#and my city is gonna get hit the hardest when it happens lmao. i think i live near the exact areas where the fault line lies

[protect-namine]

man yesterday there was a magnitude 5 earthquake and we evacuated the building per protocol but tbh I didn't feel a thing 😶

just like all the other times we had an earthquake. but it's not like earthquakes are uncommon here so... I am truly gonna be fucked if/when the Big One happens in my lifetime.

#mine musings #phivolcs is reminding the public once again that the west valley fault is overdue on a big earthquake #and my city is gonna get hit the hardest when it happens lmao. i think i live near the exact areas where the fault line lies #edit: okay i checked the map. i live 8km from the west valley fault #so not directly on the fault but like. that's close enough to the hypothetical epicenter

[retroellie]

Ellie Williams as a mom

Summary: Ellie and Joel daughter!reader as moms <3

A/N: I’m not done with requests but this was in my head so i had to do it :)  Also sorry i haven’t been active, i have literally had no motivation at all lmao. 

Warnings: Mentions of NSFW, mentions of miscarriage (not really but just incase) 

Word count: 1.5K 

- When you found out you were pregnant, oh my lord she was so excited. (Lets just say y’all were planning it so it’s not like the dina situation) 

-You guys keep in on the down low for a minute just so you know your pregnant and your not gonna lose the baby

-It literally eats her up inside cause she wants to show you off

-Once you get past like 3 months, you can’t really hide it anymore so the first person you tell is your dad (Joel) 

-Joel is so happy oml he could cry 

-Than slowly everyone finds out, everyone loved you and ellie so this baby wasn’t just yours it was the community’s 

-Everyone was happy for the two of you 

-Ellie was the most excited though, she loved every single thing about you being pregnant 

-She would caress your belly, giving it soft kisses while you tried to take a nap 

-She would talk to your little belly too<3 

-”Hey kiddo, it’s your mom. Well your other mom, hey i wonder how that would work?? Will they call us both mom.” 

-”You know, you're gonna have the coolest family. You got your Granddaddy Joel, the coolest man ever. You have your momma, just like her daddy the coolest most badass woman you’ll ever meet.” 

-”One day, when you get older. I’m gonna take you to the moon with me and of course your momma’s gonna come with us.”

-Everything you need she gets you, she wants to spoil both of her babies

-She loves seeing you pregnant but she hates the effects it has on you 

-Your really tired all the time, your feet swell up sometimes, and the stomach aches you get 

-Around 4 or 5 months you decide to get the farmhouse, y’all want your own space with each other and the baby 

-Joel’s not really happy about it, he doesn’t want his babygirl to get hurt ya know 

-”You guys can build a little farmhouse here in jackson, you know where there’s protection and your families here.” 

-”Dad, I love it here but we need our own space. I want this kid to grow up independent, you never know what’s going to happen to me and ellie.” 

-Joel can’t fight with you, he just gives in because it’s what you want and he wants you to be happy

-Plus he will most definitely do country boy things there because he’s a whore for a good farm house 

-Moving out was hard for you, you had to say goodbye to your friends even if you do live literally 5 minutes from Jackson plus girl your pregnant; hormones are going crazy 

-The whole town help you guys get situated, imaging that is so cute idc 

-The pregnant sex in the farmhouse hits differently because your horny all the time and ellie just loves how sensitive you are because of the hormones

 -I swear y’all have sex at least 3 times a day

-Morning sex, after breakfast sex, lunch sex, ‘this painting is tiring’ sex, before and after dinner sex, shower sex, before bed sex 

-Maria is definitely planned a baby shower for y’all and she went full on out 

-Obviously babies are born in Jackson often but it’s not every day when the town leader’s niece is having a baby, so it’s huge 

-Joel gave you a crib he made, LORD IMMA CRY WAIT A MINUTE 

-Everyone pitches in to give y’all something 

-You and ellie decorate the nursery together, it’s definitely space themed idc 

-Joel and tommy help too :) Joel helps paint the crib he made with stars and rocket ships 

-It takes 5 days to complete but it’s so worth it

-The walls are painted dark blue with white little stars and your dad helped you make a little planet mobile 

-By the time your 7-8 months you guys are mostly comfortable and happy, the house is almost done and the farm is growing little by little 

-There’s still stuff to do around the house and it bothers you so you're always doing stuff 

-Ellie hates it because mama you are literally about to pop and you still out here carrying pieces of wood upstairs 

-”Baby, you gotta be careful or your gonna end up giving birth on the stairs” She jokes

 -”I’m not incapable of doing things baby, i’ll be fine; plus it’ll build her muscles up, she’ll be okay.” You joke back 

-Joel always told you that you were like your mom, never stopping even if your carrying another human in your stomach 

-Around the end of 8 months you had decided to stay back at Jackson because you could go into labor at any time 

-When you finally give birth it is the hardest thing you have ever done 

-Your family is in the room with you and ellie is holding your hand, even throughout the pain you're still cracking jokes with ellie 

-”Woah! Okay your hand is all the way inside” 

-”Womb tour *sobs*” 

-”If i go through all this pain for my baby to not like David bowie, i swear it’s going back in.” 

-Ellie is literally dying of laughter

-She holds you hand the entire time and she gives you soft kisses

-When the baby finally get here, there is a wave of relief that comes over you

-You stay in Jackson for a little bit for a week or 2 until you guys can go back home

-Ellie does literally everything you need her to do because your still healing 

-She will gladly stay in bed with you all day if you need her too 

-She willingly gets up in the middle of the night with the baby just to let you sleep and it hurts her heart when she has to wake you up to breastfeed 

-Speaking of breastfeeding, it makes her blush a little when your breastfeeding 

-She finds it so hot when you parent, idk how to explain it but it just gets her going 

-She also loves your mom bod, like your boobs got a lil more bigger and your hips got wider 

-She just loves you as a mom, like she thinks you are so hot 

-Ellie loves holding the baby, She’s so soft and small. She will never get over how pure she is 

-Ellie will show her around the farm, showing her all the animals and making her giggle 

-She’ll love to spend time with the baby, she’s such a good mommy i swear 

-She will definitely make time for you of course

-You guys don’t even have to smash to feel satisfied, just 20 minutes alone with each other would be good enough for the both of you 

-She loves when you call her mommy throughout the day 

-”Well good morning mommy” 

-”Does mommy wanna watch too.” 

-It’s so soft and cute, ugh she’s just a big ole softy now 

-Grandpa joel....that’s all

-He’d be such a good grandpa, he would spoil that child rotten 

-He would tell you how to parent, as annoying as it could be sometimes you appreciate the help because you honestly have no idea what you're doing sometimes 

-”You're patting her too softly, you have to do it a bit harder.” 

-”Dad... I know what i’m doing.” 

-”I know, i know. I just want her to get a good burp in, don’t we?” He said to the baby, smiling down at her 

-Joel definitely babysits all the time, like he will straight up ask you if he could take your kid in for the night 

-you and ellie let him, obviously y’all need a decent night of sleep and a night full of... you know ;)

-Ellie does yoga with you to help you get back in shape, ellie doesn’t think you need too because she loves your belly <3 (your beautiful babe :))

-But you just want to regulate your body back a little bit

-You guys and the baby would have little pinics together, they are so cute 

-You have pictures upon pictures of the baby on the wall, like literally your baby has taken over the house 

- Dancing with the baby obviously 

-Ellie would read to the baby a lot, there has been countless times when she had fallen asleep in the rocking chair with the baby 

-Ellie massages your boobies when they get sore from breastfeeding, she feels so bad :(

-Joel and Tommy make wooden toys for the baby, they get so excited to give them to the baby 

-Her room is filled with toys from them and she is literally still an infant lmao 

-OH AND TOMMY AS AN UNCLE(??) luckiest kid ever 

-You both do farm work with the baby or one of you does farm work while the other keeps the baby from crying 

-You guys won’t force your baby to play with barbies if she doesn’t want to 

-but when she gets old enough ellie plans on taking her out in the city for practice of killing infected 

-That scares you but your award you both have to prepare her for anything that happens 

-But besides that y’all are the cutest parents and ellie deserves to be happy with her daughter :)

-

-

-

(Credits to gif owner) 

#Ellie Williams #tlou ellie #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us x reader #the last of us pt II #mom!ellie

[lululawrence]

Wordplay 5.0 Reflections

I dunno what else to call it lmao it doesn't sound right to call this a meme, but whatever it is, here we are! lol @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed came up with these questions after @wordplayfics wrapped up last year and I love them so i'm gonna use them for this year as well.

I'm going to start out with listing the prompts and linking the fics i wrote for each one for everyone's reference, though I'll be linking them again through the answers as well. I'm also putting all the questions and answers beneath a read more because, as usual, I rambled lmao Alright! Here we go!

Struggle: I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right Reduce: I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) Divide: He Carries The Key Rise: Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy Sketch: I Heard You Talking

How did you come up with your ideas for the fics? Can you take us through your process after first receiving the prompt?

I don't know that I have a set way I come up with my fic ideas for Wordplay. It all depends on the prompt and what fic ideas I've got on my "to write list" that might fit that prompt. If nothing on my to write list fits or can be tweaked for a prompt, then I just go through my prompts tag until something strikes me for it, or I just ruminate on the different ways the word can be used and see if something comes up.

So, when I did the random word generator for the first prompt and "struggle" was the word that came up, I immediately thought of "struggle bus". lolllll and when I went looking through my to write list, I saw the girl Payneshaw fic I wanted to write and I was like omgggggg Nick ABSOLUTELY is riding the struggle bus the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME and I knew that was my fic for the week. lmaoooo and there you have it.

What is your favorite fic you wrote for Wordplay this year?

oooohhhh this one is HARD AND MEAN lmaoooo i forgot this was a question asked. okay legitimately i cannot choose a favorite because i'm actually stupidly proud and happy with all of the fics i wrote this year.

If you’ve participated in previous years of Wordplay, what has been your favorite prompt from all years you participated in?

WELP. as the creator of this challenge, i've participated in all 5 years which means there've been 25 prompts i've written. lolllll and honestly i think my favorite prompt is STILL from the first year. it was "bloodsucker". like, how great of a prompt is that???

What was the shortest fic you wrote this year? The longest?

the shortest one this year was... I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right at 4381 words.

the longest one was... I Heard You Talking at 10580 words.

What fic of yours surprised you?

i think all of them surprised me in some way. that's part of the joy of writing fics, isn't it? lollll but i think the one that surprised me the most was Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy. it was a last minute change (i'll elaborate in the answer to the next question haha) and it was a VERY different direction than i had planned. it was all based off of a photo i saw on tumblr, and there was no prompt with the photo. i got to just take in the basic idea of the sticker being placed on a bridge overlooking the city and what might make that spot a good kissing spot.

now, as an ace who doesn't actually ENJOY kissing, i... didn't think about the fact that i would be writing a lot of it. lollll i actually have a super hard time writing kisses and trying to make them varied while also relaying the emotional intimacy of the moment, and then add on top of that the fact that once i started writing the fic, both harry and louis let me know pretty much as soon as words started getting written that they were both genderqueer and that worked differently for each of them, so harry would use they/them pronouns and louis would use he/him still, it just made things more interesting. and the way the fic developed??? like, i had a very vague idea of what would happen in the fic. so the way it actually came about all surprised me.

long answer short, from the very start, this fic surprised me and i was just along for the ride. it was a BLAST and i sure do love it, even if it does have the second lowest hits of all the fics i wrote this year haha

Were there any prompts you struggled to find an idea for?

STRUGGLED HAHAHA sorry. just funny since struggle was a prompt this year. ANYWAY. the prompt i had the hardest time with was defo rise. i've had this fic idea ever since greg james tweeted with shawn mendes months ago about how shawn basically forgot his interview with greg on the breakfast show, so greg had to last minute wing a LOT OF AIR TIME AND SHOW CONTENT and he did a great job, but it brought about some funny content... anyway. that made me wanna write a triad a/b/o fic where greg is louis and harry's beta. rise was going to be used in a lot of different ways through the fic, as well. because breakfast show requires greg to rise from bed early, he gets a rise out of harry and louis with his behavior and overt flirtations with shawn, they have to rise above their jealousy, etc etc etc. i was VERY EXCITED.

except i only had three days i was able to write every week this summer, and those were really really difficult to get. if i wanted to write on tuesday or thursday, i was often curling up with my laptop in a dark room with some caffeine and candles burning to soothe me after the insanity that is my life atm, and write for as long as i could before my brain stopped functioning, which was often only around 30 min. but see, that particularly week was the worst part of my son's 18 month sleep regression, which meant instead of him sleeping and letting me write, i was driving him around or trying to rock him back to sleep or letting him play in an attempt to tire him out etc etc etc and by friday morning i had to admit to myself there was no way i could write that a/b/o fic in my one guaranteed evening to write every week (saturday, btw). so i was suddenly left with around 36 hours to find a new fic idea and develop it enough to be able to write it in one evening.

as i said in the answer to the first question, i usually go to my prompts tag to see what might inspire me with this prompt word in mind, but for this one that wasn't the first place i went. i tried looking at more definitions even though i'd done that earlier and nothing was inspiring me. so i then spoke to several friends and was still having a hard time finding any ideas that felt like something i would enjoy writing and could do so quickly.

by saturday morning, knowing i had less than 12 hours to figure out what i was writing so i could actually WRITE IT in only like 2-3 hours of writing time, i finally sat down and scrolled through my prompts tag. once i did, i saw the photo for the "good kissing spot", and i immediately thought of sunrise. so i ran with it. but i wanted to make it stylinshaw, so how would i work that in, etc etc etc. it was just very fast and very difficult trying to figure out how i would structure it so it could be a fun meet cute kind of fic, but also work into them actually building a meaningful connection etc and... well. it was a lot. haha so yeah, it was just a hard time overall that week, but i'm super proud of it in the end.

Were there any prompts you had an idea for but ended up writing something different? If so, what made you choose to change what you wrote? Do you think you’ll ever write your original idea at a later date?

HA okay well i already answered most of this above, but for the last part of this question, yes i will absolutely write my original idea at a later date. the whole reason i decided not to do it wasn't because i couldn't turn it into a fic that could be written in that one writing session, but because i had hopes for what that fic would be, and i didn't want to shorten and condense it enough to do that. i didn't want to have to lessen the dreams i have for that fic in my head, so i decided i would just put it back on my to write list and save it for later. who knows when, but that fic will absolutely get written.

What do you think was the most difficult as well as the easiest part about the Wordplay Challenge?

most difficult was 100% finding the time to write. that was insanely hard for me all summer, but by the time wordplay was going, things at home had ramped up to being very overwhelming regarding the demands on me and my time, and what i had been doing to carve out some time for myself and writing wasn't working anymore, so i had to adjust even more with the understanding that i was working on a really strict timeline too. so yeah. just finding the time was absolutely the hardest part for me.

easiest part was the actual writing. these fics really flowed from me, outside of the pack fic, that one was actually pretty difficult to make sure i was getting the dynamics exactly the way i wanted to have them turn out, but even with that aspect, it still was like it flowed from me most of the time. these fics really just took over and i was along for the ride. it was a blast.

If you participate again next year, is there anything you’ll do differently? If so, what?

lmao well assuming people still want wordplay to happen again, i'll run it again and very likely will take part. so... with the difficulty i had in finding any time to do anything this summer, i was actually ridiculously stressed when it came to the writing part, but also the modding aspect of it. so i am not sure that i'll run it during the summer again next year. i might have it go during the early fall once school is back in session so i at least have only one child at home instead of three to battle lol so that's one thing i'll hopefully be doing differently.

as for the writing aspect, i don't think so actually. i've done 5 years of this, and i'm having fun with it. haha if i ever find a fic idea i think could work for it, i would consider doing a series for it next year, but it all depends on if there's something i'd like to write that could work for that kind of set up with this challenge.

if you made it this far, thank you for reading!!! xxx

#wordplay 5.0 #writing stuff #my fics #mine

[heesulovebot]

wowow than-q dawy bb @itoldsunset​ for the tag! i love doing these 🥺🥺🥺(also ur right rina did deserve a grammy nom but they h8 woc wbk😤)

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? black.

2. Name a food you never eat. i mean i pretty much eat all kinds of food but there’s a lot of things i don’t eat often. if i’m being really picky i’d say i never eat soups but i literally love pho and seaweed soup so idk 🤷‍♀️ 3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too coooold 🥶 4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? crying @ work. 5. What’s your favorite candy bar? kit-kat and aero bars were my shit as a kid but i also love any chocolate bar with hazelnuts.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? uhhhh does figure skating count? 7. What is the last thing you said out loud? i yelled to myself in my room because i work remotely & work was being a lil bitch today.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? mint choco chip or the chocolate covered almond vanilla häagen-dazs 👌🏼 9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water. 10. Do you like your wallet? actually no!!! my fave wallet broke years ago but i was still using it even though it didn’t zip up and i was always dropping coins. and then my brother got me an expensive wallet when i moved back to van but it’s literally so ugly and i only use it because i h8 being wasteful 😤😩 11. What is the last thing you ate? cereal for lunch. i was lazy :((( 12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no. i haven’t really left my house at all much the last few months, only for grocery shopping. 13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? again, figure skating? 14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? i always ask for the cheddar or salt and vinegar seasoning. 15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? the gc on kakao.

16. Ever been camping? like a handful of times in my life. as expected, i do not do well in the outdoors lol. 17. Do you take vitamins? i mean i should probably be taking them :((( she deficient lmao. 18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope. 19. Do you have a tan? she pale af rn because of quarantine 😔 20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? omg....... this is....... the hardest thing i’ve ever had to answer dkjfnkdjnfdk 21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? only if i’m given one. 22. What color socks do you usually wear? black. 23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? when i do drive, yeah. i’m scared of going too fast 😩 24. What terrifies you? this is too deep, fam. 25. Look to your left, what do you see? my empty cereal bowl from lunch lol.

26. What chore do you hate most? floors!!! i’m weird i hate the simple tasks like i LOVE bleaching shit i will bleach my life away. 27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? not as triggering as the british accent lmaooo australians r turnt. 28. What’s your favorite soda? i’m gonna sound so bougie but those italian san pellegrino sodas the aranciata (orange) is a classic but the aranciata rossa (blood orange) is soooooo goOd. 29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? if i’m in a car i like to avoid ppl lol. 30. What’s your favorite number? i don’t have one.  31. Who’s the last person you talked to? my roommate when i came out of my room for lunch.

32. Favorite meat? like i love beef but go absolutely fERAL for a good pork belly (@dawy a woman of taste) 33. Last song you listened to? my wife’s new song (meg thee stallion - body)

34. Last book you read? i’m bi i don’t read 💩 35. Favorite day of the week? at the moment? none lmao. 36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? no. 37. How do you like your coffee? i don’t 😌 38. Favorite pair of shoes? i have these like white/green reebok aztreks and they’re srsly so comfy i wear them with everything. 39. Time you normally get up? i wake up at 8 for work. on the other two days i’m at school, i try to wake up early but that never happens and i always miss my first lecture and wake up at 1 lmao 😗✌🏼 40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets because i can’t wake up early but also i prefer night time to morning. 41. How many blankets on your bed? gotta have my sheet, my comforter, and since it’s winter i pulled out the ethnic blanket for extra toasty~  42. Describe your kitchen plates. random. they’re my roommate’s. 43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. there is absolutely NO counter space but also that’s probably because we have 2 rice cookers & i wouldn’t change it for anything RICE IS LYFE✌🏼  

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? i’m basic so my go-to is gin and tonic. with lemon AND lime 😩👌🏼 45. Do you play cards? not like poker or anything but i play a mean speed and go fish lmao. 46. What color is your car? lol 47. Can you change a tire? wtf lol no don’t @ me i don’t have my full license yet u don’t need to drive in the city when the train is so much faster!!! 48. Your favorite state or province? west coast best coast 🤪 49. Favorite job you’ve had? tawan’s trophy wife. kidding. that’s not a job i do it for free ayeee 😌💅 uhhhhhh i literally h8 capitalism so UHM my inner socialist is telling me none but i miss my comrades co-workers at my old starbs job 😔✊🏼

tagging!🌈💕✨: jay @metawin, ayesha @gremlinmetawin, cass @wavelovespang, doreen @gunsatthaphan, rae @zaintseeme, dez @thehuns-bubble-tea, emily @seekingstarlightinthecity, cata @gigiesarocha, sam @khaotungthanawat, orthy @teepakornaekaranwong & anyone else who wants to can tag me!! (im starting to forget everyone’s @s because y’all change too damn much— nvm that i literally just changed mine lmao)   

#tag game #ty dawy this was nice ;u;

[mcrmadness]

14, 15, 33 (like generally in people, not dating-wise), 40, 47 :D

Ask game: Unusual asks.

Thanks! 8D

14: What is your least favorite word?

In which language? :D Also this is probably the hardest question in this ask game because I literally don't know XD But I try to think about something.

OH NOW I KNOW! I hope people don't get mad at me but RIGHT NOW my least favorite word is "gender envy". I just have this thing when I'm exposed to something against my will - could be a word, a celebrity's face (or name) or even just a tv series - and too often in very short time, and suddenly I just get an overload of that and I feel so fed up with it and can no longer tolerate it AT ALL and everything about said thing just gets on my nerves and makes me so angry that if it's e.g. a tv series someone's watching, I simply have to leave the room because I can't stand anything about it at all anymore, not even the musics nor actors' voices.

So lately this happened to me with this word. It just came out of nowhere and I see so many using it now and I can't escape because it's not only on Tumblr, it's also on Discord and on every freaking website I go to, and I feel like I'm going crazy but I just can't NOT SEE that word because there's no way to avoid it. Even if I filtered the tag on Tumblr, I'd still have to see the word because Tumblr would tell me "this post was filtered for the tag #gender envy". And it kinda sucks.

(I'm agender/nonbinary so I don't feel gender envy because there's no one born without a physical gender and I usually don't look at snails or so and be like "I wish I had its gender" - besides they are hermaphrodite and not genderless so...)

***

15: What is your favorite word?

This is also something I haven't really thought about. Okay my brain just said I should say: Gotham. Because it's one of my favorite tv series, after Gotham City which is Batman's home city, and if you put that word in half you get: Got-Ham.

That's why my siblings (they're 26 btw) started talking about the show with the Finnish word for ham: kinkku. So my sister would ask my brother "Should we watch 'Kinkku'?" when she wanted to continue watching Gotham :DDDDDDDD

***

This got bit long so the next ones under the cut...

33: What turns you off?

The lack of sense of humour. I seriously don't think I'd ever be able to get along with someone who either has no sense of humour at all or has it completely different from mine.

Also people who don't respect others, people who refuse to listen to others. Nothing makes me angrier and more frustrated than when I'm trying to say something and people say "I don't care." and won't let me even finish because they don't want to hear what I have to say only because they THINK they're gonna disagree. And even if they do disagree, it'd still be nice of them to let people finish before proclaiming that they disagree. Not doing that makes a person just an asshole.

And another thing is the music taste, having it different won't make a friendship impossible, but it always drops my mood a bit to learn I again listen to different bands and genres altogether than someone new I learnt to know, because it seems to be something that just always keeps happening...

***

40: First concert you attended

It was in 2007 and My Chemical Romance's concert in Finland. It was also their first gig in Finland ever. The concert took place in Helsinki, I was 16 and met a few internet friends I had but mainly spent time with my parents who I went to the concert with. The gig itself was insane, I had never been to an actual concert before because I was so afraid of big crowds because of my social anxiety and I always thought I don't care about going to concerts. But something in me needed to experience an MCR concert and I'm glad that I did that, because I really like going to concerts now. Every time I feel like dying tho, but somehow I still end up buying concert tickets anyway XD

The concert itsel was insane and I didn't even feel the anxiety there at all! After the concert we were hanging out near the venue and my parents already wanted to leave but I just had this feeling that we should not leave yet, and then they said we have to go now so I started walking after them and crying, and that's when I heard girls screaming behind the venue and as we went there, Frank was actually there writing signatures, and we quickly ran there and I don't remember anything else but this small group and we just handed him the ticket, he wrote his name and we left :D

Here's a photo, I still find it hard to believe that I got Frank's signature but this ticket is a proof of that so I guess I just have to trust it XD

After all that we then visited this "Rock McDonald's" in Helsinki, it's just some regular McDonald's with rock themed furniture and music and that night they were playing only MCR, and from there we went back to the hotel.

***

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

I think I answered this question in another ask a couple of weeks ago but I don't remember what I said :D Probably talked about Christmas but now I started wondering it this means like... those HOLIDAYS like Christmas, or just any kind of free days from school and work. Because I've been having one long weekend for the past 2 years, and before that holidays didn't really exist for me because horses need to be fed and taken care of no matter what the calendar says :D

Anyway I think I'm gonna say: Midsummer. In Finland it's a big thing. Well, for most it just means drinking and partying outside, but not for me because I hate people and don't drink alcohol lmao. No but, I actually was born on Midsummer Eve, the Eve is never the exact same date every year (it's always a Friday, tho) so when I have my birthday, it's not necessarily that year's Midsummer Eve. Apparently also not this year, so usually I'm having my birthday during Midsummer but I haven't celebrated it since I turned 18, so it's not really a big deal for me. I'd rather forget about it because I have had an age crisis since I was 23... anyhow, this year I'm gonna turn 30 so I know it's gonna be a bit bigger thing for my family and relatives but I'd rather not be reminded of that because for the past 10 years I have just been worrying about how 30 is closer every year because when I hit that age, then 40 will be closer than ever, too ::D

A "fun" fact about Midsummer and what it means in Finland: Every year everyone wishes for bad and good weather simultaneously because people want to spend the day in good weather but good weather means people like to go swimming. And alcohol + swimming is NEVER a good combination and the warmer the day, the more people will drown. Every Midsummer Day or the first work day after Midsummer weekend, you will find reports from all newspapers about how many people drowned this time. The nicer the weather, the bigger the number(s)... It's terrible, and people are adviced to look after their friends and family and never leave anyone alone near the water when alcohol is involved. Even I have sometimes kept an eye on someone because they were drunk and went close to the lake (not necessarily during Midsummer, but whenever I've been spending time with my mom and her siblings and friends at a summer cottage).

I don't want to end this so dramatically so I also want to say that I like Midsummer because in Finland, the sun never really sets during summer. And during Midsummer the nights are usually the brightest and soon after that it starts getting darker and darker again. It always makes me sad because the summer is so short here, but I really love these summer nights when there's like 3 hours between the sunset and sunrise but the sky doesn't even have time to turn dark during that time. Finnish summer is something special and magical.

It's probably impossible to imagine and incredibly difficult to show in photos too, but here's my attempt:

This one was taken in (the beginning of) June 2017, at 2:00 in the morning during this photo. I think it's very close to the actual lighting of that night. It's so easy to get too dark or bright photos with a proper camera and I can never remember afterwards which of the brightnesses was the correct one. (Btw we [aka me because I'm the only one of my family with a driver's license] were driving back home from Helsinki, we were to Helsinki because of a Rammstein concert :D)

I also have some photos taken at 9pm what looks more like it was in the middle of the day, and also a photo I took at 3am and it looks like it's a daytime too. It's slightly darker between 11pm and 2am and then it gets bright again. But I'm too lazy to add them to this because they just look like daytime photos and you only have my word about the actual time, so it still doesn't feel the same as actually being outside at 3am while it's bright as day :D

#lebignom #ask games

[habibialkaysani]

@sophiainspace replied to your post “reasons to stay clean:”

I feel this x

*queer high-fives* <3

@sophiainspace replied to your post “so it took me forever and a half but I think I finished the black...”

I can't wait, and I bet it's way better than you think <3

thank you. honestly I’m still sitting on it bc I can’t stand to look at it lmao but I’ll see if I can post it tonight or tomorrow maybe :)

@sophiainspace replied to your post “yo so like this is nothing urgent but if any mutuals are around for me...”

aww sorry I wasn't around - hope you found some good ppl xx

I did :) I complained to keele who was v sympathetic and that helped a lot.

@tumblingdownthefeels replied to your photoset “black siren according to tumblr”

lol, I'm "murder me pls"

friend, aren’t we all with black siren? like that woman could kill me and I’d thank her tbh

@redheadhere replied to your post “god my mood has been all over the place today and I just got yet...”

Hey friend. Don't be too discouraged. I, like you, hate rejecrion so, so much. But its going to happen. It happens to everyone. However, I can give you some tips for going forward. If you get an interview, send a thank you email right away! Proper tips for this can be found in the pilot episode of the podcast Shmanners or with an easy Google. It's shown that extra consideration is given to candidates who are polite and follow this random, rather hidden, rule.

Second, have someone look at and proof your resume and cover letter. Many places like libraries and college campuses have free "resume cafes", and can really help to set you apart. Heck, even finding someone from Tumblr to help would work.

Third, if you can, cater your resume and cover letter to the job you want. Don't ve general! Look up cover letter examples and templates so you know what people are looking for. And brag about yourself! So, so much bragging. It's uncomfortable, yes, but very necessary. It took me a long time to be able to do it, but it helps! 

Sorry if this was way out of line, or if you knew all of this. I genuinely want to see you succeed! If you have any questions or need more tips, hit me up. I know theres a great job out there for you! ❤

hey there! sorry I took a couple days getting back to you on this - life has been a bit hectic and also I haven’t been able to sit at my computer with a decent internet connection for more than like fifteen minutes tops, lol. 

thanks so much for these tips. I did actually learn a lot of job etiquette from tumblr as far as thank you emails etc are concerned because no one told me that at university. 

I’ve wanted to ask someone to look over my cv/cover letter but honestly I’m not sure who would want to? I am one of those super paranoid anxious people who finds it really hard to ask for help when it comes to literally anything. ask any of my friends who have been for coffee or dinner with me - I always am super reluctant to ask wait staff etc for anything even if they wouldn’t have minded because - tbh idek why. I just. find it v hard. and I could always show family but like sometimes I mention my creative endeavours in my cover letter/cv and that includes writing about me commenting on the lack of diversity as far as lgbtqia people are concerned, and since I’m not out to anyone except one person I just don’t want to risk anything by showing them something that could give me away. I’ve never heard of a resume cafe - maybe they’re more popular over the pond, but also since I’ve left university and I went to one in a different city I’m not really going to be able to use one of those. but I’m gonna see if any of my friends can do it. sometimes the hardest thing for me to do is to ask for help but I think I need it at this point. so thanks for that tip.

I learned all about tailoring my cover letter to the company I’m applying for and the job description when at university, but it’s always so tiring. *sigh* like I’ll do it but it takes a lot out of me? so yeah. again, I’m familiar with that advice but I think I needed to hear it again bc maybe I underestimated how important it is.

and you’re totally fine! thank you very much for taking the time to give me this advice. I really appreciate it. you have a wonderful day <3

#replies #me.txt #long post for ts

[sometipsygnostalgic]

JUST FINISHED GRAVITY FALLS

weirdmageddon was amazing! FAR better than most finales tend to be.

i wanted to know what the zodiac thing was all about though... i’d never seen it before but it was obviously important to the fans who had theorised about it.... couldnt we at least see what it would have done???? it didn’t have to be the final conflict!

ANYWAY i dont have as much to say about gravity falls as adventure time for obvious reasons so im going to rank it... Without further ado, it’s time to heavily overthink about cartoons!!!

Animation: 5 out of 5 hats - this is one of the most BRILLIANTLY ANIMATED childrens cartoon shows ive seen. there’s no weird inbetweens, the lighting for each scene is absolutely spot-on, it looks and feels amazing! honestly gravity falls looks like one of the strongest arguments for using script-driven shows instead of storyboard-driven shows, because cartoon network has never in its life produced something that looks this good.  When it used 3D CGI it was implemented smoothly. The characters had no absence of body language and cues either, it was never boring to look at. Disney does it again!!!

Humor: 4 out of 5 hats - While I dont think this show is the literal funniest thing I’ve ever watched, it is consistently entertaining throughout the entire series which is more than I can say for the two cartoons (AT and SU) that i’m unfairly comparing it to. Humor is one of GF’s strongpoints, because the jokes it throws at you out of complete nowhere will always have you on ground. I laughed SO hard during this marathon, and the jokes are obscure enough that I’ll probably do the same thing on a rewatch. The animation helps significantly too. The character designs alone, especially Mabel and her sweaters, allow for plenty of visual humor. Soos is the sort of character that you dont know what hes going to do next. Grunkle Stan conning people got some of the hardest laughs out of me. Wendy is just.... Wendy reminds me so hard of early Marceline, except she will occasionally do something really cool cos shes from a family of lumberjacks. Let’s not forget Waddles, the MVP in the humor department.

Story: 3 out of 5 hats - If I made this post yesterday, I’d have ranked it 2 out of 5 hats. I never felt that there was any “story” to gravity falls, only some kind of ARG that added nothing to the experience because none of the questions were solvable until the answers had been revealed. But the second half of season 2 ups the ante on story by focusing on the Pines family and their relationships to each other, and you can feel tension rise especially when Dipper starts to hang aound Ford a little too much and you sense that poor Mabel is gonna be left in the dust just like Stan before her. Weirdmageddon also was way more entertaining than I expected! And how it ENDED? Oh jesus! The show’s final scenes were heartbreaking, if I’d been following for longer I might have started crying.

Characterisation: 4 out of 5 hats- holy crap, it’s just so much fun seeing the Pines family play off of each other. Each group has an entertaining dynamic, whether it’s playful like Mabel, Soos, and Wendy’s shenanigans, or more serious like Stan and Ford’s conflict. There was barely any time throughout the entire series that I was annoyed by how someone was acting, or thought that it was out of place and agitating. I think I might be giving this point a rather generous score because of how feelgood it was, rather than complex or deep, which in many areas it wasnt. For example earlier in the show the conflicts felt dumb, like the Jurassic Park episode where everyone was acting vaguely out of character to cause a sense of drama? idk. But later on it got more heartfelt, if predictable. Where else do I think it can do better?

Worldbuilding: 2 out of 5 hats - Yep, the area where I think Gravity Falls does the worst is worldbuilding. For 2 big reasons: The wasted potential of Gravity Falls itself, and the way its inhabitants were used. Maybe I’m just spoilt by the AMAZING job Adventure Time and Steven Universe do with this, but the land of Gravity Falls fails to be as interesting as Ooo or as realistic as Beach City. Idk, i think it’s more ENTERTAINING than Beach City but more because I get more laughs out of the show than recent SU. The issue with Gravity Falls’ civilians is that unless you’re a Pines, youre a straight up Cartoon Character. That rules your characterisation and your purpose for existence. This is fine and yes there are some memorable characters but they never have those hilarious moments of humanity, like the episode Root Beer Guy where the title character gets into conflict with his wife cos she thinks hes too involved with his actual realistic mystery novels, or the Graybles ep where Starchy ran away from the candy kingdom to get rid of a tracker in his tooth cos he knows  PB was spying on him, and he runs a little club conspiring against her like some kind of real life political group. His club and Kim Kil Whan having King of Ooo memorabilia lmao. I’m getting too into this but its moments like that which make Adventure Time feel great. 

As for GRAVITY FALLS ITSELF, yeah because the world doesn’t feel as real as it could be I never wanted to see what it had to offer next, and there’s never explanation for all of this. The journals play a much smaller role in the series than Dipper’s reactions over them would have you think. The closest thing to an explanation is the pondering over whether a spaceship caused the weirdness in GF or was drawn to the area because of this weirdness. But is it magic? Is it science? Is it different dimensions? Fuck knows! Is there any hint about the truth? I’m not sure! Yeah, not all things need to have answers, but it helps fire off the thinkpan. In Adventure Time the Land of Ooo’s weirdness is linked to an apocalypse that helped bring magic back to the land. The hint is that the magic potential was always there, because there were magical societies around millenia before humanity. Did magic disappear because of a comet hitting the planet? Is magic actually based on scientific principles? Like GF, not all these questions have direct answers, but unlike GF, you have enough incentive and evidence to construct your own theories. It lets you get absorbed in the lore of Ooo, of the characters inhibiting it. This is my own perspective anyway. 

I think the most amazing mysteries I ever saw unwravel were Simon and Marcy’s adventures, and more relevant to my own experiences, PB’s age. Like there was puzzle pieces and hints around indicating Peebles had been around way longer than 18 years or whatever but we finally got confirmation in Season 5.2 where we saw consecutive episodes showing her in the past. The theory was that she was younger than 1000, but could be any age older than about 50. The Vault was a shock origin story for not just Finn having had a past life as a girl without an arm (THE ARM BEING ANOTHER ADVENTURE TIME THING THAT EVENTUALLY GOT some really back and forth PAYOFF), it was an origin story for peebles and the candy kingdom! but why would she make it?? ? yeah this was all stuff we were able to construct theories for, and accurate theories, because the evidence was there and more significantly the Writers were putting it together at the same time. It almost felt like we were having an INPUT in the story because of this natural way it evolved over time. That’s why AT’s mysteries are far more engaging than those of Gravity Falls, at least for me.... but maybe the same thing happened to GF fans????? Because I wasn’t there to put the pieces together, to study the Pines family or the Bill Zodiac which.... was almost as much a copout as Finn’s arm but its ok cos the stan deleting his memories shit was a decent end anyway. I just dont know why theyd  put a mystery like that IN there if it was always going to be a red herring???

To conclude this description which..... ended up being another reason to talk about Adventure Time again, I want you to know that I REALLY enjoyed Gravity Falls. It reminded me of Over the Garden Wall in how it’s told, the characters it has, but much larger and grander than OtgW ever was. 

My favourite characters were Stan and Mabel. Yeah, Dipper and Ford were very interesting characters too, but while they’re among the top of their trope, they still feel like an overdone trope to me.... especially dipper and his Issues,,, Stan meanwhile I liked that he was a runaway fuckup nobody as a child who became a professional conman after his parents kicked him out. That was an interesting backstory.  

Gravity Falls, all in All, gets 3.5 out of 5 hats. To keep it real. Spend them wisely.

#gravity falls

[arrow-guy]

Urgent Care

A/N: Okay, so I wrote this loosely based on this post that @imagine-assembling-the-avengers reblogged a little over a month ago because I couldn’t help myself. I think it may have gotten a little out of hand, but I’m p happy with the way it’s turned out! I just hope you guys feel the same way lmao

Pairing: AvengersxReader

Word Count: 5185

Warnings: Slight angst?

“Margaret Carter?”

“Yes?” The woman lying on the hospital bed manages to rasp out. Her breathing is labored and she’s fighting to keep her eyes open. “Who…” She trails off, trying to catch her breath. “Who are you?”

“You don’t know me, but I know how to help you.”

She lets out a hoarse laugh. “How could you help me? I’m dying, dear. There’s nothing to be done.”

“There’s always something to be done.” I shake my head and step towards her. “I have… well, I have powers. I can restore you to the way you were in the forties; young, spry and healthy.”

“How is it that you have these powers?” She asks, wary of the newly presented information.

“I’m an Inhuman, Ms. Carter. When Terrigen mists were released in my city, I was lucky enough to have the necessary alien genes to form a chrysalis and develop powers. Now,” I place my hands on my hips. “Do you want my help or not?”

“Why do you want to help me?”

“Because your idiot godson and too-pretty-for-his-own-good ex are about to do something so stupid that it’ll destroy the balance between supers and civilians as we know it.”

Her eyes widen. “And how do you happen to know this?”

“Not illegally, I can promise you that. I just happen to have Inhuman informants on the inside.”

“Alright… but how do you expect to explain my sudden, miraculous transformation to the hospital staff?”

“Oh, the hospital won’t know. They’ll think you’ve died.”

“And how do you expect to pull that off?”

“Tetrodotoxin B, Ms. Carter. It slows the heart rate to one beat per minute. Dr. Banner is quite brilliant, regardless of whether or not his inventions work the way he intended them.”

“So, I’ll be dead, will I?”

“Legally, yes.”

“And when I wake, I’ll be young again. Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

She’s silent for a moment, staring at something directly in front of her. She purses her lips and turns back to me “Do it.”

“Cool,” I smirk and produce a syringe of the tetrodotoxin b and take a step closer to the woman on the bed. “I suggest you get comfortable. You’re gonna be out for a while.”

–

“Ms. Carter,” I snap my fingers in front of her face in an attempt to rouse her. “Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

Her eyelids flutter momentarily before her eyes snap open and she sits bolt upright, eyes wide. She looks at me in confusion then down at her hands and, if it’s even possible, her eyes widen further. “This isn’t a dream, is it?”

“Thought you might ask that,” I hand her a mirror and grab my coffee from the table next to her bed. “So I brought backup.”

“How can you do this?” She asks, tearing her eyes away from her reflection. “I realize you have powers, but how can you use them without draining yourself?”

I shrug. “I just have to make sure I take in enough calories before I do anything. Either that, or I drain something or someone else”

“Someone?” She asks, lifting one perfectly shaped eyebrow. She’s trying her hardest to keep her cool, but the mask is slipping.

I shrug again. “If I have to, yes.” I finish with my coffee and crush the slightly soggy paper cup in my hand. “It’s not ideal but, y'know, desperate times and all.”

She nods her understanding and casts her eyes around the room. “Where are we?”

“Motel about half an hour’s drive from the Avengers facility in upstate New York. We have to get to there before dark.”

“You told me Steve and Tony were about to do something only I could stop. What exactly am I stopping?”

“Tony and a number of the other Avengers are about to sign the Sokovia accords. The accords were drawn up in order to move the power over those with powers to the government. Anyone with powers who doesn’t sign, meaning mutants, Inhumans and any other sort of enhanced person, will immediately be marked a criminal and they will be pursued and captured. If they are coerced to sign, they’ll be assigned to a team and all will be fine and dandy.”

“And if they refuse?”

“They’ll be put in prison. Specifically the kind that’s submerged in the middle of the ocean somewhere. They call them rafts. I like to call them hell.”

“Tony wouldn’t dare. “

“I think you’ll find that he would.” I snort. “He’s done a lot of things that he’s not proud of and he’s made some things that he lost control of. He thinks that if there’s someone to keep them in control, then he can prevent any potential future disasters.”

“And Steve…?”

“Steve disagrees, obviously.”

She smiles, likes she’s remembering something. “He never really did like having someone tell him what to do.”

“It’s more than that though. The accords affect everyone. Any powered person who doesn’t sign is a criminal. If someone’s in hiding and has to expose themselves to help an innocent in the street, no matter how pure their intentions, will be put away if they don’t sign.”

“How am I supposed to straighten them out? I’m not an unstoppable force.”

“You’re the only thing left they don’t want to lose. Steve’s probably already gotten an alert letting him know you’ve passed. We have to get to the compound before something drastic happens.”

“Alright then,” She swings her legs over the side of the bed and pushes herself up. “What are we waiting for?”

“For you to change out of your grandma gown.” I rise from my seat and grab the clothing I bought for her and throw the wadded up items at her. “You look ridiculous.”

She readily catches the clothing and looks down at the nightgown she’s currently wearing before laughing. “I suppose the nightgown does age me. Where is the restroom?”

“Just down the hall there,” I point in the general direction. “I’ll pack up and start the car.”

She nods and walks off to the bathroom to change. I shove all of the clothing that’s laying around into the duffel that I brought, leaving a pair of shoes and socks out for Peggy to put on when she returns from the bathroom. Other than the possessions that I brought with, I grab the notepad and ballpoint pen from the table closest to the door and scribble down the phone number of my informant and a message that I’ll have Peggy send on either we’re on our way to the compound. After finishing with the message I take both the notepad and pen, but leave behind the key card on the table.

I fling the duffel in the back of the car and slam the door before dropping heavily into the driver’s seat and loudly closing the door.

It’s about ten minutes before Peggy slides into the passenger seat. I start the engine and, as soon I as she’s buckled her seatbelt, I tear out of the parking lot.

We ride in silence until Ms. Carter can’t stand it any longer. She shifts in her seat and angles her body towards mine. I feel her gaze weighing on me like a ton of bricks.

“Spit it out before I hit you.”

“What exactly is it that you can do?”

“In what context, Ms. Carter.”

“Your powers.” She says. “What are the extend of your powers?”

“Oh. Well, I manipulate stored energy. I can drain energy from people, plants, animals, you name it. I can also give that power back. If I have to, I can weaponize it, but I prefer to keep my talents in the infirmary.”

“Is that how you met your informant?”

“More or less yes. He and I worked at the Avengers facility together. He’s a weapons technician and I worked in the infirmary. More often than not, he would get injured trying to help Stark with his tech and I’d have to patch him up.” I concentrate on the road signs my eyebrows furrowing. “I got pretty well acquainted with most of the Avengers, if I’m being honest. After they found out about my powers they would occasionally come see me for a little energy boost before missions. Not all of them will be happy to see me, so please don’t be offended if I use you like a human shield.”

“Why wouldn’t they be happy to see you?” She asks, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Let’s just say I couldn’t be exactly what they wanted.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I sigh, my grip tightening around the steering wheel. “During the Ultron incident the team picked up a couple of kids. They went to Sokovia and only one of the kids came back alive. They wanted me to bring him back, but I couldn’t. His brain had been without oxygen for too long and I couldn’t do anything to help.” I wipe a frustrated tear away with my thumb. “No one was too happy to have me around at that point, so I left. I kept in touch with my informant and, from what he tells me, at least a few of them think I’m a deserter.”

“That hardly seems appropriate.” She turns her body back to the front of the car and focuses her eyes on the road.

“Yeah, well I left when things got hard. Their words hold some truth. Can’t really be upset when I’m the one who gave up and ran away.” I flip open the compartment between the two front seats and fish out the note I had written earlier and the cell phone and toss them into her lap. “The past doesn’t matter. The present does though, so text that message to the number on the paper.”

–

I stop the car in a secluded area a ways away from the facility. It looks almost exactly the way it did the day I left.

“So this is the Avengers facility?”

“Yup.”

“It’s not as large as I would have expected Tony to have built it.”

“There’s more to it than what you see right here.” I unbuckle my seatbelt and pull myself out of the car. Peggy follows and joins me on my side of the car. “There are a bunch of buildings that you can’t see from here and there’s a large portion of the facility that’s underground.” I point to a small building a few yards away. “That’s how we’re getting in. We just have to wait for my friend to open the door.”

“And when is that supposed to happen?”

“Just give the man a second. He does work in one of the most heavily fortified facilities in the world.”

“What is that building anyway? It’s so small, I can’t imagine it having much more use than a small shed.”

“It’s the underground entrance. Most people who live outside of the facility use it to come and go, especially those of us who work, or rather worked on the lower levels of the facility.”

“Huh,”

The doors slide open, revealing my friend who stands there staring in our general direction. I lock the car and gesture to Ms. Carter to follow me. She sticks close, understanding the risk of sneaking into the compound.

“It’s about damn time you got here.” He says as soon as we’re in earshot. “You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

I roll my eyes and sigh. “Shut up and give me a hug you asshole.” He laughs and pulls me into a brief but tight hug. “We works have been here sooner, but restoring her drained me more than I expected it to.”

He nods and looks over my shoulder to Ms. Carter. “It’s an honor to meet you ma’am. We’ve all heard great things.”

“It’s good to meet you too.” She nods respectfully. “I have no idea what your names are though.”

“You didn’t tell her our names?!”

“It never came up!”

“You’re hopeless.” He sighs in resignation. “I’m Jared and they’re (Y/N).”

“Alright,” Peggy nods once again.

“Okay, we should head inside before we get caught out here. I’d rather go to them than have them come to us.” I suggest stepping aside to allow Peggy to go through the door before me. Jared nods and we follow him down three flights of stairs and into his small office at the very end of the corridor.

As soon as the door is closed I open an application on my phone and activate it before nodding to Jared. He nods back and nod grabs a spare uniform that he managed to smuggle out of the laundry from behind his desk.

“How long do we have until they know something’s up?” He asks.

“Maybe fifteen minutes, twenty if we’re lucky.” I answer taking one of the uniforms from him and immediately beginning to change into it.  “Stark, we should start worrying around ten.”

“Alright then, here’s the plan; Stark and Rogers aren’t exactly talking to each other right now. Last I heard, Rogers was mourning the loss of Ms. Carter here. You walk past a few security cameras, freak out the security staff enough that they call Stark in to check, he alerts the rest of the team and you wait for them to come to you.”

“Cool,” I zip the front of the uniform and stuff the cap on my head. “Anyone I should be particularly worried about?”

“Romanoff and Barton always seemed to like you, so they probably won’t be a huge problem. The Vision is just…”

“Vision?” I offer.

Jared snorts. “Let’s say he’s learning. You see the news a couple days ago?” I nod.  “Wanda’s in a bad spot, she may not even show up.”

“Might be for the best. I got weird energy readings off of her when she realized I couldn’t bring her brother back.” I nod. “Anyone else I should be wary of aside from the fearless leaders?”

“Rhodes and Wilson joined up, so you might want to watch out for them.”

“Why is it that you’re warning them but not me?” Peggy asks.

“Because you’re the person who started all of this.” Jared says, gesturing to the facility in general. “Who would dare hurt you?

“Even so-”

“Listen,” I cut her off “I’m the one who pissed everyone off. Anyone who’s still upset with me is more likely to just punch me and then ask questions. If they don’t recognize you, they still won’t initially hurt a civilian. You’re fine.”

“If you insist.”

“She’s right, Ms. Carter.” Jared glances at the clock. “You two better get going if you want to get this done.”

I nod. “Alright, let’s go.”

We bid Jared farewell and head back out into the facility. I take her down past the gym where the Captain worked out when he wanted to be alone and check the window to the main door. Sure enough, he’s in there, pounding away at a bag near the doors. I slip away before he can see me and nod to Peggy. She nods back and takes her place in front of the door.

Taking a knee, I press the palms of my hands flat against the concrete floor. I close my eyes and focus on the Captain’s energy signature. When I’m sure that I’ve locked onto his unique energy, I send a jolt through the floor and into his body in hopes of it startling him enough to get him to look around and see his lost love standing at the door.

At the sound of Ms. Carter’s soft gasp, I grab her wrist and haul her down the corridor, whipping the both of us around a corner and pressing us against the wall. We hear the doors slam open and the slapping of feet against concrete as Steve thunders out of the gym. As soon as we hear his footsteps retreat we move on to our next point.

We quickly make our way to the hangar. There are rows upon rows of quinjets in various states of disrepair. Several technicians shout a greeting and I wave back, grinning at their reactions when they realize who we are.

“(Y/N)!”

I glance over my shoulder to see who’s trying to get my attention. When I see someone jogging to catch up with us I stop Ms. Carter and turn around to wait. I squint at them, trying to figure out who they are and it takes a while for it to click.

“Freddy?” I call, “Is that you?”

He laughs as he comes to a stop in front of me. “The one and only.”

“You’ve put on some weight, man.” I comment, pulling him into a hug. “It’s a good look for you.”

He laughs again, slapping me heartily on my back before releasing me from the hug. “I’ll have you know it’s all muscle!”

I snort in amusement. “Yeah, whatever you say, Fred.” He grins at me and I laugh at his response. “How’re the wife and kids?”

“Still just as tickled as ever that I have a job.” He answers. Peggy catches his attention and I immediately see the rebellious sparkle glint in his eyes. “So you’re really doing it, huh? Restoring balance to the Avengers?”

“We’re sure as hell gonna try.”

“Well good on you,” He leans in slightly and lowers his voice. “Though I’m glad I’m not the one who has to be there when the shit hits the fan.”

“I would never ask that of you. You have a family to protect. I don’t want to mess that up for you.” A loud siren cuts through the air and I sigh loudly. “That’s our cue, Ms. Carter.”

“It was lovely to meet you, Fred.” Peggy says, nodding to the stout man in front of us.

“Same to you, ma’am.” He grins at the two of us and squeezes my arm in a silent wish of good luck.

I clap him on the shoulder and lead Peggy towards the exit on the other side of the hangar. Before we leave the massive room I take off the cap that I’m wearing and discard it, making it easier to recognize me.

I hold the door for Ms. Carter and follow after her as soon as she’s through the doorway, the door banging shut behind us.

“There they are!” Someone yells to our right. Upon further investigation I find a horde of facility security officers not too far off.

“Oh, this is getting good,” I say, shooting a manic grin at Peggy before grabbing her by the hand and rushing off in the direction opposite the security officers.

Without so much as a shout of complaint, Peggy races after me, managing to stick close to me as we wave through the maze-like halls of the facility.

As soon as we burst through the doors that lead to another open field on the other side of the compound we’re met by both Stark and Rhodes, their repulsors trained on the both of us. By the shouts coming from behind us I would hazard a guess that the security guards followed us out and, with any luck, the good captain himself.

“Was this part of the plan?” Ms. Carter hisses.

“Completely.” I answer. “Just stay very still.”

“Y know, I was really hoping we’d never see you again, (Y/N).” Stark’s voice scratches out of his suit.

“Believe me, if I could have avoided coming back, I would have.”

“Care to explain why you’re back then? And on top of that, why did you drag this innocent woman into your petty liitle fight with us?”

“Are you really such an incredible dumbass that you’ve already forgotten what your godmother looks like, Stark?” I question.

Tony snorts in derision. “Peggy Carter is dead. You really expect anyone to believe that you brought her back after claiming you couldn’t bring Maximoff back?”

“He had been without oxygen for too long. If I had even tried he would have been brain dead and that would have been a fate worse than death. I did everyone a favor. The fact that you still can’t see that just cements the fact that leaving this team was the best decision I ever made. However, I didn’t come here to dig up the past, I came to get you idiots the scolding of a lifetime.” I run a hand through my hair and square my shoulders defiantly. “Three days ago I paid Ms. Carter a visit in her hospital room. I offered her the chance to have her youth back and she accepted. Using one of Banner’s little inventions, I helped her fake her death and restored her.”

“You're… you’re really not lying about this, are you?” Steve’s voice sounds from behind me. I sigh loudly and turn around to face the man.

“I’ve caused you all enough pain as it is. I wouldn’t come back and spout nonsense just to rub salt into the wounds.”

Looking over my shoulder, I catch Ms. Carter’s eye and nod to her. Her jaw sets and she turns to face the man. I watch as his eyes go wide and tears form in his eyes.

“Hello, Steve.” She says quietly.

“I-I…” He stutters, searching for something to say. “You’re here.” He says finally.

Peggy nods once. “I am. “ She confirms before turning around again to face her godson. ��Now, Anthony, this young person has filled me in on the, what did you call them?” She asks, turning her head towards me.

“The Sokovia Accords.” I answer.

“Yes, the Sokovia Accords.” She nods. “You can’t seriously be considering signing the blasted thing.”

“The accords are going to do a lot of good.” He says defensively.

“No, what they’re going to do is set back the progress we’ve made with powered people by several decades. Do you realize how hard it was to normalize the existence of mutants, Tony? Now with the appearance of Inhumans, we’re presented with an entirely new obstacle and the only thing signing those accords will do is not only criminalize, but demonize the existence of anyone with abilities.”

“Aunt Peggy-”

“I am not finished.” She says tersely. I imagine her tacking on a ‘young man’ at the end of her sentence and have to tamp down the urge to laugh. “Why exactly are you signing the accords? Did you think about how it would affect the rest of your team? How it would affect the rest of the world? Once you sign something like this and it takes hold, it’s very hard to dismantle it. Tell me, have you even read through the proposal?”

“I’ve skimmed it.”

“Of course you have.” I mutter, scrubbing a hand down my face.

“(Y/N), please, that’s not helping.” Peggy says curtly.

“Right, sorry. Force of habit.”

She rolls her eyes. “Do you know what they’re proposing to do with those who don’t sign the accords, Tony?”

“I don’t exactly remember for sure.” He answers. We can’t see his face, but I’m certain he’s trying to look anywhere but at Peggy right now.

“They’re going to put them in prison, dear. Prison. For something they can’t even control. And you think this is a good proposal?”

The faceplate of Tony’s mask finally slides up, revealing his uncertain expression. “We need someone to keep us in line. We can’t keep operating on our own. Too many bad things have happened when we’ve run unchecked and it can’t go on like this.”

“Then propose something else.” Peggy says evenly. “The two of you need to work together and draw up a document that you can both agree on.”

“That sounds… doable.” Steve says slowly.

“It damn well better be or, so help me, I will take over and make your lives a living hell until you straighten out. Even then, who knows what I’ll do!” Peggy threatens.

I watch Steve visibly stiffen and I find myself slightly amazed at the effect that this woman has on these two men. I knew she was important, but I guess even then I underestimated her.

When the two men don’t verbally react she shoots alternating disapproving looks at the two men. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Of course, Peggy.” Steve nods fervently.

Peggy and I stare at Tony expectantly. He drops his gaze to the grass.

“Yes, Aunt Peggy.” He mumbles, his words just barely loud enough for us to hear.

Peggy nods in satisfaction. “Good. Now shake on it.”

Both men stare at her, eyes wide. She just lifts her eyebrows at the two of them, her expression otherwise stern.

“Well?” She places her hands on her hips. “We haven’t got all day, have we?”

I watch, mouth covered by my hand to muffle a giggle, as the two men trudge reluctantly towards each other and firmly grasp one others hand. They move them up stiffly up and down once before looking to Ms. Carter for approval. She sighs in exasperation and rolls her eyes.

“Fine,” She scrubs a hand down her face and crosses her arms over her chest. “Let’s get started on this. I don’t want you to put off something this important.”

Steve nods and waves away the security officers who quickly disperse, nodding once to me and Ms. Carter before they’re gone.

“Y’know, I half wanted to work security when I started here.” I muse, watching the men stalk off to their regular postings. “Maybe you guys wouldn’t hate me as much if I did.”

“You think that we hate you?” Steve questions.

I shrug once before nodding. “S’why I left. Everyone was throwing off negative energy and it was all directed at me. With the strength of it, I knew I wouldn’t be missed if I left. On top of that, Tony’s little greeting earlier really just confirmed that my decision was the right one.”

Steve’s expression darkens and I can’t quite read it. He just looks me directly in the eye and nods once before motioning for us to follow him.

I follow after Peggy as both Tony and Steve lead the way back into the facility.

Soon the hallway let’s out into a tunnel of glass, looking out on the expansive fields of the facility. Everything is impossibly green and beautiful. I half wonder if one of the landscapers has powers because whoever keeps up with this has to either be in a hundred places at once or have the greenest thumb in existence.

I amble along behind the small group, taking in the view, shoving my hands in my pockets and not really paying any attention to what’s going on around me. If I keep quiet I’ll be able to leave again soon without too much fuss.

“(Y/N)!” Tony barks, snapping his fingers in front of my nose, effectively stopping me in my tracks.

“What?” I ask, scowling at him.

“We’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now.” Steve says.

“Really?” I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how much I don’t want to be here. Didn’t realize you’d actually want to talk to me.”

“Is everyone who quits your little company this sarcastic, Tony?” Peggy asks.

“Nope, just this one.”

I roll my eyes. “What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Where did you get the uniform?” Tony asks. “It’s not like you can just make one.”

“I borrowed it from a friend who liberated it from the wash for me.”

“Who was it?”

“Now that would be tattling, Stark, and tattling can get someone fired in a place like this.”

“It’s not like I’d fire them.” Tony grumbles.

“Wouldn’t you though?” Steve questions, cooking an eyebrow accusing lyrics.

Stark isn’t given a chance to defend himself as Natasha enters the corridor.

“I heard the alarm a little while ago, what happened?” She asks, looking between her two colleagues.

“Why don’t you ask your little friend here?” Tony says, making a sweeping gesture towards me.

“Friend? I didn’t know anyone was supposed to be here.” Her brow furrows as she looks past them before her eyes settle on me and a grin stretches her elegant features. “(Y/N)?”

“Hey, Nat,” I greet her with a wave and a bright smile. “Fancy meeting you here!”

She pushes past the men at the head of the group to wrap an arm round my neck and pull me down to her height so she can grind her knuckles into my scalp. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“Couldn’t,” I grit out, smile still firmly in place, and try to shove her off of me. “It was kind of a secret.”

“I’m a spy, I can keep a secret.” She says, releasing me and punching me in the arm.

“I know, but this was a really big one!” I say, my voice almost a whine, and rub at my arm.

“This is what that young man meant when he said she liked you?” Peggy asks incredulously.

“What young man?” Tony asks.

“Nunya,” I answer, shit eating grin plastered on my face.

“Last name?”

“Business.”

“Nunya Business…” Tony trails off, his brow furrowing angrily. “Are you fucking kidding me.”

Steve snorts loudly, his mouth covered with his hand to keep his laughter contained and Peggy smacks his arm, a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. I laugh outright and Natasha snickers from beside me.

“Was it Jared?” Nat whispers in my ear. I nod in response. “Good kid.”

“He is,” I agree.

“Is that Peggy Carter?”

“Indeed it is,” I nod.

“Isn’t she supposed to be dead?” Natasha asks.

“Yup,”

“Tetrodotoxin B?”

“Right on the nose, Nat.” I laugh. “Figured she was the only one who could fix this whole business with the Accords.”

“Huh,”

“Yeah,” I sigh quietly. Steve, Tony and Peggy begin walking down the hall again and Natasha and I follow after them, keeping enough distance between us that we can talk at a normal level. “Is Steve still looking for Barnes?”

“You think there’s any force in the world that could possibly stop him once he’s put his mind to something?”

“Right, well, he might want to check Romania.”

“Romania?”

“Sounds strange, I know, but I’ve heard rumors from a few Inhumans in the area who have seen someone who looks like the Winter Soldier in the street markets.”

The group goes into the conference room and Natasha and I loiter outside a while longer.

“You sure the information is legitimate?” She questions.

“I doubt my own people would lie about something this serious. Still,” I shrug. “Even if it’s not, it’s a better lead than anything he’s had in almost two years.”

“Sure wouldn’t hurt.” She turns her attention to the group in the room, hunched over a large stack of papers. “You think you’d ever come back?”

“Stark doesn’t want me here.” I say simply.

“That doesn’t answer the question, (Y/N).”

“Let’s worry about the Accords before I make a decision okay?”

“Fair enough.”

--------

Part 2

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you liked the piece please reply to the post or shoot me an ask! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!

Tag listers:

@lost-yet-never-found, @tempestinatea-cup,@helmerfan43,@pokemaniac1,@baguettegirl,@ididnotseethatcoming,@chronolockcd,@creaturefeatures101,@wintcrcaptain,@arianaamaris,@nerdycinderella,@imagine-assembling-the-avengers,@wordstothewisereaders,@ptprocrastination,@1950schick,@neverenough24,@amayasymone23,@liladeldiamandis,@thebeutifulsunriseofmoi,@numbersdonotwinbattles,@super-potter-4ever,@kaykay0522,@arfrona-and-marvel,@ek823,@deansbaby67supernatural,@ilovebeingjoyful,@always-a-marvel-addict,@furrywerewolfcollector,@evansscruff,@theamazingworldofmarvelfics,@maurici65,@swing-dance-into-my-heart, @kissofvenom922, @not-that-type-of-person,@marvel-at-stucky,@arianaamaris, @dawn-phantomhive, @superwhovian80, @always-a-marvel-addict,@fangirlwithasweettooth,@lunalovegood2,@awesomeahwu,@thedoctorlivesthroughbooks,@kitkatgaming,@wordstothewisereaders, @marihof1,@fantasiesfortomorrow,@leahhavoc,@awesomea102938,@samwinchesterswifey,@kaywolves,@anthonysfark,@childrenofhumanity,@bucky-barnes–winter-soldier, @gucci-zjm,@howdoesoneadult,@nyotapon,@redroomproperty,@sscarletwitchess, @saved-by-words-and-music, @thefandomplace, @themeechofitall, @yourbuddyyourpalyourbucky, @claws-of-vibranium, @here-to-wreak-havok, @gcneral-organa

#avengersxreader #readerxavengers #avengers x reader #reader x avengers #peggy carterxreader #readerxpeggy carter #peggy carter x reader #reader x peggy carter #peggy carter #agent carter #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #tony stark #captian america #black window #iron man #mcu #marvel #civil war #cacw #marvel fanfiction #reader insert fanfiction #marvel angst #angst fic

[peace-and-disquiet]

Ignore this

First One Hello Second Purgatory and all the shit Third one Why are movies so like under like a man thing is it because they like to look at things more? Women edits the film Bisexuality- several definitions Bisexuality-negative stereotypes NOPE bisexuslity-what it actually is I like being sick because it's a physical representation of what is going on in my brain. People can finally see that there is something wrong. They cant just take my word for it and they won't be able to see the inner workings of my brain. I like being sick because I know there's something wrong and at least it's on the outside now. Intelligent fools I'm high on devotion "Be happy please" -Roman I'm so ironic A girl with commitment issues that wants tattoos You want me to be as flat as Texas but I am like the rolling hills of California Nothing more mostly yes You taught me how to love and lose myself I don't know who I am or where I belong you took that away so just find a place for me to stay La La Land Short film from kid perspective only see legs moving and audio While taking off from LAX I was looking out the window and it hit me. I flew over the place that I've lived my whole life in. The place that will be hard to escape. It was almost tear dropping. But then I remembered, I remembered everything. This place looked so beautiful from above with the lights shining and it being so untouchable, but it's terrifyingly devastating how horrible it is once you land. Once you leave the airport and go back to your life. And it made me realize that it is like that everywhere, no matter where I go it will be like that. There really is no happy place anywhere. Then I looked again and I remembered the places where I had the greatest memories and met the greatest people. Despite the extensive amount of bad in the world these places still shown through. It made me love these memories twice as more. Look again. sockhead: Two people on couch one gets up to grab water and walks over to box and empties it out and puts it on head then walks back to couch sits looks at other person gets up paces walks funny turns around does a spin and walks to other person and says "would you like a dance" "Look at this post Your battery percentage is the age you lose your virginity What's yours at *pulls out phone* lmao it's at 16 and I'm 16 Exactly" And you can tell what happens next First scene is someone people watching and them getting stuck on one person and they go to their friend and is like "I was people watching but I got stuck on this one person *describes*" "Who is my someone in the crowd?..hmmm... WHERE IS MY SOMEONE IN THE CROWD HUH WHERE ARE THEY *cries*" Idk that's usually what I say when I want the world to fuck off Future short film: Foggy (silent) Trust goes both ways -rogue one Let's tell him how much we love him Falling in love with some is loving a person so rapidly, you just figure out the person automatically basically. Falling in love with someone gradually is the best feeling because you never know what is coming or what you feel. Once you know what it is you either regret it or embrace it. Nothing can ever be that perfect. That's what makes it beautiful Your voice is like a lullaby Scene or picture: All kinds of couples kissing in front of the Hollywood sign All cute and poop and then boom It's a misconception of a heart... I don't like misconceptions. I no longer fear death because I know that when I die it means that I am being taken out of this world because I have fulfilled my sole purpose so there is no point in me being here anymore. So Roman you and Irene are hanging out at some place together and you guys are left alone cuz Roman had to go somewhere but Irene looks at you all mad but as she pounces on you, you start making out... Irene only dated Roman to get to izzy Most underrated scene: when someone is going through something and they kick something and more stuff comes down Well shit Google translate to I Love You Use human nature in short film with ending like bad things (one person turns around) or in any love short film Covers: Secrets What a wonderful world Fly me to the moon Breaking Free w/ Roman Something New w/ Roman Creep Walt Disney is evil "The hardest part is the fact that I would do it all again" Oh you don't know me until you've seen cry about a boy cuz there's hurt in the world oh you don't know me No matter how much you wanna forget how much you loved someone because it hurts you would still do it all again "I mean when I love I love hard ya know" "It excites me that one day I will just leave" "The idea of running away intrigues me" I was too scared to love her If I lived in the places where my parents are from I would have the almost ideal body type but no I live in Cali where it's filled with impossible goals but hey even over there the goals are still impossible but society loves telling women all over the world that they have to look a certain way to be beautiful or to have people be attracted to them but hey we can't really do shit about it cuz it already affected our generation but we can help stop it for our kids or grandkids cuz it's fuckin unbearable Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one improvising Lets say all the things we never said I'm under my bed the scary man is in my head I love you Alex I love you and I fuckingn hate you -OITNB Sock head:can it go in notes? Song for girl You're a cool hat because you go over people's head Mom:I better not get a grandchild anytime soon Me:well that ain't gonna happen cuz one of us is gay and the other one sucks at getting into relationships "Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies" -Charles Dickens The city Sock head *kissing* *pulls away just a bit* what are we doing? Idk Okay *continues* You kick it up but it comes back down with more crap I have to go see about a girl -Good Will Hunting My whole life I was told to just slap a smile on and don't feel only be happy and normal but as I got older I realized that the beauty and meaning in life is feeling. The smile was still there but only when I meant it so it became more special. For once I was truly happy and had real friends. It's insane the things we're taught as kids because they really hold us back from life. Unreasonably obsessed You've made it-engaged-reality-join-idealize Love-laughter-talk They say the best way to move on is to let go as if letting go is the easiest part To house cats their home is their earth Seventeen Laying down staring up camera in front first scene rest shows how the person should change but last scene is same thing Walking out of house furious walking swamp scene Last first kiss Ten Commandments of film Prince Charming would never settle for you-bo burnham Beatify=violent Some Future stranger I got my mom a mug on her birthday she got a mugshot on mine It was something...a great story...just not a novel (it's not a poem) Life really does teach you how to live it if you live long enough Gentlemen you can't fight in here this is the war room -Dr Strange Love CURRENT Perspective What is it exactly that you see in this (July 7th) TATTOOS Music passage on rib cage (Creep) 28, 3, 10, 4, 7, 8 on forearm like it would show up on fortune cookie Equal sign behind ear Music not thumb Lame on middle finger w/Amanda Let life be A-live Aliento Love only Simplicity Not enough to time for time outs (tattoo and idea) Perspective tattoo Three spiral tattoo Pulse tattoo Viking symbol tattoo Roman Numerals (18) (17) Passion Now Ellipses Semi colon Vegvisir compass Hakuna Matata symbol Arrows Music note Bicycle Faceless cat tattoo or cat tattoo Moon tattoo Tree tattoo ™ tattoo Equality (two lines) & City outline tattoo Silhouette Parentheses FILM TITLES In the eventual reality It's not the first time someone has walked away from something beautiful It's Not a Poem (film idea sammy) Person thinks that they're in love but the other one is like "hey reality" etc. People who fear death die everyday people who don't die only on one day-Julius Ceaser The light at the end of the tunnel is behind us It's still real (film idea) Because The Movie Ends (film idea)NAH What's your mentality Do you need the past to have a future Do you need a future to have a past Right answer:You need the now to have anything SONGS We're falling apart together Le-e-E-t meeee lovvvee youuuu Sock head We're just PG-13 (idea) Lost stars One piano hit City Oauahhhhhohhhh Stars Music Headphones Pearls=lights Let me be afraid Light bulb lantern sleep eat Connected Flowin rivers Whimsical Running through the flowers falling for the hours oh time goes on no mercy for the broken Caannnn iiiii SEEE tonight Ohhhh dreeeaammsw tooo faarrrr rreeaacchh dying slowly aging with faces taking the lights breaking it down Falling towards nothing but it feels like something Candle Julius Ceaser Kissing on a grave yard Wrinkled hearts fading spades Numerology Crumbs I feel so bad I broke a plastic man SCENES Camera on girl calm face then she winces and starts screaming FIGHT BACK *pause* FIGHHT BACK *pause* then the camera goes to the side girl is looking in mirror *full mirror shot* as girl screams (score is like insane and then is white noise as she screams then like a gust of wind as the scene cuts) Car crash two people in car siblings scene goes Car flipping silence car flipping silence car flipping silence car flipping silence for slightly longer then one of the siblings waking up like the car hit the floor and looks at dead siblings wide eyes swallows crawls out of window looks at car wide eyed turns around looks at people getting out of their car wide eyed then walks limping and dripping blood maybe possibly when far away from camera just dropping dead (either ending or beginning) RANDOM IDEAS 818-fuc koff Kissing on a graveyard I can feel myself falling as I lay on the floor Death is the hour of life You're in a cage-what cage?-life You can't come to terms with reality reality comes to terms with you I'm addicted to addiction I wanna try acid you? I wanna try cigarettes well that's boring Doing drugs in front of chuck e cheese The extra that no one notices If I wanted somebody to die I would've killed them myself Meaningful regrets You know when people jump off a bridge to commit suicide well when they fall into the water they slowly float past the other uncared for yet loved souls This guy fucks a manikin and then he dates this girl and she's like a manikin She graduated from being raped to being murdered Why should I die? I'm not the asshole The Public:They like you they dislike you they hate they want to kill you they love you You know me in your marrow The fact is that it The unlikely couple Emails what a bunch of load of shit Is it that I people care for a little bit or is it that they just don't care How long do we have to deal with this? Till we don't "There's no such thing as the past when you haven't had a future" I've realized that there is nothing telling me yes but you Ankh Fuck shit you Life Death Truth Lies Don't you wish that there was a way to know you were in the good ol days before you left them I wish there was cuz I would go back Love just is Lost in a world full of love There is no light There is no everything without death Every mask rips My hand are like mini earth quakes My stomach has a heart beat "Do you want him to be your English teacher" "I know how to speak English" "He was drunk" We only die on one day It can either be a child or a penis (kid) I have a lot of pictures of my plants Texting your sexuality We were forever Scared to Come out to a parent who works at a place called pride A man named John Prays calls crash die Uh sorry my email isn't working right now Candle I go to grammar I know synononomns my wardrobe is mostly flannels because I took a flannel from every person that I loved It took forever to get out of my moms manipulation growing up and then I was thrown into his and I got out of it and then I get out of that and I'm trying not to get into anything else like that Growing up my mom would always make me do things or make me feel things and the actual me would only pop out occasionally and during that I would just live in fear and its like that again and I really hate it because now it's not just her I just want to leave cali But that's gonna be really hard and even my family says that I won't leave because I care too much and even though my mom does so much crap to me I can't leave her alone because she doesn't know how to be and she'll go crazy Because my brother will be here but he's not good at this I've had to do it my whole life because he was non existent I've been taking all of it from both parents and all of my family my whole life And I still get compared to my brother and my family says I'm copying him just because I like some of the things he does and I told him about things that he really likes now but no I'm copying him She's always made me do things and never let me be my own person because I'm so god damn afraid of her And I ant escape it and it freakin sucks even more now because I'm aware of it but I don't want to be oblivious again because I never had good experiences then Now I do occasionally like I feel now and I have actual friends but now it's just stale and it sucks because for some stupid ass reason I close myself off Because I'm scared that everyone is gonna be like what I grew up with Or that I'm gonna have to leave them So I screw up good crap or I don't let stuff be great just good I can't help it because at the time where I could've defined myself a little bit it was mostly what my mom told me to be and fear and now I'm kind of just everywhere still afraid And I'm scared of the future because I feel like I'm gonna get into a relationship or have friendships where I'm controlled Of be stuck doing something I hate Just slap a smile on and walk away At this point the smile is kind of necessary for other people that I love so I have to do it so people can not like explode so it's fine it's kind of normal now My brother and I just wrote music for a song and like idk it's weird cuz we were kind of just improvising and then this kind of thing rose from it and like we were playing together and we ended it and we both looked at each other and he was like "woah that hit me really hard" and I was like "I almost started crying" and he was like "me too" and so like idk I guess the notes and Rhythms hit a soft spot All cute and poo and then boom

[butchwherewolf]

1-whatever it ends on lol. I like seeing other people's stories and such. Sorry... if you don't wanna do em all j pick ya faves clearly I'm not picky. 😋

i dont have anything to do really so here we go lmao1: Is there a girl in your life? Yuuuuuuuppppppppppp2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Hmmm... Kind of. It’s convoluted and personal so i’m not gonna elaborate 3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” a cat(is there something else im supposed to think of???)4: What’s something you really want right now? To be able to kiss my girlfriend and actually be there with her, instead of being separate by 3,000 miles of land5: Are you afraid of falling in love? Not really6: Do you like the beach? Fuck yes. I’m a marine science major for a reason7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Mmmm I don’t think so?8: What’s the background on your cell? My girlfriend9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? Only 2: my bed, my dorm bed10: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Kind of... but not really11: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Uhhhh someone in my section in band i think12: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional13: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Depends on who i’m going with. I know some friends of mine that i’d love to go to an art museum with, and the same goes for a zoo. I’m down with either honestly.14: Are you tired? a-yuupppp15: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? Uhhh first phone contact was probably my parents so, forever, but not including them, it’s probably a friend I made in high school that i’ve known for roughly 7+ years16: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? I don’t have any exes17: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Depends on how long we’ve been together, honestly. And tbh? I’m only 20, I’m not gonna be marrying anyone until after college lmao18: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? fresh hot 0 bracelets19: Is there a certain quote you live by? Yeah. ‘Take your forest one tree at a time’ It’s a quote by my mom. She told me this when I was stressed in high school and it’s about how you take your issues one thing at a time. It’s helped a lot through tons of issues20: What’s on your mind? School, band21: Do you have any tattoos? No but I want one22: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Uhhhhhhhh no clue. only person i’d want to kiss on the lips is my gf and idk when i’ll be able to see her23: Who are you texting? No one right now24: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? mhm for sure25: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Mmmm yes26: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? lmao yes, my gf27: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? yes, actually. probably the one constant compliment people give me28: Were you single on Valentines Day? last year, yes29: Has anyone upset you in the last week? I don’t think so??30: Have you ever cried over a text? oh yeah31: Where’s your last bruise located? uh probably leg cause i hit something idk32: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? don’t really know, probably late summer33: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? parents34: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? yes im wearing one today35: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? fuck no36: Do you make supper for your family? yep37: Does your bedroom have a door? mhm38: Does anything on your body hurt? not currently, no39: Are goodbyes hard for you? if they’re permanent goodbyes or goodbyes to like, seeing friends you havent seen in years, then yes40: How is your hair? its alright i guess41: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? fuck yes42: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? oh yeah43: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? uhhhhh making sure i sent a goodnight text to my gf44: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? mhm i hate it45: How old will you be in 5 months? 2146: Where is your Mum right now? probably working in the city or smth47: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? nope48: How many people have you liked in the past three months? if you mean romantically, one. if you mean platonic then a good handful because of band starting up49: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? i fucking hope not50: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? yes, the person i like is my gf and im p sure i’ll probably talk to her51: If your GF was into drugs would you care? i really don’t care as long as it isn’t hardcore drugs and it’s ruining their lives52: Who was your last received call from? again, parents53: Have you ever trusted someone too much? mmmm maybe54: Do you get along with girls? yes, kind of. depends honestly?55: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? no56: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? yes

#Anonymous