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#and kurosawa from the looks of it is being his amazing self

charlidos · 3 years

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I want to apologise for this post upfront; first because it has Machida/Akaso content (I’m not saying anything, I’m just intrigued). And secondly because if you haven’t seen their Magic Hour it won’t make sense (I so wish they’d make it available with subs - I’d pay again for that!). Also, sorry for being too wordy... (I really need an old-fashioned blog with room for lots and lots of words and discussions!)

But here goes: I want to talk about three things (+bonus) that happened in the live which I find particularly intriguing.

1. When they are asked if they’re like their characters, Akaso does this thing where he starts answering, saying (I paraphrase) “We’re not very alike. Right?” And he turns to direct his answer and question to Machida, who answers with an amused (and rather sceptical but indulgent) “Mmmm.” And after a pause, “But you’ve become more and more like him, right?” (not sure about the tempus here, if it’s “you became” or “you’ve become”). And everybody laughs.

So what is the deal here? Why is Akaso asking Machida if he’s like Adachi? Does Machida know that best? Wouldn’t Akaso himself know better? And Machida doesn’t seem to agree, either. He’s basically saying, well, aren’t you really? Making me wonder in what respect they’re talking about. Did Akaso become more and more like Adachi in the way he felt about Kurosawa/Machida? It’s just quite intriguing to me, this exchange.

2. When they’re asked what kind of flowers they like, Machida first just repeats the word “suki” (like) in a way which I find quite odd. He rather calmly, but very forcefully just says "suki!” while looking straight at Akaso (I think). He might have intenteded it as a question, as in “you mean what flower I like?”, but that is not at all how it sounds. There’s no question mark in how he says it. It’s like he just wanted to say “suki!” at Akaso or something. It’s very intriguing. And it just sounds more odd the more I watch it. I feel it’s quite telling to watch Akaso’s reaction too; because as Machida is saying “suki!” he starts smiling, rather amused and maybe a little taken aback. Like, what are you saying? And on the inside “aww!”. Hahaha.

3. (See gif!) After they both were electrocuted by that pen, and Machida is over his painful experience (and Akaso is still wiping his eyes from laughing), he weirdly starts talking about how amazing Akaso’s reaction to the buzz was and how much he likes the way Akaso moves. I have no idea how his brain works here, why does he all of a sudden feel it’s so important to talk about the amazing movements of Akaso before (and what’s so amazing about it? I don’t get it. Haha). I’m guessing he just found them cute. But anyway, my favourite bit is while Machida is gushing over Akaso’s moves, he imitates how Akaso was moving his shoulder. And Akaso is watching (and still wiping his eyes) and does the same movement again, imitating Machida’s imitation. The look on Akaso’s face, and his little shoulder roll, I don’t think he’s even aware he’s doing it. I’m not sure, but I have a feeling that his tears from laughing did turn into tears from being moved. He’s such a darling, sensitive soul.

Bonus: Akaso said he wants to do an action movie with Machida, where Machida is the boss who shoots and kills Akaso in the end. Machida warms to the idea and seem to envision them travel around the world, chasing each other. Akaso’s idea is a little off-beat... (he says himself he is a bit weird. haha). But when Machida talks about travelling the world together, well, it makes sense, eh? (Please universe, let these two act together again! I don’t need more Cherry Magic as long as I can see them working together.)

This really was a lovely, well-executed live show. Well worth the money spent! They’re having a Blu-Ray event too, it seems, no details yet. But the people who can watch are only those who have bought and received their Blu-Ray discs. And while I gave in and ordered one (I feel like I want to pay for a few things in this fandom) it surely won’t arrive in time. Sadly. Anyway, there’s that and the bonus material to look forward too. Also, there are new magazines with Akaso and Machida praising each other. And seems Cherry Magic won another award! TV Life something something.

Again, forgive this self-indulgent post. But please, feel free to indulge in improper discussion here (I love disucssions!). There is a Disqus option. Just saying.

#cherry magic #machida keita #akaso eiji

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heartofmilky · 3 years

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now that cherry magic just ended i’m gonna ramble about how cute and well-written this show is and i appreciate it very much. i haven’t touched my tumblr in years but i went back on because i’ve been reading people’s analysis on the show as it was airing and i’ve enjoyed seeing everyone’s opinions. cherry magic has become my comfort show in the way that it’s so simple yet executes love and character so well. when i first watched cherry magic, i found myself crying at almost every episode. at first i thought i was just being emotional bc it was a really cute romance but then i looked into it deeper and found that this show really touched me because of its realistic portrayal of human emotions and motivations.

the idea of just wanting to be loved for yourself is exactly what kurosawa and adachi wanted and they gave each other exactly that. i cried because i wanted a romance like they had but also because i related with adachi as an introvert and wanted to realize my own self confidence the way that adachi gains courage talk to kurosawa and eventually other people in his office. while adachi still is an introvert after being a couple with kurosawa, he gains confidence in expressing his feelings and tries to help other people with it like when he encouraged tsuge by announcing his own relationship. of course, kurosawa also gains confidence because of adachi’s acceptance towards him after all those years of pining, as adachi saw him for his kind and thoughtful character. i adore adachi and kurosawa’s relationship because both characters are respectful of the other and there’s healthy communication, and overall the relationships built within the entire cast is so wholesome uwu

i wanna add on that this show brings up multiple realistic problems people go through such as the fear of being judged by your sexual orientation or having a hard time speaking up to others as an introvert, but the main message that it teaches through this story and the main one i took away from it is that you don’t have to figure everything out at a young age and you can slowly go through life at your own pace. and even if you are unaware of it and don’t initially see the value in yourself, there are people around you that love you just how you are and care about you very much! everything cherry magic portrayed was done very well and i’m happy i was able to discover this amazing bl show! i’ll miss waiting for new episodes weekly, but i’m hoping for another season! ty to the author of the manga, the director of this show, the cast, and everything involved with this show that gave me so much serotonin <3

#cherry magic #cherry mahou #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#kurodachi #kurosawa yuichi #adachi kiyoshi #bl drama #japanese bl #brb im gonna cry #merry christmas btw lmao #the last ep was the best christmas present owo

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tobeornottotc · 3 years

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CHERRY MAGIC EPISODE 5- ADACHI’S EMOTIONAL TURMOIL

ELATED and IN LOVE

I just want to announce how in love Adachi is in Cherry Magic episode 5. And to also announce that he probably now knows that, that’s what happening. First of all we start of episode 5 with him elated and proud of going out of his way to protect Kurosawa. He finally gets to do something for the guy who has it all. Adachi has been feeling since episode 1 that he’s not good enough for Kurosawa, he’s not able to provide or be interesting enough for someone so ‘blinding’ and ‘perfect’ as Kurosawa is. At the beginning he’s just a shell, shy, introverted, hidden and he didn’t think he had anything special about him. He didn’t fall in love because he didn’t want to get hurt when people were dissapointed in him. To see how much Kurosawa’s belief and love for him has made him start to believe in his self worth and push him to do things for people and no longer hide, it’s amazing and so touching. In fact his elation this episode at the start is because yes he realises that having magic is changing his life and making him interact with people more, but he truly believes and thinks its all because of Kurosawa’s love for him. It’s because of how Kurosawa viewed him and he wanted to keep making sure that Kurosawa saw him like that, he wanted to have that person who Kurosawa loved and he wanted to have those qualities so he can prove to himself that he’s worth being close to Kurosawa. He’s grateful and excited at finally being noticed and he’s finally ready to spend more time with Kurosawa who he really wants to get closer to and is appreciative of only for the girl to show up and bring him back to square 1: Internalised homophobic (IH) thoughts and self insecurity.

DEJECTED and JEALOUS

You can see the hurt reaction Adachi feels when he sees or thinks of a possibility that Kurosawa has other people who may be interested in him. He clutches his heart, he runs in the rain carelessly and distracted only to get home restless and fall asleep in his office attire but then be woken up because of torment of the thoughts of Kurosawa being seduced by someone else. First he has an uncontrollable sad feeling that Kurosawa’s new girl is beautiful and better suited for him. This is just both IH (because she’s a woman and she’s the right choice) but also self insecurity because he still feels useless/and not as special for someone like Kurosawa to love. This leads to him without really knowing it getting love sick and also sick from the rain and the stress he’s going through. He begins to return back to scared Adachi, the same idea that he and Kurosawa should just be colleagues (the same idea he pushed away in episode 2) he just reverts back to shy and insecure Adachi. His jealousy gets worse when he notices that for the first time in a while Kurosawa isn’t paying attention to him, because he’s also tired and busy from work. Kurosawa doesn’t try to find him or notice that they’re in the same room together, when we’ve seen for the past episodes that that’s all he used to do. So Adachi also then becomes frustrated because he’s no longer being noticed by Kurosawa making his insecure thoughts even more proven to him that they’re returning back to being strangers/peers.

ANGRY and RESENTFUL

Adachi then proceeds to become a mess of emotions, he’s restless at work because he can’t focus, and he’s slowly getting even sicker, and he’s getting even more irritated at all that has happened. He’s angry at a lot of things without realising it, he’s angry at the girl for showing up and being so perfect for Kurosawa, he’s angry at Kurosawa for bringing out of his shell, for always paying attention to him and loving him only for him to spend one night with this girl and then to start ‘ignoring’ his presence, he’s angru at himself for letting him self start to care about Kurosawa more than ‘peers’ way. And he realises this in the taxi. it makes him smile so he has recognised what this means, he cares, he doesn’t want Kurosawa to stop liking him, to stop paying attention to him, to stop loving him. Adachi isn’t scared anymore of Kurosawa’s feelings because he also wants more from their ‘partnership’. he also wants to still be wanted and loved by Kurosawa. He recognised he was jealous and he accepted it with a smile when he realised that Kurosawa was worried as ever and still cared for him.

THE KUROSAWA OF IT ALL

Thing is we all know that girl isn’t Kurosawa’s ex, I don’t believe it for one second either a best friend that frustrates him or a sister that annoys him and comes to him whenever she’s dumped. He’s just as frustrated at her showing up in the taxi because she’s impeding and breaking the ,moment for him to be alone with Adachi. Since Adachi saved him from the boss tantrum, he’s been wanting to hang out and spend time with him, and he got caught up in work and was so busy that he didn’t have time to pause. But when he did notice Adachi he was happy, and ready to ask him out again. He was also incredibly worried and he became distracted and focused once he realised that Adachi did not look well. The moment he finally gets to spend some time with Adachi alone (who by the way was avoiding him for some time since their rooftop moment and had only slowly started talking to him again after he saved him from being punched), he gets again prevented to do so which is why he’s frustrated. Poor Kurosawa.

Either way I think we are so close to the confession and like moment for Adachi and Kurosawa to get together. Adachi now has figured out where his feelings lie, and what they mean despite still a little scared, I think Kurosawa makes him braver and he’s always automatically making sure Kurosawa does not stop wanting to like him etc. Kurosawa is at a point I think where he’s slowly now ready to confront how he’s feeling with Adachi, he’s been going through roller coaster of emotions with Adachi, he’s always given some hope but then Adachi disappears then he gets hope again then Adachi disappears. So i think its slowly starting to push him to say something soon. Hence what we see in the trailer for episode 6. I get it. Plus probably he’s jealous as well so he’s going to go through what Adachi went through this episode. I just love them.

#cherry magic!#cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#cherry magic #cherrymagic #japanese bl #analysis #reviews #bl series #bl drama #adachi x kurosawa #30 years of virginity can make you a wizard

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twh-news · 3 years

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To land ‘Loki,’ Kate Herron had to pull out all the stops. How she won over Marvel

As a teenager, Kate Herron was obsessed with the “Lord of the Rings” films.

In particular, she recalls heading to theaters repeatedly with friends who shared her passion to see “The Two Towers” (2002), the second installment in director Peter Jackson’s trilogy based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic fantasy novel. She even wrote “Lord of the Rings” fan fiction.

“It was very silly,” the British filmmaker insists, revealing that one of her stories saw the heroic Fellowship traveling through a magical fountain and getting trapped in New York. “Honestly, I was just writing the stories to make my friends laugh. I guess it was kind of that first foray for me: ‘How do I tell a story?’”

Years later, Herron is again involved in telling a story about a protagonist displaced from the world he knows. But this time, her audience is much bigger.

Herron, 33, is the director of “Loki,” the Marvel Studios series that follows the adventures of the titular god of mischief after he has been plucked out of time by an agency charged with maintaining the sanctity of the timeline. Thus, the six-episode series, which premiered earlier this month on Disney+, features a slightly different version of Loki than the fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe have grown to love since his first appearance in “Thor” (2011) through “Avengers: Endgame” (2019).

“I love villains,” says Herron during a recent video call from Atlanta, where she is putting the final touches on “Loki.” “I think that if a villain’s done right, you don’t necessarily have to like their actions, but you have to understand them. And I think that Tom [Hiddleston], in the last decade, has brought such empathy and wit and pain to a very real character for so many people. I just wanted to be part of whatever [Loki’s] next chapter was going to be.”

The series, on which the self-described Loki fan also serves as an executive producer, is Herron’s highest-profile project to date. Her previous credits include directing on Netflix’s “Sex Education,” as well as “Five by Five,” a series of short films executive produced by Idris Elba.

While growing up in South East London, Herron never considered filmmaking as a career. Her love of movies manifested as the aspiration to become an actor, and she often goaded her peers into putting on plays or making movies using a friend’s father’s camcorder. It wasn’t until some astute and encouraging teachers at Herron’s secondary school pointed out that she seemed more interested in storytelling that she changed course.

By introducing Herron to new texts, these teachers — as well as a film studies class that covered films directed by Stanley Kubrick and Akira Kurosawa — helped expand her perspective.

“I just didn’t know that you could have a voice and an authorship over a film, which probably sounds a bit silly. But I just hadn’t really thought about films in that way,” says Herron. Soon enough, she was on the path to film school at the University for the Creative Arts in Farnham, England, where she graduated with a degree in film production.

Herron laughs as she remembers how she believed she would just go off and find work in film straight out of school. “Obviously that did not happen,” she says.

With no post-graduate roadmap (or job offer) to help her break into the industry, Herron eventually started writing and directing short films with “no money” while juggling a day job as a temp. Both experiences provided Herron with material for “Loki,” which introduces a new bureaucratic agency called the Time Variance Authority to the MCU.

“I’ve worked at a lot of random places, which weirdly has influenced ‘Loki’ in some ways because we have this office culture kind of running through it,” says Herron. “I’ve worked in a lot of offices.”

In order to give the retro-futuristic offices of the TVA “a real lived-[in], breathed-in office” feel, Herron incorporated details that viewers could recognize from the real world — from paper files to the posters on the walls — and gave them a fantastical twist befitting the superhero series.

“One of the most exciting things to me about Kate is she has this amazing attention to detail,” says “Loki” co-executive producer Kevin Wright. “That was something that we saw on her very first pitch [and] it works its way into every frame of the show. Every monitor, every piece of paper in the TVA … she has looked over and approved everything you see.”

In an email, “Loki” star Hiddleston described Herron as “a dream collaborator” who possesses “a unique combination of extraordinary diligence, stamina, energy, respect and kindness.”

“Her affection for and understanding of Loki was so deep, profound and wide-ranging,” Hiddleston wrote. “She built a new world for these characters to play in with incredible precision, but she was also acutely sensitive to their emotional journey.”

Herron’s affinity for outsiders is apparent throughout the course of our conversation. There is of course her love for Loki — the heir to the king of Frost Giants raised as the prince of Asgard who has become one of the MCU’s most beloved villain-turned-antiheroes. Herron’s first introduction to the world of Marvel as a kid was through “X-Men: The Animated Series,” about the superhero team with mutant powers that set them apart from average humans. Herron cites Lisa Simpson — the overachieving, opinionated middle child from the animated sitcom “The Simpsons” — as the reason she is a vegetarian who can play the saxophone.

And although Herron describes herself as shy, it’s no match for the passion she brings to discussing film and television.

She calls Wes Anderson’s 2001 film “The Royal Tenenbaums,” co-written by “Loki” actor Owen Wilson, “a perfect movie.” In addition to being obsessed with “The Simpsons,” Herron gravitated toward genre shows such as “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” the updated “Battlestar Galactica” and “The X-Files” when growing up.

As Herron enthusiastically dives into “Loki’s” influences — which include “Alien” (1979), “Blade Runner” (1982), “Brazil” (1985), “Metropolis” (1927) and, yes, even “Teletubbies” — it’s easy to see why Wright knew she was the right person to bring “Loki” to life from their very first meeting.

Upon learning that Marvel was developing a show about Loki, Herron tasked her agents with calling Marvel every day until they would meet with her. And it worked.

“I was just so excited that somebody was chasing the project,” says Wright. “Which sounds crazy, that Marvel would be excited somebody’s chasing us. But it was the early days of us trying to get this Disney+ streaming stuff off the ground, so people were very hesitant … they didn’t know what it was yet.”

Herron’s enthusiasm for the show landed her a video meeting with Wright and executive producer Stephen Broussard. Believing it might be her only shot at the project, Herron came armed with so many stills and clips to illustrate her discussion of the scripts she’d been sent that a simple meet-and-greet turned into a four-hour conversation.

“Over the course of the next week or so,” Wright explains, “it was really figuring out how to set Kate up to succeed when we got her in front of Kevin Feige to pitch this.”

Herron put together a 60-page bible of ideas for the characters, the story, the visual references and more. The rest is Marvel history.

She learned not to wait for permission, she says, after graduating from film school and becoming involved with improv and stand-up to both develop her comedy chops and to meet funny collaborators to be in her short films.

“I think I’d always find excuses, almost, [to not do it],” says Herron. “It was that thing of being like, ‘Oh, well, I’m not ready. So I’ll wait. I’ll wait until I’m perfect at it and then I’ll go do it.’”

Taking inspiration from Robert Rodriguez’s “Rebel Without a Crew” and a SXSW keynote speech by Mark Duplass, Herron realized that she just needed to start making things. She told herself it was OK if the films were messy. If a short was bad, nobody had to see it. If a short was “halfway to good,” she would submit them to festivals.

It’s this tenacious creativity that connects the dots between her early fan fiction, her short films, her pitch presentations — and now “Loki” itself. It’s a trait that has helped her navigate the industry to her current success, even during the periods it’s been most frustrating. As a female director, “I got asked crazy stuff in interviews sometimes,” she says of life on the festival circuit. “I remember being asked, ‘Are you sure you’re ready? Are you sure you’re ready?’ And male colleagues of mine were never asked that in interviews. I think that’s probably why I was so driven to just go out and make stuff.”

#loki #loki series #kate herron #interview #los angeles times #article

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vintagegeekculture · 4 years

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Who are the “Venoms Mob?”

Well, first things first: if you go to China and talk about the 5 Venoms, or the Venoms Mob, they’ll have absolutely no idea who you’re talking about there, because that’s a fandom-term among US Kung Fu cult movie fans.

In Hong Kong, the Venoms are known as director Chang Cheh’s Weapons Expert Troupe, a group of five lifelong friends, martial artists, bodybuilders, exotic weapons experts, and trained acrobats who did at least a dozen movies for manly man Kung Fu director Chang Cheh in the 1970s and 1980s. They were the real deal: they usually choreographed their own fight scenes, which often involved flips and crazy stunts due to their acrobat training, high-wire acts, and unusual and exotic weaponry not typically seen even in martial arts movies. It’s like every single one of them drank the Captain America potion. Their films tended to end in heroic sacrifices, and the Venoms, for all their athleticism and daring, tended to be identifiable people on the bottom end of the societal ladder: homeless drifters, refugees, itinerant hobos, traveling performers, or restaurant workers.

The Venoms were stars in the US, particularly among the black community who love Chinese martial arts movies, not just because of their truly breathtaking skill and choreography, but because they are how most people feel they are, secretly, deep down: rams among sheep. They are the poor, downtrodden, or average person who decides “not to take it anymore” after untold indignities. This is also why the Venoms are especially important to the black community. In fact, if you want to know how much the Venoms mean to their fans, just go up to nearly any Black Dad over 45+ and ask about the “5 Venoms.”

Chang Cheh, Director of the Venoms

The best way to describe the director and writer of the Venoms films, Chang Cheh is that he is basically Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia if he decided to make Gladiator and loved Sergio Leone and Kurasawa.

The director and writer of the Venoms movies, and maybe the most significant name in the history of Kung Fu cinema apart from Bruce Lee, Chang Cheh was towering enough that Quentin Tarantino dedicated Kill Bill Part 2 to Chang Cheh in the closing credits. It would not be inaccurate to say he invented the Kung Fu movie as we know it, with its training montages, mentor-student relationships, all cut with themes of vengeance, noble self-sacrifice, and rebellion of poor and ordinary people against unjust authority.

Chang Cheh’s life story is fascinating. His father was a warlord during the Republican Era between the World Wars, which must have made for an interesting school career day. He started as a film critic and became a screenwriter, then from being a screenwriter, became a director. I wonder if that is the reason that Chang Cheh was so fascinated by themes of masculinity and male bonding, as the arty, openly gay movie critic son of a central Asian warlord had a nearly impossible standard of masculinity to live up to.

The two Western movies that are, thematically, the closest to Chang Cheh are Gladiator and Saving Private Ryan, and if you like both of those movies, you’ll probably like him. His heroes are often James Dean-like angry young men, poor and at the outskirts of society. His movies tend to end in heroic self-sacrifice for a noble cause, and tend to have themes of vengeance, arty blood red slaughter, and a distrust of authority and government of any kind. He loves bloodshed and thinks violence is beautiful; an image that comes up often is someone in an all white outfit that gets covered in blood, an arty view of violence similar to his two biggest influences, Sergio Leone and Kurosawa. Like the Shawshank Redemption, Chang Cheh movies are essentially ensemble pieces about the friendships and close comradely bonds of brotherhood between men. Very few women of any kind have extensive speaking parts in his movies.

Another movie that also summarizes Chang Cheh would be 300. Remember that Sarah Silverman bit where she said that “300 is the answer to the question, how gay is this movie on a scale of 1 to 10?” Not just because it is about an entirely male cast, or about finding fulfillment in noble self-sacrifice and heroism Alamo-style against desperate odds, but also because it’s about glorifying the male body, with tons of abs and pecs. I suppose I should mention here that Chang Cheh’s movies are profoundly homoerotic, and discussion of their homoeroticism is the major way film academics talk about these movies. How many scenes in Cheh’s movies are about dudes hanging out with their shirts off, flexing their muscles? Or about “brothers” who clasp each other on the shoulder while looking longingly into each other’s eyes in a shot-reverse shot? The only meaningful relationship in his movies are male ones. I dislike passing on cheap gossip, but by all accounts it’s actually an open secret in the Hong Kong film industry that Chang Cheh was homosexual and lived with other men.

Yi Kuang -Screenwriter of the Venoms

The screenwriter of nearly all the Venoms movies, much like Chang Cheh, Yi Kuang had an interesting life. He was a Communist Party officer who went to Inner Mongolia, where his primary job was writing death sentences for landlords. Once idealistic, he left disillusioned with the Chinese Communist Party, and a remained a die-hard anticommunist. Evil bureaucrats tend to show up in his stories often for that reason, and a common theme of his scripts is the anger of ordinary people against distant, unapproachable authorities. There’s no understanding Venoms films without their screenwriter. Chang Cheh started as a screenwriter and wrote his movies, but Yi Kuang was his most frequent partner.

Interestingly, Yi Kuang got famous long after for writing a series of supernatural and horror novels called the Mr. Wisely books, where a traditional Chinese medicine expert fights for sites of power charged with Feng Shui. It’s interesting to see his turn to the supernatural, sorcery, and ghosts as an overreaction to his distaste for Marxist materialism. Of all the Venoms films, the one that shows his influence the strongest was the one the Venoms fight an evil human sacrifice devil cult, Masked Avengers.

The Hero – Kuo Chui

A guy with a big smile and a body carved out of marble, Kuo Chui started as a circus acrobat before becoming a stuntman and then a leading actor. He was the Venom with the strongest and most natural screen presence, the one that was the most “movie star.” In fact, he was almost always the hero and central character of Venoms movies, usually playing the most levelheaded and strategic minded of the group.

Kuo Chui deserves some credit also for being the one Venom to actually direct a movie himself, Ninja in the Deadly Trap. This sounds like a heck of a leap, but in Hong Kong, nearly all choreographers also direct their fight scenes. It’s no surprise that a common career path in Hong Kong cinema is to go from choreographer to director (see also Chang Cheh’s ex-choreographers, Tang Chia and 36 Chambers director Liu Chia Liang)

The Bad Guy – Lu Feng

Every single movie, Lu Feng was the heel, the bad guy. I mean, heck, in Shaolin Rescuers, he even played the evil apprentice of the supreme supervillain of the martial arts, Pai Mei! But no matter what, Lu Feng was just so cool that you couldn’t help but root for him just a little bit. He was a character type common in pro wrestling: the arrogant “cool heel,” like Rick Flair and the Horsemen.

The Venoms tended to be workaday regular poor guys, but Lu Feng usually played a rich guy who oozed arrogance and menace, rather like the evil rich football player heel in college movies.

The Funny Guy – Chiang Sheng

A guy who usually played the funny young hero or a wisecracking comedy sidekick prone to wiseassery and pratfalls, Chiang Peng was the Venom who most benefited from the rise of Jackie Chan, and his introduction of silent film era inspired physical comedy into the otherwise stale Kung Fu film. Like Robin Williams, Chiang Shiang was someone who made everyone else laugh, but because he had a lot of darkness inside him, which ended up killing him. Chiang Sheng is the only Venom to not be with us, he drank himself to death after his divorce in 1991. Because of this, there can never really be a full Venoms reunion.

One of the most amazing things about Hong Kong cinema in the 70s is that the actors tended to have scraggly teeth that aren’t perfect and that seemed to be Chang Shieng’s defining trait. To be clear, I am not in any way mocking him for having bad teeth. In fact, I think it is rather winsome and endearing, like a teenager with braces.

The Tough Guy – Lo Meng

Known as the “Shaolin Hercules,” the person I’d compare Lo Meng to is Mr. Worf. Ultra-strong, humorless, intimidating, dead serious and never smiling, he was by far the most muscular and powerful of the Venoms, with tons of machismo and swagger, “big dick energy” as the kids say today. The camera tends to linger on his oiled up biceps and chest in extreme close-up…but was also, usually, the first to die in nearly all of these films. Much like how Worf was the toughest guy ever, but usually got beat up a lot so the writers could show that the situation was serious. In fact, Lo Meng, still in great shape, was in Ip Man 4, where, not one to break with a tradition, he was the first guy to get his ass beat in the film, even in a movie made in the Year of Our Lord 2020.

Lo Meng tends to be the “backup main hero” and was even the main character in films like 2 Champions of Shaolin. He had the most impressive “solo” film career apart from the other Venoms. Like Geri Halliwell, he left the Venoms to do his own thing, which is why the defining trait of the later Venom films is that he wasn’t there.

Lo Meng wasn’t Taiwanese like the other Venoms, and was a native of Hong Kong. In fact, he got his start in the film industry not as a stuntman or muscleman, but as an accountant for the Shaw Brothers studios, and he lifted weights and did Praying Mantis Kung Fu as a hobby. That’s…that’s hilarious. Reminds me of that fake Simpsons movie, Undercover Nerd with Renier Wolfcastle:

The Wild Card – Chun Shieng

Would YOU trust this man? I wouldn’t. He betrayed the Toad!

That’s Chun Shieng for you, the wild card Venom who could “go either way” and so wasn’t an entirely trustworthy ally.

Allow me to correct a misconception I’ve seen in a lot of places: Chun is sometimes known as “the one Korean Venom.” He isn’t Korean but Chinese, but he was trained in Korea and is a Tae Kwon Do expert, unlike the other Venoms, who studied Chinese Kung Fu and Peking Opera. And it certainly shows: he always fights with a kick-heavy Tae Kwon Do style that does not look much like any Kung Fu at all.

#kung fu #martial arts #shaw brothers #70s #5 venoms

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beneaththetangles · 3 years

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Reader’s Corner: Last Dungeon, Talentless Nana, and Oregairu

The World’s Finest Assassin Gets Reincarnated in Another World as an Aristocrat, Vol. 1

When a proficient assassin gets “taken care of” after he is no longer needed, a goddess gives him the opportunity to be reincarnated in another world, but with a task to complete. The hero who will defeat the Demon King who is projected to go crazy with power and destroy the world himself, and he needs to be killed once his job is done. To that end, the newly-reincarnated Lugh is born into a noble house that secretly conducts assassinations to eliminate problematic nobles in the country. From here, this is pretty standard isekai fare: Lugh makes use of powerful skills and knowledge of his previous life as he meets girls, invents items from Earth, and prepares for his eventual encounter with the hero. A few things help this novel out, though: For one thing, as far as the romance/harem aspects go, things are not dragged out much at all. Lugh is explicitly in love with one of the girls, and is made well aware how other girls feel about him, so overall the romance aspect is more pleasant than frustrating. There’s also a running theme of Lugh wanting to live for himself instead of blindly following orders from those above him like he did in his past life, and how that affects both his current assassin life and his greater mission. This leads to the possibility of keeping the hero (who we do not yet meet in this volume) from being corrupted without killing him, which definitely has potential. Overall, though, this is still a fairly “standard” isekai that is mainly for established fans of the genre, who are okay with something that is entertaining even if it isn’t particularly groundbreaking or amazing. ~ stardf29

The World’s Finest Assassin Gets Reincarnated in Another World as an Aristocrat, Vol. 1 is available from Yen Press, who provided a review copy for this article.

My Youth Romantic Comedy is Wrong, As I Expected, Vol. 10.5

After an increasingly seriousness tone, compounded for the last several volumes, 10.5 features the fluff of a date chapter involving Irohasu and Hikki and the special treat a chapter devoted to Zaimokuza. These initial stories, the earlier adapted into an OVA, reflect much of what makes the series special: outstanding and unique voices, the hilariously self-deprecating thoughts from Hikki, and the interplay between the characters. That last component is especially uproarious in the dating chapter, one of the rare instances in which the Oregairu anime doesn’t nearly do justice to the written volume. To be sure, this entire light is a special treat for Irohasu fans, with Watari himself stating in the afterword, “With Iroha on the cover, it’s been like, this volume has been all Irohasu! Irohasu 100 perfect!” But as expected of the author, even for a “.5 novel,” there’s more here than just romantic moments and humor. The third and most lengthy chapter reminds readers that the characters are all growing as they each, in their own ways, reach for that “something genuine.” So while volume 10.5 may be a respite from those coming immediately before, it’s not a throwaway, but rather a worthy addition to this popular and engaging series. ~ Twwk

My Youth Romantic Comedy is Wrong, As I Expected Vol. 10.5 is available from Yen Press.

Talentless Nana, Vol. 1

Let’s take a group of high school kids with super powers and place them in a separate high school where they learn to defeat enemies of humanity. Sound familiar? It sure feels very similar, after all, to the premise of My Hero Academia. Yet by the end of the first chapter, Talentless Nana has sets itself apart. The students of the series have super powers called talents, and are separated and trained to supposedly use their powers against the “enemies of humanity.” But that’s not the whole story. The first chapter ends with the titular Nana murdering one of the students in the name of protecting the world from these same “enemies of humanity.” According to her and the people who brought her to the school, the true enemies are the talented humans. She has a cell phone telling her predictions on how many deaths each student will cause from their misuse of powers. It’s a psychological manga that makes you question every character and their motives continuously, and also a fascinating tale of paranoia and misinformation. ~ MDMRN

Talentless Nana is currently simulpublished by Crunchyroll.

Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies Moved to a Starter Town, Vol. 1

This light novel has an anime adaptation airing this season, and since I enjoyed the first couple episodes, I became curious to check out the source material. I’m sorry to say, of that I’m not a fan. Lloyd moves from a strange village on the edge of civilization, where everyone is so OP that Lloyd is considered weak, and comes to a more normal municipality, where everyone but him can see that he’s totally OP; comical adventures ensue. On the bright side, this story is quite funny and has some interesting characters. Unfortunately, I had other issues with it. An extended scene near the beginning of the tale features the villagers heaping ridicule on Lloyd and describing all the ways he is “weak.” It’s supposed to be funny, but frankly, their criticism is so unreasonable and hurtful to Lloyd that it qualifies as abuse. Besides knowing the truth yet not dealing with this situation, the village chief, Alka, is also petty, cruel, capricious, deceitful, needlessly destructive, and OH YEAH SHE’S AN OVERPOWERED AUTHORITY FIGURE WHO’S MORE THAN 100 YEARS OLD AND SHE’S GROOMING A KID (Lloyd) SO SHE CAN GET IN BED WITH HIM. Sorry, but being a sexual predator just isn’t funny. It’s a pity that she keeps showing up to ruin scene after scene. I won’t be continuing with this series. ~ jeskaiangel

Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies Moved to a Starter Town, vol. 1 is published by Yen Press.

Skip Beat, Vol. 16

The boys take center stage in volume 16 as Reino’s actions bring a surprisingly physical reaction from Sho, while the fallout of his insertion once again in Kyoko’s life has implications for Ren. So while this volume remains as interesting as the rest, that has less to do with the intricacies of the idol (and now acting) world and more so with its introspective look at Ren and Sho. The latter continues to be humanized as the series forces us to consider the question, Has he changed? It certainly seems as much, though readers’ feelings may turn based not only on his repentant treatment of Kyoko, but also the seriousness with which he approaches his craft, focused on for the first time in these chapters. Meanwhile, Ren is an absolute mess, with his worry about and desire for Kyoko finally bubbling to the surface in the form of…a stomachache? An unexpected side of Ren, for sure, but one that adds additional layers to his characterization. ~ Twwk

Skip Beat Vol. 16 is available through Viz, who provided a review copy for this article.

Shadows of Spawn: Collected Edition

Shadows of Spawn was a manga adaptation of the American comic of the same name…kind of. Instead of Al Simmons, though, a Japanese-American street thug named Ken Kurosawa dies and goes to Hell. He is then brought back to life years later as a hell-spawn after making a deal with a devil named Malebolgia. So, same general concept, but instead of a former government assassin, Shadows features a common criminal / martial arts expert as the main character. Kurosawa sells his soul for the primary purpose of returning to Earth to protect his sister, and spends the remainder of the three-volume series trying to do just that from the shadows while battling and befriending fill-in characters that represent similar ones from the mainline Spawn comic series. The thing about Shadows of Spawn is that the plot starts slowly, but the cast grows quickly as it tries very rapidly to build an ensemble cast for a new (manga reading) audience while staying inside the existing foundation of Todd McFarlane’s Spawn universe. The saddest part of all is that by the time the series really hit its stride with storytelling (volume 3), the series was cancelled. It’s a shame, as concept definitely had potential. ~ MDMRN

Shadows of Spawn: Collected Edition was published by Image Comics, but is currently out of print.

#Manga #Light Novels #The World’s Finest Assassin Gets Reincarnated in Another World as an Aristocrat #Sekai Saikou no Ansatsusha Isekai Kizoku ni Tensei Suru #Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru.#My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU #My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As I Expected #Oregairu #Talentless Nana #Munou na Nana #Suppose a Kid From the Last Dungeon Boonies Moved to a Starter Town #Tatoeba Last Dungeon Mae no Mura no Shounen ga Joban no Machi de Kurasu Youna Monogatari #Skip Beat!#Shadows of Spawn #Otaku Reader's Corner #Author: stardf29 #Author: TWWK #Author: MDMRN #Author: Jeskai Angel

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astro-break · 4 years

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Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)

Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with

Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)

I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute

Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing

so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it

Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.

Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap

I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize

I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!

If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets

OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds

Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character

I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them

OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work

Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.

Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.

The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol

(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)

Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me

sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)

But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.

I really love MTC guys

Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)

the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining

Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that

kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)

FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.

Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.

the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.

Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.

Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide

Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao

I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here

The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice

I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.

Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.

:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypnosis mic rhyme anima #hypnosis mic rythme anima spoilers #hypmic spoilers #my post

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aqvarius · 4 years

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HLITF: This is not the story of your first night: Soma - otona love - chapter 3 summary/translation

and we’re onto chapter 3! you can read the previous chapter here or check my new translations page to read from the beginning.

soma has just whispered in your ear (that you guys aren’t like that [doing SM play]) and you swear his lips touched your ear. you involuntarily put your hands on your ears at the feeling of his breath and he smiles. he’s read you completely again and you’re shocked that he could see into your mind to know that you were suspecting that the two of you had been engaging in sadomasochistic play.

soma: “but my “words” seem to trouble you...”

honestly how dare you say that with that face omg i know exactly what he’s doing!! the way he phrases things (guilt tripping you) while also using keigo honestly makes me die i love it so much.

he tells you that you worry too much and you say “n-no... i’m not really worried...”

soma says he will refrain from saying such things in the future. meanwhile i’m here screaming bc i love it when he's mean and we all know that the mc is do-M (super masochist) and also secretly loves it lmao.

soma: “of course, if you want to play like that-”

you: “I’M OKAY!!”

you freak out bc he’s saying all this in the department office!!

soma: “please tell me whenever you change your mind”

omg i actually need to take a break from this bc i’m like giddy at him having the gall to say that with that smile in the workplace!!!

“the pressure of this composed smile... it’s a technique that only soma-san can do”

keep reading under the cut!

anyway tsugaru pops up and tells you to do some work and you’re intimidated by the pressure of another smile (tsugaru’s). soma excuses himself politely and then tsugaru says he doesn’t have to run away like that. soma replies that he also has “work” to do (mirroring the way that tsugaru told you to get to work).

“the two of them are sending pressuring smiles to each other”

“awawa... why are these people always like this...”

lmaoooo i’m done hahaha hlitf mc is so done with their shit and i’m here having another break bc i’m laughing so hard. i’m getting flashbacks to that confrontation in soma ss3 where mc has this face... you know the one...

tsugaru asks if shuusuke-kun is also going to an SM bar, but soma says that he’ll leave the infiltration up to kurosawa. tsugaru asks won’t you experience it personally for work (not sure who he’s talking to) and you are like ?!?! why are you looking at me?

i imagine she has that face again lol.

soma says well, if you want to get some SM experience, you could do it through this public safety division. tsugaru says everyone here (in public safety) is an S type and you think “that’s what i thought too!”

then tsugaru says: “wouldn’t it be better to be the SM division of the national police instead?”

anyone who says hlitf isn’t the best voltage title ever is a liar.

you’re like “eh...” but you wonder why he’s still looking at you and if your thoughts are being leaked to tsugaru as well.

“by the way usa-chan [lil bun], you haven’t leaked information about shuusuke-kun, right?” tsugaru says. you deny it. he asks you if you’ll do your best for each other’s work and soma agrees and says you guys never tell each other anything. i think basically what tsugaru is asking is if you guys leak information to each other and soma is saying that you guys don’t discuss work secrets with each other. with a small laugh, soma leaves.

obviously you don’t leak the contents of your investigations but you wonder if soma can really say “such a remark”?

(i’m not 100% sure what she’s talking about here. i wonder if soma said something like leaking investigation content would be useless (無用) which then prompts the response?

“捜査内容の他言無用は当然のこととしても… 颯馬さん、本当にできるのかな？ ”そういう発言” を控えることなんて” this is the full text if anyone can help me!)

soma’s mean remarks come as naturally to him as breathing. you take these remarks naturally because you're always hearing them, but is that what you would call kotobazeme? (verbal attack) you start working at your seat, but your head is in the clouds, wondering what kotobazeme even is.

tsugaru: “that’s a nice expression”

tsugaru: “a woman’s face when she’s lost in thought is sexy, isn’t it”

you wonder if this is also kotobazeme.... no, it’s sekuhara [sexual harrassment]...? tsugaru tells you he likes that kind of face that thinks about amazing/outrageous things but also doesn’t think about anything and you realise, this isn’t sexual harassment or verbal attack...

“IT’S JUST SARCASM...!”

“momose-san ... i wish you would stop laughing through your nose like that”

this is the first time i remember actually seeing the momose smiling sprite and i can’t believe i have to see it bc i just got dissed by tsugaru wtf!! i wanted to see momose smile/laugh but not like this...........

anyway, tsugaru announces the new target, hands out case documents and then says something about needing 2 people to carry it out. momose directs an extremely annoyed look at you when he understands what that means (that it’s you and him on this mission).

tsugaru says yoroshiku ne and momose has to accept. he replies well, but you can tell he definitely doesn’t want to do this with you. momose immediately stands up with the documents and says let’s go.

on a side note, seeing momose’s face on my larger laptop screen has me swooning... maybe bc his skin looks so milky and we have the same hair colour lmao?? i would die for a momose route.

you tell him “w-wait, let me get ready-” and he’s like “you’re so slow”. you haven’t even read the materials yet. tsugaru says ganbatte ne, you reply ittekimasu (i’m off!) and leave the division in a hurry.

you run after momose and see soma talking on the phone and wonder who he’s talking to. (he basically just says “yes” and “that’s right” a lot on the phone here.) you’re in a rush, but your pace slows down. it’s hard to listen in/ask about the conversation because it might be concerning a mission. you hear him say that the matter is going as planned and you exchange nods/slight bows as he's talking. his eyes are kinder than you expected, your heart thumps and you have to drop your gaze a little.

“...such pretty fingers,” you think. your gaze lingers on soma’s hand which is carrying a smartphone as he walks further slowly.

“soma’s fingers are so long and straight, and supple”

“i’m used to seeing them, but somehow my heart is still pounding”

“when those fingers are “attacking” it’s a one hit KO*” (😲🤯)

*by attacking, you know what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ichikoro means like defeated in one blow, but here i think she’s basically saying that when he fingers her (or touches her with his fingers if we want to be milder), it gets her weak (or makes her orgasm??)/she’s done immediately.

anyway you’re like ?!?! omg what am i thinking!! you shake your head and can’t believe what kind of crazy thoughts are popping into your head when you’re at work. soma’s like “?” and you yelp “e-excuse me!”, bow and pass him quickly. it’s because you were thinking about “verbal attack” [kotobazeme] ... but even then, to think about soma’s “finger attack” [yubizeme]...!**

**verbal attack = kotobazeme (言葉攻め) and finger attack = yubizeme (指攻め) use the same term seme (攻め). basically she was thinking about one type of “attacking” and then she thought about his fingers so that’s where her mind landed - in the gutter lmao

“ahh i’m the worst, this is so embarrassing,” you think. your whole body gets hot and you try to escape but -

???: “you dropped this”

that’s definitely soma’s voice. you can’t ignore him... you turn around helplessly and soma, who has finished his call, presents you with your handkerchief. he tells you it fell from your bag, and you thank him. he asks you what happened to make you so panicked. you tell him momose is waiting for you and he says “oh yes, he went out just before you”. you say that you’re accompanying him [momose] and soma says to please be careful if you’re tailing someone.

soma: “with such a red face, you’re very conspicuous”

he chuckles at you and your face and body grow hotter.

“i-is this verbal attack [kotobazeme]...!?”

soma made such a remark after all-

soma: “my apologies, i just said i would refrain”

your thought that “it’s impossible for you to refrain [from verbal attack]!” was read again.

soma: “but what i’m refraining from-”

with a sudden meaningful smile, soma’s face drew closer...

aaand that’s the end of chapter 3! i can’t believe we’re already halfway through. this story has me constantly laughing and swooning. seeing hlitf mc get all thirsty fantasising about soma’s fingers is so on brand for her i love it. i’m so looking forward to seeing soma being a massive tease (what’s new lol). hope you enjoyed this chapter and please let me know what you’re enjoying the most about this story, or what your predictions are for the rest of the chapters! i think the mission she’s on is going to land her at an SM bar haha... she hasn’t had time to look through the case file yet and i think the reason for that is that she’s going to be completely shocked when she finds out what she has to do on this mission.

in case you missed it, i also translated chapter 1 of “do bad girls like to self-pleasure?”, a masquerade kiss story from kazuomi’s point of view where he catches you self-pleasuring. i might continue translating and recapping that story if there’s enough interest and i can afford it haha.

i’ve also set up a ko-fi page here and would be incredibly grateful if you would like to support me for translations and being able to purchase more routes to recap in english!

click here for chapter 4

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gabriel-gabdiel · 3 years

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Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko Chapter 20: Hook, Line, and Sinker

The secret behind the issue between Tomoyuki Yamamoto and Aya Fubuki.

The rest of the chapters of my original story based on a plot from 4chan are available here. Enjoy.

First | Previous | Next

For what it was worth, Tomoyuki "Cherry Boy" Yamamoto found a way to return the favor to (Alternate Universe) Seiko "Amazon Queen" Okamoto for her thoughtful birthday gift to him.

The best birthday gift he ever got. A trailer for a film that didn't exist in his universe. Seen only by him within his reality.

The trailer for Akira Kurosawa's "Ran". The legendary director's (unintentional) version of William Shakespeare's "King Lear".

What he was about to send to Seiko was in a sense his "White Day" gift for her "Valentine's Day" chocolate.

A return gift of gratitude. A downloaded video from YouTube Japan.

"Hey, Cherry Boy. What's this?" she texted him back.

"Just open the file," he texted in return.

She then texted, "Boo. I thought it's a round or two from Pacquiao- Mayweather, but it's just another one of your Kurosawa film trailers!"

Huh. Maybe he should've sent her a Pac-May clip. Maybe later. "I'll just send you video highlights of it or even their future rematch when it happens. Maybe even on your birthday."

"There's gonna a rematch?! Sweet!" she cheered, only to ask, "So what did you send me?"

"Send it to him. To me. The other me," he answered. "I swear to you, Tomoyuki will love it. I know I do."

She watched the whole thing. All one minute and thirteen seconds of it.

"Cherry Boy, you're a genius! This is the best birthday gift for Tomoyuki since, you know, he canceled on our proposed movie date and all."

Ah. Of course.

AU Miku ended up giving AU Tomoyuki the cold shoulder because he liked AU Seiko's present more than hers, so to make it up to the Class Rep, his other self nixed his date with the Amazon Queen.

Another love triangle had formed in another dimension.

At least the other Okamoto had a love triangle to speak of. He was definitely still in the "Friend Zone" (sorry, Miku) with the Amazon Queen in his universe, her proposal for a pity date aside.

The Amazon Queen that didn't love him as much as this other" her did.

"Sorry," he texted back, pushing his disturbing thoughts at the back of his mind. "But you know what they say about love and war."

"Fair enough, but what do I tell Cherry Boy when I send this video to him? He'll have questions for sure!"

Nodding to no one in particular, Yamamoto replied, "Tell him it's the long-lost and extremely rare alternate trailer for Kagemusha starring Katsu Shintaro instead of Nakadai Tatsuya."

***

Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko

An Anime-Inspired Original Story from 4chan's /a/ Board by Abdiel

Original Idea by Hataki.

The mystery behind Aya will finally be revealed.

Disclaimer: This work may reference copyrighted material, the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. It is believed that this constitutes a fair use of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. All copyrighted material referred to in this work belongs to their respective owners. All rights reserved.

***

Chapter 20: Hook, Line, and Sinker

***

Meanwhile, the Miku Machida in Tomoyuki's universe gave him the opposite of the cold shoulder (A "hot" shoulder? Rubbing shoulders?).

Just like good ol' times, they were again together like white on rice. Talking about Sci-Fi things mixed with cool science facts while walking to class. Again fueling rumors of them being together.

"...Oh, oh, oh! Here's another evidence of the Mandela Effect. Most people remember the Monopoly Man as having no monocle, right? But when you take a look at the box of the board game, he definitely does have a monocle! Spooky, right?" she told him.

Ah, so they were talking about the Mandela Effect again. Misquotes and popular misconceptions mistaken for evidence of parallel worlds and traveling through them.

Except in Tomoyuki's case, the Mandela Effect was all too real.

He patted her head like she was a little kid and smiled at her. "It's very spooky," he said, which made her pout cutely, cross her arms, and turn away from him.

"Don't patronize me!" she said with a harrumph.

Damn, she was so cute when she was annoyed.

Jokingly bullying her was almost worth a taste of the cold shoulder that the (probably jealous) AU Miku was currently giving AU Tomoyuki.

Or maybe he felt like tempting fate for once.

Thankfully, Miku forgot his transgression the next minute, bringing up, "Do you remember how the candy 'KitKat' doesn't have a dash between Kit and Kat? Well, it does! It's actually spelled Kit-Kat"

"Hey, you're right," he said, checking out the nearby snack bar and seeing the Kit-Kat logo having the dash when he remembered otherwise.

She grins. "Amazing, isn't it? I'm telling you, parallel universes exist!"

'You don't have to tell me twice,' he inwardly quipped, taking note that in AU Seiko's universe, it was probably the other way around.

In her universe, KitKat bars probably didn't have dashes and the Monopoly Man most likely didn't have a monocle. Along with other weird things like Michael Jackson, who was brown-skinned, bleaching his skin Caucasian white and having legal issues regarding pedophilia (allegedly).

The old Yamamoto would've been over the moon to have Miku as a best friend, even to the point of fantasizing that they'd somehow end up being more than just friends in the future.

But something changed between them from first year to second year.

That tall, beautiful, athletic, and tomboyish something... or someone... barreled over between them, slinging each of her long arms over their nearest shoulders.

"Hey, Nerds. Still talking about that egghead stuff with the black president guy that's not Obama?"

"It's the Mandela Effect and he's not a president in our universe," reminded Machida. "Here, Mandela died in prison, serving as a symbol of the South African revolution. But so many people wanted him to be president, they all swore he became one. Or maybe it's a memory we had from a different timeline!"

"U-huh. And maybe in a different dimension, Mayweather is a knockout puncher with exciting fights under his belt," the Amazon Queen said, saying the most Seiko thing possible. "I appreciate the man's talent, but boy howdy, am I not looking forward to Mayweather-Pacquiao II."

Tomoyuki then made a mental note to not reveal the actual results of May-Pac to AU Seiko, neglecting to tell her earlier of how initially exciting but ultimately boring the actual fight ended up to be.

The Cherry Boy then averted his gaze from Seiko, the... former object of his affection. The sight of her made his heart ache and long for someone else who was like her but wasn't, making him feel guilty for doing so.

Maybe it was for the best that Okamoto wasn't all that into him after all.

So should he abandon his harebrained scheme to get Seiko and Kazuhito "Yankee" Sugata together, like Megumi Minagata suggested?

Not necessarily.

He'd still do it, but this time expecting a more realistic outcome of either heartbreak or a long-delayed hookup between the childhood sweethearts.

Without unrealistic expectations of the Amazon Queen going for the unlikely third option.

It was the least he could do for the alternate universe counterpart of the girl he loved.

***

Things also went back to normal in Class 2B. Somewhat.

"Hey, New-Half (Trans Woman)," called out Kazuhito (who finally decided to not skip classes) to Seiko.

Okamoto shouted, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A NEW-HALF!?" followed by a smack on his face. "Stupid Furyou-kun!"

Then the rest of the class began hooting and hollering at them for "acting like a married couple" who could help Japan with its population slump.

All talk of a potential pair-up or even love triangle between the Cherry Boy and the Amazon Queen faded once the heartthrob Sugata finally came back with his usual "married couple" shenanigans with Okamoto.

"As if Cherry Boy ever had a chance with the Amazon Queen while the Yankee is around!" was probably their shared sentiment of the situation.

They all just presumed Yamamoto was friendzoned (as usual), although they were hedging their bets that he'd score a pity date or two with their Iincho (Class Rep) at least.

"Please, you two! Stop fighting! Math Class is about to start," pleaded the mousy Class Rep in her usual adorable, bespectacled way that made Tomoyuki fall for her back in first year.

However, rather than scheme on how to get Machida and Sugata closer together to make Okamoto jealous enough to cross her Rubicon and confront her childhood friend about her long dormant feelings with him, the Cherry Boy started doodling and writing something else at the back of a dog-eared, beat-up notebook.

He couldn't stop thinking about Akira Kurosawa's Ran.

He wanted to write more about it. Research about its connection with King Lear even though, according to AU Seiko, it was a coincidental comparison made by western (foreign) media at best.

For the first time in a long while, he felt inspired to go after his passion and hobbies rather than try to appeal to the interests of others in a bid to "belong" in a clique or a long-term relationship with a girl.

For the longest time, he had been trying too hard to fit in with his peers. Only the closest people in his life know about his passion for writing and movies.

Like the glasses-wearing neighborhood girl he ended up being best friends with. Or, lately, both versions of Seiko Okamoto.

When he was under the mistaken belief that the only way he could improve on himself was to get a girlfriend rather than the other way around, he tended to ingratiate himself to whomsoever he attempted to woo.

In the case of his first crush Yukari Goto, he started taking the late train and gave her a hand whenever her klutziness or ditziness got her into trouble.

In the case of Aya Fubuki, he went to dates with her in all sorts of restaurants even to the point of maxing out his allowance and trying to find a job to supplement his dates, only for her to deny the dates ever took place.

In the case of Mana Otonashi, he really should've figured out he was just her plaything all along when she made her own mother tell him to stop calling her. How embarrassing.

In the case of Miku Machida, he got told hard regarding his clinginess and unrealistic expectations as a "Nice Guy". Even after that, their friendship persisted mostly because he absorbed her otaku knowledge like a sponge until he was able to decipher the "foreign language" she spoke whenever they were around each other.

Finally, in the case of his universe's Seiko Okamoto, he tried using AU Seiko's sports knowledge to better relate with her, only for it to backfire since this was info from a parallel world and not their world.

No one wonder people treated him like a doormat with no true friends to speak of. He really was a try-hard poser, wasn't he?

He made up for his lack of personality by attempting to incorporate the interests and quirks of others so that they'd like him better. Whether he was making friends or wooing girlfriends.

It was only with AU Seiko that he felt he could be himself and showcase the cinemaphile nut and wannabe writer he really was. No other woman made him feel comfortable in his skin like she did.

***

As the Cherry Boy put in the finishing touches to the outline of his new personal passion project (researching about what happened to his universe's Ran and writing his own version of the unfinished work with what little info he'd gotten from AU Seiko so far), he found a letter in his bag.

Curious. Who even gave out letters in this day and age of cellphones, email, and chatrooms?

Although it would've been charming if he and AU Okamoto were communicating through transdimensional mailboxes rather than transdimensional keitai (mobile phones). Just like in the South Korean film "Il Mare" (also known as "Siworae") or its Hollywood remake, "The Lake House".

He opened the envelope and then was greeted with the smell of a long-forgotten flowery scent.

He read its contents. The more he read, the more his heart sank to the pit of his stomach. Probably drowning in stomach acid to boot.

Oh shit. Not this again.

Tomoyuki hastily stuffed the letter in his bag, unwilling to humiliate himself in front of Class 2B by cluelessly reading the letter in front of them.

His traumatic experience with Yukari Goto and her mistaken love text to him that was meant for Kazuhito Sugata was still fresh in his mind. Even after all this time.

Speaking of which, Goto's best friend Aya Fubuki was the one who sent him the letter.

The same type of letters she used to slip into his bag or shoe locker when they were freshmen.

The letters she denied giving to him when he confronted her about the dates she swore they never had.

Yeah, he was still kind of sore about that.

What was going on? What was she trying to do?

Miku noticed him and the letter he hid. She was about to ask him about it, but he gave her a begging look to keep things to herself.

Thankfully, his best friend took the hint and turned her attention back to her notebook full of her own doujinshi (self-published fan comics) ideas.

Had she called attention to the letter so that the likes of Matsuda were to read it to the class, the Cherry Boy would've gotten a repeat of the embarrassment he suffered with Yukari that led to him getting his infamous moniker.

He could just imagine the jaw-jacking his classmates would give him right now.

'Oooh! Is that a love letter? Did Cherry Boy get a love letter from the Class 2C Iincho? MASAKA (IMPOSSIBLE)!'

'Hey, hey! Is our own cute li'l Cherry Boy forming his own harem just like his idol, Sugata?'

'Don't be absurd. That's Fubuki from Class 2C. The same girl who publicly called him out on spreading false rumors of them dating. There's no way she'd date that liar's ass now!'

'What is with him and all the class reps he keeps going after? Does he have an iincho fetish or something? He even tried stalking our dear Seito Kaicho (Student Body President) through harassing phone calls!'

'He's such a desperate loser I bet the letter is telling him to leave Fubuki alone!'

Naturally, the last one to speak would've been Matsuda. Still the asshole as always, but he was an asshole with a point.

He sighed. He should let sleeping dogs lie. Leave the mercurial (and probably bipolar) Aya to her own devices. However, maybe she sent him the "love" letter to apologize for her forgetting about the dates they had.

...Yeah right. As if that would ever happen. She at best tolerated him and as little as a few days ago, she hated his guts.

Still, he was curious as to why Fubuki would send him such a letter. Knowing what he knew about her now (as if it was the first time he'd ever met her), it seemed... out of character for her to do this.

Wouldn't she confront him rather than send him a letter? Then again, she couldn't even muster the courage to send Kazuhito himself a love letter, so how much less him?

But Tomoyuki wasn't Sugata though. She'd have no reason to be embarrassed about him. She made it abundantly clear she never had any feelings for him.

'Oh, and I'm supposed to believe that some desperate jerk I barely interacted with who spread rumors that I'm dating him is telling me that Sugata-kun is dating Miku-chan, his latest girlfriend prospect, out of the kindness of his heart? Reeeally now?' was the sentiment she had when Tomoyuki first told him about the Yankee and the Class 2B Rep.

She trusted him as far as she could throw him. They made up eventually when he took a bullet for her, but they at best had a tenuous "acquaintanceship" that could break at the slightest hint of betrayal.

She didn't trust him. She acted like she barely knew him, despite all their dates that she would not acknowledge ever existed.

In fact, Yamamoto was starting to believe that Aya really didn't date him, making him doubt that the dates he had with her were real.

It almost reminded him of his initial situation with AU Seiko, with her calling and confessing her love for him while the real Seiko (correctly) claimed she herself never called him.

What if they—Tomoyuki and Fubuki—were both right? What if he had dates with an alternate universe version of the Class 2C Iincho while the in-universe Aya got the blowback from their rumored budding relationship?

What if he was dating the AU version of Aya all along?

Hell, he should be writing about this plot twist instead of making a script treatment of Ran, to be honest.

Inwardly, he waved the suggestion off, rationalizing that the parallel worlds thing didn't work that way. His heart skipped a beat at the prospect of dating AU Okamoto in the flesh, though.

He'd love it if he could actually figure out how the AU thing really worked.

Nevertheless, his curiosity got the better of him as he decided to meet up on the indicated time and place on the letter after school.

Appearances aside, this was obviously no love letter situation like with Sugata. It wasn't as if Aya was off to confess her love to him or anything.

***

After class, in a meeting place only Tomoyuki and Aya knew about (the Peninsula Bar where they once had Mongolian Barbecue)...

"...I apologize for lying about our dates to our classmates. I was so embarrassed that they found out that I threw you under the bus. If you would be so kind, would you go out with me again?"

That was just about the last thing Yamamoto expected Fubuki to tell him.

But she really did it. She really told him that. The absolute madwoman.

While bowing in apology, no less.

What was going on? Was she high? Was this what Miku meant by tsundere? An insane girl who had the most extreme mood swings possible? 'Bitches be crazy!'

"Wait, wait, wait. Let me get things straight. You intentionally lied to everyone about our dates and now you're asking for another date? And aren't you after Sugata instead of me?" he asked.

"Sugata already rejected me. That ship has sailed." Aya brushed her hair to the side and looked away from Tomoyuki's gaze before bowing her head and looking up at his face with doe eyes. "A-Are you mad at me?"

Unbelievable. It was like he was talking to another person altogether.

Didn't she cheer him on when it came to wooing Seiko and whatnot? What happened to that Aya? Did she forget or was she testing his resolve somehow?

Maybe that AU Aya theory of his wasn't so far off after all. Or maybe it was more of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of scenario.

Was this really the same Aya that AU Seiko described as "earnest"?

Tomoyuki paced around, took a deep breath, and exhaled. He'd handle this like an adult.

"Yeah, I'm upset. But I also realize if you're ashamed to even admit that we dated, then maybe you're not all that into me after all. You did me a favor. You helped me stop acting so desperate for love all this time."

Aya tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. "W-What do you mean, Yamamoto-kun? Won't you forgive me at all? Can't we make things work out?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

It was his turn to bow back to Fubuki, remembering how she cheered him on, telling him to go big or go home with wooing Seiko Okamoto.

To no longer be so clingy and halfhearted with his pursuit of girl crushes like in the cases of Yukari, herself, Mana, and Miku. To no longer serve as any girl's doormat.

If she were testing him and his resolve, then this was his answer.

"I accept your apology, Fubuki. But I have to apologize myself. I'm in love with someone else."

He had to be completely honest. Like AU Seiko said, Aya was an earnest kind of girl who responded to actions instead of words and empty promises.

***

He didn't know what to expect after "rejecting" Aya's proposal to date again.

A shrug and a pat on the back on the back would be nice.

He didn't really think she'd take it so badly. After all, she survived Sugata's rejection fine.

Also, he knew she didn't really love him all that much and she had a bigger crush on the Yankee than she ever did him.

So why the heck was she crying?

"H-Hey, calm down!" Tomoyuki said, only to flinch when Aya looked at him with fire from her red eyes. Ah, now this was more like the Class 2C Iincho he knew and "loved" (or rather, tolerated).

She didn't heed his request though, covering her face with her hands and sobbing from behind them.

Well, this was definitely a first for Yamamoto.

Usually, he was the one who felt like crying, being dumped repeatedly by all his pretty not-girlfriends (because according to Matsuda, his standards were unrealistically high for a nondescript guy).

"...W-Was it Seiko? Your class rep? The one that you confessed your love to and I recorded?" she sobbed.

That was weird phrasing. "My class rep Miku friendzoned me a long time ago. Also, didn't you play that recording on Seiko's behalf?"

"Oh right. The recording. That's what I meant. Seiko. The Amazon Queen."

She blinked her tears back and did an inquisitive head-tilt on the Cherry Boy.

"You're in love with the Amazon Queen? You don't have a chance. She's joined to the hip with your Yankee classmate!"

"Sh-Shut up," he said, crossing his arms and turning away. His heart not as indignant as he let on.

Speak of the (she-)devil, Tomoyuki turned his head in time to meet the eyes of Seiko, drinking water across the table away from them.

Eh?

She had the "clever disguise" of wearing shades and a baseball cap indoors. She looked more suspicious than if she didn't have the disguise.

The Amazon Queen then choked on her glass of water and turned away, hiding her face with the menu.

...Wait. What?

***

To stop Aya from crying any further, Tomoyuki appeased her by buying her a late lunch (or was it an early dinner?) that afternoon at the restaurant with what extra cash he made from his part-time job at a convenience store.

He then excused himself to go to the bathroom, eyeing Seiko all the while from behind Aya's back.

To his relief, the Amazon Queen took the hint and soon followed after him rather than wait for him to confront her at her table.

She was quick on the uptake.

"...What are you doing here?" he asked at the hallway leading to the doors to the restrooms.

"I should ask you the same question!" she ping-ponged his question back at him.

"...Aya gave me a letter in my bag, telling me to come here and stuff," he said, his eyes darting away at the taller girl. "What about you?"

"Miku-chin gave me a letter addressed to me, telling me to come here."

"Machida told you about this... meeting?" he asked before wincing at the look Seiko gave him over his own weird phrasing.

"No, the letter is from... Aya, apparently. But Miku got it from her."

"That's... weird. Did Machida read it too?"

"I dunno, Cherry Boy. She just gave it to me because it had my name on it."

"What's the letter doing with her?" Tomoyuki asked. "Did Fubuki want Machida to know about the meeting too? What did the letter say?"

"The letter told me to meet y'all here. I couldn't understand the directions, so I just moseyed along and followed you all the way to this restaurant instead."

"So you stalked me?" Tomoyuki teased Seiko, forgetting for a minute who he was talking to. Her voice reminding him of... someone else from another world.

"'AS IF', YOU IDIOT! Don't flatter yourself!"

Forgetting for a minute who she was talking to as well, the Amazon Queen gut-punched the Cherry Boy as though he were Kazuhito Sugata instead.

"Whoops. Sorry. My hand slipped."

The two stared at each other for a minute then laughed.

Afterwards, Tomoyuki ended up with a coughing fit and Seiko had to slap his back several times to help him recover.

"T-Thanks."

"S'alright. But seriously though, why are you on a date with Aya-chin?"

"Wait, when did this turn into a date? She asked me to come here to tell me something!"

"But you're feeding her right now and she just asked you out." She pointed to her ear. "I overheard."

Yamamoto crossed his arms and smirked. "Ha! Finally, I got a witness. Told'ya we dated! See what I have put up with last year? It was her word against mine that we dated!"

"You really dated?" Seiko couldn't help but repeat. "Oh yeah. That's right. You got a horrible rep because Aya-chin told everyone you were spreading bad rumors about her."

"RIGHT? You just saw Fubuki confess to me and you still don't believe it!" he ranted.

Biting her lip, Okamoto looked at him then at Aya from across the table, eating by herself.

"I dunno, Cherry Boy. She must've had a reason for doing this. Otherwise, this is quite unlike her." She appended, "B-But don't misunderstand! I didn't believe you were spreading lies about her either! Why else would I be friends with you? I just think this is all a big misunderstanding."

He'd normally storm off at this point, having people believe Fubuki over him, but this time around he was inclined to agree.

Unless her tsundere inclinations bordered on being clinically bipolar, the Aya who played his confession to Seiko via cellphone voice recorder was not the same Fubuki whom he suspected gave Okamoto and Machida the heads up on their non-date to ruin their perception of him.

Then, to Tomoyuki's surprise, the Amazon Queen suggested, "Y'know what? Why don't you go on a date with her today anyway?"

"WHAT? Are you crazy? I told her I already have my eyes for someone else!"

Yamamoto looked Seiko in the eyes as he said this, which made both of them look away from each other, blushing afterwards.

Seiko cleared her throat. "No, no. It's not a date-date. Just a fake date to see what Aya-chin is up to."

"A-Are you serious?" asked Tomoyuki. He didn't like where this was going.

***

By the time he returned to their table, Aya had the strangest, hugest (smuggest) grin on her face.

Did she know that Seiko was there, watching them? 'What are you planning, Fubuki?' thought Tomoyuki.

He didn't want to keep up a facade just to ruin Seiko's positive impression of one of Machida's friends, but Fubuki ended up cutting him off the pass.

"Hey, hey! After we're done eating, let's go to the arcades like we used to," she told him, and his plan of coming clean ended then and there, the words of protest dying in his throat.

And long story short, they ended up at a nearby arcade, with Okamoto following them close behind.

What was even going on anymore?

'...Eeeeh.'

Under the watchful gaze of Seiko, Tomoyuki ended up doing what he always did in arcades: Play a fighting game and die at the third stage.

"Dammit," Yamamoto said after the CPU King hit another 10-hit combo on his Eddie Gordo from Tekken insert-sequel-number-here.

So much for Eddie working against even experienced players with just button mashing. The computer A.I. couldn't care less.

Same thing happened with an old Street Fighter III: Third Strike arcade cabinet at the back. Got knocked out fighting Sean with Akuma. He then popped a blister on his left middle finger from jiggling the joystick while mashing buttons all the while.

The only fighting game he could probably beat was Karate Do on the Famicom, and that game sucked. Or Yie Ar Kung Fu. Which also sucked.

By the way, those were games in old cartridges that he got as hand- me-downs from his cousins along with an old Family Computer.

He expected Aya to fare worse than him, only for his ego to take an even worse beating than the characters he played in Tekken and Street Fighter.

Aya had a crowd form behind her as she crushed every challenger she faced off against in Tekken with just one quarter.

Well damn. Who knew that the studious Class Rep of Class 2C was an avid gamer?

Meanwhile, on her part, Seiko decided to bide her time with Dance Dance Revolution. Followed by foozball against a grade schooler. Followed by attempting to wreck the mechanical punch pad on the Sonic Blast Man (a game that measured punching power) cabinet.

Huh. He could've sworn he heard that Taito recalled all cabinets of the punching game due to the injuries it caused or something. Or maybe that was just him misremembering/getting false memories care of the Mandela Effect.

Or maybe it was even possible that in AU Seiko's universe, the game was recalled even though in his own universe, it wasn't. 'Who knows?'

A bead of sweat dripped on Tomoyuki's forehead as Okamoto wandered to a nearby billiards hall just beside the arcade, seemingly forgetting herself and why she went to the arcade in the first place.

'S-Seiko-chan...'

Speaking of people forgetting themselves, Aya stopped her winning streak short, handed her character off to some kid in the crowd to let him play, and grabbed hold of Yamamoto's arm.

Tomoyuki gulped, distracted by the smoothness of the 2C Iincho's skin and the softness of her... chest. "Um, welcome back?"

"Hey, hey! Cherry... I mean, Yamamoto-kun!" she corrected herself, her finger circling around the Cherry Boy's chest. "Can you win me a prize at the claw machine? Pretty please?"

"Er... I-I'll try," Yamamoto said, knowing that he'd fail. Still wondering what Aya's "deal" was.

As he predicted, he was terrible at the claw machine game. Unable to pick up one stuffed bunny or even a Doraemon. It'd be cheaper to buy the doll at a gift shop rather than pick it up through crane.

In the background, Aya cheered him on.

He had doubts in regards to the sincerity of her cheering in light of her betrayal of him, but it sure harkened back to their own dates where she'd do the same thing.

So he kept buying quarters. And trying. And failing. But he had a girl cheering him on, so he didn't mind losing so much.

"You can do it, Yamamoto-kun! Just like ol' times!" Aya told him.

'Ol' times...?' he thought.

From there, the Cherry Boy blinked and remembered how one of their first dates had played out like this.

With him attempting and never getting a doll and Aya (currently the Student Council VP but was once the Student Council Treasurer) laughing at him all the while.

"Oh, for the love of Kami-sama! LET ME, CHERRY BOY!" huffed a reddened, cap-wearing, and shades-sporting Seiko before taking the crane controls and picking up the Doraemon doll herself.

"...." Tomoyuki exclaimed. Silently.

The Amazon Queen handed the doll to Aya, only to realize too late what she'd done. "Er..."

Fubuki bowed at Seiko and said, "Thanks for the help, but I want my date to get me a dolly. Not you, Mister."

"...M-Mister!?" said the tall Amazon Queen with a sneer, her hand cocked back as if to slap the Class 2C Iincho.

"Uh, of course! Coming right up, Fubuki!" said Tomoyuki, who inserted another token only to waste it again by losing immediately. "Dammit."

Unable to help herself, the "disguised" Seiko got a hold of Yamamoto's hands and instructed him how to play the crane game.

"Now listen carefully, Cherry Boy. First, pick your target carefully. You've already played enough to get a feel of the claw, right?"

She then touched his hand, the softness of which surprised him, as she told him, "Try maneuvering the prize into a better position. This machine gives you enough time to position the claw, so take your time."

Tomoyuki gulped as the taller girl got too close to him. The smell of shampoo on her hair and the softness of her hands distracting him. Electrifying him.

Making him long for the softness of another her. A more "untouchable" version of her. From more than just far away.

Aya, on her part, put her hands on her waist and tapped her foot at the pair, sighing and clearing her throat loudly.

But they couldn't hear her. At all. As though they were trapped in another world. Their own universe. With no parallel universe versions of themselves to worry about.

"THERE! Right there, Cherry Boy!" said the Amazon Queen with her heaving chest cushioning Yamamoto's back like a chair's backrest. "Take it! Take it now! It's all yours, baby! Take 'em all!"

They soon formed a crowd of their own, with the guys and the girls blushing at the whole exchange.

Thanks to Seiko's teachings, Tomoyuki got to snag a whole bunch of plush toys in one go. He was about to deliver them en masse unto the slot when he noticed all the eyes on him and how suggestive the Amazon Queen looked with the way she helped wriggle his... joystick.

"AAAH!"

"Hey! Watch out! EEEEK! WATCH IT! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"

There was a crisp slap followed by profuse apologies.

Yamamoto's hand slipped right into Seiko's chest in true harem protagonist fashion, which led to a reflexive, "BAKA FURYOU-KUN (STUPID YANKEE)!" and predictable violence from the Amazon Queen.

"I'm sorry! It's an accident! AN ACCIDENT! OWIE!"

"Ah! Cherry Boy! Sorry! Did I hit you too hard?"

From there, the whole bunch of the stuff toys fell back into the bin rather than out the claw machine's slot.

All except one: An ugly-cute cartoon snail doll that had its tag snagged by the tip of the claw at the last second.

Tomoyuki's reddened face (due to Seiko's handprint on his cheek) turned pale blue in realization. He screwed up in the middle of showing off!

'...Eh? Wait a minute, why was I showing off anyway? And in front of Fubuki, of all people!'

Speaking of Fubuki, she took the snail doll he'd gotten for her, frowning in a way that made it look like she'd just tasted something sour. Or maybe bittersweet.

"...Thank you," she told him.

"Uh, no problem," he answered, scratching his cheek.

He then caught Aya giving the flustered Amazon Queen a quick glance before she gave him a quick peck on the same cheek he just scratched.

Not knowing what else to do, Tomoyuki turned and faced Seiko, who had a slack-jawed expression on her face.

And in the Cherry Boy's heart of hearts, he found himself hoping that it was jealousy that was written all over Okamoto's face.

Even though earlier, her fit of violence was something she did while remembering her real crush and childhood friend, Kazuhito Sugata.

With the cherubic smile of a fallen angel, Aya then whispered to Tomoyuki, "Come with me. I have one last thing I want to do before we end our date," before holding his hand and leading him out of the arcade... to a chorus of cheers by everyone who witnessed the exchange there.

Stupidly, his mind in a haze like the Cherry Boy that he was after being kissed by a girl, he followed right after Fubuki like a lost dog.

He couldn't stop glancing back at the Amazon Queen though, who had slumped down on the floor with the Doraemon doll in her hand, her cap dropping, revealing her (sexy) disheveled hair.

***

Before Tomoyuki realized what was happening, he found himself in front of a hotel.

A love hotel.

From there, his memory became a blur. A whooshing motion blur from a high-speed roller coaster ride.

He could barely make out any details of what was going on, his body going on autopilot.

This wasn't really happening, wasn't it?

Then they were at the front desk of a hotel.

He then found himself paying for a room on that hotel.

With a girl beside him. A cute girl. A beautiful vision of... beauty with hair as long as the day and black as the night. And legs that went on forever.

Granted, she was a girl with an obnoxious personality (or set of personalities), but she was still pretty. And a girl.

What was he talking about again?

Soon, they ended up on an elevator. Then they went to their room with the number indicated on the room keys.

Was this some sort of elaborate prank by Matsuda again? Damn, that bigheaded jock just wouldn't leave him alone, would he?

Wow, the room looked nice. He'd been in hotel rooms before, but only when he and his parents ended up vacationing on some beach resort or had to take short flights to Hokkaido.

Besides, those were airport or resort hotels. Not love hotels.

Did he mention he was staying in a hotel room with a pretty girl? That was a big "first" for him.

After being turned down flat by several girls, he was now about to... Oh baby.

He gulped, his throat suddenly feeling quite dry.

Realizing the implications of the situation, he sat down on the bed and thought things through.

Could it be? Was he finally about to graduate from being a Cherry Boy to a real man?

Wait, why was he with a pretty girl in a hotel room anyway? That was quite unlike him, the Virgin King of Class 2B.

Tomoyuki Yamamoto ending up in a love hotel sounded like a setup to a joke just short of a punch line.

Oh right, he was on a date with Aya. But why though? Why would any girl date him?

Hey, he wasn't that bad with girls. Sure, in his first year alone, he got rejected by not one, not two, not three, but four girls. All of whom belonged in the so-called Sugata Harem in one way or another.

He was a beggar who was a chooser, after all.

But he improved in the end, didn't he? He made friends with Miku Machida, made amends with both Aya Fubuki and Yukari Goto, and even Student Body President Mana Otonashi had started talking to him again.

He wasn't as awkward around women as he was last year. He graduated from the "Nice Guy" mode of thinking with the help of his best friend Miku.

So it was perfectly fine for him to end up in bed with a girl who originally rejected him, right?

He regrouped. He improved. He evolved. So he... deserved this. Right?

Hell, he even had the audacity to try and woo Sugata's childhood friend and the girl whom he was closest with in his harem, Seiko Okamoto.

He wanted the Amazon Queen so bad that, by fate, serendipity, or coincidence, he ended up with the phone number of her AU self.

That was how he was able to learn all about her. Warts and all. From another her from another universe.

Wait.

What the hell was he doing with Aya Fubuki if he was in love with Seiko Okamoto?

"...."

Oh no. Oh nooo. Oh nononono. Oh Kami-sama, what did he just do? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

His hands gripping his hair almost to the point of pulling them out by their roots, Tomoyuki paced around the nice hotel room. That he paid for.

What kind of a thirsty pervert was he?!

He then remembered the last thing Aya told him before he had his epiphany.

"You stay right there. I'm just going to take a shower."

'AAAAAAHHHHH!' he screamed internally, finally noticing the sound of the running water inside the hotel bathroom.

He could've stopped this at any time. He could've said no. But he didn't, and he'd gone past the threshold of refusal.

The point of no return, perhaps?

Wait, he could leave a note and say he had something to do. Uh, like his part-time job or something.

Maybe flaking out on her wasn't the best-laid plans (of mice and men), but... but... he had no other choice!

Also, why was she suddenly enamored over him after all these months she hated him enough to lie about them dating? Was this how tsundere acted? Seemed kind of psychotic to him!

The worst part was that, even if nothing happened to them in the hotel, the fact that he went in a hotel in the first place with her would probably be enough to ruin his chances with Seiko forever!

He was just about to write his note when he heard knocking on the door. Did Aya order room service? He had no money left for that!

Anyway, fingers crossed, he hoped against hope that Okamoto would believe him when he said that he followed Aya by accident into a love hotel and he had no intention of sleeping with her. Kinda.

And so understandably, he fell to the floor butt-first in surprise when he saw that it was Seiko who was on the other side of the door. Like an actor from Vaudeville doing a slapstick standup (or sit-down) routine.

"I-It's not what it looks like. I can explain..." he started, feeling like an unfaithful husband caught red-handed in a hotel room with his mistress by his wife. Even though he had no reason to think that way.

To his surprise, an unusually quiet Okamoto asked him, "So did you two do it already? Did she pop your cherry, Cherry Boy?"

Well now. Nice to see she was blunt like usual.

She then slapped her forehead and mumbled what sounded like curses to herself before apologizing and saying, "Look, it's none of my business. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I'm sorry for bothering you two lovebirds. I'm also sorry for doubting you when you said that you and Aya-chin used to date. Goes to show what I know, right?"

The contrite Amazon Queen bowed at Tomoyuki and started to leave when, by instinct, the Cherry Boy grabbed hold of her arm and said, "Wait. Don't leave. I'm... I'm actually glad you came."

To his surprise, that actually worked. Seiko stayed.

She walked back to the doorway as he noticed for the first time her cap that hid her head full of hair that was usually tied in a ponytail.

She looked positively tomboyish. Heart-achingly so.

"I... I just happened to follow Fubuki back to this hotel," was the explanation he came up with in short notice.

Goddamn, that sounded so stupid. Even though it was true.

He also wanted to say he thought it was a prank, but that sounded even more like a lie than what he just said, even though it was also true.

Why was he being so stupid anyway? It was because he was thinking with his dick! That was why! He followed a girl to a hotel room without question like the naive virgin that he was.

"U-huh. Completely by accident, huh?" Seiko couldn't help but smirk.

"I don't know what I was thinking!" Or so he said, although he knew exactly what he was thinking, and so did Okamoto. "But I haven't slept with Fubuki. At all. Nor do I have any intention to do so."

"Well, why not? This is your big chance, Cherry Boy," Seiko brought up his nickname for emphasis.

"B-Because, like I told her, I'm already in love with someone," he said, his eyes never leaving hers. Unafraid of the implications behind his words.

"So you went to a hotel room with her and paid for it?" was the retort that he waited for Seiko to shoot back at him, but she never said it.

Instead, she stared back him and nodded. "You'd break Miku-chin's heart if you went through with this."

Ugh. Not this again. "No, I'm not in love with Machida! I'm in love with...!"

He then slammed the door in front of the Amazon Queen's face by reflex when he heard the bathroom door open.

AHHH! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

And out came Aya, her skin glowing, her long hair sopping wet, her naked body wrapped in nothing but a towel. A rather short towel, at that.

He ended up with his back against the door, his eyes staring at everything else but Fubuki.

He had never seen a cleaner hotel full of fresh sheets, nicely decorated walls, a flat-screen television set, a refrigerator full of overpriced drinks, and a nice view of the city.

The bed cushion was soft, the pillows were pure stuffing as well, and even the nearby lamp was nice. It... tied up the whole room.

Nothing too fancy, but not bad. It was worth whatever it was that he paid for it. Maybe.

"I'm done with my shower," Fubuki stated the obvious, cat-smiling and batting her half-lidded eyes at the Cherry Boy, her normal personality pretty much doing a one-eighty.

"W-We shouldn't do this," Tomoyuki said, pulling at his collar.

"Do what?" teased the coy Aya, which seemed rather unbecoming of the normally straight-laced Class Rep of Class 2C. "Don't get cold feet on me right now, Yamamoto-kun."

"I-I told you, I'm already in love with someone else!"

"Which is why you followed me all the way to a love hotel and paid for it?" came the retort Yamamoto was waiting for all this time. Fubuki then started playing with her towel. "Maybe I can change your mind...?"

"NOOOOO!"

Not only Yamamoto, but Okamoto screamed that word.

As Aya was about to take off her towel, Tomoyuki attempted to grab it with the intention of putting it back on her.

The door behind him opened, and out (or rather, in) stumbled the Amazon Queen. Right onto the Cherry Boy. Who ended up stumbling himself and accidentally ripping the towel off of Aya's body.

Then, to the chagrin of the pair, they ended up falling on the edge of the bed, making a mess of it, the pillows and bed sheet flying and ending up on the floor along with them.

"EEEEK!" screeched Seiko, grabbing hold of the damp towel in order to cover Tomoyuki's eyes with it. "Don't look, you pervert!" was what the tomboy said even though Aya was the one volunteering to take it off.

"...L-Look, I'm sorry if I led you on! I'm sorry if I came here without thinking! But I mean it when I say I'm in love with someone else!" cried Yamamoto while Okamoto kept pulling the towel over his face and cranking his neck at an odd angle. "OW! Stop that, Amazon Queen!"

However, Seiko suddenly stopped moving, which resulted in the towel slipping from the Cherry Boy's eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, but his curiosity got the better of him, leading him to take a peek.

There stood Aya in all her naked glory. Or she would've had she not been wearing spats (spandex shorts) to cover up her nether regions. She was still topless though.

And yet something seemed missing from this picture. Fubuki's chest was as flat as a board.

Well, that wasn't unusual. Many Japanese girls were flat as boards themselves. Maybe Fubuki wore padded bras?

But then Tomoyuki's eyes went south of the border and saw something else of note.

A noticeable bulge on Aya's spandex shorts.

What?

No. No way.

Maybe her... (ahem) hair down there was unusually thick. Like an untrimmed hedge. Or even a forest. So that would explain the bump or bulge. Right?

'I mean, it can't possibly be... Nah. Of course not.'

Yamamoto then realized that Seiko was looking at the same thing as he was when he glanced back at her.

He saw eyes of wonder, confusion, and terror. She then asked the Cherry Boy, "Is that a bulge in her...?"

And then Aya began laughing. Or rather, cackling. Like an evil overlord about to go on a monologue.

"I would've preferred that you end up in a compromising position with me, but I guess this will have to do, Yamamoto-kun."

"...W-What?" stuttered Yamamoto, not knowing what was going on.

Thusly the two remained stock-still on the bed as the topless, flat- chested, and... spandex-bulging Fubuki retrieved her cellphone from her purse.

That proved to be a mistake.

And so Aya ended up with a digital photo of a disheveled Seiko sitting atop a damp-faced Tomoyuki beside a messy hotel bed that she took with her cellphone camera.

"A-Aya-chin, w-what's going on?" asked the Amazon Queen in a shaky voice.

"Oh, you haven't figured it out yet?" Aya took off her damp wig, revealing the short dry hair underneath it. "I'm not Aya. I'm her brother, Fubuki Akira."

***

Both Seiko and Tomoyuki stayed in the hotel lobby for a bit, staring blankly into the distance, before they both bid their farewells to each other.

Seiko was the first to leave. Tomoyuki told her to go ahead because needed another minute. Or hour.

He called in sick at his part-time work. He knew he couldn't make it there on time. Nor did he feel like working.

After buying a drink and snack from a vending machine, he went back to the empty hotel room (since it was already paid for) to gather his thoughts. Aya... no, Akira... was long gone by then.

Damn. Wasn't that something?

That was the last thing he expected her... him... to say. It seemed like something out of a movie.

Like Dustin Hoffman's character in "Tootsie". Or Ming-Na Wen's character in "Mulan". Or Jaye Davidson's character in "The Crying Game". Or Hillary Swank's character in "Boys Don't Cry".

Hell, that revelation in the end was very Tootsie-ish in its execution.

On that note, he really felt like crying right then and there.

Akira Fubuki, the younger brother of Aya that, Yamamoto realized, was about the same height and build as her, had admitted to "catfishing" the Cherry Boy when he was in first year high school.

Akira didn't like how, as he put it, Tomoyuki was "stalking" and "bothering" his big sister, so he pulled a prank on him to teach him a lesson.

Which, in retrospect, made a lot of sense.

The rumors. The anger Aya had when Yamamoto kept insisting that they had dated and she was lying about them not dating. The way Aya's personality was completely different from the "Aya" he dated.

Even the fact that Miku received the letter addressed to Seiko could also be explained away by Akira mistaking Seiko for Miku after overhearing the name from his sister.

Everything now had a... not-so-simple explanation. But an explanation nonetheless.

To reiterate, Akira Fubuki pretended to be his sister Aya in order to "catfish" Tomoyuki Yamamoto.

Tomoyuki kept repeating that statement inwardly but he still couldn't wrap his mind around it. Seriously, what the hell?

The funny thing was that both the girl Fubuki and Tomoyuki ended up telling the truth after all.

'So let me get things straight,' thought the Cherry Boy while staring at the TV but not really watching the game show that was on.

Akira specifically put on his sister's clothes to impersonate her and go onto dates with Tomoyuki in her stead. This led to the misunderstanding later on that led to a falling out between Yamamoto and the Elder Fubuki.

Or maybe it wasn't a falling out, because technically, Tomoyuki never really met the real Aya until later on. He'd been dating her brother instead under false pretenses.

Akira also took a photo of him and the Amazon Queen in a rather compromising position in order to... what? Make them, or rather make Tomoyuki, suffer further by having blackmail material on him and the Seiko?

Man, Akira really must hate him go through all that trouble to catfish Yamamoto.

...Right?

Granted, his dedication to pranks aside, it was still embarrassing for Akira to go into drag and pretend to be a girl just to embarrass the Cherry Boy with his big reveal in the hotel.

They must've gone through so many dates. They were so many, in fact, that Yamamoto lost count. He had enough dates with Aya (actually Akira) to presume that they were now boyfriend and girlfriend.

But why did he do it? What the hell did the Cherry Boy do to deserve Akira's wrath and his methodical revenge plot in the first place?

Now that was the million-yen question.

The Friend Zone King couldn't quite buy Akira's excuse that his crossdressing was all for the sake of protecting his sister from him.

Why didn't Akira just allow Aya to reject Tomoyuki outright? Why go through all this trouble?

Come to think of it, didn't Akira already get what he wanted out of Yamamoto last year? The crossdresser ended up making his sister hate the Cherry Boy's guts by impersonating her and going on false dates with him.

What prompted the male Fubuki to bother Tomoyuki again after all this time?

And then it hit the Yamamoto. Of course.

Tomoyuki recently made up with Aya (sort of) when he prevented her from making that ill-timed love confession to Kazuhito Sugata.

Her jealous li'l brother with a siscon (Sister Complex) must've arranged this little revelation at the hotel to destroy the mended fences between Yamamoto and the female Fubuki.

But that backfired and Akira ended up taking the blackmail photograph of Yamamoto and Okamoto as a consolation prize.

Regardless, the twerp got him. He got him hook, line, and sinker.

***

Although Tomoyuki didn't feel like going back to school that Friday, he still went.

Might as well. He wasn't going to solve this mystery staring slack- jawed at his room's ceiling, feeling sorry for himself.

Seiko herself couldn't even look him in the eye that morning, but he didn't let the fact hurt his feelings or anything. He completely understood.

That night they had at the hotel was awkward for everyone involved.

The long weekend that would've let him sort his thoughts and feelings out aside, he had several important things to do that day.

Like apologize to Akira's sister, Aya.

'First thing's first.' He went straight to the entrance of Class-2C, waited for (the real) Aya Fubuki (and her "sidekick" Yukari Goto) to arrive, and bowed down to Aya in apology.

Oh boy, did he get the wrong impression of her. She really wasn't at fault at all for the dating rumors spread about him and her.

Neither was Tomoyuki, but at least now he knew the truth. They were both right about the situation in certain points of view.

The ever-cynical Aya pulled Tomoyuki aside and asked, "Did something happen? What's up with you?"

"I just wanted to apologize," Tomoyuki said, shrugging and avoiding her gaze. "I know I've been doing that a lot lately so it might sound shallow coming from me, but... I really am sorry."

Fubuki then crossed her arms and prodded, "...And?"

Yamamoto cleared his throat. "I was wondering if you know the classroom number of your brother, Akira."

The Class 2C Rep held herself, her arms folded tightly around her chest and wrinkled her nose at the Cherry Boy. "Why?"

"I just want to talk to him, okay?" he said, not knowing (or willing) to broach the subject of catfishing and crossdressing with Akira's big sister.

"But you've never even met..." Aya's eyes widened. "Oh no."

Shit. Did she realize the truth? Did Yamamoto let the cat out of the bag? Would Akira in turn send that compromising photo of him and Seiko to the whole school? Or to Sugata?

Fubuki then unfolded her arms, sighed, and said, "Look, I'll talk to my li'l bro. If he threatened you in any way after seeing that we've mended fences, then I have to apologize on his behalf. He's very protective of me. Please understand."

"I-It's nothing like that, I just want to talk to him!" Tomoyuki protested with a sigh (of relief) of his own before a little birdie in the form of Yukari blabbed, "Well, if that's the case, then Akira-kun belongs to Section 1A."

"...YUKARI-CHAN!" screeched Aya before pulling at the ditzy blonde's twin tails hard.

"OWIE! I'm sowie, Aya-chan!" cried the ditz, reasoning, "But Cherry-kun only wanted to talk to your bro! What's the harm in that?"

"Class 1A, huh?" said the Cherry Boy, scratching his chin. "Right. I guess I'll go talk to him then. Thanks, Goto!"

"Waaait, what for? What did he say to you?" insisted Aya, who began to look more like the Aya of old with her frown and glare.

Tomoyuki raised his arms in surrender and backpedaled. "Nothing bad! I promise! I just want to clear the air with Fubuki Akira! It's not like we're going to end up in a fist fight or something...!'

Serendipitously, Yamamoto ended up literally bumping into his classmate, the Judo Club President and one of the Four Kings of Class 2B, Kanemoto.

Yep. Matsuda's friend Kanemoto. Or Matsuda #2. Or the bishonen (pretty boy) version of Matsuda. That Kanemoto.

"...Fubuki Akira? You're looking for Fubuki Akira? Hahaha! Cherry Boy, are you off to have a rematch with him?" Kanemoto asked, overhearing their conversation.

Yamamoto would've just cowered away from one of his regular bullies had he not taken a double-take at what the Judo Club President said. "Uh, rematch? W-What are you talking about Kanemoto?"

The sneering jock nudged Yamamoto's side. "Aw, come on. Don't be coy. You two got in a slap fight over me back in junior high. You wanted first dibs over yours truly and Fubuki Akira was your love rival."

Tomoyuki stuttered, "W-What the heck are you...?" before he felt a chill in his spine.

"Yamamoto-kun! You're going to have a fist fight over my li'l brother!?"

"AH! Aya-chan! I mean, Fubuki! Of course, I'm not! Don't believe Kanemoto's lies...!" so he said, but a feeling of déjà vu hit him.

And so the puzzle pieces in his mind began to fit. He remembered who Akira was.

This wasn't the first time they met, and he wasn't referring to their fake dates.

***

By some miracle, Tomoyuki Yamamoto got away from Akira Fubuki's protective sister in one piece.

Yamamoto guessed that his wimpy demeanor in the face of Kanemoto's "outlandish" accusations let him off the hook.

For the first time, Aya gave Tomoyuki the benefit of the doubt. She probably reasoned, "Why would the bullied Cherry Boy ever start a fist fight with my li'l bro?"

Ironically, the one time she trusted him was the one time she shouldn't have.

Kanemoto was right. Yamamoto did fight the younger Fubuki brother. And it was over the infamous jock.

No, not because they wanted to win Kanemoto's heart (or at least, as far as Yamamoto was concerned, that wasn't the case).

This stain in Tomoyuki's past was part of the reason why he believed that he completely deserved most of the bullying done to him all this time.

***

To Be Continued...

It's a trap! The trap arc is almost over with. What else is in store for Yamamoto and his Non-Harem? Stay "tuned"!

Farewell, Abdiel

#catfishing #trap #it's a trap #finds a way #keit-ai #keit愛 #tomoyuki x seiko

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nickarmstrongfilm · 6 years

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OCTOBER 2018: AN EXERCISE IN EXCESS & A HORROR DIARY

Carrie (dir. Brian De Palma, 1976)*

The Rage: Carrie 2 (dir. Katt Shea, 1999)

Duel (dir. Steven Spielberg, 1971)

Pulse (dir. Jim Sonzero, 2006)* For all intents and purposes, I don’t think this movie was at all necessary — what Kurosawa pulled off with the original Pulse was nothing short of miraculous in its terror, melancholy and study of society… but I must admit that the idea of a group of people watching that film and translating it into a mid-2000s American tech-horror movie (aesthetic and all) is highly appealing to me. It’s fun! It’s dumb! Kiyoshi already mastered it so I can’t really get mad at this.

Daphne & Velma (dir. Suzi Yoonessi, 2018) Wholesome live-action Scooby-Doo spinoff with women at the helm, and is about as fun and nostalgic as anything I’ve seen related to Scooby-Doo. Lots of Halloween-y fun!

Captain Voyeur (dir. John Carpenter, 1969) Had been dying to get my hands on this for a long time, so it was lots of fun to finally see it (and complete Carpenter’s filmography!). It’s short and slight and very noticeably Carpenter. He improves on all aspects of this in his amazing career, but this is an inspiring artifact nonetheless.

The Crazies (dir. George A. Romero, 1973)

Something Evil (dir. Steven Spielberg, 1972)

Tales from the Hood (dir. Rusty Cundieff, 1995)*

Uncle Sam (dir. William Lustig, 1996) Anti-American slasher where the villain is a zombie soldier named Sam who dresses up as *the* Uncle Sam. I think that is praise enough.

Hell Fest (dir. Gregory Plotkin, 2018) This one has really grown on me over the month, especially as it inspired me to rewatch The Funhouse, which in turn inspired me the finally read the novelization of The Funhouse by Dean Koontz. As much as I was initially underwhelmed and annoyed by certain aspects of the film, the concept is terrific and it really plays into the uncertainty of the theme park’s dangers for impressively long stretches of time. Mostly dumb but also very fun.

Tales from the Hood 2 (dir. Rusty Cundieff & Darin Scott, 2018) Not even close to as impactful or consistent as the original, and my fear that this was co-directed by Cundieff and co-writer of the original Darin Scott actually turned out to be reasonable, because the two segments he directed are noticeably worse, but it remains passionate and blunt in its manipulation of genre tropes to suit the subject matter. Keith David murders it in the wraparound, and the closing short “The Sacrifice” is deeply powerful.

Stay Alive (dir. William Brent Bell, 2006)

Slice (dir. Austin Vesely, 2018)

Drag Me to Hell (dir. Sam Raimi, 2009)*

The Vagrant (dir. Chris Walas, 1992)

Venom (dir. Ruben Fleischer, 2018)

Dracula 3D (dir. Dario Argento, 2012) Argento’s rendition of the age-old Dracula tale is the umpteenth adaptation of the story, and while it doesn’t appear to make many changes to the narrative, I have to give credit to his formal experimentation — it strikes me as an admirable case of retrofuturism, as he uses the most modern digital filmmaking (I would love to see this in actual 3D) to tell one of the oldest tales imaginable. Lots to discover here, I think, but I really liked it!

Sleepwalkers (dir. Mick Garris, 1992)

The Black Cat (dir. Edward G. Ulmer, 1934)

Parasomnia (dir. William Malone, 2008) William Malone is one of the most underrated figures in horror, and while I can’t fully get behind this one — frankly, I’m unsure of whether it criticizes or endorses its imbecilic male character, who fetishizes a “sleeping beauty” — but his highly unique, Kiyoshi Kurosawa-esque aesthetic shines through in many moments, notably its dream sequences.

Hellraiser (dir. Clive Barker, 1987)*

Crazy As Hell (dir. Eriq La Salle, 2002) Kind of overlong, but cut down it could be a very serviceable series of predictable twists and turns that examine ethics in journalism and hospital institutions.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (dir. Tony Randel, 1988)

Sorority House Massacre (dir. Carol Frank, 1986) Understandable to be deemed a Halloween ripoff, but it places a deeper focus on friendships and beats the rest of the Halloween series to a sense of psychic kinship which pushes this above being a fairly standard slasher. This is fun!

Soft for Digging (dir. J.T. Petty, 2001) I often think about, from experience, how making your student film silent is a smart but played-out trick to make it feel less cheap… nothing about this really sticks with me, but its lead performance is compelling and the atmosphere is strong at times.

Ganja & Hess (dir. Bill Gunn, 1973)* Just one of the greatest American films of all time, such a layered and nuanced take on the vampire subgenre. I don’t know what else to write except that Bill Gunn was one of the great filmmakers of all time.

Scary Movie 5 (dir. Malcolm D. Lee, 2013) Inarguably the least offensive of the series (a flawed series that I happen to love) and a very pure, frequently funny parody that director Malcolm D. Lee brings a whole lot to — and is as quietly incisive about the genre as some of the best entries are. The best one since the Wayans left.

Bones (dir. Ernest R. Dickerson, 2001)*

J.D.’s Revenge (dir. Arthur Marks, 1976)

We’re Going to Eat You (dir. Tsui Hark, 1980)

Ghost in the Machine (dir. Rachel Talalay, 1993) Incredible technology-focused Nightmare on Elm Street/Shocker hybrid made by the woman responsible for one of the very best Elm Streets. The effects, both practical and digital, are stunning in their own ways, and it’s just so much fun!

Aftershock (dir. Nicolás López, 2012) This feels like exactly how people see Roth’s Hostel, which makes me wonder why he’d take part in this. It is essentially a dumb version of the very smart film he made — which people consistently said was dumb — and he plays one of the assholes in it. This movie is unbearable.

The Funhouse (dir. Tobe Hooper, 1981)* Such an incredible extension of what Hooper examines in his essential Texas Chain Saw Massacre, replacing stumbling into backwoods America with a travelling version of the same horrors. Watching this made me miss writing about Hooper, because each of his works perfects and furthers everything he’s once done. An incredible film that is perhaps the ultimate in self-reflexivity within horror, and one of Hooper’s absolute best.

My Left Eye Sees Ghosts (dir. Johnnie To & Wai Ka-Fai, 2002)

Cat People (dir. Paul Schrader, 1982)* To my mind, this and Tourneur’s original are hard to compare because they perfectly fill each other in — Schrader’s lurid remake dares to show all that Tourneur couldn’t and wouldn’t 40 years later, which makes this a pretty ideal remake!

The Ambulance (dir. Larry Cohen, 1990) Another excellent entry in Cohen’s endeavor to turn the familiar into the horrifying, which I always appreciate as an attempt to alter the public’s perception of basic institutions. Very fun and intelligent.

Gothika (dir. Mathieu Kassovitz, 2003) Not unlike this year’s terrific Unsane in its examination of how all institutions are run by the amoral, and how innocent people are manipulated, victimized and gaslit. Has that ‘00s horror aesthetic I love (this comes from Dark Castle Entertainment, whose horror output I find thoroughly underrated) complete with Limp Bizkit’s cover of Behind Blue Eyes playing over the credits. Underrated and relevant.

Dark Angel: The Ascent (dir. Linda Hassani, 1994) At once a wholesome rom-com, righteous horror picture and an intelligent take on theology.

Love Massacre (dir. Patrick Tam, 1981) This is deliberately barren visually, making the splashes of blue and red all the more powerful when they come — its constant manipulation of genre and colour mesh perfectly with its narrative of violence and entitlement. The only cut that exists has hardcoded white subtitles — in an already very white movie — but for the time being, it actually tends to add to its mystery and minimalism. A masterpiece.

Urban Menace (dir. Albert Pyun, 1999) I’ve never ever ever seen a movie that looks like this — it starts with our narrator (Ice-T, of course) ranting about Urban Renewal and warning our viewers that if you’re easily offended, this movie is decidedly *not for you*. It is not a particularly offensive movie though I would not argue if someone called it a visual atrocity. For argument’s sake, it is not exactly a horror movie, but its intense exposure gives it a very dreamy quality that actually makes it a lot scarier to watch. This movie is probably not good but I fucking love Albert Pyun and I can’t say that I wasn’t in awe of how this was made. Plus it is 1 hour long!

The Card Player (dir. Dario Argento, 2004) Argento’s most blatant satire, this feels like a lampoon of both typical procedurals, as well as the desensitization of the internet age. There aren’t many images in Argento’s oeuvre I like more than a group of police officers cheering and laughing at a game of blackjack with a video of a woman being tortured superimposed over it.

Halloween (dir. David Gordon Green, 2018)* This didn’t work as well for me on a rewatch outside of my first experience at TIFF (full of excitement and yelling) but many of my favorite aspects remain: Laurie’s turn to the typical American defense against trauma (which also manifests in a cat-and-mouse chase in a slasher-proof booby-trapped housed), as well as its use of the sequel’s timing to explore multi-generational trauma, but all of its best ideas are explored with far more character in both Carpenter and Zombie’s iterations.

Lisa, Lisa (dir. Frederick R. Friedel, 1974)

Leprechaun 4: In Space (dir. Brian Trenchard-Smith, 1996) Just the most incredibly off-the-hinges horror franchise there is, especially because the antagonist is anything but scary. I think that the “in space” moniker is the quintessential jump-the-shark move for a franchise, so as stupid and offensive as this movie gets, it truly feels like it is just out of the viewer’s hands and the only responsible thing to do is enjoy the increasingly absurd nature of the films (though I can’t imagine it gets wilder than this).

Leprechaun in the Hood (dir. Rob Spera, 2000) Not only not wild enough to distract me from its horrid nature, but deeply offensive and unexpectedly transphobic (as a major plot point). Not even worth recommending for Ice-T or the Leprechaun smoking weed and rapping.

Hotel (dir. Jessica Hausner, 2004)

Spontaneous Combustion (dir. Tobe Hooper, 1990)* Both Tobe’s superhero movie and his Sirk picture, filled to the brim with bright colors and melodrama that also functions as both a parody and indictment of 50′s paranoia. Another masterpiece from Hooper.

The Return of Swamp Thing (dir. Jim Wynorski, 1989) I love Swamp Thing!! I don’t like this quite as much as Craven’s comic-book gothic romance, but it does lean further into comic-book stylings, and is filled with color and explosions and melodrama!

Chiller (dir. Wes Craven, 1985)

Kaun? (dir. Ram Gopal Varma, 1999) Varma’s use of setting here is so major, eliciting fear and obscurity almost exclusively through camera movements and narrative control. One of the spookiest, most subversive home invasion films I’ve seen (particularly in its exploration of power within the genre). I need to see more Varma.

Fright House (dir. Len Anthony, 1989) Makes absolutely no sense but Ernest Dickerson shoots the heck out of it and in terms of October vibes, it really does the trick.

Faust (dir. F.W. Murnau, 1926)

Reflections of Evil (dir. Damon Packard, 2002) One of the most disgusting and confounding films I’ve ever seen, but how Packard explores the political climates of several different decades, pop culture and capitalism almost exclusively through one man’s foul-mouthed adventures walking through L.A. selling watches is inspiring, especially in its dazzling final sequence. It also explores Spielberg’s immeasurable effect on culture in a way similar to house Spielberg does himself in Ready Player One.

Christine (dir. John Carpenter, 1983)*

Torso (dir. Sergio Martino, 1973)

Scream (dir. Wes Craven, 1996)*

Dracula (dir. Francis Ford Coppola, 1992)*

Nightmare Detective (dir. Shinya Tsukamoto, 2006)

Student Bodies (dir. Mickey Rose, 1981)

Giallo (dir. Dario Argento, 2009) I’m so consistently amazed with how self-reflexive horror auteurs get later on in their careers, as well as by how unwilling audiences who praise their early work are to buy into said work. To hyper-focus on this film’s aesthetic as generic and its violence gratuitous (and the same goes for 2004’s THE CARD PLAYER) is ignoring how painstakingly Argento wrestles with a genre he revolutionized. I mean, our antagonist here is a entitled man who sexualizes violence and whose skin has gone yellow in order to justify his namesake being that of said genre, how much more does he have to spell it out before he can be given credit (instead of using this as an opportunity to, say, jab at Argento for a negative review of the film by saying he is “yellowing with age”, Fangoria…….). Of course, I don’t mean to discredit the film by simplifying it in such a way but that Argento was this obvious in his attempt to self-reflect, it becomes especially evident that he, nor the genre, are taken seriously. I particularly think that this progresses the genre in its equal pathologizing of both parties of its cat-and-mouse game (both portrayed by Brody), ultimately sparing its victim in the end but leaving the originator of her trauma relatively ambiguous. At once, it is obvious that the character Giallo is to blame for his horrific violence, but it never takes the magnifying glass off of the detective character either, nor off of the giallo genre itself. I need to revisit some early Argento because I remember appreciating them for their craft and innovation, but that was much easier to do in the 70s (with regards to the subject matter of other films, at least). What he experiments with in his post-2000 work, however, is even more fascinating to me and will need to be examined.

#horror #october #2018

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millennialsguidetooldmovies-blog · 6 years

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THRONE OF BLOOD (1957)

August 24, 2000 eighteen

William Shakespeare’s play Macbeth has confidently passed the tests of time and culture barriers that have defeated so many literary works ever since humans first started writing things down. While the birth of cinema in the early stages of the 20th Century might have hindered the popularity of theatre, Shakespeare’s plays lived on through various movie versions. Akira Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood (1957) successfully brought the Macbeth story to the newly democratic Republic of Japan via a feudal setting. Through the film’s exploration of assorted universal concepts such as tyranny, treason, and peace, Kurosawa was able to put forth a unifying post-war message that he believed that the people of Japan in 1957 needed to comprehend. Similarly, 400 years prior, Shakespeare used the same concepts, and more, to express his own political views through a stylized work of art known as Macbeth. Even though the two men might have not agreed on everything, their good intentions, methods of reaching a wide audience, and impeccable timing bring about great similarity.

Before diving into the major themes of the play and movie, one must first have a brief understanding of the historical context of the works. Both Shakespeare and Kurosawa lived through rather radical shifts in political power in their respective homelands. By the time Macbeth was written in 1606, the former King of Scotland - James, was ruling all of England. Even though the idea of one single monarch looking over all of England is common in today’s society, back then, James was a man of almost unheard power and potential. He was feared by many and respected by few in the early stages of his kingship. While making frequent ridiculous statements and having a quite violent nature towards religious debates, James also was a great fan of William Shakespeare’s work. He funded a majority of the plays, and also frequently attended the shows. These factors explain a lot of the choices made while writing Macbeth. There are obvious nods to King James, such as the story being set in Scotland, and the presence of the witches, in which the monarch had a strong belief in. There is also a possibility that some of the subtle themes were critiquing the king, who as mentioned before was not always the most popular man in town. Regardless of Shakespeare’s deeper intentions, the sociopolitical context of England in 1606 evidently played a huge role in the creation of Macbeth. Akira Kurosawa also lived through a great transfer of political power. However, in his case, Japan was transitioning from a militant Empire into a democratic state. Therefore, unlike the situation in England, Japan abruptly limited the powers of the monarch and set up a democratic governing system. This sudden change happened in the late 1940s in an attempt to rewrite the wrongs of the Second World War, in which Japan was defeated in a robust way. During the war, the country was exposed to stupendous militaristic ideologies imposed by Emperor Hirohito. While he remained the royal figure in Japan postwar, his powers were decreased tremendously, as the nation moved to a democratic state. As the new constitution of Japan went into effect in 1947, Emperor Hirohito went from a supreme leader to a merely symbolic figure overnight.

While his country was in a liminal stage, Akira Kurosawa took it upon himself to pave a social direction for his people to follow. Much like other great thinkers during times of great change, Akira used his talent to bring peace and social progress. His movies quickly reached immense popularity in Japan, and eventually found recognition in the wider world market. In 1950, Kurosawa became the first ever Oscar Award winner for a foreign film. In a time of abundant anti-Japanese prejudice in the US, his films crossed the cultural barrier and eventually helped normalize Japanese culture in the west. By the time he decided to adapt William Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Japan was already 10 years into the new democratic system, yet the importance of finding a new identity still lingered in the director’s mind. Kurosawa used an Imperial English play set in feudal Japan in order to promote democracy and cultural unity with the west. He achieved his goals by crafting an amazing adaptation of a long known story.

By setting the movie in medieval times, Akira paid homage to the original play, as well as highlighted the universal applicability of the message expressed. For the most part, the adaptation sticks to the original plot. The dialogues are not translated word for word, but the meaning is not often distorted. Any change that was made, was executed on purpose, as Kurosawa prioritized the aspects of the Shakespearean play that he felt were relevant for his version. The Banquo and Macbeth characters retained their key traits in their transformation to generals Miki and Washizu in Throne of Blood. Washizu being an overly ambitious and aggressive person, while Miki showing signs of loyalty and power. Similar to the play, the two warriors bumped into a prophetic character that marked the beginning of the downfall of Washizu’s mental state. He went on to kill the king, and his friend Miki, in a bloody quest to the right to the throne.

Much like the original play, Throne of Blood warned its viewers of the horrors that a tyrant can bring upon his people. Even though the psychology of Macbeth has been talked about and studied for centuries before Kurosawa began his project, the director did not shame away from further exploring this tyrannical mentality. The progression of Washizu’s internal struggle is represented in the film both dramatically and visually. As the story moves along, the actor portraying the protagonist shows clear signs of mental issues. He becomes more jumpy and aggressive and his words lose meaning as he gets lost in the delusionality of the prophecy. The camera also follows him more blatantly. Towards the end of the film, whenever Washizu appears in the frame, he is always centered and made out to be the biggest thing that can be seen. All of his movements are also followed by the camera to demonstrate the importance of everything he does. This visual representation of a tyrant was familiar to Japanese viewers of the time, as they have lived through the rule of Emperor Hirohito. 10 years into the new democratic state, Kurasawa reminded his audience of the horrors that a supreme leader can bring through his adaptation of the Macbeth character.

The audience, however, did not need to be reminded of the importance of peace in a prospering society. Ranging from the post-traumatic stress of the war to the fear of another emerging conflict, the state of Japan was fragile and grateful for the nonguaranteed peace. Similarly to the situation in King James’ England, the liminal stage of Japan was inviting to possible attackers. The shift of political power can often divide and hinder the general strength of a nation. Even the biggest ship in the world is in need of a steady captain. Throne of Blood emphasized the importance of peace a lot more than the play did. Some scenes depict the harmony present inside the walls of various castles. A harmony that is clearly absent in the outside world. As Washizu becomes king and begins to act irrationally, some of the citizens show concern over the state of their leader because of the threat that it brings to their safety. One might even argue that Washizu began his bloody rampage because of the fear of being killed. His form of attacking self-defense was proven to be the wrong choice in the way that the film ended.

The ending of the movie contained the major deviation from the original story. The Macduff character was fully omitted from Throne of Blood. His major deed of killing Macbeth was now shifted onto the citizens of the kingdom. As they realized that Washizu’s prophecy was failing when the forest began attacking them, the people began shooting arrows at him. This scene was both beautiful and painful at the same time. In his New York Times review of the movie, Bosley Crowther praised “the final scene, in which the hero is shot so full of arrows that he looks like a porcupine, it is a pictorial extravagance that provides a conclusive howl”. Arrows were flying at the ever so evading tyrant who struggled to maintain his bloody journey. Washizu screamed “you are all traitors” as he was killed. By including that line into the film, Kurosawa brought about some moral questions. Were the people actual traitors for killing Washizu? Was it wrong to turn against a tyrant? By quickly examining the sociopolitical context of Akira’s life, one can realize that the traitor, in this case, is set out to be the tyrant. The second that he made decisions that benefited him rather than his people, the king committed an act of treason to his country. This was a direct criticism of Emperor Hirohito’s actions during World War II.

When he changed the original ending of Macbeth, Kurosawa highlighted the importance of a limited governing force in order to maintain a peaceful environment that can eventually lead to a fully healed nation. Rather than being killed by the Macduff character, Washizu was murdered by his own people when they realized that he was going to cause their imminent downfall. Basically, by focusing on certain applicable themes from the play paired with the different ending, Kurosawa crafted a story that accentuates the importance of a democratic state. The power of the people is emphasized and is given a great light that Shakespeare’s play lacked. Akira told a 400-year-old European story in a way that it expressed a unifying democratic message that he believed Japan needed at the time.

Overall, the film enhanced the greatness of the original Shakespearean play by adding an intense visual experience. I highly recommend Throne of Blood to anyone interested in foreign cinema.

Genre: Drama

Lenght: 1:51

Modern Comparison: Macbeth (2015)

#film #filmmaking #film reviews #filmisnotdead

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theworstbob · 7 years

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the thing journal, 8.20.2017 - 8.26.2017

in this post: adult world, exodus of venus, lindsay buckingham & christine mcvie, bubblegum, villains, creepy, oh hello!, and angie tribeca

1) Adult World, dir. Scott Coffey: I didn't think Emma Roberts was this good of an actress. Her character in this film is written to be self-involved only because she hasn't seen a lot of the world outside herself, not out of any malice or evil, and it's super hard to play that in a way that's sympathetic, that isn't just "naive idiot" or "narcissistic psychopath," and Emma Roberts always keeps the character grounded with this sweet dumbness. She doesn't seem like a bad person, she seems like an actual 22-year-old who needs to go to Mongolia or have her heart broken or whatever. This was a pretty nifty little film! It's hard to imagine needing to see this in a theatre, but it took good care of the 90 minutes I gave it.

2) Exodus of Venus, by Elizabeth Cook: I'm slowly finding that one of my favorite genres of music is "40+-year-old women cranking out amazing country-ass jams." This, the Alison Krauss joint, and Brandy Clark's release last year have been some of my favorite albums in recent memory. Like, just hearing the experience and soul in every single note is this amazing experience, you can hear how she can take an idea for a song that might otherwise be generic and put just a little touch on it that makes it distinct. Like, the first time through this album, it was both incredibly familiar and unlike anything I'd ever heard before, and that's a really cool quality.

3) Lindsay Buckingham & Christine McVie: Well. I sure listened to this, and it was sure a 40 minute album of songs with a classic rock vibe. I think I might've liked it more if I were in the 18-35 demographic when Fleetwood Mac at the height of their popularity, like, if this was the sort of music I was raised to like, then I would definitely enjoy this album more, because it'd be hitting those nostalgia sweet spots, but while I really fuckin' love Rumours, I'm not so emotionally attached to Rumours-like music that I'm gonna sit down with this album and go, "Ah, takes me back to '82."

4) Bubblegum, by Kevin Devine & the Goddamn Band: So if the fact this is going up on a Monday is any indication, I'm kind of not feeling TTJ in recent weeks. Like, I still wanna watch/listen to the seven things a week, to be sure, but trying to come up with something to say about an album I was mostly chill with is... Not demanding? But I feel like I'm either apologizing for not paying enough attention or saying "this is nice!" and I guess instead of trying to work on it, I'd rather throw in the towel and get better at Link to the Past. Y'all, a sub-two'd a seed that required Aga1 and in which I had to double-dip into T-Rock because the Ice Rod was in pendant Tower of Hera. I don't care if my open mode PB is 1:48 and my standard PB is 1:39, THAT is my PB. But I do wish I could come up with more to say about this album by a long-time real punker that probably has a lot of lyrical depth that I missed out on because I think about other things when I'm on the bus sometimes.

5) Villains, by Queens of the Stone Age: I think I'm still struggling to overcome my expectations for this album. Like, I think I've just listened to "No One Knows" too much, so I sort of always want every Queens of the Stone Age joint to sound like "No One Knows" because I wish every song sounded more like "No One Knows," even the Carly Rae Jepsen ones, and I'm at the stage with this album where I am now aware that this does not sound like "No One Knows" and need to accept that not every album is going to sound like "No One Knows." (Not even Songs for the Deaf, just the one song.)

6) Creepy, dir. Kurosawa Kiyoshi: So okay let's talk about the ending of this Japanese thriller, because I honestly think, if it had ended five minutes before it actually did, it might've been one of my favorite endings of all time. The film itself was this really cool, Hannibal-esque look at this dude who studies serial killers realizing the killer he's searching for is a dude he's had over for dinner. It was a really fun cop drama, but it was also pretty flawed. Some of the plot points required the characters to make very dumb decisions ("I think I'm going to walk into this dude's basement alone with no backup, even though I'm doing research to confirm this man is dangerous! This certainly won't be the last thing I see as an alive person!"), and the villain had a little too much fun with his performance, but it was fun to watch the main dude figure out how deep he was in the shit, and if the film ended with this dude giving a speech about how He Knows Criminals, getting injected with the Mind Control Serum I Guess?, and him being fed a wafer by his wife, that would have been so fucking amazing. That would have taken this film straight from a B to an A-, it would have been such a dark, fucked-up note to end on, and it would have been a perfect bookend to the first scene, where the dude gets shot because he trusts too much. It ends the way it ends, and that ending is kinda enh (WE SPENT TWO HOURS LEARNING THIS DUDE WAS EVIL. YOU DON'T HAVE HIM TALK ABOUT SHOOTING A DOG TWO HOURS INTO THE FILM. GUYS. CALM DOWN), but I'm willing to go headcanon on this. This movie is 1h55m and has one of the most fucked up endings you will ever see. Do not wait for the credits there are no credits what do you mean "scene transition" turn the movie off after she feeds him the wafers

7) Oh, Hello! from John Mulaney & Nick Kroll: "John Mulaney, you have proven to be a talented comic mind, and we want to give you money to make whatever you want." "Whatever I want, eh...?" Like legitimately who thinks of this. Who's just sitting there like, "I wanna make a show about two catty old New Yorkers who hash out a decades-long passive-aggressive friendship LIVE on BROADWAY!" I mean, I'm so happy that this happened, this is a thing which exists that is Very Good, and this is somehow the perfect home for Nick Kroll's love of wearing costumes and doing fun voices, but also what is this wonderful thing.

8) Angie Tribeca s1, cr. Nancy Carell & Steve Carell: So in the season finale, two of the cops are accusing this dude of a murder, and the guy says, "You can't pin that on me!" as he waves away a hand holding a pin that says "murderer," and that this show would make that joke is why it's one of the most beautiful pieces of television to grace my screen in years. It is so gleefully, unapologetically stupid, the sort of stupid that takes an incredible amount of genius to produce, and I love it so, so dearly.

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