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hecksupremechips · 2 months

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Ashton Frey is literally so autistic though like it’s got me making organized lists here let’s see

He’s carefully mastered the art of observation and reading people cuz he was so bored as a kid being forced to attend large social gatherings and he isolated himself and just studied the way people interacted with each other to figure out why they behaved the way they did. Despite this, he’s still really bad at understanding social cues (he is never able to tell when Rebecca is upset or what could’ve caused it, he can’t word anything properly, he talks in such a logical way that he comes off as uncaring and he doesn’t notice when it upsets people, etc) and generally doesn’t interact with most people

He’s very intelligent but hated school because the system was structured so horribly. He fell asleep in professor Andrew’s class frequently but once the professor found a way to appeal to his interests he became super committed and passionate

He’s horrible, just absolutely horrible with words and communication lol. He fumbles and stutters and says a lot of mean things on accident. He mostly communicates through his actions and it’s why he comes off as cruel and uncaring to those who don’t pick up on it and kind and considerate to those who do pick up on it (my favorite example is the difference between Rebecca and Isabella’s feelings towards him. Rebecca relies on Ashton to tell her how he feels and because he doesn’t communicate very good verbally, she assumes he doesn’t care about her when he in fact cares a great deal. Isabella on the other hand is able to get on his level a bit more, like understanding that even though he teased her about the letter he still took his day off to help her in the way he thought was best and he gave her ice cream and the charm because he cares, and she is able to see just how loving he really is)

Earning his trust isn’t easy but once you get it he WILL cling to you like crazy and shower you with memes and bad puns and do anything to make you happy

He gets a lot of attention for being hot but he’s usually oblivious to it or finds the attention annoying. He also tends to turn people off with his personality

He fixates so hard on what’s important to him that it’s detrimental to his physical and mental health and he shuts out everything else to pursue his interests

He categorizes his life into boxes and HATES when things slip out of their needed space. He finds himself lying a lot to the people important to him because he’s so desperate to keep them away from the other parts of his life. He is easily transformed by the people in his line of work and finds himself becoming like them. Also he’s kinda gullible in his job and doesn’t realize he’s been manipulated by his boss since day one cuz teehee cops are fucking assholes and he has a naive sense of justice and easily believes everything his boss tells him and it makes him the perfect pawn for some abuse (seriously i hate chief lee so fucking much god I hate him Ashton baby I’m sorry but you’re being manipulated and your boss is a monster and you need to get a better career dude)

He’s very insecure and scared of rejection and beats himself up for minor flaws. He also has trouble understanding his feelings and expressing them he tries to logic his way out of feeling and only cries when he’s hit absolute rock bottom and is like. Told that he needs to cry because he’s clearly not holding up well and only then is he able to

He’s got a damn good memory and remembers every obscure thing about his friends

He’s very attached to objects and gives them names (Shirley and Ophelia my beloved)

#the letter #the letter visual novel #ashton frey #i also got similar shit for marianne shes sooooo autistic coded its unreal #but yeah i just love the way this manifests in all the relationships like i said here the contrast between rebecca and isabella #it really shows the compatibility of the characters like i mean they all struggle with communicating a bit #but with ashton and rebecca they got the classic problem of rebecca getting upset because she thinks ashton doesnt care #because he expresses his feelings through his actions but never says the right words shes looking for #so then she gets mad when he doesnt notice shes upset with him because she never tells him whats wrong #and he can be kinda oblivious to her being upset and he says things that make it worse #its just a fucking mess they are not on the same level at all they fight constantly and with rebecca in particular shes just never satisfied #isabella on the other hand she feels frustrated with ashton too because he teases her a lot and she takes it very literally #but theyre able to find a middle ground like ashton takes responsibility and apologizes for the times hes upset her #and Isabella is able to notice how ashton has been showing his feelings through his actions like she realizes he spent his day off trying to #help her and he took her to the ice cream place cuz he noticed it and thought of her and he paid for her despite being a scrooge #and he gave her the charm even though he doesnt believe in curses because he knows she does and shed maybe feel protected with it #and its really cute cuz once she realizes this you can just see the exact moment she Gets It BAD for him #they are so fucking aaaaaaaa so good for each other i love them they are everything

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triptych-of-voids · 5 months

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Autistic medic gives me life ❤❤. Any random hcs for him? /nf /pos

of course! autistic medic is canon to me

ive already talked a bit about him being autistic before so a few of these maybe be things ive already mentioned but ill say them anyway

this is already obvious to everyone already but his special interests are surgery and medicine! anything medical really. hes also very interested in anatomy and pigeons (specifically pigeons. he probably couldnt tell you a lot about parrots for example, but if you want 100 facts about doves then hes your guy). and of course hed have a bunch of other hobbies and interests but those are the big ones

hes more prone to shutdown than he is to meltdown. not that meltdowns would never happen, theyre just more rare. usually a shutdown would come first and on the occasion hes pushed past that then a meltdown would follow, and after a meltdown then hed have a second even worse shutdown. thankfully situations like these are rare

like ive said (and drawn) before his main stims are rocking, hand flapping, echolalia, tensing up and hand wringing, and biting. a few other less obvious/not as common that he has are sparkly/flashy visual stims, he also loves both feeling and seeing anything gorey, he likes petting his birds, certain noises would be very pleasant to him like his doves cooing or coins clinking together and the sounds of the mediguns. hed love the smell of coffee and isopropyl. hed have a few others stims too but theyd be more rare and very situational like hitting himself or toe walking.

hes weird about his gloves and his coat. as in he would put them on for a specific reason but once he gets used to having them on he would absolutely hate taking them off. he has to keep them on for the rest of the day no matter what. and vice versa, if hes not wearing his gloves or coat then he cant just?? randomly put them on?? no no its all or nothing theyre either going on for combat and then staying on for the rest of the day or not at all

hes very excitable and loves to talk and if hes engaged in a conversation or excited about something then his voice will gradually get louder and louder and he'll keep interrupting or talking over people. he wont even notice it until someone points it out to him

you cant take him to the store because hes going to touch everything and then very quickly regret it when hes suddenly overcome with the overwhelming soul crushing need to wash his hands and theres no sink around. its so over :[

bad at left vs right and identifying north, south, east, and west. nothing else to say here, its not that he gets lost easily, he can find his way around just fine its just that hes awful at directions

very strict about his routines and lists. he cannot stand it if he makes plans and they get postponed or canceled. he hates it if he makes a list of things to get and then cant get everything on the list exactly correct. hes actually more than willing to do things on impulse in the moment but only if hes already mentally planned to do that or if it doesnt interfere with something else he has going on

hes very blunt and direct. he says exactly what hes thinking and answers questions very honestly and directly. people often find him to be rude for this but he doesnt get why. speaking of him being seen as rude, he used to get in trouble for always rolling his eyes or talking back to people because for the longest time he didnt realize that trying to stretch your eyes or avoid eye contact or staring could all somehow be considered 'rolling' your eyes. or rude. and talking back... isnt that how a conversation works? hes never been very good at knowing when he is or isnt supposed to reply to statements.

ive said it before but i will say it again. he has little to no empathy. every autistic person is different of course and not all autistics have low empathy, but im tired of low enpathy being seen as a bad trait. im tired of people with low empathy (autistic or otherwise) being seen as evil and uncaring. having low empathy doesnt make you a bad person. he has very low empathy and often struggles to connect with and understand others. he frequently will have the wrong emotion for the situation and may sometimes come off as uncaring when he is not as sad about something as they are, etc etc etc but he is not some horrible evil monster for it and i do not want to see anyone saying that because its just completely incorrect. hope this helps

anyway!!!! theres some autistic medic!!!! i hope you like him as much as i do!!!!

#replies from the void #autism #asd #tf2 #tf2 medic #autistic medic is canon to me sorry #i know the truth #the doc is in

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quodekash · 1 year

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HELLO I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO WATCH THE FIRST OS2 SIMM EPISODE

im really hoping they do seanmaitee and not naysean for this, bc otherwise ill probably scream and riot. i love winnysatang with all my being, but their characters in this show shouldn’t be a couple in my opinion (if you ship them i have absolutely no problem with that). from memory (and i binged simm not too long ago so i think my memory is reliable), they’re literally only in the same room together once, and they dont even interact at all. SEANMAITEE, ON THE OTHER HAND, were SO CLEARLY being built towards in the show (the way maithee would hit on so many people, and sean would constantly stop him, but then when sean watched someone else hit on daonuea but didnt stop him, and the way sean always has a protective arm around maithee, and gejrdhfbghr i could talk about them forever honestly), and then the COWARDS freaking DIDNT MAKE THEM OFFICIALLY CANON???? im so salty about this and need confirmation and i will be Angry™️ if they do naysean instead of seanmaitee

anyway, time for the actual commentary to begin (that was a really long introduction, damn) (future egg here to tell you: it gets worse. the commentary is really long on this one. it’s mostly keysmashes about seanmaithee. good luck.)

THIS IS PROMISING, VERY VERY PROMISING, PLS P’NEW AND SCREENWRITERS AND GMMTV AND STUFF, DON’T CHICKEN OUT LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME

im actually stressed out why am i stressed out

im genuinely scared for what’s gonna happen

what if they do naysean

theyd better not do naysean, PLEASE

grebghreb

(im literally 20 seconds in, why cant i just watch stuff without needing to spam my thoughts)

THESE FLASHBACKS ARE SO SWEET

SIMM HAS BEEN SITTING IN THE BACK OF MY MIND BC EVERY OTHER SERIES IVE WATCHED SINCE THEN HAS BEEN SO MUCH MORE BRAINROTTY THAN THIS ONE BUT I STILL LOVE THEM

“i still love daonuea, i love daonuea, and i love daonuea” ITS SO FREAKING SWEET WHAT THE HELL

this has definitely been said before by like everyone, but something i love about this series in particular is how kluen was terrible at showing his emotions and feelings and inner thoughts, he was this blank slate going around and showing nothing. but then, as the series progresses, he tries harder to show nuea that he likes him. but my boy doesnt have it figured out yet, and there’s communication errors and it seems like he’s pushing himself on nuea and it seems like an unhealthy/toxic relationship, but it’s not, he’s just autistic and doesnt know how to communicate his emotions and he’s trying for the first time and doing it wrong but he’s trying. and then it gets to the last episode (or two? i cant remember) and theyre so happy and fluffy and good vibes and its because he’s finally figured it out, he just has to say ‘i love you i love you i love you’ and even pronounce it to the world ‘I LOVE DAONUEA’ so that everyone knows and so that nuea knows and so that they can both finally understand and be happy and ghrbghrb they make me happy

that was so incoherent but you probably get the gist of what i mean

okay im gonna stop ranting now, im still only a minute into the episode lmao

HELL YES THIS FREAKING INTRO

MY FREAKING BOYS

THEYRE COMING BACK NEXT WEEK

ANJGHBERJDHGBERHJBGEHRAAAAAA

sorry this post is supposed to be about simm, ill try to keep the eclipse keysmashes to a minimum

AND PUENTALAY ARE COMING BACKKKK

im much more excited about puentalay than i was last week since i rewatched vvs a few days ago

NOOO THE LITTLE HAND KISS- IM GONNA CRY

TINNGUNNNNN

sorry i should stop freaking out about the shows that are coming and start freaking out about NUEAKLUEN THEYRE BACK HELLO MY BOYS

GUY4ERGHKBER SATANG

HELLO SATANG

ILY

ILY A LOT

AND MAITHEE STANDING NEXT TO SEAN AND STARING DIRECTLY AT HIM LIKE THERES NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD HE SHOULD BE STARING AT?? THIS IS PROMISING

kluen why are you slightly late

he’s gonna profess his love for nuea in front of all the freshmen isnt he

i know he’s gonna do it

“that’s the hottest senior from the faculty of dentistry” yup. absolutely. he’s gonna profess his love in front of all the freshmen

if he doesnt profess his love in front of all the freshmen, then im a bar-ba-loot from the lorax

yUP

im shaking my head in a supposedly disappointed way rn but im actually smiling bc i love him

he’s so pretty and in love with his pretty boyfriend and their love is pretty

HIS FREAKING SHIPPER FACE

SEAN’S KNOWN FOR LONGER THAN ANY OF THEM AND I FREAKING LOVE HIM

omg he did like a little sway and nudged maithee a little bit with his shoulder ghjerbgdh

by the way im gonna switch between spelling it maitee and maithee cos idk which one is right so im playing both sides, so you’re just gonna have to deal with that

(there’s a high likelihood that no one’s noticed the spelling alternations and now that ive pointed it out everyone’s gonna be hyperaware of it, but its fine)

he knows what he just did

“i just wanted to make it clear from the start in case some freshmen hit on you” i love him

also i was about to say that kluen is supposedly the hottest senior, so shouldnt he be more worried about himself getting hit on, but then i remembered that in this universe dao is the sun and everyone else is the solar system revolving around him, so of course the freshmen would try to hit on him lmao

except for sean.

sean’s a moon revolving around maitee

THE HANDS THE FREAKING HANDS LOOK AT THEM HOLDING HANDS

I KNOW THEYRE DATING AND THEY HAVE BEEN FOR LIKE A YEAR

BUT I JUST LOVE HOW THEYRE SO OPEN AND FREE AND HAPPY AND IN LOVE AND I LOVE THEM AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND I SWEAR IM OKAY (im not okay)

“but after meeting you again, i knew i must start loving you. there’s no way i will let go of you again” THIS MAN IS GONNA MAKE ME FREAKING CRY WHAT THE HELL THAT’S SO FREAKING SWEET

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

AND IT’S SO RAW AND PURE AND GHJRBDGHRB

HIS FREAKING SMILE, HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH

“you’re shy, so you’re walking away, darling” dARLING-- IM DYING

fun fact, i was watching vice versa with italian subtitles and at one point one of them called the other ‘darling’, which is ‘tesorino’ in italian, and i knew that the suffix -ino means ‘little’, so i looked up what ‘tesoro’ means and it’s ‘treasure’, whcih means if you’re calling someone darling in italian youre calling them ‘little treasure’ and i just think that’s so sweet 🥺😭

I LITERALLY JUST GASPED

THEYRE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER

AND IT’S MAITHEE’S ARM AROUND SEAN INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND???? PLEASE TELL ME THAT MEANS WHAT I HOPE IT MEANS

HE’S SO FREAKING HAPPY, IT MAKES ME HAPPY

CONTAGIOUS HAPPINESS

GRJKGB

ARE WE ABOUT TO GET A FULL FREAKING SCENE WITH THEM???

or am i clowning

i was expecting just crumbs but pLEASE TELL ME THEYRE GIVING US A FULL SCENE

PERHAPS EVEN TWO SCENES

honestly just let pawin’s characters be happy and gay

also i find it funny that the order theyre going in is the first three are all of pawin’s in a row

(and in all of them he’s gonna get a happy and gay side character plot line??? please????????)

gosh darnnit nuea is in the scene now

perhaps there will be something later in the episode? maybe in tonight’s episode??

THE SHOULDERS THE ARM AROUND THE SHOULDERS IS PAWIN FINALLY BECOMING MORE PROTECTIVE OF SEAN IS HE FINALLY REALISING HIS FEELINGS FOR SEAN AND/OR FINALLY BECOMING OPEN ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR SEAN PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S WHAT THAT IS

THE ARM AROUND THE SHOULDERS IS A METAPHOR

OR SOMETHING

MAYBE

let me dream, okay

ya know who else ignores everyone and focuses only on the person he loves intently? sean

maithee why is your voice so croaky

is that just pawin putting on a particular voice for the character

or was pawin sick

or is maithee sick

if its one of the last two, i hope he’s okay (be it the character or the actor)

so... the croaky voice was intentional?

THE L O O K

sidenote, satang is so freaking pretty. why. who decided that.

MAITEE ARE YOU COPYING THEM??? PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE COPYING THEM

SEAN WHY DID YOU LEAN AWAY YOUVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM FOR YEARS

it’s the fate of The Captain

just ask tiw, he knows how it feels

or wat, also ask wat

or aoi and jack

or- sorry ill stop lmao

kluen arent you a dentist. why are you sitting at nursing.

idk how dentist school works

did he have to go through nursing stuff to get to dentisting?

im an arts and literature kid, idk what im talking about

OMG, STRAIGHT PEOPLE??

this is a rare phenomenon, folks

hello straights / straight presenting potential future couple

omg its literally been nearly an hour since i started watching and im still only 8 minutes into the episode

OR, PERHAPS, LESBIANS???

there could be anything, really

in my mind, every single character in ever single piece of media is pansexual until proven otherwise

bro you’re leaning into each other so much, JUST KISS

also i sense that sean’s about to become the unwilling captain of yet another ship (but he secretly loves it)

kiss.

lmao theyre not sponsored by the anime sparkling water, it’s just normal water, the little plebs

soundwin were sponsored by the anime sparling water

and then tiwpor were

but soundwin did it first

soundwin always did it first

anyway, it’s seanmaithee time not soundwin time

KISS. (again, the frEAKING ARM OVER THE SHOULDER GHBRHGB)

there was a slight scene change and i thought that meant that maybe we wouldnt see much of them for a while, but nOPE, THEYRE EVERYWHERE

i wouldnt be surprised if they were behind me right now

hello seanmaitee, how are you today

(i wish)

lmao they even blurred the water bottles in post just so that everyone knows that THIS ISNT A SPONSOR

THEY BACK TO THEIR ROOTS, SEAN’S HAND ON MAITEE’S SHOULDER

BRO YOU’RE ALWAYS SMILING AT HIM IN MOMENTS WHERE IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT FITS THE CONTEXT TO BE SMILING AT HIM

YOURE IN LOVE WITH HIM

KISS HIM

“you two see that kluen and i are in love, but let me tell you that-” THAT YOU TWO ARE ALSO IN LOVE???? “we actually love each other much more than what you see” DANG IT I WAS WRONG

im right tho. seanmaithee are in love.

HES SO UNNECESSARY AND DRAMATIC, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

im sorry what the hell does that mean

omg maybe its because he knows how to make people jealous because he knows that he’s always made sean jealous and he knows that now because theyve already confessed to each other and theyre already dating???????

im definitely clowning but shut up i dont care

whoop, helmet putting on time

(guess what, soundwin did that first too-)

i smell a sponsorship in this motorbike thingy

this makes me so happy

why does this make me so happy

he knwos him so well and knows he loves art and stuff

so he wants to take him to buy watercolour

i love them

i love them so much

grhgbtrhbgfr

OH HE EVEN KNEW HE WAS RUNNING OUT OF WATERCOLOUR??? BROOOOOO

theyre so sweet

sorry im tryna take the commentary down a notch because this is long enough already lmao

FINALLY, IM FINISHED 1/4

THAT TOOK WAY TOO LONG

IT WAS ONLY LIKE 15 MINUTES LONG AND ITS BEEN OVER AN HOUR SINCE I STARTED

omg i just remembered i forgot to watch the mv for the ost for this

i was gonna do it like four times yesterday but i kept getting distracted and forgetting

dang it

OMG OISHI SPONSOR

I FREAKING LOVE OISHI SPONSORSHIP SEGMENTS

THEYRE MY FAVOURITE SPONSORSHIPS AND I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

is it just bc i love ice tea? that could very well be it

lmao nueakluen stirring things up just to make seanmaitee confused this is so funny

im loving this storyline

we’ve barely seen it play out yet but i want typhoon to be happy and this is so nice

lmao what girls

seanmaithee are in love with each other, bro

aweeee little accidental kiss

FOREHEAD KISS

“CAN I KISS YOU”

and he asked in ENGLISH

its always so offputting whenever they speak english for like one sentence bc im never expecting it

i love it

but also i hate it

why are you speaking english

stop speaking this rubbish language

it sucks

a lot

its the worst language

keep speaking thai, please

AWW KISSEEEE

“of course” STOP IT WITH THE ENGLISH, PLEASE

AWWWWWEEEEEHBRDHFGBREHJDG KISSSSSS THEY KISS

HAPPY

“you only kissed one cheek so i only open one eye” hes so silly (affectionate) i love him

brEAKFAST IN BED???

EGWSVFHGSGV “will you eat breakfast first or eat me first” bro

THE FAKE DRAMA THEYRE STIRRING UP- THIS IS SO FUNNY WHAT THE HELL

GEIRHBDGHREDB TYPHOON AND... i forgot her name. the girl. TYPHOON AND THE GIRL THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

shes so pretty

THE FAKE ARGUMENTS

ITS SO FUNNY

KLUEN’S GETTING SO INTO IT HIS ANGER LOOKS SO REAL OMG

mIN, THAT’S HER NAME, MIN

“if this thing makes them break up, let’s get ordained, shall we?” the way this is worded it sounds like some kind of marriage proposal

“i told you i already have a date with a girl” NOOOOOOOOO

noooooo, maithee had a date with a girl, and the only other person other than their group that’s going on the trip thing is nay, and theyre definitely gonna do a naysean thing, gosh freaking darnnit

unless they dont

unless maitee only had the date so that he could try and get over his feelings for sean bc hes convinced himself sean doesnt reciprocate, but my hopes are not high

BUILDING A HOUSE TOGETHER???? PLEASEEEEE

theyre so freaking in love i love them so much

LITTLE KISSE i love when they little kisse

damn its over now

NOOOOO IN THE PREVIEW THERES A SUPER CLEAR NAYSEAN THING

I LOVE WINNYSATANG A LOT BUT WHY CANT IT BE SEANMAITHEEEEEEEE

pls i just want pawin’s characters to be happy and gay in every single os2 episode that he’s in

and because seanmaithee hAVE to be together

AAAAAA

welp i take too long to watch things and now the next episode comes out in a little under 2 hours, and i started watching this about two hours ago so thats fun

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #quodekash annoys everyone about star in my mind (im so sorry)#star in my mind #star & sky #khabkluen #daonuea #nueakluen #kluennuea #kluendao #seanmaitee #seanmaithee #joongdunk #joong archen #dunk natachai #typhoonmin #mintyphoon #pepper phanuroj #pawin kulkaranyawich #satang kittiphop

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sillygoomba101 · 7 months

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how do i set boundaries with my autistic friend without having them commit suicide?

disclaimer!!!!! this isnt meant to reflect other peoples relationship, this is solely based off of personal experience and has nothing to do with whatever you have going on with your favorite people! moving on:

i need help with a situation im in rn.

i have an online friend of three years who's been diagnosed with autism, and i ended up becoming their favorite person (fp for short)

i thought it was nice at first, they really do seem to like me a whole lot, and i like them too! but i quickly realized that it wasn't as nice as i thought it was gonna be..

i found out that being an fp to somebody with autism means that not only does their mood heavily depend on me, it also means that im gonna need to spend as much time as humanly possible without break, and god forbidd if i do take a break or feel sad because thats gotta have a massive negative effect on their mental/emotional health.

that means that im gonna have to bottle up every single negative emotion and experience thag im currently going through in order not to upset them, it also means that im supposed to cut away every single ounce of "me time" and neglect myself in order to keep them happy. its been going on like this since who knows how long, it honestly feels like a decade to me, and thats because at this point ive been drained of all my energy after going through so many hyperfixating rants and apologies for something that they had no part in.

which brings me to my next point! ive looked up how to have a healthy fp relationship, but the biggest challenge in mine is actually bringing it up nicely. again, ive known them for three years, so i already know how theyre gonna react.

it doesn't matter how nicely i put it, it doesnt matter how sugarcoated it is, theyre gonna instantly assume im saying "hey, i hate you and your entire being. go fuck yourself."

and then theyre gonna assume they did something horribly wrong and feel terrible about it. but the most horrifying part isnt the fact that im just gonna end up making them feel god awful. they have a history of attempted suicide and self harm, im worried that if i try to set boundaries with them theyre gonna cut themselves again, or in a worse case scenario, kill themselves. i guess that means ive already failed as an fp huh?

i feel so selfish for not being interested in theyre hyperfixations, for wanting to be by myself from time to time, and i feel selfish for even thinking i deserve to vent, seeing as theyve gone through so much worse and that its only gonna make them feel even worse

(the lastest one was when i said "and now im feeling uncomfortable!!!" because they mentioned suicide, and they immediately started apologizing and blaming themselves for every single problem that i have again.)

i still love them, theyre one of my closest friends, but i cant continue washing my mouth out with soap. the only good case scenario that can see at the moment is just- continue to bottle up everything in my life, force myself to like the things that theh enjoy and go through all the gorey, uncomfortable stuff that they say, which feels like a horrible scenario

and the worst case scenario is, well, having one of the sweetest people in my life die.

Any kind of help is appreciated, thank you.

#help #please send help #autism #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autistic things #autistic community #therapy #user is also neurodivergent #just not autistic #ask tumblr

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marinetteplztakeabreak · 3 years

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I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:

(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)

Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.

It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.

However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.

It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.

Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare

And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind

with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them

He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.

Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.

Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.

But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)

and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.

Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.

She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find

And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”

So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with

But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice

Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.

They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream

At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”

But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)

Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.

and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”

And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”

So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”

(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)

So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”

But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.

(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)

so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting

And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.

But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.

And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving

(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)

And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it

And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently

And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice

They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song

And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,

and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross

And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other

(And then they kiss)

#ninogami #ninami #nino lahiffe #kagami tsurugi #miraculous ladybug #ml #fic tag #dont want to tag this with the other ship because the tumblr algorithm is weird #and i dont want it going in the tag because theres no content for that ship and this directly opposes it #but i respect nino and alyas relationship so much they are so good and perfect #but im also terminally a multishipper #and ninogami is so darn precious too i love them #i just try not think about the circumstances with alya in this shup #ship #just imagine she and nino are still close bros and alya is dating marinette or adrien or whoever else you want

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babysizedfics · 4 years

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I know the dark sides kinda accidentally bullied Virgil for regressing but did they know/realise that he has autism? Did they know how to help his sensory issues or did he just have to try and cope himself?

EDIT 31 oct 2020: this info is slightly outdated now as i have decided vee does not get diagnosed until he is 14

This is a little bit heavy so scroll past if u want fluffy happy stuff!! mention of internalised ableism

Janus was basically his father so yeah he definitely knew Vee was autistic and accommodated him to the best of his ability at the time - but he wasn't the most educated on the smaller aspects of autistic life, he knew the big things like meltdowns (which he was adequate at getting virgil through) and stimming (he actively encouraged it but did tease virgil about being embarrassed about it which only made v more embarrassed) and vee not liking certain textures or bright lights (not necessarily an issue in their house) but he wasn't that aware of the things that go unnoticed like small sensitivities to food and poor emotional regulation and other things i can't think of atm.

He was guilty of thinking Vee was simply picky and fussy as a child and didn't really click that it was just another part of being autistic and should have been taken more seriously. Also Janus thought it was standard for Virgil to have a proper meltdown every week, but once vee moves to the light sides its more like once every 4 weeks because its a much more accommodating environment

Also he is canonically pretty selfish, I'm not sure he would have actually sat down to research accounts of autism from autistic peoples persoectives, he probably researched just the standard medical info and considered that enough

(quickly mentioning here that janus is not bitter that virgil left. he was at first but when he saw how much better virgil was doing in the other house he was satisfied that virgil was where he belonged, even if it was still upsetting to him that it wasn't with him. it's not until he wants in on the regression family dynamic that he recognises he COULD have helped virgil feel better in the dark sides house, and begins to educate himself on virgils specific needs so that he wont make the same mistakes again as nana janus)

back when vee was a child Janus explained to remus what autism is and Remus was pretty indifferent tbh he didn't really listen and janus didn't explain vee's specific needs in detail. remus was not very considerate or observant, so tended to accidentally trigger virgil's sensory overload by being loud and stuff. occasionally he felt a little bad about it but would just roll his eyes - but he wouldn't do any loud pranks for at least a few hours after. he never made things harder for vee on purpose out of cruelty, he just wasn't necessarily willing to adapt his behaviour for the sake of virgil if it meant he wouldn't personally have as much fun.

as much as janus knew how to get virgil through a meltdown, virgil had to deal with all the smaller details on his own. he had to pick certain foods off his plate and wear ear plugs when the others refused to turn down the volume on their horror movies and he struggled a lot with internalised ableism because no one helped him with these things so he thought it would be burdensome for him to ask for help but he also realised he wasnt coping well on his own and really wanted help, he just wouldnt let himself ask for it

in conclusion, they were aware of his autism and didnt make fun of it in any way because thats mean. Still, they weren't very educated on it or considerate at the time and didn't adapt the environement much to make it easier for virgil to cope, which is one of the things that led up to virgil moving out

I want to point out again that these are realistic experiences that explore a family who did not have the tools to effectively make things easier for Vee at the time, it is not abuse and it is not "unsympathetic", though it was undereducated and inconsiderate - A lot of the reason things were so bad in the house was because the dark sides just dont communicate effectively.

janus and remus are awkward with feelings, their idea of a heart to heart is grumbling a slight reassurance veiled in 8 layers of sarcasm then immediately calling each other names to brighten the atmosphere. theyre the friends who say they thoroughly hate you when you make them laugh and they threaten to decapitate each other as a form flattery. and they dont need to change that about thrmselves, some people are just like that, to janus and remus thats their favourite way of communicating and showing affection and it makes them happy. its just a bad match with virgil who is very sensitive to even the slightest insinuation that someone doesnt like him. janus and remus arent bad people they just are not the right people for virgil to live with

I am basing this specific storyline/concept on my experiences with my family and their gradual acceptance and understanding of me being autistic. Yes it would be nice if every family instantly knew exactly how to make things easier for someone who is autistic but it's just not always that idealistic. It's not black and white, it's not either 100% supportive or 100% abusive. it's not always a linear line, sometimes families make mistakes and accidentally make things worse at some point, but what matters is they recognise and acknowledge them, apologise sincerely, educate themselves and unlearn misconceptions, and work to be better in the future!

#i am begging u not to come for janus because hes based on my mum WHO IS NOW CERY UNDERSTANDING AND HELPFUL about my autism #so pls have open minds #im not even sure i want to address this in the series at least not directly because its pretty heavy #can u tel im nervous and defensive about this one #ableism mention #nana janus #chaotic cousin remus #little/big insights #little angst #asks #indent anon

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forcedsense · 3 years

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People always get so offended when I tell them that I’m allowed to call myself an idiot/dumb/whatever but theyre not allowed to call me that and then get mad at me if i call them out on it while playing games oe whatever (not abt the rpc this is abt the rl ex friend lol) and im just like;;; we might share autism but heres the thing, I’m allowed to call myself an idiot bc i live with myself. You’re not allowed to insult me because a: its rude, and b: you’re literally calling me an idiot due to my not having a sense of direction and play styles due to my disabilities.

The very fact people STILL dont understand why insulting someone for their disabilities, or flat out saying ‘your lack of attention just proves youre the worse xx player ever!!’ is literally just ableism and offensive is why i have trust issues and am tired of other people. I am allowed to joke about my problems because I have to live with them, and in manyways yes I am just an idiot, like how I was an idiot for not realizing that a grown ass man one month younger than me always relying on me to pay for shit to do w him, guilting me out of things i want to do because he decided it was stupid, insulting half the shit i liked saying it and anyone who enjoys it is stupid, regularly using the R-slur when something dumb is done/happens (ableism aGAIN), refusing to get a license because he ‘doesnt feel like it’, doesnt even try to get a job anymore after a few rejections (which, I’ve applied hundreds of places and never even received a rejection, so im starting to wonder the validity of those statements too) and saying its because his mother wants to force him into one, abusing his siblings by screaming at them and gaslighting them constantly, but I’m the idiot and the asshole because I’m disabled, or I don’t always think first before soing things (which has led to my doing shitty or stupid things, but I have the remarkable capability of admitting when I was wrong unlike these fuckheads who, when you flat out explain in detail what they did wrong, claim youre gaslighting and abusing them when youre telling them its inappropriate and wrong to guilt trip, be ableist, insult others intelligence, and ignoring when people ask you to stop, and all the times he joined my streams and would use my birth name after I asked him not to and to use my pen/alias, always accounting it to ‘forgetting’ but after 30+ times of being told, its no longer forgetting, like thats just putting unnecessary risk and ignoring personal preferences. I won’t even go into all the bitchfits about ‘gender discussion’ or anything because it still makes me sick and gave me severe imposter syndrome for my body dysmorphia.

Respect the disableds wishes, We should not have to explain this to you. Basic human decency should just be a given, and someone telling you in detail why what youre doing is wrong, and ignoring it and repeating it again (I’ve told him before that insulting me, calling me names, and otherwise hurt my feelings and I don’t want to risk any relapses. He ignored these and continued, he’d screencap my making mistakes and putting bad things in the wrong chat, and when I would apologize for what I did when I was wrong, he’d still hold it over my head and claim I suicide baited when I didn’t. I say whats happening and assume its fine since i was always there for him when he needed me, even after he actualy suicide baited me by claiming my using a joke on him he repeatedly used on me made him suicidal and that i owed him an apology, ive literally been walking on eggshells for years and finally not having him in my life has actuallybeen so much more freeing than I ever thought it would be. )

Disabled people are very often the centerfold of abusive relationships because we’re so used to the mistreatment that its almost a fucked up comfort, we feel like our complaining about mistreatment is us ‘overreacting’ because the able bodied constantly convince us it is. That we’re always the problem whether we make mistakes or do something bad and that our apologies are always fake and wrong, but when people do horrible things to us we’re not owed an apology, rather we always owe them. It’s fucked up and wrong, and honestly exhausting. We’re not punching bags to make the able bodied feel better about themselves. Whats fucked up is hes also autistic, and should know better, but is so self possessed that all the friendships hes lost and regained over the years have never been his fault, he was always ‘being abused’ by everyone, everyone somehow is always in love with him and gaslighting him, and ive come to terms with the fact its a mental fuck up of a self centered individual so narcissistic that he cant handle the idea hes ever in the wrong.

If I talkedabout this to people, they would claim I was in the wrong for not worrying about his feeings more or ‘putting up with it because it helps him feel better, he goes through a lot at home’. Being treated shittily doesnt give you a free pass to abuse your supposed friends. His dads a piece of shit and his mom (who honestly was an amazing person as far as I saw and his siblings would talk about. but he personally always claimed she’d turn into a monster randomly for saying he should get a job or try to succeed in life, and for applying for jobs for him that e purposefully failed the interviews for. These are the exact reasons he’d bitch about her, and occasionally because he’d overhear hee claiming he was wasting his life, which is horrible to hear but still does not excuse insulting your friends, belittling their success, insulting them for their disabilities, and going through your friends for supply and then dumping them and ‘accepting them back after they apologize’ whenever you need more validation. My family life is fucked to high heaven and I still try to be kind to people, I still try to educate people, and I still do my best even if I fuck up. And when I fuck up, I own up to it and apologize. Something people always ignore and pretend never happened, because to them the disabled are incapable of apologies.

Stop talking over us, stop treating us like shit, and stop purposefully hurting us, our feelings, insulting us, and using us to make you fee better. We are not punching bags, we are real people with real issues and all your shitty behavior does is add to it.

#out.#abuse cw #narcissim cw #tbd #possibly #sorry for venting its been a time #im just tired of people and like i literally moved discords and instagrams to avoid him #because of all the bs and lies he started telling ppl abt me to get them on his side #or purposefully cht screencaps to make me looo worse than i make myawlf look already lol #im inclined to delete this in case he still stalks my accounts but my ip tracker hasn taaid anythi my #but it also hasnt shown if ppl have visited my blog at all so i think even tho it said it installed that it didnt install right #ableism cw #i went on instagram and it recced his account to me and i flipped a bit ngl #i still need to softblock on my personal tumblr or just move that too #i was inclined to do moves just bc i dont want him following where i go #and i know that even tho HE initiated no contact and I agreed to it he already broke it once #idk what to do or even if i want to do anything but the amount of bs ive put up w for years bc of him is just #yeah idek im tired but wide away i think i just needed to be emotional #ive been laying down staring at the ceiling for hours missing my dog #which i probably should have dropped this asshole whwn he made a dead animal joke less than aweek after my baby had died two years ago #something i still havent handled well and maybe never will #ima go back to watching markiplier now its 3 am and im debating getting food but idek bc nothing is quit to make #and i get yelled at dor sneezing too late at night so

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anarchistsuggestion · 5 years

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hey, vaccinate your kids you jerks!!!

thanks for coming to my essay! now that i have your attention, i think we should stop talking about anti-vaxxers like theyre all backwards hyper-religious dumbasses. like, im frustrated too, and i agree that "personal/religious reasons" should not allow someone to keep their kids unvaccinated. furthermore, as an autistic person, i despise the myth that vaccines cause autism. i especially hate that it scares people into avoiding vaccines, because theres nothing wrong with me.

but ridiculing these people will only make the problem worse, and here's why: i think that a lot of anti-vaxxers and their communities are used to feeling like the most important aspects of their cultural identities are universally mocked or demonised (im not qualified to say whether these feelings reflect reality in every case, but either way im just talking about feelings, ie, what people think we believe about their culture). for instance, my only knowledge of amish people comes from jokes ive seen others make about them. yes, none of these jokes were very serious, and its easy for me to laugh at them because im not amish, but despite my low empathy i can understand that it just feels bad to hear a whole bunch of jokes about something important to you. i'll get back to this point in a moment.

anyway, i bring up the amish because in 2014, there were measles outbreaks in some amish communities in Ohio. and i think that a lot of the people who dont vaccinate their kids are used to being ridiculed for their "weird" or "new age" or "hyper-religious" or "unchristian" lifestyles, so they just see our concern as more of that mockery. we all sound the same to them, and cant you see why?

"ughh all these people ignoring science and being stubborn about vaccines because their church said--" you sound like one of those atheists. if you cant say anything productive, please stay out of the discussion. why do you act like ridiculing people will change their minds? we should be reaching out, instead.

we need to make the effort to approach anti-vaxxers in a way that distinguishes us from those who only converse with them to mock them.

i want more people to understand that the best way to change someone's mind when they're defensive is by listening. you need to be willing to accept whatever they might rant about, and respect that, even if their fears seem ridiculous, even if their fears are rooted in ableism, their fears still terrify them. thats why theyre called fears. you can validate someone's feelings of anxiety and confusion without validating their bigotry, and you must be willing to accept that this is work. this is difficult. it's much, much harder than yelling your opinions. it's exhausting, and sometimes it doesn't even pay off. sometimes you just can't convince somebody, and you have to be able to accept that.

if this seems too hard for you, i have good news: you do not have to do it. this kind of thing is not for everyone, and it's okay if you just don't want to. this doesn't have to be your responsibility.

i only ask that you stop making things worse by (performatively, in the case of yall who arent in danger of dying/losing a loved one to a preventable disease) mocking anti-vaxxers, because we are the ones who need something from them. we are asking them to face their fears (which were sometimes instilled in them very early in their childhood) for the good of humanity. i don't know about all of you, but i'd be hesitant at best to face even my third worst fear (spiders) for the sake of strangers who regularly mock my culture and heritage, and i know for a fact that most spiders cannot harm me!

this is natural. this is human. it is easy to dismiss things you dont understand, and it's even easier to dismiss them when all the scientific evidence agrees with you. however, your evidence does not make these people's experiences and fears less real for them. it does not lessen the effect their fear has on their choices. knowing that a tarantula won't hurt me if i follow certain guidelines will not stop me from shaking and having a breakdown if i think too hard about touching one. knowing that nothing bad would happen doesn't motivate me to go over to the science building at my college and ask to hold their fucking tarantula.

there are no shortcuts here. if we want anti-vaxxers to accept vaccines and stop putting so much effort towards keeping their children unvaccinated, we have to convince them that they don't need to be afraid of vaccines. we need to actually address their concerns. telling them their fears are ridiculous is just not convincing no matter how much scientific evidence you have. this discussion has become too performative. people just tell anti-vaxxers to vaccinate their kids, and they dont bother to address the fear that motivates their opponents. they don't care that they're asking people to trust a yelling internet stranger with their child's health.

it is inconsiderate to demand things from people without stopping to think about what you're asking for. please think about it from their point of view. if vaccines were dangerous, and they vaccinated their kids, then anything bad that happened to their kids due to the vaccines would be their responsibility. and remember, these people have not been given a convincing reason to believe vaccines are harmless. okay? they do not want to be at fault for their children getting hurt. yes, they are wrong. yes, they are frustrating. yes, they are endangering immunocompromised people like my dad, but there is a huge difference between being malicious and being misguided. please do not treat them like they set out to hurt you.

also? stop telling them to care about other people when you don't care enough about them to respect that they're doing their best with the resources they have. stop saying "i dont know how to explain to you that you should care about other people" when you really just want them to magically stop being scared. maybe you say it out of genuine frustration and bewilderment, but when everyone is saying it, it comes across like a smug 'gotcha!' phrase that excuses you from spending more energy on the debate. you can just say youre tired and stop.

i am trying to explain to you that you should care that these people have felt scammed/hurt by the medical industry enough times that they feel justified in risking the health of their whole family (assuming they even think vaccines work). you should care that theyve never been given a convincing reason to trust remedies promoted by rich strangers who make claims that sound too good to be true. the government has promoted harmful things to underprivileged people before, like milk (it took me a half hour to sift through unrelated stuff about soy milk to confirm this, so i'll go ahead and link my source). it is logical to mistrust an industry that operates for the profit of people youve never met. not everyone trusts the FDA to keep the pharmaceutical industry in check, and it's actually pretty smart to rely on direct accounts from people you know personally when you aren't sure how well something actually works, and you dont trust the ones selling it to you.

with that in mind, talking to people is probably the best way to tackle this issue, but many of you haven't bothered to compile introductory information about vaccines. you havent bothered to present these resources in a way that doesn't ridicule people who are scared. i am trying to explain to you that you shouldn't debate with people if you won't treat them like humans. i am trying to explain to you that "you dont actually care about others" is a hurtful and manipulative sentiment, and when you say it to people who are trying their best, you become part of the problem. you reinforce their mistrust. i am trying to explain to you that trusting doctors doesnt make you morally superior.

put yourself in their shoes for a moment. imagine that someone comes up to you and makes it clear that they think the choices you've made as a parent are ridiculous. they make claims about your child without offering proof, or the only proof they offer also mocks you and people like you (or they just tell you to "google it"). furthermore, they tell you that unless you give in, something bad will happen to their own children, and it will be your fault.

this is manipulative. even if you are correct, it is manipulative. demanding that someone treat their child in a way that they consider harmful is just ridiculous and i don't know why you expect people to listen to you. do you expect this to be easy? do you honestly believe that if someone isn't converted within minutes, they're just being stubborn? do you think these people know the truth, and only persist out of spite?

these questions are necessary, because many of you talk about anti-vaxxers as though the answer is 'yes.' there is a difference between being correct and treating people right. please be more aware of that line in the future, and do your best not to cross it.

oh, and by the way, if i see any of you using this year's measles outbreaks as an excuse to be hateful towards jewish people, i will block and report you. antivaxxers usually arent malicious, and if you perceive orthodox jewish antivaxxers as being worse than other antivaxxers, you need to rethink your beliefs. they arent rejecting vaccines just to hurt you. maybe theyre tired of being demonised and blamed for everything from climate change to unemployment to dead kids*, and theyre unwilling to trust random people with something as important as the health of their children when a lot of us have never bothered to listen to their struggles. (* ive seen a whole lot of people saying things that border on blood libel without quite involving blood during these discussions, so can we all agree to be careful not to do anything that resembles that shit now that ive provided a handy link about what it is? thanks)

lastly, all of this criticism of anti-anti-vaxxers is very easy for me to say because i have less of a personal stake in the issue. i know it must hurt in a way i can't currently understand to lose someone to a preventable disease. if i have made anyone feel dismissed or invalidated in this essay post, i'm sorry for doing so, and i want to make it clear that it is okay if you hate anti-vaxxers. i know their fear has hurt you, and i wouldn't ask you to pretend otherwise. i dont want to make any of you feel like you shouldn't talk about your experiences and fears. i'm just asking that, before you hit the post button, you read through your post and edit out anything manipulative or guilt-trippy. your contributions to this conversation are valuable, and i want the people youre trying to convince to be able to read them without feeling like they have to defend themselves instead of listening to you. the culture around this debate has become almost hostile, and while we dont all need to work directly with anti-vaxxers to make it better, we do all need to agree to stop making it worse.

#vaccinate your kids #vaccines #anti vax memes #anti vaxxers #measles #this is almost 2000 words long jfhf #im exhausted #how did it come to this

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pastelacrylics · 6 years

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im gonna throw up bc i feel sick but this one’s for you babe 😘

Assault TW under the cut

Alright so the date started out pretty fucking fantastic and we were just being dumb kids and playing basketball, harmless and fun, right? right. anyways it was pretty good shit. we went downstairs and like an idiot i try to show him my favorite video game. it doesnt go well and he gives up but whatever. then my sister (i love her shes great and joined us up until this point) suggested playing minecraft. now, i hate minecraft. it is all the wrong shapes and triggers my ocd. i have lots of trouble with this and its dumb, i know. seeing that i was upset, he was pretty nice and said “maybe later” but like then suggested watching greys anatomy

now greys anatomy is the shit. i love it. its my absolute favorite show but it freaks my little sister out so she left. nows a good time to mention that prior o the date i said i wanna take shit really slow. like super fucking slow. that im autistic and it takes me a while to get comfortable with physical contact and i dont want that. that im ace and not interested in sex wit him. that he should avoid sexual situations bc idk what ill do. that i dont even romantically like him, just have lots of excited positive feelings about him.

i was alone with this boy. in the basement. note: i always go to the basement, and my brothers always make me uncomfortable when theyre down there. im not loud. there is essentially nothing i can do at this point. we watch a vague amount of greys, and i curl up into a tiny fucking ball. this is my normal. everyone on the fucking planet knows this is my normal. he ask if i want to cuddle, and i dont really say yes or no, but i was definitely telling him i was uncomfortable and wanted to take things slow. he cuddles me anyways, but he triggers a pressure stim so i assume it will be fine. eventually we stop watching greys and i recount all the noncon/ abuse so he gets why ive gotta take it slow

im not entirely sure how it got to this but before our vaguely sexual act he kept staring at me weird and i kept telling him to stop. he kept asking or trying to kiss me and i kept saying no. i dont know how many times i said no that night. after that he started touching my skin, but like in a nice stimmy way. i was okay with it. it reminded me of one of my friends comforting me, it was familiar. he started going towards my chest- note: im dysphoric as all hell and do NOT like my chest being messed with if i dont trust you. (Also some time during my telling him about my past he started trying to pull me into his lap. i only now realized its so id be sitting on...... anyways) i did not say no. i wanted to try. i wanted to be okay. eventually he pulled at my shirt and bra. eventually i was exposed. i said nothing. this was not something i wanted or was comfortable with, but this was MY doing. i started crying. i told him to stop. i told him no more for the night. i told him no more contact, yeah i was kinda turned on but i was overwhelmed, i was done, and i wanted to STOP. I told him it was done. We could continue to hang out, watch tv, he could go home when he assumed, but he would stop touching me. he told me “sometimes you need to push your boundaries” I tried to convince him to fix his problem so he would fucking leave me alone. he refused. we ate dinner. i grabbed another jacket and went to the bathroom or whatever. i went back down, curled up again. he tried shit again. i told him to stop. he asked if we could “cuddle” i said okay. he started involuntarily bucking. i told him this. i told him it was funny but to stop. he said okay. he didnt stop. he kept going. eventually i gave up. my brother came down and i had 15 minutes of peace. we started watching anime. he was staring at me creepy. he forced me into his lap. i told him to stop. i told him no. (i went nonverbal while he was bucking and this was him assuming i was “okay” again i guess idk it was gross) i was pushed onto my back. he pulled my shirt all the way up. he did what he fucking wanted. i gave up. he sucked on my nipples, he left a bruise on one. he moved onto my neck. he left another one there (i dont bruise easily, and i got it to fade quickly because i hated looking at the proof, and my body doesnt generally take to bruising) i was on my back. he moved my hand so i would be getting him off. he started to take his fucking belt off. i told him to stop. i told him it was time to go. I was not being penetrated without my permission ever again. he didnt want to leave. he asked me “that did nothing for you?” no. no it didnt do anything for me. i told you no. i told you i didnt want it. you make me sick. i just told him “no” and laughed it off

i told him to get an uber. i tried to kick him out. it was another 5-15 minutes of silence and avoiding touching him as he waited for his ride to come. i walked him to the door, and locked it. my mom immediately knew something was wrong. she asked me what happened. instead i wanted to throw up, and i went to bed. i told my best friend, and ex. my ex was really fucking good to me about all of this. he left his fucking hat and i want to burn it. i hate all men. i hate teenage boys. i hate misoginy. i hate that i didnt believe the last girl who was assaulted, who told me, because he lied to me. i hate that i can be clearly scared, and youd rather believe him. i hate that youre angry at me for this. i told the girl i didnt believe i was sorry, i confirmed something with the girl i fought with last year, i told my best friend and my ex. i told twitter “something happened” on private so a friend at lunch could see. i told an older friend so i could ask for help. i told my other best friend. (7 people online) but in person? i quietly told 1 friend at the beginning of the day, 1 teacher who i thought could help me avoid him, 1 friend in my group that i couldnt participate (she was his ex, shed understand) and you. thats when i fucing told you. next i told a girl who i knew was vulnerable to that bullshit, then a teacher so i wouldnt have to. see him in the next class. then i threw up and went home. didnt even tell our last friend at lunch. he doesnt know what happened. he might assume based on the other two girls but i didnt say shit. (6 people in person) ...the teacher i asked to help me avoid him told my councelor and my principal and my mom was called. I said i was going to talk to my therapist first but that didnt fucking matter, did it? no one fucking gives a shit about me and im just making this up right? I had to recount details to my mom. she said it didnt count as assault because i. wasnt penetrated (legally it does) she said it wasnt bad enough. that i asked for it. that i should have been more fucking clear. that i. was sending mixed messages. that she went through so much worse. that it wasnt worth ruining his life over. that it wasnt worth sending him to jail over, that it wasnt worth having him marked a predator over (3 girls minimum have been attacked) because im just fucking lying about this, right? and you dont believe me? well i cant fucking believe you. go eat lunch with someone else, and in the mornings im gonna hang out in the only classroom in the school that will protect me from him even though shitty people will be there too. and babe? he told me hes glad im not mad. that ill see him again “soon ;)” he sucked on my lip and made me feel violated. but misoginy is so ingrained in us that you dont fucking support survivors, and you never support me. I love you but im so fucking done.

#in the life of me #shut up Alex no one cares #txt

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gayspock · 4 years

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i have a class in 10 minuites. enough time ot anya ramble#

because ugh. idk but anya in s7 really fucking. bugs me. like

okay anya in GENERAL: i think shes a funny queen and i like her, but like.... ultimately, idk. a lot of the time, with her character, i think its gratingly obvious that she wasn’t supposed to stick around this long. and whilst i dont think thats inherently an issue... i just think it can make things rlly messy, yknow. (spike is another example where like. i didnt jhave to look it up- i just KNEW he was initially intended as a more one off character, from context)

but like with anya. they bring her in as a scary villain. shes then reduced to a joke for several seasons. and then back end of s6/s7 they try to pick her back up and- and it just doesnt... work for me like tht... like its just a bit too late and hasty and i just wish they’d started treating her properly as a character BEFOREHAND yknow. bc god up until the wedding it still FELT like she was a minor joke character who rlly got no serious handling- and then obviously xander leaves her, but idk. i feel bad but its hard to actually feel the emotional weight of that when, up until tht point, the show itself hadnt handled anya seriously at all. and even after. the stuff she does get it all seems so...... minimal?! like definitely shes in it a lot but what she does do- its hard to describe.,.. but it always feels like shes been shoved to the side, in favour of everyone else, even when the episode is supposed to be about her. like all of the actual emotional focus is on the scoobies and YES theyre the main part of the show but its like. this, at this point, just reduces anya rto more of a problem. like jesus her best friend for fuckin hundreds of years got sacrificed BECAUSE of her, after she herself . did something horrible- something arguably worse/on par with what willow did and then. afterwards we got no time with her whatsoever.

and just her backstory ep itself- id ont like it, man. i dont know. i dont like how they kinda retconned her? to me its a million times more interesting if she is the way that she is, because she was a vengeance demon for so long & is now relearning to be a human. like i love that a lot more to be honest with you and it ties in, thematically, more with other shit in s7. and also...... okay hot and controversial take her. i know shes regarded as, like, austistic coded and the retcon that she was just “always like that!” is . supposed to be more of an indication of th- BUT HEY! I DONT WANT HER TO BE! maybe 20 years ago fine and. i think its fine if other autistic ppl want her as rep? i recognise a lot of ppl would have regarded her for years as tht & i dont wanna take tht away but for me. like me personally. i dont know man i dont want a vengeance demon to be my autistic queen . at least not in the way shes executed- because like i said, like.... maybe if she was handled well, then sure, but shes treated as a joek for most of the show, then even when she is handled more seriously, theres more time spent into how everyone else is handling her which wasnt purposeful but its like an unfortunate coincedence if she IS supposed to be autistic. and yeah im brushing over the fact shes. yeah because i am a little sick of us just not getting genuinely good autistic characters but anyways

i think the whole fear of bunny things was a really irritating and. forgive me. but cringey joke too. like it reminds me of fucking (and ik obviously buffy came first... am referring to my own experiences) matt smith era doctor who. how i loathe the humour.... like ah yes we will say random absurd thing repeatedly until its humurous. hahaha. bunnies. hahaha. bowties are cool. like it isnt even funny in the first place but then its done to death- and then the fact that they tried to retroactively make that part of her tragic backstory is so........................ lazy and eye roll worthy like what are you trying to do here are you trying to do here. are the writers children is this baby hour is th-

and god theres a lot more issues surrounding her like i did not at all like her and xanders relationship. in part bc i dont like xander but like... i do think there was some genuine POTENTIAL there but they went about iniating it in the wrong way. because i do think they are compatible but just the whole... her strongarming him into going with her to prom and now shes in love with him (??) and i guess its LESS bad than when other ppl in the show are suddenly in love bcause i suppose she just isnt as used to handling and understanding her own emotions but i dont fucking know man i would have wanted some actual attention put into their relationship but frankly other than like. willow and tara did we EVER get moments with the relationships before suddenly eeyeehaw theyre head over heels and the only reason THEY did is bc they couldnt do that right off the bat bc theyre wlw ans YOU KNOW WHAT.

WE CANT KEEP DOING THIS BELOVED. IM CUTTING MYSELF OFF

#egg.txt #buffy liveblog

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chickenfetus · 6 years

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ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ????

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general?????????

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples:

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them???????

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual.

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me.

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual.

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good?????

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u.#FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

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aspiestvmusings · 7 years

Text

Random personal post: “rant”

Reasons why I am not part of any groups & any online groups/movements.

I used to talk to other aspies & follow the "aspie/autism” tags, but like with almost every movement, this one’s gone too far, too. I stopped taking part in the games when an innocent blogger was attacked simply for having a puzzle tattoo.

(backstory: in the autism community puzzles are disliked, because someone decided that the saying “autism/autistic brain/person is a puzzle” is offensive (its perceived as negative, instead of seing it my way: puzzles are awesome, so anyone who is a puzzle is awesome & why anyone finds anything offensive about it... is a mystery to me - why they would perceive themselves as faulty, when theyre great), it’s perceived as something negative + it’s on the logo of one company that deals with autism & is hated by many because of their practises)

It didn’t matter that the reason they had it had nothing to do with autism, and they didn’t even share any of the “negative beliefs”. No, just because some “thinker” decided that this word & image are now offensivee.. “because I said so”, then we must go back in time, and erase all evidence of it. No one is allowed to like puzzles, no one is allowed to use the word/image in any context... just because a small group of people sees it as a negative thing.

I do not support any of the “current wave” autism community goals. I don’t support person first language being mandatory (those, who want, should use it, others shouldnt be forced to), I don’t support banning certain words (puzzle, for example), I dont support most of the ideas... (sidenote: in our little aspie group none, besides one person who was a member for a while, supports any of those ideas either. Everyone agrees on the basic/original ideas of areas that need improvement, but none agree with the “fighting ableism warriors” ideas.)

This is also why I don’t use, in general, person first language. Because I do no have deep wounds about being different. Yes, I have issues with it (also, because I got to a diagnosis only as an adult...) and I know what is feels to be perceived as different, but because I do not see autism and my different brain as something negative (yes, it often troubles me that “normals” don’t get me/things, - but you can’t make ignorant people learn, but on a deeper level I do not see anything bad about having the brain that I do.) Hence person first language makes no sense to me, because I am still a whole and amazing person, even if I write the label autistic before the word person (word describing brain chemistry before word describing species: autistic human), and in my mind only people, who consider themselves not whole use this language. I don’t. I don’t share the communities idea that the order of words changes my perception of myself. Why someone is trying to make both autistic people & people working/being in contact with auties see them(selves) as anything less than amazing... by teaching people that someones words are how their worth is measured instead of teaching people all about focusing on the strenghts to balance out the weaknesses... makes me sad.

I general todays social media makes me sad. I cannot believe how educated people, scientists. can still believe in the year 2017 that our planet is 5000 years old and/or flat, and created by someone waving their magic wand; or that there is massive inequality in the western world... that is getting worse (the topic is more complex than just the few numbers from a few studies but its not getting worse...), or that deciding that a certain word has a negative “tone” & thus this word should be banned, and also removed from all books - future, present & past (150 years old books, about a different era, when certain things were part of the “culture” back then... you cannot write historical stories without going against todays’ rules about what words are appropriate and what are not, but erasing/changing the past & facts is a horible way to go...) resolves anything... is absolutely silly imo.

#aspiestvmusings #aspie things #rant #text post #words

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tumblunni · 7 years

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How do I write an autistic villain without demonizing autism by accident? ;-;

I’m not really sure why you’re messaging this to me. I’m really sorry but I’m not an expert on like.. political stuff about autism stereotyping, just because I’m autistic. And it depends on which country you live in, I know that america has a far more visible sort of cultural presence for stereotypes, due to the whole Autism $peaks controversies. I dont live in america and I’m not super smart or anything, so yeah this is a disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you should probably research answers given by other people too. And maybe ask people about the specific circumstances of what you’re writing, like the context of the setting of the story and what the villain is like, etc. I’d be happy to chat to you about that if you need help! (but again, im no expert, lol)

ANYWAY!

My opinion on the subject is that having an autistic villain is perfectly fine, as long as you’re not villainizing autism. Like...* Don’t make the autism the reason theyre a villain.* Don’t make people scared of them because of the autism, rather than because they’re a villain.* Don’t treat their autistic traits as scary or inherantly villainous.* Don’t make anyone insult them for their autism and act like its justified because they’re evil.

And similarly its bad form to do any of that stuff in regard to any sort of minority really. An example that always bugged me is how Excellus from Fire Emblem Awakening is scary and evil because he’s a murderous monster, yet everyone in the game constantly insults him for the fact he acts ambiguously gay/transgender/effeminate. Like, there’s way too many jokes about people finding him ‘disgusting’ because of some random thing he can’t change, like a sexuality, race or mental illness which plenty of non-evil people have too! It also lessens his impact as a villain because the characters barely even address the actual villainous things he does, and he doesnt seem to have any motive at all. They just ride on the whole ‘the audience will find him gross’ thing as a crutch and forgot to bother writing a good villain.

Oh, and your concerns are indeed valid, yo! Sometimes it is important to think about the context you created a character in, even if you didnt intentionally create any negative messages within your writing.It’s just that the case where a character will be seen as villainizing [minority trait] for being a villain... that’s kind of only in a very specific circumstance? its just that this specific circumstance is very very common in mass media nowadays.It’s ‘The Smurfette Principle’.If you only have one character of a minority in your cast, its easy for an uninformed audience to pick up messages that you’re saying ALL members of that minority are the same as them.If you only have one autistic character and he’s the villain, then you might accidentally be villainizing him. In a world where autistic characters being villainized for their autism is already very common, people could just assume you made them autistic for the same reason all those other writers did- because they think it’s ‘scary’. It feeds the stereotype even if you didn’t conciously intend it that way.

So a very very easy way to fix this problem is just to add multiple characters of a minority into your story, filling various roles from villain to hero to helpful npc. or anything you can think of!

Another good quick fix is to have your villain be autistic, but portray their autistic traits as sympathetic/relateable/a humanizing aspect of them. Not just portraying it as something neutral that doesnt make them scary, but going out of your way to add some scenes showing how they’re just like anybody else. Or even making it one of their redeeming traits!It doesn’t have to outright be something like ‘yo being autistic makes me inherantly good and childlike’, which is a stereotype all to itself, lol. But you could show them experiencing predjudice from another character, in a way that makes the audience sympathise. Honestly having a character attack them for being autistic instead of being a villain would be a good way to do this, as long as that character is actually shown as being wrong for what they’re doing. Or simply showing the villain having common autistic traits, facing common problems, doing common everyday things... that can be enough to portray autism positively. Have them shown doing this stuff outside of the situation of them being villainous. It makes them feel more human and less of an abstract symbol of evil. And because these small glimpses of normality are lightening the mood, they become seen as a positive aspect!

KIND OF AN OFFTOPIC TANGEANT SORRYJust my personal experience as an autistic kid experiencing this story... I personally headcanoned Cyrus from pokemon as autistic. Not because he’s ‘scary and emotionless’, but because his backstory was relateable to me as an autistic person. It’s said that his parents were emotionally abusive, and that he had nobody to turn to because everyone thought he was ‘a creepy kid’. And he was able to find solace by obsessing over repairing machines in his bedroom, and apparantly has trouble understanding people because they can’t be fixed as easily. Stuff like maths and science are kind of a stereotypical Special Interest for autistic children to be given in fiction, I guess because it makes you seem more intelligent when you obsess about that instead of video games, norse mythology, or collecting tiny novelty spoons from around the world XD (Yeah i was a weird kid.)So yeah sorry I went a little offtopic there, but the point is that it might have been by accident instead of intention but that villain has a lot of traits that read as autistic. And when i first played Diamond and Pearl I actually disliked him a lot because of that, I felt like they were villainizing someone who seemed relateable and potentially redeemable. I mean, he seemed pretty depressed too! Give that man some therapy! But when I played Platinum and got to learn his backstory I started to feel like the writers actually did want us to feel sympathetic to him, because of how all those ‘scary’ traits were presented so sympathetically. Like.. the backstory isn’t that he became evil because he was an autistic kid who did creepy things like obsess about machinery and suck at social contact. No, he became a villain because he was abused by his parents, him being ‘weird’ is just intended to make it clear here that he didnt deserve it. It makes him pitiable, it makes him relateable, it makes you feel so much more frustrated that nobody listened to him and saved him from that hell, and nobody even seems to remember him fondly, just because he was ‘weird’. And hell, even his ‘emotion is evil’ philosophy seems very relateable to me as an autistic child. It seems like he learned to seclude himself to avoid angering his parents. That’s the impression I got from his final scene in Platinum, where he finally acts angry at you for beating him, then gets angry at himself for expressing emotion and forces himself to go back to how he usually talks. I get a bit pissed off whenever I see fans of the series claim he actually IS emotionless, lol! This scene made it clear to me that this is just a guy who WISHES he was emotionless, somehow seeing it as the only way to be free of pain. Someone who struggles to deal with his own emotions, or feels like he’s disgusting when he expresses them. And this is VERY relateable specifically to an autistic kid who suffered from an abusive parent! “Quiet Hands” is a kind of common concept that autistic kids might experience, that’s the name for a popular ‘parenting technique’ that really fucks people up. Focusing on making your kid never ‘act autistic’, rather than actually helping them understand things. ‘Quiet Hands’ is specifically about slapping or smacking your kid whenever they show stimming behaviour. (Hand flapping being a common way this symptom can manifest.) We’re taught never to be too loud, and to always always have to restrain ourselves to avoid embarassing our parents. We have to try and learn how to act like ‘normal people’ and become scared of harmless parts of our own brain just because theyre ‘embarassing’, leading to even worse emotional problems as an adult. i mean seriously how is it logical to tell a kid who has troubles with social interaction that they shouldnt even practise it?? Plus its a huge mess to teach these kids to do way more emotional labour than neurotypical kids are expected to do, and then treat them like they’re below average intelligence for not being able to do twice as much as everyone else...

ANYWAY! That’s a thinG! Sorry I went rambling off there about how a particular fictional character touched my heart, lol!I just kinda wish he could be canonically autistic, or if I had similar canonically autistic characters to relate to, instead. So i think having more autistic villains can’t be bad, we’re so badly in need of more autistic characters in general! And villains have a unique perspective of being able to hit our emotions the hardest. I think its easier to cry over someone who has a sad backstory of how they became evil, compared to anything else!So yeah what I was trying to say before I went offtopic is that if the backstory is ‘became evil because autism’, then people will complain. But if the backstory is ‘became evil because someone mistreated them because autism’ then that’s a good way to make people sympathise with autism. Aaaaand I’m bad at explaining this, because autism XD Well, i mean, my personal symptoms and lack of diagnosis til I was an adult means that I’m still working on learning how to communicate correctly, I don’t mean every autistic person writes terrible tl;dr advice posts that degrade into pokemon XDOh man i feel embarassed now, you asked me such a polite question and I didnt know how to answer it very well...I just hope maybe I inspired you to go out and do more research, rather than putting you off with my nonsense!

#im sorry this is incoherant and bad #i didnt know what specifically was making you worry so #i tried to explain all the common problems and solutions i've seen from different villains #if this didnt help would you mind sending me another ask with what i got wrong?#or more info on your villain so i can figure it out a bit more #i hope your storywriting is going well and you have a great day!#A Nonny Mouse #ask

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smurfettte · 7 years

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💎✖️️💕🍳🍭😂

DOTT IM SO SORRY I JUST SAW THIS TY

Im still using sm*rf bc i dont want it to show up in the tags its annoying and im sry

💎 - when and how did you discover your special interest?

Ooh this goes way back.

Well, when i was about nine my parents first seperated (they did twice, ultimately getting divorced 2nd time around) for a period of two years, and during that time we had very, very little money because my mom was a stay at home mom for years and had to get a job too, so we basically had to cut, like, everything/anything extra that we didnt need. The best my mom could do so we didnt get a total shock on top of everything was to get us the smallest cable package possible (im pretty sure it was way cheaper back then too, idk if even that would be manageable now) where we had just like, a little cluster of channels; one of those was boomerang. I was really, really sad about loosing cartoon network, so my mom hyped me up about being able to watch sm*rfs, even though i only had a very vague idea of what they were. From there, it kind of just became my permanent special interest. My mom and i watched it together a lot since her mom played into the really strange christian propaganda of “demonizing” cartoons that was everywhere in the 80s when she grew up. She would bribe her brother not to rat her out when she would sneak-watch it on saturday mornings and tbh that would literally be me

✖ - Is there something you Dont like about your special interest?

Definitely. The author of the original comics was uh… a really sexist, probably racist and a homophobic guy. Which, really shows in his earlier works – the full sm*rfette story is honestly much worse than the concepts of her origin that were kept in the cartoon. The 80s retelling is basically the comic but heavily censored for over obviously sexist content, while still being sexist in itself (just in a way where, maybe for younger viewers or a blind eye, its not obvious at first). Honestly just the treatment of most of the female characters is my complaint in the way a lot of them are portrayed, but especially sm*rfette. She cant do one self indulgent thing for herself without it being ridiculed or often portrayed as wrong, even when shes like the smartest and most caring person in the village. Its annoying and not a good message at all.

Also, it tries to be written as insanely het all the time and just isnt. Like its so gay and theres so many moments where youre like “ppl really tried to pass this as het…bitch” but time and time again… straight people think its reasonable that an entire village is attracted to. a single person (who most of the time heavily shys away from affection from men too, lmfao…). REALLY hoping the new movie addresses that in some way thats not bad, but im trying not to get my hopes up (ive got my hopes up).

💕 - Something you like about your Special Interest?

Honestly this is a lot of things, but i would have to say?? Like. Everything, except the things i dont like ^. Its constantly been such a comfort to me in so many ways. I love the characters, i love how it was my first real introduction to fairytale fantasy (aside from disney) and its just… so calming. Some people find it boring and annoying, but for me it was so easy to fall in love with and kept me company/calmed me down during some of the worst times ive ever had. Even when some of those worst times were because people would make fun of me for loving it.

🍳 - do you have a stim related to your special interest?

In a few ways, yea! I do!

I always compare it to this, but i think being surrounded in things related to it is a kind of visual stim that relates to the old woman who wants most everything in her house to be green. Just as it makes her feel calm, happy, and energetic, i have the same expirience but i sm*rf theme as many things as i can, and collect ALOT. I try to be surrounded by it as much as possible, and it always helps me to feel happy and calm. If im not in a space where its all around, i’ll have sm*rf things that i use day to day, like my wallet, cups, things like that. It always provides a feeling of happiness and safety.

Another for a physical stim is that i have a sm*rfette themed slime that one of my best friends made me for christmas! (He made a little white hat to put over the lid too, it was so sweet). Its a glittery blue, and has lots of gold, blue, and flower shaped sequins in it! i love squishing gooey and squeezable stuff. Textures like that are the best ever.

🍭- a headcanon/theory you have about your special interest?

This is gonna be long and im sorry i talk so much, but Brainy, Grouchy, Clumsy, and Fette (so i dont have to block out the full word again) are all autistic!

- Brainy expiriences a lack of empathy, tends to micromanage more than one usually would (especially if one of his special interests are involved/its something he came up with himself) and, as mentioned, expiriences special interests (a need for worldly knowledge – especially of magic, and for papa, who he constantly seeks to impress and be respected by, no matter what it takes. He loves him and wants to be just like him, and often does things for him out of the blue just so he’ll appreciate and recognize him + his potential). He stims by chewing (probably with the handle of a wand) and by writing + drawing swirly doodles on paper with his quill pen. He infodumps, and he usually lacks an understanding of social cues; this often leads to him making “bad decisions” being highly ridiculed, often overshadowed by his peers.

- Clumsy does not quickly process information + events, his comfort object(s) is/are his continuously growing rock collection/garden that he waters and talks to everyday, he stims by flapping and jumping, and is very uncoordinated. There are often ‘simple’ things that confuse him that he is unable to figure out quickly (like putting together things that fold up - chairs, foldable tables where u have to specifically press something, stuff like that. I think its an autistic thing even though im not able to describe it very well since ive struggled w it all my life myself and i always get weird looks when i cant do it) and his special interest is Brainy. Because he is physically incoordinated and processes information slow, though people do stick up for him, he can often recieve even worse treatment from those around him than Brainy does, on top of being easily able to manipulate due to him being so easily trusting and loving. Because of this, him and Brainy often do everything together, and eventually their mutual love for each other + relatability brings them to be almost inseperable (even if Brainy looses his patience more than he should sometimes). aka theyre boyfriends it rly shows

- Fette struggles with anxiety (as alot of autistic people, like myself, do) and has hyper-empathy. Similar to Clumsy, Fette seeks comfort in her flower garden and flowers in general, often holding conversations with them. This actually is a real theory, but she believes that talking to the flowers will help them to grow, and cherishes them as if they were people. She knows the name of every flower in the forest and could tell you at LEAST 5 facts about every single one. She stims by flapping, jumping, and chewing on her hair. Fette is quick to act to situations whether good or bad, and raised voices from others can often send her towards a meltdown (in where she retreats to her house for solitude to calm down + renergize). Though she loves her friends and being with them, she is an introvert and enjoys being by herself or with her flowers to regain energy.

- Grouchy uses echolalia to express his emotions and partake in conversations, while being mostly nonverbal. He often seeks company in animals or baby sm*rf (who i believe is also his special interest) because they bring him comfort and dont ask him to explain or change who he is. He is often very distant from most people, and only opens up to being around people he feels he can trust.

😂 - something funny about your special interest?

It just made me type up like. Disorganized paragraphs when im supposed to be packing up my shit 2 go to my moms. Also just the idea that a whole village could be attracted to a single person and no one else… funnie as shit my guy

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triplemixedpd · 4 years

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8/12/20, 1:34am - i wouldnt dare

~text or tell anybody about my new life because at the moment, it consists of things like indulging in squishmallows and fidget toys, and the highlights of my week are either creating/redesigning a new oc or doing chores ~i dont have a job, i dont have a drivers license, but wow i dont even have a personality; literally how the fuck can i talk to anybody else when i dont know how to talk to them??? i hesitate to talk because when i texted danny to try and catch up and tell them about my surgery, i got screamed at and cried at, and then told “i cant do this; i need to sit in the back seat for a bit.” and, i got this reaction for.. doing nothing. literally, nothing. she told me that she thought i was mad at her the entire two months. but, i was texting anna??? they knew i wasnt dead??? and i texted danny on 6/23??? im, sorry??? im sorry ~dude i wish i literally wasnt so blatantly autistic. ~i cant process emotions when i desperately need to, i struggle to understand what i do wrong, i seem to do or say something wrong, or i say something that seems worrying, or just different, to others; i laugh at stupid and repetitive shit, i eat fucking childrens food, i repeat things like im fucking rain man, and im a fucking EMBARRASSMENT!!! ~i feel like ive disconnected from reality and people as a whole, bc for the past few months ive just delved into my partner, me, our mental health, and our trolls. ~but at the same time, its nothing new; this isnt new day-to-day conversation. it just happens to be all day, everyday now, in person- something that ive never had with capp before. as opposed to only getting to text them while also juggling everything else; school, family, schoolwork, mental health ~dude, being fake is hard ~ive realized just how fake i am because i dont remember how to talk to anyone else, and seeing how graant reacted just by me trying to literally text them “how are you doing? i miss you!”, im kind of fucking like??? “well??? guess i shouldve just stayed dead honestly???” ~a lot of my day to day consists of thinking/talking about our ocs and plot, drawing, watching shows/movies and playing games, and literally just trying to fucking stay afloat; that last past including a lot of abrupt, sudden suicidal thoughts and crippling fucking self-esteem, paired with hypersensitivity. that is not me being “boohoo poor me sensitive baby :(”, that is the textbook description of what i experience. thats not exactly conversation material with others ~because of melissas reaction and dannys reaction ive felt very unsure of myself - im unsure if i did the right thing or not - i dont know what i shouldve done differently, or where i messed up - i feel like a terrible person, an awful person - im upset at myself because i get really really confused by people and their expectations, or what they want me to say or do; - i wonder if im currently displaying the textbook definition of the borderline symptom “impulsive ending relationships” - and subsequently, im wondering if im thinking rationally; its kind of scary to not know, because i hate myself when im fucking splitting* ~i see that theyre upset, and from experience, i know that they require alone time when stressed. so when theyre stressed, and im the source of the stress, i leave to give her space. and what does THAT equal??? “YOU NEVER TAKE INITIATIVE TO MAKE THINGS UP” “I’M TIRED OF BEING THE ONE THAT FIXES EVERYTHING” ~WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “TELL THEM WHATS GOING ON IN MY HEAD?????” ~I WAS LITERALLY TERRIFIED TO REACH OUT TO ANYONE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY????? “GOOD MORNING DANNY I JUST SUDDENLY WANTED TO SLIT MY CHEST BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING STUPID IN A THROWAWAY CONVERSATION AND IT EARNED A SLIGHT CHANGE OF TONE FROM MY PARTNER THAT I INTERPRETED AS AN ‘I HATE YOU’ VIBE [WHEN THATS ACTUALLY NOT THE CASE ITS JUST ALL IN MY DUMBASS INFERIORCOMPLEX-HEADASS HEAD]”???????? ~IT’S A LITERAL SCIENTIFIC FACT THAT ME AND ALL OF MY BAGGAGE IS A FUCKING BURDEN!!! I CANT ENTERTAIN, CONVERSATE, OR FUNCTION WHEN IM EXHAUSTED, AND RECENTLY??? MY BRAIN IS MAKING ME SO SO TIRED ~BUT MY PARTNER DOESNT JUDGE ME OR MIND MY RAMBLINGS ABOUT TROLLS OR MY REPETITIVENESS OR FIDGETING GODDAMN IT!! I DONT HAVE TO HOLD BACK OR WATCH WHAT I SAY LIKE HOW I DID EVERYDAY IN TEXAS!!! ~I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG!!! ~”IM SORRY THAT I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AND, DARE I SAY, MENTALLY ILL, THAT I NEGLECTED TO MESSAGE YOU AND TALK”

“I! CAN’T! DO! THIS! ANY! MORE!”

- *either too cruel or too nice, too aggressive or too passive, too rough or too soft, im too sensitive/serious or “i need to learn to take a joke”, im either a disrespectful and ungrateful brat or the best goddamn trophy-tranny kid on the planet, i either really REALLY love someone or think “oh my god im gonna have to prepare to cut them out of my life so much that its already happened in my head” ~im scared that maybe im worse than i think i am, and i just dont know it; ive never told anyone the full extent of my symptoms. i guess thats why im seeing a psychologist, right?

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