#and my process nowadays

[thea-apianae-dot-png]

la bella donna

redraw of this pic from a year ago

floral pattern from picture blue box

#my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #redraw #my character #character: raven #described in alt text #i drew this on the 29th but it takes me forever to acc post my drawings lol #but i'm still kinda stunned by how different these are.... #almost exaactly 1 year apart #not just w the way i drew her or even the design #but the style itself! #and my process nowadays #honestly this style of coloring / shading is still vv new to me #like idk it's just what seemed to make sense w the sketchier lines #++ the more design-y elements... i like those :) #i liked doing the flower part #fun fact i was orignally just going to leave the black border as a solid color #but idk i think i just can't abide by so much unbroken solid color lol #so i repeated the bg pattern on it too !

[v7n5]

"Ikea girl, wake up.

Let's go celebrate being reborn.

Meet me downstairs."

Happy very extremely severely late Lunar New Year.

I got this idea when Lunar New Year was still going on but it's only now that I can draw it out.

Idk how Americans would celebrate Lunar New Year's eve given that it'd be daytime when the clock strikes 12, but I make these two do it anyway because I can.

Of course they both would almost catch on fire while playing with the fireworks, and of course they would say something akin to "I love you" while huddling for warmth and feeding each other Chinese takeout.

I find the idea of Tyler for a period of time was brought up in a household that celebrated Lunar New Year rather wholesome.

Narrator got a broken arm may or may not because of Tyler/fight club, so just imagine their relationship has developed to the point of Tyler actually feeling bad for Narrator's injuries and wanting to recompense them. She would not make it obvious tho, but deep down Narrator knows.

#fem fight club #fight club #soapshipping #if the space monkeys were there they'd be playing the drums and cymbals #im a sap so i had to make them honor the one thing that's most fequently associated with femininity - the moon #nowadays my process of creating art consists of two steps: agonizing and banging my head on the wall. then do whatever that i need to do

[sunlit-mess]

Your art is genuinely so distinct. I used to follow you back in the dsmp days and it was such a huge inspiration for my own works. I saw your Hazbin artworks floating around and I was like "man that art looks so familiar" and I did the BIGGEST double take when I finally saw your username.

No idea what you've been through these last few months, but I hope you're doing well! For what it's worth, your art is one of the most distinct I've ever seen and it's so lovely.

Idk if you're the person who was drawing with a mouse and one layer but if you are, I hope you know that you are insane and I respect you so much for that lmao

Cheers!

SJFGHSFJK-- I LOVE UUU- and yes, I am that person HAHAA!

I have a graphic pen tab now! ::)

#messyr #I finally bought a pentab using my leftover savings from last year's april like- i saw it was on SALE AND I had THE EXACT AMOUNT OF MONEY- #I still use a mouse whenever I'm outdoors or without my pentab ( or even when i just doodle) #my art style -- kinda changed but im trying to bring back the process i used to do in dsmp era. every work i did there was laced w/ passion #and dedication- honestly my works nowadays are-- not the same level as those drawings but i can make it work

[queerofthedagger]

finally finished the main editing round of this 30k fic and turns out now it's only 23k words long which like. i love deleting shit when editing, truly, but that's 7k words. can we not try and be concise the first time around like girl pls

#*mine #mona rambles #it's slightly higher percentage than usual but not that out there. it just gives me a minor crisis every time #like they had to go!! it's good they went!!! my editing process definitely has a lot of 'we can sum these 5 paragraphs up in 3 sentences!' #but lord. 7k words. at the speed i'm writing nowadays that's 3 nights worth of writing💀 #anyway ignore me #bagginshield angst coming to your ao3 sometime this week maybe #i still have two rounds to go but they're usually quicker at least

[wereh0gz]

I'm definitely not the only queer person who's kinda wary of Christian ppl they encounter online right?

Like I see a profile that clearly states they're Christian and they post like Bible verses and shit and I'm just. Hoping they're not queerphobic. Or saying some dumbass shit like "hate the sin love the sinner" or whatever while pretending that's not queerphobic

If they're interacting with me first it's pretty safe to assume they're not gonna be like that bc I'm very obviously queer (🏳️‍🌈 + pronouns in bio) but if it's someone who hasn't interacted with me at all I kind of instinctively avoid interacting with them out of fear of them being that way. Y'know

#ramblings #i think it's bc even tho i've never been religious and my family isn't like a super uptight christian family #i have encountered a preacher who was homophobic and transphobic before #he's puerto rican too which just makes me disappointed in my people tbh #i grew up surrounded by a lot of accepting ppl both within and outside of the family #as well as a couple gay/trans ppl #i was always taught that that's just the way some ppl are and that we should respect that #even if we didn't fully understand everything and weren't up to date with the latest most accepted terminology and stuff #ppl were just respectful and let others be themselves #so it's extremely hard for me to understand why other ppl would be queerphobic #i mean. i kinda get it. it what they were taught growing up. just how i was taught to be accepting and respectful #but why ppl would continue to teach that to their kids and perpetuate queerphobia is really what i don't get #like. accepting that ppl different from you exist and that's ok isn't going to kill you #maybe learn abt the world from other sources besides the bible and try to see different perspectives #instead of shutting yourself off to just one way of thinking and hurting ppl in the process #anyways. i think it's also bc i've seen too many really religious ppl on the internet who are also queerphobic #and they have these big platforms of ppl who support them and share their views #and like. i shouldn't generalize. but they paint an ugly image of christians in general #also like. christians throughout history don't have the cleanest track record #but i know a lot of christians nowadays aren't like that. in fact i'm willing to say most aren't #but still it's like. better be safe than sorry y'know #idk man

[everyone-calm-down]

I am dead fucking serious when I say that Disney should have made another Fantasia movie for the 100th anniversary rather than whatever they got going on with Wish.

#Disney #disney wish #disney 100 #disney fantasia #fantasia #what a perfect way to showcase where their animation and creativity is at #rather than trying to create a magnum opus on purpose #they could SHOW the new animation processes #SHOW the composers and musicians they’ve been using #SHOW the process of creativity they value nowadays #I’m FROTHING about this #aight I’ll get off my soap box now

[oscill4te]

"ethical killing" sounds like an oxymoron to me idk why

#will ponder on this #my brain just saw this term and went “??????” #txt #i dont think humans always have to be ethical we should just admit we do fucked up things sometimes idk.. like killing in this instance #although humans are the only creatures who even care about ethics. ethics are a “social construct” right? #anywho im gonna overthink and ponder for a while this fine morning #theres only a few instances where i see killing as ethical as in the good outweighs the bad but idk if i should list them #like would killing an abuser who brings only terror to the people around them be ethical? or #im talking like very very violently and sxually abusive. like an absolutely dangerous person. is it ethical? #anyway this whole thing was just in reference to killing animals for food and here i am overthinking #i guess ethical killing would mean no pain. at all. but is it ethical if the creature didn't consent to die and we inflict it anyway?e #like no matter how kindly we kill or how mucy the good outweighs the bad; is it “ethical”.. #anyway i still think sxual abusers should die yet i scoff at killing animals if we dont need to for survival #maybe something is wrong w me for these opinions idk lol yet. i still hold them #im willing to admit im maybe a bit of loon idc tho. even if “ethical killing” of animals is a thing we are so far removed from it nowadays #templin grandin tried her best to make the slaughter process less stressful but i don't know if its enough

[transboysokka]

Sometimes I think it's worth pointing out that ATLA originally came out when the US was fighting a war.

And tbh it wasn't just any war, it was an unjust war that came with this wild cultlike hypernationalistic brainwashing "Patriotism" that was frankly terrifying but so easy to get swept away in.

And as a kid to learn about morality through this kids' show and be like "haha wait the fire nation is the bad guys, but that's the same stuff we do!" was a very eye-opening experience i'm incredibly grateful for

#i could write an entire thesis on the relationship between media and the war on terror #and how young kids were affected a SHIT TON by 9/11 and everything that came after #like i think i mentioned before that i saw 9/11 happen live and NOBODY ever talked to me about it to help me process it #and i was a 7 year old autistic kid left to draw my own conclusions #and then when america started invading iraq and bombing baghdad #we watched THAT live on tv in my classroom #and honestly the whole situation was just so sick yeah dont get me started #but anyway i think its WILD that people even nowadays can watch these fictional empires like avatar and star wars and whatever #and ARENT immediately like 'hey thats kind of familiar' #ugh yeah anyway #atla #text

[b4kuch1n]

hey lads. I loathe the idea of doing a speedpaint just cause so I'm gonna put this one out there for a potential near-future thing. is there anything in my art you'd like elaborated on? concept to execution, anything inbetween, how I do ink, how I draw specific things, how I use references, anything’s game

#bakuspeech #nowadays if anyone asks abt speedpaints I usually point towards my stream vods but #I realise 1/I havent streamed any piece beginning to end for like at least a year lmao and #2/me on stream is decidedly not my most prepared to talk abt. anything really. that man is NOT lucid #so actually I have no materials to give folks who ask abt my process rn lol #and like. it's not gonna be easy for my level of intellect to summarize. I do NOT have the brain for this shit #I do some new bullshit every other day. my art for the last gig was close to nothing like what I do normally #so to make up a spine of what I should record myself is at its core impossible. I am just not very smart is the thing #so uh. I'm exporting this to u guys ksgjfsdh #if there's enough inquiries I'll get the video done! it'd be nice. I'd have the opportunity to learn how to edit videos for real #indulge this man I am in my ''make something idiot'' brain and I want to make something

[coollyinterferes]

Today, I offer you...

🌟 he 🌟

#[been thinking all day abt how much jona happily infodumps abt az/te/c culture and civilization on others if he gets the chance lol] #[especially when you take into account he canonly has some kind of morbid fascination with the dead and w/occult stuff (ie. the stone mask) #[probably had a blast the first time he tried pozole (a dish that seems it was popular in that culture and still is nowadays in mexico)] #[and he'd totally throw in the good ole ''did you know it's believed az/te/cs used actual human flesh instead of meat to make this?!''] #[he wouldn't do it in an ill-natured manner tho! he wouldn't try to upset others on purpose (and possibly ruin their meal in the process xd #[it'd be just his nerd ass infodumping and throwing some very dark facts/stuff bc he's so used to all of it lol] #[but yeah. i can definitely see why he got invested so much into all that stuff] #[it's just perfect for him] #[and yeah. i will be making a more formal post about all this sometime (if my pea brain doesn't forget to do it)] #;ooc tag #[stilllll feel free to interact with jona if you wish to! (regular jona. not micro!jona lol)] #[anyways.. had a bit of A Day] #[but at least i got to see some hal/low/een and dia de muertos stuff!] #[so that was good] #[i'm tired but i'll be working on replies] #[might not get any done tonight but they will be worked on nonetheless!] #[hope everyone's having a lovely day/night!! <3]

[j-ellyfish]

I know it's probably an unpopular opinion, but I don't mind that Hima keeps introducing new micronations (like Aerican Empire in the last chapters), it's interesting to discover nations you've never heard of and to discover their super small dimensions of place and population.

I too would love Hima to introduce nations from Africa or South America, but I think it takes a long time for that, to create a good representation that makes more or less everyone satisfied, especially with the design

It probably is, but I don't mind it either! Micronations are a fun concept to explore and I mean, how many of us even knew what they were before Hetalia? They're not my favorite characters (although I'm quite fond of Sealand), but they're cool.

Himaruya making Micronations doesn't take away from any other Country "needing" a character, I do appreciate that Himaruya doesn't feel compelled to create characters for the audience like a printing machine but does what he feels like doing, when he feels confident and knowledgeable enough to do it.

And honestly, if he doesn't find himself interested enough in the history of certain areas of the world (which might also be more sensitive subjects than like, Western Europe), it's also fine, it means he learned from his mistakes with South Korea.

Learning from mistakes doesn't necessarily mean having to work your butt off to study stuff you aren't interested in to please an audience, sometimes learning from mistakes simply means admitting that you don't currently feel ready (if ever) to do certain things and focusing on stuff you are actually passionate about instead.

Himaruya doesn't really owe anyone any new character, I know it's probably frustrating to not have a canon character for your Country or focus on the parts of history you like the most, but Himaruya should do what he feels like doing, not what he thinks he owes to an audience.

I do believe that creativity kind of dies when you start to think about what the fans (or the editors//) want more than listening to your own feelings and drive as a creator (and of course, by this I do not mean you shouldn't listen to criticism, which Himaruya does listen to, or hide behind this statement to feel free to be offensive - it simply means that creators shouldn't kneel down to their audience and make anything exactly how they want it even if it goes beyond creator's skills, experience or comfort zone - otherwise what they make is no longer art with a soul, but a mere product of marketing and capitalism, not wanting to tell a story but wanting to sell an object).

So I think it's always unfair to expect creators to feed us exactly what we want and how we want it, whether it's Himaruya/Hetalia or anyone/anything else.

#ask #one thing is complaining half-playfully that you want some stuff because you're starving for content about blorbo and stuff like that #but there are way too many people in this fandom nowadays who seem to literally hate Himaruya for what he does and how he does it #and I don't understand how they are still here #if you think creator is an idiot maybe you should just ditch the series he created instead of leeching off it and being offensive #towards him simply for being a different person than you are and thus clearly doing things differently than you would #and yes I also have my pet peeves about canon like I think most people who know me at this point are aware of me not being very happy with #HWS in general despite liking some parts of it #but I would never feel entitled to call Himaruya stupid for taking choices I wouldn't have taken or do things in a way I personally wouldn' #do #because I AM NOT HIMARUYA I CANNOT EXPECT HIMARUYA TO DO WHAT I WOULD DO #I absolutely respect him as a creator and I believe he should be the first person satisfied with what he does because a happy creator makes #good art - a frustrated and unhappy creator ends up feeling like art has become a homework and quality tends to drop #do I think Himaruya is being put a bit on a leash with HWS? Yes but if anything I feel bad for him bc I suspect this #I would absolutely never insult him for it because as fans we only know a small part of his process and all the behind-the-scenes decisions #creative thinking workflow and Hima's private life stay behind the scenes where I rightfully can't see them #so I have no right to treat him like the village clown - NO ONE DOES

[marinsawakening]

My last remaining shred of rationality: Hey you know the point you stopped enjoying writing matches up perfectly with the start of your severe chronic depression. Perhaps this may have had an influence?

Me: Nonsense. I'm doing something wrong and if I could just figure out what it is I'd enjoy writing again. This is a skill issue.

#[looks into the camera like i'm on the office] #writing has been akin to pulling nails for years and I know it doesn't have to be this way. I used to enjoy writing #nowadays the shreds of genuine enjoyment I get from the process are so few and far between they're barely worth mentioning #man. I just want to enjoy writing again #negative // #my posts #sorry folks for being a bit of a bummer lately i'm having a rough time

[marrowminded]

spicy childhood memories for morgan (and anya, however wee she may have been...)

in summary; a whole slew of convoluted tragedies took place over the course of the first 8 years of Morgan’s life - her birth (unplanned), the death of her maternal great-grandmother, Theophania, and the subsequent responsibility placed upon her father as new liaison of the town to the outside world; Anya’s birth was also unplanned, and shortly thereafter, their maternal grandmother Marta died by goading Marrow into killing her. Publicly, violently, and with Morgan’s mother attempting to intervene. Morgan and Anya may not have seen it happen, but they heard enough to get the idea. Marta refused the pact when she came of age, and loathed Marrow for the hold he had over her own mother’s attention and life, but respected him as an equal and a fair beast, if a selfish one. When she found herself rapidly spiraling downward in both health and mental fortitude a bit ahead of her time, she decided if she was going out, she’d rather go out on her own terms - and who better to rip you from this domain than the one who oversees it?

#my art #fairwell family values #morgan #anya #marta #marrow #i'm just sitting in the sandbox making castles while morgan is in volcano hell #marrow eats the fairwells when they die anyways #she's just speedrunning the process #blood #blood tw #gore #gore tw #teeth #eyes #yes he is crying #sentimental old dog #this does not trouble morgan TOO much nowadays but it sure did when she was younger #until she found out marrow hadn't just murked her grandma #for fun #morgan backstory

[todayisafridaynight]

would you guys still like me if i rambled about my cringe crackship

#snap chats #masadai #yeah ill ramble down here im not brave for the main text #see this is my version of a read more the main text is just a warning #anyway main text is semi a lie i am rambling bout masadai but just mostly bout sawashiro cause Shotgun Dad is my favorite #oh im sleep so im going to be even more incomprehensible than normal #like like like like sit here and be delusional with me alright. '95-2000's era right. #jo knows masato- as a civvie- tries to keep outta yakuza shit (with the exception of ichi helpin him at least) #so can you imagine bro having to process the fact now his son's Apparently entangled not just with a yakuza's son but SOHEI'S #bitch ass sohei who get necked and since then his bitch ass son's been going on a bitch ass rampage as a street thug #How The Fuck Did Those Two Happen but w/e. if masato's happy jo'll Begrudgingly not do anything. on the surface. #i know he's already having some poor arakawa grunt tail daigo until dude inevitably notices and beats his ass #and hes def not goin back to sawashiro a failure bro's getting outta town 💀 but yeah point is jo dont exactly have. The Highest Opinion #we all saw my masumi and daigo comic right. we all know i think masumi adopts daigo at some point cause the seeds of that are here #masumi knows whats goin on in his own house he knows jo's being ill so he prob just assures him daigo's not That Bad of a kid #he wouldnt hurt masato anyway. listen if theres a fight he knows his son's starting it He Loves Him but he knows how he is #and daigos way too soft spoken and like. Depressed Rn to really instigate anything unless prompted #either way jo's still edgy- prob isn't too stoked to hear news daigo's in jail after he an aoki get back to japan in '04 either #but no listen there's a turnaround OBVIOUSLY for one thing aoki and daigo could never date nowadays #but now daigos become chairman and ?? he isnt a single thing like sohei and he isn't at all how jo initially thought he'd be #he might make awkward decisions sometimes but considering the cards he's dealt he's not doing TERRIBLE #jo's designated to hang with aoki most of the time anyway so even if he did have any lingering grievances theyre not something to worry bout #too late to give that blessing tho For Starters bro's living a new life now and Secondly he's getting everyone evicted in ten years 💀💀 #thats the end of my ramble sorry everyone. if i had more time nd energy to draw nowadays i prob woulda just drawn somethin quick and dummy #but alas. i do not. potentially more text posts to come because of this because i very much am still mentally ill #i love masadai i love making shit up its actually so fun #im bad at writing full on fics so the spark notes version <3 ok im sleeping now bye

[dexaroth]

have a bit of a ghost muscle thing in the midpoint of my feet where a thumb should be. like daron. its like theres this miniscule bit of leftover muscle i can contract there..

#when i was in the starting process of becoming disabled i used to pick up stuff from the ground with my foot. like socks n shit. #every year i get to know myself a bit more and that reflects on daron too. he used to have 'normal' wolf paws for feet #and nowadays that feels so strange to me. it feels really wrong.. #something about the mushed-up together paws made for just running while the character has human hands #kind of body horror in a way ngl. even though thats literally what human feet are #previously hands able to grasp slowly shaped into a brick that makes it way easier to run #let me return to monky!!! sob #dextxt

[answrs]

in better news, I don't want to jinx any of it by talking too much about it but im getting an MRI soon to see if there's anything else they need to remove besides the obvious (read: uterine cell clusters growing on my spine or other organs) in an upcoming long-awaited surgery

pretty sure the doctor is sure I'm in/actively seeking a lesbian relationship so my theoretical cis partner can carry our also-theoretical children instead of me needing to though, lmao.

I didn't bother correcting her¹ since A) I didn't want to argue the existence of my sexuality/gender identity when I didn't have to and possibly compromise her "okay" on the surgery, B) I didn't even know she did anything besides endo tissue removal, but apparently it's a lot easier to do both yeetings at the same time through the same hole, C) she's apparently one of the top doctors in the state for these surgeries, and D) I can skip the endless wait-list and begging for a doctor to do this as its own separate surgery.

also like. apparently it's easier for insurance billing to get this stuff covered if you do it all at once? I'm taking her word on that atm, I don't have anywhere near the spoons to dig through coverages right now. I'll definitely be following up on it after the scan and obviously will need a written pre-approval for the whole shebang in general, just not dealing with it right now before we know if the scope of it is larger than expected (rogue cell clusters outside the lining they're usually in). if nothing else, it means I'm only having to pay the non-covered amount for the hospital/surgeon/anesthesiologist/hundred-dollar-bandaids/etc *once* instead of twice.

¹ [ I *did* mention it wasn't a sudden "yes" decision, that I've been wanting this since I was like seventeen, and gave the Noble Sacrifice™ "I wouldn't want any child to have to deal with my fucked up genetic issues/disabilities and the pain that comes with them just because I wanted a kid of my own" Speech. which dgmw is legitimately true, and I believe it wholeheartedly! but it sure as hell ain't my main reason for wanting this shit gone, ya feel. ]

[also fuck that obgyn that told me this doctor was mean and terrible, this is only like the third doctor in nearly thirty years that's bothered to actually listen to me and what my concerns about my health and treatment options were. she actually pulled up diagrams and photos to make sure I understood everything about it and answered all the questions I could think to ask her.]

#medical talk stuff so I'm locking rbs #also getting a whole-ass organ removed is apparently an outpatient surgery nowadays??? #tbf i haven't looked into it for like a decade and even back as a teen i didn't have much research information about the actual process #because I was always told it was impossible to get if you didn't have 2.5 kids and a husband already. which I obviously wasn't gonna have #i didn't want to get my hopes up bc I was told vehemently it would never happen and I'd never be allowed to have it