#and it just makes her spiral worse and worse and worse

[annabelle--cane]

there's a lot going on in the mag 58 supplemental, this one little scene does a lot of heavy lifting to set up martin and tim's arcs for the rest of the show, but I want to focus on these lines particularly because of how therapy comes back as a symbol in s4/s5.

broadly, in the context of the meta plot and not the individual statements, seeking therapy in tma is representative of trying to improve oneself and get out of a bad situation. later, when taking melanie to therapy, georgie suggests that jon should get some as well but, when asked, says she wouldn't be willing to escort him like she does with melanie, showing how she does wish the best for jon in theory but doesn't think he actually wants to get better, or at least that she's not sure enough to involve herself with him.

that view of jon doesn't come from nowhere, because here we have an instance of him rejecting that same offer, symbolically rejecting help in favor of digging himself deeper on his own (obligatory disclaimer that irl therapy is a very personal thing and says nothing about one's overall character, this is just an examination of a motif in fiction). the word choice of "he just says no" imo implies that martin has suggested this multiple times and jon keeps giving the same answer, continually reaffirming that he does not want outside assistance to pull him out of this spiral.

the fact that martin's the one advocating to go soft on jon despite repeated refusals for more sympathetic help is interesting to me, because I would guess that this conversation was instigated by jon aggressively confronting martin about trevor herbert two episodes earlier. we know he was stalking all three of his assistants, but that is the biggest and most threatening outburst we get from jon in this period, and in this conversation it is still martin being defensive and apologetic vs tim being frustrated and pissed off.

I've said recently that I'm pretty sure martin believed jon was self harming and/or suicidal at this point, so I can see why he would be particularly willing to give jon slack and try to prevent any big conflicts, but that still contributes to his current narrative role of "guy who is treated the worst but ignores it because he's also the guy who cares the most." in that way, he's a foil for georgie; she cares, sure, but not enough to ignore (perceived) risks. martin pushes for jon to get therapy even as he lashes out and rejects help, and georgie won't involve herself when jon asks if she'd be willing to help him see a therapist.

this motif comes back around for a final complication in s5, when laverne, melanie's therapist, winds up as part of her cult. melanie's effort to get better and get out did have lasting effects, she is separated from the watcher/watched system and is coping a whole lot better than she would have before, but those personal efforts still weren't enough to fully get her out of the whole mess. no amount of individual action could remove her from this structural problem, her therapist helped her a lot but also now thinks she's a prophet.

which also comes back to the above scene. tim and martin both write off elias as useless in this situation, so they start sniping at each other and talking about how to stop jon from doing what he's doing without even really lingering on how the guy who is actually in charge and has power over them all is making it worse by neglecting his managerial duties. I'm sure jon could have done with some therapy at this point, but that would have only dealt with, like, 10% of the archive gang's current problems.

#tma #marina marvels at life #id in alt text

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

For context:

A few days ago, @meagancandraw (Night-Waker) and I did a lil' "what-if" scenario in a private server of what would happen if Moon punched Sun after a hallucination-driven breakdown and then ran off and was visited by someone who gave him the clarity he needed.

The following is what transpired:

NIGHT: He's starting to hallucinate, goes to hit one, and it ends up being Sun.

Sun: Moon-! Moon: DON'T TOUCH ME! (THWACK)

And that's when he snaps out of it-

ME: The sound echoes, bouncing off the walls and ringing in Moon's audio receptors. There's a frightening sting that spreads across the back of his hand. The swirling black and red of his vision vanishes practically in an instant as he stares mortified at Sun, who cups his cheek with an equally mortified look. What did he…? No…no no no what had he done-- ?: M-Moon…?!

NIGHT: Moon can only look at Sun, at the hand holding his cheek. It looks dented, and there's specks of dark blue visible between his fingers. Moon slowly looks down at his own hand, and sees where small streaks of paint have been violently scrapped off, exposing the grey underneath. He feels sick. Moon: I- ?: Sun! Lunar runs into the room (Oh God how long had he been standing there how much had he seen), asking Sun if he's okay. The sound is muffled to Moon, however, as he continues to stare at his hand. There's more talking - or is it yelling? - but he can't tell from who. All he hears is static. Horror blooms in his chest and spreads through his circuits

ME: Earth suddenly rushes in as well, looking between the two. She asks what happened but doesn't get an answer from either, so she asks Lunar, who fills her in. Her eyes widen and she looks to Moon- God that look…The way she looked at him--horrified, scared, angry--he couldn't bear it.

Before anyone can think to stop him, he turns and activates a random portal, and flees into it.

-

NIGHT: Moon [begins] spiraling and thinking his whole family must hate him. They should. Not only did he fail to protect Solar, now he's hurt Sun in front of them. He's a horrible brother. They don't deserve as terrible as him. Is hurting his family all he's good for?

ME: (imagine while in Beta 10 he starts hallucinating.)

"What, gonna start drowning in your own pity party again?"

He sees hallucinations of his family, one by one. Starting with Earth. Then Lunar. Then even Eclipse. Then Sun.

Then Old Moon.

All of them berating and sharp, pushing the dagger in deeper. "You promised you would be better." "Why weren't you honest with how you felt?" "You're a monster." "You're pathetic."

"You did the one thing I told you not to do." In the midst of the anguish as the people he loves drive home every wound, he hears a voice he doesn't expect and looks-

to see Solar.

Still a hallucination, but…he is different. He's not shouting at Moon for his failures, he's not calling him horrible things.

NIGHT: "Solar" asking Moon what he's doing here instead of being with his family Moon (crying): I don't deserve to be with them

ME: Solar: What makes you think that?

NIGHT: Moon: Because all I'm good for is hurting them! I hit Sun! I let you die! I can't protect anyone! I'm just as bad as the old me! ME: Solar: Moon. If that's all you ever see in yourself, then that is all you will ever be.

NIGHT: Moon: It's all I am! The old me killed himself because he thought that I would be better, but he was wrong! ME: Solar: Was he? NIGHT: Moon: Yes! Name one good thing I've done that didn't end up backfiring or making things worse for everyone!

ME: Solar: hm. Well…from what I heard about the guy, he didn't have a shred of empathy. So you got him beat on that front. NIGHT: Moon: Yeah… a lot of good that's done for me

ME: Solar: Yeah it has. 'Cept I don't think you actually see what good it's done. NIGHT: Moon: Like what? ME: Solar: well your brother, for one. Would you say you've grown closer since you re-awoke? NIGHT: Moon: I… guess? But I still hit him, and I promised myself that this version of me would never do that

ME: Solar: and you think he's upset with you?

NIGHT: Moon: Of course he is! Why wouldn't he be?!

ME: Solar: well, you kinda just ran before you could see what he'd say.

NIGHT: Moon: … Moon: That's because I'm a coward

ME: Solar: hm…didn't they say he was a coward, too?

NIGHT: Moon: Who?

ME: Solar: the old you. He ran from his problems too, didn't he?

NIGHT: Moon: That's part of why he made me. He had a lot of problems and regrets he couldn't face… If you're here to tell me that I'm doing the same thing right now, trust me, I'm well aware. I guess it's just another thing I have in common with the old me

ME: Solar: I don't think I'm here to tell you what you've already heard.

NIGHT: Moon: Then what are you here for?

ME: Solar: well? You don't want to be like him, right? And if he ran from his problems, what do you think you should do?

NIGHT: Moon: Yeah, I know… I just… (Sighs) I dunno… what if what happened is just the start? What if Sun and the others are wrong about me, and I just keep getting worse?

ME: Solar: everyone has highs and lows, Moon. And the lows can really suck sometimes. That's just how life is. But that's what family is for, yeah? To help pick you back up when you're down?

NIGHT: Moon: …You're right. Heh, even when you're dead you're right … (Tears up) God, I miss you

ME: Solar: (smiles) failing and making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person, Moon. It's how you respond that determines how things go.

NIGHT: Moon: I should probably get out of here, huh?

ME: Solar: they're probably out lookin' for ya right now

NIGHT: Moon: Yeah. I should- Sun: (From the entrance) Moon…? Are you here? Moon: Sun? (Looks over at Solar to see that he's vanished)

ME: Sun: (approaches, finds him staring at the mirror) …figured you'd come here

NIGHT: Moon: Actually, I set the portal to random … …Are you okay?

ME: Sun: (thinks for a moment). Not happy about being punched again, but…I'm fine. And…m-more worried about you, honestly.

NIGHT: Moon: I'm… better than I was earlier… Sun, I am so so sorry for hitting you. I don't think there are any words that can begin to tell you how sorry I am

ME: Sun: I know you're sorry. I do. But…Moon, this-- (sighs) This can't keep happening.

NIGHT: Moon: I know...

ME: Sun: Do you?

NIGHT: Moon: … Moon: The old me gave up his life so I could be the better version of him. I already told you what he told me: To protect our family no matter what. That's been my entire purpose since the moment I woke up, but lately it feels like no matter what I do, it's not enough. That I'm not enough. I keep thinking that if I was smarter like him, then Solar would still be alive, or if I did start killing anyone who was a threat - sure, it wouldn't be right, but you'd all at least be safe

…I'm terrified of becoming like the old Moon, Sun. That's the last thing I want, but KC's already dead, and if I can't keep our family safe, then that officially means the old Moon died for nothing! I know that's not an excuse, but I- I can't lose anyone else, Sun!

ME: Sun: we don't want to lose YOU, Moon! Why should protecting our family be only your responsibility?! Family protects each other, it's not supposed to be one person's burden! … The old Moon, he…I get he did what he did to keep me and everyone safe, but…it still hurt people. It still hurt me.

NIGHT: Moon: I know, and I'm sorry. … You're the most important person in my life, Sun. I love Lunar and Earth, but you're the one who keeps me going. It's your light and your strength that inspires me, and I want to protect that at all costs. I want to make sure nothing ever happens to you or the others, even if it means taking on that burden all by myself. I know it's not fair to you, or Lunar and Earth, but I… I don't think I know how to do it any other way. …But I'd like to learn

ME: Sun: (listens in silence, then after a moment he sighs) Moon. I know you mean well. But—I am not a child. I am not some delicate thing that needs protecting. I can handle myself. Earth can handle herself, we know that. Lunar…more or less. (sighs) But the fact is, our lives are not perfect. Things will happen whether we want them to or not. That’s just how life is. And if you’re so busy going around trying to protect US…then who is going to protect you?

NIGHT: Moon: (Ponders the question in silence) I've… never really considered that, to be honest. I didn't care what happened to me as long as you guys were okay. I can… see why that's a problem, now that I say it out loud… (Sighs) I really screwed up…

ME: Sun: yeah. You did. (he steps and engulfs Moon into a tight hug) but who hasn’t screwed up? I’ve made mistakes. Lunar, too. I’m sure even Earth has. But at the end of the day…we’re still a family, aren’t we? (he squeezes him) You’re a real idiot sometimes, Moon. But you’re still my brother, and you always will be.

NIGHT: Moon: (He hugs him back with his first genuine smile in a long time) Heh, thanks, Sun. I love you, brother

Unbeknownst to any of them, "Solar" is watching them as they leave the bunker. He smiles at the group before fading away…

--The end--

#sams #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #tsams sun #sams sun #tsams moon #sams moon #sams solar #tsams solar #what-if scenario #roleplay sorta #something done for fun #no shipping implied #this is not solarmoon #fnaf sun #fnaf moon

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

WE'RE... WHAT?? ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

summary:

warnings: swearing and i think thats just about it!

a/n: part two of the series is out! im procrastinating the shit out of all my other requests so im not ignoring any of you btw!! lets all collectively ignore the fact that gracie like a post that has a lyric from her song (also damn im really just smashing out these fics)

"y/n has officially flitted off to boston!" clarisse announces suddenly from chris's lap.

"huh?" grover's head snaps up. "what do you mean?"

"y/n l/n, she's come to boston for her concerts," clarisse says showing her phone screen.

"you have got to be shitting me," chris says. "this is going to end terribly. seriously? here? boston? percy's gonna shit himself."

"oh really why would you think that?" clarisse drawls. "it's not like they don't like each other, they're like besties!"

"and y'know to make things worse y/n's setlist has been posted for months so we legit could've avoided her," chris sighs.

"yeah well, next time you see percy and he comes home grumbling about a business meeting in boston you deal with it then," grover argues.

"okay all of you shut it, percy's coming inside with luke so shhh," clarisse snaps.

"shh about what?" luke asks settling down on the couch next to grover.

"you'll never believe who's in boston!" grover sing songs. it doesn't take luke very long to work out who and his eyes widen in realisation

"no."

"yes."

"well shit."

"yep."

"we're in for a show."

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, chris.rodriguez, lukecastellan, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase and 1, 402, 385 others

percyjackson hello boston! one non-reschedulable meeting later and here we are...

view all comments

underovergrover i expect full compensation for making those pizzas WHICH YOU TOOK CREDIT FOR

percyjackson YOU DID NOT! I MADE HALF OF THOSE - MINE WERE BETTER

clarisse.la.rue no they weren't

percyjackson 🖕🏼

user1 ugh im in love

user2 omggg he's in boston!! so is y/n l/n!! are they following each other around?

user3 PLS I WOULD DIE MAKE THIS A THING

user4 i wonder if he's going to a concert here?? 😏

user5 does anyone else find it weird how his entire friend group follows him around?? no just me? they're just a huge freak show

user6 booooo we dont like haters here

user7 y/n l/n and percy neeeeed to happen rnnnn

user8 YES YES YES

lukecastellan im so ready to be done with this shit and go home

theannabethchase aww is someone feeling homesick?

lukecastellan yes obviously

user8 i. love. him.

☾. ⋅

"see i told you this would happen!" grover screeches, running away from percy who is threatening to castrate him if he doesn't get his phone back.

"i don't care! just give me the damn thing back!"

percy had groaned for two straight minutes when he found out that y/n was in boston this weekend - he had also face planted onto the couch and used some extremely obscene words.

"if it helps at least you'll be leaving on sunday," chris had offered in the midst of his crisis. it didn't help.

so now when grover trips over a fallen pillow - which may or may not be from percy's tantrum but we don't talk about that - and percy wrenches the phone from him a loud - and might grover add overtly girly - scream.

"WHAT THE FUCK? NO! NO NO NO NO!"

his screen is on the article grover had opened with really poorly photoshopped images of percy and y/n walking together. every gossip site/blog has swarmed the photos and circulated them sending the internet into a spiral.

"im fucking done with this grover," percy groans flopping onto the couch. "its a good thing we're leaving tomorrow - we'll be back in new york thats a huge ass city i wont see y/n there again and i can just go into hibernation, let all the rumours die down and be done with this whole shit show."

if only right....

☾. ⋅

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by sabrinacarpenter, lia.mandel, gracieabrams and 932, 841 others

yn.official feel like maybe i might go to boston! you were the best audience and im honoured to have performed for you these past two nights! heading home now to rest and recharge for the final shows in new york

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lia.mandel yayy you're finally coming home i missed you 🥺

yn.official bitch please its been like a week

lia.mandel and every second of it has been torture

user1 MOTHERRRR

user2 i think i nearly fainted when she came up on stage i was so happy i coulda died right then-

user3 the lyric makes me so happyyy

user4 ikrr y/n is like the queen of lyrics and the way she sneakily adds them into her posts 🤭

user5 WERE YOU WITH PERCY JACKSON THIS WEEKEND?? 🤨 I NEED TO KNOW

user6 y/n and percy are my dream celebrity ship

user7 they'd be the biggest power couple in history

user8 can you hard launch with percy plss?? i dont care if its fake i just need content to feed my delusions!

☾. ⋅

lia's soft snores fill the plane aggravating the hell out of you. usually you'd find the way she curled up in a ball underneath a blanket and snored quietly to be adorable. but since you're tired, just finished performing a concert and there's a problem with the jet, its grating on your nerves.

you had also been scrolling on twitter, instagram and pinterest, curled up underneath a matching blanket urging something to catch your attention while whatever work was being done on the plane happened.

unfortunately for you the thing that did catch your attention was the dozens of very clearly photoshopped pictures of you and percy walking together on a quiet street in boston.

no way in hell thats real. for one; ew and two; percy was only here for the weekend you were here for the week and you would've had no time to go out in between concerts.

eventually you doze off not realising you're in the air until you're ears pop waking you up to lia grinning mischievously.

"what asshole?"

"you're adorable when you wake up, you know that right?"

"yes i know."

"seriously the cutest human on the planet."

"what do you want lia?"

"a gossip podcast has picked up the subject of you and percy jackson. and the host is saying shit about you."

your eyes widen for a moment. "oh my god what? wow its almost as if i don't care!" ypu give lia a blank look. "this happens every three months lia, i do something and people either love it or hate it. thats the way it goes."

"yeah but this is PERCY JACKSON Y/N! he's gorgeousness personified."

"ugh can i go back to sleep? you can fangirl to me tomorrow when im in bed and pretending to listen."

"im offended." she leans over to place a kiss on your head. "but sleep tight babes, we land in like forty minutes."

shutting your eyes again you drift back to sleep.

only when you wake up do you realise you dreamed of percy...

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you] @lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle, @lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus, @avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, [if you want to be added just let me know!]

#percy x reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy x y/n #percy x you #percy jackson #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson fic #fanfic #fanfiction #emma writes ₊˚⊹⋆ #percy x popstar au ₊ ⊹

[singing-like-a-bird-about-it-now]

Everything about ttpd makes me cringe.

Actively playing into the victim thing by hinting at her ex doing her wrong, when the album wasn't even about him. Doing nothing to prevent the hate he got from the Easter eggs she was leaving, and instead fueling it when she goes on to make it clear he already has mental health issues.

Using an aesthetic that does not relate to the album because poetry and dark academia explore deep emotions, not whatever power trip spiral she's on.

Calling her personal tantrum female rage the musical when female rage is supposed to attribute to the wrongs done to women by virtue of our societal structure.

The fetishism of cheating/wanting someone who is with someone else. How the fuck is fortnight a lead single when it outright says toxic things like 'your wife waters flowers. I want to kill her.'

And just when it can't get worse, the music video. That awful triggering harmful music video. Psychward aesthetic?!?! Thats an aesthetic now? And that too from a woman who has publicly said 'I've never been to a therapist because I just feel very sane?'

Stop. Just stop.

(Also whatever that song was with the hint at outing someone bisexual. Wtf)

#anti taylor swift #ex swiftie #anti ttpd

[yuridovewing]

hollyleaf is a character that i still really love but also makes me go "oh cmon you couldnt have made a better ending for her?

#i can fix her. in my rewrite i can fix her #the concept of a character who was so devoted to the code (which has very horrifying rules included in it) #suddenly discovering that her very existence is violation to the code on not just one but two major accounts #and like before then she'd enforced it on other people and lectured about it and held it so close to how she lived her life #only to have it fall apart and with it goes her mental stability #and not only that she kills a guy. her own clanmate. sheerly to save her and her brothers' skins #not honorably or in battle or anything. and she does this before she even learns who her parents are? #so thats the real start of it. what if she like... HEAVILY regret killing ashfur after she learned #because ''he was right to expose us. we are a sin that must be corrected. he was only looking out for the clan and i killed him for it'' #and it just makes her spiral worse and worse and worse #and she tries to kill leafpool because shes so far gone at that point that whats one more death? at least this codebreaker would deserve it #buuuut sadly most of this is not in the actual text. which suuuuuuuucks bc its so interestinggggg in the context of their societyyyyyy #in my au she lives but i would absolutely have her reconcile with leafpool #her time away in the tunnels would be her being forced to reflect on everything #and specifically being away from clan life just shifts her perspective #and itd take a second but she would reconcile with her bio mom #i think leafpool would forgive her because it's in her nature but like we gotta SEE that happen #idk. hollyleaf. shes fucked up. shes interesting to me #i can fix her.

[agardenofideas]

i hope sunny gets a villain arc if tubbo wont get one fully

like i need her to lash out at every single adult around her for not carring for her pa or her (looking at phil who offered to care for pomme and dapper when he wouldnt for sunny on tubbos Confirmed death), for no one taking her pa seriously, for taking things from them, from her pa until there was nothing left of him.

i need her to lash out at the adults for never seeing her pa hurting and thinking it wasnt serious, i need her to lash out in peoples faces how she had said they were worried for her pa and the adults just said hes like that or he'll get better and he didn't

i want her to lash out and reveal that tubbo said to her he felt more seen and cared about by a fed worker who was learning to have emotions than from any islander around

i want her to burn things, even if not a house and just a wood she placed down to set fire, i want her to do that, i want her to blow things up and lash out and be heard

cuz if being a good girl for her pa ends with them unheard and him dead then she will be heard now and once this thing called Creation gets her pa back to her, she is not letting him go

if any of the adults who didnt do anything to get him back cared for him in life and cared just a bit in death, they dont deserve to see her pa back again, he is sunny's and sunny's alone

i want sunny to spew vitrol and fire and to lash out at everyone, she deserves to go on a murderous rampage too as a treat

#qsmp sunny #tubbo #mostly as a mention #qsmp #look- she went through a lot #being from purgatory #isolated from most eggs and the ones she did meet most rejected her (ik tallulah said give more time- but as an ND myself- rejection) #it feels like rejection- anyways- #she tried so hard to make friends or get along and any time she did it just- failed so bad #sure chayanne and ramon like her lots and such and she has em and pepi- but- #out of all the eggs she could meet who were new to her- only 2 she knew liked her- out of 6 eggs only 2 #(that she knew and it took a while to know too- as well as later meet more eggs that would like her too-) #and then her dad is on a depression spiral #and then he is taken from her against his will and on their final day before hes gone they get attacked #and then hes gone for *days* #he comes back and hes worse #no one takes this hurting seriously even when she reached out for fit but he just brushed it off or made light- #and then forever kidnapps the eggs to work and then dapper is taken and no one knows where #her dad gets a bit better btu then hes back to being bad #people keep messing with him too #and it just hurts in ways ya know #and then they are taken to prison #oh yea- and she had her mom as a corpse in her front yard basically #anyways- prison she finally meets her other dad after months of being on quesadilla #everyone presses button and then are in a library and the eggs are just on the prone bodies of their parents #(tubbo died in same position that he sleeps in) #(sunny deffinetly curled up in his dead arms as she did when he sleeps. hes just sleeping. please shes just sleeping and this is a dream) #i want her to finally go ape shit #she would still be kind but she would have no mercy or simpathy to give anymore #no one will trample on them anymore

[lovesickeros]

☆ lost in orbit

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings violence [ implied ], unhealthy relationship {☆} word count 0.6k

She had resigned herself to apathy – to burying her love beneath the cold, hard soil and letting it rot amongst the graves of a long dead civilization, burned to ash in only a day. Yet how quickly it all fell apart in her hands, slipping through her fingers like sand, no matter how desperately she tried to cling to it.

Was she not diligent enough? Was she so weak that she faltered at the first person who showed her genuine trust and affection? Had all her work been for naught?

A part of her revolts – the same woman who watched the sky burn and the ground beneath her feet crumble into ash. It would be so easy to wrap her hands around your delicate throat, to squeeze until you finally saw her as the monster she knew she has always been.

Yet she doesn't think she could. The look of betrayal, of fear..oh, it would ruin her, she knows.

Perhaps that makes her weak. Perhaps you have made her weak.

Perhaps she does not mind as much as she should.

You trust her, after all – enough to sleep in her bed like she couldn't just kill you before you ever knew what was happening to you. Your body was so..fragile, in this mortal shell you descended in. How easy it would be to snuff out your life, here and now.

Yet she doesn't.

Instead, she looks at you like an old lover – with all the love of a woman who had died in the ashes of a dying civilization, of a woman who thought she could love no longer. Emotions she fought so hard to suppress well up in her chest and fill the empty space where she knows her heart should beat. Try as she might – and oh, how she tries – she can never quite stem the affection that consumes her every waking moment when she sees you.

It is like an addiction that she cannot rid herself of, no matter how she tries. She always finds herself back at square one – back to you.

Her hand lingers against your cheek, undue affection filling the empty spaces in her chest until she feels like cannot breathe. She traces her hand along your jaw, her vision narrowed on the softness of your lips.

Yet that same thought rises unbidden to the forefront of her thoughts. Love was a dangerous thing – you both knew that. To let it fester and rot her from within..she would be throwing her plans out the window, and for what?

Because she was too weak? Because the affection and trust in your eyes whenever your looked at her made her feel whole, like she was more then just an Archon playing God with the fate of the world?

You do not even stir as her thoughts toil like a brewing storm. She swallows the lump in her throat, removing her hand like she'd just touched a piece of hot metal. A part of her still screams that it's for the best, that you've corrupted her enough, torn apart her plans in the span of a week, a mere blink in time..

But it goes silent as she leans in, pressing her lips to your cheek. She will not let the thought fester, tonight – she will let herself be weak, if only for another day. If only to covet the affection that she finds herself drowning in for just another day.

And when you stir, she pretends that she had never thought of it at all, that she has only ever known love with you. Even if her heart that does not beat leaves a stabbing pain in her chest in the agony of knowing that even this is futile..

She lets you wake, let's the recognition and the affection fill your vision until she is all you see – two stars locked in orbit, unable to break away.

And when the day comes that you collide, she will be holding the blade that drives into your chest, and she will know nothing but love when she does.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #tsaritsa #fellas is it gay to think abt murdering ur lover bc u love them so much #everyone hcing that her lover died in khaenri'ah but what if she killed them.. #tsaritsa killing her lover so they dont have to walk down the same path and suffer the consequences when celestia retaliates>>> #tsaritsa killing her lover bc to her them dying is better then living and she refuses to let them be corrupted by going down the same path #i just think shes a little silly!!! a little goofy!!!! i forgive her #theres just smth abt tragic lesbians and also tragic lesbians whose tragedy is one of their own making #yknow :) #but at the SAME TIME. her lover dying and wanting her to move on and LIVE but shes so spiteful shes willing to destroy herself to #destroy celestia. she doesnt care abt what happens to her bc if her lover isnt there with her then what does it matter? she has nothing lef #to lose. #characters who become their lover would hate bc living in a world without them is agony>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #also i only tagged unhealthy relationship bc the tsaritsa is. unhinged but shes actually v normal in the relationship #she loves u!!!! and shes a good lover!!! she just thinks abt killing u sometimes bc she loves too much and its easier to kill u now vs lose #you later on where it will hurt WORSE #also bc smth smth she thinks itll make it hurt less if she kills you vs someone else bc she would actually LOSE IT if someone hurt u #spoilers it does not and she spirals and is haunted by what shes done and constantly tries to lie to herself to justify it. it does not wor #did i scare off the normal ppl w this one.......maybe!!!!! #i meant morally grey at best when i said morally grey at best!! #crawls back into my ditch okay im shutting up now

[krikeymate]

In the “billy parents the girls” au, I wonder how Sam and Billy would react to Tara being attacked by ghostface? Like one overprotective and “slightly” unstable family member wasn’t enough.

Somebody knows.

That's his first thought. Maybe he should have known something would happen on the 20th anniversary. He never thought it would come back to him. After all, there was a 'Ghostface attack' just five years prior, and it was all about Sidney. Why wouldn't it continue to be all about Sidney? Billy's dead after all.

He should have moved out of Woodsboro. It's always been risky, staying. But this was his home, and by the time he'd given up entertaining the thought of revenge against Sidney, he'd put down roots. He'd thought about moving a few years ago, when the last attacks happened and the police started sniffing around for information, but the girls had friends here, and Sam's never quite treated him the same since she learnt the truth. She would never have agreed to leave.

So here he is, staring Deputy Judy Hicks right in the face, unrecognised. God these people must be stupid, to look him right in the eyes and still not see him. He manages to talk his way back into the house with a well-placed quip about the absence of their good Sheriff and a reminder that his 14-year-old daughter, her own son's friend, who was attacked, is going to need some comforts of home and her inhaler.

He pauses to take in the murder scene on the way. He memorises the pattern of blood soaked into the living room carpet, the outline of his little girl, the kitchen knife abandoned on the floor. His own knife. They used his own knife on his daughter. When he finds out who did this, he's going to make them pay.

He packs a bag, he packs Tara's essentials, a change of clothes for Sam and the teddy bear she denies sleeping with. He heads for his own room to get some things, and that's when he learns somebody really does know.

Because Billy is scrawled across his bedroom wall in red.

Red is all he sees.

#/mp #ask box #Billy Loomis #AU: the past in the present #the tags tag #I love making baby Tara be attacked. it's so tragic. #the urge to make Sidney Ghostface here is astronomical lmao #anyway what are the logistics of there being two Mr Carpenters in Woodsboro technically and both have been seen being a father to Sam? Idk. #Billy's like 'Christina had a type what can I say'. Her husband left because he discovered the truth and he got to step up. #God I have so many thoughts about where this could go now actually #Like say it WAS Sidney. Who couldn't take knowing Billy was out there still. After everything she just couldn't take it. #She was never going to kill the girl. She just wanted to injure her. Scare her. Get Billy's attention. #But the girl fought back with unexpected ferocity. Things got out of hand. Billy uncovers her in the end and finally gets his revenge. #Gale and Dewey are distraught. Gale investigates. She discovered the truth. Billy Loomis is alive. She reveals it to the world. #Billy finally gets arrested. Tara doesn't take the reveal well. #Sam is old enough to take custody of her sister. She does her best. It isn't good enough. They both spiral. #Just a few years later her sister gets attacked AGAIN. This time it's so much worse. #Her injuries are so much more severe and the perpetrators were people they loved. It wasn't even about Billy this time. #It was about some fucking movie. #Sam moves them to New York after that. But everyone knows who they are. The daughters of a serial killer. With a body count of their own. #There's just no escape.

[theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome]

Kang Yo Han is the walking embodiment of I'm Not Okay (I Promise) and relates to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge far more than is healthy. In this essay I will-

#twabbbiih's edit #tdj #the devil judge #tw blood #kang yohan #kang yo han #a character study via legendary emo classic Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge #I put so much effort into this I really hope the fandom enjoys it #I know I don't exactly go here in a big way but guys please #girl does a tdj rewatch for the fun of it and spirals so far into making bad edits she has to try and figure out how to just get the text #from an album cover to make a mock one like some unhinged loser who barely knows how editing software works #you guys have NO IDEA #I spent an entire night pestering mid-n0vember about how this album is perfect for KYH 2 years ago and so finally I did something about it #to the end has especially been rattling around my brain for WAY TOO LONG because that is not a house or home to KYH #it's a constant reminder of the people he's lost and the horrors he suffered due to the utter shithead that was his father #ive been debating between 2 edits i did for that song for two nights and I've ended up picking the more literal one because I didn't want #too many close up images of peoples faces for this. but just know there is a file on this laptop of kyh crying while hes literally haunted #by memories of his father #I really did try to use a shot from the knife scene for the album cover because it would have been SO GOOD as a mirror to the original albu #however my editing skills are not good enough to make the background less distracting and I'm working with not HD images so it looked worse #so a moments silence for what could have been #no one asked but its 2am and that means oversharing so #Interlude absolutely had to be the on a line by itself because despite everything else going on with KYH keeping Elijah save is Rule One #it's supposed to kind of overshadow everything else because keeping her safe and unaware of Certain Things absolutely does for him #whether it actually translates is a different matter #kgo being on his knees (yet again) is what swung it for that picture otherwise it would have been kyh looking on as jae hee grabs her

[milkbreadtoast]

ive always seen ppl wish for an ouran season 2 but personally i hope they never do jsbfjdj

#s1 is like a time capsule #lets just leave it <3 2006 gem (which has problematic stuff that didnt age well but is still so dear to my heart) #its bc i know how the manga ends dkfbdj #haruhi marries tamaki and grows out her hair and has babies and becomes a housewife or smth #just thinking abt it makes me spiral i dont want to see it #ill pass☺️😇😁 #oh god even worse i hope it never gets a reboot like fruits basket

[thenamesrory]

i may just be the only person who preferred, or at least was more interested in, yale rory.

#she’s so overhated #all she is is a direct product of how she was raised and treated #she grew up surrounded by praise and was basically the princess of stars hollow #and then she gets to yale and is no longer the best or the smartest #and so she starts to fall behind and the thought of falling behind makes her even worse #she’s already lost without this praise but she becomes even worse when mitchum comes into the mix #because he confirms her fears that she may not be as great as she/everyone thinks she is #and so she spirals #she is so realistic and i’m done hearing people complain about her just because she isn’t cute and young anymore #she makes mistakes… lots of them- but she’s still herself #and i prefer her because of her complexity and how realistic she is #gilmore girls #rory gilmore #yale rory gilmore

[seaseren]

Ok also it's something that I've been thinking about and I think something that would have helped Gridania a lot is a rival faction. Like Ul'dah, you instantly have two factions that function pretty effective as good guys and bad guys. Limsa is less clear cut, but its made clear that while the Admiral is the leader, there's a bunch of pirate crews and trying to get them all to work together is like herding cats, because they all have their own priorities and rivalries and such. Gridania has...Kan-E-Senna, who's the boss, and then....nothing. Nobody for her to play off, nobody for us to contrast her against and go "oh, so this is what she's dealing with and why she can't just solve every issue." Like if there was some kinda powerful, entrenched Hearer community that was opposing her, or a faction propping someone else up as Elder Seedseer, or just any kind of force that makes us go "oh no! we're in your corner, Kan-E-Senna!" instead she's just the figurehead for a system where Bad Things Happen- and unlike everywhere else, where we can point to causes or reasons why solutions wouldn't work so easily, the takeaway from most of Gridania's issues has to be "Kan-E-Senna is just bad at doing her job."

#ffxiv #like I guess. I like the Elementals in theory and I think making them evil makes for a more boring story #but also they do a very very bad job of showing us why Gridania's issues cant be like. dealt with. #Like if the primary issue is prejudice against Duskwrights and Mooncats and Ixal and stuff leading to a negative spiral #of 'marginalized group needs resources' to 'elementals get angry that they're overstepping the treaties' to 'gridanians treat them worse' #then maybe like. address that. #and I just think if we had a face for more conservative gridanians #to say 'we should just drive those people out of the black shroud! the elementals will it!" #then we could have Kan-E trying to argue against them and find a more peaceful solution for everyone #and go 'oh! she sees the issues in her community and she's trying!'

[lesbiansanemi]

Oh god. I have to see my family in three days

#if you guys start to see a spiraling mental breakdown starting on Christmas Eve #mind ya business #every time I see my siblings I just get more and more upset #and feel more and more bitter over my mother #it’s been 6 months since I last saw them #wonder how much has changed since then. wonder how much worse they are #also I’m worried my sister will bring her boyfriend to Christmas dinner #he’s like. fine I guess. the same kind of shitty as her but whatever #it was easier to ignore that I won’t ever be able to bring a partner when none of my siblings were old enough to do so #now that they ARE doing it. it makes it…. yeah #seeing my grandma interact with him and being happy and chatty #but knowing if I ever brought MY gf it would be a fucking disaster #unless I lied and said she was just a friend. which is shitty enough anyways #but wouldn’t even work my mom and aunt and sister would still make shitty snide comments when my grandparents weren’t around #ugh #I should stop thinking about this #I’m just making myself mad #kaz rambles

[spaceratprodigy]

one of my favorite things abt how faith reacts to max in fallbrook arc is her being directly faced with her own hypocrisy

#I am a faith apologist but also she's whack fr #like girl you haven't been honest about yourself or your past either 💅 #she's very evasive when she's the topic of conversation #not that she outright lies but she avoids questions or answers as vaguely as possible #just because she kinda learned early in Edgewater the consequences of her trying to be truthful about her life #and how unglamorously people react #figured adopting the mysterious persona and isolating herself was her only option #because phineas was the only person she could talk to the only person who understood to some extent what she was going through #and to add to it.. #her own history with violence and anger #and even tho she became a very numb quiet distant persom because of her own past #halcyon got it's hands on her and cut her deeply and awakened a certain fire in her for better or for worse #excluding how often she has to defend herself for a variety of reasons and how it makes her feel.. #punching nelson (twice) + shooting hortense between the eyes + shooting tilda in the knee.. #girl you're not exactly a great role model at having control over your violent tendencies either 💅 #but there's something so raw abt her and max just.. knowing those feelings intimately.. and not wanting it for the other.. #defending each other.. seeing the good in each other.. /knowing/ the good in each other.. #understanding how messy and complicated they are and then understanding why and just ough bringing out the best in each other #reaching a point where they can breathe and heal and not be in such a spiraling pain anymore they can just be loved and be themselves #unapologetically. caged no longer. being harmed no longer. by others or by themselves. and taking it out on others no longer #anyway #what I'm saying is.. #the call is coming from inside the house.. #yes he had an entire revenge scheme and lied abt his intentions.. but like.. he's also holding a mirror up to her face #SORRY I just love thinking abt how complicated cap faith is lmao she's a very broken soul who is trying her best in an unfortunate situatio #the way she handles her own traumas and griefs just isn't pretty and that's a whole other can of worms she's constantly faced with #rambling #faith and max

[kaeyaphile]

if anyone knows anything re: filing for disability (or whatever the proper term is) in the usa i’d appreciate any help or advice because i just got fired from my job and it has gotten to the point that i think i am way too chronically ill to work for the time being and i honestly have no idea what to do

#kayleigh.txt #i have an appointment with my rheumatologist on halloween so i may just wait and ask her honestly #but like. i have been severely depressed and stressed for months and it is taking an astronomical toll on both my physical and mental health #and now i have been fired which. is making everything so much worse #because stress + chronic illnesses = death basically especially in my case #i plan on reapplying to the job i just got fired from once i’ve gotten shit under control #but it has been a downhill spiral all year and i genuinely want to die lmfao #definitely do not want to be on disability permanently but i need SOME form of income while we figure out actual treatment plans

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing #ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like #visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do #so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible #mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done #but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing #how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate #and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem #it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research #assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head #and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck #it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing? #i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads #to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood? #hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing? #idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed #bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me #so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a #slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would #b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh. #unrelated