I was unsure of myself and not confident that any woman would find me attractive. I was even unsure if loving a woman was something I could do. Was it a real thing?

Looking back now I realize I just was not ready and most of my young friends in high school were not ready for me to be out and opening attracted to the same sex. I had fun in high school, made friends and had a small group of girls I was very close to. I enjoyed those friendships perhaps because I did not come out and cause those bonds to be strained.

In college I was concerned how my parents would react and I was in no way independent from their financial and emotional support. My friends were all around me experimenting with their sexuality and I was watching from outside, really wanting what they had but not willing to give up my security and college education to be open about being a lesbian. I knew I could just "do it and hide it" but I was not built for the stealthy life. I know if i was loving loving women it would be hard to be quiet.

Here is the point I am getting at with the sharing of all these experiences. If you were not ready to act on dating and attempting to date it is probably good that you listened to yourself. We are not on a time line and many young people feel pressured to date when their confidence, sexual maturity and social skills are not ready yet which can lead them to be vulnerable to abusive, controlling or unhealthy relationships. It is hard to listen to your own intuition and set and keep boundaries when you are trying to date just to not be the only one not dating.

What you more likely missed out on was not the thrill of dating but the hassle of pretending you want to date when it didn't feel right, at all.

You are heading to college. You are now becoming interested in the excitement of dating on your own and not because others think you need to date. You are craving the touch, the tingly feeling and the companionship of women. These are all good signs you are ready to date.

My advice:

1.Be honest with yourself and then her (your date) every time. Do not go on date number two if it does not feel right. If you are unsure go on another date but continue to listen to yourself.

2.You deserve passion and mutual excitement to be in the company of a woman. If one of you do not feel it, move on.

3.Do not stick to a relationship because it is "ok" or she is "nice" . You have the right to sexual, emotional and intellectual stimulation. Look for it and don't settle.

4.There will be other women so don't cling to the first one or the one willing to stick around just because she is there. If you don't feel all the afore mentioned excitement, be honest with yourself and her and move on.

5. Dating a woman with whom you share many wonderful moments and lots of joy does not mean you will be together forever or have that expectation. Short term love is a thing and neither of you are failures when that fades out.

6. Ask her. If you see a woman that interests you be clear that you would like to take her on a date and you have romantic interests. Don't be vague or try to use hints. This leads to miscommunications and false expectation every time.

7. Finally, use all the dating and flirting and breakups and heartbreaks and joy and fun and memories to form who and what you are looking for as a partner. All that experience is giving you a better idea on what makes you truly happy.

You missed out on nothing. The adventure is just beginning and it can start with a simple "Hi, I think you are cute. Would you be willing to go on a date with me?" She might say "no", but she MIGHT say "yes".

#lesbian #dating #college #fomo

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fuck-customers · 4 months

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My coworker keeps asking me for parenting advice and its driving me up the wall. I dont have kids and im still in my early 20’s so im not even financially ready to even think about that yet. She also throws a fit whenever i give her my opinion.

“Should i buy my 8 yr old skin care products?” Uh i dont think 8 yr olds need that but if u want to its ur own kid “omg are you calling me a horrible mother?!?!!”

“So my kid is bullying people at school what should i do” uh maybe ground them and make them apologize to the kids they were bullying? “Omg youre such a monster why are you so mean to me about what i do with my kid?!”

“My kid has strep should i keep them home from school” yes absolutely “omg you think i can just let my child miss education like that?!?? Im not a bad mom why are you saying that?!?”

I want to stop talking to her all together but i cant unless she quits

Posted by admin Rodney.

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yuri-for-businesswomen · 7 months

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if i tell you you are not ready for this interview.

my translation. my commentary is highlighted.

interviewee: ilan stephani who has her own website describing her as a “best selling author”. she worked as a prostitute for 2 years in a brothel and successfully finished her college education. she is a “body coach” now.

„Men are doing terrible sexually”

Ilan Stephani worked in a Berlin brothel for two years. She describes her experiences in her new book.

Miss Stephani, you walked to the prostitution organization Hydra with some friends for a consultation: You wanted to become a prostitute. What did you hope for with this profession?

IS: I didn’t want to become a boring college student. I wanted intense contact. I didn’t have good experiences: My first boyfriend cheated on me with such self-confidence it made me feel the question of power in sex. I wanted to gain social and sexual sovereignty. As a daughter from a good home, I learned how to fluently deal with different people. Those are qualities that were suddenly honored in prostitution. That totally flashed me.

she was emotionally traumatized from her cheating ex-partner and thought prostitution was a fun new adventure. this gave her some wicked sense of control. you can hear the classism from this privileged and educated woman when she calls herself a “daughter from a good home”. off to a good start.

Is that a hunger for life?

IS: Yes. And this is the thing for all men who go to a brothel: I’m hungry for life. And they think a man needs sex for that, which is of course bullshit. Men just learn that they have to experience life like this now. But contact with a smiling person is what enlivens us.

yes girl im sure these men come to you for your smile and because they are “hungry for life” and not because they want to get off in a woman. be for real.

Even though it’s a paid and fake smile?

IS: Yes, people can ignore that really easily.

she admits here that sex buyers know any joy and enthusiasm is fake and simply ignore it to proceed with sex acts. and yet she feels sorry for them.

And that you have sex with men who you don’t desire at all, that didn’t make you hesitate?

IS: It did. But you often have sex in a loving relationship without loving or wanting the other in that moment. That’s more about a feeling of obligation. There is a smaller difference to prostitution than you think. I’ve been working as a body therapist with women for seven years, and they all basically did for free what I was paid for. I had already experimented with anonymous sex. I went to a swinger club and already knew this normalcy and openness. And I was excited for this new social challenge.

so the two options for women are to have sex out of obligation or for payment? girl. also you are generally attracted to your partner, just don't want sex sometimes. in a healthy relationship you would not feel obligated. this was an experiment to her – she is making a mockery out of women who are in prostitution out of financial necessity. i wish she had just stuck to anonymous sex in swinger clubs.

What social challenge do you mean?

IS: All this performance art: For example, you take the money very discreetly, so nobody realizes that a payment has been made. I play that I have to moan exactly now and at the same time I take care that the towel doesn’t move from underneath me. And randomly, after half an hour, our wonderful encounter takes a natural end – and maybe the people also told me some secrets. They talk to prostitutes as if we signed a non-disclosure agreement. I had control the whole time. And usually, the world does not wait for little female students. But these men waited for me.

very normal for a supposed service to pay secretly to keep up an illusion of not actually being a service. it’s true, playing sexual pleasure is a challenge. not something that should be expected of women but okay i guess we’re admitting that prostitution is reproducing misogyny. the last two sentences make it very obvious that her self-esteem is completely dependent on men. another thing i noticed is that she says “people” when in the rest she talks about men. this is a common tactic to obfuscate the reality that prostitution is mostly women serving men.

You worked in a small, female-led brothel, with excellent working conditions. Still: You told the boys they are amazing at satisfying women, even when many can’t really. If I’m being strict here, you supported phallic culture.

calling sex buyers “boys”. nice infantilization to make them seem harmless. otherwise good question that makes it clear that prostitution is inherently anti-feminist.

IS: Yes. Prostitution stabilizes this culture. But as a prostitute, I don’t participate in the patriarchal elevation of the erection. Men fail in phallic culture, that is their problem. They are supposed to have an erect penis, and then it’s flaccid. What do you think, how nervous they often are, when they think they have to bring it now. I hear: “Please release me from the pressure to have to meet these standards.” And I say: “It doesn’t matter whether you have an erection or not. It’s not important. You are alright.” But of course in the end you are right: Women have always validated men under patriarchy and made them feel good.

“yes prostitution supports the patriarchy but -” not interested in what you have to say. take the L. the way she extends so much empathy to sex buyers. i guarantee you they don’t give a fuck and don't think about women and especially prostituted women any further than how fuckable we are. way to reproduce traditional gender roles: the woman as caring, empathetic, taking men’s feelings into account and defending them whatever they do. women telling men they are good enough when they really aren’t. women putting their own desires aside to help and teach men. and yet they will go home and still not know how to satisfy a woman because they pay you to lie to them. but hey she is sooooo self-aware.

That didn’t bother you?

IS: Little. I felt sorry for them. Men are doing terrible sexually in this society. Worse than women, because unlike women they don’t know what they lack. If cumming in women who pretend for them is the highlight of their sex life – how sad is that? The brothel is just one symptom of this poor sex we have.

men are doing so terribly sexually that they can legally buy sex. what is this woman on. this is almost bordering on men’s rights activism. poor men who have orgasms all the time while women have to pretend. maybe the sex wouldn’t be “poor” if men didn’t see women as a means to an end, their own orgasm. but sure you can frame it like her i guess.

What is poor sex – and what is rich sex?

IS: The poverty is that we desperately yearn to touch each other and make each other happy. And we don’t succeed. Women fake orgasms, that is not just a funny topic for the boulevard press. That is a failed communication every time. And men say: The things you like are so boring they make me fall asleep, I need something better. There are so many false expectations. The penis has to enter the vagina, that is such a strict idea about sexuality. And all this in a romantic relationship between two people. Hollywood and the porn industry have commercialized this. And these false pictures cause sexual abuse, sexual trauma for women. And that’s all the fault of the sex we have.

wow, they managed to talk about poverty – but not the impoverished women who are the majority in prostitution and don’t have the privilege to make intellectual considerations about poor little sex buyer meow meows because they have to deal with the abuse. men yearn to make women happy? i have to laugh. and prostitution is helping here how? by teaching men healthy boundaries and communication? again, i have to laugh. she extends no empathy to women or these men’s partners, only to the men who probably cheated on them with her – most sex buyers are not single. and “the penis has to enter the vagina” is literally 90% of prostitution. again, what is she on. so hollywood and the porn industry are evil but prostitution is not? god, please let brains fall from the sky. some people need them.

Now you could say: Kismet [destiny], our sex has become like this, now we have to work through it. You think something else is possible. What would that be?

IS: Good sex has to be freed from definitions that stress us. Thoughts like “sex is only good with an erection”, that’s stressful. We don’t know how to protect our sexuality from these definitions. For example, I discovered slow sex. We laid together for hours, a relaxed and unerected penis in a relaxed vagina. Nothing happened for a long time – except my leg went numb and my boyfriend’s back hurt. But after a few tries, something happened, and it was better than anything we ever experienced. We sensitized our genitalia again. I had my first vaginal orgasm. Yes, dear previous sex partners, the first!

not her talking about “protecting our sexuality”. i don’t even know what to say anymore. prostitution is all about penetration and defining sex to make it a service. she experiments with her partner but sex buyers can’t do that? and she proudly proclaims that none of her sexual partners had made her cum before (at least vaginally). this is such a mess. and now this banger:

Was that the point where you exited prostitution?

IS: Yes. I got bored before that though. And then I went to a workshop, where a group of women was supposed to find our G spot. I was pretty numb vaginally. At first it was funny because we were fingering around in each other with latex gloves, at some point your fingers start to cramp. Well, in the end we found it, and it was such a fluent and ecstatic experience! After that I stayed in the brothel for three weeks. And then I opened my eyes one day and thought: I’m not going there anymore. I was finished with it.

she never even experienced an orgasm before entering prostitution... literally completely unexperienced. and when she realized she could actually feel pleasure and wasn’t merely there to satisfy men she used her privilege to exit prostitution. and because she got “bored”. again, this is a fucking mess. and now she is some sort of body therapist for other women and profits from having been prostituted because everyone fucking loves these stories no matter what the background is. these narratives are extremely harmful to marginalized women in prostitution and play right into men’s hands. why are we not talking more about how a vaginally numb and sexually repressed woman whose partners never bothered enough to make her orgasm entered prostitution and how this is not a good thing? i fucking hate this newspaper because they are so uncritical.

Your bad experiences did not play a role?

IS: Not directly. I only realized later on that prostitution traumatized me. I had one customer who violently had sex with me. He was a smart sadist. A polite, friendly man. But then suddenly he just did what he wanted, touched me brutally and fucked me violently. He didn’t want consent. It was rape, even though it was not rape legally, because I did not say no. He showed me how I’m not able to set boundaries, because I was not prepared for something like this. I think that no woman is prepared for that because we are raised to be these smiling, nice girls.

how is she so aware but so wilfully ignorant at the same time. the cognitive dissonance is insane.

The infamous “she didn’t defend herself”.

IS: Yes. I work a lot with women who say: No, that was not rape, it was in my relationship and I didn’t say no. And I know exactly why she didn’t say no.

Why?

IS: Because we are the smiling girls. Because we are cuter when we cry silently than when we are angry. Our instinct that could prevent traumatization is repressed. The protective instinct: Set boundaries, say no, defend your boundaries. And there is no Yes if you are not able to say No. If we taught girls to say no, before we teach them to wear G-strings, we would reach sexual paradise. Because men would have to progress.

no words.

Don’t we try already?

Do we? I see women who are extremely scared. They’re scared that they won’t have sex anymore if they say no. That the man leaves. And they think, their only turn-on is to be “fucked hard”, to be a vessel. Women don’t know their own strength. Women’s bodies are not inferior to men’s bodies. That is a patriarchal lie. I’m pro sexual feminism. And that’s why I don’t work in prostitution anymore. I can do a lot better things with my sexual power than to say: “I’m your vessel today”.

the only thing that i can get behind in this whole mess. she is not even wrong about some things but the way she frames everything completely releases men from any accountability and she doesn't attack the system prostitution at all, she says the brothel is a symptom of boring sex and not like, woman-hate. and these are the voices that are the loudest in the german debate on prostitution.

#i will do more of these to show what narratives are dominating the german debate #and thereby influence legislation #anti prostitution #germany

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margarine-archives · 1 year

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financier cookie with a dead s/o now go wild

A Dead S/O with: Financier Cookie !

notes: OH MY GOD. I HAD to do this request first (quite biased im afraid). Other requests will be delayed so I apologize for that (exams are tomorrow, and I have pending school work to do-)

- due to the trauma, financier would be more overprotective. The consul, the elders, everyone that matters to her in general. She needed you, she tried her best to protect you with the divine light, and yet you still dissappeared, right in front of her very eyes. She can't let that happen a second time, she WON'T let it happen again

- she's supposed to protect you, to make sure you're still with her until the very end. Did she not try hard enough ? Would she even call herself a good paladin if she failed to protect the one cookie that kept her high and strong ? If she couldn't protect you, what would that say about her, about her promise to you ?

- she wanted it to be a dream, she wanted that day to simply be her delusion, her lack of sleep getting into her head. Yet, when she held you so close to her, hands gripping onto yours tightly, is when reality finally struck to her. You were gonna dissappear, and yet she couldn't even prevent that. What kind of paladin is she ?

- she didn't know when, but to hear you coo at her softly as she sobbed her heart out to you made her sob even harder. She wanted to be strong at this very moment, she wanted to carry on the battle and avenge you ! But why did she feel so weak ? so fragile to seeing you in such a state

- she knew you'd want to die without regrets, and so she tried her very best to put up a brave face for you, to tell you that you can finally rest, my love, my light. It took you aback for a second despite the pain, she never called you by any nickname to begin with, it was always you, and you were fine with that. To hear her say two in your final moments made your heart feel warm (despite being in a painful condition)

- with your eyes sealing shut with a kiss on the lips, pulling her closer, you had drifted off to a place farther from the living. Financier cookie is left there with your lifeless body inside an eerie dungeon, her lips still lingering from yours. Despite her mind telling her that she's ready to fight on, her heart, who's light had dimmed out, asked for more of your touch, even if you may never respond back to her

- in the moment after battle did she finally let loose, what seemed like eternal to bottle up finally broke. No one could potentially hear her, as everyone had evacuated the dungeon, maybe it was finally time to be selfish and let her emotions out.

- the consul found his bodyguard, down to her knees with two lifeless bodies, one being yours that she holds close to her aching heart.

- clotted cream felt pity and sadness to seeing the brightest light in her darkest moments. To see her, to hear how affected she is made him sad aswell, yet he knows not to interfere in such a vulnerable moment, and to leave her alone for awhile, telling the elders that he will take care of her

- she prays to the divine light more often, everyday, praying for the impossible, praying for you to one day return, to tell her that everything was simply a delusion.

- she constantly wonders what she did to deserve this outcome, and many things she could've done to prevent it from happening. She is loyal to the divine light, she follows orders from the republic, she even listens to you ! So what sin could she have done ? how can she atone for the mistakes she possibly made ?

- financier wouldn't want to love someone anymore after your passing, she believes that the same thing would happen again if she did, and she didn't want to relive the events that occured from that day. She focuses more on training, on work, and because of the fact she had lost you, she had went back to her old neglectful habits (except it only got worse as more time passed)

- ever since your death, financier has gotten much less sleep than usual, constantly training until her body was about to crumble any moment. She couldn't let herself get any rest, she must train harder, she has to

- who knows what might happen again if she even takes a minute break. Who knows what innocent lives may be taken away this time because of her lack of skill

- she swore to the light that she'd protect you, now that she's failed what she had promised for she'd be more hard on herself, constantly belittling herself time and time again.

- it seems she can just never recover from you, maybe she will, a decade and a half at best. You've changed her life so much, and now you're taken away from her so early.

- you were even planning to propose to her.. She broke down for another time once she saw the ring

#cookie run kingdom x reader #crk x reader #cookie run x reader #financier cookie x reader #financier cookie

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fluoresensitive · 3 months

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hey im a wheelie chair user n often bedbound like tonight, seeing yours and bri babyfairy’s posts on my dash abt disability and allyship yall show it is very heartwarming. I try to do a lot in my local community as able so that the allyship and appreciation for the care is known intra-community. Sorry i don’t have a lot of it on my blog bc of opspec and bc of my POA situtuaon w a family member and how it relates to ssdi I don’t have a way to financially show comradery across the country via the internet. But if it’s not too weird to share, I wanted to let y’all know that I am filled w so much love and care when I see posts like that from ppl who Get It. So thank you so much :-) I hope nothing but good and likewise kind things will come ur way!!!! Xoxoxox

Mwah mwah! Disability solidarity!!! Not quite ready to use mobility aids just yet but soon probs!! I just! Hate to see the total lack of care people have for physically Disabled people!

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edgingtanja · 10 months

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The End

My blog of edgingtanja is coming to an end. At least temporarily, but maybe permanently.

I’ve experienced many amazing things here and met amazing people. I come from a place of severe self doubt, depression, anxiety, and other mental baggage. In LGBTQIA+ I identified as the „A“, asexual. But I was shown I have a sexuality in me which is worth living. I think edgingtanja has experienced on Tumblr what can be experienced here. It is now time to go home and go back into the real world, put the phones down. And it’s time to say Good-Bye.

I’ve learned you can pause secondary blogs or set them to private/invisible. This is not possible with main blogs, and this is my main and only one. So that is not an option.

I’m close to 1800 followers and I know some came to like me. My content reaches 5 years back. I’m not decided yet if I should delete it all and move on with my life. That decision will come with time. I don’t want to rush it now, as I’m not in a stable place right now.

Maybe I’ll keep it online, but without new content. Just to have my stream of updates to see what YOU are doing. Since I came to like some of you 1800… I would miss that. You can write to me, while the blog is still here. Don’t expect an answer, but you can always hope for one. Do not ask me why the sudden change. This I won’t answer, just as much as this, you don’t know how panic attacks and anxiety work.

I’m not planning to continue to write or journal here. If you are new, start at the past, the oldest post and work your way to the present day, otherwise my mess will not make any sense.

My old „pinned post“ or „about me“ will remain below, in a shortened form. For now. Maybe I should just move on and close the account already. Maybe I wait. Maybe I will be back sometime in the future. My blog was silent for months or even a year before as well. It’s a decision I’m not going to rush.

I got the email that my data is ready for download.

So this blog was about healing traumata. I wrote in my 2018 post my goal was to overcome sexual disinterest and disfunction and try to heal my mental and anxiety issues.

So did it work? Was it worth it?

It’s a partial success at best, but it is a success. I would not want to miss the journey I had experienced in the last 5 years. There have been major downs. The death of my father, a pandemic, the death of my boss, anxiety for job loss, financial insecurity, anxiety for my elderly mother of whom I’m the caretaker. Anxiety for x and anxiety for y. And now I end my blog here because of anxiety issues. Because I cry too much. I accept that this, I could not heal.

I still say it is a success because a very dear friend of mine showed me I’m not as sexually dysfunctional as I believed. My self worth is not below zero anymore. I’m not the frigid stick figure. I can get wet, on my own, with no lube. It’s on my ex when I can’t orgasm with him, not me being broken. I can scream when edging. I’m not dead inside. Thank you, thank you so much.

Any yet, it’s time to go, take a step back, and … I don’t know yet. But here, I can not continue as before. I need to stop soon, as I feel the tears are coming again.

My loves goes out, in no particular order (I’m not in the capacity to sort you now in any meaningful way!) to

@gooncaps69 @dommeana @deniedpet @alwaysopposites @duca-etereo @curiousonick76 @kokos201 @omgjustaperv @z--z--z-z @lynngoons and many I forgot here. Forgive me.

Stepping back from the internet and back to my normal life.

Update: would I have installed the tumbler app if I’d known it would make me cry and weep? Yes, anytime every time. I feel more alive than before.

Update2: I lied about my age. It was sitting the first years at 39. Then 41. The real me is 50, im scared of aging, I’m sorry if this disillusioned you, or if you think I should be more stable or grown up by now. The sun is coming back up, I’ll wipe my eyes and have a coffee outside in the warm rays.

I love you all, Tanja

The old, shortened „about me“ post, copy pasted.

So hi, I’m Tanja, or edgingtanja here. 41, fem, public servant, from Western Europe. I made a pinned post here to let you know the import stuff. This is a blog about coming out of asexuality, self-doubt, anxiety and mental health. LGBTQIA* friendly, I identify as the "A" in that!

This blog contains erotica (in text only) and descriptions of my journey into LGBTQIA*, discovering maybe B and maybe L? Trying to overcome sexual disinterest and disfunction and try to heal my mental and anxiety issues by communicating with like-minded and open-minded people on tumblr.

Of course, I’m into orgasm denial, edge games and related stuff. I’ve issues, low self-esteem since I’m a “stick”, tall and thin, a “flattie”, an “ironing board”, my breasts are tiny. As teenager I was always deeply humiliated about it. I still feel deeply sexually inadequate because of my body shape. Discovering bisexuality may be in my future. I’m submissive I guess, but I try my hardest to dominate the crap out of everyone to show weakness. I’ve been suffering in depression. For the sexual part of my depression and anxiety I use tumblr as a safe space to try to heal myself by embracing and exploring my humiliation in a playful way.

#me

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kissmetwicekissmedeadly · 1 year

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✨ Napoleon's route in Run Away With Me story event (01/23-01/31) highlights ✨ -- boredom as a proof of peace

Ngl my first reaction was "of course, because his handwriting is such a mess she recognizes it right away..." which is.... something not canon as far as i know (?) but have you seen irl napo's handwriting? Disaster! Well, since his signature on the in-game letters is the same, i guess his handwriting is the same too 🤔 Lol now im imagining mc standing in front of the door for ages trying to read the note 😂

He's....even more of a bully in this event. Surprising her from behind is one thing, but he doesn't miss teasing her about being easy to surprise either 😭

he says that later on too! After successfully switching the key in her pocket with a brooch without her noticing

Her comment about him being like a magician 🤭 he truly outdid himself and it's quite cheesy... Im glad that he addressed that part. But he said it's not like himself to be cheesy...?! are you sure about that

As a whole in this event i noticed a lot of stuff brought up again later on and basically happening twice and I LOVE it, as strange as it is to be impressed by that. It's like, mc says she feels like a princess - i gawk, then towards the end napo picks her up "like a princess" - "OH he treats her REALLY like a princess!!!🥺" that way these things really make a strong impression and stay with you don't they.....

In that line of thought, what's with him and kidnapping all of a sudden?

Maybe the broke the fourth wall and started ironizing the overuse of kidnaping in the game fkkdfnkdkf next thing you know he claims to be under the influence of an aphrodisiac everytime youre are about to do it

I love how secretive he was about the whole thing, it's really his style ever since his route to organize surprise dates like that...and it gives him one too many opportunities to show his "cool" side (sudden fireworks? Dunno nunuche, it must be magic.) and to tease her endlessly.... In the end it turns out it's another of his heroic acts that lead to the villa being rented to him ...and he couldn't refuse when the owner suggested enjoying the fireworks to be shoot off with a lover 🥺❤️

Still the most important part of it is coming to the realization that boredom is a proof of peace. Coming from Napoleon who has long dreamed of peace and finally found it in MC, it's even more special. Who else is gonna see you doing mundane chores and bring out a positive side of it: being used to a life that once seemed so alien, and even dangerous 😭 he's good at seeing certain situations - even the most simple moments of everyday life- in depth and under different angles and interpreting them in a way so they have some sort of correlation to his deepest feelings. Nope, being cheesy surely isn't like him, nooo

His emotional maturity is always showing in such situations and it's part of what makes his character so great in my opinion. Being cool and romantic and thoughtful and charming and a dozen others is just a nice plus

And even after that, he's still ready to fight off her boredom in whatever way he can...hence the "I'll kidnap you anytime" part 🤭🤭 he's always so creative, i can't imagine feeling bored for long with him as a lover

----

I didnt get to see the other branch because someone forgot to log in and use her stamina 😭😭😭 maybe I'll find a way to see it, i also have the epilogue yet to see ( still emotionally and financially recovering from the 500 dia spent on it) but i can safely call it one of his best event stories so far... It felt of great importance about seeing their progress as a couple while still being a classy napo experience ™ 10/10

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp napoleon #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikevamp event #✨ napoleon event highlights

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straawberries · 4 months

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I AM GOING TO BE KICKED OUT IN 6 MONTHS AND I AM NOT MAKING MONEY FAST ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO AVOID HOMELESSNESS

hey girls its me again. ill.. try to keep this brief? as brief as i can atleast.

if you havent seen my previous posts, hi, my name is delilah, im an autistic transgirl system with ptsd thats living in an abusive household where im barely fed and am constantly miserable, and to top it all off, the second my birthday hits on JUNE 1 2024, i am going to be kicked out. i want to make around $2000 dollars before then, but i only have about $350 right now. at my current rate, i wont be able to reach my goal, and i dont know how im going to get housing if i dont. to repeat in big text so people pay attention:

if i do not get about $1700 more in donations before june 1 2024, i am going to be homeless.

im trying.. really hard to not give up but its looking bleak. because i live in a small town in texas where everyone knows that im an autistic trans loser, ive been unable to get a job, and ive been forced to do this. i dont enjoy being forced to rely on other people's kindness, but its the best and atp really the only option i have.

C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga

P*YP*L - @delilahkill

i make pixel art too! dm me if youre interested, i do most things including furries/anthros, humans, chibi/dolls, backgrounds and scenes, and small animations

a lot of scams claiming things like this have been going around, so ill talk about myself some. click the readmore if you want to read that.

#trans #autistic #actually autistic #help needed #urgent #mutual aid #financial aid #commissions #pixel art #pixel gif

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walnutmediocre · 1 month

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What has happened ever since Saturn has entered my 12th House!

Let me give you some context about my chart, first and foremost: I'm a Virgo Sun, Aries Rising, and Pisces moon. My moon is in the 12th house, which opposes my Virgo sun. My Mars is also in Virgo, so that's also being opposed in this Saturn transit. Alright, lets continue..!

Gone To Therapy For The First Time: I hit a very harsh hurdle in my life. A lot of social circle changes were taking place, and things were indefinitely ending. I was extremely fearful of getting into therapy, but something made me bite the bullet. You'll read what exactly has changed for me in this post!

Started My First Ever Job: I was beyond scared to start my first job, since I was often fear mongered about the outside world.

Ended Long-Term Relationships: Specifically, I've ended two. One of them, 5 years, the other.. a year and a half... maybe? It was made clear to me through very uneasy feelings (such as fear and anxiousness), endless conversations with these two, and constant bickering that I should move on, and drop them both.

Created a More Solid Foundation With My Spirituality: I've been functioning with my spirituality out of truth, realism, and skepticism. Not that I haven't before, but its been more implemented in a way. My belief in spirituality, my workings, etc is more solid than ever!

Started Learning How To Drive: ...with no fear attached! I remember when I was 15 yrs old, I'd constantly have anxiety attacks behind the wheel, I wasn't ready in the slightest. Now though? Absolutely no fear. This was such a big milestone for me, along with me getting my first job!

Starting Thinking About Moving Out Seriously: In the past, I was extremely scared of the thought of moving out. Now, I'm suddenly more comfortable with it. I feel fearless to move in with my boyfriend!

Changed My Identity And Mission On The Internet: So, for anyone who doesn't know, I Vtube. I used to say "Im a Vtuber", but recently I've noticed that doesn't resonate with me anymore. I started showing my face a lot more, and let my real name be known. I feel this need to show myself to my full potential, and my full range. Btw, by "mission" I just mean what content I want to create :) This is also something I heavily feared.

Been Separating From My Mother a Lot More: Adulting is hard when you have a helicopter, or codependent, parent. I've been forcibly separating myself from my mom, teaching her that I'll be perfectly fine without her in all of my corners. This is yet ANOTHER thing I was extremely scared to do.

Seriously Thinking About How To Provide Solid Foundations For All Of My Projects: Almost, in a way, thinking about permanence? In terms of my future, specifically career. Thinking about especially the financial plan I have for my future business.

Seriously Thinking About Going To College: I've never been a very college-fond person. I've always despised school, however recently I've been thinking about what degree I want to MAYBE use in order to have a very solid career later in life, no matter if I'm employed under someone or I end up becoming the entrepreneur I dream of.

How Is This Accurate?

Saturn: - Restraint - Maturing - Lessons - Academics - Reality - Wisdom

12th House: - Endlessness - Dreams - Emotions - The Unconscious - The Creative Mind / Left Brain - Spirituality - Permanent Endings - Loss - Fear

The Constant Themes I Experienced So Far: - Breaking of ones fears. - Breaking free from restraint. - Truth seeking / Seeing extremely clearly. - Karma being served. - Maturing / Adulting. - Heightened intuition, more visions. - Clearer retrospect. - More healthy realistic thinking. - Learning how my energy alone can shift my reality. - More fearlessness in general, once I got the ball rolling.

My Conclusion:

When you put both of these together, the energies of the old collide with the concept of mature growth, aka the new. This Saturn in Pisces is extremely beneficial for anybody who is not resisting to Saturn's lessons!! And this is coming from a girlie who was born on their Venus line!! So yeah bitch, accept Saturn's movement!!! I've grown so much. In conclusion, this transit has affected me positively. The opportunities I was given were shown to me through my own efforts. I was shown what I can do, and more. I am STILL being shown what I can make, change, initiate for myself. Thank you, Saturn!!

#astrology #saturn #saturn in pisces #pisces #12th house #12H #saturn transit #pisces saturn

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pesteringchum · 11 months

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seeing ppl hate on gil and say that they hope they completely change gils personality/storyline makes me feel like ppl did not understand him, both as a “person” and as a character. like gen 1 had VERY obvious racial commentary in it and though its debatable how well they handled it, its one of the biggest themes in the show so i think gil and lagoona’s relationship was pretty important.

most of the complaints ive seen about gil are about him being racist. personally, i cant really remember any instances of him actually holding racist views [i have only seen the web series and a couple of the movies, so maybe im missing out on a huge thing that happened]. i can only remember him being worried about what his parents, who were racist, would think about his relationship with lagoona. gil is, what, 16? his parents are a HUGE part of his life still, so i dont blame him for being scared of them and what they think. i mean, if his parents get pissed off at him enough, he could not only lose his parents—who, at that point in his life, are likely huge pillars of both his financial and emotional support systems—but also get kicked out, which are both terrifying prospects for a teenager. no matter how wrong you know that your parents are, telling them that can feel like a life or death decision [and sometimes CAN BE a life or death decision depending on how shitty your parents are]. but you know what else gil does? he becomes confident enough to actually tell his parents off! as a person, i appreciate that gil is a teenager who is in a tough situation and may not yet feel safe to stand up to his parents. this doesnt mean that i think lagoona was wrong for feeling upset or that gil wasn’t being shitty. imo, the situation was VERY unfair to lagoona and i think that breaking up until gil was ready to be open about their relationship would’ve been the best course of action. i just think the situation and the characters involved are more complex than “gil is MEAN and BAD for NO REASON AT ALL” like how some people seem to see it.

as a character, i appreciate gil and his storyline. i think that this kinda thing is believable and adds some depth to the conflicts, characters, and the world of mh. it would’ve been easy to lump all water monsters together, but its interesting and realistic that there is fighting within species/between similar species*. i also appreciate when topics like bigotry are addressed in ways that dont deal with people as Good or Bad. i think its important for kids to see characters who are discriminatory in some way or who are hesitant to speak up against discrimination since that is a very relatable flaw to have. like i said, gil DOES build the self confidence to speak up against his parents. he grows as a person, and its important to have that kind of growth in media. i think that the current view that a lot of ppl on the left seem to have that being A Racist inherently makes you an irredeemably bad person makes it harder for people to recognize and challenge their own racist biases bc no one likes thinking of themselves as A Bad Person. if bigots are solely represented as cartoonishly evil people, then people will think “but IM not a bad person! therefore i cant be racist!” and not challenge their own bigoted ideas.

i actually hope a similar storyline is carried over to gen 3, if with a little more grace, because i think its an interesting and important story to tell. i think the main problem with the storyline in canon is that gil’s arc took so long to resolve. i know if the show was being realistic, this kinda thing probably would take a while to resolve. but also, this is a kids’ show so it would be more effective to deliver that message in a shorter time frame and with a little more focus on it

#*are salt water and freshwater monsters different species? i have no clue lol. hashtag fake fan #gil webber #lagoona blue #monster high #long post #chum pesters #q #also as someone who was in a mixed race relationship i actually really relate to gil #im korean and my high school ex is white but my ex’s family ADORED me #like when we broke up they were worried that i would stop coming around they like me sm #my parents on the other hand were upset when they found out i was dating a white person #i ended up panicking and pretending to break up w my ex and hid our relationship from them #like a lot of ppl seem to liken their relationship to white [gil] + poc [lagoona] but ppl of any race can be prejudiced #ik poc being prejudiced against white ppl is completely different from the inverse in terms of social dynamic but still: shitty situation #imo i see their relationship in universe as more akin to smth like korean + japanese #like theres a lot of bad blood there but to someone who isnt asian [or a water monster in this case] they seem pretty much the same #but yeah. parents suck sometimes and thats a hard thing to navigate!#especially when you are as dependant on them as a teen would be!

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