#and im starting to freak out

[drbtinglecannon]

In Knives Out Blanc wanted to do the murder mystery investigation with Marta so bad, but she was certain she was guilty so she spent a good amount of the movie avoiding/hiding stuff from him

Meanwhile in Glass Onion Helen was fucking carrying the investigation, even while accidentally getting drunk, and even went to investigation lengths Blanc was hesitant to do

#knives out #glass onion #ko: marta actively ruins evidence due to her perceived guilt. blanc knew the entire time she was innocent or ill intent #go: helen fucking diving forward to eavesdrop on duke/miles/whiskey better. helen tossing a tape recorder in birdie's bag. helen listening #in on lionel & claires freak out at the pool. helen did all the research on her sisters journals to get as into the role as possible #marta only standing up for her rightful inheritance at the end after everything vs helen down to ruin those shitheads from the start #i love these movies & the duality in the chars/victims & how it ends. marta gets the house. helen burns miles' down. its just!!!!! AHHH #i just rewatched knives out again so i can rewatch glass onion again tomorrow. im so normal about this series #tc posts #*of ill intent gdi. tumblr mobile let me edit tags

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4) #and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!! #(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. ) #anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild??? #so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page. #here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area. #i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

prince and prince friendship. this is my vision

#blood cw //////// #violence cw /////////// #erikar #eridan ampora #dirk strider #karkat vantas #dave strider #im just crazy about the idea that eridan and dirk would get along #theyre both fucked up in the head but in a way where they go ''theyre a freak but theyre basically OK'' about each other #eridan is too stupid/stubborn to manipulate and dirk literally could not give less of a shit about eridan's drama #so they have like a net 0 impact on each other #they do not make each other better. they also do not make each other worse. #they just get really bored and lonely sometimes #''do u want to stave off the ennui and beat the shit out of each other'' ''sure i dont have anything else going on today'' #just super lethargic and almost transactional #since they only hang out when theyre both bored as shit. from the outside it almost looks like a moirallegiance thing #at least until they start trying to murder each other which is when it suddenly looks like a kismesis #but its neither #theyre literally just bored and love violence #eridan <> karkat btw

[rewrite-canon]

im going crazy with how people are starting to agree with snow that sejanus was really stupid and deserved what was coming to him. reading the books first should be a pre requisite to the movie idcccc if that takes away the wider audience, the wider audience all have smooth brains anyway.

“why was he colluding with rebels when he could’ve just thought about it pragmatically 🙄” i’m in your fucking walls. sejanus was never dumb, snow just kept pushing that perception of him through the book to deflect the fact that sejanus was an actual good person. snow thought himself the personification of good and benevolence, which was why everything he did had to have some half-assed excuse as to why he was justified in doing it. it was why he was actually tweaking in the woods when lucy gray left him, because he wanted to rid himself of her but he didn’t have an actual reason so he convinced himself of the most random scenario ever to justify trying to shoot at her. so we can establish that snow was an evil broke boy who clearly wasn’t good— then sejanus was a direct confrontation of snow’s own shortcomings towards that (i don’t think i have to detail how sejanus was genuine, it was obvious). coriolanus and sejanus are like the direct opposite characters of each other, and snow knew and took pride in this to an extent. which is why snow couldn’t admit that sejanus was good to himself, thus sejanus was deemed ‘stupid’ to protect his own deluded self actualisation (but this also includes other aspects like how the war made the plinths rich and the snows poor, leading to resentment and jealousy from snow).

“but that still didn’t mean he wasn’t doing dumb things throughout the book” was it really that dumb? a rebellion will always include some level of risk but i don’t hear anyone calling heavensbee stupid because it actually worked out for him. plus sejanus is district, so if we use our common sense of who he is as a character and emotional intelligence of his situation, it’s pretty easy to see why he would get in touch with rebels. he’s literally always yearned for the districts, he never once cared about his money or safety, which isn’t stupid, it’s sad. this was his way of dealing with the guilt of profiting from his people’s suffering— again, not stupid. you could argue he was reckless, especially when he went into the arena, but most people who simply cast him as a ‘dumb character’ ignore how troubled he is and fall into the very filtered lens of snow who was just concentrating on his stupidity.

sejanus’ growing radical actions had nothing to do with stupidity and everything to do with feeling helpless and like nothing was changing. he tried minor/low-risk things such as attempting to change the perception of the districts in the capitol, advocating against the hunger games etc etc. of course it didn’t work, so his options grew limited to more radical courses of action. its a natural line of thought— activists literally do it in real life when they feel as if their cause isn’t getting enough attention (eg. setting themselves on fire). sejanus is a desperate character who is so selfless in light of snow’s constant self-preservation. snow will always put himself first and be paranoid that he will be betrayed like he’s betrayed others, so he never understands sejanus’ disposition to help and trust people, so he labels him dumb. omg. like. sejanus is so not-stupid i’m actually gonna start freaking out!! this is defamatory leave my boo alone!! plz go read a book and work on media literacy i am begging!!!

#maybe the stupidity was the friends we made along the way….. #i saw someone say that since the book was in third person then it wasn’t told from snow’s pov so it was reliable 💀💀 #like are we stupid now??? #this was supposed to be a short post but now im ranting and tweaking out #sejanus haters catch these handz leave this boy alone #he is literally the best!!! i hate yall sm 😭😭 #some of yall have the WORST takes about tbosas ever. #dont even get me started on the ‘lucy gray was manipulating and using snow the whole time’ bcuz i will freak out worse #sejanus plinth defender 4EVAAAAA #sejanus plinth #coriolanus snow #snowjanus #lucy gray baird #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #the hunger games #rewriting

[rottengurlz]

"In the crooks of your body, I find my religion."

#oc: noelle #oc: avery #happy valentines day!!!!!!!11 #the way avery looks at her #IM GONNA BE SICK #there is no place he'd rather be than to be wrapped around noelle #in game photos you will always be my greatest enemy #mysims #the sims community #simblr #sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 edit #avery would be so panicked when it comes to valentines he spent most of his life wathcing his parents tear themselves apart #and has never allowed or wanted to have a connection with someone like he has with noelle #even tho he'd be freaking out he'd have this huge detailed plan #noelle would tell him to not worry about it and they can just hang out at her apartment like normal #and avery would be like uhhuh yeahh yeah all while thinking about the 100000 things he has planned #the day would start with them in the picture where they're wrapped up together enjoying each others warmth #they wouldn't be able to keep their hands off of each other #sorry they fuck nasty #avery would've already had flowers on their way to be delivered so when they get up for the morning they'd be ready for her #he'd pick out lisianthus because he researched they last longer and knows noelle loves flowers but gets sad when they die #after that avery would take her around the city to all of his favorite places all the places that make him happy #he couldn't think of any better gift than really opening himself up to noelle and allowing her to learn everything about him #he's never wanted anyone to learn or know anything about him until noelle #he'd have running commentary the entire time like how at a grocery store an old lady hit him with her purse #when he tried returning her wlalet she dropped because she thought avery stole it #“old bitch” “avery thats not nice” “she HIT me” #gfjhhjfjfhfj

[napping-sapphic]

Need an emotional support gf for horror movies because i really like horror stuff but i’m too anxious about the idea of getting scared to start it when i’m by myself

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #i feel like ive made this exact post before but my point stands😤 #i dont usually get freaked out by things when i watch them #but like what if i DID?? #the potential of being scared scares me more than the movies half the time lol #the way i keep going to start the blair witch project and then immediately backing out at the play button lol #i was hella scared of absolutely everything as a kid so i think i misjudge my horror tolerance a lot lol #need a buddy for support/to hide behind in case i do get scared #no fun when i don’t even have the option😤 #im gay and i like sleeping

[whatisame]

Bartylus, baby!!!!

Summary: Barty is in jail and Regulus wants to break up with him. Inspired by that one Shameless US scene.

"Barty..." There are no words to describe what Regulus is feeling right now, holding a phone to his ear and looking at Barty through the stained glass.

"I did it myself," he smirks proudly like it isn't obvious with his wobbly R and smudged g. Regulus is going to kill himself. And then Barty. Don't ask how.

What were you thinking?

Why are you making this so hard for me?

"That is not how you spell Arcturus."

"The fuck it isn't." Barty frowns and looks down at his bare chest. "A-k-t-u-r-u-s."

"I think I would know how to spell my own middle name, Barty."

"Fuck. Are you messing with me right now?"

"Are you?! Who the fuck gets a prison tattoo? Do you know what kinds of infections you could have gotten? Did you even sterilize—"

"—So you don't like it, is that what you're saying?"

"Jesus Christ." Regulus runs his hands through his hair, a fruitless attempt at soothing himself. "Whatever made you think that I'd like it?"

"I don't know, Regulus, the fact that it's fucking romantic?" Barty stared at him with raised eyebrows and Regulus resisted the urge to slam his head against the glass. "I was thinking that once I got out I'd have enough practice to make it look better, maybe even move on from the rusty needle. Then maybe I could give you one of my name. Maybe of my face? Definitely of my ass."

"I'm so not doing that."

"I'm kidding! You don't have to get one of my ass. Although, I must say, you're kind of missing out."

"I will not be getting any tattoos in your honor, Barty. It's over."

"What do you mean?"

"You and me. We're over. We're bad for each other, B."

It was startling, Barty's face changing from his usual couldn't-give-a-damn expression to something so solemn. Regulus had scarcely seen it happen over the course of their friendship. He saw it once, when he'd found out about Walburga's anger issues and how she chose to deal with them. And twice, when he'd pushed Regulus away after their first kiss.

And now, obviously.

"You don't mean that," he says gravely.

"I know we're not boyfriends, I know you hate that word but I thought—" Regulus takes a deep breath and makes himself look Barty in the eye. "I know about Evan."

It's funny. How Barty doesn't even try to deny it. Then again, he didn't think he would.

"Fuck," is the only thing he says.

Regulus agrees.

"I just came here to say that, so..." he grimaces, almost hanging up.

"Wait, Reg!" He sees more than hears the words leaving Barty's lips. He picks up the phone again. Barty is silent on the other end.

"What?" Regulus snaps. It irks him how the other boy enjoys making things harder for him. He knew how much this meant for him. How much he meant to him.

"Just–Don't go." Regulus scoffs. "I'll be your fucking boyfriend or whatever. I don't care but— Stay."

"That's exactly the problem, B. You don't care. I like you—"

"—I like you too!"

"Well I like you more! Clearly! I have been at your beck and call for months and you might pretend like you don't notice and everything is the same and we're still the Barty and Regulus from years ago, but we're not. I'm not. I refuse to spell it out for you, B, so read between the fucking lines."

Barty is silent for a long time before he speaks. Something about the shadows lurking in his eyes makes Regulus lean closer. Everything about Barty is magnetic, and he fucking despises it.

"I know," he nods slowly, "I have always known I don't deserve you. This is not me pitying myself, I know I'm a fucking scumbag, I'm proud of it. But Reg. Fuck. If you could see yourself the way I see you... Well, you'd freak out. I'm properly mental." He chuckles half-heartedly. "It's actually fucking annoying having you running around my head all day. Pretty sure my cell-mate thinks so too. Any day now he's gonna stab me in my sleep with my soap-knife—"

"—Your what?"

"It's a knife carved from soap. Don't worry about the details," Barty says, waving a hand dismissively. "My point is he's told me I'm getting on his last nerve by talking nonstop about you. Or at least that's what I think he said, half of it was in Spanish so, you know..."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Barty says while scratching the back of his neck. He avoids Regulus' searching gaze.

He knows he shouldn't press. That Barty is uncomfortable right now and that to leave it alone is for the best.

And yet...

"What do you say about me?"

It makes Barty throw his head back with a laugh. "Oh, baby, you'd be surprised."

"Well, go on." Regulus twirls the cord around his index finger. The one with the ring Barty gave him. "Surprise me."

"I talk about you at lunch, and make sure everyone knows how much I miss tasting your delicious food."

Regulus laughs but it's more of a punched breath. Barty practically bites through the spoon whenever he offers him a taste.

"I talk about you in the yard when I see the ridiculous cliques and know they'd make you laugh."

Barty describes them for him. He hates that it does make him laugh. He tells him he should join the retired christian hitmen. Barty disagrees, but only because he's forming his own clique.

"I even talked about you when some guy tried to beat the shit out of me. Told him how you weigh half as much as he does and could still kick his ass easily."

"Barty," he chastises. Try to stay out of trouble, he'd told Barty when he first visited him. To which he had replied, Don't worry, I'm going to make prision my bitch. It had done nothing to put Regulus at ease.

Barty smirks. "Shut up. You're flattered."

It makes him snort. Not bothering to deny it.

"I don't talk about you at night but that doesn't mean you're not up here being a little shit." He taps his forehead with the plastic phone and smiles languidly. "You haunt me. I want to know what you're doing, who you are with, it drives me up the walls."

Regulus swallows hard.

"I think often about how I'm here for you. And eventhough I know you hate me for it, I'd do it again. And again. I'll always look out for you first, Whiskers."

"You shouldn't."

"You see... I knew you would say that."

Regulus isn't surprised. They know each other better than anyone else.

"I'm still gonna do it," Barty adds, shrugging. "Even if you get rid of me."

"Like I could," Regulus scoffs. "Fucking parasite."

"Good," he declares. "Now, about Evan—"

Regulus' throat constricts. Right. He'd forgotten for a moment. Evan accidentally let it slip, how he spent the night at Barty's some weeks after their first kiss.

"It's over. I promise. It's been over for a long time. I haven't been able to��ehem–perform with anyone else since we..." he trails off but Regulus got the gist of it.

"Are you kidding? That was months ago!" Barty looks mortified which makes Regulus feel quite accomplished. Barty is naturally unashamed, unbothered and proud, and Regulus feels a rush whenever he manages to get him to snap. Pressing his finger on a bruise has always brought him pleasure. "Don't tell me you were suddenly feeling shy?"

"Fuck you, first of all. I don't want to talk about this."

"Did little Jr miss me so terribly he had to go into hiding?"

"Yes he fucking did!" Barty screams, all loud energy and electrifying gaze. Everything Regulus is fundamentally against concelead in a grimy boy who happens to be his favorite person in ths world.

"So you must like me a lot, huh?!" he goads.

"Yes, you asshole! Very fucking much!"

Regulus chuckles, chest warm and pleasant buzz under his skin. "Adorable. I guess your dick isn't the only thing that went soft."

Barty crackles at that, flipping him off as he laughs.

"I hate you so much," Barty mutters when the shared laughter dies down.

"Yeah, I know." Regulus smiles, gently tracing Barty's stupid tattoo with his eyes.

Regulus Akturus Black

"I hate you with my bones."

#flesh and bones. they love each other with their flesh and bones I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT #so i think i need to clarify that theyre not dating and Barty TRIES to hook up with Evan as he'd done many times before but he freaks out b #he's thinking of reg the whole time and hes not supposed to catch feelings like that #anyways i wrote this on a whim because i started looking at some gallavich gifs before going to sleep. BIG MISTAKE #im supposed to be asleep #fuckkkkkkk #bartylus #barty crouch jr #regulus black #barty x regulus #regulus x barty #starkiller

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Hello! I saw that you had a human design for the Tengu, and I wanted to ask: got any hcs for our bird demon as human? Or just hcs in general, wither will work

Hey! Bro- you won't believe it, but i literally was thinking about Humanized Tengu (for uh- reasons) when I opened tumblr just to see this ask, like deadass??? ad;kjdfdfsa Clearly it was a sign!

But I don't have that many hc about him tbh?? He was a very spontaneous creation for that day, so like here have just some basic info:

the original design i did for ninjavember is kind of how Tengu looked at the prime of his powers in human form, when it/he faced First Ninja.

He is very unnaturally tall, has bone white (practically ashen) skin, with the end of his limbs being dark grey (like literal ash/burned). His body is covered in blue markings like tattoos (very inspired by Law from One Piece haha) and his hair is a mix of feathers and fur-like hair (like birds). He is usually dressed in rich clothes, with his wings acting like sort of cape.

He likes to smoke the pipe ;) its less of actual smoking leaf and more 'energy and fire itself' type of smoking.

He is kind of an asshole, but he greatly (if reluctantly) respects First Ninja because he managed to defeat him and use his powers for his own means. He despises having his powers used by others, but he also kinda respects that it is for a noble cause.

When it comes to Ninjas who came after, he kind of feels like a dad who was forced to take care of kids he never wanted, and those kids literally suck life force out of him, lol.

And that's about all I got for now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But thanks for the ask i loved a chance to doodle him ;)

#que? #rc9gn #rc9gn tengu #rc9gn first ninja #listen the analogy of First contracting Tengu into an unwilling 'marriage' for noble cause and basically dumping adopted kids on him later #makes me cackle like a deranged person you dont even know #fun info his hair makes him look like a rooster and it freaks Randy out very much ;) #i actually got an absolutely dumb funny idea about his more modern design but i started laughing so hard that now i cant conceptualize it #into words or arts so. uh i dunno maybe ill post about it later tbd #i literally answered this ask the same day i got it and then i struggled to draw like fr and got distracted and shiet #man im drowning in wips <;D i cri #also i refused to aknowledge that i like to make Ninja deal with a certain type of people ok leave me and my fav tropes alone

[rabdoidal]

idk how to express it but like. my mum asked me earlier "do you have initiative? you need to learn how to do things without people telling you" and idk how to tell her like. 1. i am autistic and a HUGE part of that is not having motivation or initiative in the traditional sense because its harder to read what people want from you, 2. i also have executive dysfunction with my depression, and 3. she is the reason why i have a lack of motivation! because my whole life when i Try to do things to help out, i either get confused or i do it wrong, and shes not patient with me and also doesnt explain things to me - and the worst part is 4. i dont know how to explain stuff to her without it feeling like an excuse, because when i speak plainly, she thinks im dodging blame, when im actually just trying to communicate my default settings and how im working on overcoming them because i live in a neurotypical society. when i dont contribute or help out because im scared of messing up, i am ridiculed and shamed, and when i do contribute, im not allowed to ask clarifying questions or ask for support, because then i am an idiot. and y'know what? its annoying to be told i have no motivation when right now is the time where i have the most self-driven motivation ive ever had

#personal #its truly just like. im not asking for solutions or comments here #its just straight up confusing for me #and i get so overwhelmed trying to say this out loud to people #like i instantly start crying #but its not because im sad! or trying to get sympathy! i am just so freaked out all the time! #i have to be so self regulated its not funny #genuinely the only reason my family dont see me as an actual autistic person is because i can talk #if i was 24/7 nonverbal maybe theyd believe me #my god

[pup-pee]

no1s mad i drew more konbart right?

last drawing is nirvana au // also i gave up on the 1st drawing mayb? i might return 2 it

#i realized im starting 2 feel insecure bc ppl my age r drawing muchMUCH better than me so i tried 2 do things i dont usual do kinda idk #trying 2 prove im not *that* bad @ art lol #which means i tried 2 draw kissing y tf did i try this I DONT I #USE TONE INDICATORS U BITCH! #nirvana au #nirvana!kon #kart #konbart #my fujcing wifi freaked out on me & i drew all of these #so thats fun!! #also i worked on my sketchbook bc NOTHING WAS WORKING sts yestefay was so boring :( #my sketchbook is exploding its more junk then sketch #my junk book #puppee art #i love nirvana!kon oh how k love them so theyre so pretty ((imo)) #i drew like 3 sidelrofiles im dying #ALSO IGNORE HOW LAZY I AM DRAWING SUPEEHERO SUITS LOL #IDRC…IDK…I DIDNT WANNA DRAW THE FLARES OR THE PATCHES PLSSSSS #ive drawn sm kon in the last like week? #bc of etsy its honestly great i have like a lil collection of those ty cards i make #uhm #i need 2 stop rambling gn #y am i saying gn???

[idontwantittobeunrequited]

how anthony didn't swoon n fall flat on the forest floor when kate stepped over a log and showed a bit of thigh i will never know

#god is a women and her name is kathani sharma #im so normal about this #yeah i finally got into bridgerton #i might start talking like old british high class society #its unavoidable i fear #bridgerton #kanthony #bridgerton s2 #kate bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #kathani sharma #kate sharma #like seeing a womens ankles in the victorian era #how was no one else in the hunt freaking out abt this #respectfully women

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I feel like Howdy would be the type to go to the dollar store to save money then complain when something is like $1.99

i second this....

#he also seems like the type to have the funds to shop regularly at like. idk whole foods and H&M #but he exclusively thrifts and goes to dollar tree & the 99 cent store and shit #i know this man's coupon game is Insane #probably has a whole extra wallet purely for coupons and gift cards.... #in the checkout line the store winds up owing Him money #rambles from the bog #further solidifying that if howdy pillar was a real person id fuckin hate him lmao #itd be On Sight! #wait lmao #howdy would get seriously injured #and while everyone is freaking out / calling 911 #howdy has a calculator out typing up the cost of an ambulance ride / hospital bills / insurance #he pauses looking at the total. #then starts calculating funerary costs #they get sick of waiting for an ambulance and just shove him in the car #sally leans over to see that howdy is googling cremation urns based on price #IM SORRY THIS IS INSANELY FUNNY TO ME #im sitting here at my laptop snickering like an idiot #sally just smacks the phone out of his hands....

[becauseplot]

Anyway for entirely justifiable reasons (<-is a glutton for angst) I need Chayanne and Tallulah to be present when the hummingbirds come around or a note about the 'wise old crow' appears in their house, causing qPhil to have one of his derealization/reality-questioning episodes. I need it. I need it to happen SO bad. Because they’ve seen Phil get roughed up in a fight, they’ve seen him angry, they’ve seen him wary and even nervous, but they have NEVER seen him doubt like that.

People have already made posts talking about how the cage-for-a-cage/child-of-the-sky stuff has been particularly rough on qPhil, who relies heavily on his constant vigilance, keen senses, and hyper-awareness of his surroundings for reassurance. He's the kind of guy who walks into a room and has already charted at minimum two escape routes by the time he takes a seat, you know? He sees and processes and stores information on everything, at all times, and he uses this to act in the best interest of his and his loved ones' collective survival.

His kids see this side of him too, most significantly in the ways that he looks after them: always keeping an eye on the back of the group, never far from Tallulah, and constantly analyzing Chayanne's fighting style to give helpful critique to optimize his attacks. Chayanne and Tallulah know that everything he's ever done was to protect them. Also, he's always there to offer them advice when they're feeling lost, and even if he doesn't have all the answers they need, he gives enough reassurances and promises to put their minds at ease. Phil is confident in what he knows. In their eyes, he is strong. He is a fortress, safe and impenetrable.

You could say that about a lot of children's perceptions of their parents/guardians/mentors. The older, guiding forces in our lives always seemed strong and infallible to us as kids. That's why it was always unnerving to see them get sick, or get stressed, or cry. Observing weakness in those people felt so, so wrong because we never considered the fact that they were capable of it; it was just impossible.

So, the situation: Phil is suffering in a way that makes him question the very same reality that he was a master of not too long ago. Whenever it happens, he goes quiet, looks around, mutters to himself, breathes shakily, fidgets. He is visibly unnerved and uncertain.

If Chayanne and Tallulah are there, they're gonna notice---they're perceptive, just like him. I'd imagine they'd try to ask him if he's okay, and he'd reassure them that he's fine, and maybe that's enough the first time. But, as more incidents arise, and as time goes on, they start to see more of this out-of-nowhere uneasiness, fear, from him, which is worrying, especially because he won't tell them why.

NOW. Phil has been upfront about a lot of things with Chayanne and Tallulah in the past. For example, during the height of the code attacks, Phil told them everything he ever learned about the codes, every single new development, to ensure that his kids were well informed and prepared. He was frank about the threat on their lives because to sugar-coat anything would be doing them a disservice. It was important they knew all of the cold, hard facts, even if it took away even more of their precious childhood innocence. He values their happiness, but safety comes first. It has always come first.

But this is different. It's not cold hard facts. Phil doesn't know what to believe anymore. When the hummingbirds come around and his reality comes into question, he doesn't know what is real, what he can trust, what is fact. His senses have been compromised. Hell, he's still trying to convince himself that he's not going crazy when all evidence seems to suggest that he's losing his goddamn mind. He doesn't know what to tell his kids, so he tells them nothing.

So now here stands Chayanne and Tallulah. There is something that is scaring their dad, and he won't tell them what is, so on top of the knowledge that their unwavering father is, in fact, capable of true, genuine fear, he's suddenly keeping things from them. Their dad is keeping things from them because he is scared. And I can't imagine a realization more terrifying than that.

#goddamn i did not mean to write an essay i just have SO many thoughts about this #cw derealization mention #look idk if what qphil goes through when he starts questioning the presence of birds/if he's dreaming is like an *actual* dereal. episode #but man if it doesn't make him question his reality and freak him the fuck out #so im calling it 'derealization/reality-questioning' just to cover my bases #yall get what i mean though #dont mind me im just rambling #qsmp philza #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #actually super nervous to post this longpost so if it vanishes uhhhh you know why

[spider-man-2o99]

okayokayokay ill shut up after this but before i go just look at him putting his arms & red patches up over his head to look more Big and Scary like.. . . yeah yeah buddy we get it u r venomous and Birds oughta Think TWICE Before They Mess With You and also this is DEFINITELY not going 2 come back to haunt Anyone at Any Point EVER

#talking tag #spider-man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #across the spider-verse #atsv #(disheartened) lads i dont know if he will Bite That Teenager. strongly a-fearing that he really just might not have his paralyzing bite :{ #cause like FR if youre both unmasked and miles is Running Away. and YOU dont want him to run away. then WHY not try 2 bite him? #but when we see miles as theyre fightin. his suits torn up yes but he doesnt have any (visible) Fang Punctures #which means! for Some Damn Reason! either mig is just Letting Miles Run for the #-sake of whatever his Motivation in this film is (aka it only makes sense with context). Or. OR. they just FORGOT HES VENOMOUS >:{ #listen to me atsv LISTEN to me you already fuckign gave him an abe lincoln head if he doesnt even have his fangs im turning into tha joker #no group tetanus shots bcuz mig got freaked out nd started biting ppl.... <:(

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. The thing abt the uchiha is that. Yes. It was fucked up that no one trusted them and they got pushed further and further from the village center. However. They were also a clan of ninja cops with fucked up magical eyes that they supercharge by getting horrifically traumatized. So like. I also would not fucking trust them.

#like maybe its just that ive been too influenced my senju propaganda but i just think the uchiha as a clan kinda fucking suck #at least by the time we get to sasuke's dad leading things. they seemed fine when madara joined with the village #so its just that the resentment at feeling pushed out has risin by then. and maybe im not remembering things right but like Tobirama #made them the cops right? and they got pissed that they weren't given any political power but like u get so much fucking power as the polic #? and also it just seems like the worst fucking idea to put that all on one clan. like THE WORST job u could give to 1 clan of fucked up #eyeball freaks. and i can never tell if they r legitimately being prejudiced against but like they kida have good reason not to trust them #bc they were legit gonna overthrow the government. so like where did it start? i just kinda feel like they think theyre entitled to power #but r also intentionally standoffish to outsiders. but again maybe im just biased bc i dont like Sasukes dad and the nameless uchiha so muc #ugh. its too messy and its all built on the back of what may or may not have been a slight against them. and the rift just kept getting #wider. i mean knowing Tobirama it was probably a slight... but idk im not power hungry enough to understand y they got so mad abt it #konoha. the village in which everyone sucks and the children suffer. #naruto ramblings #naruto

[neurotypical-sonic]

obsessed with putting 4 year tails, with fresh trauma, into the care of 11 year old sonic. thats a lot of baggage and symptoms and Moments™️ that sonic is not equipped to deal with or realise that its something that should be dealt with. sobs. they're just kids man

#the specific thing im thinking about rn is what if tails got sleep paralysis a lot when he was younger. and he'd freak out #and for a start sonic would panic too bc whats HAPPENING #egg.txt #sonic #tails #sonic&tails #sonicposting