#and ive been having a fucking awful time at work for the past week

[upwards-descent]

xxx

#im still so fucking upset i deleted Autumn's save #but i don't wanna start him over from scratch that just makes me feel worse #and yet also i don't even like this fucking new guy i made #hhhhhhhhhhhh #i just wanna cry for a fucking week #this is supposed to be my happy place #and ive been having a fucking awful time at work for the past week #which only makes me feel WORSE #i wanna play the video game and have fun but all my options make me miserable #hhhhhhh

[alphalesbian]

.

#................................................................................................................................. #so another update on my skin i guess . . . #about a week in and its basically everywhere on my chest and terribly on my back and legs and butt : - ( worst its gotten so far is itchy as #all hell on my side but thankfully so far thats really it....... ive maybe been tired n had a sore ish throat like when i first felt it but #not really anymore.... now its just my skin looking. awful lol everywhere #but....... i found out about this skin thing that looks Exactly The Same As Mine Looks Right Now and that ! was a major relief considering ! #its not a serious skin thing and my symptoms almost entirely align with the process so far ! ! ! #as much as i am still skeptical im just. i dont know that helped a lot i guess. everything else id found n been thinking it could be were #oretty serious things for the most part which honestly raqcking my brain about that for the past week uh #probably wasnt the best mental health decision to make OTL............... #still gonna go up the mountain for some cheap blood work tommorow..... then back to urgent care on wed/thurs to really make sure its nothing #serious which will also immediately improve my headspace regardless so. thats good too #and the help from my best friend . . . . . . . . . i am so so lucky to have him he is literally so special. i was right at the bottom and he #didnt even hesistate . crazy how that can feel so nice and hurt so much at the same time #hurt really from just honestly how immensely empty i was and how much i really needed that support #still though absolutely heated from. the initial situation and how my main support just kinda fucked off in response lmao! but #all that greif and sadness and ugly crying aside today has been a mostly good day in comparison. let alone finding out something it could #absolutely very well be and its Not Super Serious Necessarily and Pretty Common all things considered #is a big plus. . . . a lot to think about and a lot to do as always just really really gotta keep my head on my shoulders . . . . . . . . . #okay and honestly all that aside ladies it looks. so crazy. i really actually maybe am gonna take pictures of this to really document it nd #even if its a serious thing its like. so crazy looking #feels pretty ridiculous dont get me wrong it literally feels like my skin is fucked up where its raised n swollen but the pattern is #idk medically fascinating to me i guess is the best way to say it lol #how would that be for my first selfie in like 4 years teehee 😌 anyways enough of my ranting but in case anyones interested here ya go . . .

[werewolffem]

im rlly hating life rn

#i cant fucking work i cant eat i cant sleep i cant do anything #bc the past 3 or 4 weeks have been nothing but constant pain #my stomach is in ABSOLUTE turmoil #im nauseous all the time #im scared to eat bc i know i will puke it back up #or another awful way #i cant sleep bc im woken up my intense pain and rush to the bathroom #standing or walking or sitting is highly uncomfortable #ive been to the ER 3+ FUCKING TIMES THIS MONTH #i have a referral to a GI specialist but idk when theyll call to make an app #im trapped at home #24/7 in bed #bc doing anything hurts like hell #ive been thinking of dropping in front of traffic #AND NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHATS WRONG

[imjustli]

My train got bumped a second time, but we're finally rolling. I have no idea if that's a correct idiom or whatever but I'm too tired to care

#there's this family. this guy and his two very young children. they were at the platform the first time and now theyre right in front if me #the youngest is like 3. theyve been waiting for more than 4 hours. now that doesn't sound too awful. but its 22:30 rn #like how did not a single thing go right today. theres something broken at several important sections #how the fuck could this happen. we haven't even had any super extreme weathers recently. at least not worse than like 2 weeks ago #and 2 weeks ago it worked just fine #like man. somethings up #everything cant just break at the same time. if that can happen something is wrong #like one thing breaks severly? sucks but oh well its fine. two things? unlucky. everything? what the fuck #ive been praising how well the trains have been running the past few years. and now this happens #its been really reliable until now. only a few lates and cancels every now and then #like a few years ago it would come up on tge news twice a year that the weather conditions were to hot/cold/chaotic to run tge trains #but that has not been an issue lately #and tgen everything just breaks on seemingly the same day #again; public transport is great but when it fails it sure as hell fails badly

[archangeldyke-all]

Imagine Sevika and reader going at it, reader riding Sevika and then all of a sudden sevikas phone rings and it’s Silco and she knows she HAS to answer it. So instead of pulling out she just makes reader pause her movements but that makes her pissed off so instead she waits until she half way into the call and just slowly goes back to riding her.

Sevika struggling to not moan or anything in the phone, glaring at reader who has this bratty smirk on her lips and once the calls done Sevika pins her and pounds the fuck outta her for being a brat saying things like

“You wanna get me in trouble huh?”

“want my fucking cock that bad?”

“My needy little, cumslut”

:)

hehehehehehehehehe, gonna combine this with two more asks

Pregnant horny reader who is constantly ready to jump Sevika’s bones any chance she gets

hii i know youve written like the whole little fucker and reader and sev thing (trust me ive read all of them like 5 times) but i absolutely need more pregnant reader i have such a strange obsession with it. ofc if u dont want too that fine i love your work so much xoxo <3

men and minors dni

at seven months pregnant, you've gotten pretty used to being uncomfortable.

your feet and ankles are almost always swollen. you always have to pee, even when you're sitting on the toilet. your tits are sore more often than not, you run out of breath walking from the kitchen to the bedroom, and you're so round that you've had to stop sitting on the couch-- once you sit down on the soft cushions, you can never find the momentum to get back up.

so, yeah. you're pretty used to being uncomfortable.

but what you're not used to is the hormone induced, near constant, horniness you've been experiencing in the past few weeks.

you're fucking ravenous. you can't get enough. if you're not going to the bathroom to pee or doing your pre-natal yoga, you're riding sevika's face or shoving a vibrator down your pants.

you're honestly getting kind of annoyed with it-- just wishing you could have a moment's peace without feeling the need to dry hump the nearest firm surface, but sevika's been thrilled. for the first time in your relationship, you're the one wearing her out in bed.

you would worry a bit that you're too much for her or that she's only reciprocating your advances so often because your pregnant, but then you get her between her legs and see the awed, honored, slightly goofy look on her face as she takes care of you and you realize you've got nothing to worry about at all.

all this is to say-- you guys have been fucking a lot.

and it's been getting in the way of things, sometimes.

like right now, for example.

you'd woken up from your midday pregnancy nap horny like always. you'd had a dream about your wife, something vague and sensual involving her hands on your hips and her lovely raspy voice in your ear, and you wanted to find her and make that dream come true. you found her on the sofa, looking delicious as she lounged, one hand tucked into the waistband of her boxers, the other holding her phone. it took one second of eye contact for her to figure out what you wanted, a sly smile spreading across her face as she patted her lap.

so you crawled on top of her and started riding her into the couch.

it was going great. you had sevika's cock inside you, her lips against your ear, whispering dirty words to you, her nails digging into your ass and nails, and just as you were about to cum, her phone started ringing.

"you better not answer that." you say between huffs and puffs as you catch your breath. sevika cringes, guiltily. "sevika!" you scold as you watch your wife reach over for her phone.

"it's silco, it's a work call!" she whines. you glare at her, your legs shaky as you try to get off her lap. she gasps. "don't leave!" she says, pulling you back down to sit on her cock. you both moan.

"sevika i'm so fucking horny i'm going to cry if i don't cum in the next ten minutes."

"just give me thirty seconds babe, then we can get back to it." she promises, pulling you forward to rest your head against her shoulder as her other hand answers her phone.

she takes a deep breath, then speaks. "hey, boss." she says, completely casually, like she's not balls deep inside of you right now.

it's equal parts hot and frustrating. hot, because sevika's so good at controlling herself it drives you fucking crazy, and frustrating because the one time sevika's not supposed to be in control is when she's inside of you. she's supposed to be a whiny, babbling, eager mess-- not mrs. professional all cool calm and collected.

you huff, and start nibbling at the tendon in her throat. sevika's thighs tense under yours, but she doesn't make a sound.

"we can't do eight, we gotta stay under six." sevika says into her phone. you can hear the familiar sound of silco's voice muffled against sevika's ear.

you reach down to start rubbing your clit, a breathy sigh escaping your lungs as you clench around sevika's cock. she jolts, her free hand smacks your ass hard, and you have to muffle a giggle when you hear silco on the phone ask, "what was that?"

"nothing." sevika responds. "i'm outside, a car hit a pothole." she lies. you laugh again. silco seems to buy her lie, and he continues chattering. you continue rubbing your clit and grinding against your wife.

sevika suddenly pulls you away from her neck with a firm hand on the back of your neck, and she glares at you.

you snort, your free hand coming down to gently pat your pregnant belly-- the ultimate get out of trouble free card for you these days. sevika's eyes soften immediately, and the second they do, you begin to pick up your pace, bouncing on her cock while you continue to stroke your clit.

smacking sounds start filling the room, and sevika's breath starts quickening. her eyes drop to your tits, pupils wide and hypnotized as she watches them sway.

over the phone, silco shouts. "sevika!? are you listening to me?"

"fuck, i'm listening, i'm listening." she groans. "fuckin'... tell them five and a half is our final offer." she grunts.

it's all greek to you. you're much more interested in the breathy way her words are coming out than the words themselves.

you want to make her whine-- that pretty high pitched whine she likes to make for you when your riding her like this. so you snake one hand under her t-shirt to start palming her tits, and just when she opens her mouth to talk to silco again, you pinch her nipple. hard.

"aa-ah!" sevika squeals. you grin, sevika glares, and silco groans on the other line. "i gotta go silco i'll call you back in twenty minutes." sevika rushes out.

she throws the phone to the end of the couch, not bothering to hang up, and you can hear silco's annoyed response.

"you two have fun. disgusting."

then, the dial tone.

you begin to giggle, only for your laughs to get caught in your throat when sevika flips the two of you over, pinning you to the couch beneath her as she grabs your wrists and pins them above your head.

for a second, she only looks at you. it's like she can't decide if she's angry or horny or just admiring at you. you try your best to appear innocent, batting your eyelashes at her and lifting your hips up so you can brush your pregnant stomach against her washboard abs.

she softens a bit at the touch, and a smile blooms on her face.

"such a fuckin' cumslut you can't even wait for five minutes?"

you gasp, your eyes rolling back in your skull and your cunt clenching at her words. sevika hums, satisfied by your reaction.

"y-y-you're the one who d-did this to me." you whine. sevika's smile only grows.

"you're damn fucking right i did." sevika growls as she beings to fuck you again. you groan, and sevika leans down to kiss your lips.

she pulls away only to gasp, then she dodges your puckered lips to press her lips against your ear. she stumbles on her first word, because her action launched you back to your dream, and you clenched around her cock so hard she whimpered halfway between syllables.

"in-ah-insatiable, aren't you?" she growls. "i should just keep you pregnant all the fuckin' time, huh? all leaky and needy for my cock-- makin' a fuckin fool of yourself just to have me."

"sevika--"

"yeah, baby?"

"i'm gonna fucking cum." you whine. sevika chuckles in your ear.

"i bet you are."

she bites your earlobe, her hips continuing their relentless pace, and you wrap your legs around her waist.

"a-are you?" you whimper.

"fuck, yeah."

"inside me?" you beg. sevika shivers, gives you one solid thrust and a whimper, and you cum. "sevika!" you cry. sevika grunts in response, chasing her own orgasm as you fall apart beneath her. "sevika, sevika-- breed me, cum inside me, fill me up, you fuck me so good, i love you so much, you-- oh!"

sevika sinks her teeth into your shoulder as she cums, growling and shaking on top of you.

the only reason she doesn't collapse is because you're belly's between the two of you. instead, she rolls to the side and tumbles off the bed.

you burst into giggles, turning on your side to smile down at your wife who's grinning up at you as she catches her breath.

"i love you so much." you sigh. sevika hums, reaching up to take your hand in hers. she kisses your knuckles.

"i love you, baby."

"...we should probably send silco flowers or something." you say.

sevika bursts into laughter.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #sevika smut

[bunnychargebolt]

Gosh theyre asleep in call right now and immmm auehwiehwiehwieh. Talking to him is so amazing always. Shes so caring and understanding and gentle with me. I feel safe. Im able to ask for clarification and not worry about it. They know amd understand stuff that ive been through and are just so isnqiheqiheiwhe shes so nice to me about it. He has a real big talent of saying things I need to hear before I even ask for them and it always makes me so fucking happy.

We meld together so well. It feels like we continue to meet each other where its needed and it meshes so fucking well. Being able to give each other the love and affection we’ve been wanting or maybe not even daring to want and receiving anyways. Both having the feeling of “i cant believe Im the person you chose” and its soooo sweet and mushy and beautiful.

Hes so understanding of my fluctuations in sex repulsion and insecurities i have. Being able to be told that shed be here even if I never wanted to do anything sexual again but also being told that i got them so worked up that they have to go get off right now. Feeling attractive and wanted but not used. Im safe saying no. Im comfortable saying no.

Goshhhhh and the way they have a fucking key to my brainnnn😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 He could just look at me amd Id manage to melt right into a puddle Im sure. Shes just- ienwiehiwhe its crazy to me that theyre newer to domming cause hes so fucking good at itttt. So many of our kinks line up amd it just works so fucking good. I feel comfortable telling them if im wanting softer or harder stuff and gods everything we do is just absolutely incredible. The idea of doing stuff with just about anyone else is almost foreign to me and we havent even been talking for that longgggg.

I know that every single part of me is loved. Even the parts I hide from most people. And thats such an amazing feeling. I feel safe. I feel hope. I feel happy. I have genuinely been in tears so many times the past few weeks over just how much they mean to me, or something she said to me, or just- him. I love them. On purpose. So fucking much.

I have never even dreamt of being allowed to feel this way and be loved like this before. You are my beautiful midnight sky. The bright shining moon lighting my way. The comfort of a campfire. The awe of the stars. Visible in the daytime too. Always there. Helping me feel safe. I couldnt be more grateful that the person I get to feel like this with is you. I felt the most safety i can remember feeling in years meeting you. I was able to be myself immediately. My walls down from the beginning.

I like you. And I love you. And Im sooo attracted to you😵‍💫 (<- someone who thought it was asexual) And I cannot fucking wait to get to meet you. To hug you and hold you. Breathe you in and smile with you. To be able to look into your gorgeous eyes. And to fall for you in so many new ways. @seren-eclipsed <3

#☀️ #hai baby #i knowwwww i should be asleep #i prommy ill explain what happened when i wake up #but i wanted to leave this for you to wake up to #and just #hhhhhhhhhhhhh keep thinkin boot things youve said #im going feral #after not doin stuff for a bit the floodgates are open #and there js #definitely a flood #and im #hmfffff woof woof woof woof #and just- wanna snuggle up with youuuu #ararararara #i like you so fucking much #you amaze me every day #and im forever grateful you chose me #andddd im gonna stop typing now so i dknt sob ajdbwihd #gnightttt i love you

[olderthannetfic]

Alright I got kinda a bananas questions for you, but how much time do you think should be divided up between work, hobbies and people. Actually wait more specifically what do you think is a good goal to just sit down and do work, but like actually doing work. Like sitting down for 90 minutes and finishing something not working on said thing for 5 hours then finish it. Over the past couple years I kinda erm, just sorta stopped? My mental health has steadily going to shit and covid fucked that all to hell and I was spending so much time in what was essentially a state of panic(didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s essentially what was happening) that I was too exhausted to do anything and just kind of stopped. I didn’t realize it the time but now that I’m finally getting better Ive noticed how little I was doing and how doing little really negatively effects me. Its become a good marker for me to check that I’ve been actually painting, seeing friends, going for a swim but sometimes it still all goes belly up and I’m trying to figure out what is a good goal.(and whats a good marker for when fucking up) Like a realistic long term goal I can strive for and keep track of. I could real easily just say “go for a swim everyday” but that feels unrealistic. In fact I put exercise in same spot as painting so it would be more like “do hobby for an hour a day” but even that feels like a lot. The thought of that feels exhausting so at least for me it should probs be do hobby thing at least 5 times week. Big goal is to swim 3 times and paint twice or vice a versa. its just hard to do that and then I’ll feel like crap and then notice that I haven’t exercised at all for 8 days and I just don’t move around enough to do that. I’m like a dog or walking house plant that needs to go outside and move around for sunshine and blood flow otherwise I start to physically and mentally feel awful. Its just hard to notice you know? Ugh its annoying because there’s so much shit. Its not just that I need some kinda exercise I also need to do some kinda hobby thing for me and other shit that I like to do. And that isn’t even including the work I need to do. I wasn’t even working before I cannot express enough how much of “doing nothing” I was doing. I’m doing better know with meds and therapy and what not and it is helping but I’ll still get home at 7 and just look at my phone and do some combo of read fanfictin/ play sudoko till I get tired and fall asleep. Then I wake up and shocking, I’m still on bullshit. Sometimes its feels to much to shower (at least with that one I know that I can get away with one at most 2 days with out shower so if I didn’t shower the day before I can mostly just force myself into the shower) that’s what I’m trying to figure out for everything else so I can look at my self force my self to stop looking at phone and paint a shitty flower or something. I was doing pretty good but The other week I house sitter for a friend and was immediately back on bullshit. I barely left her apartment the entire time I was there I’m sure that if I actually went to class, got exercise, painted (I brought all my paints then did fuck all) I would have been able to get more work done. I think Im only actually productive when I’m actually getting up and doing crap. I’m in a contact state of “working” and doing nothing but time is moving forward. I have no idea what this anon is. Ugh whatever I’ll submit it anyway

TL;DR trying to be better at actually do stuff and not doing fuck all. Any idea on what’s a good goal to strive for and what’s a good marker for shits getting fuck go for a walk

--

Social time is going to be extremely variable. I'm an extrovert and thus lots of social time is no problem. I also do okay not seeing people though as long as I'm busy.

Exercise should be prioritized above most other things, much as I hate this. You should be doing something basically every day. I agree that swimming is likely not realistic on that schedule, but maybe a walk around the block? It sucks, but forcing yourself to get off your ass every day will help with the rest of it. Also, exercise that takes you out of the house, even if only briefly, requires that you put on clothes, which is also helpful.

Get off of social media. If you're having trouble managing things, now is the time to take a break from anything that involves doom scrolling and time just disappearing.

(I say from my bed where I'm wearing the dirty sweatshirt I slept in and no pants while answering asks instead of working on my next novel. Hmm...)

It's obviously important to you to prioritize painting, but I see the difficulty there: you have to get set up and clean up afterwards, and you can't leave paints sitting around or they dry out. I'd try to schedule one longer session per week for now. If you have something else like sketching, you can schedule more frequent shorter sessions because that's easier to pick up and put down without a lot of prep/cleanup.

I do find little morning rituals like making tea helpful. They pry me out of bed and add some structure to my day.

[petscrub]

Just realized i havent been on here for a whole week and its p much bc im going thru a really fucking hard time this past week, have sobbed a total of …. 6 times i think ? In the span of maybe two days…. Cant stop thinking about kmsing.. my friend is here w me so im safe but idk if ive ever had such a hard time as i am having now, i feel absolutely no interest or desire in anything and a very heavy pointless/hopeless feeling. Ive even lost my appetite which is rare for me, today i only had cereal, and my sleep has been awful ive been waking up at like 5 am. Anyway. I might be going to a hospital soon lol i am currently away on work so its hard

[the-kipsabian]

So. What I think about you. It’ll take some telling to get there. Might get a bit sappy but here goes nothing.

So I’m a pretty new fan of wrestling, less than a year of proper watching still. It was a bit of a spontaneous thing, a friend made watching another sport would post things, and eventually I decided to take a peek and see what all the fuss was about. And in the end, I really enjoyed what I saw. I could get into that, but it’s not exactly important to where I’m going with this.

I don’t remember exactly when I first saw Kip. It was after his feud with OC, but still close to new years. And I thought, geez this guy is neat. Had no idea what was going on with any of his past work, I just liked the way he moved, I guess. So I thought, let me dig a little deeper into this. Eventually I ended up at your blog, and let me tell you, you were a hell of a resource to this baby fan. I’ve always been a bit nervous about following new people (had some bad experiences in the past I’m not eager to repeat) so I think I sort of lurked a while before I actually hit that follow, probably by accident honestly.

So then was Kip and Penny’s trip to Japan, and this is where I got introduced to Chris Brookes, who I’m not sure I even have words for how fond I am of him now. So I very much attribute that to you, and I’m pretty thankful for the introduction to an absolute bastard giraffe man who I adore.

Eventually I got a bit more settled into my new interest, started posting a bit on tumblr, reblogging gifs and the like. And then, just like how I got into wrestling, another fairly distant mutual joked about being interested in what they were seeing. So we talked a bit, I recommended some of what got me interested, and I think in the end that got me a new friend. In a way, I can wrap that back around to you, too.

I see that you struggle a lot. Sometimes it’s with writing, or art. You still make cool things, and I’m pretty awed by that. I’m looking forward to what you’ll make next. I doodled a rabbit on the back of a shopping list today, for the first time in months. It felt like a little victory. I wonder sometimes if your writing, your art, feels like that too. I’ll still celebrate it as if it is.

I’m not really sure how to end this. I guess I just want to say, we aren’t exactly friends, or at least, I don’t feel I can claim that we are right now. But I do think about you, and root for you. And in myriad little ways, you’ve changed my life. That feels a little strange to write, but it’s not untrue. I suppose no one can really know what impact we have on anyone else. At any rate, I hope you’re doing well, I saw you were sick this week.

-🐓

first of all: CHICKEN ANON YOURE BACK HELLO!! its been a while i hope youre doing well! 💜

legit when i read this first thing in the morning, i fucking cried. just.. theres a lot to unpack here, i try not to ramble but this. something like this is literally why ive been keeping on posting everything i do despite occasionally feeling like theres no point to sharing anything. ive always been telling myself that i first do it for myself, and then share it in case theres someone somewhere down the line that might be looking for this content later

and to hear that there is even one (1) person literally like this out there, using my blog and the content i put out to familiarize themselves with my blorbo, im... like oh my god 💜💜

im really glad it has helped you make friends too 💜 and while i dont know who you are, i would consider us friends no matter what tho, especially after hearing this. so glad things like this have helped you to get more into the community, thats amazing! and to touch up on the art thing, yeah its hard at times to pick things up again after a long while of not doing anything - i literally wrote a drabble last night after not writing anything for a week and i havent even seen my drawing tablet in like two months now lmao - but im so happy to hear about your grocery list rabbit!! little doodles here and there are definitely better than nothing, especially if you enjoy doing them!

youre so precious anon, i hope youre having a good day. im still slightly sick, getting better now thankfully so i should be fully operational the next few days and oooooh when that happens its all over you fuckers when i get back to writing (this is affectionate i swear LMAO)

thank you, i love you 💜

#also. when you say you liked the way he moved. same brain cause i remember that was literally the same thing i was originally drawn to #about him. it was back in the superbad days when it was even more.. slutty i should say lmao but still #thank you for this. i will treasure it forever #anonymous #thank you for asking! <3 #xoxo

[crispy-chan]

omg dude, i remember literally crying over your work “a story rewritten” when i first read it about a year ago because isekai stories are top tier mygod 👌👌👌 and your story is literally the first and only fic i found that goes under that genre. so i definitely made up my mind to take the time to find that webtoon you were talking about in your note.

anyways, i legit just finished chapter one of this newly encountered manhwa i am reading and holy god, all the emotions are coming back all of the sudden. when the male lead here turned into a zombie, i just knew i found what ive been looking for for over a year (even if i forgot about it after giving up after a week of searching lol). o m g, i need to read “a story rewritten” again just to emote about it.

idk why in the world i rambled so much but if you still haven’t remembered yet interested in its title, it s called “surviving romance” in webtoon.

since this is already such a long ask, ill just say whatever is remaining in my mind. i often recall “a story rewritten” in the most random times, usually in class because i get sleepy so much. so every once in a while, id come back to read it again. nothing beats the first reading though. i remember being overwhelmed and so emotional LMAO.

it kinda became a comfort fic and legit the sole reason why i would come back to tumblr every now and then. took a break from reading fics in general since december to continue my manga/manhwa spree. but your work makes me feel nostalgic so much, UHM IDK WHY THOUGH,,,,

i just love it so much omg lol. you probably dont remember but i believe ive also told you this in the past (i made an ask, dont recall what i wrote though LOL) you dont have to look for it, i just want to let you know how much of an impact your writing gives to me.

as a closing ehem, you might not know me but it s a fact that your stories never fail to make me happy. another fun fact, you were actually the one who introduced me to fic reading in tumblr!! LOL your “astronaut, ksm” and its sequel “serendipitous” was what got me reading here in this platform. you were the first fic writer i came across here and thought that “oh, are there more writers like jas that makes stories this good?” thats why for a good year, i came to appreciate and enjoy a lot of writes and of course, a lot more stories here in tumblr.

once i fully come back to tumblr, i would definitely catch up with your stories that ive missed for the half year. good luck and keep safe! you re doing a great job :>>

Hello, Anon. yes, i capitalized anon bcs i am truly at a loss of words rn. what hurts the most is the fact that you won't my see my reply to this ask bcs I took so fucking long to open my inbox.

i am an a-grade asshole. now that this is out of the way...

firstly, the fact that you cried over my stories :((( this always simultaneously makes me sad and warms my heart bcs I want to make people feel something while reading my stories and my fave fics are the ones I cried over...

i'm always surprised af to see how much love "a story untold" gets. it's pretty short and rather old but it seems to be some sort of hidden favorite amongst my fics lol. I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much <3 I teased a sequel but never got around to it lmao.

haha i can't believe you actually found the webtoon!! my acc reset so I never actually returned to it lmao. also had to refresh my memory and google isekai bcs it's been a few years since my weeb phase lol. now that you mention it, there really aren't that many isekai-esque skz fics, are there 🧐

also, this is so sweet :((( i'm honored. it's really nice to hear that someone remembers the fic and even thinks about it, I'm genuinely flattered. I'm so happy that it managed to make such an impact on you <333

akjsksjasj truly honored to know that you like to come back to my fics. i also awwed when you said that my stuff makes you nostalgic :(( like that's literally such a massive compliment and it makes me really happy!!

i'm also touched to know that my fics managed to impact you so much <3 truly, reading this ask was such a pleasure :(

i also can't believe that i was the person who introduced you to tumblr. that's really cool akjsksjsk and I'm surprised to hear that it was astronaut. ngl, that was one of my first ever fic ideas and I was really proud of it back then. the only thing i'd change now is that i'd make it a lot longer, which is why I've wanted to write a prequel (but probably never will lol)...

i'm so glad that you enjoyed my stories and were able to discover many more amazing people on this platform!! thank you so much <33

i truly hope you come back some day since I selfishly wish you could see my response <3 on the off chance that you do, please accept my warmest hugs.

feel free to reach out any time <3 much love :)))

#mail 💌 #anon ☁️ #feedback 📮 #🗒: a story rewritten #thank you so much anon #from the bottom of my heart #this was so sweet #<3

[ramu-ego]

AHHH JEEZ A 2 DAYS LATE REPLY MY BAD, i def wouldve responded sooner but i suddenly got busy, missed camping in this little blog here 💔😭 (yes 2 days is a lot in my book LMAO)

when i saw sir nighteye, i looked at ego and i was like. Yea. Yea that’s a type alright LMFAOO.. IVE MEVER SEEN THE REST EXCEPT DAZAI BUT MAYBE THATS SIGN FOR ME TO OPEN MY TASTES A BIT MORE..

100% agree on the ego paragraph!!..!.!?! EVEN IF I WASNT THE BIGGEST FAN ITS SOO OBVS HE CARES.. one day imma see an ego appreciation paragraph analysis explaining every single detail abt what he did and i wouldnt be surprised if that post is from you LMFAO

god i’ve never heard nikko’s eng voice but i’m def not looking forward to it — i read the nikko post though, GOODD LOORDDD may of changed my perspective of nikko on ruining him but still, gotta stay loyal to my favs (a lie, i’m a whore and would jump around but niko just aint it for me LMFAO)

god yea, my timezones been like .. the direct opposite of most people so i wasn’t surprised to see ours be different, JUST CRAZY HOW KUCH OF A DIFFERENCE IT ACTUALLY WAS .. fuckk guess we can twin in being last to almost everything then huh? the only win i get is just having an asian timezone to be early to actual content LMFAO

i respect liking dubs!!!! i used to watch dubs for like, romance anime? toradora and shit when i was WAYYY younger!! HONESTLY I SEARCHED UP ALL UR RECS AND III THINKKK i may start with mob psycho first since it peaks my interests the most! but i’ll def check fire force since it’s one of ur favs, i’ll tell you what i think abt it when i actually DO start it (chronic procrastinator, i even procrastinated writing this message despite how much i wanted to chat LOL)

I HAVE REALLY BAD MEMORY SO IVE GOT NO IDEA WHICH GUY I WAS REFERRING TO.. curly hair??? black hair??? looked kinda dead inside??? I THINK IT MIGHTVE BEEN W GAGAMARU AND RAICHI.. his hair looked kinda like it hadn’t been washed in weeks ngl

IM HAPPY TO READ YOUR RESPONSES HONESTLY, SUPEPRRR FUN and it feels like im having a genuine one on one convo even if we are like — replying to it like letters or sum LMFAO, guess we going back to the past era for this! BEINNG A HAIRDRESSER FOR 5 YEARS IS SOO COOL?? you’re only 25 now so like — did you pick this job up early on??

i’ve never watched haikyuu but i could see a lot of people felt differently abt blue lock compared to haikyuu, blue lock kinda increases that competitive spirit that’s rare to find in that. team work stuff?

since i felt as if my replies were kinda ass this time, i got news! just watched blue lock episode 11 and good fucking lord this shit was good — yea i was worried about bad animation but shit POPPED OFF.. and rin itoshi :?/!.?.!?! i screamed creamed probably was thinkign with only my metaphorical dick from that point on because good lord i want this man HELP.. it’s been like a year or two(?) since i first saw rin itoshi in the manga but good lord when i saw him animated and even spoke, i felt sum ROARING DOWN THERE … (excuse my language i only think with my lower region!) this awakened sum in mme.. don’t be surprised once i start sending genuine requests and thirsts

since i even joked about this being like a literal letter, maybe i should start signing off like one!!!

from 💌 anon or something LMFAO

NO NO TWO DAYS IS NOTHING I CAN BE AWFUL AT RESPONDING-

-I am so bad at like focusing to respond so trust me no apology needed bc I'm chronically bad at looking at a message and then giving myself anxiety over it. It's something I'm working on 😂😭

Dazai is mildly the odd man out except for the dude with black 'n white hair they're kinda con losers together but I'd say the over arching theme is "they look like they bite...but not really" I have no sense of danger I want the weird looking men no one wants 😂 but no seriously all the fandoms they're from are really good highly recommend Dr Stone and Fire Force if you enjoy Blue Lock. They are *chefs kiss*

do you know how hard it is to keep my twitching fingers on my keyboard to not rant about Ego??? I could do it I could go on and on about this man but- asdfghjkl- I'm controlling myself! mostly bc i don't wanna share my weird husband shhh that's not the point shhh he's my ugly little greenbean

i blame my friend on the niko bullshit!! she went on about how perfectly he'd fit that pervy hentai protagonist who like- steals panties- and cries when he gets caught and all that bullshit?? now I can't unsee it?? he's so stealing panties and putting under his pillow to sleep with only to make up a loud sob story when he gets caught. He's a perv and now I can't unsee it and I hate it 😩

really you have the problem of conflicting timezones?? I'm genuinely surprised bc like- everyone I talk to is like bare minimum in Europe and further over as I sit my lonely self in the United States. Count your blessings bc at least you don't live in the States we're awful 😂 we can be opposite timezone buddies like long drawn out lovers from two forlorn families writing drawn out poetic letters to each other to be sent by snail mail as we try to survive the black plague! or you know...something like pen pals 😂

my peanut brain suffers with subbed I can't look at the animation and take in what they're saying T^T I did it with Jujutsu Kaisen when it came out and can honestly say I don't recall anything I watched bc I was reading subs. RIP this is why I have to read the mangas </3 Oh but Mob is so good!!! It's one of my favorites and my comfort animes I can't tell you how many times I've watched it?? I think like- seven times? Eight times? Easing your way into the list makes Mob Psycho a good starter. But no seriously I cannot stress it enough how much I love Fire Force. Plus cursed knowledge, English dubbed Ego is Fire Forces main character and he is a cinnamon roll of a good boy and a total 180 of Ego's character 😂 Equal parts blessed and cursed when you hear Ego being a good boy

a lot of them look dead inside but dying so hard at gagamaru being put in the dead eye category?? my wife is in love with him so now I'm dying over the dead eye thing 😂 tbh they're so many characters I still have to look back and know who's who

you will find out I can't keep my mouth shut so if you get me talking I will put in that much effort 😂 But actually sweet I'm not 25 I'm 27 (had to double check with my wife I lost track) So the five years of hairdressing isn't too out there but I did pick it up after two yrs of college when I dropped out bc US education system suuuucks. Love hair but covid made people entitled shitheads and didn't want to spend nine hours a day with jackasses to come home to a baby so I just swapped entitled costumers to an entitled baby XD

haikyuu is...cute. like- ok i dont really do slice of life animes and heavily dont do sports anime (haikyuu and blue lock are literally the only ones) but Haikyuu is definitely not the same as Blue Lock. They spend a lot of time explaining how the game works where as Blue Lock its kinda "you know how soccer works or sucks to be you" which I like bc the one thing I do get tired with haikyuu is the over explanation of things. It's a cute show though! I could only watch it once thru but its fun when you haven't watched it before

UGH IM SO WORRIED OVER WHO IS GONNA PLAY RIN I'VE BEEN CHEWING MY NAILS OVER IT- Their casting director has been so good so?? Like?? I know it'll be good but at the same time?? I'm still so worried?? I mean- They convinced me to love Ego even after knowing who his VA was (and what I watched him previously in was NOT anything like his Ego role) but still- Rin's my baby?? Rin's my little bratty temper tantrum baby i wanna smoosh?? He has to be perfect?? More so than anyone else?? Pleading with the casting gods Rin sounds good or I will sob 😭 And I'm like- Have no idea are they doing 12 episode season or a 24 episode season. I need answers T^T

pls send me Rin thirsts I can't shut the fuck up about him

#i adore rin and will always talk about subby baby rin #i need to know who his va will be im dying over here DX #:: thanks for the ask~! ✩ #:: 💌.anon~! ☆

[srlkiller]

Have you ever thought that maybe ur more sick than u think and maybe it’s actually u that’s the issue… might be something to think about

OK SO i hav a million asks in my inbox but this 1 is so beyond ignorant & passive aggressive for quite literally no reason bc why are u so invested in my life for…? lmao.

have u ever thought that maybe u don’t actually know me or anything that’s going on in my real life.. whether it is the shit that i am currently going through (which is numerous forms of abuse by my parents) or all of the things that have happened in my past.. im talking about in REAL LIFE. bc this is the internet.. a literal blog site where i randomly type things whenever im either really heated or bored as shit. n that’s rare now. this year n probably last year too i posted rants like.. give or take, every like… 3-6 months (if that). so u either got this whole image, ideology & ‘persona’ of me from a blog site.. or the very very few sporadic Insta stories i post which are mainly songs i like, memes or funny vids reposted? lmao.. i don’t post on my own Insta anymore. i literally only use youtube or zeus network now & i actually hav a private tumblr that only i can see. this 1 doesn’t get used, u must hav missed wen i posted about that :(( anyone who knows me/has known me irl.. or has been following me for a while knows that im a very open person.. & ive been open for YEARS on this dumb ass blog (which clearly ur privy too… bc u read my posts n lurk my page lmao 🫠)the whole “have u ever thought that ur ‘more sick than u think” is such an ignorant fucking statement. like.. i know exactly what is ‘wrong’ w me & im actually perfectly fine as long as i do not get triggered by certain people in my environment (which is the issue at hand among others with that same individual & other family). as ive aged & gone through so much these past 5/6 years i have grown & evolved so much as a person that whatever ‘persona’ you seem to have of me being ‘sick’ doesn’t exist today… unless you’re referring to my physical health issues? then yes ive been sick these past 2 weeks & do get ‘physically sick’ quite often due to my chronic severe physical health conditions.

ive been more than transparent (probably too transparent tbh) on here as well as my Instagram for many many years about my mental health issues + physical health issues. all of my conditions/disorders are chronic conditions that i have to live & deal w for the rest of my life.. so things like 4eva tryna find the right treatments for EVERY condition, spending thousands on operations, doctors, specialists, hospitals, medications that don’t work or give you awful side effects, meds that do work but cost hundreds, meds that are addicting with no warning from the doctors ect ect but the biggest thing of all is simply just tryna function each day like a normal human being whilst being in a very toxic environment with zero support, love or care from those who are supposed to nurture & protect you. so yeah sometimes i do get fucking angry, frustrated n upset about that shit n just wanna rant on here about my feelings. there are certain things i share on here wen i hav no one else 2talk too.. im an only child & hav gone thru sm shit with past ‘friends’ & exs in such a short amount of time i could truly write a whole book or movie script on it all. but instead i write things on here. it made me go absolutely crazy then turn into a total paranoid recluse. it was a soul destroying experience but one of the most powerful life lessons to be able to learn. it made me who i am today n changed me completely.

BUT- n real life tho.. you really do not know my situation.. you do not know me.. & you do not know what i deal with on a daily fucking basis. id love to see u try n live even jus a day as me irl...u would 100% neck urself before the day was even over. im not stupid.. i research everything when it comes to my conditions & diagnosis’s. i also studied psychology & did a major in forensic psychology while doing a bachelor of law & justice. ive studied the DSM-5, done every kind of therapy & treatment plan you can imagine. ive been in treatment since i was like 11/12. i understand myself very well. the mental health conditions that i have are a direct result of childhood trauma & several kinds of abuse by my parents from childhood all the way up to now.. if u are that interested in me & my life then perhaps u should google all of those conditions & do some research on them to gain a better understanding of the hows, why’s & whats. that’s called knowledge baby, u should gain some🖤 & perhaps u should consider going straight to the actual source… whatever it is u wanna know, just ask me.

what’s super interesting is that i took my tumblr link off my Insta a long time ago so it’s like bro.. did you just memorise my tumblr name so u can keep coming back to the page to lurk then send me a sassy little message to jab at me every couple months …. orrrr do you follow me but ur really that pussy that you put ur shit on anonymous? tbh both options are pitiful & just scream.. U A BITCH. people like you are all bark.. n no bite. it’s giving stalkerish fan vibes… this has been going on for like over a year now.. maybe even longer, idek. why not come off ANONYMOUS tho? why not just dm me if u feel so strongly about the issue n are so invested in this shitshow? u seem to hav a lot to say to me n id LUV to hear it! u got some suggestions for me? u got the answers? suggestions for self help books? shiiiiid… we could even talk on the phone if u want? u got FaceTime on yo fone?

if u don’t hav my Insta I’d b happy to giv it to you.. jus send me some asks on anonymous u know how to do that. looking forward to hearing back from u & getting to know u better! hope i quenched ur thirst xxx

[bipolar-type-2-confessions]

a friend of mine who is also ND (but not bipolar) kept interjecting with "oh waw yes i relate" when i was trying to explain my lows and just..... i’m so sick of nonbipolar people telling me ah yeah same exactly the same i relate so much!!! when i try to explain my lows and how debilitating they are. fucking hell. it’s extreme, it’s the fucking point of bipolarity. extremes. i’m at work and suddenly can’t function because i get irrationally paranoid. without a single fucking warning im agoraphobic all over again. i was ok-ish a minute ago. i get vivid flashbacks of all the awful shits ive ever been through. i go from bawling my eyes out to utter, cold emptiness in seconds. i scare myself when i look in a mirror. i don’t see anything in my eyes. i take a bunch of pills to exhaust my body even more because i can’t stop thinking about killing myself. every damn time i spiral out and am on the verge of going to the psych ER. i had to take two sick leaves in the past month already. and i can’t tell my job, because i have zero security. they could find any excuse to fire me, because i’m not as reliable as my coworkers. i’m not as efficient either, because my meds have pretty consequent side effects. like. it’s not a phase, it’s not a rough patch i go through due to some external factors and shitty interactions i had this week. that's my day-to-day brain. i’m gonna spend the rest of my life dealing with it. taking meds to counter as many relapses as possible.

my standard, the closest i get from euthymia, is feeling nothing. there’s just nothing inside. i'm? fucking hell. i'm so sick of it. sorry it sounds so bad and childish, i know we're not the only ones dealing with this stuff, but i'm so pissed off? on top of that yesterday i had to read hundreds of people say loud and clear that it's totally okay to send us to jail when an episode gets out of hands, like it doesn't fucking require medical care and means we need urgent help. i'm so exhausted. it's exhausting to see how little other people listen to us.

You don’t sound bad or childish at all. Your experiences and anger are extremely valid and I’m so so sorry you have to deal with the things you do.

Also, the horrible things you hear people say about us and any other ND people who are considered ‘inconvenient’ to society is something I’ve also heard over and over and it’s terrifying. It IS exhausting. I personally can’t even stay in the same room as people who imply those sort of things. I can’t even begin to imagine how exhausted you must personally feel over it yourself.

I know people think they’re being ‘comforting’ when they say they’ve experienced the same thing but it can actually feel so demoralizing. I have a sister with bpd and she does the same thing and it can feel so condescending. Especially since she’s even explicitly said that her condition is ‘worse’ because bpd is a personality disorder and bipolar II is ‘just’ a mood disorder. But everyone’s experience is unique to theirs.

You’re not alone and your experiences are so very very very valid regardless of what people say.

#bipolar type 2 #bipolar type 2 disorder #bipolar confessions #asks #anon

[junosartsthetic]

long rant ahead containing talk of disability, anxiety, suicidal ideation, depression, medication, therapy, family issues, and weight/food. I just need to get my thoughts out somewhere and i dont have any rl friends to talk to so im throwing my problems onto yall. Apologies. Please do not think you have to read this or force yourself if you are uncomfortable. Ill probably delete later anyway. I just need to get all of my thoughts on the table in one place. 

Alright so I have a disorder called POTS, right? basically long story short my blood pressure gets all wack and causes a variety of symptoms. Now, these symptoms can come and go pretty quickly or linger for weeks or months at a time. But of course lately I’ve been feeling like shit almost every day and I hurt all the time and my body aches and head aches and its all in all just a not fun situation. Well, thats not the only shit on my list. Not only am i constantly lightheaded, dizzy, and super brain fogged all the time, but im 99% sure my anxiety meds are not working anymore. Ive been on them for a few years now and they have helped a lot but it seems like theyre not doing anything anymore. I have also been dealing with a lot of new stressors from work to school to my physical health and its also not helping my anxiety. So maybe thats why i feel like they’re not working but im not sure. of course, my depression is also kicking in because its turning winter and that means cold and dark and basically not good for my mental state. I also am on a bunch of meds on the moment to take care of different things i have so maybe the meds are interacting with each other. also, my weight and food intake have been all over the fucking place lately because these new meds im taking for my stomach issues. and now im hungry all the time but also feel sick because my heart burn is always flaring up and half the time i vomit up what i eat because of how bad it is. its just a whole mess honestly and if i seem off this is why. im trying to make appointments with my doctors to get myself better but its hard trying to work around my schedule at the moment. hopefully i get better and get past this current state im in but honestly im struggling. My grades arent the best at the moment and im also falling into the habit of sleeping way too much and staying in bed all day which is terrible for my POTS but also i cant help it because I feel like shit all the time. its just a cycle rn and i really really want to get out of it so bad. honestly i think i have bipolar depression instead of generalized depression because of the mood swings ive been having lately. it could also be med stuff or something im honestly not sure. a part of me wants to completely stop taking all of my meds to reset my body but obviously what would be terrible but also im at the point where i feel just awful all the time and want to feel better and not have all this shit wrong with me. im only 19 and yet i feel like im 90 with all of the issues i have. i cant do any of the things i want to do because i either feel too dizzy to do them or too depressed. and ive tried therapy but that didn’t help in the slightest, and in fact made it worse because she was a shit therapist, but i know people have said it helps for them but im too scared from that last experience. and i really dont have anybody to talk to about this because my family is understanding but not really supportive in the way that i need, nor do they listen when i voice my concerns. and my s/o is away in college and we dont talk much anymore. and i didnt stay in contact with any of my high school friends nor do i really have anyone in college because im too introverted to talk to anyone so i really just feel abandoned and alone at the moment. and it sucks. and ive resorted to pushing my problems on the internet in a selfish attempt to, idk. get sympathy? maybe magically get cured from my issues with words? i honestly dont know. i just dont really know what else to do at the moment. i feel trapped in my own body. and it sucks. and i dont want anyone to take this like im suicidal because im not. i was at one point but thats not what i want for myself now. I have pets to take care of. and lord knows my family wouldnt care about my reptiles if i wasnt here to take care of them. im just stuck in a rut. thats all. and i dont really know what to do about it. so long story short im hanging in there and tumblr is one of the few places i honestly get happiness from. so thank yall for being here because i appreciate it. but if i dont post often or spam or basically do anything thats out of the ordinary its because im trying to work through shit atm. so yeah. that’s about it.  

:)

#rant #vent #venting #ranting #about me #life stuff #stuff #anxiety #depression #disabilities #medication

[olderthannetfic]

re: tone tags talk on here.

I have a rant thats been stewing awhile on the subject.

I would be really really careful using these for people and touting them as The Best Way to interact online and The Most Accessible for a few reasons:

People who are not in the know can become more confused, especially with the lesser-known or less obvious ones. It is forcing others to learn an entire new dialect, one they may not have the spoons or memory to use or understand properly. It can cause neurodivergent people MORE stress to have to use them.

Many neurodivergent people (such as myself) find them INCREDIBLY condescending when used on us for fairly obvious things (ex- I like your shirt! /gen looks like 'I think you are such a -insert slur- that you cant understand a statement where the default literal reading is fairly unambiguous, poor little baby cant handle it! Im such a disabled ally!'). This is less so with the original two tone tags /s and /j, but most tone tags have this problem.

Many neurodivergent people (also such as myself) find them to look suspicious like a bottle labeled 'THIS IS NOT POISON' being poured into our drink. It looks like a suspiciously specific denial and messes with paranoia. It also implies any time you say 'your shirt looks cool' without 5 tone tags proclaiming its base meaning of positive, genuine, and serious that when you usually make a statement like that it ISNT those things.

They are NOT screenreader friendly. At all.

People lie with them a lot, and some people have trauma regarding certain circles online using them to fuck with people. Literally just last week I found someone doing the /gen /srs thing with a question whos last post was to a cringe subreddit for the topic. They also view them as get out of jail free cards or ways to get people to farm 'cringe content'. Some of us arent going to trust that at all with VERY GOOD REASON and now the tag is useless.

Many tags have non-obvious meanings, /pos doesnt look like 'positive' it looks like 'piece of shit'.

ASL speakers are going to have a rough time learning tone tags because its more weird english slang no one explains.

Every time anyone criticizes tone tags (or even says so much as 'please dont use them for me its a trigger'), tone tag likers fly off the fucking handle(in my experience) and accuse you of being horrible and evil for not loving them to death, causing them to be associated with performative accommodations that dont do shit and people getting mad when you call them on it for some of us. Im not hyperactive in many spaces that use them and ive witnessed like 5 breakdowns in the past year alone of someone saying 'hey can you not use these for me please?' and the other person loosing it that the ungrateful disabled person wasnt bowing in awe over their wokeness for using them or whatever. Just complete all caps aggressive HOW DARE YOU and WHY CANT I DO ANYTHING RIGHT IM TRYING TO BE AN ALLY reassurement fishing and defensive 'I cant be ableist deliberately using tone tags on someone triggered by them, im doing the woke thing tiktok said so you are wrong' stuff.

What would be better to be done instead, in order of best to worse is;

Rephrase the statement/question to have the tone stated in there if the statement is not ruined by doing so. Unless you are working with a wordcount, this is accessible to the most amount of people because you dont need to learn a secret code and its fairly unambiguious and the least condescending and trap-like looking.

'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? /gen' -> 'Genuine question, why do you have text describing images all over your blog?'

'Your artwork emotionally disembowels me /pos' -> 'Your artwork, and I mean this in the most positive of ways, emotionally disembowels me'

State the tone/meaning in FULL in parenthesis at the end. This makes it clearer what the tag is supposed to indicate to more people, it may still cause confusion however, trigger paranoia, or look condescending. Its more screenreader friendly, but less so than the above option. This works also for things that ruin the thing to interrupt the flow.

'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? /gen' -> 'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? (genuine question)'

'Because you are totally an anti /s', 'because you are totally an anti (sarcasm)'

Ask or look for indications that this person requires tonetags or uses them BEFORE using them and then respecting that choice. Has all the stated above issues, but at least consent for participating in this dialect was obtained. Checking if they need /pos, /srs, AND /gen tagged on on simple statement of 'your shirt looks cool' is very good.

Counterarguments:

'Im working on a short charactercount'

Not on every platform you arent! I concede this one on twitter, where you can barely fit a statement in there sometimes and you may not be able to threadtweet reasonably. But in spaces like tumblr where you have no charactercount? On discord where charactercount is so high and its a chatspace so you can just double message?

Also the 'ask before you use' or 'state in your hoverbio you use' is best practice.

Also also try emojis, which I didnt list previously but with some tones can make it more clear with only a few characters.

'It helps ME THE poster's anxiety/ADHD/etc to do this, I NEED to write like this, you are being ableist to stop me.'

Other options ALSO get the thing across for you! If rewording things to be clearest to everyone is way too hard for you, the FULL word in parenthesis is next best.

'I have a disability that makes typing hurt so I need to type as little as possible'

The third option is still available to you, but make sure to be clear that its not for the readers benefit you are doing this, but for you. This way people who need to avoid this can block you/not interact. Lean full chatspeak to help further (&, b4, 2, w/o, etc shortenings).

Also try emojis as above.

Competing access needs is a bitch, and that means we need to coexist, but (general)YOUR access need doesnt trump mine, so dont feel entitled to interacting with people who request no tone tag interaction. We just have to avoid each other.

For people who dont have the above problems just... PLEASE use plain text. Please. Its way more accessible to the most amount of people.

--

Yeah, for real.

[accountnumber69]

idk

guess im having my second quarter life crisis lol. i dont even know what to call it anymore. just a lack of motivation for anything. work and school don't excite me anymore. i have a psych appt for the 10th to see if i can get some help with how ive been feeling. even if its just prozac. dont care. need help feeling normal again. its been a long time since i reached out. 2016 was the last time. i cut myself because my (now ex) bf wanted to dump me. so fucking stupid i know. especially for someone as old as i am. and he called a wellness check on me and they took me overnight to the hospital. so embarrassing. so fucking embarrassing. i feel like thats all ive been for a long time so i started college last year in order to change all of that. just want to feel equal to people that are my age and have their shit together and kids and shit. okay maybe i dont know if i want kids yet but like at least a house would be cool or something. i let a lot of my past catch up to me and hurt me in my present. i know i have ptsd. they told me in 2016 when i went for outpatient care. i experienced some pretty raw trauma throughout my childhood and into my late teens. the lady was really nice and comforting and what she said made a lot of sense to me. so i dont know if thats been whats bothering me lately. maybe it is. ive just had no motivation to do anything. especially this week. its been so gloomy and gray outside, why would i want to go and do anything? but i feel like these are just excuses. i am perfectly capable of getting up and going to work. but i just havent. part of the reason is that the time off is available for me to take. the other part of the reason is because i lack self-control pretty badly. i see the notification that the time off is available and i gotta take it. i ask my fiance if i can and he just says "i just want you to be happy baby". i treasure him for that, but sometimes i feel like it would be nice to have someone hold me accountable. i fear telling him this, however, because i don't want anyone to take anything to any extremes. i dont want to be controlled in any way, i just want someone to be that voice of reason when i cant be. when i say, "baby? i want to take time off today since it is available." i sometimes wish he wouldnt make it so easy for me i guess. maybe mention my credit card debt and stuff instead. he doesnt do that because he loves me a lot and doesnt want to feel like hes hurting me by saying anything negative. i get that, i really do. so lately ive been trying to figure out ways to hold myself accountable for completing tasks and doing everything i need to do to stay ahead in work and school, but its been sooooo difficult! i dont know how or why! i dont know where to start. everything is just such a mess right now. i feel like im putting unnecessary burden on my fiance because i just cant get my head right! i have a list of tasks to do and i just get overwhelmed and end up doing literally nothing some days. its awful. i have all of this potential. i was the gifted kid in school when i applied myself. now im in college and fucking LIMPING along i feel. even though i just got selected for the honor society and i have received acclaim for some of my assignments, i know i can do better, but i just dont have it in me anymore. i wish i had that passion back in my life. or something. some guidance on how i can feel normal again. anything. this is one of my starting points. they say to write about how you feel in a journal or whatever. i dont like wasting paper in a real journal because lord knows i cant stick to a routine to save my life so i just went the digital route. thats another thing. people my age are so set in their routines. get up at 5 am. get ready for work. have breakfast. go to work. come home. have dinner. repeat. how the fuck do people do this everyday...? i go out of my mind when my day is the same for a week or more. and im in business school! how the fuck am i ever going to fit into a corporate mold?! i yearn for this sense of normalcy that my peers enjoy on a daily basis.

i feel like im drowning. i have awful dreams some nights that keep me awake. i cant eat fucking gluten, beans, onions, garlic, peaches, and so much more so ive had to find comfort in something other than food. sure! that sounds great and good. but im *usually* a fairly active person when im working so i dont mind finding comfort in food. im able to maintain my weight just fine. but now...eating something that doesnt agree with me ravages me inside and out. if i eat gluten i am lethargic and have digestive issues for DAYS. i am depressed as fuck about this. i fucking love food. i fucking love to cook. i love to taste the food i am cooking for other people. and now a lot of that has been erased. and im grieving. about the person i was before. the person my fiance met. i sometimes wish i could be that person again. i know he didnt sign up for all of these stupid issues i bring to the table. my depression and whatever attention deficit i may be experiencing is absolutely crippling me at the moment. i could sit and scroll on my phone all day and not move and be fine. what the fuck is wrong with me?!!?!

i reached out to my best friend for help and shes a true friend and a gem for real. i love her dearly. she wants to help with establishing a routine. she asked me, what are some things that you need to do everyday? or just some things that are important for you everyday.

shower

smoke (i have a medicinal marijuana card)

school/work (its hard to do both in one day. im only human)

chores on days that i dont work

work out on days that i dont work (my job is physically taxing)

cooking/preparing food

prepare for bed

get 8 hours of sleep

care for my pets

care for my fiance

i guess if i focus on these things i cant really lose right? i cant wait to see a mh professional for the first time in SIX YEARS!!! and the last time, i declined to be on any sort of pharmaceutical medication and just wanted talk therapy so i only spoke to a clinician. she was great, but i want to be the best me i can be. i think being on meds will help me a lot with my anxiety and overstimulation in general. i know it wont be a cure all and there will still be so much work for me to do. once i find out why i feel like my brain is fucking broken all the time, i think thats when the real work will begin. i always had an inkling that i was mentally ill. when i was younger, my mom worked as a mh professional and made guesses (very unethical and hurtful in my opinion) about what was wrong with me when i was about 11 or 12. she said that she thought i had borderline back then, but i dont necessarily feel like the symptoms of that line up with what ive been experiencing. when i was about 13, my older sister tried to commit suicide so my mother felt it was best to see a peer of hers that was a psychiatrist. he gave me cymbalta and i didnt like how it made me feel so i stopped taking it. then he tried with another pill. i forget which one that one was but it made me feel so zombified! i felt like i couldnt laugh or cry or even really crack a smile. so i stopped taking that as well and i have been self-medicating basically the whole time with marijuana (now medical grade cannabis since i have my card). now im in my early thirties. sure it helps. it definitely helps with my appetite and insomnia. i guess i just wish i knew what was wrong with me. i wish i could feel normal like so many people out there do.

my fiance and i have had our issues but we have been together for five years now and engaged for two. we fought...oh idk..maybe two or three weeks ago now. ive just been feeling lately like im not as resilient anymore even though we both said we were sorry and patched things up. weve fought so much over the past five years, not only with each other but just in general, have had to fight our landlords, have had to fight to survive, etc. i love him but boy am i just burnt out from it. could be part of my problem lately. im trying so hard to look on the bright side. i know we can make it together. i want that so badly. not to say im innocent in it. im not. ive had my hand in saying nasty things to him that i regret. like i said. its been tough.