#but knowing if I ever brought MY gf it would be a fucking disaster

[lesbiansanemi]

Oh god. I have to see my family in three days

#if you guys start to see a spiraling mental breakdown starting on Christmas Eve #mind ya business #every time I see my siblings I just get more and more upset #and feel more and more bitter over my mother #it’s been 6 months since I last saw them #wonder how much has changed since then. wonder how much worse they are #also I’m worried my sister will bring her boyfriend to Christmas dinner #he’s like. fine I guess. the same kind of shitty as her but whatever #it was easier to ignore that I won’t ever be able to bring a partner when none of my siblings were old enough to do so #now that they ARE doing it. it makes it…. yeah #seeing my grandma interact with him and being happy and chatty #but knowing if I ever brought MY gf it would be a fucking disaster #unless I lied and said she was just a friend. which is shitty enough anyways #but wouldn’t even work my mom and aunt and sister would still make shitty snide comments when my grandparents weren’t around #ugh #I should stop thinking about this #I’m just making myself mad #kaz rambles

[howisavedtheworld]

i got you | matsukawa issei

genre: fluffy 2 the max, fem!reader x frat guy!mattsun (but not like the annoying disgusting frat guys LFSJDFJS) college!au  

warnings: alcohol/drinking, drunk ass reader sfsjdfsd, its really up to you if its underage LOL 

a/n: matsukawa is the love of my life. i know he would take good care of his gf if she was drunk as hell. im undecided if i like how this came out but im posting anyways! ty for reading :D

wc: 1.4k (crazy bc i wanted it to be less than 1k lol oops)

you are not a disaster drunk. 

at least, that is what you’d known to be true in all your years of alcohol consumption. oftentimes, you were the assigned mother of the group when your friends spent a night downing shots in a sleazy bar. you’d held back hair and kept a colossal number of heads from falling into public toilet seats when their escapades turned left. 

it wasn’t like you quite minded either. 

you figured it was better to be the safe haven than the one needing saving.

matsukawa issei, on the other hand, is a downright disaster drunk. 

every time he passes his limit, which he often does, he loses most of his motor functions, and becomes heavily reliant on anybody willing. every word he does manage to get out is followed by a hiccup. then a burp. and finally, a foreshadowing gag. 

you’d seen it before, and frequently had to drag his disorderly six foot frame to bed after he hurled into your toilet. 

you knew what you were signing up for. 

after all, you’d met him at his very own frat party. 

he’d been drunk enough to spill an entire white claw on you and promptly begged to make it up to you with your favorite drink of all time. you had to explain to him that it wasn’t an alcoholic beverage, but he still insisted on treating you anyways. 

eventually, he became your boyfriend and you adored him despite his inability to drink in moderation. 

the only thing that you found semi-endearing about his inebriation was the fact that he forgets that the two of you are separate beings. instead, he clings to you like duct tape, his burly arms clutching your waist and head lolling back and forth between your shoulder and neck affectionately. 

he especially likes to speak when drunk, slurring and whining things along the lines of: 

“you are so pretty, you do know that, right?”

“how did i get so damn lucky?” 

“you’re the best girlfriend ever.” 

a sliver of you considers that he says these things purely out of intoxication, but you like to believe a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. 

you never brought these moments back up to issei in fear of his dismissal of them. instead, you cherish them secretly, stroking his curls while he lays with his head in your chest when the night finally ends. 

you continue to indulge these whimsical scenarios in which he actually does mean the things he says, and it works for a while. the little untold truth feels harmless. 

it isn’t until the roles were reversed that you find yourself in a frenzy. 

hanamaki, issei’s best friend from high school and another member of his frat, decides to throw a party for his 21st birthday. that meant booze was oozing from every corner of the enormous communal house, and sweaty bodies were scattered around every inch. 

issei had told you prior to the party that he actually wasn’t going to drink, explaining that he was still recovering from the previous night in which he and hanamaki drank a dangerous amount that left him vomiting for hours. 

“this night,” he exclaimed earlier that day with a foolish grin. “this night is yours, babe.”

you’d had a stressful week anyways, and figured you might as well take advantage of the free alcohol.

it had been a while since you’d drank. naturally, you’d forgotten the importance of pacing. 

though the shots initially burned in the back of your throat, everything you downed started to taste more and more like water and the space around you felt less and less tangible. you were sure mattsun had been at your side all night, but time blurred to a point where you knew little of what was truly going on.   

unsure of how much you drank, your eyes eventually opened to see you were slumped against issei’s broad shoulders with your legs wrapped around his waist. 

“i cant believe it, babe.” a strong hand rubbed circles into your back as he hiked you up the stairs leading to his apartment. “i thought you only drank a few shots, but next thing i knew you were just gone. look how the tables turned, am i right?”

he let out a soft chuckle, finally reaching the door of his room. your head was spinning rapidly, and you groaned, trying to move back to make sense of the space around you.

he lets out a curious hum, but a hand moves to keep your head in place. 

“no can do, babe.” the sound of a key jingling and door shifting lets you know you’ve finally made it back. “i’m glad you’re up, but if you move too quickly, you might vomit. i got you.”

you let out a whine, but your head drops back into the dip of issei’s shoulder. 

how had you gotten this fucked up? 

again, you didn’t mind taking care of him or any of your other friends, understanding the nature of college, but to be on the receiving end meant to endure your self-inflicted humiliation. 

“alright, let’s get you some water. oh wait—no, i might have some gatorade left in the fridge.” he mumbles to himself, navigating around the kitchen island.

your eyes fluttered, far too heavy to open, and your body focused instead on processing the sounds around you. 

the fridge opening. 

a soft tsk. 

tap water flowing.

the soft pad of his feet.

a door opening. 

he had finally softly situated you (or at least tried to) in his bed, but a heavy pang ravaged your skull from the change in position, forcing you to loudly groan. 

issei hummed knowingly, and his hand quickly moved to support the back of your head.

“here, baby. here. can you drink this for me?” he coaxed. 

your eyes blinked open to see him holding a glass of water closely to your face, straw dangling in front of your lips. 

you complied, hoping the water would make your insufferable headache dissipate. 

“that’s it, thank you. drink it all if you can. if you want more, i’ll get you more.”

you do finish the glass, and your head falls back into the hand behind it.

you’re too ashamed to look at him, but you feel his eyes on you.

the empty glass against the table.

his soft breathing. 

“you feeling okay, baby? do you think you wanna throw up?”

you shake your head carefully, fearing too much movement would trigger another session of heavy pulsating. 

“okay, baby. i’m here. whatever you need.”

his hand behind your head tenderly found its way to your scalp, softly massaging the skin. 

you had no idea, but you were letting out appreciative sighs. 

“that feels nice, babe? okay, i’ll keep going then.” 

you finally got enough of a grip on yourself to glance up at him. 

he was staring down at you lovingly, lips turned upward in an unabashed smile. 

there was no hint of the shame or disappointment you feared he would have towards you. actually, the only thing you could sense from him was love. 

“i-issei.” you managed to whisper. 

“yeah?” he softly spoke, looking at you expectantly.

“i’m sorry.” 

he shakes his head in disbelief, immediately moving to sit in front of you. 

“sorry for what? for having a stressful week? being a college student?” he let out an exasperated laugh, fingers still rubbing your scalp.

“you don’t have to apologize to me. how many times have you done this for me? you’re my girlfriend. i’ll always take care of you, you know? i’m lucky i even have you. sometimes i don’t even believe it.” he murmured.

“that i got you. the kindest, most beautiful girl in this world. that you gave me, some random guy in a frat your time of day. i’m always shocked. thank you for choosing me.” 

your body froze at the impromptu confession, and your feelings of chagrin and fear dissolved into nothingness. 

it was evident that issei loved you, that his drunk words didn’t even compare to his sober ones.  

“i love you.” you weakly whispered back.

he leaned in to press a light kiss to your forehead. 

“i love you, too. you know i got you, babe.” he said, smiling. “forever.”

#matsukawa issei x reader #haikyuu x reader #mattsukawa issei #matsukawa issei fluff #not sure how to tag yet lol #haikyuu!! #haikyuu!! x reader #matsukawa x reader

[buddielove]

Hi! I'm a gay fan of 911 and I have a question about the whole Buddie fandom. As much as I like Buck and Eddie, it's frustrating that a HUGE part of the fandom is pushing for these two characters to get together instead of putting energy into supporting Hen & Carla and Michael & Dave. Not to mention Carlos and TK in Lone Star. Can you explain to me the appeal of wanting these two men together? Wouldn't it be more interesting to see two heterosexual males just be able to bond in a non-toxic fashion? That's something we don't get to see often on television.

Hey! This is MAD long lmao I am so sorry! You caught me on a day I felt like talking! Also this took like a year to answer you lolololol. This does have a few ʻhot takesʻ so please be warned! So like in this essay....

So first I am also apart of the LGBTQIA+ community, so I do understand how it could come across as a fetish or being non supportive of the current canonically LGBTQIA+ characters, however I think a lot of the interest around Buddie and the want for them to be confirmed as a couple is how they are being written. Me personally I knew since s2 e1 Buck and Eddie were written not as rivals but as two people who would eventually become friends, but it wasn’t until the Christmas episode with the elf assuming Buck was Chris’s dad and Eddie’s partner that I was like ‘hold on!’ because I was really hoping Abbey would return and I didn’t see Eddie as a possible Buck live interest because of that. The elf’s comment wasn’t played off like most other shows would (think Dean and Sam arriving anywhere in Supernatural) it made me go back and look at the other episodes to see exactly how Buck and Eddie were being framed/written. And as we have moved into further seasons I think there has been a shift in how Buddie is being written, in s3 it was very much like two people progressing into a deeper friendship then the blood clot/lawsuit gets in the way and they both have to deal with emotions surrounding that, then Buck’s response to Eddie being trapped (we see how is he when Boddy is trapped in a fire WITH A GUNMAN, it’s emotional but not to the point is is with Eddie), even the love interests feel very pushed on us and there’s so little banter between Buddie about their gfs and how they feel about these new beginnings. It feels off, not like a friendship in the slightest, more like two people trying to force something and not wanting to deal with any other feelings. Then when Eddie gets shot and reveals Buck is Chris’s legal Guardian in the event Eddie dies, that’s huge, and he did this after only a year of knowing Buck (I have friends with kids. I’ve known one of them for FIVE years, I’m at their house every week, the kid calls me family. I’m person #10 on the list of ‘who gets my kid if I die’, not #1 lol) It just feels like it’s all building up to something, and people are getting tired of waiting for that something! We’re all emotionally tired from the past two years, and probably from many shows queerbaiting us and this is something that could happen, seems to be something the actors are ok with and the fans want. So why do they keep drawing it out. This isn’t about us demanding they ignore the chance to write a healthy platonic male friendship, or forcing two characters to be gay, it’s about holding the writers to what they’ve implied and seeing what could come of it.

Also think of it like this; If Buddie is confirmed it will still be a good example of a healthy friendship which then developed into something else, like Booth/Bones! Showing the natural progression of friendship to relationship that happens a lot in real life. It’s two men who previously (on screen at least) have only been with woman, but now they have an emotionally connection with someone which they then develop and explore. This could be 911’s first nontoxic depiction of two gay characters coming together, because sorry not sorry the canon couples aren’t perfect (which does humanize them) but they also reenforce harmful troupes that plaque the LGBTQIA+ community, which I’m sure you understand: TK was a drug addict, who only got with Carlos at first cause he was hot and sex was TK’s new addition (all gay men are sex addicts who do drugs and sleep with anything that moves). Carlos was ashamed and wanted to keep TK on the downlow (poc gay men want to pretend to be straight but have free access to gay sex). Hen cheated on Karen seemingly the first chance she got (lesbians can’t handle monogamy when pushed, and cheat on their long term partners). All known and documented troupes that happen far too often.

I’m not saying Buddie is some gay jesus ship that’s gonna save the entertainment industry but if done right it could prove to be one of the few healthy depictions of two men getting into a gay relationship we have. If they plan it out correctly, show us the relationship development, like they did with Maddie/Chim for example, Buddie could be used as a positive example of a gay fictional relationship (I really could go into depth about this. I probably should tbh).

As for not supporting Hen and KAREN, or Michael and DAVID, I think fans do support them! The writers don’t. If you read fanfics Henren and Michael/David are featured heavily in many fics, and ik some people might say ‘well they’re only there so Buddie can talk about their gay side!!’ but both these couples have their own fans and fanfic tags! They aren’t just plot devices in Buddie stories. There is a huge side of the fandom that supports Henren and wants to see more of them and their family. Same with Michael and David, during the episode where Michael and Bobby team up to find that plastic surgeon who was working illegally many people where ecstatic that we were getting more Michael/David content and that David was getting more than a couple lines. But sadly it seems like the writers only want to delve into these story lines when they need filler, they even miss opportunities to include these other LGBTQIA+ characters when it makes sense;

(Someone came for me about this but I am going to bring it up again)

When Chris is sad and wants more human connection, instead of bring Harry + Michael/David and Denny+Nia+Henren back into the picture (and yes I understood at the time the pandemic was bad (lmao still is!!), but all the actors at some point would have/had crossed over into each other’s ‘bubbles’, so ALL the actors would have been exposed to each other so getting the children together with adults they had ALREADY been with during shooting wouldn’t have been a super spreader event) but instead they brought in Ana after only two on screen dates and pretended like it was a logical thing for someone who’s up to that point been extremely careful with their child.

They really could have pushed the ‘118 is a family!’ message here and included the canonically gay supporting characters, and the lesbian main character(s) but they did not and instead chose to push the Ana/Eddie coupling even though they hadn’t properly developed it yet. The writers themselves don’t seem to care about developing their canonically gay characters and including them more than they have to but fans are continuously developing Henren and Michael/David with hc and fics.

I’d like to use your logic against you for a second, in s1 we have a very healthy, platonic friendship between Chim/Bobby but that got written out to the point they are more like boss/employee unless the scene calls for them to seem closer, we now have Bobby and Michael friendship but again we hardly see Michael. On Lone Star we have Owen and Judd as a really, really good example of a healthy male friendship but we see Judd more often with Tommy now then we do with Owen, and in s2 it’s overshadowed by Owen trusting Charlie from Twilight and constantly getting fucked over! Why can’t the writter just be happy with these happy, healthy, emotionally well male-male friendship they’ve already included and expand upon them. There’s enough drama because the show literally involves burning buildings and people’s lives being at risk from some natural/man made disaster ever 12 seconds. Does it need to have so much interpersonal conflict and male peacocking??

#Buddie #Please donʻt get offended by anything in this!!! #These are JUST my opinions which MAY change the further we get into this show!! #ALSO IT IS JUST A TV SHOW!!!! PLEASE BE KIND TO ME AND TO EACH OTHER

[queenxxxsupreme]

Hi!!!! Can I suggest some soft Yenn/Reader? Maybe Yenn has some tangles in her hair so Reader (her gf or bff honestly don’t mind which!!) helps detangle them and braids her hair before they settle in for the night?

A/N: I’m so soft for Yenn :(

***

“Fucking hell!” 

You lifted your head from the book in your hands to find Yennefer sitting at the vanity at the end of the bed. 

“What’s the matter, darling?” You asked her.

“I’m just frustrated! Why can’t anything ever go right for me?” She pulled the brush through her thick hair once more and it became caught on a tangle. She ripped the brush out with a few more curses and all but threw it down onto the vanity. 

You put the bookmark between the two pages you were reading and put the book down on the bed beside you. You slipped from the bed, quietly moving around the bed to get to the vanity. 

“Darling, you need more patience.” You kissed the top of her head while you reached around her to grab the brush. 

“What I need is for the gods damned universe to not be against me for one day!”

You said nothing and instead, you parted her hair into two sections. 

She fell silent, allowing you to begin brushing her hair. You were gentle with her, careful to not pull any of her hair. 

“Are you still upset about Ciri?”

The mage let out a heavy sigh. 

“She’s still mad at me for not letting her go into town on her own.”

“Geralt told her no too.” You reminded her.

“But she thinks I made him say no.” Yennefer brought her hand up to rub her temple. “Why am I always the bad guy?”

“Ciri is young and she wants to grow. She doesn’t know that you tell her she needs someone with her is for her safety.” You carefully brought the brush through her hair again.

Yennefer was quiet and for a while, you didn’t think she’d bring up the subject again.

“What if she grows up and we aren’t as close as we are now?” She murmured quietly.

“Yenn, you know that won’t happen. She loves you dearly. She’s just…. She’s at that age where she thinks she doesn’t need you anymore, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.” You moved to put the brush down now that her hair was tangle free. 

Yennefer turned her head to look at you, a little smile barely there on her red stained lips.

“When did you become so knowledgeable on children?”

“When the love of my life became a mother to a very stubborn and strong little girl.” You smiled back at her, giving her a little kiss on the lips. “Can I braid your hair before we lay down?”

She nodded softly. 

“I know you were just frustrated earlier, darling.” You started, your fingers sliding through her dark hair. “But things do go right for you. Maybe not always, but you do have a good life.”

“I know.” She sighed. “I was just frustrated. I have plenty to be thankful for. My life has meaning. Ciri, Geralt…. Even Jaskier…. And you.” 

Your eyes flickered up to catch hers in the mirror. You smiled a little more and your stomach fluttered. 

“I’m thankful you’re so patient with me.” She told you. “I know I’m not the easiest to be around.”

“If I wanted easy, I would have settled down with the man my parents wanted me to marry.” You assured her. “I like the challenge you bring, no matter how difficult it is.”

She laughed softly. 

You finished braiding her hair and tied the bottom of it. 

“There. Are you ready for bed?”

She nodded, standing to her feet. She didn’t let you move too far away from her. Her fingers laced with yours and she leaned in to kiss you. 

“I love you.”

“I love you.” You leaned against her for a moment, kissing her cheek. Your hand slipped around her waist, hand pressing flat to the small of her back. You pulled her in a little closer.

You stayed like that for a few moments, listening to her even breathing and enjoying her warmth. 

Then she started to move, taking your hand from her back to hold. She tugged you towards the bed. 

You smiled at her, giving her hand a little squeeze. 

How lucky, you thought, to be able to call this woman yours.

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an–actual–human–disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @she-wolfoftheinquisition @titaniafire

#yennefer x reader #yennefer x reader fluff #yennefer of vengerberg x reader #yennefer fluff #the witcher #kacey answers #anon #1200 followers celebration

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 30

First

Previous

Next

It wasn’t until she was at work that Ladybug had seen the video.

Sure, she’d felt the familiar buzz of her phone in her pocket. She assumed it was telling her that one of her housemates had uploaded a video to TikTok, but she hadn’t thought much of it. It was Chat’s usual upload time. And, yeah, she definitely intended to watch Chat’s video at some point. It was bound to be some cute animal. But she was at work, so...

Then, to her surprise, her phone continued to buzz. Nino, probably, she didn’t know many other people she still talked to consistently and he had no reservations about double texting (or triple texting, or quadruple texting, or --).

She needed to hold off until she was done with her meeting with the Tsurugis. They were choosing their outfits for some kind of gala that Gabriel Agreste was going to be holding for the holidays.

(She gave very few clients the option of choosing between multiple designs, really. They were only going to choose one so the others would likely be scrapped, so she usually did one and then either took their critiques or went back to the designing phase… but the Tsurugis honestly kind of scared her so...)

As the two looked over their choices, she began to get curious.

She asked if she could take a call and, once they said that it would be alright, she slipped outside. She made sure she was a little bit away before leaning against the wall and pulling out her phone.

Obviously she wasn’t ACTUALLY going to call, it’s not the dark ages, but she did check her texts.

As she suspected, it was Nino.

Ninomorepuns: hey

Ninomorepuns: hey

Ninomorepuns: poppet

Ninomorepuns: hey poppet

Ninomorepuns: hey

Poppet: WHAT

Ninomorepuns: oh shit it worked

Poppet: I was at work what the duck do you want

Poppet: *fuck

Ninomorepuns: duck

Poppet: stfu. just tell me what you want I’m still at work and I need to go back soon

Ninomorepuns: did you see the new tiktok chat noir uploaded

She clicked her tongue irritably. Really? This was about the TikTok account? Sure, she could expect this from someone like Rena, but Nino?

Ninomorepuns: i think youd be interested in it since it has your gf in it

When did she get a girlfriend? And why wasn’t she told --?

Oh, wait. Right. She’d told Nino that she had a crush on Ladybug once to explain why she was running towards akumas instead of away from them.

An embarrassed blush spread across her face at the memory. She should have thought of a better lie --.

Wait, fuck, SHE was Ladybug. Chat had uploaded something about her?!

She pulled up Chat’s account.

Her eyes narrowed in on the fact that the thumbnail for his newest video was a black screen instead of the usual still frame of the animal of the day. She clicked on it…

Chat’s breathing was heavy. The bright green captions on the black screen read “Thought someone was in the house :(!”

And then there was the flick of the lightswitch. The camera went pure white as it attempted to adjust to the sudden light… and then she saw herself. In her Totoro onesie. Eating the abomination that she was still regretting hours later.

She closed out of the app. She knew what had happened next, after all.

She swallowed thickly, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes despite her best attempts. Kwami, the internet was going to have a field day. The hard edges of her phone case dug into her hand.

She wanted, so badly, to just go back to the way things were. When she didn’t have to care about her image, when she didn’t have to think about how people would react to the smallest of mistakes. That few month gap between Paon and Hawkmoth hadn’t even been enough for her to appreciate it, and she’d only been around twelve at the time, but kwami did she miss it. When mistakes were just mistakes and she was just a kid...

A ragged gasp escaped her throat and she slowly slid down the wall.

She let her phone hit the ground and brought her hands to her hair, squeezing her eyes shut. How do you breathe again? Her throat was too clogged with tears for her to even remember what it was like to breathe normally.

She felt a tiny hand on her cheek and slowly creaked her eyes open. Tikki was hovering in front of her. The kwami was breathing (or at least making a sound similar to it). Ladybug matched the pace as best she could, forcing all thoughts that weren’t remembering how to breathe out of her head.

After a moment, she managed to bring her breathing to normal.

She gave the kwami a weak smile and nuzzled her face against her.

“Thanks, Tikki,” she murmured.

It sucked, but she couldn’t afford to be like this at the moment. As far as she knew, there hadn’t been an akuma yet that day so she needed to keep everything in check.

There would probably be an akuma by the time she got home, at least, so she could feel free to get mad or panic once that happened. Did she really know what she was going to do? Not really. She’d probably figure it out by then, though.

She looked back at her phone and then pulled up her chat with Nino again because, to him, she had just disappeared for no reason.

What would she normally say?

Poppet: wow. she’s an even bigger disaster than I am

Ninomorepuns: right lmao you might actually be the sensible one in the relationship

Poppet: stfu. I’ll kill you

Ninomorepuns: better not do it during an akuma or itll be fixed

Poppet: you right

Ninomorepuns: wait dont you still have work go away

She rolled her eyes a little and started typing a response along the lines of ‘you’re the one that distracted me from work in the first place’ but something pulled her attention away from her phone.

The doorknob jingled, there was a blur of black and red as Tikki dove to hide in her jacket pocket, and then Kagami was poking her head through.

“My mother and -- are you alright?”

Ladybug rubbed under her eyes to get rid of any stray tears. “Of course! Sorry, my friend just told a really good joke and I guess my laughter got away from me.” She pulled a bright smile to her face. “Are you and your mom done choosing?”

The woman in front of her didn’t seem to believe her, but she nodded shortly. She pushed herself to her feet, brushed herself off, and continued on with her day.

~

She pulled her mask on outside the door and the smile on her face was just a fraction too wide as she stepped inside.

“Rena,” she said, because she was the only person she saw in the living room.

She looked up from her phone and then tensed ever so slightly at the sight of a clearly pissed off Ladybug. “Bonjour,” she greeted carefully.

“Has anyone been akumatized yet today?”

“... yeah. It was the homeless guy on eighth and --.”

“Cool. Thanks.” She walked up a flight of stairs and raised her hand to knock on Chat’s door.

She stopped herself.

The conversation they’d had only yesterday rang in her ears.

One bad day away from akumatization. That’s what Master Fu had said. She pressed her lips together thinly. He’d been right, apparently, all it had taken for the emotional wall she’d built to crumble was for her persona to crack even slightly… sure, she had her reasons for why she was so upset that the public was now aware of the fact that she wasn’t who she said she was -- and the fact that it was because of Chat of all people didn’t help -- but she’d thought she was reasonably stable emotionally up until then...

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the cold wood of his door and trying her hardest to think.

The options were to suppress the emotions or address them. Suppressing them clearly wasn’t working as much anymore, but she only had about twelve to twenty-four hours to properly address them if she wanted to do that…

She hesitated.

Maybe if she addressed part of the feelings then she could suppress the rest. That would work, right?

She walked up to her room/attic and started making a plan.

By the end of the night, she’d finished writing it all out in the back of her sketchbook.

Glitter

Ruin that perfect motherfucker’s perfect skin and perfect hair

Glitter Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

Lull him into a false sense of security

Make him think he’s going insane

M u r d e r

It wasn’t a lot, only six parts, but she felt like she would probably be fine after part six.

(She’d better be, you can’t really get revenge on a dead person.)

Her problems with the people of Paris would still be there, but at least her problems with Chat would be over with.

She smiled at the plan. Yes, it was all coming together now.

~~~

Taglist

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[nightshadedawn]

Persona 5 Royal Playthrough pt3

I ended up going through two Palaces before I could update y’all. Oh well.

...Yeah, no, quit calling me Miss Special Snowflake's boyfriend. It's not happening.

Ryuji, Morgana, and Yusuke having a conversation in the laundromat: "It's like he's our mom," says Ryuji... the mom friend.

Every time Morgana is like "I have to turn into a human so no one else can have Lady Ann!" then expects no one else to hear him makes me laugh. Like, bitch, no.

I have the restaurant in my Thieves Den 'cause I like it. Yusuke, Ryuji, and Morgana are there. They're so precious.

I got a three in a row Tycoon on cutthroat!!!

Ryuji and Ann just keep going "Shoulda figured" and other versions of the statement every time I win.

Ann just rejected Morgana's feelings HARD. I am happy.

Ryuji is too good, honestly. Why would anyone not like him? He's... He's always trying to build the team up, make them proud of themselves and what they've done. I will admit that he has his moments of being not a great human, but they're teenagers who were given absurd powers, so honestly, can you blame them?

I didn't know darts was an actual minigame! There's so many minigames. I'm so happy.

I don't like Akechi. I don't know why some people do. Like, his death scene was a bit... too late for a redemption for me, right after he tried to kill Joker, several times. His pain is understandable, but still... I can't.

Their "two sides of the same coin" also doesn't seem particularly fair. It's totally uneven in everything but color schemes.

Guys, GUYS, please, PLEASE decide whether you're going to react to my teasing or not.

"We don't have to deal with them directly," Ryuji says joyfully about the mafia. Oh you sweet, sweet, innocent child, if only you knew what I do.

I literally can't play this game around anyone else because I tend to yell "BABY!" to Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke and "BITCH" or "FUCKER" to... a rather long list of villains in this game... and Makoto.

I can literally feel Yusuke's anxiety about his painting when you take him to Leblanc to see Sayuri.

How can you say Yusuke isn't gay when he says everything I do is beautiful?

I love Ryuji's 9th social link. It's LITERALLY written like a confession scene. This also means I kinda hate it because... I can't date him.

Also... PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI

I actually kinda thought that the new scene for Ryuji being a crossdresser is kinda funny??? Is this bad??? I wanna see him in a dress, tho. I gotta agree, he'd be a natural. Not the like, painfully obviously not taking it seriously from the dancing game, though.

Though I do think it's valid that he freaks out when two strange adults come up to him and try to take him somewhere, especially in a place known for being shady, and at night.

...When Ryuji complains about it, I do feel bad about ditching him. Then again, I blame the cat.

Ryuji may be my ideal type on paper, but I'm also highly attracted to Yusuke and this is so totally unfair.

*softly chanting* butlers butlers butlers butlers

Don't mind me just... *makes meticulous plot to avoid having Makoto join the team that i may or may not write a fanfic about*

Makoto is one dumbass bitch. Like, honestly, there's nothing she does that's in any way remotely smart.

...I thought I'd just skip Makoto's scenes until she became relevant, but here I am, still skipping her scenes. Does that mean she’s still irreleveant?

"Witch" I suggest, and Makoto complains! "Would you prefer "Bitch"? I can use that too.

I put Yusuke on the team in the middle of the palace through settings, replacing Morgana, who had been standing right behind me. Which made Yusuke stand right behind me. It looked like he was holding onto my waist and standing uncomfortably close. Bro, babe, I love you, but not in front of my boyfriend and girlfriend!

Just accept the compliment, guys, I'm not going to compliment Queen.

...Opening chests with Ann or Ryuji is just so sweet because they're so affectionate and touchy feely. Especially Ryuji.

Math. Fucking. Sucks. I should not have to use math in a game. I hate this. Obviously it's the Palace Makoto comes in that this happened.

Well, I finished the Palace in a day. I love the feeling. But it was getting close there. Joker and Yusuke were down to no spells...

...Yoshizawa hasn't showed up yet. When is she getting shoehorned in?

WHY IS THE VELVET ROOM RED!?

My very first playthrough I didn't execute a single execution except for the first one we have to do. It  really screwed me over my second playthrough...

...I broke the electric chair. That's certainly something that happened.

147 games of Tycoon later and I've only been a beggar 31 times in total, versus the pure thirty wins in just Cutthroat.

They're in their summer uniforms and it makes make miss warmer weather already. It's fucking snowing outside. Grrrr.

Beat Kaneshiro! ...Wasn't a fan of his new boss battle. I'm even playing on safe mode! But whatever.

Makoto is a DISASTER at Tycoon. She exclusively got beggar all three times I played with her!

...RYUJI YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT LET ME DATE YOU.

Ann, sweeties, baby, you're doing so well.

She confessed to me, then in the call afterwards it was basically insinuated I proposed... WHICH IS LIKE FUCK YEAH 'CAUSE SHE ACCEPTED IT.

It makes me think of the future conversation where they're talking about marriage.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed, l love Ann.

My next playthrough I'm not gong to date her, though. I'm a completionist and I want ALL of the possible awards. But... I refuse to cheat on Ann. So I'll date everyone else then just hang with Ryuji... despite how cringy some of the date things are.

...If Akechi wasn't, you know EVIL and tried to KILL ME, SEVERAL TIMES, I might, MIGHT, like him. But in truth, I think that's really just the Persona 5: Revival talking. We get... into some stuff during that.

I know that either Atlus or the translators know EXACTLY what goes on in the Persona fandom because otherwise "He's too pretty to be wrong" would not be an option when talking to the newspaper girl about Akechi. I have to agree with her that his looks aren't really, you know, awesome enough for that.

Also, I read it as "He's too petty to be wrong" at first and I think that's an accurate sum of his character.

YO AKECHI-FUCK I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE YOUR ASS LIKE THAT WHEN I HAVE BOTH A BF AND AND GF.

...fucker fucking giving me shit about my fake glasses...

If you COULD date the boy out of mod, Akechi would definitely be the one they were pushing you to date. Like Makoto. Or Yoshizawa.

But hey, at least I get to not be nice to him.

I remember seeing this picture where Ann, Ryuji, and Joker kept going to the movies together and seeing 3D movies, and Joker couldn't wear the 3D glasses properly because of his own. I keep imagining that picture during this event with Caroline and Justine.

You know what? Some people call Joker a loli lover because of them, but nope! He's just adopted two more siblings. That is my stance on it.

FUcking

Fucker

WHAT THE FRRRRRRRR

FUCK YOU ATULS OR TRANSLATORS OR WHATEVER

APHRODITE AND MARS ARE FROM TWO DIFFERENT MYTHOS. Aphrodite is GREEK, Mars is ROMAN. Their reversed are VENUS and ARES. USE ONE OR THE OTHER PEOPLE.

I get very pissed about this, and it's worse with Hades.

7/4 is the day I am screaming at, if you were wondering.

My dad asked me if the other students think Joker's stupid because every time I answer a question right they get all surprised.

I don't really like Makoto, as I'm sure you've noticed, but she was super nice about Ryuji's special move idea. And that put her ahead of Akechi in my book.

TESTS ARE NERVE WRACKING EVEN WHEN THEY'RE FICTIONAL

Yusuke and Ryuji are good boys, the best boys. And they're so awesome about their special move.

AND RYUJI OFFERED MONEY FOR YUSUKE'S FOOD. And implied that he did it before???? Ryuji, you best boy.

This boys' outing DOES make me happy, though. Like, insanely happy. Dunno why.

Maybe because Joker gets to be so flipping cheesy.

...fuck you, Yoshizawa.

HONESTLY WHAT THE EVER LOVING--- Grr. Too many choices while with her. Too many. OOC Joker when with her. 0/10.

I LOVE THE FESTIVAL PHOTO

And you know, it's really hard to choose between Lala-chan and Ann, but... GONNA TAKE ANN ON A DATE

Got her some flowers. Lets see if we can give them to her this time!

"Such a good FRIEND." Babe, we're DATING. For like, TWO WEEKS NOW.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GIVE HER FLOWERS

Ann called Yusuke a pretty boy, but then she's missing out on the REAL pretty boy, Pretty Boy Ryuji.

Ryuji, why're you so worried about other girls when you've got ME?

"I like the shade." "What are you, moss!?" Oh, admit it, Ryuji, I'm growing on you.

Cargona. Snrk. Gods, I love you, Ryuji.

Dome town with Ryuji! "Isn't it all couples?" That's the point!

I COULD GIVE RYUJI THE ROSES!?

Sadly, I bought those for Ann. Ryuji, you get the noodles.

AND HE FUCKING LOVED IT.

"It feels like I really captured Ryuji's heart!" FUCK YEAH I DID

Gonna give Yusuke the bracelet when I get the chance.

Why is everyone color coded in the chat room? Kawakami, Akechi, Mishima, and the reporter are all ORANGE. What's the point? Well, Akechi's more of a golden orange, but close enough.

While Mishima is not my first choice for a date, he's definitely not my last.

...But the boy really needs some fucking sleep. He's not drawn with the bags under his eyes, but I can see them!

It's not fair that they give Akechi a kicked puppy sprite. I'm... goddamnit, they're trying to make me not hate him.

When Makoto doesn't know something, I'm brought great joy.

NO DAD MAKOTO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND ANN IS AND SHE IS LITERALLY R I G H T T H E R E

First day in Futaba's Palace! I've gotta say, this is my second favorite palace. Kamoshida, Futaba, Madarame, Sae, Okumura, Shido, Kaneshiro, Holy Grail. In that order. I HATE Kaneshiro's place and dealing with the Holy Grail. But whatevs, man. I love this game. (Vanilla, at least, this one is still on the fence)

I found out a cool little thing. On the uphill sand slopes in the town (don't know about anywhere else) if you're running and turn back quickly, Joker will do a little animation to steady himself. It was cool and made it seem, I dunno, more human? Anyway, while I was admiring this, Ryuji and Yusuke just stood at the top of the slope and Ann followed me while I was running. Best girlfriend ever.

Kin-Ki is looking pretty kin-ky if you know what I'm sayin'

Please don't murder me because I do terrible puns.

*we fall through the trap door* *Ryuji starts screaming* Same, baby, same.

...Makoto is seriously annoying. Like, she's got no business acting as familiar with Futaba's situation. The one who WOULD be the most familiar is Yusuke, and I'm glad he recognizes that. It's not the exact same, none of their stories are after all, but I feel like those two get each other better than even Ryuji and Joker understand each other.

Yusuke and Ryuji's special attack is THE BEST

Ryuji and Joker getting up close and personal in the shadows. All those fanfics coming true, man.

I thought Futaba was sloth, not wrath? Why are her Will Seeds called Wrath?

Beat it in one day! It's so satisfying to watch all those achievements when I leave the palace.

You know, I'm thinking of wearing the Christmas outfits for the final battle. Just to be kinda funny.

Spending a relaxing day with Yusuke after going through Futaba's Palace... kinda want to take him to the bathhouse to check out that new scene, but I also REALLY wanna feed the boy... gonna feed the boy.

Apparently I can only make 'decent curry.' Which is fine. Because "I" can't make curry at all. Joker, you've done much better than I.

THE DATE CHANGE SCREEN HAD A RAINBOW AND RYUJI WAS COMING OVER ON THE SAME DAY FUCK YEAH MY BISEXUAL BABY

...Broooooo, the way you talk about your manga is how I talk right before I start shipping.

Took him to the bathhouse, 'cause I don't gotta worry about Mama Sakamoto feeding him.

...Can I take Ann to the bathhouse?

Asked Ryuji to move in. He was all up for the idea until he remembered that I live in an attic.

I'm Charismatic now!

...I was all hoping Ann would stop by but then Akechi asked me out. Laaaaaaaame.

Ryuji's smile is so fucking cute.

...I say we just be honest, and everyone's so fucking stupid about it until Makoto explains it. This pisses me off. They're not that dumb... At least, they weren't until Makoto showed up.

Futaba's hiding in the closet. ...I've spent too many weeks making jokes about closets to not have a joke about it.

Really, Yusuke? You see those books and think she can't understand?

...Wait, that sassy tone of voice... You were TRYING to pull a reaction of her. I knew I shipped those two for a reason. OTP and BroTP. Doesn't matter, they're both awesome.

I love you Ann, but I don't think your situations were the same at all. It's not like both are valid and bad, but... different.

Joker is SO fast compared to the others, especially when he's speeding.

What the...

Holy fuck...

JOKER IS TOO EFFING COOL

THAT MOVE TO GET FROM THE ENTRANCE TO TO TREASURE DOOR? Awesome!

Damn, Joker has my heart too.

I kinda wish we could see Futaba's costumes in her Persona. That would be pretty neat.

The moment right before Wakaba appears is so aesthetically pleasing.

...Futaba being happy is almost enough for me to accept Maruki's offer, and I haven't gotten there yet.

Ryuji and Ann keep smacking each other out of their ailments. Like, you guys just love each other so much! It's awesome.

Joker has lackluster responses to Wakaba... I'm hoping that isn't one of those "Answer these wrong and you break her!" things... Not that I think I was, but still.

I liked Futaba's new animation for when she defied her mother.

I wish the anime looked more the cutscenes. I'm trying to rewatch the anime so I can pinpoint specific moments for future editing purposes, but it's kinda painful.

1- This is the SECOND TIME you've landed on Yusuke while running from trouble.

2- YUSUKE LET GO OF MY GIRL

No Makoto, I don't want to go see Futaba with you! I can go see her myself.

So, I like Takemi's new voice with her lines during this scene.

Sure, she collapses every so often and sleeps for a while. Stays like that for a few days. Sorry that I put her into a coma for a month, Boss...

SHE LOOKS SO CUTE WITHOUT GLASSES

Guys, we have a month. Stop worrying.

THE TWINS ARE SO CUTE WHILE HANGING ONTO THE BENCH PRESS

Damn, Joker's dying to the amusement of two little girls.

I'm kinda disappointed I didn't get results for all that training. But I liked the scene.

Yusuke just casually be lugging bigass paintings around.

Taking the girls to the church may have been one of the funnier moments. These cement them as Joker's little sisters. With Futaba. Damn, Joker, you got no brothers.

Yusuke promises to come by every day and we can tell him to take his clothes off. ATLUS, you have some EXPLAINING to DO.

..And Yusuke took it and ran with it. My sweet summer child, I don't think I could handle you in as little as possible on the day to day.

"The heat induced delirium made me think outside the box." Same.

Guts takes sooooooooooooo long to level up.

"Punish me more" he says, as if Takemi won't do it.

"Good god. Well, none of my medicine can cure THAT." AT LEAST WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE

BATHHOUSE WITH YUSUKE

Awe, he had fun. :)

#Persona 5 #akira kusuru #shuann #pegoryu #pegoryuann #persona 5 royal #yusuke kitagawa #ann takamaki #Ryuji Sakamoto #Pretty Boy Ryuji

[dorkylittleweirdo]

crazy shit that happened during high school

freshman year:

my favorite teacher (pe coach) ended up being a pedophile. it’s kinda scary to think about bc like,, that was my favorite teacher and i trusted him and if he tried anything with me i don’t think i would’ve stopped him and just yikes. but yeah, it was a whole thing. once the school found out they got the police involved and he fled the state. they got him in the end but i mean,, i spent a lot of time in the secretary’s office crying about it bc i really trusted that dude and i was distraught over it. that might’ve been where my trust issues started??? fun stuff

my school shut down. like i mean,, bc it was a charter school and we had to get the charter renewed. but the board at my school wasn’t using their money the way they were supposed to. it was a whole thing, like the principal left that school year bc he knew what was happening, couldn’t stop them from doing it, and didn’t want to be part of it. so they had a lot of meetings that us kids were allowed to go to so we could see what was happening and all that. i only went to one and it was A Time bc the lady who was recording everything passed tf out and of course nobody was a doctor and my pipsqueak thirteen year old ass went “i know what to do” bc i Did so i had to help her which was a trip in and of itself. but anyways, the school���s charter got denied, and everyone had to transfer, but the district promised that we could go to any school we wanted, not just the one we would have to go to by zip code

sophomore year:

i ended up going to a private christian school. big fucking mistake. absolute disaster. nothing really happened that was crazy by their standards, but it was for me

so they have a house system. think of harry potter, it’s EXACTLY like that. we have points, we have competitions, we have all that extra stuff. it was such a time, like i don’t,, i don’t even know how to explain how fucking weird that shit was

i came out in the middle of class. the principal’s daughter was our sub and she goes “okay so everyone is gonna tell us something that nobody knows about them” so when it was my turn i go “so it’s not a secret and y’all should know this but clearly y’all don’t: i’m not straight”. silence. dead silence. we could hear the class next to us it was so quiet. some girl whispers “i knew it”. another girl leans over and whispers to my friend “i’m so sorry”. principal’s daughter gives me the most threatening, condescending smile i’ve ever seen and goes “thanks for sharing”. i had to come out to my mom that same day bc i told me friends and they panicked on my behalf bc when people found out that they were gay, the principal told their parents. and i was Not about to be outed by the principal. my mom has since told me that the principal never contacted her about it so i came out for nothing but i mean i really like being out so we’re good

so instead of prom, cult school has this thing called “the ball”. sophomores, juniors, and seniors are allowed to go bc there’s less than fifty people per grade so if sophomores don’t come, there’s not enough people. so i went bc my friends were all going and i was like “yeah why not might as well”. three dance lessons. three fucking dance lessons for this stupid ball that i didn’t dance once at. i literally had three panic attacks in the span of an hour at the second one, and then i had swim practice right after. fucking exhausted. felt like i ran five marathons by the time i got home. the last lesson i didn’t do any dancing, just vibed with my friend in the corner. so at the actual ball, same friend and i vibed at the tables the whole time. we went to the bathroom for like an hour and took mirror selfies and tried to make our asses look bigger bc we’re Like That

SO AFTER THE BALL, there was apparently a massive party and there was alcohol and stuff. so my friends and i were blissfully unaware bc nobody liked us bc who tf likes the school sinners. so we walked to get ice cream after in our fucking ballgowns and suits looking like All That. so the principal thought that it was one of us who hosted the party and we were like “??? what party?”. literally almost got in trouble bc the principal thought we were LYING. i told my mom and she takes No Shit, so when the principal called her demanding to know if i went to/hosted the party, she marched her ass down to the school and was like “i know y’all have something against mexicans and people who are different from y’all, but that’s no reason to blame my daughter for something that your so called “perfect” students did”. my mom got Heated, roasted the fuck out of the principal, then LEFT. principal never fucked with my mom after that

so there was a fire like across the street from the school. the fd told us to evacuate, but noooooo the school was like “god will protect us” i’m like “okay but i’m gay and apparently your god hates that so i think we’re gonna Perish”. the fucking POWER went out and they STILL wouldn’t let us go. my mom called to sign me out so i could go wherever the fuck i wanted in the school until my friend’s dad came to pick us up bc she couldn’t get there bc of the fire. so i vibed next door to my friends’ class and i was like “heeeeey god’s trying to kill the gays” and we laughed about that until my gay ass got saved lmaoooo

okay so this is the funniest memory i have. in chemistry once, our teacher took us outside and started digging a lil hole next to the school. and keep in mind, my chem teacher used to be a hardcore atheist druggie, like fucking meth and coke and shit. took a theology course and converted. so he’s really sweet and nice but he’s also Slightly mad scientist vibes. so anyways, he puts something in this little hole, lights it on fire. i forgot why he did it, but i was standing back with him and one of the exchange students and the three of us watch in Horror as the rest of the class makes a circle around the fire and start doing some weird dance and saying something. it wasn’t like a chant, idk what to call it, but they were like counting like “and one, and two, and three, and four” and then the dance would get more intense and they’d get louder. so eventually they were screaming and going apeshit and i looked at my teacher and he’s just,, watching them do this. i’m like “and i’m satan, huh?”. like these kids really trying to summon the devil but i’m the bad one bc i like girls

junior year:

so technically this was during the summer but i’m putting it here. they have like a house party after the school year ends. i made cookies. apparently they “looked weird” so nobody ate them, two of my soon to be teachers kept insulting them. i called my mom to pick me up, took my cookies with me, got back in the car in tears. had to have a whole conversation with the principal and those two teachers so they could apologize bc i wanted to leave the school after that. dw tho, i took my cookies to the guards at my summer camp and they appreciated the hell out of them bc they were Very Good Cookies

so my ap bio teacher was an enabler. i was his favorite bc i wasn’t a religious nut and it was very obvious that i believed in science and not whatever the hell this cult was doing with their creationist bs. also he was a parasitologist and i’m super into parasitology so he had fun talking about it to someone who both understood and was extremely interested in the topic. i rolled up to class one day like “hey so i’m gonna buy hissing cockroaches from amazon, if my parents find out and don’t let me keep them do you want them??” and he’s like “yeah”. i brought them to class a few times and everyone Hated it but my teacher was like ayyyyy. and everyone thought he was either and atheist or agnostic, so when some girl asked how he thought mary conceived jesus to see what he said, he looked at me like “y’all hear somethin/hel p” and i go “parthenogenesis” and he Went With It, talking about how it was theoretically possible in humans but we ignored the fact that the baby would’ve been a girl bc the class is dumb none of them have ever heard of parthenogenesis before jesus is the true trans icon we all need

my art teacher was my favorite and she knows that i’m gay. she’s the only teacher from my school that i’m still in contact with. so every big project we did, i made it gay. and i knew, and my friends knew, and she knew, but the rest of the class had no idea. i’m like presenting my project and the class would get sus and they’re like “so are those two really good friends” and i’m like “so she has a rainbow heart on her choker and she has a lesbian symbol on her shirt”. the class was still confused and my friend yells “they’re LESBIANS”. it was iconic

my brit lit teacher was bi. she never said it, but i know she was. always talked about how much she hated men, then was like “women are very very good”. no way this woman was straight. so we read dracula and it’s got that Subtext, so one time i leaned over to my friend bc he sat next to me and i go “the Homoerotic Subtext”. and i didn’t realize that the teacher was right in front of me until she tapped my desk and goes “it gets better”, told me a page number that i flipped to, and it was Even More Gay and i was like 😏. also she assigned me a gay poet for my poetry project and i talked about that for my whole presentation in front of the class and it was the biggest paragraph in my essay and i got 100% on it even tho i choked at the beginning. also i mentioned in passing that i liked sappho and she goes “ooh i love sappho” i’m like “ma’am please leave this cult and get you a gf”

senior year:

i left the cult finally. went to the one school i actually liked. i made friends who actually like me and they were patient and they were amazing and i love them all very much even if i’ll never tell them. my classmates were great, v friendly, i had a great time. however,

so many fires. school got cancelled like five times bc of how bad the fires were

the school shooting. i don’t think i need to go further into that, it’s pretty self explanatory

covid. again, don’t need to go further into that, v self explanatory

#school #high school #school stories

[asterbi]

rewatching young justice season 2 for the fourth time: earthlings (2x2)

- oh god oh fuck i’m already feeling things

- can we talk about how kind and selfless connor is???? and how he never ever makes a fuss about it or acts like he’s helping he just always puts himself on the line for everyone like it’s no big deal and that’s what’s expected of him he cares so much more about them than he does about his own safety. like remember in the disaster simulation when they needed a distraction and he never even protested, knowing he would probably be killed. god connor is so lovely he really deserves better

- oh he shielded someone he barely even knew (adam strange’s alien gf i think her name is alanna?) with his own body from this big laser ray thingy btw that’s what brought that tangent on

- in other news, gar is so excited and so cute he’s a baby and i love him

- also m’gann, connor, and gar Exchanging Glances when adam said “and this...... is ~ alanna ~” i’m cackling they’re all so done

- ew gar calling m’gann sis,,, they don’t know how to write siblings either

- god the awkward tension on the train ride

- I’M CACKLING THE JABBERWOCK SCENE IS LEGIT MY FAVOURITE THING

- ADAM IS SO FUCKING EXTRA HE’S SUCH A NERD RECITING LEWIS CARROLL AT A BUNCH OF ALIENS. AND LIKE. EVEN AFTER HE’S SUCCESSFULLY DISTRACTED THEM AND GOTTEN THEM OFF THE TRAIN HE STILL GOES “And down the rabbit hole I go!!” WHILE JETPACKING OFF INTO THE SKY EVEN THOUGH NO ONE IS THERE TO WATCH,,, THIS DRAMATIC DUMBASS I SWEAR TO GOD

- on GOD the sheer fear and panic i felt when something blew up directly behind beast boy,,,, gar is so extremely small and fragile like i know he’s not going to die but i’m concerned about his wellbeing

- “complicated, but sweet” alanna really just summed up the entire connor/m’gann ship huh

- gar and m’gann’s relationship is so cute they’re beebs

- okay but another thing i really love about yj: connor and m’gann’s relationship. they have so much development, and they’re really, truly healthy. they communicate about things that make them uncomfortable, they are themselves around each other, and they’re both so supportive. and the very moment that m’gann breaks that and the relationship starts getting toxic, connor breaks up with her. there’s a few things about that that i love:

1) connor is the victim, not m’gann. superboy, whose Thing is being super strong and super manly and is the literal clone of superman himself, is the victim in a toxic relationship. his experience is not mocked in any way, it’s taken seriously, and that is a fantastic thing to show to younger viewers, especially since it’s a show that would probably be watched by a lot of young boys. there is zero toxic masculinity present here, and it shows boys that even the strongest men can be a victim too.

2) connor broke up with m’gann not because they didn’t like each other anymore or because someone cheated on someone else or any “typical” reason like that, they broke up because m’gann did something that connor found morally unacceptable, and when he tried to talk to her about it, she tried to manipulate him rather than stop her own behaviour. it’s okay to break up with someone because they’re doing something that makes you uncomfortable and they won’t stop when you ask, even if it’s something that has nothing to do with you.

3) the way it shows communication!! connor initially tries to talk it out with m’gann instead of just dropping her, because he genuinely cares about her and is worried about both her and the people around her. but when she doesn’t listen and tries to erase his memory, he doesn’t let himself be forced to stay in a toxic relationship for the sake of helping m’gann. that is absolutely Fantastic and i love it.

- okay anyways moving on

- quick disclaimer though: this sounds like i’m calling m’gann an abuser and that i don’t like her, which is absolutely not true. i’ll probably ramble about how awesome it is that both m’gann and connor are portrayed as flawed but inherently good people some other time, but for now, i love m’gann. she’s a genuinely good person, but she messes up a lot, and i also love that she isn’t just immediately forgiven or excused. i probably relate to her more than anyone else in this show. anyways, we love and appreciate m’gann. moving on

- oh gar,,,,, oh no,,,,,,,, he’s so small and so sad

- god gar saying “souvenir!!” is already making me feel things and i haven’t even seen wally yet

in conclusion: connor kent owns my whole heart, i’m soft for gar, where’s wally

#cas rewatches yj s2 for the fourth time #young justice #young justice invasion #young justice season 2 #superboy #connor kent #miss martian #m'gann m'orzz #beast boy #garfield logan #dc

[stormtrprinstilettos]

Chameleon - Chapter 6

Summary: Reader (that’s you!) moves to London, hoping to leave her past behind and find happiness. She makes friends with her new neighbors. (Guess who?) - So far we’ve established that Reader & Freddie are BFF, Reader & Brian are absolutely into each other (but he has a GF that Reader just had a pretty big argument with last chapter) and Reader & Roger have a bit of sexual tension that may be turning out to be a bit more than just that. (If you’re new to the story – there really is no proper summary. I have no idea where this is going and am always taking suggestions as to where you’d like to see it go.) 18+ please!

Words: ~6.7K+ || AO3 | Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3(1)(2), Ch 4*, Ch 5 (* = smut)

[A/N: Want to thank everyone again for reading! I’m posting this one today and I’ll probably be posting the next one in a few days. I don’t like to sit on chapters for too long because I end up changing them constantly. This one is fluffy as hell, until stuff happens. (Next one, not so much. *wink wink*) Time warping ahead a few weeks from the last chapter. I know y’all want some Deaky in here - I’m going to be making him more prominent. Just need to work out how. Also, sorry for the formatting. #MobileAppProblems]

Tagging: @chocolatealmondmilkshake & @thisjustfantasy (let me know if you want to be tagged)

The place was a complete disaster area when you woke up the next morning after your argument with Jane. You stepped over empty bottles and other assorted trash to get to the kitchen to make some coffee. You had no idea what the guys got up to after Brian and Jane left and you locked yourself in your room, but clearly it involved a lot of drinking after they quit trying to talk to you. The three of them were passed out, John on the sofa, Freddie in the chair and Roger on the floor. The kitchen was a disaster too, but you didn’t even bother cleaning up. You didn’t care. You just wanted your coffee. And after that night and seeing the state of the flat, you wanted to run away, so that’s what you did, just for the day, of course.

You wandered around the National Gallery, getting lost in the endless collection of art. It was the first time since you arrived in London you had nothing on your mind. You had no worries, no stresses, no one else to worry about – nothing. The colors and intricacies of the paintings brought your mind to another plane, gifting you with serenity. That’s all you wanted, for however long you could have it. You stayed there for hours, completely losing track of time. That day you made a promise to yourself that you would take a day at least once a week to get lost, either figuratively or literally. A new kind of therapy – self-care instead of self-destruction was a lot better.

Brian didn’t realize that he was inadvertently pushing you closer to Roger. Whenever Jane would be around, Roger would come over. Sometimes the night – or day, depending on when she was there – would end with sex, but most of the time it wouldn’t. Things may have started out to be just about sex with the two of you, but it wasn’t like that anymore. He was your safe space now. You’d usually end up cuddled together, giving you a feeling of comfort, which he was always more than happy to provide. It didn’t matter if you were watching television, listening to an album, discussing a book or the weather or anything of unimportance – you’d more than likely end up cuddled together. You enjoyed his company, and he yours, and the connection the two of you had shared started to become stronger. Freddie even had to joke about how wrong he was before. “I always thought that one would be the one to fuck you up,” he told you one afternoon after Roger left the flat. “But apparently, he’s the one that’s good for you.” Perhaps he was right, but you weren’t planning on opening your heart to feeling again, at least not any time soon.

Wanting to do something different today, you decide to visit the planetarium to see the stars – well, the fake stars, but they’ll suffice to help you do one of your favorite things. The show was boring, really. You already knew the constellations, but you stayed anyway, choosing to tune out the sound and pretend you were laying under the real night sky. As soon as you get comfortable, someone starts talking to you.

“Do you see her?” a voice whispers in your ear, startling you until you realized who it was.

You don’t turn around. You don’t need to. You don’t want to, hoping that if you ignore him, he’ll go away. But he won’t. You can hear his breathing. “Yeah, I see her.” You point up to her – Andromeda.

“She looks like she’s had better days,” the voice whispers.

“Yeah,” you reply. “She’s a little dim.”

“It’s a shame, really. She deserves to shine bright.” Brian crawls over the seat next to you, knowing very well his presence is probably unwanted, but he knew you wouldn’t cause a scene in front of everyone who was around. “Hey there,” he greets you, a smile on his face, genuinely happy to see you.

“Are you stalking me, Mr. May?” you somewhat jokingly ask, while raising an eyebrow. You want to ignore him. You want to be mad. You want to never speak to him again, but one look at him changes all of that. You can’t stay mad at him no matter how much you want to.

“Shhhhh!” the woman in front of you fusses. “Go outside if you want to talk!” You and Brian look at each other, make mocking facial expressions behind the woman’s back, and giggle as you walk outside.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, trying to make him think you’re mad with the sound of your voice, but failing miserably.

“I could ask you the same,” he replies, searching your face for any sign of upset, but finding none. He’s nervous. He was fully prepared for you to lash out at him, was even expecting it, or he thought you’d walk away, run away – anything to get away from him.

You sigh, slide down the wall and lean back against it. “I needed to get away.” You close your eyes and take a deep breath, unsure if you should tell him that he’s the reason your brain has been so cloudy these last few weeks.

“Me too.” He takes a seat next to you, not sure if you want to talk, but he wants to set the record straight. “Look, about the other night…”

“Stop,” you cut him off. “It’s not a big deal.” You’re lying. It is a big deal. You trusted him, and you feel like he betrayed you.

“That’s not true.” He starts to chuckle, which irritates you because this isn’t exactly a funny matter. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“I’m not lying,” you try to convince him, and yourself. “It’s really not that big of a deal.” No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, you didn’t believe it. Neither did he.

“Then why are you doing that thing where you play with your fingernail when you’re not telling the truth?” He smirked and points down to your hand, bringing it to your attention that you’re running your thumbnail between two of your fingers, something you never noticed you did before – but he clearly did.

You raise an eyebrow and stop fidgeting but let the comment you want to make about him paying that much attention to you pass. “It’s no big deal.”

“You’re doing it again. The fingernail thing.” He keeps smirking.

“Jane will have me guillotined if she finds out I’m talking to you right now.” You missed him. You really missed him and sitting here with him at this very moment felt so comfortable, but so wrong.

He starts to look around. “Jane isn’t here. And I’m not going to tell her.” He leans over and pretends to be suspicious with a whisper. “Are you?” You don’t answer, opting instead to give him a look, begging for him to drop it, but he can’t. “I hate this. I want it to go back to how it was before…” His voice trails off.

“It never had to be this way, Brian. But it is.” You start to stand up and walk away, but he pulls you back down.

“Talk to me, please.” You can see in his eyes that he’s sorry for whatever wrong he’s done and that he genuinely doesn’t know what he’s done to make you upset. It’s tearing him up inside.

You can’t let it go anymore. You’re upset, he’s upset and the only way to fix this is to talk to him. “You told Jane about my past, Brian. Really? Things I’ve told you about all of that was in confidence. I’ve told you things I never even told Freddie. If I wanted people to know about the bullshit I’ve done or been through I’d tell them myself.”

“I did not!” His voice is pleading for your forgiveness. “I told her you had it rough, and that you needed to get away from there for your own sake. I never gave her details. She wanted to know how you ended up here and that’s all I’ve ever told her.”

You want to believe him, and part of you does, but you can’t forget what she said. You can’t forget that she told you Brian said you were “a mess,” as she put it. That’s the part of the entire exchange that stood out to you. “She said you told her that I…”

He interrupts, quickly. “I never said a single negative thing about you to her or to anyone for that matter.” He grabs your hand and looks into your eyes, his tone lowering. “I don’t even know anything negative about you.”

No, you told yourself, don’t get locked in his gaze. “Just let me know when she’s going to be around so I don’t have to be there, okay?” You pull your hand away, stand up and grab your things. “I’m going home.”

“No, don’t.” He jumps up and stands in front of you, blocking your path. “The weather is nice for a change. Let’s go enjoy it.” He grabs your upper arms, trying to get you to look at him.

“Brian…” You sigh and throw your head back, trying to come across as annoyed, hoping that would get him to leave you alone.

“Come on,” he pleads. “Will you at least walk home with me?” You look at him, completely defeated in this battle, smile a half smile and start walking home.

Everything seemed to be back to normal between the two of you. You made small talk, chatted about random things, had some laughs – just like you always would. Instead of taking the sidewalks, you guided him through a small park area for a change of scenery. The sun was at a perfect angle to give a beautiful, scenic view that you insisted on stopping to sketch out. He sat in amazement, watching you intently take it all in, finding it fascinating how you put every little detail on the paper, taking great care not to miss a single thing. You didn’t realize how close he was sitting to you until he sneezed, causing you to fall out of the zone you were in.

“Bless you,” you giggle. He starts to put his hand to the back of his neck and you hurry and move it down. “Stop that, silly.”

“Sorry. I distracted you.”

“You’re sitting pretty close. Maybe you’re allergic to me.”

“Impossible. You’re the only remedy to my ailment…” His voice went lower as he finished the last word, staring deep into your eyes, wanting so bad to take you into his arms, kiss you, and forget about the world.

You feel yourself getting sucked back in, so you hurry and clear your throat, breaking the trance and turning back to your sketchbook. “I’m almost done, then we can go.” You both pretend that nothing had just happened and stay quiet, him continuing to watch you.

“What are you doing tonight? Anything planned?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Nope. Nothing going on.” You answer him, but your eyes don’t move from your book.

He adjusts his position, feeling a little bit anxious. “Come with me down to Headley,” he blurts out.

You start laughing. “Why in the world are you going there?” You had been there before and there was no reason you ever wanted to go back. “That is possibly the most boring place on the entire planet.”

“It’s a surprise.” You look over at him and he’s smiling mischievously.

You give a slight grin and look back to your drawing. “I never said I was going,” you tease.

“Come…” he pleads.

You give him a side-eyed glare. “I’m not really keen on being a third-wheel, Brian.”

“You won’t be. Jane isn’t coming. She’s visiting her mum for the week,” he shrugs. He can see in your eyes that you’re considering it. “It’ll be our secret. Come on.”

You give in. You can’t resist him, no matter how hard you try. “This better be a good surprise.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ The car ride was about an hour. It didn't seem that long, not that you cared. You and Brian shared stories, cracked jokes, sang whatever was on the radio – pretty badly, on your part – enjoying every single second. It had been far too long since the two of you hung out together, and you missed it. Brian soon pulled over on the side of the road. There was nothing around but empty fields and the powerful light of the full moon.

“Well, here we are." He flashes you excited smile before rushing out of the car and opening the trunk.

You walk around to see what was going on, unsure of what was going on and why he was so excited about being in the middle of nowhere. "Do you need help?"

He hands you a couple of blankets with a huge smile on his face. "Carry these. I'll get the rest..." he pulls out his telescope. "Come on!” He tilts his head to the side, beckoning you to follow him, which you do somewhat hesitantly.

When you stop walking, you lay out the blankets, take a seat and start watching Brian fiddle around with the telescope. "Ah, there you are," you hear him eventually say, and you start giggling. He realizes he said that out loud and pulled his eye away from the telescope with a shy grin. "Well, come see." He motioned his hands and you crawl over. "Here - look through there." He put his hand on the small of your back as you bend over to look through the telescope.

"Oh my god, Brian, that's... Wow!" It was very small, but there it was. Saturn. "Look at that..." He remembered you telling him you had never seen it.

He moves over to the blanket and lays on his side, propped up on his arm. He watches you as you look through the lens and he can’t help but wonder if you are feeling the exact awe that he was feeling as he looked at you. When you looked up and saw him staring at you, you felt fluttering in your stomach. "Amazing, isn't it?" he asks as you looked back through the lens.

"I can't believe I'm seeing this. Thank you so much for showing me.” After looking for another minute or so, you crawl back on the blanket before laying down to gaze up to the sky. "First you show me Saturn and now I get to do one of my favorite things. You sure do know how to woo a girl,” you teased.

"Only when she deserves it." He lays down next to you, his arm touching yours. “Good thing we came when we did. It’s getting cloudy.” He kept making subtle moves so he could get closer to you, or touch you – anything to try to get your attention off of the sky and on to him, but you were resisting.

You laid there in silence for a long time, neither one of you sure what to talk about, or if you should talk at all. You couldn’t handle the quiet another second longer. “Are you happy with Jane?” you spit out. You don’t know why you asked him. It wasn’t your place to ask him.

He took a deep breath before answering. “Honestly? She’s… comfortable. Does that make sense?” You gave him a questioning look. “She’s not forever, though,” he quickly popped back. “I know she’s not.”

You thought about telling him about how incredibly stupid that reasoning was, in your opinion at least, but decided not to. You didn’t want to cause another argument. Instead, you offered apologies. “I’m sorry if my mouth caused you problems.”

“Absolutely not,” he told you. “You have nothing to apologize for. She shouldn’t have…” He took another deep breath, unsure if he should have offered up more information. “She’s intimidated by you.”

“Does she have any reason to be?” It was an innocent enough question, you thought, and, if anything, it would help you better understand where his mind was.

He chuffed. “It’s Friday night and I’m laying here with you and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be and no one else I’d rather be with. You tell me.”

You forget about the stars you were just looking at. You forget about Saturn. You forget about everything. You probably couldn’t even remember your name at this point. The way he was looking at you – he never looked at you like this before. You prop yourself up on your elbows, never taking your eyes off his that are looking at you with such an intensity that it makes your insides burn. You want to pounce, and you can tell he does too. No one is around, you think to yourself. No one would know except for us. … and it starts to rain. Fucking typical. You and Brian start to laugh. “Wow, this is almost as good as our first date when you made me work.”

“I tried to make our second date better. I’m sorry.” He’s a bit annoyed, but he can’t help but find the humor in the whole situation.

“No need to apologize,” you tell him. This one is pretty great.”

“Yeah, but what color?” he asks you, still finding your choices both intriguing and humorous.

“Hmm,” you thought for a moment. “Right now? Silver.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Out of the blue on the way back home, during an odd moment of quiet, he started talking about Jane. “It’s true. Everything you told her. She is a bitch and I can’t stand to be around her sometimes. She’s not always bad, Y/N, but she has her moments.”

“No. She’s always bad,” you sneer. “You can defend her all you want, but she’s the worst kind of person. All nice and sweet but really a raging bitch. That’s what Jane is.” He didn’t like what you were saying, but he understood why you feel the way you do. “I’m sorry, but she is. She’s horrible.”

He grabs the back of his neck with his hand. He’s embarrassed. Again. And his words start to stumble. “As I said, everything you told her was true.” He looks at you, hoping you understand what he’s trying to say, but you don’t. “Your name. I said your name one time.” He looks over at you, shame all over his face, hoping you understand what he’s saying so he doesn’t have to say more before hurrying to look away. You’re stunned. You said his name, too, that first night with Roger. Part of you wanted to tell him, but you didn’t dare. “That’s why she got so upset with you. She tried to keep it in, but she couldn’t help it. And when you told her what you did, about me saying your name, she thought I had told you about that.” You look at him and see the agony in his face, only you don’t know what he’s exactly agonizing about. You try to speak, but he won’t let you. “No! No talking. I probably shouldn’t have told you.” He sighed. “I’m just not happy with her right now.”

“Then why are you with her?” You want an actual answer, but he’s not giving you one. He’s not saying anything at all. “Right, because she’s comfortable.” You quickly decide to cut the seriousness of the conversation, not wanting to become frustrated and ruin the last few minutes of the ride, so you opt to start picking on him. “You’re afraid of change, aren’t you?”

He shrugs. “I like to have everything in order.”

“You will stay in a relationship just because if you don’t it would change things up a little?”

He rolls his eyes, feeling a bit embarrassed by the topic. “You make me sound so boring.”

“Come on, Brian. Break the monotony,” you try to encourage him, half teasing, half serious. “Do something spontaneous,” you crack.

He decided to start picking back at you. “What, like move to another country?”

“No don’t do that. That’s stupid.” You give him a sarcastic grin.

“Am I really that boring?” His question is genuine.

“You are not boring.” You can tell by the look on his face that he doesn’t believe you. “You’re not! Have you ever had a conversation with yourself? You’re not boring at all.”

He still doesn’t believe you, and he’s obviously in need of some encouragement. “But I act boring. I don’t do… spontaneous things.”

“We went to Headley.”

“That wasn’t spontaneous. That was planned.”

You have to laugh at his meticulousness. “Do you really plan everything?”

You can tell by the look on his face that he’s almost ashamed to answer that and starts to try to hold back a smile. “See? Boring.”

“I wish I had that kind of stability,” you sigh as you lean your head back on the seat.

“From the stories you’ve told me, you’ve had an exciting life so far. For you, stability would be… boring,” he smirks.

“Oh please, Brian, half of the shit I did was so stupid, not exciting. Do you really think it was smart for a 16-year-old girl to leave home with a 25-year-old who took her to San Francisco?” You look at each other for a second before the laughter catches up to you. “See? I need stability.”

“And maybe I need spontaneity.”

He starts to turn the car down the street to go home. “No!” you yell, startling him, which causes you to giggle. “Don’t go home yet.”

He stopped the car in the middle of the street, looking at you with an almost panic-stricken face. “Where am I supposed to go?”

“I don’t know. Be spontaneous!” He can see that you’re serious, but he has absolutely no idea where you want him to go. “Our clothes are dry. Our hair may be a mess but who cares. Be… spontaneous.” You give him an encouraging smile, so he doesn’t continue to the route back to the flat.

You spend the next couple of hours driving around, stopping at random places, grabbing a quick bite to eat, even ducking in to a club to listen to a band play. Everything was going great until he started running into people he knew. “This is my friend, Y/N,” he would introduce you as, which was fine – that’s all you were – until he saw Jane’s roommate. That’s when he introduced you as his “neighbor” who just so happened to be at the same place he was, and you didn’t appreciate that one bit. You understood why, but inside you were getting emotional, wishing that the two of you didn’t have to hide the fact that you were enjoying this night together from anyone.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” you tell the roommate, “but I must be going home now.” You stand and glare at Brian. “Guess I’ll see you around, neighbor,” you told him with a sigh of irritation. You walk out the door and Brian runs after you.

“Y/N! Wait!” he calls out before you stop and turn around waiting for him to catch up. “Where are you going?”

Your brows furrow, wondering why he doesn’t understand what just happened. “I’m going home.” You turned to walk away but he grabbed your arm and pulled you back. “Brian, if you can’t be honest about who I am…”

“I said you’re my friend. What’s dishonest about that?”

“Your neighbor. I’m just your neighbor. After everything, I’m your neighbor who you happened to run into.” You don’t know why it stung when you heard him introduce you like that, but it did, and as you thought about it again, the stinging came back. “If you must hide me, your friend, then maybe…”

“Don’t say it. Do not.” The worry started to grow on his face. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to cause problems with…”

“With Jane, yeah, I get it,” you whispered as your eyes started to well up. “You’re not the first person who’s afraid to be seen with me.”

He grabs you into a hug, trying to console you, but you don’t hug him back. “I’m not afraid to be seen with you, Y/N.”

You push yourself away and speak through tears. “If you weren’t, then I wouldn’t just be your neighbor.” You wipe your eyes, clear your throat and look back at Brian. “I’ll see you around, Bri.” You flash a small smile and go home.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ “Where the hell have you been?” Freddie yells at you when you walk in the door about an hour later, opting to take the long way back home. “I was worried about you!” He ran to you, grabbing you in his arms and picking you up as he hugged you like he hasn’t seen you in years.

“He was about to gather a search team to go look for you,” Roger joked from the sofa.

“I was with Brian,” you told them. Freddie looked relieved, but Roger’s smile fell off his face into a slightly heartbroken expression. “I ran into him at the planetarium earlier today.” You walk to the kitchen and they both follow you. “I thought it was time to end the tension,” you started to explain as you began to make a pot of coffee. “I think everything will be okay now. I’m sorry if any of the crap between Brian and I bothered you.” Your attention fell to Roger who was standing across the room, unsure how to register the look he’s giving you.

Freddie dramatically clears his throat to get your attention, so you turn to face him now that he’s standing next to you. “Well now that you’re home, I’m going to bed.” He grabs your face and gets close. “Don’t do that to me again.” He kisses your nose and goes off to his room. “No funny business in there, you two,” he yells out as he walks away. “And please, keep it down tonight. I’m exhausted!”

You roll your eyes and grin as you turn back look at Roger who still has the same look on his face. You walk over to him and tug on his jacket. “What’s wrong?” you quietly ask, searching his face for any sort of hint as to why he looks so upset.

He rests his arms on your shoulders, his expression not changing. “Nothing,” he whispered. “Did you have a good time?” He tried to sound interested, but you can tell that he’s a tiny bit jealous.

You wrap your arms around his waist and pull yourself into a hug, which he reciprocates, and rest your head on his chest. “I took a ride with him down to Headley to see Saturn. I thought it would give us a chance to talk through everything.” You don’t want to let him go, and you don’t want him to let you go. This hug is exactly what you needed and from exactly who you needed to give it to you. Your body relaxed, releasing a tension you didn’t even know you had. He felt it, and he pulled you in tighter.

“Did you get to see it?” he asked, quietly, feeling his jealousy leave.

“Yeah, I did,” you tell him as you lift your head to rest your chin on his chest so you could look up at him. “It was pretty neat.” You smiled, and he smiled back at you. “And I think things with Brian and I will be better. Not perfect, and not where they were, but better.”

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as his smile grew bigger, his ocean blue eyes sparkling as they study every intricate detail of yours. He pushes your hair behind your ears. “I can’t figure you out,” he says quietly before he leans down and gives you a soft, gentle, sweet kiss, unlike any other kiss he’s ever given you while he runs a strand of your hair between his fingers.

“I’m not that complicated, Rog,” you giggle.

“No, you’re not. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” He leans down and gives you another gentle kiss. “You put it all out there. You never hid who you are, and I’ve never felt like I had to hide who I am with you.” He holds his palm to your cheek. “You make it all so easy.” His smile has never left his face.

“That’s because it is easy, at least when I’m with you,” you whisper, recognizing that the two of you may be feeling a little bit more than just friends. He leans down to kiss you again, but the two of you are interrupted by someone clearing his throat.

“Oh, hey Bri,” Roger greets him. “Heard you two had a fun night.” The two of you separated from each other and tried to act like nothing was going on before you were interrupted. Freddie must have let him in before he went to bed.

Keeping his glaring eyes on you, Brian replies to him, “Yeah. We did. Just wanted to make sure she got home okay.” The look on his face was a mixture of dejection and anger and you can tell by his slurring he’s drunk.

“Coffee’s almost done. Would you like some?” you ask him, trying to break the awkwardness that’s permeating through the air. Brian’s face is turning angrier and you’re starting to get concerned. “Brian? What’s wrong?”

He starts to laugh, confusing you and Roger. “Nothing’s wrong, Y/N,” he says through his laughter. “It’s just amazing how you can go from crying with me earlier to this.” His laughter continues and you’re starting to feel the anger build up inside of you. “How do you do it, Y/N? How do you move on so easily?” He lowers his voice to almost a whisper as his eyes start to glare at you again and his laughter stops. “Must be something you’ve learned with all of those others you… you know. All the guys you’ve had.”

“It’s always easy to forget the assholes,” you say through gritted teeth, not sure if you’re furious or seriously hurt by what he’s saying. He starts to laugh again, harder than before and Roger is moving closer to him, getting inches away before you stop him from getting closer. “Go home, Brian. You’re drunk and don’t mean anything you’re saying.”

“You want me to go home so you can fuck him again,” Brian slurs out as he points to Roger. “You know Rog, the only reason you get to fuck her is because I didn’t…”

“That’s it,” Roger interrupts. “Let’s go home.” He grabs Brian’s arm, but can’t stop Brian’s mouth from moving.

“Did Y/N ever tell you about that threesome she had?” Brian asked Roger. “Maybe you can get her to do that again for you.” His laughter is uncontrollable at this point and you’re trying not to take any of this to heart, but you can’t help it. Your eyes start to tear up for the second time tonight because of Brian’s mouth. “What, you didn’t tell him?” Brian asks you. “And why are you crying again? I hate when you cry.” He tries to touch you consolingly, but you knock his hand away.

“Get him away from me. Please,” you calmly say as you walk out. You hear the front door close as you walk into your bedroom. There’s a million and one thoughts swimming in your head and you know it’s going to be a long, long night if you’re left alone with them. You know he’s tired, but you know there’s no way he’s sleeping yet, so you tap on Freddie’s door.

“Come on,” he mumbled from behind the closed door. “I was waiting for you.” When you opened the door, he was sitting on his bed, patting next to him for you to come sit next to him. “Aww,” he says with a chuckle as he sits next to you and wraps his arm around you. “Tell me all about it.”

You take a deep breath and sigh. “Brian. It’s always Brian,” you say as you look at Freddie with an annoyed glare. “We had a great day together. We went to the park. Then we went to Headley – he brought his telescope. We looked at the stars, we went get a bite to eat, heard some music. Everything was perfect. We were getting along so good and then we ran into Jane’s roommate.” You grunt and lay down, putting your head on his lap as he starts to play with your hair. “Then he comes here, drunk, sees me with Roger, and starts being a complete dick.”

“You need to do is stop letting men control you.” Your head pops up and you give him a look of befuddlement. “Come on, what do you think Brian is doing? He’s not doing it on purpose. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it. He’s so confused about his own feelings and he wants you to stick around while he figures them out and he found a way to keep you hanging on.” You lay your head back down on his lap. “Judging by stories you told me about your ex, you let him control you too. And your dad – he controlled you so much he got you thinking you deserved nothing good out of life.”

“You’re right,” you confessed.

“Of course I’m fucking right,” he said with mock astonishment. You both chuckled before he continued. “You can’t hide shit from me.”

“Since you know so much, how do I get him to stop controlling me?”

“Well, you need to stop being confused about your feelings. Once you accept them for what they really are then it’ll be impossible for him to control you.”

“Easier said than done…”

“Everything is, but if you pay attention, you already know exactly where you want to be, and it’s with blondie over there.” You pop up and look at Freddie with a raised eyebrow, which makes him start laughing. “Don’t even deny it.” He shoves you and you chuckle and playfully shove him back. “I’m just an outside observer here, but…” You start to talk but he covers your mouth with his hand. “I know what I see! You have that boy wrapped around your cute little finger, Princess, which is shocking because I’ve never seen him act this way with anyone else. And whether you want to admit it or not, he’s got you wrapped around his.”

You give Freddie a blank, unamused stare. “Two months ago, you just knew I was madly in love with Brian because of how we supposedly looked at each other, and now I’ve tamed the elusive lion you kept telling me was bad news and have him in a puddle at my feet.”

“Oh, darling, your feelings for Brian are clearly fleeting,” Freddie laughs as you continue to give him the unamused look. “Let him go, Y/N. You both need to let each other go. He’s not going to do it until you let him go.” You realize Freddie is right, at least about Brian. “If he really wanted you, he’d be with you and not that wretched beast.”

You lay your head on Freddie’s shoulder and he lays his on top of yours. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d fall apart.”

“I’d have lost my mind a long time ago and probably would probably be somewhere else.”

“Ooh does this make me your guru?”

“Goodnight, Freddie,” you giggle. You kiss him on the cheek and walk out. “Love you.”

“Love you, Princess.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ The next morning you decide to take your sketchbook and have your coffee outside in the garden. The weather was nice again, the sun peeking through the trees, and you even heard some birds chirping. You were enjoying the peaceful atmosphere and became irritated when you heard footsteps approaching. You look up from your book and slam it shut. “Don’t talk to me right now, Brian.” He’s standing in front of you, looking like crap, probably because he was feeling a little hungover. He was the absolute last person you wanted to see right now.

He pulled out a chair from the small café table you were sitting at and invited himself to join you. Your jaw clinched, and you frowned, hoping he would get the hint and leave, but he didn’t. “I’m sorry about last night,” he said with sorrow in his voice, the same tone he would always give you when he was apologizing for being a complete jerk.

You snap. How dare he think this is going to make everything okay, you growled to yourself. “You’re always sorry. I’m tired of ‘I’m sorry.’ Please, go be happy with Jane and just…”

“Y/N…” He tries to interrupt you, but you turn it back around on him.

“No, Brian,” you grunt with force before turning your tone calmer, but still upset. “You know, last night, when you stood in my kitchen and basically called me a tramp, I think that told me exactly how you feel.”

“I didn’t mean any of that. I was drunk.” His words were falling over themselves and his face turned apologetic, and afraid of what you were going to tell him next.

“Alcohol tends to make the truth come out,” you inform him as you stand up from the table to get away from him. “So it’s clear to me you see me as some promiscuous bimbo, and that’s okay. I was at one time. But not anymore. Other people can let it go but you can’t.”

“You’re not a bimbo. At least you’re keeping it to just one guy now.”

“See? No matter how hard you try, that’s what you think about me!” You are absolutely furious. “I came here so I wouldn’t be judged anymore, and so people would stop looking at me like I was some kind of waste, and that’s what you do, every single time you look at me.” You are trying your hardest to hide the heartache. You don’t want him to know how much he’s hurting you. You want him to think you’re angry, which you are, but you think showing any kind of sensitivity right now is showing weakness.

“I’m not judging you, Y/N. I just…”

“You can’t help it. I get it.” He tries to say something, but you cut him off before the words can even vocalize. “Stop trying to make it better. Every time you try you just make it worse.” You turn and walk away, but you aren’t finished lashing out, so you turn back around and walk to where he’s seated. “Freddie never judged me. Neither has Roger. You… I didn’t expect you to.” Your eyes start to water, and it pisses you off because he’s the only one who has made you cry since you’ve been here and he’s the last person you ever thought would. “Of everyone, I didn’t expect it from you. Not the way you listened to me and seemed to understand everything I’ve ever told you about the shit I’ve been through.”

You turn and walk away, but he yells out to you. “You’re making a mistake!” His voice has a hint of concern, and you consider ignoring him, but your curiosity gets the best of you.

You roll your eyes, wipe your tears, and turn back around. “A mistake with what?”

“Roger…” he begins. “I know him. I know how he is!”

You walk up to Brian, who is still sitting down, and get in his face. “He’s never done anything or said anything to me to make me feel like a piece of shit, unlike someone else,” you seethe.

“You don’t think he’s just using you for what he wants?” He seethes at you in return.

“No, I don’t think that at all.” You calm your tone. “What I do think is that you don’t want me to be with him – or anyone else.” You start to walk away again.

“I want you to be happy, Y/N,” Brian mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear it, which makes you turn back around one more time.

“So then let me be happy. Please,” you plead with him. His eyes look down to the ground, and an expression of loss draws upon his face. Tears start to fall down your cheeks, a mixture of sadness and exasperation. “Goodbye, Brian,” you tell him as you walk away.

#brian may #roger taylor #brian may fic #queen fic #roger taylor fic #brian may x reader #brian may fanfiction #brian may fanfic #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor fanfiction #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor smut #queen fanfic #queen fanfiction #chameleon story #my stuff #my story

[scarletlotus182]

eirika, mila (whichever), wa2000 but you can't otp her with the commander

hoo boy this’ll be a long one~ 

Eirika-

Favorite Thing About Them: I really fucking love Eirika’s whole arc, I love that she’s this really kind-hearted and charismatic princess who’s the textbook definition of femininity, but also when she realizes the lives of her friends, family, and all the citizens of Renais, are on the line, she absolutely pushes back and suddenly she’s this fierce and unstoppable warrior princess and it’s fucking amazing. My girl Eirika looked Glenn, one of the mightiest warriors of Grado, in the eye and basically said, “look man, I don’t want to fight you, but if you leave us no choice I’ll send you crying back to your emperor”.

Least Favorite Thing About Them: Fandom interpretation of her and basically how IntSys actively tries to erase her role as a protagonist of the game.

Favorite Line: 

“I… We, the people of Renais, have long honored our allegiance with the Grado Empire. And you invaded without warning. You ravaged our land. You killed my father… Even then, I told myself, I must not hate Grado or her people. If I gave in to my hate, the bond between our lands would be lost forever. I refused to hate. Instead, I lived for the day our nations would know peace again. But… If this is Grado’s true face… If you could extinguish Renais without pity, without remorse… If this is the case, then there is no room in my heart for forgiveness.”

brOTP: Eirika&Tana! I never really liked them as a romantic pairing but I do love the friendship they have and how much they care about each other. I also 100% believe they would wingman for each other while looking for GFs

OTP: Self and crack shipping aside, I got two- Eirika x L’arachel is basically canon and also like, the best dynamic Eirika has in SS. Their A support is basically a marriage proposal and then there’s the scene in Rausten where in Eirika’s at her lowest point in the story and it’s L’arachel who’s there to pick her up. They’re really sweet, and really gay. 

The other pairing would be Eirika and Lyon. They have an adorable dynamic and idc what anyone says, Eirika definitely returned his feelings, Lyon just never had the self-esteem to spit it out. I definitely live for fics/content of them where Lyon can assert himself a bit.

nOTP: Literally everyone of her male supports. They range from gross to sexist to really boring. The only guy on that list that’s good is Forde and that support is like, entirely platonic imo. 

Random Headcanon: Eirika definitely gives off like, Alpha WLW vibes and has girls swooning over her across MagVel and none of it is intentional on her part/she doesn’t realize it’s happening. 

Unpopular Opinion: She is absolutely a better written and more interesting protagonist than Ephraim. 

Song I associate with them: Aside from a track within her own game, I don’t think I ever really had an ‘Eirika’ song? If I dig through what I’ve been listening to lately though I could sorta slap this one on her 

Favorite Picture of them:

Fractured Milla (’cause she needs more love)-

Favorite Thing About Them: I liked her difference in personality compared to regular Milla, I liked how she was a lot more outspoken aggressive. Xillia 2 definitely felt like it picked up a lot more once she joined the party. 

Least Favorite Thing About Them: I was really disappointed with how early she left the party and the fact that she didn’t have any mystic artes : /

Really she just felt very underutilized 

Favorite Line: ”I knew I wouldn’t like you”

brOTP: F.Milla&Elle! Their relationship is so good and wholesome in ToX2 and oH MY GOD IT BREAKS MY HEART SO MUCH, PLEASE PLAY XILLIA 2

OTP: F.Milla/Ludger- I mean, they were kinda written for each other, but still, the moments they share are really good, Milla wants to trust and like him but can’t let go of her grudge but they’re still brought together by wanting to protect Elle at all costs.

nOTP: F.Milla/Jude- Jude’s got his own Milla, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter lol

Random Headcanon: She absolutely hates the outfits Prime Milla wears and doesn’t care how many times she’s told Elle and Ludger that day about it

Unpopular Opinion: Idk if I really have any on this character, but I think she was the more interesting Milla tbh

I super don’t have a song or favorite pic but here’s more official art:

WA2000-

Favorite thing about them: her smile Her designs are always really fucking cool and absolutely gorgeous. And then personality wise I love that she’s just like- if Asuka Langley Soryu/Rin Tohsaka was a YorHa android

Least Favorite thing about them: I was gonna make a joke about how there’s nothing I could say here but then I thought about it and realized the reason there’s not much I can say is because she hasn’t been featured in a whole lot of story, but that’s more a weakness of GFL than her character. For as well written as the characters and the story are here, no dolls really get enough focus outside of AntiRain/404/DEFY

Favorite Line: ”I, of all people, am giving you my gratitude. So you better accept it from the bottom of your heart. “

brOTP: WA2000&Springfield- I feel like Springfield is just trying to be a good wingman for Wa2k and it’s really cute and nice

OTP: Since I’m banned from self-shipping here, I’ll go with the equally self-satisfying answer and say Wa2k/M16 where M16 comes in and sweeps her off her feet and Wa2k can’t handle it in the slightest. 

I also feel like there’s a decent case for Wa2k/Jill, where Wa2k saved Jill and when Jill tries to give thanks, Wa2k gets really flustered and tries to play it off like it was no big deal

nOTP: I don’t think I have one? I haven’t really seen a bad Wa2k ship

Random Headcanon: Wa2k is the subbiest sub/biggest gay disaster to ever be created in an IOP lab. When asked why anyone would make a helplessly gay combat android, Persica simply laughed before promptly removing the press from her office.

Unpopular Opinion: Apparently this is unpopular in some circles but I really do think that Wa2k is the beginner friendly SSR in the game and can work well in literally any team comp. 

Song I associate with them: Hhhhhhhh

I also feel like she’d be into Halsey

Favorite picture of them: 

#im lame and only did official art #i have more of these to get to but its late and im gonna answer them in the morning #this was really fun! #sylvastheicefairy

[ditchedxxx]

Director's cut on that kuroyaku fic you posted recently the 5 things one

Okay so that was a commission i got almost within hours of posting that i was open for them, and I had never ever written for them before, but damn was I gonna try.

So I started brainstorming and the list style fic was something I'd always wanted to try? So I pitched it to the client and she liked it, so from there I just kinda started brainstorming the lists.

Yakus was tons of fun to write. I liked the idea of him being soft and cute, so i had the teas and milk thing-- originally, he'd been the one with the lock thing? But i ended up giving that to kuroo bc yaku gets treated enough like a mom, so it was nice making him like. A little looser, here.

The next thing was the kouhai thing right, which was my way of still including the whole mom-ish thing, and like tbh the thing where kuroo starts teasing him and being lowkey sexy was SO UNPLANNED it wasnt even funny. I just realized midway through typing dialogue that, hey, wait, why is kuroo just talking to yaku what happened to the kouhai-- the whole point of this item is the kouhai-- and rather than like. Deleting my hard work (all of 2 paragraphs), i just went and typed in the bit with lev about parents and stuff. It was funny and i could totally see it happening, and from there i was like yeah, kuroo would roll with it. He likes provoking people anyway. So that was fun.

Also i think a lot of why i went in that direction was bc even tho the client actually gave me th freedom to decide whether i wanted it romantic or not, im a sucker for sexual/romantic tension, so i totally. Just like. Ran with these statements that werent like explicitly romantic or whatever, but you could sorta feel a bit of tension-- like when kuroo leans over yaku, right? Theyre pressed together, back to chest. Kuroos head is near yakus ear. Its all very to-the-point. But you do know that something is up, bc yaku notes that its probably uncomfortable, not to mention the fact that yaku actually notes that he can feel the rumble of kuroos laugh or whatever, rather than just saying, oh, hes here, etc-- like that says something. Hes paying closer attention that you probably would if ut was just. A Thing if you know what i mean.

AH the drunk thing is next this was my fave. So i couldnt think of drunk shenanigans on my own, and i ended up brainstorming with a friend over chat. The married joke ended up being brought up again while we were talking and i was like oh yknow, this could be useful. Thats how the joke ended up lasting the whole fic instead of being like. A one time thing. Honestly it was tons of fun thinking about clingy, very loose and free drunk yaku, and kuroo as a gay disaster is my fave kuroo to write, so obviously he made it in here too.

The relied on thing... that was something i put in bc i wanted something a little deeper than the random everyday stuff id put in, and i figured considering hes so often considered like. Team mom, and hes a libero to boot, like noya, he probably likes being the one to give his team faith to play their best, bc he has their backs. Thats kinda it really.

And the last thing was just me liking sappy yaku again lmao. And btw, 36 questions is totally a legit podcast musical, listen to it, it made me cry just about the same part yaku cries at.

////

For kuroo, the first item was the thing with the locks that id meant to give yaku... but. Eh. If youre wondering where it came from, its something i do. I check the locks repeatedly bc my dad gets mad when i forget, bc obvs, safety concerns. But actually, kuroos list was a little different at first. (Ignore yakus, i cant figure out how to delete the picture from here goddammit mobile)

Now obviously most of the items stayed the same, especially for yaku's, but kuroo's item 2 fucked me over bc i dont. Actually remember enough of my chemisty to produce a full-blown fanboy ramble. Sorry kuroo.

So what ended up being there was the thing with the whole "looks mean, is a dork" item. It was actually the very last thing i wrote, bc it took me a while to come up with it as a replacement.

Item three was cute and i liked the idea of it, but it took me a bit to decide on how to show it! In the end i figured it would be nice to see yaku being appreciated and how close theyve grown, so thats what i went with. I was really happy with it.

The fourth one was planned almost from the start. Once i came up with the idea for it, i knew id probably show it through kuroo getting over a break up. I didnt intend to actually include the break up. Just sorta mention it, but... it felt too short without it.

I was actually iffy about yakus sorta confession here. I had a friend who, apparently, got confessed to while she was crying in a guys lap? And thats? Dont take advantage of other peoples weak moments to get yourself in their good graces, kids. But i felt like yaku would have wanted to be honest. Thats why i didnt have kuroo discuss it with him right away, and why i let yaku pretend it didnt happen. Bc thats not the time. Yaku would want to prove it over time, and kuroo would want to be over his gf first. Its healthier that way.

The leader thing is something i feel is a given for most people, but in my head kuroo isnt the type who like. He doesnt aim to be leader. He just is, sometimes, as necessity dictates. Hes not ambitious in that sense that he runs for class president or whatever. And i felt like it was interesting to kind of play with that idea here.

Anyway!!! Thats it lmao thanks for indulging me and listening to me ramble about my work.

[pineque]

Ford’s (D46′\) Timeline

*cracks my motherfucking knuckles* alright my dudes @fordanoia asked me to share my Ford Timeline (which also includes some Stan and Fiddleford events). Now, this sucker took hours to put together so I’m putting it under a read more. The timeline is mostly about 1982 and before, but I put a few extra things in. 

Alright first I’m going to go through Ford’s diary journal for everyone that hasn’t read it and then get on with the timeline and explain how I chose the rest of the dates. I might make an ‘events only’ timeline graphic just in case anyone wants a simple, straightforward reference. If you’re interested in something like that, let me know and I’ll whip it up.

So the first date Journal 3 (J3) gives us is June 18th. The next sentence says that as of this date, it’s been six years since Ford arrived in GF. According to Ford’s own timeline, he arrived in 1975. This means that the current year is 1981. (There is one problem with Ford’s timeline. He pins 1981 as “Discovery of Muse,” but only like 7 pages earlier he wrote that Bill had been visiting him for two years so… I’m not including it). Sometime during this month, while writing about a category one ghost, Ford notes that he is a man in his 30’s.

The next important date J3 gives us is July 18th. This is the day Ford decides he needs help on the portal. The previous four pages detail Ford’s dream in which Bill tells him to build the portal and the plans for it, so I’m assuming he’d only been working on it for a week or two before he decided to call Fiddleford. That brings us to our next date, July 29th. Fiddleford arrives in GF.

Our two boys get to work and eventually hike to Crash Site Omega (CSO)(which Ford discovered two years ago aka 1979) for portal parts. Fiddleford gets fucked by the Gremloblin and spends some time being traumatized. During this week or two he makes the memory gun. Ford tells him to destroy it and Fidds uses it against him. He keeps the gun and Ford believes it has been destroyed. After this, Ford takes Fidds to the carnival. Ford gets the coolest fortune-telling experience ever, but he’s an ass and doesn’t believe any of it. Fidds has a chat with Ivan and then they go home. Fidds suggests they make an underground lab (fallout shelter) and they spend A LOT of time on it. After an accident that results in locking up the shapeshifter, they seal off the bunker and decide to work on it after the portal is done.

And now we’re back in the important stuff. A few nights before the completion of the portal, Bill offers to take over Ford’s body so he could do more work while Ford slept ((I feel like it is really important to note that Bill was only able to possess Ford for a few days before Fidds left. The possession thing was Not something that went on for years and there wasn’t any Bord and Fidds interaction/intimidation. Y'all can write or draw or make anything you want obviously and it is something that is a little contradicted by ‘possessed while meditating’ shot the show)). When he wakes up the work is competed, but his right eye is already starting to hurt.

Our first dated entry since Fidds’ arrival is January 17th, (1982), the night before Testing Day. Fidds tries to talk Ford out of testing the portal but he refuses. So January 18th, Fiddleford leaves. Ford is pissed and plans to talk to Bill when he goes to sleep, but throughout the day he becomes suspicious of Bill. That night Ford confronts Bill, as seen in the show, and he shuts the portal down. He begins his “sleep as little as possible” plan. Ford writes that “F is nowhere to be found,” so he begins to research Bill alone in the hopes of finding a way to destroy him.

Several weeks later, Ford’s paranoia is beginning to really set in. He catches his first glimpse of the Society of the Blind Eye. He wonders about them but generally leaves them alone in favor of his own problems. He begins to use invisible ink to add more information to his previous entries.

The next entry we get is something I call the Truck Stop Disaster. Ford had been getting coffee from this truck stop for weeks bc it was the only thing helping him stay awake, but while a guy was giving him advice to stay awake he hears him speak in Bill’s voice. He looks up and sees that everyone in the diner has glowing, yellow eyes. He flees the diner and runs until he collapses in a Twin Bed Motel parking lot. Plan Call Stanley begins to form in his mind.

Ford hides J2 but continues to write in J3 while he waits for Stan to come for J1. He mentions that “the first snow has already fallen,” and that he cannot leave his house until Stan arrives. However, over the next few days(?) Ford’s mind really starts slipping. Bill begins to take full advantage of his instability in order to write unsettling things in J3 and Ford is pushed to his limit. He decides to bury J3 before Stan gets there and that’s the last we get from 1982 Ford.

So now it’s time to piece together the rest. Let’s start off with one of the most interesting dates: When did Ford fall into the portal? 

My friend @killhitleragain ((I hadn’t even considered this so seriously thanks for pointing it out)) brought up that there is a bit of a problem when it comes to deciding when Ford leaves GF. There is evidence presented in the show that is contradicted by Ford’s writing in J3, so there are two possible dates depending on whether you prefer the show or J3. I’ll go into J3 first (I’ll openly admit I have a heavy J3 bias) and then I’ll go over the show. 

Our requirements for this date are that it has to be snowing, it has to be 1982, and it has to be after Fiddleford creates the Society of the Blind Eye (which happens in February). According to The Internet, Oregon’s winter lasts from November-March. J3 points to Ford entering the portal in November and not in February or March. The most telling piece of evidence is Ford’s mention of “the first snow.” By the time we get to that entry, a minimum of 5-6 weeks has already past since Jan 18th. It just doesn’t make sense for the first snow of the winter to fall in March, the last month of the season (and at the very end of the month too). Oregon winter would be over by this point and the wicked snowstorm we see Stan arrive in just shouldn’t be possible during that time of the year. Also, during No Sleep Time, Ford spent a few weeks walking back and forth between his house in the middle of the woods and a truck stop “out on route 14.” I don’t know how far away that might be from his house, but it’s probably far enough that he wouldn’t be able to get there that consistently every day in the winter on foot.

So according to J3, our first new date is November, 1982. Ford enters the portal. But now it’s time for the show route. 

Our requirements are the same, but the show, specifically the backgrounds, points to March being the month Ford left, not November. When Stan first enters Ford’s room in aToTS Ford’s calendar has a woodpecker on it. In Carpet Diem Ford’s calendar has an owl on it for July. This means that Stan had to be the one to flip the calendar. Since he left it on July, my interpretation is that he used Ford’s room from March till July, which is when he sealed the room off. Also, when Stan is walking through town after spending a few weeks holed up in Ford’s house, the snow from the storm looks like it is starting to melt. This could be because it’s March, the end of winter. 

So I’ll leave this up to you to decide which date you want to go with. I’m assuming that either month is also the month Stan gets Ford’s note and leaves his flat in New Mexico.

The dates of anything else that happens in 1982 are a little easier to nail down. Our only two sources are both incredibly unreliable and have huge holes in their memories, but Fidds’ dated memory clips help a lot. 

January 18th. Day 1 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. February 9th. Day 22 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. The creation of the Society of the Blind Eye. Sometime in Feb/Mar. Ford leaves his house and discovers the Society. July 26th. Day 189 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. “Hit another car in town today.” This is the last time we see him in his original house/apartment. October 18th. Day 273 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. He’s now filming from a motel. I believe that sometime between day 189 and day 273 is when Fiddleford’s “first memory” (the newspaper article) takes place. The headline of the paper is “Disoriented Man Found At Museum,” but what I think is more important is the actual article title, “Sent Packing.” I took this to mean that he was kicked out of where he was previously staying and had to move to the motel.

So now that we have that mess of a year out of the way, it’s time to start moving backwards.

July 29th, 1981. Fiddleford arrives in GF. June 18th, 1981. Ford begins J3. 1979. Ford discovers CSO. June, 1975. Ford arrives in GF. We know based on aToTS that around this time Stan was living out of his car. May, 1975. Ford gets his first Ph.D and is given a grant to study whatever he wants. Sometime between 1970 and 1975 is when Stan dates Carla McCorkle. The two of them spent their time at a “50's themed, 1970's diner.” I want to say that their relationship took place in the early seventies bc Stan still had the same clothes and hair style as he did in high school.

Here’s where it starts to get a little trickier, but once you have one date the rest fall into place. The youngest Ford can be in 1981 is 30, which means he can’t be born any later than 1951. For the sake of trial and error, let’s assume this is the year he was born.

June 15th, 1951. Stanford and Stanley Pines are born.

In aToTS, Stan starts his story with “It all started... a lifetime ago... nineteen sixty something.” This could be referring to one of two things. 1.) Stanford’s science project, or (what I personally like to think) 2.) The discovery of the Stan O’ War. If the latter is true, then that would put the discovery at 1961-1963 when they are 10-12 years old.

Because the boys are born in June, they’ll be 17 (about to turn 18) when they graduate. This puts Ford’s graduation at June, 1968. Stanley was most likely kicked out early fall of 1967, based on his attire and the weather. Also, most college applications and scoutings and such happen in the fall. (I’m not sure if this was the same in the sixties, but oh well.) ((WC Tech could have been doing some spring of junior year scouting, but I refuse to believe that that wasn’t their senior year science fair bc Stan getting kicked out when he was 16 is Not Allowed.)) 

Ford starts college at BackUpsMore in the fall of 1968 and will earn his undergraduate degree in 1972. In aToTS, Ford says that he went from undergrad to Ph.D three years early. The Internet says that the average doctorate takes 6 years to earn. If he started his Ph.D program in the fall and spent three years completing it, then he would end up in 1975 with a degree and a large grant, ready to arrive in GF that June. Boom. 

A few more additions that I like:

August 31st, 1999. Mystery Twins 2.0 are born.

July, 2002. Soos is adapted by starts to work for Stan at the Mystery Shack. 

Early August, 2012. Ford returns to Dimension 46′\. I really want to say that it was August 8th, but it could have also been August 1st. 

August 31st, 2012. Mabel and Dipper’s 13th birthday. The Original Mystery Twins officially make up. 

2043. Ford dies of a heart attack at 92???

Timeline complete. Message me if you have any questions or want to poke holes in my logic. It’s 3:32am so I might have missed a few things.

PS I didn’t include any Shermie dates bc I just don’t think there’s enough Hard Evidence for me to confidently make any statements about him.

#stanford pines #this is my contribution to forduary #yeah this totally counts #I'm dyyyyying oh man this took forever #gravity falls timeline #stanley pines #fiddleford mcgucket #i love these losers #forduary

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1:  Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. i don’t have one particular favourite movie per se. but  star wars: i binge watched them at my friend’s house just before the ast jedi came out. i knew nothing about star wars and watched everything within 2/3 days. then, about a week later i watched the force awakens. and that was purely because we decided to watch the last jedi (which had just come out in cinemas) the next day. honestly, i didn’t care for star wars much skdjfhdjk but the force awakens really got me into it. and the last jedi fully sold me. then i went back and rewatched and i loooove the empire strikes back. now they’re my favourite movies. marvel: again, i hadn’t seen any marvel. but i had pretty much every friend i had yelling at me to catch up before end game came out. i loosely planned on watching them, but didn’t really get around to it until i got baked at a friends house and we had nothing to do. so we watched age of ultron and iron man and some others (i was too stoned to remember). i was sold i loved every second. and the fact that i was very high and rdj was very cute didn’t hurt. i went home the next day and watched ragnarok which happened to be probably the best movie i’d ever seen at that point. the next day, we got stoned again and watched infinity war. it was so fucked but amazing. i booked tickets for me and my dad to watch end game this saturday. 

2:  Talk about your first kiss. oh god. i was 15 and there was this guy who i thought was cool. he was a friend of my very gay crush at the time. me and the crush had a falling out later on. and a lot of other fucked up shit happened around that time period. i moved to his (the friend's) neighbourhood as it happened. we got talking because we had the same taste in music. and my best friend at the time put in a good word for me. i didn’t think of him as much more than a friend tbh, but my life was going to shit and i wanted to get out of the house ad have fun. so we organised to meet up at our town’s centre shopping place. i told my parents i was going with [insert random female names here] to hang out since we moved into a new place. they bought it and offered to drive me. i honestly thought we were just going to chill out and eat food. i was also nervous that this was a set up from his friend who was my crush, since the crush hated me and probably would have plotted to do something fucked. however, it turned out not to be a set up. we ended up walking around the suburb. this was much to my disapproval, because i was not very fit and had a strong dislike for exercise. he could tell i was tired and we decided to stop and sit down on this brick wall thing at the corner of a street. there was some terrible flirting on my part, and the next thing i know i was kissing this guy. i was pretty excited because every 15 year old girl wants their first kiss. and especially edgy ones who needed a distraction. i came home with no lipstick and chapped lips. lucky my parents were too busy to notice. 

3:  Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.  most intense? i could list best friends, but in terms of intensity i think it would be this guy that i moved out with for the first time. i know this sounds terrible, but he was my best friend’s boyfriend at the time. i was pretty sure i was a lesbian at the time and i’m also not fucked up. so i wasn’t expecting this at all. because of the whole gay thing, and me being a flirty shit with anyone, i ended up very shamelessly flirting with him. he was sooo pretty, and im not just saying this. objectively, he is still probably one of the best looking people i’ve ever seen. and i own mirrors. anywayyyy, i took my sister to this lana del rey concert one day. not a lana fan personally, but borns was opening and i like him. turns out i like borns a lot. a hell of a lot. next day, i found myself talking to my best friend and her boyfriend and being like “hey i think i might be bi”. their reaction can be quoted as “oh cool okay.” the night after the concert, we got drunk. not a great idea, because i love to flirt when sober. so when i’m drunk and have literally 0 shame it’s a lot of fun but also an entire disaster. my friend bought her friend over and they were talking, which left me and the bf. the boys started teaching me self defence and were doing the whole smooth thing where they stand pressed up behind you and move your arms for you. they put me into headlocks and taught me how to get out and stuff. i was so drunk the ground kept spinning. a lot of terrible outrageous flirting ensued, like choking, touching adams apples, arm tickles, hugs that lasted 10 minutes while he had a knife in his pocket for whatever reason? more hugs like that but now featuring grinding. we slept in the same bed (just slept. nothing else. don’t get too excited). cuddling while in the same bed. laying on his chest and falling asleep. him playing with my hair. one time he played with my tiddies. this was over the course of like 9 months. whenever we werent 2 seconds away from like ..... jumping each other, we were just flirting in the most unsubtle way. obviously nothing happened, because he had a gf and everything. and as much as i didnt want to, i started to get some reeeeeal feelings. turns out the guy was a dick who only flirted with me whenever his gf wasnt paying attention to me. i later cut the whole thing off, and he started to act like a real dick to me. but yeaaahh. that was some intense shit. 

4:  Talk about the thing you regret most so far. probably not getting a license for any vehicle. that’s held me back so much the last 5 years. i wouldn’t have had to go through half the shit i did, if i could just drive

5:  Talk about the best birthday you've had. my 15th birthday! i had raspberry chocolate bullets, watched movies in class because it was end of term, my friends bought me presents to school. the guy i had a crush on came to where i was sitting and sung a song to me in front of everyone. i think my friend bought me a club penguin membership? i ate pide and played league with crush and crush’s crush.

6:  Talk about the worst birthday you've had. my 18th. i don’t want to talk too much about it because im very drunk atm but basically, i was suuuper depressed already that year. my mum was doing cocaine every spare second she could, and screwing men for it so she could get it for free (of course, none of us knew this at the time). whenever she wasn’t doing coke she was screaming at everyone for like, not taking pictures of her enough, or for eating dinner without asking her, etc. she and my dad were constantly either yelling at each other, or were 2 seconds away from yelling at each other. we went to a clothes shopping outlet. which i very outwardly expressed my hatred for, btw. my mum got mad because my dad told her not to look at clothes, because it was my 18th. my mum didn’t talk for the rest of the time we were in the shopping centre. i could feel the tension rising because they were in the 2 seconds away from having a fight period. i came home and watched sailor moon in my room alone. later my parents brought a cake and lit the candles. dad said to me “my god i am so sorry. this has been the most amazing birthday, hasnt it? you should thank your mother. she’s just the best. i’m so sorry! i never wanted this for you”. and, you know, my coke fuelled mother just screamed her lungs off and gave it right back to him. and my aries dad just yelled right back. and the candles were lit in the dark room and wax was dripping onto my chocolate birthday cake. and i hated chocolate flavoured cake. and i just wanted to run away all day because i knew this was going to happen. and they couldn’t even hold it together for me? or for my 18th? so i just sat there and cried as they screamed at eachother. i blew out the candles and ran into my bedroom and watched vines in my room. the end! :D

7:  Talk about your biggest insecurity. honestly, i don’t have a lot of insecurities. i have a lot of fears, but not insecurities. i guess i’m insecure about my body in certain places. i have a scar from an operation i had when i was 9 and it makes my stomach look chubby, but only on one side? it’s out of proportion and weird. and i have violin hips. 

8:  Talk about the thing you are most proud of. honestly, it’s so simple, but i’m really proud of still being alive. i thought for sure i’d be dead by now

9:  Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. i love my back! it sounds weird, but i have a rly nice waist and my back is sooo soft and smooth and it goes in at the waist and its so nice to touch and look at. and i have really nice and toned legs. and my arms are getting toned now too because my work makes me carry a lot of heavy stuff. and my baby sister is getting bigger and i’m usually the one to hold her. and i have nice hands too. but my favourite thing is my face and hair.

10:  Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had. oh god. not going into much detail about this at all because i spend like 3 or 4 years crying about this. it featured: 2 best friends of mine who i had been friends with for 10 years; my crush at the time; random people off the internet i’d never met before. like i said before, i was a 15 year old with a lot going on. maybe that didn’t make it okay for me to be as annoying as i was, but it’s done now. they all got into a skype group chat together without me. and call it paranoia, but i call it intuition. i knew they were all shit talking me. i could tell there was something up for a while now. they all started changing their online profiles to something that very clearly mocked me, they started making posts about me, and posts that were clearly parodies of my posts. and i sort of went along with it because i dont like to stir up much trouble. but the posts just got worse and worse to where it was like ‘you were so weird and creepy’ and calling me names and stuff. honestly, i can’t even remember anymore because i spend a while blocking it out. but it was pretty mean. but it hurt more because there were all the people i was closest to, all saying fucked up shit about me. and then random people who lived in my city who i didnt know. after the fight ended, we never spoke again. but i spend the next 2 years afraid that i would bump into somebody from online in person and they would recognise me, and the whole thing would happen again

11:  Talk about the best dream you've ever had. tbh i dont remember a lot of my dreams. i usually have nightmares anyway? i think i had a dream i could fly and had like magic powers and stuff. i was 8 or something and it was fun. 

12:  Talk about the worst dream you've ever had. after i moved out of my parents house, i had a lot of nightmares about my mum. again, i don’t remember specifics because i tried to block out the memory, but i remember feeling terrified, and then waking up relieved to remember i was out of there. after that, i started smoking weed which meant no dreaming which was good

13:  Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. i haven’t had like..... sex sex yet. i’ve been almost raped a few times? skfsdkjfl that sounds so cringey. but yeah! i dont know though, i imagine i’ll probably be super drunk for my first time. or maybe high. they make me more confident than usual. and for some reason i dont really like the idea of sex when im sober. i don’t think i’d be willing to be vulnerable with someone unless it was in a circumstance like that, maybe. and i’d be sure i wouldn’t have to see them again later on unless i wanted to. that way if i embarrassed myself, it wouldn’t matter. it would just be a terrible memory no one else would ever have to know about. 

14:  Talk about a vacation. i want one of these answers to not be about a fucked up memory of mine but i ...... truly can’t recall something? i guess there was a christmas i had when i was a kid (maybe around 8 or 10) and i’ll leave out the fucked up bits. but i stayed with my mother’s family and my grandmother owned a holiday apartment thing which had a pool and my uncles had horses and i got to see everyone and my uncles were super funny and let me play video games with them.

15:  Talk about the time you were most content in life. there was this period for about ..... 3 months in my last year of high school just before i graduated. all my assignments were over, and my major works were all finished. i was just putting the finishing touches on them. and all i had to do was study for exams. i got into the swing of school. and my friend got her license so she used to drive us places after school and we would hang out and do dumb shit together. i didn’t care what anyone thought of me because i knew i wouldn’t have to see them again in 6 months unless i wanted to. the next time was this few months after i’d just moved out of my parent’s house. probably 4 or 5 months. i had been dreaming of having my own place for like, my entire childhood. and i finally did! and it was with my best friend and this guy i really liked. and all i did was go to uni for a few hours a day. and then that was it! my time was all my own to do whatever i wanted with. i didn’t have a lot of money but i was so so so happy. i used to take myself to the movies. i was in walking distance of a train station and uni. so i could go wherever i wanted, whenever i wanted. i just felt so free

16:  Talk about the best party you've ever been to. the first part of my house-warming party was probably the best. i got really drunk, and someone’s mum brought weed so i was reeeeeally drunk and then reeeeeally high. i was dressed in the cutest outfit and a few people were flirting with me. actually, i think i made out with like 3 different people that night. and my friend bought me flowers! which i loved because no one had ever bought me flowers before. and we went to the park and i was so high and drunk and the little swing ride i was on felt like a rollercoaster. 

17:  Talk about someone you want to be friends with. hmmmmm to be honest, i’m trying not to make friends at the moment. i have a lot of other stuff i need to focus on. and having friends only leads to disappointment and heartbreak. i have a few friends i’ve accidentally made, but i’m trying to keep my distance from them so that we’re just ‘friends’ and not ‘good friends’ or anything like that. but secretly, i do love them a lot. 

18:  Talk about something that happened in elementary school. me and my best friend at the time were doing a school play about mary the saint (i went to catholic school). there were 3 of us: me, my best friend, and some guy who didnt have friends so we let him in our group. anyway, i wanted to play mary, but for whatever reason, this dude reeeeeeally fucking wanted to be mary. he started like yelling and stomping and being like “NO! i want to be mary!” and then just as he stomped his foot, a branch from a tree fell right on his head. and, without missing a beat, my friend goes “well, that branch hit you on the head so now you can’t be mary” and i laughed my ass off and he cried 19:  Talk about something that happened in middle school. omg these are all going to be funny stories because why not. so this one time in like 6th grade, we had to use calculators to do some complex maths work. and there was this one calculator that kept fucking up and giving the wrong answers. i  knew enough basic maths at that point to know that the calculator was faulty. anyway so me and my friends gave it to this other kid just to punk him a little right. turns out he didn’t realise it was a broken calculator and he finished his work and handed it in to the teacher, and proceeded to get in trouble sjlfsorerjlksjr

20:  Talk about something that happened in high school. omg so in high school i did this multimedia class. so we would film events like chapels (i went to a christian high school) and assembly, etc. and what we filmed would go on the big screens for everyone to see. kinda like a concert. and anyway, one time this kid got in trouble in front of everyone, and my classmate did this dramatic zoom on our multimedia teacher as he stormed out of the auditorium, dramatically walking out to get the kid in trouble

21:  Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. oh so this one time after i finished school i started going through rough patch #2 and i just needed a friend to talk to. and this guy from school was sort of the only friend who kept checking up on me and inviting me out places. and i liked that. i didn’t always have enough energy to do stuff or talk, because, depression. but i appreciated the fact that he cared. never thought much about it. until one day, we hadn’t spoken for like a month and he tells me suddenly that he has feelings for me. and of course, that’s so sweet and i did love the guy. but i wasn’t in the headspace for a relationship at all. i really just needed a friend. and i felt so terrible

22:  Talk about your worst fear. my worst fear ever? it used to be dying. but i think now it’s just having to go through what i went through again. my worst fear would be being a child again and being at the mercy of others and having to rely on them. my worst fear is trusting people and having them completely fuck you up. again and again. and not being able to do anything about it because you need them. 

23:  Talk about a time someone turned you down. hoo boy. i was 15 and made friends with someone on the internet who turned out to go to my school. developed a crush on him, but he was very gay. i ended up telling him for whatever reason. and that went just about the way you’d think

24:  Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

i don’t know. most people don’t know what they’re talking about when they give me advice. and i’m not saying that to be arrogant, but just most people haven’t been through much and not to sound self-pitying but i’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time. these are just facts here. so i don’t really believe what people say. i used to have this friend who was and will probably always be the only person who could ever make me laugh. genuinely. it felt like soulmates, but i was like a kid. but we had exactly the same sense of humour, and she was so witty and quick and would always have the best comedic timing. i really admired her and still do. anyway, one time she called me effortlessly funny. and that meant a lot then and still does now. 

25:  Talk about an ex-best friend. i just did, but sure. i’ll keep talking about her because i’m already thinkig of her. i’m pretty sure she was a capricorn rising. she had this really deadpan humour and it was always hilarious. we were friends since we were 4 years old. and i dont think i appreciated it as much as i should have at the time, but we really did grow up together and in each others arms. she was very cool and closed off and serious. and i got to see her funny and silly side. but what was even cooler than that was that i got to know her emotionally. she had a twin, and looking back, i don’t think her twin even saw as much of that as i got to. we used to have talks about anything and everything. you know those people who you can stay up all night laughing with and talking to and it doesn’t even feel like it’s been 10 minutes and all of a sudden the sun is coming up? but it was so effortless and fun and. yeah. it was like that. i still haven’t met anyone like that since. we later had a falling out and i met her again after like a year but we both had our walls up and that’s sort of when i realised how much we really trusted each other. you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone kinda thing. 

26:  Talk about things you do when you're sick. complain. bitch. complain some more. i usually buy nasal spray because having a blocked nose is SO ANNOYING. and otherwise, i don’t mind being sick too much. like obviously it’s not ideal but you do what you can. if i’m truly annoyed with being sick, i just sleep so i don’t have to be awake to deal with it

27:  Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body. i love girls tummys and waists

28:  Talk about your fetishes. idk i like some light bondage, light choking, a biiiiit very much maybe potentially kinda into rapeplay, and spanking is fun

29:  Talk about what turns you on. most of what turns me on is like dom/sub power dynamics. im into scanarios that have a looooot of sexual build up and tension. it’s pretty much foreplay for me personally. especially if it’s like flirty banter or implications, and dirty talk can be fun if done right. 

30:  Talk about what turns you off. absolutely not into anal at all. complete turn off. not at all into the thing where people get off on girls acting like kids, or people who think fucking someone who is asleep is hot. idk i like most normal shit tbh. anything else is probably weird for a reason

31:  Talk about what you think death is like. i think it’s probably the most painful experience you’ll ever have physically. and then everything goes black and that’s it

32:  Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. i remember my childhood house’s backyard. it was massive and had like a step in the middle where the grass changed levels. there was a swingset with a slide. and for the majority of my childhood my parents were doing renovations, so there were lots of holes in the backyard that we used to dodge. we used to catch lizards and i used to collect bird feathers. and at the very back, right in front of the back fence, my parents planted little trees and chillis

33:  Talk about what you do when you are sad. i immediately find the fastest way to be alone. i immediately listen to music. i drink or smoke or get high on something. or i try to make myself laugh if i’m at work and can’t do either of those things. if i can’t make myself laugh, i try to talk to a customer and pretend to be happy hoping that whatever they have to say will distract me from whatever i’m sad about. 

34:  Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured. eugh. every year i somehow get sent to the hospital because i can’t stop vomiting. i dont know how because its always for different reasons. but i always end up puking an excessive amount on an annual basis. the worst pain is when you can’t stop vomiting, so your stomach just cramps and cramps and cramps and you vomit but nothing happens and it just cramps again. it’s literally worse than period cramps. and mine are so bad.

35:  Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. having anxiety. i overthink a lot which doesnt help either. the thing is that i studied psychology, and i still don’t know how to stop myself from being so anxious. like i know how much it affects my work and stuff but i just can’t stop feeling like i’m about to die at any given second.

36:  Talk about your guilty pleasures. drinking, drugs, smoking, im not even guilty about those. idk. to quote niall hora- i mean pink, i’m not guilty about any of my pleasures

37:  Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. an old best friend. different to aforementioned best friend. we were friends for 6 years. not as close as the other one, but close as i’ve been to someone since. we were both depressed and going through stuff and both flirted with each other just for shits and gigs. idk. i think we really only bonded because we were both depressed and suicidal and having someone else around who is going through the same stuff makes everything so much more bearable. once i stopped being depressed i stopped being as close and as in love. but at the time, it was really nice and beautiful, we truly could talk about anything together. i could have opened with “i love being dominated in bed” instead of “hello” and she would have just rolled with it. we used to dream about the future together and hold hands and hug. idk. we used to just hang out together and there was never any pressure to do anything or be anyone. it was just us being our dorky selves.

38:  Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. goodbye stranger by supertramp reminds me of above mentioned friend, two of us by the beatles reminds me of first mentioned best friend, and i love her by the beatles reminds me of this friend group i had for 10 years. princess by shortstack reminds me of this friend i had for a few years who i almost had a thing with because i knew she liked me but neither of us ever said anything. 

39:  Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier. i wish i’d have known that it’s not a good or admirable trait to be so open with people so quickly. you shouldn’t immediately show people that you trust them or like them, and you definitely shouldn’t get so excited about things for them. it makes you look naive and they will definitely just use you.  i wish i’d known to get my license earlier i wish i’d have known what weed was like earlier. it really would have helped me out a lot.

40:  Talk about the end of something in your life. the end of high school was really hard. i know a lot of people hated high school. and i did. but once i got to my final 2 years, i had this confidence that comes with being older in school and it was really nice. i love the routine we had and the forced structure school made you have in your life. i enjoyed mucking around with teachers and that feeling of starting assignments before they’re due. being at school was nice because i mostly kept to myself and was generally well-liked. so i had this big support system that got me through a lot. and school ending meant that the support i had also ended. and then i had nothing and nobody and went through so much and had to be alone for it all. the end of school coincided with the worst period of my life #2, probably because i was at home to experience a lot more. 

#mine