#and then they add the ambiguous sex scene that makes you feel terrible

[bthump]

Graphic and somewhat crude discussion regarding the eclipse rape here so fair warning.

rereading the eclipse, and also keeping in mind the recently translated interview where Miura apparently said that Casca may have derived pleasure from the rape if it was Griffith perpetrating it… I’m starting to honestly think that maybe the actual authorial intent of the scene was indeed to convey Casca experiencing emotional and physical pleasure from the rape. This could explain the eroticized portrayal to some degree. It’s still obviously problematic as hell but I think it makes it slightly more… acceptable? (not really but idk how else to phrase this sorry) that it was drawn that way, because then it means there was some actual reason behind the rape being portrayed that way and it wasn’t just done for the hell of it yk? But then again I find the supposed reason itself very disturbing and problematic and don’t see how it adds any meaning to the story. Slan saying “love, hatred, pain, pleasure, life, death, all are there”. I think is also indicative of this… I mean I don’t think anyone else could be feeling pleasure in that moment other than Casca. Femto possibly? Feeling spiteful pleasure at hurting guts? Guts, certainly not. It’s also suggestive that slan says this and it cuts to Casca in a sexualised pose. It’s obvious Casca had an orgasm or at the very least felt some physical pleasure based on all the effects on the page (the shudder/shake/twitch, sparkles on the page, sparkles on her nipples after femto sucks them, the highly eroticized poses, her blushing…). Also the fact that right after casca tells guts not to look, she raises up her arms to wrap them around Griffith (her arms aren’t restrained at this point) and seemingly willingly kisses him. I just.. the framing of the scene makes it kind of undeniable to me that miura was trying to portray Casca experiencing pleasure. In this scene casca is drawn very similarly to Charlotte during her consensual sex scene with Griffith. And obviously the matter of consent in the Charlotte scene itself is also dubious, but as you’ve explained previously it’s clearly not intended to be seen narratively as such (it’s just miura and his unfortunate portrayal of these things). It’s like miura was deliberately trying to blur the lines here, to what end I don’t know. Obviously the rape was still traumatic for her. But I really hope it’s not supposed to be understood that the main reason she was traumatised to the extent of her mind being broken and regressed to that of a toddler was because she also enjoyed it and couldn’t take the humiliation and shame of this, which I’ve seen many suggest. I think her telling guts not to look before kissing femto lends itself to this idea though. However, like I said, I just don’t see the value in this to the story? Or to Casca as a character? Or any character for that matter? The alternative is that miura drew the rape scene in this way for no reason, or even to be titillating which is equally as terrible to me. Maybe worse

Sorry I know this ask is graphic and kind of tactless. I understand if you don’t want to post it

link to the interview for reference

lol honestly you pointing it out is the first time in several re-reads that I actually noticed that Casca wraps her arms around Femto of her own volition. It's definitely a fact that Casca had an orgasm during the rape scene, so to me there's no doubt that she was experiencing physical pleasure. The idea that she was experiencing some amount of emotional pleasure too is more ambiguous, but yeah with that quote from Miura and the panels of her wrapping her arms around Femto it does seem pretty undeniable that that's also intended an element of the scene, though idk if it quite reaches the level of text, rather than implication.

And yeah like, I get what you're getting at, and I think it makes sense. It sucks either way, but if we're meant to understand the porny eroticization of the Eclipse rape as a context clue that Casca's not just feeling unwanted physical pleasure but also some amount of emotional fultillment, then yeah it arguably works better on a strict storytelling level.

Though if it was Miura's intent to show that Casca is torn emotionally between desire and horror, idk if I'd make that argument because I think that would be much more effective if we were shown/told more directly that Casca is feeling confused emotions (perhaps hearing her thoughts from her point of view) while being visually shown the horror, to match the rest of the Eclipse, and to prioritize the horror in the hierarchy of confused emotions.

As is, if we assume Casca is feeling desire for Griffith/Femto, to me the eroticization of the rape could be more indicative of Guts' feelings while watching - maybe Guts interpreting it through a lens of jealousy? I think that could potentially be effective if, like, it had any bearing on the story/characters/relationships at all lmao. If it was something Guts had to deal with, something that impacted his feelings towards Casca, something that was depicted as a major flaw to overcome, and potentially something shown from Guts' point of view as erotic but shown as horrific when in an objective (or even Casca's, if we got hers) pov, etc.

Buuuut it's all pretty moot anyway lol because like you said, what's the value? As it is, it's not a well-done depiction of complicated emotions. I agree that it would suck a lot if that was intended to be the reason for Casca's regression lol, like yeesh, it'd be absolutely dismal and I really hope that's not the case. It seems to have had no bearing on Guts' feelings or decisions, in fact it hasn't been referred to at all. We're only infering Casca's mixed feelings right now based on like two panels of Casca lifting her arms and one Miura interview, so if it is meant to have an impact on the story/characters then it should probably actually be textual and yk, have an impact.

So yeah, ultimately I agree with your conclusion that it's bad either way. Personally I think I'd actually prefer a more straightforward "Femto rapes Casca and Casca is plain old horrified and traumatized and it's sexy because it's in a magazine aimed at horny men" interpretation than the story making Casca confused emotionally and doing nothing with it except adding some eroticism, because without any impact on the story/characters it feels less like the eroticism is a way of underscoring Casca's mixed feelings, and more like Casca's potential mixed feelings are a way of justifying the eroticism while adding even more misogynist and otherwise problematic baggage to the rape scene and not even doing anything with it.

Or maybe even worse, doing something with it now that Casca's in Falconia. Because I gotta say I have negative faith in the ability of anyone involved to write this kind of thing well lmao and I am horrified at the prospect.

Thanks for the ask! And no worries, it's a difficult subject to discuss but I don't think you were tactless about it at all!

#ask #anonymous #b #a #scene: eclipse rape #theme: critique #theme: misogyny

[light-purp-insect]

Do you do scenarios or headcanons? If so, how many characters can we request for scenarios or headcanons? Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily? Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex? Would you do NSFW requests? For Baldur's Gate 3 requests, would you mind if we don't specify the race/class to leave it ambiguous or if we ask specify the race/class like human/healer? What kinks would you accept for requests? Thank you in advance!

Hello, and thank you so very much for your questions anon! I'll be answering them as they were asked, numbered of course.

1. I do both scenarios and head-canons, scenarios trying to fit more into canon while head-canons are simply my rambles. Occasionally I will move away from canon if I'm writing a fic for specifically me in mind, such as a birthday fic I'm working on with Kar'niss that involves chocolate covered strawberries, something that he probably in his current state would not get nutrition from or even enjoy

2. Usually I would prefer if people would keep asks for multiple characters below five, but I'm not upset if someone wants to add a sixth if they really are curious. On that note, you can ask for all of the different versions of a character that I write for without worry of numbers, for example you could ask for every version of Jervis Tetch I write for and I would be more than happy to write it.

3. I would adore doing the same prompt for multiple characters, it means I get to analyze how they would act in the same environments and how it would effect them. (For context I love doing experiments in real life and writing usually can satisfy my cravings for science in a way.)

4. I will write for next to anything. I don't like putting limitations on what I write. There are things that I won't write because I either don't have enough knowledge on or because I personally don't like it and refuse to directly make my blog unsafe for people with 'unsavory' kinks. In my notes and warnings in my tagged post, I said I don't write for noncon/rape yet and probably won't. Now does that mean I won't write it in the future or that I think writing it is inherently abhorrent and terrible? Absolutely not, I just said that my blog is safe for people who have kinks that others don't like. The only thing I could see myself rejecting every time is direct, blood related incest, because I am the youngest of several brothers (not all blood related, but I'm lenient on stepcest because I know it is a kink for some and therefore don't mind writing it as much) and I just don't really think I could do it. Similarly, I don't really like minor x adult smut because it's just something I don't think I could do. I would do ageplay no problem, just not direct smut of a minor character.

5. I absolutely do poly ships x reader. Once again in my pinned I mentioned I'm not ready to write character x character just yet, mainly because I just enjoy x reader fics too much! However I am warming up to the idea of character x character slowly, so it might change.

6. I really don't mind if you would like an AU, but I don't always know how I feel about writing for AUs made by different people. For that I usually would want to consult the creator of the AU and let them decide.

7. I do suggestive(heated flirting/makeouts), implied (such as pre-smut scenes and even post-smut scenes, all such sweet things!), any mentions of sex (for example a character could bring up a past experience with the reader or with another person), and pretty much anything else really. All posts like these are tagged as explicit for safety.

8. Once again considering my pinned, I write smut and NSFW, just not as often. But don't let that ever stop you from asking! Like no. 7 all NSFW is tagged as explicit for safety.

9. You can specify race and class or leave it ambiguous. If you would want, you could even send me a picture of your Tav/Durge for a reference when writing. Or if you don't actually have the game you can message me privately (or send an ask describing them, that's perfectly fine too)

10. Like I said in some earlier answers, I will write for next to everything. Kink is an integral part of writing, and deeming a kink as 'bad' is not welcomed here.

And please, may everyone take into consideration that I am still a new writer. If I don't write for your ask it's either because I didn't want to/didn't know how to, am in the process of writing it and had a burnout, or any number of reasons. The block button is my best friend and it should be yours too, and I will block if you make me uncomfortable.

#Av answers questions

[bangtanfancamp]

Champagne Silk | KNJ

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⋅summary: Almost year ago, you became the arranged bride of the most powerful man in the city, Kim Namjoon, but this morning, with you, he’s just a man who’s head over heels for you who can’t help getting lost thinking about his future with you.

Alternatively: no matter how powerful a man Namjoon is, he is still a klutz in the kitchen. A sexy klutz though.

⋅ author’s masterlist

⋅part two of the Silk series ( read part 1 here)

⋅also the second installment of breakfast with bangtan series (masterlist here)

⋅pairing: mafia!namjoon x reader

⋅genre: mafia! au, arranged marriage! Au, smut, fluff, angst, established relationship

⋅word count: 15.5k words

⋅rating: mature

⋅warnings: a generous amount of consensual sexual activities 🙃, brief scene of oral sex, impregnation kink, a shared bath tub, multiple instances of christiana being uncomfortable with using proper technical names for genitalia and being intentionally ambiguous instead. (honestly it’s more tame and wholesome than you think but god, if these two aren’t hot for each other )

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“Damn it.” 

The sound comes rumpled from the other side of the kitchen, like someone’s trying to keep it hidden. It’s so subdued and muttered that around anyone else, it might have been successfully hidden. But not right now. And certainly not with you. Because you know the distinct, adorable huff of your husband’s regret in an instant.

“You all right over there, darling?” There’s an innocence in your voice to hide your humor.

“Promise you won’t laugh if I tell you?” 

“Oh, unfortunately I can do no such thing, my love. You’ll just have to brave the odds and tell me.” 

Your smile is benevolent, but unyielding. You politely, pleasantly even, refuse to give him another option, and he knows it. It’s that simple. Even with his back to you, he knows the jig is up. As he hunches with heavy shoulders, he sighs and mutters something too low for you to pick up at first.

“Once more for the people in the back, yeah?” You tease.

“I said, I spilled wine on everything,” he exhales. 

His voice is tinged in shades of caramel, rich with resignation, as he confesses, stepping aside so you can see the mess he’s made. 

“Oh, Joon.” 

A terribly bright fondness pulls your lips into a smile as your clumsy giant sheepishly ducks his head across the room. His once pristine white shirt, his linen pants and your white antique tablecloth are all freshly dip dyed in swirls of Pinot Grigio and rosé.

“I know. I know. You don’t have to say it.” His eyes flit down to the stack of too many wine glasses slotted between his large fingers that have spilled their bounty across every available fabric surface.

“You have no idea what I’m about to say,” you point out graciously.

Crossing the room, you tip up on your toes to press a tender kiss to the spots where his jolly dimples would show if he weren’t so flustered. 

“MmmHmm. Sure I don’t.” He squints at you while you slip one glass at a time out of his grip and reach for a cloth.

“Precisely. You shouldn’t assume, Namjoon. You know what they say.” You smirk, wetting the cloth with water you know will be too frigid for him to stand in this half asleep state he’s in, but the stains have got to go.

“And what exactly do they say?” His large palms dip to rest on his hips as he braces for your commentary.

“Simply that assumptions only make an ass out of you and me so…”

His nose scrunches in distaste, even as he starts to laugh. “What a beastly phrase. I forget how much delicacy Americans have.” 

“Oh heaps of it. More than they know what to do with, really.” You shrug as you wring out the cloth. “Positively genteel. Is that not why you chose to marry one?” You add with a wry smile.

Glancing down at the bands on your finger, you warm at the way they glisten in the bits of lazy Sunday light filtering through the window. Namjoon’s glints golden across the room as he waits for your rescue. Both still new enough to feel like a novelty. Enough to make a small light inside you beam with pride whenever you catch sight of it.

“I chose to marry the only one I could find who was quick enough to get the stains I make out before they set and sweet enough not to give me grief for it.” He arches an eyebrow down at you in challenge as you slip one hand past the deeply undone row of buttons on his shirt to pull the fabric up and away from his skin as you begin to gently blot at the wine.

“Oh no. Well, I hate to inform you of this, but unfortunately, I’m actually 0 for 2 in those qualifications. But I will sincerely try my best since you’ve placed so much trust in me.” You chuckle as you set to work. “Would it be helpful if I mention what a smart wife you have to have ixnayed buying that cabernet sauvignon you wanted so badly, especially given your current predicament?”

Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to your forehead before dipping to press his nose against your own while shaking his head. 

“No. Not in the slightest.”

“See? That’s good to know. Would have been awful if I mentioned the Merlot I put back too then. Can you imagine? Could have been so unseamly.”

He laughs, smiling against your hairline. “Well, what would have been the point of whisking my bride all the way out to a little villa in wine country and inviting guests only to not serve them red wine?”

“The point would have been you not turning into the kool-aid man whenever said wine inevitably spilled all over you. Case in point.” You look up at him through wide, fluttered lashes as you press the icy cold cloth against a particularly bold splatter on his chest. The frigid water grazes his nipple through his thin shirt and your giant of a man winces like he was wounded on the playground.

“Hey, that’s freezing.” He moves to swat your hand away. 

“Would you rather just take this off then? So I can work properly,” You smirk.

“No,” he sighs. “That would just be colder.” 

He looks so adorable right now. The lavender locks you’d once loved so well have been replaced, faded into a dusty blonde instead. His thick hair, usually coiffed so neatly, so perfectly, is currently disheveled entirely. Bits that had been gently curated to frame his face the night before are now plastered to his forehead, others shooting off at odd angles, all from falling asleep on the couch beside you once your dinner guests finally left late last night. 

He’s still in last night's now stained and rumpled clothes, still looking absolutely divine with the sleeves cuffed against his elegant forearms and his now wide open neckline thanks to the buttons undone all the way down past his rib cage.

His body is every bit a grown man, but his sleepy features- those wide eyes and pouted lips- make him look every bit the little boy you saw once in his mothers photo albums the week of the wedding. Big Namjoon still makes the same faces when he makes a mess as little Namjoon, and it makes your heart squeeze in your chest.

“Don’t be such a weenie,” you tease. 

“Careful who you tease, woman. You’re the only one in this city who forgets how many people are afraid of me.”

“This city is half a day’s drive away. There’s no one to fear you here,Joonie. Besides, your enemies have clearly never seen how quickly you’d fall in a battle against the cold or else you would have been displaced ages ago,” you tease with a twinkle in your eyes as he narrows his at you.

“I don’t think you’d like ice water on your breasts first thing in the morning either.” He huffs under his breath.

“You never know til you try,” you wink.

“Would you like to try?” His eyes rake over you salaciously despite the tenderness in his smile. 

“No, I can’t say that I do,” you chuckle, pushing a palm against his chest. “Besides, it’s hardly first thing in the morning, Joon. It’s almost noon.” You nod toward the clock.

There’s still sleep in his voice when he laughs, the sounds rich and resonant where it blooms from his chest. “Well, it’s still morning for me when we didn’t fall asleep til well after 3 because our guests don’t know when to leave.”

You smile to yourself at the memory of time spent with your friends. Well, more accurately Namjoon’s friends, i.e. the members of his crew who have become like family to both of you. Namjoon’s been on the move so much with work lately that there’s been no time to simply sit and enjoy their company. You were in raptures when he suggested they join you for dinner last night.

“It was so good to see Hoseok and Jungkookie though. Their new girlfriends seem so sweet.” 

Namjoon’s gaze seems far off somewhere as he listens to you.“They do, don’t they? JK’s seemed spunky too. She’s good for him.” 

“I think so too. He spent half the night blushing- he was so happy. It was good to see him so over the moon for once, that little romantic.”

Namjoon smiles, a soft thing nestled in the pocket of his cheek, full of fondness for the youngest of his friends. “Yeah, I’m glad he finally found someone so good for him.” 

Pulling you in, he kisses you gently, once, twice before pressing his lips to the top of your forehead, an unspoken “as good as you are for me” hidden his warm brown eyes.

“Big softie,” you whisper, reaching up to cradle his face, thumb brushing over his cheeks. He tips his face toward your palm to plant a kiss there too, his lips just brushing the inside of your wedding band as you smile.

“For you? Always.”

“For me? It was the food last night. God, That charcuterie board Jin brought was positively masterful.” The memory alone has your mouth watering. “Such a shame it was all gone so soon though.”

“Ooo, speaking of,” Namjoon slips out of your grip to rustle around in the kitchen behind you. “Not quite.” 

“What did you do?” You narrow your eyes at him as you settle into a wooden chair to start tending to the swirling stains on the tablecloth.

“Oh, the best thing. Husband of the year level best thing.”

“Husband of the year? Can't wait to see this then. Very moderate expectations, indeed.”

With his back to you, you can’t see what he’s up to, but you can certainly hear it. Especially the low grunt when his hip snags on the new island counter. This poor man was clearly made for a different life than this old world kitchen provides. You wonder which will go first, your husband or the architectural detail. You chuckle to yourself until you realize exactly what it is he’s carrying.

“Kim Namjoon, is that-?”

“A mini stolen charcuterie board? You bet it is,” he winks your way, and a storm of winged things flutter in your stomach.

“How did you even-“

“When you had everyone gathered in the backyard, and Jimin tripped over the cord for the string lights.”

“I’ll never know how such a graceful man can cause such disasters. Or how you managed to befriend the only other man on earth as poised and clumsy as you all at once,” you chuckle, stealing a fig from the corner of the board as he peels back the plastic film covering it. “Oh my god, that’s so good.”

“Mmm Hmm. I knew you thought so,” he taps you on the nose lovingly. “You always ask Jin to make these for you, and then you’re always so sad when all twelve people you invite make it vanish in half an hour.”

“I know. I know. It would go farther if there were fewer people to share it with, but Joon, the boys are like family. I haven’t seen them all together in so long. I couldn’t bear to leave anyone out.”

There’s a twinkle glinting in his eyes as he smiles down at you. He’s glad to see how soft your heart somehow remains despite the life you both lead. 

“Which is precisely why I took the liberty of stashing some of this bounty away while the guests were busy and saving it for you.” 

When he smiles at you like that, all softened edges and warm brown eyes, it’s impossible not to fall in love with him all over again. It’s not like you’ve forgotten how kind he is or how striking he can be when he smiles. It’s simply that the more you see it, the more in love you become.

Rising up in your chair, you reach across the table to tenderly cradle his cheek.

“I hate to say this, because then you’ll know you were right, but this is really is an excellent submission for husband of the year. I would like to point out, though, that you are welcome to make as many entries as you’d like before the panel comes to a consensus, you know.” 

He smiles so wide that his eyes get lost in their beautifully crinkled edges. “I’ll keep it in mind. Now, they do say that you should play toward the judge’s preferences. Would you happen to know any? To help me get that inside edge.”

“Now, now. I can’t help you cheat. You’ll have to conduct your own research.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely. We have a strict moral code. They’d ruin me if I let that sort of intel slip.” You tilt your chin up in defiance despite your smirk and laughing eyes.

“Hmm. We can’t have that, can we? Shame. I really thought this was going to be my year.”

“Do you really think the only way you’d win is to cheat? Come now...it can still be your year if you play your cards right.”

Your hand drifts up to his carelessly perfect hair, fingers gliding through it and tugging a bit near his scalp. One of his favorite ways to receive affection you’ve found out this past year. His lids fall heavy before he can catch them, a small hiss catching behind his teeth that means you’ve done it right.

“Careful. You don’t know what you might be starting.” His eyes wander the edges of your lips, trace the frame of your collarbone.

“I’d never take the risk if I wasn’t ready to face the consequences.” The twist of your lips is subtle, as gentle as the seduction you’ve learned is your forte. 

Namjoon licks his lips, the lower one snagging in his teeth as his eyes drift over you. Without breaking his gaze, he takes a champagne grape from the board and lifts it to your lips. You can feel your pulse flutter and quicken beneath your skin. It always does when he eyes you like that.

The man might as well be a snake charmer for all the control you feel like you have over yourself right now as your mouth parts of its own accord for him. But just before the fruit can graze your lips, his grin widens- wicked with delight- as he decides to pop it in his own mouth instead.

His dimples are so deep as he laughs at your flustered state that you wish you could crawl inside them and hide.

“Ha Ha. Very funny, Joon. Tease the woman you claim to love. Excellent way to keep a happy wife.” 

Rolling your eyes, you push off from the table, fully intent on doing... you have no idea what, exactly. All you know is that you need to get away from this table as fast as you can before you knock the carefully preserved remnants of this charcuterie board to the floor and take him on the table.

 The blush that was rushing to your cheeks is now crashing in your ears and all you can think to do is “go,” but before you can get even half a step too far, Namjoon’s warm, impossibly large hand is already wrapping itself around your wrist and grounding you to your spot.

“All I want is a happy wife,” he laughs. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I thought I made that pretty clear from the first day.”

Slowly, he stands as his hand trails its way down to dance across your palm before lacing your fingers with his. 

“Certainly doesn’t feel like it right now,” you pout, despite the excitement thrumming in your veins. You know that look on his face now. The one that’s evil and beautiful, sincere and serpentine. The one that wants to devour you playfully. To love you even as he ruins you.

“Oh no,” he tsks. “That won’t do.” 

Suddenly, he snaps you to him, his hands fastening themselves to the dip in your waist. You gasp, the force making you brace against his smooth, exposed chest to catch yourself.

“It won’t?” Your voice comes out airy, too thin, as the morning breeze billows through the open windows. 

“No. Not at all. So I wanna know: how can I fix this, baby?” His eyes are possessed by something wicked as one hand leaves your waist to trace a thumb over your parted mouth.

“I- I”

“Shh, I made this mistake. I’ll make it right.” He arches a single brow as his tongue wets his lips, and your brain loses any grip on rational thinking.

“And h-how do you plan to do that?” It’s a whisper- too breathy, too barely coherent. His hands are so warm. His touch is like lightning and suddenly even breathing requires too much energy with the way you feel like you’ve shorted out.

“I don’t know. You tell me, baby.” His knuckle tips it’s way under your chin, tilting your face up to his as you follow in obedience.

“But… I thought… I told you. The judge can’t help.” You swallow, lashes fluttering shut as his breath ghosts over your lips.

“Then she can’t get what she wants,” he challenges.

“Fair enough. That’s fair.” Your head bobbles in assent. 

“So I’ll try this again,” his face dips down until his mouth rests just below your ear. “What do you want, baby?”

You feel lightheaded as you melt in hands, rushing out the words, “Counter. Now. Please.”

 Your expression folds in on itself in satisfaction when Namjoon grips you around the waist and plants you on the kitchen island without a moment's hesitation. You gasp, airy and quick, before his palm is fitted against the curve of your throat with just the amount of pressure he’s learned that you like.

“Good girl. Open your legs for me, baby.”

A muffled inhale later, your knees have parted where you’re sat on the island and Namjoon is fitted between them, his hips to the counter as he kisses you in earnest. 

“Oh my god,” you gasp as his tongue and open mouth work their way down your throat, painting wide open blossoms of scarlet and blush along the way. Your hands are in his hair, at his scalp, tugging and grabbing to bring him back to your kiss. His taste is tinged salty and sweet from your skin and the grapes, and your thighs wrap themselves tight around the narrow slope of him.

He’s gotten so broad since the wedding day. If you had trouble composing yourself around him then god only knows how you’ve survived the past year. His shoulders seem wider, his arms more substantial, his chest impossibly inviting as you claw at the last remaining buttons of his dress shirt. 

“Off. Off. Take this off.” You push at the sleeves that bunch around the arcs of his newly swollen biceps, taking a moment to drink in how beautiful they are as you clutch at his golden skin. 

“So eager now. What happened to my shy girl?” His voice is teasing, light, but his eyes look proud of you.

“You did things like this to her, and now she can’t get enough.” Your mouth fits itself to the beautiful stretch of bare skin beneath his ear, suckling the indescribable taste of him before traveling down his throat and across his jaw.

He laughs, something deep and melodic, before his fingers begin to glide over your collarbone and dance over your arms, featherlight, like he always does when he’s trying to rile you up.

“Should I get this out of our way then?” His fingers tug at the slim straps of your champagne blush dress. You’d worn it especially for him at last night’s party. You’d never forgotten his affinity for your skin draped in silk.

“Why? Don’t you like it?”

“Of course I do, baby. It’s perfect.”

“Then why do you want me to take it off?”

 Your voice is sticky sweet with innocence, but Namjoon knows better. He doesn’t know where you got the wherewithal to tease him right now as he holds you pressed against his growing warmth, but when your eyes flick to his, he knows you’ve made the right choice. He likes it when you challenge him. It makes it more fun when he wins.

“So I can do this,” he grins with a flash of his teeth.

Without missing a beat, he’s slipped both straps clean off your shoulders, leaving the dress to pool around your hips, and scoops one of your soft breasts gently into his mouth. Your breath comes sharp, a stuttered, inhaled moan that tastes as sweet to him as the ripened figs on the tray. Deliciously priceless. 

He still can’t get over you. He doesn’t think he ever could. He’s never reached a point where the sounds you make fail to set his world ablaze. He’d like nothing more than to make drawing them out of you every morning just like this his sole profession.

Reverently, his other hand brushes up your side to cradle your other breast beside it. God, they’re so soft. Namjoon is almost ashamed to admit how infatuated he is with your breasts.  It would be embarrassing if you weren’t equally in love with receiving all the attention he gives them.

What can he say? He’s a simple man. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world to him and for him? They’re perfect. Even with all the exploration the two of you have shared this past year, he knows this part of your body has got to be his favorite- your skin there is so velvet smooth and supple, so delicately sensitive, so perfectly sized for him to devour to his heart's content.

As his tongue warms the tender skin of your nipple with affection, and his thumb steadily plays with the other, he feels the muscled grip of your thighs tighten against him. The sounds you make for him as you clutch at the edge of the granite might as well be a symphony. He loves you like this. Wild and coming undone at his touch and attention. No one in the world but you and him.

“J-joon, baby.. I-“

Looking up at you through heavy eyes, entirely impressed with himself, he smiles and flicks his tongue against you again. When the jolt makes you jump, he stands to his full height above you, and sets his hands back on your sides.

“What is it, baby? You have to tell me.”

Your brows crumple in softly as you look up at him through your lashes. If you could speak, you would, but the way he plays you like an instrument with no effort at all always seems to dispose of your grace.

“But Namjoon…”  you’re trying and failing to catch your breath as both his thumbs come to lazily torment the soft swells of your chest. 

“You know what you like. You know what you want. Just tell me.”

You’ve barely got enough breath to function as it is, let alone to form a sentence. “But baby, I can’t…”

“Then I’m afraid you can’t have it.” He tuts. “Not if you can’t ask.” 

His grin is wicked, and as much you want to drown in it, something in you wants to wipe it off his pretty face.

“Not… fair…”

He runs his tongue over his teeth as he smiles.

“Really? Because to me, what’s not fair,” he grips your hips, snatching you forward that last little inch to sit snug against his hips, “is me giving you a prize you haven’t earned.”

His hands dip to cup the curve of your backside,

his fingers digging deep into the silk and softness he finds there as he continues.

“ What’s not fair is the way you teased me in this little dress last night when you knew there would be too many people around for me to enjoy it properly…”

Dipping down, his sumptuous lips brush your ear as he whispers, “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What seeing you in this dress all night did to me?”  

As yet another lightheaded gasp leaves your lips, a dark, satisfied chuckle leaves his. 

“H-how would I know?” your air comes in shaky as he has his way with you

“You know, baby girl. You always know.”

 As his fingers dip firmly into the globes of your backside, he begins gently, just barely, rocking against you. No hurry. No fuss. Just maddening, slow pressure as he grazes you. When an airy moan comes whimpering from your lips, his strong hands tense, keeping your hips too fixed to succumb to moving with him.

“But you didn’t... say anything.”

Your eyes flutter closed as his face lowers toward yours. You can feel the brush of his lips ghosting over the edges of your cheek, his nose tracing against your skin.

“Don’t act like you couldn’t tell. You know silk always does me in.”

His fingers slip across your stomach where your dress has pooled to rest. They ghost like a whisper over your hips and down your legs until they reach the hem of your skirt. He fits his hands against your skin and drags them up achingly slowly, willing his touch to memorize the feel of your skin along the way as he pushes the fabric up inch by merciless inch- all while never stopping the insatiable way his lips move warm against yours.

His touch and his kiss are languid, unhurried, as he sets you on fire. When he reaches your thighs, his palms splay across them, his thumbs dragging along the inner swell of your legs as your vision begins to blur. 

He’s taking his time. He’s teasing you and enjoying it. It’s evident in the way he slows down the higher he gets. The way his mouth begins to travel down your throat in kisses so soft, so divinely sweet, that you swear you’re growing lightheaded from the swelling rush of pleasure.

His thumbs have made their way to the folds of your hips, his hands hidden beneath the fabric as your body lights up electric at his touch. Like if it shines bright enough for him, he might bless it with all that you know he is capable of. But even though he knows you’re more than willing, your tease doesnt satiate your body or her cravings for him just yet.

Instead, he slows down further. He fits his hands on the outer edges of your hip while his kisses turn gentle, calming, resolving, as if he has no intention of following through further after riling you up like this.

“What are you— why are you stopping?” Your eyes flit between his, a subtle , whining irritation building up beside your impatience when he doesn’t move. He’s quiet at first, in no rush to answer. As his beautiful face hovers over you, he's so smug you almost want to slap him for toying with you like this. 

But that won’t get you what you want. What you need. So Instead, you take one of his hands and press it to your breast as you guide the other toward the center of you.

He plays along at first, until his fingers are about to brush the part of you that’s positively tingling for his touch, and he abruptly pulls back, resting both of his hands on the countertop on either side of you.

“Ah, ah. That’s for when you use your words, my sweet.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, and suddenly, you’ve never been more greedy or more furious. 

Snatching at his waistband, you pull his hips forward and slip your hand over the linen to hold him. His breath catches at the back of his throat, and his eyes go wide, dumbfounded at the shift in power.

“And I said, the judge can’t tell you the answers.”

You level him with a look of quiet confidence as your fingers slip between his skin and the linen to hold him where he wants you most. His brows tip into softened u’s as the coolness of your touch brushes against him.

“Husband of the year should know what I want by now. I shouldn't have to tell him.”

You grasp him, fingers running delicately up the underside of him at the same time that you lick into his mouth. You feel him dip a bit as his knees buckle, making his hands on the counter the only thing holding him up.

“Mother of god,” he mumbles, even as his hips move in compliance with your touch. “Where did you learn that?”

“From the best,” you beam. Your smile is genuine, sweet and blindingly bright. It makes him want to take a bite out of the apples of your cheek, so he does. A playful nip that has you giggling and him pressing his lips together in fondness. 

The moment is sweet, until you catch his eyes with that same saccharine smile on your face, and take your hand away. His mouth opens, about to protest, until he watches you run your tongue in a long, slow stripe up your fingers before reaching back down behind his waistband to run the wet digits over his heated skin as you grasp him.

“Oh my… fuuuuck,” he exhales, his weight dropping to press into the counter. His face dips to lean against yours as he struggles to stay lucid. This feels so good, so out of nowhere, that his body is bursting to life more rapidly that he can keep up with. 

With every movement you make, he moves with you, gasping through his open mouth with every touch as he tries to keep his composure. Leaning into your forehead, he feels his nose bumping against yours as he searches for air. He feels nearly lightheaded but god, you’re incredible. Your touch feels so good- he never wants you to stop. 

Still, he wants control back though. To make you as much of a mewling mess as you’re currently making of him. He was enjoying the game you were both playing before, but he likes the feeling of winning more. However, just when he thinks he’s got a way to get the upper hand back, you ever so lightly twist your grip as you pump him, and suddenly, he can’t tell if he’s dying, ascending or blacking out. 

It feels so good so fast that he can barely remember his own name, let alone stage a coup. Your fingertips gently play with the tip of him at the top of each swell in your fluid flourish, and suddenly he can’t think of anything else to do with all this bursting excess inside of him but to kiss you. So he does. Open mouthed. Sloppy. Full of want. It feels so incredible that you can’t help but laugh brightly into his mouth, ethereally elegant, even as you wreck him. 

As you work, he can feel the way he’s growing harder with your attention, the way his blood feels like it’s singing the longer you touch him. His hips are obeying you like they belong to you, and at this point, he’s pretty sure they do. His mouth is painting your throat, adding swathes of crimson to the blooms he made before until your neck is colored with an entire bouquet of his affection. 

When he closes his eyes, the light behind them sparkles with effervescence as he listens to the quickness of your breath as you work. The sounds, the moans, the gasps you make as you touch him mingle with sounds of early morning nature and Namjoon wonders if this was what the poets meant when they described paradise. 

Pleasure is cresting over him in warm, molten waves now, and as it builds, he realizes he was wrong.

That as much as he loves your luminous eyes, your serene smile, the softness of your breasts, that those aren’t truly his favorite part of you if he’s honest. At least not right now. Not in moments like these. Because right now, with your hand wrapped around him, wrecking him with craving, that title is held by the treasure between your thighs; and as the blood rushes away from the rest of his body and swells where your hand lies, all he can think of, all he wants, is to bury himself in the wet, velvet warmth of you and never leave.

If he doesn’t get you naked with him inside you within the next three seconds, he thinks he might die.

So he does something about it.

“Open, baby. Open your legs for me,” he demands. It’s firm, commanding, but his eyes are so full of needy want that it’s hard to say who’s really in charge right now. 

Pushing your hand away and placing it on his chest, Namjoon kicks down his linen trousers and slides up your dress as you obey. He springs out, the length of him pressing into the meat of your thigh. It has you whimpering before you can catch yourself.

“God, I knew you were a smart boy. You’d figure it out eventually,” your voice is teasing, but your face is so dizzy, so desperate for him, that he could give you the whole world if you asked.

“You ready for me, baby?” His eyes are half blown with lust, his lashes hanging heavy as he runs his fingers over your opening, before collapsing against your shoulder. “ Oh my god.”

“What is it, Joon?”

“Nothing. I just,” he chuckles once, “I don’t think I’ll ever get over how wet you get for me.”

With no hesitation, he slips two fingers inside you as your belly contracts. Gasping his name, you can’t help but cling to him as light shoots through your body at the incredibly welcome feeling of his hands there.

“Nam- Namjoon, ah!” Wrapping your hands around his shoulders, you can feel your nails dig into his sturdy flesh as he begins rocking you with a motion so good, so fluid you fear you may simply float away and never touch the ground again.

“Yes, baby? What is it?” 

“You. I want you. Please.”

“You have me, baby.” His teeth are gritted in focus as he works you, his brow dipped low as he watches how easily you come undone with his attention. Warmth gushes over his fingers as he feels your walls contract in tandem with the tug of your hands in his hair. The sting is sharp and sublime as you grasp him tight with every part of you.

“Inside. Come inside. Need you. Now,” you plead. Your other hand trickles down his torso to the soft hair above his member before holding him firmly with a twist of your hand. He moans, hips canting into your delicate palm.

Namjoon doesn’t need to be told twice. Slipping his fingers out of the way, he scoops you safely to the edge of the island, one large hand stroking himself and guiding him to line up with your eager entrance.

The essence of you coats the tip of him without any effort, your body unfolding, so relaxed for him, as he easily begins to slip inside you. It’s so abundant that the slide is effortless, helping him bottom out almost immediately within you. Your head falls back in wonder as he does, your hands quickly planting against the cold counter to catch you. 

Wow. God, Namjoon’s body always has a tendency to overwhelm you, no matter how many times you get caught up in each other like this. You still can’t get over that. Honestly, it would be impossible to when he’s built like he is. 

He’s broad everywhere- that’s obvious to anyone. But here, he’s long and thick, with thighs like tree trunks powering each movement as he glides inside you. Any other time, you might have needed his help to adjust, for him to take his time to warm you up, but this morning? Your body is ready for him, and he knows it. 

It’s unfolding itself for him like a bloom to the sun, and he’s reverent enough to return its worship. You’re so wet that he can feel it trickling down his hip as he pistons into you, and he regrets not dipping down to sample a taste of it before coming inside. But now that he’s here, there’s absolutely no way he’s leaving the warmth of your walls until you're both falling over and spent.

Your ankles are crossed behind him, pulling him as close as you can get him, and his face is pressed against your neck and collarbone as both your hips work in dizzy tandem. The sensation of it sends his consciousness swirling as the pressure in his abdomen builds.

He’s convinced now that you’re a real, actual goddess. There’s no way you could make him feel this divine if you weren’t. Your ambrosia coats his thickness, spilling over him as he thrusts harder, deeper, tilting his hips to curve against that spot inside you that—

“Oh! God! Joon,” you yelp. “Yes, don’t stop.”

His grin is infectious. You can feel it against your skin as you pull him tighter, rocking in time with him as your euphoria builds. Your laugh is bright, sparkling as he licks his fingers and slips them swirling over the sensitive burst between your legs. Your breath catches, his name and profanity tumbling from your lips in equal measure.

You’re not sure how much more of this you can take. Your senses are on overload, your vision darkening around the edges as the pleasure he paints across your body escalates rapidly. Somewhere far off, you can hear his voice. His mouth is near your ear, his breath cooling your skin that’s become sticky with sweat, but you can’t understand, can’t wrap your brain around what he’s saying…

Until you realize that even fully coherent, you’d still be lost because your forever intoxicating husband has slipped back into his native tongue. You love it when this happens. With his senses so thoroughly drowning in you,  translating language just becomes too hard a thing to manage, so the harder and deeper he goes, the lower the bass in his voice becomes as he mumbles in korean against your ear.

You’ve learned enough to catch words like “beautiful” “perfect” and “God, I love you,” but the rest remain a mystery as he captures the innermost parts of your body for himself with swift, perfect strokes of his hips. The depth he’s reaching right now has you in raptures. It has your breath coming in short gasps as your breasts bounce buoyantly with each...incredible… thrust he delivers.

You won’t last much longer. You know it. And All you can think right now is how badly you want to look in his eyes when you come- which you know will happen any second now.

  Between his touch, his voice, the indescribable way he moves his hips when he’s inside you, and the crescendo you feel from the spot he’s internally caressing right now, you know you’re only moments away from dissolving into the atmosphere, yet all you want is more of him.

“Joon, baby, I’m so close. Look at me. Please,” you move one of the hands supporting you to hold his face and bring it to yours.

God, that please of yours. It flows so naturally from your lips when he has his way with you. He doesn’t know how to describe what it unleashes in him, but he knows it never fails to wreck him. “Shh, let go, baby girl. I’m right here. I got you.” 

Before he can think, he’s kissing you deeply, his tongue insatiable as he tastes you. He alternates between kissing you and pulling back to catch your eyes. The depth of affection in his gaze warms you brilliantly from the inside even as you swear you can practically feel his thrust against the underside of your lungs. 

His once seamless rhythm has become all feel and nuance. All order is long lost as he makes his last powerful dives into the depths of you. You can feel it- the tightness in his body, the firm set in his jaw, the profound depth of his voice as he praises your body in Korean. If you were to die like this, caught up in Namjoon’s impeccably loving, gracious body, you wouldn’t have a single regret.

There’s nothing more you could ask for. 

The glittering sensation pulsing through your body let’s you know it’s almost time to surrender, and you’re ready to come undone. Surely, there could be nothing more blissful than this— until Namjoon takes the hand he’s kept gripped around your waist and slips it up to your throat.

Your eyes go wide. 

He really was paying attention. Husband of the year, indeed. 

And just like that, the express trip to ecstasy nearly slams into your body. His eyes are locked on yours. He’s muttering a soft “good girl” and “that’s it, baby” as he works his powerful hips into you. He has one hand clamped firm and perfect below your jaw along your throat, and the other dancing elegantly along the bundle of nerves between your legs. He takes those fingers into his mouth to wet them, his face crumpling in a satisfied moan at the taste of you on his skin, before slipping them back where they belong. 

It’s altogether too much and you are lit up sparkling as the combined sensation of it all builds with the warmth of his body against you, within you. 

“Come for me, baby,” he says it clear and firm, his touch generous to help ease you over the edge. 

“Only if you come with me,” you breathe. Your eyes meet his as you try to find something to hold on to as the tension in you crests. 

He smiles then. All dimples and sweet eyes and perfect lips. He places a sweet kiss on your cheek beside your lips, and that’s all it takes to ruin you.

You feel your body contract around him in bliss as his name spills from your mouth. Making love to Namjoon has never felt commonplace, but there’s something about today. About him. About the sweetness of this morning in the middle of your perfect hidden home with him that makes you burst not only with pleasure, but with love. 

As your orgasm washes over you, you feel illuminated from within like the sun is glowing out of your skin as your body melts against him.

“I love you,” you whisper. “You’re so perfect.”

As your body floats back down from wherever you just astral projected from bliss, you can feel that his body is just a breath away from tipping over the edge itself. He’s pulling back, pulling out, intending to spill himself elsewhere, but in that instant, you realize you don’t want that.

Your memory flashes back to your wedding day. To the moment those hideous people decided to squawk about your child-rearing, heir-producing duty just hours after your vows, and Namjoon had cut them off immediately at the jump and whispered,” don’t pay them any mind. That happens when you’re ready. Not a second before,” soft against your ear. 

It was one of the first instances that made you realize what a good man he was. How willing he was to put your readiness, your comfort, before anyone or anything else. And now, as you take him in, as you remember how truly and deeply you love him, you realize you’re ready for there to be more.

You’ve had countless discussions with him about starting a family, and everytime, without missing a beat, his answer has always been, “whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.” 

You've come to learn over this past year that he’s wanted nothing more than to become a dad since he was a small boy.

You’ve gotten to witness how fun, gentle and gracious he is with his nephews. With Jimin’s daughter, his sweet godchild. For a year, you’ve watched him be good and kind to any child he meets, patient with you, subdued as he hides the depth of his desire to be a father behind his dimpled smiles and suave redirection when you bring it up. 

He’s been willing to wait for you. He never pushes. He never demands. And in this moment, as you study the face of the incredible man who’s welcomed you into his heart and his home, all you want is to begin the journey to give him what you know he will never ask for, even though it’s what the secret parts of his heart want the most. 

“Namjoon,” you whisper,” don’t. It’s okay. You can finish inside me.” You caress his face lovingly as his eyes go wide. 

“Really? But baby… I… what…” Your eternally eloquent man has gone slack jawed in his loss for words as his hips begin to still.

“It’s okay,” you nod. “I want you to. I want to feel you.” You kiss the dip of his dimple.

“Are you sure? i-“ he stumbles before you lovingly cut him off.

“I think it’s about time we start trying for our family, don’t you?” You whisper. Your fingers thread through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes as his face beams with light. His shoulders and chest are shaking with laughter as his eyes flit between yours and he smiles.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” His hands slip up to cradle your face, the most beautiful mixture of excitement and relief and the purest joy making his misty eyes look brilliant in the early light.

“Absolutely,” your voice is soft as you tip your nose against his. Your smile is all pearls and laughter as you reach to grab the full apples of his ass and push him into you.

He’s laughing and smiling and gasping when you do, before happily resuming the final few thrusts he would need to send himself over the edge.

“Use me, baby,” you whisper, eyes alight with the gentle seduction that always ruins him. “I want to feel you when you finish.”

Biting his lip, he swallows and nods, almost too eager, but you’re beautiful and warm and you’ve gotten so tight around him and he can’t help himself. He’s close. He’s already soo close. He’s spent nearly this whole morning trying to contain himself inside you despite the absolutely mind numbing feel of you, and here you are telling him to let go? It’s impossible that you’re real.

Pulling his face to you, he realizes you’re kissing him. Your honey sweet tongue has made a home in his mouth. Your soft breasts brush his chest with every thrust. Your hands are clutching his back and in his hair. Your heels pressed into the back of his legs to pull him close, and now he knows you want to carry his baby.

To allow your body to grow and change just to hold his seed, start his family and realize his dream of not only being a husband to you but a dad to your babies. He’s so in love with you. So maddeningly, ridiculously, stupidly, over the moon in love with you, and all at once, it’s happening.

His release is coming, strong and quick, and he can finally drown in the feeling of it happening while you surround him. His body is reeling at the burst of perfection he feels from losing himself in you like this. The cloud like swells of your thighs pressing around him might very well be the only thing holding him up.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, I love you.” His face is buried in your neck, your chest, your hair, your cheeks- everything all at once- his full lips dropping kisses on your skin like stars falling from heaven. 

When he pulls back to look at you, he can’t even put what he’s feeling into words. But it’s okay. Because you know. He can see it in your eyes.

Cradling his face, you smile up at him, eyes glossy and happy. “You ready?” 

“To have a baby with you?” His voice falters as his smile grows so wide his eyes nearly disappear. “There isn’t anything I want more.”

Pressing his forehead to yours as he hugs your waist, you both press your noses together and laugh. Overcome with something almost too sweet to simply be called happiness. The word seems too small to encompass it all.

“Maybe I’m not husband of the year yet, cause I definitely didn’t see that coming.” He chuckles.

“Oh shut up. I know you felt how you made me finish. You’re just showing off at this point.”

“I can’t have my baby girl leave anyway but satisfied with me.” He winks, and you smack his chest lightly.

“I’d be mad at you for being so smug if you weren’t actually as great as you think you are,” you scrunch your nose at him as he laughs.

“Well, if there are any areas of improvement I can work on, let me know. I hear I'm about to have a lot of time to workshop your suggestions.” Namjoon lovingly nips at your collarbone, and you tingle in bliss at the thought of how many more moments like this lie in your near future.

“Duly noted. On that note then, I feel compelled to point out that what you just did counted as an excellent submission for husband of the year.”

“Oh really?” He licks his lips slowly as you nod.

“Remember- you can make as many entries as you want.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Limitless,” you assent. 

“Good to know. I’ll keep it mind,” he smirks, dipping down to lift the fullness of one of your breasts into his hand as he gently kisses the top of the swell of flesh. You sigh into his kiss. This is going to be a spectacular journey— you can already tell.

“Namjoon.”

“Hmm?” His eyes perk up, though his mouth never leaves its preoccupation with your bare chest.

“Is this… is this okay? I hope I didn’t spring this on you too soon or… I don’t know...too out of the blue? Because your comfort is important too, and I—“

You’re swiftly cut off by the sweet press of Namjoon’s delicious lips against yours. “Shh. Yes, I want this. More than anything.”

“So my timing wasn’t—“

“No. It was perfect. You’re perfect,” he kisses the tip of your nose as your lips bloom into a smile. “And if we are going to try to fill that cute belly of yours with a baby, then maybe… maybe this shouldn’t just be a weekend visit.”

Tipping your head to look at him, you feel your brows scrunch. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, this has always been our getaway spot. A place to stay safe and lie low when things get jumpy in the city. A place to take you when we want to be alone. Truly be alone. But if…” he hesitates, lacing your hand with his and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “If you’re going to be carrying my baby, I want to keep you safe. I promised you that the day I met you- I’d never let anything happen to you. It’s been risky enough to have you in the city all this time as it is.”

“So...what exactly are you suggesting, love?” You run your thumb lovingly over his knuckles.

“I’m proposing if you do get pregnant, we move you out here. Permanently. Or at least somewhat long term.”

“Wait…” you pull away, eyes clouding as you do. “Alone? Without you?”

“No. No. I didn’t word that right. I’d be here as much as i can, and I’d send the security detail to stay out here whenever I have to leave so—“

“Namjoon, I don’t want to be all the way out here by myself. Surely, that’s not necessary.”

He frowns as he tries to gather his thoughts. “This is coming out wrong...You wouldn’t be fully by yourself. I’d be here as much as I can. I just... want you protected. Safe. And out of the city while you're carrying something so precious.” The backs of his knuckles graze your stomach. 

“But I don’t understand. Why—“

“I don’t want anyone to hurt you.” His voice has turned solemn, his eyes an odd shade of vulnerability when they meet yours. 

“Joon, nobody’s gonna do anything. You’ve made that city so secure-nobody could hurt me even if they tried.”

Something stormy and troubled clouds his eyes.It makes you wonder if there are things he hasn’t told you. Things he’s kept to himself to ensure that your life is as peaceful as possible. You wonder what kind of darkness he’s had to swallow for your sake. 

“But they have tried.”

It's news to you. 

“What do you mean… when?” 

“It’s happened a few times. Nothing ever got far enough to warrant bringing it up.”

“What on earth? Joon, why in the world wouldn’t you tell me that?” 

He sighs once, from some deep place in his bones. “Because i never wanted to have to see the look in your eyes that I do right now.”

Suddenly, any anger you held vanishes all at once. 

“Baby, why are you carrying something like that all by yourself?”

“So you don’t have to. I promised I’d keep you safe, and I meant it. That includes taking care of your peace of mind. Something you won’t have if you knew how many times someone’s shot off at the mouth about coming for you because they’re irate at me or how many times someone has done more than just talked and actually tried.”

It’s a sobering thought.

“Is that… is that the real reason why you never pushed for an heir?” For reasons you can’t explain, the idea makes you want to cry. Namjoon sees the shift immediately, his fingers ready to brush your tears before they even fall.

“Shhh, hey. No. I mean, it’s part of it. You know all I’ve ever wanted was to be a parent. When I married you, please know the idea of you being the mother of my children sent me over the moon, but I know this world. How people take what they want. Do what they want. I wanted better for you.” He runs his fingers soft over your cheek like you’re some spun glass artifact he needs to protect. 

“I wanted to be better for you than the men in this world were going to give you. I promised myself that I was never going to demand anything from you. That’s why I didn’t push for an heir. I meant it when I said we go at your pace. Always.”

Sniffling, you look up at him through wet lashes. 

“Joon, protecting me doesn’t mean you hide the truth from me.”

“Not even if it would hurt you? Scare you?”

“I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to marry you. It’s so kind of you to try to take these burdens so I don’t have to, but then who carries them for you? That’s my job. You have to let me do it.”

Closing his eyes, he exhales long and slow through his nose. 

“You really mean it, don’t you? You really want to know.”

“Yes,” you nod, caressing his face. He looks troubled. You’d give anything to help take some of his cares away.

“Then you should know why we came to the villa this weekend.”

“So it wasn’t just for a getaway?” You brace yourself for whatever it is you’re about to hear.

“It is, and it isn’t. I guess I have to go back a bit for this to make any sense, but my family isn’t from here. You know that. Our roots don’t go back as many generations as yours do, so when the new kid on the block started gaining power in this city faster than anyone had seen before, there were a lot of families that weren’t happy about it.

Especially not when the daughter of one of the oldest families in the city became my bride. There had already been a lot of grumbling against me before I made such a powerful ally, and there were certainly plenty after. Anything we’d stumbled on over the last few months had been mostly hearsay, but…”

“What is it, Joon?” You're worried now. You can hear the way his voice sounds choked.

“There was a deal that went wrong a few weeks back. Just a skirmish with some lower level captains that got out of control, but I thought I’d put a pin in it. Turns out the other family involved hadn’t let it go like I thought …” he stops, eyes going cold as color drains from his face.

“Baby, it’s okay. You can tell me,” you reassure. 

Closing his eyes, he licks his lips and takes a deep breath, his voice lower, raspier when he continues. “There was a hit put out on you this past week.

You’re shocked. “There— what?”

”It’s okay now. Jungkook caught intel on it soon enough that he crushed it before the people responsible could hurt you, but I've never seen anyone get this close. Y/n, I couldn't breathe when he told me. When I found out, I nearly lost my mind. I called you immediately to make sure you were safe— I couldn’t breathe til I heard your voice.”

You had no idea he’d been through that. You can’t imagine what you would have done if the roles were reversed, if you’d been seconds away from losing him. It would’ve shattered you. You’re not sure how he’s still standing.

“Once I knew you were okay, the first thing I could think was that I needed to get you out of town as fast as I possibly could. Something’s building in that city, y/n. The lower families are tired of their rank. They’re itching to get back any sort of power they can- it’s making them reckless. There’s rumors of a war building…I’d dismissed it so far. Didn’t think they were a real threat until they had the nerve to try something like this. We squashed it, but this was too close, and I’m not willing to risk you.”

Realization dawns across your face. “That’s why we left with less than an hour's notice. I’d thought you were just being romantic about a weekend getaway but ...That’s why we came to this safe house and not the one on the edge of town, isn’t it?”

His eyes fall away as he nods, “That’s why our security detail was thicker than usual.”

“But I've hardly seen anyone.”

“That’s on purpose. I didn’t want to scare you.  Didn't want to draw attention to a whole parade leaving town so I had them follow us at a distance. They’re stationed all around the property and schooled to stay out of sight.”

“What about the boys? Was it safe to have them here this weekend with their wives? Their girlfriends? Didn’t we put them in danger?” Your rounded eyes betray the sudden guilt you feel for what you thought had been such a beautiful night.

“Shh, no. Hey, they’re fine. I had them all moved out to safe houses not too far from here with a security detail on them too. They’re just a few miles from here. That’s why I didn’t feel bad about them driving out last night- they didn’t have to go all the way back to the city, just to our guest houses and then their safe houses in the morning….I’m having them all lie low for a little while. Figured they’d want their girlfriends and wives as close to their side as I want mine. Thought having them over was a good distraction for a night.”

You had no idea. Something cold runs up your spine at the thought that this weekend, this beautifully perfect day could’ve been so different. Or perhaps not even happened at all. 

Slipping your dress back into place, you cover yourself. It feels wrong to have this conversation half naked. Namjoon seems to sense it too as he pulls his pants back on. He offers to help ease you down from the counter, picking you up and placing you gently on the whitewashed floorboards, making sure you’re steady before he lets you go. 

Under any other circumstances, you’d laugh at how he has to make you sure you’re stable enough not to keel over where you stand after blessing you with an orgasm so bright it makes your soul radiate around your body. Now though, you find your hand cradling your lower belly, feeling entirely naive for thinking now was the time to bless the world with Namjoon’s child. You should say something, but the words get stuck in your throat…. you feel like a fool.

“I’m gonna make us some coffee, yeah? You want a cup?” Namjoon offers softly. When you look up, he looks so worn out all of a sudden. Like he’s somehow aged years during the course of this conversation. Like he really does need a cup of coffee, if not something stronger.

“Sure, baby. I’ll take one.”

Nodding, he presses a kiss to your forehead before he plugs in the black gooseneck kettle you’d gotten him for his birthday. The gift had been simple, thoughtful, and if he was honest, it was the best present anyone had ever given him.

He practically survives on black coffee most days. At the beginning of your marriage, he was always long gone before you rose most mornings, so in an attempt to slow him down and have more time with him, you’d gotten him a pour over set and a gooseneck kettle to replace his old instant apparatus.

He wondered if you were aware of all the additional gifts it had given him along the way....It required time to steep and brew. Time he’d never given himself before he met you. The methodology of it soothed him, provided his mornings with a small structure and routine he’d never had in a lifestyle marked by so much chaos. 

Taking the time to make his absolutely necessary coffee this way helped wake him up gently, slowed him down enough for you to have the time to slip out of bed and catch him before he was gone, to hold him while he prepared it. To remind him of the precious reason he needed to be careful while he was out that day. 

As the water boils, he turns his back to you. He feels himself melt when your arms wind around him. Softly, you press a kiss between his shoulder blades before your touch slips away as quietly as it appeared. The subtle sounds of your footsteps fading as you walk away and the gentle buzzing of the kettle are all that fill the room in the silence between you.

Namjoon sighs as he turns, his arms crossed as he leans against the counter to watch you.  Without a word, you silently procure a hearty loaf of fresh,crusty bread from the pantry and begin to slice it for breakfast. As your head tips down in concentration, he watches your untamed hair fall in your eyes. It’s beautiful the way it frames your face. It makes something squeeze in the center of his chest.

Crossing the room, he comes to stand beside you, lightly brushing your hair back into place for you with his hand. You still in your task, closing your eyes and leaning into his touch.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes, baby?” 

“If it’s this dangerous…” your voice is barely above a whisper, “this unsafe… does that mean we shouldn’t have a baby?” When you look up at him, your eyes are starlit with tears. Your hands are trembling, and he hates to see you so sad.

“No. You’re ready, and I want a family,”’he soothes.

“But… but if there’s this much risk, how can our child ever have a normal life? Won’t we always be afraid for them all the time? Is that selfish? To make a life that has to live in this world just because we want them to?”

He brushes his fingers over the cascade of teardrops starting to fall from your eyes. “All parents have to worry about that, y/n. This world is still a scary place even outside my line of work.”

“I know. But they don’t have to worry about a hit on their child’s life or a ransom or generation’s old grudges putting their child at risk....They just have to worry about whether or not a child in their daughter’s class has a peanut allergy because little ashley will only eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches right now and nothing else.”

You’re talking with your hands as Namjoon gives you a smile that’s equally warm and sad. “That’s a really specific scenario.”

“I went through a phase in first grade, okay?”

He finds your eyes until you laugh before pulling you in tight against his chest. “First of all, that’s adorable. We’ll address that again later because little y/n sounds incredibly cute. And secondly,” he sighs,” you grew up in this world- the same as me- and we both survived. Having a child is expected of us, yes, but if that’s not what you want... it doesn’t have to happen. But, if we both want one… if being a mom will make you happy, then I’m going to find a way to give you that.” There’s a heaviness about him right now. An authority resigned to accept whatever fate weighs on your heart the most as he watches your eyes fill with questions.

“But won’t we be afraid for them all the time? I feel so naive for only thinking of how much I’d like to meet them, how much I’d love them just because they’re a part of you, when I should have known better.”

“That’s not naive. That’s beautiful. No matter what they’re like, we’ll love them. Because they’re ours.”

“What if they don’t want any part of this world? They should have a choice… but can I even give them one or will their only option be serving as the new head of the Kim family one day?” Your face looks stricken. “Did you get to choose?” Your watery eyes flit up to his. 

He swallows, face stony as you survey him. “I did what I had to do so our life can look however we want it to,” he’s sighing again, worn out out by memories you may never see. “Look, you’re my wife, and I’m your husband. As far as I’m concerned, we’re the ones get to decide what’s right for us, y/n. I’ve told you that, and I meant it- that extends to our children too. Their lives don’t have to look like what anyone else wants but them. I don’t care if they want to be painters or accountants or captains in the family. They get to shape the life they want. That’s what I’ve worked so hard for.”

You feel your eyes flutter shut in relief on their own accord. Of course he’s already thought this through to this degree. When has your Namjoon ever done anything less? It soothes your mind to know he’s taken the time to lay the groundwork so you don’t have to. Still though, questions you’re ashamed didn't occur to you sooner rattle through your head and spill from your mouth.

“Do they have to spend their life in boarding school like I did? Are our only options to send them away or be scared for them every day?

“Y/n, no. We’ll find what works for our family. I want that with you- figuring that out and watching them grow. I’ll keep you both safe. However I have to. I promise you.” His thumb brushes over your ring as he holds your hand against his chest. “I promised you.”

And just like that, it hits you all over again- how much you love this man. How deeply you trust him with every fiber of your being. How you couldn’t have found a better man to love you if you’d tried. You two are it for each other- you’ve known it since the day you met him on the steps.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing your knuckles,”... but, y/n?”

Your eyes flit up to meet his. “Yes, love ?”

“I meant what I said. If this is all too much, if this scares you, we can wait.” His brown eyes are so deep and sincere. You know every part of him means it, and it’s precisely because of that, that you say the words you do.

“No. I want this. All of this. With you. We’ll figure this out,” you nod, gently pulling the back of his neck down so your foreheads are touching. “I want to have a baby with you. I’m all in, if you are.”

You can feel the rush of tension that leaves his body. He wraps you in his arms, so close and secure, and something innocent comes from him that you don’t think you’ve ever heard.

“God, you know I am. Thank you.”

His voice is as robust and full as always, but his eyes… there’s something so young and soft and terrified in them. Like the weight of all he’s been carrying alone has crashed down on him all at once. “I’m so excited to have a baby with you if it happens. And it’s okay if it doesn’t. But I can’t wait to try.”

You’re nodding and crying, and you realize something that perhaps has never dawned on you before. This is the first time you’ve seen him truly this vulnerable. He’s always so strong, so composed. Too busy holding up an entire empire and caring for you to let his walls fully fall. 

But as he buries his face in your neck, you suddenly feel dampness pooling against your skin and realize he’s crying. You wonder how you got here on a morning that had been so serene and full of bliss. Bliss you now realize has come at a price.

“I was so scared I'd lost you the day we came here.” Slipping your hand into his hair, the other soothes his back as he clings to you tighter. “I'm so glad you’re okay. You’re so smart. I know you are. You don’t make reckless mistakes when you’re out— you take good care of yourself— but I was so afraid. My heart dropped when Jungkook told me what he’d heard. He couldn’t calm me down until I heard your voice on the phone.”

Stroking his hair, you recall the phone call just a few days ago. How strangled and out of breath he’d sounded. How you’d asked if he was okay, and he’d simply said he was now.

“It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay.” 

He takes a moment to collect himself, pressing you so close you may fuse together. It’s unguarded, and precious. Something you know both of you treasure as he nuzzles into your skin in that space along your neck where his face perfectly fits.

It’s as simple as that. You both stay like this for as long as you can, secure in his embrace, your breathing settling until it’s nearly in sync. It’s peaceful for you, cathartic for him. It’s a moment framed by a different kind of intimacy than the one you both shared in this very room less than an hour ago. 

He shows no sign of letting you go until the kettle begins to howl for him from across the room. When he does, his fingers trace the silk fabric along your waist as his lips kiss your forehead. He takes one more heavy breath before he squeezes you in release to tend to the coffee.

“Cream and sugar?” He asks, his voice thicker than usual.

“Always,” you answer.

And so the morning resets itself. 

The day shifts into afternoon. The sun drifting higher, brighter, casting the shadows and ridges of Namjoon’s sculpted body in almost Grecian relief as he carefully pours the water for both of you over the coffee grounds. You finish slicing the crackling bread loaf and bring it to the table to place it beside the remnants of Seokjin’s charcuterie board. 

It’s only when you catch sight of your lacy table cloth that you remember the accident that started the whole morning to begin with. You’d both gotten so preoccupied with each other that you never made it any further than cleaning his shirt and not the rest of the disaster.

Smiling to yourself, you gently slide the cloth off the table and fill the sink with cold water to soak it. Looking over at your husband, you realize wine stains still swirl over the front of Namjoon’s linen pants. There’s a very good chance those are fully set now, but just in case, you might as well try to fix them. 

So, gently, you hook a finger into his waistband and tug. “Let me have these.”

“Round two all ready? Greedy girl.” He winks, his voice soft as follows the drip of his Colombian roast.

“No, smart girl. We did a terrible job of getting you cleaned up.” You pop the p at the end of the word as you snap the elastic on his pants.

Looking a bit lost, Namjoon glances down to see the lovely pastel splashes of rosé running clean down the front of his pants. He’d been too busy to notice once you’d gotten him out of them. Blushing for no reason other than the embarrassment of you having to clean up his foibles, Namjoon dips down to remove the trousers, leaving himself looking statuesque and unreasonably gorgeous in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs in the afternoon light as he tends to the coffee.

You feel terribly immature over how quickly affected you are by the sight of him in his current predicament and carefully take the pants from him, only to turn abruptly in search of some fresh air and relief. Namjoon catches your equally flustered state, smiling to himself, but doesn’t acknowledge it out loud. This spell of quiet that’s settled over the room is too peaceful to break.

Once the coffee’s done, he brings both your cups to the broad heirloom table, and you enjoy breakfast… or, he supposes, brunch at this point...together in the stillness. Every bite you take is piled high with prosciutto and fig while Namjoon drizzles honey on his slices of bread. 

It’s peaceful, idyllic. Tranquil enough to forget the world that awaits him back in the city.

It’s funny, the duality of his life. How easy it becomes in moments like these to lean into the simplicity of breakfast with his lover and ignore the undulating danger and uncertainty awaiting him in the rest of his world. It makes him realize how much he’s come to covet exchanges like this when he gets to feel like you’re just two people in love and nothing else. 

As his eyes trace over you, he promises himself to do everything in his power to make sure your life with him is hallmarked by sweet pockets like these. As many of them as he can give you. 

At some point Namjoon pushes up to get the carafe of orange juice from the fridge, and after assigning your more capable hands the job of opening the champagne, you both polish off your brunch with the tinkling clink of your toasting mimosa glasses. 

Once your bellies are full and satiated, Namjoon looks up at you. His elbows are propped up on the table, chin contentedly resting in his hands. There’s a question hidden in the corner of his lips as his eyes glisten with mischief.

“So… what else do you have in mind for your agenda today, my bride?” He reaches across the table to grab your hand, kissing the back of your palm as you giggle and roll your eyes.

“Well if you must know... I'm thinking I might give my sister a call. See if she’d be willing to come pay me visit.” You offer, pushing one of the last grapes around the corner of the board, avoiding the way Namjoon’s eyes shine. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you shrug nonchalantly. “Maybe she could come stay in one of the guest houses. Potentially. Once I move out here. Whenever that may be.” 

“So my baby won’t be alone when I’m gone?” His dimples are popping in his cheeks as his smile spreads wide. It’s a brilliant idea to bring her out here with you until Namjoon can finesse a way to be by your side 24/7. He wonders why he didn’t think of it sooner. Probably because you’re as smart as you are beautiful. 

“Neither of your babies.” You crinkle your nose as you smile back at him. 

“I like the sound of that,” he’s beaming back at you, happy and light. His eyes are misty with emotion he can’t hide, and it only makes you love him more.

“Me too.”

“So, how would you feel about getting to work as soon as possible then?” His eyebrows bounce salaciously your way, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Is that what you want?” 

“If it’s what you want. Always.” Namjoon licks his lips and a crackle of electricity shoots up your spine. The parallels to how this morning started are not lost on you. It makes something in you thrill with excitement.

“Well, I would love to take a bath. Our activity this morning was excellent, but I must say you left a bit of a sticky mess in your wake.” 

“Sorry,” Namjoon ducks his head bashfully.

“So I’m going to break in that beautiful clawfoot tub and fill it to the brim with matcha bubble bath.”

“Mmm. With the orange blossom bath salts too?”

“Always,” you wink as Namjoon bites his lip.

“God, you always smell so good when you use that. It makes your skin so soft.” The thought of your skin fragrant and bare has his blood stirring again as his eyes rake over you.

“Well you are welcome to keep me company and read to me while I soak,” you offer nonchalantly as you walk away. You can feel his eyes on your hips as you round the corner, quickly followed by the sound of his bare feet against the floorboards.

“Or I could join you in the water.”

When he responds, his voice is closer than you expected it to be. He’s caught up to you so quickly with those long legs of his.

“Or you could finish the chapter of the book you were reading to me on the way up. You left me on such a cliffhanger when your hands got distracted on the drive. I’m dying to know what happens next.”

Biting his lip, that wicked gleam is back in his eyes at the memory of the drive up and the things the two of you got up to in the privacy of the tinted, shielded back seat.

“Fair enough, but I get to join after.” His hand is forceful where it slips across your waist. You tumble into him, wanting nothing more than to let him win and start this game all over again, but you had a feeling you were winning this round, and you like to win.

“I can promise you no such thing. We’ll just have to see how the day goes,” you shrug, dismissing him completely to climb the stairs.

As much as he enjoys the view, Namjoon loves the play for dominance more: it’s cute on you. Too bad he’s still got the upper hand. He catches you on the stairwell, turning you around to face him. His hand ghosts down the front of your silk draped stomach directly to the dip between your legs.

 He places enough pressure to catch your sensitivity there, smiling something wicked at the sound of your sharp inhale. He already knows how delicate you are after you’ve already finished once until he warms your body up again. The prospect of starting this dance all over again has him stiffening with delight against your leg when he feels the familiar slip of your essence help the fabric glide beneath his touch.

“Oh baby girl, you have no idea how well this day is gonna go.” His voice has dipped to an octave reserved only for the devil as he smiles at you and lifts you off the stairs and into his arms.

You squeal at the suddenness of it, wrapping your arms securely around his neck so you don’t fall. He just chuckles, something throaty and dark, as he carries you up the stairs and down the hall to the sunlit bathroom. 

Setting you on the counter, he turns to start the bath- scooping in bath salts, pouring your bubbles, raising the blinds so the room is flooded with light. He doesn’t want to miss a single look on your beautiful face when he has his way with you for a second time today.

Not once has it occurred to you to move from the spot where he put you. Instead, you sit perfectly still on the bathroom counter, feeling your nails dig into your palms, your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you watch him. Your pulse is already thrumming with anticipation all over again. 

When he turns back to you, you can see clear evidence of his arousal reshaping itself beneath his black briefs, and suddenly, despite your meal, there’s something else entirely that you want in your mouth. He catches the hungry way your eyes follow him as he walks back to you.

“Can I help you, baby?” His laugh is warm, even if his eyes are sinister. It’s all you can do just to nod your head and slip your fingers forward to tug at his waistband. When it begins to fall, you slip down to the floor, catching him off guard entirely. Not in a million years did Namjoon didn't plan on this course of events, but he certainly isn't unhappy about it. 

Namjoon leans back against the counter in the spot you’d just been sitting in as your hands grasp onto the muscular ridges of his toned legs. You set to work kissing his golden skin on his thighs slowly, indulgently, enjoying yourself as you go. 

You’ve always been weak in the knees for his absurdly gorgeous legs. They’ve only gotten more toned in the last year just like the rest of him, and between his dimples, his arms, his chest, and his legs, it’s hard to know where to begin. Or it would be if there wasn’t something hard and beautiful staring you in the face.

Namjoon is in heaven watching this unfold from above. When you slip him into your mouth, he feels all his rational thought go dark. He’s helpless to do anything but cave in. God, the two of you are like rabbits, but honestly, how can you not be when you make him feel like this? He begins to lose himself in the soft rhythm you create, something lazy and hypnotic, that makes him feel weightless.

He can barely hold himself, but every second is worth it. All he can do is luxuriate in the way you take your time as you bless him. At least, that’s how he always thinks of it because it’s truly nothing short of divine. 

He can’t tell if it’s been a few minutes or an eternity when all of a sudden, you’re abruptly letting him slip from your mouth with a pop and a sultry smile. The cool air rushing against him nearly startles him in the wake of the warmth he’d been cocooned in while your tongue did its incredible work. Because just as quickly as you started, you’re gone. 

He realizes then that the floor is wet. Apparently, You’d both gotten so lost in each other that the water in the tub had spilled over its edges and he hadn’t even noticed. Also, at some point during all this, you must have slipped out of your dress, because you’re lowering yourself into the water now as bare as you were on your wedding night.

Namjoon swallows. His body is ramping with endorphins, and he’s so worked up it nearly hurts. As he makes his way to the tub, you stop him with a dainty hand against his lower stomach.

“Ah, ah. I asked you to read to me.” 

Your eyes are coquettishly round as you bat them up at him. He’s tempted to scoff.

“Are you serious right now? Aren’t we in the middle of something?” His face is serious, focused as he eyes your breasts floating in the water amidst the matcha- scented bubbles.

You push back against his stomach again. “Yes, we were… in the middle of that last chapter. Book. Please.”

There it is again. The “please” he’s always been so enamored by. The “please” that’s usually the product of your need for him. The one he’s so infatuated with that he’d do anything to satisfy it. The one that, up until now, he’d thought you were unaware of, yet here you are using it against him.

That’s when he knows he’s trained you too well. There’s pride sparkling in your eyes as you look up at him, and he can’t believe it. Running a hand down his face, he shakes his head at you. What has he gotten himself into with you?

“ If that’s the way you want to play it, fine,” he squints at you with playful derision. “But I’m reading to you in the tub with you when I come back.”

“Oh please do,” you coo, batting your lashes at him.

Oh, you’re good. 

Namjoon can’t help but laugh at himself as he walks to the bedroom to collect the book. When he met you a year ago- the blushing, soft spoken girl who was too nervous to meet his eyes- he definitely never would have thought that a year later you’d be sending him down the hallway fully naked and half hard to fetch your literature for you while you float in a bath. He wonders when he got so wrapped around your finger like this, but if he’s honest, he doesn’t mind.

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

 Being with you is the best his life has ever been. He’ll forever be grateful, that against all odds, you agreed to marry a man who was nearly a perfect stranger and create a life with him.

As he walks back to the bathroom, Namjoon catches a glimpse of your rosy smile flashing his way, peeking at him beyond the wall of bubbles. It fills his chest with something buoyant and light as he makes his way back to you.

There’s absolutely nowhere he’d rather be.

As he sinks down in the water behind you, more displaces, splashing out across the white wood beams and dousing your hair in the process. He apologizes profusely but instead of getting mad, you simply slip the rest of the way under the water to finish the job. When you resurface, you’re laughing so happily that your smile is the brightest thing in the room, putting even the afternoon sunlight to shame.

He pulls you to him, affection for you glowing warmly in his chest as you settle between his legs and look up at him. He kisses your forehead, his heart filled with contentment, before reaching forward to dry his hands on the closest available towel and thumbing through the book until he finds the page he marked.

The two of you stay that way until the chapter is finished and the book is closed. Until the bubbles all dissolve and the water’s gone cold. Even then, once the water is drained, you still stay wrapped in a tangle of Namjoon’s long limbs as you twist to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.

Eventually he straightens out his legs to allow you to climb into his lap so he can find his way home again and slip inside you. Your bodies are swathed in the golden light illuminating the room as the two of you go effortlessly slow and unhurried, taking your time . 

Namjoon sinks into you, lost in the beauty of you and your connection. 

This time, your session together is marked in emotion and security. 

He knows how much you want to start a family with him, and you know how special it was for him to let his walls down, to let you know how scared he was to lose you. Both of you are in awe of not only how attracted you are to each other, but also of the caliber of human you’re currently sharing your bodies with, of how transcendent love making can feel when your hearts and hopes are as interwoven in the act as they now are with all your cards on the table.

When Namjoon finishes this time, it’s in sync with you. It’s the first time that happened for the two of you in tandem. As your eyes search his, you're both aware that this shared state of bliss is nothing short of miraculous. As story-worthy as this act has always been between the two of, this time feels different. Markedly so.

Perhaps, it’s because you’ve both dropped your guards enough to fully let the other in, in a way you hadn’t uncovered before. If the crashing of his heartbeat has anything to say about it, Namjoon would probably guess that you've both sunken so deep into each other that it was impossible for the crescendo of your orgasms  not  to crest all at once for the both of you.

Once you’ve gathered yourself enough to speak, you watch Namjoon with dazed eyes, in awe that someone as incredible as him even exists, let alone that you get to call him yours. As he slips out of you, the warmth of his seed flows out between your thighs, and some ridiculous part of you can’t help but smile.

Namjoon catches it too, and leans forward to kiss you. 

“You’re gonna be a great mom, you know that?”

Your eyes flash to meet his. Your body is spent, your emotions are big and at this point, your heart feels so filled to the brim with affection for him that you fear it won’t fit in your body anymore.

“They’re gonna be the luckiest kids in the world to have you for a dad,” you whisper with shining eyes as you touch his chest.

He dips his head, smiling so exorbitantly wide that it consumes his whole face, and all you can think is that you can’t wait to see that dimpled grin shining back at you from the face of a little boy or little girl down the road.

“By the way,” you begin as his gaze perks back up to meet yours. “You should know that we’ve tallied the votes for husband of the year.”

“Oh really?” His brows lift attentively. “Should I pack it up? Is it time to let the dream go? Surely it’s not going to a rookie this year.”

“You’d be surprised,” you tip your head. Taking his hands you place them so they’re cradling your chest. “On behalf of the board and the esteemed academy, it is my honor to present the award of husband of the year to you, Kim Namjoon.”

As he throws his head back, he bursts into a bright fit of laughter and mock cheering like you’re both surrounded by a make believe crowd. 

“Oh my goodness,” he squeezes your breasts in his palm like the globes are irreplaceable awards. “I would just like to thank all the people around the world who supported me and believed me, who shined the light of their support on me even on days when this seemed bleak. We couldn’t have made it here without you guys. This award belongs to all of you.”

He waves to the imaginary audience he’s created before pressing your breasts together and happily burying his smiling face between them. He mumbles something you can’t understand that gets lost in the downy softness of your chest as you laugh at him.

“What are you even saying down there?”

“I’m thanking the people who got me here.” He eyes you soberly like that should be obvious before breaking character and cackling at how ridiculous this is. “I can’t believe we really kept this joke going all day.”

“I can’t believe I got in the tub to clean up the mess you left earlier only to now, once again, be sticky with dried up mess.” You look ruefully between your legs.

“Hey, hey, that mess may very well become your child.” He tuts as you grin and narrow your eyes at him. 

“I don’t think that’s how this works.”

“Semantics,” he shrugs, kissing your nose. You can’t help your eye roll that follows. “Hey,” he breathes, eyes suddenly serious.

“Yes, love?” 

“Please know, whatever happens, I’ll always love you, and I’ll always take care of you. Both of you, if we’re so lucky.” The tips of his fingers rest against your lower belly, and yep. You were right. Your heart bursts clean out of your chest. You can feel the way your eyes glisten, happiness spilling from them as you get lost in Namjoon’s smile.

“I know you will, Joon. I know you will.”

-fin.

#btswritersguild #btswriterscollective #btswritersclub #Kim Namjoon smut #Kim Namjoon fluff #Kim Namjoon angst #Namjoon mafia au #rm smut #rm mafia au #Kim Namjoon arranged marriage au #BTS smut #BTS mafia au #black silk #champagne silk #my writing #BTS angst #BTS fluff #BTS fic #BTS fic series #BTS one shot #Kim Namjoon x reader #Kim Namjoon x you #rm x reader #rm x you

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis is a series that looks at villains across various media in the hopes of coming to something of a consensus on the overall quality of the character. Are they performed well? Do they enrich the narrative? Are their motives fleshed out? Are they voiced by Tim Curry and thus a sex icon? 

There are a lot of important questions that I look into, but ultimately, Psycho Analysis boils down to asking one simple little question: How bad can a character be?

Thankfully, there’s one villain who decided to answer that question for me... in song form.

Psycho Analysis: The Once-ler

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Yeah, I’m finally talking about everyone’s favorite greedy bastard who, back in some of the darkest days of Tumblr history, ended up being the premier sexyman on the website. People were thirsting over this twiggy weirdo, acting as if he were God’s gift to women and shipping him with alternate versions of himself. Much like the movie he’s from, he is now incredibly hard to take seriously.

But hey, speaking of alternate versions of himself, I’m going to be covering him from the original book and the animated short film as well. Might as well just knock it all out of the park at once, right? Now let’s see how ba-a-a-ad this guy can be.

Motivation/Goals: The Once-ler is all about biggering. He’s making thneeds (things that everyone needs) and he is gonna stop at nothing to craft these things. Not even the power of the Lorax, Danny DeVito or otherwise, is going to stay his hand from getting that sweet, soft Truffula fluff to make his wares. This is ultimately a little unrealistic, at least for the Illumination version; if Danny DeVito asked me not to do something, I’d listen, no questions asked.

Performance: In the animated special, Bob Holt does double duty, as he is portraying both Once-ler and the title character. It works really well for what they’re going for, and the double casting is interesting because it highlights the ultimate role of the Lorax as the Once-ler’s conscience given form.

In the film, Ed Helms portrays the Once-ler, and he’s fine. He’s certainly better casting than Audrey, but that’s not particularly saying much considering that’s a non-singing Taylor Swift (when Cats is able to utilize Taylor Swift better than your musical, you know there’s trouble). I don’t know, Ed Helms is fun and all, but I’m just not sure his take on the Once-ler is all too compelling overall.

Final Fate: In the original book and the special, the Once-ler wins… but even he realizes it’s a terrible, pointless victory, and all he has achieved is ruin, his family leaving him, his business ultimately collapsing, and the environment permanently damaged. He’s left as a miserable, jaded hermit, broken by the bleak consequences his greedy actions have sown upon the world and only able to tell his story and pass on the last Truffula seed in the hopes that maybe, maybe someday the trees can regrow and the Lorax will return. The Illumination version follows this but then tacks on a happy ending  where the Lorax and Once-ler reunite because as we know ambiguity and bittersweet endings cannot exist in children’s films.

Best Scene: Obviously it’s the scene where he shakes his ass to seduce Jack Frost, in one of the greatest gay romances ever put to film.

Joking aside, it is undoubtedly his villain song. It has become such a meme, but real talk? “How Bad Can I Be” slaps. This is a really good song, probably too good for the movie but you know what, I’ll take it.

Best Quote: HOW BA-A-A-AD CAN I BE? Yes, I’m using a line from his villain song. Sue me.

Final Thoughts & Score: What can one really say about the movie version of the Once-ler that hasn’t already been run into the ground? Well, how about… He’s not too bad, honestly? Like, yes, he has next to nothing to do with his book counterpart and they really go way too far into trying to make a capitalist pig sympathetic… but the animated special from the 70s did that too. I think the Once-ler honestly works better when there is a dash of complexity to him and he isn’t just a simple-minded Captain Planet villain.

Of course, the issue here is that the 70s version took a simpler approach, kind of less is more. The 70s Once-ler brings up some valid points to the Lorax about his work, and the Lorax can’t help but agree that there’s no easy answer while also stressing that the environmental devastation is still really, really bad. It works, it feels complex, and it arguably helps the ultimate point that we need to protect the environment better than even the book did (and I love the book, don’t get me wrong, but its take on the Once-ler is a bit too simple for its own good; it almost runs into the Femme Fatale problem by being a bit too much of a strawman). The movie version has a bit too much going on, especially with his family. His family are much more blatantly evil, greedy, and manipulative, but they’re relegated to the background for much of the film and don’t effect things all that much. The whole narrative would have been infinitely stronger if they were the greater scope villains behind Once-ler and were who needed to be defeated and maybe taught a lesson, but instead they are ignored in favor of someone I’ll address very shortly.

All of this leaves movie Once-ler feeling extremely disjointed, but not irredeemably so. As I said before, his villain song is unironically awesome, and as lame as it is compared to the more haunting, contemplative ending of the book and the special, I’m not so much of a curmudgeon that I didn’t at least smile when he finally reconciled with the Lorax. Ultimately though, him being memed to death really didn’t help his case, but it means I’m not giving the movie version anything less than a 3/10. He might in fact be the best “so bad it’s good” villain ever, or at least up there. He’s just so undeniably enjoyable even if the narrative isn’t making him as complex as it thinks it is. The animated special version gets a 9/10, the book version is a 7/10, and the Once-ler’s family gets a 5/10 for being an interesting concept they sadly do little with, which will now be elaborated on as I follow up on the foreshadowing from the last paragraph...

Psycho Analysis: Aloysius O’Hare

Remember how I said the Once-ler’s family gets ignored in favor of someone else? Here he is, Aloysius O’Hare, one of the absolute lamest villains ever put to screen.

Motivation/Goals: He’s greedy. That’s it. I’m not kidding. He’s just a cartoonish caricature of a rich person, which still makes him a realistic portayal but also makes him boring as sin compared to the wacky dude with a big musical number about how bad he can be.

Performance: Rob Riggle does a decent job, but there’s really not much for him to work with here. This character is a cardboard cutout who exists to be as cartoonishly greedy and evil as possible with no nuance so the kids know who to root against and so that Once-ler doesn’t look bad in comparison.

Final Fate: Look, he’s a blatantly evil corporate villain in a kid’s movie about the environment. Of course he gets defeated and everyone turns on him. What’s especially funny though is that, on the brink of learning his lesson, he rejects any form of redemption and just goes whole hog on being a villain.

Best Scene: I will absolutely give him this: in the face of his ultimate defeat, after having the virtues of trees sung to him and the entire town turning on him, he for a moment contemplates turning over a new leaf… and then absolutely rejects the thought and instead decides being evil is just too much fun, at which point he tries to get everyone back on his side by seeing a funny little song about death while wavedashing. If more shitty villains did this, I don’t think there would be shitty villains.

Best Quote: LET IT DIE, LET IT DIE, LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIE! Yes I’m quoting a song again.

Final Thoughts & Score: Look, I’m not gonna mine words here: O’Hare sucks. Big time. He is a prime example of why The Lorax failed as an adaptation. In a story that is dealing with a moral grayness with no easy answers, O’Hare is just a big, blatant target, a dark shade of black in terms of black-and-white morality. He’s like a reject Captain Planet villain with Edna Mode’s haircut.

The movie would have been infinitely better if, instead of him, the Once-ler’s family were in control of the town, and they needed to learn the lesson about saving the trees instead of simply vanishing from the story. They were shown to be overbearing, manipulative, and greedy, and they had a much more personal connection with Once-ler being, you know, his actual family. The fact they abandon him and never really get any sort of comeuppance despite being perhaps the most evil people in the move, egging on Once-ler and taking full advantage of him, makes O’Hare all the more egregious, because there could have been some strong thematic elements that would have tied the film together and made it come off as much less preachy and more nuanced.

But we don’t live in a world where that happened, we live in a world where we got O’Hare. Aside from some genuine hilarity from him at the end, O’Hare really adds very little to the film. I gotta give him a 2/10, but I will say he’s a lot closer to a 3 than he is to a 1; there’s no denying his absolute rejection of learning a moral is absolutely hilarious. I love when villains do that. It’s just a shame those funny moments are wrapped up in something monumentally unimpressive.

#Psycho Analysis #The Once-ler #The Lorax #Ed Helms #Aloysius O'Hare #Rob Riggle

[transsexualhamlet]

*slams fists on table* CATASTROPHE ANIME

yeah this is just my long ranting hypothetical post about “omg what if there was an anime for catastrophe at 16″ because I’m like that @autpunk-godling feel free to add on because we just yell about this for hours on end

I have also now brought it up in the discord server just bc i wanna yell about it

This is the recording of all the shit we came up with screaming about it

-it could only possible like after the manga is finished and translated officially plus resurrection novels probably finished or close to but like,,, we can hope, we can dream, please-

-people coming to it and seeing the trailers and shit would probably see the school and the cherry blossoms and go “oh it’s ouran high school host club but like with swords” and then everyone fucking dies and the fans are like I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS???

-everyone new would know the spoilers for the end by like episode 2 bc manga fans wouldn’t be able to shut up cause someone would just like post a screencap of guren saying “i’m gonna save the world” with a pensive emoji under it some anime only would see it and by the end of the day everyone knows how it ends

-gureshin exposure and seeing it on screen like just imagine how fucking gay it’ll look like I swear this would become the new mikayuu like imagine,,, the beginning when he’s leaning over guren’s desk, the love hotel scene, love hotel 2 electric boogaloo, when they fight over who gets to top omg “become my subordinate” “no u” and every time shinya LOOKS at guren, the part where he comes back to guren’s house and goes “uwu you were looking at my phone”, the motorcycle scene, the *thinks about shinya while taking a bath* the entire part where guren goes demon and shinya saves him and holds him and i,,, and well the entire end

-guren’s va in the last episode would be DEAD lemme tell you the SCREAMING I WANT TO HEAR IT

-Hypothetically this would probably cover 2 seasons, the first season covering books 1-3 and 2nd season covering 4-7, and then like. No one’s gonna want to end it at *guren sticks sword in slot* so like uh resurrection’s gonna need to be a thing unless it gets cancelled which uh fuck i hope not

-more appreciation for characters, THERE WOULD BE PEOPLE ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO MITO, GOSHI, SHIGURE, AND SAYURI, guren antis would actually just shut up because they’d see him being a fucking softie, and uh well kureto stans would have something to answer for

-the MEME possibility just THINK of the MEMES

-i want to see the trailers,,, i want to see them,,, i want to-

-the levels of horniness compared to vampire reign omg like they’re the same age as yu squad and they like all wanna fuck like how will that translate to anime like

-the. the last episode i. omg it would be so intense I can’t it would be so epic there would be so much blood oh god

-this would cause more exposure for the manga too because 1. the old anime-onlys would come back, 2. everyone already in the manga fandom will be revived for any kind of content, 3. the fans who’ve dropped off will probably watch it, 4. new fans who liked WIT studio shit will be like :eyes emoji:, fans who looked at the trailer and went that sounds kinda gay will watch it, actual shonen fans and people who like high school anime and liked the vampire reign school arc would watch it, like it would have a pretty good base

-like bro there would be actual diversity in ships kjhghjkj like people would actually pay attention to the characters omg please i just want some content like yes of course gureshin but like also the other characters please CATASTROPHE CONTENT OMG I NEED IT C A T A S T R O P H E  C O N T E N T

-you know how the dub for the vampire reign anime is like 80 percent gayer than the sub with the “girlfriend or boyf-” “or a lover” etc uh how can they possibly make some of the shit in ca16 gayer but they WOULD like uh some of the stuff shinya already says in canon is like so fucking gay like the “you’ll never get a husband if you don’t let me clean your wound haha”, the misunderstanding in the love hotel, the “uwu people will think we’re a couple” on the motorcycle, all of that, there’s more, literally every time someone makes a joke about being in love with guren fucking-

-it would actually be good bc new anime tends to be Shit so yeah people would watch it I swear I think it would get even better ratings than vampire reign because it has a comprehensible plot and the ending and shit is already decided, I think different people would like it

-ok but like the problem is there’s a different beginning in the manga and the light novels of ca16. And like, the manga’s beginning would be a really bad thing to go with. In the light novel, the book starts right off with Guren going into first shibuya high school with sayuri and shigure, explaining the situation with the ichinoses and the hiragis. That’s a good beginning, it gives a good idea of what the story’s gonna be like, it doesn’t give away what’s going to happen. Whereas in the manga, they decided to shoot in before that a bullshit chapter that’s straight out of fucking tokyo babylon. I don’t even,,, it was really bad, and it doesn’t even seem to be canon. There’s no indication that’s anything but like crossover fanfic because the gist of that chapter was Guren, Sayuri, and Shigure like,,, exorcising a bitch which is like so not the vibe of this story. It makes no sense?? That’s not even what Guren did in middle school? What???? There’s also a bunch of really offputting shit in there, if you’ve ever seen it. That’s gonna get rid of so many potential fans. It’s a really bad idea. Also at the end it literally gives away the fact that Guren’s gonna end the world which is just. shit. it’s shit. Like everyone’s gonna know anyway just don’t give it away in canon!!! It was a bad idea in the manga and it would be a terrible decision to do in a potential anime.

-what would it even be rated omg like it’s. So much hornier than vampire reign so like I don’t even fucking know like, there is sex,,, with fucking m a h i r u, i don’t like that, and i mean other than that every other word out of someone’s mouth is wanna fuck like that’s fine in a light novel but on screen uh

-!!!!!! THE OP AND ED !!!!!!!!! the SHIT that would be FORESHADOWED in the ENDING i sWEAR TO GOD I JUST WANT TO S E E  I T like even if they just reused scapegoat and xu it would still be fucking amazing LIKE OK. KAGAMI FORESHADOWED CHAPTER 94 WITH THE ORIGINAL ED WHAT THE F U C K KIND OF FORESHADOWING WOULD GO ON WITH CA16

I just really really really want another song to vibe to ok and I want to see the images i want to see them fighting I want to see them in front of cherry blossoms uuuuuuuuuuu please like I want to see Mahiru like posing with two swords or some shit please omg please mahiru don’t turn into a demon you’re so sexy ahaha

like broooo I really just want to see it like anime ops are just so amazing and epic and the eds are all kinda sad and foreshadowy and UH FOR CATASTROPHE THAT’S LIKE A L O T LIKE THE IMAGES THAT PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE ARE JUST GONNA SEE AND GO “F U C K” like just imagine the ed having like. like guren’s sword in a slot in a white room or like a flash forward to the world after it’s ended

-we can see on screen, colored: NOYA, SAITO, (ferid with green hair???), I want to see all of them omg also maybe they can decide for sure what aoi’s eye color is

-THE ELEVATOR FIGHT WITH GUREN AND SAITO GHHHGHGHGHGH I JUST WANNA S E E IT

-we get to see them actually fight with magic and not like jumping off of buildings abilities and shit

-Guren going demon omg omg omg

-BABY YU BABY YU BABY YU BABY MIKA BABY MIKA BABY SHINOA BABY SHINOA

-I think the anime wouldn’t want to have it end with Guren sticking the sword in the slot so I think they’re probably pull a vampire reign episode 1 and after the sword thing just like,,, fast forward to a quick ambiguous shot of Guren at 24 standing in a broken world in his demon army uniform uuuh like OW I WANNA SEE IT I WANT TO SEE IT I WANT TO oH MY GOD THE CINEMATOGRAPHY-

-in conclusion *mails kagami 12 dollars* pwease mw kagami

#owari no seraph #ca16 #gureshin #long ass post

[aeide-thea]

This is a gentle request for any Geraskier fics you want to rec, because the number of them in the tag is a bit overwhelming but I KNOW there are gems in there 👀

i’m pretty sure i’ve reblogged things in the past! but it’s true that i haven’t done that in any systematic way, so—let’s see. under the cut are 20-ish recs alphabetized by author, which seemed like a good way of avoiding having to make any hierarchical declarations:

o, empathy by almostnectarine/@nectarine-pit: bodyswap! i forgot how much i loved this fic. geralt and jaskier walk a mile in each other’s shoes, and learn to appreciate each other better; this is keenly observed and thought-through, and frequently extremely funny. a thoroughgoing delight.

Jaskier pulled a face and swiveled the straps such that both swords almost fell from their scabbards at once, ruining the moment. “Geralt,” he said, “this leather itches. You’ve lived five lifetimes—” “Not that old,” said Geralt, in protest, and then, considering: “Maybe three.” “—and you never once thought, hm— oh, I see why you do that all the time, it is quite fun, isn’t it— hm, maybe I’ll add a little padding?!” His mimicry of Geralt’s tone was very good, although perhaps it was cheating, when the voice was already the same.

public displays of affection by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: geralt and jaskier go to a sex party! (not to be confused with the other fic by sospes in which geralt and jaskier go to a sex party, which is also excellent.) if that wasn’t enough of a sell, well, you confuse me, but—the flavor of the power dynamic here is a little complex and unusual in a way i enjoyed, plus frankly the description of geralt stripped down for this party is really, uh. really A Lot. i admit to being biased in favor of sex party stories in general but this one is definitely a keeper.

to you always, also by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: in which geralt is a demanding, insatiable bottom. ...honestly, this fic has significantly more emotional weight to it than that description might suggest, but i still stand by it. also the initial setup is just really funny to me, because jaskier getting hilariously outraged by geralt’s sheer infuriating geralt-ness is, like, my fave flavor of jaskier. (that’s a lie, every flavor of jaskier is my favorite flavor of jaskier, but i do really delight in this one.)

@blossomsinthemist’s mixing memory and desire series (wip) is basically my favorite thing ever, like, just truly perfectly crafted to please me personally. it’s h/c, and just astonishingly luxuriant and languorous and lovely—or, okay, let me actually just quote a comment i left on an early chapter:

this is just so exquisitely tender and molasses-lovely-sweet so far, my god the glimpses we get dimly through geralt’s hazy bemused perception of what jaskier’s feeling are so heart-clenchingly poignant—and then of course the glimpses of what geralt himself is feeling for jaskier without understanding it, this stunned rapt gratitude for everything jaskier is doing but also everything jaskier is, the lovely gentle sturdy solicitous gift he is & keeps making of himself to geralt, who would probably call it undeserved except that of course we can see precisely what in geralt has tugged this tenderness from jaskier, this terrible aching wounded gallantry that’s so astonished to meet with respite…

the meet death sitting (wip) series by @bomberqueen17 is my other favorite thing—much plottier than the previous, with a much wider cast of characters, and while i’m ultimately in it for the geralt/jaskier and therefore being strung along in exquisite agony while all sorts of plot things get in the way of any real resolution of that, it’s honestly worth it; what you lose in immediate gratification you gain in, like, a sense that this story inhabits a real, full world, with real events that aren’t just arranged to suit our heroes’ convenience. if i could only get you to read two things it would be this series and the previous one: between them they have my heart. anyway i guess i may as well quote myself again:

it’s the rich realistic interweaving of things that’s so remarkable here, how the absolute throat-thickening aches run abruptly up against the entirely mundane and all of it has to be coped with, because that’s life, and this story has life within it, in a realer way than probably anything else in the fandom, maybe anything else i’ve read in a long time. and of course a large part of me is so, so desperate for geralt and jaskier to finally come back together, with enough time and space to settle into a mutual secure tenderness instead of the current wordless, longing, poised-always-to-spring-away-like-deer-in-a-forest situation; but the story is coaxing me into a more adult patience, an appreciation for the smaller quieter incidental pleasures that aren’t the one subsuming great love, and then also teaching me to live with the wounds one inevitably acquired along the way, the pull and ache of those that makes the whole thing real, not a shining fantasy but a homely pie with a rich satisfying filling, savory and bolstering.

my body bruises at your touch by @brawlite: jaskier gets tied up by geralt as bait for the monster of the week, and discovers he likes it quite a bit. smut (and then aftercare) ensues.

demand an encore (wip) by emamel/@theaceace: jaskier is a witcher of the viper school, or used to be. he doesn’t remember it, but geralt does.

it’s been a while since i read this, but the way the layers slowly start fitting together is really satisfying: all the joy of what i think the kids call ‘identity porn,’ with the twist that here, it’s geralt who knows both identities, and jaskier who’s still in ignorance. ugh, i want chapter 3 now.

musica universalis by flirtygaybrit is bookverse and clearly so—it’s not romantic, but there’s a particular ambiguous flavor of solicitous tenderness that elevates this ‘friendly drunken hookup’ scenario to something memorable for me.

of cherries and dandelions by heyriel: in which a still-virginal jaskier bites off more than he can chew, and tries to disguise it until he can’t anymore. as i said to the author:

this is lovely and realistic in its navigation of, like, trying to Be Cool and the ways that can sometimes get you in trouble as a young sexplorer—geralt is so good to jaskier here and i’m having feelings about it!

also geralt uses a dildo on jaskier, which was not a thing i’d known i wanted before reading this, but it turns out i’m very decidedly here for it! i haven’t seen a ton of sex toys in geraskier fic and this story makes me wish there were more.

gentle-sharp and strange by lisztful has some excellent touch-starved pining geralt, also a performatively public bath scene with very satisfactory sexual tension, also an Ancient Tradition which is maybe the thing i remember most about this fic.

i know that you would want it (if i could sink my teeth into you) by objectlesson is... look, there’s an actual emotional arc to this story, but really what i always remember about it is that it’s got the most overwhelmingly visceral rimming scene i’ve maybe ever read? it’s a lot, it’s a gift, go read it.

@pasdecoeur has several stories that are very funny with some very piercingly erotic moments! briefly sketched in some ways and more pining than porny but no less effective for it.

benefits by @shastafirecracker is a pwp story in which jaskier is first surprised to find geralt wants him to top, and then determined to give geralt the best dicking he’s ever had. jaskier’s inner dialogue in this one is really fun; geralt’s exterior dialogue is true to the show in that it’s minimal but nonetheless includes a bad pun. :)

even a small love by shecrows/@leighway is like. you think you know how things are going to go, and then jaskier balks and it abruptly swerves sideways and develops a whole plot, and then comes back around to where it started, but deeper and better. don’t you love how you can summarize a fic without saying anything meaningful or even helpful about it? anyway: read this one.

snowmelt by silklace/@silkcoeur is a/b/o and somehow both extremely hilarious and extremely hot in full measure. the banter is a fucking delight but so are the tension/sex/feelings.

It wasn’t until they were well on the road away from town that it really hit him, though possibly he should have been paying attention to the way the backs of his knees had started sweating the minute he’d seen Geralt walking towards him outside of Yennefer’s manor, or to the way his throat had gone hot and dry despite the taste of sweetness still on the back of his teeth from the wine skin he’d pilfered from her pantry on his way out. In his defense, he’d still been recovering from spending the prior evening steadfastly spitting his insides up onto his outsides. Also, he tended to always get a little sweaty around Geralt, a fact they were both apparently extremely united in assiduously pretending was not happening.

the sevenfold path by star_flaming/@europeansdomusicalsbetter: in which jaskier is demonstrably extremely well educated, and geralt has feelings about it. (i also have feelings about it, but mine are in my pants.)

you are in my blood by @suzukiblu​: au where jaskier is a bruxa. this alters his character significantly—hard to be too skittish about bloodletting when you’re a vampire!—but the story’s so engaging you probably won’t care? plus, uh, hot. :)

Jaskier’s just debating how much trouble he’s actually in when Geralt, marvelously, talks them out of it. After that, well... Jaskier still wants to eat him very badly, but he supposes it’d be a bit ungrateful of him. Geralt isn’t very impressed with the song he writes for him, unfortunately—which, rude—but doesn’t try to run off and leave him either, so.. Well, Jaskier’s a bit smitten. A delicious-smelling witcher who can talk his way out of being murdered is very impressive. And he always has wanted a pet.

taran (@iamtaran)’s manhandling without plot series has no sex but lots of violent, compellingly visceral hijinks and i like to think of it as preslash. three times geralt hauls jaskier out of trouble.

Jaskier is flat on his back with his chemise rucked up to his armpits, salve burning on his bruised ribs, breathing hard; he is drunk, but not nearly as drunk as he was when he threw that first punch; Geralt is stupidly strong and has him pinned beneath one hand and the sheer girth of his own hips, looking grumpy and short on patience, and under everything—the aromatic menthol and chamomile smell of the salve, the aching of his cheek and lip, the relief of seeing Geralt just as upright and uninjured as he had been when he left, Jaskier is… He had thought he was furious. He still is, somewhat. Like… like a seed is a flower. It was, at first, before it became something else. And given enough time it might become such again. It is what it is in the meantime, however. Fury. Seeds.

last but not least, @toyhto​ has a bunch of fics that crack me the fuck up: geralt is unbelievably oblivious to his own emotions even as he acts on them, and it’s just—it’s so, so funny. also sometimes quite sweet, and sometimes quite painful! there’s a particular air of, i don’t know, almost see-spot-run impenetrability to the writing here that lends itself perfectly to the thing the stories are doing, where geralt is just operating totally on a surface level and, like, feelings are moving in the deep but he can’t quite see them...

...and that’s all for now! more to come later, maybe; but this seems like plenty for a first pass, and anyway i’m blurbed out.

#the witcher #geraskier #fic #recs

[centrally-unplanned]

The Phantom of the Opera Movie: How (not) to Adapt Your Fanfic to Stage & Screen

I recently watched the infamously-maligned trainwreck that is the 2004 Phantom of the Opera film adaptation of the stage musical, which lived up to its reputation! Rehashing the atrocious casting of literally-sang-for-the-first-time-two-weeks-before-filming-Music-of-the-Night Gerard Butler as the Phantom is well-trod territory, but I don't think that is the real crux of the film's failings. Instead, I think it serves as a quintessential example of the failure to transition from stage to screen - and how lucky the stage adaptation was.

For the "PotO" uninitiated, despite the endless shipping the titular Phantom and the female deuteragonist Christine do not have a romantic relationship. Oh the Phantom is trying to get down with that, for sure, but she sees him as either a ghost, an angel, or a terrorist at various points, never a credible love interest. In the original novel this is extremely explicit, and it is actually preserved in the stage adaptation - though as you realize with this film not intentionally.

In a stage musical, audiences don't really "suspend disbelief" the way they do for something like movies. There is one or more human beings, right in front of them, being real people in a wooden box with minimalist decour - the artifice is inescapable. Which is fine, actually! Instead of being immersed in the worldbuilding the audience can appreciate the craft of it all, the acting chops of the leads and the high notes they hit and the cool set designs around them. As such strong plots for musicals aren't really required; details are skipped over in exchange for focusing on other aesthetic elements. More importantly for our purposes, in a musical like Phantom of the Opera the audience isn't set up to expect a tight directorial vision, with instead the characters being the a product of the choices of the actors themselves - people even look out for the different interpretations different leads will bring to the same script. Each performance is itself an adaptation.

This lack of verisimilitude does wonders for the musical version of Phantom of the Opera. Honestly, plot-wise and arc-wise? Phantom of the Opera isn’t that great. Christine, one of the supposed leads, has no motivation for like 90% of run-time, instead being buffeted about by the whims of other, more powerful characters (just like early 20th century France ooooh, eat it Leroux), and Raoul, her earnest, wealthy suitor-cum-fiance, is the dried cement of love interests with no arc to speak of. Lots of plot elements are covered quickly and left vague as to their meaning. But really, who cares? You get to watch a tortured, corrupted genius offer a panoply of shadowed delights to a beautiful ingenue in a rock-opera baritone, and Rage Against The System so hard when spurned they drop a God-damn chandelier on the stage - that’s really all you need!

In the stage musical there is often - lets be honest very often - sexual subtext between the Phantom and Christine. But that is the choice of the actors, it's not in the script, it stays subtext. You are there to watch those actors put their spin on it and take it to the limit - let them have fun with the material! On stage it serves a great metaphorical function; to be tempted by music, by the mystery of darkness, has been metaphorical sex for so long it needs no more explication. 

Now, however, we loop back to the movie adaption, with two key points to establish. First, movies do not work like musicals. There is no live person in front of you, every shot is the product of a dozen takes and as many hours of editing choices, and as a viewer you are dragged along lockstep seeing the results of these choices. All of this is in the service of building a cohesive vision that allows the audience to fully suspend disbelief. The price for this immersion is that now every moment of the film is imbued with intent. Everything has to be there for a reason, the way things in reality are - or more accurately the way we want reality to be. To quote Best Girl Mizusaki:

(Just when you thought I was going to write a media essay without being a huge weeb for once, huh?)

What's true for animation is almost as true for film, all of which means that how characters act is no longer an actor on stage doing their spin but the cohesive narrative of a story.

Second, the movie takes all of that fanshipping sexual subtext and cranks it all the way up the nosebleed seats, while changing none of the relevant plot points. In fact, it adds plot details to strip away the musical’s ambiguity! One of Christine's opening scenes, only briefly touched on in the stage musical, explains cleanly that she considers the Phantom the angel of her dead father come down to protect and guide her. Later in the show, as the Phantom's villainy becomes more apparent, when propositioned by Raoul her only objection is to how the Phantom might hurt her if he found out. Well after all of his temptations, rage, and villainy, near the climax of the film, she still sings in a graveyard about her uncertainty over whether or not he is a literal ghost or spirit of her father. So the plot structure is preserved and explicit - Christine is drawn to him due to his musical talent and offerings of instruction, is unsure if he is even human, but realizes his corporeality, villainy, and fundamental pitiable humanity at the end. Raoul throughout is her explicit, engaged-to-be-married romantic partner.

So then why are her and the Phantom fucking??

Seriously, I cannot undersell how sexual their scenes are.They are all over each other, fingers gliding over skin, and the next scene after this one is her in his bed with sex-hair all over the place! This subtext is continued in every scene they have together, long after he has been revealed as a murderer. At one point he confronts her in public, with her fiance watching, and it's still played like he is the Tuxedo Mask to her Sailor Moon. Even the scene where she takes off his mask is shot like it was foreplay-gone-wrong, and the Phantom just forgets to say his safeword in time (This is why you pre-negotiate about your kinks, all!).

Any movie-goer understands what the intent of scenes like these are, why a director would choose these actions & shots; they want us to know that they are getting busy off camera, even if only by implication. We know they don't actually do that because there is a book to refer back to but damn does this movie want us to forget that...in these scenes. Which is the problem, of course - the rest of the movie operates as normal! In the above scene Christine thinks the Phantom is, again I must emphasize this, the ghost of her father; apparently she is going for the reverse-Oedipus achievement but no one told the rest of the script. Is she lying to Raoul about her love and her reasons? Is she actually tempted? Stop telling me you are unlovable via haunted monologues Gerard Butler, you look like testosterone on a stick and y'all boned literally five minutes ago, I am not buying it!

The subtext and the text are at war with each other - and given that, as we established, the dynamic between the Phantom & Christine is really the only interesting part about this story, strip that down to a muddled mess and you really have nothing left. And in a movie, subtext like this is just another form of text - the director chose these shots, it's intended. Beyond the terrible vocal performances and sometimes baffling shot direction, the movie's biggest failing is this schizophrenic mismatch between the script and the actions on screen which is a problem the stage musical honestly didn't have to worry about. These scenes are not set up like this, and the ability to add subtext by the actors is just fundamentally limited by the medium; it cannot touch the story itself, which isn't even the focus of the audiences. Even if these contradictions did exist more in the stage musical, they wouldn't doom it due to the nature of said medium.

Which is very, very fortunate, because there is one final point to make - Andrew Lloyd Weber, the creator of the stage musical, wholeheartedly approved of this direction for the movie. He produced the film, wrote the screenplay, chose the director, the works - this is his film. And, as is apparently from interviews and a...not fondly remembered stage sequel to the musical that he wrote, he ships the Phantom and Christine hard. Not in the "oh I love their dynamic on screen way", but in the Ao3 sort-by-fetish-tags "they are my Trash'' way. And I would never begrudge a man his ships, but apparently he was not content to keep it away from the canon. He absolutely reads the stage musical this way as well!  It's just one of those interesting ironies of life - one of the most successful adaptations of a book to a stage musical was made by someone who, in my opinion, did not grasp the fundamentals of the story he was adapting. We just didn't notice because the medium didn't care, and also damn can he write a score that slaps.

I would not be the first person to say that this movie for Andrew Lloyd Weber is something of a George Lucas moment for him, a creator completely missing the appeal of his own work; but after seeing it the comparison rang deeply true. The Phantom of the Opera movie is truly the Phantom Menace of musicals.

No, I don't feel bad for that last line, why do you ask?

#I had to edit the Eizouken screenshot because the subtitles appeared at an awkward moment #So I just took a adjoining frame that looked much cleaner and had a better pose and re-inserted the subtitles #I def went way too far for a random Eizouken reference - anything for the Brand I guess! #poto #phantom of the opera #media essays

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 14x15

BEWARE! SPOILERS!

A bit late, but I’m not feeling that well at the moment and I couldn’t really find the mental energy to do an episode review before (not sure about now either, but here it goes).

Overall I liked the episode a lot. I loved the aesthetic of Charming Acres, loved the humour and that in Sam and Cas’s part of the story Cas was our POV-character (please more of that). Jack’s storyline continues to be interesting as well, and I am intrigued to see where the show will be going with this.

So, without further ado, here we go again.

“God has a beard”

Let’s start with Cas, as this part of the episode is told from his perspective. We get several reminders that Cas is different and doesn’t fit in in Charming Acres, because he isn’t human, but also because of his morals. Just as in the previous episode we are reminded that Cas is an angel. He doesn’t sleep and doesn’t eat, and for some time the milkshake Sam had serves as a Red Herring, making us believe this is what turned Sam into Justin Smith. But it is not because Cas doesn’t eat (which is a by-product of being an angel), it is his angelhood itself that prevents him from becoming one of the victims of the mayor. He very clearly uses his powers to threat Sunny and in the end even says directly “I’m not human”. I feel like all those reminders of what Cas is and what he is not (human) will culminate in him making a decision whether he wants to remain an angel or not. Last week he told Jack about the burden of his long life – that eventually he has to witness the death of everyone he cares about. Also his deal with the Empty is tied to his status his angel. While being an angel was an advantage on the last two hunts (Noah couldn’t see Cas, the psychic had no effect on him), Cas status as other is overall not something positive, because it separates him from his family and the people he cares about.

But there was another level in which Cas didn’t fit in: his lack of morals. This is implied by the landlady and the accusingly look she gave Cas. Cas is also linked to Sunny, the only other person in Charming Acres who is not affected by the mayor (because she is not entirely human as well). It is Cas who finds Sunny’s letters to Conrad, and just as Cas Sunny is lacking some morals, because her letters were rather passionate, implying she had premarital sex. In the movie “Pleasantville”, about a town very similar to Charming Acres, it is (premarital) sex that sets a lot of the characters free. However Cas’s lack of morals isn’t about premarital sex. Just as in the previous episode he is queer coded, starting with him mimicking a handjob while talking about Sunny’s letters, to him asking several people whether they have seen his partner, a rather ambiguous term.

But there is another parallel between Cas and Sunny: the promise they made to a dead mother. In Sunny’s case it was to her own mother, in Cas’s case to Kelly. Both promised to take care of a family member: Sunny of her father, Cas of his son, Jack. But Sunny has to break her promise after she realizes that her father has become a monster. Instead of killing him however she trapped him inside his own mind, where he is happy, but can no longer hurt anyone. This could be a foretelling to what will happen to Cas and Jack. Dean and Cas are both worried about Jack, who consumed a great part of his soul in order to defeat Michael, and if his lack of a soul will turn him into a monster as well. Does Cas has to break his promise as well? Will he find a non-violent way to stop Jack from hurting others?  

And then of course we have Sam, who is deeply affected by the loss of the AU hunters, as he had seen them as his responsibility. I wonder if people like Sam, people in an already low place, would have been more easily affected by the mayor than people who were already happy. But of course the happiness of Charming Acres is ultimately fake. Nobody can be genuinely happy if you take away their free will and their agency. Sam/Justin’s happiness is based on the absence of pain because he can no longer remember his former life, but pain is part of living as well, and genuine happiness comes with the acceptance of pain.

The fight scene between Sam and Cas was of course a huge parallel to the fight scene between Dean and Cas in 10x22 (and Cas now keeps wondering why those things keep happening to him). However compared to 10x22 felt almost anticlimactic and less tensioned. Also, what I found interesting is that Cas did manage to talk Sam out of his trance, however in 10x22 Dean was still heavily under the influence of the MoC, and yet he didn’t kill Cas.

Back in the bunker Sam says that the place no longer feels like a home, because of all the tragedy happening inside of it, constant reminders of the people they lost. He says he needs some space, but it made me wonder if maybe, especially as the show might come to an end in the near future, the Winchesters will get a new home, one that isn’t tied to their jobs, where they can make new happy memories.

“'WWWD' -- 'What Would the Winchesters Do?’”

Parallel to Sam and Cas, Dean and Jack’s storyline also centered around morality or the lack of it. The big question was about Jack’s soul: how much was left of it and how it would affect it. So Dean decides to take him to the only other currently soulless person he knows: Donatello.

I think Dean’s little test with the Angel Food Cake and the Devil’s Food Cake was there to add some humour, but had within the episode itself no deeper meaning. Outside the episode however it validated the significance of food as a metaphor, or as Rowena would say: everything means something.

And then there is also Dean’s invented new saying: It is not the snake that is dangerous but their bite. Meaning you should not judge someone on what they are but rather on their actions. Then again others would argue that it is in the snake’s nature to bite, and while we can’t blame the snake, it is inevitable that it will happen. Concerning Jack we go back to old question that has been asked since he was born: nurture or nature, which will affect him more? Is it inevitable that Jack will become a monster, because of his powers and the lack of his soul? Should we judge him on his actions? Back when Jack was born Dean only judged him based on his nature. He is a Nephilim, therefore he must be bad. Since then though things have changed.

Donatello gives Jack the advice to basically fake it, basing his decisions on what the Winchesters would do, using them as his moral guide. Which is a terrible advice because the Winchesters not always make the best choices. But the fact that Jack can no longer decide on his own what is right and what is wrong is worrying. I took the fact that he cared about the wellbeing of Felix the snake as a good sign, but in the end Jack decided that killing the snake would be the best for it, demonstrating his powers, and playing God in deciding who lives and who not. Thinking that its death would be the best for the snake and also believing that is what the Winchesters would have done shows how alarmingly off Jack is.

Until next week <3

#supernatural #spn 14x15 #peace of mind #spn meta #spoilers #my meta

[dorkyungsoowrites]

Spontaneous Attraction Ch. 29

Pairings: Kyungsoo x You

Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut | Ambiguous AU

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5.6k

Description: Kyungsoo tries to ask you a question.

A/N: It is explained, but there's a significant time jump from the last chapter.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |

"So what's the special occasion?" The question had been choked down for hours in the back of your throat. He made you promise to trust him when he came home that night and told you to dress up as he hurried to put on a suit. So you did and followed him to a restaurant. The one you went to on your first date, you noted. You even sat at the same booth. Everyone else around you wore comfortable jeans and other casual wear. You felt terribly overdressed. But the real thing that tipped you off that something more was going on--something more than a normal date night--was when he ordered two glasses of expensive wine. It just wasn't like him to drink that often. At least not fancy rosé like the waiter was pouring for you both. Filling the tall stemmed glasses a third of the way with the shimmering pale pink liquid. Kyungsoo was fidgeting also. Tugging on the cuffs of his sleeves and smoothing his tie. Going to run his fingers through his hair only to remember he styled it up and stopping himself. Pushing up his glasses instead. He was nervous about something. So once the waiter left with your food orders you let your curiosity be known. You adjusted your dress as you waited for him to answer your question.

"Well, I-" Kyungsoo halted with a dry voice. He held up a finger for you to wait then grabbed his wine glass. Tipping the alcohol past his lips, you watched him swallow twice before setting down an almost empty glass. You reached partway across the table, palm up, and lowered your voice.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? You're worrying me." He reacted immediately by placing his hand in yours, curling his fingers around it. His palm was sweaty.

"Nothing," he urged with a shake of his head. Kyungsoo exhaled forcibly to calm himself and smiled, the corners of his mouth fighting with his will to show he wasn't anxious. His gaze settling on you in that way that filtered out the rest of the world. "Absolutely nothing could be wrong with you here." You giggled and squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture.

"My heart still does funny things when you talk like that."

"In a good way?"

"You're endlessly charming. You should know that by now, Kyungsoo." You stroked the side of his hand with your thumb. His eyes flickered to the movement. His focus was back on your features just as quickly.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm trying to surprise you, but I'm not very good at hiding my nerves."

"Why would you be nervous? You know I love surprises." He looked away. Back to your joined hands. You stopped your thumb when he pinched the silver band on your ring finger and began to twirl it. His answer was spoken slowly. Carefully. Trying to keep his secret.

"I...don't know how you'll react to this one."

"Well then I'll wait until we're done eating. That way you can have time to relax and think of what to say and even if I don't like it, which I seriously doubt, we'll still have had a nice dinner together. Dressing up was a cute idea by the way."

"Yeah?" Then he repeated it as if to confirm to himself. "Yeah, after eating. Sounds good." You reached for your wine glass with your free hand, swirling the liquid inside first to see the little layer of film appear. You took a small sip, letting the sharp tang hover on your tongue before swallowing. It was sweeter than you anticipated. You brightened your smile and changed topics. Fingertips playing with the stem of your glass.

"So, did Chanyeol tell you about his new project?" Kyungsoo shook his head, eyes hesitantly raising to yours. "He's making a mixtape for his girlfriend for christmas."

"They've been together a year right?"

"Almost. I remember because they started dating about a month after our third anniversary."

"It's crazy how almost four years can feel like a lifetime," Kyungsoo mumbled with a softness to his tone.

"As long as he doesn't recreate our accidental audio for the boys then I think he'll be fine." You both laughed at the memory. The day Junmyeon called to scold Kyungsoo and you on speaker over the phone had to be the most embarrassed you've ever been. Apparently Yixing was the first to discover the recording and had frozen in shock and horror. Sehun thought his face would be permanently red. It was deleted in every way imaginable before you could even apologize.

One day while visiting Kyungsoo at work things got a little out of control in the practice room. It had been on your fantasy list, you could turn on a light to show not to disturb the people inside, and it was soundproof. The perfect spot to get away with having sex. So you thought. Turns out when Kyungsoo flipped on the light outside the door he started recording by accident. The two microphones in the room picked up everything. Yes, everything. Especially to your frustration the next few weeks after that, the way Kyungsoo spoke to you when he was dominating you. Baekhyun and Jongdae and Sehun had teased you for so long. Now, however, it was just another funny story on your list of anecdotes that you could laugh at with everyone. It was over a year ago at this point.

"Speaking of dates," you continued. "Your christmas concert is next week right? Then those extra concerts in southern Japan. Will you be back in time for your birthday?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well what about our anniversary? I know five is supposed to be the bigger one, but we can make four fun too." You saw his thoughts flickering behind his eyes. Staring into space. Had he even heard you? Then his eyebrows twitched up minutely. Like he had an idea. He snapped back to reality.

"Actually, I...I wanted to talk to you about that." He must have seen how your smile sagged because he laced your fingers together tightly and corrected himself quickly before you could assume anything bad. "I meant the concert. Yes I'll be home for our anniversary. Shit, my brain is all over the place right now." So he had heard you.

"Okay," you answered warily before perking up. Letting his odd behavior roll off your back. "What's up?"

"Maybe you can come with me?"

"To Japan?"

"Yes. You always talk about wanting to see our concerts but never being able to buy tickets. Let me talk to our manager about letting you come."

"Kyungsoo, we've discussed you just letting me in your concerts. It doesn't feel right."

"Then you can pay for your own flight and share a hotel room with me just like we would on holiday. Consider the concert my christmas gift." His hopeful grin made you want to accept. It widened when he saw you contemplating the offer. "Come on, I'd love to share my work with you. You can watch us perform and hear the fanchants. The whole experience. And we get to spend christmas together." Your heart began to melt until you remembered something.

"Christmas..." You took your hand back dejectedly. Both of you wiped the dampness off from his sweating palm. "I have my christmas concert with the orchestra. I can't leave."

"Oh...that's right." He was already thinking up a plan to get this to work. "Don't they have substitutes? You could say you're sick."

"I'd love to spend christmas with you, sweetheart. You know I would. But some of the other orchestra members know Exo. They'll see I was at your concert. I'd never ditch my job like that anyway." He downed the rest of his rosé. You witnessed his hope crumbling. Biting the inside of his lip to contain his frown. You wanted to make it work. For him. Brain working toward a compromise. "...but I can fly out to the concert after that. That's only three days after christmas. We can do that." The joy he exuded at your offer could have lit up the universe. Or maybe that was just the illusion since his eyes held so many stars. You wanted to take his face in your hands and kiss him breathless. You imagined the other restaurant patrons wouldn't appreciate that so much, though. He was about to burst with happiness. You needed to add your condition before he got too carried away. "If your manager says it's fine, then I'll quietly sit backstage so I don't feel like I'm taking anyone's spot who bought a ticket."

"Yes, of course. Anything. I'll talk to him first thing tomorrow, jagi. Thank you." The waiter came back to refill your wine glasses. He left right after with a quick mention that your food was almost done.

"Is that what you were so nervous about before Kyungsoo?"

"No, but uh, well." He was searching for the right words. "Why wait until after eating? I, uh, got a part in a new movie." It didn't sound very practiced. You wondered for a second if this was truly what had him so worked up before.

"Why were you so nervous then? That's fantastic news, darling. Now I understand why we dressed up. This is so nice."

"Because, uh...there's a kissing scene."

"Kyungsoo," you laughed. "How ridiculous. It's just acting. I won't be upset. It's so great you can keep making films. Can you tell me anything about the plot or is it a secret?"

"Secret," he sighed in relief. One side of his mouth pulling up further than the other in a lop-sided smile.

"Are you the lead? I mean you must be with how good you are." He chuckled bashfully at your compliment.

"Thank you, but I'm still learning."

"So...?"

"Yes, me and the two actors playing beside me are the leads."

"When do you start working on it?"

"The first table read is in two weeks."

"See? That wasn't so hard." You raised your glass. "To the success of your career." He mimicked you and added,

"To you coming to our concert." The crystal rang when you tapped your glasses together, stopping as you both sipped the sweet wine. Ready to enjoy your dinner with no nerves getting in the way.

The amount of notifications you got the next week from all the members was staggering. They were all so excited to show you their tour life. You received the okay from their manager to sit backstage or stand by the security at the front of the stage so you could watch as well as listen. So once you finished the last day of your own christmas concerts you flew out to meet them. The venue was huge and you had to put on a staff badge Kyungsoo had given you so no one would kick you out. You arrived hours ahead so you could see the rehearsal. Sneaking in and sitting near the stage to watch as they finalized the lighting setup and ran through a few of the sets to check the audio. Smiling to yourself as you observed their professionalism even when going over where they were meant to stand on stage during dance breaks and such. It was fascinating. The differences between your concert prep and theirs was incredible. The rush of taking in a multitude of new things at once was exhilarating. There must have been dozens of lighting techs and audio engineers and stage hands. Not to mention the power it took to use all these ginormous LED walls and spotlights. Then you had to coordinate them all together. There was an expert for every facet of the concert. It was the largest front of house setup you'd ever seen. You were half afraid of the chaos you would find backstage.

It was after the staff declared they were prepared and the members went away that you made your way backstage. Sure it was a humongous space, but you had been inside enough concert halls in your life to navigate your way easily enough. Plus the boys were pretty loud. You found them in the green room away from staff fighting over snacks. The space was fairly large for a green room with two big sofas, a wall of vanities for makeup, and a table with an assortment of drinks and food on it on the far wall. You were frightened to think of the disarray it would all be in by the end of the night.

When you entered and said hello all nine of them came barreling to give you a hug. You laughed and greeted each of them. They were more chipper than usual. Hyped up for the concert, you imagined. Kyungsoo waited to be the last, dipping down for a quick kiss before inviting you to sit with him. Everyone slowly trickling back to the sofas with you as they got their snacks and water. You chatted like normal until a few makeup artists came in. You were introduced before they stole away a few of the members at a time to get them ready. You followed Kyungsoo to the vanity out of curiosity and talked with the woman doing his makeup as she worked. Doing your best trying to understand what Kyungsoo experienced whenever he had to tour. You weren't sure how he managed it all. There were a million things he had to remember and keep organized, and he had to do it while smiling and having fun. You know they all loved it, but you would've collapsed from exhaustion years ago. It was a blessing they all had such bright and energetic personalities. It made everything easier for them. It was no wonder why Kyungsoo had been so grateful towards you all that time back when you first started dating. Your support and encouragement meant a lot to him in times like these. When days blurred together and there was so much to memorize and adapt to. You were his grounding force. The calm amidst the flurry of busy schedules. You only wish you could always be there for him. Like on christmas.

"Alright," the woman doing his makeup declared. Snapping you out of your thoughts. She set down the brush she had just been using and switched it for a pencil and a pink tube. "I'm doing his lips, so no more kissing tonight."

"Yes ma'am," you chuckled. It had been amazing watching him transform. The makeup itself was subtle, but it highlighted some of his best features. The eyeliner, the slightest contour of his cheekbones, and his lips. She matched his shade almost exactly. The wand with the tinted lip gloss painting on the last touches to his look. Kyungsoo smacked his lips together a few times, making a popping noise.

"You're all done. You know the drill." She began packing up her things while Kyungsoo stood and took your hand.

"Follow me," he told you. The next stop was in a different room down the hall nearest the stage. Some of the others were already in chairs on one side. The other half of the room was dedicated to clothing racks with nine variations of each outfit they'd wear that night. And every rack had a tag with a members name on it. Kyungsoo paused in front of his and let go of your hand. You stood to the side while he changed. This room smelled like various hair products. Exactly like a salon. Right as you thought that a woman turned on a hairdryer and began blowing out Jongdae's hair. You did your best to stay out of the way when Kyungsoo sat in one of the empty chairs and started getting his hair styled. The man doing it was friendly and rambled on about his wife and two daughters while he worked various mousses and sprays into Kyungsoo's thick locks. Blowing it out even though there wasn't much for his brush to grab so it had more volume and stayed in place. Suddenly you felt someone poking your sides and you startled with a tiny gasp and whirled around to see Baekhyun. He chuckled and pulled you away from Kyungsoo, leaning close.

"I have a question for you." You weren't sure why he was speaking so conspiratorially, but didn't think much about it.

"What is it?"

"Have you ever thought about how Kyungsoo will propose to you?" You grinned and shook you head. It wasn't even a question to the others if he was going to at some point by now. They joked about how you acted married already. You had to scold them to stop pestering him with it a while back.

"Well that's out of nowhere. Not really. Why?"

"Oh I was just thinking about it seeing you here. I could see him calling you out on stage at the end of the concert and asking. Don't you? That'd be really romantic."

"You mean awful?" you scoffed. Baekhyun's grin dimmed slightly. "Being the center of focus in front of thousands of people sounds like my nightmare scenario. Why do you think I love being third chair in the orchestra? No solos." His eyes darted over your shoulder. You glanced and greeted Kyungsoo as he strolled up beside you.

"B-but,' Baekhyun stammered like he was working to get his thoughts out as quickly as possible. "I thought you loved big romantic gestures and all that?"

"In movies," you replied. "I'd probably get a panic attack if he took me up on stage. Besides," you nudged Kyungsoo with your shoulder. "He doesn't need to try. He's already naturally a prince charming." You expected a hardier chuckle from him, but they both only gave you forced smiles and a quiet,

"Thanks jagi," from beside you.

"Anyway," you brushed off. "Fairy tales are nice and all, but we're private people. I couldn't imagine Soo kneeling on stage. It just wouldn't be him. You, maybe. Chanyeol, definitely." Baekhyun joined your laughter then.

"Yeah. Yeol would pull something like that. Hey, uh, why don't we do your concert ritual?"

"But it's not my concert."

"Well maybe I want to start doing it too."

"You want to walk around all the different seating sections to see the stage through your audiences eyes?" you questioned skeptically. Not for his intention. He had a good heart. But going around the whole arena would take time he didn't seem to have.

"Well then we'll skip to sitting in the back row. Can I steal her Soo?"

"Yeah," he answered slowly. Then his brain caught up and he pointed at Baekhyun. "But you need to be back in twenty minutes for micing."

"You got it." The singer grabbed your hand and bounded away, pulling you with him.

It took half the time allotted just to walk up to the furthest row. When you sat you both marveled at how small the staff appeared. Even the front of house looked like ants. Imagining what it would look like once the seats were filled. Baekhyun set his hand on your knee. You looked over but he was still focused on the stage. He began massaging your knee anxiously. Voice soft and eyes serious.

"Everything's going to change, isn't it?"

"Why do you think that?"

"When you marry Kyungsoo for real."

"Baekhyunnie," you cooed. "Is there something you want to tell me about tonight?"

"No," he answered calmly. "No, just...saw something online. That's all." You rested your hand on top of his to still it and hopefully comfort him. He took a deep breath and clasped your hands together. His fingers squeezing tightly.

"Have you all been getting enough sleep? I know how you get."

"That's not it."

"Are you sure? Because everyone's been acting a little strange since I got here, and I'd like to blame it on excess adrenaline."

"You've just never seen us before a concert," he smirked. As his mood brightened it eased your worry slightly, but you weren't stupid. Something was going on. You put your other hand over the ones already joined, encapsulating his soft hand in both of yours.

"Well please take care of yourself. You make me worry when you talk like that. You know Kyungsoo loves you. He would never leave. Not even for me."

"He left the dorm for you, and he said he'd never do that."

"Oh honey," you breathed before pulling him in for a hug. Both of you twisted sideways in your chairs to reach comfortably. You felt him hide his face in your neck. He might have smudged his makeup so you threw caution out and carded your fingers through his hair. Petting him to soothe him. It was still soft under all the hairspray. "Even if Kyungsoo wanted to run off and elope with me tonight nothing would change tomorrow. Marriage isn't some all-encompassing event that changes everything. It's a piece of paper and some words. Adding one more member to your family doesn't sound that scary, does it?"

"You're already family," he spoke firmly. Words muffled by your clothes. "But you're right. You make it sound like it's not that big. Thank you." You eased him off you and smiled gently while fixing his hair back into place.

"Besides, who knows if we'll ever even get married. Either way we'll be here for you. All of us together. Okay? I promise. Do you feel better?" He nodded and returned your smile. You noticed his smudged eyeliner and did your best to wipe it with your thumb just under the outside corner of his eye, but it would need to be fixed properly. "Let's go back before you get scolded, okay?"

"Hold my hand?"

"Sure," you chuckled as you stood and took his hand. He followed you that time. When you arrived back he was nagged at by the makeup artist while she properly corrected the eyeliner before being rushed to get his mic set up. You stayed out of the way for a while. Waiting in the green room on your phone until the lights dimmed. You shut off your phone and walked quietly behind the center of the stage where you saw all nine of them getting ready. You went to Kyungsoo and told him you'd be enjoying the performance from the camera monitors backstage. He bent his mic away from his mouth and took out one of his earpieces.

"Are you sure?" he questioned. "The manager said you could stand in front of the barricade with security to see better. Or with the front of the house."

"I don't want to stick out."

"Well, maybe just for the last part then? They'll play a video and you can sneak out to watch the ending mention and the final song. It would mean so much to me to see you in the crowd." You glanced toward the stage. The joined conversations of all the waiting fans seemingly getting louder the longer you stared. There were so many people out there. Your ears hummed with their garbled speech. Then you looked back at Kyungsoo. His kind, hopeful eyes and his wavering grin. The rest of the world didn't seem so noisy anymore. He got you to go this far for him. What was standing by a crowd with a few cameras pointing at you? Nothing, if it made him happy.

"Okay." Yixing leaned over.

"You're going out there later?"

"Yes." At your answer he turned around and started passing the word around to the others. "You're going to be wonderful Kyungsoo. Just like always."

"Thank you jagi. Now I'm all fired up!" Kyungsoo jumped in place and laughed, clapping his hands together in excitement. He looked over your shoulder before hurriedly stealing a kiss. You giggled and covered your mouth with your hand. You felt where he had rubbed the tinted lip gloss on your face. Doing your best to wipe it off before someone saw. He smacked his lips together playfully and grinned. "Enjoy the performance."

You more than enjoyed it. You loved it. Watching them dance and sing and talk with their fans. Seeing them run past you during the video clips to change outfits, dab off sweat and chug water. Hearing the fanchants and seeing the ocean of lights. You didn't think you'd get your heart to calm down for days it was such a rush. When the final video clip was playing you froze staring at the split in the equipment that opened to the steps that would lead you in front of the barricade and out to the front of the stage. You could peek at a group of people who were making comments to eachother while they watched the video. Suddenly it wasn't just excitement making your heart race. You couldn't get what Baekhyun said out of your head. What if Kyungsoo was going to propose to you? What would you do if he asked you to stand on stage with him? You clutched your chest and took a deep breath. Doing your best to put away the anxiety. Because even if he did, would it really be that terrifying?

No. No...you don't think it would be that bad at all. If nothing else, you rationalized, you would do your best to tune out the crowd. Just focus on Kyungsoo. He would ground you. That's what you told yourself.

Taking the first few steps forward, you squinted at the dark floor and found your way to a security staff who, once you gave your name to them, they smiled and escorted you to the right place. Informing the guard they were leaving you with of the situation before going back to their post. You ended up where the stage branched in two directions. It was taller than it looked on camera, but you could see the large semi-circle that made up the back part of the stage. The part that connected to the straight walkway you were beside. A perfect view for where they'd be standing during their mention. You remembered that from rehearsal.

The people behind you were talking quietly. You did your best not to look around. If you saw just how many people were around you you knew you'd panic. You began using your thumb to massage the opposite hand and focused on the stage.

"Hey," you heard from behind you. Then it was repeated with your name attached, so you couldn't help but pivot on your heels. It was a girl who looked a few years younger than you. She waved her lightstick and smiled. "You're Kyungsoo's girlfriend. I didn't see you before. Are you here for something special?"

"Oh, no," you answered politely with a small smile. "We've both been working so I was only able to come support him today."

"I saw clips of your concert on christmas eve and christmas. It was very beautiful. You must be very proud."

"I am. Thank you very much."

"You must be really tired from flying. I hope you ate."

"I did. And not tired don't worry. Just anxious with so many people in one room."

"Oh you have anxiety? Is that why you've never gone to an Exo concert before?"

"Plus it's so damn hard to buy a ticket." You both laughed and the video ended. The room filled with screams and cheers. The girl included. You turned back around and your eyes immediately found Kyungsoo. Junmyeon started talking so the space grew quieter. Kyungsoo was squinting, trying to see past the stage lights, scanning the crowd around the edges of the stage. Then he found you. The corners of his mouth lifted. You grinned back and waved. The hand holding his mic spared two fingers to subtly wave back. Chanyeol tapped his shoulder and whispered in his ear. Kyungsoo nodded his head in your direction and Chanyeol found you as well. He was less subtle. Shaking Kyungsoo in his excitement before going around to get Jongin's attention and point at you. Each of the members had seen where you were by the time three of them had finished their mentions. It was so surreal to see the men you drank and hung out with for years standing under spotlights and talking to their fans. Their very real, very loud fans. You were so caught up in your thoughts you were startled when you realized Kyungsoo had already been speaking.

"And I'm so grateful to have the people closest to me here supporting me tonight, and every day." His gaze landed on you. "I know even when we're far apart you're sending me your love. To the ones who give me strength, thank you." Kyungsoo looked away to see more of the crowd, but you were stuck with a dopey grin on your face. "I hope you all travel home safely and eat a good meal. Be careful of the weather also. It's getting colder since it's almost janurary. Thank you for coming out tonight." He bowed deeply and everyone cheered. Suddenly they were all done and their final song started. The members broke apart to spread around the stage. It was a ballad. You heaved a sigh of relief. No proposal. He didn't even mention you were here directly. You went mostly unnoticed.

Until Baekhyun sent you links to different posts online anyway. They were positive, but it was embarrassing to see your lovestruck, stupid face from five seperate angles with captions and comments about how in love Kyungsoo and you were. A thousand screenshots shared a thousand times from when they were singing and he kneeled in front of you. The moment when Kyungsoo winked at you before returning to wave at fans. The girl you talked to briefly had made a popular post recounting the little chat. People were sharing it like wildfire. Saying how great it was that you overcame your anxiety to watch Exo live. Re-sharing old stories about you interacting with Exo fans as evidence of how kind you are. There were negative comments as well just like every other damn thing posted on the internet, so you got off your phone. Re-affirming to yourself on why you were glad you hadn't created any social media accounts. At least not one where you interacted openly as yourself. Private accounts existed for a reason.

The final straw that proved once and for all that Kyungsoo was planning to propose to you happened the day after he got back from Japan. He had insisted you go for a walk in the park. You say insisted because you'd rather he catch up on sleep and it had gotten late already. He had on suit pants and a button down white shirt instead of clothes he was more comfortable in. That was suspicious enough, but he also went out without anything to cover his face. All you had were your coats. Fingers braided together, he lead you to the river. Following the paved path. It wasn't as abandoned as you suspected it would be. There was at least a dozen other people you could spot. You kept your free hand out of the cold in your coat pocket. The one linked with his growing clammy. He was nervous again. After some time passed, however, your nose began to get icy from the wind.

"Hey Soo," you called softly. He looked over at you, slowing his steps. "We've been out here a while. I love walking with you, but my face is starting to freeze. Can we go home?" He chuckled.

"Sorry, I...I guess I just don't know how to start this."

"Start what?" Instead of answering right away he turned off the path. Taking you into the grass closer to the river bank and stopping to face you. The lamps from the park cast shadows around you and made his skin glow.

"You know I've always been crazy in love with you right?" His free hand went up to your cold cheek, stepping closer. "I feel like because of my position as an idol our relationship hasn't been able to progress in the most traditional manner, but I wouldn't change a thing."

"Of course, sweetheart. I love you too."

"Well I--I actually..." Kyungsoo cleared his throat, eyes darting around your face. He laughed nervously, trying to keep composed. "I've been trying to do this for a long time." Your heart galloped in your chest. You pressed your lips together tightly. Trying your best not to give away you knew by smiling full-on. His palm lowered from your cheek, reaching into his pocket. You were on edge, voice caught in the back of your throat. Ready to scream 'yes'. His visage shaded a bright pink you hoped wasn't only from the chilly wind. It really was freezing out. You were starting to shiver.

"Oh my god!" Someone shouted beside you. You whipped your head around to see a group of five girls and three boys coming your way. They were students. Still in their uniforms. You knew the drill at this point. Dropping your hand from his, you took a step back while Kyungsoo greeted them. They apologized for interrupting, he assured them it was alright, and signed some of their notebooks. Keeping idle chat throughout to be polite. As they apologized again for barging in on your date another couple saw the commotion and came over. Kyungsoo talked with them as well. You smiled to yourself.

Once he was done he took your hand again and you both said goodbye to the small crowd. Kyungsoo walked faster than before away from them towards your apartment. Jaw set in a hard line.

Guess you'd have to wait for him to plan a different proposal.

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo scenario #exo scenarios #exo fluff #kyungsoo #kyungsoo x reader #kyungsoo fluff #do kyungsoo #kyungsoo fanfiction #d.o #baekhyun #chanyeol #yixing #lay #jongin #sehun #jongdae #chen #fluff

[cheylouwho]

Submission from @nellynee

oh thank you for this!!! im putting it under a readmore bc its long but you bring up some fantastic points i missed.

@nellynee submitted:

(meta points on your ACE post that can also be taken into consideration. Just a few things I’ve noticed that I can’t actually collect into cohesive meta enough to post, but I’ve never seen mentioned and I feel are important.)

On Tweek 

A lot of modern Tweek meta take into account his drug addiction when trying to pinpoint which symptoms are mental illness and which are the drugs, and I’ve been looking further into that, trying to figure out what’s been going on. I have a pretty reasonable argument that all of Tweek’s symptoms are all his own mental illness, or alternatively, he’s recently became aware of the meth which is actually a lifelong problem, and is weaning himself off.

I don’t believe that meth was involved in the coffee of the town at all until season 2 at the earliest. We know in the season 2 episode Gnomes, from Mrs. Tweek’s speech at the end, that the Tweek’s make comparatively poor coffee, and we see many people jump away from it in favor of that with better taste. While foul tasting coffee makes sense if the drug is being added wholesale, due to the addictive factor of meth, I just don’t think it would have been possible to loose such a customer base if drugs were involved. (that being said, with the gentrification of the town, and more options for coffee, that seems like a reasonable place for the Tweek’s to have started. I haven’t pinpointed a specific point, but that seems the most reasonable)

What this does mean though is that it is possible that all of Tweek’s behavior in Gnomes, at the very least, was his own and not fuled by anything other than Caffeine.

(argument against. As you said in your own analysis, meth can be used as a treatment for ADD, and the Tweek’s are definitely the type to medicate their own child if they thought it pertinent. I find this actually most likely, and what I adhere to, but my first point still stands at a conversation piece)

I’ve never actually found evidence either, (though if there is some please tell me, it might just be the playthroughs I’ve seen)  that Mrs. Tweek is aware of the meth in the coffee at all. All of the incriminating interactions go through Tweek or Richard, with her outside of the room. 

additional point, we also don’t know what Tweek’s awareness of the situation is either. South Park likes to be very wishy washy about exactly what the children know about more adult topics like sex, politics, drugs, cursing, ect. It tends to vary episode to episode, so there can be arguments made that Tweek lacks understanding of what’s going on, that he’s transporting drugs and the like, but the opposite is true too. But in the end there are three possibilities. Either he isn’t aware and that’s that, he is aware and is actively partaking anyways, or is aware and has been actively avoiding it since the revelation. 

Not all hard facts, but factors I haven’t seen brought up before and are interesting to consider. 

That being said, my personal opinion is such. Tweek is on meth, and has been medicated by his parents in secret since or closely after a false diagnosis of ADD (his attitude towards coffee is to close to an addicts to sway me in this direction) but the coffee for public consumption is not tainted until gentrification starts in town. At this point I’m not sure if Tweek is aware or not. He’s to blase about hard drugs in his home and personal life to actually be aware of the implications of what’s happening given his usual responses, but I can’t believe that all the educational programs of the school and town hasn’t left enough of an impression for him not to connect some dots. Conclusion, he knows, but it’s been normalized in his homelife to the point of not setting him off. I have no evidence on this point, but Craig doesn’t seem like the kind of person to become loud over this sort of information. Just another shitty thing in South Park, and the thought of them quietly weaning Tweek off behind the scenes is pretty cute and sad.

For Cartman

This is something I haven’t posted at all, because it weakens Heidi’s character arc, and I don’t think Matt and Trey are immersed enough into the fandom to have done this on purpose, but there’s some interesting points so here we go. 

Heiman and Creek are obviously paralleled for the last few seasons, but something I don’t see pointed out beyond the top obvious layer is how Heidi and Cartman are paralleled, but we see it VERY HARD in fandom reactions. 

Fandom reaction to Heidi is almost identical to that of Cartmans. He’ start of funny/she start of kind and general well liked. They cross a moral even horizon, the fandom splits into those who bail and those who support, with more and more excuses made for morally ambiguous choices and more support for the positive ones. For Cartman, after so many season and so many morally wrong choices, this leads to a pretty intense fandom. Heidi’s is much more mild, but similar, and having seen the nice person she started out as, it paves the road for potential Cartman redemption, despite having done nonredeemable things. It makes empathizing with him easier, because we got a very condensed version of his own long arc to compare it with. It makes the argument that “it’s not all Cartman’s fault, he can’t help it.” a valid one.

In the end though, and I’m glad I waited to post the meta because the ending only cemented this, it came down to explanations vs excuses, and how those who are abused both have the power to stop the cycle and to perpetrate it. Heidi had explanations that she turned to excuses, and used those excuses to be awful. It’s not arguable that she was abused by Cartman, and even those around her, who were sick of her, still placed a lot of blame on Cartman. But she was able to make a choice to stop, to make an effort at least to stop.

And this is where Cartman is absolutely nonredeemable. Cartman has explanations for his behavior as well. Since the recent seasons a lot more meta has come out about the terrible abuses he’s suffered since an early age. But Cartman doesn’t have excuses, these are EXPLANATIONS.

The episode that hit this home the hardest, and by hit home I mean painted it on our walls with finger paint in big neon letters, was Tsst. It made a big deal of how Liane’s treatment of Cartman was very much a source of his behavior, but it was also Cartman’s own deep, personal choice to continue same behavior as well. In the end, they used Heidi to emphasis that point of self victimization for Cataman, and I feel like her arc was weaker for it. 

About kenny

You made an ACE list for Kenny, and I feel like sexual abuse should be in there somewhere. Not in his own home, but a distressing number of his early season dialog is VERY sexual in nature, that speaks of an easy knowledge that you can’t get from anything other than experience. Again, I don’t feel like this was gained in the home. More likely or not Kenny, knowing at this point he was immortal and much more jaded, went seeing various dangers he knew would no longer affect his body once he died and came cross various sexual situations in that way. We know this is at least partially canon, as he does so with very gross or harmful behaviors in even latter seasons for a quick financial gain/high. for the first seven seasons of dialog, see here for what I mean

http://www.southparkcows.com/kennysays.html

#analysis #what a great followup these are good points #submission

[aion-rsa]

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6 Review: Podcast News

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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6

Without dipping into political waters, The Simpsons season 32, episode 6, “Podcast News,” rides the wave of fake news into a less likely swamp: True crime reporting, and the amateur sleuths who’ve gone pro broadcasting it. Not on broadcast stations, though, those are outdated, and rely on the painstaking drudgery of the finding of facts, which are terrible for ratings. The episode opens in a state of frantic paranoia, eschewing the couch gag entirely, which always bodes well.

It’s 2 a.m., time for Homer’s ham in the Springfield household, but unease is in every shadow. A wide-eyed Lisa is prowling the house looking terrified. “So many lies, so many lies,” she says, setting the tone for the entire episode. When Marge comments that Lisa looks tired, the girl adds to the suspense and confusion by revealing “Looks are deceiving. Nothing is as it seems.” These are all delicious clues, and while they seem to grow in the dire severity of Lisa’s situation, they are also like the string on a bow being drawn back on the arrow of a punchline. “Did they change climate change again,” Homer asks, but sadly, no, it’s still a horrid torrid zone of pain outside. Perfect for that 2 a.m. ham.

The Simpsons routinely open their episodes strong, but this is a particularly suspenseful one. Lisa compounds it by trying to confound her parents, which lets the show weigh in on ASMR. It works, the mere crinkle of paper sends Homer into a deep sleep. This also lets the audience know Lisa’s paranoia is coming from the internet, and not the usual suspect of social media. If that’s not enough, Marge notices the music coming out of Lisa’s buds is in a minor key. Marge’s connections of logic always come on a satisfyingly skewered path. Her conclusions may or may not be correct, but the journey through her thought process is always a worthy trek.

Lisa is exhibiting signs of true crime podcast addiction long before she confesses her need “to know who killed everybody.” The buildup is executed so well by the time she’s all murdered out, everyone watching is ready to go along for the ride-along. And with titles like “Murder Most Stabby” and “Killing Her Softly,” who could blame us? By morning, Marge is hooked. “We have much to discuss,” Lisa says, welcoming her to the genre’s dark web.

Marge and Lisa hysterically, on both senses of the word, capture the true crime obsession. Lines like “Drops of blood you can explain, but drops of brain?” and “How could a woman with four PhDs be so dumb?,” Simpsonized they may be, sound like the kinds of things people scream at their devices while watching these shows. Some people will look at a neck and wonder what ties goes on it, other people look at a neck and say I’d like to choke that.

Abe’s introduction is also a different twist on his usual character, and slightly unexpected. Homer is just finishing telling Bart about how lonely and boring grandpa is, when Abe proves him wrong.  Most of the audience knows the tie on the doorknob is a sign against intruders before Homer and Bart are averting their eyes from octogenarian canoodling behind it but it is worth the payoff.  “If the bolo is hanging, the dentures be clanging,” Abe’s explanation, is hackneyed but clever.

Morgan Fairchild is the perfect choice for Vivienne St. Charmaine, and the “Falcon Landing” title of the former superstar actress’ most famous show is a good play on Fairchild’s best-known nighttime soap. Vivienne, who is drawn to resemble Morgan, appears to really like Abe, and not just for his long and drawn out stories. She calls him her senile old sex machine, and says he’s so sweet he “should come with an insulin pump.” The episode also pokes at old people romance, suggesting a couples’ colonoscopy and a romantic dinner cruise make for a perfect evening. Lucky for the audience, it actually sets up an ideal scene for a crime which can pull the two narratives together.

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Abe becomes the subject of a slew of podcasts after Vivienne disappears with a splash. This isn’t the first time the weight of the media has settled on a member of the Simpson family. “Homer Badman,” from season 6, culminated in a mock TV-crime reenactment show called “Homer Simpsons: Portrait of an Ass Grabber,” when all he wanted was the prized Gummy de Milo candy stuck on a young woman’s jeans. We believed him then, thousands didn’t, but he is, after all, the kind of guy who falls asleep at the sound of crinkled paper. Abe doesn’t even need that. It makes sense he’s so suggestible he’d believe other people’s testimony over his own memories, just like he believes Shampoo Shuttle is the future of hair care. That and because he’s forgotten most of his memories along with his hair.

Chief Wiggum delivers a great deadpan saying how rude it is that Abe won’t confess. But the line about Springfield Police force’s Hand Push Test registering the result as “No Such Test” is the subtle winner. Also, his theory positing to “catch a murderer, you have to set them free to murder again” is both ridiculous, and frightening.

It is sad the only reason we know Grandpa didn’t do the actual murder is because he doesn’t have that kind of follow through. Homer starts off with disbelief, but only because fathom Abe ever being a person of interest, never, not once. But after he thinks about it, Homer begins to think his father is “capable of doing anything up to and including murder.” The podcasts are insidious, and their influence comes in very subliminally. Their force is almost portrayed as an unseen enemy.

It is very funny how Abe is convinced of his own guilt by episode 9 of Kent Brockman’s podcast “Guilty Grandpa,” although in episode 6, he thought it might have been a hot-headed deckhand. But it feels good to know he was actually more of a dupe than a criminal. If he was a better criminal, he would have remembered his crime at least. It is also very poignant when Abe says how he believes Vivienne is going to be the last love of his life

The reason “Podcast News” works has less to do with The Simpsons staying up to date with entertainment technology and more with what they are tackling. They have been hit and miss with some of their political humor, as the show’s been walking its own landmine between what pushes boundaries and what hits the wrong buttons, but they are always spot on with social commentary.

The kinds of paranoia which are so addictive in the true crime genre hook people from both sides of the scale. Yes, there is always good evidence ignored, and bad cops to ignore it. And, yes, hosts like Tabitha Shingle (Christine Nangle) are so dry the audience is constantly parched for any wet, bloody detail. But the episode is also a cautionary tale.

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The nightly reports from anchors like Kent Brockman are becoming yesterday’s news. We get this inadvertently from Yeardley Smith, who plays herself as the host of the podcast “Smalltown Dicks” and nowhere else. They are very self-conscious about using her, and get in some self-referential wordplay, but her concerns are valid. The podcasts can tout doubt with statements like “90-year-old people don’t just stop breathing,” or use Abe’s World War II heroics, as Johnny Flamethrower who said the fires were telling him who to burn, against him.

Of course, everyone loves DNA swabs, and spatter analysis, but every quickie podcast dramatization starring Stellan Skarsgård is at the cost of “painstakingly accumulated uncertainties.” And with that, out-of-touch news anchors like Kent Brockman can bid farewell to relevancy. The episode also gets in a dig at NPR, which they say means No Possible Revenue.

“Podcast News,” named for the comedy drama Broadcast News, is a good parody of the podcast craze. In spite of its similarity to “Bad Homer,” the episode is very current, a little tricky, and comes at us from a different kind of angle. The Simpsons have given us stories about Abe’s shady pasts. He’s been around almost longer than anyone but Monty Burns, so he has a lot more past to shade. It’s to his credit, Abe can bear the weight of the blame, especially at his age. The most frightening concept of the episode, however, is the level of personal information can be gleaned from colonoscopy technology. Filled with singularly funny one liners, “Podcast News” manages to keep a sense of tension throughout, and ends on a satisfying morally ambiguous note.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6 Review: Podcast News appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[alamble23]

Re-watching The King of the Delta Blues ....

JFC, you guys, are they EVER going to stop torturing us with the clips from “Hollywoodland” during the previouslies? RUB A LITTLE MORE SALT IN THE WOUND WHY DONTCHA?

I feel like a broken record pointing this out every week, but the casting and music departments on this show KILL.IT. Kamahl Naiqui is amazing as Robert Johnson.

The infamous, incredibly tasteless, truly awful joke: I just seriously don’t get what Anslem Richardson and the writers room were trying to accomplish here. Lisette over at Fangirlish theorizes that Rufus is making fun of Wyatt for loud sex that isn’t actually happening (because things between Wyatt and Jess aren’t going particularly well), and I suppose I can get behind that interpretation, since nobody else makes mention of it? I just really think this could have been done in a way that was A. WAY less ambiguous; and B. didn’t make Rufus and Wyatt look like idiotic jackasses. 

Anyway, moving on to Wyatt and Lucy being barely civil to each other.  Wyatt, honey, own this.  This is like the mother of all “be careful what you wish for” scenarios, dude. 

Rufus is now in the lead for “worst bunker boyfriend ever” but it’s gonna be a dead heat as long as Jessica remains on site and Jiya’s visions keep getting worse.

Speaking of Jessica, no Tonya Glanz in this episode, and to be quite frank, I didn’t miss her. No offense to her as an actress, but there’s plenty of tension to be mined there without Jessica actually being on my screen.

Ahem.

That Lifeboat cockpit is pretty effin’ cramped. How do they even have ROOM to add a fourth seat?

Drunk Uncle Connor is funny and sad all at once. 

“Well, if you’re not here to provide intelligence, what are you good for?” I love snarky Wyatt.  (And he has a bit of a point, even if he made it as meanly as possible) 

Oh, Connor, being drunk on your first mission is not an issue with this crowd. Just ask Wyatt. 

Mama Bear Denise, laying down the law about Flynn going on the mission, and handing over the one thing he’s wanted since he showed up in the bunker - a gun.

“Keep them safe.” “I wouldn’t have it any other way. *wink*” Of course Flynn is going to be flippant when Wyatt is deadly serious. 

In the Bunker of Terrible, Horrible, No-good, Very Bad Decisions, Mama Bear and Brother Bear plan the Rittenhouse raid while Baby Bear looks on, horrified. 

Incidentally, ladies, the word is C-A-V-A-L-R-Y.

I would love to know what lie Wyatt came up with when he told Jess that he was gonna be gone all day. 

Mason waxing philosophically about the wonders of time travel, rudely interrupted by alcohol-induced travel sickness. You lasted longer than Wyatt did, at least. 

I’d say Don Law took this whole mess rather well, all things considered. 

Much of Robert Johnson’s life is not very well-documented, which allows the show to really play up the urban myths surrounding him; another variation on the fate-vs-free will argument. 

Meanwhile, at Rittenhouse of Horrors #1, Wyatt gets in just a little TOO easily, until he’s ambushed by a redshirt. (also, Mama Bear, get your clock straight - that was Wyatt’s two, YOUR eight. The redshirt came at him from the front and to his right.)

That fight sequence was hella confusing - I still can’t figure out how Wyatt managed to turn his sidearm back on him. And why is Wyatt not using the phonetic alphabet? Jiya may be a civilian but I’m pretty sure she could have figured that out.

The lack of security at Rittenhouse of Horrors #1 leads me to believe that Carol might have gone a little bit rogue with that snatch-and-grab job last week on Mama Bear. 

And Mason as good as admits that he had a pretty good idea what he was getting into when he accepted funding from Rittenhouse.  Asshole. 

This conversation between Flynn and Lucy ... ugh. It just makes me stabby. “Sometimes I feel like I know you better than you know yourself.” NO.  JUST NO.  That shit is not romantic, it is fucking creepy. My apologies that I can’t remember who posted this analysis not long ago, but someone made the argument that Flynn is treating the version of Lucy that wrote the journal like a ficitonal character, not a flesh-and-blood person. It’s an excellent bit of meta, and frankly, I wish I’d seen it sooner. 

Hi, Sleeper Agent! I am guessing that the individual they killed at the top of the episode was actually a backup agent, who might have been sent back when Rittenhouse discovered that the team went back to San Antonio? It’s about the only explanation that makes sense to me.

True story: when I woke up yesterday morning and got caught up on the West Coast live tweets, I saw tweets from Matt and Abby referencing strawberry milkshakes and I had NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT. 

So, this conversation basically confirms that Lucy’s journal does not reference every mission, correct? If it had, wouldn’t Flynn have avoided the Hindenburg? Or does Lucy just specifically not reference Amy? Too confusing.

Mason, do you honestly think that Mama Bear is jusst gonna let you waltz out of the bunker? SHE HAD YOU ARRESTED, YO. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN JAIL.

Back at Rittenhouse of Horrors #2, what the heck was Wyatt doing while Jiya was cracking firewalls? Did he go back to the bunker?

I am totally here for Jiya defending Wyatt. 

That being said, Mama Bear has a point.

And we get to the fateful, yet too-brief confrontation between Wyatt and Carol Preston. Wyatt, of  course, can’t take the shot at Carol, I think partly because he recognizes her value as a potential source of information, were he to get her out of there alive, but mostly, let’s be real, because he couldn’t do that to Lucy. She knows nothing about this mission, and she would never forgive him for making that decision. He;s caused her enough pain already, he won’t add to it, not like this. Not if it’s avoidable.

Good lord, Nicholas Keynes is a TERRIBLE shot.  I mean, yes, modern weapons are very different than what he would be used to, but they didn’t have him go to a gun range or something, just in case? No wonder he died in WWI. Also, the fact that Wyatt is barely winded, tells me that none of Nicholas’ bullets did more than graze him. Bullets+Kevlar leave NASTY bruises.

And add Connor Mason to the list of people who have been put in the untenable position of “kill-or-be-killed” on a mission. If they do this to Jiya at some point, IMMA REVOLT.  

“Fanboys don’t save the world, Rufus!” - Yeah, but Fanboys and Fangirls do sometimes save their favorite show!

This scene between Rufus and Connor is so brilliant.  Malcolm and Paterson just knock it out of the park.

Speaking of Paterson knocking things out of the park .... this pep talk is amazing. 

It reminds me a little of one of my favorite quotes from The West Wing: “Decisions are made by the people who SHOW UP.”

Free will wins again.  

Poor Jiya. You think she feels left out, always having to stay home? 

Oh, Wyatt.  That is the face of someone DEEPLY REGRETTING his recent life choices. 

Imma just pretend that the episode ends right here, with Mason joyfully reliving his small part in making music history. “That was my yeah!”

Nope, Lucy’s new drinking buddy DIDN’T HAPPEN. Jiya’s vision of what is clearly the season finale DEFINITELY DIDN’T HAPPEN. 

I’m going to be at the beach next weekend, hopefully indoctrinating some friends into the Timeless cult. Until then, #Clockblockers!

#nbc timeless #s2x06: The King of the Delta Blues #lucy preston #wyatt logan #jiya marri #rufus carlin #connor mason #denise christopher

[kvotheunkvothe]

So I saw Blade Runner 2049, today. I’m still not entirely sure what I think of it.

First, a note on the original Blade Runner: I tried to watch this movie multiple times when I was a child, but fell asleep every time. I only finally saw it in college and--unfortunately--it was one of the cuts with voice-over. It was visually interesting and I liked the concept, but I spent the whole movie just thinking “shut the FUCK UP, DECKARD.” Also the romance and sex/rape scene was, uh, extremely uncomfortable. And the saxophones didn’t help. All in all, not my favorite, but a movie that has stuck with me.

Second, a note on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?: this is, of course, the basis of Blade Runner, and it’s a pretty good book. Oddly, though, I think I liked the movie’s handling of the central philosophical issue (what does it mean to be human and what difference does it make if it’s artificial) better. This actually came off pretty heavy-handed and too definitive near the end (spoiler: essentially it didn’t end up mattering how advanced they make the androids, that’s just smarts; they still will lack basic empathy), and I wished the author had left it more ambiguous. Also, the main character is still kind of a gross weirdo.

Which brings me to Blade Runner 2049. Unfortunately, I got to the theater too later for the 2D and had to see it in 3D. I think this is a terrible gimmick, and it actually made the film worse. You’ve seen those brilliant colors in the trailer? The 3D glasses made everything darker and duller. I’m so mad at myself for this.

The movie itself I think I’m still digesting. I’ll talk about spoilers under the cut, but that means I can’t talk about... actually even the main conflict of this film. But the central thesis is still the same as it was in Blade Runner and in the book and looks at the human/android condition and what that means. It was well-acted and it looked good (keeping in mind, again, 3D is just terrible and I want it to go away). However, while the acting was good, I don’t think I connected with any of the characters very much. Maybe the protagonist a little--he’s very calm and controlled for most of the movie, but he does show an explosion of emotion at one point. I think the story and the visuals will be what draws people, however, Although I think the primary motivations of the main antagonist of the movie didn’t make much sense, in retrospect. Again, trying to avoid spoilers, but if you consider bottom-lines and what a corporation would want in terms of product control, this just doesn’t add up. This movie was also quite long, but it kept me interested the whole time. I kind of left the theater in a daze, feeling very quiet inside. So I think I liked the film, but it might take me a little more time to parse out why.

Some spoiler-talk below the cut.

Concerning the antagonists: technically we have both the LAPD and the corporation. However, the LAPD ended up kind of hitting a dead-end when the boss was killed. I understood the motivations of the LAPD; wanting to cover things up to maintain order. What makes less sense is the corporation’s plan, here. I understand he said production of androids couldn’t match his vision to expand into the stars. But the corporation itself wasn’t doing the expansion, just selling the product. Their concern should be product control and income. If they have products that can make more of themselves outside their control, they don’t get income for those new androids. As they said in the movie, this is slavery. When a slave is sold, the initial owner doesn’t get profits from the offspring after the sale. They might charge more for a unit that can self-replicate, but ultimately they’d lose. Also, they could just make less-real androids to mass produce; they don’t all need to be perfect human-matches. What a silly business model. Also, if the demand outstrips production to this degree, they can charge more or just build more factories. This just doesn’t make sense, to me.

About the memory, as the primary catalyst: why did K even have that memory? She says using real memories is forbidden. She also said she likes to give replicants a happy childhood. She’s also kind of in hiding. So why send out a random, terrible memory that implicates her past and that may be implanted in anyone? If K hadn’t had that memory, he’d never have thought the tree carving was so weird, and it wouldn’t have given him so many clues to lead back to her. It also would take out a lot of the driving force of the movie, when he thought the memory was his and that he was the child. So it kind of felt like they only put it in there for plot-purposes and not because it really made sense that that would happen.

#blade runner 2049 #review

[samtheflamingomain]

welcome to death note, where the plot makes no sense and the rules don’t matter

Unless you've been living under a rock the past few months, you're aware that there's a live-action American Death Note movie on Netflix.

I wasn't going to watch it because I knew it would be bad and I am a MASSIVE DN fan. I didn't want it to ruin one of my favourite things.

While I wouldn't say it did that, I will say that it was, without exaggeration, the worst screen adaptation of anything I've ever seen.

I went in with low expectations and knowing they'd have to change the plot around to fit into 90 minutes. The bar was so low and yet they managed to disappoint me at every turn.

So let's get into the details. Spoilers ahead, but who cares this movie is garbage.

I'll break it down into several aspects: acting and characterization, pacing and plot, visuals and sound, and finally, the sheer amount of nonsense and bullshit this film vomited into my face.

Okay. I hated every single character's personality. NONE of the characters were even remotely similar to the characters in the manga/anime. Light is a stupid, naive teenager who thinks with his dick. Mi(s)a is a sociopathic, manipulative cunt, Light's father is EXTREMELY stupid, Ryuk is not a neutral character (which is extremely important), and, finally, L. Oh, lord, L.

L is a cold, detached, calculating super genius detective. In the original. In the movie, he's a ballsy, irrational, emotional mess who somehow knows how to drive and wield a gun - unthinkable of OG L.

And to touch briefly on the acting: Nat Wolff is the only one I really have a problem with. He wears a constant look of confusion the whole movie and acts like a troubled child, not like a fucking serial killer.

Now, to your immense surprise, there is one character that I found was nearly spot-on: Watari.

And finally, the movie lacked in sheer number of characters. The ones I listed are, quite literally, the only ones in the film who speak. I get it, they didn't have time to do the Near, Mello, Takada, or Mikami plots. But I guarentee this movie would've greatly benefited from a Matsuda character, a Rem character, and Light's mother and sister.

Onto pacing and plot.

Again, I know they only had 90 minutes, but within the first ten minutes, Light has the notebook and hooks up with someone he barely knows (Mia), shows her the notebook, and they’re instantly dating and having some creepy murder sex. Within the first 30 minutes, nearly everyone knows Light is Kira.

Now to the main problems with the plot itself: there is no reason to give Light more motive to become a killer. It's his personality and his worldly outlook that causes him to take up killing. In the movie, they sloppily throw in some bullshit about his mom being killed, but they don't make that the actual motivation for killing. How do we know this? Well...

In the movie, his first kill is a bully at school (something OG Light was smart enough to realize is fucking stupid) and when told to add a cause of death, he immediately jumps to "decapitation" - revealing instantly that he's a sick fuck. Sure, bullies suck, but do they deserve to be fucking decapitated? Light Yagami only killed actual criminals (until he has to kill people investigating him).

This might seem petty, but it's actually super important: Ryuk shows up before Light kills anyone. In the original, Light needed no prodding from a Death God to begin his murder spree. In the movie, it's Ryuk that goads him into his quest. This goes back to the fact that Ryuk is supposed to be neutral. It takes away Light's agency and makes it feel like Ryuk is controlling him.

L makes WAY too many guesses with little logic or evidence. It takes a lot longer for L to deduce Light is Kira in the original. Movie L makes some very uncharacteristic leaps of logic just for the sake of driving the movie on.

There's a scene pretty early on that mimics a similar scene in the original with Light and L sitting in a diner together. In the original, it’s not super important. Movie version involved L outright accusing him of being Kira on flimsy-at-best evidence, and then, in what might be the worst event in the movie, Light readily admits to being Kira and taunts him about not knowing how he kills.

After some bullshit about Light mind-controlling Watari (more on that later) to try and get L's name and Watari dies, L goes on a destructive car/foot chase with Light. In the original, it's important for L to figure out how Kira kills before killing him. This movie L doesn't seem to care about anything but revenge and being proven right.

I keep saying this, but another horribly-written thing happens that might be the worst part: L has Light cornered with a gun on him and someone randomly comes and knocks L over the back of the head, the very epitome of a Deus Ex Machina.

Then we get to the climax, which is an extremely long scene where Light and Mia hijack the Seattle ferris wheel, take it to the top and fight over who should own the book. They've both written each others' names down and the pages need to be burned by midnight if they want to live (groan, unnecessary race-against-time). They spend a good 5 minutes dangling from the wheel when RYUK causes it to collapse; something OG Ryuk would have NEVER EVER DONE, because, as the movie fails to explain, Ryuk’s motivation is supposed to be boredom. I’ll touch more on why this happens in a bit. Mia falls to her death, Light falls into the water, into a coma, and wakes up two days later.

Okay, now I do have to give the movie a bit of credit here: it seems at first like a bunch of ridiculous coincidences that lead to Light outliving Mia. Turns out he saw all this coming (somehow) and had quickly used the book to ensure that: the wheel collapses, Mia falls from the wheel and dies, the page with his name is burned so he will live, that he's rescued from the water after his fall, that he's in a coma but murders continue via a random criminal writing in the book before delivering it back to Light just as he wakes from the coma. I'll pick this part apart in a minute because there is just so much wrong with this sequence of events that I can’t even.

And finally, the ending, if you can call it that. The writers were VERY clearly trying to be clever and leave us with a cliffhanger.

L is "proven wrong" about Light being Kira because the murders continued while he was in a coma, and is supposed to go back to Japan, before he suddenly remembers that Mia has a page of the book at her house. He gets there and finds the page she used to kill invesigators behind Light's back. The movie ends with L, shaking in uncharacteristic anger, about to write Light's name. Fade to black.

Finally, one last thought on the plot before I touch on other elements: this is a terrible adaptation, but an even worse movie. As a stand-alone movie, viewers new to Death Note would no doubtedly leave feeling confused and like nothing important was said in the movie. It does nothing to touch on the ambiguity of Kira's actions vs. L's. It has no underlying takeaway besides "Hey look at this cool book!"

Okay, quick thoughts on visuals and sound. Visuals are great (minus whatever bullshit paper mache project that is Ryuk). They dont' shy away from gruesome depictions of murders. I'd cite the incredible series of events that lead to Kenny being decapitated as the best example.

Hated the audio. Random songs start playing where score would've been better.

Okay, now onto the nitty-gritty details that make this movie absolutely fall apart.

Most of them are to do with the mechanics of how the Death Note is supposed to work. The original only has one page of rules and no names in it yet. Movie Book has pages and pages of rules and names filled in. There are rules that don't exist in the original (like the burning of the page to save the life of the victim, the fact that Mia can't see Ryuk after touching the note*, and most deplorably, the rule about "must be physically possible" being shattered into pieces at every turn.

*When Light first shows Mia the book and has her touch it, he assumes she’ll be able to see Ryuk WITH NO REASON TO BELIEVE THIS. In the original, Ryuk has to tell Light about this rule. In the movie, Light GUESSES that that’s how it works. And he’s wrong: unlike the original where Mia would’ve seen Ryuk, Ryuk claims in the movie that only the owner of the book can see him - super convenient for Light, who walks around school with the book in full view.

But there's a lot of other bullshit that ruins this monstrosity. There's a turning point in the movie where Mia tries to convince Light to kill his own father. The prompting event doesn't happen in the original, but I have no doubt that OG Light would've killed him without hesitation, as he outright says in the original. Because OG Light would be smart enough to know that leaving his father alive in that situation would immediately implicate him.

Here's one of the worst offenses (again, I know): Light writes the name "Watari" in the book. And it works. Watari is not his real name, and even if it were, who only has one name?

L does the whole "taunting Kira to kill him on TV" as in the original, but this event leads him to the conclusion that Light needs a name and a face - something that makes absolutely no sense for him to instantly know after one test.

Now, about the ending sequence at the ferris wheel and the hospital. The police are chasing Light and Mia, the two threaten the wheel's operator with a gun to take them up. And then he's later "officially" exonerated because the murders continued while he was in a coma, but because Light killed his mother's killer, his father "knows” he's Kira, which, of course, Light admits. If he's "officially" not Kira, why did he run from the cops and hijack a ferris wheel? L knows the power of killing can be transferred to another, yet doesn't explain this fact to anyone when the killings continue during Light’s coma.

And the biggest shitshow of nonsense? The way Light kills Mia and ensures he lives and ends up with the book again. Waaay too much of it is contingent on luck, along with some great rule-breaking.

Light writes: Mia takes the book, the wheel collapses, she falls to her demise, and the page with his name on it is burned. That's not how it works. There cannot be a passive action in a Death Note murder. He would've had to write: Mia takes the book, burns Light's page, then falls to her demise.

He also writes that he himself falls but goes into a coma, set to wake up in two days. Also impossible. You can't create a sequence of events that affect someone other than the murder victim. And you especially can’t use it to (directly) save someone’s life.

Essentially, Light is writing things he'd like to happen in the book. It's a Death Note, not a Life Note, and certainly not a Wish Note.

He also writes that criminal number one retrieves him from the water and revives him. The criminal would have to know there's a kid in the water, where he is, and how to revive him. Possible, but not foolproof because of the "physically possible" rule. If dude didn't know CPR, Light would've died.

Then, he has criminal number two retrieve the Death Note and continue writing names in the book for the two days he's in the coma, and then return it to him in the hospital. This is less about "physically possible" and more about somehow being able to brainwash him. The events leading up to his death have to be something he could conceiveably do on his own. See also: the brainwashing of Watari.

Let me explain a bit more: in the original, Light experiments with the "physically possible" rule. In one test he writes: (criminal) draws a perfect likeness of L's face on his prison wall before dying. This isn't physically possible because the criminal doesn't know what L looks like, so it's inconcievable that he could, under any circumstance, draw L's face.

Similarly, there's no way that Watari would think of going back to the orphanage to get L's real name, nor is there a conceivable way that a criminal would think to go to Light's specific hospital room and leave him the book. It has to be something they could potentially think of themselves.

Now, I know these are a lot of extremely fine details, but to people who know how the book is supposed to work, it all looks messy and contrived.

Finally, let me leave you with one last gripe/thought. Death Note is an IP originating from Japan. I get that it's a purposely American adaptation meant for American audiences, but something in the movie happens that kind of pissed me off:

Light chooses the name Kira (instead of his fans choosing the name) largely because it means "killer" in Japan, then decides to try and throw people off his scent by focusing his murders in Japan. I have no doubt that this was meant to be a nod to its Japanese origins, but it comes off as... kind of like kicking the original when it's already down. You're taking a Japanese IP, taking it to America, then using Japan as a scapegoat for American Light. Maybe it's just me, but it really made me think, "Haven't they suffered enough just by the fact that this movie exists?"

I'm sure there's a bunch of stuff I've missed due to repressing the memory of ever seeing this terrible movie, but those are my major (and minor) problems with it.

Don't see it. It's bad.

And DEAR GOD, PLEASE DON'T MAKE A SEQUEL.

Stay Greater.

#death note #death note movie #death note 2017 #movie review #review #sam

[tumblunni]

MAN I tried messing around starting newgame plus on Digimon Cyber Sleuth, even though I’ve played more than enough already so I’m not really gonna play again so soon after finishing. And... WHAT THE HELL?? Seriously this is like a one game microcosm of how you don’t realise how much you’re being mistreated until you see how the other side lives. Specifically on the subject of weird minority stereotypes... The difference between the designs/animations/general presentation of the two gender options is REALLY BIZARRE?? I had no clue! Playing as the girl you just kinda think ‘yeah thats weird maybe’ but you dont realise the dude doesnt have the same problems. Like... she VERY MUCH suffers from the ‘miss male character’ trope. She’s the weird sort of ‘lol sexy genderswap deviantart fanfiction’ version of a female option. I thought I was just reading too much into it with how the girl is posed like a supporting character on the boxart and literally never appeared in any of the promotional material until the game came out... Its just so... ODD! Everything EVERYTHING about her is defined to be this overthetop stereotypical idea of ‘we have to let them know she’s the girl version’. She’s far more sexualized, she always does these ‘girly’ or ‘hot’ poses for LITERALLY EVERYTHING! Like, the dude’s animation is just running but she has to run with her arms wide out to the sides, skipping like a five year old and swaying her hips. And her standing pose also has the hands out, her toes inturned, her chest thrust forwards and this general sort of ‘tee hee hee’ thing?? It really REALLY started to bug me how her chest is ALWAYS thrust forwards, I started to get super anxious about ‘holy shit am I ever doing that when I walk and i dont know it? is this really how female bodies are supposed to work??’. Its like her resting pose is this thing and its extremely painful for her to fold her joints back into a normal mode. And she’s always always posing when the dude isnt posing AT ALL, even her selection screen image is her doing the ‘one leg bounces back while you kiss someone’ type pose, contorted into a wild accordion while he’s just looking at the camera. I jsut... didnt even realise what was bothering me so much about playing as this character, til i saw the total absence of it on the dude... SERIOUSLY! He doesnt have some overstereotypical super huge macho animation set, his design isnt made to yell ‘I’M MALE’, he isnt sexualized, he isnt the ‘one body type everyone in this gender has to have’. He’s a scrawny androgenous waif that could have worked equally well if you slapped the label female on that design, somehow to make him female they decided they had to scoop out holes in his waist and hips and shove them on his chest. While also adding a bazillion extra animations that make her walk around everywhere like that one damn gif of terrible ragdoll physics as some guy walks down a road. I did not understand that whole assassins creed controversy about ‘but women need more animations, it’d be too much work to add them’. NOW I UNDERSTAND. Why on EARTH do they think they need these animations?? Women dont have to do everything differently to men to prove theyre women, in real life literally nobody worries about accentuating stereotypical gender roles while doing COMPLETELY NORMAL THINGS. Women dont put huge effort into looking cute or sexy while they’re just frickin walking down the street or standing alone in the privacy of their own home. Its like these people know so little about women outside of hollywood femme fatale movies that they legit think that sort of walk cycle is biologically ingrained into one gender???? The fact nobody ever acts like macho bodybuilder walk cycles should be given to normal tiny teenagers in every situation makes it pretty clear the difference here... And seriously, what is even this universal THING that ‘male are default, you need to mark a character as different to show she’s female’? Which usually means making her more feminine than the real female actor playing her, like that even makes a damn lick of sense :P I mean seriously if we’re gonna talk actual biology, men are the ‘different’. A species cannot exist with only men, the only one sex species are all female. Or lack a sex, or contain both sets of genitals. Also there is at least one bird species that has two male genders as well as female. And male seahorses get pregnant, and male clownfish can physically transition into females as part of their natural life cycle. And all sorts of far more diverse things we humans can barely understand! And like... you can say ‘women are the different and men are the blank, because women have boobs and men don’t’. But you can also say that women are the default because men are the same thing with penises added. And seriously, boobs are just nipples that actually serve their intended purpose. Women have this extra function compared to men because MALE BREASTS ARE VESTIGAL! The organ still exists, it just sits there doing nothing and never changes at puberty. (Though even that is more fluid that you’d expect, there are ways to induce lactation even if you’re a cis man. i dont really know why anyone would want to do that, it wouldnt exactly work as well, but whatever.) Aaaaand OF COURSE this entire thing is a stupid argument anyway because it only talks about biology, which is not the same thing as gender. Not to mention that biological sex isn’t all cut and dry either, the human species has A LOT of different intersex conditions. You can even have people who don’t have significant enough outward symptoms to be recognised as intersex at birth, who go their whole life thinking they’re a cis male only to suddenly find out they had an undiagnosed hormone condition and are technically a trans man. There is most definately no magical biological guideline for how men and women act. Especially frickin stupid nonsense like overspecific cultural guidelines on what’s cute for a woman to do while running, geez. You really can;t just ‘tell’ that someone is ‘really a woman’ or ‘really a man’ cos of how they act, and thats why this stuff pisses me off even when the story isnt saying anything about trans people. I’m so used to seeing this overexaggerated japanese concept of feminine/masculine mannerisms being used on trans stereotypes, it bugs me even seeing it being done to cis women... gahh this has gone wildly offtopic and I’m just venting Everything Bad About Stereotypes rather than the specific thing about this specific game I need to logoff and go cheer myself up. OH BUT yeah this game also literally has a friggin ‘we can tell this man is really a woman because mannerisms’ scene :P which also dissappointed the hell out of me cos it seemed like a trans character and instead it was the cliche I Had Some Reason To Pretend To Be A Man thing... Also apparantly instead of acting like that male persona, the male persona was magical brainwashing virtual reality stuff. What a wasted opportunity! You could have told us a lot of stuff about her personality from comparing how she acted while under this other fake personality, and what it implies she hides from other people. Like ‘hey, maybe she actually can be confident as long as she’s wearing a mask!’ Nah, everything badass or tough or sassy she did was just mind control. And she’s not trans. And blehh being outed by ‘acting like a girl’... Its so weird cos the game actually does have one trans npc in a sidequest, and has trans themes with a few major digimon. In the sense that they were male in previous seasons and have designs considered ‘masculine’ but take female forms when disguising themselves as humans. (and the player-controlled versions of these digivolutions even have different masculine voices matching earlier seasons!) Gahhhh at least I can sit here hugging my ambiguously genderqueer alphamon headcanons and nobody can tell me those arent canon cos the question was never answered either way! I hate the cliche answer that ‘yes all alphamons are male cos they ‘look male’, this one was just a man disguised as a woman’, but still even if that was the intent, it means the character is trans coded! EITHER OPTION IS TRANS TIME protect me, alphamon protect me from super gender essentialist game how do you even EXIST in this game?? seriously even your human disguise was super fanservicey weird female stereotypes mannnnnn i guess I had a few problems with this game aside from the one stupid rape scene :P aaaaand the problem of the game clearly being written assuming nobody would play the female option, so characters still constantly call you ‘he’ and such the only good consolation being that the game accidentally becomes Hella Gay, though I would have preferred canon lesbians instead of this weirdness WHY CANT FEI AND YUUKO BE CANON IT GOT SO CLOSE TO BEING CANON THEN FEI DISSAPPEARED FROM THE PLOT FOREVER only reappearing as a postgame newgame plus bonus boss that makes it impossible to complete the damn Masters Cup damn you fei damn you awesome amazing hella gay fei whom i love you deserved to be in a better game you deserved to be the matt-esque rival, i will never forget that you started off teasing that role and then just vanished... HELL, CAN SHE BE THE PROTAGONIST OF A SEQUEL OR SOMETHING game entirely about her and yuuko��s amazing story of love! also alphamon wandering in just to yell ‘I AM CANONICALLY TRANSGENDER’, make everyone a cup of coffee, and leave aaaaa why did i spend so long rambling every single complaint about this game, games in general, gender stereotypes in gender, life in general... its weird how just realizing ONE THING about a stupid walk cycle animation made me realise my general nebulous feeling of uncomfortableness that I could never explain about this game :P I am really excited for digimon world next order being better than this!

#long post #sorryyyy #bunni is a bit tired and sad and venty